#I'm honestly just throwing spaghetti at the wall over here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cowgurrrl · 11 months ago

Text

Sleeping on the Blacktop

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: guys we did it i wrote smut i actually like (ps this was edited but also not reread because I’ve been trying to write it for five hours so if you see any mistakes no you didn’t)

Summary: The Land of No Return [4.7k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MEDIA CONSUMPTION, platonic expressions of love, the mortifying ordeal of being known, sexting, we finally get to know about reader's secret tattoos, smut, Joel the Menace makes his long awaited return with that dirty fucking mouth, mutual masturbation, phone sex (??(sure)), protected sex (no Miller babies for them) p in v stuff, June being indulgent with describing Joel Miller, anxiety, I think that's it??

Music floods the kitchen as you and Andie work on making the best "last supper but with women" possible. The lamps glow orange on the walls and create funny shadows when you dance together, pulling each other in and out to old jazzy tunes. You laugh when she throws a string of spaghetti at your fridge to test if it's ready a little too hard, and it splatters water everywhere. You, honestly, might be a little delirious. You're both in your pajamas, and you've been watching movies all day. You exchange what you remember from New Year's Eve and cringe at what the other fills in. You drink cheap wine from plastic cups and snack on chips as the food cooks.

It feels like high school again, with all the girlish giggling and inside jokes you trade back and forth, except this time, instead of her going back to her house ten minutes up the road, she's going back to her apartment half the world away. No matter how long you get with her, it's never enough. Thousands of miles and different schedules will do that. Keeping long-distance friendships as an adult is just as hard, if not harder, than making new ones.

When dinner is ready, you fix your plates and sit next to each other at your messy dining room table— the IKEA one she helped you build when Henry walked out with the first one— and eat. Paint stains the wood of the table, and half-finished works are scattered around the dining room, but you barely notice them as you talk. She tells you about the things waiting for her in Vienna: work, her cat, Oslo, and piano lessons. You don't have to pretend to be envious because you are. You have to go back to school and the Real World once you drop her off at the airport in the morning. You wish you could go with her.

"Alright, c'mon. Spill it. What's going on with you and Joel?" She asks in between bites of garlic bread. You laugh and shake your head.

"There's nothing to tell."

"Bullshit. Tommy told me he saw you guys."

"Speaking of Tommy," you pivot. "What's going on there? You two seemed pretty chummy." You raise your eyebrows at her, and a big smile takes over her face. She takes another bite of food to buy herself some time, but there's no way you're letting her off the hook, especially after all her teasing about Joel.

"Nothing. We were just… talking." She finally says, and you give her a look.

"Talking?"

"Yes. People talk. You should try it sometime."

"Was it talking like we are now or talking like Joel and I talked?" You hum, and she kicks her feet as she leans forward.

"So you and Joel did talk."

"Well, we probably would've if somebody didn't come barging in."

"Goddammit, I told him to wait," she groans. "Sorry, girl."

"Yeah, me too," you say, and she laughs. You bump her knee and give her a look. "Alright, your turn. What's going on with Tommy?"

"Nothing that could actually turn into anything."

"Aw, c'mon. Don't count yourself out so early."

"It's not counting myself out. It's being realistic. I live in Vienna. He lives here. I'm not ready to come back to the States, and he seems content, so there's nothing that can happen," she shrugs. "It was a fling. A very nice fling, but a fling nevertheless." She seems a little too sad for it to have been just a fling. They exchanged numbers, and you've caught her texting him several times. She said she did kiss him on New Year's Eve (before she threw up), but they didn't go any further besides flirting the next morning. You watched them test each other at breakfast, and he seemed just as interested in her as she was in him. They'd be cute together. She sighs and pushes her pasta around in her bowl like a dejected character from a period piece.

"Tommy is very handsome." You comment, and she grabs your arm, animating all of a sudden.

"Dude, I've been dying to talk about it. What the fuck are they putting in the water here? It's insane."

"It's annoying, right?"

"So annoying." She agrees. You laugh about it together and, finally, give her the details she's been waiting so patiently for. When you finish your story, her hands are over her mouth, and her eyes are wide. "Oh, my God. You have to get him back."

"I know, I know! He's driving me up a fucking wall." You say, taking a bite of food. It will get cold if you don't stop talking, but you also don't care.

"You could surprise him with some lingerie or something." She suggests, and you groan.

"God, I don't even remember the last time I bought lingerie."

"All the more reason to buy some."

"I don't know. I feel like I could just show up naked, and he'd be happy with that."

"He sounds like a keeper then."

"Yeah, I don't know," you shrug. "I like him a lot. I just… don't know if it's sustainable."

"Why?" She asks. You almost want to gesture around your messy apartment and half-put together life as if it will answer her question.

"I mean, he's a good guy, and we're having fun, but for how long? His kid's gonna be in at least one of my classes until she graduates. Not to mention, he has another daughter who is in medical school. We both work full-time. And then there's the whole having to keep it a secret thing. It could get really old really fast." You sigh.

"What if it doesn't?"

"What?"

"What if it doesn't get old? What if it ends up working out?" She asks. You take a deep breath. "You didn't even think about that possibility. Did you?"

"I just don't wanna get hurt."

"That's a very real possibility. Things could go wrong. He could break your heart. You could lose your job. Society as we know it could come crashing down, and you know what? The sun's still gonna come up the next day. The birds will still sing, and I will still be here," she says, putting her hand over yours. You purse your lips as you process her words. "You deserve nice things, kid. Don't count yourself out so early." She echoes your earlier sentiment, and you smile.

She's right. Of course, she's right. You don't let yourself think good things could happen because you're so focused on all the bad. She's known you for so long she can read your thoughts and know your habits before you can. What a horrifying and beautiful thing it is to be known inside and out like that.

"Maybe you should've been a writer instead of a musician," you say, and she laughs. You squeeze her hand and sigh as you look at her. "I'm really gonna miss you."

"I'm really gonna miss you, too."

"I wish you could stay."

"I know," she says. "But you need an excuse to come to Vienna, and I need an excuse to come to Austin, and if I stay, we lose that."

"I guess that's true."

"Besides, if I stop making trans-Atlantic calls, I think my phone company would be concerned." She points out, making you laugh. You know she's telling you what she's told herself this whole time. She loves Vienna, but you know she gets homesick. You know she's trying really hard to convince herself to get back on that plane. You don't push her about staying again. You just indulge in her presence.

"I love you." You say softly, and she smiles.

"I love you, too." She says.

It means so much more than just "I love you." It means, "I love you, and I want us both to eat well." It means, "I love you, and I can't imagine doing this life without you." It means, "I love you, and I know you have to go." Never any buts. Always ands, because love like this knows no bounds. Not borders, not time zones, not lifestyles.

You finish the dinner you made and clean the kitchen side by side before climbing into bed and staying up as late as possible to try and get Andie back on Vienna time. In the morning, you drag yourselves out of bed and sing in the car on the way to get coffee, and when the time comes for you to get her suitcase out of your backseat and watch her disappear behind glass doors, you hug her tight and tell her you love her again. She repeats the sentiment with another squeeze and deep breath that tells you how close to tears she is. Then, she turns around and doesn't look back to prove she's strong enough to leave. She doesn't need to prove anything to you. You always knew she was strong enough to do this.

The car ride back is emotional and lonely and tinged with the bass line of Ribs by Lorde, but your phone buzzes as you pull back into your apartment complex with tears staining your cheeks.

Thanks for letting us meet Andie. She's a really sweet person. I'm sorry she has to leave today.

You don't remember telling him what day she was leaving, but she might've told Tommy, and Tommy told Joel. You smile and text him back.

Thanks for taking care of us. She only had good things to say about you and Tommy. We'll have to all hang out again the next time she's home.

And then.

Thanks for checking on me. I really appreciate it.

Of course. I'm always a wreck when I have to drop Sarah off at the airport. I'm around if you wanna talk. Ellie's hanging out with some friends, and Tommy's on-site today.

You stare at the messages and debate your options. He basically just told you he's home alone and has nothing to do for the rest of the day. And yes, he is probably being sweet and really offering to talk if you're feeling lonely, but you also know how talking usually goes for you two. You smirk as you type out a message.

Just talk?

It seems like he can't type fast enough.

What else would you wanna do?

I think you made some promises you need to follow through on, Miller.

I guess I did.

Come over and I can do just that.

Actually, I have some work to get done :( maybe next time?

You lock your phone and bound up to your apartment, conscious of the sudden lengthening of time between messages. It's fun to imagine him trying to come up with a response that respects your boundaries but also lets you know how needy he is. He may have started this little game, but you're gonna be the one to perfect it. Thus begins the days upon days of not sexting, but not not sexting.

At first, it's just messages about how you miss him and wish he was around. He tries to find an excuse to come over, but you effectively cockblock him at every turn. Your response times get a little slower the more worked up he gets, so he has to figure it out on his own. You never would've thought Joel Miller, a man with gray in his beard and wrinkles lining his face, could be such a fast texter, but you figure there's nothing more desperate than a horny man.

Messages quickly escalate to pictures. They start off innocent enough: a picture of the painting you're working on, but your bare legs give away the fact that you're not wearing pants, a picture of him stepping out of a hot shower, his bare chest slightly red and glistening from the water, a picture of you wearing the burnt orange shirt he sent you home in New Year's Day with no bra on underneath. Then, you get a little bolder. After a quick trip to the mall, you pose in front of the mirror in a short delicate white night down with pretty lace details on the top, the hem barely hitting the tops of your thighs and showing off the large tattoos hiding there. You look hot, and imagining Joel's reaction to you makes you flush and rub your thighs together to get some relief.

It's true that Joel would've been happy if you showed up to his house wearing (or not wearing) anything, but when the photo pings to his phone, he's never been more grateful for Victoria's Secret in his life. His breath hitches in his throat, and he quickly tucks his phone into his chest like someone is gonna come up behind him and see what he's looking at. He's barely glanced at the photo and he's already straining in his jeans.

Goddamn, he texts back. You're so fucking pretty, baby.

You like it?

It's a dumb question, but you really don't care.

It's perfect.

What do you like about it?

Besides the fact that you're the one wearing it? I like that it makes you look like more of an angel than you already are, and I like that I can finally see those tattoos you've been hiding from me.

Bingo, you think to yourself. He was able to catch glimpses of the large pieces hiding on your back and shoulders at the art gallery, and when he picked up on New Year's Eve, you caught him staring at them each time. You thought he was following the inky lines up your body, but you couldn't be sure. Now, he's giving himself away, and you're practically buzzing with excitement.

You turn around in the mirror and arch your back, perfectly showing off your ass and the intricate tattoo lining your spine, and snap a picture. It's one of the largest ones you have, and it's also the easiest to hide. Besides, you definitely didn't get it for your own enjoyment. You live for moments like this. You send him the picture and smile as you type.

Like this one?

Your phone rings not even two minutes after he reads the message. You giggle when he groans into the receiver instead of greeting you.

"You're gonna fuckin' kill me, baby." He says, his voice so deep you can practically feel it rumble against your ear.

"I told you I'd get you back." You say it like it's obvious, but he just hums. There's shuffling on his end, and all you can do is wait for him to say something else.

"What else have you been hidin' underneath all those little dresses, hm?" He asks. "Tattoos. The most fuckin' perfect tits I've ever seen. Anythin' else I should know bout? 'S your pussy as pretty as the rest of ya?" You didn't mean for him to hear you gasp, but he seemed pleased that he could pull such a sound from you without even being in the same room. Just like that, any doubt or reservation you had left flies out the window. You finally cave and slip your hand down your panties to glide your fingers through your folds. "Am I makin' you wet, sweetheart?"

"Fuck," you mumble. It's absurd how turned on you are by this whole thing. Your fingers slowly circle your clit, and your head gets so fuzzy you almost forget to respond to him. "Yes, Joel."

"Are you playin' with yourself?" He asks, and you nod even though he can't see you. "Poor thing. I wish I could be there to help ya. I'd have you spread open for me so I can touch you however I want. Figure out what you like and what makes you cry for me." You put him on speaker and throw your phone down so you can focus on gliding through your wetness, your middle finger pushing into you slowly.

"What... what would you do?" You ask, breathless.

"I'd start by usin' my fingers just to feel you out, and I bet you'd feel so fuckin' good. I'd play with your clit until you're beggin' me to put a finger inside you, and I'd slip two in slowly while kissin' your inner thighs and watchin' you squeeze my fingers," you moan as you listen to his raspy voice and fuck yourself to his words. You try to imagine what his fingers would feel like inside of you. How different compared to yours, how much better they'd feel. Goddammit. "Then, I'd use my mouth on you while my fingers move in and out. I'd lick you all over and feel you soakin' me when I suck on your clit." He says, and you return to rubbing said bundle of nerves, faster this time, as you become acutely aware of his labored breathing over the phone.

Is he touching himself? The idea of him holding the phone with one hand and fisting his cock with the other sends a wave of heat down your spine, and you keen into your own hand. A shaky breath and muttered curse leave his lips, and then you know for sure what he's doing. Your head spins, and you'd be embarrassed by how close you are just from his voice if you weren't entirely focused on the pleasure clouding your brain.

"Fuck, Joel-"

"I know, baby, I know," he coos sympathetically. Another lewd moan leaves you as you get closer and closer to the edge, stars threatening the corners of your vision. "Are you gonna come for me like this?" He asks, and you hum in the affirmative, not trusting yourself to form words. "Come on. Let me hear you. I wanna hear what you sound like when you fall apart." His voice is coming faster and breathier, a light growl at the end of his words. How are you to deny him that?

The speed of your fingers on your clit increases, but it's his own broken whimpers that finally do it. Your back arches as the waves wash over you, and noises you didn't even know you could make escape your lips. You can vaguely hear a broken sigh accentuated by a particularly hot whine from Joel's end. Henry was never as vocal or talkative as Joel is. None of your past partners have been. In the aftershocks of your orgasm, you have a quick passing thought that he might ruin dating for you. You might never want to see anyone else who doesn't treat you like this. You might be fucked.

"Joel," you say when you have control over your thoughts again. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat.

"Yeah?"

"Get the fuck over here now."

Joel's house is on the other side of Austin. With traffic, getting to your apartment can take anywhere from twenty to forty-five minutes, depending on how fast you're willing to go and how many red lights you can pass under. Joel gets there in fifteen. You're still in the flouncy dress you bought specifically to torture him, but by the time you open the door for him, you're much less interested in making his life any more miserable than you already have over the past week.

He doesn't hesitate to charge into your apartment, grab your face, and kiss you like his life depends on it. His tongue sweeps over your bottom lip, and you open to him, clinging to him as his hands move from your face to the backs of your thighs to pick you up. You squeal in surprise and lock your legs around his waist to bring him closer and keep yourself from falling. Even though he obviously came over the phone at the same time you did, he's hard again and pressing against your bare pussy. He hisses when you grind against him, and his jaw clenches as he pulls away like he's in pain.

"Where's your bedroom?" He asks, wide eyes searching the hallway behind you.

"First door on the left." You say as you duck your head to kiss his neck. He sighs and indulges in the feeling of your tongue against his skin before he finally finds his feet and stumbles into your bedroom. You're halfway through marking him before he lays you down and immediately rucks his hands up your thighs, spreading them apart and making you whine.

"You okay?" He asks, stopping all movement to scan over your face for any signs of discomfort. You nod and reach for the buttons of his jeans.

"Yes. Just need you." You say.

"Are you sure?"

"Joel, I just came from the sound of your voice. Yes, I'm fucking sure." You say, a little frenzied as you pull at the hem of his shirt. He laughs as he pulls it over his head and quickly unzips his jeans.

"Feisty."

"Can you blame me?" You ask, and he shakes his head. He tugs his jeans and his briefs down at the same time and unveils all of him to you in one go. He's beautiful. You knew he would be, but seeing the graying chest hairs and the pretty happy trail leading down to his hard cock in between his strong, tan thighs is an entirely different thing. You reach for him, desperate to feel the weight of him in your hands, but he stops you by slipping the tiny straps of your night gown down your arms.

He carefully pulls the fabric down your body until it's pooled next to his clothes on the floor. His eyes fall to the black lines wrapping around your shoulders, and he draws his eyes to your collarbones and sternum, his breathing stuttering at the sight of you laid out under him.

"So much prettier than I imagined." He murmurs as he ducks his head to kiss the valley between your breasts. You smile and run your hands through his curls as he mouths at your chest, leaving red marks in his wake and making you press him closer.

"How many times have you thought about this?" You ask. Has he always wanted you in the way you've wanted him? You're almost positive he has. There's no other way to explain the reverence with which he's looking at you. He's so wrapped up in you it's almost suffocating. Every time you glance at his face, he's staring at you with soft eyes and blown pupils.

"Lost count." There it is. The confirmation. You grab at his ribs to bring him closer, pulling him over you to kiss him slow and deep. Despite the heat of him against you and the ache between your thighs, you both take the time to savor it. That is until his overthinking takes over. "I didn't bring a condom. Fuck, I was in a rush. I didn't think." He says quickly, like he's waiting for you to back out or push him away. You bring your thumb up to the worried wrinkle between his eyebrows and smooth it away, kissing his jaw.

"You think I would get you all worked up to not be prepared? C'mon, baby," you turn the nickname around on him, and he leans into your hand like a cat. "Top drawer." You say. He scrambles to your bedside table and grabs the first one he can find as you move onto all fours while he's distracted. You listen for the foil ripping and the subtle sound of the latex fitting over him. You can't stop the smirk from forming when he looks up and sees the sight in front of him.

"Fuckin' Hell," he mutters. Your back is arched perfectly, your hair gathered over your shoulder, and the tattoo you got done so many years ago is on display for him. "You are so goddamn perfect." He says as he presses his chest into your back and kisses your shoulder. He plants a few more kisses across your neck and back, making you wait longer than you already have, and just when you think you're going crazy, he slowly pushes into you and punches all the air from your lungs.

He's big. Bigger than anyone you've been with before, and he seems to know that. He rolls his hips, and you moan, gripping at the sheets under you for stability as you adjust. His breathing is ragged behind you, and he groans when you involuntarily clench around him. "You okay?" He asks, his voice straining. His patience and self-control should be fucking studied.

"Yeah, I'm okay." You assure him, and he nods. He starts to move slowly at first, but when you start whining and shaking under him, he snaps. You're both impatient. Months of following the rules and caring about what other people could think or say tumble out of your heads as he sets a rough pace. You've been dreaming about this and pushing it away since he walked into your classroom that day, and now that it's happening, you can't hide how desperate you are for him. You cry his name as he fucks into you deeply, no part of your bodies not touching, but it's still not close enough.

"You're so fuckin' good for me, baby. Jesus fuck," he moans into your ear, his uneven breaths echoing into your skull. "You feel so good."

He sits back and brings you with him, changing the angle and forcing him deeper inside of you as his hand snakes around your waist and dips to play with your clit. You curse loudly and dig your nails into his forearm as bright pleasure courses through your veins. "'M gonna come if you keep doing that," you warn, your voice high and strained as he adds a little more pressure.

"C'mon, honey, come on my cock for me. Please, I want it." It could be the slight whine in his voice or the fact that he's begging you for it, or the fact that the tight circles he's rubbing into your clit are making you see stars, but you come hard. You rely on him to hold you upright as he fucks you through your high, the slick between your thighs growing as his own orgasm washes over him, and he moans directly in your ear, an unexpected but not unpleasant gift. You think you could get off again just to the sounds he makes when he's coming.

You stay like that for a second, wrapped up in each other and breathing hard with him still inside you, before he finally finds the courage to slip out of you with only a tiny pained moan. He carefully guides you onto your back, your bones jelly, and kisses your cheek before he pads off to the bathroom to throw away the used condom.

It's quiet again in the apartment, but it's not lonely anymore. He makes himself at home in your space, asking if he can get water and snacks from your kitchen and walking around naked as the day he was born. "I wanna make sure you've got enough energy for round two." He says, making you laugh.

"Are you finally gonna make good on your promise to take your time with me?"

"Fuck yeah." He says, coming back to kiss your lips one more time before walking to the kitchen. It's like if he goes a few minutes without tasting you, he can't function, or at least, that's what he makes it seem like. You're more than receptive to the attention and can only watch as he walks around. Your trust in your legs is not strong enough to get up just yet.

In the domestic silence, it would be easy for your mind to run rampant with rogue thoughts and anxieties, but when Joel returns to the bedroom with snacks, bottles of water, and those stupidly sweet eyes, they get pushed to the back burner. He gets under the covers and pulls you into him, his warm body grounding you to this moment and not letting your thoughts stray. He presses kisses to your hair and your face every so often as you talk about everything and nothing.

Somehow, it feels natural, like you've been doing this the whole time or like everything was leading up to this. Maybe it was. Still, you'll need to talk about this. You know you will.

Just... not yet.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk @d1lf-loverrr @vee-bees-blog @moel-jiller @anoverwhelmingdin @casssiopeia @maried01

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bonnymori · 2 years ago

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(1/2) From pasta guy, to boyfriend

A/N: i'm almost at episode 1030, finally the others are showing up more like Kid, Killer and Law; can't find any new Killer fics so decided my next work should be one

WC: 2,3k

Contents/Warnings: n/a, very light fic, modern!au ig, fluff, slice of life, gn!reader, trying out new format

Synopsis: Your cravings have led you to a small local restaurant, and surprisingly, bring you to a new romantic interest.

Noodles, spaghetti, pasta.

Sometimes they are all over your tiktok's for you page, or your youtube's feed shorts. That's how you end up awake at noon, looking closely at your phone as someone makes pasta from scratch in video. One can't help it, the process is so interesting although you've watched the same thing countless times: throw in a few eggs, flour, milk and salt in a bowl, mixing that soon gives you a puffy dough, from there the process gets overcomplicated– you just know the ingredients are the same every time.

You blame them for making you so hungry, and robbing you of your sleep.

That's also how you end up in front of a small luncherie, after spending too much time craving those delicious dishes, that you actually gave in and decided to go for it.

The front of the building looks so welcoming, a mix of pastel green and beige makes for a nice touch of painting, accompanied by the large window panes that give a view of the inside. Under your feet at the entrance is a doormat that says "benvenuto!" and upon your head, at the front of the shop is written "àite milis" as in the name of the place. Honestly you have no idea of both of their meanings, but you keep the words to yourself to translate them later.

Your entry isn't as peaceful as when you arrived, though, when the door is pushed outwards in the same time as you try to push it in to enter- whoever is inside was stronger, though, as you barely dodge it when it comes swinging your way with force, as if you hadn't even tried to push it.

"Agh!" You can't help but quip as you step back, avoiding being squashed between the door and the wall.

A surprised grunt comes from the doorframe, where a tall guy with a mask stands frozen, probably shocked with what just almost happened. You can't quite see his eyes from under those blond bangs, but he is surely looking at you wide eyed from the rise of his shoulders.

"Oh my, I'm very very sorry, I didn't see you behind the door."

The guy approaches, inspecting your face for any bruises – mainly because you are still spooked and planted to your feet. His warm hand lands on your shoulder, and you can't help but notice his whole arm looks crazy toned, and your face is lined perfectly with his chest since he's crazy tall too.

You don't let those thoughts cloud for long, taking a step back to look at him properly. "Sorry! Didn't see you coming out too, I got distracted by the place, haha."

"I- …" His head tilts slightly at your saying, and you notice how long his blond hair really is, as it weaves behind him when he turns, a few strands falling upon his shoulders by the movement. "Is that so? Why do you say that?"

"Well the colors are nice! What can I say, it's my first time here." You keep yourself from explaining your reasons during every exchange between strangers, but that only gives him more fuel to continue talking.

He nods, something in his posture changes from lax to a more attentive way– actually, he sorta looks… joyful. "I see, come inside then." His hand leaves your shoulder and waves you in, walking back inside with a skip on his step, so he is happy, why?

"It looks even better on the inside."

You can hear him call as you enter behind him, truthfully, you agree. The floor is boarded (but painted white) and the tables are also made with wood material, the brown matches well with the colors on the wall, white and blue that comes in stripes. The counter is the same color as the tables, it counts with a few comfortable looking stools. How cute, the tablecloths are black with white polka dots! Everything looks delicate and under measure, you can tell the owner has put his passion on every detail.

"So, liked it?"

The silence is broken by the mysterious blonde, you maintain a normal face but inside it gave you a big sudden scare.

"Yes! I think the place looks very delicate." You say what you really thought, to you it would be the best way of describing.

He nods more than once and rubs his hands together like a fly, it's hard to guess but from the movement under his mask, he might have smiled at your compliment, who can guess it.

Why are we talking about this anyway?

"Well…" he starts, as if able to listen to your thoughts, turning his body entirely in your direction and gathering himself in a very professional stance, "You are actually my first customer, so I'd like to accompany the experience with you, if you'd let me."

First customer.

"You're the boss!?" Your jaw drops, only slightly so as to not make yourself a complete fool in front of this handsome guy.

He nods, "It's been two days since I first opened the shop, without getting any new people in, so I'm extremely glad you have chosen this establishment. I'm sorry for the, cough, harsh welcoming." His body does all the talking as he speaks, making gestures and looking at the door, apologizing for the scare. He expresses himself very well for someone who's got almost his whole face covered.

…You can't help but giggle at his big introduction, although serious, he's just a silly guy.

"It's alright, can I get your name since you want to accompany me?" You said, following by the introduction of your name to him.

The man nods. "You can call me Killer."

Killer, huh, what?

You nod, not discarding the chance that it might be just his nickname, and make your way to a table near the window. You don't miss how Killer himself hands you the menu – at your curious stare, he answers that he doesn't have staff yet, it's him and him only, for now.

The menu… is a total road map. There's at least ten different types of noodles including lasagna pasta, each has different kinds of prepping and sauces to include. It's like ordering pizza but in italian… wait, pizza is also italian, right? Historically, nobody knows for certain, but… Anyway, you ultimately decide to order a plate from the popular section – not that the other options aren't good! But for today, keep it simple – that are basically those viral dishes that everybody knows from social media, as in a part of the menu that offers simpler options to choose from.

Today's dish will be… fettuccine alfredo! It should be good for starters.

Killer seems to jolt when you finally look his way again, like he wasn't staring at you all along. "I take you have decided what you are having?"

"Yes! Can I have a fettuccine alfredo, please?" You smile at him, such a polite guy.

He nods at the request, doing a small shoulder gesture you've seen him do before, signaling he's 'happy and ready'. Killer leaves to the back, soon you can hear the sounds of pans and pots being retrieved, as well as the smell of mouth watering food begins to waft through the place.

It's so good to smell, and not just watch it through a screen! You think to yourself, looking around and noting the small details all over his luncherie, finding especially interesting the small metal trinket on the counter, is it handmade?

Time goes like seconds, it's actually a really small pause before Killer comes out of the kitchen with a blue plate in hands, his long legs moving swiftly until he's beside your table and placing the dish in front of you. He lingers a little about even after delivering the order, fixing the folds on the tablecloth and thanking you again for coming to his restaurant.

He's really cute, you think, watching him head back to the counter, the way Killer fiddles about with his hands shows that he's maybe a little anxious, I would be nervous too with my first client.

You look down and damn, the dish looks amazing. The fettuccine normally has a whiter aspect thanks to the sauce, that becomes even more vibrant and appetizing in contrast to the blue colored plate. I hope I don't sound like a food critic, you think to yourself while swirling the first string of thick pasta on your fork, watching as it swirls smoothly with help of the white creamy sauce, it's making your mouth water.

Without thinking, you stuffed it in your mouth with no regrets, immediately melting at the way it explodes in your mouth. Yumm… I will definitely bring leftovers home.

It looks like I won't get any new customers besides Y/N, Killer muses to himself as he leans on the window. Sigh, he's a bit disappointed, but it's the reality of many newly established businesses. It doesn't stop the deep bubbling feeling that comes from his chest, knowing he should be starting on the dishes if he wants to close as soon as possible, since his mood has dampened again.

Right, I can't yet, I have someone over today, as if in cue with his thoughts, his head turns from the window to the person in the middle of his shop, who is humming delightfully as they eat the portion of fettuccine.

It puts him in sort of a daze, his cheeks spotting the faintest of blush, the sight of someone feeling so content while eating the result of his studies and hardwork, that's all I wanted. Killer is glad for his blonde bangs that hide the fact he can't bring himself to divert his eyes away, so touched by his work being appreciated. If the guys saw me acting this way, I wouldn't hear the end of it. After what seems ages, he shakes his head at the thought, slumping even more against the wall as all the exhaustion of setting up a business settles down on his shoulders.

Letting his eyes astray to that one table yet again, he can't help but think they're cute, his hard shell has lessened thanks to the excitement of receiving the first person to give a chance to his work, sure, but Killer can't help but watch them in a different glow from the way he would see other people.

And they like my food, that's a good sign- oh, they're looking at me, he jolts when he's suddenly caught staring, his hands twitching by the sudden spook– and now, they're… beckoning me closer?

Killer can't help but straighten up, fixing himself before strolling with newfound confidence to their table and sitting down across from them.

"It was delicious!" You told him with a big smile, patting the pudge on your stomach formed by his delicious, warming meal. "A pretty big portion too, are you sure the price is up to it?"

"Yes." His deep baritone almost filled the room, almost sending a shudder down your back. "It shouldn't be any higher, that would just scare off more people that it has."

He wasn't negative about it, just realistic. And also a tad nervous, not wanting to say anything awkward.

"I think it was great, actually, I promised- like- to bring leftovers for dinner to my family, do you make meals for takeout?"

Killer is at service, sure, but you still felt a little bad for asking this late, since it's probably rounding closing hours.

"Of course, I'd be delighted to." He responded quicker than you thought, more than happy to attend more work, it really shows he loves cooking, "So, how many portions would you want for takeout?"

"Three! I was thinking of bringing different dishes, you know? Another fettuccine so they can try it too, but I wanted to bring this one too, and…!"

Unnoticed by the both of you, soon, a discussion of what would be the best to bring back to your family started with the chef man, he knew how to add in his view on the subject but without suggesting in a way he wanted you to buy more, but like hey that's really good, it could go even better with this topping. Or I like that one, I think it's a really good choice. Killer was glad the conversation flowed so easily, himself also not noticing the fact a whole hour passed and they hadn't stopped talking, he felt like he wanted to get to know you better more and more through each minute, finding himself in a daze again, his brain filled by the thoughts of you entirely.

What brought him back to reality, though, was glancing down from your eyes – it was really hard – only to see the empty plate and silverware still on the table.

"Oh damn, I didn't see the time fly." A quick glance at the clock on the wall told him it was very late. He sat up, exasperatedly.

Still enough to make your family dinner, with how determined he looked.

Killer didn't even protest when you followed him inside the kitchen, the conversation flowing once again casually, he smiled at the way you found another of Kidd's trinkets, like the one – he persisted to gift Killer as decoration – at the counter.

He'd be sure to make them extra good just for you.

"Thank you so much for everything, Killer." You felt bad for keeping him so long, watching as the key chime when locking the door, disappearing along with his big hand inside his pants pocket.

"No such, I am, in fact, delighted for you."

For a moment, his sapphire blue irises stared into yours, drowning in the pools of color- both of you.

His hand on your shoulder was warm.

Fuschia lipstick marked your hand when his lips parted from your skin, smiling at you.

"I'd like to see you again."

At the end of the night, Killer's frustration had vanished - now that he's got your number.

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #one piece writing #killer one piece x reader #killer one piece x reader fluff #killer one piece #kid pirates #one piece kid pirates #op killer x reader #massacre soldier killer #one piece killer #one piece imagine #one piece x you #one piece x reader #one piece scenario

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ashleywool · 11 months ago

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Hello! Saw the show on Sunday and loved every second! I'm also a non-union performer who is neurodivergent (ADHD with anxiety comorbidity though I suspect it could be something more) and I've lately been struggling with navigating the audition process and its characteristics (loud waiting rooms, disruption of routine, long travel days, over stimulation of NYC itself) with my how my brain works.

I also live a bit far from the city so I usually need to weigh pros and cons when deciding what to go out for. And I find I'm constantly weighing the effects on my mental state against the opportunities it could give me. Are their things you or your cast mates do to help accommodate during situations like that? Do you think their are accommodations that the theatre community could put in place in audition spaces to better include neurodiverse talent?

To be clear, the actual audition part of it never bothers me it's always the easiest part. I just find I feel completely fried by the time I get in the room because of what it took mentally to get myself there.

Either way How to Dance in Ohio is such a breath of fresh air and I hope it manages to find life after Broadway either on tour or in schools or maybe a spot off-broadway. It has so much more good to give.

Ooooof. I feel this. All of it. I'm originally from northern Westchester and I spent many exhausting commutes doing exactly this.

I would honestly say the best thing you can do for yourself is to join Equity if you are eligible. It's a better audition experience all around, you can sign up for appointments in advance on the member portal and view projects that accept self-tapes, AND it will get you in the room for better jobs.

If you aren't eligible yet or just don't feel ready to compete on that level yet, I'd recommend focusing more on local projects over the big NYC cattle calls. I don't know exactly where you live or what your regional/community theatre scene is like, but I do know that those theaters are the ones that are struggling the most right now and could use people who are passionate and want to build their resumes. It's a lot easier to get seen and get cast, you'll be able to keep your day job and not tunnel-vision your life around waiting on line for crappy nonunion tours that charge Broadway prices but pay minimum wage, AND you will likely meet a lot of people who will get to know you much better and more personally than a casting director ever could in a 2-minute window.

Keep in mind, also, that when you walk into a professional audition and a casting director looks at your resume, they don't care how much you were paid for a job or what kind of contract you were on. And they don't care how you got your Equity card. The only people who care about that stuff are bitter judgmental actors who need the gatekeeping to feel better about themselves (and no matter what your answer is, they won't like you anyway). The people who actually matter only care that you're on time, prepared, friendly, open to direction, and right for the role they need.

As for actually doing the professional NYC audition grind, here are some pro-tips:

-Opt for appointments and self-tapes over "open calls" whenever possible.

-CONTINUE being selective about the projects you go out for. Trust me, I did many years of the "throw all the spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks" method, and it doesn't work, and it will only burn you out more.

-Don't overthink your audition material. You don't need exact 16-bar cuts of ten different in your book for every style of musical theatre. You can do the "overdone" songs and monologues if they fit who you are and the roles you can conceivably play. It's New York. Everything is overdone. YOU are not overdone.

-Dress comfortably. Sounds obvious, but it took me way too long to realize that no, really, I do not have to wear heels to an audition. Be strategic with layers.

-Get a rolling suitcase over a backpack. Way less strain.

-Noise. Cancelling. Headphones. Also, make playlists of your "comfort" songs and your "motivation" songs and your "wind-down" songs and your "zone-out" songs so you have predictable, appropriate background noise to whatever you're doing--commuting, waiting in the holding room, eating lunch, etc. Preferably songs that are not from musicals and have nothing to do with whatever shows you're auditioning for. Auditioning is a job and you need a work-life balance there too.

-Do something else in the city unrelated to auditioning or performing. Go to a museum or a park or just a cute coffee shop where you can just EXIST and not perform.

I hope these help <3

#broadway #how to dance in ohio #musical theatre #theatre #auditioning #auditions

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essayofthoughts · 2 years ago

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Do you have the episode numbers and/or timestamps for the references you made in your last post about Percy?

For context, in case anyone didn’t see the previous ask - and yes, I can get episode numbers, timestamps and even transcripts! The Kryogenix searchable transcript is a blessing and I always watch with closed captions because I remember the written word better - end result is I can memorise key phrases which makes it very easy to then go back and search up references when I need to.

I’m also gonna provide a chunk of the conversation around these just for context and also because some of them are very funny.

The syphilis/limited experience quote is as follows:

#LAURA I walk up and I kiss him on the cheek. and I say: Don't you worry, we've got you.

#TALIESIN Especially with the cough, thank you.

#LAURA I don't believe you're really sick, darling.

#SAM Vex, I've heard a cough like that, and it's probably syphilis.

#LAURA Lovely. Thank you, Scanlan.

#TALIESIN I barely sl-- I don't, I--

#SAM Personal experience, that's all I'm saying.

C1E30 - Stoke The Flames | Kryogenix Transcript | Timestamp

Note that there's more in the video than is actually transcribed because they did talk over each other a little here. As Sam-as-Scanlan’s saying “Personal experience” Taliesin-as-Percy says “One time, one time”.

“Quite gentle about the whole process” is when Percy’s talking to Tary:

#SAM Taryon Darrington in a house of flesh?

#TRAVIS Yeah, you go in, throw some spaghetti on the wall, see what sticks, and have a great time.

#TALIESIN There's not actual spaghetti.

#TRAVIS There might be. (laughter) What do you think?

#LIAM Mayonnaise, at the very least. (groaning, laughter)

#TALIESIN Oh, that's funny twice, too. (laughter)

#LAURA, ASHLEY Yay.

#TRAVIS What do you think, huh? I know if we had said, "you're going to fight a dragon and a kraken," you'd be like, "no, not me!" But this is a chance for you to go to the big time.

#TALIESIN Maybe take some pressure off and practice talking normally to people who are going to be very gentle with you about the whole process.

#SAM Talking?

#ASHLEY You don't even have to do anything. You can just have an hour of their time.

#SAM Pike, are you encouraging me to go to a brothel right now?

#ASHLEY Listen, I do think that going to, as you put it, a house of flesh, is a part of being an adventurer. It's a rite of passage.

#LAURA Do you go to brothels, Pike?

#ASHLEY Well, where do you think I go when you guys leave all the time? (laughter)

C1E94 - Jugs and Rods | Kryogenix Transcript | Timestamp

It’s such a good Pike moment and honestly this whole episode is a favourite of mine alongside Elephant In The Room.

And then, lastly, “if you want to know what women like ask women” was slightly misquoted by me, mostly because the gents of CR rarely call the women girls. It’s from the same episode and goes as follows:

#MARISHA Tary, Grog is teaching you the opposite of what to do.

#SAM What do you mean? Girls don't like the bad boy?

#TALIESIN If you want to discover what girls actually like, ask girls.

#LAURA Maybe talk to them.

#TALIESIN We've got three--

#LAURA Don't talk at them. Talk to them.

#MARISHA Maybe individually.

#TALIESIN Wells of knowledge.

#SAM Keyleth.

#MARISHA Oh no. Yeah?

#SAM Your hair is like angels coming down from the sky--

#TALIESIN Nope, already lost it. Nope.

#LAURA Don't talk at them.

#TALIESIN Don't talk to the hair.

#MARISHA Why don't you, for starters, ask them a question about themselves?

#SAM All right.

#MARISHA Instead of talking about yourself.

#LIAM You don't necessarily want to tell them things. You want to talk to them and learn about them.

#SAM How much money do you have?

#ASHLEY Oops.

#LAURA (laughs) No, that's a question for me, darling.

#MARISHA Maybe less a monetary stat question. Maybe find a question about her personality or about her past or something that interests her.

C1E94 - Jugs and Rods | Kryogenix Transcript | Timestamp

#percy de rolo #vox machina #critical role #anonymous #ask

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nellie-elizabeth · 3 years ago

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Grey's Anatomy: No Time To Die (18x09)

Wow oh my god I'm so annoyed.

Cons:

The thing is, I'm just so not here for most of the romances we've got going for us. The biggest No for me is Link and Jo. I want them to be our Alex and Meredith, have a strong male/female friendship without an attraction or romance there. Honestly cannot stand the sight of the two of them kissing, and they got a whole drawn out love scene with the dramatic music over the top. Gag me. Ugh. It's just narratively unsatisfying to me, and it this point it really feels like throwing spaghetti at the wall, seeing what romances stick.

I also could not care less about Meredith's beau. At this point I'm stubbornly refusing to learn his name. It's a clever protest against the existence of a character so bland that my eyes slide off his face whenever he starts to talk. See, the thing is, I want Meredith to have a stable, nice relationship with a good man, and that is technically what we're seeing here. You know who else is stable and nice and a good man? Cormac Hayes. Instead of seeing that relationship develop, we get to hear how it was a nonstarter in between seasons, and now Hayes is leaving? One of the last good men this show has to offer? I'm very annoyed.

Also Owen... I feel like the drug theft and mercy killing drama is somewhat manufactured. Washington State has a death with dignity act, so Owen didn't have to break the rules to actually help out the guy he gave the drugs to. He could have gone through the process, and then stolen drugs for the other men who didn't qualify, I guess. Instead it's like he committed an extra crime for no good goddamn reason, just to cause angst for everyone involved. Owen is an angst producing machine and not in a way that I enjoy watching. I will also lodge my familiar complaint that Owen and Teddy are both insufferable characters so I want to be with them on this journey where Teddy is so scared for Owen and they have their lovely little reunion but I'm just... meh about the whole thing.

Pros:

Honestly, the whole Webber Method plot thread this season has been the one that's the most interesting to me. I love that we're seeing the absolutely horrific crash and burn for Schmitt after a whole season where he was on top of the world. It's the good kind of angst, and a story I'm excited to explore. I want Levi to be okay. I want to go on this journey with him while he heals. I like that Jo and Helm and Nico all helped him out during his crash and burn, but it wasn't a situation where anyone was able to just say the right thing and bring him out of it. The image of him scrubbing his hands raw and bleeding is a haunting one, and exactly the kind of overwrought metaphor that only a show like Grey's could pull off well. That final image of Levi sitting by himself on the curb outside, and Nico dropping to the ground next to him, tells me that we're at the start of a long journey for him until he's better. Levi tried to be there for Nico when he went through something similar and killed someone on the table, but that nearly broke them. Now we'll have to see if Nico is able to be there for Levi!

And then you've got Webber, furious and heartbroken about Levi specifically and the whole Webber Method in general. He talks to Meredith about it, and she says she would have done the same thing, gone ahead without attending support, if this was the way surgeries were taught back when she first started. It's a fair point, and one that Richard really doesn't want to hear right now. Bailey suspends the Webber Method immediately and indefinitely, and I can't blame her for that either. It's a good juicy drama with just the right about of stakes to it, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

So, to talk about Owen again, as I said, I don't care about him. Honestly I think the show would be better if he were gone, and we could keep Hayes instead. But he is one of the longest-lasting characters on Grey's at this point, and he has a lasting history with so many of the characters. So of course there is something meaningful and powerful about everyone gathering together to make sure his surgery goes well. The stakes are high: he's going to live, but if they're not perfect with the surgery, he might never walk again. Again, this felt like a good balance to me, where we're not left in suspense about Owen's life, but there's still something awful that could happen if they're not really careful.

I thought Owen and Hayes' conversation was good, even if the whole drama seems manufactured to me. There was an interesting tension between these two men. They don't know each other particularly well, but Owen basically sacrificed his life to save Hayes, and both actors do a good job of portraying the intensity of that.

Farouk gets a working heart! They add in some drama here with the heart being bruised, but Winston decides to go for it and he ends up being right in taking that risk. I'm happy for Megan and Farouk, although I still feel like their presence here isn't seamlessly integrated. I keep forgetting that Megan is Owen's sister, and I'm still annoyed that in writing Megan back into the story, we've left poor Riggs out in the cold. Looks like Hayes isn't destined as a new love interest for her either, as he's leaving, which is such a huge bummer.

I like Maggie and Winston a lot. They have a little debate here about believing in miracles, and I hope this isn't going to mean discord for them any time soon... I like that Maggie doesn't believe in that kind of thing the way Winston does, but she's still supportive of him and they save a life together. They make a good team!

And finally... the only newer romance that I feel invested in, Amelia and Kai! God, Link was such an ass in this episode, I like the way Amelia told him off, and I hate that he got to be all self-righteous at her. She ended things with him, she didn't cheat on him, and he's asking like she's committed some terrible betrayal. Really annoying. Love that Amelia corrected Link on Kai's gender identity, loved the dinner scene at the end where Amelia explains the messiness of her life, and Kai just offers one of their fries. I really hope these two can make a real go of it. Link is sort of dead to me right now for the way he spoke to Amelia, and also for hooking up with Jo. Yuck.

Okay, that's all I've got. I guess it's fine that Owen didn't die from falling off a cliff or whatever. I'm bummed about Hayes. I'm grossed out by Link and Jo. I'm grieving for Levi. Can't wait to see what's next!

7.5/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's #grey's abc

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mowu-moment · 3 years ago

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i feel controversial & i care too much, so here's my des rocs complete tierlist

ranked list & reasoning (ish) under the cut

1. WAYNE: hoholy shit wayne. can hardly put into words how explosive this one is to me. the intro sets a Whole Mood before swiftly (& cleanly) smacking it down into an Absolute Banger and i don't use the term lightly. very hard not to scream along with it. only detriment is that wayne the person is kinda an ass in the mmc video but that's no qualm

2. POS: basically the same thing as wayne (oh both have great lyrics btw, this one more so), only gets points knocked for being 2 minutes long and having 30 seconds of that being intro & outro. go danny give us nothing

3. WHY WHY WHY: there's a theme among my top picks--they're all hard-hitting w/ killer guitar. the lyrics are absolute batshit in a good way, but the chorus is a lil flat & i feel like in general it just needed a touch more spice to score the top spot. or maybe it's just seniority & it'll have a coup a few months out idk

4. DEAD RINGER: similar killer guitar & lyrics but this one is Groovy as Hell. don't particularly like his singing in this one & it's too repetitive if i'm feeling grumpy but there's something so magic about after the bridge. top 10 songs to twirl a flag to

5. NOTHING PERSONAL: the minute long outro irks me & it's a little bit empty but plays into that well. groovy, great lyrics, the Sexiest Guitar Solo of the lot, the screaming's a minus but it does have an emotion there. not entirely sure what one but it's there.

6. LET ME LIVE / LET ME DIE: his first time being all over the goddamn place, history was made. amazing guitar, a little worse lyrics than 1-4 i'll admit, the intro Slays me both in a good and bad way. must be a joy to play live where he can just drag out that intro & bridge as long as feels right. at least i liked it in the digital concert like that. would actually kill me in a physical concert, imagine how much stomping gets going to that beat. bonus points for presumable cowbell

7. PIECES: for once not this high for the guitar & lyrics, they're both kinda basic. idk what's about this one but it just takes me to a separate dimension & i love it so much for that. really fills those earholes. also a bit of personal meaning, heard it for the first time on the day we moved into the house i'm currently split-custody-living in (is that tmi?) & the first music video of his i saw. man i love some spaghetti on the wall

8. SLO: basically the same as dead ringer, but knocked points for a kinda lame outro & the subject matter being a little less interesting to me. still lovely.

9. HANGING BY A THREAD: not my normal fare really & the way that the ends of the verses don't really fit in the pacing of them is bleh, but it's just so reminiscent of the songs my brother puts on whenever we hang out together that it just makes me all warm & fuzzy. it's also nicely put together which is something i'll have to start saying for. the later list.

10. SUICIDE ROMANTICS: this is where i start griping about head voice & higher pitches in general. don't like em so the pre-chorus is a lil annoying. also not my normal fare but it's tender & the ending is awe-striking. imo better live where he's loud on that last line before the final chorus. not enough to bump it up though. shoutouts to love and a smoking gun, i still am dying to hear that one

11. THE PAST HAS PASSED AWAY: my favorite lyrics out of the first 2 ep's. only thing wrong with it really is the bridge getting kinda repetitive. love that last chorus heehoo. same schpeel as the Banger Category

12. MMC: this one's lower than the rest of the Bangers for being pop punk which is something the radio has made me dislike, i guess. that trope with the guitar in the second half of the chorus just kills me so much. improves greatly during & after the bridge, love that lil ragtime piano. generally the same bit as before but i do love him doing something un-romance-related. yeah fuck the establishment!

13. THE DEVIL INSIDE: reminds me A Lot of the electronic-ish cassettes i've got from the early 90's but that's just me. this one will probably move up as i get more used to it, but only a little bit. the first part of the second verse makes me like. genuinely uncomfy? but the second part of it's fantastic. ending's ass though what happened to the instrumence. bonus points for using 'reverie' that's an SAT word (maybe). good singing but returning to the gripe at higher pitches, just a little bit though

14. THIS IS OUR LIFE: feels shockingly generic for a des rocs song tbh but there's nothing really wrong with that. adore the bridge. singing's alright. kinda miffed that he doesn't pronounce the 'f' in the second 'life' in the chorus, but it makes sense here. that sort of thing won't later so i'm bringing it up now. guitar's nothing spectacular but fits nicely into the song, probably one of the most cohesive of his (especially in recent history).

15. OUTTA MY MIND: really lives in the same space as slo and dead ringer do in my head (most likely the 'songs to twirl a flag to' zone), but this is by far the worst of the three for when i'm grumpy. just. Very repetitive. back to great lyrics here but it's kinda hard to pick them out (i've heard the song at least 100 times by now & i'm still missing a few lines). still groovin'

16. RUBY WITH THE SHARPEST LIES: what the fuck actually goes on in this song by the way? not the premise or whatever it's just. so all over the place. the verses are incredible but bringing in another vocalist just for one line kills me. bridge is really cool but that one part i don't remember where it is, the one that alternates basically nothing & an Electronic Piano Chord blaring at ya? ruins it. partially anyhow. also can someone tell the people on genius that it's 'carved it in my skin' not 'crawled down in my skin'

17. GIVE ME THE NIGHT: same repetitive issue as outta my mind but it's not groovy enough to save it, shame. feels like a trial run of all the wackshit stuff he's been doing recently, with the additional vocal bits at the end & the kinda weird lyrics. it still has a place in my heart don't get me wrong but it's just fallen in favor of stuff that Commits to banger or batshit (or actually pulls off both strongly, yyy). oh yeah nice guitar alright singing etc etc

18. USED TO THE DARKNESS: similar story to give me the night. i love it i do, but it's just lackluster nowadays. also remember that under-pronunciation thing i brought up in this is our life? this is where that comes back. rampant i tell you! that second verse he just doesn't finish the words & i hate it!

19. DON'T HURT ME: i honestly don't know why this one isn't in D. the chorus bit where he just cuts it short is irksome. the lyrics aren't anything special. i don't know what i like about it. but i can tell it does exactly what it set out to do if that makes sense. respect, respect. and using missile in an analogy, he's getting creative with the vocab

20. LIVING PROOF: kinda got a vendetta against this one i think? i don't know why i hate this one but i do. it's just kinda, blah. like the perfect sort of thing to nightcore up. sentiment's lovely & i do love the lyrics even if they aren't impressive but like. it bores me to an extent

21. TICK (LIVE): separating the version i heard in the digital concert just to give it some credit, this one was actually kinda nice. another one with a nice sentiment & what he was going for is great. no clue what the second part of the second verse has to do with any of this though. and it also begins our final group, the songs that just feel empty. like there's not nearly enough going on. this one's alright though i was just hoping the studio version would add some flair. you can see where that one is though.

22. IMAGINARY FRIENDS: also got a vendetta against pop. kinda hate the sentiment here (contrast!), the chorus just falls short of what the verses prime me for, head voice is rampant, and yet i still swing along to it. it's infectious props to him. love the outro though, monkey laugh and all.

23. MAYBE, I: another empty one, like it's a four-note progression what is that. love his singing in it, and the chorus parts do round it out, but like. eh? it doesn't even give me much to say.

24. BORN TO LOSE: another flop on the chorus! too smooth i say! and i absolutely Despise the pitch-shifting thing going on. not something i was expecting him to express so points there, lyrics are nothing fancy to my Literary Mind though. initially good singing but the chorus he's just sloppy over it. the instrumental is lovely but the vocals just throw it so hard into the bin which is a right shame. fuck that outro too i hate that gimmick

25. I KNOW: here's where the bad batshit comes in. singing is some of his worst imo, does the other-vocalist thing for that bridge, genre i'm not fond of, just a soup of Stuff I Don't Like. not one i'd kill someone over putting as #1 like i can see where it comes from but. mmmmmhhhh bad. cover does NOT help his case.

26. HVY MTL DRMR: empirically i should put this one higher. but the chorus flops so goddamn hard it deserves to be in the bottom of the barrel. the verses are lovely for what he was doing back then! but then just... nothing!

27. RABBIT HOLE: i was so excited for this name but it's just sad boi hours playlist curated by some corporation you hate. probably the most nothing of them all, genuinely where are the instruments. what happened. was this one just shoehorned in as the final track just to pump numbers up. and i swear he had some autotune or something which only makes his voice worse it's fantastic naturally. also that's not what a rabbit hole is! that's not the idiom! a rabbit hole is when you go on a wikipedia spiral from jennifer lopez to group theory! not when you just have a shitty night's sleep or whatever this is! i'm not just miffed i'm downright annoyed

28. TICK (STUDIO): what the fuck happened des. how did you release this. it sounds like a 3rd grader singing for the school talent show it's so out of rhythm. singing's honestly kinda bad & the instrumental has the same problems i talked about in the live version. the last chorus is fine, i guess, but no i don't forgive him for what he did to tick.

#des rocs #yeah i forgot tphpa on the first pass. it's always at least one #i guess i'm pessimistic on the new album? or i just don't like his new direction? idk i just finished it like. today.#wasn't expecting to be able to rank the songs of my Favorite Musician & be happy with it but here we are #tell me why i'm wrong in the notes <3

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ubernoxa · 5 years ago

Text

Broken Voodoo: The Story of the band that brought Rock N’ Roll back to life

Chapter 1: From the Begining

Prologue

Red, pinks, and yellow hues filled the sky as I watched the sunrise while the plane began to descend. It reminded me of one of the paintings that hung in the law office where I worked; however, instead of a small lake with a sailboat, the city of Los Angeles was staring back at me. A very intimidating city, if I may add. I would much rather have the calming lake staring back at me. Now before you begin to think that I am a lawyer with some fancy law degree, I should let you know that I am by no means a lawyer. I don’t even have a law degree, I have a two year degree in English. I performed patent research and proofread reports at the law office. Don’t get me wrong, some of the research is interesting and it's always exciting to work with inventors, especially when I help make the patent for their invention a reality. The only downside is that I hate working with lawyers who see me as a second class citizen with my English degree.

Luckily for me, the office was rather large, and my desk was far away from the condescending lawyers that filled the office. I would go about my day with ease only dealing with them for a couple of hours a day while I sat in their long boring meetings where I would constantly debate how much I actually needed this job while they would try to one up each other by playing the game I like to call ‘I am the smartest one in the room.’

I was able to keep to myself away from the lawyers for the most part, until a few months back when I thought I was going to get fired. It all started when I sat down at my desk one early Monday morning, and saw a handwritten note from my boss’s secretary saying to visit his office as soon as I arrived. Unsettling is one of the many words that came to mind when I first found the note taped to my desk. I would get fired if I said the other words that came to mind. I took one last glance around the room, making eye contact with one of my coworkers who shared a similar facial expression. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to be fired.

Dead girl walking.

“Oh Andi, I am glad you could join me,” I sent a soft smile to my boss as I closed the large wooden shrieking doors behind me.

“No problem at all, the meeting seemed important, so I moved my calendar around,” I replied, making sure to keep my hands under the table. They weren't shaking, they were trembling. I was terrified by not only the eyes that were now watching me through the large glass wall that he had in his office to make it a ‘friendlier’ environment, but also by the fact that I may be fired in the next ten minutes.

“Do you still play guitar?”

I could feel a confused look flash across my features as he spoke.

“Yeah, helps me relax after a long day. Why?” My mind was racing in circles trying to understand why he had asked me to come to his office first thing in the morning.

“Would you be interested in playing in a band?”

I let a nervous laugh escape me before I replied. “I am sorry what? Did you call me here to fire me or not?”

I was met with a hardy laugh from my boss. “No no no, to make an incredibly long story short, my niece’s boyfriend’s band entered into some silly band competition, and they need a replacement guitarist for a competition that is in a month. I have heard rumors around the office that you played, and I wanted to see if you could help out my niece. To be honest, I haven’t been the best godfather, so I was hoping you could help me out by joining the band for a month to play at the competition. My niece, such a foolish girl, believes that her boyfriend will become the next rockstar.I hope she quickly realizes how irrational she is being, and moves on. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah I would love to help,” I quickly responded, trying to hide how off put I was by his casual nature towards me. Within a couple of days I was Skyping the band for an interview and the rest is history.

I was pulled from my thoughts as the pilot announced that we had landed and welcomed us all to LA, the city of dreams. An older man helped me remove my carry on from the overhead bins, and after what felt like hours, I was off the plane. I felt like I could finally breathe again the moment I stepped off the pain and walked into the airport.

I watched through the skylight as the sun continued to rise, as if mocking me that I was still in the airport. Lucky for me, everything I needed was in my backpack and after a quick debate with the flight attendant who said I couldn’t bring my guitar as a carry on, I didn’t have to go to baggage claim. One of the few perks of working with lawyers and doing law research for a living is that I came prepared with a printed section of the FFA Reform act that said I could which quickly shut her up.

I kept my eyes peeled as I followed herds of people who appeared to be leaving. I felt like I was in pandora's labyrinth weaving through the various waiting areas, food courts, and shops. This airport must have been at least ten times larger than the one in Maine. I felt relief fill me as I finally spotted some familiar faces.

I spotted Jax’s blonde hair first as he towered over several of the people around him. Holy shit, at 5 ft 4 inches, I was going to look like a munchkin standing next to him. He stuck out like a sore thumb as he stood next to a smiley Robin in his leather pants with a jean vest. I guess shirts were not required in LA like how they are in Maine. He sent me a wave which I quickly returned as he motioned for us to meet off to the side, and not in the herd of people that were looking for relatives or loved ones.

I only knew three things about Jax.

He was currently dating Robin, but after talking to him over Skype during band meetings, I wondered how long that would last.

He was a charismatic and a good dancer, just like every lead singer in rock band before him

He may not look like it, but he had the voice of an angle from the heavens above.

I smiled at the small sign that Robin was holding that said ‘Welcome to California Andi’.. I felt underdressed in my athletic shorts, hoodie, and sneakers as I approached the pair, secretly wishing that I had worn a sundress similar to Robin.

“Welcome to LA, is it everything you hoped for?” Jax smiled as he welcomed me.

“It’s sunnier than Maine,” I replied once again looking at one of the hundreds of skylights.

“Well it’s good to finally meet you in person, let’s get going to the car, so we can get the fuck out of here,” I nodded at his words. Getting the fuck out of the overpacked busy airport felt amazing. For the past 9 hours I had felt like a sardine in a can. I craved fresh air.

“Here let me take that,” I cautiously eyed Robin as I handed her my guitar case.

“How was the flight?” She chirped walking by my side as we followed Jax to the parking garage.

“Can’t complain much. I had to fight the flight attendant about having my guitar as a carry on, but I won in the end. She was a bitch to me the entire flight though,” I replied earning a small giggle from Robin.

“How did you manage that?” I had assumed Jax had tuned Robin and I out as we made it to his truck.

“Law says I can bring it as a carry on, so I printed out the section I needed. Once I handed the paper to her she shut up. I hate causing problems, but there is no way I was ‘gate checking’ my guitar. I didn’t want some random guy tossing it around on the tar mat, or watching my baby slide down the luggage ramp before it slammed into a wall,” I quickly replied before hopping in the back seat.

“So I have to ask, what is it like working for my uncle?” Robin was currently sitting shotgun, as Jax backed up the truck and began to leave the spaghetti jungle that was the parking lot.

“I honestly only talked to him twice. The first was on my first day at work when he introduced himself to me. The second was when he asked me if I could help Broken Voodoo out which by the way I thought he was going to fucking fire me when he called me to his office,” I laughed at myself thinking back to the moment only a month ago.

“Ohh Sorry about that Andi.”

“Don’t worry Robin,” I smiled back, earning one in return.

“So the plan for this morning is to drop you off at my place to get some additional practice with the rest of the band while I head up north to check us into the competition. We won’t be playing until day two so we don’t have to get there until tomorrow night,” He said as he pulled up into some random parking spot.

“Don't you need to practice with us?” I asked out of curiosit.

“Honey, don't worry about me. I'm so good I don't need to practice,” I was glad we were walking up a creaky staircase as he replied. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep my jaw from dropping to the floor. I was impressed by him and his ego could fit through the small doorway that led to his apartment. No, it was not an apartment. It was a studio. I placed my guitar by the drums and other instruments that took up half of the studio.

“Hey Andi! Welcome to California!” I turned to see Oli shout across the studio the moment he saw me. Before I could respond, someone threw something across the room at Oli.

“Shut the fuck up, Oli. It is too early for you to be this loud,” I didn't have to see the bassist’s face to know Seb was the one over in the corner on the paper thin mattress.

“Oli, Robin and I gotta head out to sign in and get our backstage passes for the competition. Get to practicing to get her ready,” Jax said before leaving the pathetic excuse of an apartment.

“Don’t worry Andi, I have heard you play countless times, you’ll do fine. It is more of the stage presence we are worried about. We should have plenty of ‘stage presence’ with that throwing trick you came up with, but we have to cover the whole stage,” Oli patted my back as we headed over towards his drum kit.

“I’ve been practicing with the rod you sent a few weeks back, we can practice the trick once we get our instruments good to go. We sound the part, now we have to look the part,” Seb paused as he took a second to look me over. The worst part wasn’t that he was being incredibly obvious he was checking me out, the worst part was the unsatisfactory look he had on his face.

“You don’t look like a rocker,” I scoffed at his comment. Of course I didn't look like a rocker. I just got off of a nine hour flight.

“Well, you look like a complete dick, so at least one of us is dressed appropriately,” I sassed back before moving towards my guitar to retune it.

“Alrighty!” I was brought from my tuning by Oli who was once again playing peacekeeper by breaking the silence and clapping his hands.

“Alot is at stake here, so let's get to practicing,” he added once he was seated behind his drum kit.

Seb counted us in, and we began our setlist from the top.

I brushed off Seb’s comment, and began to focus on the music.i could already feel the pressure to perform perfectly. As a rhythm guitarist, playing as the solo guitarist felt foreign. As we played through our setlist, I tried loosening out by copying some of Seb’s dance moves. I chose not to mimic the ones that looked like just sex.

Oli was right, there was a lot at stake here.

I was surprised when I found out that there was no cash prize. Instead, according to Jax, there was something more valuable. The shot at a record deal.

With this competition only happening once every couple years, this was their shot to make it big.

#fanfiction #fanfic #gnr fanfiction #gnr fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfic #guns n’ roses fanfiction #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue fanfic #skid row fanfic #skid row fanfiction #rockfic #rock n’ roll fanfic #rock n’ roll fanfiction

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