#I'm hoping it's coherent? it's kinda structured like my thoughts

[ananke-xiii]

I've finally organized (the majority of) my posts with the proper tags! I'm so proud of myself, I genuinely thought I was never gonna do it but hey, miracles do happen after all!

It took me almost one year but now I've fully realized the importance of tags, this is what I call progress...

It was actually quite a helpful thing to do because I've identified what my major themes are and well, turns out I do write about a lot of stuff, don't I?

I'm sad to report that not all tags work for all posts, I don't know why this is happening and, honestly, I don't care right now. Things will sort themselves out... somehow... magically... in the future.... lol.

I like some of the names I've chosen, some others are too prosaic, what can I say? Inspiration comes and goes.

#myths we live by: general observations and/or criticism about the underlying myths that are prominent/popular in the stories I consume and that therefore play a part in my understanding of the world.

#movies in spn: it's not shocking news to anyone but once I've personally realized the depth to which movies in SPN are not just used as references but as foundational structures to write episodes on it was over for me.

#destiel and betrayal: dean and cas relationship as a marriage of (con)sorts based on betrayal.

#on resurrection: I see resurrections as rebellions against Time, a way to keep the past forever alive, which is the ultimate undead that must rise to be faced etc. And I use Supernatural to explore my obsession, thank you very much.

#billie won theory: I think Billie won because the weight of the role of Death in the narrative was eventually re-established. On one hand, it's a postive thing because Death is too much of a powerful symbol to be discarded the way it was in S10, it was bound to re-emerge. On the other, the way it was re-framed is quite... bad because it gives a problematic and conservative flavor to the finale where Death is glorified and romanticized. After all, let's all go back to the jolly old times that never were jolly, instead they're just old, and be content that there will be happiness in the after-life, yeah! No thank yewwwwww.

#phd in spn s12: I have a fascination with s12 which I can't really explain to be honest. I don't even like the BMOL storyline! But I love Mary and I LOOOOVE. LOOOOOOOOOOVE Kelly Kline so, you know. Maybe that's it.

#time travels in spn: I have a lot to say about time travels but I never manage to write down what I want the way I want so there's not so much in here for now. But maybe... somehow... magically... in the future... I'll be able to write coherently so that people can actually understand me etc.

#spn angels: I have. A.LOT.to say about them. I love them, they're the ultimate dysfunctional family. Apart from Cas, Metatron is my fave, be warned.

#spn s9 is complicated: well, nothing more to add. It is what it is. BUT, ALSO. S9 is kinda good, like... the episodes are, like, not bad at all. And the plot more or less makes sense which is a huge compliment for Supernatural.

#super-m/Others: mothers in SPN are my favorite thing. I mean, I know this is supposed to be THEE show about absent fathers but I honestly don't care, SPN mothers are wild and most of them are also dead. Lot to think about.

#spn lines: some lines that I like or that I want to analyze.

#jack the puer: I have this theory, you know, and it's about Jack and how he perfectly fits the Junghian archetype of the "Puer Aeternus" and one day I'll write more about it, hence the tag. It's like a promise to myself.

#b/w spn: this is about how SPN is a show about dichotomies and how sometimes the lines between polarities get blurred and some other times (too many times) are reinforced much to my chagrin.

Okay, soooooo, finally.... Order in my land of Chaos! Hope you enjoy it! <3

[bonesandthebees]

I care about Rose! In fact, we started watching house of dragon (only 2 episode so far though) and it constantly makes me think of Rose because you use it as inspiration. Like obviously there’s the coronation scene which reminds me of stars. And there’s the character Willum is sorta kinda inspired by. And it’s an entirely different world, but every time I’m drawn back to Rose wondering how things will play out. (Which is not pressure to finish writing it if you don’t want to. Writer’s block can be a bitch and I get that the motivation for this project has been sucked out, but I just want you to know that I still care, and I’m not the only one.)

Also, I’ve been meaning to start my Ready, Set, Detonate analysis but I keeps getting away from me. I’m not sure there will be much to analyse, but there’s definitely fun details I want to point out. Oh and I am Looking 👀 at the fit/pac tag and kicking my feet. I don’t actually know if they are already in a relationship (I’m sure we’ll find out, but I just loved Fit’s little “Pac’s here?” That man is gone. Oh and I’m so excited for this Tubbo and to read more Bagi and the lore. Just all of it.

Then the original writing is a mood. I keep getting like a few chapters into my story before deciding it’s not good enough or thinking of something else I could do and throwing it all out. It’s this constant loop that never seems to get anywhere even though the story gets more and more fleshed out in my head every time. I think it’s because the opportunities are endless. Like there’s no characters and personalities and dynamics to stick to like there is in fan fiction. It’s free game but that does mean you have to decide everything yourself.

Anyway, best original writing advice I can give is remember the drafting process. There’s going to be a shit ton of drafts, which feels different for you because you’ve been mostly writing stories and posting them as you go, which means some minor or major editing, but leaves you without a chance to do a once over. It’s a sort of pressure to get everything right the first time. Meanwhile, original writing is something you keep close to your chest. There’s different drafting stages ranging from the zero draft (aka excessive daydreaming about all the possibilities) to the final draft (where you just go through and kill all your darlings and pour over ever single word to find the right one).

I’m struggling a lot with the first draft, which is literally just getting words onto a page. It’s a somewhat coherent mess that just allows you to shape the story and its structure so you can work off of that and edit it later on. I don’t know if this actually helps, but yeah, the first draft sucks and then it mostly gets easier. Just write, is kinda shitty advice, but it’s mainly, just get words onto a page, you will get a million chances to fix it, you don’t need to be happy about what you wrote right now.

-🌲

ohhhh I'm so excited you've started watching hotd!! good timing since the second season is going to come out later this year :D I hope you enjoy!! and I'm so happy to hear you're still excited about rose. I definitely want to finish writing it, like I said it's just me worrying about if anyone will bother to read it but a lot of you have said you would so that helps assuage my worries a bit

feel free to send whatever random thoughts you have about ready set detonate you know idc if it's analysis or not I just love seeing peoples reactions!! fit and pac are not in a relationship (yet) in the fic but theres a lot of flirty pining going on lol

god yeah it's so much harder with original fiction because it feels like there's so much pressure. you have too much freedom to do whatever you want so you're constantly second guessing if it's good enough or not. and ofc I know rough drafts are supposed to be shitty but I've tried to hone my skills so that my first draft is always incredibly solid because I rarely have the patience to do heavy edits, but that's with fanfiction. it has to be different with original fiction I know but it's hard to make my brain okay with that. I keep feeling like it needs to be nearly perfect on the first run :( but yeah I'm mostly trying to get words on a page. but then I think back and realize I forgot to mention this or I need to mention more of that etc etc and it's just stressful arghhh

[longeyelashedtragedy]

gimme a whole speech on the writing of visited upon the sons, pls

ok! i hope you mean this for real and aren't going to laugh at me for giving a whole long serious answer (omg sometimes the 'i was a weird kid' instinct kicks in) but i assume your kindness 💙🤍

random trivia: i almost never write with music on, cause my head is so wild about music that it's too distracting, but i wrote this with "money" by pink floyd on repeat and i'm honestly not sure why? (i also wrote "digestif" listening to motorhead...not sure why either but u gotta roll with it)

where to start...

i wrote a really big chunk of the beginning while standing under some scaffolding waiting for a freak summer downpour to end so i could go get iced coffee. that's my favorite way to write--in a weird place on my notes app full of autocorrect mistakes and other things like that because i'm so in the zone that my brain is going way too fast for my fingers to keep up.

i was sooooo Absorbed in fact that i didn't realize until a couple days later that i had written it really oddly without realizing? You know how in 3rd person pov even if you're writing one person's perspective and you're in their head so you know their emotions, thoughts etc, you still narrate with the character's name? Like...Mason chokes on the the sip of water he was trying to take.  “Uhhh…that’s kind of fucked up?” he manages to squeak out in between coughs.  This is making him think things he doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to think doesn’t want to—He coughs again and runs his fingers nervously through his fluffy hair. that kind of thing? what i realized is that i had written this POV really strangely and tho frank is the POV he never refers to himself by name? is that a thing? i was like "well that's weird" and tried to fix it but the fic refused...it made the POV feel too distant when the point of the fic is that he's increasingly lost in his own mind. the closer you as the reader are to that, the better. i trust my writing instincts like--if i instinctively wrote that way then it must have been for a reason! (note that the middle section is written in the "traditional" 3rd person way which again just--felt way better because that section is soooooort of a coherent narrative--which is also kinda done for a reason)

however this meant i had to repeat mason's name WAY more than sounds natural so it wasn't confusing, and if i just Did that with no explanation, that's the kind of thing i'd pick up on as a reader and would consider to be unforgivably bad writing. so, i called it out directly in the fic, and gave it an in-world reason, which then actually became the fic summary 😂 (Mason, his Mason—It’s the repetition that dulls the emotions (some people would call that repression, wouldn’t they, but that word implies something wrong with one’s mental state and there’s nothing wrong at all) My fic my rules!

this fic was written really in like, 2 or 3 days of writing. it was nearly impossible to just write little bits here and there. this pov was very demanding of my full attention because i also had to disappear into franko's mind to write it and it's hard to just like, do that when you have 10 spare minutes. because of this i almost gave up on it because it felt like i'd never be able to regain the momentum of the first writing day and also--also--i struggled with the structure SO HARD. my initial plan was to have the fic start out normally, and then intersperse frank's memories with the present, and each time he re-joins the present from a memory he gets more and more fucked up. (and of course, mason is clueless to it at first, and then he's all ?????) you can see lil remnants of this throughout--i think mostly in the beginning when he pours the rosé. (His fist clenches around the bottle as he pours and Mason catches that too. For fuck’s sake, he’s not supposed to.) Initially, the first section of the memories section--Dad getting too worked up about young!frank wanting to drink something pink--was going to come right before that, so there was a direct context--oh, he's remembering that while he pours. BUT--

that happened to work there, but i realized if i kept doing it like this i was going to be imposing something way too restrictive on the rest of the fic. i'd have to create each bad memory and then make the corresponding "present day" section relate to that memory and there'd be no way to make that happen naturally without seriously forcing some part of the story, and who wants that? this got me so stressed out especially as the (self-appointed) King of the Flashback that i wondered if i should just leave them out altogether. somehow i decided to write all of the flashbacks i would want to have in an entirely separate document, and then just write the "present" parts all at once, and then decide how i'd want to combine them.

2nd trivia point: because of this, this was one of the only fics in recent memory i've ever written relatively in order from start to finish. usually i write a beginning and an end and then fuck around in no order in the middle till it's done.

i can't quite remember what happened next, but i think i then did skip a bit to writing the end, and suddenly my mind wanted to develop something that came up earlier in the fic, at the beginning, where he refers to the feeling of something pursuing him. i think i meant that more in a vague sense at the time, and wasn't going to explore it, but (maybe something from @new-berry inspired me? possibly?) considering how fucked-up i wanted him to be at the end vs the beginning, and how coming out of a dissociative episode your relationship to yourself and to the world around you can be really wonky and fucked up--at least in my personal experience--i realized what if i could make that concept a lot more Real, and put in the imagery of a ghost in the room. but what kind of ghost? well, obviously not an uwu scary ghost, but you can come to your own conclusions as to what he thinks is "haunting" him.

this meant that i could write that last paragraph, which sincerely is one of my fav endings i've written in a long time, and as often happens when i write endings, the whole fic then made sense to me. and i realized instead of writing scattered memories and having frank's behavior in the present Escalated, i was going to drop the entire memories narrative into the fic in one big chunk, creating a story within a story, and have it be so all consuming that he completely loses track of what is happening. (which i feel like is an especially wild thing to do while you're having a Sexual Encounter and thus leaves mason rightfully disturbed--love me some Wretched Sex!!! sorry!)

i had a couple people tell me they completely forgot what was supposed to be happening while they were reading it, which made me so happy because that was what i wanted!

when i see this mf i see a dude who is so tormented and repressed and shaped by how he was treated as a kid. his dad made football his life so oppressively (in some ways) that he has, as he's said, no hobbies other than football and reading and now that football is no longer a good place for him there's just nothing left. add that to the fact that he clearly has never ever really healed from his mom's death in 2008 (and you can say a lot about his disingenuousness and lack of accountability as a coach, but the extended part about how he dealt with grief and loss on the diary of a ceo podcast was so fuckin real and it was a bit wild to see a famous person be so open) i feel like someone like this has a mind like a haunted house and can't quite go about things "normally." i wanted to create this feeling in the fic.

the best writing experiences turn into therapy sessions and when i was done writing i realized that i was expressing something about myself through it, which is how uncomfortable i feel in situations with a lot of very cishet expectations, as someone who is VERY not het and stealthily very not cis. i had already known this of course from conversations with coworkers, but this fic made me realize how much i fucking resent it--how much anger i feel toward it really--which was...interesting to learn about myself i guess.

anyway that's visited upon the sons for ya. i'm sure i left something out, but i feel sad that i'm no longer writing it, cause it was one of those experiences that make me think writing is fun. i always think writing is fun, but you know what i mean?

(footnote: my fic that i've been referring to as 'bitter mutual cheating' takes place around 2 months after this one, and it's from mason's POV and he reduces the whole upsetting experience to one line (Frank sounds panicked, and there’s only one other time that Mason can remember hearing him sound like this–that night with the West Ham jersey where Frank seemed to go kind of crazy and he had to tell the guys in the dressing room that it was his sister’s cat who had scratched the shit out of his back) which is just kind of a fun mindfuck for me. 7000+ words of agony but all mason even was aware of was...that, lol.)

(OH, i forgot! in the last line: Holding his Mason tight like it loves him, that word "like" is important. is he realizing--just for a moment--that his "love" for Mason is just kind of a placeholder for something else? someone else? we'll see...)

[grubliinu]

Hello, apologies if this is interrupting your day but i absolutely in love with your writing which is very immersive! I want to write like you. Do you have any recommendations for sources and tips of writing for beginners? Also thank you so much for all the fics. Love them <3

Aaaa oh my gosh this comment just made my day, thank you so much I'm really flattered you think so highly of my writing skills! Sorry it took me a while to reply, I have been busy and wanted to take my time writing a reply. Hopefully, you'll find this useful!

I can't think of any specific sources I have used but my tumblr should have some stuff if you search the ''writing'', writing stuff'' and writing reference'' tags (I think those are the ones I use but man, I really should organize them better lmao) But here are also some other tips I use frequently while writing that I can think from the top of my head:

1) Make a separate document to ''doodle'' on This is a big one for me. I'm not quite sure what kind of writer you are (are you the type to meticulously plan everything before you start writing, or do you go with the flow?) so I don't know how useful this is for you, but I am strictly the former. When I start planning a fic, I make two files – the actual fic, and a separate document that is basically a sketchbook but for writing. There, I write down everything, from ideas to random bits of dialogue that I thought sounded cool and could be used in the future.

Another thing this doodle document is super useful for is creating summaries. Since I write a lot of angst, I often have to write scenes that deal with the character's emotions and inner thoughts. While I like writing that type of stuff, I often struggle to articulate my thoughts and interpretation into something coherent that I can put into words and I have discovered that simply writing a short breakdown essay of every aspect I want to explore in that particular scene. For example, in chapter 4 of Lungs Full of Roses, when Childe destroys the hilichurl camp, in that scene, I wanted to establish how he views his relationship with the tsaritsa and family, as well as reveal how he really feels about Zhongli, so I wrote separate sections for Tsaritsa, Childe's family, and Zhongli, and how Childe feels about them using very simple terms.

I also tend to never erase anything from those documents so that I can revisit an idea in the future. Instead, I just make the font smaller for those parts!

2) Balance between purple prose and ''pragmatic'' (idk what to call it really) This is especially related to your question since this is something that is constantly on my mind as I write – I love using a poetic style of writing full of words that I think sound pretty. However, I personally can't read writing that only consist of that type of purple prose, so I often have to resist the temptation to add more poetic flair to the more mundane parts. But honestly, sometimes you just gotta focus on making the plot move from point A to point B and that's okay! Every sentence doesn't have to be a work of art – in fact, I personally think (or hope in the case of my own writing) that saving the poetics for the more emotional scenes makes them hit even deeper.

3) Use gestures to convey emotions This is like an actual tip from writers but it's also something I try to be aware of when I write. Instead of using something like 'he felt angry', try something like 'he clenched his fist' etc. to convey the anger. The Internet is full of lists of body language and gestures that are created for writers and I recommend checking those out! You can also use metaphors to convey emotions – using the example above, you could write something like ''anger surged through him like a wave''. I like to mix gestures and metaphors.

You can also use the structure of the sentence to convey emotion. For example, if the character is angry, use short sentences. If they're panicking, convey that panic by using a longer sentence that just kinda spirals into panic. (I don't know how to explain so here's an example from Lungs Full of Roses where Childe is both angry and panicking lmao)

[Childe breathed in. Out. He felt trapped, like a giant beast in a small cage, and Archons how he hated it. Hated how his skin crawled with the need for action, hated how his instincts were screaming at him about nonexistent eyes watching his every movement even though he knew that he was alone. A part of him, the part that had been forged by the suffocating mists of the Abyss, itched to destroy his room, no, actually the room wasn't enough – destroy the hotel, the city, the whole goddamn region that prided itself on the fictitious freedom and cloying wine until nothing but ashes remained.] 

As you might have noticed, I wrote ''he felt trapped'' – which is what I just said to avoid. However, I remember thinking that the scene needed something short and simple and I figured that this was the way to go – which goes to show that the rules of writing aren't set in stone and you can absolutely break them if you want (imo the only rule I think everyone should follow is to USE PARAGRAPHS if you write fics, it is really hard to read fics that don't use them)

Annnd that's about what I can currently think of, hopefully, there was something that you find useful! My writing style is something that has been developing for over ten years so it is hard for me to like actually explain it so I'm really sorry this is so disjointed. Again, thank you so much for your kind words, I'm so glad that you sent me this message anon!

[likelycatherinemay]

Diary 9/?

I don't know what to write about. It feels like when all the artists expected COVID to cause them to have some massive epiphany about being alive, but then, you realize that art doesn't work like that and feel sad. I feel sad. COVID did have an alternate effect on my brain, and it was humbling. It was realizing I was not as good of a writer as I thought I was.

We all have to write essays for college and explain why we'd be the perfect little pupil to ever grace the campus. I got all these grandiose ideas about how I would knock the socks off the reader and well exceed my test scores.

Then, I handed my essay to my grandmother. For context, both of my grandmothers are the smartest people on either side of my family. This grandmother, my Nana (love you Nana), was raised in southern West Virginia with seven other siblings.

Broke: Dad lore.

Woke: Your grandmother who had seven siblings, but three of them died before 18 in tragic ways (apparently?). Also, she went to college at 16, speaks German, and is one of the smartest people you know.

Anyway, the most relevant fact to this story is she was an English teacher. Southern West Virginia English teachers have a particular sense of rigid grammatical structures, or at least, everyone that I have met does. Their strongest warrior? My Nana.

She looked up from reading it. There was no sign of sympathy in her face. Then, we sat down for the most humiliating 30 minutes of grammatical schooling of my life. That was, embarrassingly, the first time someone had told me what stream-of-consciousness writing is. I hope you like it because you're reading it. After many deep sighs from my Nana, we cobbled together something coherent. I got into college, yada, yada, yada.

I think about what I wrote in my essay from time to time. Some bullshit about how I wanted to be 'free' of my home, but I wanted to 'embody' it. There were too many substantial ideas for 500 words. My shoddy little essay was shameful, and I cannot imagine what it could have been without my grandmother.

Perhaps there will be time to talk about my other fantastic grandmother, or tell you a more interesting story concerning my Nana. For now, I'll leave you with my little nugget. Call your people. They might be fed up or frustrated with you and your efforts, but they're gonna love you if you love them. Family, found or blood, has a way embedding itself. There is plenty of me that is incomprehensible to my Nana that grew up in rural Appalachia 50 years ago. But I know she's gonna love me. And I know I'm gonna love her.

I'm reading Wake of Vultures right now. I already miss R.F. Kuang and actually questionable morality. I am also reading Black Boy by Richard Wright. It's pretty good, surprise, surprise.

It's a fascinating time in my life. I've been skirting the bottom for long enough that I'm happy. Does make any sense? I'm so okay with feeling kinda shitty that I'm smiling at nothing.

"Oh, I am just a kid

I never use my brain

I only use my heart

And my imagination."

(Kinda lame song, but it's hard sometimes guys :( )

[senotsuri]

In a rambly mood... Screw it, I'm talking about Takami.

So Takami's a bullied kid, bullied for cheating in a kid's card game with marbles. The reason is even worse when you find out that she was lead to believe that her opponent didn't mind.

Because of her blunder, the rule bender community in Bakugan, the one that she found herself in, now has a visual method to tell one of them apart (a badge, usually. Sometimes it's painted onto the back of jackets instead), and an extra password; all of this is to keep them from being banned for testing the limits of the rules.

Takami's relationship with Aiko, the brawler that tricked her for her own gain, is unfixable, much like the opinion of most of the player base towards Takami.

Hell, she's a shut in. She's had all her bakugan taken from her. All her cards, too, and her bakupod.

She can't return! She'd be noticed trying to, and stopped before she can do anything.

Right? Not quite, at least given that Alice gives her a new one, or two. To Alice, the second is a backup; just in case the other breaks.

But to Takami, there's one for her, and one for Halcyon. Takami knows she's Halcyon. Halcyon knows she's Takami. Masquerade knows too, but that's it, among humans.

While it's unclear how Takami even got her hands on bakugan again, she seems happy to have them.

Too bad they were stolen from collectors, huh? The brawlers don't need to know though! It's fine!

Halcyon herself uses a rattleoid, a tuskor (who knew they came in ventus!) and a ravenoid. Usually battling as clean up duty (Masquerade's useless minions need to be taught their lesson), Halcyon rarely uses the doom card, even wincing as she drops it into the field.

But she's not being controlled to do it.

Her goals aren't to do with the doom dimension, either. They're to do with Earth and Vestroia. Humans, and the twin cores.

Revenge mostly, of course, but this revenge, to her, needs extra purpose. So why not turn the people who banned her, and are working against her and Masquerade, into overflow batteries for Naga? Naga won't blow up from too much power, then!

If the batteries are rewarded richly after their punishment, then they shan't rebel, right? It's how that novel went, if Takami remembers correctly.

But one of them is so nice, does he really deserve all this? Of course he does he practically authorised her pain!

Although the second is blunt, and uncaring if his bluntness hurts, he did care that she was beaten by the bullies... Ah, but he only cared about that. He never cared about her.

Neither of them knew about the sub-community, they would've banned all of them if they knew. They'd hate knowing that their rules weren't good enough!

This story is a tradegy. Tragedies rarely have happy endings, and this one doesn't unless a miracle happens... but that's a fake out.

Is being locked up in your home out of pure guilt and helplessness (a loss) really worse than being locked away behind your hated alter ego (a win, technically, especially as it's a line of defense for Vestroia)? Takami doesn't know, but she'll have to figure out her answer one day.

For now, she just hopes that Naga can make good on his promise; heal her scars, and erase her Aiko-caused problems.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I read your opinion on J-Hopes new song and I would like to share some of my own opinions and observations, if I may. Overall I agree that the concept for the MV with this song is...a bit higgeldy piggeldy. I believe that the visuals were probably more catered towards a 'vibe' to fit the rock genre and while visually and technically it was still a good MV, it's true in terms of the general Kpop genre it's weak. And with that I want to segue into the actual song a little bit. Again, in terms of how we know kpop to be structured musically they have different way of structuring their music, which is why lots of people in the west often find it quite jarring in the beginning, since they're used to the way we structure our songs in the west. And that's the thing with this song...which I think might also be influencing your opinions on how this song is not as much as it could have been. After listening to it a few times, I actually think this song is very western in structure. Because otherwise production wise and from the flow, this is a great song, the genre blending from a technical standpoint is so good. It's so hard to do successfully without sounding either really kitschy or jarring. The mixing is so good, the wall of guitars. Urgh. The production. So good. The verses are so punchy. The starts are so on point. Though sometimes it's hard to tell where you are in the song, but it kinda works with the whole feeling of the song. The beat is pretty simple, but it helps with the blending too. I wish I was half as good at that when I work on audio projects.

(Maybe I'm just really excited that rock is making a comeback, I've been hoping for this to catch on in popular music again since harry styles first solo album and the nods to the early 2000s pop-rock coming out of olivia rodrigo? rhodrigio? maybe I'll finally be inclined to listen to chart music again instead of just observing the market and production trends)

But yes, either way, I wasn't expecting a rock genre to come out of J-Hope and I am actually pleasantly surprised. At the very least it's a nice change from the very very very bland pop we got from the past 2 years. It may not be groundbreaking. But let's be honest...they may not be fully mainstream, but by now they are mainstream enough (in the west I mean, well kinda, I mean it's still niche but I think you get the point) to get themselves trapped in the pitfalls of mainstream music production. Especially with how much western market value is on the line at present. I don't want to speculate but who knows, maybe HYBE had a say in how far he could take it. For my part I am excited to see what the rest of the album has to offer so I can form a more rounded opinion. So sorry for the rant, I'm not sure it's fully coherent I feel a migraine coming on. Fucking weather is throwing me for a loop. Hot, cold, thunderstorms, hot again, cold, rainy, hot, thunderstorms. I feel like a 70yo with rheumatism. Either way, I'm interested to read what you think.

Hi anon! Thanks for adding your thoughts in terms of technical aspects. That's quite helpful in trying to understand how the song is created, what works and what not. You were coherent enough, no worries. Yep, this weather is a bitch. It's so hot that I struggle as well to write a text that makes any sense or even start at all and then I just choose to lounge.

You made a good point about the song being actually more western in terms of sound and production wise. It's definitely different than how a K-Pop song is made. The flow really is different. And while I do think it was an interesting choice for Hobi and perhaps he thought that given what he wants to express with his music as a solo artist from now on, this would work better, I still think the flow doesn't work. Now, I know you said it does and you explained why. Obviously you're more of an expert in this field, but for me as a listener, it just didn't work. It felt a bit all over the place, too fragmented. I mean, I listen to punk, I'm familiar with just noise and some screams for 3 minutes, so the genre is not the problem. Perhaps the song came across to me like that because this is not something that Hobi is well versed in. It doesn't sound like a song made by a musician that knows his way around the genre, but more like a kid in his bedroom who really wants to sing like those rock bands he likes, but he barely has any experience, so the first song doesn't come out very good.

But anyway, I also think it's important to listen to the entire album to form a more rounded opinion, but this single also set the tone for what's to come so it's important to have that in mind as well.

[calamitys-child]

Hey, could you explain a bit how Javert is “weighed down by the guilt of living”? I saw him as fully believing he was a good person who’d done no wrong. I’d love to hear your take :)

Sure! So obviously all character interpretations are valid, there are various different performances which emphasize different aspects of the character etc, but here are my personal Thoughts on Javert

He punishes himself for his birth. That's kinda a key cornerstone of his whole identity; he was born out of wedlock, son of a criminal and a Romani woman, both of which were heavily stigmatised by society and by the law. He resents his parents for his birth and he would happily arrest them if ever he saw them again, something Hugo expressly states in the novel. It's a conflict I think is really interesting especially in the musical song "Confrontation" going from "Men like you can never change, men like me can never change" to "I was born with scum like you, I am from the gutter too" - he seems to simultaneously acknowledge that the circumstances of the poverty stricken in "the gutter" lead to crime, but insists that he is different. Surely, by his own admission, he has then changed? It's a conflict that shapes his character a lot

He joins the police as he sees it as the other extreme of living outwith society; "those who attack it and those who guard it". He clings to the rigid structures of the police force as a way to forcibly ingratiate himself with this power structure; if he is part of it, he is not persecuted by it. It's clearly motivated by self hatred - he doesn't ever seek to join society and live a free life, only to move from one outcast position to another as all he is fit for.

Hugo wrote that Javert rarely spends time in self reflection due to finding it "singularly painful" due to "internal rebellion"; he's aware of the contradiction in his nature and the arguable hypocrisy of the path he's chosen. When he finally has to fully face up to this, he's so unmoored by the undeniable proof that the law is immoral and morality is illegal he sees manifest in Valjean that it literally kills him.

Basically, Javert has a lot of internalised self hatred due to his birth, his family, and his childhood. This makes him treat himself as though undeserving. He is constantly aware that his position is one which leaves him hated by society, and that it is a precarious position, which he could at any moment fall from and become hated even more. It's not that he believes he has done no wrong; it's that he is constantly holding himself to the highest possible standards out of sheer terror of doing something wrong and being cast out. Less "by default I'm doing everything right" it's more like "everything I do is wrong I have to be so careful and impossibly strict to make sure nobody catches on"

Man's just so miserable all the time and doesn't think he deserves anything and that's the cruelty of capitalism, essentially

I hope this was coherent and I'm sorry if it came across like an essay I'm very tired and have been writing essays non stop for four days so it's all I know how to do rn 😅

[wrong--lever]

Your Thoughts for OW’s Lore At Blizzcon

**Edit - would help to tag you hurr durr @freckledmccree

I like how you will indulge in detailed speculation and interpretation of OW lore and don’t center all ideas around one specific (noncanon) idea but will admit occasional personal bias. I also really appreciate that you steer relatively clear from fanon and when people respond to your writings you don’t have an attitude or seemingly disregard them. Sooo, that’s why I wrote this disgustingly long thing even tho I’m paranoid about being annoying.

 (Apology beforehand if you have answered any of these before, I have not properly stalked your blog yet. Also, excuse my rambling I did my best to be coherent. Lastly, I only have one friend who is kinda into OW and I feel bad to bother them 24/7 so I talk a lot in this.)

McCree Speculation

The following assumes that the new cinematic will be McCree’s.

If there is another known character in the short along with McCree, excluding flashbacks, who do you think it would be? 

I have 3-4 ideas even though I would not say they are likely. And with any of these I don't imagine a role any larger than Brig's in Honor and Glory or even Zarya in Infiltration.

A.) Genji. I don't think it's likely but I wouldn't be surprised. It also might be risky on Blizzard's part because many are salty about Genji's abundance of lore compared to others. (Which is dumb and I would gladly rant on it but it's not the point) Reasons:

Notable increase of McCree's interactions w/him.

McCree might've left OW in a less professional fashion than others. Which would mean he may not have anything to be alerted by for the recall. Especially since he went underground for a while.  Winston’s contact info? Long since changed.

From how I interpret “Dragons” it seems that Genji has received the call as well as offered Hanzo a choice to go w/him “The world is changing once again, Hanzo. And it's time to pick a side.” So why not others?

Genji has also been canonically in touch w/at least one other ex OW member. So why not try to get in touch with another member that we know he directly worked with?

My logic - Why would their interactions matter?

McCree's asking about how Genji dealt with the loss of his body emotionally/physically as well as Genji's response leaves room for the implication that Genji knows how he lost his arm.

Why would Genji go in person?

Well, I mean you probably don't wanna broadcast that your getting the highly illegal band back together. In which said band also is also hated by the UN and every other terrorist organization on the planet.

How will Genji know how to find him?

Cause he's a ninja, duh. But seriously McCree most likely said something before he quit OW and if not Genji would just have to look at the news and he'd be there.

B.) Sombra. If anything I wouldn't be surprised by a small reference to her rather than actually seeing her.

Reflections comic (duh)

My logic - I expect Sombra to get involved with a little bit of everything. She likes making people question their beliefs on who is “right” or “wrong”. 

She would most likely know about the recall so if she wants to manipulate that at all she could be the one to tell McCree about it. Idk, she’s a wildcard with anything.

C.) Fio. The Blackwatch Pilot in Retribution. (I used “known” characters loosely) I'm not sure on my certainty with her, tbh. But I do find it rather intriguing. (I said no flashbacks but maybe with this one)

Fio's only lines that are not directly related towards the mission are all directed towards McCree.

The tone of them is clearly on the teasing/banter side of things.

My logic - Why have this side character show any interest in conversation outside of the task at hand? 

If she was just being used for the game mode and as lore filler it would make more sense to have only lines relating to the mission. Or have generalized ones for the team. But she has multiple focusing on the one and only Jesse McCree.

Reasons for that could be that they ran out of time to add other interactions. Which would explain why McCree does not acknowledge her comments. (The only time he was quiet during the mission is when she talked to him, rip you got denied girl) Or it could be that they knew each other previously or trained together in some of the early days of Blackwatch.

D.) Mercy. This one I would be surprised to see but it would have some logic to it.

Losing his arm, depending on the how/when/where.

She is not one of the characters who speak to him about his arm.

My logic - Who fixed his arm up for him?

Depending on how/when/where he lost his arm he may have shyed away from public hospitals. Especially with Talon  seemingly controlling so much of the press. So he may of wanted someone he personally trusted as well as doctor patient confidentiality.

Why does Mercy of all people not ask about the prosthetic? 

Out of the people who question McCree Mercy isn't one of them. Which may seem odd since she has known him for so long and her being a doctor. However, she does call out his smoking. So this proves she does pay attention to his over all health. (Which I am aware is a much older interaction) But it would have been a good opportunity to have her inquire about the arm there if she doesn't already know.

 Do you think McCree will directly receive the recall or from some other source?

What do you think of the fact that McCree lost his left arm specifically?

If the loss of McCree's arm is related to the Deadlock Gang do you speculate that it was intentionally the arm that had his tattoo on it? With how far McCree got in his career/life with OW and potentially spilling info on the gang when caught some people might want him to hurt. Not just die. To me forcefully sawing off the branding of the gang he betrayed would fit the bill. As well as be a good warning for others. (Not that blizzard would show that)

How do you imagine the camaraderie within Deadlock to be?

I ask this since in “Hero” right before the Los Muertos member throws the grenade it shows him actively choosing to help the other gang members (very broken gang members thanks to Soldier 76)onto the back of the truck instead of getting out ASAP. 

I just found that to be notable in how their social structure works. It makes more sense for Los Muertos specifically since they originally wanted to stand up against the politics and speak out for the people still suffering from the Omnic Crisis. They are not formed from the shady work they do.

Deadlock, however, doesn't seem to represent a core ideology. So I wouldn't be surprised if when OW caught some of them the others ran. Especially since McCree would probably still be pretty low in the pecking order at the time.

Can you imagine a shoot out in the warehouse tho, that'd be so risky people could be anywhere and there's no good line of sight except for where the truck drives through. Sneaky teen McCree climbing around and ish

Do you expect/hope for the origin on any mementos to be revealed?

My only idea is his iconic BAMF belt buckle. We know he's had it for quite a while since he wears it here: 

Just  thought Blizzard could do something cute with it if they wanted.

Do you have any thoughts on the Deadlock Torb skin?

Idk, this is kinda silly but people have talked about it. People do have a good point that it’s odd for him to have that skin.

Lastly, do you have any little head canons that you hope to see confirmed? 

Nothing serious just simple personal hopes from the cinematic which may or may not set you up for disappointment cause fun

(When I first started writing this I had two questions, rip. I'm pretty sure I forgot one of the original questions too)

Other Blizzcon Lore Speculation

Do you have any ideas for the new hero?

Personally, I do not have any super strong theories but I do have a few loose ideas. Tbh, I can’t especially convince myself of any these besides the likelihood of said character being a tank.

A.) Talon Tank

Reasons:

Moira’s origin story contains two possible indicators towards this, or another Talon member in general.

We need another main tank added to the roster (opinion)

Talon has a character for every role except tanking (weak)

Popular request (weak)

My Logic lacking- Majority of this idea comes from Moira’s origin story which shows this relatively well known photo with a person or armored suit of some kind on the back panel here: 

I used to think of this to be much harder evidence than I do now since it looks like it could be a uncolored design used for the Talon members in Retribution. However, there’s another detail in the photo (including the version with the different back panel that I believe could point to another member. Each character, excluding Moira, has their line of sight going to the same spot. My doodles for emphasis:

(Reaper is kind of hard to tell but that’s basically his entire role in Talon at this point, lol) Who are they all looking at? This could just be an artistic choice for viewer immersion but it also could be rather purposeful. To me, it looks like a proposition to someone, with the panel in the back for emphasis. If not a proposition, perhaps the workings of a plan or setting clear expectations for said person. (either version works for this context) This someone must be rather important to have them all there. Moira is looking back at the rest of them, seemingly reading their expressions/body language. She seems pleased but then again she’s a tad bit odd.

B.) Mystery Characters

Idek, I added this cause I could. This is not likely at all but will remain on the list of possibilities as long as Overwatch shall live.

Have been shown or spoken of very early on but nothing since

Recently mentioned names but no physical hints of who/what they are

Tying up some long held questions (weak)

Popular demand (weak)

My logic (or lack there of) - I have exactly one tiny speck of logic for this. Mystery characters shown and/or spoken of before the cancellation of the First Strike comic are still occasionally brought up to the OW team. Yet they have conveniently  not retconned them.  Why not say they are no longer a significant part of the story when there has been no updates on them for 2ish years? Maybe they are just keeping the possibility open. Liao and the two from Ana’s origin story are the best (only?) examples:

There is also more recently mentioned characters such as Ray and Fio. Ray was discussed mostly early this year and all we know about them is the following:

We do not know anything else about who or what Ray is. I do not 100% believe Ray is an actual person but you never know. The comment on the beard and his response to has Ray’s combat experience could be some teasing on Michael Chu’s part. To me, Ray is either a person, an omnic, or some sort of computer system used in the Orca.  I should note that another AI other than Athena would seem odd especially with the whole reason OW formed and all.

(Fio I have already discussed but at least we know she’s an actual person, hopefully...OW is weird man)

What do you think of the common theory of Sanjay Korpal being the next hero?

Personally, I think he lacks the look of an OW character. He looks rather plain to me, almost like a background character used to fill up comic space. I do believe his role is going to grow substantially in the lore but as an in game hero? Eh, I don’t know. Another thing I struggle with imagining is him being a tank like a lot of people presume. It would be interesting with what Vishkar can do with hard light technology to have a tank based on that, I will admit. Just don’t see him filling the role of that, he doesn’t strike me as someone who wants to get his hands dirty. I will admit, that this is very strictly my opinion and read of his character and by no means is anything to go off of speculation wise.

 But, if I’m wrong, then next years first cinematic should definitely be a Symmetra/Lucio one and it should definitely have Symmetra kiCKING HIS ASS FOR MANIPUlATING HER foR GOD KNOWs hOW LONG..ahem.

Do you think a comic will be released soon?

They usually put out comics on Wednesdays but they have been odd this year when it comes to them. Idk, if they’ll announce one at Blizzcon. I kinda doubt it. Personally, I’m hoping for a really kick ass Christmas comic since in Reflections it ended with Winston saying he has a good feeling for “next year” (OW’s next year cause timeline) plus last year’s was cute but underwhelming.

I think that’s all I have to ask/discuss for now? I had ideas keep popping up but I kept going back over what I already wrote and my attention span is all or nothing soooo there goes my ideas into the void.

***Random ass question cause you like RDR2. I keep getting a gamestop ad for it and it’s bugging me cause I can’t make out what this guy is saying. It sounds like “I don’t want to kill all you smooth dutch. Just you.” Idk where the exact video is rip, but I feel like I’m really mishearing the guy, lmao.

Non Sequiturs and Stupid Fangirl Squealing

(possibly completely incoherent warning idk how to wenglish when im excited pls ignore mw)

I saw a comic aart thing once and it had young jesse punch Jack in the face and Reyes thought it was the funniest thing and I feel like that’s in character

What if Reyes had a few choices on who to recruit and he was like I want the cowboy chose the instead of the trained older guys. Ana would be like Reyes no and Reyes would be like I want the damn cowboy

I never realised how much I appreciate McCree’s character until the hints of him having a short started popping up. Before I liked him sure, I just never thought too deep into how they could expand on his character. Originally I was just like, “so Reyes picked this kid out of a big ass gang and had him trained among the world’s most renowned soldiers and he still is perfectly content being a cowboy?” Good for you my dudely man, good for you,

wanna see skinny (lean)  young McCree but everyone will want the skin but it wont look the same with his in game model so blegh

I agree with you on how you think reyes recruited him, so many people think he just yeeted jesse at a bunch of angry omnics and was like lol have a cowboy

Imagine McCree being so confused by the weird ass original OW team like y there captain america, my new found father, a dwarf (swede) and an 8 ft german happy meal

He’d be so intimidated by Ana I bench lift Reinhardt for fun Amari being his coach like asdfsdf

But I think with her training it’d be the first real time he let his guard down without him realizing it because he was so in awe of her sniping skills and being able to get taught by her, bonding over shooting people half a continent away yAY

What if we see lil pharah??? I’ll die???

Okay I’ve said this to another  blog but even tho McCree is not my “type” I’m still gonna need to strap my ovaries in place for this short, cause booooooooyyyyyyyyy (I dont even have a type but I guess I mean a lil scruffy?)