#I'm having a lot of feelings about this boy

[drdemonprince]

I keep seeing the posts about male socialization and idk it makes me feel weird because I identify as transfem and I *do* believe I had male socialization. I find it easier to identify with and understand male groups and to feel involved in the while I feel less at ease understanding how women feel and think even though my personal view of myself leans more towards a feminine identity. All these posts make me doubt that I am truly "transfem" and that even if I am, that I am fundamentally transfem in a different way than most other transfems I run into. Is there any sources or writing out there that either provides a counter-perspective or at the very least points to nuance on this subject from a transfem lens? I wish I didn't feel so alone with these feelings.

Your feelings and experience do not make you any less legitimate as a transfeminine person. A lot of trans women rightfully and understandably need to counteract the notion that they're oppressive privileged males or whatever by asserting, as clearly as they can, the many ways in which their socialization was a female socialization, with all the double-standards, demanded emotional labor, sexual predation, etc that entails -- but the very need to assert these things is due to the culture's twisted misconceptions about what gender even is and how it operates.

It's not as though a young person only gets the socialization of the binary gender to which they were assigned -- they get mandatory cishet socialization, and they see what is expected of the "other" gender, and that impacts them, and the standards for that other gender also influence how they are interpreted and seen.

And so I do think, to a certain extent, that when trans people assert that we actually didn't get socialized as our assigned gender at birth, we got socialized as the correct gender, actually, we are unfortunately ceding ground to the transphobes on a couple of key points. One, we're conceeding that there is a singular binary socialization that the two genders each get, which are separate from one another and always exhibit specific features, and two, that a person's socialization as a young person is a key determinant of their gendered experience, privilege, and identity forever, no matter what happens after they are young.

And you know, both those things are totally wrong. There is no one female socialization. I've written about this before, but I wasn't raised to be feminine. I was raised the way working-class girls are raised, which is to be no-nonsense, unfrivolous, serious, sporty, and capable -- a wife and mother, but the kind that never wears a skirt or cries in front of people. And there is no singular "male" socialization either -- I cite a few trans femme people in this piece who experienced themselves as having some male privilege before they transitioned, and some more typically "male" experiences, while also quoting a number of trans women whose lives went the exact opposite way. I assert in the piece that their experiences are theirs to name, and that there's a number of different ways we might each understand and categorize them personally -- especially when we take into account how much gendered socialization is dependent upon class, race, immigration status, diasporic status, and much more.

My view is that however you think your live played out, and whoever you find community alongside, you're right. I'm about to answer a similar ask about this from a trans masc perspective, but I'm a guy who has a ton of women friends and always have. I grew up mostly with girls as my closest buddies and we did things like playing pretend and having slumber parties and doing makeovers. I could chalk this up as a "female socialization" experience I guess if I wanted to. But I also grew up with a lot of gay boys, and I am a gay man, and guess what -- a lot of us grow up with predominately female friends. I don't think I have some essential feminine quality because my friends kept insisting on putting eyeshadow on me when I was ten. The fact I was bad at sports and couldn't be the tough, no-nonsense person that my culture expected me to be was gonna affect me whether I was a boy or a girl. And my upbringing was significantly different from that of one of my very best, oldest friends, whose family owned a successful business and were able to buy her a car and a horse and shit.

You're not betraying anything or lessening your own transfemininity by resonating with some typically "male" experiences or for having close male connections. Lots of queer women do! Just like I have plenty in common with lots of women! We don't say that cis women aren't women because they grew up tomboys, or had a ton of brothers, and the same is true of you. Even if you don't think of your younger self as "a tomboy" or even as a girl. You don't have to ascribe to the narrative that you were always one gender and always moved through the world with that identity. To demand that all trans people do so is respectability politics -- we cannot and should not require that all people be trans in the same ways. I have written before that transition to me feels at once both pre-ordained AND a choice that I made. You can say that you lived as a boy for some years or were a boy if that feels right to you, or that you had certain privileges while also suffering from dysphoria and disconnection; it's your life and you know it best and what serves you.

I wish I had narratives from trans women writers to direct you to, but for the most part the trans women who I've heard express feelings like yours have been in the support and discussion groups I've been in, and in private conversation -- I think because the socialization experiences of trans femmes are so unfairly politicized. I hope if any trans femme people see this have anything to share or any words to say that they will!

[shapelytimber]

Wanted to paint some of my favorite characters, nothing more nothing less

[COMMISSIONS]

Way too much yapping like an embarrassing amount, the individual portraits and the template I used below vvv

I shouldn't be allowed to talk about my favorite characters- especially to people who (presumably) don't know them xjfkdk apart from the very popular ones ofc

ILLYA KURYAKIN (The man from U.N.C.L.E)

gay ass little Russian spy I love him he is so *dramatic* and a huge nerd and a Beatles fan and into fashion design- perfect pocket size blorbo ;w; also seeing a Russian character being given a positive leading role in an American tvshow from the 60s ?? Yes he lives in New York and works for UNCLE America.... But he is still a communist ?? Incredible ! Also I really like the fact he isn't given the cliché personality traits often given to Russian characters i e anger issues drinks a lot violent ect (looking at you shitty(imo) modern remake... What did you do to my little guy ;;). In a close contest with Spock for the "gayest man from tvshow" of the 60s..... And in my heart he is winning djdkd for me the gay subtext of muncle hits so much more because it's not a scifi show- it's closer to home, Napoleon and Illya were *like that* in the present day of the 60s, they were both human, and no alien fuckery made them go to the village more than once or play house in the suburbs or get attached ass up to get pegged on a regular basis... Truly a show that feels written by an old queen and a guy with the biggest fem dom fetish jkvjjkb (don't get me wrong tho I adore star trek tos and spirk too <3)

KUROO HAZAMA and PINOKO (Black Jack)

sometimes I rewatch some of the oavs from the 90s when I'm sad :) I had a huge phase a couple years back when I read nearly all the manga (should really finish it... Or reread the whole thing frankly), watched *all* the shows (bar young black jack, hated that shit) and idk I just love this venal bitch so much- him and his daughter and his conflicted feelings for his tboy ex that he still loves kfkfkf btw I'm dying for a modern take on this like please please please I'd love to see Kei Kisaragi's story rewritten a bit (trans character in the 70s sure was progressive but oh boy-), because him and black jack's relationship makes me so *weak*.... And maybe see him a bit more than in one story- anyway ! When it comes to his daughter Pinoko, it's very hit or miss- when the writers lean on the cute father adoptive daughter relationship it's great, when they lean more on the whole "she has a crush on him" (very much like a child in most case, and he *never* reciprocate thank god) and bring up the fact she is technically 18 a lot (she was an evil tumor trapped in her sister before he created a body for her- black jack shit dw), and she gets jealous of other women.... Well it's terrible and I'm uncomfy :(

EVA KANT (Diabolik)

Look.... You just can't show me danger diabolik 1968 and not expect me to become insane djdkdkdk she is so cool ;; !!! Her and her devious eel of a man (here as a panther, because even tho I haven't read the comic yet, I'm taking an educated guess that all the panther imagery is here to represent him, the lethal twunk always in the all black gimp suit... And if it's not then fuck my entire life ig fjfkkd), the cuntiest het couple you've ever seen, such freaks I love them ! Partners in crime that will blow up the tax offices of the whole country if you try to put a bounty on them <3 they are in the guilty faves category only because I'm this invested in these characters after 1 (one) movie fkfkf watched the first two remakes and was hmmm let's say underwhelmed, could have been worse but going after the 60s one ie peak cinema was hard... I went in fully invested in these heterosexuals and they still fucked up their romance and relationship ;; (don't spoil me the third one btw haven't seen it yet ! I know it's the yaoi one- which doesn't give me much hope for Eva tbh...) I'll soon start reading the comics tho ! Managed to find all twelve volumes of "Il grande Diabolik" in french for pretty cheap so I'm excited for that :D (might scan them and upload them online because omg I tried finding scans in *any* language and only found a dubious website that sold digital copies for 7€ a volume ??? What is this)

UTA (The Void / Тургор / Turgor / Tension)

Apathy girlyyyyy she just like me for real for real nfkfk what absolutely charmed me about her is yes her design, but more importantly her chamber's design (if you've never played the void, a sister's chamber is a space that represent her. You get a sense of who she is by exploring her chamber before finding her and talking to her soul it's great). The lonely island out at sea, her laying down on a suspended steel boat in a grotto, looking passively at the moon by a crack on the ceiling.... And the moon is looking back. Incredible ! I love this game so much

KIM KITSURAGI (Disco Elysium)

Do I really have to explain this one ? When I played the game with quiji I remember I kept saying "when Kim talks, we *listen*" djkdk we did get a good grade in Kim Kitsuragi and got him to dance in the church <3 this fucking centrist cop wormed it's way into my heart and many others because of course he did. The only Kim K in my eyes. Also funny anecdote : before I played Disco Elysium, I had one concept art masterclass where a kinda famous concept artist came to give advice, make us really stressed then give us a shitty grade.... And when I tell you this man looked so much like Kim ??? Same haircut, glasses, face with a scar *exactly* where Kim's portrait has a stark shadow on his cheek and he was dressed in an orange top- truly uncanny. Anyway, Kim is so fucking cool how does he do it

DARK VADOR (La guerre des étoiles)

*sight* not surprising if you know me... and to be clear when I say Vader I don't mean Anakin Skywalker, post barbecue only zouz here. I refuse to yap about this man djdkdk I already do that way to much in ao3 comment sections

And here is the template I used ! Don't know who made it tho sorry...

PS : all these where made in 2-3 hours each :D wanted to challenge myself by painting quickly, and I mostly (looking at the Eva Kant one that gave me trouble) succeeded !

[fuctacles]

a boy worth fighting getting trampled for

"trampled" for @corrodedcoffinfest BF event | T | 856 | Corroded King (implied and open for interpretation) | no cw | Black Friday, banter, open relationship, polycule-ish, appreciating Steve Harrington moment, canon-ish universe | Ao3

"Was it worth it?"

"Yes!" Gareth and Jeff nod in unison.

"No," whines Eddie, thumbing at the rip in his beloved t-shirt. 

"Eh..." Doug makes a so-so motion with his palm.

Steve sighs. When they asked him for extra muscle on Black Friday, he should have expected an outcome like this. The whole band is brandishing various injuries from being trampled by other shoppers, the worst of which was Gareth's allegedly sprained ankle. He wasn't fussing about it only because a. his mother was a nurse and would look at it as soon as she was back, and b. he kind of deserved it. 

"Well, show me the loot, then," Steve says with a raised eyebrow, crossing his arms. The only thing he's seen so far was a shiny new amp he had the misfortune of carrying from the store to his car. 

Eddie digs through his pockets to brandish about half a dozen tapes, none with a cover Steve would recognize. He seems proud of his haul but sours under the unimpressed stare he gets. 

"I got a few vinyls for my folks," Doug shows off his findings, and Eddie scoffs loudly when he gets an approving smile from Steve.

"That's nice," he says. 

Gareth redeems himself by showing a gift for his sister, while Jeff bought probably two dozen string packs for his guitar. 

"Okay, these aren't actually as stupid as I thought," Steve admits reluctantly, sitting on a stack of tires. "Except for you," he points at Eddie. "You have a shitload of tapes already."

Eddie huffs, now him being the one to cross his arms. 

"Sorry, we're not showing what we got for you."

The rest of the guys start shushing him immediately, Jeff even going as far as throwing a string pack at his head. Eddie maturely flips them the bird. 

"You got me stuff?" Steve asks in surprise. 

"Duh," Gareth scoffs, and Jeff flicks him in the ear for it. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"Be nice, idiot," Jeff chastises him. 

With a roll of his eyes, Gareth turns to Steve. 

"You're basically a part of the band, we figured it would be nice," he shrugs. 

"But I'm not—"

Doug interrupts him before he can go further with his usual protests.

"You do a lot of the heavy lifting, you co-wrote two songs, and consistently charm venue managers into giving us gigs," he lists off on his fingers. "You're basically like Corroded Coffin's manager, so shut up."

"Yeah, you also give the best blowjobs," Eddie grins, because he loves to ruin a moment, and immediately shields his head from any missiles Jeff might throw his way. But the guy only hums in agreement. 

"That's true," he nods, making Steve flush pink. 

"Well, uh... thanks, I guess," he smiles, a little taken aback. "Waiting til Christmas might kill me, though," he admits with a chuckle. He's always been that kid who looked through all the nooks and crannies of the house to find the gifts early, too curious to sit around and wait. 

The band exchanges thoughtful looks among themselves; they nod and they shrug.

"I guess you can pick one," Jeff decides for all of them. 

Steve's eyes widen. 

"You all got me something?!"

"We couldn't agree on one thing," Doug sighs like it's a topic of a tiring debate. Which, knowing them, might have been.

Steve hums thoughtfully, looking over each of the boys as if his mind wasn't already made. He points his finger, feeling childishly powerful.

"Eddie. You gotta redeem yourself, man."

Eddie rolls his eyes but doesn't protest. He bends over the back of the couch to reach for his backpack, and Doug immediately grabs onto his back pocket with a sigh, so he doesn't topple over and add to his injuries. Once Eddie falls back on the cushions with a huff and fixes his hair, he pulls out a familiar packaging. 

Steve looks unimpressed. 

"If this is your way of redeeming yourself—"

But after brandishing a can of Farrah Fawcett hair spray, Eddie keeps pulling out more hair products, shampoos, and conditioners that are always sold out whenever Steve tries looking for them.

"Okay, fine. Consider yourself redeemed," he says reluctantly, and Eddie beams at him. He stands up to walk up to him and kisses him softly on the lips before squeezing in to sit between him and Doug. 

"See? Every time!" Gareth throws a hand towards them "He weasels himself out of anything!" 

"It's the dimples, I'm telling you." Jeff shakes his head in disappointment.

Steve, his arm already slung over Eddie, motions for Gareth.

"Well, come over and I'll kiss you too. What? You sprained your ankle and can't walk? Aw, what a shame."

Gareth hisses at him and shows him the finger, which Steve mirrors while making kissy faces. Eddie just preens under his embrace, content like the cat that got the cream. 

"Next year just please plan it better. Wear protective gear and stock the fucking first aid kit."

"You wear a fucking—"

Gareth is interrupted by Jeff's arm putting him into a headlock. 

"We will," he agrees for him. 

regulars: @blasvemous @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94

[fromchaostocosmos]

Hey OP everything I'm about to say I'm saying out both kindness and frustration.

I'm guessing that you are not Jewish because what you wrote really does not reflect the reality of life for Jews in the USA at that time.

Jews would not be socialites or rubbing elbows with wealthy and elite. And no matter how much any Jews would have stripped away any their Jewish identity they still would have been viewed as classless and lesser by the upper echelon.

Jews were immigrants who primarily did not speak English and mostly were on the east coast.

Fun fact about Jews during this time: Jews who kept Shabbat would have to look for a new job ever week because they would be fired for refusing to work on Shabbat.

As for San Fransisco Jews only came there due the California Gold Rush which happened the mid point of the 1800's.

Jews were heavily involved in Unions and were a major backbone of the Labor movement.

The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire of 1911 is something that is major keystone is labor rights and movement history. You can not learn about unions and labor laws or anything to do with that without hearing about this. But you know what always gets glossed over, ignored, and often outright erased? The fact that the majority of the workers were Jewish girls and women.

In fact if you look at pictures of many labor marches you will notice that the signs are in Yiddish.

The Jewish identity of the Jewish contributors the unions, labors laws, child labor laws, and labor rights get erased and they become immigrants of X country when their Jewishness played a important role in why they fought for what they did, but also why they faced the discrimination and unfair labor practices they faced.

Also Oscar Wilde would not have had anything to do with anything related to Jews because he was a massive antisemite.

There is this thing that people often do, such as what you have, where they write Jews as having wealth, privilege, and access thinking that they are being inclusive when really what is happening is the furthering of antisemitic tropes and stereotypes as well as a revision of history when this happens in historical settings.

You want to make the Jewish character the prince of the story no problem. Have them be an organizer for a Union and the ball can some kind event or even march or something related to unions.

That can be a connection point between the two of them. The prince title can be a nickname or another connection point where her name, either first or last, is mispronounced by non-Yiddish speakers.

You could even have it be that she is going out and doing out reach to different jobs to get them to unionize/help unionize.

as for views towards their child being gay honestly it would vary with how religious the family was, but also the fact that she was a girl and not a boy it would not as much as a deal due to religious understandings.

While a lot of parts of Yiddish culture has been lost due to the loss of many Yiddish speakers their has existed within this culture a whole queer culture/world though they had their own words to describe it.

This idea has merit and could work it just need to fix the historical inaccuracies and cultural insensitivities in regards to the Jewish parts.

I'm not Chinese so I can't speak to those parts and I don't OP if you are Chinese so again I don't feel it is my place to speak on any of those parts.

Because I do not want Sephardim to left out or forgotten I want to point out that Ashkenazi Jews are not and have not been the only Jews in the USA.

1934 saw San Francisco's first Sephardi Synagogue.

So while yes there was in the 1800's a large influx of Jewish immigration of Ashkenazi Jews to the USA that doesn't mean that there were no Sephardim in the USA already or Sephardim who at the time who were moving around the USA or immigrating to the USA.

I don't want Sephardi history to be ignored or erased.

There is nothing wrong with having the Jewish character be Ashkenazi, I just want to make sure that if I'm accounting for proper historical record in regards to Jews then I'm doing that and leaving out Sephardim.

cinderella remake set in 1880s san francisco where cinderella is a chinese immigrant with bound feet and also she’s a butch lesbian and the prince is a butch lesbian too but she’s a paris-educated german-american socialite and a darling of the transatlantic arts and literary world so the connotations of her gender nonconformity are completely different. oscar wilde is there

[miupow]

CRAVE。⧼ PROLOGUE ⧽ ─── 투모로우바이투게더

stay away from the woods。

★ pairing。txt ot5 x fem!reader‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎g。⧼ 📖 ⧽ fantasy , romance , comedy , angst , eventual smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎cw。descriptions of personal injury and blood ・animal attacks ・mentions of illness and death ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎wc。2. 1 k | to library。

★ includes。。。heeseung from enhypen

notes from lia。finally!! happy thanksgiving everyone, i'm thankful for every single one of my amazing readers!! i hope you enjoy the prologue to my very much anticipated crave series!! look out for the first chapter in the beginning of december!!

all your life, you had been told to never step foot into the woods. that there were monsters lurking just below its dark canopy, hiding just out of sight and patiently waiting to strike. and yet the whistling of the pines has never been this entrancing. the trees taunt you from your safe little cabin, their outstretched branches waving and creaking in the wind as if they were beckoning you closer and closer.

you can see them just as perfectly from the bakery as you can from your bedroom window. they feel inescapable.

the shrill, tinny ringing of a bell snaps your attention away from the open window, your thoughts having consumed you as you laid out fresh loaves of bread to cool in the frosty air. you brush your floury hands off on your apron and turn to welcome your customer, your polite smile growing into a warm grin when you recognize the lanky boy standing by your workbench.

“that’s an awful lot to be doing all on your own.” he comments with a sideways smile, running his fingers through his auburn hair.

“i open the shop by myself every morning, hee.” you reply pointedly, rising to your tip toes to give him a quick hug before brushing past him towards the towering stone oven. “you know mother can’t work this early anymore.”

“couldn’t you ask one of your siblings to help?”

“they’re too young to use the oven or mill the wheat, they’d be no help at all. it’s not even that much work, really, just baking and cleaning. i don’t want to burden them with all of this on top of everything else.”

nothing has been the same since your father fell ill. the bakery was his and your mother’s, a humble way to support their family and their quaint little village for decades. you were never particularly wealthy, but you had enough to get by. consumption, the village doctor had called it. it was a truly fitting word for the disease that slowly consumed your poor, frail father whole. nothing was left, not even the bones. a mere shadow laid in bed all day, a ghost whose coughs have began to sound like rattling chains. none of the medicines the doctor prescribed ever worked, they only seemed to be making him sicker. he said that there was a hospital in the royal city, but your village was days away by carriage, and you and your mother had nowhere near the means to fund the trip. part of you were certain he wouldn’t survive the journey either way.

your mother now spends her days caring for him, an apothecary’s daughter clinging on to the last shreds of hope that her remedies will ward off the hands of death. you desperately wish you could feel the same, but you’ve already begun grieving… until recently.”

“mother said she’d stop by to help this afternoon.” you assert, leaving no more room for discussion. you can feel his eyes on your back, watching you as you stoke the firewood and slide trays of dough into the oven. “you worry about me too much! i’m not a little girl anymore.”

“i worried about you then and i’ll worry about you now.” heeseung chuckles endearingly, erupting a swarm of butterflies in your belly. “you’ve always been a little too brave.”

his words remind you of your mulling thoughts, pulling your gaze back to the window. “heeseung, have you ever known someone who went into the woods?”

heeseung is quiet for a worryingly long time. “the blackwoods? not anyone who made it back… why?”

your mind is screaming at you to keep your mouth shut, but you just can’t keep it all bottled up inside anymore. you’ve never hidden a single thing from your best friend, except this. “i was reading my mothers books the other day.” you admit softly, unable to look him in the eye. “in one of them it said there is a plant that grows in the blackwoods, a type of flower. it can cure any illness, save people from the brink of death…”

“y/n.” heeseung warns, his face dropping. “you’re not seriously considering going in there, are you?”

you hesitate for a second too long— he cuts you off with a scoff, stepping forward to grip your shoulders with his rough carpenter’s hands. “there’s no way that flower is even real, y/n. don’t be childish. just some fairytale out of one of your mother’s quack medicine books.”

“it was my grandfather’s.” you defend softly, finally looking up into heeseung’s eyes— the coldness you find in them frighten you.

“he was a quack too.” heeseung retorts, releasing your shoulders to turn and swiftly slam the bakery window shut. your loaves shake from the force. “there’s no magical flower that is going to save your father, especially not in the blackwoods. i love you, y/n, seriously, but you can’t keep believing in fairytales— and you wonder why i worry about you so much! promise me, you won’t go in those woods. please. one step inside and you’ll never come out. i can’t afford to lose you— your family can’t afford to lose you.”

“okay.” you relent, just loud enough for heeseung to hear. “you’re right, i was being ignorant. i won’t go into the woods.”

“say you promise.”

“i… i promise…”

standing at the edge of the forest, your cold clammy fingers wrapped tightly around the strap of your satchel, you’re caught frozen in place. you just can’t seem to get your feet to step forward, your psyche screaming at you to turn back and run home. heeseung’s words circle your thoughts, so all-consuming that you swear you can hear them in the howling wind— you haven’t told a lie since you were very young, and never to heeseung of all people. the guilt nags at you to the point of nausea.

but you had made up your mind long before you had spoken to heeseung earlier that morning. he’s a simple woodworker, he doesn’t understand a single thing about the healing magic that hides in nature… but your grandfather did. he wrote those books himself, a man who would risk his life in the pursuit of knowledge, just to help others. you wanted nothing more than to continue his legacy, save your father and prove to your close-minded little village that he was anything but the insane, rambling idiot that they all viewed him as. before and after his death. you’ve been preparing for weeks, reading as much as you can about the dangers of the blackwoods, packing whatever you possibly could think of to help you on the journey. you might have overpacked, to be honest, your weathered leather satchel hanging heavy on your shoulder. if everything went as you planned, you would be back home before anyone would notice that you were gone.

your breath fogs in front of your face, reminding you of the hearth smoke billowing from your cabin’s chimney. you can still see it, just beyond the hill, its straw hatch roof just visible over the tall grass waving in the wind. you could turn back now, put all your things away and fall asleep in the safety of your bedroom. you could forget about all of this and wake up tomorrow morning as if you had never planned anything at all.

you will yourself to move your feet, frozen in your boots like the frost on the leaves, and you enter the ominous pitch-black dark of the blackwoods.

the tree canopy is so thick that the moonlight barely breaches it, everything swathed in darkness as you walk farther and farther away from home. the flickering candle in your lantern does little to illuminate much except what was right in front of you. you focus on what you can see, the dead fallen leaves and frosty underbrush that crunch loudly underneath your feet as you venture deeper. it’s deafening in your ears, the forest eerily silent all around you, not even the distant call of an owl, the scattering of a chipmunk— you’re certain that any creatures hiding in the trees or in the brush knew of your presence.

including the monsters.

in none of the books you read would they ever describe them more than just that; monsters that use the night as camouflage, that kill livestock in their pens and steal children from their beds. any intruder in their own territory will certainly be made short work out of. you’ve always believed that they were nothing but scary stories to keep children well behaved, a tall tale your mother would use to get you to come inside for bed.

distantly, cutting sharply through the silence, you hear the howling of a wolf. it sounded a safe distance away, yet it still sent you jumping. the sudden movement causes your lantern to extinguish, plummeting you into complete and total darkness. your heart dropping, you curse, placing it on the forest floor against a mossy tree before opening the flap of your satchel and rummaging blindly through the contents for your matchbox. you try to steady your breathing, heart rattling against your ribcage, matchbox just beyond your grasp as you struggle in the dark.

you hear the rustling of leaves just to your right. desperately, you tell yourself that you’re just hearing things.

finally, you wrap your fingers around the familiar shape of your matchbox, pulling it out to fumble with its contents before you pick back up your lantern. with a strike of the match against the rough bark of the tree, you’re illuminated once again, carefully lighting the candle before putting out the match with a shake of your hand. triumphantly, you turn to continue to venture farther into the woods, before stopping cold. your breath knocks out of you all at once, leaving you gasping in the cold air.

farther up on the oak tree, carved crudely into the bark, are three sharp claw marks you’re almost certain weren’t there before.

but they had to have been, because there was simply no way that something could have snuck up so close to you without you noticing. these woods were driving you mad, you feared, still trying to steady your breathing as you turn and step forward.

as you continue deeper into the forest, you swear you hear another pair of footsteps following your own. you stop abruptly to catch them, but you hear nothing— another thing you must be imagining… yet you set onward a little faster than before.

maybe it was that wolf you had heard, you entertained as you examine the dark twisted trees. it sounded rather far away, but you couldn’t be one to discount the creature’s speed. maybe it was just watching you to make sure you weren’t a threat, and it would leave you shortly…

a growl, deep and barely audible, rumbles from between the bushes. you break out into a wild sprint, gasping and panting, running deep into the unknown. the creature chases you with frightening speed, no longer trying to hide its footsteps as it weaves through the forest floor. you had no idea where you were or where you were going, but this beast… this was his home. the hunt was on.

low hanging branches scratch and tear at your skin and clothing as you run, blood running down your face, legs and arms— you couldn’t feel the pain, the adrenaline numbing everything except for the terror in your heart. now you were just easier to track, you agonized, but you couldn’t do anything but keep running, dropping your satchel and lantern to lighten your load as much as you could. alas, you barely ran any faster… you were starting to slow down, exhaustion was starting to creep up on you, your chest aching and desperate for breath, your legs screaming in pain as you stumble and stagger through the labyrinth of trees. you couldn’t see a single thing in front of you, completely lost in the darkness, your arms outstretched to feel around as you ran.

the creature was advancing, it’s footsteps thunderous right behind you, its snarls and growls growing closer and closer. in a desperate attempt to escape, you sharply turn to the right to run in a different direction.

just as you move to step forward, your boot wedges itself underneath an exposed tree root, and you are sent tumbling to the mossy ground. you try to break your fall with your hands, but you react far too late— you slam your head against a jagged rock, blinding white light flashing behind your eyelids before your world goes black.

the last thing you feel is pain, and the last thing you see are two bright, bloody red eyes staring at you through the darkness.

[jayswifeshh]

all talk | p.js

there has always been a simmering tension between you and jay ever since you joined their friend group, hidden beneath playful banter and teasing remarks. but things changed when what started as a carefree night out with your seven friends quickly spiraled into something far more unexpected. between the music, the drinks, and the charged glances, the playful teasing shifts into something much more intense.

《 park¡jongseong x female¡reader

《 content - smut, a little fluff, teasing, protected sex, praise kink, drunk sex, jealously, oral, self-pleasure(jay), the reader isn't submissive and she's low-key a freak. probably missed a lot but it's my first time guys i'm so sorry!

if you're into a quick smut story this probably isn't for you. got carried away and it ended up being way longer than expected (i just like to yap a lot sry again babes)

《 wc - 9k

heesung and jake play a big role in this lol. jungwon's mentioned too just at the very end.

___________________________________________

you and jay… that was always a topic of confusion—for others, and sometimes even for yourselves.

this entire, incredibly eventful chapter of your life began when you met enhypen during one of your calvin klein photoshoots. it was a collaboration you hadn’t expected, and yet everything about it felt oddly seamless.

from the moment you met the group of boys, it felt as though you’d known them forever. they were warm, funny, and easy to talk to—qualities that made them stand out, especially since most of your friendships had been with girls.

what really caught you off guard was how quickly you became a part of their circle. suddenly, you were being invited to hangouts every other week when your schedules allowed, and you didn’t mind one bit.

all seven of them welcomed you with open arms, making you feel at ease in a way that was new and unexpected. it was strange to think about because kindness should be the standard, but your past experiences with men had left you guarded. this shift in dynamic, though refreshing, often felt too good to be true.

your relationship with each one of them was unique in its own way, but you seemed to connect best with one in particular— park jongseong.

your bond with jay was unlike anything you shared with the rest. from your very first exchange, there was an easy flirtation between the two of you that only grew stronger over time. the others teased you both relentlessly, saying how perfect you were for each other and insisting you should stop pretending and just make it official.

you and jay, however, would always dismiss their comments, laughing it off and insisting that you were just joking around. of course, the others never believed you, carrying on with their relentless teasing.

still, it never fazed you or jay. maybe it was because, deep down, the idea didn’t seem all that bad? you never stopped to analyze it, though. the truth was, you never had a “what are we?” conversation, and you weren’t exactly in a rush to have one either. you weren’t actively looking for love, and having a flirtatious dynamic with a man sculpted like a greek god certainly added some much-needed excitement to your life. who could complain? it was just innocent fun—you never crossed any boundaries or did anything beyond playful banter.

little did you know, though, that someday words would turn into actions.

the night everything changed began with a casual invitation. the guys were in new york city for a concert and decided to go clubbing in their free time. they wanted you to join.

the place they chose was nothing short of extravagant—a blend of a nightclub and bar, with a formal dress code and an exclusive guest list. it was an entirely new experience, especially since most of your outings with them were more casual: dinners, movie nights, or just hanging out at someone’s place.

the chance to dress up, drink, and let loose was too tempting to pass up. without a second thought, you said yes, not knowing that this night would mark a turning point in your relationship with jay.

after stepping into the upscale club, the eight of you naturally dispersed. some rushed off to the bar, others disappeared into the pulsing crowd, lost in the music and lights. a few mingled effortlessly with strangers, their laughter blending into the vibrant hum of the room.

you stayed back with jay, jake, and heesung, settling into a plush, semi-private corner on an l-shaped couch. the spot felt perfect—close enough to feel the energy of the club but far enough to offer a sense of privacy. from where you sat, you could watch the sea of bodies moving under the strobe lights, yet here, the music was muffled just enough to allow for easy conversation.

a sleek glass table in front of you was already cluttered with expensive liquor bottles, mixers, and half-finished drinks. you sat in the middle, jay on your left, so close that his knee brushed yours every time he adjusted his position. heesung occupied the far side, and jake sprawled casually on your right, his arm draped over the backrest.

the conversation was lively, flowing effortlessly from deep, reflective topics to ridiculous, out-of-pocket jokes that had all of you clutching your sides with laughter. the alcohol helped, loosening your words and deepening your bond as time slipped away.

it didn’t take long for you to feel the telltale signs of drunkenness. your cheeks felt warm, the edges of the room seemed softer, and your words occasionally slurred together. the guys weren’t far behind, their flushed faces and increasingly playful banter a clear indication of how much they’d had to drink.

but through the haze, you couldn’t help but notice jay. he’d always been charming and tactile, but tonight, something about him felt different—intensely focused. every so often, his hand would graze your bare leg, the touch fleeting but electric. occasionally, he’d reach out to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his fingers lingering near your cheek in a way that made your breath hitch.

and then there were his hands—always finding ways to touch yours. jay had a habit of playing with your fingers, something you’d grown used to, but tonight, it felt more deliberate. his thumb traced slow, lazy circles on your skin, his touch so gentle it sent shivers up your spine.

his gaze, though, was what undid you. whenever his dark eyes locked with yours, it felt like the rest of the world faded away. there was an intensity to the way he looked at you tonight, as if he was trying to tell you something without saying a word. it made your heart race in a way you couldn’t quite control, and the alcohol only amplified your awareness of him.

jake and heesung weren’t blind to what was happening. every time jay’s hand lingered a little too long or his gaze softened when he looked at you, the two of them would exchange amused glances. jake smirked openly, while heesung occasionally raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips twitching as if he was holding back laughter.

you noticed their silent teasing, of course, but jay seemed entirely unfazed. his focus stayed on you, as if the rest of the room didn’t exist.

as much as you tried to brush it off, blaming your racing thoughts on the alcohol, you couldn’t ignore the effect he was having on you. jay looked absolutely stunning tonight. his dark hair framed his face perfectly, soft strands falling effortlessly across his forehead. his black sweater clung to him just right, dipping low enough to reveal the sharp lines of his collarbones, while his tailored dress pants fit him like a dream. every detail about him seemed designed to make you lose your composure.

the night continued like this, the four of you huddled together while the others flitted in and out. occasionally, one of the members would stop by to join in on the conversation, only to dash off when a song they couldn’t resist came on. the corner you’d claimed felt like its own little world, insulated from the chaos of the club.

at one point, jay excused himself to the bathroom. you watched him go, your gaze lingering longer than you intended. the absence of his presence was immediate, like a sudden chill. the warmth of his touch, the weight of his attention, the way his voice softened when he spoke to you—it all left you reeling.

jake chuckled beside you, breaking your train of thought. “you good?” he teased, raising his glass in a toast. heesung just smirked knowingly, leaning back into the couch. to which you nonchalantly stated you're okay.

you shook your head, brushing off the slight unease from jay leaving. you leaned back into the cushions, letting the warm buzz of alcohol dull your thoughts. it wasn’t a big deal, you told yourself—he probably just needed a moment. the energy of the club, the thrum of the music, and the laughter from jake and heesung were enough to distract you. for now, the thought of jay and his lingering touches faded into the background.

but as the conversation flowed, jake leaned closer, his smirk catching your attention. “so,” he began, dragging the word out in a way that immediately put you on edge, “you know jay likes you, right?”

heesung, lounging comfortably, nodded with a sly grin. “oh, for sure. it’s not even subtle at this point. the guy can’t keep his hands off you.”

you froze for a second before letting out a laugh, shaking your head as you waved them off. “oh, come on. jay’s always like that—he’s just naturally touchy. it’s not out of the ordinary.”

jake raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. “sure, but he doesn’t act like that with anyone else. have you seen him with us? the guy barely even gives us a pat on the back, let alone all the…” he mimicked brushing imaginary hair behind his ear, earning a snicker from heesung.

“exactly,” heesung added, crossing his arms. “jay’s different with you. it’s written all over his face. you’re the only one he looks at like that.”

rolling your eyes, you chuckled, trying to ignore the way their words made your heart skip. “you’re both drunk. he's flirty all the time—it’s just jay being jay.” you shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “he probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.”

the two exchanged another look, one of those silent conversations that only close friends could have. “okay,” jake said, dragging the word out again as if to humor you. “whatever you say.”

heesung smirked, leaning back into the couch. “denial is a river in egypt,” he muttered, earning a laugh from jake.

“and you two are delusional,” you shot back playfully, though the warmth creeping up your neck betrayed your confidence. you quickly changed the topic, refusing to let their words linger, but deep down, you couldn’t help but wonder if they might be right.

heesung, however, wasn’t done. he leaned in dramatically, his voice lowering as if he was revealing some deep, dark secret. “you know, i don’t know why you’re pretending to be all innocent here.” he shot you a mischievous grin. “you’re just as flirty as jay—if not worse.”

before you could protest, he straightened up, then leaned forward again, dramatically acting out what he claimed was your behavior. “oh my god, jay,” he said in a mocking voice, fluttering his eyelashes. “you look so good tonight. i can’t stop looking at you.” he threw in a hair flip for good measure, causing you to laugh despite him making fun of you.

you gaped at him. “i do not do that!”

he grinned wider, clearly enjoying the playful torment. “sure you don’t,” he teased, pretending to sip from an invisible drink. “and then you throw in some accidental touches here and there, just like jay. like this” he reached over and lightly brushed your arm, his touch exaggerated and playful.

“stop!” you laughed, swatting his hand away. “you’re ridiculous, heesung!”

jake chuckled beside you, clearly enjoying the teasing. “you can’t deny it. you’re just as bad, if not more obvious, than jay.”

you crossed your arms and tried to hold your ground, but the heat in your face betrayed you. “whatever, you two are crazy.” you leaned back, trying to mask your flustered state, but deep down, a part of you knew they were right.

silence filled the air when you thought...wait... let’s make this fun. you leaned in closer, deciding it was your turn to stir things up.

“so, who’s the better flirt?” you asked, your voice dripping with playful confidence as you shot them a daring smirk.

heesung didn’t miss a beat. “you, obviously,” he replied with a matching grin, his quick answer making you sit a little taller.

you were about to feign modesty when jake jumped in, completely unfiltered. “oh, that’s not even a debate. you’re smooth, like dangerously smooth. it’s effortless—sensual, even. jay, though? he looks like a mix of a horny teenager and some creepy old dude who’s trying way too hard.”

you couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped, your stomach aching as heesung nodded in agreement, both boys delighting in tearing down jay’s flirting game.

“so, you’d fall for it?” you pressed, leaning into the teasing, letting your voice drop just enough to make them squirm.

their reaction was immediate—eyes wide, sharing a glance, before jake cleared his throat awkwardly. “i mean… yeah. probably any guy would… shit even girls,” he admitted, his voice quieter now.

you turned to heesung, raising an eyebrow as if to ask, well? he scratched the back of his neck, looking at everything but you. “yeah, same,” he mumbled. then, with a nervous chuckle, he added, “but don’t let jay hear that. he’d kill us, and honestly? i’d rather not go out like that.”

you giggled at their flustered answers, but you weren’t done just yet. a wicked thought crossed your mind. you leaned back against the couch, sighing dramatically, letting your body arch slightly, chest subtly pushing forward.

oh, so now they go quiet, huh? you thought to yourself, biting back a smirk.

you shifted back into your normal position, glancing at the two of them. for the first time tonight, they weren’t shooting off quick remarks or teasing you back. instead, they were trying way too hard to act like they were fascinated by the crowd around them, clearly avoiding letting their eyes wander to how your dress hugged your figure just right.

“you guys are so boring,” you teased, breaking the silence with a pout. “maybe i should test my charm with you two to see if it really works,” you added, voice low and dripping with suggestion.

the way they stiffened was almost comical. they exchanged panicked glances, their nervous laughter giving them away immediately. jake cleared his throat, trying to steady his voice. “nope, nope, nope. you’re jay’s future wife. we can’t be a part of this madness,” he said, holding his hands up in surrender.

you huffed dramatically, pretending to give in. “fine, i guess you’re right.” a pause hung in the air before you slyly added, “besides, i don’t think you could keep up with me anyway.”

jake’s jaw dropped, his expression a mix of offense and disbelief. “okay, now that was just uncalled for,” he protested, pointing a finger at you like he was scolding you.

you leaned in closer, locking eyes with him, your voice soft yet teasing. “you sure about that?”

“as if jay can,” he scoffed, laughing at his own joke. “but yeah, i’m sure. besides, like i said, you’re practically the future mother of his kids, and—”

“okay, that’s enough,” you cut him off quickly, unable to handle the forwardness of his words. “can we please stop talking about jay for one sec—”

heesung interrupted, grinning like he’d just uncovered some big secret. “guys, i think jay’s busy with his other future wife.”

you and jake froze, immediately following heesung’s gaze. sure enough, jay was leaning casually against a wall, unfazed as a girl who was far too enthusiastic leaned in closer, laughing and touching his arm a little too much for your liking.

“nah,” jake laughed, breaking the tension, “he looks mad uncomfortable"

“damn though, how does he get all the girls while i stay bitchless?” heesung muttered, still focused on jay and the overly eager girl practically draping herself over him.

jake chuckled, but you couldn’t resist poking at heesung. “i just gave you the opportunity of a lifetime, hee,” you teased, referring to your earlier playful flirting, as heesung remained captivated by the unfolding scene of jay and the mystery girl.

he finally tore his gaze away, smirking mischievously. “if jay gave me the green light, i wouldn’t even hesitate, gorgeous,” he shot back smoothly, his words bold and his tone dripping with confidence. he added a wink for good measure, which only made you laugh.

“heesung!” you exclaimed, your voice half-scolding, half-amused.

jake groaned, shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. “seriously, man? and no, jay would never allow it. neither would i.”

“a guy can dream, can’t he?” heesung shrugged nonchalantly, but the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips made it clear he wasn’t entirely serious. when he noticed the way you and jake were looking at him, though, he quickly backtracked. “what? come on, guys, i’m joking!”

your gaze shifted back to jay, who was still caught in the same uncomfortable interaction. the girl was leaning far too close, her giggles annoyingly loud, and you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of jealousy in your chest. not that you’d ever admit it to them. instead, you waved it off casually.

“well, hope he has fun with her,” you said breezily, already trying to steer the conversation elsewhere. you weren’t about to let them notice the little twinge of irritation creeping in. besides, comparing his body language with you and her, jay truly was different with you. his smiles, his touches, his attention—it all felt more genuine when it was directed your way. that alone was enough to ease your nerves.

“are you crazy? go save your man!” jake urged, his voice insistent.

“he’ll be fine,” you replied, brushing it off with a casual shrug, though the sight of the girl inching closer made your stomach twist just a bit more.

a pause hung between you before heesung spoke up, his voice lowering conspiratorially. “you know... i heard from a very reliable source that jay likes it when a girl gets jealous...”

you raised an eyebrow, the skepticism clear on your face. “oh, does he now?”. it sounded out of character for jay. he was mature and grounded, the type of guy who would probably find possessiveness off-putting, or so you thought.

“seriously,” jake chimed in, nodding earnestly. “he thinks it’s hot when a girl gets territorial over him. like, it’s his thing or something.”

you hummed thoughtfully, swirling your drink. their sudden insistence felt suspicious, but you couldn’t deny the idea intrigued you.

“go,” heesung urged, motioning for you to stand up. his expression was equally playful and determined.

you sighed dramatically, leaning back against the couch as though the mere suggestion exhausted you. “what if i scare my number one hoe away?” you joked, your voice laced with sarcasm.

the boys burst into laughter but quickly recovered, their expressions shifting to something more earnest. jake shook his head. “nah, you’re good. he’s your hoe, and he knows it.”

their encouragement made you hesitate. part of you wanted to stand your ground, but the other part of you—the side that had been waiting for some kind of signal from jay—felt the push. maybe they were right. maybe this was the moment.

heesung, ever the instigator, leaned closer, his smirk teasing. “what, are you scared now? all that confidence earlier, and now you're pussying out?”

his words struck a nerve. without another thought, you grabbed your drink in one hand and reached for jay’s drink with the other, standing up with newfound purpose.

before heading off, you turned to them, narrowing your eyes in warning. “if this messes things up with jay because of your little scheme, we’re gonna have a serious problem.”

jake and heesung exchanged triumphant glances, their grins growing wide. “awh, so you do care about him,” jake teased softly, his voice dripping with adoration.

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at your lips as you turned and made your way toward jay. behind you, the boys exchanged triumphant looks, dapping each other up and eagerly shifting in their seats to get the best view of the chaos they’d just unleashed.

if you were sober right now, this would’ve been much harder. but walking through this high-end club with liquid courage warming your veins made it feel almost too easy. heads turned as you passed, lingering stares trailing over your figure. the way people looked at you—like you were the only person in the room—only fueled your confidence. but your eyes were locked on one person: jay.

every step you took toward him felt like a small victory, closing the distance between you two. your heart pounded in anticipation, but you pushed the feeling aside, focusing on your goal. the world around you blurred, the dim lights, music, and whispers fading into the background.

jay noticed you before you reached him. his expression shifted from mild confusion to relief, and finally, a soft, welcoming smile. he seemed caught off guard by your determined stride, as if trying to piece together why you were heading straight for him.

when you stopped in front of him, his gaze locked onto yours, his dark eyes searching your face. without missing a beat, you offered him a warm smile and extended his drink—the one you’d deliberately taken earlier to sell the illusion. “babe, what took you so long?” you teased, your tone light but purposeful, laced with playful mischief.

jay blinked, taking the drink from you, his brows furrowing slightly. before he could question you, you slid your arm around his back, your fingers brushing the fabric of his shirt as you pulled yourself closer. leaning in, your lips pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. the simple act was sweet, innocent even, but the way your lips lingered for just a second longer than necessary made it impossible for him to dismiss.

he. was. stunned.

his body stiffened slightly under your touch, and as you leaned back, you caught the way his jaw subtly tensed, his lips parted in shock. the confident exterior jay always carried faltered, and the rare sight of him flustered filled you with a quiet satisfaction.

you turned your attention to the girl standing beside him, who had gone completely silent. she stared at you, her expression uncertain, her confidence visibly shaken. you extended your hand toward her, your movements poised and deliberate. “hi, i’m y/n,” you said smoothly, your tone polite but firm, like you were both introducing yourself and reminding her of your place beside jay.

the girl hesitated, glancing between you and jay before awkwardly shaking your hand. she mumbled her name in response, her voice lacking the boldness she’d shown just moments earlier.

you took a slow sip of your drink, studying her with a small smile. “oh, was i interrupting something?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, your tone feigning innocence but carrying an undercurrent of teasing.

before she could answer, jay’s voice cut in. “no, of course not,” he said firmly, his gaze flicking to you, his tone making it clear that your presence wasn’t unwelcome.

the girl, however, looked like she wanted to argue, her lips parting before snapping shut again. she fidgeted awkwardly before finally speaking. “oh, um, i guess i’ll see you around, jay,” she said, her tone quieter now, unsure.

you watched her turn to leave, noting the stiffness in her stride as she hurried back to her friends, who immediately erupted into cheers and claps. the scene was almost laughable, but your attention was drawn back to jay, who had relaxed against the wall. his signature smirk slowly returned, his eyes fixed on you with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine.

“why’d you do all that?” he asked, his voice low and teasing, yet there was a hint of something deeper—curiosity, maybe even hope.

“what?” you replied, your voice casual as you leaned against the wall beside him. “you looked uncomfortable.”

jay chuckled softly, shaking his head. “bullshit,” he said, his smirk widening.

“oh, so you weren’t?” you shot back, your eyebrow raising in challenge.

his silence spoke volumes. his eyes, dark and focused, roamed your face, lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze again.

“were you jealous?” he asked finally, his voice dipping lower, the smirk never leaving his face.

your heart skipped a beat, but you refused to let him see how easily he got under your skin. instead, you rolled your eyes, a smirk of your own forming. “did you want her all over you like that?”

jay’s expression shifted slightly, the teasing glint in his eyes sharpening into something more serious, more deliberate. without warning, he pushed himself off the wall, closing the distance between you in a single step.

his free hand found your waist, the warmth of his palm searing through the thin fabric of your dress. “so…” he murmured, his voice a mix of challenge and seduction. his fingers brushed against the curve of your hip, slow and deliberate. “you wouldn’t be jealous if i was this close to her?”

his lips hovered near your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “if i touched her like this?” he continued, his hand sliding lower, his fingertips grazing the small of your back.

“if i kissed her?” his voice dropped further, his lips brushing your neck, the faintest, softest touch that sent a wave of heat flooding through you.

your breath hitched, your body betraying you as a sharp jolt of desire coiled low in your stomach. his scent surrounded you—woodsy, rich, and utterly intoxicating. your knees felt weak, and you gripped your drink tighter, the only thing keeping you steady.

jay pulled back slightly, his eyes scanning your face, waiting for your response. “hm?” he prompted, his tone daring, his smirk back in full force.

you swallowed hard, struggling to regain control. his presence was overwhelming, every inch of him drawing you closer, making it impossible to think straight. but you weren’t going to let him win so easily.

locking eyes with him, you returned his daring stare. “we both know who you’re taking home tonight,” you said, your voice low, steady, and full of confidence.

his eyebrow quirked, intrigued by your defiance. “that doesn’t answer my question, baby,” he murmured, the pet name rolling off his tongue with a smoothness that sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through you.

you inhaled deeply, trying to steady your breathing. “i think you already know the answer,” you whispered.

“i want to hear you say it,” he demanded softly, his voice laced with authority.

you let out a shaky breath, your walls finally crumbling. “you make me crazy,” you admitted, the words barely audible.

his hand slid lower, his fingers teasing the curve of your ass as he leaned in closer. “is that so?” he whispered, his tone dripping with satisfaction.

but you weren’t done. your hand lifted, fingers trailing along his neck, down his chest, and lower, stopping just above his belt. gripping the leather lightly, you tugged him closer, your lips brushing his ear. “take me home and find out,” you murmured, your voice sultry and filled with promise.

jay’s eyes darkened, his jaw clenching slightly as his gaze dropped to your lips. for a moment, it felt like the world stopped, the tension between you crackling like electricity.

without another word, he pulled back, his phone already in his hand. “bet,” he said simply, his voice steady but his eyes still burning as he stepped around the corner to order a cab.

you leaned back against the wall, your heart racing, your skin still tingling from his touch. this was new—this was something neither of you could ignore. and as the anticipation bubbled in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile, knowing the night was far from over.

as jay disappeared around the corner to order the cab, you leaned back against the wall, attempting to steady your racing heart. his touch lingered like a trail of fire on your skin, and you couldn’t shake the way his voice—low, teasing, and possessive—had made you feel utterly weak. you took another sip of your drink, the coolness doing little to extinguish the heat that had spread through your body.

your gaze wandered, and it didn’t take long to find jake and heesung. they were still on the couch where you’d left them, and the moment your eyes met theirs, you regretted looking their way.

they were putting on a full-blown performance, clearly reenacting what little they’d witnessed of your interaction with jay.

jake had an arm slung dramatically around heesung’s shoulders, doing his best impression of your earlier actions. heesung batted his eyelashes, clutching an imaginary drink as he leaned into jake.

“oh, stop, i’m blushing!” heesung teased, pretending to giggle as he tilted his head like he was expecting a kiss on the cheek. jake leaned in with exaggerated slowness, and the two burst into laughter before they could even finish the mock kiss.

it didn’t end there. heesung suddenly straightened up, pulling an invisible belt like he’d seen you do with jay, his action dripping with playful exaggeration. jake let out a cackle, wheezing, barely able to contain himself.

their antics caught the attention of a few people around them, who were now glancing over and chuckling at their over-the-top performance.

you groaned inwardly, rolling your eyes. of course they’d turn what little they saw into something absurd. but as ridiculous as they were, you couldn’t help the small smile creeping onto your face.

jake was the first to notice you watching. his grin widened, and he immediately elbowed heesung, nodding in your direction. they both froze, their expressions turning comically innocent like they hadn’t just been clowning you moments earlier.

it didn’t last long. heesung gave you an exaggerated thumbs-up, his grin shameless.

“you’re welcome!” he yelled across the room, loud enough for you to hear clearly over the music.

you sighed, lifting your hand to flip them off with a slow, deliberate motion.

jake clutched his chest in offense, gasping dramatically, throwing himself against heesung like he’d been struck. heesung shook his head, laughing, clearly enjoying the moment far too much.

you rolled your eyes, unable to hold back the grin that tugged at your lips. no matter how much they teased, you knew they’d be cheering you on the whole way through. with one last amused glance at their ridiculous display, you turned your focus back to the moment ahead.

because as much as they enjoyed their antics, they didn’t know what had just transpired between you and jay. and judging by the fire still burning in your chest, you weren’t ready to share it with anyone just yet.

jay came back shortly after, his presence as confident as ever. “you ready?” he asked with a teasing smirk, his hand slipping effortlessly into yours. the simple gesture made your stomach flutter, but you masked it with a coy smile, letting him lead you back toward the couch.

as you approached, it was painfully obvious jake and heesung had been up to no good. they sat there pretending to have the world’s driest conversation about the “architectural integrity” of the club’s interior. their poorly hidden giggles betrayed them, and you could practically see the mischief radiating off them.

the moment their eyes landed on your intertwined hands, their mouths stretched into matching, shit-eating grins. they exchanged a quick look, clearly bursting with pride at their matchmaking success.

“we’re leaving,” jay announced nonchalantly, his tone cool and indifferent. “heading to y/n’s place.”

their grins widened, barely able to contain themselves.

“guysss,” jake whined dramatically, leaning forward with his chin in his hands. “don’t you wanna hang out with us a little longer? it’s been such a fun night.”

jay didn’t even blink. “don’t ask dumb questions,” he said flatly, leaving jake mock-offended as he clutched his chest and let out an exaggerated gasp.

“wow, okay, guess we’re just chopped liver now,” heesung chimed in, shaking his head as if deeply betrayed.

you giggled, amused at their dramatics, as you walked around the table to grab your purse. but before you could escape, the boys were on their feet, ready to send you off with one last round of chaos.

heesung clapped jay on the back and said goodbye with a knowing smirk, but it was jake who went in for the kill.

as you bent down to pick up your bag, jake leaned in close, his voice low and teasing. “be a good girl, yeah?”

you froze for half a second before whipping your head around to give him a sharp look. “jake,” you warned, your tone laced with disbelief.

he laughed, brushing it off like he hadn’t just said something that would replay in your mind for the rest of the night. before you could respond, he pulled you into a suffocating hug, swaying you side to side like an overly affectionate big brother.

“jake,” you groaned, your voice strained. “if you don’t let me go, i’m gonna throw up all over your ridiculously overpriced suit.”

he released you immediately, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “fine, fine,” he said with a grin. “but you owe me for being such a great friend.”

jay shook his head, amused, as he stepped forward to dap up jake. meanwhile, you turned to heesung, who was already smirking as he pulled you into a hug.

“do everything i’d do,” he muttered into your ear, his tone dripping with mischief.

you leaned back, raising an eyebrow. “hee, i think you’ve got that saying wrong.”

he shrugged, his grin widening. “nah, you heard me.”

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t help laughing. their antics were relentless.

as you turned to leave, heesung suddenly called out, “wait, jay—one more thing!”

jay sighed, already looking annoyed, but walked back over to him anyway.

heesung waved him closer, gesturing like he had some urgent, life-changing information to share. jay leaned down, and in one swift motion, heesung slipped something into his hand.

jay straightened up and opened his palm to reveal an xxl condom. your jaw dropped, and you clapped a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.

jay stared at the condom, then up at heesung, who was already grinning like a fool. jake was no better, nearly doubled over in silent laughter.

after a beat of silence, jay let out the most sarcastic laugh you’d ever heard, his expression deadpan as he raised his hand to dap up heesung.

heesung, thinking he’d succeeded in his prank, lifted his hand eagerly—only for jay to drop his own and toss the condom back at him with a straight face.

“you’re actually insane,” jay said, shaking his head in disbelief as he turned to grab your hand.

you couldn’t hold it in anymore, bursting into laughter as jay tried to pull you toward the exit.

“what, dude? we just don’t wanna be uncles yet!” jake called after you, his voice full of fake concern.

without missing a beat, you turned your head back to them and shouted, “don’t worry. i have my own!”

their laughter exploded as jay finally led you away, his own chuckle slipping out as he shook his head. your friends were a pain, but you couldn’t deny they’d played a part in making the night unforgettable.

stepping outside into the crisp night air, the chill brushed against your skin, but it wasn’t the cold that sent shivers down your spine. it was the situation. your mind, slightly hazy from the alcohol, began to clear as reality hit. this wasn’t just another playful night with jay. there was something electric about this moment—something that made your nerves buzz and your heart race. despite the countless teasing and bold words exchanged between you two, the idea of acting on them felt entirely new, thrilling, and terrifying.

jay noticed the goosebumps on your arms almost immediately. without hesitation, he slipped off his jacket, draping it over your shoulders. the weight of it, the lingering scent of his cologne, enveloped you, and your pulse quickened. it was a simple gesture, but the effect it had on you was anything but. little did he know the goosebumps weren’t from the cold—if anything, the alcohol had kept you warm—but from the thought of him, his touch, his presence.

“the cab’s going to be here in a couple of minutes,” he said softly, his voice cutting through the stillness of the night.

you nodded, leaning your back against the wrought iron fence in the dimly lit parking lot, your eyes trailing over him. jay looked impossibly handsome under the soft glow of the streetlights, his dark hair slightly tousled, his features sharp yet softened by the gentle lighting. you couldn’t help the smile tugging at your lips as you admired him openly.

“what?” he asked, his usual confident tone faltering slightly as your gaze lingered.

“nothing,” you replied with a grin, your voice light and teasing. “you’re just really handsome.”

he rolled his eyes, a soft laugh escaping him, but the faint blush dusting his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed. “you’re impossible,” he murmured, though the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth betrayed him.

he stepped closer, leaning his shoulder against the fence beside you. the proximity made your heart race, and when his eyes met yours again, the world seemed to slow down.

you shifted, turning your body fully to face him, the playful air between you giving way to something more vulnerable. “so,” you began, your voice softer now, “who was that girl really?”

jay raised an eyebrow, his smile growing wider. “so you were jealous.”

you quickly shook your head, though you couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped. “i wasn’t jealous. just curious,” you countered, though even you weren’t convinced by your own words.

he chuckled, his laugh warm and low, sending a shiver down your spine. “she was no one. honestly, she stopped me outside the bathroom and just started talking. i think her friends dared her or something—she kept glancing back at this group of girls, and they were all staring and giggling like maniacs.” he shook his head, laughing at the absurdity of it.

you snorted, the ridiculousness of the situation breaking through your earlier tension. “sounds like quite the encounter.”

his gaze shifted then, darkening slightly as his teasing tone faded. “but what about you?” he asked, his voice dropping. “why were jake and heesung being so flirty with you?”

you smirked, leaning in slightly. “now look who’s jealous.”

he scoffed, his hand brushing against yours as he closed the small gap between you. “of course i’m jealous. how could i not be?” his voice was lower now, his words deliberate and dripping with sincerity. “just look at you.”

you tilted your head, a teasing smile playing on your lips. “what can i say, jongseong? you’re one lucky man.”

his expression softened, his eyes scanning your face like he was memorizing every detail. “i am,” he admitted quietly. “you’re… unreal. like some angel who just fell out of the sky. i know it sounds cheesy, but… i’ve never felt like this before. not about anyone.”

his words hung in the air, their weight settling over you and making your chest tighten. you’d always known jay was smooth with words, but the raw honesty in his voice now was enough to leave you speechless.

“shit,” he muttered, his eyes dropping to your lips. he trailed off, but the way his body leaned into yours told you everything he didn’t say.

and then his lips were on yours, hot and insistent. the kiss was everything you’d imagined and more, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that made your knees weak. you responded immediately, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

his hand found your waist, gripping it firmly as his other braced against the fence behind you. the feel of his body pressed against yours, the heat radiating off him, was intoxicating. every nerve in your body seemed to light up under his touch, and when his teeth grazed your lower lip, a quiet moan slipped from you.

the sound seemed to embolden him, but before either of you could take it further, a car honked nearby, pulling you both out of the moment. you turned to see a sleek black car pulling up to the curb, the driver glancing your way with an unreadable expression.

jay let out a soft laugh, his forehead resting against yours for a brief moment before he pulled back slightly. “cab’s here,” he said, his voice still husky.

he took your hand, guiding you toward the car and opening the door for you. you slid in, rolling your eyes playfully at his gentlemanly ways but secretly loving every second of it. he climbed in after you, settling beside you and reaching over to buckle your seatbelt before you could. the small, intimate gesture made your heart flutter, and you leaned back into the seat, trying to compose yourself.

as the car pulled away, the tension between you two was palpable. the driver’s presence kept things quiet, but you could feel jay’s thigh pressing against yours, his hand resting dangerously close to your own.

“uh,” he began, clearing his throat awkwardly. “sorry if i was too forward back there. i—”

you cut him off with a quiet “shut up,” turning to him and pressing your lips to his once more.

jay stiffened briefly before relaxing, his hand finding its way to your thigh as you twisted to face him. the kiss deepened, your hands wandering over his chest, tracing the lines of his body. his fingers gripped your leg, sliding slightly upward, and your breath hitched at the contact.

you knew this was reckless, making out in the backseat of a cab with a stranger just feet away, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. all the tension that had built between you two over the past months was finally spilling over, and you weren’t about to stop.

jay groaned softly when your teeth grazed his lower lip, and the sound sent another wave of heat through you. your lips left his, trailing kisses along his jaw and down his neck, and he leaned back slightly, giving you better access. you were just about to leave a mark when the car came to a sudden stop.

the abrupt halt had you both groaning in frustration, and jay pulled out his wallet, handing the driver a wad of cash—far more than necessary. probably his way of apologizing for the awkward atmosphere you two had just created.

the driver nodded, clearly unimpressed but grateful for the generous tip. you climbed out of the car, jay’s hand finding yours again as he led you toward the entrance of your apartment complex. neither of you spoke, the tension still crackling between you, and you knew the night was far from over.

you rushed into the building, gripping jay’s hand tightly, your heels echoing against the floor as you practically dragged him toward the elevator. his fingers intertwined with yours, his palm warm and firm, grounding you even as anticipation buzzed through your veins. the cool air from outside had barely faded from your skin, but the heat between you two was already rekindling, more intense with every step. jay trailed close behind, his free hand brushing lightly against the small of your back, the touch sending sparks up your spine.

as soon as the elevator doors slid open, you stepped inside, your focus solely on the buttons as you pressed the one for your floor. jay, however, was far more interested in you than the machinery. the moment the doors closed, he moved behind you, his hands slipping around your waist to pull you against him. the action was gentle yet possessive, his lips already brushing the side of your neck.

“couldn’t wait until we got upstairs?” you teased breathlessly, tilting your head slightly to give him better access.

jay chuckled lowly, his voice a soft growl in your ear. “not when you look like this.” his lips pressed against the sensitive skin of your neck, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses from your jawline down to your shoulder. the heat of his breath and the softness of his lips left you shivering, though it had nothing to do with the air conditioning in the lift.

you let out a soft sigh, leaning your head back against his shoulder, your body molding itself against his. the faint scent of his cologne mingled with the lingering alcohol on his breath, a heady combination that made your thoughts blur. his hands began to roam, one slipping to rest on your hip while the other grazed the curve of your waist. each touch was slow and deliberate, as if he were trying to memorize every inch of you.

your breathing hitched when you felt his arousal pressing against your lower back. jay’s movements grew bolder, his lips finding a particularly sensitive spot on your neck that made you bite your lip to stifle a moan.

you spun around to face him, breaking his trail of kisses. the look in his eyes—dark and filled with need—made your stomach twist in the best way. before he could say anything else, you grabbed his collar, pulling him down for a kiss. it was immediate and desperate, your mouths moving together as though you were starved for each other. your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently, and the low groan he let out only fueled the fire building inside you.

just as his hands slid lower, grazing the curve of your ass, the elevator dinged, the doors sliding open to reveal your floor. reluctantly, you pulled back, your lips swollen and your breathing heavy. jay didn’t let go of you, though, his hand finding yours again as he guided you out of the elevator.

his steps faltered slightly as he looked down the wrong hallway. “this way, right?” he asked, glancing at you with an innocent smile.

you rolled your eyes, tugging him gently in the opposite direction. “wrong way, loverboy,” you teased, your voice light despite the tension simmering between you.

he chuckled softly, following your lead, though he couldn’t resist letting his gaze wander. walking behind you, his eyes drifted to the sway of your hips, and before he could stop himself, his hand reached out to deliver a light slap to your ass. you turned your head to glare at him, though the amused smile tugging at your lips gave you away..

as you approached your apartment door, you let go of jay’s hand, fishing through your purse for your keys. your fingers fumbled slightly, whether from the alcohol, the adrenaline, or jay’s wandering hands, which had returned to your waist, sliding over your curves with deliberate slowness. his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, and you could feel his smile against your skin.

“be patient,” you teased, glancing over your shoulder to meet his heated gaze. “i’m not going anywhere.”

jay let out a low chuckle, but his hands betrayed his growing impatience, gripping your hips tighter. finally, you managed to retrieve the keys, unlocking the door with a satisfying click. before you could step inside, jay pushed the door open, his movements swift as he guided you in and closed it behind you. the door locked with a decisive snap, and just like that, the tension between you reignited.

his lips were on yours in an instant, the kiss messy and frantic. your fingers tangled in his hair, tugging just hard enough to draw a low growl from him, while his hands roamed freely, exploring every inch of you he could reach. you were drowning in him, lost in the heat of his touch and the intoxicating pull of his lips.

but just as your fingers found the buckle of his belt, jay abruptly pulled back, his hands falling to his sides as he stepped back slightly. the look on his face was one of hesitation, his brows furrowed as though he was wrestling with himself.

“are you okay?” you asked softly, your chest still heaving as you tried to catch your breath.

jay ran a hand through his hair, avoiding your gaze for a moment. “i just… are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, his voice quieter now. “we’re drunk… i just… i want our first time to be special.” his words were hesitant, uncharacteristically shy for someone usually so confident.

you blinked at him, his concerns sinking in. part of you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it—after all, you knew exactly what you wanted, and it was him. but the sincerity in his eyes stopped you. he wasn’t just stalling for the sake of it; he truly cared.

he hesitated again, looking away as if he were afraid of your reaction. “i just don’t want this to mess things up between us. i don’t want you to regret it in the morning.”

you sighed, slipping off his jacket and hanging it neatly on a hook before toeing off your heels. “if you think that’s best, then we don’t have to do anything,” you said, stepping closer and cupping his face in your hands. “i trust you, jay.”

but despite your calm words, frustration simmered beneath the surface. he had left you on the edge, your body practically vibrating with need, and now he wanted to stop? you couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry at how ridiculous the situation was. still, you respected him too much to push.

jay bit his lip, his expression torn. “it’s not that i don’t want to,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. “trust me, i’ve never wanted anything more. but…” he trailed off, his eyes darting to the floor before meeting yours again. his teasing smirk returned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “how about we pick this up tomorrow? first thing in the morning?”

you raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed but choosing not to argue. instead, you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “sure,” you murmured, though your tone betrayed your irritation.

you walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, trying to cool off in more ways than one. jay followed, leaning against the counter in silence. his jaw was tense, his eyes focused on some distant point as though deep in thought. it was clear he was second-guessing his decision, his discomfort only heightened by the obvious strain in his pants.

you smirked, an idea forming in your mind. setting your glass down, you leaned over the kitchen island, deliberately arching your back to give him a perfect view of your ass. the action snapped him out of his thoughts, his eyes darkening as they locked onto you.

“i’m going to take a shower,” you said casually, flipping your hair over your shoulder to expose your neck—the same neck he had been so eager to mark earlier.

jay’s lips parted as if to say something, but he remained silent, his gaze fixed on you.

you started to walk away, throwing one last smirk over your shoulder. “goodnight, loverboy,” you teased.

“wait,” he called out, his voice strained.

you turned, feigning innocence. “yes?”

he hesitated, his fists clenching at his sides. “are you sure… we’re on the same page?”

you bit back a laugh, recognizing his internal struggle for what it was. stepping closer, you looked up at him, your lips curving into a sly smile. “sure,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm. “but honestly? i think you’re all talk.”

the words hit their mark, his jaw tightening as his ego flared. “fuck you,” he hissed, before pulling you against him, his lips crashing down on yours once more. his hand found your jaw, tilting your head to the side as he resumed his assault on your neck, this time with more intensity.

you grinned in success. finally, nothing was standing in your way.

he captured your lips again, his hands firm yet gentle as he guided you backward until the couch pressed against the back of your knees. without breaking the kiss, jay’s fingers skillfully found the zipper of your dress, pulling it down in one smooth motion. the fabric fell from your shoulders, pooling at your feet to reveal the black lace lingerie you’d chosen earlier that night. he pulled away momentarily, his gaze sweeping over your figure with a mix of admiration and desire.

as he began trailing kisses back toward your lips, his mouth left a burning path along your skin—starting at your thighs, teasingly brushing against your clothed heat, moving to your stomach, breasts, collarbones, and finally back to your neck. each kiss was slow and deliberate, as though he wanted to savor every inch of you. he unclasped your bra, sliding it off and tossing it carelessly to the floor before his eyes returned to your bare chest.

jay’s lips parted slightly, and for a moment, he just stared, taking in the sight of you completely exposed before him. a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. “you’re just too perfect, aren’t you?” he murmured, his hands cupping your breasts, his thumbs brushing lightly over your sensitive peaks. “seriously, how the fuck did i get this lucky?”

his lips found your skin again, marking you as though he were leaving a map of his journey across your body. you rolled your eyes at his teasing, though a smirk of your own played on your lips.

“maybe i’m the lucky one,” you shot back, sliding your hands beneath his sweater and tugging it over his head, revealing his toned chest. the sight of his defined muscles had your pulse racing, but you didn’t let it distract you. with newfound determination, you moved to unbuckle his belt, picking up where you’d left off in the heat of the moment earlier. in one swift motion, you pulled his pants and boxers down together, his erection springing free.

the size of him caught you off guard, your eyes widening slightly as you connected the dots about the xxl condom heeseung had teased him about. jay noticed your reaction and let out a low chuckle, his confidence only growing. “looks like i wasn’t the only one talking a big game,” he teased, his smirk widening.

your gaze snapped back to his, a spark of determination flaring in your chest. you were going to prove him wrong. you sank to your knees in front of him, your fingers brushing against his thighs as you prepared to take him in your mouth, but before you could, he grabbed your waist, lifting you effortlessly and laying you back onto the couch.

“you first, princess,” he said, the nickname sending a shiver through you. he grinned at the way your body seemed to melt beneath his touch, leaning down to kiss your lips one more time before shifting lower.

his hands found the sides of your hips, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and sliding them down your legs. the cool air against your bare skin only heightened your anticipation as he tossed the fabric aside. his gaze lingered on your glistening core, and he let out a low groan.

“fuck, you’re flawless,” he murmured, his voice thick with desire. “and so fucking wet.”

“just for you, seongie,” you teased, the nickname making his head tilt slightly as he bit his lip. the effect it had on him was clear, and you took advantage of it, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling him closer. “don’t make me wait,” you whispered impatiently.

jay’s tongue traced a slow, deliberate line along your slit, and the sensation had your body trembling almost instantly. he smiled against you, the vibration of his amusement only adding to the intensity. his lips wrapped around your most sensitive spot, sucking gently before his tongue began working in circles. your back arched involuntarily, a string of soft moans spilling from your lips.

“jay,” you managed to mumble, though your voice was barely audible over the sound of your own heartbeat. hearing his name roll off your tongue so sweetly made him hum in response, the added stimulation pushing you closer to the edge.

the knot in your stomach tightened, your body reacting to every flick and stroke of his tongue. an idea sparked in your mind, and with a shaky breath, you tugged lightly at his hair, pulling him back just enough to speak. his face was glistening with your slick, his lips swollen and his pupils blown wide. he looked utterly wrecked—and you hadn’t even touched him yet.

“touch yourself,” you said breathlessly, your voice laced with both a command and a plea.

his lips curled into a smirk, but he didn’t hesitate. one hand disappeared between his legs as he dove back in, his tongue working you over with renewed vigor. the combination of his moans and yours filled the room, each sound pushing you both closer to your breaking points. your hips bucked against his face, seeking more, and he didn’t hold back, gripping your thighs to keep you steady as he devoured you.

the tension in your core finally snapped, and your release crashed over you in waves, your body trembling as you cried out his name. jay groaned against you, his movements slowing as he licked you clean, savoring every drop of your climax. his own hand stilled, though it was clear he was still achingly hard.

when he pulled back, his face was flushed, his lips parted as he caught his breath. his gaze locked onto yours, his eyes dark with unspoken need.

you reached out, brushing your fingers against his jaw. “my turn,” you murmured, a mischievous glint in your eye.

jay leaned back against the couch, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. a satisfied smirk played on his lips, a mixture of pride and disbelief settling in as he replayed the last few minutes in his mind. he couldn’t help but feel impressed with himself for holding it together as long as he had—especially considering how hard it was not to lose control the moment you kissed him in the cab. inwardly, he gave himself a silent pat on the back.

you, however, weren’t finished. sitting up on shaky legs, you closed the gap between you, capturing his lips in a heated kiss. it was messy and unrestrained, your tongue brushing against his as you tasted yourself on his lips. the act alone sent another wave of arousal through your body, and jay groaned into the kiss, his fingers grazing your jaw to pull you closer.

breaking the kiss, you slid down onto your knees in front of him. jay’s dark eyes followed you, his body tense with anticipation as his chest heaved. his gaze was heavy, and you could see the thin layer of sweat glistening on his skin. he leaned back into the couch, spreading his legs slightly to give you better access. the weight of his arousal was evident, his cock flushed and rigid, standing tall between his thighs.

you started slow, trailing light kisses along the inside of his thighs. his muscles twitched under your touch, and a low groan escaped his lips. your fingers wrapped around his length, stroking him gently as you worked your way closer. jay tilted his head back, his eyes fluttering shut as he let the sensation wash over him. but that wasn’t what you wanted. you wanted his attention—all of it.

you paused abruptly, releasing him from your grasp. his eyes snapped open, the confusion and slight panic evident as he looked down at you. “what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice husky and laced with concern.

you tilted your head, your tone firm but teasing as you commanded, “look at me.”

jay’s brows furrowed, and a soft, involuntary moan slipped from his lips. there was something about the dominance in your voice, the way you took control, that drove him wild. “yes, ma’am,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes locking with yours.

satisfied with his obedience, you resumed your teasing, your tongue flicking out to lick a slow line from the base of his shaft to the tip. your movements were deliberate, your eyes never leaving his as you circled the sensitive head with your tongue, tasting the salty bead of precum that had already formed. his breath hitched, and his hands clenched at his sides as he fought to keep himself grounded.

when you finally took him into your mouth, jay’s hand instinctively found its way to your hair. he gathered it into a ponytail, his grip firm yet careful, as though he were afraid of hurting you. you started slow, taking as much of him as you could manage, though his size made it a challenge. your cheeks hollowed as you sucked, and jay let out a deep groan, his hips shifting slightly.

“fuck,” he muttered, his voice strained as he tried to keep himself in check. but the sight of you on your knees, your lips wrapped around him, was too much. his resolve was crumbling, and he knew it.

each time you slid him deeper into your mouth, the tip of his cock brushed against the back of your throat, making you gag softly. jay noticed your struggle and let out a low chuckle, his voice tinged with both amusement and lust. “you’re doing so good, baby,” he praised, his hand gently guiding your movements as he pushed and pulled on your hair.

you used one hand to stroke the length you couldn’t take, your movements synchronized with the bobbing of your head. occasionally, you pulled back to catch your breath, your hand continuing to work him as you pressed kisses and sucked lightly along his length, teasing him further. jay was a mess, his lips parted as he panted, his head falling back against the couch. his other hand gripped the cushion tightly as he tried to keep himself together.

“let me hear you, jay,” you murmured, your voice soft but commanding. “don’t hold it back.”

his head snapped back up at your words, his dark eyes meeting yours as he finally let go. a string of deep, guttural moans poured from his lips, each one making your core tighten with need. the sounds of his pleasure were addictive, spurring you on as you sucked harder, your cheeks hollowing to intensify the sensation.

you quickened your pace, your hand and mouth working together seamlessly. jay’s grip on your hair tightened slightly, his hips bucking up involuntarily as he lost himself in the pleasure. “fuck, baby, i’m close,” he warned, his voice shaky and breathless.

with one final swirl of your tongue around his tip and a firm stroke of your hand, jay’s body tensed. his release came in hot, thick spurts down your throat, and you swallowed every drop without hesitation. his moans echoed through the room, raw and unrestrained, as his body shuddered from the intensity of his climax.

you pulled back slowly, licking your lips and catching any stray drops that had escaped. jay looked completely wrecked, his chest heaving as he tried to regain his composure. his head lolled back against the couch, and his eyes fluttered shut as a satisfied groan escaped his lips.

but you weren’t done. the ache between your legs was unbearable, and the sight of jay so undone only made it worse. your thighs pressed together instinctively, trying to find some relief, but it wasn’t enough.

jay opened his eyes, his gaze heavy with exhaustion but still laced with hunger. he noticed the way you were squirming, your need evident in the way you looked at him. a lazy smirk spread across his face. “looks like someone needs a little more attention,” he teased, his voice low and teasing. you bit your lip, your cheeks flushing slightly as you nodded.

jay reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek before trailing down your body. “then let me take care of you,” he murmured, his smirk shifting into a soft, genuine smile.

jay smirked at the match of energy you gave him, his hands resting on your hips as you slowly adjusted yourself in his lap to straddle him. your eyes locked, the unspoken tension in the air making your breaths heavier before you leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss that was far more heated than the ones before. it was raw, passionate, and both of you couldn’t help the soft moans that escaped into each other's mouths as you tasted the combined remnants of yourselves on each other’s tongues.

his hands traveled down your body, settling on your ass and squeezing firmly. the action made you gasp against his lips, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss further. when he broke away, he trailed his lips back down to your chest, focusing his attention on your breasts once more, kissing, sucking, and lightly biting the sensitive flesh. sweet hums slipped from your lips as your fingers tangled in his hair, keeping him exactly where you wanted him.

you started grinding against him slowly, your arousal evident as you rubbed yourself along his length, desperate for more. jay groaned into your skin, his hands moving to hold your hips firmly in place. one of his hands slid down between your thighs, his fingers finding your clit and circling it softly, the touch sending jolts of electricity through your body.

you pulled his lips back to yours for another deep, messy kiss, the moan in your throat muffled as you whispered, “please, jay.”

he froze for a moment, your plea echoing in his mind. he didn’t even need you to beg, but hearing those words fall from your lips so willingly ignited something deep inside him. "fuck, princess," he murmured against your lips before leaning forward to reach for his pants, holding you steady with one hand so you wouldn’t fall back.

jay pulled out a condom from his pocket, his lips quirking into a grin. you laughed softly, tilting your head back. “how ironic,” you teased. “i was wondering why you didn’t take the ones from hee earlier. now i guess i know why.”

he laughed against your shoulder, his breath warm on your skin. “you’re making me look crazy, like i planned this whole thing from the start.”

you bit your lip, trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably. “you didn’t?” you asked, feigning offense.

“it spawned in my pocket, okay? end of topic,” he quipped, his grin wide. “now kiss me and forget we even had this conversation.”

you shook your head, laughing, but complied, leaning in to kiss him deeply as he fumbled to open the condom behind your back. once it was ready, he leaned back slightly, rolling it on before meeting your gaze.

placing your hands on his shoulders, you slowly lifted yourself, adjusting to align yourself with him. the anticipation built as you began to lower yourself, his tip stretching you inch by inch. you both groaned at the overwhelming sensation, your tightness making it difficult to take him in completely.

jay’s hand came up to stroke your head gently, his thumb brushing soothingly along your temple. “slow down, princess,” he murmured, his tone soft and reassuring. “i’m not going anywhere.”

his words sent a wave of calm through you, allowing you to relax and adjust. a small giggle escaped your lips, and jay smirked at the sound, pleased to see you loosening up. with a deep breath, you lowered yourself fully, gasping as he filled you completely. his hands settled back on your hips, his eyes scanning your face for any sign of discomfort.

“you’re doing so good, baby,” he praised, his voice filled with genuine admiration. the way he said it, so sweet and sincere, made you lean forward and kiss him again, your lips pressing against his in a needy, desperate way. slowly, you began to move, grinding yourself up and down his length.

the initial sting of pain dissolved into pure pleasure as you found your rhythm, your hips rolling fluidly against him. jay met your movements halfway, his own hips snapping up to match your pace. his grip on your waist tightened as his other hand trailed up to cup your breast, his thumb brushing over your sensitive nipple.

the sounds in the room were sinful—breathless moans, gasps, and the slick sound of your bodies meeting in perfect harmony. your brows furrowed, your lips parting as waves of pleasure rippled through you. jay cursed under his breath at the sight of you, his own restraint faltering as he felt his release creeping closer.

“fuck, you’re perfect,” he groaned, leaning forward to capture your lips once again. his lips trailed down your jawline to your neck, where he nipped and kissed, leaving faint marks behind. the added sensation made you tremble, and your movements quickened, your thighs burning as you chased your high.

jay’s fingers found your clit again, rubbing circles against it in time with your thrusts. the overwhelming pleasure sent you over the edge, a loud, broken moan escaping your lips as you came undone. jay wasn’t far behind, his grip on your hips tightening as he buried himself deep inside you, releasing with a guttural groan.

you collapsed against his chest, both of you struggling to catch your breath as you came down from the high. your foreheads rested together, your sweaty skin sticking slightly as you shared soft, lazy kisses. the silence that followed was peaceful, filled with nothing but the sound of your heavy breathing.

jay broke the quiet first, his voice soft and unsure. “be my girlfriend?”

you laughed lightly, lifting your head to look at him. “you should’ve asked that before we had sex,” you teased, your tone playful.

jay’s face lit up with laughter, his deep chuckles shaking both of your bodies. “okay, fair,” he admitted, nodding. “may i be your boyfriend, then?” he asked again, this time with a slight pout that made your heart flutter.

you smirked, pretending to think it over. “you’re getting closer…”

he tilted his head, pretending to be deep in thought before blurting out, “be my wife.”

you laughed, poking his chest. “that’s a little forward, don’t you think?” you teased. then, softening, you added, “but… yes.”

jay’s eyes lit up, and he pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss, his hands cradling your face as he grinned against your lips. the moment was interrupted by the sharp sound of a phone ringing. jay groaned in frustration, leaning back to grab his phone from where it had fallen in his pants.

when he checked the screen, both of your eyes locked on the caller ID. “cupids' worst minion?” you giggled, amused at the nickname.

jay sighed. “jake,” he muttered, earning a laugh from you. “he’s the worst at giving advice... but i guess it worked out. might have to rethink that nickname later.”

he answered the call, putting it on speaker. “oh, god, jay, you picked up?” jake’s voice came through, laced with panic. “i don’t know if that’s a good sign.”

you giggled as jay rolled his eyes. in the background, you could hear faint laughter and the unmistakable voices of the rest of the group. “ayo, you busy right now?” jungwon’s voice cut through, and you both exchanged amused looks.

“kinda, yeah,” jay replied, smirking at you.

“okay, i’ll be quick,” jungwon said hurriedly. “how’s it going with your future wife? hee and jake told us everything—details and all—and i’m losing it. give us an update!”

both you and jay burst into laughter, the sound making the other line fall silent. jay smirked at the phone. “yeah, we’re locked in,” he said confidently.

silence followed for a beat before the loudest cheering erupted from the other end. you and jay laughed along with them, the sound of your shared joy filling the room.

[goingmerryfics]

HELLO!!! sorry if I request again because I really like how you write😔👊, I come with another request, something that I saw once in a fanfic and I loved the idea, it could be any other character you want but I see it more in Sanji (don't let it be obvious that I'm a Sanji lover HAHAH) well the issue is discovering that the character always carries with him a photo of gn!reader, whether it is a photo of them or the wanted poster of gn!reader

Carrying My Love With Me - Sanji, Shachi, Bartolomeo

Content: SFW, these boys are in love with you, strawhat reader in Barto’s, only Sanji’s is an explicit established relationship

Notes* Noooo please don’t apologize I love getting engagement :D and I finally get a prompt that I feel is perfect for my boy Barto!!

Sanji

Sanji is not shy at all about his picture of you that he keeps in his jacket pocket

He absolutely adores looking at you and your cute face, so when he has any excuse to pull that picture out, he does

He’ll use your photo to brag about you to other men all the time, claiming that you’re all his

That photo would always be in pristine condition, never letting anyone take it from him and making sure it doesn’t get destroyed after a battle

He would also pull it out anytime when he feels down, using your face as motivation in his dark times- even if it’s just him sulking over something

He takes out the photo while he’s cooking and sets it somewhere in sight. He talks to himself a lot as he cooks, so having your photo there makes him feel a little less silly

He promises your photo that he’s making this meal with love, and that he wishes he could share it with you

He does get a little embarrassed the next time he sees you and the crew rats on him about the photo, though

But after you’re reassurance that you think it’s sweet, he melts in your arms all over again, just like he always does

Shachi

What Shachi keeps with him is a picture of the two of you together

He hides it in his pillowcase, not wanting anyone to find it and make fun of him

He’s weirdly sensitive about the crew thinking he’s soft or something

But when you’re not around, it’s nice to have a piece of you nearby to hang onto

He pulls it out when he’s alone just to look at you- to study your eyes and the shape of your nose with a goofy little smile on his face

When people are around or he just wants to hold onto something while he’s lying down, he’ll put his arm into his pillow case and just hold onto the picture with his eyes closed, picturing you beside him, pretending he’s got you in his arms

Shachi is a romantic, he’s just too ashamed to admit it

The day Penguin is on laundry duty, he finds it and teases his friend relentlessly about it, holding it up in the dining hall and loudly proclaiming that he didn’t know his best friend had a girlfriend, and how could he not share this information?

A lot of chaos ensues, and after some teasing he snatches it back possessively

Bartolomeo

With you being a Strawhat, of course he’s got your wanted poster hung up in his room!

Luffy and his crew are his number one, and he loves Luffy, but you and him definitely had a special kind of relationship

Anytime you two meet, there’s always flirting involved

More from you than him, because he’s losing his mind with each compliment and sexual innuendo that comes out of your mouth

He didn’t expect that when he’d met you at first and went wild, swearing up and down that he’d do anything you asked just to hear your heavenly voice speaking like that again

So that picture is special to him, and he ends up fawning over it quite often- especially whenever he feels like he misses you

He rants to the crew all about how much he loves you to anyone that will lend him an ear (and to those who don’t, as well if there are anyone like that on the crew)

You make sure to sign it next time

[lvnleah]

first day of school.

Finley’s first day of school 🥲

find the series masterlist here!

September 2028 | 4 years old. 

“I can’t believe it,” Leah whispered as you fed Ellie in bed, her hand resting on the tiny 3-week-old's head. “Our bubba is off to big school.”

You sighed, “I know. It doesn’t feel real, does it? Feels like yesterday he was just Ellie’s size.”

Leah laughed softly, her fingers gently brushing the blonde hair that Ellie had at the back of her neck, “Times just flown by.”

Just then, Finley came bursting into the room, his tiny feet thumping on the wooden floor as he ran excitedly. 

"I'm ready! I'm ready for school!" he announced, “Is it time to get yet?”

“Slow down, Fin!” You laughed, “You still need to get dressed and have breakfast.”

Leah laughed and reached out, motioning for him to come closer. “Come here, bubba.”

Finley climbed onto the bed and nestled into Leah's lap, still fidgeting with excitement. She placed a kiss onto his forehead as he settled onto her lap. 

"You’re excited, huh?" Leah smiled, brushing his messy hair back. 

Finley nodded. “Yeah! I’m gonna make lots of friends, and we’re gonna play, and the teacher’s gonna show us so many things!”

You smiled, watching Leah interact with Finley while Ellie’s tiny fingers grasped your shirt. "You’re going to have such a good time, buddy," you said softly. 

Finley beamed, his face lighting up. "Yeah! And can I take my backpack today?"

"Of course, we packed it last night, remember?" Leah replied, smoothing out his pyjamas. "But first, breakfast. Big kids need lots of energy."

Finley nodded seriously, already shifting off Leah's lap. "Can I have pancakes?"

"Why not?" you chuckled, carefully adjusting Ellie as she started to stir. 

Leah smiled as she got out of bed, placing a kiss on your temple. “I’ll make them. You finish with Els.”

Finley bounced on his feet. "Pancakes! Yay!" He ran out of the room again, his excitement infectious.

Leah laughed softly, shaking her head. "He’s going to be wiped out by noon at this rate."

You smiled, watching her disappear down the hall after him. Turning your attention back to Ellie, you gently stroked her cheek. “Looks like it’s just you and me for a little while longer, huh?”

Ellie made a soft coo, her eyes fluttering open briefly before settling back into sleep. You took a deep breath, savouring the quiet moment, knowing how fast time was moving with Finley already starting school. 

Your emotions were all over the place and it didn’t help that you were three weeks postpartum so your hormones added to everything you were feeling. 

You found yourself blinking back a few tears, not entirely sure if it was your hormones or the emotions of the day or both. You weren’t sure how you’d gotten to this moment so fast. 

It felt like yesterday you were crying over your body changing when Finley was just a tiny newborn. It felt like yesterday you were only celebrating his very first birthday and Leah’s 29th. Your baby boy was growing up and all you wanted to do was pause the time and keep him this little for a little longer. 

Although he’d been in preschool for over a year now, you were still anxious over him starting reception. It was only going to be three days a week until he was settled, then it would be full-time every day. It was his last year before his proper education began and you couldn’t help but worry about your baby. 

Once Ellie was finished feeding, you carefully placed her in her bassinet beside the bed. After wiping your eyes, you took a deep breath and gave yourself a few seconds to compose. Today was a big day for Finley, but it was also a big day for you and Leah. You both were entering a new chapter of parenting.

You stretched a bit before picking Ellie up and heading into the kitchen, following the sound of Finley’s excited chatter and the smell of pancakes already filling the air. Leah was by the stove, flipping a pancake while Finley sat at the table, kicking his legs under the chair and talking about all the things he was going to do that day. His backpack sat proudly on a chair next to him.

He grinned up at you as you entered the room. "Look, Mummy! Mumma’s making pancakes!"

"I see that," you smiled, placing a kiss on his head while being careful of Ellie. "Smells amazing."

"Breakfast is ready, big boy," Leah said, setting a plate of pancakes down. "Make sure you eat up so you have plenty of energy for today."

Finley nodded eagerly, grabbing a fork. You sat down next to him, keeping an eye on him as he shovelled bites of pancake into his mouth.

"Hey, not too fast," you reminded him gently, laughing as syrup dribbled down his chin. "We don't want a sugar rush before school even starts."

After breakfast, you handed Ellie over to Leah, who had finished her own plate. “I’ve got her, love. Go help Finn get dressed. You need some time with our biggest bubba.”

You nodded, glancing down at Finley’s syrup-covered mouth with a fond sigh. "Alright, bubs, let’s get you cleaned up and dressed."

Finley followed you excitedly to his room, bouncing around as you laid out his uniform. You couldn't help but smile at his little uniform which seemed far too big for him. 

"Okay, let’s get you ready for your big day," you said, helping him pull the shirt over his head. Finley’s endless energy continued, even as you worked to button up his shirt.

"I can do it!" he insisted, attempting to do the buttons himself.

"Alright, Mr. Independent," you chuckled, watching as his small fingers fumbled with the buttons. You gave him a moment before gently helping him with the last few. "There! Don’t you look so handsome?"

Finley smiled, clearly proud of himself. "Mumma said I'm gonna be the coolest kid there!" he declared.

"Oh of course you will be," you said, kissing him on the top of his head. "Now let's grab your shoes and backpack, then brush your teeth, then it’s time to go."

After finishing helping Finley brush his teeth you made your way out into the hallway, "Mumma and Els have to see! Mumma has to see my uniform!"

You laughed softly, "Let’s go show Mumma and Els, then."

You led Finley back into the living, where Leah was sitting with Ellie cradled in her arms. The moment Finley entered the room, Leah’s eyes lit up, and she gasped dramatically. 

“Oh my goodness! Look at you, Finn! You look so grown up!” she exclaimed, “You’re going to be the coolest kid in the playground, buddy!”

Finley grinned from ear to ear. “Do I look like a big kid, Mumma?”

Leah walked over, carefully shifting Ellie so she could crouch down to his level. “You look amazing, bubba. I’m so proud of you.” She pulled him into a gentle hug, mindful of his uniform, and kissed the top of his head. 

You stood back, watching them with your heart full, before Leah looked up at you. “We should get a picture of him before we head off.”

You nodded, reaching for your phone as Leah helped Finley stand by the door. He struck a playful pose, grinning wildly as you snapped the photo of your little boy, ready for his first day of school. 

"Alright, Mr. Big Kid," you said, lowering your phone. "Are you ready to go?"

Finley nodded, bouncing on his toes again. “Yeah! I’m so ready!”

“Why don’t you put Els in and Finley and I’ll grab the nappy bag, yeah?” Leah told you as she handed you Ellie. 

You gently took Ellie from Leah's arms, holding her close as you gave a small nod. "Sounds good."

Heading outside to the car, you carefully buckled Ellie into her car seat while Finley climbed into the back, chatting endlessly about all the fun things he was going to do at school. You could hear Leah moving around inside, gathering the last of the things you'd need for the day.

With Ellie secure, you rounded the car to help Finley strap himself in before closing the door and waiting by the car for Leah. 

Leah stepped outside, the nappy bag slung over her shoulder. She looked emotional, tears were brimming in her eyes. 

“You okay?” You asked softly, wrapping your arms around her waist. 

She nodded, “I don’t know… it’s just hitting me all at once. How did we get here so fast? He was just a baby…”

You exhaled softly, pulling Leah closer. “I know. I feel it too.” Your voice was thick with emotion as she pressed a kiss to your cheek. “But he’s going to be amazing, love. And we’ll be right there, watching him every step of the way.”

Leah nodded, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “What if he needs us? What if something happens and we’re not there?”

“I know.” You pulled back slightly. “But he has his teachers, they’ll phone if anything major happens.”

“I love you,” she whispered, squeezing your waist.

You smiled, your own eyes glassy. “I love you too.”

You stood there for a moment longer, wrapped up in each other, before the sound of Finley’s voice broke through. “Mummy! Mumma! Are we going?! I don’t wanna be late!”

Leah chuckled, stepping back but keeping one arm around you. “Alright, alright, bubba. We’re coming.”

You both climbed into the car, with you in the passenger seat and Leah behind the wheel. As you pulled away from the house, Finley’s small body was practically bouncing in his car seat, and Ellie was fast asleep in hers. 

When you pulled into the school parking lot, Finley’s excitement reached new heights. “We’re here! We’re here!” he exclaimed, trying to unbuckle his seatbelt before Leah even turned the car off. 

“Hang on, buddy,” you laughed, turning in your seat. “Let us get out first, and we’ll help you.”

Leah parked, and you both stepped out, Leah heading around the car to get Ellie while you helped Finley out of his car seat. His little legs bounced with excitement as soon as his feet hit the ground, and you chuckled, smoothing out his uniform.

“You ready, big kid?” you asked, straightening his backpack straps.

Finley nodded eagerly, “I’m ready, Mummy!”

Leah joined you, Ellie nestled against her chest in the baby carrier. She knelt down, “C’mere, bubba,” She said, bringing Finley into a hug, “You’re going to do great. Remember to listen to your teacher and have fun. Most importantly, me and Mummy love you and we’ll both be here to pick you up.”

“I love you too, Mumma!” Finley grinned, “I love you too as well Els,” he smiled, kissing his baby sister on her head. “And I love you as well Mummy!” He said, hugging your legs. 

“I love you too, bubs.” You smiled as Finley grabbed both your and Leah’s hands. 

As the three of you made your way toward the entrance. The schoolyard was already buzzing with other kids and parents, all saying their goodbyes before the day officially started. You noticed a few familiar faces from preschool, and Finley immediately recognized a friend, waving excitedly.

“Look, Mummy, that’s Miles!” Finley pointed out, tugging on your hand to let go.

You smiled, bending down to his level. “Okay, bubba, go say hi, but come back so we can walk you to the classroom in a minute.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, running off towards his friend with that boundless energy that only kids seem to have this early in the morning. You and Leah stood there for a second, watching him, both of you silent as the reality of this moment truly set in. 

Leah took a deep breath beside you, her free hand finding yours again. “I’m not ready,” she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

You squeezed her hand. “Neither am I.”

As you both watched Finley laughing with his friends, his backpack bouncing up and down, you realised that he was ready. And that was enough.

After a few more minutes, Finley ran back over to you, his cheeks flushed with excitement. “Is it time to go inside, Mummy?”

You nodded and crouched down, pulling him into a tight hug, your voice thick with emotion. “It is. We’re so proud of you, Finn. Have the best day, okay?”

Leah followed, being careful of Ellie while leaning down to kiss Finley on the top of his head. “We love you, bubba. We’ll be here to pick you up later.”

Finley nodded, his smile never faltering. “I love you too! Love you Mumma, love you Mummy! Love you, Els!”

And just like that, he was off and running into the classroom to his teacher. You and Leah stood there for a moment longer, watching until he disappeared through the doors.

You walked back to the car in silence, hand in hand as Ellie snuggled up against Leah’s chest. Just as you got back to the car, Ellie began to fuss against Leah’s chest. 

“I think little missy could be hungry,” Leah laughed, looking down at Ellie who was now squirming against her chest. 

You giggled, shaking your head, “Give me a minute to get settled in the front then I’ll feed her.”

While you got yourself settled into the front seat, Leah got Ellie out from the baby carrier before handing her over to you. A comfortable silence fell over you as you fed Ellie and before you knew it you were handing her over to Leah in the driver's seat so she could burp her.  

“Can you just stay this little please, bubba?” Leah cooed at Ellie, holding her out in front of her after she had finished burping her, “I don’t think I can handle this again…”

You smiled, touching Ellie’s tiny fingers, “We’ve still got a few years before little missy is heading off, who knows maybe by then we might have another little one.”

Leah's eyes widened, and she let out a soft laugh, looking at you with surprise. "Another one? Are you serious?" she asked. 

You shrugged, smiling as you adjusted in your seat. "I don’t know. Maybe? I mean, we’ve always talked about having at least two, and look at how much love we have to give. Who’s to say we won’t feel ready for another by then?"

Leah smiled, her gaze softening as she looked down at Ellie, who was now peacefully snuggled against her chest. "I suppose you're right," she murmured. "I never thought I could love this much. Every time I look at Finn and now Ellie, it just feels... endless."

You nodded. "Exactly. Our family’s full of so much love. And who knows what the future holds?"

Leah chuckled again, leaning back into her seat. "Alright, let’s just survive the next few years with these two first," she teased. "We can revisit that conversation when we’re getting a bit more sleep."

You laughed, nodding. "Deal. One day at a time."

[technically-human]

I don't know the rules for art requests so I'm hoping if I do this wrong you'll just ignore this message. I really, really like your Dead Boy Detectives art and I've been following it since the first comic with the soul orbs. I also like your different AUs and crossovers.

Could you write/draw a comic where Doom Patrol Charles meets Reverse Verse Charles? I think that could be interesting because those are the two versions of Charles who admit they're in love with Edwin, but also those two are on opposite ends of the emotional stability scale. That's probably not a good word for it-- what I mean is that DP-Charles seems comfortable with himself while RV-Charles thinks he's an absolutely terrible person, and RV-Charles is kind of manipulative at times while DP-Charles seems to be aware of others' feelings and gives them space.

Also, I think RV-Edwin and DP-Edwin might enjoy sassing each other too much.

No rules, just a lot of patience! Reading your comments always makes me happy, so I made this little thing very quickly :) I'm sure there's a lot of fun interactions for them to have, but it might take me a while to come up with more stuff.

I don't think DP!Charles has advice for RV!Charles... after all, they're kind of in the same boat. But maybe he can teach him a thing or two about giving Edwin time and space? I would love the see everyone's thoughts, because this seems like it could be a fun dynamic.

Thank you for the request, and to everyone else who sent me one: I live in shame. I will get to them.

ko-fi

[killuakiru]

hiiii!! omg ive been SCOURING for a hxh blog for a while bro there’s barely any that’s active 😭😭 could i request dating hcs for the main four? ty!! :3

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN !! I've been waiting for a main 4 request !! I CAN FINALLY POST intrams r coming to a close so praise the lord 🙌 I promise I am working yall

⊹₊⋆ Lovey-Dovey!ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

⊹₊⋆ Gn!Reader x K.Zoldyck, G.Freecss, L.Paradinight, K.Kurtaᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

༉‧₊˚. Start !༉‧₊˚.

༉‧₊˚. Killua Zoldyck !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Let's start with some pre-dating head canons !

• Honestly, seeing Killua's personality, he'd be really low-key about it and casual for some reason..

• You literally wouldn't think he likes you to that extent, but your label as his "best friend" Says numbers to him.

• Killua definitely confessed during his vulnerable moments, having a solemn and sad expression as he spoke. "The way you treat me compares to no other, but.. With my background, can I really be with someone so pure?"

• His words left you perplexed. What did his words mean at this current situation? "What are you saying..?" You mumbled with a raised eyebrow.

• "I'm saying I like you." Killua mumbles, a tint of irritation and vulnerability in his tone as he sighs.

• Post-dating head canons !

• The whole week you've been dating, everything was low-key. You were both casual with hints of romantic teasing gestures from him.

• Killua isn't the clingy or touchy type, but he'd always snake an arm around your shoulder and let you lean your body against his if he wants to feel your presence.

• Additionally, if he's feeling protective or in a scenario where you guys are in an unknown territory, he'll hold your hand and guide you.

• Killua isn't also the one to say direct praise, since he's known for not saying a simple gratitude to his friends, so he just gives you a small smile or nod of acknowledgement.

• The ways he shows his affection– is simply with the small actions he does. Whether it's the smallest. Placing a hand on your back and rubbing it, making you link your arm in his, and other stuff.

• Also, Killua absolutely LOVES admiring your expression or your appearance in general. His favorite thing to constantly look at? Your eyes. He probably thinks it's super cliche, but; he's simply a sucker for em. He loves seeing your true feelings and the bright shine of your eyes, it makes him fall for you again and again.

• His favorite activities he loves doing with you is probably just to spend quality time. Walking around the forest, sitting around a bond fire with your group, and more. That's his ideal.

• While Killua isn't verbal about his affection, you can easily tell that this boy is deeply in love with you and your whole being.

⊹₊⋆ Gon Freecss !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Gon is and would probably be the clingy type AT THE RIGHT TIME.

• He vocalizes his feelings a lot! Even an idiot would know that you're his beloved!

• "yn!! How're you doing?! Hope you're doing great!! I love you a bunch!" That's almost your wakeup call at this point.

• Pre-dating scenarios !!

• With how sweetly he treats other people in general, you assume that in a scenario where Gon is in a relationship he won't be that serious.

• But ohhh boy were you proved wrong when he confessed.

• "Did you know? I really like you. You're an amazing person.. You're super nice and everything, so uh.." He sheepishly confessed, rubbing his nape with a soft smile on his face.

• He seemed so genuine with his words, and we all know that Gon is honestly such a bad liar.

• Post Dating head canons !!

• my GOD does this boy give random trinkets.

• Oh he saw a flower while Killua and he was walking? Boom, flower crown. Oh he found a twig that formed into a heart shape? Boom it's in your possessions now.

• In contrast to everyone, Gon's super adventurous; his favorite activities he'd do with you is to travel around the world, a more realistic idea is travel to a place where you both haven't gone to yet.

• Gon isn't all that clingy as well, again– Gon is pretty clingy at the right time.

• The said "right time" is where he sees you after such a long time. Pulling you into a long and warm hug with hushed words of assurance from your tongue, Gon feels absolutely loved.

• He loves your whole being so much, he'll absolutely cherish every moment with you.

• His favorite thing about you isss I would say.. Your emotions, probably. Your emotions are his kinda! Seeing you down, he's also down. Seeing you happy brings a bright smile to his face, and he'll relish every happy moment with you.

• Gon will always and never forget to say a reminder that he'll forever love you to his heart's content. He'll never fail to voice his feelings, why would he? He knows you love him as well, and the affection he has for you is immeasurable.

༉‧₊˚. Kurapika Kurta !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Ouu this guy.. He irritates me to no end.

• He is SO quiet with his feelings and he's so naturally distant, naturally you'd also distance yourself from him.

• Why would you even try?! Clearly, he's "uninterested" And wants to keep things casual. Of course, this pains you because you really want to take things higher.

• Months passed, he started growing busy with his job as a Bounty Hunter. You thought you could use this as an opportunity to move on!

• But y'know what they say. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

• Both sides missed each other dearly, with no one to chat with and share their inner feelings, yn soon grows lonely.

• With no one to listen to and have no company of the one he trusts the most, Kurapika grew regretful.

• When they both met again, Kurapika didn't hesitate to cup your hands ever so gently with a look of subtle desperation in his eyes.

• "yn.." He softly calls, his voice was like a thousand melodies that sang only for your ears to hear. His expression was so very vulnerable, it made you love him more.

• "I'm so sorry." He apologizes, removing his hands from yours and gently pulling you into a hug, placing a firm yet soft hand on your scalp and having an arm wrapped around your shoulder.

• Everything escalated from there, and in a hypothetical situation, you became a Bounty Hunter too! ( if you had no plans for the other Hunter titles )

• His favorite activities to do with you is to lounge around, read a book with your fingers intertwined and have you leaning on him for support.

• With you, Kurapika believes he can achieve the life he wants. After gathering the scarlet eyes of his clan.

• Kurapika's loyalty lies with you and no one else, rest assured. He can forever guarantee your safety if you're with him.

• Similarly to Killua, Kurapika isn't vocal about his affection. But he would whisper a soft "I love you." And a "I'm sorry I can't be there for you."

• Kurapika is known to be really distant, so you have to be patient with him. And he loves you so dearly. Imagine loving someone so hard to love? Kurapika believes he was truly blessed to have a significant other like you.

• His favorite thing about you is your voice, no doubt. He can listen to your emotions even when he has his eyes closed.

• Kurapika isn't one to trust easily, so seeing him close his eyes to listen to you?? It's an achievement. He's basically lowering his guard and trusting you with his life in a literal sense!

• Additionally, he loves watching you do your hobbies. The way your lips form into a smile filled with purity, the complete opposite of what he does. The way your laugh sounds like an elegant butterfly garden– it was a weird way to explain it. But in other words; ethereal.

• You'll forever, and I mean EVER be the love of his life, the light of his life, his everything. He'll sacrifice a lot for you, and that's a given.

⊹₊⋆ Leorio Paradinight !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

• Ah, yes. This man.

• Low-key? Not in his vocabulary. He likes you? Oh it's painfully obvious– well I mean it's not like he's trying to hide it, really..

• It's amazing how you two clicked! Leorio with his very odd-feminist tendencies is... Eh.

• But hey! You two worked it up in the end, and he's madly in love with you. That's great, really!

• Leorio LOVES to flaunt you off. "Look at them! My gorgeous soul mate!" He exclaims with heart eyes, leaving you baffled at his volume and growing embarrassed at the amount of looks you're getting.

• Yeah! He always says an exaggerated "I love you!" In many instances, Leorio will alwayssss give you a lil smooch somewhere on the face.

• Honestly, Leorio isn't ashamed at all. Why would he? He'll freely show his affection to the one he views his soul mate– someone who is destined to be bound to each other.

• Despite Leorio's reputation, he's quite a gentleman. He's willing to sacrifice a lot of his time for you, and mind you– time is crucial for medic students.

• He respects your boundaries more than anyone else's. If he accidentally crosses the line with one of them, he'll give a genuine apology and makes it clear that those weren't his intentions at all.

• Leorio's favorite activity to do with you varies– he lovesss taking you out on small lil dates, like library dates to just sit in silence and bask in each other's presence, or an extraordinary one where he'll take you to a club and have fun.

• He ends up passing out drunk leaving you to take care of him and listen to his endless complaints the next morning– but he repays you by being extra nicer the next day.

• His favorite thing about you would be– well, your torso. NOT IN THAT WAY.

• It's simply his favorite because he can easily snake his arms around you despite your size.

• He's.. Well, clingy. He loves lovesss having his hands around you. He refuses to keep his hands to himself if you're around.

• But all in all, Leorio's a great person. He's willing to drop everything he has to heal you if you're in pain or try to find something for you. He's that committed, I promise.

༉‧₊˚. End !༉‧₊˚.

Thank you for reading ! This strictly belongs to me / killuakiru and I do not give permission for you to repost on other platforms, thank you !

[ttrashlord]

STEB SFW/NSFW HEADCANONS

A/N-This is my first time writing smut so,pls be kind with critics <3 (@moonstrider9904 its the owner of the gif)

P.s-i was listen to Lana del rey while doing this ;)

Warnings:mentions of kinks (cockwarming,bdsm,oral sex,etc),oral sex (Female and male receiving),

Pairing:Female!reader x Steb

-SFW-

Steb is such a gentle lover,he won't just do anything without your consent or go too rough or fast,he won't go slow either,he will adjust at your rythm,just as you are.

He will steal you kisses all time at home,at all time.Youre cooking? A stolen kiss. Reading at the couch? Don't look behind you,because a Wild Steb will be waiting there.

He is not a coffee lover ( as i said in another headcanon) but he surely loves tea!,so whenever you two decide that you want to do a lazy day or just thake breakfast in bed (most of the times,he does the breakfast),he is ready!

He enjoys going shopping,and even more if it's with you! He makes a whole list but you don't take different parts,no,you do the whole shopping TOGETHER.

I saw an account saying that Steb would have french accent (SORRY I DONT REMEMBER THE ACCOUNT) which i believe 2 things:

He can SPEAK french,because it's one of the lenguages he can speak,but he has British accent (just imagine ladies)

Have you seen the manhwa sign? Well,hearing his voice by the first time has the same reaction that yohan did on soohwa

He Will listen to whatever music you listen to

But he is a lana del rey boy

He likes tickle wars,but only when he's winning >:/

He didn't used to have a lots of things in his wardrobe until you came to his life,then you started to be like a fashion designer to him and started to tell him what could fit him and what he should try/buy.

He really apreciates this,because It feels like it's worth It to worry how he looks apart from his enforcer uniform

-NSFW-

(pls let me get ready for this)

If in his normal life he is a shy,a man of poor words,but believe me when i say this,he is comunicative in bed

If he needs you/something he'll say,he won't do any rodeo about It,he is kinda shy about being too explicit,but he makes sure to let you know what he needs

Imagine that is been a long,tiring day,you two are enforcers and right now are working at the "peanut partro"l with cait as a Commander

Sure,she was great,but sometimes a pain in the ass as a boss.

So,when you two arrived home,you shouted to him as you lead your steps to the kitchen "i'm making dinner"

You put your apron on,and started to make something,but suddenly,a pair on blue,warm hand were embracing you stomach

Steb:mhm...you...mhm..

You didn't undertood a word of what he said because his head was pressed on your shoulder

You left your hands from the sink and put the on his hands,and asked him: honey,what did you say?

And as clear as water,he told you,putting his chin on your shoulder and his lip very near your lobe:

Steb:I need you....now....

He doesn't speak very much but damn he know how to use his mouth.At first,he was very shy to go down on you,saying he never didi It on anyone else,but the more he thinks about it,the more he wants It.

The very first time he went down on you he was inexperienced,but he is someone that learns pretty easy,so the first time uses It to learn as much as he can for you,what do you like? What reaction what can he get from you?

BUT when you first when down on him? Girl are you trying to kill him?

You did It the very first time you two has sex,and he hated to admit how fast he did came when your Lips touched his tip.Only using your hands,going Up and down was...such a view,and even while you were looking at him with such pretty eyes,but when you decided to use your Lips,he fainted.

The first time you had sex you decided to go missionary.It's confortable,it's intimate and he can be as close to you and look at you

Saying this right now ,MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH HIM,he loves it,he loses it.

His favoutire positions are:

Cowgirl,the Lotus,any variation of the missionary,and any position where he can see your face.

I believe that he has Big dick energy (DON'T KILL ME) but not THAT much,just above avarage.but the () it's pretty normal.

I believe he has the prettiest dick, i mean,i can't say look, but think about It:

More than avarage lenght,let's say () while not erected,but when it's erected It passes to be ().

And it's pretty firm,very curvy,just a prefect curve that helps you to make your own climax even better.

His () as on the avarage side,making It ().

Meanwhile the colour tip it's a pretty pinkish colour,not a full Pink but It shades into Pink.

He loves eye Contact,but most of all kissing you and showing to you how much he loves your body,in any way possible.This is like mosning your name as loud as he can (yes,he doesn't only moan,he groans,growls,do any sounds you can imagine) worshipping you,telling you how good you feel,etc.

And kissing you is something that he does:

1-when he is about to come,he feels It,and he needs to show you how good you make him feel

2-if it's a very intimate sex session (like,you're not only fucking but "making love")

He is such a gentleman,he can adjust at your rythm with any problem, did you tell him to go faster? For sure faster It is. You told him you don't want to come yet? He understands,he slows the pace and waist for you.

His kinks are on the "normal" side:

Praise kink,slight bdsm (chokers,blindfolds,and sometimes shibari) oral (receiving and giving),cockwarming,slighlty erotic asfyxiathion (on him)

But most of the times,he enjoys "normal sex" and always will prefer to "make love" with rather than just "fucking"

HEYYY THIS IS MY VERY FIRST TIME WRITING NSFW DON'T HATE ME ON THIS!

this took me soo long because i had no idea what to write for him so,here it is!

Hope you like it!

Also! I wanted to thank @saradika-graphics for this beautiful dividers,if need any, she surely has! (Or ask a request).

That's all loves,bye!

[yougavememyopia]

Tags: Loser stalker fem reader, cocky mean dom yandere, dubcon 18+, choking, lot of force, grinding

◇◇♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡◇◇

"What the fuck are you doing?"

You jumped, flinching so hard that made your spine hurt. Cursing under your breath, you hesitantly turned back to look at the familiar face.

Jun was standing there with his arms crossed, glaring at you with scolding eyes. Every day, you hid behind the corner that faced the field. It was mostly empty except for the cute artsy kid that sat there. He would lean against the tree, sketching, and you would be there watching his profile.

"Um..." Your words died down in your throat. Jun could easily tell what you were doing. Stalking a poor boy who had no idea his classmate was obsessed with him. "Hi?"

"Hi?" He repeated unamused, stepping closer to corner you against the wall. "You've been avoiding me. You're not answering any of my texts. I said I wanted to have lunch with you today, but you ditched me to do this?"

You stood there. You would feel guilty, but your brain was too busy searching for excuses or ways to explain this situation. This looked back. Really bad.

A few moments passed with you looking at the floor, feeling the cold wall behind you. Jun clicked his tongue, shifting his gaze from you to the boy in the field.

You exhaled, trying to think of a way to preserve your dignity. "I know it's wrong... It's creepy and weird. But you have to understand-"

"Oh, I understand. I get it. You're trying to find love. Isn't that right?"

"Uh... I guess that's the end goal. But-"

He interrupted you again. "You're tired of being lonely and isolated. Which is why you're pushing the person who wanted to be your friend away."

"No, that's not..." You paused. "Sorry.."

"Instead of being with me, you're choosing that clumsy, pathetic piece of-"

You interrupted him this time. "Ethan. His name is Ethan. And he's perfect. He keeps to himself most of the time, just like me. We have a lot in common..."

He went quiet for a second, uncrossing his arms and putting them in his pocket. "You completely ruined my plans, y'know... I was trying so hard to take all of this slow. I was gonna have lunch with you, eventually ask you out on a date, and go from there. While you were here doing the same thing to another boy."

You blinked. Was he confessing to you? You were suspicious when the golden boy of the school wanted to be your friend, and now this?

"Excuse me?"

"Oh yeah. I was gonna bring you to your favorite café and treat you. But you clearly don't want all that normal healthy stuff, huh?"

"Uhh.." You just looked at him, looking from his gorgeous eyes to his flawless hair. Then, to the strong looking arms that came up to the wall behind you. "You're kidding."

"But I'm afraid that my intentions weren't all that pure. I was going to give you so much that you'll completely become dependent on me. And I could have you as mine forever."

"Were you stalking me? Is that how you found me here?" You slowly said, a bit unsure.

"Such a smart girl." Jun praised, bringing a hand to cup your cheek, caressing his thumb against your skin. "I'm just as sick as you."

You gripped his wrist, stopping him. "I need to think about this first."

"What is there to think about? Forget about that shy mutt. I'm so much better than him. What else could you possibly ask for?"

You shook your head, pushing his shoulders weakly. "No. Just move away..!"

"I get it. You need more convincing."

And just as he said that, his lips crashed into yours. He forced a kiss on you and grabbed the back of your head. He guided you to kiss him back, using your hair to manipulate you like a puppet. You stood there and let it happen, your hands moving down to press against his chest.

He licked your bottom lip, which you kept closed. You were unsure of what to make of this situation.

"Just open your mouth, okay? I want to kiss you deeper." He tilted his face to the right and forced you to tilt yours the other way. "I don't like repeating myself. Don't make me force you. I'm trying to prove a point here. You're mine, whether you like it or not. You wanted something unhealthy, well here it is."

You didn't want to oblige. There was something inside you that wanted to fight him. You gasped as Jun tugged your hair harshly, catching you by surprise. His tongue invaded your mouth. You tried to pull away, but your back was against the wall. There was nowhere to go. You started to like how he forced you to this. You wanted to be kissed since a long time ago. Just hadn't expected it to be from the overly confident and arrogant jerk.

His tongue moved around skillfully. You unintentionally moaned, feeling him smirk against your lips. The weird sensation felt good. You slowly closed your eyes and kissed back, shyly moving your tongue against his. His other hand went down to rest on your waist. He pulled you closer to him. Your bodies slightly rubbed against each other.

You were out of breath. Panting, still wanting to kiss him more. He tasted so so good. Like cherries. Maybe he ate some before this.

"You still there, sweetie? You look dazed. Was it that good?" Jun chuckled. He knew the effect he had on you. "I told you. I'm the greatest choice you'll ever make."

"I can't believe this..." That was all you could mumble. Your heart still throbbed for Ethan, but it wasn't really an option anymore. This was... something else. Something you could get used to. "I can't believe it..."

"I know, you're very lucky. Not everyone has an amazing, skillful boyfriend. Soon, you'll be addicted to me and my kisses."

He stroked the back of your hair, almost apologizing for pulling it before. Before you could protest against the term, he kissed you again, rubbing his tongue against yours lewdly. You obliged, not thinking much of it. It felt too good to pass up on.

"Want me to you some of these skills?" He whispered in your ear, blowing air on it. You squeaked, and he chuckled. "Your reactions are so cute, darling. I want to see more. I want more of you. Your taste, your smell, your everything. You're mine. I can just take whatever I want, right?"

Jun clicked his tongue in impatience. He started to kiss down your neck, his fingers intertwining with yours as he pinned them against the wall. "I wanted to take things slow. Even after all this. But I feel like you need a bit more convincing, hm?"

He licked a spot of your skin before biting down on it. You hissed in pain as he continued to angrily mark you. It seemed like he was jealous of what happened earlier. He sucked the spots he bit for a moment before pushing his thigh between your legs. "I swear if you lie eyes on that guy again, I'll cut his legs off."

You felt dizzy. All this was too much for you. Your head was spinning, and you felt really good. Small hushed moans spilled from your lips when his knee rubbed you up and down. His hands sneaked up your shirt, hands caressing whatever skin he could find. "There we go. I can tell you're enjoying it. I mean.. Naturally."

You could feel his eyes bore on you, but you barely looked at him. Drowning in ecstasy while he kissed you again and again. You felt yourself getting closer to the edge. You gripped his shirt, clenching it in your fist.

He passionately kissed you again as you came, moaning into his mouth. He slowed down before stopping. A grin on his face. He looked so hot like this.

"Good girl! Oh sweetie~ Look how hard you made me."

You look down to see the buldge forming in his jeans. He rubs it against your thigh, trying to provoke more reactions out of you.

"Aww, you're shaking... Could it be you actually want to touch it?" He teased, rubbing it higher to your still sensitive spot.

"W-what? Nngh.. No! I never even agreed to be your girlfriend." He grips one of your wrists, putting it on the front of his pants. You yelp, trying to stop him. "No! Stop. We're in public!"

You paused at the realization. You tried to think of how loud you were, but the image just sent pleasure back to your core.

"We're behind an isolated corner. No one will find us here. My darling certainly knows how to pick the right places."

You look back at the tree, the boy was gone, and the field was completely empty. You breathed a sigh of relief. As you were distracted, Jun began to unbutton his jeans, pulling it down. You turned back to see him pulling his cock out.

"What are you doing? Put it back in." You whisper-yelled. "Don't show it to me-"

He chuckled, letting go of your wrist to cup your hand. He wrapped your hand around his throbbing shaft. You gasped at the feeling. His size was impressive just like everything else about him.

"Shit..." You mumbled, watching him stroke himself with your hand.

"All you protests just died down. What, are you enjoying it?"

"Augh, I won't bother denying it." You began stroking him out of your own will, feeling the precum rolling down to your fingers. "You're gonna make a mess..."

"Why don't you clean it up for me, darling?"

"Fuck no. We shouldn't do something like this so early. It can ruin the relationship."

"So there is a relationship." He mused, his hands trailing up and down your thigh. You groaned again, stopping your movement.

"I changed my mind."

Jun hummed in amusment, he brought his face to your neck, licking at the spots he bit. "You're mine. You can't change that fact. It's taking everything in me to just not take you right here..."

He brought himself to your clothed sex, rubbing himself harshly against you. "I'll eventually have you. You can't escape from me. So unless you want to become my prisoner any time soon, you better help me calm down."

"I said no! You can't make me."

He groaned in frustration. In a quick motion, he pulled down your pants, roughly shoving everything down. You helplessly stood there, your attempts to push him away failing. You weren't trying that hard any way. Maybe because you were excited.

"Oh, I'm not putting it in."

You looked up at Jun, confused. "Huh?" Your question was answered when he began to rub his length along your slit. You bit your lip. "Seriously? Just this?"

"Yes. Seriously." Jun grunted when you squeezed your thighs around his shaft. He moved against you, picking up the speed. Your legs felt like jelly. "This is all you get for denying your boyfriend."

You whimpered, feeling your clit being stimulated. It was enough to make you come a second time when you felt him squeeze your throat. "Yeah, there you go. You're so much easier to please than I thought you'd be." He laughed, grinding a couple more times before releasing his load. You both panted, and he rubbed the spots on your neck gently.

"Mmh, let's clean up first, darling. And then we'll have some lunch." He patted your head, mumbling praises as he kissed your lips. "You're mine now. There's no room for arguments. Better behave if you don't wanna be tied up and locked away."

[simpee9000]

You Were A Dream ~ 2 ~ T. Amajiki

Blurb Idea : Part One (this is the last part btw) Description : Tamaki was always shy, but with you? He was doing everything he never expected. All with his best friend's sister. it felt like the words cruel joke on him. Yet for you, it was all like a dream. Word Count : 5.7k Warnings : Angst, Hints to Smut but none fr

---

"Are you okay?" your brother asked when he opened the door to your apartment. The first question he's asked since.

And you ignored it.

Going straight to your room and slamming the door.

Falling face-first into your pillow so you could cry.

The realization of the gap between you and Tamaki was painful. The fact that you were so mentally in the relationship while he was still unsure? That was unthinkable.

A sinking feeling was being pressed into your chest, hurting your lungs as you took rapid breaths in, trying to stop crying.

The sinking feeling that Tamaki might not be the one at all. That this past year might of been a waste of hopes and false dreams.

It put a damper on everything.

Moping slightly around the workplace, shining a smile when needed just like your brother would. Just to drop the act at home. Dragging your feet and keeping your head hung low.

It felt pitiful. But you put your all into this relationship. You thought through everything with him, you told him everything.

Mirio started questioning you after a week.

"I didn't think Tamaki would affect you this bad," he was crossing his arms, a concerned look on his face as he left half his thoughts unspoken.

You gave him a dead stare, turning back to your phone and once again ignoring any conversation about this.

If Tamaki didn't want to talk to you about it, you didn't want to talk about it.

And while you were upset. You weren't going to throw him under the bus just to rant. His feelings were realistic, just entirely different than yours.

So you've been reevaluating everything.

This relationship might not work, and maybe you were stupid for thinking it would.

''Hi, beautiful."

You turned your head away from the printer, giving him a soft smile, "Hey Kaminari."

"Why so glum?" he walked next to you, leaning onto the side of the printer, eyeing the stack of work reports you were printing out.

You sighed, "Lots of stuff."

"Boyfriend?"

"Something like that," you shrugged, mindlessly watching the papers slide out of the machine.

"I'm all ears," his cheerful smile made you consider it.

"I just-" your eyes caught onto Tamaki's white hero hoodie, one he was holding down with his hands and turning away from you.

Kaminari glanced where you did, "Is he avoiding you or something?"

"Kind of? I don't know," you shook your head, taking your eyes of his figure and back to the papers.

"What happened?"

"We're just at different points in our relationship," you spoke softly, trying to keep your voice indifferent as you picked up your finished papers, "Might not be much of a relationship anymore."

"Oh, fuck- I'm sorry," Kaminari took the joy from his face as he gave you an apologetic look.

"It's fine," you walked to your office, having his steps behind, "It's my fault really, I got ahead of myself."

"Look," Kaminari stopped you just before your door, "Don't blame yourself for your feelings and don't apologize for them. It doesn't fix anything. You are allowed to feel stuff."

His unusual pep talk made you smile, "Thank you, I needed to hear that," you laughed lightly at how Kirishima has influenced the boy, "I've been telling myself I was overthinking."

"Nah, it's all normal," he smiled brightly at you, patting your shoulder before seeing himself off.

You watched after his figure, thinking over how to go about everything while respecting how you felt and how Tamaki did.

"What was that about?"

"Holy fuck!" You jumped at the voice behind you, "Die. Literally die, Mirio."

"What has you smiling? Boyfriend?"

You glared at him, giving him a disgusted look, "No, get out of my business."

"That look says you and your boyfriend aren't on good terms," Mirio hummed as if he cracked a code.

"No, that look means to fuck off," you walked into your office, shutting your door in his face.

He phased through anyway, "Come on, just tell me what happened, it's been two weeks."

You looked at the calendar on your computer, your anniversary is today.

"What just happened?" Mirio spoke more calmly, "You went from annoyed to just sad."

"Can you please go?" you set your papers down and slouched in your office chair. Rubbing at your eyes to push back the emotions.

"Sis-"

"Please?"

Mirio frowned, stepping out of the office and giving you as sad smile.

All you could do was stare at your computer. The date is brightly marked in your brain and on the screen.

Just for your phone to be void of anything.

For good measure, you opened your phone again, checking your messages.

The last ones just being saddening.

"Can't wait to see your costume!" "I look stupid" "Maybe you'll let me take it off you then?" "oh"

After that there was nothing. No calls, no texts, no stupid Instagram reels. Nothing.

You turned off your phone, tossing it screen down on the desk with a sigh.

The urge to cry was strong, but when you held your head in your hands and looked down, you reminded yourself of all the work you had.

You'd cry when you got home.

Barely getting into your apartment before tears started falling.

You along with them. Shutting the door behind you and slumping against it.

A year wasted felt horrible. You wanted this to work so bad. But if he couldn't talk or come to you after clearly hurting you, then it wasn't worth it.

Sure, you could text him. But the communication on your side was fine, yet he never discussed his. You felt blindsided somewhat.

You deserved more from that.

So you took a deep breath and forced yourself to stand.

This was your anniversary after all, and maybe you wanted that box of brownies buried in your cabinet all for yourself.

Uncovering it and starting to mix it all together, ignoring how you were supposed to make these with Tamaki.

"Hey," Mirio dragged out the word when he opened the door.

"Not sharing," you continued to mix the brownies.

"I brought you someone."

"I don't really wanna hang out with your girlfriend," you tried to decline nicely.

"You sure?"

"Mirio-" you turned around and saw Tamaki messing with his fingers.

"I'll leave you to it," Mirio chirped, "Don't know what happened but I want it resolved."

You slumped further, "Don't bother Mirio, it's fine."

"Huh?" he stopped his steps out.

"He's all yours," you shrugged.

"You don't wanna fix this?" Tamaki spoke softly.

"What is there to fix?" you looked at him plainly, trying to mask the fact you cried over him an hour ago, a day ago, and a week ago.

Tamaki looked between you and Mirio.

You took a deep breath in, ready to let go of the past year.

"Our relationship? Do you just want to break up?" Tamaki asked, voice wobbly.

"Huh?"

You blinked at him, ignoring Mirio's confusion. "I don't want to break up, I thought you wanted to?"

"No, I just-" he looked at Mirio again, "Can we talk about this? Like- somewhere else?"

"Why?"

He nodded his head towards Mirio.

"Do you not want him to know about our relationship? Because you just announced it," you crossed your arms. It seemed like he was okay with dating you, just didn't want Mirio to know any details.

"That's not-" he shook his head, shutting his mouth and looking at Mirio, "We've been dating for a year. I'm- I'm so sorry for not telling you."

"Oh," Mirio shifted how he was standing, "We can talk about that later. Sort out whatever happened, Imma go see Hado." Giving you his signature look of 'call me if you need me'.

Tamaki watched him leave in silence.

"He's going to hate me," he mumbled.

You shrugged, "I doubt it."

Silence rang throughout the room, leaving you to set your brownies into the oven.

"I'm sorry I never talked to you," Tamaki spoke softly, ashamed. You went to turn around before his voice stopped you, "Please- don't look at me. I won't be able to say what I need to."

"I can't be with someone who can't look at me," you sighed, "and don't be someone you're not for me."

"I want to though, I want to better myself for you."

You turned to face him, "Then I need you telling me to my face."

He frowned, lips wobbling as he looked at you.

Deciding not to let the conversation start off so bitter, and completely in his hands, you took a deep breath, "It's our anniversary."

"I- I know," Tamaki tightened his hold on his hand, "I wanted to see you sooner."

"Why didn't you?" You crossed your arms, leaning to rest on the counter behind you, "You could of texted, or called."

Tamaki looked down, ashamed, "I thought you'd ignore it."

"So you didn't even bother trying?"

"I felt like you deserved more, wanted more- So I waited until I could come over without Mirio being suspicious," Tamaki rambled slightly, "Then I realized that was stupid- so I just asked to talk to you through him."

You hummed in agreement, looking at the brownies cooking in the oven rather than him.

"I don't care if he knows, not anymore-"

"Tamaki," you sighed, "That's hardly the thing I'm upset about."

"It's not?" he asked quietly.

"No, I understand you not wanting to tell him- Hell, I hardly wanted to because of how he acts- but the way you went about it? The afterward?" you turned to look at him now, trying to stress your point, "I can dismiss how you said you'd never wanted me to meet your girlfriend. It was a panicked response, hurtful but I can understand your side."

"I truly didn't mean for it to come out that way- I just didn't want Mirio to think I'd choose someone else-"

"That's the issue," you cut him off, wanting to get to the point, "You should choose someone else sometimes- and the way you view our relationship as new? We have entirely different viewpoints and priorities. I can't understand how you told me I'm new- I just- do you know how unvalued that made me feel?" you let your arms fall to your sides, defeated.

Tamaki just blinked at you for a moment, soaking in each word you just said. Watching how your shoulders slump and the way you curl in on yourself. "I didn't mean to- I was just trying to make you see my point."

"By hurting my feelings? I get you were stressed but you completely disregarded me, and our relationship. When I pointed out it'd be a year in two weeks- you just shrugged it off," you huffed, feeling the tears weld behind your eyes once again. He was just proving your thoughts correct. "You didn't even try to call me."

"You didn't text me so I thought-"

"Stop thinking so negatively of me. If you think I'd act in an intentionally hurtful way then why be with me? It's just sad to hear what you think of me. I didn't think for a second you were intentionally trying to hurt me, I just thought you were stressed," you shrugged aggressively, hands thrown into the air "Maybe that's me being naive, I don't know. But you should have reached out, you were the one who hurt me and I made that clear."

He just stared at the floor. Body frozen. So you did the same, unable to look at him as you tried to steady your voice.

You lowered your voice to a whisper, "Maybe we just aren't right for each other. I need someone who matches my priorities and can communicate with me fully- or at least attempt to. I don't think that's too much to ask. It'd make your friendship less awkward too."

"That's not-" Tamaki spoke out panicked, stepping closer to you as you looked up, "I don't want that- at all. I need to work on that, a hundred percent- I'll start right now. You are my top priority, I just completely panicked. I don't care if Mirio knows or if he's mad- well I do in case we get married- I wouldn't want your brother to hate me. But- you mean the most to me. I should have reached out but I got too stuck in my head over how you'd react. It wasn't fair."

His eyes were flickering across your face, trying to catch a glimpse of the slightest change.

"I should have thought more- should have told you more about what I thought," Tamaki lifted his hands briefly- pausing in an attempt to grab your hands before dropping them back to his sides. "I'll do better- I'll prove that my priorities match yours. I just needed to get over telling Mirio- and I did-"

"What happens the next time there's a bump in the road? Will you shut down again and assume the worst? Will you run away from me after being hurtful?" you were closing yourself off, crossing your arms. You didn't even know how to think.

If this were your friend, you'd tell her she is dumb if she believes he's going to change. But you wanted to believe it too. Maybe Tamaki was different, he has always been someone who adapts to things overtime. Maybe you were just dumb.

"I don't know for sure what will happen then, but I know I will try to be better. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you- I just don't know how and I should have asked. I'll work on it all- I should have done it sooner," he spoke quickly, slowly getting closer to your space.

You looked away, overwhelmed with his presence, "I don't think I can get over how you dismissed our relationship and our anniversary."

"I just panicked, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do if you told me the same. I um- I got you a gift for it- but I don't think now's the time-" he shuffled awkwardly, grabbing something in his pocket briefly before dropping his hand. "I can't explain how sorry I am."

You took a deep breath, he sounded genuine but you were still hurt, "Can I have some time to think about it? I want to believe you- I just don't know how a relationship would work if you didn't communicate to me more."

He stepped away from you, hurt, "Yeah- we can do that- Um- I'll give you your space."

"I don't want space, I just want to think on it," you clarified, hoping he'd get what you meant.

"I'll let you do that then," he shuffled back awkwardly, making his way to the door, "I'll- I'll just leave this here." He took a box out of his pocket and placed it on the counter, awkwardly patting it before speaking, "It's an anniversary gift- don't feel like I'm trying to change your mind- I'm just going to leave you." He blabbed as he fumbled with the door to get it opened.

"It's fine, get home safe," you watched him leave.

He peeked his head back into the room, "I love you- don't feel the need to say it ba-"

"I love you too, get home in one piece," you held back a giggle at his anxiousness and the way his face brightened at your words, ears turning red as he held his head down and walked out of your apartment.

The beeping of the oven caught your attention just as the door closed behind him.

Leaving you to eat the brownies while they were still burning hot.

You're glad he came to you- even though it took two weeks. He still came to you. He said he'd changed, so all you could do was wait and see.

"Home, I hope the brownies you made hit the craving you talked about"

He texted you, so that was a start.

When Mirio came home you were curious about his response to everything.

So seeing him come home with his brows furrowed and his mouth in a frown alarmed you.

"You good?" you asked, half chewing the brownie you cut out.

"Tamaki's the guy you've been seeing? The dude you've been upset over?" He crossed his arms in front of you, standing across the counter from where you sat at the island.

"Yeah," you shrugged, you didn't want a lecture.

"How come you guys never told me?"

You gave him a pointed look, "Really? You got weird when me and him were in the same room."

"Because I knew he liked you and I didn't want him to make you uncomfortable," he huffed, "I'm fine with you guys dating- I just wish I was told. I had a feeling anyways."

"Sure," you rolled your eyes.

"I did! He looked at you odd," he pouted, before taking on another serious face, "Did you guys resolve the issue?"

You shrugged again, "I don't know, It's a mess right now."

"What even happened?" he asked as he slumped into the couch you were sitting next to.

You slumped further into your seat, "The thing he said at the party started an argument is all."

"He was telling me he wasn't talking with you, like communicating well," Mirio added, trying to show he knew some details.

"Yeah," you shrugged, "I don't really wanna talk about it all."

"Okay," he drummed his fingers on the couch, "That movie you talked about is on streaming, wanna watch it?"

Since then, Tamaki has been trying every day. He was also trying to let you think for yourself so that led to awkward moments. He'd ask you to come over then fumble for an excuse to cancel. He was proving he'd try, and that's all you wanted.

He also started to bring you a coffee in the morning before scattering off to his own work.

"Denki, that's single-handedly the dumbest thing you've ever said," you laughed, he just said he didn't understand what you were talking about when you mentioned an article over 'human connection' and asked what that even meant.

"I'm just confused," he threw his hands up, "What's human connection?"

"Socializing," you explained, "Like, humans interacting and making a connection, stupid."

"Oh," he blinked at you.

You rolled your eyes and caught Tamaki's eye across the room, looking at you with a frown. Not really at you either, mainly at Denki.

Denki noticed your far off look, looking over his shoulder to see what you were. "Should I go?" he laughed awkwardly.

You shrugged, "If he has an issue with it, he can tell me." You looked back at Denki.

"Okay, I guess," he dragged out, shuffling on his feet, "I took your advice."

"Hm?"

"With Jirou, I asked her out finally," he spoke as if a weight on his shoulders disappeared. He's been talking to you about her for the past few weeks, wanting to be a cheesy couple during the holidays.

"Really?" you jumped up, "What happened?"

He sighed, "She's um, she's dating Momo, Creati if you didn't know."

"Oh, Denki that sucks, but at least you know," you frowned at him, "Did it affect how she treats you, or anything?"

"No, she's not the type to do that, she kinda just brushed it off and told me she had a girlfriend," he shrugged, looking around the office rather than you, "It sucks though, I've had a thing for her since first year."

She seemed to go about it in a nice way, he just seemed disappointed. "Didn't you say Kirishima's new assistant caught your eye?"

"I don't even know her, with Jirou I actually saw a personality behind the looks."

"That just means you need to do that again, you'll get that interest again, just gotta look for it," you shrugged, looking at the time on the clock and grabbing at your papers, you had a meeting in five minutes.

"Says the one that's with her childhood crush," he huffed, "I wish I had that spark."

"It's not all that it's cut out to be, but I see what you mean, I thought the same thing until it happened to me," you tried to reassure, giving him a pointed look, "You'll find someone, just gotta actually look for them not just their looks."

Denki scoffed, "You sound like Kacchan, hopeless romantic bullshit."

"It's not bullshit," you laughed, "I'll help set you up with a friend if you want? Text me if you do, meeting time."

"I think about it," he hummed, "Good luck with your meeting."

You padded towards the meeting doors, opening them to make a beeline towards your assigned seat with all the papers you had over your assignments this month. Smiling at the coffee cup sat next to your nametag with a little T written on it.

Though he gave you a smile during the meeting, you only got to talk afterward.

"Why'd Chargebolt look so upset?" Tamaki asked first thing. You were still collecting your papers into a pile when you asked so you looked at him confused. "Earlier, when the two of you were talking, he- this isn't a jealous thing- I'm just confused- Isn't he the I don't know, happy one?"

Happy with the confirmation of why he was asking, you answered, "He asked someone out and it didn't go to well, he's liked them since forever too."

"Oh," he hummed, "Sorry, I just noticed the way your face dropped with his- I thought maybe something bad happened and that you wouldn't- never mind."

You raised your brow at his rambling and the cut-off, tucking the papers neatly into your arm before looking at him with your full attention.

He let out a sigh, "I was worried something happened, and that you wouldn't tell me. I'm kind of- insecure I guess, lately, since I don't know what we are and how we stand on that stuff."

"Fair, I don't know where we stand either, I still need to think it over. I can see that you're trying though, I appreciate it," you smiled, "But just know that you're probably the first I'd go to still," you added, feeling somewhat guiltily that you had his strung along.

"Okay," he smiled back, "I'd go to you first too."

You continued on with your day separately afterward.

Falling asleep and waking up to the same dream since you've told him to wait.

The dream of how you guys used to be, it was cute, it also made you yearn for it. The dream went over the before, then to the fight, then ended with you going to his apartment and confessing your love and want for him.

You've been sitting with it for a while, he's shown change but you wanted to know fully. The decision was made but you still wanted to be confirmed you wouldn't regret it.

The light in your room was dim, but the light through the window casted a prefect sliver of light on the jewelry box that Tamaki left with you after the fight.

You still haven't opened it.

Not wanting it to be attached to a negative memory of him, you left it to the side. Knowing that if you opened it then, you'd only think of the fight when he gave it. So you waited till your mind was made up.

Which it was, and since you couldn't act like how you did in your dream and run to his apartment in the middle of the night, it felt fair to open it now.

So you rolled yourself out of bed and turned on your desk lamp, lighting up the box perfectly. It was a deep navy velvet, the coating all fancy ring boxes have. Clicking open easily to shine your favorite tone of jewelry shimmering with a very pale blue butterfly being held as a pendant. Something he mentioned was his favorite, something he said he gave to those he loved most.

Something Mirio was never gifted.

His mom had a bracelet with small gold butterflies making the chain, he got it for her after his first paycheck. She was the only one he had given one to, until now.

You shouldn't have immediately compared yourself with your brother, but you couldn't help it. You fully had something he didn't.

Now you really wanted to act on your dream and run to him. Already throwing on a hoodie and pants, and shoving your foot into a slip-on shoe before you could think. Grabbing your keys off your desk before running out the door.

Ignoring the sirens going off faintly in the distance, another hero could deal with it, and running towards his apartment in the snow.

Ever the romantic, you were, you were inwardly laughing to yourself at the cheesy romance. Feeling giddy as you pressed his floor number in the elevator. This was just like every rom-com ever. The love interest running through bad weather to reunite. It was like everything you dreamed of.

Pounding at his door as you bit your cheek, nerves running through you at the fact you were getting your relationship back.

After a few knocks, you went to check your phone for the time, noticing the lack of weight in your pocket and the fact you didn't know your phone.

You knocked louder, disappointment settling in.

You heard a door click open behind you, and a groggy mumble of your name as well.

"Denki?" you turned towards Kirishima's door, "What are you doing here?"

"Kiri asked me to dog sit," he looked at you weirdly, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm getting back with Tamaki- speaking of which- do you know where he is? I don't have my phone," you rocked on the heels of your feet, the nerves of talking about it all, getting to you.

Denki's face dropped, "You don't have your phone? Did you walk here?"

"Yeah- why do you look so freaked out?"

"The fucking news- I thought you would have seen it- fuck- hold on," he walked back inside.

You stepped near the door, confused, "What news? You're freaking me out."

He grabbed his keys and shoved his feet in crocs before motioning you to walk with him, "I don't- Amajiki is in the hospital- it just fucking happened- I'm surprised you didn't hear it on the way here."

Your feet stuttered as you walked, tripping you to run into him, "The fuck?"

Denki picked up your hand and pulled you into the elevator, "The building clasped on him while he was helping people evacuate from a fire. The news stopped broadcasting it afterwards."

Everything that was running in your body stopped, you felt nothing.

"I tried calling you- I'm sorry- fuck I'm so sorry."

You didn't even register anything until Mirio was wrapping you into a tight hug at the hospital. Mumbling frantic 'I'm sorry' and 'I tried to save him's.

Soaking in the look of the hospital. Nurses and doctors running around to each hero on the floor. Some from the same incident as Tamaki and some from another horrific event.

Being a hero, and friends with heroes, meant a secure fact of never being safe and never a promised day. You weren't living some type of fairytale dream, no matter how much you believed that. You just never imagine how it'd feel to look at your loved one while they were being stabilized with fluids and oxygen.

It felt like there was cotton shoved in your ears. A weight in your chest and something stuck in your throat. Nothing of you would function as you stood at the end of his bed. Listening to the nurse discuss his state and not being able to ask anything further. Just feeling lost.

A lot of smoke was in his lungs, it was the main reason he was in the hospital. He was on oxygen because of that. Then he was on fluids because of how his quirk worked, it depleted him of what he needed as he used it before he passed out from all the smoke. He also broke his arm, shattered from the ceiling caving in on him.

All you could think was that you were glad he wasn't dead.

It only took him a couple of hours to wake up, luckily. With how guilty your brother acted and how sorry Denki looked, you felt like he was dead. Yet you still felt nauseous when you heard him speak.

"Could I get some water?" he croaked. You jumped from your seat, not expecting his voice as you zoned out on his broken arm.

His voice was absolutely shattered, and he chugged the water the second you handed it to him. Listening to you tell him everything the doctors told you and calling the doctors in to talk with him about staying until the afternoon for his vitals to stabilize fully.

"Sorry I scared you," he mumbled quietly after the door clicked shut, his thumb tracing over your knuckles, you held his hands when the doctors came in.

"You were saving people, it's your job," you spoke for him but also yourself, you wanted to be mad that he could have died before you got to confess everything, but you couldn't be. You were the one who waited after all.

He just stayed silently for a moment, "Is that the necklace?"

You reached your free hand to touch it, "Yeah."

"Why now?"

"I um, I put it on before I knew anything happened. I was coming over to your apartment to talk about everything- and then Denki told me what happened," you squeezed his hand tighter.

"You were going to talk to me? What about?" his voice was still shot but he sounded more nervous, his heart rate shower higher on the monitor.

"It's not something we should talk about in a hospital room" you laughed softly, "It can wait."

"I wanna talk about it now, I don't care," his voice was somewhat firm but was also pleading. It made you look at him more, his hair was a mess, hardly in the shape he tried to keep it in. He had smudges of ash on his cheeks and dark circles under his eyes. Skin paler than normal. To word it simply, he looked horrible. The last thing you wanted to do was make him anxious.

"I've decided," you turned to sit next to him, moving to have his hand in your lap as you looked at him, "I definitely want to be with you, though our problems definitely still need to be communicated more, we should do that together."

"You're not saying this out of guilt right?" he mumbled, a frown and worried eyes showing his worry.

"No, I was already at your apartment before I knew, I made up my mind a couple of days ago."

"Thank fuck." You laughed at his uncommon swear. "I'll do everything I can to keep you happy," he squeezed your hand this time, and when you hummed in reply, he moved past it, "Do you like the necklace?"

"I love it," you smiled, "it's perfect."

He blushed, "I was worried you'd hate it, I had to keep checking your jewelry to know which you liked more, gold or silver."

"Well you were right, I'm never taking this off- by the way," you laughed softly, wanting to go in for a hug but noticing him flinch his broken arm away. "-Shit- sorry."

"We- can- if you want-" he coughed out of awkwardness, not smoke, before he mumbled, "kiss."

You took his offer instantly, connecting your lips gently for the first time in almost a month. Feeling the spark from before and tasting the smoke he inhaled. Pulling away with a laugh when his heart rate monitor started blaring at how fast it was beating. 

After he was cleared from the hospital, you stayed with him. Having Hado bring you a bag of clothes so you wouldn't have to leave him alone and after a long joking, but not joking, sex talk with Mirio, you were left alone with him.

You were babying him, you'll admit it. But you felt bad, you basically left him and while on the way to get him back you ignored him almost dying. You didn't know, but you should have.

Dishing up the ordering of his favorite food while he watched his favorite show on the couch.

"You don't have to do all this, you know," he mumbled when you handed him the dish.

"Let me have this," you sighed out, "I should have told you I wanted to continue our relationship but I made you wait- then it led me to-"

"It's not your fault," he cut you off, leaving you to huff and sit next to him.

Not knowing what else to say, that he wouldn't object, you settled on the truth, "I love you."

As always, he flushed red and choked on his ramen. Only mumbled a quiet 'I love you too' after he got his food down correctly.

You let him enjoy his food before saying anything else, letting him place the empty bowl on the table with another 'thank you' before you start talking about it again. "I had a dream before all that happened too," you looked down at your hands, "It was super cheesy- I did basically what I ended up doing before I found out what happened. I rushed out of my house in the middle of the night, running through the snow to get to you."

He let you think over your words, noticing you were just trying to explain how you felt.

"I just rushed out without a thought to grab my phone- it was dumb of me."

"You could never have known," Tamaki placed his hand on your knee to drag your attention to him, "It's not like your dream could have predicted that- life isn't like dreams."

"It is with you," you whispered when you looked up.

"Cheesy," he cringed, voice still soft with a smile regardless, his nose wrinkling, "You were a dream too."

He leaned in for a kiss, laughing along with you at how corny everything felt. It was everything your younger felt hoped for with just a bit more realism, it was beautiful.

You deepened the kiss once the laughter faded, going to grab his shoulder before he jerked away in pain. "Shit- sorry," you mumbled, pulling back to look at his arm.

"It's fine," he pulled you into him again with his good arm, dragging you partly in his lap, as much as he could, before he settled his hand on your hip.

"Really?" you pulled back and gave him a look, your hips were perfectly over his.

He blushed, "It's been a while since we kissed," he said in explanation.

"If only you weren't broken," you laughed, giving him a peck on the lips before moving to get off his lap.

"Hey," he held you to his lap with his hand, face still shy, "Not all of me is broken."

"Tamaki, we are not having sex for the first time with you injured," you laughed at how out of character he was being, "What happened to you being shy?"

"You told me to communicate," he frowned, "We can still kiss then? I just- I wanna be close to you. I missed you.."

"I didn't expect you to communicate sex stuff," you laughed at how he was truly going above and beyond what you asked.

He rolled his eyes, "Can we?"

"Of course," you smiled before leaning back in to kiss him.

Younger you would faint at the position he had you in once his arm was healed a week after from healing quirks.

Dreaming that he'd be so soft and loving- and while he was- he was also lost. The second he slipped his dick into you after all the foreplay, he moaned so loud. He let go of any shyness he had and started whimpering in your neck.

And that's just to put it nicely.

---

~ Part one ~ My Full Master List ~

I'll probably make a few blurbs about this if people want but I could not for the life of me write a full smut scene.

Happy Holidays!

[gay-mousebites-md]

THE BEST EPISODE OF MERLIN!!!

This is such simple story telling, a proper ghost story, lots of jump scares - and, like many horror genre stories, a strong queer subtext.

So, I'm currently getting to the end of Merlin and oh my god is it the gayest thing in the world, where was it when I needed it? Why didn't I watch it? It was literally on telly when I was being homophobically rejected by my family? I've always been an idiot, this is clear. Series 5, Episode 3, The Death Song of Uther Pendragon

“I will not allow you to destroy all that I have built! Camelot must come before all else. Even you.” — Uther to Arthur

This is what homophobic family rejection feels like. To your family, you are a destructive force. Your feelings are a demolition ball. Your peace and happiness means nothing. It is the family image, and the hopes and expectations of the parents that matters more then anything else. You must suffer in the dark. You cannot hope to see the light. It doesn't matter if you're still breathing.

The relationship between Arthur and Merlin in this episode felt like the closest we've seen yet - and this is just after they have fallen asleep in a net trap, with their faces squished together, so that's pretty darn close. (Let's not forget, they are 'more than friends, more than brothers'.) And as they demonstrate closeness, they are assailed by the ghost of Arthur's father. (It's homophobia, guys.) Arthur says repeatedly he has so many things he wanted to say to Uther, that he didn't get to say to him when he was alive. What are these unsaid things? These secrets? What does Arthur wish that Uther had known - and accepted? That he's a beautiful gay boy in love with Merlin? In the land of the dead, Uther does not allow Arthur to speak, but instead details his shame. He is talking about Gwen, but he says: "There are certain things that are more important than love." All of Arthur's actions have been made out of love - his decision to knight the unnoble, to marry 'beneath him' rather then make a strategic alliance. Uther says "How can I be proud of a son who ignores everything I taught him? Who is destroying my legacy?" Uther, over the course of the episode, makes it clear he would rather see Arthur dead before he allowed him the freedom and grace to follow his true will. (HOMOPHOBIA!!!)

Merlin's 'magic' (*wink*) is revealed to Uther - he is, true to form, appalled and repulsed by it. Uther Pendragon: You have magic? Merlin: [quivering with anger] I was born with it! Uther Pendragon: I made you Arthur's servant. You are a sorcerer? Merlin: Even while you were king, there was magic at the heart of Camelot! Uther Pendragon: I will not allow you and your kind to poison… Merlin: You're wrong. Uther Pendragon: …my kingdom! Uther remembers that it was he himself that gave Merlin access to Arthur in close quarters. I think the reading that to 'have magic' is to 'be gay' - a motif anchoring the show, resounds so strongly in this episode. And here, Uther continues in death to rage against allowing magical people to 'poison' the kingdom - in the way that homophobic rhetoric implies homosexuality can be inborn or acquired, but it always corrupts, seduces, pollutes and recruits. Uther is appalled that he positioned Merlin by Arthur's side, and opened him to this poison. Uther, like all ghosts, is vengeful. He has deep shame for the choices Arthur has made, and is making... Uther's attempts to hurt, maim or kill anything that is outside of his conservative approval... if that's not an allegory for homophobic parental rejection, I don't know what is.

Do you have magic? ARE YOU GAY!?

But this episode is bright! And funny! Merlin and Arthur are in each others pockets in this episode. They are always engaging in 'horseplay' but there is so much of it here. There is this act of boundary crossing that causes them both to pause.

ARTHUR: When do I hit you?

MERLIN: All the time.

ARTHUR: That's not hitting, Merlin, that's merely friendly slaps. It's horseplay.

MERLIN: So can I give you a 'friendly slap'?

ARTHUR: You can certainly try.

MERLIN grabs one of Arthur's leather gloves and thwacks him on the back of the head with it. His face is one of immediate regret.

ARTHUR: (Amused) What the hell was that?

MERLIN: It was, um, horseplay.

ARTHUR: No, Merlin, you're doing it all wrong. Why don't I show you? "WHY DON'T I SHOW YOU?"!!!!!!!!!! There is no heterosexual explanation for this one, boys:

There's rough horseplay. There's also tenderness. Arthur can't get enough of Merlin 'teaching him poetry'.

Sir Leon: I'll leave you to your poetry, then, my Lord. Arthur: Poetry? That's the best you could come up with? Merlin: What did you want me to say? Arthur: I don't know. Something that didn't make me sound like a love struck girl. Merlin, could you disguise our behaviour and our surprise, in a way that doesn't position me as 'love struck' and in a reversed gender role? Not today! Subtle as a brick.

And I am LIVING for the moment Uther, positioned between Arthur and Merlin, is forcibly sent back to the land of the dead. In true Merlin style, it is both comedic and devastating. Uther shouts 'MERLIN HAS...!!' before disappearing in a gasp. It's like he's pathetically shouting 'GAYLORD!' as Arthur blows his (own) trumpet and in doing so, drowns him out, and removes him as an obstacle in the way of Merlin. And then Arthur and Merlin are panting and in tears together. I think it is impossible to go through homophobic parental rejection and not be moved by this moment. I was in tears with them ... and laughing! This is a great show.

10 out of 10. I don't know how this thing ends (well, I've read the Thomas Malory...) but this episode alone is one of the best TV things I've seen.

[simplynims]

The BitterSweet polycule at last!!

It took me a bit to draw them all out but I'm happy how they turned out!

If you want to hear me yap a bit about my version of SugarBoo, feel free to read more below!

Trigger warnings before reading:

- Mentions of family members deaths

- Implied emotional abuse

- Physical abuse of a minor (e.g forced cutting hair)

- Harrassment

- Mentions of being homeless

My version of SugarBoo is named Devlin but everyone just calls him Dev for short. He's a transman that uses he/they pronouns!

He was born in California before moving out to Texas with his mom and dad, however when Dev was around 4 or 5 his dad passed away due to complications with his heart. Dev was very much a daddys boy when his dad was still alive however since his dads passing him and his mother grew closer up until she remarried when Dev was around 10.

His step dad and Dev had a really rocky relationship from the get go due to the fact Dev looks a lot like his bio father so he made him cut his hair short constantly while growing up. This is because Devs bio dad had really long hair and the resemblance between him and Dev were near identical.

Dev and his mother were very close however when it came to his step dad she didn't have the guts to really stand up to him. Dev loves his mother dearly, they used to tell each other everything and Dev genuinely believed his mom would have his back throughout anything but it came crumbling down whenever his step dad was involved.

What strained and nearly broke the relationship between him and his mom was when Dev turned 18 and got thrown out of his home. After years of his mother reassuring him and promising that he'd be able to stay there while going to college, it was all thrown out the window in an instant as soon as he turned 18. Dev felt betrayed by the one person he thought had his back because his mom did nothing to stop his step dad from throwing him out.

Dev was basically living in his dingy car his mom bought for him when he was 16 for almost a year before he was able to get back on his feet again. It was around 5 years later did he recieve any messages or news from his mom and it was from the hospital stating that his step dad and mom were both in a car crash. His step dad didn't make it but his mom was still clinging on so they called whoever she put down as her emergency contacts. And the only person she put down was Devlins number.

Despite how much Dev wanted to decline, he broke and ended up going back to see his mom again in the hospital. She was still alive but the doctors confirmed she wouldn't be able to live on without a proper care taker so Dev ended up taking that role.

Dev really wanted to hate his mom, he hated how she betrayed him like that all those years ago and a part of him still won't let it go. But, seeing the shit his mom went through and believing he was going to lose his mom permanently, it shook him to his core. After everything that happened, Dev still loved his mom and still wanted her in his life. The two ended up talking a lot when she was finally discharged, a lot of things came out and a lot of tears were shed. In the end, Dev ended up forgiving his mom however he made it clear that although he forgives her he won't ever forget what she did to him. It's something he needs to work out in therapy.

Dev took care of his mom for almost 2 years and within those two years he and his mom had been harassed constantly by his step dads family. His step dad was a very rich man and his family were harassing them for his money, assest, etc. The will was vauge and the court proceedings were long, even after it was settled that Dev and his mom would get majority of his assets and money they still kept hounding them for more.

Dev really tried to not let it effect his moms health, he was taking on a lot of responsibilities and fighting off his step dads family just added more to his plate. They made his and his moms life hell for nearly two years up until his mom passed away. Dev made a promise to his mom that he would live life well and wouldn't depend on anyone for anything and that started with Dev selling everything he could that didn't have emotional value after her funeral and dropping off the face of the earth to anyone who knew him in that god awful town.

He needed a fresh start, somewhere far away where his step dads family could never find him, somewhere he could build a life in peace and that landed him in the town where he met two men that would change his life for the better.

This is all I have for now but Dev is definitely my more well written out listeners and I adore him so!!

[shycroissanti]

IRINA GONSHIRA🌌💙

✨️A "little" about her✨️

Answering @yaegxr 's ask💖

AAAA I'M SO HAPPY YOU LIKE HER!!🥹💖

Well, I don't have the complete story yet (because I'm not associating my OCs with Demon Slayer anymore exactly because now I'm focusing on a totally original story - but I can still write a little about this version of it), and also my blog is still a bit messy, but nothing stops me from writing now!!

Starting with the basic information!!

Name: Irina Gonshira

Age: 19 years old

Height: 1.70m

Birthday: August 23

Family:

Yuliya Gonshira - mother

Masato Gonshira - father

Liliya Gonshira - younger sister

Dmitry Gonshira - cousin

History:

Irina has always been a cheerful and determined girl. She comes from a rich and powerful family (Yuliya is one of the best demon hunters, and Masato is a very famous architect/engineer there)

Inspired mainly by her mother, since she was little, Irina had the dream of being like Yuliya, strong and able to protect everyone around her, so she starts training from a very young age, which irritated her father, who did not support her (and this generates conflicts throughout the story).

At a certain point, Irina meets Kishin, an orphan boy who was bullied by almost everyone in the orphanage where he lived, but the worst of all was Kenta, another orphan boy. Irina saves Kishin and soon the two become very attached to each other, creating a very strong friendship. And at the same time, creating a huge rivalry with Kenta.

Later, around the age of 15 to 17, Irina's life would become total chaos.

First, Yuliya had to leave for an extremely important mission, leaving her entire family behind. Since then, Irina has never heard from her mother again.

Soon, she suffered the comet incident (comic) , where a comet hit her in the middle of the forest while she was walking at night. She almost died, but the comet's energy kept her alive and changed everything in her body and mind. Irina feels more energetic and much more outgoing, even becoming much more impulsive and noisy. This energy is great for keeping her strong and ready for anything, but it is also very dangerous, because if she cannot control her feelings properly, Irina feels a strong burning sensation throughout her body, which hurts her a lot (in other words, she has "super powers" that help her and at the same time destroy her).

Another thing that happened is that her beloved friend, Kishin, turned into a demon (he had no other option, he became a demon against his will - comic ). Kishin knew that Irina's dream had always been to be a demon hunter, and now that he was one, he believed that she would hate him and that they could never be together again, so he tried to avoid her all day, because he didn't know what to do, he didn't want to end his beloved Irina's dreams.

While this was happening, at Irina's house, Masato was already tired of everything, having lost his wife (who in truth Masato didn't even care much about Yuliya at that point) and because Irina was a great disappointment to him. So Masato came up with a plan to get rid of Irina. He told her that she should leave and go on a supposed mission far away from there so that she could be part of the Sunlights (in this case, the Sunlights are like the Hashiras, but in the Sunlight Force universe). Irina believed her father without hesitation, so she left home soon after, and finally went looking for Kishin, because she couldn't leave him like that without telling him. Irina was already sad about everything that was happening, so she finally found Kishin, and her world fell apart completely.

Kishin was desperate. He tried to do everything, promise her that he would never do anything like the demons do, and he, heartbroken, said that he could leave and live in isolation if she wanted. At that point, Irina breaks down, her sense of reality was completely altered. She always heard Yuliya's stories about how all demons are evil and must be defeated, but seeing her beloved Kishin like that, she could never do something like that (and even more so because she noticed that Kishin was still the same guy she always loved), so Irina hugs him and promises that they will stay together, that it doesn't matter if he was a demon and she wanted to be a Sunlight, she dreamed of protecting those she loves, and she loves him, so the two stayed together and nothing would separate them.

So since Irina needed to go on the "mission" that Masato had told her and Kishin could no longer live there, the two left the city, and thus the various adventures that I have been writing about have happened.

Now some fun facts!

Irina's favorite food is tamago sando.

Irina is afraid of onions.

She loves collecting rocks.

She likes to cook, but she often burns all the pies she makes.

Sorry, I guess I got excited to write about her xD But still, you can always find more stuff about her with the tag #Irina Gonshira or check out my other blog @shycroissanti-comics , there are all the arts and comics I've ever made :D

Sorry if I wrote a lot of things wrong (〃ﾉωﾉ)

And please consider helping me by reblogging thisﾟ+.(*´pωq`)ﾟ+.💖💖