#I'm honestly just really touched that two people would want to read whatever I write.

[ratgirlexe]

It's eventually going to be one hell of a flashbang to the exactly 2 people on Ao3 who have subscribed to my account for cute HDG stories when I post chapter 3 of A Little Voice.

Somehow I don't think the folks who've followed me for cute stories about finding love after a life of hardship are going to vibe as much with the pretty hardcore snuff-edging Coquette Dragoon fic.

[bratbarzal]

On Your Side (NH13) / Chapter Three

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen*

*I say it's an OC, it's just a name and third person POV. I use minor character descriptions because I don’t get on with writing vague reader inserts/YN for long-form, story heavy fics, but I will generally try to avoid including race and body type or really any physical descriptors. I’m always open to feedback on my writing, or how to be more inclusive.

WC: 13k

Chapter Warnings: angst obviously what would this story be without it, poppy and nico having an overdue conversation, nico moping again with his big sad brown eyes, nico being jealous again, drinking, cursing, meddling friends, being stood up, mentions of controlling parents as always, a little touching maybe a little more kissing too and even more meddling friends

Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.

Series Masterlist

Previous Part (Chapter Two)

A/N: I have nothing to say honestly just hope you enjoy I really don't know why I struggled writing most of this despite knowing what I wanted to do with it I think just figuring out how I want certain conversations to go and how to get from a to b is pure stresssss I'm not entirely in love with it but what can you do also proofread her? I hardly know her

but if you have anything to say pls send it my way lmao I'd really like to hear any thoughts or opinions 💓

Poppy

Poppy was once told by her good friend, Kelsey, that she would be able to tell everything she needed to know about a guy by the way they answered one very simple question. 

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

She thinks about it more often than she really should, if she’s honest with herself, but Kelsey’s rationale behind each potential answer is actually a stroke of rare genius - and Poppy often finds herself applying the logic to most people that she encounters.

Guys who say super speed are the ultimate red flag. No one wants a quick finisher, no matter how fast they may be in any other aspect of life. Some things specifically require time and patience. Sacrificing your partner’s satisfaction all to say you can run the world record fastest 5k is the ultimate ick.

There’s an argument to be made for the endurance choosers, it sure has its perks, but Poppy thinks it’s a boring pick. To be given the option of any superpower, and to choose perseverance, of all things? Get a life. 

Anyone who chooses x-ray vision is a certified pervert, obviously. The same could be said for those wanting to read minds, although most of the guys Poppy has seen in her life struggle to comprehend the things she says in plain words, never mind whatever nonsense is circling through her inner thoughts. 

Those who choose flying are one dimensional, rarely able to see beyond what’s right in front of them, because, if they could, they’d choose the much better option of teleportation.

Who chooses flying when you could just think about somewhere and instantaneously arrive? With your hair in tact and no risk of bumping into any territorial birds.

Teleportation is what Poppy would have picked if anyone would have asked her a week ago, for the mere fact that commuting anywhere is the bane of her entire existence, and if she thinks too hard about it or looks to much into it, it always has been. 

She associates it with sitting in the back of her dad’s Bentley as a child, a tangible, frosty silence lingering in the air between her parents after one of their many even-toned arguments disguised as discussions, the fresh pine scent making her car sick and the leather seats making the back of her thighs sticky. 

Or the fragile bones of her hand being crushed by her mother’s tight grip as they rode the Amtrak over to Manhattan, Priscilla sneering at anyone who dared step too close on the crowded carriage, Poppy being dragged throughout department stores in the name of mother-daughter bonding time, and clutching to a tiny consolation Macy’s bag housing a sparkly lip gloss like her life depended on it the whole way home. 

She thinks of all the hours of her life she’s wasted on the Palisades Parkway, no longer able to enjoy the scenic route whenever she has to drive back to her parent’s house in Alpine after having watched one too many crime shows where a broken down car leads to a girl’s face plastered all over the news.

Even driving to work can feel like hell when the traffic is bad, what should be a 30 minute drive sometimes turning into an hour, Poppy’s fingers cramping around the wheel and her feet itching to touch solid ground after too long.

Teleportation sounds perfect.

And, there’s even a romance element to it. Being whisked away to Paris in the blink of an eye, suddenly sitting outside a boulangerie, decadent, rich hot chocolate on a table in front of her and a plate full of pastries, all because she mentioned a slight craving for a pain au chocolat. 

Teleportation has always been the only correct, green-flag answer to the question. 

Until Poppy properly considered time travel, that is.

The concept of it has always been a little too much or her to handle - too many strange loopholes, too many bad examples from the sci-fi movies her brother had loved as a kid. Travelling back in time to when her parents were her age and accidentally capturing her adolescent father’s attention à la Marty McFly? Sounds like hell and horror to Poppy. 

But that was before she screwed everything up.

If she could have any superpower right now, currently weighed down with the burden of hindsight - which people have always told her is a funny thing, but she thinks is actually somewhat diabolical - she would pick time travel a thousand times over.

Because if human beings have a specific part of their brain that is dedicated to forcing them to sit and stew on their every poor decision for days on end - lets them rethink and regret everything until they’re blue in the face, and can’t think of anything other than how idiotic they have been - it should also offer the kindness of being able to go back and change what they so royally fucked up.

That’s what Poppy thinks, at least, as she throws herself down onto her bed, her back hitting the duvet in a whoosh and all she can do is stare at the ceiling and wonder how and when she became such a certified moron.

There’s a part of her that suspects it’s in her genes. Inevitable. Unavoidable. Nature and nurture, she was born and raised to be a full blown fool.

Poppy comes from a long line of privilege, and while it does take a certain element of intelligence to amass the wealth her family has, it also tends to go hand in hand with ignorance in its many forms.

Behind every fortuitous business move her father makes are a million other mistakes - failed ventures, bad investments, shoddy pieces of advice accepted from the untrustworthy snakes he surrounds himself with. Hidden beneath every rung of the social ladders her mother has managed to climb, there are the ugly faux-pas’ slipping through the cracks of a former, more unsavoury life she can never run too far from. And her brother - well, she suspects he’s just an idiot, there are no two ways about it.

She knows that she needs to stop blaming her family, though. This time, it’s all her.

She can’t blame her father for the way she overthinks, the man who makes every decision in life with the littlest regard for how anyone else feels about it. She can’t blame her mother for the way she places such little value on herself, the woman who walks into every room like she owns it and refuses to let anyone make her think otherwise.

Except maybe she can.

If she had the nerve to talk to a therapist, they might disagree - might say her overthinking comes from her dad’s lack of communication skills, a part of her brain always filling in the gaps of a half-assed, other side of any conversation with him. Or they might say her insecurities come from her mom constantly putting Poppy down while telling her to be more sure of herself - stop slouching, Poppy, no one will take you seriously with the posture of a candy cane.

She’d love to know where her need to repress her feelings so deep that she becomes an impenetrable, cold, dark fortress comes from. The need to push and shove when someone tries to get too close, because God forbid anything is ever easy when it comes to her affections.

It would have made the past 4 days since Nico had walked into her apartment and kissed the life out of her a whole lot easier. 

4 days spent reminiscing, rethinking and regretting every single thing she had said and done since their lips parted, since he had put his heart on the line and she’d whacked it away, full swing, as if too desperate for the victory of a last-bat home run.

If she could time travel, she’d do the whole thing over.

-

“Don’t go on that date, Mohn.”

She had read the words on his lips before they registered through her ears, the sound of her blood rushing throughout her body occupying every sense for a brief moment.

What the hell is going on?

Nico had kissed her. He’d grabbed her, pulled her into him, and she’s pretty sure he had made her heart stop for a good second - there’s no other justifiable reason for the way it had been reverberating against her ribcage ever since. 

And then he stood before her, a desperate, pleading projection playing in his dark irises, lips still slick from where her own had just been, cheeks flushed, shoulders rising with subtle panting breaths, waiting for a response to a question she couldn’t even remember hearing.

“W-what?” She’d stuttered, blinking hard and shaking her head as if to rattle her brain into whatever semblance of cognisance she could muster.

Nico had kissed her, and then wanted to talk? As if she had the brain power left for any kind of discussion after that?

He seemed proud of the mess he had made of her, lips lifting at one side, drawing her gaze immediately to every movement they made, so focused on the memory of how pillowy-soft they had felt against hers that she didn’t notice him stepping a little closer, raising a large hand to tuck her hair behind her ear until she flinched at the contact.

“Sunday, Poppy,” he had uttered, unfazed by her skittishness, “Your date, don’t go.”

She had blinked again, completely overwhelmed on every front. She could still taste him on her tongue, he was so close she could smell his cologne, tunnel vision only seeing him in front of her and the hand that cupped the side of her face in her peripheral, her heartbeat echoing through her skull and every nerve, every slight hair on her body, standing as if trying to close the distance between his body and hers.

It was the sensory overload that made her go against all other instincts.

“I can’t.” Her voice had sounded like it hadn’t been used in weeks, croaky and unsure, her next words stammered, “I can’t not go, I mean. I have to go.”

“You don’t have to go, Poppy,”

“No, I do.” That had sounded a little surer, the fog in her brain slowly clearing only for something more tumultuous to pass through in it’s place. “I don’t understand what’s happening.”

Nico blinked once, then again, frustration clear in the furrow of his thick brows as he seemed to stew on his next words, desperate to say the right thing. There was a prolonged, tense beat, before he had asked, “Have you ever thought we could be more?”

“More?”

“More than friends.”

If her heart hadn’t stopped when he had kissed her, it must have stopped then.

His back straight, eyes looking directly into hers, a hopeful, inquisitive gleam shining from within them - he had never seemed so sure of something for as long as she had known him.

Poppy couldn’t stop the little voice in her head questioning, where the hell has this come from?

“Have you?” She had asked with a eyre of disbelief.

 Not once in the years she had known him had he ever made it seem like they could be more. There had always been an unspeakable, undeniable barrier between them. They were friends. They’d always been friends. Just friends.

Friends who spent most of their free, personal time together, friends who bought each other sentimental gifts they’d never get for anyone else, who shared intimate details about their lives and their pasts, and kissed each others heads like a goodbye ritual. Friends who broke each other’s hearts, seemingly beyond repair, without explanation.

“I think so.”

“You think so?”

“I mean,” He had paused, breaking eye contact for a second as if wracking his brain for the right answer, sensing a teetering tension between the two of them. “Yeah. Yes. I have.”

She had narrowed her eyes at him, weighing up the possibility in her mind that she wouldn’t have liked any response he gave to her, every prospective answer causing a flood of doubt and uncertainty to crash in rushing, destructive waves through her mind. “Since when?” She’d asked, trying to level her bite.

If he’d ever thought they could be more, what the hell have they been doing all this time?

“Since I met you, I think,” he had shrugged.

Wrong answer, again.

“And you only bring it up when I have a date with someone else?”

She watched a series of antithetical emotions pass through his features, understanding, confusion, acceptance, denial, resilience, cowardice. He had seemed to find the small margins between all of them, when he had come back with, “It’s not because of your date, Poppy.”

“Then why?” She tilted her head as she continued to analyse him, again not sure what she was looking for, or what she wanted to find. That something tumultuous was already whirling within her, too late to be stopped, and Nico could seemingly see the warning signs.

“Why are you getting mad at me, right now?”

“I’m not mad,” she had denied, not even knowing if she was lying or not, “I’m confused. 2 weeks ago, we weren’t even talking, Nico-,”

“You said you forgave me for that.”

“I didn’t-.” She’d cut herself off before she could say something that would upset him, the conversation spiralling so far out of control from the momentary bliss he had provided only minutes ago - but she was too far up shit’s creek without a paddle, there was no turning back. She’d been wanting to have a proper conversation with Nico all week, what better time than the middle of the night on what was now his birthday? “That’s not exactly what I said.”

He had taken a step back, lips parting with an unreleased gasp, the once-hopeful glint in his eyes transforming into hurt. “You don’t forgive me?”

“I didn’t say that either,” she sighed, wanting answers, not to cause him anguish. “Please don’t put words in my mouth.”

“Then tell me what the hell is wrong? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I don’t understand where this has come from, Nico! You come in here and kiss me out of nowhere and tell me not to date other people and I’m just supposed to blindly follow along when I don’t get what the hell is happening with you!”

“I think me kissing you makes it pretty obvious what I want to happen, Mohn.” He had tried to ease the tension, his voice level and steady, stepping forward with his hands raised in an attempt to calm her, but she had taken a slight step back, clearly unaffected. 

“It doesn’t.” She’d stopped looking at him at that point, keeping an eye on his feet to watch his encroaching steps. “Nothing about you is obvious. You don’t tell me anything and all I can think about is what I did wrong.”

If he couldn’t see the tears pooling at her lashes, he had to have heard the break in her voice - a sure indicator that she was close to crying - but his steps had stopped, feet seemingly stuck to their place on the hardwood flooring of Poppy’s apartment, and she could feel her heart shatter knowing he wasn’t persisting again.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He tries to reassure her, but it’s no use.

Maybe she would have believed him if he’d held her while he said it, transferred the meaning through touch to her skin, gripping her with every word until she truly understood the weight of them.

“It had to have been something. You don’t just stop wanting to know a person for no reason, Nico, so what was it?” She made her way to her couch, perching on the edge of the seat with her knees pressed together, and looked over to where he remained standing.

She could feel her temper flaring again. 

How could he have the nerve to do this to her - to turn her world upside down in a matter of minutes - and not have the answers she needed to accept it?

“Poppy-,”

“I need to know. I can’t drop it and forget about it, and I’m sorry that I made it seem like I could, but if you want us to move on from this, if you want to come here and kiss me like that, and tell me you don’t want me seeing other people, I need to know what happened.”

“I-,” Nico sighed heavily, shoulders drooping, any confidence and bravado he had displayed after their kiss now a distant memory. “I don’t know.”

She had an immediate, striking thought, that maybe if she asked closed questions, he could give her an answer, and so, with misplaced courage, she asked, “Was it her?”

“What?”

“Your girlfriend. Did she ask you to stop talking to me?”

It was a thought that had been plaguing her for longer than she’d like to admit - unable to shake the idea that maybe Talia had seen one of the texts she had sent, had gone through Nico’s phone and seen any of their older messages, any photos he might have kept on his phone, maybe a memory had come up from snapchat, maybe someone had mentioned Poppy and her curiosity had been piqued. 

Poppy had always thought if she was dating someone, and they had a Poppy, she might feel some type of way about it. 

But her and Nico were just friends.

Nico rounded the couch, sitting on the cushion beside Poppy, their knees knocking as he reached into her lap and took her shaking hands in his.

“Do you really think I’d stop talking to you just because someone asked me to?” Their eyes had met again, sadness brewing in the dark coffee colour surrounding his dilated pupils, and a glassy film coating her own. “Poppy, I would never.”

“I don’t know what to think, Nico, because you won’t tell me.”

“Because it doesn’t make sense! I try wrapping my head around it, try coming up with some kind of explanation, but nothing I say is going to change what I did to you, Poppy.”

Her question before had gotten her an honest response, had elicited something real and undeniable within him - he’d never stop talking to her because someone asked him to. So it was his own decision, subconscious or not. Maybe she could help dig further, she thought.

“Why did you kiss me?” She asked after a beat.

“I,” Nico pondered over it before rushing his answer, a wave of emotion flashing across his face before his eyes locked on hers, ready to let her in. “Because I wanted to.”

That was a start - a simple question, a straightforward answer. 

“Was that the first time that you wanted to?”

“No.”

Poppy could feel some semblance of confidence coming back. Closed questions, concrete answers, she could keep this up.

“When was the last time you wanted to kiss me?”

She could have asked the first - she sure as hell wanted to know it, but if he’d thought of being more the entire time they’d known each other, there was a lingering possibility there were many times - and they would be there until sunrise if they started from the beginning.

“Finnegan’s.” 

“The bar?”

“We went there when we came back after we crashed out of the playoffs, do you remember?”

She remembered.

It had only been a couple of days before Nico had left for his summer back home in Switzerland.

Their loss in Carolina had been devastating, the boys came back broken and defeated, and all just wanted to drown their sorrows before they broke for their off-season. Poppy had been out with Nia and Kelsey and a few other friends at another bar when Jack had responded to her instagram story, saying they’d be at the Irish pub that was a staple within the team, and she should come over and join them.

She had made her way over pretty late, wanting to make sure her friends were okay without her, and arrived when most of the boys were completely shit-faced, past the point of tears and moping and deep into a mass state of hysteria and loud jubilation for the successes along the way.

She had found Nico in a booth in the far corner of the bar, head slumped over the back, eyes seemingly tracing the cracks in the ceiling until she crawled into the bench behind him, leaned over with her elbows resting on either side of his head, and took up his entire view. 

“What’cha doin’?” She’d asked, lips twisting at the sight of his dizzy eyes trying to correct themselves to focus on her. 

He’d quickly given up, pressing his eyes closed to shut out the risk of nausea taking over, the outer corners crinkling, the sides of his nose scrunching and his eyelashes fanning a shadow over his cheekbones - her own eyes were level with his lips, so he couldn’t really hide the way they curved at the quick glimpse of her.

“Suffering,” he had muttered, squinting one eye open to catch a brief, upside down glance of her. Nico was never this down after a few drinks. He was giggly, he was loud, he was touchy and clumsy - he was never the hide away in the corner sad type. “Wanna join me?”

“Always.” She affirmed, making her way around to his side of the booth and sliding in beside him until her bare thigh pressed against the somewhat scratchy linen of the pants he wore. 

“I’m probably not the best company tonight,” He remained in the same position, neck craning so the base of his head could rest atop the back of the seat, and his eyes closed - giving Poppy the perfect opportunity to properly look him over.

The few moments they’d had together, alone, over the past few weeks, he’d been pent up, stressed, overworked and on the brink of eruption, so this was the first time in a long time she’d managed to catch him without the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Only, that weight wasn’t so easy to shift.

She saw it in the bags under his eyes, in the unkempt playoff beard he was yet to shave off, in the stuttered way his chest rose and fell with his attempts at deep, calming breaths. 

As she watched him, the corner of her lip tucked between her teeth in contemplation, she knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel better about this. He just had to feel it out, process it in his own way without her interference - but she wanted to be there, at least.

And as much as she wanted to tell him it wasn’t his fault, that he did the best he could, and led his team through one of their strongest seasons in recent franchise history, she wanted to provide him comfort in the quiet, too.

“I don’t mind.”

And so, with little trepidation, she placed a hand on his chest, over his heart, and rested her head next to it, glancing up to see the push of a dimple forming on his cheek as his arm stretched around her and welcomed her into his warm embrace.

“You wanted to kiss me then?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “Didn’t seem like the right time, though,” he followed up with an answer to a question she hadn’t even asked, yet. “I was leaving too soon and I didn’t want you to think I’d just kissed you because I was drunk and upset.”

Her eyes moved to his lips, a question for herself whirling around in her head. Would she have wanted him to kiss her then? What would have happened in the aftermath? Where would they be now? Would she have thought that? Would she have spent her summer stewing over what it meant, and how his lips had felt against hers?

Before she had much time to think it over, Nico continued, being spurred on by such a distinct memory that he was rolling towards the answer she had been waiting for, and she wasn’t going to stop him to try and decipher her own feelings.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I went home, thinking about wanting to kiss you, or not kissing you, and what it all would mean, and I kept trying to distract myself thinking I could just figure it all out when I came back here but then I met Talia, and I felt wrong for thinking about you when I had her.”

That had made sense. Nico was always a guy that would do the right thing. If he had a girlfriend, he wouldn’t think of the prospect of something with someone else, even if that someone was Poppy, and that something was a culmination of years of pent up feelings finally coming together to form something potentially wonderful.

She didn’t quite need or want to hear the rest. Didn’t want to hear how he’d gone looking for a distraction, and found just that. 

Nico was loyal, and for him to maintain that essence of himself, he had to ignore the possibility of Poppy. Some subconscious part within him saw her as a threat to the stability he had with the perfect girl from back home, and he boxed her away to make room for what could be with Talia.

It stung, but he was right. Neither of them could change what had already happened.

“Do you think you could ever forgive me?”

She’d nodded after only a second, barely even thinking about it.

Jack’s words from New Years Eve rang through her, suck it up and move on.

Nico had his reasons, she had her answers. He wasn’t bored of her, wasn’t tired of her or annoyed by her. He’d been so caught up by his unspoken, untranslated feelings for her that he twisted himself into untangle-able knots that were only just starting to loosen up enough to be picked apart.

“Could you maybe say it?”

“Yeah, I could.” she had said through trembling lips, the hurt in his voice burrowing through her eardrums, lodging itself in her own throat, and dripping slowly but surely into the depths of her chest. “I will.” She had to be more sure, needing to erase any doubt she had planted within him. “I do.”

“You do?”

He still held her hands in his from when he had sat down, palms warm and slightly perspirant from his tight grip around her knuckles.

“I forgive you.”

His mouth twitched into a shaky smile, his eyes catching the soft light and twinkling with emotion, and she definitely wanted to kiss him, then.

She had wondered if this is what he felt when he’d kissed her before, this burning need. Her fingers twitched in his hold, her heart thudded in her chest, and her lips parted in anticipation, until she could finally slam the breaks on her torpedoing thoughts.

“It’s just a lot to process, and I don’t really know how I feel.”

She had wished she could take it back as soon as the words left her mouth, and Nico’s features had folded as he took them in. He broke eye contact almost immediately, head dropping to look down at their hands until he released hers back into her lap. 

“I get it.” He uttered, forcing a smile as he glanced back up at her, briefly. “I sprung this on you out of nowhere, I’m s-,”

“Please don’t apologise,” she interrupted before he could go there, knowing it would send her brain into overdrive if he let even the thought of regret fester between them, “I’m glad you did. I don’t want you to be sorry about it.”

Relief washed over the both of them in a warm, steady stream as he nodded, leaning into the back of the couch, legs spreading as an elongated sigh wracked through his torso. 

He ran a hand through his hair, and Poppy’s eyes flickered to the flex of his fingers, the strain of his wrist, the flash of protruding veins where his sleeve had pulled up with the stretch of his movements. 

His eyes closed, and she took him in just like she had that night in Finnegan’s bar.

She’d had an urge then, a desire even, to provide comfort - to share his burdens, make him forget the pain he had just endured, wash it all away with encouraging words, gentle touches. A shoulder to cry on, two ears to listen, and, albeit she didn’t entirely know it at the time, a whole heart that was his for the taking.

And take it, he did, held it all summer, bent it all sorts of ways out of shape up until New Years Eve, and it was still in his hands. Smushed, dented, squeezed to within an inch of his life, her heart was his.

It was up to her now to figure out what she wanted him to do with it. 

“I made a promise to my mom about the date, Nico, I have to go.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, seemingly resigned to the fact he had maybe been a little too lost in the moment to make such a crazy demand of her. 

“And I think maybe we both need a little time to properly think about what is happening here.”

“Time?” He practically shot up, alarm in his eyes.

“We’ve barely been apart all week, Nico, I think that might be why we’re both so,” she struggled for the right word - pent up, emotional, strung out, “Intense.”

She had known she was emotional, overthinking to the point of ruin, but maybe he was too. Maybe that’s what had led to the kiss, to the outburst of sentiment. They were both in the depths of a pressure cooker of emotions, and some space might do them good to gain a little clarity.

Maybe with a little more time to think on it, to consider what he was admitting to, have a little breathing room, and act more on something concrete than a fleeting in-the-moment feeling, he might change his mind. He deserved the opportunity to do so, she wouldn’t hold it against him.

“How much time do you think you would need?”

“I’m driving up to my parent’s house on Friday, so I would have been away for most of the weekend anyway, maybe we check back in on Monday and see where our heads are at?”

“4 days,” he muttered as if he’d just counted them in his head. “I can do that.”

“Yeah?” He had nodded in response, and there was something like hope that lingered between them, sharing small smiles and gazing through glassy eyes. “You’ll be so busy you won’t even get the chance to miss me.”

She believed it to be true - Nico had his family over, would be spending the latter end of the day with them, and had 2 big home games in a row to worry about. Poppy would be the last thing on his mind.

If she had blinked in the moment, she might have missed the way his observation slipped to her lips, lingered there for a brief second, and glanced back up to flicker between her eyes again. “Not possible.”

“Poppy, have you suffered some kind of brain injury I don’t know about?” Nia’s voice rings through the speaker of the phone pressed to her ear, already supposedly-styled hair fanned out around her as she lays staring at the ceiling, willing herself to get up and go before she’s late.

No matter how much she doesn’t want to go on this date, her mother will kill her if she hears anything other than a glowing review. On time, preened to perfection, polite and sociable. 

“Maybe I hit my head in my sleep at some point,” she thinks out loud, glancing back to the sharp edges of her bedside table and wondering if she could have thudded into it in the night.

Surely she would have a scar or a bruise.

“You must have,” Nia agrees, “That’s the only logical explanation why you’d ever consider telling the guy you’ve been hung up on since you first met him that you need time to think about how you feel,”

“Ni,” Poppy groans, “I called you for advice, not a lecture.”

“If you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, and you my friend, are a dumbass.”

“In my defence-,”

“Nope!” Poppy doesn’t know what Nia is doing on the other end, but she hears something clatter as if being slammed down on a table in protest, “There is no defence, you’re an idiot.”

“I didn’t know how I felt about it, Ni,” Poppy sighs, sitting up and catching sight of herself in the mirror. She doesn’t know why so much of her time tonight has been wasted trying to look so good when she doesn’t even want to. When she’d gone to visit her parents, her mother had practically given her a full blown rundown of the guy she was meeting.

Tucker Lyon, she can’t help to instinctively roll her eyes at just his name, works in investment grade finance for one of the Big 4 - she hadn’t cared enough to ask which one. His family are property people, her mom had said, and own enough Manhattan real estate to hold some serious power. Priscilla had met his mother years ago at some luncheon in the city, and apparently the two had been in cahoots since then to set their children up.

Poppy doesn’t want to be set up with some walking red flag, biting her tongue over a plate of food too small to satisfy her hunger while he mansplains stocks and shares to her.

She wants to be in whatever bar the guys are holed up in, tucked under Nico’s arm, side practically glued to his, sipping cocktails and celebrating him like he deserves to be celebrated.

But instead, she can admit, she has been a royal idiot.

“I still don’t know, it’s all come at me full force and I don’t understand my feelings.”

“Bullshit!” Nia scoffs, “You knew you were into him the second he first flashed those dimples your way.”

She isn’t entirely wrong.

Poppy had once harboured a slight crush on him. In the very early stages of their friendship. One small enough that when she realised it was completely one-sided - and she was being delusional to ever think his cute nickname for her and his insistence on spending time only with her was anything more than his attempt to make a friend - she could swallow it down until it was barely anything.

She trained her heart not to stutter when he approached her, told her brain to shut up when he flashed her one of those perfect, all consuming smiles, and could cross her arms to restrain her hands from wanting to hold his whenever they walked side by side.

She’d become so good at suppressing her feelings, she’d forgotten she had them.

She had forgotten all the times they had hung out alone over the years, never second guessing all the looks and the touches, the times he’d let her stay over if it got too late to go home alone, and the times he’d waltz into hers like he owned the place.

She’d forgotten when she had seen him with Talia, always claiming the feeling in her gut was one of loss and reminiscence, not envy and bitterness.

She’d forgotten when the Hughes brothers had helped her move a couple months ago, and Luke had questioned the amount of Nico he was helping to scatter throughout her apartment. Pictures on her bookshelf, pictures stuck to her fridge with souvenir magnets from Swiss gift shops, a couple hoodies, Devils branded shorts and big t-shirts of his he’d come across in the boxes. 

“I didn’t realise you and Cap were so close,” Luke had picked a frame out of one of the boxes, the picture of Nico and Poppy at the Halloween party inside, and waved it in her direction as she stood with her hands on her hips, figuring out if she wanted to alphabetise or colour code the books she was displaying. 

“Huh?” Poppy tilted her head towards the tall boy, watching as he shook his curls back into place and ran a hand through them. He’d worked up a bit of a sweat lugging her boxes upstairs, and now that everything was finally moved, Jack had gone to get them food, and Poppy and Luke were getting started on unpacking the easy stuff. She looked to the picture in hand, reaching over and taking it to get a closer look. “I guess we were, I don’t really know.” She wasn't a good enough actress to properly pull off the nonchalance she was aiming for.

“You don’t know?” Luke scoffed, rifling through other pictures in the box - all framed, mostly of her and Nico, some just the two of them, some of them in groups, but always side by side. Always grinning ear to ear. “You’ve got like a shrine in here, PJ,”

“It’s not a shrine,” she had argued, “You don’t keep pictures of your friends? Sounds kind of cold, if you ask me, Moosey.”

“I keep pictures on instagram and my phone like a normal person.” He chuckled.

“Generational gap, you kids are done for when the cloud goes down, you know. Physical media is forever.”

“You sound like my mom.” Luke jibed, and true to his nature, unable to stop himself before he inadvertently crossed a line, he asked with a weird wiggle of his eyebrows, “So, you wanna keep Nico forever, huh?”

“Shut up, Luke.” If Poppy had something soft enough, she would have thrown it at his head. The photo frame in hand seemed like overkill, and she didn’t want to hurt the kid, just make him stop. She didn’t much like talking about him, what they once had, what they once were. Even if he did have the wrong impression of what they were. It was upsetting, and she didn’t want to get upset - not in front of Luke. “You can keep those in the box.”

Luke had reached out for the frame in Poppy’s grasp, had watched as she hesitated giving it back, as she looked down and took in the huge smiles on her and Nico’s faces, and as she made the decision not to put this one back. Maybe she could phase it out, wait until she took a nicer, more meaningful picture with someone else before she replaced that one.

“I’ll keep this one out. I look cute.”

"Sure." His sarcasm was not entirely appreciated.

She had heard him chuckle to himself as she stood the frame on one of the shelves, placing it between a scented candle she had no intention of ever lighting and a small faux lavender plant. Not shrine-like at all.

She’d forgotten about any suppressed feelings until Nico kissed her.

Until he opened up Pandora’s box, releasing all her pent up emotions to roam freely, creating chaos and causing havoc through every corner of her entire existence. 

For the past 3 days, she’s thought about him with everything she has done. 

On Thursday afternoon, sat alone in her office, going over emails and wondering what he would be up to with his family. Was he happy, were they having fun, did he think about her for a second?

On Friday evening, driving alone on the long winding roads to her parent’s house and listening to the commentary for the game on the radio. Making it to the house in time for the 3rd period, and seeing the team celebrate. Was he well rested, excited for his family to watch him play at home, did he look up into the staff suite at the Rock and wish she was there cheering him on?

On Saturday, retreating to her childhood bedroom after another tense family dinner, snuggling up with the dogs on her bed as she watched the game. Was he beating himself up, had he gone straight home on his own after the loss, did he have the same urge to call her as much as she wanted to call him?

Did he, on any of those nights, lay awake thinking about that kiss?

About how right it had felt? How he had exerted his subtle dominance over her with such ease, large hands encompassing her face and holding her to his lips like his life depended on it?

Did he think about where it could have gone if she hadn’t shut him down? Where they could be if he’d made a move before?

She’s been thinking about it. Non-stop thinking about it.

Thinking about that kiss, and the possibility of others - the moment in the bar, all the other potential moments he had wanted to kiss her and hadn’t. The fact that maybe her feelings had never been one sided, and she’s wasted years pushing them down for nothing.

“Do you think I made a mistake not cancelling this date?” She asks her friend in a moment of vulnerability, her mind reeling with the possibility that she has already fucked up what could be.

“No.” Nia assures her, surprisingly. She’s been calling her an idiot all night, what does she mean, ‘no’? “I think he needs to sweat a little, let him think about you out tonight with another guy, and come tomorrow, his mind will be made up.”

“You don’t think we might be overestimating how much it bothers him?”

“Don’t make me call you a dumbass again, Pop.” Poppy can hear the rolling of her best friend’s eyes through the phone. “And send me a picture of your outfit before you leave.”

Nico

Nico has never been so physically uncomfortable in his life.

For a man who plays contact sport for a living - has played it for a good chunk of his existence, and has suffered countless knocks and injuries, slept in one too many uncomfortable positions in planes, buses, trains and even hotel beds, and who’s face has had more than enough encounters with the wrong end of a pair of skates - that is saying a lot.

But every inch of him, every fibre of his entire being, feels irritated in some way.

It’s a feeling like unforeseen static shocks passing over every surface of his skin. Like little bugs crawling all over him and he can’t swat them away. Like random strands of fine hairs that can’t be seen by the naked eye but God, can he feel them. He feels them everywhere.

From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, he feels something prickling, stinging, burning. 

Itchy.

Like a scratch he can’t reach in the very middle of his back.

And it’s not like he doesn’t know what it is.

He’s felt it ever since he left Poppy’s apartment in the early hours of Thursday morning. He had hardly slept, getting maybe 3 or 4 hours in before his alarm shrilled from where it charged on his nightstand. 

He has tried to use the same coping mechanisms that get him through his bouts of homesickness - where he closes his eyes and tries to provoke a memory for each sense.

He pictures the views from one of his many hikes, endless fields of green grass, crystal clear lakes, winding footpaths and mountains that stretch as far as the eye can see. He imagines gathering around a fondue table back in his favourite restaurant, and can smell the freshly baked bread, can taste the melt-in-the-mouth flavour once it’s been dipped in oozing, melted cheese. He can feel the softness of the freshly washed sheets back in his childhood bedroom and can hear the chorused chirps of the birds outside his window in the early mornings. 

It’s a technique that has helped ground him in the past, and he had thought that maybe if he applies the same logic, it will dull the ache in his fingertips that yearn to reach for his phone and text the girl who has asked him for space.

If he thinks hard enough, he can still taste the sweet but subtle vanilla of Poppy’s lip balm. He can smell the fresh-cotton essence of her laundry detergent, can hear the melodic sounds she had hummed into his lips, can feel the softness of her skin on the pads of his fingers, can see, clear as day, the dazed expression etched into her features like she had gotten caught up in the fantasy too.

If it wasn’t so easy for him to mentally transport himself back, he wouldn’t have been able to make it 4 days without seeing her. 

He had known it would be hard, but, thankfully, he thinks he got himself enough of a fix to make it to Monday.

He’d taken all he could with just one press of his lips to hers, had taken more of Poppy than he had ever dared to take before, and his subconscious was clinging onto it for dear life, hoping with everything in him she could decide to give him more.

4 days.

He has never known time to be so cruel. For it to drag out every minute like it was an hour.

If his life had a remote control, best believe he would be jamming the hell out of the fast forward button. 4x speed, skip to the next chapter, not wanting or needing to know what happened in the in-between.

He’s always thought himself to have patience - good things come to those who wait, after all - but this had become the ultimate test.

He had tried to immerse himself in whatever was going on each day, hoping they would pass quicker, less painfully, but it had been no use.

His birthday had passed by in a dizzying blur. He’d had a late morning skate, had come home to his family waiting for him, had gone to dinner with them, caught up over Italian food in one of his favourite spots by his apartment, and had driven his parents, his sister and her boyfriend back to their hotel with the promise of dedicating some time to them before the game on Friday.

Every single thing had reminded him of her.

Being at the Rock and wondering where in the building she might be, and if she was reminded of him with the littlest things. If she was thinking about him, what she was thinking about him. Seeing his family, imagining her place at the table as they all exchanged laughter and stories over pasta and wine. Thinking about what she might contribute to the conversation, how she would get along with his sister, how they’d gang up on him and poke fun, but she’d hold his hand under the table and squeeze to let him know it was all in good humour.

In the locker room after the win against the Blackhawks, trying his best to get involved in the celebrations but just wanting to call her, to hear that she had watched, and was proud of him and the team. And even after the loss against the Canucks, he wanted to hear the same. He wanted to go straight to her place, the passenger seat of his car painfully empty as he drove himself home in complete silence. 

And he had tried his best not to get too into his head about the whole space thing.

Poppy was right, after all. Things had gotten intense.

He had been intense - marching over to her place and kissing her out of nowhere. As right as it had felt, it was stupid. It was hotheaded and impulsive and it wasn’t considerate of her feelings.

But, God, he was so caught up on her he couldn’t help himself. He should have seen in the days they had spent together prior that they needed to speak more about everything before he threw himself at her like a neanderthal. 

He’d only considered what conclusion he had reached, and as much as his conversation with the guys on the plane gave him an idea of Poppy’s mindset, some words needed to be exchanged before he planted one straight on her. The whole thing could have gone so much better if he just knew how to communicate everything with her properly.

Even before the kiss. Before New Years, before Talia, before Summer - if he knew how to speak about his developing feelings for her, this whole mess could have been avoided.

He wouldn’t be sat alone in a bar, yet again, as his friends surround him, partaking in the celebrations that are supposed to revolve around him, wallowing in self pity.

He wouldn’t be thinking about Poppy, out in some fancy restaurant somewhere else in the city, with some stick-up-his-ass loser who doesn’t deserve a second of her time, and imagining her giving him one of those earth shattering smiles - the one where her the outside of her eyes crinkle in the corners, and every time he sees it he imagines the lines settling there as she ages, and it’s always a version of the two of them, old and grey, side by side, smiling together.

He imagines her taking him back to her apartment, curling up with him on the couch Nico helped her haul up the stairs after she had found it for crazy cheap off of some sketchy ad on Facebook marketplace. He sees her slowly replacing all those pictures she has of her and Nico with pictures of her and him, phasing him out of her space like she would eventually phase him out of his life.

He thinks about her taking him to her bedroom - the one he had yet to see in her new apartment, but imagines it’s just like her old one; way too many pillows and throws, a thick, plush duvet that looks like she’s climbing into a cloud, and a beat up stuffed toy her grandmother had given her when she was young. 

He doesn’t want to wish that Poppy is currently welcoming someone into her life that doesn’t suit her, but he can’t help himself.

He hopes this guy is late - and doesn’t even apologise for it. He hopes he orders off the menu for her, or criticises her choice of wine for not pairing with her choice of food like a complete snob. He hopes he’s awful to wait-staff. He hopes he’s type of guy who writes a suggestion on the tip line of his receipt instead of leaving a minimum of 20%. He hopes he chews with his mouth open, spits when he talks and scrapes his knife along the ceramic of his plate as he cuts his food, causing that toe curling sound that makes Poppy want to scream.

He hopes he doesn’t offer her his jacket, because she always refuses to take one out. He hopes he doesn’t think to give her a piggy back, because she always wears shoes out she knows she doesn’t want to walk in, but always wants to walk home if it’s nice out. He hopes he walks on the inside of the sidewalk, leaving her to the dangers of walking roadside, and walks too quick for her to keep up with little regard for how she likes to take her time on a night and stretch the evening out. 

He even hopes he smokes. Poppy hates smokers. And if, God forbid, they kiss, he’ll have smoker’s breath, and she won’t want to do it again. 

She won’t stand in front of him, eyes glazed over, lashes fluttering, brows furrowing, lips still pouting and fingers twitching to reach back out, yearning for more.

She won’t even kiss him back.

Not like she had kissed Nico. Not like she had clutched at his shirt like she wanted to hold him close to her forever. He wouldn’t get to hear that sweet, subdued sound she had made when his tongue had swiped tentatively at hers, or feel that slight pressure of when her lips had closed around it, sucking almost at the muscle before opening back up to allow for more of a taste.

No one else can get that.

No one else will savour it like Nico has, thinking about is for days on end, replaying the moment over and over until he has perfect recall of every small detail.

It’s probably a good thing she hasn’t shared much detail about this date, Nico thinks as he swirls the ice around his empty drink, sat right at the bar away from the sectioned-off area that Timo had rented out for the party.

If he knew more about it - about the who, about the where - he probably would be in a cab by now, knowing he was crossing a line but unable to do anything about it, his will outweighing any common courtesy just as it had a few nights ago. Or he would have spent the last few days in a google deep-dive, trying to figure out the kind of man her mother would approve of. Enough to set her up, at least - he doubts Priscilla Jensen entirely approves of anyone.

Nico finally makes eye contact with the bartender, and as she starts to make her way over, he feels like a divine intervention occurs - an arm falling onto the bar top beside his, a glimmer of metal flashing into his dark eyes - the reflection bouncing from a bracelet that is welded around the base of a slender hand.

“I’ll take another of these,” he lifts his glass when the bartender arrives, gesturing to the old fashioned he’d somehow landed on over beer tonight, “And whatever she’s having, please.”

 “Vodka diet coke, please,” a voice rings out from beside him, and once the bartender busies herself with the order, she asks, “Shouldn’t I be the one getting you a drink? I heard it’s your birthday,”

“Why should either of us pay when it’s going on a tab?” He chuckles, angling his body better to face her. 

“Ooh la-la, a tab,” Nia mocks, “Now I feel like I’m a part of an elite club!”

“I find it hard to believe you’ve never had your drinks put on someone else’s tab before.”

“Not the New Jersey Devils captain himself, it’s such an honour!” She raises a manicured hand and presses it to her chest, a playful smile etched into her features. 

“Did you come over here just to poke fun at me?” Nico asks, touching on the dynamic that has long been between the two of them. She mocks him, mostly all bark and no bite, he takes it on the chest, knowing she’s doing it from of her warped version of almost sibling-like love, and Poppy usually acts as the mostly-unnecessary mediator, dividing her attention between them both. 

“Of course I did,” she affirms, “You looked all mopey and miserable, how could I not?”

“How is me waiting for a drink ‘mopey’?”

“Uh, let me think,” she taps her finger to her chin, before lifting it to point at each feature she references, “The huge pout on your lips, your giant caterpillar eyebrows all slanted and frowny-,”

“Forget I asked,” he mutters, lifting his lips into a quick smile and thanking the girl behind the bar as she brings them their drinks. “Didn’t know you’d be out tonight,”

“I’ll be sure to send you an e-vite to my google calendar when I get home later.”

Nico’s throat tightens slightly at how similar Nia and Poppy are - always quick with a response, most of the time sarcastic, most of the time able to elicit a genuine laugh to rumble from the depths of his chest. “I see why you and Poppy are so close.”

“Hm,” she hums, making a show of checking her phone, “You barely made it two minutes, but it could be a new record.”

“A new record?”

“For how long you can go in conversation without mentioning her.”

“She’s your best friend, the one person we have in common, it’s normal for me to bring her up, Nia.” He reaches for his drink to take a gulp, hoping the ice might make his throat feel a little better.

He doesn’t even know why he’s denying his lack of willpower when it comes to Poppy - 2 minutes actually seems like quite the achievement when he thinks about how long he’s restrained himself from reaching out over the past 4 days. Nia approaching him like this has been the perfect excuse to think about her - to talk about her without feeling like he’s overstepping or assuming.

He could use this to his advantage.

“Is she a good kisser?”

Or not.

He chokes on his drink, thankful the liquid isn’t coming out of his nose with how much he hadn’t been expecting that question.

“She looks like she would be. I’ve always thought about it but there’s never been a right time to try it out. Maybe I should take a leaf outta your book and lay it on thick and fast when she least expects it.”

How he even thought he could gain advantage in this conversation is beyond belief. He’s out of his depth with Nia, as usual. She isn’t afraid to call him out - she never has been - and she’s the one person in the world Poppy would confide in. Of course she knows about the kiss.

“Is that what she said, I laid it on thick and fast,”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, lover boy.” She chuckles, picking up her cocktail and stepping away from him, “Thanks for the drink, Nico, try to enjoy the rest of your birthday party.”

“Wait!” He reaches out to stop her, not wanting to let a golden opportunity slip from his hands so easily. “You would have bought me a drink before, for my birthday?”

“I think you earn about 5 times my annual salary in a month, so probably not.”

“How about you answer a question for me?” He proposes, “As a gift.”

“I could,” she sighs, sitting down in the stool beside him, “But I heard you get touchy after gifts.”

He immediately regrets asking, but not enough to let her go. He’s come this far, and he has 4 days worth of questions he desperately needs answers to.

“Funny,” he gives a condescending smile, which clearly pleases her as she gives a genuine one back, lifting her spare hand to gesture for him to carry on. As if it’s that easy to narrow down all the things he wants to ask her.

One question. 

What did she say about the kiss? Did she like it? Would she do it again?

What did she say about him? About how she feels? About what she wants?

Where is she right now? What did she tell Nia about the date? About the who?

“The guy she’s out with,” he can’t even bring himself to say the D word, “Is he nice?”

The look she gives him is almost pitiful. In fact, there is no almost about it. She clearly thinks he’s pathetic, but it’s too late to retract the question now that it’s out there.

“I don’t think so.”

He doesn’t like the way his stomach turns at her answer.

He had wanted this, right? For him to be a gratuity-withholding, uncouth slob with bad breath. 

But the thought of her being out with someone that has the potential to hurt her, hurts him. His chest feels tight, his head feels muddled, and that everlasting itch returns to the tips of his fingers - the weight of his cellphone becoming that much heavier in his back pocket.

“I mean,” she carries on with a shrug and reaches for her own phone, “He was a no-show, so we’ll never actually know for sure.” She swipes at her phone until she brings up her message thread with Poppy, turning up the brightness to show Nico the picture she had asked her to send earlier. 

It’s a selfie taken in the overly tall mirror she had once made him pick up from Ikea, claiming it wouldn’t fit in her car and his was much bigger, and he doesn’t know why his first instinct is to scan the background just to confirm his earlier intuitions about her bedroom. Too many pillows, cloud-like duvet. He can’t see the stuffed toy, but he assumes it’s somewhere in there.

Poppy looks unbelievable. 

Her dress is short, like the one she had worn on New Years, fits snug around her waist and emphasises her curves in all the best ways. Her legs seem to go on for miles, adorned in knee high boots no doubt to provide some semblance of warmth. Her hair is pulled back, and she wears gold jewellery - rings, some small hoop earrings, and he’s only just able to stop his fingers reaching out to pinch at the screen because he can see the gemstone bracelet without the need to zoom in.

“Can’t be that nice if you’re standing up a girl that gorgeous, huh?” Nia asks, suggestively, leaning her chin into the palm of her spare hand as she looks up at Nico. “Some guys just don’t know how good they’ve got it.”

He figures he actually should be embarrassed about the relief that floods through him - washes over his entire demeanour, expression changing from defeated to victorious in a matter of mere seconds.

The crease that seems to have permanently formed between his brows smooths out, posture corrects itself, and his lips even almost turn up into a smile.

There’s a childish, territorial voice within him that wants to exclaim, Thank God! But he’s grateful that he’s able to mute it.

And, despite being privy to Nia’s games - despite knowing exactly what trap he is being lured into, what he’s about to fall for - he can’t help but suggest, “You should tell her to come out.” Because, despite knowing he had taken the bait, he can’t find it within himself to care. “I think I asked her one too many times to ask again.”

The one thing he had twisted himself into knots over since first hearing her utter the word date, hadn’t actually come to fruition.

There is no date. There is no uncouth slob.

There is Poppy, dressed as pretty as she is, practically waiting for someone to show her a good time. 

He can do that. He wants to do it - to be the someone that’s good to her.

“Oh, should I?” Nia asks, a knowing smirk causing her lips to twitch mischievously. She’s been playing him this whole time, and once again, he doesn’t care. “I don’t know, she seems resigned to spending the evening on her couch watching New Girl,” she sighs dramatically, clearly looking for incentive - once again, reminding him too much of the girl he longs for. “I don’t know if there’s much convincing to be done.”

“I’ll add you to the tab for the night.”

Rookie mistake, offering something up so quick.

“Is that all my efforts are worth to you, Nico, a few measly drinks?”

“What do you want?”

“I’m actually out with a client tonight,” she looks back somewhere toward the other side of the bar, Nico can’t even bring himself to follow her gaze. “Been trying to sign them to my agency for a while, and if I can fix this deal, I’m up for a promotion.”

“Nia,” he warns, not liking how long this story is becoming. Forget good things come to those who wait. He’s waited long enough. “What do you want?”

“They’re big Devils fans, I think a night with the team could really open them up to the benefits of working with me.”

“Bring them into our section.”

“And maybe some tickets, too.”

“Fine.”

Nia gives him a triumphant smile, “Great, I’ll let them know.” She salutes him as she stands back up, gathering her drink and phone between the fingers of one hand before backing away. “Nice doing business with you, Captain.”

“Aren’t you gonna text her?”

“Oh, Nico,” she jeers, using her free hand to grasp him by the chin. “Dear, sweet, naive Nico,” she gives his head a subtle shake before patting at his shoulder condescendingly, “She’s already on her way.”

If anyone asks, Nico isn’t admitting to keeping an eye on the door since Nia had made her way back over to her side of the bar, but he knows as soon as Poppy has arrived. He watches her make her way over to her friend, watches the two of them embrace and talk between themselves for a good minute. He watches and waits until her eyes meet his from across the crowded room, and it’s like everything else stops.

He’d somehow managed to immerse himself in the party spirit since he had found out she was coming, fitting back into the group, toasting along with them, engaging in conversations with his teammates, his mood vastly improved in comparison to earlier in the night - of which he’s sure Timo is relieved after his short-lived exile from Nico’s good graces — but everything fades to black when he sees her lips curve upwards from afar.

Someone is talking beside him - hopefully not to him, he thinks, he doesn’t remember being mid-discussion with anyone - but it’s just drowned out mumbling right now, and all he can do is tilt his head toward the doors that lead to the bathrooms, and wait for her to respond. When she nods and separates herself from Nia, he excuses himself from the group, edging out of their section and following her path, losing her a little in the thick crowd of people - the bar still packed from where they had played the Giants game earlier.

When he gets through the doors, he’s thankful no one else is lingering back there - no rowdy queue for the bathroom, no staff, no one but him and the girl who seems to be holding his heart like a hot potato, not knowing the best way to carry it without getting burned.

“Hi.” It’s a weak starter for a heavy conversation, but if he’s honest with himself, she’s taken his breath away.

The picture from before hadn’t done her justice. She’s a little worn into her look for the evening now, hair not so neat, skin a little shiny, lipstick faded - but this is exactly how he likes her, especially when he takes in the way her eyes gleam and her cheeks puff out with her smile.

He makes a conscious effort not to let his eyes drift directly to the smile - to her lips, which even the thought of them elicits such a vivid memory.

“Surprise!” she sings quietly, arms outstretched and hands shaking theatrically.

He steps toward her with his hands behind his back, fingers clasped together until he’s confident that his knuckles turn white, fighting the urge to curl his arm around her waist and pull her into him, needing to be closer. He watches intently as her eyes flick down to where his hands should be.

She backs into the wall behind her, not to escape his approach, but more to prepare herself for it - like she’s settling in and embracing it.

She isn’t running. She isn’t pushing.

She’s waiting.

“I’ve missed you.” Nico wastes no time in telling her the truth - telling her what she’s refused to believe every other time he’s said it, but he can tell with the tilting of her head and the rounding of her eyes that understanding has settled within her. She has no comeback, no it’s only been a few days, and he thinks she must have felt the drag of them in the same way.

“I’ve missed you, too.” 

Whatever anxiety has rooted itself deep inside him for the past 4 days dissipates almost immediately. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you.” He admits, without shame or reluctance. After Poppy had helped him overcome whatever had been censoring him before, there is no point now in holding back or beating around the bush. “You look so good, Mohn.”

A rush of confidence allows for him to close the gap, standing right before her as she leans against the wall, neck craning ever so slightly to look up at him. He still won’t touch, hands laying against the stone at either side of her hips, not daring yet to let even a sliver of his finger graze at her flesh.

“You look good, too.” She breathes, eyes glancing down to do an appreciative once over of his outfit, and he doesn’t miss the glint of pride cross through her eyes when she catches the glimpse of the gold that peaks out from the neck of his sweatshirt. 

“I’m sorry about your date.”

“Are you?” Her lips twist into a knowing smile. It’s an example of one of her many traits that he loves - she can detect his bullshit a mile off.

“Mmhm,” he nods, “I’m sorry a world exists where any man is stupid enough to stand you up, Poppy.”

“I’m the stupid one,” she argues, and he misses her gaze as soon as she takes it away, eyes darting to the floor in embarrassment. “I should have listened to you and cancelled in the first place.”

“I was stupid to ask that.”

“Maybe we’re both stupid.”

“Definitely.” He probably shouldn’t be agreeing to her calling herself stupid, but it comes out before he can think too much on it. They’ve both wasted too much time. 

“Did you have a good birthday?” She asks, and a slight movement between them catches his eye, her fingers twisting together as if she’s withholding her touch, too.

“It’s better now.” He smiles fondly as she rolls her eyes. 

“How are your family?”

“They’re good.” He doesn’t want to go into too much detail about how shamefully miserable he has been over the past few days - doesn’t want to tell her how his mom had called him out on his lack of contribution to conversations, and he’d managed to pin it on the stress of the season. She still raises a brow at his insufficient answer, and he expands before she can tell him off. “Everyone but Luca made it out, my sister had to go back already for work, but my parents booked a trip to Halifax to visit the Phillips’, I lived with them when I played up there, they have a few friends to visit in Canada but they’ll drop back to see me again before they fly home.”

He feels the tickle of soft fingertips at the inside of his arm, slowly grazing down as he speaks, and as he watches Poppy, he thinks she must not realise she’s doing it - letting intuition take over as she’s distracted by the conversation. He lets her take the lead on initiating any touching, and it takes all the restraint he has left not to barge through the door she’s attempting to slowly eke open. She’s the only person in the world who could make him audibly hear the metaphorical creaking.

“Did they get to watch you win?”

He doesn’t even know why he finds himself grinning at the question, but the tone in which she asks it bears a hint of pride. She had watched the game on Friday.

“My dad was pretty much in the stands in full gear, everything but the pads and skates, and my mom was repping Foundation merch, she’s run off across the border with my beanie.” He likes the way her face lights up.

“I’ll get you another.” She raises her other hand to card her fingers through his hair, and, for once, he’s thankful not to be wearing any sort of hat. The soft scratch of her nails is soothing, and he just about manages to stop himself leaning into her touch and purring like a cat.

That would be embarrassing.

He feels outnumbered, both of her hands on him, and it feels unfair not to be touching her - so when his thumb extends itself on the wall just beside her hip and strokes at the soft fabric of her dress until it’s softly digging in, he watches intently for any hesitation before he lays a palm flat against her side.

It feels like things are progressing both torturously slow and overwhelmingly fast at the same time. His heart feels like it’s slamming into either side of his ribcage, and like nothing else occupies his chest, the sound of it echoing as if banging on the walls of a deep, empty cavern.

“Did I already tell you how much I missed you?” He honestly can’t remember, but he’ll tell her again if he needs to.

The hand that had run through his hair rests now on the side of his head, her thumb swiping softly at his cheek as she cups the side of his face, and before he can even make sense of what is happening, he’s being pulled forward. 

He bends to her advances with quick reflexes to avoid clashing, and their noses bump just before their lips meet.

Her chest rolls forward until it presses into his, and both his hands grab at her sides to pull her flush against him, legs tangling, hips pushing together, bodies touching everywhere possible all the way up to their mouths. 

He gives her all the control otherwise, allows her to determine the pace, responding to her every move and every touch with fervour and heat. She pulls at him, one hand grasping at his sweatshirt and the other cradling the side of his neck, and he quickly lifts one to stifle the blow to her head as she collides back with the wall, barely noticing the pain where his knuckles meet the stone.

Their tongues press together at the same time, and Nico doesn’t even realise his lack of patience got the better of him until their battle for dominance kicks off between their lips.

He can taste the same vanilla lip balm, can smell her signature coconut scent, can hear soft, subtle moans, can only see the back of his eyelids, not daring to open them, just wanting to feel. And he can feel everything. 

He feels the softness of her hair beneath the hand that is protecting her head from the discomfort of resting against the hard surface behind her, can feel the skirt of her dress bunching up in his grip, can feel her touch, fingertips dancing at the the base of his skull, thumb pressing into his jaw, her other hand making that same grabby gesture at the thick fabric covering his torso, squished between his heart and her chest, and he thinks he can feel the thump of her own heart on the other side.

He can feel her thigh pressed between his, the friction causing a heat to build deep in the pit of his stomach, swirling and whirling down, down, down until it culminates into the hard press of his hips into hers, and a rushed gasp combined with a guttural groan causes their lips to part.

They take deep breaths in unison, their chests bumping with every inhale, and he tries otherwise not to move.

He opens his eyes to find hers still closed, scrunched shut, even, and he tries not to be selfish - ignores the need to get a good look at her, to have this version of her ingrained to his memory too - and attempts to coax her back to him.

“Poppy,” he sounds just about as breathless as he feels. “Are you good?”

She hums in response, a subtle nod given, but he needs to hear her say it, and he tells her as much with a quick squeeze to her hip. Her eyes flutter open, gleaming and bright, framed by thick lashes and crinkling slightly at the outer corners as her lips turn up into a mischievous grin. “Better now.”

His chest feels like it’s about to burst open, like there’s a bear within him that is going to break out and pull her into its clutches, dragging her back safe to her home in his heart.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks, because he has to - he doesn’t care if it’s rude to leave his own birthday party, doesn’t care that he’s been the most ungrateful person in the world all night.

He’ll make it up to Timo, get him something big the next birthday of his that rolls around. Throw him a party. Or he’ll take care of the tab the next time they’re out. Maybe even let him have the window seat the next time they’re on the same plane home. 

Except, he won’t be doing any of that. He’ll be taking the reins on booking flights and putting Timo straight into economy, smack-bang in the middle of a row surrounded by a family of 5, screaming kids, arguing parents, the back of his seat being kicked the whole 8 hours to Zurich.

Because, just as Poppy’s swollen lips part to accept his advances - as her chin lifts, about to drop with a big affirmative nod, and he’s about to get everything he’s wanted the past 4 days and beyond - the doors to the back swing open, and his 6 foot teammate stumbles through, arms outstretched as he notices the two of them practically intertwined.

“Here you are!” He exclaims, voice booming in comparison to the soft breathy tones he and Poppy had been previously speaking in. “Poppy, you made it!”

“Hi Timo,” Nico feels her retreat, feels her legs brush past his and back to her own space, her hand on his chest now the only part of her that touches him, and he follows her lead, taking his hands back and trying not to clench his jaw or his fists as she converses with the man who was once his friend. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright, should be back on the ice in a couple weeks.” Timo had suffered an injury in one of their games at the back end of December, and hasn’t been fit to travel, and Nico finds an unspeakably bitter part of himself wishing it was something to do with Timo’s legs that were injured so he couldn’t have interrupted their moment. “Glad you’re here, this one has been miserable all night.”

He can’t be this oblivious, Nico thinks. Why is he still here? Why isn’t he retreating back to the bar and leaving the two of them to whatever he had clearly barged in on.

And when Nico looks back to his teammate, his long time friend, he sees the oh-so-evident glint of mischief and disobedience in his grey-blue eyes.

He is getting his own back.

Nico knows he was petulant to blame Timo for Poppy not being invited, knows there was nothing he could have done to change her going out on a date, or them not speaking for months while he was with Talia.

He doesn’t need him to enact his revenge to see he was wrong to ignore his texts, or to mope around at the party he had put so much effort into. 

He tries to give him a pleading look to stop whatever he is trying to do, but it’s no use.

“The guys will want to see you, Poppy, Jack’s beating himself up about his shoulder, could use a friendly face.”

“Oh,” Poppy casts a glance back to Nico, and he gives her a nod, implying that she go see to her friend. “I’ll go find him.” 

He can wait. He’s waited 4 days. He’s waited years, in fact.

And, after that kiss, he knows he won’t have to wait much longer. 

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” Nico mutters in their shared native language once he’s watched Poppy disappear through the doors to the bar, with a quick glance back and an apologetic smile before they closed. 

“Just saving my brooding captain from being arrested for public indecency,” Timo shrugs with a shit-eating grin as he passes Nico and heads toward the bathrooms further down the hall. “You’re welcome!” He calls back in English, raising his hands and giving a patronising thumbs up.

Nico runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face and wishing it was Poppy’s in its place.

It’s just an hour, maybe two, in the presence of his friends. Drinks, music, everyone in a good mood for the most part. It’s hardly like he’s walking out into a press conference after a 5 game losing streak and about to have all the blame placed upon his shoulders. 

It’s a party. 

Poppy’s here.

He can do this.

He can wait.

Next Chapter

taglist: @alwaysclassyeagle @bunbunbl0gs @idgaf-if-youre-here @youflowerr-youfeast @thearchersstuff @bellsdi0r @wonderheartz @jjgsunflower @butterflies35 @kenziepickle @josierosie @laheyxlover @mrsmattytkachuk (sorry if your tag hasn't worked btw or if I forgot you I'm a muppet tbh)

[tubbypeddle]

Hi again!! I loved the matchup thank youu!! Now I'm wondering though if you maybe have any headcanons for what the part 5 characters (Bucci Gang and/or La Squadra 🤭) would be like with an autistic s/o 👀?

Hi again!! and how cutteeeeee <33 I'm autistic myself, so honestly i'm just projecting here how i want them to treat me teehee

(author's notes: credits to gif owners, of course <3

Without further ado, hhehehehe

Bruno Bucciarati

He doesn't always understand why you do the things you do, but he always always makes an effort to be patient.

He'll eat the food you can't, he'll listen to you ramble and ramble and show genuine interest. He's basically the perfect partner.

Sometimes, when he's out running errands and finds something related to what you're hyperfixated on, he'll get it for you if he has the cash.

When he's making food for you, he's careful to make only food that you'll enjoy eating. Many chicken nugget and mac and cheese dinners.

He's a little firmer with you than he is with the rest of the team, when it comes to you getting hurt. It's because he worries more for you than he does about everyone else. Not only are you his partner, but he feels responsible for your safety. If something happens to you, it's because of him.

Leone Abbacchio

Honestly, he might make you feel a bit bad at first, but it's not on purpose. He doesn't know what autism is, or how to handle people who have it.

But he learns to. Because he feels bad when Bucciarati tells him that he made you feel awful.

So he goes out of his way to research how autistic people feel, why they act the way they do.

Because of his (kinda outdated) research, interactions with him might feel so so scripted. He means well, though.

When you're feeling overstimulated and like every little touch could set your bones on fire, he's happy to just sit in silence with you. As a silent reassurance that he's still here for you. Or even if you want space alone, he'll let you know that his door is unlocked for you, if you want to come to him later.

You're his favorite person, he wants you to know that he's here for you.

Giorno Giovanna

He's autistic himself, even if he doesn't know it.

So he understands you a lot better than everyone else will.

He lets you talk whenever he's available for you, and he often makes time for you in his schedule too. He does a great job making you feel special to him.

Often times, the two of you will sit in relative silence, just existing in each other's presence. But sometimes, when he feels especially jittery, the two of you will infodump on each other about your special interests. He just rambles on and on about the Mafia and what he plans to do with it, and then he'll listen to you ramble about whatever it is you're interested in.

He has a bad habit of eating foods that he doesn't like the texture of, leading to him shutting down or feeling gross afterwards. Mostly because in his childhood, it's either he ate what his house had or he starved, autism be fucked.

It's something you slowly nudge him out of, with much stubbornness on his end. Internalized ableism is so fun, huh. /s

Pannacotta Fugo

He definitely already knows he's autistic himself, so he often does things for you that he himself would enjoy happening to him.

He gets you gifts for your special interests, or he'll research your special interest so he can talk about them with you.

He's very anxious all the time, scared he might hurt you or do something to hurt your feelings. You might have to reassure him very often that you're not scared of him.

His favorite thing to do with you is read together. Like a little book club with just the two of you. Or even writing little essays about things you like so you can read his thoughts and analyses on them. Or drawing with you, even if he's really bad at it. Art composition was his worst subject when he was in school, after all.

He didn't have any hyperfixations before he met you. Which was a little boring for him, even if he spent most of his time trying to survive the mafia anyway. But after meeting you, you became his favorite person. And then you become his new hyperfixation, and you're all he can think about ever.

It's very infuriating for him sometimes. (in the good way)

Narancia Ghirga

Another case of "doesn't know he's autistic".

He's the loud kind of autistic. Socially unaware, but emotionally available to everyone. It's no surprise that he feels himself drawn to you.

He'll talk if you don't want to, he'll eat everything you don't want to (even if he doesn't like it). He just really wants you to like him.

He absolutely lets you indoctrinate him into your special interests. He likes whatever you like, and more! He might accidentally talk over you, just because he's so excited to finally have someone to talk about his interests with.

He means well, though.

Absolute cuddler, all the time. So if you're not that big on physical touch, he'll find another way to cuddle you. He'll put a big body pillow between the two of you and hug that instead, just so he can still be next to you and still hold onto something like that.

Never say that Narancia doesn't have his moments.

Guido Mista

He's very open-minded most of the time, so he handles you being autistic very well.

He handles all of you little "quirks", as he calls it, very well, too. His mentality is "if you don't like it, you don't like, and if you like it, great."

So if you don't want to eat something because of texture issues, that's fine, he'll take it. You don't want to hear something because it feels like glass on your skin, he'll turn on something else.

It really is that simple to him.

He just wants for you to be happy, and if anyone gives you trouble for something that you can't help, he'll shoot them. Easy as that.

[heizouwtff]

𝙠𝙖𝙯𝙪𝙝𝙖 𝙗𝙛 𝙝𝙘𝙨

𝘬𝘢𝘻𝘶𝘩𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘮'𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘶𝘱 !! (𝘪 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘻𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘬𝘢𝘻𝘶 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦.) 𝘢𝘯𝘸𝘺𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘤𝘴 ~

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⋆ kazuha is really clingy... i don't know why but i see him as someone who enjoys always being near his lover.

⋆ kazuha doesn't really get jealous easily - however, whenever he sees heizou flirting with you he can't help but want to pull you away! he never does anything like this though... he's afraid you'll be upset at him.

⋆ kazuha is not opposed to the idea of pda, as long as his lover is alright with it he really does not mind holding hands with you or giving you small little kisses in public.

⋆ kazuha is really protective of you - and even if you do know how to protect yourself the guy won't let a single harmful thing touch you. destroying every hillichurl that gets in yours and his way.

⋆ he loves when you read his poems to him, adding your own little comments as you go on with it. he just loves the feeling of resting his head on your lap as you read those cute little loves poems he wrote.

⋆ i feel like his love language would definitely be physical touch and words of affirmation. he simply cannot keep his hands off you - always feeling the need to hold hands with you... and along with that, he will constantly tell you he loves you.

⋆ since he was so busy with crux it was hard for him to make enough time for you - but finally, after lots of convincing, beidou let you onto the crux with your lover.

⋆ because you two are constantly out on the sea it's hard to have those cute little dates like all those other couples, but whenever you guys stop somewhere he always makes sure to take you out for a treat.

⋆ asides from having those big fancy dates... you two like to admire the sunsets together - this was much more convenient for your life out on the sea. and honestly, it was a whole lot better than stopping by some big-shot restaurant.

⋆ i think while you would watch the sunset together he would definitely try to use some cheesy pickup lines that beidou told him about.

𝘶𝘱𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘸 !!

⋆ kazuha is such a horny little guy sometimes... he can't help but want to do those dirty dirty things to you...

⋆ sometimes he would write poems about his undying lust... however, he kept them hidden because he was afraid you would judge him for those things.

⋆ eventually, you found these poems and just simply laughed at him.. not in a mean way or whatever but rather in a soft and loving way. kazuha still couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

⋆ since you two were out on the crux it was really risky... not like anyone would judge you two or anything - it was just it would be an endless embarrassment for the two of you. and beidou would definitely tease you guys.

⋆ kazuha didn't care though... he would lock you up in your room and immediately pin you to the bed.

⋆ i have a feeling he's a soft dom... however, he'll get a little rougher if you allow him to.

⋆ he likes to overstimulate you sometimes. like he'll be slamming his cock into your poor little hole while pinching your soft little nipples.

⋆ he also has a thing for calling you baby during these times like - "baby i'm close... ngh" DBIHDBWibocs

⋆ he also absolutely adores giving you small little bite marks... though he's not really that possessive he still likes to show people who you belong to.

⋆ definitely groans - and occasionally whimpers when he's cumming.

⋆ he can last for about 2-3 rounds... ya'll tried doing 4 once but he was exhausted, and so were you.

⋆ HE ALWAYS ASKS FOR CONSENT BTW !! LIKE AHOHIHQEWVJBFCDHCDVJS

⋆ aftercare with him usually just taking a shower or cuddling for a bit.... if you guys take a shower there's a 90% chance he'll fuck you there too ^^

⋆｡°✩

screaming this was my first time writing nsfw ahhhhh

[thefiery-phoenix]

Hi. English is not my first language so I'm sorry if I make grammatical mistakes. I read almost all of the marvel and viral hit series and had a lot of fun. The things you wrote are very nice. Could you please write yandere young seong hansu x reader? If you don't want to write, feel free to ignore it.

You know what, sure and thank you so much for liking my work, I really appreciate it

Hansu seong as a romantic yandere? It would be a blessing for you and a damn nightmare for the other people around you. We all know Hansu was the poster boy and the epitome of bad boy behavior, his son Taehun doesn't even match the rebellious things he used to do when he was younger. However he genuinely loves you and cares for you, too much rather to the point that he's willing to kill people for even looking at you for a second too long for his liking

Despite his stoic tough exterior he's a soft man at heart when it comes to you. He just wants to come home to you after a long day and melt into your gentle loving touch as he wraps his arms around you shielding you from the harsh realities and cruelty of the world. He's endured a lot and he'd rather burst a blood vessel than let you go through the same pain and burden as him. All he wants to do is just shower you with his love and affection keeping you safe from all those scumbags who dare to take advantage of you. He's had a lot of experience already so he's kind of justified with wanting to protect you and keep you safe, even if he has to wrap you up in silk and keep you all for himself that is

Hansu didn't undergo all that brutal and harsh training with his teacher for nothing you know. There's a reason even his friends Kim and Jincheol are a bit scared of him secretly, he's known to be a walking time bomb when he's enraged and coming from THOSE two, that's actually saying something. Alas, it's not like you'll be able to ask them for help either, they just want to see their dear friend happy with you and will do whatever the hell it takes to ensure that you remain with Hansu. So, congratulations, you also have two more soldiers with insane kill ratios and years and years of war history after you who're platonic yanderes for you now. Escape? From Hansu? Oh, you poor sweet innocent little one, how naive you are if you think you'll be able to escape from someone like Hansu. Clearly, you have no idea the extreme lengths he'll go through to get you back safely in his arms and when he does find you, he won't be too amused about the whole situation

Like I've said before, he values your safety and prioritizes it a lot. The idea of you being somewhere without him, your man, to protect you is enough to send him into a spiral of worry for you with his over protective tendencies skyrocketing through the roof even more if that's possible. He won't yell at you or anything nor will he ever hit you, he doesn't believe in hurting the one he loves. He'll just firmly tell you with a stern expression to never do such a thing again, it's like a parent scolding a child but don't worry, he'll shower you with lots of love and affection later on. He can't afford to be mad or angry at you at all, he loves you too much and before you know it, you'll be on his lap cuddling him while he wraps his around your waist possessively ensuring you'd never leave him. Oh, but don't think you're off the hook yet, he'll baby proof the whole house and lock the windows and doors and hide the key somewhere and there'll be a few secret cameras here and there without your knowledge of course, to keep an eye on you to make sure you're safe

I want to be sympathetic to the person who's trying to take you away from Hansu but honestly, they should just know better. If Hansu's icy cold glare isn't enough to send the other person running in the opposite direction screaming with fear, he'll have to get physical. We all know what happens when Hansu gets mad and gets physical, he's not above killing the other person like I've mentioned before. The only person he cares for and lives for is you, so if someone takes away the very reason he's alive, he feels like someone's ripping his heart out. You're his everything, his heart and his soul. No way he'd ever allow someone to lay their filthy hands on you, they better be praying to all the gods above and hope the fates are kind enough to ensure they won't get murdered or brutally attacked by a livid raging Hansu and wake up the next day in a hospital room. Actually, scratch that, they should be praying he even leaves them ALIVE in the first place

Of course, Sir Cho Pyunggyeon would know about you being Hansu's darling and he's amused that the stoic Taekwando obsessed boy who showed up at his bar years ago finally found someone for himself and honestly, he's impressed and amused. Oh, which reminds me, unless you want a whole freaking mafia group after you if you ever try leaving Hansu because Sir Cho will obviously come to his aid, don't try escaping Hansu. He just wants to love you that's all. Hansu would treat you like a precious fragile doll about to break at any second, he's so gentle and caring and kind towards you, you'll almost forget he literally kidnapped you

He can't bear to see you crying or scared or upset, you're his precious darling after all and seeing you in any kind of discomfort hurts his heart. He doesn't mean to be controlling and stern all the time but this one time he caught you reading a gory and dark and gruesome murder novel and his eyes narrowed at you as he demanded to know what you were reading. His jaw clenched as his fists clenched shut tightly that his knuckles became white. You could literally see his angry veins protruding and bursting from his fists however he forced a smile and gently took the book away from you as he tried to distract you with something else. Later on when you went to get back to the book, you found a pile of ash sitting where the book previously used to be there as you looked at Hansu in suspicion who just looked proud at what he'd done with no ounce of remorse or regret on his face. "Hansu...you're not supposed to burn books like this, they're an epitome of knowledge, it's wrong... and besides, I didn't even make it past the first chapter anyway and it was listed as a best seller" you pouted and looked at Hansu reproachfully. Hansu pulled you onto his lap as he looked at you with a love sick obsessive gleam of love glinting in his eyes as he gently caressed your cheeks and softly but firmly replied "This is for your own good my love... I will not have my sweet darling get corrupted by such dark and negative thoughts and acts like this. I don't want your innocent pure mind to be tainted by such dark material like this which will only make you sad and it hurts my heart to see you sad....'' as he kissed your lips softly and passionately

You're going to be babied and spoiled by him. He won't allow you to miss out on any meals and will ensure you follow a strict bedtime and sleep on time. With him, on the bed as you're in his arms, right where you belong. One stern look from him is enough to make you swallow down your protests. Oh, you won't be allowed to cook in the kitchen either, it's off limits for you since he's worried you'll hurt yourself but don't worry, Hansu can take good care of you and whip up some delicious meals for the two of you. Starving yourself isn't an option of course, he'd literally tie you down and make you sit on his lap and feed you and yes, he has done this before and isn't above doing this again, it's a matter of your health and well being after all

He knows you weren't too happy when he literally kidnapped you and you were angry and scared and honestly, he doesn't blame you for your feelings. He'd never hurt you or be mad at you whenever you screamed at him or just threw things at him demanding to be set free, he gets how you feel. However he loves you too much to let you go, he'd rather walk through hell than ever let you be in the arms of someone else other than him, your rightful husband. He knows and he's certain you'll love him one day just as much as he loves you, he's confident in it and when you finally do admit your feelings, he'll be over the moon with happiness and pure joy. He's such a soft man only for you though...you're his world and his heart, he'd do anything to keep you safe, you're HIS after all....

[3d-wifey]

What are those WIPs looking like? c'mon pleaseeee 😩😩😩😩give us a list. ur my favorite writer and I read everything I write, I wanna know what I have to look forward to (if you don't want to that's totally okay)

December Wip List

This took me a fucking minute 😭😭 please tell me if any of you wanna be tagged for any of the following.

In-progress series (original)

And They’d Find Us a Week (Hunger Games) - Finnick x implied black!Reader

↳ You run cold, you always have, it’s just another thing to love as far as Finnick is concerned. He himself emits heat like a furnace on the best of days. He remembers cold hands touching his heated skin, cold toes shocking the skin of his legs whenever you lay together. But now, now Finnick feels nothing but a hissing heat as your mouths press together. Heat like a hot knife cutting into a block of ice, like a blazing star consuming him in a ball of fire, only to sizzle into a warm embrace. He melts into you, trusting that you’ll sculpt him back together with your glacial grip.

Or

After everything you and Finnick have gone through together, it only makes sense that you’ve grown a little attached.

↳Status: Ongoing; posted

The Female of the species (The Boys) - Various/Homelander x black!supe!Reader

↳ “So what? I was grown in a lab like a, like a—fucking Chia Pet?” You can feel the air around you become charged, molecules flying by your ears at top speed. Ashley rushes to catch her papers that she stupidly left loose. “Calm yourself.” Edgar drones and his lack of reaction to you turning the room into a small cyclone only aggravates you further.

Or

Both a woman who’s used to getting whatever she wants and a man who’s never heard no, created in a lab. What a horrible pair you two will make. (basically ‘I can’t fix him. I can fuck him though, maybe that’ll help.’ Says woman that is worse.)

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

All On His Mouth Like Liquor (Succession) - black!Reader x Various [Shiv, Tom, Greg?, Kendall, Roman?, Menkin, Matsston, Stewy]

↳ "Mmm. You know, I've got a pretty cushy job in the White House lined up. I might be able to get you on my team." Jeryd places a hand on the counter next to your hip, leaning into your space, but you ignore him in favor of fixing your smeared lipstick. "I'm not looking to be anyone's Monica Lewinski."  “You think pretty highly of yourself." You pause and glance down at yourself. At the way your blouse is just on the right side of too tight. The way leaving the top two buttons undone gives anyone interested a glimpse of your necklace dipping between your cleavage. You turn to the side and look in the mirror at the way your skirt clings onto your ass and thighs, curves modestly on display. You look back at him with an eyebrow raised. "Point." He concedes, eyes still looking you over.

Or

As her assistant, it’s quite literally your job to be a Shiv defender.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Please Don’t Go (I’ll Eat You Whole) (Scream) - Yandere!Billy x Reader x Yandere!Stu

↳"Do you…find me…attractive?" He drawls, words drawn out like you're an exceptionally stupid child. And, honestly, you're starting to wonder if you're suffering from brain damage.  This is insane. Seriously, how many unhinged things can happen to one person in 48 hours? "I, uh, I mean,” you shrug, staring over his shoulder at your wall, "yeah. But, Billy, a lot of people do, which is what I was trying to say—" "There's a difference between people and you." He sits up, leaning towards you. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Billy, it's really not that big of a deal." You sigh, moving to get up—unwilling to let yourself be embarrassed. But he stops you, grabbing your hand, and you realize in a panic that he isn't going to let this go. "It is to me." He pulls you back on the bed closer than you were before, thighs brushing together. "What would have happened if I did?" You roll your eyes. Why are you humoring this? "Well, I might have had a girlfriend who didn't find me disgusting." “I don’t…I…” You shake your head in disbelief, breath catching in your chest before rushing out a weary sigh. “How the hell am I supposed to respond to that, Billy? Wh–what am I supposed to do with that?”

Or

When you love someone the way Billy and Stu love you, well, what’s a little manipulation between friends?

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Once More to See You (Bridgerton) - Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

↳ Anthony is not one for flowery musings. He isn’t a poet, nor does he spend his time admiring the arts or waxing poetics about beauty and such. No, he leaves that sort of thing to his brother. But as you peer up at him with expectant eyes, the lights of the chandeliers painting you in a soft yellow, he can understand why a war was waged over Helen of Troy.

Or

You’ve finally come home from France and you’re a woman grown—far too old to entertain the silly musings you had as a girl. You’ve been presented to higher society and your search for a suitable husband has just begun, but Anthony isn’t willing to be so easily forgotten.

↳ Status: Ongoing; posted

You Set My Soul Alight (House of the Dragon) - Yandere!Daemon Targaryen x Reader

↳ He presents the wreath to you and you have no choice but to take it. There is a pause before hesitant cheers erupt around you, building in confidence until the entire stadium is roaring. Prince Daemon is the champion and has crowned you the Queen of Love and Beauty, dedicating his victory to you—just like he said he wouldn’t.  He smirks up at you, his plan unfolding before your eyes.  It is the beginning of the end. 

Or

Perhaps it would have been easier on everyone if you had just told Daemon you were being betrothed before your father publically announced it.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

She’s My Collar (JJK) - Geto x Reader x Gojo

↳ Oh, you don’t hate them. Hate would require a level of acknowledgment that you don’t bestow upon the two boys. You’d have to notice them to hate them, you’d have to care and you’re indifferent at most. No, it’s much more simple than that. Gojo and Geto just aren’t on your radar.

Or

Being the first of your clan in centuries to join the world of Jujutsu sorcerers, specifically Tokyo Jujutsu Acadamy, is sure to make waves. And with a cursed technique like yours, it’s no wonder the Strongest have taken an interest in you. If only it was mutual.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Imagine Being Loved By Me (Star Wars) - Anakin x Reader x Obi-Wan 

↳"I can train her." All eyes look to Master Skywalker's hologram. He sits reclined in his chair—or what you presume is a chair—as if he's discussing the weather and not taking you on as an apprentice. "No." Windu turns him down immediately and you frown, just as against the idea as he is. You're sure many other Padawans would jump at the notion of being trained by Anakin Skywalker, but it's completely unnecessary. "In fact, you are the last person that should train her."

Or

As a Senior Padawan, nothing can keep you from doing your part in the war, not even the untimely death of your Master. Yoda asking Obi-Wan to take you under his tutelage is surprising. Almost as surprising as Anakin volunteering to do it himself. 

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

Limerence (The Sandman) - Morpheus x major arcana nightmare!Reader x Corinthian

↳ You watch as Adam and Eve run hand in hand, far from the Garden Of Eden. Steps hurried, frantic as if worried God would change his mind and bring them back—lock them away in that pretty cage again. But they are smiling. There's not an ounce of regret within either of them. You search and find that their only desire is to be free, together. Love is such a strange thing, you think from your spot between Dream and the Corinthian.

Or

If you and Corinthian are two stars orbiting each other, then Dream is the black hole that birthed you—drawing you both closer and closer while tearing you apart. One day, he will swallow you both whole, and you will say thank you.

↳ Status: Ongoing; not posted

In progress sequels

Show em Who I Belong to pt.2 - Dom!Johnny Cage

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You, Baby pt.2 - Manipulative/toxic!Erwin Smith

One-shots

Damon, Klaus, Elijah x reincarnated!Reader (TVD/TO) - 1989 is the worst year of your life simply because it's the year you met Damon and, consequently, the year you were reborn for the last time.  (might be a series)

Nick x Reader x Jacob (The Quarry) - A game of truth or dare has led to the last night of Summer going to complete and total shit. Having been bitten by some kind of beast and feeling like you're going to literally burst out of your skin, the only upside is being stuck between two hot guys who are desperately in love with you. It could be worse. At least you weren’t the only one bitten. 

Remus Lupin (Harry Potter) x Reader - You and Remus are quite competitive, always going head-to-head in your classes. It’s commonplace to compete for the highest marks. What isn’t commonplace, is the sabotage in the form of Remus’s wandering hands.  

Sirius Black (Harry Potter) x Hufflepuff!Reader - Sirius can’t help but feel like he’s the only person in the entire school that you hate. Probably because he is.

James Potter (Harry Potter) x Hufflepuff Quidditch captain!Reader - James Potter has been your sworn nemesis since your first year and now that you’re both captains of your respective teams, that rivalry has only grown. Now, if only Potter would get the memo.

Poly!Marauders x Reader (Harry Potter) - Honestly, in retrospect, you don’t know how you thought this would end without incredible irritation on your part. You thought the four of you had outgrown such childishness, that being the only reason you even invited them to the fundraising event. Had you known it would end like this, you would have declined the offer to volunteer altogether. 

Johnny Cage x Reader (MK1) - Johnny is too needy for you to wait until the awards show is over. Besides, he’s been so good for you, hasn’t he? Doesn’t that deserve positive reinforcement? You wouldn’t want him to act out, would you?

Himbo!Steve Harrington x bimbo!Reader (Stranger Things) - Steve was smarter than you, but only slightly. Not smart enough that he would ever hold it over you, but smart enough to know that the two of you shouldn't have been doing this in such a public place.

College loser!Mike x mean popular!Reader (FNAF) - “I promise I’ll be good, just…” “Use my thigh.” “What if I just leave you here, wet and needy.” “Clean my fingers, this is your mess.”

Manipulative proffessor!Erwin Smith x TA!Reader (AOT) - Erwin has a soft spot for you, his new TA.

Arthur Morgan x Photographer!Reader (RDR2) - "Sure." He takes a cursory look around at the towering trees before focusing his gaze back on you. His wide-brim hat shades eyes so blue that you’re certain the sky itself is teeming with envy.

Johnny Silverhand x Musician!Reader (Cyberpunk 2077) - It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to collaborate with Johnny Silverhand. If only he knew how to keep his mouth in check.

Luke, Han, Leia x Zeltron!Reader (Star Wars) - You’re not a Jedi. You don't know the Jedi code and you’re probably as Force sensitive as a particularly dedicated brick. Despite that, you’re pretty sure the Force isn’t supposed to be used like this.

Sebastian X Demon!Reader x Claude (Black Butler) - Your mistress is interested in doing business with Ciel Phantomhive. Who would have thought he had a demon on his payroll?  (might be a series)

NSFW Alphabets

Star (The Lost Boys) - Adding on to that poly Lost Boys Alphabet

Anakin

Obi-Wan

Negan

Damon Salvatore

Headcanons/drabbles

Earthrealm MK1 boys compete for Goddess!Reader’s attention

Paul (lost boys) eating you out while you’re both high

Dark/yandere Luke Skywalker NSFW headcanons

Yandere Targaryen men (Aegon i, Maegor, Aegon ii, Aemond, Daemon) x Reader - Being the pregnant wife of a close friend

Yandere Targaryen men x Reader - Finding out you’re being married off

More flirty intros (MK1 and MK11)

Dead By Daylight Killers x Obsession!Reader

Eren Jaeger with a breeding kink

Yandere/dark president Loki x Ironman variant!Reader

Possible ideas (I’ll take prompts on these/discuss these)

➔Astarion (BG3) x Reader : 

Smut for sure

Eat Your Young -  Astarion did try to stick to the plan, truly, he did. Some seduction here, a few implications there. It should have been enough to get him into your bedroll alongside your heart. It would have worked on quite literally anyone else, but you’re just so Gods damned oblivious! (might become a series)

➔John Snow (GOT) x Reader

➔Michael Myers x nurse!Reader (Halloween)

➔Veronica x Reader x JD (Heathers)

➔Sajanus Plinth x Capitol!Reader (Hunger Games) 

➔Poly!Lost Boys x Reader (The Lost Boys) - How you start dating

➔Bigby Wolf x fable!Reader (The Wolf Among Us)

➔Jerry Dandridge x black vampire!Reader (Fright Night) - You and Jerry have more in common than any of your other neighbors could possibly imagine. (might become a series)

➔Mischa x Reader (Ride the Cyclone) - You like to think you and Mischa are pretty close, you’d go as far as to call him your best friend. So why is it that you haven’t so much as seen a picture of this ‘Talia’?

➔Dennis Reynolds x Reader (IASIP) - Dennis is used to doing the chasing, so much so that he doesn’t even realize when he’s on the receiving end of his own system.

➔Will Graham x killer!Reader x Hannibal (Hannibal)

➔Rick Grimes x Reader (TWD)

➔Derek Hale x Reader (Teen Wolf)

➔Isaac Lahey x Reader (Teen Wolf)

➔Demon!Dean Winchester x Reader (Supernatural)

➔Castiel x angel!Reader (Supernatural)

➔Abed Nadir x Reader (Community)

➔Carlisle Cullen x Reader (Twilight)

➔Spike x Vampire!Reader (Buffy)

➔Kakashi x ex ambu!Reader x Tenzo (Naruto)

➔Sangwoo? X Horrible!Reader (Killing Stalking)

[davidmariottecomics]

It's Weird Being Between Two Jobs

Hi there and happy new year! 

Title kinda says it all in this week's blog, but the strangeness of this time in my life is really settling in. 

Just because of how things worked out with leaving IDW and starting the new job, I ended up with a little under a month of free time. And the first week and some change of that was the end of the year holiday season. But the past week has been me sort of watching from the outside as people started going back to work. I did finish up some additional new hire paperwork, but that took maybe an hour total and I'm still over a week from starting the new gig. It's an odd space to be in. I'm not working for anyone--I'm not getting a paycheck (and am currently sort of living this month off of my last IDW paycheck plus paid out time-off)--but I'm also not so far removed from a gig as to be strictly freelance. 

And to be totally honest, I don't know that I really like it. I am not great at having free time. I like the idea of free time. I like the idea of having time to write for myself or relax with my hobbies. But I am not great at the latter and the former betrays the fact that even with my free time, I'm often trying to switch into work mode. Heck, at the end of the day, my starting this blog and crossposting it as a newsletter/Tumblr/Patreon is all influenced by my not being good at not at least trying to be productive with my free time. 

If you're also someone who has been working from home and especially if you've been working from home freelance, I'm sure you know all the complications of the domestic and recreational life against your job and probably are familiar with how helpful routine and scheduling is with all that. Right now, I'm freeform. I don't want to just use my old habits--the advantage of time off is specifically that I can break a 9-5 M-F format--but I feel like I don't have enough time to start building new routines. So, it's been a challenging couple of weeks. I have not done nearly as much as I think I'd like to have at this point, but I also keep needing to remind myself that I have done a number of things that were on my to-do list and that it's okay to have time off for myself. 

As such, instead of a really specific blog on something of late, let me share a couple quick bits that've been on my mind. 

The Anti-EGOT I recently finished a big relisten of season 2 of Dungeons & Daddies and in the intro to the show of one episode, Anthony Burch introduced the idea of an Anti-EGOT. I think he retroactively changed it in a later episode, but the general idea was to be a writer in four of the least respected mediums and not win an award for any of it. I believe, in the initial mention, the idea was the four mediums of choice would be video games, comic books, podcasts, and pornography (with wrestling being retroactively either added or replacing one of these, but I don't think I'm much of one to write for wrestling). Honestly, that kinda sounds like a dream to me. As I was listening to this stuff in the run-up to the new year, there was a part of me thinking "is going for the Anti-EGOT my resolution"? And I ultimately decided, no. I don't think that's a good resolution, but it is sort of my stretch goal for the year. If I can write in all those fields, get paid for it, and not win any awards (or, y'know... do) in my lifetime, I'll be pretty stoked. 

What my actual goal for the year would be is I want to try to release 6 comics. Different lengths and varieties. I'm not currently anticipating having that be like a single mini-series or whatever, but I want to try to do more in comics with what I am producing. And if I can maybe branch out into one of those other areas this year, even if it doesn't have a release for another year or more, I'd be cool with that too. 

Steamboat Willie Last year, you may've read my four part explainer about copyright! One thing that is repeatedly touched on there is the public domain and what all that means. Obviously, this year, Steamboat Willie and two other Mickey Mouse shorts entered the public domain. And it's been really interesting to watch that play out a little. It seemed like--and I know it's only been a week--most everyone got it out of their systems within the first 2-3 days of the year. A lot of that probably goes to Steamboat Willie and those early shorts not actually being all that interesting (fun, but very story-light). A lot of it goes to so much of what people would want to do with "Steamboat Willie" is either already legal because it falls under parody, is not actually meant to be sellable in any way, or was knocked out in a day. A lot of it too probably goes to how unclear what counts as public domain remains. For a character like Mickey, people have been pointing out are you using elements that were added after 1928 or treading on issues of trademark that are not copyright and are not as available. I am very curious to watch how this continues to play out this year (if it does), how things develop next year, and in the next couple of years, watch how things fall in preparation for about a decade from now when more of the early Disney catalog will be public domain (including Snow White) and other major companies start having some of their big hits become PD (like, say, Superman). 

I'm also kinda bummed to have not seen any immediate announcements/releases of new comic versions of Lady Chatterly's Lover like there were of The Great Gatsby or anything. That's the other really interesting/wild thing about this year--to me, it seems like the majority of the fuss was around the Mouse and the things that've remained popular in part due to the mouse, Peter Pan and Tigger. I have not seen nearly enough talk about One Million Cats or any of the film or music. 

Post-Twitter

The other day, Diana Sousa was asking on Bluesky (and Twitter, I guess), if Twitter is still the major non-convention way that comics editors discover new talent. And I responded as someone who is NO LONGER ON TWITTER but who is still needing to have discoverability of comics artists. I said, part of it is I am on other socials. I see new folks on Bluesky or Instagram or whatever. I also keep an eye on various databases--you don't have to be on Twitter to have access to #VisibleWomen or the Cartoonist Cooperative database or Cartoonists of Color or the Queer Cartoonist Database or the Disabled Cartoonist Database or any of these many sorts of resources. Something I didn't mention there, but will mention here is when you've got a company email address, you've often got agents of various sorts emailing you about talent, internal talent databases and/or recruiter-type folks, sharing info with other editors (and, y'know, I've in the past shared talent who I didn't have a gig for with editor friends at other companies because I thought they'd be a good fit). 

As I've mentioned before, the lack of access to talent was why I did wait so long to delete my Twitter (and also wanting to make sure I had ways of keeping up with world events and following non-comics people). But, genuinely, I am not stressing over continuing to find new people now that I've been without it for a little bit and know I've got a system.  Check Yourself for Midjourney Training Hey, speaking of my explainer on copyright and the lengths of time therein I talk about how "AI" is a tool of theft and companies trying to avoid paying artists for the use of their copyrighted works, the lawsuit against Midjourney's resulted in a list of names of "artists" they've scraped. Now, I only put "artists" in quotes because the list was made by incompetent tech bros and/or their clueless lawyers, and so there are a number of writers listed who do not particularly do art but where you can extrapolate that the artists they work with were scraped as well as companies, systems, game platforms, etc. While I understand that of course lawsuits are expensive, I do know a number of artists have been reaching out to the lawfirm of the existing suit and seeking to join the case as plaintiffs. If you're a visual artist, probably worth the time to double-check and, if you can, do something about it. 

Okay, I think that's it for this week! See ya next time! 

What I enjoyed this week: Dungeons & Daddies (Podcast), Reverse 1999 (Video Game), Nancy (Comic), Yu-Gi-Oh: Duel Links (Video Game), Baldur's Gate III (Video Game), Blank Check (Podcast), Spy x Family (Manga), How to Read Nancy (Book), Hitman 2 (Video Game), Pokemon Conceirge (Cartoon), Ted Lasso (TV show, finally started season 3), Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (Movie--can you tell I'm in a D&D mood?), The Floor (TV show), my new discord (friends can ask for access!), sending out some feeler emails for new projects and getting to do at least a little bit of writing for myself.  

New Releases this week (1/3/2024): Sonic the Hedgehog #68 (Editor)

Announcements: The Cartoonist Cooperative is still doing E-Sim cards for Gaza and at least 500 people have shown their proof of donation. You can donate a digital sim card so that residents can get access to the internet and have more functional phones and, in exchange, get some comics or a drawing or whatever else is available from the many participating artists. 

You can also give more directly. Things are obviously still very bad in Gaza as we've hit 3 full months of them being under siege. Over 20,000 Palestinians have been killed, including plenty of women and children. Israel has killed more journalists than any single conflict in my lifetime. They are attacking not just Gaza and the West Bank, but other neighboring countries. I hope the Internatioal Court of Justice can help bring this to an end, but in the meantime, the US has significant influence over the situation (between internatioal political power and the weapons and money we're sending as both a nation and that are being sent my many corporations in the US). You can call or fax or email or show up at the offices of your representatives to demand a ceasefire or to protest their inaction so far or to throw eggs at the president for participating in and encouraging a genocide. You should keep aware of actions, demonstrations, protests, and celebrations in your community too. Given the nature of the things, they often come together fairly quickly, so do exercise your due diligence. Also, of course, being informed and just giving your time to Palestinian journalists and writers is incredibly valuable. I don't tend to be a big TikTok fan, but it has proven to be one of the most reliable resources for firsthand accounts of what's happening on the ground. 

Meanwhile, Becca's got their first show of the year next weekend, 1/13 at Alesmith for a mini-con with BizBaz! Come pick up some new for 2024 stuff! Also, they've still got a little room in their schedule for this year, so get them for your comic project before it's too late! 

Finally, calling out my Patreon again as well as my webstore (final stock on basically everything there except Jimmy Squarefoot), my Kofi, and my eBay account as I am between paychecks for a while and those are other ways you can support me! 

Pic of the Week: We went to one of our favorite local restaurants, Rakitori in Hillcrest. They had a spicy cheesy tonkatsu ramen and I'm not a food picture guy usually, but I did quite like this photo and I'm actually very fortunate we ate there at the tail end of 2023, otherwise I'd have already eaten the best meal of 2024. 

[femmmie]

i read your tags on the ianthony prompt post and saw a kindred spirit! if only i was any good at coming up with prompts, ive never tried before so everything i think of feels lame lol!

oh and your sitcom live post is driving me up a wall. IT COULD HAPPEN!! :D

-magnifythesun

@magnifythesun *ianthony style high-five* prompting is indeed hard!! I feel like the ones I give are often way too specific. The writer is like 'okay, so what do I even contribute to the story then!'

I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE SITCOM whatever happens honestly, but... it could happen!! Let's manifest it 🙏🙏

And I can't leave you without at least a few lines of ianthony!!

Anthony lay on his back, on the floor of his apartment. He was high out of his mind.

He just finished painting his latest piece, hued bright blue and earthy red, and black. As is true for all art, people could interpret it however they wanted. But he did paint it with something in mind.

Back in 2006 him and Ian would often beat and kick each other for fun, or to release some frustration when they were bored in Anthony's room. It was just playing, but Anthony would always try to initiate it. He hadn't realized why at the time.

"I shouldn't get up," Anthony giggled to himself.

He got up slowly and walked up to his smudgy mirror. He didn't know how it had gotten that way.

He saw a thirty-six year old man in the mirror. Graying beard, dyed hair. He wore nothing but some comfortable shorts.

But Anthony also saw a story. And only in the last few years had he realized that he needed to write this story.

The bruises he'd get from play-fighting with Ian told the story, but they'd fade after time. Being red, then blue, then black.

Those bruises proved that Ian had actually touched him. Physically of course, but also spiritually.

Anthony's mind could go to dark places. He tried to distract himself by over-working, but the only one with whom he could actually forget about the bad stuff, was that annoyingly pretty, annoyingly hilarious dirty-blonde friend of his.

A wave of past pain and guilt swelled up in Anthony's chest. How him and Ian had drifted apart, of all his resentment and moments he really needed his friend but they didn't talk.

But he'd learn how to deal with those memories, even when high. He slowly inhaled and exhaled. And then he smiled and snorted. Just the thought of Ian had that power.

The man in his mirror had written his story, a story about pain, love and friendship, on his own body. And it would never fade.

And he would never try to forget about Ian again. In fact, Ian was coming over in an hour or two. No business, just fun.

He'd probably still try to play-fight him, but not for the bruises. He just loved it when Ian touched him.

Made him feel alive.

[tricksterringmaster]

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

(Severus)

Oh, well! I will preface it with a disclaimer: it's all my personal feelings about his portrayals in fics, and I actually think that anyone can write anything and I will never say anything bad to any fanfic writer's face, it's all a big sandbox and we play in it as we like, we just like different tools to build sand castles. And we also all have different readings of the same characters which just can't work as one characterisation, and it's all fine.

I also don't read specifically anti-Snape fics, I'm sure there is a lot to say about his portrayals there, but it's probably less nuanced and interesting.

Okay, let's dive into it 😅

What I like:

When people explore his relationships with his parents. Especially when it's not "mom good, dad bad" way. I honestly think that if his mom was SUCH a good person and such a good mom to him then Snape would have at least two moral compasses in his life, not just a friend he had until high school. So it's very cool when people work on their good and bad sides.

When people overall explore his relationship with being half a muggle. When it's not a full acceptance, but not full rejection either, when there is a thought under every "pick and choose" thing .

When people explore his innovator side. I love little genius Snape, and, tbh, I really love stories where he overcomes his hatred to anything muggle and uses their knowledge to make his creations (whatever they are) better.

When people explore his relationship with Lily. I especially love them as actually good friends who have fun together. Feral children of Cokeworth is the best headcanon.

When people explore his relationship with intimacy in more ways than just "touch-starved and needy". I personally see him being quite uninterested in relationships, so to make him interested you need to court him like these bright-coloured birds do and for a while, lol. And I really love when it's a long and frustrating process for the person who wants to be with him.

What I don't like:

BAMF!Severus and helplessvictim!Severus. I get the idea of wanting to explore his talents or wanting to show him in a more obviously sympathy-eliciting way, but for me it doesn't do him justice. Especially because quite often Severus becomes BAMF because everyone around him is shown to be stupid and incompetent, and he becomes the helpless victim because the cruelty of villains (and even non-villains) of his life gets up to eleven with any nuance destroyed in process.

When Severus gets 100% of emotional intellect and talks about his feelings in therapy-speak. Just. Huh. He wouldn't fucking say that.

When all the assholeness of him is erased. Let this man make fun of children and be a prick, he deserves some fun in life, even if it's not a good coping mechanism.

When people make Slytherin one big happy family and Severus' close friends. I think it really erases all the drama of the story with Lily. Like, why don't you "I'd better be dead" over Mulciber if they all were so good to you and cared about you so much.

When he just randomly forgives people without proper closure, like "well, it's been years, we all can't just be miserable, let's be friends" but in other words. He wouldn't fucking say that.

When people make him into some kind of alpha sex god. I just don't see it at all, sorry 😭.

I probably forgot something, we have what we have here 😅

[halfmoth-halfman]

You should respond to reblog comments more tbh. People are taking the time to reblog your stuff, and tell you how much they enjoyed it and not answering is kinda rude. I love your fics, and you seem nice and all, but I’ve seen your notes recently— they’re nowhere near what they used to be and you don’t get anywhere near as much interaction as other CoD writers. It’d probably help your blog a lot! Just some advice, but maybe think about it! 😘💖

this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days cause i've been debating about whether or not i want to answer this, but i'm 98% sure you're the same anon who's sent me a few other messages since they all use the same kiss emoji and are riddled with the same backhanded bullshit you're spewing here, and you've succeeded in annoying me so here's your answer before you get blocked. 😘

i do this for fun. writing is not my bread and butter, it's not how i make my money, it's not how i support myself. it is a hobby. i use some of my free time to write and post fics for my own enjoyment above all else. i don't give a fuck about how many notes, or likes, or reblogs i do or don't get. is it nice to see them and see comments from people who enjoy my stuff? absolutely. i'm incredibly thankful for anyone who takes time out of their day to read one of my fics and even more so for people who go out of their way to interact with me and my work, but i'm not going to worry myself over numbers, because that's not why i write.

also, i've been in fandom spaces for a long time and, i hate to break it to you, but more often than not fandoms tend to slow down and die after the initial hype. i posted my first CoD fic like a week or two after the game came out when it was blowing up all over social media, of course it got an unusually high amount of notes that were, honestly, a little bit overwhelming at the time. now it's been some time, and the hype for the game has died down, so people are moving on to different shows/games/etc. which means interaction is gonna slow down. it happens, and i don't intend to sit and worry over how many asks or reblogs or whatever i get compared to other blogs. that's not fair to me, the other authors, or the people interacting. i'm happy with where my blog is at, and the amount of interaction i get.

i've said this a few times already, but i work a full-time job and have other obligations outside of tumblr. i don't have a lot of free time, and have to plan ahead how i want to spend it. i try my best to respond to replies, to answer asks, and everything else when i can, but i am an adult with adult responsibilities and just don't have time to keep up with every single like and reblog i get. that doesn't mean i'm purposely ignoring anyone, or that i'm ungrateful, i just simply don't have the time to keep up with every single notification i get. if i had more time in the day, then i'd probably respond more and be more active here in general, but i don't.

i greatly appreciate every single follower i have, every person who likes, reblogs, comments, replies, sends asks, etc. while i write for myself, it's always nice seeing other people enjoying my work, i won't pretend that it isn't. it absolutely blows me away the amount of people who like my writing enough to tell me. i'm always open to people sending me stuff, and try to respond as best i can, but i feel it's unfair (and not just to me, but to other writers and creators in general) to call me rude for not responding how you think i should. and i think it's even more rude for you to come into my inbox (on anon of all things) to spam me with messages about how you think i should run my blog with condescending and backhanded asks that you want to pretend is friendly advice.

i think it would be good for you to take some time and step away from tumblr and go outside, touch some grass, climb a tree, eat some dirt, or interact with real people, and maybe try to realize that, outside of this blog, i am a person too and one who really doesn't need to deal with this shit.

Just some advice, but maybe think about it! 😘💖

[jakethesequel]

I really thought the end of the Krakoan Era of X-Books would cause a significant downturn in how many Marvel comics I keep up with weekly, but they've just got so many great writers on the payroll right now! Like, I've cut out all the X-Books except X-Men proper (which I'm only reading because of my longtime crush on Magik) after keeping up with everything during Krakoa, so you'd expect I'd be taking my Marvel more slowly, but just look at the lineup:

My man Jonathan Hickman killing it on Ultimate Spider-Man (honestly doing it better than 616 Spidey) plus apparently an upcoming Wolverine mini, and joined by rising star Deniz Camp on Ultimates doing real interesting stuff with Marvel hero archetypes (the recent issue touching on nuclear testing fallout in Polynesia reminding me of his incredible comic 20th Century Men, which is probably better than any Marvel comic mentioned here, go read it right now!) for a real dream team;

The always impressive Al Ewing keeping Venom's energy high following up a massive crossover event (a tall task), while also crafting a landmark run in Immortal Thor just like he did for Immortal Hulk previously;

Jed MacKay with the unenviable job of writing both X-Men AND Avengers after finishing his recent run on Doctor Strange, but despite those heavy hitter titles his standout work has been his several-year-run on Moon Knight (and spinoffs Vengeance of the [MK], Phases of the [MK]) which I think is going to be remembered as one of the character's better runs (despite it having to handle the leftovers of the controversial Age of Khonshu);

Garth Ennis (who can be very hit or very miss for me) back in his element on the Get Fury mini despite the success of The Boys' TV show, a MAX universe Vietnam war story with Nick Fury and Frank Castle, exactly the kind of thing you want Ennis writing (he's even so far avoided his unfortunate habit of transmisogynistic humour);

And certainly not least, Ryan North (of tumblr @ryannorth fame) on Fantastic Four, easily the best work on the title since Hickman's defining run in the lead-up to Secret Wars (2015), calling back to the weird-science-fiction-family-adventure vibes of the original run by Jack Kirby (...and Stan Lee, whatever...), and the only series on this list I actually went out and bought a floppy for instead of reading digitally (issue #7/LGY700, because I love Dr. Doom and North fucking nailed depicting his character, which is a trickier task than people expect), PLUS: the first two years/24 issues of this run has beautiful cover art by industry legend Alex Ross, what more can you need from a comic book!‽?

DC's got some good stuff coming out too (Zdarsky Batman, Spurrier Flash & Hellblazer, Russel/Allred Batman: Dark Age, personal fav JT4's Nice House by the Sea, and I always love Action/Superman), but the Marvel bullpen is just in top fuckin' gear recently.

[raw-law]

What a captivating sensation to be held so high by such brilliant men, I couldn't quite describe it even if I tried to and I don't often lack of words to choose from so just know you two have deeply touched me as well. There is a certain distance people like to keep when something is even slightly intimidating to them, for example in the form of pure honesty, confidence and strong mindedness. All of which represent my most valuable traits in my opinion, so I greatly appreciate and thank you for your.. alluring praise. Yes. Certainly. I suppose humans are like this because they fear what they don't know and envy what they don't have, the classic example of a species made to have things fit their way instead of finding a way to fit with others. This just makes my appreciation bigger. I mean, you know it's serious when Ryuzaki starts swearing, right? Haha I would like to establish that I do not particularly care for "socially right" so be unafraid when it comes to expressing yourself, Ryuzaki. I just.. Wish for you to indulge in it. Don't limit yourself to society's expectations of how to accept a compliment. Really, the only shame here is that you have not received them more often throughout your life. Light, I assure you there is no need to apologize for the little wait. In fact, I'm honored you two chose quality over quantity haha

(No pressure for future asks, reply when you can and want to! Please.)

I dearly hope you didn't worry too much about.. Your words or reaction being a suitable match to what I have told you, because really, I do not send these for praise or recognition, even though it's a nice side effect. (And it's a real story, believe it or not) The fact that I have managed to get you to understand where I am coming from and where my point stands.. What a blessing, especially after being criticized by me haha although maybe now you can understand my initial complaint of shallowness. I have expanded my explanations because I knew you are capable of understanding and you boys did not disappoint. Nothing inadequate about it, Light. It's a pleasure. Enough about moi!! I want to come back to you. First off, since we can all agree that my experience equals my knowledge, I think I'm safe to end the "who tops in Lawlight?" debate. Because really, if Eroticism anon can't tell, then who could, ever? :p After analyzing your responses so far I can confirm there is no traditional "top". You're both sword and shield depending on the situation and you both challenge each other in a multi faceted way, resulting to.. Switching. That's my final conclusion. Anyhow.. Ahem, coming back to more serious topics. After this lovely conversation so far, I'm dying to ask you something. Tell me, Ryuzaki, Light, do you like literature? Do you have favorite works, if so? I write erotica/horror erotica (what a surprise, wow) so I'm always interested to find out what other people read, if they do. No worries, once I reveal myself you boys may bombard me with whatever questions and statements you feel like regarding the whole eroticism subject.

- 🩶

Light:

Thanks for understanding about the wait...and I'm glad you enjoyed both our responses!

And of course it's a real story, I never doubted that. There are some things that you can't fake the authenticity of, no matter how hard you try...and your story is certainly one of them. Don't worry about the criticism---it's helped to widen my viewpoint, so I definitely appreciate you pointing the shallowness of my answer out. Feel free to call me out in future, no worries.

Anyways, I suppose I do agree with your statement about the 'who is top' argument....I think someone did ask this question a while back, and Ryuzaki's and my answers were similar in respect to yours.

And thank you for asking that question! Yes, I do love literature---in fact, it's probably my favourite subject in school, and one of my hobbies when I get bored. Honestly, I'll read just about anything. I'll just include some of the books I've enjoyed/plan to read for a few genres, then, though I'm not going into too much detail because of the length:

Philosophy:

The Stranger (Camus), The Prince (Machiavelli [though this reads politically]), Beyond Good And Evil (Nietzsche, want to read)

Non-fiction:

Too Big To Jail (Garrett, about coporate law enforcement), Why Politics Fails (Ansell, mentioned in a previous post of mine), Heart (Barrett, on heart health), The Power of Geography (Marshall)

Short stories:

Binge (Coupland), Someone Who Will Love You in All Your Damaged Glory (Bob-Waksberg, previously mentioned), Cursed Bunny (Bora Chung)

That's it for now. I could go on and on, but I think it's a little overwhelming for one day...thanks for the ask, though. I rather enjoy sharing my book taste with other people.

L:

well. in my defense, when words fail (which they often do), swearing is the next best option. and i'll keep in mind this uh. "indulging" bit. it'll.. take getting used to, but i won't say no. so.. thank you. it means more than i'm able to express, hah.

but i agree with light. there are some stories in this world that are too beautiful to make up. and i'm also glad that you criticized our initial shallowness. don't hesitate to do it again, since i'm sure there's still a lot i don't know in this realm of intellect.

and in regards to the top argument.... i'll accept that as the final answer.. ... light-kun would like taking it up the ass more though. he's kira if he says he doesn't.

for the actual question though,, my relationship with literature is very... hate-love-ish?

i like literature, but frankly i despise the general act of reading. anything longer than a few pages feels like hell to sit through. having to sit there and focus all my attention on scanning through words without being able to multitask is just.... euck. and i don't say that to drag anything down, because i do heavily enjoy literature, and art in general. it's just a personal thing really. i'm not happy about it either. i like being immersed in stories. i like drowning in pages of knowledge.. but i just can't stand all the words after a while. it's why i attach to video essays more, or audiobooks. anything that can give me the same/around the same amount of closure that a book can while allowing me to multitask is something i'll latch onto. it's just more efficient for the way my mind functions.

anyways, ignoring the fact that i just said i hate reading (i swear i still have redeeming qualities that can make up for it. maybe. hopefully.), i do still have works i really like. .. though, admittedly, they're a lot less sophisticated than light's recommendations. i would explain why but i think it'll explain itself fairly quickly:

Dork Diaries, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, That's Debatable, and this one book i have that's just a collection of historical US documents (it's name is legitimately just The U.S. Constitution and Other Writings).

and.. that's all i have.

thank you again for the ask and response. i'll just hope i still have a reputation after this.

[sky-kenobye]

✨✨✨✨🫱Care to share🫲✨✨✨✨

The message was sent to you because someone loved your writing and stories. ❤️

▪️What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

▪️How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

▪️What do you do when you have writer's block?

▪️How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

▪️Any messages for your readers or fellow writers?

You are welcome to answer if you have the time and desire, or you can simply respond to the questions that come to mind.

💐Thank you for your work as a writer and as a member of this fandom!💐

Awww 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you so much, this ask really made my day <3<3

■ My writing suggestion for newcomers is: go for it. If you want to write something, do it, there'll always be someone that is happy your fic exists. That might be hypocritical to say since i have a hard time applying this to myself, but I don't believe there's any idea too weird or silly or niche to be written.

Also don't be scared to reach out to other writers, people are lovely around here <3

■ How do I write different perspectives? Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, I just write and try to make it sound like the character I'm writing. Usually I end up with something that keep shifting perspectives every two sentences so then I have to go back and change it to make it less inconsistent.

■ I've never really thought of myself as having writer's block because not writing is my default state, and sometimes i get into a weird zone and suddenly write a fic. So I guess the answer is that I just don't write? I have tried to write at moments when nothing would come out and I usually end up closing my laptop and not touch my fic for a while until the next time i feel the urge to write.

■ To come up with new ideas i just daydream constantly. I get things from everywhere: fics, books, movies, tumblr posts, what happens in my life... and sometimes one thing will stick for whatever reason and I'll develop a whole scenario around that. Unfortunately it rarely makes it into writing before my brain latches on another idea and I get a brand new daydreaming scenario. Some of them do come back though so there's a possibility they'll see the light of day.

The stuff I actually write so far has mostly been me projecting my feelings into fics I guess. Almost all of my published fics (in all fandoms) have something to do with aromanticism and/or asexuality (not in my qpr fic (yet?) but the fact that it's a qpr is very aro of me lol).

And to develop those ideas more, if I have managed to write it down I just keep re-reading it and adding stuff whenever I get an new idea. I'm really mostly just winging it x)

■ To my readers and fellow writers: I love you guys <3<3 I'm far from being the most active member of the fandom but you're all so encouraging and kind, I wouldn't be even half as invested in writing whatever I write (when I manage to do it) if it wasn't for you, and it would be much less fun to be part of this fandom. You're making me feel part of a community and that means so much to me 💙

Thanks again for the ask!

[clare-with-no-i]

read chap 3-13 of theogeny this morning since i was free until 2pm (wanted to wait until it was complete before starting, and did 1-2 last night since i had some time). very nice story! the tone and style of your writing feels totally professional (and honestly surpasses many published authors i’ve read LOL). however, i was especially blown away by all of the historical details about ancient athens & greece. i’m as close to the opposite of an expert on the time period as possible, thus am not fully convinced this isn’t based on a true story where you got sent back in time, but then chose to come back to the present afterwards. were there any sources you leaned particularly heavily on? even my own experience writing a gen-ed history paper about the original Olympic games during my undergrad felt about as straightforward as navigating a swamp of hopelessly entangled, greek-speaking, arguing jellyfish, what with all the completely speculative secondary sources and glaring holes in the firsthand accounts of the events.

i’ve been away from the depths of the hp fandom scene for a year or two, but my recollection of your blog was that you’re a law student? given that law ≠ classical greek history (as far as i know), i’d say the fact that you specifically researched all of this for the story makes it even more captivating. (although the attention to detail does also align exactly with the depth of case-research i’d assume is possessed by the top-tier, most competent lawyers, though that is purely speculation). but if your real answer is the time travel thing, just blink twice and cite wikipedia or whatever ;)

also, i’m curious how realistic it is for a classics scholar to know enough ancient greek that she can carry even a stilted conversation with native speakers. if so, i find it mind-blowing that such depth of knowledge of a dead language is wrapped up into a subset of a history PhD—makes my own discipline seem like 3rd grade times tables.

LOL thank you so much! this is such a wonderful, detailed review! I can safely say that I have not traveled back to ancient Athens, but if there's any way I can visit for about a day and then return to the modern era please LMK…

so: I tended to use a lot of sources from Google Scholar, JStor, my own university's online library, what have you; there are a few times I went back and read through my old Classical Civilizations lecture notes, but I only ever took an intro class so I wasn't exactly delving into the minutiae. many of the sources are listed in the end notes, but I have an entire bookmarks folder (which I should probably delete) that looks like this lol

of course, I had to suspend my disbelief and expect/hope the reader would suspend their disbelief at the things that I just couldn't really know; but that was my moment for artistic liberty, which I used a lot of let me tell you.

and yes! I'm a second year law student. but I started this story when I was still applying to law schools :") I have worked as an archival and online research assistant/hired researcher/research fellow since I was 19 in my undergrad days, so I've become very familiar with the process of sifting through online archives. I also just really enjoy it! I love learning about areas of history I don't know a lot about, so this was just such a perfect passion project.

so — in terms of speaking Ancient Greek, I think it's absolutely possible that students at the PhD level would be able to communicate, given that many programs have really robust Greek language curricula. however, and this is something I touched on in the early chapters and something I researched to the best of my ability, the way that academic accents from non-Greek native speakers (aka, modern Greek people) sound is very different in pronunciation and would likely sound strange and unnatural to someone in Ancient Greece; such is the nature of language development. so, I think would have been pretty much like any non-fluent language speaker being thrown into an immersive program with no preparation.

I'm not here for any discipline ribbing, though! I'm sure whatever it is you study is just as challenging and engaging as Lily's field :)

[minevn]

Fluff alphabet- Minato

(I'm gonna do the fluff alphabets before any of the nsfw ones :3 I'll probably post these alphabets as extras while I wait for asks)

a = affection (how affectionate are they?)

Minato doesn't have any romantic relationship experience and I think Minato would be generally touch starved At least in the beginning of the relationship he'd be really awkward when it comes to affection but I think he'd open up more with time. Not super affectionate though, not physically anyways.

b = beginning (what was the beginning of your relationship like?)

Once again, super awkward. He has no experience so he has no clue what to do. He'd probably try to look up things couples do, maybe ask his grandparents for advice as a last resort because he can't handle the teasing he gets from them.

c = cuddles (do they enjoy cuddling? how would they cuddle?)

He does enjoy cuddling! He doesn't care about who's the big spoon or not but he really enjoys holding onto you because it makes him feel like he can protect you more easily. Although he likes the warm feeling and the butterflies swarming in his stomach that being held gives him.

d = domestic (what’s domestic life with them like? do they plan on settling down?)

He's had to take care of his parents and his grandparents for as long as he can remember, he just considers taking care of others to be his thing, he enjoys it y'know? He wakes up early to cook breakfast, has a calendar he marks every night, a planner where he writes down everything, has a schedule he goes by, he's very organized and healthy and he'll use that to take care of you. Encourages you to go to sleep early, eat three meals a day, do some excise like going out on walks, if you take medicine he's reminding you to take it. He makes a schedule for you as well and puts you in his, you're a huge part of his life. He would love to settle down with you but he's down to do whatever you want to, as long as you two are together, he's overjoyed.

e = ending (if you were to break up, how would it go?)

I know I've said it before and I will continue to say it, Minato is the least yandere out of everyone else. He'll respect your decision, he just hopes that you two can still be friends, he doesn't want to lose you entirely. If he were to lose you entirely I think that's when the yandere tendencies really show. Ever since the beginning of your relationship he's always checked up on you to make sure you were okay, after you cut him out of your life completely he still checks up on you often but now it's more so in the shadows. He probably does it even more since he can't outright be by your side to protect you.

f = favorite (what’s their favorite thing to do with you?)

Despite the constant embarrassing remarks his grandparents make about you two, he really loves when you come over and hang out with him and his grandparents. It's his favorite people all in the same room together, you feel like a major part of the family. He wants the most important people in his life to get along so he loves it when you come over and everyone is talking and playing games and eating dinner together, he adores those moments.

g = gentle (how gentle are they, psychically, and emotionally?)

EXTREMELY gentle! He knows his height and appearance can be intimidating so he's really gentle to try and help make people not afraid of him, most people don't typically give him a chance, but you did sooooo. He very unsure where his hands should go. Like, is holding your hand okay? What about pulling you just a little closer to him, or is that too rough? What about when he hugs you, should his arms be higher up or closer to your waist? He doesn't know so his hands are shaky, unsure, and gentle with you. He's pretty clueless when it comes to emotions honestly, he can't read you like how Haruto can and so if you want something you'll need to be direct with him. But he's never rude on purpose if he is rude, he always tries to sound gentle while still being somewhat direct.

h = hugs (how do they feel about hugs? how often do they happen? what are their hugs like?)

Loves hugs! He loves holding you and loves being held. Much like with cuddling, when he hugs you he feels like it's easier to protect you, like you're safe in his arms. In the beginning of your relationship, they probably wouldn't happen much, but I think with time they'd happen more and more. He always tries to hug you gently but if maybe you two haven't seen each other in a while or anything happens to you he'll hug you a bit tighter. He's a big dude so his hugs kinda engulf you <3

i = i love you (when do they first say it? how often is it said?)

He knows he loves you way before saying it. Honestly he most likely won't say it until after you've said it. If he does say it before you then it would probably happen when he thought you were sleeping or maybe something happened and he thought he was going to lose you, he'll say it then. After the first time it's said he'll say it to you every morning, every night, and every time you two have to separate from each other.

j = jealousy (are they the jealous type? how jealous do they get? how do they act when they’re jealous?)

Minato does get jealous but not super often. Like he knows you have friends like Aki and Haruto and he's happy you have friends. I think he'd get jealous of certain aspects though. Like how Haruto can read you and know what you want, he wishes he could do that for you. Or if any of your friends are touchy with you just so casually, he'll wish he could touch you as casually like that. Or if you're more comfortable around someone else then you are with him, he'll wish you were that comfortable around him. Gets jealous when you talk to someone more then him because he wants to talk to you more. Rarely does he get jealous of people just talking to you but if you don't give Minato a bit of attention he'll get jealous. He'll glare at the other person without realizing and stick close to your side, holding your hand. He'd play it off as he didn't get good vibes from that person and that he was just protecting you.

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? how often do they happen? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

Much like him, his kisses are gentle and unsure. With time and practice his kisses will get more confident but they remain gentle. They don’t happen much at first but they eventually become an every day thing. After every "I love you" he presses a little kiss to your face. He likes to kiss you on your forehead, nose, or lips and he likes to be kissed in the same areas.

l = language (what’s their love language?)

Quality time and acts of service are his main love languages and his secondary one is words of affirmation. Loves just being in your presence, it's instant relief. He loves doing things for you, I said a bit of in in Domestic, but he puts you in his schedule, makes sure you're taking care of yourself. He really likes word of affirmation but he's just not the best with it.

m = morning (what are mornings like with them?)

He probably wakes up earlier then most people. He won't wake you up when he wakes up but he likes to make sure you're up by at least 11:30. He probably watches you sleep for a little, thinking about how lucky he is to be dating you. He makes breakfast for him and his grandparents, making sure they take their medication. When you wake up he smiles upon seeing you, he'll say good morning and give you little kiss. He'll make you breakfast as well :3

n = night (what are nights like with them?)

He goes to sleep early and will encourage you to go to sleep early as well. He'll kiss you goodnight after telling you he loves you. If your sleep schedule is really bad then he'll set an alarm for like 1 or 2 in the morning and make you go to sleep then. Sleeping with him is kind of a pain though because of his sleeping habits.

o = open (are they an open book or more closed off?)

He doesn't mean to be closed off, he just genuinely doesn't try to think about his issues. If he contemplates how his life has been thus far it makes him upset so he just represses and stuff. He doesn't want to reject you trying to know more about him but he just hates reliving his childhood. He'll have to tell you things more slowly.

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

It kind of depends on the situation. Typically he doesn't get mad at you and when he does it's more like concern. Like lets say maybe you did something dangerous and possibly life threatening, he's pretty upset that you put yourself in a situation like that but he's mostly concerned and just wants you to be safe and value yourself more. But as long as you aren't doing anything dangerous he doesn't get mad often.

q = quizzes (how much do they remember about you? do they remember every little detail or are they forgetful?)

He has written stuff down that you tell him so that he doesn't forget. So things like favorite color, favorite foods, etc etc he has memorized for things like gifts or dates. When you tell him anything from your home life he thinks about it a lot, if it's something happy then it makes him happy and if it was a bad experience he thinks about how much that must've hurt you and it makes him sad. He also has things like your birthday, important anniversaries, medicine schedule all written down in his planner and calendar.

r = remember (what’s their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Honestly, any time you would go over to his place and hang out with him and his grandparents are some of his favorite moments. It's all of his favorite people in the same room having fun and getting to know each other. The first time you went over to his place was when you two first got to really know more about each other so whenever you come over he just remembers that moment and smiles.

s = security (how protective are they? do they like being protected?)

Minato is very VERY protective. He's pretty protective of everyone because he doesn't really like violence but he gets REALLY protective when its someone that's really important to him, like you. He doesn't really feel the need to be protected but when he is, he can't deny it feels nice to be be cared for.

t = try (how much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, etc.?)

He puts in a lot of effort usually, but it also kinda depends on the date. Sometimes he wants to have a stay at home date y'know, he'll make an at home fancy dinner date or a really cozy movie date. He'll spend HOURS looking up date spots for you two to enjoy. Puts his all into anniversaries and birthdays, only the best for you. Much like in Remember when he wrote down stuff you like for gifts, he does put effort into his gifts, he's not really crafty so he just buys stuff that reminds him of you.

u = ugly (what’s a bad habit/trait of theirs?)

Taking care of others before himself. He finds pride and joy in taking care of others but he often forgets to do things for himself. He mostly does everything for other people and in the end he can end up getting easily used by others. He's gotten a lot better at taking care of himself but no matter what he will always put other people before himself. If he fails at taking care of people he often blames himself, thinking that maybe he could've done more and that it was his fault.

v = value (what’s their biggest priority regarding you in your relationship? ex: your safety, your happiness, etc.)

I think your safety is probably the biggest priority for him. Your safety is the reason why you two became close and eventually something more. As long as you're okay, he will be okay. He really values everything though.

w = whole (do they feel incomplete without you?)

Definitely! But I think unlike the other Li's Minato can eventually move on. Will it take a long time, absolutely, but I think he's capable of doing a lot of self-reflection and will realize that everything will be okay and that there's other people. But it also depends on the situation. If you two stay friends after breaking up then it's easier to accept moving on and feeling whole "without" you. If you die then it's over for Minato and he won't move on at all.

x = xtra (random headcanon!)

His grandparents are his biggest supporters! Minato has been living with them since he was 11 after certain events happened at home. His grandparents are still very much and love and see a lot of themselves in Minato and you and so they constantly tease Minato for his obvious crush on you. They're his wingman and wingwoman, trying to help Minato confess or push you to realize Minato's feelings and confess yourself. Don't let them know that you confessed to Minato, Minato will never hear the end of their teasing.

y = yearn (what’s something they want from you but will never admit to?)

Maybe perhaps wants your approval to get like 3-5 dogs, all corgi's LMAO. He would never put that on you cause animals are a lot of work, he's happy as long as he's allowed to have 1. He just wants at least ONE fur baby. Of course if you want a different animal then like yuh, as long as the proper research is done before you two get it :)

z = zzz (what’s a sleep habit of theirs?)

He goes to sleep early and wakes up early. He sleeps in pajama pants most nights but during nights where it is just too hot he'll sleep in just his boxers. He can't go to sleep without being covered by blankets(at least his upper body needs to be covered) but during the night he will push the blankets off of himself. He also sleeps on his back and kinda starfishes, his body temperature is too warm to be curled up.

[salsakiyoomi]

GAHHH OH MY GOD OKAY OKAY first of all holy smokes I love the theme on your blog so much it's so cool and the red is just,,, chefs kiss oh man💗💗🥹!!

OKAY AJAJA would it be alright if I asked for a matchup for Spiderverse (either of the other fandoms work if they're easier/more fun to work with!! I love all of the fandoms there as well ajajja) :O??<3 please take as long as you need with it!!💗🙏

my persona:

name: ellie :D

personality: ENFP/ENTP (but E and I are bound to change depending on how I'm feeling while taking the test BWAHSHSHD so here's another description!!): I'm a generally optimistic person with the sense of humor of an eight year old boy. I will laugh at your mom jokes and then apologize and then make another one😭 I enjoy helping people and creating things, but I do tend to question my morals a lot and wonder why I am helping those people !! I really like the idea of self-improvement and knowing there's always room for more :D reminders are always great too because I forget a lot of things SJDBSJSJHS

zodiac sign: aries!

ideal type: i'm okay with being paired with any gender, no preference! i'm also a minor/highschool student if that helps at all :D (i'm totally on board with platonic matchups as well, i'm unlabeled so for me i can roll along w just about anything!! whatever is easiest GAARAHH). i really admire people who are kind at heart, it doesn't matter how they show it :D i admire people who are humble but not meek, and are willing to speak their minds when it feels right to them OH MAN and I also love people who i can go on and have deep talks with them and fall asleep next to them giggling like im 7 years old at a sleepover every night. OH AJDJSJ and I also love watching shows meant For Literal Children/cartoons because I find them genuinely hilarious and the lessons are always so good 😭🙏 creativity is important to me as well + education for passions :D my giving love language is words of affirmation and physical touch, and my main receiving is acts of service and physical touch! :D

my favorite trope: SHDHDJDJ FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY FOUND FAMILY or any forms of domestic fluff!! 💗💗(sharing a bed and hurt/comfort and being held after a nightmare is my JAM BWAHHS)

favorite season: autumn :)))

hobbies: I absolutely love biology/biomed/environmental science :D! I love going to aquariums and (art) museums and learning about my passions. i definitely want to work at an aquarium as one of those people who give tours to the 3rd graders one day 🥰🙏 I also love listening to instrumental scores from movies!! (I CRIED OVER THE ONES FROM ATSV I AM UNWELL) how to train your dragon and big hero 6 are definitely up there as a few of my favorites :D oh man I also love performing and doing musical theatre for the sake of the community WAHHHSJ,, I love art and writing even though I can get pretty bad writer's block AND OH MAN I love tutoring a lot and going on bike rides when I'm alone !! I love hanging out w people but I also value my alone time as well, and soMETIMES (I AM WORKING ON IT SJXJSJ) I tend to become a doormat where i can't say no and worry about how I am in public places (bUT I HAVE NO PROBLEM DOING PRESENTATIONS WHICH I FIND HILARIOUS SJXNSKJD), but again I SWEAR I am working on it !! =D💗

and the fandom for spider verse would be great :D!! but again anything else is totally okay!!!

OKAHXHSJD IM SO SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH PLEASE DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUt ABOUT IT I ALSO THINK YOUR WRITING IS VERY NEAT AND I LIKE IT VERY MUCH AND I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO READ MORE BECAUSE THE STARS W AKAASHI MADE ME MELT. okay that is all have a wonderful day!!! 😭🙏🙏🙏💗💗 take good care of yourself and make sure to sleep well :D!

HONEYMOON MATCHUP WITH : HOBIE BROWN

— honeymoon :

– hobie thinks it's a little funny, honestly, how things turned out with you — the two of you are almost polar opposites, but you know what they say ; opposites attract, and you were his missing puzzle piece — hobie didn't like labels, but there was no denying that he certainly had a thing for you, and you couldn't deny that you liked him either, so you settled in middle ground.

– hobie would come to your place every night — that's how it started, you'd watch a movie or two and once the clock strikes midnight, you find yourself laying in bed with him, huddled up in his arms with your head resting on his chest and his face buried in your hair, the two of you talk about alot of stuff, jumping from one topic to another about completely unrelated things — he likes listening to you talk, likes the sound of your voice and how it immediately soothes him into a good mood — but once the clock nears five am, and you start mumbling and tripping on your words and your eyelids become heavy, he places a soft kiss on your lips, telling you it's time for bed before holding you close and the two of you eventually fall asleep.

– hobie has a knack to convincing you to do things you wouldn't usually do, like going out with him at three am on a supposed 'date' where he takes you to one of the city's highest rooftops with a couple of snacks and the radio playing your favourite songs, he likes to draw and often brings his sketchbook to those dates, so the two of you doodle on the pages, slapping stickers on them and creating a perpetual memory, and he thinks — actually, believes, that no matter what, he'd never forget you, and he has reached a conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he may be in love with you.

— what's on the radio : moonlight, kali uchis

a/n : hello??? kirishimas-manly-eyeliner ?? 😭😭 i used to follow you, i loved your blog sm and you were legit one of my inspirations to write 😭😭 i didn't know you were aware of my blog holy shit, i love you so much 😭 thank you for the request and your ask was so much fun to read like shejwkwk, you're such a nice person help 😭 thank you sm for the request again, ily — also atsv was so good, i cried alot during the moving so you aren't alone, and i loved hobie's animation ! i loved the way they colored him and how he looked like he was out of a panel and the way he changed colors (??) it was so good, he's one of my faves pls 😭 i hope this did you justice and that you like it ! once again thank you sm for the request <33