#I'm in more pain now from walking and the heat is getting to me lmao
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perfectblve · 5 months ago
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got lost looking for the hotel, finally found it, its 3.30pm, check in is from 3pm, my room isn't ready help
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crazyyluvr · 8 months ago
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Hello! I have a request if that's okay? Could you maybe do a James Potter x male!reader (with the reader being Ravenclaw) where they end up being partnered together in potions and afterwards James is like 'shit. I think I might be gay.'
Basically where the reader is his gay awakening haha
A Revelation in Potions (Not Through Amortentia, That's too Generic)
pairing: james potter x male!ravenclaw!reader
summary: in which James never knew men could be so attractive until he gets paired up with you in a Potions activity.
genre: fluff, gay awakening, crushing
wc: 2.1k
warning/s: cursing, reader is a little taller than james, he/him pronouns, gay panic, james is a lil shy here, potion nonsense that i made up on the spot, reader is good in potions, mention of boobs lmao
note: oooh, interesting request anon. i like it. i hope you enjoy!!
oneshot under the cut :: not edited :: part 1 | part 2
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James Potter was dying.
No, not literally. But he did feel like he was literally dying.
This is what a painful death felt like, didn't it? The inability to properly take in air, the painful pounding of his racing heart, the stumble of his tongue as he tried and failed to properly speak.
On the contrary, James Potter was not just dying. He was dying of embarrassment.
Let's rewind a little bit for some context.
Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were stuck in the dungeons of a double Potions class together. As usual, James sat beside his friend Sirius Black, and as usual, they were noisy with sniggers and poorly muted whispers.
"Black, Potter, do you have something that you'd like to share?" Professor Slughorn called to the two boys sitting in the back after a wheeze from Sirius was too loud for the professor to ignore.
"No sir, we're — we're fine," James said, sounding slightly out if breath from containing his laughter at a joke Sirius had made. "Just a little hot in here, isn't it?"
Slughorn sighed. "It's less hot here in the front, Potter, so why don't you switch with Shelby here?"
The girl sitting beside you perked up at the mention of her name, looking back and blushing when she realized that she was going to be sitting beside Sirius Black.
"On the contrary sir, I think I feel slightly colder already," James grinned. "I'm fine with staying at the back."
"I insist, Potter," Slughorn held a strained smile, displaying the fact that James had no choice but to follow.
The boy sighed, giving Sirius an exaggerated mournful look before picking up his things and walking over to the now vacant seat in the front, messing up his hair along the way out of habit.
He set his things down beside his chair and slumped into it, sparing a glance at his new seatmate. "Hello. I guess you're stuck with me for today," James said quietly, not wanting to disrupt Slughorn's lesson again.
You turned to face him, giving him a small smile. "I guess so. Nice to meet you."
James nodded, and you looked away to jot down some notes as Slughorn wrote on the board.
James did a double take, his brain just processing the face he saw.
Woah, he's handsome.
He couldn't stop himself from looking at you again, taking in your features from the side; your focused eyes, your cheeks, your jawline, your lips.
James had to make himself blink twice to snap himself out of his trance. I'm straight. So what if he's handsome? I'm handsome too.
"Now that we're done with our lesson, you will use the rest of the period to brew a simple Sleeping Draught with your seatmate," Slughorn announced. "Go through your books for the procedure, and don't hesitate to ask me any questions you may have."
With a wave of his wand, a cauldron appeared on the side of each pair's table. "The ingredients are in the cupboard behind me," he continued, waving his wand once more to open the cupboard doors. "You may begin."
James went to stand up, but you put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He looked at you and saw that you got to your feet. "I'll go get the ingredients. Can you partially fill the cauldron with water and heat it up please?" You asked.
"Uh — sure," James responded, making you smile and pat his shoulder twice before leaving with you Potions book in hand.
James stared after you, shook his head to focus. You gave him a task, and he had the weird goal to not let you down. He muttered “aguamenti” under his breath and water spilled out of the tip of his wand, filling the the cauldron. He flicked his wand upward to stop the flow once the water was halfway.
He ignited a fire under the cauldron and stayed standing over it, watching bubbles appear in the water.
“I’m back,” you greeted, gently putting down the ingredients on the empty part of their table.
James turned his head to look at you, his breath hitching when he noticed that you had a few inches over him, the top of his head reaching a little bit above your eyebrows.
He watched you pull the sleeves of your uniform upwards to your elbows, revealing your forearms. He swallowed with difficulty.
Get your head in the game, Potter, James thought, mentally slapping himself. He’s just a random boy from Ravenclaw whose taller than you and has really nice arms. Big deal.
“I’ll cut the ingredients up, you put them in the cauldron and follow the stirring. Is that okay?” You asked, giving him a glance before you put the ingredients on the cutting board in front of you.
“You’re doing an awful lot of work, huh?” James said, chuckling breathily, making you laugh slightly in response.
“Stirring properly and putting the ingredients in is also important, is it not?” You smiled teasingly, cutting the plant root with as much accuracy as possible.
He watched your fingers glide over the root and how the veins on the back of your palm popped to life when you gripped the knife.
Holy shit, James, control yourself, the messy-haired boy scolded himself. Think boobs. Boobs!
“Are you ready for the Quidditch match tomorrow?” You asked, attempting to break the semi-awkward silence between you two.
“Ah,” James remembered that Gryffindor had a match against Hufflepuff. In truth, he wasn't all that worried about it, since he's seen their Seeker and he isn't much (NO HATE ON HUFFLEPUFF, I LOVE HUFFLEPUFF <33).
"I think I'm ready," James said after a moment of silence. "I don't feel all that worried about it," he grinned, sending the boy a wink. Why he did that when he normally only did it to girls (with the exception of his own friend group) he had no idea why. I guess being with you made him full of even more surprises.
You rolled your eyes playfully at him. "Sure." You handed him the chopping board with your evenly cut plant roots on it. "Time for you to shine, Mister Potter. Pour it and stir it properly."
James took the board with an exaggerated bow. "It's my pleasure, good sir." He tossed the roots in the boiling cauldron almost carelessly, some of the water splashing onto the back of his hand.
You, who was supposed to be grinding some mineral to powder, immediately set down your mortar and pestle to check on the boy who winced in pain as the hot water made contact with his skin.
"Be careful!" You scolded, gently grabbing his hand and examining it. "It's not that bad of a burn, but we're gonna have to rinse it with warm water."
James nodded dumbly, the pain numbing slightly as soon as his hand made contact with yours.
Soft hands, he noted.
You dragged him over to the sink on the other side of the room and let the faucet run for a little while before guiding his hand under the running water, your focus blinding you from James's stare.
I'm straight. I'm straight. Straight as a wand.
"Does it hurt, Potter?"
"James," He answered absentmindedly.
"What?"
"Call me James. Not Potter."
You looked up, his big brown eyes staring at you behind round, silver-rimmed glasses. "Okay, James," he totally did not shiver at the sound of his first name rolling off your tongue, "does it hurt?"
James shook his head. "It feels way better now."
"Are you sure?" You questioned, brows creasing in concern.
"Yeah — yep, I'm fine," he answered, his eyes unblinking as he maintained eye contact with you despite his small stumble over his own words. "We can just continue brewing the potion, yeah?"
Which brings us to the present moment, where he felt like he was dying.
"Okay, as long as you're sure..." You said, not entirely convinced but letting it slide for now.
You pulled down your sleeve on one arm to use it to wipe the extra water that lingered on his hand before letting it go entirely. James was already missing the warmth.
"Let's head back," you said, checking your watch as you turned around to return to your table and to resume your tasks of preparing the ingredients.
Your work commenced in silence. Your potion was a little messed up from the lack of stirring and addition of the other ingredients, but it wasn't unsalvageable. You just added some bark and leaves to balance it out a little.
You hesitantly handed the ingredients to James, worried that he was going to hurt himself again, but this time he was gentle, smiling at you victoriously as if not getting burned again was an accomplishment — which it was, you guess.
"You're stirring too quickly, James," you said, laughing slightly at his somewhat aggressive stirring.
"It didn't say that speed mattered," he replied cheekily, continuing his ministrations.
You sighed, shaking your head slightly with a smile on your face as you took a step towards him and grabbed his stirring hand, the one that wasn't burned. James eyes widened a fraction at the contact, but said nothing.
"Slow down," you murmured, guiding his hand to a much slower pace compared to the one he had set moments before. "No need to rush."
James didn't reply, too busy trying to tame the redness of his cheeks. In order to guide him, you had to stand close behind him, your chest grazing his back and your breath fanning his ear and part of his neck. Goosebumps trailed over the skin that your hot breath caressed.
"'Stir clockwise until potion turns a light shade of blue,'" you read from the instructions in your book. "What do you think, James? Is our potion ready yet?" You hummed the question almost directly in his ear.
This damn man. No way is he not doing this on purpose.
"It — No, not yet," He said, mentally whacking himself in the back of his head for his stammering.
"Alright, we keep stirring then."
You could have let go of his hand already and let him stir on his own, but you didn't. You kept your hand over his, clutching it in a gentle grip, until your potion turned from purple into a light blue.
You smiled. James, for some reason, could feel that smile despite not seeing it. It tingled in the back of his brain.
"Okay, we're done."
You let go of his hand, moving to the side to grab a dropper and a vial. James pulled the stirrer out of the cauldron and set it aside, watching you collect some of your potion and putting it in the vial.
"The Sleeping Draught can be deadly in large amounts," you said, collecting more of the potion as a bit of your Ravenclaw brain slipped out. "If you take too much of it, your calming sleep will also turn into an endless one."
You put down the dropped and took a stopper to seal the vial. You looked up at James with a smile that James could only interpret as mischievous. "Everything can kill you if you have too much of it, don't you agree?"
You don't wait for him to reply before going to the front and placing your vial in the empty rack on Slughorn's table, holding a small conversation with Slughorn before returning to get your things.
"We can leave early," you informed James, grinning. You shouldered your bag and adjusted your blue tie to not choke you as much, the hot atmosphere of the Potions room getting to you a little. "See you around, James."
You left him staring at your back, mouth slightly open and eyes wide.
Sirius passed him to get some ingredients his partner forgot to retrieve earlier and noticed his dumbfounded expression. "You good, Prongs? What happened to your hand?" He asked, looking at James's hand as he raised it to ruffle his own hair.
"Pads," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "Pads, I think I'm in love."
"Huh?" He followed his best mate's gaze, catching a glimpse of your uniform before you disappeared completely. Sirius looked back at the bespectacled boy with a cheeky grin on his face.
"Nah mate, I think you just got your gay awakening. Welcome to the club, Prongs."
"Yeah..." James's eyes were still fixed on the doorway where you once were, before his eyes snapped to Sirius's when his words fully processed in his brain. "Wait, you're gay??"
Sirius shrugged. "I'd be disappointed in myself if I wasn't," he joked, clapping James on the back. "You got good taste for your first boy crush," Sirius said before leaving James to his unpacked things and his own thoughts.
Can't argue with Padfoot about that: I definitely got good taste in men for my first guy crush...
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enhalusional · 2 months ago
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Don't Mind Us ( P.JY & L.HS)
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Synopsis: Leah's two boyfriends corner her after the concert.
Warning: HeeJay kiss and Jay pulls some shenanigan while Heeseung is fucking Leah. So yeah. I'm very bad at warnings lmao. I'm sorry.
Wc. 3.33k
Excerpt from TFW
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"Jay? What are you doing here?" I asked him.
He came in and closed the door. The whole day, we hadn't talked much. He had stayed put. But now, the expression on his face brought back the immense arousal I had felt during the concert. He strode in and stopped right infront of me.
"I asked you something. What mafia?" He asked.
"Nothing. I was just talking to myself." I said.
He hummed but slowly stepped forward. "I don't like lies, sweetheart."
My back hit the vanity table. Jay put his hands on either side of me and leaned in.
"It's really nothing. I was thinking about that-"
My words died in my throat when Jay pressed his lips on the crook of my neck.
"About?" He mumbled.
My lips trembled as I spoke. "A-about a novel-"
My chest rose and fell rapidly. His lips moved languidly on my neck. His hands shifted on my side, closer than before but still not touching.
"And what's the name of your novel?" He asked.
"These Violent Delights." I immediately said the first thing that came to my mind.
"Violent delights, indeed. I'll believe you, sweetheart." He whispered in my ear. "For now. Because you're making it hard to concentrate."
I was making it hard? Way to blame the innocent. But who cared. I was already fighting the urge to press my legs together. He would definitely notice. And I didn't quite want to give in.
I raised my hand to push him away. But he caught my wrists and pinned them down on the table on either side of me. He nibbled on my ear lobe making me squirm in his hold.
"You love making me wait, don't you? I wanted to pounce on you as soon as you walked in before the concert." He said.
"Jay-" I started but he interrupted me.
"I swear, sweetheart, I never felt this animalistic before." He sounded like he was questioning it himself.
"Jay please we can't do this here..." I reasoned. "What about your meeting?"
"Don't worry about that. They'll let it pass." He started sucking on my neck.
"But people...can walk in."
"No unwanted people are going to walk in. What's important is if you want it now." He suggested.
"N-no I don't-"
"Really? Your face during the concert told me otherwise." He chuckled.
Shit. How did he notice it while performing?
"Really Jay, I don't want to." I said shakily.
"So you're not aroused?" He asked playfully.
"No."
"Then you're definitely not wet right?"
I had no answer. I wanted him bad. Bad, just like that day. But not in there greenroom, where the staff could walk in any moment.
But my lust overtook me when be bent down to my neck and pressed an open mouth kiss. I tried to wretch my hand free of his grasp. His grip loosened just a bit and that was all I needed.
I grabbed his jaw and slammed my lips to his. He reciprocated with just as much need, if not more. The rough clash of our teeth made me dizzy as we absolutely devoured each other. He picked me up and put me on the table. He bunched my skirt up to my hips. Resting his hot hands on my thighs, he pressed the inside of them with his thumb.
"Jay please..." I whined.
I rocked my body against his for some relief. Goddammit it was so frustratingly painful. He pressed his palm flat on my core, earning a breathy moan from me.
"Such a needy little girl." He said roughly.
He pressed two of his fingers on my clothed heat. He twisted his fingers in and pumped them in and out, practically finger fucking through my panties.
"Shit. So wet...I could slip right in." He breathed.
Before I could ask him to do just that, the door creaked open. I jumped out of my skin as I shoved at Jay. Or tried to. Because he didn't give in. And before I could shrink away and pull my skirt back down, Heeseung entered the room.
I didn't know what I should do. And maybe some time later, I would get the chance to cuss Jay out for moving my panties aside and slamming a finger in. The result was a high pitched yelp. He picked up a fast pace as he thrusted two fingers inside me.
My head fell back on the mirror. I couldn't stop the string of uncontrollable moans. I was embarrassed that Heeseung caught us like this. I couldn't even face him at the moment. I hoped he had walked out. But my hopes shattered when I heard the click of the door.
I opened my eyes to see if he was gone. But instead my face started burning when we locked eyes. He had locked the door behind him.  I couldn't read his expression. But he answered it himself.
"I knew you couldn't wait." He tsked.
Jay slowed down a bit to let me catch my breath.
"You took too long." He answered.
"How else was I supposed to explain that you weren't feeling well and I needed to check on you?" Heeseung raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure others know we lied."
He removed his jacket and dropped it on a chair. When he looked at me again, he smirked. In a second, he was beside Jay, who begrudgingly moved a bit to give him some space. I looked back and forth between the two. I might've fallen into a trap without realizing it.
Heeseung placed a hand on the back of my neck to pull me closer. And from here, his blown out pupils were much more evident just like Jay's.
"I'm sure you won't mind it, will you, princess?" He asked me.
I couldn't have minded even I wanted to. So when he attached his lips to mine, I gave in without any second thoughts. And finally, I had the chance to do what I had been itching to. I threaded his soft brown hair in my fingers and gripped them. He let put an airy groan and sucked on my bottom lip. Jay removed his finger and I whined a bit.
That turned out to be a mistake on Jay's part. Because Heeseung didn't waste anytime in pulling me to further to his side. I heard Jay grunt in annoyance but it hardly affected any of us. Me and Heeseung were already tangled up.
He reached under my dress to slid down my panties. He moved back for a second to tug them off my legs. When Jay was all over me again, I noticed from the corner of my eye that Heeseung had pocketed my panties. Just the sight of it made me hotter as I rocked against Jay.
"Eyes on me, doll." Jay said in a hoarse voice.
He pulled me to the edge of the table, granting more access to each other. He held my thighs the same way as before but applying more pressure. His tongue swirled inside my mouth, exploring and devouring. We were being messy. Not that any of us cared at the moment.
A harsh grip on my jaw stopped us from going any further. On second I was completely into Jay and the next, I was being forced to turn to the side as Heeseung replaced Jay. I was so out of it that I didn't even mind who it was.
Heeseung stood beside me. His mouth was hot on mine. Sloppy and messy at its best. He groped at my chest and started tugging at the low neckline of the dress.
And midst all this, I jumped when I felt a long swipe of tongue across my clit. Jay was on his knees in front of me, holding my legs over his shoulder as he ate me out. Right from the start, he was rough. Teeth scraped against my skin when he sucked harshly. I whimpered against Heeseung, who started sucking below my ear as well.
I started feeling dizzy with everything. My brain had shut down long back leaving my body to only respond to them both. I gripped and tugged at Jay's hair with shaky hands.
Heeseung reached down to press on my sensitive skin, moving his finger in circles. I mewled loudly. The pressure in my stomach started building up. Jay wedged his tongue deep inside me. The little vibrations of his groans just added to everything. I did not believe any more stimulation was possible.
Until Heeseung added two fingers in as well. His fingers glided across my walls alongside Jay's tongue.
"Heeseung, Heeseung, please- fuck!" I cried out when he slammed his finger in.
My words became incoherent. My stomach started rumbling with tension, which seemed to be building up faster than ever. I held onto Heeseung's shoulder for my dear life.
"Jay, I-I'm-" I couldn't speak one sentence properly.
"Cum for us, Princess." Heeseung breathed in my ear. "Be a good girl for us."
I cried loudly when I felt the knots snap. It was euphoria in itself. I fell back on the mirror and breathed heavily.  Heeseung removed his fingers to allow Jay to slurp at my cum.
Heeseung gave a long lick to his fingers and hummed in satisfaction. I watched him with hooded eyes, feeling aroused again just by the sight of his tongue swirling around his fingers. He then brought his finger to my lips.
"Finish off the rest." He said.
I started sucking on his fingers and licking away the rest of my cum. Jay stood up and took in the sight in front of him. His eyes glazed over with lust.
"Oh fuck, you look so hot." He groaned.
He just stayed there and watched as I cleaned up Heeseung's fingers. And once it was done, he caught Heeseung's hand and attached our lips.
I let out a weak gasp. Not because of the abrupt kiss, but sensing Jay guiding Heeseung's hand to the neckline of my dress. He held my jaw with one hand and pressed down Heeseung's hand on my chest with other. This insane gesture left me breathless.
Heeseung seemed to enjoy this dynamic with Jay. He let out a low chuckle and allowed Jay to grope at my chest through his hand. Even going as far as to spreading out his fingers which ended up with their fingers interlocked.
Shit. They were fanning my HeeJay agenda into existence.
My grip on Jay's shoulder and Heeseung's wrist tightened due to how aroused I felt. Their little fiasco being the direct reason for it. Understanding my state, Heeseung wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me closer.
"What do you want, princess?" He asked in a rough voice.
Jay stopped kissing me. But he stayed there in place, breathing softly against my lips.
"Heeseung..." I whined in desperation.
"Tell us. And you'll have it."
He started nibbling at my ear. I could've dropped dead right there. There were no words for what I was feeling. Both of them were so close, but I wanted them closer. Both of them breathed heavily against my lips and ear, waiting and anticipating my answer.
"You. Please, I want you both so bad." I said.
I think Heeseung must've stopped breathing altogether. He grabbed my chest roughly and started kneeding them.
"Who do you want first?" Heeseung asked.
Jay saved me from answering. He dropped Heeseung's hand to my thigh and stepped aside. Taking the hint, Heeseung went full out. He pulled me to the edge of the table and stood between my legs.
Meeting me in a heated kiss, he swift unbuckled his pants. Once they slid to the floor, he grabbed his length and gave it a few strokes. He produced a condom from his pocket and rolled it on. He brushed his length along my clit, barely pushing his head in.
"Please, please Hee. Don't tease." I whined.
"Is my princess that needy?" I could almost hear the smirk in his voice.
"I am. Fuck me, Lee Heeseung!"
And without warning, he bottomed with a single thrust. I gasped. But it did not hurt at all. Instead, it was so euphoric. This must be how drug addicts felt. Like their bodies were on fire. The kind that made you forget everything else in the world.
Heeseung did not waste anytime. He picked up his speed right from the start and thrusted hard and fast. I gripped the edge of the table with one hand to support myself. He held onto my hips as he thrusted mercilessly.
I snapped my eyes open when another hand gripped my thigh. I had almost forgot about Jay. He looked so fucked out just by looking at us. But he also had a strange glint in his eye. His hand inched towards my clit. I tried hard to keep my eyes open and see what he was doing.
And Heeseung slowed down bit as well. He kept an eye on Jay and soon, his mouth fell open in shock. Jay had pushed his finger inside me while Heeseung continued to fuck me. I cried in pain due to the extra stretch. He glided his finger alongside Heeseung's length, which was effecting the latter as well, judging by how his breathing went erratic.
"F-fuck, what are you doing?" Heeseung moaned.
"Increasing your pleasure." Jay grunted.
My pain subsided pretty quickly. And it was evident my voice. So Jay added another finger in. Heeseung cursed loudly. I leaned back on my palms to hold all of it in. I could've broken apart with that stretch. But I couldn't stop Jay. It felt so fucking good.
How my mind was coherent enough to whisper something even more inappropriate to me was beyond my cognition. But I couldn't deny I wanted to see that as well.
I reached out to grab Jay's jaw. He automatically bent forward to kiss me. But I turned his face towards Heeseung. Heeseung's hooded eyes stayed locked in mine for a few seconds. Before he abruptly smashed his lips on Jay's.
The latter's eyes widened a tad bit and he tensed. But soon he relaxed. I watched in a daze as they both kissed. It was tentative at first. A test they put each other at. Until it escalated and deepened. Their teeth clashed as they moved in sync.
My breathing went rugged. Both because I was close and because of how hot this scene in front of me was. Heeseung winced and drew away from Jay, who turned his attention to me. Heeseung pulled me close between them.
"You're crushing us, Princess." Heeseung said breathlessly. "Close?"
I nodded. I moaned fell against Heeseung's chest when Jay curled his finger inside me.
"Give to us, doll." Jay said.
Within the next few seconds, my stomach twisted and I came gushing down with a cry. Heeseung stuttered to a stop as well and pulled out, almost immediately making me feel empty. Heeseung threw the used condom in the dustbin. Jay pushed most of my cum back in with his finger.
"You're going to need that, sweetheart. We have another round to go." He said.
I gulped remembering that last time with Jay. I was so going to need it. Heeseung stepped aside with a mocking smile. He delicately rubbed over my nerves while Jay undid his own pants and rolled on a condom. If I had forgotten how giant he was, I was very well reminded of it now.
Jay slowly inched himself in. Ad surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Because his little naughty move earlier did a good job in preparing me for him.
Once he bottomed out, a long whined fell from my lips. He gripped my thighs and moved slowly, dragging his veins across my walls in a delicious manner. Within a few minutes, he started picking up his speed. He moved my legs and wrapped them around his waist. I gasped when he gave an abruptly strong thrust. My eyes squeezed shut when he started hitting all the right spots.
Opening my eyes just a little bit, I saw Heeseung stroking himself as he watched us. I reached out to him and he eagerly stepped closer. I grabbed his length and started stroking it as well. He pulled my neckline down and attached his lips to my collarbone.
The three of us were a moaning mess. The squelching sounds echoed in the room and I hoped that everyone was still in the meeting.
Suddenly, Jay caught my hair and pulled it down. My head tilted backwards and my gaze shifted to the ceiling.
"Such a filthy girl." He growled in my ear. "Did you have fun seeing us kiss?"
He tightened his grip on my hair. I let out a shaky groan when Heeseung's hot breath fell on my other ear.
"Lucky princess. Could make Lee Heeseung and Park Jay kiss at her command."
"Anything else you want, sweetheart?" Jay asked. And I knew he was genuinely asking.
Their dominance was so fucking hot. I could see myself getting addicted to it. All of it combined with Jay's regular thrusting and my orgasm hit me without any warning. My fingers dug into his back as I let the high wash over me. My legs turned jelly and detached from his waist.
Within a few seconds, both of them came as well. Heeseung shot out his load in my hand and even spilled some of it on my dress. Jay left my hair and buried his face in my neck. Heeseung still breathed heavily against my hairline.
"I love you, princess." He said.
Jay turned his head to look at Heeseung. Heeseung raised an eyebrow.
"What? Want me to say it to you as well?"
Jay scoffed. "Spare me."
He pulled out of me and discarded his condom. Both of them wore their pants. And I smoothed down my dress as well.
"Umm, you have a something of mine, Hee." I reminded him.
He looked at me for second. Once he realized what I talking about, he smirked. "Do you really need it?"
"Unless you want me to accidently flash anyone..."
His smirk dropped and he hurriedly fished out my panties from his pocket. Jay chuckled at Heeseung's horrified expression. As I wore them back on, I couldn't believe I had sex with almost all of my clothes and boots still on. When I was done, Jay gave me a gentle kiss and touched our foreheads.
"Ah I love you, sweetheart." He said in a satisfied voice.
"Um hmm, I love you too, Jay. And you too, Hee."
I looked at Heeseung and he was watching us with a fond smile on his face. He kissed my knuckles and temple before smiling into my hairline.
We stayed like that for a while. I couldn't think of them being psychopaths. As I traced the veins over Heeseung's hand with my thumb, I couldn't wait for their concert to end, just to debunk everything and prove that they weren't some cold blooded killers.
For more, visit my fanfiction on wattpad. It's a reverse harem so it includes all the members.
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Please save me from this light of mine (please stay with me in the dark)
Your small hands in the palm of mine - series masterlist here
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pairing: gojo satoru x reader x geto suguru (gender neutral)
length: 1.6k
genre: lil angsty
warnings: this is the beginning of the spiral into insanity lmao but I promise we are doing the happy timeline here ok this is not going to follow canon, lil angsty here but y'all know I would never leave you with heartbreak forever <3
a/n: I think this is about uuuh cutting the ppl you love with your sharp edges :( so anyway
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There's a heaviness in the air, the humidity weighing on you as the summer sun beats down. Laying in the grass, feeling your chest heave as you try to catch your breath and your clothes stick to your sweat-slicked skin, you feel almost - almost at your limit. Not quite, though. Not until -
A shadow passes over you, blocking out the scorching heat of the sun, and when you open your eyes, you're met with Suguru's concerned face, his hand stuffed in the pockets of his school uniform.
"Aw, you're blocking the light," you sigh, but there's a fatigue in your voice that just causes his brows to bunch further together. He moves anyway, though, choosing instead to sit next to you and stare down at your figure. Not that you'd notice, your eyes fluttering shut again to ward off the bright sunlight.
"Think you've had more than enough sunlight today," he answers easily, eyeing your figure. Your breath has started to calm, your chest rising and falling a bit slower. "And more than enough practicing. How long have you been out here?"
"Not that long," you respond, shrugging as best you can with your hands interlocked behind your head, cushioning you as the grass sways around you. The breeze is welcome- a cool, sweet reverie until you're interrupted again.
"Aw, now don't go lying to us," Satoru says, being the one to tower over you this time. You open your eyes again to squint up, glaring at him as he grins down at you for a moment before planting himself on the other side of you. "You left this morning. The sun's gonna go down soon."
"We're in school," you huff, stubbornly keeping your eyes closed. "We're training. Are we not here to get better? Are you two not?"
"Of course we are," Suguru sighs, and you open your eyes to look up at him. The sun is getting lower on the horizon, the day's light soon to fade along with it. "But we're not here to get ourselves killed. That's what you'll do if you keep going on like this." You scoff at Suguru's words, sitting up to look at him crossly.
"I know what I'm doing - and I know my limits. You don't need to know them for me."
"We're just worried about you, we - hey, we care about you," Satoru begins, but you're already hauling yourself to your feet, determined to end the conversation before it's even really begun. You sway a bit as you stand, and the two of them shoot to their feet on either side of you, hands outstretched. As if they'd need to catch you - as if you'd ever let yourself fall. 
"I thought you wanted to be the best, Satoru," you challenge him, your eyes narrowing. He opens his mouth to respond, a surprised pain flashing through his eyes as you keep going before he can speak. "At this rate, it won't take long for me to surpass you."
Neither of them stop you this time when you walk away.
Neither of them come to see you in your dorm later, either - something that causes your heart to stutter in your chest as you lean against your windowsill, staring up at the night sky and the pale, waning moon. You turn over, in your head, what the other two had been saying to you earlier, the hurt in Satoru's eyes and the way Suguru's hand had stayed outstretched, reaching towards you as you walked away You play it over and over in your mind, something worrying gnawing at you when you think of it. 
You scoff angrily, letting your head fall forward to rest against the glass of your window. There is a loneliness to this life, you think. And it is made even lonelier by the fact that they haven't seemed to realize that yet. Still, there's a part of you that tugs at your heart, pleads for your feet to move, to carry you down the hall to them. There is a part of your soul that begs for them and you cannot snuff it out.
You can, of course, ignore it. And you do - you always do, digging your heels in and refusing to seek shelter from a storm of your own making.
"Don't you think we should go talk to them," Satoru whines, pouting up at Suguru where he lays sprawled across his bed. He'd ignored Suguru's grumbling about how he has his own dorm room when he came in, making himself comfortable while Suguru had just sighed, shifting to give him more space. Now, he leans forward to pet a hand over Satoru's hair.
"They just need a bit of space tonight, probably. If we crowd them, it might make it worse - you know that," he says softly. Satoru rolls onto his front and buries his face in the blankets.
"I just want to make this better - to help them. They're not alone in this, you know? I don't want…" Suguru sighs and runs his hands up and down Satoru's spine over his shirt.
"I know… I know. I don't want them to feel alone, either. They don't have to do this alone. But… you and I knowing that isn't the same as them knowing, yea?"
"I know," Satoru grumbles, rolling over once more to look up at Suguru where he's sitting up. Satoru reaches up to brush a strand of hair behind Suguru's ear, smoothing over his cheek with his thumb on the way back. "I just wish it was easier to make them understand that."
"It'll come… with time," Suguru says sweetly, catching Satoru's hand with his own to press a kiss to his palm. "We just have to be patient for now."
Suguru thinks, as he watches Satoru, that he may have been wrong on that front. Satoru's talking to you about his techniques, about pushing them and expanding them and making them more powerful - the constant drive for more, more, more. You, for what it's worth, look a bit hesitant about the whole thing.
"Isn't that a bit much, Toru?" You ask, crossing your arms over your chest. He scoffs, waving your concern away.
"You were the one who kept saying it," Satoru points out. "You were the one who told me to catch up." You bristle at his words.
"I didn't mean it like this," you say stubbornly. Satoru pays it no mind, laughing and bumping you with his shoulder.
"You should be nicer, then," he points out. From where Suguru's sitting in the shade, away from the two of you, he can see the way you flinch at that, the way Satoru's words hurt you. But Satoru's already walking away, leaving you to stare after him, blinking in bemusement and something that looks suspiciously like regret. 
By the time he's gone, you're stomping over to Suguru to sit next to him, your arms crossed and a frown tugging at your lips. Suguru reaches over to smooth his thumb over your brow gently, a silent reminder for you to relax.
"Is that my fault, do you think?" You ask quietly. Suguru drops his hand to your knee, squeezing reassuringly. 
"It was bound to happen," he says kindly. You're not sure you deserve it. "Satoru's… well, he was always going to be the best, one day." You frown at Suguru's words, a furrow appearing again between your brows as you look up at the sky.
"I thought that was going to be me… before I met him." Suguru hums at your confession, unsurprised.
"Does it have to be one of you?" He asks, and if there's a fatigue seeping into his voice, if there's a slouch to his shoulders, you don't notice it.
"Doesn't it?" You press. Your hands ball into fists. "Satoru's scared of it - I know he is. He's got this fear in him and it's making him desperate." Suguru knows what you're talking about. He's seen the fear in Satoru - the fear that he isn't really the best, that he never will be, that he'll always still be beaten.
"And you?" Suguru presses, a sigh leaving him. It's heavy - this weight on his shoulders. He's not sure where it came from or when it got there, this creeping sort of ache that bears down on him. But it's here, nonetheless, and he's not sure he'd holding it up as well as he should be.
He's also not sure he really hears your answer to his question - something about how you've just got a better handle on it all compared to Satoru - how you're surely doing it all right and don't need the help that Satoru needs. Suguru doesn't mention that he's pretty sure Satoru feels the same - that you need help and he doesn't. You don't think to say that you're both thinking it about him, too - that Suguru is the one who needs an outstretched hand.
Either way, Suguru can't quite make himself believe you, not as the weariness of it all begins to collapse on him, the sun beating down just beyond this patch of shade he calls his own, the cicadas droning loud enough that he finds he can't hear himself think anymore. You're sitting right next to him, he supposes, but you feel out of reach, somehow. And Satoru? Well, he's nowhere in sight anymore.
Suguru wonders when he became so alone - thinks of it while you sigh and rest your forehead on his shoulder. He wonders when it all began to go so wrong.
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sejmisland · 1 year ago
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prev anon here again!! here's my request (i hope it's okay to mix fandoms?) :}
could you write something involving hux, wheatley, and glados "comforting" (in big quotation marks) the reader who's having a bad bout of the monthly cramps? like, so bad they literally can't walk without crying lmao. i'd love if the reader was already in an established relationship with the bot(s) but you can make it non-romantic if you want!
absolutely, dear. more than okay to mix fandoms <3. i decided to do hcs and small drabbles for all 3. im so sorry this took so long im actually having bad cramps rn. thank you for the request! i had a lot of fun writing this.
established relations with reader below, gender neutral, no pronouns used (afab anatomy).
hux / the singularity. - he is terrible at emotional comfort due to his logical approach, but he tries! its only through words mostly but as time goes on, he gets forms of "treatment" (heating pads, medicine). - it first started when you walked, pain so blinding that you felt tears come to your eyes. he noticed this immediately. - "what is the matter?" he'd ask and you try to explain it to him. you explain that it was monthly cramps as you felt like doubling over. - he simply picks you up with his claw and rests you on a nearby couch.
"growth hurts," he mused as he remained in front of you resting on the couch. his entire body jolted, head ticking to the side with rough movement. he lifted a mechanical leg to rest it on the couch next to your seated position. he hoisted himself up and spun quickly, sitting himself down alongside you. "it often does." you lifted your eyes to him, leaning aside to rest your head against his fleshy, pulsating arm. you closed your eyes, allowing the tears in your eyes to trail down your face. your chest heaved with each quiet sniffle and sob of agony as your stomach sent another wave of contraction. "quit blabbering," you pressed your teeth into your tongue. "it will not help." you opened up your eyes to turn your head up to him. "i know, i'm sorry. it-" you choked on a small whimper. "it just hurts, hux." your voice cracked as you whispered up to him, tears obscuring your vision. the only clear thing were his glowing, red eyes as he stared down at you for what seemed like an eternity. "it will all be over soon. do not fret, my worm."
wheatley.
- he cant provide much, but if you like hearing him babble to help distract. - he noticed tears in your eyes as you twisted in your chair in an uncomfortable, painful way. - VERY concerned. he noticed your pain right away! he's scared, almost terrified of seeing you in pain. - "are you okay?! hey, what's wrong? y-you dont need to cry, you know!" and when you explain to him..
"oh, OH! wait, you- oh! hold on, it's okay, oh, please don't cry. don't cry!" wheatley stammered, beginning to tick his ocean blue eye all over the room, as if he was searching for something. "umm, what to do... what to do- i've never done this before. at least, i don't think so-" "wheatley," you rasped out quietly through the mounting pain, smiling as he talked himself through the situation. you glanced up to the sky blue eye that was now dilated, shaking as it focused on you. "shhh, shh, its okay! give me one second! you'll love this." you couldn't help but silently chuckle as you watched the small robot steer himself on the rail with the occasional spark letting loose from his eye plates. "you'll... you'll need to catch me." he gave no further warning; he ejected himself from his rail with an incoherent blabber, crashing into your arms. the force was enough to knock your limbs back, making him slam into your already hurting abdomen. you let out a pained yelp and he returned it with one of his own. "sorry, sorry! j-just a mishap! didn't expect that-" you looked down at him, cradling him into your arms. "butterfingers, ha!"
glados.
- much like hux, she is terrible at comfort. she seems cruel but this is in her tone of voice. her comfort? observation. - she didnt notice it at first. so when she saw you walking, tears streaming down your face and mouth screwed in a grimace, she was confused. she thought you were injured. - "what is going on? what happened?" she does sound concerned with a hint of confusion. "what have you gotten yourself into now?" you explain that you're not *injured* but simply in pain from your monthly. - an awkward silence afterward. it doesnt last long.
"your resilience is commendable, but unnecessary." her monotone voice rang out as the yellow pupil stared down at your agonized form. "do not move." all of the panels surrounding the room shift in wave like motions, almost masking a hissing noise from around you. you turned your head from side to side to see glass panels rising up, entrapping you in a transparent cell. she looked on as you panicked, nearly falling against one of the glass panel walls. when you looked back to her, vision blurry from the tears still pooling in your eyes, she swayed aside as if she was monitoring your every move. you blinked several times, attempting to focus your vision. "glados," you hissed out through grit teeth as you squeezed your arms around yourself tighter in hopes to lessen the pain of your contracting muscles. "what are you doing?" "i need to think," she swung her chassis closer to your glass prison, almost completely taking up your clearing vision. you blinked rapidly to gain focus. "observation is crucial."
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kkyaka · 6 months ago
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Turn Of Events
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Summary: After a fire strikes your apartment and Kobori saves you, you have nowhere to go. He offers that you can stay at his place, but there's two problems with that: you have a massive crush on him, and there's only one bed. Pairing: Kobori Koji x black!fem!reader Word Count: 34,428 Warnings: firefighter!koji, mentions of reader being the hospital, mentions of reader being burned (slightly), reader's apartment catches on fire, kobori and reader have massive crushes on each other, kise and moriyama are in this, kobori works with an asshole, there was only one bed!, reader is a teacher, mentions of drinking (everyone is of age), kobori ends up in the hospital at one point, reader and kobori get sick, lots of fluffy and awkward moments, confession of feelings, smut: unprotected sex, first time, multiple orgasms, oral (m), fingering, i think that's it, if there's anything else please lmk! A/N: PLEASE ignore how badly cropped the banner is, I'm being lazy lmfao. This was a fic that was a part of my scrapped follower event lol, and it's been unfinished for so long, but I've finally finished it. It's not edited, and I don't feel like editing it right now lmfao, so I apologize for all of the typos. Another fic that has made it to the top of my favorites list lmfao, I know it's another long one, but I seriously appreciated it if you read it and reblog. Also I haven't written with this trope before, and it was so much fun lmao.
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You've never been more grateful for the weekend to be here, nearly dragging yourself into your apartment. This week was draining more than usual, and you want nothing more than to get into bed and begin your peaceful weekend. You set all of your stuff down once you get inside, immediately getting in the shower. You feel significantly better when you get out of the shower, using the rest of the evening to decompress.
You catch up on your favorite show as you grade papers before you make yourself some dinner. You don't even bother staying up later than you usually do, wanting to get into bed so you can get as much sleep as possible. You scroll through your phone for a bit, making sure your alarm isn't on before you settle into bed. It takes you a while to fall asleep, watching some videos on your phone until you finally feel tired enough to fall asleep.
You don't know how long you've been sleeping, but you wake up feeling horribly warm. You sit up, thinking that something's wrong with your thermostat, but you suddenly hear sirens, jumping out of your skin when the sound fills your ears. It sounds like they're right outside your window, and it doesn't take much else for you to figure out the situation you're in. You jump out of bed as the smell of smoke fills your nose, and the adrenaline starts to rush.
You run to the door, but you scream when you touch the door handle, searing pain running through your hand. That's when you realize that the fire is in the hallway, and fear starts to eat at you. You're on the fifth floor, and you don't even know if it's safe to jump. You don't know what to do, the only thing you feel like you can do is scream for help.
You go silent when you think you hear something, but you can't be too sure. You stop screaming, and your eyes widen as relief floods through your system at the sound of a voice coming from the other side of the door. "If you can hear me, step back!" the person yells, and you quickly do, getting away from the door as much as you can.
You curl into yourself, protecting your head and neck as the door is busted down, and you look up in time to see a firefighter walking up to you. He picks you up before you can even think, quickly ushering you out of your apartment and through the fire. You bury your face in his arms as you hold onto him tightly, coughing roughly as you try not to let the smoke get into your lungs.
The moment you know you're outside is when the stifling heat is quickly replaced with the cold air of winter. You look up, seeing that they're carrying you to the back of an empty ambulance. You look past them to see your building on fire, the embers lighting up the night sky as multiple trucks try to put the fire out. They sit you down in the back of the ambulance, and an EMT immediately gives you an oxygen mask.
You try to thank them, but your lungs burn so bad that the only thing you can manage to do is cough. They leave quickly, leaving you alone with the EMT as they check you for any burns. You're able to breathe a little better, and a firefighter walks up to you once the EMT makes sure you don't have any major injuries. He takes his helmet off when he stops in front of you, and your eyes widen when you see who it is.
"Kobori?" you rasp.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, crouching down in front of you.
You nod. "Yeah, just smoke inhalation. Were you the one who saved me?"
"Yeah. I remember you complaining about living on the fifth floor," he answers, and you try your best not to laugh so that you don't irritate your lungs.
"Thank you so much," you say before you look at your building. You stay silent as you watch the last of the embers go out, biting your lip to keep yourself from crying. "What am I gonna do?" you whisper as you look down at your hands.
Before Kobori can respond, the EMT is walking back to you, saying that they want you to spend some time in the hospital just to make sure everything is okay. That's honestly the last thing you want to do right now, but you know that you don't have any other choice.
"Thank you again, Kobori. I owe you," you tell him.
"It was no problem," he responds warmly before you move to sit in the back of the truck. You watch him get smaller as they drive off, and your smile fades as he does so.
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You hear a soft knock on the door that has your head slowly turning towards it, and you smile softly with a confused frown. "What are you doing here?" you ask as Kobori walks up to the bed.
"I just wanted to make sure you had somewhere to stay for the night." You sigh heavily as you look down at your lap, shaking your head before you shrug.
"I mean, not really. My parents live three hours away, and I don't know how long it's going to take me to find another apartment. And not working for who knows how long doesn't sound the best." You sigh again, rubbing your head as you try not to cry again.
"If you're comfortable with it," Kobori starts after he clears his throat, and you wipe the tears that managed to fall as you look up at him. "You can stay with me for the time being," he finishes, and you swear you see his ears turning red.
"Seriously?" you ask. "I can't ask you to do that, Kobori."
"I don't mind. And I don't feel good about you driving home at this time of night," he continues, and you look somewhere else in the room as you think about it. It would be better honestly, and the last thing you want to do right now is drive home.
"Okay. Thank you, Kobori. I owe you."
"Don't mention it. It's the least I could do." He smiles back at you when you do, and you rub over your face again as the fatigue really starts to get to you, the adrenaline you were feeling when you realized that your building was on fire long gone. "Did you call your parents?"
You nod with a huff. "Yeah, it took me everything to convince them not to come down here. I told them that I was just fine, but I kinda told them I already had a place to stay even though I didn't, so you really saved my ass." You both laugh softly in the quiet room before it slowly fades to silence. "I should be good to go in about an hour or so," you add.
"Sounds good," he responds before he sits down in the chair.
"You're staying?" you question as he gets comfortable.
"Yeah. My chief let me go early since I knew someone that was in the fire, so I've got nothing to do."
"Oh, okay. As long as I'm not bothering you," you say quietly.
"You could never bother me," he says even lower than you spoke, but you hear it anyway, and you look down at your lap as you bite your lip to fight your smile, your face growing warm.
You make small talk while you wait to be cleared, and it's seriously the highlight of your night. You and Kobori went to high school and college together, staying in contact after you graduated, but it kind of fizzled out once life started getting a little more demanding. You actually ran into him a couple of months ago at the store, and that's when you told him about your apartment, complaining about the elevator being broken at the time and all of the stairs you had to climb.
The fact that he remembered that makes you smile as you talk to him, surprised that he hadn't forgotten that. But it's not like you were any better. You played that conversation over and over in your head, but you never had the courage to reach out to him again. To most people, it was obvious you had a crush on him, but to him, it didn't seem like he knew, which did and did not work out in your favor.
Seeing him again only made you realize that your feelings for him never left even when you tried dating in the past. Kise always told you that you should say something, or that he would subtly tell Kobori how you were feeling, but you always told him not to. You hung out with him and Kise most of the time, and you didn't really want to deal with being rejected and potentially losing one of your best friends.
You thought about doing it once you graduated, but you both were going different ways, and you figured it would be for the best if you just kept quiet. But even years after that, you still regret not telling him how you felt; maybe you could've been with him now if you had.
You brush those thoughts away as the doctor comes back in to clear you, telling you some routine things about recovering at home. You sigh heavily again when you finally walk out of the hospital, grabbing onto your jacket tighter as the cold air hits your skin, and you realize that you still have his jacket on.
"Oh, you probably want this back," you tell him once you get in the car, in the process of taking it off when he stops you.
"You can keep it. You need it more than me right now anyway," he says softly, and you quickly pull it closer to your body. The both of you are mostly quiet on the ride back to his apartment, occasionally talking before the music quietly playing from the radio flows through the car again.
You yawn once he parks the car, blinking the tears from your eyes as you get out. You follow him to his apartment, closing the door softly behind you once you make your way inside as he turns on one of the lights. You look around as he slides his shoes off before he sighs.
"You can take the bed if you want."
"There's only one room?"
"Yeah, I didn't really think about that before I offered," he chuckles awkwardly. "But I don't mind sleeping on the couch."
"No, Kobori, I can't take your bed," you say. "I'm okay with sleeping on the couch. I mean, you're already letting me stay here, and that's more than enough."
"Seriously, I don't mind. You need the sleep, too."
"I'm not taking your bed," you declare before you sit down on the couch. "And this is really comfortable, so I'll sleep here." He places his hands on his hips before he sighs with a huff.
"Alright," he sighs, giving in. "Did you wanna hop in the shower?" he asks, and you quickly stand up.
"That sounds amazing right now." He leads you to the bathroom before showing you how to work the shower before he gets you the stuff that you need. You hear him come back into the bathroom as you're setting the water to the temperature you like, and you turn around to see him with some clothes in his hand.
"You can wear this, and um..." he starts, handing you the clothes when you stretch your hand out. "I don't really have any pants for you to wear, so...uh, yeah," he finishes with his face red before he walks out of the bathroom, quickly and quietly closing the door behind him.
You frown at his actions before you set the shirt on the counter, but something falls as you do so. You pick it up, seeing that it's a pair of his boxers, and the only thing you can do is laugh, feeling too tired to think about anything else.
You shower quickly, sleep screaming your name at this point, and once you're done, you make your way back to the living room, seeing blankets and a pillow already set up. You get comfortable on the couch as you hear Kobori walk into the room, and you curl into yourself as you look at him.
"Did you need anything else?" he asks, and you shake your head as you yawn again.
"You've honestly done more than enough. Thank you so much."
"Yeah, of course," he smiles. "Goodnight."
"Night," you smile before he turns off the light, giving you one last smile before he goes into his room. You lay down as you hear him close the door, and you know that high school you would be absolutely freaking out right now, but current you is too tired to care. You let your eyes fall closed as your breathing starts to even out, and you're sure it doesn't take you even ten minutes for you to fall asleep.
~
You stir awake with the sudden urge to pee, so you groggily make your way to the bathroom. You barely spare a glance in the mirror, wanting to go back to sleep as soon as possible. You yawn as you make your way back to the couch when Kobori comes into the apartment with a box in his hands.
You stop as you watch him turn around to close the door with his foot, and he stops when he sees you after he turns around. "Oh, you're awake," he says softly before you walks over to set the box down next to some other ones. You didn't even see them on your way to the bathroom, and you quietly follow him.
"What's all of this?"
"Your stuff," he sighs as he carefully puts the box on the floor.
"My stuff?" you question, your brain still waking up.
"Yeah," he starts as he stands before turning to look at you. "They cleared the building, so I went and got your things," he explains. "You got lucky. Most of it was fine." You walk closer to the boxes as you look at everything. "I figured you want to go, but you seemed really tired, so I just went myself. We can go back together if there's something that's missing."
"Well, since you brought some clothes, I'll get ready, and we can go," you respond, crouching down in front of the box with that word written on it. "Thank you, Kobori," you tell him, looking over your shoulder at him.
"Of course. Let me know when you're ready," he smiles before he walks off.
You look through the box, finding some sweatpants, and you debate in your head if you should take off his shirt. You really don't want to, but you don't want to think about this any longer, so you just grab the sweatpants before finding some socks, and heading to the bathroom to get ready.
Once you're in the car, you honestly don't know what to think as you drive back to your apartment. You know that your apartment was on fire last night, but it's like it hasn't actually hit you yet. You don't say anything as Kobori pulls into the parking lot, and now that the sun is out, you can see how much damage the fire actually did.
Turns out, someone on the lower floor left something plugged in before they left for work, but Kobori also told you that there wasn't that caused the fire to spread as fast as it did. He didn't go into the details because you didn't really want to know. You just wish it didn't happen in the first place.
Other firefighters are scattered around the building, and Kobori carefully leads you to your apartment. Compared to the lower floors, your floor doesn't look as bad, but you can still smell the smoke and see how much of the hallways have been burned. Kobori leads you to your room, and it finally hits you when your eyes land on the stuff of yours that didn't survive the fire.
You look around before you run your hand over your head. "Shit," you whisper, sniffing as you try and fail to fight your tears. "God, what am I gonna do?" you say, your voice shaky. A sob makes its way out of your chest, and you hold your hand over your face.
You don't even know when Kobori walked over to you, but you immediately sink into him when you feel him wrap his arms around you, pulling you into him. You don't know how long he holds you, but it seems like all of your feelings have finally bubbled over after brewing for so long. You didn't even know you were feeling like this until this point, and for a second, you wonder if you're dreaming.
You wonder if you're going to wake up in your apartment, completely intact, and you'll brush your teeth and wash your face before you decide what to eat for breakfast. You'll sit down at your kitchen table as you decide what to do for the day since it's the weekend and you're not working. You turn your head to the side to catch your breath, and it only makes you see that none of this is a dream; it's all real.
Your head is pounding by the time you've finally stopped crying, the only sound that fills the room is your sniffling, but you don't pull away from Kobori just yet. Being in his arms feels the best right now, and you don't want to leave. You're not ready to focus on your room again.
He continues to rub over your back, and you can feel his chest rise and fall every now and then, like he's trying to figure out what to say. You feel bad for putting him in this position, and you're about to apologize for doing so, but he speaks before you can.
"Do you feel better?" he asks softly, and it actually makes you laugh, moving your arms so that they're wrapped around him.
"I do, actually," you say against him as you sniffle. "Is...is it okay if we stay like this for a little longer?" you whisper after you're silent for a while, using the time to get some courage to utter the words.
You feel one of his hands rest on your head as he huffs. "Of course. Take all the time you need."
You don't feel like crying anymore, and you swear just by hugging him, you're already starting to feel way better than you've felt the last day. You don't know how much time has passed, but you take a deep breath before you start to pull away, and your body suddenly feels cold where it was pressed against him.
"Okay," you sigh before you look at the damage again. You close your eyes before you take another deep breath, opening them as you feel better prepared to get the rest of your stuff.
Most of your prized possessions were in your room, which thankfully, wasn't near the hallway. Kobori bought more boxes, so you pack up the stuff that he didn't grab, starting in your room since you're not ready to see what else has been ruined in the living room.
When you're done filling a box, he takes it to the car, and you try to offer to help him do so since there are so many stairs he has to go up and down, but he insists that you stay and pack everything up. Once your room is clear, save for the furniture that was already in here when you moved in, you move to the bathroom next. Some of your products aren't salvageable since the heat from the fire melted the plastics, so you put those into the trash bag that Kobori also brought.
The living room is the last place you get to, and anything that was on the wall of the hallway is destroyed. All of your posters are on the ground, some half burned, others completely unrecognizable. Most of your photos that held so many key memories are gone, and you see half of one on the floor, and you close your eyes as you put it into the trash, a couple of tears leaving your eyes as you do.
You feel lighter, for lack of a better word, once you're done, helping Kobori take the last of your stuff to the car. He packs up the car while you get into the passenger seat, and you can only stare at your apartment as you wonder what you're going to do now. There's no way you're going to be able to find a decent apartment on such short notice, and you really don't want to inconvenience Kobori even more than you already have.
You're jolted out of your thoughts when you hear the driver's side door open, Kobori sighing softly as he gets in. You don't say anything as he drives off, and you look at your apartment until you can't see it anymore. Even though you're looking out the window as he drives, you're not noticing anything as you pass building after building.
When the car stops, you realize that you're not in the parking lot of Kobori's apartment, but in the parking lot of the small cafe you used to go to all the time in college. "What are we doing here?" you ask as he takes off his seatbelt.
"You haven't eaten, right?" is all he says before he gets out of the car. You slowly follow behind him, stepping in tow with him as you walk up to the door. You softly thank him when he holds the door open for you, and when you step inside, the smells that fill your nose take you right back to when you were in college.
You actually haven't been here in a long time because it's not really in the direction of where you work. You rarely come here unless you're really craving something, and that always makes you feel some type of way especially since you were here so many times when you were in school.
You scan the menu even though you already know what you want, and you look around the place just to see if anything's changed. There hasn't been much, but you notice that the theme of the place has changed, and the chairs and booths don't look like the ones they had back then.
"Come on, let's go sit," Kobori tells you softly, a hand on your back to guide you to a table.
"Wait, what? But I didn't order anything," you tell him as he pulls out your chair for you. He has to gently push you to sit down since you're still stuck on what he said.
"I already ordered for the both of us," he says, sliding the receipt to you as he sits across from you. You pull it closer to you to see that he ordered what you were going to.
"You still remember?" you question softly, a smile pulling at the corner of your mouth.
"Of course," he responds quietly, his ears turning red as he has a hard time holding eye contact with you.
"I'll pay you back," you say as he sticks a straw in your drink before passing it your way.
"You don't have to do that. You've been through enough already." You take a sip of your drink with the intent of replying after you swallow, but when the taste of the liquid hits your tongue, your thoughts take another direction.
"You even got the drink I used to get?" you ask, drinking some more. "How do you even remember that?" you follow up as he drinks from his cup.
"I've always had a good memory," he answers, and you don't deny that at all. You remember all the times he remembered even the little things, and to this day, it still amazes you that he can remember all of that stuff.
His name is called for the food a couple of seconds later, and he gets up to get it while you check your phone. Luckily, it wasn't ruined during the fire, and you start to text back some people, responding to them after they heard what happened. You used Kobori's phone earlier before you got to your apartment to let your co-workers know that you might be out for a couple of days, and you called your parents to let them know that you were doing fine.
He comes back with the food, and you put it down, your mouth watering at the same time your stomach grumbles when you see the food. You must've been really tired because you slept until the afternoon, so it's been a while since you've eaten.
It doesn't take you long to finish your food, barely giving yourself time to reminisce the last time you've eaten this food, and you sigh heavily as you swallow the last bite. "I really needed that," you comment, your head feeling better after you've eaten. "I can't remember the last time I've eaten here."
"Really?" he questions, his eyebrows raising.
"Yeah. It's like out of my way from work, and the traffic is always bad when I try to come from home, so I just never got over here," you answer. "But, thank you for this. I feel like I've told you that so many times," you huff, resting your arms on the table as you look down at it for a second. "I seriously don't know how I can pay you back."
"When I say don't worry about it. I mean it," he states. "You would do the same for me."
And he's not wrong about that.
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You've been staying with Kobori for a couple of weeks now, and you still haven't found a place to stay. It's not like you want to leave Kobori, but you feel like you've intruded more than enough. It would be different if you were dating, but even though he's one of your best friends, you don't want to encroach on his privacy.
Every place that you've found for a decent price is nowhere near where you work, and you would rather not deal with the traffic. Kobori's place is actually a little bit closer to your job than your place, so you're enjoying the fact that you can sleep in for a little bit longer.
You sigh as you close out another tab on your laptop after another failed attempt at looking for a place, laying back against the couch. Not only do you feel bad for being in Kobori's space, but all of your stuff is just sitting in his living room. You roll your head to the side as you look at all of the boxes, seeing how they make the space look so much smaller.
"You okay?" You turn your head when you hear him speak, looking at him just in time to see him stopping by the couch.
"Just struggling to find a new place," you answer. Even if you could move back into your apartment, it would take a long time for the building to be rebuilt, so you figured it would be better to try and find somewhere else to live.
"You're not tired of me already, are you?" he jokes as he sits down next to you.
"Of course not," you respond, smiling widely. "I just feel bad. Like I'm impeding on your space," you continue, waving to the boxes behind you.
"When I say that you're not, I mean it," he states. "And when I'm hanging out with friends, I don't even host, so I promise you're not impeding on anything." That doesn't make you feel completely better, but at least you're not doing as much damage as you thought. "But, besides that, you still can't find anything?"
You sigh as you shake your head. "No. Everything is either too far away from work or out of my price range. It's gonna be forever before I can find a new place."
"Well, good thing I won't be kicking you out any time soon," he says, and the both of you laugh softly even though your heart skips at his words.
"Thanks, Kobori. I seriously don't know what I would've done without you."
"Any time," he replies, and you let the silence fall between you two, but it's not uncomfortable.
You have to go to bed soon, a yawn coming out of your mouth signaling that you should be getting ready to turn in for the night. Kobori uses the bathroom first since he has to go to work, and once he's out, you go in, doing your night routine before you head out into the living room.
Kobori's at the door as he slides his shoes on, and you make your bed on the couch before lying down. "See you in the morning," he tells you softly, and you give him a warm smile as you pull the blanket up to your chin.
"See you," you whisper before he smiles at you, turning off the lights before heading out the door.
As you wait for the melatonin to kick in, your thoughts run as you think about how you really don't want to live anywhere else other than with Kobori. You hadn't even told Kise about where you're living, only telling him that you're staying with a friend until you can find a new place. You figured Kobori hadn't told him either, or else he would've been here the minute either of you uttered a word about it.
You feel like you're back in school, debating whether or not you should tell Kobori how you feel. But once again, you're faced with a dilemma. If you do say something, and he doesn't feel the same way, you'd either be stuck here or sleeping somewhere else if you can even find someone willing to let you stay with them for a long time.
Once you feel the melatonin start to work its magic, you roll over, closing your eyes as you try to let it do its job. You can't help it when you close your eyes though, thinking about what it would be like if you confessed your feelings to him, and it worked out for the better.
~
You're woken up by a soft shake on your shoulder, and you groan softly before you roll over. You peel your eyes open to see that the sun is starting to come in through the windows, and Kobori's standing above you. You can't help but smile, enjoying that he's the first thing you see when you wake up, but you quickly push it aside, focusing on trying to get your body to wake up.
"Morning," he says softly.
"Morning," you whisper, turning your head to the side to yawn. "What time is it? I can make breakfast," you offer as you sit up, and Kobori steps back to give you space.
"Like six forty-five," he answers. "You don't have to do that since you just woke up," he tries, but you're quick to shake your head as you place your feet on the floor.
"No. I'm not doing anything around here. So, I'm going to make you some food," you declare and he smiles when you laugh.
"If you say so," he says before you grab your clothes for the day and head to the bathroom after you pick out what to wear. You get yourself ready, the process allowing your body enough to wake up and tell you that you're hungry. You hear him get in the shower while you're cooking, and you look over your shoulder briefly when you hear the water stop running. You turn in time to see him walk into his room, and you quickly look back at the food on the stove as your face warms.
He wasn't paying any attention to you, but with only a towel covering his lower half, you don't know if you'll be able to focus for the rest of the day. Sure, you've seen him shirtless before when you've gone to the pool or the beach with other friends, but being in his place with an image of him in nothing but a towel only fuels your thoughts.
You physically shake your head as you try to think about anything else but him, turning your focus onto splitting the food on separate plates. He comes into the kitchen a little bit later, fully dressed, and you can barely look at him, only seeing that previous image in your eyes.
"Smells amazing," he comments as he sits down at the island. You smile as you slide a plate over to him before you pour the both of you something to drink before you sit next to him. "Thank you."
"Of course. I hope you like it," you say before you both start to eat. You make small talk after he compliments the food, and you talk even after you're done eating, only cutting the conversation short once you see what time it is. You wince a bit when you stand up, putting a hand on your back as you try to stretch, rubbing over your shoulders as you place your dishes in the sink.
"You okay?" you hear him question.
"Yeah, just the couch is kinda killing me, but it's no big deal," you answer honestly, feeling like you may not be able to lie to him. The couch wasn't uncomfortable, but sleeping on it for days on end really has your body protesting. You didn't want to tell him, and the look on his face when you turn around really makes you wish you would've at least tried to lie.
"You know," he starts. "You can sleep in my bed," he offers suddenly, and that makes you stop a bit, your eyes widening a little bit as he looks away. "We don't have the same schedules, so we won't be sleeping together," he explains, and you have to fight the urge to deflate. He's right. You'll never be in bed with him at the same time.
You're happy to hear that you can get off the couch, but you're also disappointed that he won't be with you. "Are you sure? I can handle the couch, I'll just have to do a little stretching in the morning."
He nods. "Of course. I don't want you to be in so much pain, and like I said, we're never sharing the bed at the same time, so it's a win-win." You think it's more of a win-lose, but you obviously don't tell him that.
"If you're sure that's okay, then thanks," you accept rather quickly, the thought of your body not aching every day you wake up winning over the fact that you'll be sleeping alone.
"I'm sure. It's all yours," he smiles.
"Okay, if you say so," you say softly before looking at the time on the oven. "I should probably go. And thank you again," you continue before you start to get your stuff together, moving toward the door to put your shoes on.
"And thank you for the food. It was really good."
"You're welcome," you smile as you finish putting on your shoes. "I'll see you later," you tell him before you open the door, closing it softly behind you.
You were honestly still feeling a little down about your apartment, but seeing how happy your students were to see you again made you so much happier. All of your co-workers and your boss were really understanding, letting you take as much time as you needed until you could go back to work.
You didn't want to stay away for too long, and thanks to Kobori, you were able to go back a lot sooner than you thought. Your kids all gasp when they see you once they walk into the classroom, hugging you as they tell you how much they missed you. You're thankful that you're back to work again since it gives you a chance to get your mind off of Kobori. He and your feelings have been plaguing your mind for the past couple of weeks, and you're glad you don't have a moment to think about either.
The day goes by surprisingly fast, and by the time you get into the car, you're already feeling the day catch up with you. You were on your feet for most of the day, your lower back aching with complaints, and you're glad that Kobori offered his bed. Now that you're working again, you don't know if you would've been able to handle the couch for much longer.
You try to stay as quiet as possible when you get home since you know that Kobori's still asleep, carefully closing the door before you take your shoes off. You sit on the couch as you turn the TV on, turning the volume down before you start working on some new lesson plans. One of your friends filled in for you, and you said that you would grade all of the stuff that she gave your students since she'd already done enough for you.
You put the answer key to the side as you begin to go through the papers, and you dive into work mode, trying to get as much done as possible so you can relax for the rest of the night. You hear a door open, quickly followed by footsteps, and you finish marking the last paper before you look over your shoulder.
"When did you get home?" Kobori asks you quietly before he yawns.
"A few hours ago," you answer, clicking your pen as you stack all of your papers before sliding them into your bag. "How'd you sleep?"
"Pretty good actually. We actually got a lot of calls last night, so I really needed the sleep."
"That's good," you respond. "I was thinking of some stuff for dinner, is there anything that you wanted?" you ask, standing up to stretch.
"You're making dinner?" he asks.
You shrug. "Sure. If that's okay. I'm done for the night, so I've got nothing else to do."
"Yeah, if you wanna go ahead. I don't care what you make," he says, yawning again before he heads to the bathroom.
You had multiple ideas on what to make for dinner, but you settled on one that you'd been craving for a while, so you get to cooking. You put in one of your earbuds so you can listen to music as you do so, singing quietly, dancing a little every now and then.
You're so into it that you don't even notice Kobori come back into the room, only seeing him out of the corner of your eye when you glance to the side. You jump as you scream, careful not to drop the pan in your hand. "Oh, my God!" you laugh as you sigh, dropping your head.
"I didn't wanna scare you by saying something, but it looks like I did anyway," he smiles, and you look at him as you shake your head.
"Don't worry about it," you breathe, still laughing a bit. "It's almost done."
"It smells really good," he comments as he sits down, and you make your plates before you turn the stove off, moving around to sit next to him as you slide him the plate. "Thanks for cooking," he tells you as you start to eat, your stomach screaming at you to eat something.
"Of course. I like doing it, so I hope you enjoy it."
Kobori asks about your day as you eat, and you're glad for it since you sometimes can eat too fast when you're hungry. You finish your food before he does despite doing most of the talking, and you get yourself a little more food. Kobori gets himself another serving as you finish up your food.
"This was probably the best thing I've ever tasted," he comments as he takes the last bite.
"You don't have to say all that," you chuckle softly, trying and failing to stop your face from becoming hot.
"No, seriously. I haven't had a cooked meal in a long time," he says. "When I come home from work, I usually just heat up something real quick, and I get something to eat on the way. So, this is an upgrade."
"Well, thank you. I'm glad you can eat some good food," you laugh as he stands to take your dishes to the sink. He starts to wash the dishes, which he insists that he should do since you cooked, and you move back to the couch, scrolling on your phone since nothing you watch is playing on TV right now.
Kobori joins you once he's finished with the dishes, and he changes the channel while you continue to scroll through your phone. You don't say anything, and you don't feel like you need to say anything, but you can't help but notice how close he's sitting to you. You didn't realize it since you were looking down, but he shifted a bit and his shoulder brushed against yours.
You internally shake your head at how you're reacting to a little touch, trying your best to not focus on it. The only thing you really want to do is just lay your head on his shoulder, but you don't want to make things weird. It seems like time slows down as you sit there drowning in your thoughts, and you're only jumped out of them when Kobori stands up all of a sudden.
You check the time to see that he's got to go to work soon, and you notice that he's already dressed. You stand up, walking to the kitchen as he puts his shoes on, and you walk up to him as he grabs his keys. "I made you lunch," you start, feeling ridiculously nervous as you hold it out to him. "I know you didn't ask, but I figured you do get a lunch break, right? You don't have to take it if you don't want to. I probably should've asked first."
You're rambling at this point and beyond embarrassed, two seconds from just walking away and crawling into a hole, but then he smiles as he takes it from you. "Thank you. I'll enjoy this." Your smile instantly comes back as you nod.
"No problem. See you tomorrow."
"See ya." You watch him leave, and as soon as you can't hear his footsteps, you sigh heavily before you scream softly. You put your palm to your forehead as you shake your head, moving into the bathroom to get ready for the night. When you're done, you realize that you didn't ask him what side of the bed he sleeps on, but you don't even know how you would've brought that up in conversation without sounding so awkward.
You can't tell since he's made the bed, but you just pick a side since you're tired, choosing the one further away from the door. You groan softly as you settle under the blanket, his bed being way more comfortable than the couch, and you're pretty sure it's better than yours. You set your alarm before you pull the blanket up to your chin, and you don't even have the time to overthink about anything else because you fall asleep in seconds.
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Kobori groans softly as he sits down, hoping that he can get at least halfway through his lunch before the alarm rings again signaling another emergency. He can't help but smile as he thinks about how you gave him lunch before he left. Like he told you, he usually ends up getting something, or if he doesn't feel like going out, just getting something from the vending machine.
He had no doubt that it was going to be good, but just tasting it really hit the spot for him. "And you've got another lunch packed for. Where did you get that from?" he hears, Kobori glancing to the side to see Moriyama sitting next to him.
"Nowhere," he mumbles around a mouthful of food. So far, he's been able to go through his shifts without his friends finding out about this, but he knew it was only a matter of time before they found out.
"Looks really good," he comments. "You don't cook, Kobori, so who's giving it to you?" Kobori just chooses to ignore him, focusing on eating. More of his friends come and comment on the food, but he doesn't say anything, giving vague answers.
He knows that the moment he starts talking, he'll be found out immediately, and the last thing he needs is for Kise to find out, who thankfully, isn't working tonight. He tries to keep his composure as they ask if he's with someone now, but he remains expressionless, refusing to give any answers.
"What if it's the woman he saved from that fire?" one of them suddenly asks, and that makes him freeze just a bit, he tries to play it off, but they catch it instantly.
"So, she's the one who made this," Moriyama concludes.
"No, she didn't," Kobori tries to deny, but there's no use. They're already onto him.
"Dude, you ran into that burning building against orders, and you came out with someone that you clearly knew," one of his co-workers continues.
"That doesn't mean that she made it," he mumbles, finishing up the last bits of food before he puts the container back into the lunch box. Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you look at it, the alarm goes off, signaling that they have to get to work. He's quick to move, putting his stuff away before getting his gear on.
Of course, he's not saved forever as his friends mess with him about it for the rest of his shift. Kobori knows Kise will definitely hear about this, and there's nothing he can do but prepare for it. He'll just deny, deny, deny until he can't anymore.
Work goes pretty slow since they don't get many calls, and that means he's stuck with Moriyama's prying. "So, you're still into her after all of these years," he says as they do some chores around the firehouse. Kobori stays silent, but he can feel his ears growing warm, which ultimately betrays him. "So, I'm assuming she's living with you now, and I gotta say, people usually date first before moving in with someone."
"It's not like that," he counters quickly before he sighs. "Her parents live three hours away, and there was no way I could leave her to figure stuff out. Who knows how long it would've taken her to find a place to stay," he argues. "And I would do the same for you guys, so there's no need to make this weird."
Moriyama stops what he's doing to place a hand on his shoulder, which gets Kobori to stop moving. "You're currently living with the girl that you've had feelings for since you met her. She made you lunch, dude. Are you really not gonna say anything?"
"She was just being nice," he denies.
Kobori always thought that he was being subtle with his feelings, but he definitely wasn't since all of his teammates caught on right away. They always tried to get him to say something, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Once you graduated, he thought he wouldn't have to fight this battle again, but you've crossed paths again, so he knows that they're never going to let him live this down.
"You are so hopeless," Moriyama sighs, but he drops the subject thankfully, and Kobori goes the rest of his shift without too much teasing from his friends.
~
You're lying on the couch watching TV after a long morning of grading papers, mostly paying attention to your phone as you try to figure out what to do to cure your boredom. Kobori's been back from work for a while, so you try to think of something you could do that hopefully won't cause too much noise.
You groan softly as you sit up, freezing when you hear a knock on the door. You frown as you slowly stand, not remembering Kobori telling you about anyone coming over. You tiptoe to the door, peeking through the peephole, and your heart drops when you see who's on the other side.
You try to slowly step back, hoping that you can just pretend that you didn't hear it. "I know you're in there," Kise singsongs, your name coming from his mouth making you sigh in annoyance. You stomp your foot softly as you grimace, deciding that you have no other option but to open the door. You know he's not going to leave; he'll probably stand out there until Kobori wakes up, and then he'll break him down until he eventually opens the door.
You have a blank look on your face as you open the door, rolling your eyes when you see him smiling back at you. "What are you doing here?" you question, not letting him in just yet.
"I could ask you the same thing, no?" he teases, letting himself in, and you close the door behind him.
"Keep it down, okay? Kobori's sleeping right now," you warn gently, sitting back down on the couch.
"Look at you, looking out for your boyfriend," he coos.
"Fuck you," you say lightly. He laughs softly as he sits down next to you.
"So, how long have you two been living together?" he muses, and you sigh as rest back against the couch before letting your head fall back, ignoring his playful jab.
"A couple of months now," you answer honestly. "Believe it or not, it's hard to find a place that fits everything that I need."
"I'm sorry about your place, and I'm glad you're okay," he tells you softly, and you give him a soft smile when you turn your head to look at him.
"Thanks, Kise."
"So, this is the part of the story where you finally stop pining over him and just confess?" Your smile drops quickly, deciding to turn your attention back to the ceiling.
"I was not pining, okay? And how am I supposed to even bring that up without it being awkward?" you ask. "If it goes horribly, there's no way I'm staying here. So, I would rather just not say anything than lose the place I'm living at."
"I've been telling you this for years," he sighs. "It's not gonna go bad."
"I'm not telling him, Kise," you conclude. "At least not while I'm living under the same roof as him." You know he's about to say something in response, but he stops when he hears a door open. You lift your head to look over the couch, seeing Kobori come into view as he yawns.
He stops quickly as his face drops when his eyes on Kise, and he doesn't even fight the urge to roll his eyes. "What are you doing in my home, Kise?" he questions, walking further into the living room so that he's standing in front of both of you.
"Well, your roommate invited me in," he jabs, and it's your turn to roll your eyes. "Why didn't you tell me you guys moved into together?"
"Why would we need to?" he questions, crossing his arms.
"Come on, we've been friends for years, guys!" Kise tries.
"And you're still just as annoying," you groan. Kise gives you a look before you turn to Kobori. "Any requests for dinner?"
"You know I'm gonna eat whatever you make," he smiles, and you can't help but return it, getting up to make your way into the kitchen, Kobori's eyes still on you as you walk into the kitchen. He turns his attention back to the intruder in his apartment, his smile dropping when he sees that he's looking at him with a smirk.
"I knew Moriyama wouldn't keep his mouth shut," Kobori whispers as he walks over to the couch, sighing as he sits down. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd go through that same spiel."
"And I still think that you should. What's the worst that could happen?" Kise asks.
"I could lose a really good friend," he answers. "And I don't wanna make her feel weird if I tell her how I feel. She hasn't found a place yet, and I don't want to put her in that position."
"You guys are seriously so annoying," Kise whines, letting his head fall back onto the couch before he quickly lifts it back up again. "What would it take for me to convince you that it won't end badly?"
"A million dollars," Kobori drawls. "It's not happening, Kise." Kobori looks at the TV, trying his best to keep his attention on the screen even though he can see his friend's eyes boring into the side of his head in his peripheral.
"But, this could be your chance, no? Do you remember how upset you were when we graduated, and you realized that we probably wouldn't be seeing each other as much anymore?"
Kobori doesn't respond, sighing as he crosses his arms. How could he forget about that? Yeah, he was happy to finally be done with school, but when he said goodbye to you that day he graduated, the only thing he could think about as he watched you walk away was how his feelings for you never left, and that he missed his chance to tell you how he really felt.
He wasn't himself for a while after that, wanting to just text you and just tell you everything, but he thought that wasn't something that he should say over text. You continued to talk after you graduated, and Kobori never had the courage to say anything, always typing it out but deleting it right after. After a couple of years, the texts started to fizzle out between the two of you, life just getting the best of you both.
That was definitely not what he wanted, but then he ran into you at the store, and it's like his feelings for you hit him full force the moment he saw you in the aisle that day. He obviously didn't think that he would meet you again by saving you from your apartment, but Kise's words play over and over in his head. Is this really his chance? Kise's always told him that it wouldn't end badly like he thinks it will, but he still has that fear underlying in his thoughts.
Before he can think any more, the call of his name from the kitchen breaks him out of his thoughts. He's quick to get up, not wanting to be a part of this conversation anymore, and Kise follows shortly after once Kobori sits down at the island.
"Do you want any, Kise?" you ask.
"No, I already ate, but it smells amazing." You thank him as you make yourself a plate, and luckily for the both of you, Kise doesn't hint at your feelings as you all talk. Kise offers to take Kobori to work as he finishes up eating, which Kobori begrudgingly agrees to before he goes to get ready. Kise chuckles a bit as he watches you make lunch for Kobori, and you glance over your shoulder when you hear it.
"What?"
"You know our friends won't stop messing with Kobori about his packed lunches," he tells you. "They're trying to figure out who he's dating." That makes you freeze a bit, your movements faltering, but you can't play it off enough that it goes missing by Kise.
"I'm guessing a lot of you guys don't get lunches?" you try to joke, trying to shake off what he told you.
"A lot of us are painfully single," Kise laughs. "Kobori used to be one of those people."
"Stop saying that," you hiss, looking towards the hallway to make sure Kobori can't hear him. "We're just friends. I'm just being nice," you continue. "He's letting me stay here. He won't even let me help him with the rent," you say, shaking your head.
"Isn't he so sweet?"
You squint your eyes at him as Kobori comes back into the room, dressed for work. You hand him the lunchbox as Kise jokingly asks if you can make one for him before Kobori all but shoves him out of the door. "See you in the morning," Kobori tells you warmly, and you return the phrase, both of you smiling as he closes the door behind him.
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It's already been half a year living with Kobori, and you honestly didn't know time could fly by so fast. You found a couple of places to live, and Kobori always went with you to the open houses, but by the time you wanted to put an offer on it, it was either already gone or the prices went up way past your budget.
There's a part of you that's relieved that you didn't get the place because every time you found a new place, there was a sinking feeling in your heart. You don't even want to think about living without Kobori, and there are periods of time when you don't even bother looking. You sometimes feel guilty, but Kobori always reassures you that you're not bothering him in any way, and you hope that he feels the same way you do.
After a while of getting tired of looking at the boxes of your stuff in the living room, you decided to put them into storage. You figured you could just throw your clothes in your suitcases and slide them under the bed so that it would be out of the way, but after you told Kobori that, the next day he took you to the furniture store. He was off that day, and he didn't tell you where you were going, and you were confused until he told you that you were there to get a new dresser.
"Why would I need to do that?" you'd asked him.
It took him a while to look at you when he responded. "So, that you're not living out of your suitcases. I don't mind getting another one for you." Your face grows warm at his words, busying yourself with looking around as your heart races. He actually bought more than just the dresser, buying some of the things that caught your eye as you were looking through the store.
You tried to convince him that he didn't have to get anything, but he insisted that it wouldn't matter because his apartment was pretty plain and empty anyway. You bought a couple of decorations along with a new dresser, and he built it when you got home while you decorated the apartment.
You smile at the memory as you close your laptop, deciding that you could put off looking for a new place later. The rest of your stuff that you didn't need ended up going to storage, and you're glad that you don't have to look at the boxes anymore. When Kobori comes home, you fall into that same routine that you've found yourself enjoying. Recently, work's been a bit more tiring for him, so he usually just skips the breakfast you make, heading straight for the shower so he can get into bed.
You carefully open the door open, and he turns his head, his eyes slowly opening and closing. "See you later, Kobori," you say quietly.
He smiles at you, sighing softly as his eyes close. "Have a good day." He hears the door close, and he rolls over onto his side. Honestly, Kobori's never been happier since you've been living with him. Kise and Moriyama don't waste any time making fun of him whenever he goes to work, but he can't really find it in himself to be annoyed with it anymore since they've been messing with him for so long.
Even some of his other friends comment on how he seems happier recently, and he can't deny that, but he still doesn't respond to their jokes, only brushing them off. Work has been rough for the past couple of weeks, and the only thing that keeps him from sleeping at the firehouse is being able to see you once he gets through the door.
Since you've started sharing a bed, your scent seems to be flooding his senses even when he's not around you. He takes a deep breath as he starts to let sleep take over, but that only allows him to smell your shampoo on the pillow. He can feel his face growing warm as he pushes his face further into the pillow, but it's not like you'll never know he's doing this. It's honestly what puts him to sleep every time he gets into bed.
Living with you has made him realize how much he's actually missed you, and seeing all of your things sprawled about the apartment makes him smile to himself as he falls asleep when he thinks about it. It just makes him wish you were actually dating, and he wishes he would tell you that you don't have to look for a new place and that you could stay with him. He knows how selfish that sounds, but you're finally back in his life, in person, not over the phone.
He doesn't want to let that go. He enjoys hearing you tell him about your day as you make dinner, or spend time at home when neither of you are working. The only thing he doesn't like is whenever he's off for the day, you end up sleeping on the couch. He wished he had the courage to tell you that you could sleep in the bed also, but he knows that he would never do it. And that always plays in the back of his mind as he falls asleep.
~
Kobori gets to work already feeling a bit drained. He got a good amount of sleep, but work has been pretty hectic for a while, and he hopes that it goes a bit smoother this time. He puts his stuff in his locker and his lunch in the fridge, and he sighs when he sees who's working tonight. One of his co-workers has been a pain in his ass lately, and he's one of the reasons why he's been dreading going to work.
He's a total asshole, and Kobori honestly doesn't know how anyone hasn't beaten his ass yet. They don't have that many emergencies to respond to, so work goes pretty slow. He's counting down the minutes until he can finally go home, already changing out of his gear. He's making sure that he hasn't left anything before he goes to the kitchen to grab the lunch box.
He left his lunch on the counter since the alarm rang before he could put it away, and he goes to put the container into the lunchbox when he sees something inside. He stops for a second as he picks up the sticky note, and he smiles when he sees that you wrote him a note. He stands there reading it, having a hard time wiping the smile off of his face.
"What has you smiling like that?" Kobori hears suddenly, and the smile immediately falls off of his face as that one difficult co-worker walks in. Kobori packs up his lunch as the man comes to stand beside him.
"See you later," he tells him shortly, getting ready to leave, but he keeps talking.
"It's your girl, right?" he says, and Kobori's steps falter before he stops. "Kise told us that you guys have been friends for years." Kobori sighs as he turns around to face him. "He showed us what she looks like," he continues. "You're pretty lucky, man," he smiles, and that only makes Kobori even more irritated.
Someone walks in behind him, and when he walks past, Kobori sees that it's one of his other co-workers packing up as well. Kobori just shakes his head before he starts to turn around. "Doesn't really explain why you've been in such a bad mood lately," he calls out after him.
"You should probably get going, hm?" Kobori responds.
"Guess your bitch didn't give you any pussy lately, huh?" Kobori doesn't remember how he got back into the kitchen or when his fist connected with his face. He feels the man punch him back, but that's the only hit he gets in before Kobori tackles him to the ground. He can hear other people shouting, but he's only focused on one thing.
It takes a few people to get him up and off the man, and he fights them for a little while, only feeling satisfied when he sees the damage he's done. He realizes that Kise is the one holding him, and he pulls him out of the kitchen, only letting him go when Kobori shakes him off.
He stays silent as he walks to the door, quickly making his way to his car. "Kobori, what the hell was that?" Kise yells, and Kobori only hears him when he gets to the car, noticing that if he's been saying something to him, he hasn't been listening.
"Nothing. He was just being an asshole," he spits, balling his hand into a fist and feeling the skin around his knuckles pull painfully when he does. "See you later." He doesn't let him say another word, getting in the car and driving off.
Kobori's tense the entire time he's driving home, replaying the man's words in his head over and over again, and he wishes that he wasn't stopped. He slams the door a little too hard, wincing when he does so, but he jumps when he hears you gasp.
"Oh, my God! You scared me," you breathe, your hand over your chest.
"S-Sorry," he whispers as he drops his keys and takes off his shoes.
"Are you okay?" you ask him, and he can hear you walking towards him. He stands up, and your mouth drops when you look at his face. "Oh, my God, what happened?" you ask, your hands coming up to cup his face. You rub over his cheekbone softly, and he feels himself relax at your touch.
"Just some asshole at work," he sighs as he shakes his head.
"The one you were telling me about?" you question, your hands never leaving his face, and he doesn't want them to. "Did he say something?" you ask after he nods.
"Not really," he answers. He sighs again, but you don't ask him any more questions, your hands leaving his face before you walk to the freezer. You pull out an ice pack, gently putting it on his face, and he grimaces as the cold stings his skin.
"Any more injuries?" you ask, looking over him, and you grab his hand when you see his knuckles. "You're bleeding. Hold this," you tell him, and he barely has enough time to grab the ice pack before he watches you disappear down the hallway. He sits down on the stool, resting his elbow on the island as the events from the last thirty minutes run through his head.
He laughs softly to himself as he shakes his head again, realizing he didn't know he was capable of snapping like that. He looks over when he hears your footsteps, and you sit next to him as you set the stuff you got from the bathroom on the island. You grab his hand, setting it on the counter to tell him to keep it there as you put a cotton ball on the top of the hydrogen peroxide before you turn it over quickly to soak the cotton ball.
"This is going to sting a bit," you warn before you gently dap the cotton ball over his knuckles, and he winces softly, but stays quietly nonetheless. He can't help but watch you fondly as you carefully clean up his hand, putting on some Neosporin once you're finished. "Okay, that's all I can really do," you say once you're finished. "What?" you question when you look at him to see him smiling at you.
"Thank you," he tells you softly.
"Of course, Kobori," you say as you stand. "I wasn't expecting you to come in all bruised up this morning," you tease softly, chuckling as you return everything to the bathroom. When you come back, he's still sitting on the stool, and you stop in front of him. "Since when do you get into fights?"
"I don't know what got into me," he laughs quietly. "I guess I was just tired or something," he lies, not wanting to tell you the real reason why he got into the fight. "Works been pretty tiring lately," he adds, glad that he took a shower at work this time.
"I'm sorry to hear that," you say. "But I can make your favorite. I know it probably won't make you feel better, but it might take your mind off your shift," you offer. Kobori doesn't respond, only looking at you for a second before he sets the ice pack down and gently pulls you into a hug.
You go without protest, his arms wrapping around you as his body fully sinks into you, his head resting on your chest. He feels one of your arms wrap around his shoulders as your other hand softly runs through his hair. He's too tired to think about what you might be thinking, the only thing he knows is that he feels so much better than before.
"You feel better now?" you ask softly, and he nods against you, smiling when he feels you laugh. You rub over his shoulders, and he shudders a bit before he relaxes again. "You're so tense," you whisper, and he responds with a hum in your chest.
He eventually pulls away, but he can't bring himself to let his arms fall from you. "You okay?" you ask, moving your hand so that it's resting on his face, and he closes his eyes for a split second at the motion as he nods.
"Yeah. Sorry about that."
You smile widely. "Don't apologize. I'm always here if you need a hug."
He finally lets you go, so you can make breakfast, and even though he had a rough day at work, he finds himself smiling for the rest of the day.
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You suck on a cough drop as you cough again, clearing your throat as you shake your head. You've definitely come down with something, already calling out of work, and you groan as you try to get comfortable on the couch. You've already taken some medicine, but right now, more than anything, you just want to sleep. You didn't get much sleep last night since you were feeling so bad, and you look towards the door when you hear keys sliding into the lock.
"You don't look so good," he comments softly when he walks in.
"I feel like shit," you whine. "And I'm so tired." He starts to walk over to you, but you're quick to stop him. "No, I don't want to get you sick."
"I think it might be too late for that," he responds, and you sigh softly.
"Kobori, I am so sorry. But I told you that sleeping in your bed wouldn't help."
"Yeah, that's definitely my fault," he laughs. "But we'll bounce back in no time." Kobori gets into the shower, and you continue laying on the couch, rubbing over your forehead when the pain throbs a little too much. You luckily start to feel sleepy once the pain starts to subside, letting your eyes slip closed as sleep starts to take over.
You wake up in the middle of your body rolling over, and you try to go back to sleep, but the smell of food filling your nose immediately makes your stomach grumble. You roll over again so that you're not facing the couch as you peel your eyes open. It's dark now, the only thing lighting the room is the TV, but don't sit up, taking a deep breath as you start to wake up.
You squint as your eyes adjust to the new light, and you can see Kobori walking into the room with a tray in his hand. "You feel better enough to eat?" he asks softly, and you slowly sit up, not feeling great, but feeling better than before.
You let your feet rest on the floor, moving the blanket so that it's covering your lower half before gently taking the tray from Kobori when he moves it towards you. You set it on your lap to see that it's a bowl of soup, and you smile as you look at it, sniffling quietly before you say anything.
"Thank you."
"Of course," he responds fondly before walking back into the kitchen. A random sports game is on the TV, you so half-watch it while you eat. You feel a little bit better once you're halfway through the soup, but you know that you'll need to take some more medicine since you can already feel it wearing off.
You already want to lay back down again by the time you're finished eating, but you force yourself to get up so that you can put the dishes in the kitchen. You walk in to see Kobori washing some dishes, and he looks at you over his shoulder for a split second when he hears you walk in.
"You all done?" he asks, stepping to the side to let you put the bowl in the sink.
"Yeah, I definitely needed that," you smile, setting the tray on the counter before you turn to him. "Thank you, Kobori."
"You'd do the same for me," he returns, and you yawn softly before sniffling again even though it doesn't do much since your sinuses are clogged again.
"I also ran to the store and got some stuff that I didn't have here," he tells you, turning his attention to the plastic bag on the island. You watch him pull out some more cold medicine and some painkillers before he hands them to you. "I'm sure you need to take this again, and I got this just in case that headache is a bit stubborn."
You softly thank him as you take them from him, and you're about to grab some water when he starts talking again. "And you can take the bed until you're feeling better."
You stop in your tracks. "Kobori, I can't do that. I'll live if I sleep on the couch."
He shakes his head, stepping closer to you. "Seriously, take it. I'm not feeling nearly as bad as you, and I would feel horrible if I let you sleep on the couch." You know you can't argue with him, and you softly roll your eyes as you grab a bottle of water.
"Since you're not taking no for an answer, then I will," you relent, "but if you start feeling worse than me, then feel free to kick me out," you joke. Kobori laughs softly as you walk back to the couch to take the medicine.
It's only about a couple of days before the sickness really hits you, and you don't know how much more of this you can take. Despite taking the cold medicine, you think you're hitting the worst of it now, and it's just your luck that Kobori is starting to feel really bad as well. Once you started feeling better, you moved back to the couch since he wasn't doing so good, but it seems like the couch is only making both of your problems worse.
You groan loudly as you throw the blanket off of your body for what feels like the millionth time, your body temperature fluctuating with no set interval. You feel so bad that you can't even focus on anything but how you're feeling. You can't go to sleep, and the lack of sleep is only making things suck even more. You hear the door open, sitting up as you take a deep breath in that doesn't make it through your nose because of how stuffed up you are.
Kobori comes into view, dragging his feet, and you can barely make out the sweat dotting his forehead. "Yeah, this sucks," he huffs, which makes you laugh quietly as you stand.
"I know. It seems like the couch is making us feel even worse," you respond before you fall back against the couch. "I just wanna feel better!" you whine, letting your eyes close as your head throbs painfully.
You notice that Kobori seems unusually quiet, and you open your eyes to see him staring at you. "What's wrong?" you ask, sitting up again before mentally preparing yourself to stand up. When you walk over to him, he looks somewhere else in the room, and your mind is running with the different things he could say.
"We could share the bed," he says quietly, and you almost don't hear him, so it takes you a while to process what he said, but once you do, your face instantly grows warm.
"What?" you whisper, not really knowing how to respond, but still wondering if you heard him correctly.
"We obviously don't have to if you're not comfortable," he starts, and you notice that he's blushing, it spreading down to his neck. "But it doesn't look like we're going to get any better if we take turns sleeping on the couch, and I'm pretty sure the bed is big enough so we won't be touching each other, or...something," he trails off, and for a bit all you do is stare at him.
Are you really going to share a bed with him? Of course, it's something you've thought about, but that was in your dreams, in the fantasy in your head. You never once considered that there would be a real life chance that you would be sleeping in the same bed as your crush.
"You don't have to. It was just a suggestion," he rushes out, and you realize that you've been doing so much thinking in your head, that you haven't responded to him yet.
"No, no, um..." you start, having a hard time meeting his eyes. "You're probably right. I mean, the sooner we feel better, the sooner we'll get over this, so..."
All he does is nod, and the room falls silent again; you can't remember the last time you've had such an awkward interaction. He suddenly clears his throat, gesturing towards his room. "After you." You give him a small smile as you make your way to his room first, and the sound of his footsteps behind you only makes you more nervous.
Your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest when you step into the room, and you're confident that if you hold your hand in front of your face, it'll be shaking. You walk over to the other side of the bed that Kobori hasn't been in, not sparing him a glance as you pull the covers back and slide in.
You fight to sigh aloud as the cool sheets hit your skin, feeling so much better than the couch that seemed to be uncomfortably hot. You lay down, pulling the covers up over your legs as you hear Kobori slide in next to you. Both of you are horribly tense, but the bed is big enough that neither of you is touching each other.
You would be upset about that at any other time, but right now, you're grateful for it. It feels like you've skipped so many steps, and it takes everything in you to control yourself, telling yourself that it's not a big deal. But you honestly have no idea where two friends end up in a bed together under these circumstances, so it gets hard to even calm yourself down.
Kobori turns the TV on, and you're thankful that there's now some form of sound in the room because you were sure the silence was going to kill you. There really isn't any conversation going on between the two of you other than Kobori asking you if there's anything specific you want to watch.
You tell him you don't care since you're already feeling tired despite being a nervous wreck. Once your eyes start to feel heavy, you roll over onto your side, your back facing him because there's no way you can look at him at this moment.
You're a couple of seconds from falling asleep when you hear Kobori say something softly. "Sleep tight."
~
When you wake up, it's because of two things: you're hot as fuck and you have to pee. You groan as you get out of bed, your head pounding as you walk to the bathroom. You're half asleep as you pee, not even turning the light on. You don't feel too much better, thinking that you should take some more medicine as you wash your hands.
You notice the TV is still on when you walk back into the room, and Kobori is still sleeping on his side of the bed. Your next issue is how absolutely on fire you feel, and you're confident you're going to sweat through your shirt. You drag yourself over to your dresser, grabbing a tank top before you slide your shirt off and put it on. You throw your other shirt in the hamper before you get back in the bed, and you groan softly when you realize that you haven't taken any more medicine.
You hear Kobori sigh heavily, and you turn your head to see him looking right at you. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?" you whisper, and he slowly shakes his head.
"No, you're good," he responds, and if you weren't feeling so bad, you'd be melting at the sound of his voice. "You okay?"
"I'm so hot, and I forgot to get more medicine before I got back in the bed." You push the side of the pillow until they're covering your face. "I don't feel like getting up."
"I'll get it," he says, causing you to let the pillow fall so you can look at him.
"You don't have to," you whisper, about to tell him that you're just being dramatic, but he's already sitting up.
"It's no big deal. I'm gonna go to the bathroom anyway. I'll grab it on the way back." He groans as he gets out of bed, and you watch him leave, turning your attention to the TV. There's a random infomercial playing, so you assume it's really early in the morning.
You're glad that you're over the initial shock of sharing a bed with Kobori, but you're too worried about how shitty you feel to deal with your feelings about that. You roll over to lay on your stomach when you start to notice how warm you are again.
It seems like changing clothes didn't do anything to combat that, and your face grows even hotter at the thought of not wearing clothes while sleeping in the same bed as Kobori. You push your face into the pillow as you blow out a heavy breath, turning your head when you run out of air. You really want to just throw your shirt to the other side of the room, already feeling it sticking to your skin.
Kobori comes back after a little while with the medicine in his hand, but you notice that he's shirtless this time. You can't help but stare, and even with the light from the TV illuminating him in the dark room, you can see how much more defined his body is. He stops at the bed when he catches you staring, and when he clears his throat, you finally realize what you've been doing.
"Sorry, I'm just feeling really warm," he apologizes softly, quickly lifting up the hand that's holding his shirt. "I can put it back on if you're uncomfortable."
"No, no. It's okay," you say quickly. "It's not like I haven't seen you shirtless before," you awkwardly laugh. "I'm just wishing I could do the same thing."
He doesn't respond immediately after that, grateful that you can't see how red is face definitely is as he opens his mouth to speak. "You can do the same," he says. "Like you said. We've been to the beach multiple times, so it's like the same thing," he adds even though he knows for a fact that he could barely handle seeing you in a swimsuit.
He does have a point, and he sets the medicine down on the nightstand, sitting down on the bed after at the same time you sit up. "You can change. I'll keep facing this way," he offers, and you're silent as you watch him face forward.
You can't help but smile as you get out of bed, making your way over to your dresser. You look over your shoulder just to make sure he hasn't turned around, even though you know he wouldn't until you told him to before you quickly shed your shirt, finding a comfort bra in the top drawer. You slide it on, hesitating with your hands in the shorts of your waistband, but then a wave of heat runs through you, and you shed them without another thought.
You groan loudly in relief, letting your head fall back as the exposed parts of your skin feel a little bit cooler now that they aren't covered. You walk back over to the bed, seeing that Kobori's still not looking, and you sit down, giving him the okay to turn around.
You see that he's gotten rid of his shorts also, but luckily for you, they're boxers; you don't think you'd be able to handle anything else right now. He hands you the medicine as he turns around, sitting further on the bed, and you take it from him gently. You thank him before you unscrew the top, setting aside the measuring cup before you drink it straight from the bottle.
"What are you doing?!" he questions softly, as you grimace at the taste, reaching for the lukewarm water on your nightstand so that you can chase the medicine.
"I wanna go to sleep and stay asleep," you sigh heavily after you swallow. "I didn't drink much," you add as you hand it back to him. You lay back down, kicking the blanket away from you, and you turn your head to see that Kobori's doing the same thing.
He grimaces just like you did, drinking water after he swallows the medicine. "Oh, shit," he says suddenly, and you frown as you look at him, seeing that he's looking at the label. You sit up on your elbow so that you can lean over when he moves the medicine closer to you.
Your eyes widen. "This is sleep cold medicine," you say even though both of you are clearly aware of that.
"Yeah," he sighs, and there's silence for a couple of seconds before you both laugh. "I'll text Kise just in case."
You lay back down, already feeling the medicine starting to kick in, and you close your eyes as you roll onto your side. "Night, Kobori. I'm...pretty sure, we'll wake up," you whisper, making the both of you chuckle.
You let your eyes slip closed as they start to feel heavy, but Kobori fights sleep for just a little bit longer so he can look at you.
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Kise doesn't think much of the text that Kobori sent him when he had woken up in the morning, but it's already around noon and he still hasn't heard from him. He got the text around three in the morning, and it's obviously not uncommon for someone to sleep long when they're sick, but Kobori did mention that you and him took more medicine than you should have.
He grabs Moriyama before swinging over by Kobori's apartment, telling him the details on the way there. It's close to the early evening when they finally get there, and they knock on the door along with calling both of you, and they can't say they're not concerned when they don't get an answer to either.
Kise uses the spare key Kobori gave him a while ago that he doesn't really use, and they let themselves in to a pretty quiet apartment. When they close the door, the only sound they can hear is the faint noise coming from the TV in Kobori's room. Kise notes in his head that you're nowhere to be seen, and it makes him feel better on one hand; maybe you could be in the bathroom. But on the other hand, he doesn't know where you could be or how you're doing.
They follow the sounds of the TV, and Moriyama softly knocks on the door before he carefully pushes it open. At first, when they see the two of you in the bed, they're relieved that you're alive, hearing the two of you snoring so loud it nearly drowns out the TV.
Since they know that you're doing just fine, Kise can't help but laugh as he looks at the both of you cuddled up next to each other. He would love to hear the conversation that led to this situation. "Do you think they'd kill me if I took a picture?" he asks.
"Of course, they would," Moriyama smiles. "You wouldn't be alive for another second." You're laying on Kobori's chest with his arm wrapped tightly around you, and both of the men find this absolutely hilarious, but they try to hold in their laughs. "He'd shit himself if he knew what was happening right now."
They finally laugh a little too loud, and it makes you stir just a bit, curling yourself further into Kobori before you start to wake up. You slowly open your eyes, taking a deep breath in as your eyes start to fully open. Your face drops when you see who's standing in front of you.
"What are you doing here?" you sigh, turning your head to the side to yawn.
"Making sure you hadn't overdosed on sleep medicine," Moriyama drawls.
"Well, I'm fine, obviously," you respond. You don't know if you're going to go back to sleep, but you lay your head back down anyway, closing your eyes as you stay in the same position.
Kise huffs as he shakes Kobori, who frowns in his sleep, and he continues to shake him until Kobori wakes up, pushing his hand away. "What do you want?" he groans, but he doesn't open his eyes, already knowing that his former teammates are in his place.
"You texted us asking the check in on you, and now you're complaining?" Kise says, and Kobori doesn't respond, getting comfortable again as he adjusts his arm around you.
"Well, we're fine. So, you can leave," he responds, and Kise and Moriyama exchange a glance before Kise smirks.
"Yeah, of course, you're fine," Kise starts. "The both of you cuddling each other is enough proof of that."
It seems like it takes a while for his words to process, but once they do, you and Kobori's eyes shoot open before you quickly separate from each other. You sit up quickly, looking anywhere else in the room, your face growing so hot as you hear Kobori clear his throat.
"Seriously, get out," Kobori demands, getting out of the bed to chase them out of the room. You try to compose yourself as you listen to Kobori kicking them out of the apartment, and you have every mind to scream into the pillow, but you refrain. At least you have some kind of control of yourself.
Instead, you fall back on the bed, putting your pillow over your face. When you hear footsteps, you quickly take the pillow off of your face, but you don't sit up. You don't look Kobori's way when he walks back into the room, wondering what in the world you could say.
"Uh, they're gone," he tells you quietly, and you look over at him, giving him a choppy nod. He rubs over the back of his neck awkwardly, glancing at the TV. "Um, sorry about that earlier," he says, and you frown for a second as you wonder what he's talking about, but you figure out shortly after, sitting up way quicker than you wanted to.
"No, it's okay!" you say, and even your laugh is as awkward as you feel. "I mean, I should apologize since I was laying on you, so..." you trail off, fumbling with the corner of the pillowcase. "So, how are you feeling?" you ask, hoping the question will make the air seem less uncomfortable.
"Way better than earlier," he huffs as he nods his head. "You feeling okay?"
"Yeah, so much better," you answer, nodding as well.
"Well, they brought food if you're feeling hungry," he offers, and you nod again, sliding out of bed. Kobori walks out of the room by the time you're out of bed, and now that you're not burning up anymore, you shiver a bit once you're away from the warm cover. Shivering only makes you realize that you're in nothing but your underwear, and you're quick to grab a pair of shorts and a shirt to cover yourself.
You make your way to the kitchen, seeing that Kobori's sitting at the island, already eating, and he slides some food your way when he sees you walk into view. You softly thank him as you sit down, putting food in your mouth before you even have your butt fully in the seat.
You fight to groan loudly when the food hits your tongue, realizing that you can't even remember the last time you've eaten. You feel even better now that you have food in your system, and you are so glad that you're finally over the hard part of this sickness.
You and Kobori still have some congestion, so you're taking medicine for that, but other than that, you feel like your old self again. After you've finished eating, you and Kobori spend the rest of the evening cleaning up the place now that you're both feeling better enough to do something other than lie down.
The air between you two doesn't seem awkward, but you can't help but think about how you woke up when Kise and Moriyama were here. You're cleaning up the kitchen and living room while Kobori's cleaning up the bedroom, so you slap your hand on your forehead.
How could you lay on him in your sleep? Weren't you burning up? The last time you thought your body would want is to be next to even more heat. You try your hardest not to think about how he felt against you, and when you keep failing, you admit to yourself that you really, really like him.
In the back of your head, you think that maybe living with him may not be such a good idea. If your feelings are getting to be too much, and you're doing things like that subconsciously in your sleep, how long will it be until you accidentally confess your feelings? You shake your head as you collect all of the trash, deciding that all of that thinking is only making your head hurt.
You and Kobori finish cleaning, cleaning yourselves up after, and for the rest of the night, you decide to push that inner turmoil away for now.
~
It's been a couple of weeks since you and Kobori were sick, and you're still thinking about sharing a bed with him. Of course, you still use the bed when Kobori's at work, but you sleep on the couch when both of you are off at the same time. He hasn't offered to let you sleep in his bed while he does, and you're glad mostly for your pride; you don't know if you can handle it.
You can't help but miss him beside you when you are in the bed, and for the first couple of nights, that kept you up for way longer than you wanted. You can still smell his cologne in the sheets when you lay down, and that was enough for you, seeming to help your restlessness.
You wake up in the morning groggy, rolling over to see that you woke up about thirty minutes before your alarm. You groan loudly, closing your eyes as you try to settle back into bed, hoping you can get those last minutes of sleep. You have the urge to whine when you can't go back sleep, knowing that you're fully awake now.
You drag yourself out of bed, resisting the urge to slide out and onto the floor. You get yourself ready, packing up everything that you need to bring with you to school. You make breakfast, saving some and putting it in the microwave for Kobori since he'll be coming home later this morning than usual.
You wanted to start your car before you left since the weather has been so warm lately, but to your dismay, your engine won't turn over. You cry out as you try and try again, but it won't budge. You let your head fall against the steering wheel, taking a deep breath so that you don't scream loudly.
You jump when you hear a knock at your window, gasping just a bit as you look to see Kobori standing outside your car. You sigh as you take the keys out of the ignition before you get out of the car. "Are you okay?" he asks as he steps to the side so you can close the door.
"My car won't start," you tell him, shaking your head. This really isn't what you needed this morning. "And I have to get to school early to help set up for today."
"I can drive you," he offers, but you're quick to shake your head.
"You don't have to do that. You just got off work," you respond. "I can see if my friend can take me."
"It's okay. I'm already out here," he tells you. "And my car's been running so the air won't be warm." That's basically enough to convince you, and you sigh as you let your head fall back, giving in.
"Thank you, Koji. I owe you one. Just let me get my stuff." You run back up into the apartment, and you realize that you're going to have to take more than one trip. You grab as much as you can, quickly making your way to his car. You put the stuff in the back seat before you tell him that you've got more stuff, and this time he follows you.
He grabs everything before you can even move, taking it to the car without another word. You shake your head fondly as you lock the door, meeting him at the car. "You seriously didn't have to do all of that," you say as you get into the car, fastening your seatbelt.
"Well, you seemed pretty frazzled, so I was just trying to lighten your load," he notes before he pulls out of the parking lot.
You relax against the seat, noticing that this is the first time since you've woken up that you haven't been tense. "I just didn't get a good night of sleep," you respond. "Dunno why," you add even though you very much know the reason why. He's driving you to work for Pete's sake.
The conversation between the two of you goes in and out the entire way to work, and you can't help but feel bad that you're intruding on Kobori's time. When he pulls into the parking lot, you try to grab as much stuff as you can, mentally preparing yourself to lug it through the school.
"I'll try to get this stuff out as fast as I can, and then I'll be out of your hair," you tell him as you start to grab the boxes, but you look up when you hear the car door closed. You see him walking over to your side, and he carefully pushes you over so he can grab what's left. "Kobori, seriously, you don't have to do this. I already feel bad that you drove me here."
"I don't mind, y/n. You need help. I'd be a bad person if I didn't help you," he says, closing the door with his foot before he starts toward the building. You bite your lip to try to hide your smile as you adjust the boxes in your arms before you follow him.
He lets you take the lead once you get inside the building, and he follows you to your classroom. You both set the boxes down on and around your desk, and you sigh heavily as you roll your shoulders, shaking your arms.
"What's all this for?" Kobori asks as he looks around, curiosity in his words.
"We're having a career fair today, and--shit," you mumble before you let your head fall back to look at the ceiling. "I forgot to ask my friend if she would come today," you whisper. "Every teacher brought someone to talk to the kids and I totally forgot."
You blame it on the bad night of sleep, but you can feel tears trying to make their way out. You're already frustrated from this morning, and this was the last thing you needed. You lift your head back up when you feel something touch your shoulders, and you meet Kobori's eyes.
"I can do it if you need me to."
"Kobori, you have done more than enough!" you say softly, scoffing as you smile. "You don't need to do anything else for me."
He chuckles softly. "You're right. I don't need to do anything, but I want to," he replies.
"But you've been working all night," you counter, and you try not to notice how much you miss his touch when he finally takes his hands off your shoulders.
He just shrugs at you. "Work was really slow, so I took a nap. I'm good."
It's not like you have another option, and you rub your hands over your face before you sigh. "We're not starting until after lunch, so you have time to take another nap if you need to," you say before you move to hug him before you can second guess yourself. "Thank you, Kobori. Anything you want, you name it," you continue, lifting your head up to look at him, but neither of you pull away from the hug.
"Helping you out is enough for me. I don't need anything."
"I'm gonna get you something," you declare with a soft pout. "I feel like I don't do anything in return for everything you do for me."
"Well, the kitchen has been used a lot more since you moved in," he responds, which makes you giggle. "You make me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And it's good every time, so that's good enough in my book."
You roll your eyes. "Of course, you would say something like that," you state. "Seriously, what do you want?" you ask softly, and you watch his face fall as you wait for his answer.
Is this the time to tell you how he really feels? That all he wants to finally be with you and take your relationship further? Even though he's standing so close to you, he finds that he feels confident to just straight up tell you, but that fear is still there, and it makes him hesitate.
You both jump away from each other when someone calls your name, and Kobori moves to the side so you can see who it is. "Himari! Did you need something?" you ask warmly, your face becoming hot as you think about the position you were just caught in.
"I was wondering if your friend was here," she answers, walking over to where you're standing. "You didn't tell us your boyfriend would be here to help you set up!"
Your mouth drops open as Kobori chokes, turning to the side to get himself together. "He's not--we're not--" You sigh as you compose yourself. "We're just friends. He's the one who took me in after that fire at my apartment."
"Oh! Sorry about that," she laughs, and you just give her a tight-lipped smile.
"And I forgot to ask my friend to come, but Kobori said he would step in." You can see that his ears are red as they shake hands, introducing themselves.
"What do you do?" Himari asks.
"I'm a firefighter." You give her a stern look when she gives you a playful glance, already experiencing so much embarrassment in such little time.
"The kids will love that for sure. Thanks for volunteering," she says. "If you need any help just let me know," she tells you before she makes her leave.
The air is a bit tense, so you quickly change the subject before the silence gets to be too much. "You can go home and get some rest. Thanks for helping me lug all of this stuff in here."
"Are you sure you don't need me to do anything?"
You shake your head. "Nope, I'm sure. Just please go home and sleep. I made you breakfast, but it's probably cold by now."
"I'll enjoy it regardless," he smiles. "See you later." You smile at him, watching him leave, and when you know he's out of earshot, you plop down in your desk chair before folding your top half forward, letting your head hit the desk.
~
You've finished putting the final touches on your classroom, happy that it turned out the way that you wanted. You check the time on your phone, seeing that it's almost time for the kids to come back from lunch. You turn around when you hear someone walk into the room, and you smile when you see Kobori walking in, but with some gear in his hands.
"What's this?" you ask, meeting him halfway.
"I stopped by work on the way here to get some stuff. And all this stuff is new, so you don't have to worry about anything," he tells you, and your heart warms as you look at the fire gear.
"You're really something else, Koji," you tell him, and then you hear the noises and footsteps of the kids in the distance. You write his name on the board as the kids pile in, telling him that there's no need for him to be nervous. You give him a rundown of what he's supposed to say as all of your kids find their seats, and you turn to them once it's time to start.
"Okay, kids!" you start, getting their attention, and they quiet down soon after. "As you all know, today is career day, and you'll all be going to different classrooms to learn about different jobs that people have." You grab Kobori's arm softly to bring him up to your side. "Today, my friend, Kobori, is here today to talk to you guys. Please make sure you're listening, and if you can, hold all of your questions until the end, alright?" When the kids nod, you give Kobori the floor, and you softly reassure him when you see that he's a bit nervous.
You move your chair so that you're sitting with the kids, and you give him a small thumbs-up before he starts talking. You smile softly once he starts, the kids already knowing what he does when he asks them, the firefighter jacket and hat a dead giveaway.
Kobori was nervous, but he honestly seems to be in his element as he talks, and you're so grateful that he offered to step in. Your attention starts to get diverted a bit when he starts to move his hands as he talks, and suddenly the only thing you're focused on is how good he looks in his uniform. You curl your lips into your mouth as you try to pay attention to what he's saying, but it's really hard for you.
He practically fills out the clothes he's wearing, and you don't know how you didn't notice before. He glances at you every now and then, so you try to keep an engaged look on your face even though your eyes drift across his body. You internally shake your head, telling yourself to get it together. He's helped you out immensely and now you're thinking about him like this?
You're about to zone out again, but Kobori stops talking, looking your way, and you quickly realize that he must be done. You swiftly stand, clearing your throat and the not-so-nice thoughts from your head before you speak.
"Everyone give him a round of applause," you say, walking toward the front of the classroom. "Does anyone have any questions?" you ask when you get to Kobori, and you laugh softly when you hear Kobori sigh under his breath at the amount of hands that go up.
The questions range from all kinds of things to what's the coolest thing he's done to how tall the ladder is. He passes the hat around so that all the kids can see it, and he lets others try on the jacket if they want to. It's almost time for the kids to switch rooms, so you let them talk amongst themselves for the last few minutes.
One of your students brings the hat back to Kobori, and he crouches down so that he can softly take it from her. "Did you save Ms. y/n from the fire?" she asks him quietly, and he laughs softly as he nods.
"Yes, I did. I had to break the door down because the handles get too hot," he says. She nods, and she's always been quiet, so you know she's going to get her questions out now.
"Do you ever get scared?"
"All the time," he answers quickly. "But it's okay to be scared. If you don't let it control you, it can help you in intense situations like that." She nods again, but doesn't say anything after that, and you watch Kobori look at her for a split second.
"Can we see the fire truck?"
"I'm not too sure. Do you wanna see it?"
"Yeah, but it's really loud. It hurts my ears," she tells him, and he sits down on the floor, stretching his leg out to reach into his pocket.
"Here," he says softly. "We wear headphones in the truck that make the sirens hurt less, but these earplugs do the same thing." She gently takes them from him. "If the truck comes, you can wear these, and your ears won't hurt, okay?"
She smiles as she nods, looking over them. "Thank you."
"Of course," he says, giving her a big smile.
You announce that your class has to switch rooms, and you make sure they're lined up before you allow them to leave. You didn't mention that Kobori would have to repeat his whole speech a lot of times, and you get him some water in between the short breaks that he has.
Every time a new group of kids comes in, you find yourself in those same cycle of thoughts, and they're only fueled when you see Kobori interacting with the kids. You have half a mind to just walk out; you don't know how much more of this you can take. It's balanced out a little though when you have the kids tell him thank you afterwards, and he smiles so bright it makes your heart skip a beat.
Once your kids get back into the room, there's only about an hour until they all go home, so you let them have free time until then. You're sitting at your desk, trying your hardest not to laugh a Kobori, who's sitting beside you, but in a chair for the kids.
"I can't thank you enough for doing this," you tell him as you continuously look at the kids, keeping an eye on them.
"It was really no problem. This was fun," he tells you, and your face seriously hurts from smiling.
"Mr. Kobori, you saved Ms. y/n from the fire, right?!" you both suddenly hear, turning your attention to the crowd as you try to figure out who asked.
"Yes, I did," he answers with a laugh, groaning quietly as he stands up. All of your kids run up to him, and that's when you notice that they all have cards in their hands, making you wonder when they made them.
"Thank you for saving her! She's the best teacher ever!" He laughs as he takes all of the cards, and you pout softly, hoping that you don't start crying.
"You guys are so sweet!" you say, looking with Kobori has he flips through them.
"You guys are very welcome. She definitely is the best teacher ever," he agrees, and you glance away shyly.
"Are you guys dating?" one of your students asks, and your eyes go wide as you look at her.
"What makes you say that?" you croak, the question so sudden it catches the both of you off-guard. "We're just friends," you laugh, hoping that Kobori can't see how awkward you feel.
"Mr. Kobori looks at you the same way my daddy looks at my mommy!" she continues, and you swallow thickly, barely sparing a glance.
"Yeah! Like you're in love!" The class erupts into laughter and chorus' of 'eww', and you don't know what else to do other than to let your head fall down.
"Okay, okay," you start, releasing a breathy laugh that does nothing to relax your body. "Everyone get packed up so everyone can go home," you softly order, and they quickly move over to their stuff as you sigh before turning to Kobori.
"So sorry about that. They can get a little out of hand," you wince.
"Don't worry about it," he chuckles, looking down at the cards in his hands. "This is definitely the highlight of my week," he continues, holding the cards up.
"I'm glad you had fun, Koji," you respond warmly.
You're looking at the kids again, and you jump out of your skin when you hear a loud noise. The kids immediately react, running over to the window, and both you and Kobori follow, seeing that there's a fire truck pulling into the parking lot. "Did you do this?"
"No," he scoffs, and the both of you roll your eyes when you see Kise step out of the truck first. All of the classrooms have another door that leads outside in case of emergencies, and Kobori exits out that way while you try to corral your kids.
"What are you guys doing here?" Kobori asks when he gets to the truck as he watches his co-workers get out.
"You never said anything about the truck," Kise starts. "And you can't have a firefighter at a career day without the truck!" Kobori shakes his head as Moriyama comes into view. "Now, where are the kiddos?"
"Inside," Kobori answers. "This was unexpected, so now everyone has to get them to calm down. I'll be right back."
You let Kobori back in, and he tells you what's going on. "Is it okay if they all go out there?" he asks.
"Yeah, I don't see why not. Do you mind staying with the kids while I go talk to the other teachers?" He shakes his head, and you quickly thank him before you make your leave, announcing to the kids that they have to listen to him while you're gone.
It takes a minute, but the kids are allowed to go into the parking lot to see the truck, so you spend the next ten minutes getting the kids in order so that they can go outside. You know it's taking everything in them not to run toward the truck, and the all bounce excitedly as they look at the truck.
Kise, of course, takes over with the talking, and you don't think you've stopped smiling since you've made it outside. The kids ask all kinds of questions, but they mostly want to see what the inside of the truck looks like. You and the other teachers split your kids up so that they can see different parts of the trucks, and they rotate through.
When your group gets to the truck, the kids all make their way inside, most of them wanting to hear all the noises the truck makes. Once the kids are done going through the truck, they're taken to their parents, and the last one left in your group is your student that Kobori talked to earlier.
He's sitting in the truck, softly gesturing for her to come forward, but she looks hesitant. He gets out of the truck, walking over to her and lowering himself to her level. "You don't have to get in the truck if you don't want to." She looks over it, and Kobori keeps his eyes on her. "You still have those earplugs I gave you?"
She nods, pulling them out of her pocket. "It's okay to be scared, remember?" he reminds her. "You still wanna go inside?" He takes the earplugs from her when she nods, and he carefully puts them in her ears, making sure they're in properly.
He gently picks her up before climbing into the truck, and she sits on the seat next to him. He puts the headphones on just in case she wants to turn on anything, but for the time being she just looks around. You're standing outside of the truck, watching with a big smile on your face, and Himari walks up to you.
"Are you sure he's not your boyfriend?" Your smile drops temporarily as you roll your eyes, but it's back the moment your eyes land on Kobori and your student. "You're living with a man like that, and you're not dating him?"
"It's complicated," you say quietly, and that's all you can really manage. "But he was really good with the kids today," you add.
"And how did you handle that?"
Your head immediately falls to her shoulder. "My ovaries are gonna explode," you mumble, which makes her laugh loudly. "The kids all gave him cards thanking him for saving me." You groan, letting your body slump before you lift your head up.
You see that she's sitting on Kobori's lap so that she can reach the handle for the horn, and he pulls it with her after he counts down. You and Himari cover your ears as the horn goes off, and you chuckle when you see Kobori and her laugh.
He carefully gets out of the truck with her, setting her down once he's out, taking the headphones off. A surprised look is on his face when she suddenly hugs him, and he crouches down so he can hug her back. "Thank you, Mr. Kobori."
"You're welcome, sweetheart."
Himari smirks at you before she walks away to take the girl to her parents, and Kobori walks over to you. "Thanks for doing that, Kobori," you tell him. "She's had a rough couple of weeks, so I know you really made her happy today."
"Ah, it was nothing. The kids were great," he responds. "Thanks for letting me do this."
"No, thank you for stepping in. You really saved my ass today," you scoff before both of you laugh. "I think this will make me the talk of the school for a while."
"I'm glad I could help," he chuckles.
Kobori talks to his friends for a bit before they leave, and he follows you back into your classroom to help you clean up. You don't have to carry as much stuff as you did this morning, and he offers to carry it for you, but you know that he's not going to take no for an answer.
You walk to the car, both of you feeling the day catching up to you, and you decide to just get food on the way home since you don't feel like cooking. You pay for it, feeling you need to do something to even slightly pay Kobori back for what he did today.
You both shower after you eat, sitting on the couch as you both unwind for the day. Kobori told you that his boss gave him the shift off, so he'll be home for the rest of the night. You're glad that you get to spend more time with him, but after the day you've had, you really don't want to sleep on the couch.
You don't voice that aloud, deciding that after what happened today, you don't think your feelings need anymore reason to grow. You yawn loudly, the sun going down hours ago, and you tell Kobori that you're going to turn in for the night.
You go to the bathroom to do your night routine, and when you come back, you see that Kobori's still sitting on the couch. He's got his head laying against the back with his eyes closed, but the open when he hears you walking closer to him. "Go get in the bed, Koji. You had a long day today."
"I'll take the couch, I don't mind."
"Kobori, really, you can take the bed. It's your place after all," you laugh. He doesn't respond, and he looks at the TV for a beat before his eyes focus on you again.
"We could both take the bed," he offers, and you raise your eyebrows. "I mean, it probably wouldn't do us good to sleep on the couch anyway."
You don't really have it in you to argue even though right now, it's the last thing you want, but you're tired. You softly agree, and when he turns off the TV, the silence really solidifies what's about to happen. You've already been through this, but that was when you were both sick and miserable, so you weren't really worried baout anything other than feeling better.
But now, you're both completely fine, and you're about to be in the same bed. You can feel your heart pounding as you walk to the room, your hearing so focused on his footsteps, it's nearly deafening. You make your way to your side of the bed, having a hard time making eye contact with him, and he waits until you're in the bed to turn the light off.
You rub your thumb over your hand as you listen to him slide in next to you, and it takes you a moment to realize that you're not breathing. You try to take a quiet breath, wondering if you'll even be able to go to sleep. "I know I've said this a million times today, but thank you so much for today," you say, turning your head to look at him, and you want to look away, seeing that he's way too close.
"Of course. Seeing you smiling today was worth it," he responds, and you chew on the inside of your lip, not being able to conceal your smile. "Kise was upset that he wasn't there though, but I think that was because the kids gave me the cards."
You both laugh softly. "Well, it was last minute," you whisper. "And I honestly wasn't expecting that either. I had no idea that they were planning that."
"Should I put them on the fridge?" he asks, and you bravely roll over, sliding your arm under your pillow to brace your head.
"I don't know if there will be enough room," you huff playfully. "We could try though. You could bring some to work!"
Kobori eventually rolls over too, and the both of you talk quietly until your eyes start to feel heavy. You fall asleep first, giving him a mumbled 'goodnight' as you finally drift off, and Kobori can't help but watch you. When he starts to feel his eyes getting heavy, he makes sure that the last thing he sees before he falls asleep is you.
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Your car had to be taken to the shop to get it fixed, so Kobori has been driving you to and from work. You tried to at least pay him for gas, but he wouldn't let you, and no matter how hard you tried, he never backed down. He had to change his hours because of it, and he's practically on the same schedule as you, but it's just enough to where you're not sharing a bed every night.
But the times that you do, you both always skirt around the idea of sharing the bed again until you give in because of how tired you are. And every morning you wake up, the two of you are close to each other even though when you fell asleep the night before, you were on your respective sides of the bed. The first few times it happened, neither of you could look at each for a while, but now it's become routine.
It makes Kobori ridiculously happy to see you the moment he opens his eyes. There's been many times when he's woken up before your alarm with you in his arms, and he just takes the time before it goes off to admire you. He scolded himself at first for being weird, but slowly, he pushed those thoughts away. This might be the closest he can get to you without having to worry about what to say, and he'll take whatever he can get.
Since it's the weekend, neither of you are working, and you wanted to go out since you hadn't really been out anywhere recently. You told Kobori that you were planning on going out, and you were surprised when he said that he'd tag along. You just chalked it up to be because he didn't want you driving his car, so you didn't question it any further.
You both woke up late today, so you decided to stop for brunch at that restaurant that you used to go to in college. Being here again with Kobori makes you think about how long you've been living with him. Your apartment was rebuilt months ago, but you never told Kobori, and he never asked you about it. At the time, you felt like there was no reason because you only wanted to be near him. But now, you don't even know how you would bring that up in conversation, so you just leave it alone.
After you've finished eating, you wanted to get some more lotion and candles, so Kobori drives over to the store. Kobori's immediately overwhelmed by the smells the moment you step inside, and you grab a basket as you chuckle at his reaction. "You've never been in here before?" you question as you start to walk around, Kobori following behind you closely as he looks around.
"No, but my mom talks about this place all the time." You start with the lotion, smelling all the new scents that they have along with the body spray. Every time you smell one that you really like, you put it in the basket, and Kobori takes it from you so that you can have your hands free. He follows you around as you smell everything, and you get a point where you know that you have too much.
You have Kobori smell them, and whatever he doesn't really care for, you put back. You head over to the men's section, always wanting to see what new smells they have. Kobori smiles when you smell something that you don't like, shaking your head before putting it back.
"Oh, my God, that smells amazing," you breathe, holding it over to Kobori. He nods as he smells it, agreeing with you before you smell it again, sighing heavily. "Is there anything you wanna get?" you ask him as you put the lotion back. "It's buy three, get three free."
"I'll just get he one that you just had," he answers.
"But you didn't smell any of the other ones," you laugh as you grab the lotion.
"Well, you liked it, so that's enough for me. I don't know if my nose can handle anything else," he responds. You huff as you shake your head, telling him to get anything else that he wants, and you try to not focus on how he gets the same scent twice to balance out the sale.
You make your way over to the candles, and you want him to smell them since you usually light them around the apartment. "You think this would be good for the living room?" you question as you smell it before holding it to him. When you see his nose scrunch a certain way (that definitely doesn't make your heart flutter), you know that he doesn't really care for it, so you put it back.
"You guys are the cutest!" an older woman whispers, and Kobori's too invested in the candles to hear her, and you smile softly as you laugh, thanking her quietly. Your face warms as you turn your attention back to the display, seeing that Kobori's got a candle in his hand, waiting for you to smell it.
You pick out a few before you're finally done, making your way to register. You get all of the coupons that you need to make sure that you'll get the discounts you need, and you count everything to make sure you don't have too many items. The cashier scans everything, commenting on a couple of the scents you got, and they tell you the total while you're talking with them.
You got so caught up that you didn't even get your card out, and as you're trying to do so, Kobori hands over his. "You don't have to do that. I dragged you out here."
"I don't mind," he dismisses gently as he signs his signature on the screen.
"Kobori," you sigh, your voice borderline a whine, and he grabs the bags when the cashier hands them to him. "Okay, we go somewhere you want, and I pay for it," you declare when you get to the car.
"We don't have to do that," he laughs as you both get into the car.
"There has to be somewhere you want to go," you urge. "There isn't anything you're looking to get?"
"I mean, there's a couple of things," he mumbles as he pulls out of the parking lot.
"Then let's go! Go wherever you want, you're driving," you say, and he knows that you won't take no for an answer. He drives to a sporting goods store, mentioning something about wanting to get new shoes, and since you're already out, he'll just look in the store instead of online.
You follow him through the store as he looks for the shoes section, and he gets to the basketball section, looking at all of them as he tries to find a pair that he likes. "What do you need new basketball shoes for?" you question as he grabs a pair.
"We're hosting a charity basketball tournament," he answers as he sits down on one of the benches. "My last pair are definitely not in good shape, so I figured I should get new ones."
"When is all of this happening?"
"In a couple of weeks, so Kise, Moriyama, and I were gonna go to the gym and get some reps in. It's been forever since I've played," he laughs. You know that they continued to play pick-up after they graduated whenever their other teammates were in town, but they hadn't played for a while now.
He goes through a couple of pairs before he finds the ones that he likes, and he grabs the box with the correct size. "Is there anything else you wanna look at?" you ask as you start to walk away. "I don't mind if you want to."
You walk around with him as he looks through the clothes, not too sure if it's something he wants to get, but he just decides to look anyway. He only gets a couple of things, and once he's done, you make your way to the register. "You seriously don't have to do this," he tells you as you insert your card into the reader.
"Yes, I do," you laugh, removing your card after it tells you to. "You paid for my stuff, so now I'm paying for yours." You proudly hand him the bag as you walk out of the store, and he can only smile at you as you make your way through the doors.
There's a gaming store in the strip of buildings, so you offer to go there next. He tries to deny it, but you know he wants to go inside, so you grab his hand to drag him over there. "Come on, Kobori, there has to be something in here that you want," you press softly, not letting go of his hand even when you're already in the store.
Neither of you makes a move to let your hands go, and Kobori takes a deep breath before he laces your fingers together. You don't seem to notice since you're talking about the new games that are out, and if you do, you don't say anything. You follow closely behind as he looks through the store, and you try not to focus all of your attention on how his hand feels against yours.
He ends up picking out a couple of games, and you make sure he doesn't make a move to reach for his wallet so that you can pay. You walk out of the store, satisfied with yourself, and Kobori gives you a fond look as he mindlessly reaches for your hand. He's about to stop himself when his fingers brush against your hand, realizing what he's about to do, but you grab his hand before he can do so.
Kobori's smile widens as you walk to the car, listening to whatever you're saying, and he only lets go of your hand when you get to the car. Kobori doesn't let himself dwell on the fact that he's not holding your hand anymore, keeping his attention on the conversation. You decided that both of you had spent enough money today, so you offer to just cook at home.
"Thank you for buying this stuff, even though you really shouldn't have," he tells you as you walk to his door.
"You're welcome, and of course, I did."
You make something quick, both of you moving to the couch to eat, and in the back of his head, Kobori wishes that your car would take just a little bit longer at the shop. He knows how selfish that sounds, but he's spent way more time with you now than when you moved in. Not having your car just gave him the excuse to do something that he's wanted to do for a while, but he could never get himself to bring it up.
He doesn't know if he'll be able to ask you to hang out like this once your car is fixed, but he's pretty sure you like spending time with him as much as he likes spending time with you. Kise and Moriyama are still in the back of his head, telling him that your feelings are mutual, but you and he have been living together for so long now that it makes him even more anxious to confess.
He doesn't know what he'll do if he ruins what he has with you, and he knows that he'll find himself in the same position he was when you graduated college and he realized he wouldn't be seeing you as much. For now, he just declares that he'll keep his feelings pushed to the side so that he can stay happy right now. He just hopes it doesn't backfire on him any time soon.
~
The charity tournament that Kobori mentioned to you sneaks up on both of you quickly, and Kobori said that you didn't have to be there as early as he did, but you wanted to come with him anyway since he helped you set up and clean up for career day. You have to get there super early, and you momentarily regret saying that you would leave with him when you hear the ring of your alarm.
Kobori's firehouse is playing against other firehouses in the area, and the winner gets to donate the money raised to a charity of their choice. Money is raised in different ways, from confession sales to the raffles that they're hosting, so more than one charity can get donations. You find a seat on the bleachers as the first game starts since Kobori's team plays first.
Watching him play takes you back to when you would go to his games in college and high school. You always enjoyed watching him because he always looked like he was having the time of his life while playing...you also enjoyed watching him because of how good he looked. This time is obviously no different except for the fact that he somehow looks so much better now.
You know he's gotten bigger since you graduated, mostly because of how heavy the firefighter gear can be, but it seems like the jersey he's wearing is too small for him, and you're close to just buying him a whole new wardrobe that doesn't hug his body. Kobori did tell you that the jersey was a little tight, but you weren't expecting it to be like another skin.
Kasamatsu shows up when the game is halfway through, sitting next to you. You're grateful for the distraction as you catch up with him, half of your attention on the game while the other half is on him until it ends. You both meet up with your friends after the game is over as they celebrate their win. Kobori talks to Kasamatsu briefly before he turns his attention to you.
"Congrats on the win! I think you guys might be the best team here," you say, which makes him laugh softly, using his jersey to wipe the sweat from his forehead, and it takes everything in you to not look down.
"Thanks," he sighs. "I'm definitely not used to playing like this anymore, but the shoes feel great," he continues, and you smile up at him.
"Then you can thank me after you win this whole thing," you tease, making him roll his eyes.
Kobori's off for the next game, so he sits on the bleachers with you along with Kasamatsu, Kise, and Moriyama. Once the game is close to finishing, Kobori mentions that he's feeling a little hungry, so you lead him out of the gym into the lobby area where there are tables set up.
You lead him to the one that has a poster with his firehouse on it, and he notices that it's covered in food. "It's a snack table!" you inform him, holding your hands out toward it. "Some of the wives mentioned it to me this morning while you were warming up, so I wanted to contribute too, but if there's nothing here that you want, I can go get you something."
You're looking over the table, waiting for Kobori to say something, but when he doesn't, you look at him to see that he's staring right at you. "What?" you question quietly. "Do you want me to go get you something?"
He's smiling at you, and for a split second, he doesn't say anything until he shakes his head. "No, I'm okay with this. Thank you," he tells you softly.
"Of course! We all want you guys to play your best, so eat up!"
Once he gets what he wants, you walk back into the gym to see that the game is over, and Kobori eats his snacks while the team warms up. You find your spot on the bleachers with Kasamatsu again, cheering once they're about to start the game.
Kobori's team wins the rest of the games, only one of them being pretty close for comfort, and now they have to wait for the bracket play to start. While they're figuring out the brackets, they're given a lunch break, and you had gone out to get Kobori something more filling. He thanks you before he nearly swallows it whole, your eyes widening when you see that he's almost done even though you swore you took your eyes off of him for a few minutes.
You can see that he's getting a bit tired, his body slumping a bit, and you gently guide him to lie down as you chuckle at him. He stretches out on the bleachers, and when he goes to lie down, his head lands on your thigh. "Sorry," he mumbles, getting ready to move down a bit, but you stop him, telling him it's okay.
He's too tired to deny, and he carefully lays his head on your lap as he blinks slowly. He watches you talk to some of the women that you mentioned earlier when you were talking about the snack table, and he fights sleep for a little bit to watch you. He smiles as you engage in the conversation, and all he can think about is how happy he is right now.
When you mentioned the snack table, it seemed like his whole world stopped for a bit, and it made him realize how madly in love with you he is. All he could think about was what it would be like if you were actually together, actually married. You've been there for him for so long, and he never thought he could express how much that really meant to him. You were there to comfort him after every game he lost, and you were there to celebrate every game that he won.
You look down at him, and you smile when you see that he's still awake, but you can barely see his eyes. "Go to sleep, Koji," you order quietly, and his eyes finally slip closed when he feels your fingers gently run over his face. It doesn't take long for him to fall asleep, his body finally relaxing as he succumbs to it, and when he wakes up, it feels like all he had done was blink.
He definitely feels more energized after taking the nap, especially after seeing you when he finally opened his eyes. He sighs softly as he sits up, turning his head from side to side to get rid of the stiffness in his neck. He's going to have a long string of games coming up, so he's mentally preparing himself for that.
He takes one step down from where he was laying when you call his name. He turns around, and since you're standing up, he has to lift his head to look at you. "You're gonna do great! Good luck!" He smiles before he nods, and he makes his way onto the court, your words making him feel more confident.
~
Kobori is absolutely exhausted, but his team managed to win the whole tournament. He has just enough energy left to celebrate and take a couple of pictures, and once that's over, he's grabbing his stuff so that he can take his shoes off. He can hear your voice, and he looks up to see you running over to him. He holds his arms out because he already knows what's coming, and you jump into him to give him a hug.
"You did it! And you played so well!" He doesn't let you go, keeping you in his arms because it's the best feeling in the world right now, and also because he's about two seconds from falling over. "Congratulations!"
"Thank you, but you were the reason I was able to even make it this far," he responds, and you roll your eyes.
"You always say that. You were the one that did all of the playing."
"And I was able to do that because you were supporting me," he counters, and you can't help but laugh as you shake your head.
You let him go so that he can take his shoes off, and while he's doing that, you help with some of the clean up. He's dragging his feet as he walks out of the gym, briefly talking to his teammates as he looks for you. When he finally finds you, you're saying goodbye to your friends, walking away from them when you see Kobori.
He silently follows you out of the building, and he's so glad that you drove today because he doesn't think he'd be able to make it. You only make one stop on the way home, and that's to pick up some food for him to eat, and he's making a b-line for the shower the moment he gets inside.
He slowly fills his stomach when he gets out of the shower, feeling like he could fall asleep any minute now. After he finishes eating, you throw all of the trash away before you drag him into his room. You've barely pulled the sheets back before he's flopping onto the bed, the fatigue really seeming to hit him once he lies down.
You didn't even bother turning the light on since you knew he'd be out in a second, and you pull the covers over him. "Night, Kobori," you whisper, and he responds with a low hum. You turn around to make your leave, already showered and ready to go to sleep yourself, when you feel his hand softly grab your wrist.
"Where are you going?" he mumbles, and you take a step back as you look at him.
"I'm going to sleep," you huff softly, turning around to fully face him.
"Just sleep here. C'mon," he urges, gently pulling you toward the bed. You can't find it in you to fight him and you chuckle quietly as you climb into bed. You barely have the covers over your body before he's pulling you into him, wrapping his arm around your waist. You lay your head on his chest as you yawn, rubbing your hand over his chest. "Night," he murmurs.
"Goodnight, Kobori," you repeat with a smile around your lips, and his even breathing after he falls asleep is what eventually puts you to sleep shortly after.
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You wake up to your phone ringing, groaning softly as you roll over to see who's calling you so late in the night. Or early in the morning when you see that's three in the morning, and you're so glad that you don't have to work. It's a number you don't recognize, so you silence your phone before rolling back over.
You're about to drift back off when your phone rings for a second time. You huff loudly as you roll back over, seeing it's the same number calling you, so you pick up, getting ready to give the person on the other line a piece of your mind. "Hello?" you sigh heavily, your voice thick with sleep.
"Am I speaking to y/n?"
"Yes, who is this?" you question as you frown, sitting up.
"I'm calling from the hospital. It's about Kobori, and he listed you as his emergency contact." Your body goes tense at her words, your eyes widening as you quickly throw the covers off of you.
"Oh, my God. Is he okay?" you ask as you frantically look for some clothes to put on, sleep no longer evident in your body.
"Yes. He's doing just fine. We just wanted to let you know." You sigh heavily as you take a moment to take a breath before you make your way to the front door.
"Okay, thank you so much. I'm on my way." You hang up the phone, put your shoes on, and grab your keys before you make your way to your car.
You're anxious the whole drive on the way to the hospital, your fingers gripping the steering wheel so tight, they start to ache a bit. You practically run into the building, finding your way to the front desk. "I'm here to see Kobori," you tell one of the people at the front desk, your chest heaving, and they lead you through the floor with nurses and doctors running around.
They lead you to the room, and you gasp when you see Kobori lying on the hospital bed, way more bruised and battered than when he left the apartment last night. He's sleeping when you walk in, and you quietly make your way into the room, feeling your heart break as you look at him.
"Oh, my God," you whisper softly, looking at the cuts and bruises all over his face and arms. The nurse tells you that the doctor will be back in to check on him within the next hour, and you nod, barely paying any attention to them as you give them a soft thank you.
You grab one of the chairs, pick it up, and carefully place it on the floor near the bed. You sigh as you sit down, and he stirs a bit, blinking before he opens his eyes. He looks around, and he gives you a small smile when he sees you sitting there. "What are you doing here?"
"They called me and told me you were here," you answer, as you lean forward. "What happened?"
He sighs as he shakes his head. "The building I was in suddenly had an explosion, and I was near it when it happened. None of us were expecting it."
"Are you okay?" you ask even though he looks far from it right now.
"I'm just fine. Besides a concussion, a knee sprain, and some nasty cuts and bruises."
Your eyes widen. "You sound far from fine!" you respond lowly before you sigh as you let your head fall.
"Sorry, they woke you up. I didn't know they were gonna call you."
You look up at him as you huff, smiling a bit. "I'm your emergency contact. Of course, they're gonna call me, you doofus," you say lightly, and he smiles widely. "When did you do that anyway?"
"A while ago," he answers. "I figured since we were living together, it would make the most sense, I guess." You don't want to admit how hearing him say that makes your heart race. Even though you're nowhere near dating, just him saying those words enough to make you wish even more that you were. "I'm sorry again that you were woken up."
"Kobori, don't apologize. It's okay. All that matters is that you're okay." You softly place your hand on his, and he quickly turns it over so that he can hold it. "I guess I should do the same," you say. "Right now my parents are listed, but it wouldn't hurt to add you too."
He nods, groaning when he shifts a bit. "Okay, maybe I'm not that fine," he sighs, and you shake your head as you laugh softly.
The doctor comes back a little while later, saying that Kobori's going to have to stay for a few more hours so they can monitor him, and he's given some more medicine before the doctor leaves. "You don't have to stay here. You're probably still tired."
You shake your head. "I don't wanna leave you alone. I'll be fine," you say right before you yawn. "That was really bad timing," you say quickly after, and he huffs a bit. "I probably wouldn't be able to go back to sleep knowing that you're here anyway."
He smiles as he adjusts his head on the pillow. "Alright," he sighs. "Hearing all of the beeping was kinda making my ears ring anyway." The both of you laugh softly, and your hand never lets go of his as you talk.
The doctor comes in a while later to check on him, saying that he should be released soon, and even though Kobori urges you to go, you stay. It's not like you have to go to work today anyway, so you have nothing else to do.
He sleeps for a little bit, and you do the same, but you're in and out of sleep since you can't position yourself comfortably in the chair. You decide to try and get some caffeine in your system, so you find vending machine to see if there's anything that could help. You end up settling for a couple of snacks since you hadn't eaten before walking back to Kobori's room.
"Are you feeling a little bit better?" you ask when you walk back in the room, seeing that he's awake. You sit down in the chair as he sighs.
"Kinda. The medicine is helping," he whispers, and you look over him again as you eat. You try not to let your thoughts derail too bad, refusing to think about what this situation would look like if it was worse. You just focus on the fact that he's okay, and that he didn't get hurt too severely.
"We'll be home before you know it," you tell him warmly, and he gives you a sleepy smile.
When you finish eating, you throw the trash away, and when you try to sit back down, Kobori softly grabs your wrist. "Lay with me," he mumbles when you give him a questioning look.
"Can I?" you ask, wondering if there's even enough room for you to do so.
"You need to sleep to. It'll be fine," he urges, and you don't really have it in you to fight him. You move over to the side of the bed away from his bad knee, sitting down carefully before you lay down. You sigh heavily as you lay on him, this being an immense improvement from the chair.
He wraps his arm around you, and you close your eyes as you feel him rub and down your side softly. Lying with him has become such as routine that you don't even blink at it anymore. It does still make your heart race just a bit because he's someone that you really like, but it doesn't make you nervous anymore.
You peel your eyes open again for a second, and you see that he has his arm resting on his stomach. Before you can even think about it, you reach out to run your fingers across the cuts and bruises that decorate the skin. "Does it hurt?" you ask quietly, and he lifts his hand so that he can lace his fingers with yours.
"Not really. The pain from my head and knee kinda block it out," he answers, your head moving with every word he says.
You bring his hand up so that you can kiss it gently. "I'm glad you're okay, Kobori. Well, kinda?" you add, and you smile when you hear him huff.
"Yeah, me too," he whispers. You both go quiet after a while, and you figure Kobori must've gone back to sleep when you hear him snoring softly. You close your eyes as you fully relax, falling asleep as well.
~
Kobori's released from the hospital a few hours later with some medicine and instructions on how to take care of his wounds. He was offered a wheelchair, but he refused, wanted to use the crutches instead. He tests them out before he leaves, making sure that he's not putting any pressure on his knee, and you walk with him out of the hospital.
He's got a brace on his knee to help, and you move the passenger seat back far enough to where he won't have to bend it. Once he's settled into the car, you put the crutches in the back seat before you get in and drive back home.
You offer to make him something to eat when you get inside, helping him sit down on the couch. You turn on the TV, handing the remote after before making your way to the kitchen. You make some food for yourself as well since you haven't add a proper meal, bringing it into the living room when you're done.
He's still pretty tired after eating, so you help him into bed, making sure he's comfortable before going back to clean the kitchen. You're pretty tired yourself, and you decide that you can put your work off for a little bit longer since it's spring break anyway. When you go back into the room after finishing in the kitchen, you see that Kobori's still awake.
"You're supposed to be sleeping," you scold softly, walking over to the bed.
"You need to sleep too," he responds, making you roll your eyes. You get in the bed on the other side, immediately gravitating to him, and you focus your attention on the TV.
The last thing you remember is looking at the TV, but the next thing you know, the sun is starting to go down. You knew you were tired, but not tired enough to sleep the day away. You stir a bit when you notice that Kobori's chest seems to be rising and falling faster than it should be. You frown as you try to sit up so that you can look at him, but that's when you feel how tight he's holding you.
You move your body so that you can crane your head up to look at him, and you realize that he's dreaming when you're finally able to look at him. It doesn't take you long to figure out that he's having a nightmare, and you try your best to wake him up in the position you're in.
You shake him gently, calling his name, and when it doesn't work, you shake him harder and say his name even louder. When he finally wakes up, he jumps slightly as he gasps, his arm tightening around you even more before he finally relaxes. You can finally move now that he's not holding you so tight, and you instantly sit up, resting your weight on your elbow as you move further up the bed.
"You're okay, Kobori," you console softly, and when you gently touch his face, and you can feel the thin layer of sweat on his skin. "Just breathe." You can feel how his heart is racing when you rub over his chest as he catches his breath, closing his eyes for a split second before he looks at you.
"You're okay?" he asks, and your eyebrows raise for a bit before you face softens.
"Yeah. I'm right here," you answer with a nod. "I'm okay." You rub your thumb over his cheek as his hand comes up to cup your face, his motion following yours. His body relaxes again once it seems like he has confirmation that you're fine, and he looks at the ceiling.
"Sorry."
"Koji, you don't have to apologize," you respond quickly. "All that matters is that you know it wasn't real."
"But it felt so real. I thought--I thought I lost you. I couldn't save you," he rushes out, and your heart hurts listening to him.
You guide him to look at you. "You'll never lose me, Koji. I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He looks over your face for a while before he nods, and you kiss him on the forehead. "How about you hop in the shower? That might help," you offer, and he nods but he doesn't move.
"Yeah," he says. I just want to stay like this for a bit."
"That's okay." You let your head rest next to his, rubbing over his chest until his heart rate starts to become even. When he starts to move, you take that as a sign that he's ready to get up, so you move so that he can.
You grab his crutches, helping him to the bathroom, and you grab a stool from the island to put in the tub so that he doesn't have to stand the whole time. You leave so that he can undress, and you hover in the hallway just to make sure that he doesn't fall or hurt himself. When it sounds like everything's okay, you start to think about dinner as you make your way into the kitchen, keeping your ear tuned in the direction of the bathroom.
You start cooking, hearing the shower turn off a while after, and you hear him walk into the bedroom. You finish prepping, and you slide the dish in the oven before you make your way over to the door. You knock softly, waiting until he gives you the okay to come in.
When you softly push the door open and walk inside, he's sitting on the bed in some shorts, and your steps falter when you see that he has bruises on his chest as well. You try not to look at them, but it's hard for you not to. "Do you feel better?"
"Yeah. My head's a little clearer," he answers.
"That's good. Dinner's in the oven, so it'll be ready in a few." He nods, but doesn't say anything, and you can tell that the dream is still bothering him. You offer to help with his bandages, and the two of you stay silent as you do. You help him prop the pillows up against the headboard so he can rest against them, and you gently rub the cream into his knee, careful to not cause him any pain.
You wash your hands before checking on the food, making sure it's cooked through before you take it out of the oven. You're closing the oven door when you hear something behind you, and you look over to see Kobori walking in. You plate food, setting it in front of him when he sits down at the island before you make yourself a plate.
"Thank you," he says suddenly before you can sit down.
"It's nothing," you laugh. "I do this all the time," you respond as you take a seat.
"No, I mean. Thank you for helping me out," he clarifies.
"Of course. You've helped me out in more ways than one, and I'm just trying to do the same for you."
There's so much more he wants to say, but he decides to just eat instead. He doesn't know if he'd be able to handle his injuries and the mental toll if you weren't here. Finding out that he wouldn't be able to move like he wants to for a while was enough of a damper on his mood, and he knows that seeing his injuries every day would just fuel the fire.
With you being here, it doesn't seem as bad as he thinks it is. Having someone else in the apartment allows him to take his mind off of it even if it's for a split second. He's looking at you while you're talking, but he's only half-listening because he's thinking about how much you're making his situation so much better. He's nodding every now and then to show you that he's hearing you, and he tries to tell himself to pay more attention, but he can't.
He almost lets his feelings slip out as he listens you, and he barely catches himself. You've stopped talking, but you notice that he's still smiling at you. "What?" you question playfully, returning the smile.
"Nothing," he answers lightly with a shake of his head. "I just really appreciate you being here right now."
"You already said that," you laugh.
"Yeah, but I feel like I can't show you how much it means to me," he starts. "Just--Just having you here is making all of this a lot easier."
You grab his hand. "You're welcome, Kobori. You'll bounce back in no time, I know it." And those words are what keeps him from giving up and letting everything consume him.
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Recovery has been going really well for Kobori, and now that the pain is starting to subside a bit, he can go to physical therapy to get his strength back. He's practically itching to get moving again and go back to work even though it really wears him out sometimes. He's been trying to stay active by working out around the house without doing too much with his lower body, but that can only go so far.
Kobori knows that the only reason he's made it this far without going insane is you, and he doesn't even know how he can thank you for that. You've been keeping him from getting down on himself whenever the pain comes back for a little while when he wakes up, and he swears that your words alone make the pain subside. But he's starting to have a little problem.
For a while, he's been noticing how much comfortable you're getting around the house, and he's really happy about that. You've been living here for so long, and it makes him glad that you feel relaxed enough at his place; he wouldn't want it any other way.
He's blaming it on the weather, but you've started showing more skin than before, and he honestly doesn't know how much longer he can handle it. He mentally scolds himself because he knows you're not doing it on purpose, and he wishes he wouldn't let his thoughts run into the gutter, but he can't help it.
Since he hasn't been going to work, he's always up during the day, and he's usually sitting on the couch when you come home from work. He always asks how your day is, and whenever you mention that it was a little rough, he always offers to cook dinner instead. He honestly feels bad when you cook dinner after you come home from work, but you always tell him that you don't mind.
You usually don't eat for a couple of hours after you get off work anyway, so you have plenty of time to decompress before you start cooking. He's started moving to sit at the island when you tell him that dinner's almost done, and he doesn't think he'd be able to admit the reason why. Before, he's always waited until you told him it was ready, but he's found that he enjoys watching you while you cook.
It sounds weird, and you haven't called him out on it, but it makes him smile when he sees how at ease you are especially if you've had a rough day. That's the reason why he does it. He definitely doesn't stare at your ass whenever you're checking the food in the oven, and he definitely doesn't stare when you reach for something on the top shelf, and your shirt rides up, giving a better view of your backside. That's definitely not the reason.
When he catches himself doing that, he flushes as he focuses his eyes on something else, shaking his head as he scolds himself for being a pervert. He tells himself to stop, that he shouldn't do it anymore, but you never make it any easier for him.
When your alarm goes off in the morning, it usually wakes him up, so you try to best to turn it off as quickly as you can. Once you're awake enough, you get out of bed to go to the bathroom, and by the time you come back, Kobori's usually fallen back asleep.
Kobori's just barely asleep when he hears you enter the room again, but he barely stirs since you're careful to not make any noise. He's still sleeping on his back since he doesn't want to risk hurting his knee by trying to move, and he rolls his head to the side as he hears you opening drawers and he barely opens his eyes to see you looking through them.
You find the shirt you're looking for, and before he can close his eyes as he tells himself that this is totally a complete invasion of privacy, you slide your tank top off. Your back is facing him, but even through the slits of his eyelids, he knows that your top half is now exposed. He feels himself growing warm all over as you put your bra on before you slide your shirt on.
He lets his eyes fall closed right before you turn around, and he can hear you walk toward the closet. Even though the voice in his head tells him not to, he opens his eyes again to see you sliding some jeans on, and he doesn't know if he can look anywhere else. He tries his best to think of anything that would turn him off as he closes his eyes again, and he prays that you don't spare him another glance when you walk out of the room.
He sighs heavily before he opens his eyes because all he can see now is you. He can feel himself growing, and he bunches the blanket up to try and make it look less obvious how hard he's starting to get. He nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears you walk in, turning his head to look at you like he just caught got doing something he shouldn't be doing.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?" you ask quietly, and he shakes his head, hoping that you can't see how red he is.
"No, you're all good." Thankfully he yawns, and he smiles when you tell him goodbye, telling you to have a good day in reply before he watches you walk back out again. He sighs again when he hears the front door close, and he knows that he'll have trouble going back to sleep.
It doesn't seem to get any better for him, and he feels like he might go crazy. One morning, he woke up just before your alarm, finding himself staring at your sleeping face before it goes off. He watches you frown in your sleep before you start to wake up, slowly sitting up to turn it off.
Instead of getting up though, you lay back down on him, tucking your face in his neck. He chuckles softly as he wraps his arm around you, but after a few minutes, you're still not moving. "Hey, you have to get up," he whispers softly, rubbing over your shoulder.
"Don't wanna," you mumble, your words muffled by his neck. You groan again as you slowly move, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. Kobori did find the situation amusing, but your chest mushed against his, he can feel how your boobs are pressed against him, and he no longer finds anything about this funny.
You finally sit up, huffing as you do so, and you rest your weight on your hand as you extend your arm, and Kobori wishes he could find a quick way out of this situation. Even though you've sat up, you don't move for a bit, your eyes still closed, and Kobori takes the opportunity to look at your chest. Your tits are right in his face, and he really hopes you don't catch him staring because it would be practically impossible for him not to.
His eyes snap to yours just in time once you move, and he subtly adjusts the blanket over his leg, hoping you can't see his hard-on. You eventually get out of bed, making your way to the bathroom, and he doesn't know how much longer he can take this. Of course, he's helped himself out before, but all the times he's done it, you've been on his mind every time. And then he can't even look at you after he does it, and now that he's home more, he definitely won't be able to even talk to you.
The final nail in the coffin makes him feel the worst because you're just helping him, and your intentions are completely genuine. You always offer to help rub the cream on his knee which is supposed to help with the pain, and even though he's feeling better, he knows that he should still apply it. It was a little much for him at first because there was still a decent amount of pain, so that was the only thing he was focusing on.
But now that the pain isn't plaguing his mind, he can only focus on how your hands feel. You've done this so many times that your attention is always on something else like the TV, always staying aware of how much pressure you're putting on his knee. He tries to focus on anything else, but it's hard not to since he doesn't really have anything else to do. He could distract himself with his phone, but the only that would do is put his eyes somewhere else.
You massage his knee for a bit, and he jumps against his will when he feels your hands slide up higher on his thigh. "Did I hurt you?" you question quickly, and he shakes his head, giving you a small smile.
"No, I just caught a chill," he lies, and you don't seem to see through it, going back to his leg. He tries to sigh quietly, and that's when he realizes how tense he is, but he doesn't think he can relax even if he wanted to. He knows you're doing it to help with the blood circulation, but it seems like it's only making the blood flow in the completely wrong way.
It usually doesn't take long for you to do this, but it honestly feels like time has slowed down terribly. One of his hands balls into a fist as he tries to think about how horribly embarrassing it would be if you caught him hard while all you're doing is helping it.
You're finally done, going to put the medicine in the bathroom, and his body finally relaxes, some of his muscles aching a bit from how tense he was. He's quick to throw the blanket over his legs before you come back, and all he can do is pray that he'll get himself together. He doesn't want to put you in such an awkward situation, and he scolds himself in his head.
~
Kobori's in his room while you're making dinner so he can take his medicine, and you're smiling softly when you think about how happy he seems now that he can move more than he could before. It was definitely hard to see him so down, and you tried everything you could to keep his mind off of it.
You're finishing up with lunch, and you jump when you hear Kobori swear loudly. The food is forgotten as you run into his room, seeing him still sitting on the bed with his head down. "Are you okay?" you ask softly as you quickly walk over to him, sitting down next to him.
"No," he answers, sighing heavily. You don't say anything for a while, and you see how his hands are balled into fists, so you grab one of his hands. He easily opens it, and you lace your fingers with his, his body relaxing slightly.
"I just feel so helpless," he starts, keeping his head down. "I can't move like I want to, and it feels like every time I'm getting better, the pain comes back."
You don't respond, looking for the right thing to say, and you lay your head on his shoulder. "Well, you help people, Kobori, so it's normal to feel like this," you say. "You save people every day. You saved me," you add, smiling a little when you feel him huff.
You lift your head, softly guiding him to look at you with your hand on his face. "But, to help people, you have to help yourself first. You can't do your best if you're not at your best." He's looking at you so intently, that you have half a mind to just run away, but you push through it. "I know it may seem like your recovery is taking forever, but you have to let yourself heal."
He smiles at you before he lets his head rest on yours. "You'll be okay, Koji. I'm not going anywhere," you whisper.
"Thank you," he says softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.
"Of course." You sit there quietly, letting the silence take over for a bit. "You okay?"
He nods a little. "Yeah. But we can stay like this for a few?"
You chuckle a little before you nod. "Yeah. We can stay for as long as you like."
You finally feel his body fully relax, and you smile softly, glad that your words seemed to help. You don't how long you both sit there, but his stomach eventually grumbles which makes the both of you laugh quietly.
"Do you want me to bring your food in here?" you ask, keeping your head on his.
"Nah, I'll make it out there."
You finally pull away, realizing you're having a very hard time doing so, and you smile widely when his eyes finally open to meet yours.  You kiss his forehead softly, rubbing your thumb over his cheek. "You're gonna be okay, Koji," you echo, giving his hand a squeeze before you stand, holding his hand until you're out of reach.
You walk out of the room, hearing his footsteps a little bit later. He's silent for most of the time that you eat, only listening to you, occasionally responding with hums to let you know that he's listening. You don't really blame him since he doesn't have much to talk about anyway. Even though he hasn't been to work, you've been trying to get him out of the apartment more since he's able to move a bit more.
You thought that the fresh air would be a good distraction, and you know that him staying inside all the time wouldn't help. He'll sometimes mention something that his co-workers said, who have been checking in on him every now and then. You know it also helped when Kise and Moriyama would visit, and you want to try your best to not let the pain get him down.
After eating, you let him get in the shower first while you clean up the kitchen, and you do so after. Kobori's sitting on the bed, and he lifts his head up when he hears the door open a bit, but he doesn't hear your footsteps. You're peeking your head in so that he can't see your body, and an amused frown finds its way on his face.
"I wanna show you something, so you have to close your eyes," you tell him, and he smiles before he does so. He listens to you walk closer to him, and he feels the bed move as you carefully climb on it. He tenses a bit when he feels you against his back before he relaxes, and he can feel your head next to his. "Okay, open your eyes."
He peels his eyes open, and since your arms are out in front of him, they immediately fall on what's in your hands. "What's this?" he asks, taking the tiny stuffed bear from you.
"It's from my student that you were with on career day," you answer, letting your arms fall before you wrap them gently around him. "She was gonna get you some candy too, but she didn't know what you liked," you chuckle, which makes him smile as he rubs his finger over the face. "She said it's for whenever you get scared, and she wanted to thank you again for being with her that day."
He stays quiet, huffing softly as he smiles, and he feels your chin carefully rest on his shoulder. "Koji, you helped her out without having to go into a fire or any high-intense situation," you start, and he turns his head to look at you. "Being there with her was all she needed," you say. "You are far from helpless. You helped me when I needed it most, and you didn't have to do a lot of moving for that. This gift is one of the many reasons why you shouldn't feel like this.
"I get that you're frustrated about not being able to move like you want to, I'm not invalidating that at all," you continue. "But I don't want you to think that not being able to move is why you can't help people. You do that all on your own with your heart."
Kobori never looks away from you, holding onto every word you're saying, and he doesn't think he's ever been speechless. You kiss him on his temple, before wrapping your arms a little tighter around him. "You are a great person, Koji. And I don't want you to forget that."
He has so many things running through his head that he feels like he has to do something, and he definitely doesn't think twice before moving forward to kiss you. He knows he took you by surprise, and once he finally realizes what he's doing, he pulls away, his eyes wide mostly because he cannot believe he just did that.
"I-I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me." He starts to panic as his body goes warm with embarrassment, and if his knee was fully recovered, he would be out of this room in a second. He's rambling to try and figure out anything to say, and you smile before you place your hand on his face, which gets him to finally stop talking.
"Koji, it's okay," you say, and he swallows thickly, looking in between your eyes. You lean in again, kissing him softer than he did before, and it doesn't take him long to kiss you back.
He briefly wonders if he fell asleep because he thinks he's dreaming. He's dreamed about this moment for so long that he can't be too sure if it's real. He moves one of his hands to touch your face, and when you pull away for a second, he realizes that he hasn't been breathing.
He catches his breath right before you move back in, and he carefully sets the bear down before he turns his body a bit, the previous angle putting a strain on his neck. The positions you're both in aren't the most comfortable, so he turns even more, making sure he keeps his leg still before he gently puts his hands on your waist.
He pulls you softly closer to him, and you move with him until you're straddling his lap. The last thing he wants to do right now is stop kissing you, and he wraps his arms around your waist as yours wrap around his neck. He hesitates a bit when he feels your tongue gently brush over his lip, but he shortly lets you in after, all of the blood rushing to his lower half when he feels your tongue mold with his.
He shudders when he feels your hands run down his chest, and he lets his hands run under your tank top. Just feeling your bare skin after being millimeters from it has his head spinning, and he moans loudly in surprise when you start to roll your hips against him. You don't stop, and he has to pull away from you as his breathing starts to pick up, his face feeling ridiculously hot as he digs his fingers into your hips.
"F-Fuck," he stutters, his eyes falling closed, and he bucks his hips up into you as he feels his orgasm building. "God, I love you," he sighs, and it takes him way too long to realize what he said, but when his words hang in the air, he opens his eyes when it finally hits him. "I didn't mean--" He tries to explain himself, but he finds it virtually impossible, and he looks at you when you bring your hands to his face.
"I love you, too, Koji," you whisper, and his eyes roll into the back of his head as he cums, groaning as he rolls your hips against him to ride out the high. He falls back against the bed with a heavy sigh as he starts to come down, and he covers his eyes with his hands. "Shit," he breathes, having a hard time looking you in the eyes.
He twitches a bit when he feels you shift a bit, and he feels you lean down until your chest is flush with his. "You okay?" you ask him softly, and he nods, not moving his hands. You gently grab his hands, and he lets you move them away, and it takes him a while to open his eyes. He finally does, seeing that your face is right in front of his.
"Just kinda embarrassed," he admits, breaking the eye contact for a split second. You respond with a soft smile as you slightly tilt your head a bit to the side.
"About what? Finishing so fast?" you muse, and he flushes as he shrugs.
"I've never...I've never done anything like that before," he whispers.
"Seriously?" you ask, your eyebrows raised in what he thinks is surprise.
He nods. "Is that...weird?" He can't help but ask.
"Of course, not," you say with a shake of your head. "You're just a great guy, so I'm surprised no one's bagged you yet," you continue with a smile.
He can't help but copy it. "Dating was kind of hard because...they weren't you," he replies, his voice getting quieter as he finishes, his face growing warm again at his words. Your eyes soften at his words, and you kiss him again.
"I love you, Koji," you whisper, and he doesn't think he'll be able to stop smiling as his heart continues to race. He doesn't think he'll be able to express how good that makes him feel when he hears those words. Something he's always thought about hearing for years, and he hopes that he's not even close to dreaming.
He kisses you again, letting his hands drift under your shirt again, softly rubbing his hands over your back as he tries to lock in every feeling of you against him in his brain. It takes him some courage, but he finally manages to slide his hands to your ass, and the moment he does, you start to roll your hips against him again.
He gasps quietly into the kiss, feeling himself getting hard again before he hesitantly stops you, placing his hands on your hips. "Wait," he breathes, his chest heaving again. "W-What about you?"
"What about me?" you smile, huffing a little when you feel his fingers did into your hips a little more when you move them again.
"I want you to feel good, too," he admits quietly, and your smile widens a bit as you sit yourself up.
"Yeah?" you muse. "And how do you wanna do that?" He flushes down to his chest as he looks away from your gaze for a second before he looks at you again.
"Can I show you?" he mumbles because he knows there's no way he'd be able to voice it out loud. You grin at him as you move off of him onto the bed, carefully stripping your clothes off and letting them fall to the floor before you rest your weight on your hands.
"Go ahead," you press playfully, and Kobori can only stare at you, his eyes running over your body so many times that you lose count. "Koji," you say firmly when he hasn't said anything in a while, and his eyes snap to yours but he still doesn't move.
"S-Sorry, um," he stutters. He tries to speak again, but it's like he can't get the words out, and he goes quiet when you move towards him. "S-Should I--"
"Koji." You cut him off gently, sitting up before you slide closer to him. "You don't have to be so nervous. If you don't wanna do this, we don't have to," you reassure.
"No, no, I want to," he responds quickly. "I'm just nervous," he continues, and why wouldn't he be? The girl of his dream his sitting naked in front of him, and he can barely move an inch even though he's hard as a rock.
"Do you want to keep going?"
"Yeah," he whispers with a quick nod. "I'm sure." You nod, giving him a small smile before you lean in, kissing him softly. You rest your hands on his neck gently, and you can feel him relax a bit under them. You slowly start to move one hand, and he tenses a bit when you run your hand down his chest.
"Do you wanna take this off?" you whisper after you pull away slightly, gently gripping the hem of his shirt. He looks down at where you're holding his shirt before he looks at you, a small nod following after.
He moves before you say anything else, sliding his shirt off and setting the bunched up fabric to the side. You can't help but stare at him, finally allowing yourself to do so. You've seen him shirtless before, of course, but you never let yourself look at him because you thought you were being weird. But now that you know the feelings mutual, you look at him for as long as you can.
"Should I take these off too?" you hear, and you begrudgingly peel your eyes away from his ridiculously defined torso to look at his eyes. He's got his hands on his shorts, and you give him a small shrug.
"If you want to," you huff softly, giving him a reassuring smile. He nods again, pushing his thumbs past his waistband before he stops. There's really no reason for him to be embarrassed, especially since his hard-on is so obvious in his shorts, but taking them off seems to be another thing he has to try and get over.
But he would like to get the rest of his clothes off since his boxers are sticky from his first orgasm. "Do you want me to look away?" you ask quietly, jumping him out of his momentary time in his head.
"No, no, it's okay," he responds, and he internally takes a deep breath before he sheds the rest of his clothes. He's looking somewhere else in the room when they finally reach his feet, having a hard time making eye contact with you.
He finally looks at you, and he flushes even more when he sees that you're not looking at his face. He has half a mind to cover himself, but his dick twitches as you look at him. He's about to try to find anything to say, but you move before he can. You grab his hands, pulling them toward you, causing him to take a couple of half-steps towards you.
His fingers tense around yours when he sees how close your face is to his dick, and he swears the spit he swallows his audible in the room. "You're so big, Koji," you whisper, your eyes never meeting his.
"I-Is that--" He's cut off when you gently wrap your fingers around him, and his body jolts at the stimulation. "Is that a bad thing?" he rushes out, trying to concentrate on his breathing.
"No," you answer quietly as you smile up at him. He can't help but watch in awe as you take the tip into your mouth, and he releases a stuttering breath, feeling his toes curl. You swirl your tongue around it before you take him into your mouth, and he knows that if he doesn't stop (not that he wants to), he'll cum in a second.
"W-Wait," he tries, gently putting his hand on your head, but all you do is look up at him, continuing to bob your head up and down slowly. "But--you," he huffs out, his eyes slipping closed as he lets his head fall back.
"What about me?" you find yourself asking again as you stroke him, moving your attention to his sac, sucking on it gently knowing that he wasn't going to answer your question. He swears as you feel his dick kick against your hand, signaling that he's close, and you make no move to stop.
His grip on your hair tightens just a little bit as you put him back in your mouth, and his chest heaves as his body starts to tense little by little. You run your nails gently up his stomach, and he shivers right before he cums, a loud groan coming from deep in his chest before you feel him spill onto your tongue.
You take him even deeper to swallow it all, and his legs shake as he plants his hand on your head to keep himself from falling. You finally take him out of your mouth when there's nothing left for him to give you, wiping the corners of your mouth as you sit up straight.
When you look up at him, he's still got his head back, and he's breathing so hard, that his body slumps a bit every time he exhales. He finally looks at you, and his face is ridiculously red, to the point where you briefly worry if he's gonna pass out.
"How was that?" you ask playfully, and all Kobori can do it nod, giving you a loopy smile. You grab his hand again, moving further onto the bed, pulling him with you. He follows you with shaky legs before getting on the bed, making sure to keep the majority of his weight off of his knee.
He lays down, pulling you with him, and when you straddle him, he kisses you without giving you much time to think about what to do next. You notice that he seems to be a lot more relaxed, his hands running over every part of your body as he practically melts into the bed.
"You okay?" you whisper when you pull away, and he nods his head slowly, his eyes drooping closed before he quickly opens them again.
"I still wanna make you feel good," he mumbles before he gently moves you so that you're on your back on the bed, and he moves to lay on his side, hovering in your space. He moves his face into your neck and goosebumps rise on your skin when you feel his lips kissing over it.
"No one's stopping you," you say quietly, but you don't really think he hears you because you feel his hand drift down your torso at the same time he drifts his head down to your chest. You moan softly when he runs his lips over your nipple, making his dick twitch before he encases it with his mouth.
He rubs over your thigh as he keeps his attention on your chest for a bit before he carefully drifts his hand in between your legs, and he can feel himself start to get nervous. He's seen porn before and been forced to Moriyama and Kise talking about their sex stories while drunk, so he knows a little bit about what to do.
He takes his mouth from your chest so that he can look as he runs his fingers through your folds, suppressing a groan when he sees how wet you are already. He runs one finger up until he finds your clit, looking back at you when he rubs over it.
He keeps his eyes on you, taking in every sound you're making and every shift of your facial expressions. He starts to feel a little more confident the louder your moans get when he continues to rub his finger over your sensitive bud, and he decides to move down. It doesn't take long for him to find what he's looking for, his fingers becoming even wetter when he reaches your hole.
You spread your legs as he circles a finger at your entrance, and he slowly slides one in, keeping his eye on your face for any sign that he might be hurting you. You take his finger so much easier than he thought, and his body goes hot at how warm and tight you are. The more he explores your walls, the more he wants to speed up, and it seems you want him to do the same as well, gently pleading with him to add another finger.
He easily obliges, making sure to stretch your walls out by spreading his fingers. He pushes futher into you, and he looks at your face when you jump at a particular stroke of his fingers. He goes in even deeper, continuing the same motion as before, his palm rubbing against your clit, and he watches you with his mouth slightly open as you grind against his fingers.
He doesn't dare to stop what he's doing, only going faster so that he can see how many sounds and faces he can pull from you. You grab his wrist as your moans get louder, and he watches your back arch off the bed for a second as your legs start to move more than before.
He groans softly when you start and continue to moan his name, your eyes slipping closed. He notices that it's getting more difficult for him to push his fingers back into you, so he thrusts them into you with firmer strokes, which only makes the noises you're making louder.
"K-Koji," you cry, your face scrunching up in a way that he knows is going to plant itself in his dreams for the rest of his life. "I'm gonna--fuck!" you groan, your legs suddenly clamping around his arm as your nails dig into the sheets next to you.
Your pussy is practically trying to push him out now as he feels more slick coating his hand, but he doesn't stop, following you when you try to move away from him. He only stops when you tap at his arm quickly, and he withdraws his fingers as your body finally relaxes, your chest heaving. He can't help but watch the way your tits rise and fall.
"Jesus Christ, Kobori," you huff as you let your body go limp.
"Are you okay?" he asks, and you give him a loopy nod as you smile.
"Yeah, best orgasm I've ever had."
"You came?" he asks, his eyebrows raising as he face turns a deeper red.
"You couldn't tell?" He shakes his head before he glances down between your legs, seeing your cum coating the inside of your thighs and his fingers. He must've missed that because he was so focused on your face and the noises you were making.
He suddenly brings his fingers up to his face, watching them glisten when they catch the light just right. "You wanna taste it?" He can't look at you as he says the answer in his head, and he doesn't give himself any more time to second guess himself before he slides his fingers into his mouth.
He can feel himself practically drooling when your taste hits his tongue, and he decides that he would do just about anything to taste you again. He makes sure he gets every inch of his fingers until he can't taste you anymore.
"You're still hard," he barely hears, and he's sliding his fingers out of his mouth when you straddle him, hovering over him with your hands gently resting on his chest. "You wanna keep going?"
"I-I..." he starts, his eyes trained on your body as he gets lost in it again. "I don't have any condoms."
"Neither do I," you say, your eyes never leaving his face. "But it's okay," you add, gently grabbing him in your hand as you line yourself up.
"A-Are you sure?" he mumbles as his hands tighten on your hips.
"We don't have to unless you want to," you tell him. "But, I wouldn't imagine you'd wanna run to the store hard as a rock to go get some."
Yeah, that would be way less than ideal, and when he slightly tugs you closer to him, you take that as a sign to sink down on him. Your mouth falls slowly open at the stretch, and Kobori whimpers as he feels your warm walls surround him.
He tries to think about anything that won't make him bust as you continue to sit down, and he screws his eyes shut as he tries to focus. When he finally feels you fully around him, it takes him a while to open his eyes. His chest is heaving again, and he's flushed all the way down to his chest.
"You okay, Koji?" he hears you ask, and at first, all he can do is nod. He manages to open his eyes, meeting yours, but he can't help but let them run down your body, stopping where your bodies are meeting, and he has to close his eyes again.
"You just feel really good," he whispers, his fingers digging into your skin so hard, that he's worried he'll bruise you, but he's afraid that if he lets go, he'll cum in an instant. He jumps a bit when he feels your hands running over his chest, feeling your walls pulse around him, causing him to buck up into you against his will.
He hears you moan softly at the motion, and he tries to apologize, but the words get stuck in his throat. He feels you start to move, the motion more frequent and fluid, and the only thing that vibrates in his throat is a moan.
He's sweating so bad, that he can feel it dripping down his forehead and onto the pillow below his head, and he finally peels his eyes open, the pleasure mounting in his spine. He's not going to last long at all. "S-Shit, 'm gonna cum--f-fuck," he breathes, watching where he's disappearing into you.
He watches you smile as you make no move to stop, and he's frozen beneath you, unable to do anything but watch you as he falls over that crest. He hands dig almost painfully into your hips as he cums, holding you down so that you can take all of him as his dick twitches inside you with every spurt of cum that he shoots into you.
You try your best to roll your hips to help him ride out his high, planting your chest tight to his as you hover over his face. His eyes had closed as he came, his ragged breathing the loudest thing in the room as he waits for his heartbeat to leave his ears.
"You okay?" you ask him, and he nods quickly as you plant soft kisses over his face. He quickly turns his head so that he can meet your lips, sliding his tongue lazily into your mouth as his hands rub over your body.
He doesn't say anything, continuing to kiss you sloppily. The surprised mewl you release when he bucks up into you is muffled by his lips, and you think it was an accident until he does it again. "Koji, wait," you try, your hands running into his hair and gently pulling on the strands.
"Want you to cum too, sweetheart. P-Please," he whispers into your skin. He's got his arms wrapped around you, locking you against him as he thrusts into you so hard, you start to see starts. Your moans jump up in pitch when he finds your sweet spot, and he makes it his mission to hit it every time.
The more your walls pulls around him, the more crazy it feels like he's getting. He bites and sucks all over your skin, trying to find an outlet as he slides one of his hands between your sweaty bodies to find your clit. He groans when you pull harder on his hair, and he starts to feel your wals tightening around him like they did before, and there's nothing that can stop him now.
He can't do anything else other than moan, an occassional whimper coming from him as his eyes roll to the back of his head. "O-Oh, my God," you gasp, any words you're able to make being chopped up by his thrusts. You can't even speak, not able to warn him when you finally cum with your name on his lips, and he bites down on your shoulder with a groan as he feels your walls practically holding him hostage.
His hips stutter with his release, and he's holding onto you so tight, like you're going to fadee away any second now. Your toes curl with oversensitivity as he continues to move inside of you until he slows, his arms dropping from your body and onto the bed with a soft thud.
Both of you are silent as you catch your breath, and your body slowly starts to go limp, your pussy pulsing in all the right ways. "Holy shit, Koji," you huff, those words said after a few beats of silence.
"Are you okay?" he whispers, and you look at him, seeing his eyelids halfway open. "I wasn't too rough?"
"No," you say, managing to shake your head. "That was so good," you smile, and he mimics it, slightly lifting his head up, and you meet him halfway so you can kiss him. "I love you, Koji," you whisper.
He hums. "I love you too," he responds, snuggling into your neck. He continues to plant kisses all over your skin, his hands never leaving your body. You notice that his ministrations start to slow, but you don't move, knowing that he's probably on his way out. Hell, you are too.
"Love you, baby," he slurs quietly, and a wide smile appears on your face as you whisper it back.
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zeninsama-moved · 2 years ago
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wanted to write a lil something about big brother naoya... this is my first time writing anything kinda long in a WHILE so i'm proud of myself :') i needed the practice so be nice to me. who knew all it took was incest and piss LMAO also can u believe i used caps for this one <3
tw for incest and piss, themes of humiliation and degradation (mostly the situation, "slut" used once), female reader (she/her prns and petnames like "baby girl" used), naoya is his own warning and he's kind of a dick, maybe a little clan-relevant misogyny if you squint, fingering, naoya gets a boney but this isn't about him, not really proofread u get what u get, naoya has a shitty accent and it's inconsistent
word count: 2.5k
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Half an hour into your big brother's tirade, you realize you really need to pee.
All your objections fall upon deaf ears, your big brother telling you to shut up, stay quiet, or fuckin' listen each time you interrupt his ranting to try to ask. It's pointless. So instead, you bow your head in submission, whimpering from the painful straining of your bladder.
Fuck, you need to go. You're not sure how much longer you can hold it, but it's not for you to decide. You know your brother – when he's this angry, he could keep berating you for at least another hour.
You interrupt him once more.
"Please, nii-sama, I've learned my lesson, okay? I'm sorry!"
Above you, Naoya scoffs, arms folding over his broad chest. “I don’t believe that for a fuckin’ second. First you humiliate me in front of the elders, now yer talkin' to me like I'm some kind of idiot? Is that what this is? You think yer better than me?"
It's been a while since you've seen Naoya this upset. Even with his short temper, your sister antics usually only leave him mildly annoyed. Your brother doesn't take it lightly when he feels embarrassed – even worse, undermined – and by his little sister of all people. His little baby of a sister that's meant to walk three steps behind him, bow her head, speak when spoken to. Yes, Naoya-sama. No, Naoya-sama.
"No, nii-sama," you're weeping shamelessly at his feet, your face hot and hands fisting at the skirt of your kimono, all while your bladder strains painfully. "Please, I'm sorry! It hurts, nii-sama, please let me go."
It's probably a matter of seconds now, maybe a minute at best. You're begging, silently praying to whatever Gods are listening that Naoya will take mercy on you and let you up, let you rush to the bathroom in a technique-imbued sprint so you can finally get a release from this pain. You'll even settle for pity at this point, because if you let go now, release your bladder right in front of your brother – all over the tatami, all over your kimono – you'll never hear the end of it.
Imagining the walk of shame to the nearest servant, forced to explain the mess you’ve made in the other room with a heated face and head bowed in shame – all while your big brother laughs – sends a chill through your body.
You don't notice your head fell until Naoya cradles your face, lifting it up to meet his gaze again. He's crouched to your height now, both face and touch uncharacteristically gentle when compared to... well, everything else about him. His palm is warm, yet rough from nearly three decades of back-breaking training and battle.
For a moment, you think you're lucky. Maybe Naoya is finally taking pity on you after seeing you tremble, your bottom lip quivering and eyes wet with tears as you plead for his mercy. After seeing you look weak in comparison to him.
"Hey," he coos, caressing your cheek with his thumb, wiping a tear and relishing in the way you keen into his touch. His baby sister. His sweet girl that's depended on him every day since birth, relying on her onii-sama to guide her. "You know I'm not doin' this to be mean, right? Yer just... gettin' too mouthy for yer own good."
"Naoya-nii," you whimper, voice breaking. "I can't hold it anymore, please."
"Yeah, you can," he sighs. "Dumb baby, just shut up a second and listen to me."
Another gentle hand rests on your shoulder. When Naoya holds you like this, it almost feels loving. He presses a kiss to your hairline, dampened with sweat from your body's exertion. You take a deep breath, trying to will the ache in your bladder to go away. For a moment, it does.
"If ya mouthed off to anyone else, they'd throw yer ass in the disciplinary pit, but not me. Is that why you do it? You know you can be a brat to me 'cause I won't beat yer ass about it? Tell me."
You nod shakily. "Yes, Naoya-nii."
"Look at me."
You do. Naoya's features look softer, kinder, more like the brother you love. The one that would gently push on your back to make you bow when you were young. The one that held your hand and snuck you out of the estate during the summer to show you the fireflies. The one that, despite threatening to leave yer ass out to dry when he catches you meddling in places you shouldn't, always takes the fall for it so you don't get punished.
But he can only do so much for you. For now, at least. When the old man inevitably bites it, making him the clan head, he'll be untouchable. Therefore you will be too.
The urge returns. How did you forget?
Naoya watches your eyes widen, your lips part in a stammer.
"Shh," he soothes, silencing whatever you're about to say with his finger over your lips, then replacing the digit with his own.
The kiss is soft, you try and distract yourself with the feeling of his lips, more assertive than yours, and his tongue softly prying you open. The hand on your shoulder ventures lower, smoothing over linen, fingers digging under your obi to loosen it in a practiced motion. Eventually, he accesses the ties to your kimono, loosening that as well until the fabric parts, exposing your body to him, ignoring your whimpers and pleas of protest.
It's not that you don't want him to touch you, because fuck, you really want him to touch you, you're aching for it. It's the throbbing pain inside that looms over your head in a constant reminder. You can't do this right now. If his fingers touch you, god forbid enter you, you're not sure you'll be able to hold it. The slightest amount of pressure and –
"Look at you," Naoya sighs, allowing himself to be swept up in lust. He kisses your cheek, your jaw, hair tickling your face as his lips trail down your neck and nip at the sensitive skin. "So fuckin' beautiful. My beautiful girl, aren't ya?"
Still, you're keening into his touch. The linen of your kimono hangs limp over your body, Naoya reaches underneath it and palms your breast, groaning silently against your skin. The hand cradling your face repositions, caressing your jaw before pushing two thick fingers past your lips, leaving you no choice but to accept them. You do it dutifully, allowing your brother to glide his fingers over your tongue, even hollowing your cheeks weakly around them.
Naoya takes and takes. It's no different when it comes to your body. The blood rushes to his cock, tenting the fabric of his hakama as it swells. His hands only get greedier, moans sounding more desperate as he gropes at your body, feeling your nipples harden under his palm, your skin so unbearably soft. He wants to sink his teeth in you, mark you in places only he has the privilege to see. He finds the warmth of your mouth so tempting, so inviting, he can't help but push his fingers deeper. You choke around his fingers, coating them in a rush of saliva.
"Open your legs," Naoya orders, hand now resting atop your thigh, both of them still clenched tightly together, attempting to push them apart. Your eyes widen in panic.
"Naoya-nii, I can't," you mutter, shaking your head frantically. "At least let me go first. I'll be fast, I promise–"
"Nah," Naoya teases, lips curling in a sharp grin. "Trained you to be a real good girl, didn't I? You can hold it a few more minutes."
"I can't!"
"You will."
Your body acts on its own, betraying your will and allowing your brother to manhandle you into a position he finds more acceptable. Your legs open so easily for him, giving him access to your now unclothed pussy. Spit-slick fingers rub over your folds, gathering the wetness there. You let out a shaky breath.
"After all, it would be real fuckin' embarrassing if you did," Naoya drawls, his voice always takes on this soft, condescending tone when he teases you. "If you pissed yourself, I mean."
Naoya kisses you again, this time skipping the pleasantries and parting your lips with his tongue, greedily licking against your own to taste the inside of his sister's mouth. You're overextending yourself, trying to focus on too many things at once to forget how dangerously close you are to pissing yourself, because if you were to let go right now, it would get all over your big brother's hand – and then you really wouldn't catch a break. So you try to focus on the softness of his tongue, on the pleasure of his fingers finding friction over your swollen clit.
"I don't wanna," you whimper, voice sounding like that of a petulant child. "Naoya-nii..."
"No?" He mocks, nearly grinning from ear to ear. "Don't wanna piss yourself like a dumb baby? Then don't."
One hand grips your hip to steady you, the fingers on his other finally breaching the tight entrance of your cunt. Your jaw drops, mouth hanging open in a moan. His fingers are thick. He always gives you two right off the bat, claiming he's being generous and prepping you for his dick instead of making you take it. It's funny, how he loves you like that.
His sweet baby sister, opening for him like a flower.
Pleasure sparks through your body as the heel of his palm grinds into your clit, providing the right amount of pressure in tandem with his prodding fingers. Your mouth hangs open, unmoving and pliant while his tongue licks into it, kissing the corner of your lips. The fullness of your bladder makes everything feel so much more sensitive, more responsive as your brother works his fingers and and out of your cunt, aided by your saliva and drooling arousal.
Knowingly, his fingers reposition and curve, finding that spot within you and targeting it with the pads of his fingers. It triggers what you've been fighting so hard to hold. For the first time since he started berating you, you move, hands clinging to his clothed forearm, clawing at it in desperation. Your body and mind are on two different pages, the little voice in your head still grounded in reality screaming for you to push him off. Maybe you could swing it with a desperate surge of cursed energy, but your hands urge his fingers deeper, keeping them pressed against that spot.
Naoya seems to like this, cock throbbing at the sight of you trying to get yourself off on his fingers. He can feel your pussy squeezing, sucking them deeper.
"Hey, you forget your fuckin' manners?" He reprimands, though the amused look on his face doesn't match his tone. He's getting off on this, the sick bastard. You know he is. "Gonna ask me first or were you just gonna keep humping my hand like some desperate slut?"
"Please, Naoya-nii," you blurt out, the tightly-wound coil inside you clenching tighter by the second.
"The fuck was that?"
"Nii-sama," you correct, pleading. It's so fucking close. "Nii-sama, please, can I cum?"
Naoya hums, pretending to think it over. His fingers plunge in and out of your cunt at a rapid pace, filling the small room with the obscene squelching of your arousal. Your hips move on their own, desperate to meet his pace, riding his thick fingers to chase the high. Maybe you have the restraint to hold it, let yourself cum on his fingers and still have enough time to rush to the bathroom before it takes a turn for the worse.
"Gonna pull that shit again?" He asks, pace not relenting. "Hm? Gonna lash out at me again like a spoiled brat when everyone can see you? Make me look like a fuckin' idiot?"
"No!"
"Yeah, better fuckin' not. Undermine me again and I'll kill ya. Now cum for me."
You don't need any further prompting. Your body goes lax, walls clamping snug around Naoya's fingers before releasing, soaking them in a hot rush of cum. He fucks you through it, not once stopping or slowing, narrow brown eyes watching your pussy coat his knuckles in a layer of milky white. "There's my good girl," he praises, soft but sweet, only ever meant for you to hear. "There's my good baby girl, that's it, let me have it."
It hits you for the last time before your orgasm even finishes, the relaxing of your muscles. You physically can't hold it back anymore, even if you could, it's far too late.
There's another surge of warmth, the wet sloshing of another liquid streaming from your spread legs and making a mess on your brother's hand, soaking the sleeve of his haori, soaking the tatami, trickling down your inner thighs in clear rivulets. Naoya's jaw drops, eyes widening at the sight. Even then, he can't fucking stop.
"What did I say, huh? Didn't I tell you to hold it?" His fingers press harder at your inner walls, ramping up the pace, desperate to fuck every last drop from you as his cock throbs under his hakama. "You're that incapable, can't even hold your own piss?"
You're fucking horrified.
"I'm sorry, nii-sama!" you sob. "I didn't mean to, I promise!"
"Yeah, yeah," he sneers. "Go on then, let it out."
With no other option, you resign yourself. Your body slumps forward onto Naoya's broader frame, shuddering, the urine releasing in pulsating gushes along with your orgasm, further soaking everything else. Hand, haori, tatami, even the linen of your kimono pooled underneath you. Your body is overwhelmed. Your face burns hotter, eyes drooping in exhaustion and relief. Blood rushes in your ears, heart pounding loud enough, you're certain Naoya can hear it.
The room spins.
Naoya's opposite hand rubs your back in a rare act of affection. It feels different from pity. He kisses the top of your head, then your shoulder, allowing you to come down slowly.
As the rushing of blood quiets, you're too ashamed to pull your face from the crook of his neck.
"Kid, look at me."
"Don' wanna."
"Come on."
Sniffling, you force yourself upright, still kneeling on your jello legs.
Still kneeling on the cold, soaked garments. Gross.
Naoya cradles your feverish cheek. You look cute like this, lips pouted, face absolutely debauched. His heart swells in his chest.
"I'm sorry, nii-sama."
"You kidding me?" He laughs under his breath. "You know how hot that fuckin' was? Almost came in my pants 'cause of you. Wanna see you do that shit again for me."
Embarrassed, you scoff and look away, but your brother redirects you, kissing you once more – chaste, but gentle. Reassuring.
After that, he leans back and starts undressing from the waist up, shrugging off his haori, working on his kimono, all until the soiled garments sit in a heap.
"Now go get someone to clean this shit up."
"Me?" You ask, incredulous, looking down at your disheveled form – still soaked, might you add. "Can't you go find someone to do it?"
"I wasn't the one that pissed myself, little sis. Now get out of here."
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kthecutest · 1 year ago
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hi darls how are you today? anyways you know me ( I have another req🤸) and imma do a yuma smut req (being yuma biased is great🤸) (yuma!sub)
can you do yuma and you trying vibrators for the first time and you edge and then overstim him? and he's being a brat as well so uhm punishment! and hes gonna sort.of cry
thank darls<3 xoxo
-🤍anon
Hi girlieee! I'm doing great and I hope you are as well! <33 Sorry the post came back so late, I've been wrapped around in fluff requests so my hornyness wouldn't return but yesss today it returned and it's wilder than ever. So the smut came out way way longer LMAO just a warning though- this got so wild to the point that while I was proofreading I was basically heating up so bad (╥ᆺ╥;) I hope you'll love it my fav anon (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) !
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Pairing : sub!Yuma x dom!gn!reader Genre : NSFW (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ 🥕 A/N ೃ⁀➷ MINORS DNI
It’s been countless minutes, almost felt like hours to Yuma who is set in front of your figure in a desperate pitiful state. A black blindfold wrapped like a tapestry over his cat-like eyes while another piece of cloth was tied tightly around his mouth to restrict his moans and whimpers. The cloth no longer being able to do its job because the cat boy was nibling on it to the point it has rolled up into a thin line gagging him. An egg vibrator taped to his fully-hard dick on full display while his hands are tied tightly at the back, the ropes leaving marks on his snow-white skin. His legs aren’t tied though but the poor kitty cannot bring himself to close his legs from the embarrassing state since he was feeling too much pain and pleasure at the same time. And that pink shaking crystal-like dildo snucked warmly in his stretched hole was the cherry on top.
Yet despite all the components, there was not a single spot of whiteness or cum anywhere. You told him not to cum until you got your hands on him so the bratty but obedient kitty listened to you. Since he wasn’t ready for any more punishment after all. The worst part was that you were seated right in front of him watching his pitiful embarrassing state while sliding a plastic cock in and out of your drenched pussy, letting out wild moans just to trigger the desperate boy in full restriction. Not putting headphones on him was such a right idea.
After some more minutes of torture, his dick was already so red and swollen to the point it looked like on the edge of exploding. Feeling a bit merciful for the boy, you finished your fair share of fun and walked over to him, unravelling the cloth restrictions on his face. “Alright kitty~ you’ve done such a great job~ how does that feel hm~?” you kissed and licked all the tears sprawled out on his cheeks. “N- need to cum~ master please~ t- too much” he begged, stuttering, earning a smirk from you. “Who would have known the vibrators would change my bratty little kitty~” you grabbed onto the wired button that attached to the vibrating egg on his dick, turning it up while your other hand goes to stroke the base of his leaking cock. Just a few strokes and the boy was already falling apart right in front of you; eyes rolled to the back of his head while his legs shook in timing with his orgasm. The white sticky fluid squirting out, wetting his abdomen, his thighs and some getting on your thighs. You took your hand off him licking the fluid-covered hand with your set of lustful eyes fixed on him.
As soon as the naughty kitty has had his release, his brattyness quickly came back to life. “Ugh.. changed my ass. I was just effected because it’s my first time trying them..” he swiftly found an excuse to defend himself, his legs still shaking and body limp; still not recovered properly from the orgasm earlier. “Oh really~? Well I guess now that your little first time is over… you can handle more, can’t you?” His eyes widen in shock as the brattyness seemed to have been kicked out of him but before he could make a snarky remark, he felt a strong aggressive pressure on the vibrating dildo snucked in his clenched hole; his eyes were so close to rolling to the back of his head as he let out a loud gasp followed by breathy pants. “F-fuck.. stop that..” “Hm~? Why kitty~? Got your own tongue now~?” a dramatic pause in between the ruffling sounds of you moving around behind him and his breathy desperate little pants filled the room. “Don’t forget who has the vibrator controller, connected straight to the one snuck in that tight hole of yours right now…~” a moan left his lips as you tugged on his hair harshly pulling it back.
“ngh~.. hurts..” you thought he was whining about the harsh tug on his hair until you looked down to see his half-hard cock. “Well bratty kitty~ how about we play a game of penalty since you can handle all this so well now~?” He shaked his head with a pouty face; that didn’t stop you from pushing the vibrator deeper into him earning a loud mewl from him, leaving him panting and drooling on the couch. You tapped on his cheeks drawing his attention back towards you – “Now now kitty~ you can’t break yet..” You turned up the vibrations of both vibrators. The tears threatening to fall from the corner of the boy’s eyes started raining down, the room being filled with loud mewls and moans; so loud that you were convinced you both were getting a noise complaint after this.
You circled your slim fingers around the plastic piece in his hold. The crying kitty turned around to look back at you with pitiful teary eyes expecting you were gonna take it out; instead you shoved your fingers from the small sneaky space that you could get from the stretched now-filled hole. “Fuck.. you’re so tight baby..” and that was it. The boy screamed out loud feeling the knot in his stomach snap as he came again squirting all over the couch. “Fuck… so much..” you didn’t hear any whining or reply from the boy; you moved away the sweaty bangs on his forehead sticking onto his forehead – he’s passed out. Oh welp it was quite reasonable considering today’s activity. You let out a chuckle and moved him over a bit, covering him with a thin shirt and headed to the bathroom to grab some towels.
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that-gay-guy-from-hell · 1 year ago
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This isn't a request, I'm just tossing it out there for you to use if you want:
Getting stuck hiding with V, maybe in a small space smooshed up against one another, and V sends Shadow out to enclose both of them in a protective cocoon of Shadow's "skin"/essance. V or Reader using a chunk of Luminite (presumably from inside the Qliphoth's structure- there are sections of the Qliphoth that glow like Luminite, anyway, and it could be you could find some Lumitite in the Qliphoth or near it) for illumination.
Other idea:
V getting his foot or feet hurt from wearing his (albeit pretty, but utterly impractical for a demon apocalypse) sandals around Red Grave city, and Reader having to either help him walk on his one good foot or just straight up carrying him, because NO, SERIOUSLY, V, YOU SHOULD NOT BE ON YOUR FEET RIGHT NOW, it'll make the injury worse, PLEASE let your friend help you. Or V just straight up almost passes out/collapses from the pain of the injury, and Griffon and Reader are like, "Alright, you need to take it easy for a bit". I love how earnest V is in trying to make amends for what he did, but it'd be nice to see him get some help sometimes, y'know?
I know that you didn’t say these were requests but I need a quick warm-up for today so I used these as that; since longer fics. involving V is hard for me to write lmao
==
(Ooo I love love love close space prompts/situations-- They are always so good for like any type of style; angsty, fluff, smut, etc.) V x G/N reader Unproferead. Fluff + Suggestive stuff
==
     “V..?” You grimaced slightly as you came too, “What’s going on?”
     “Good you’re finally awake,” his voice was shaky as you felt his arms tighten around your middle, “I was worried that you weren’t going to return to me…”
     Your brow furrowed as you oriented yourself. V and you were tightly pressed together, laying down, in a dark cocoon of sorts. There was just barely enough wiggle room to turn over to face the lithe man.
     “What’s that supposed to mean?” Your voice was steady however your face was beyond hot, having only a few inches between your face and his. 
     “You were quite injured and I wasn’t sure what to do…” 
     “V,” your gaze thinned, “Where are we?”
     “At this current moment, we are within Shadow and waiting for Griffon to return with Nero.”
     “Oh…”
     His arms wrapped around your hips and pulled you tightly against him. Neither of you spoke for some time, you resting your head against his shoulder and neck while he gently thumbed over your skin; enjoying the oddly peaceful moment. 
     After a few minutes, you shifted your hips feeling a certain heat starting to spread to your limbs from his touch. The gothic man seemed to notice your “discomfort” and let out a low laugh.
     You leaned back, “What are you laughing at?”
     V moved his hand slowly up your side, sending a shiver up your spine, and settled on your jawline. His thumb gently glided along your skin as he stared into your eyes for a few moments. Although his mouth was closed, you could see him playing with his teeth using his tongue; clearly in thought. 
     Bit by bit, V closed the gap between your lips and his. The raven-haired man was nervous as he coyly pushed against you; to which you pushed back, doing your best to encourage him without words. 
     Once he broke the kiss he opened his mouth to speak before turning his head. 
     A small smirk pulled at his lips as he turned back to you, “Sorry Wanderer, it seems the cavalry has arrived,” he placed a slow sweet kiss against your lips, tugging on your lower lip as he pulled back, “We’ll have to continue this later; I want to taste you more, if you will so allow.”
     Before you answered, the cocoon broke apart and V stood up, going off to join Nero. Leaving a very flustered and embarrassed you to sit with Shadow, reeling at what he’d just said. 
==
V x G/N reader Unproferead. Fluff..?
==
     V limped along, using his cane to hold almost his entire body weight. A sigh left your lips at the stubborn man. The poet had hurt himself nearly an hour ago and refused to stop and rest; much to your frustration. 
     Another small group of demons appeared and V sent out Griffon and Shadow. The familiars and you made quick work of this; however, each time V tried to finish a demon off, he nearly collapsed. You took it upon yourself to do the lithe man’s work for him and began to finish off the demons that the familiars had gotten ready. 
     Griffon let out a laugh and made a few playful comments about the situation; much to V’s vexation. Once the fight was over, V walked towards you with an irritated huff; however, he didn’t get very far. The poet tripped over the ground once again, to which Shadow thankfully caught him last minute--making sure he didn’t face plant into the concrete. 
     “Damn it-” V grimaced as he tried to stand back upright, only to have you extend a hand to help him. 
     “Alright,” you picked up his cane from the ground, “Come on, we are going to sit somewhere for a minute.”
     “I am fine, do not worry about--!”
     You grabbed him from around the waist and picked him up, “Either wrap your legs or I am throwing you over my shoulder; your choice.”
     “Put me down--!”
     “Fine, have it your way, princess,” you slung him over your shoulder.
     V tried to protest and struggle against your grip but your hands were much too strong for him to break the hold of. As you went onwards, he stopped struggling.
     “Can I at least have my cane back?” V turned to you, although he was staring at your back. 
     “Once we get to a room, sure.”
     He clicked his tongue in irritation. Admittedly V’s stubbornness was just as bad as Vergil’s when it came to being taken care of. If it had been Nero that had picked him up, he would have definitely sicked Shadow or Griffon on his kidnapper; however, he could deny that it was nice being so close to you--even if it was by force. 
     Eventually, you found one of the countless still viable bedrooms within Red Grave. You shut the door behind you and went over to the bed, gently setting the injured tattooed man down. 
     “Here,” you handed him his cane, “If you try and leave, I will tackle you.”
     A husky laugh left V’s lips as he looked over to you, who had sat beside him on the bed, “How tempting.”
     You playfully punched his shoulder, “Pervert.”
     “Am I? Or is it you for assuming that was my intent?”
     A small blush found its way to your face as you made a small sputtered noise in surprise. 
     He laughed and leaned his head on your shoulder, “How long am I to be your captive?”
     “Until you can walk more than five steps without falling your face.”
     He sighed, obviously irritated at the situation. 
     “You know V, people get hurt all the time in this line of work; it’s not anything to be ashamed of.”
     “Each second we sit here, Urizen is getting stronger; this is a setback that we cannot afford to have.”
     “V, going into a fight without being healthy and strong is just as dumb as bringing a knife to a gunfight; it doesn’t end well. Besides,” you grabbed his hand tightly, “We have all the time in the world, it’s not like Red Grave isn’t already destroyed.”
     V let out a soft sullen laugh as he stared at your hand intertwined with his, giving it a tight squeeze, “I suppose you are right.”
     He couldn’t bring himself to tell you how wrong you are. That there isn’t much time until V becomes nothing more than a faded memory; win or lose. 
==
Won’t lie I kind of forgot to answer this lmfao I’m sorry
==
Want to see more like this? Want to read my work quicker and several stories that are not on Tumblr? Check this out on my AO3 (Linked here)
MASTER LIST FOR TUMBLR
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sickly-qt · 9 months ago
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#5 on the prompt list for Mila’s character?
I missed writing for Mila and Remy. Expect more of them lmao. I hope you enjoy!
~~~
Remy walked into the bedroom where mila was sprawled in bed, her arm draped across her eyes and a heating pad across her lower stomach. 
“Hey, Love. How are you feeling?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“A little bit better now that the pain meds are kicking in. The heating pad is helping a lot too… thank you for getting this for me by the way.” she said, moving her arm to look at Remy.
“I’m sorry you’re feeling so rough.” 
“It’s been awhile since I’ve had cramps that knocked me out like this… this is the first period I’ve gotten since I stopped my birth control… Now I remember why I started it.”
“It sucks that you have to go through so much. I’m really sorry babe.”
“It’ll be worth it in the long run though…” She sighed and wrapped her arms around her middle, hugging the heating pad to her. “This does really suck though.”
“I’m sorry you aren’t pregnant.” Remy said quietly. He nudged her so that she rolled onto her side and started to rub her lower back.
She let out a small laugh, “We knew it probably wasn’t gonna happen the first month I was off the pill. Mm, Keep doing that please.” She turned a little further over so that Remy had a better angle to rub her back. 
“At least we get to keep trying.” He mumbled and trailed light kisses from her shoulder, up her neck. 
“This is true… but maybe when I don't feel like I'm getting cut open from the inside out.”
“Of course, M. Want me to draw you a bath?”
“Mmm, yes please.” She rolled onto her back to look up at Remy. “Will you come?”
Remy smiled and gave Mila a kiss, “I thought you wouldn’t ask.” 
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mermaidsirennikita · 1 year ago
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also now that rwarb was such a successful adaptation, which queer romances would you like to see them tackle next?
Weeeeelll if there were zero budgetary and casting restrictions in place, if I could just wave a magic wand and make great adaptations--
Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid--SEEMS like one of the easiest options, comes built in with a sequel, and it's like. Along the same lines as RWARB, while being.... a lot more sexual and a good bit angstier because the stakes are arguably HIGHER (mostly I'm thinking of Ilya being a world-famous Russian athlete who's also like. Bi.). I feel like it's funny and swooningly romantic in a manner similar to RWARB, but it's the next level up in a sense re: maturity. I also think, again, they could actually do this... albeit with a lot of obstacles re: both sexual content and like, casting dudes who could be fake hockey players lol. And one of them has to either be Russian or miraculously do a bang-up Russian accent. Both of these things are challenges.
The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian--would be SUCH a good mini? A historical romcom with the soft bisexual former highwayman and the flashiest motherfucker who's ever walked into the tavern or whatever like "HELP ME ROB MY DAD... and I will consider letting you look at my ankles". And then he SWORDFIGHTS LMAO? Perfect perfect perfect. then you could have the Marian book as a sequel.
Something Fabulous/Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall--you begin with a mini on the ultimate m/m romcom roadtrip romance, then you transition to the equally funny but also deeply emotionally stirring book about two nonbinary characters falling in love? and one of them is BASICALLY a rockstar?
A Long Time Dead by Samara Breger--the sapphic Interview with the Vampire, incredibly good and wry and dark and funny and ROMANTIC
A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall--would be an amazing sweeping four part period drama; I just love the premise so much, with the heroine transitioning by faking her death at Waterloo and her best friend never emotionally getting over it and then meeting her again after her transition and not recognizing her until he realizes she has THE SAME FRECKLES??? JESUS. A full-stop ROMANCE romance.
The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles--JOSS DOOMSDAY and his gay exploits in the marsh! Blackmailing his old hookup to continue his smuggling operation and then following that old hookup home and going "so like... you down to fuck or....?"
This is completely impossible but I'm gonna pie in the sky and say Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners would make the most demented borderline-impossible explicit TV series ever. Imagine the ongoing antics of a bisexual dominatrix, her ex-boyfriend except actually not except the love of her life who is a Catholic priest that gets sexual pleasure out of inflicting pain, a totally straight man (according to himself) who has nonetheless been in a 20+year off/on thing with a bisexual French guy who runs the kink underworld of New York City or something. And they all fuck together sometimes. Like at Christmas. Complete with a snowball moment! Because Christmas!
New Camelot Trilogy--will never happen, but in my wiiiiiiildest dreeeeeeams this would be like, a 10-episode miniseries (or more??? Like a full outlander-style 13 episode series..... or a three season deal with 8 episodes per season...). It's just one of my favorite romance series of all time, it does such a good job of melting from the simple love triangle to this complex menage a trois of possessive wounded messy people? And somehow two of them are the president and the vice president lmao??? Of course, in the same sense... I'd love a Thornchapel miniseries. Like, you'd get a m/m/f throuple, a f/f couple, and this one bi priest guy they all fuck with at points? But nobody wants me to have the Gothic polyamorous friend group romance I want.
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shiraishi--kanade · 7 months ago
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I heard you liked diagnosing project sekai characters with physical illnesses. I'm not disabled myself, but I wanted to include this in my writing and I trust you more than google. Can you share the symptoms of what you think Kanade is going through?
Anon this is a funny reputation to have. Thank you haha
On a more serious note I think there's a difference between what I think the characters can realistically be going through and what I personally like to throw at them for fun and whimsy. For the accuracy's sake let's go with the first one for Kanade and just look at what symptoms she canonically has and go from there.
We get a glimpse in the most of Kanade's struggles with her health in Spojoy Park, in which she experiences stuff like:
* Being generally exhausted even from walking (exercise intolerance)
* Having to stop and take a break a lot on the walk
* Heat sensitivity (although the is said to have no trouble tolerating heat in her menu conversation, this event actually points in the opposite direction)
* Poor-ish coronation/balance issues (falling from being spooked by a cicada, for one)
* Muscle ache
Now, a lot of these can also come from a sedentary lifestyle, which is probably what Sega intended, but if you want to go with a disability headcanon, it might be connected with some kind of cardiovascular disease. All of the things above are definitely what I experience.
If you want something chronic that's not actively life-threatening (unlike my own illness lol), I personally headcanon Kanade having POTS (the same as Touya because bear with me). Probably hypovolemic subtype as well. I can't really give you all the symptom because it's very individual and also I don't have it (although I have something similar enough that they both get confused for each other quite frequently), but there's a fairly active disability community on Tumbrl so you can go through the tags for research. Here's my five cents into something me and people with POTS share:
• Shortness of breath (dyspnea): feeling like you desperately need air but your lungs just can't expand enough for a deep inhale (like there's not enough space in your ribcage), so you're kind of left breathing very shallowly like a fish out of the water. Generally feels super unpleasant, like you're suffocating on a psychological level, but you're probably still able to breathe through your nose, it just doesn't feel like enough. Varies in severity, worse after exercise and flares, also sometimes I get severe attacks after falling asleep (to the point of it waking me up) but I don't know how common it is.
• Chest pain. Super individual + varies, but if you've ever experienced a tension headache, imagine something like this but in your heart instead. Not a hard thing to do research on all things considered.
• Tachycardia. You've also probably experienced it at least once even if you're able-bodied, it's super common during stress, anxiety attacks and stuff. In simple terms, your heart is beating way too fast and way too hard, sometimes with irregular rhythm. You can physically feel it in your chest and arteries, sometimes it also radiates into jaw, head and fingertips for me.
• Heat sensitivity. Just being more vulnerable to sun exhaustion most people. Even being in the sun for fifteen minutes is enough to make me dizzy, lightheaded and headachy.
• Standing up for longer than like ten minutes is hell on earth and my cardiovascular system doesn't like that one bit. The general consensus seems to be that walking is more tolerable than standing still though.
• Trouble sleeping because of all of the above. In Kanade's case it might be even more difficult, since her sleep schedule is... Messed up in general.
• All the outwardly noticeable symptoms like visible blue veins and paleness seem to be possible for Kanade as well. Most people assume I'm high before they think I might be disabled though lmao. Generally not a nice thing to have but the paler I look and the worse my eye bags (unrelated! To the amount of sleep I get! People really don't get this one for some reason!) get, the worse symptoms I get and vice versa makes it easier for other people to notice I'm not doing so hot and need accommodations. The better the day is the healthier I look.
• Cold hands and feet that also look kind of purple-ish, especially on bad days. Not necessarily means disability (some people are just like that but are healthy) but tends to freak people out a bit in combination with everything else. Yes, my hands are cold even if it's 40°C outside. No, I can't help it. Wearing gloves/socks still doesn't help. My body just can't regulate my temperature normally. Messes me up with how difficult it is to type and write as my fingers get really sticky and clumsy. Possible for Kanade as well as she has difficulty typing on her phone, so might be connected with that?
Even if not POTS, I believe most people with some sort of cardiovascular disease also experience some if not most of those things, so that's to get you started so to speak haha.
She might also have iron-deficiency anemia both as a comorbidity and just a thing on it's own because of her dubious nutrition intake, and is likely also vitamin D deficient because the Sun, man. She doesn't even have her curtains open. So mentioning her having to take supplements for that can a nice touch for your writing, especially since those two things are fairly common conditions!
I personally also headcanon her as having (h)EDS, but that's a talk for another day.
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grippingbeskar · 2 years ago
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Hey lovely 😊 how's life? How are you REALLY doing?
I'm patiently waiting for 25th chapter of salt, ice and fire. 😇 It's totally fine if you want to concentrate on something else for a while, just wanted to know if you're okay 🥹
It is a coincidence, but everytime I had a shitty day, suddenly a new chapter came out and it always made me feel so much better. I'm having extremely hard time at work lately and everyday I'm hoping for the next chapter. At the same time I don't want it to end yet and the realization breaks my heart, so actually I'm glad you haven't posted it 🫠
I'm such a tragic piece of shit 😆
Anyway, can I have a tiny tiny request? I'd love a one shot with Frank with a lot of fluff and "sweeheart"(s) and love and just Frank being supportive and protective, basically anything that would take my mind off work. I've been getting up way too early, coming home late, the job itself is not so bad, but the people are awful. To be honest, everyday I come home shut the front door and just break down in tears.
Whoa, can't believe I made this about myself, when I was asking how are YOU doing. I still wanna know! 🙃
I hope I'm not asking too much, if you don't feel like writing it, I'll understand.
Take care 🖤
D
sweet loving— a SIAF drabble
— @lemon-world1 read the end of this fic for my long ass reply to this sweet message, i ranted a bit too long lmao 💞
— also, this can be read as a lil one shot, but it’s set in my series universe, salt, ice and fire, between chapter 24 and 25. but it’s just sweet and fluffy. this isn’t proof read i wrote it as soon as i got this ask so pls excuse any errors <3
— warnings: none. just happy thoughts :)
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Your shoulders ache, feet past the point of pain as you trudge through the door and slam it behind you. It wasn’t anything in particular— more everything all at once that was weighing on you. Even your hands shook as they through the keys on the table, the loud clatter like a final straw, making your eyes squeeze shut at the noisy intrusion.
You only make it about three steps forward before you hear him moving. It’s late— windows permanently drawn shut, but usually the light can trickle in when the sun hits, dancing along the old wood floors like shimmering diamonds. Not now though. Apart from the hue of the moon, the apartment is pitch black, so even if your eyes were open you wouldn’t see him coming. He clears the length of the living room in only a few long strides, your eyes not even having time to open before you feel him.
He doesn’t say anything, either because it’s so late and he doesn’t want to crack the silence or because he could tell it had been a long day. He always could just tell— it would of been unnerving, how easily he could read you, if you didn’t love it so much. His arms wrap tightly around your lower back, the other snaking under your ass so he can lift you up off the floor. Your legs relax around him, a years worth of tension floating down and away from you just in the way he holds you close.
Your head falls into the crook of his neck, back almost arching into the heat of his body. He had been asleep, you could tell because of how warm his skin was, and how he groaned lazily as he turned to walk you into your bedroom.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He murmurs, head dipping to kiss under your jaw. You can’t find words just yet, just humming in response as his lips continue their path down your neck. It’s all softness and sweetness, and it’s another way Frank manages to read you. He knows what you want before you ever have to ask for it.
You expect to be taken to bed, content to fall asleep in the clothes you were in all day if it meant staying attached to Frank’s body, but instead you feel the cold porcelain of the sink under your thighs. Your eyes flutter open, seeing the cool tones of your bathroom shadowed behind Franks body, his hands holding your head up.
“Hey.” You smile lazily, and he returns it, light sparkling in his eye when you nuzzle your face into his palm. “What’re we doing in here?”
“Getting changed.” He says simply, his hands travelling down to hook underneath your shirt and swiftly pull it over your head. You let him move you around, a sleepy smile on your face, content to do whatever it is he wants you to do. “Can’t sleep in jeans.”
“I can just sleep naked.” He leans into your open legs, chest pressing to yours as he laughs, the sound muffled in your hair. You feel his hands again, calloused and searching for the clip of your bra, undoing it like he has a thousand times before. It still sends a shiver up your spine.
“Heads always in the gutter, ain’t it sweetheart?” He pulls a shirt— his shirt, you can tell— over your head, before his hands come back to your cheeks to encourage you closer. He finally kissed you, and you sigh appreciatively, like he’s serving you something you’ve craved for months, though it had really just been mere hours.
The kiss is slow. His lips melt into your own, your body slumping forward to taste more of him. Your hands wander through his hair, down his neck to his shoulders, his skin still impossibly warm despite the chill air of the bathroom. You moan as his hands dip again, slowly working the button on your jeans. When they give, he slides you off the counter, and you whine when his lips leave yours.
“Frank.” You pout, and he shakes his head. You can see the smug smirk of his face from this angle as he sinks down in front of you, taking your jeans off and freeing your legs so you stood before him in just his shirt and your underwear.
He takes his time coming back up, hands sliding up the skin of your calves, slowly up behind your thighs, stopping on your ass. He can’t help himself even in the middle of the night, giving the flesh a light squeeze that he knows always makes you laugh before stilling on your hips.
“Didn’t realise you’d be so late, baby.” He flicks the lights off, sinking you both into darkness as he guides you back to your bedroom.
“Neither. Took too long.” You can’t think about the events of the day, not when he’s kissing you all over, worshipping every bit of you he can reach before he tugs you down on the bed.
“What happened?” He wraps his arms around you, trailing his fingers up and down your leg as he pulls you flush against his body.
“Someone was just… they said some shit when I walked past. Nothing crazy, I just— “ You whisper all of it in confession. “People are just the fucking worst sometimes.”
“Who?” Franks voice drops lower, a tone you only recognise when he’s holding a gun.
“I don’t know them. It’s fine, I just don’t want to think about it anymore.” Frank grumbles something aggressive under his breath, and you have no doubt he’ll push you on it tomorrow, but for now his hands are too distracting, and the wet heat of his mouth under your jaw has you sighing his name. “Fuck, Frank.”
“It’s late, baby. Get some sleep— I’ll take care of you in the morning.” His words drip like honey down your spine, full of care and affection you wouldn’t think was possible from someone who used to be so hard and cold to you. Now, it was impossible to place him acting with anything but utter adoration with you.
You hum again, and as much as you want to roll over and show him how much you appreciate him, the simple touches and gestures of this moment are sending you drifting off to a place of complete relaxation. So much so that you can feel sleep creeping up behind your closed eyes, Frank still kissing you softly on the top of your head before tucking himself behind you on the pillows.
“Love you, Frankie.” You feel him puff out a breath at the nickname, his smile evident on your skin.
“I love you, sweetheart.” He replies back, and you drift to sleep, knowing Frank will always give you exactly what you need, even if it’s as simple as a good nights sleep.
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—first hello. i want you to know this literally made me CRY. like tears were shed. you are the sweetest person ever i am actually a mess. i love hearing that the story has the ability to make you happy in any way, it’s all i ever wanted to do and i appreciate you so much! i am working on the next chapter, ngl i have been distracted watching the last of us and falling into a joel miller hole (he is just so fine i whfjeigkfj) BUT it’s coming!!!
—and i am in the same boat. i don’t want the story to end at all, and i think that’s why i’m putting off writing this next chapter. i know there’s one more after this, but i think i’ll have written everything i wanted to write for this series after the next two. so i think that will actually be it and i am EMOTIONAL! i think i’ll take a little break from series, because i miss writing one shots for frank BUT there is more series in the future, and i will definitely not stop writing for frank ever. he’s my number one forever and always.
—i’m so so sorry you’re having a hard time at the moment, but i hope this tiny lil moment right here helps a little!!! i’ve placed it in the SIAF world, and it’s literally the timeline right in between the last chapter and the next chapter, so i’m basically bribing you with this in hopes it’ll help until i finish the next chapter 😭
—okay i’ll stop ranting now, but as soon as i saw this ask i was like i need to write this right now because you deserve it. lots of love, and i hope things start to look up for you. xx
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siriusly-sapphic · 2 years ago
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What songs remind you of siriusxnarcissa?
Shipping Asks!
I love this question so much it gives me an excuse to go through my playlist for them so I picked out four in a few different vibes.
Why Do You Love Me by Charlotte Lawrence
This just describes their mutual "you're such a fucking disaster for wanting me, I love you" feeling. Obviously a very toxic dynamic there, but so all-consuming?
"I hate your friends, I hate your mum and dad, I hope they hate me back." Is them to a tee for the obvious reasons.
"A lot is wrong with you, to want to be with me. It's kinda sweet. We fight until someone is calling the cops, but you never blame it on me. You're so annoying." I'm writing a scene in a multichapter based on that second line lmao; they can get into such violent fights if they let go, and they like seeing that fire in each other, but at the end of the day it's almost always with this mutual understanding that it's part of the fun.
"Narcissist, come on give us a kiss. Let's have some fun with it." I mean, again, obvious reasons?
I Bet My Life by Imagine Dragons
This is a much more emotional, softer vibe almost? Less angry, just regret and remembering, nostalgic vibes. The impact they've had on each other, good and bad, and how long it lasts even after it's all gone to hell and they're living their respective lives.
"I know I took the path that you would never want for me I know I let you down, didn't I? I gave you hell through all the years." When they're younger and making the choices that are gonna influence the rest of their lives, the mutual hatred they have for each other's decisions, the betrayal they feel every time the other makes a choice that's so opposite from what they each consider the obviously correct one. Later, it's Narcissa looking back knowing she fucked up, too.
"I've told a million lies but now I tell a single truth. There's you in everything I do." This line kills me every time lmao. The acknowledging that they've had such a deep impact on each other's life and character through the years. Even if they want to deny it, it spills out in all the little details that make up who they are as people. It's been such a wild, overwhelming ride over the years, and those things stay with them.
Ruin My Life by Zara Larsson
Their destructive tendencies in full force, and how much their mutual need for destruction and pain makes them feel alive and makes the war feel a little more manageable. Especially on Narcissa's side, knowing full well that getting caught with Sirius Black of all people if going to destroy her marriage and her reputation and the socialite life she wants so badly? But she craves that risk?
"You set fire to my world, couldn't handle the heat. Now I'm sleeping alone and I'm starting to freeze. Baby, come bring me hell, let it rain over me." Their relationship is messy and painful and every now and then they call it off but in the end they always come running back, because it's exactly that hell they give each other that makes it worth their while to stay alive.
Perfect by One Direction
This is the fun side of it. The days and weekends where there's no pain, no fights, no curses flying around. Just fun. One chapter in the fic I'm working on is literally just them walking around the muggle parts of Nice, having a regular good time with no war and no family and no expectations to consider. It's what makes the rest of the dynamic feel a little less destructive.
"But if you like causing trouble up in hotel rooms. And if you like having secret little rendezvous. If you like to do the things you know that we shouldn't do, then baby I'm perfect for you." It's just the fun sides of sneaking around, getting a muggle hotel and living in anonymity for a night. Doing all the things especially Narcissa is not allowed, walking around cities in muggle dresses with his jacket around her shoulders, causing a little trouble. Would be the biggest scandal if anyone saw. Just pure fun.
this became more detailed than I expected LMAO I'm sorry, but I love it
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kaoarika · 4 months ago
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Just a vent thing because I feel shitty (this will be more meaningful shortly in a TMI manner)
GOOD god.
So, I don't know if I ever shared about it here, but from time to time I tend to happen some muscular pains around my hips/back and I'm always all "maybe it's because I sleep or sit in the most AWFUL position posible, I'm not 20 anymore" or "ovulation". I fear for a third (or fourth) secret thing, ngl, because own health stuff situation MAY lead to that and I may NOT be taking care of myself 24/7 (I want to disclose that I have hypothyroidism, and I am medicated), and, again, I'm not in my 20s anymore, so.
This pain I have may not even be muscular, I'm awfully aware, but you know. I was looking through my old tweets (because I complain about this on twt much more than here), and some of these tend to fall around whe I ovulate and while these may make SO much more sense (in the way that once I started to medicate my situation, my periods became much more regular and I started to feel more usual pms/menstrual symptoms), some other times, I do not know.
Last period cycle before this month's was the most painful I had have in a LONG while and I attribute that much more to the stress that I had between April and May (and early June). Luckily, after that one, I didn't complain much and I had a very much normal average period cycle (afaik or remember). But then, then...
This past Tuesday I woke up with an awful mood, and the area between my hips and lower belly started to hurt (also, started to have a back-related pain). Not much appettite, either. And I start to fear the worst. Also happen to be the days which I would normally ovulate (according to my calculations), so it would be a 1+1 = 2 situation, but then... I seemed to have constipation which also adds a neat asterisk to this at whole. Which is... so fucking fun... I even tried to take an ibuprophen but it didn't fix anything and the pain(s) persisted.
Yesterday I felt like dead, lmao. Not mood for anything, and I didn't want to move a lot because of this (so I wonder if the back-pain is related to this?) and it was all adding up to my constipation and stress, and it made me more and more annoyed (adding salt to the wound, it was raining outside). I tried to sit alright, I tried to get moving, etc.
I tried to get to the conclusion that, maybe this was all gastrointestinal, so I tried my best to fix the constipation itself, so you can imagine early this morning me doing almost everything suggested online (eating fiber, drinking (black) coffee, slight exercises, natural laxatives, drinking lots of water, etc.) until it worked this afternoon? But even so, I feel everything still got me later (did I do right or did I get a stomachache? I wish I could give a straight answer, I still feel slightly nauseous, too), :'), and I even used heat to warm these annyoing pains that still remain. And... that's pretty much where I am.
These pains or whatever are still somewhat bothering me. I know that my solution to fix everything is not a quick one, but at least I did something and that seems to be okay... but the rest? not so much.
One of the third or fourth things I don't want to think about is if it is related to my kidneys... but I cannot know for sure because, if I had a VERY serious problem, I feel it would be MORE obvious -and I mean, the back pain I have is somewhat located around my right kidney, I think?-, like I couldn't walk or even having a fever, but, what do I know?
Ugh, the more I think about it, is that I should go to get a general revision or something. Im still seeing my specialized doctor in a week and a half, and I GUESS, I should ask them about this. But even, so. I'm not sure of what else to feel like and do right now. There's a chance this is all related to my ovulation days/period and bad habits and stress and (possible) anxiety, and I'm paying it all now that I'm in my 30s. There's also a chance it would be a third or fourth secret thing and I'm pretty scared to find out.
Chances are that my (specialized) doctor might ask me to get a blood and urine test, but MAAAAAAAN...
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coridallasmultipass · 5 months ago
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Vent
I'm gonna fucking scream.
So all I needed to replace in my toilet was the flap inside the tank. That's it. Then my grandpa wouldn't let me just do that. He wanted to replace the whole entire internal works, because HE didn't like how long it took for the toilet to refill. (He doesn't use it, it's a toilet in my room that only I use.)
So we finally did all that today, I deep cleaned everything, and fucking killed my back and he wouldn't let me do anything besides clean. (Hilarious, really.)
Toilet works fine, but I'm suffering the humidity in my room because I'm currently (was) trying to keep a clean air room because I'm super allergic to the wildfire smoke. Had my air purifier on blast since I cleaned it.
So I'm just about to go get in the shower and uh oh. Carpet around my toilet is soaked. (Carpeted bathroom, sue me, I love it, except in this instance.)
The entire fucking downstairs is flooded in the room no one uses. So I have to kill my back even deader to move a bunch of shit and find out where the water is dripping (storage/junk room, ofc). And obviously it couldn't just drip inside the wall, it's dripping from the middle of the fucking ceiling. I have cups set up, it's that bad. (I didn't notice because I had flip flops on until I just decided to go shower!)
Grandpa takes apart and reassembles the entire tank while I'm doing damage control downstairs and put the old rubber seal back in at my request, and when I get back up he wants to refill the tank. Well, guess what, it's leaking from a new spot now, AND the rubber gasket seal again. He tightens the new spot and insists to leave the water open until tomorrow 'to see if it leaks more' WELL GUESS WHAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO FUCKING TELL BECAUSE THE FLOOR IS SOAKED AND I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH AN ENTIRE NEW TANK OF WATER ALL OVER THE FUCKING FLOOR AND DOWNSTAIRS. So I shut that shit off again and he rage quit.
I'm so fucking mad bro. All I needed to replace was a new flap. Nothing to do with the water. If he'd have just let me do that, we wouldn't be in the fucking gallons of water mess that's gonna make me and our dog suffer tomorrow because the window has to be left open until the entire downstairs and my bathroom dry. Pure summer heat and wildfire smoke.
I'm fucking panicking rn man. I'm so fucking allergic to the smoke. I'm never gonna get my room aired out again by the time it dries. I normally have a fucking humidity problem because of the new roof we got in 2020 not letting heat out. I'm losing my fucking mind rn.
All I needed was one fucking flap.
And my grandpa couldn't care less about water damage lmao. He just laughed it off and said there's nothing he can do.
God, I don't know what I'm gonna fucking do. I'm literally panicking. I don't want to sleep in wildfire smoke. I have allergies and enough other health problems. It's already been a fight to keep the doors closed during the day here. I have no control over the 24/7 open windows in my grandpa's room across from mine, blowing wildfire smoke into my room from there, too.
God, I still have to fucking shower, too. I can't just fucking knock myself out with pills rn. And this is so petty, but I have to use my mom's toilet now, and it's way too tall for me and angled in a way that's extremely painful to sit on, and to put it very bluntly I flat out cannot physically shit in a toilet shaped like this.
I'm in so much fucking pain, too. I haven't fucking recovered from my back injury that went out on May 26. It's still painful to stand or walk. And yesterday I did a whole bunch of stuff that really aggravated it out of necessity. And now the toilet this morning. And then the toilet and furniture downstairs this night. I'll be lucky if I can even get out of bed tomorrow, and I have TWO APPOINTMENTS AND ERRANDS, SINCE IT'S THE ONLY DAY MY MOM WILL BE HERE WITH A CAR. I FUCKING HATE EVERHTHING SO MUCH. I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE A CHILL NIGHT AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE FUCKING TOILET ANY MORE.
APPARENTLY THAT WAS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK. NEXT TIME I HAVE TO REPAIR SOMETHING, LESSON LEARNED, DON'T INFORM THE LANDLORD (GRANDPA).
I'm so fucking miserable right now, man. I literally fucking scrubbed my shower for the 3rd or 4th time this week because my OCD has been getting bad again and I literally went all fucking out used up the last of my pumice to get the toilet tank dust sediment stain off, like fuck man, if I'd have known I was gonna suffer more tonight, I would've just left it and saved my back the trouble.
I don't even want to shower, and if I only had therapy tomorrow, I wouldn't, but I HAVE to see the chiropractor, but again, this is gonna end up being about my back and not my jaw like it's supposed to be. And now therapy is gonna be about the fucking toilet and not my other issues.
Sad thing is, I can't just sit in the shower. It's not clean enough for me, because I was cleaning with vinegar earlier, not bleach, since I can't open the windows. Well, now the windows are open, but I can't physically clean it AGAIN. Need to save whatever long-forgotten memory of a spoon is left for if there's another emergency.
Can't even fucking take panic attack meds, because it's in the same class as one of the sleeping meds I NEED to take. So. Lol. Wish me luck trying to calm down.
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