#I'm hanging out with the right people
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@enderfore replied to your post “What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333”:
Chenya pic where???? I can barely see anything in that room there so much going on, rooks such a lil freak (affectionatr)
he's under the row of flags on Neige's side of the room, next to the big Neige poster with the yellow background (look just to the right of the hand holding the apple)! he's REAL little; once you know he's there you can kind of see him in-game, but I only noticed him in the first place because I took a screenshot and was having fun zooming in on all the details!
I think that's either Hop or Snick and Dominic on either side of Neige, but if the others are meant to be anyone in particular I don't recognize 'em. though I do love all the absolutely terrifying implications of Rook having this. was this some kind of officially-published merchandise (and if so, why) or did Rook like...go hunting through the RSA trash to find this random student lineup just because it included Neige, and has had it hanging proudly on the wall ever since. (I mean, he definitely did do this, I don't know why I'm asking. the real question is why he hasn't cut out little pictures of his own face and stuck them over everyone else's yet.)
there is seriously SO MUCH in this room. how did Rook manage to keep this hidden for three years. also, somebody give this background artist a raise immediately.
#screenshot#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#this just in: the savanaboys are canonically very respectful of each other's privacy and right to their own personal space#the other option is that no one actually wants to see why rook is always so desperate to keep people out of his room#but these are not mutually exclusive! leona respects your boundaries through genuinely not giving a shit. ⭐️#god. rook's room really was somehow exactly what i expected but also so much more than i could have ever imagined.#the literal divide down the center including his BEDSHEETS AND PILLOW#do you think rook makes sure to sleep precisely down to the mm in the center of his bed each night what am i saying of course he does#he has also probably trained his eyes to move independently so he can look at both of the hanging posters above his bed at once#savanarook really was such a treasure. i shall miss him.#(i have also decided based on basically nothing that because there's a banner with vil's unique magic name on it)#(and the corresponding banner for neige says '[someday my] prince will come')#(that i'm going to headcanon this as being neige's unique magic. i must know what it does. the possibilities are TANTALIZING)
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Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.
#Fear and Hunger#D'arce Cataliss#Cahara#Ragnvaldr#Enki Ankarian#Unlike Dungeon Meshi - I cannot in good faith recommend this game to a broad audience.#My background with F&H goes as follows: I am hanging out with a friend. He says “hey try this game I've been playing.” I say “Okay!”#I have never heard of this game. I pick the mercenary. I go through 5 min of character history and background. I am mauled to death by dogs#It took me 4 resets to even get in the dungeon. But I finally get there. I am caught by a guard. He cuts off all but one of my limbs#I am forced to crawl around in a blood and corpse pit until the game tells me 'give up idiot'.#I reset. I am mauled by dogs again. I realize this is not for me but I am intrigued enough to go home and watch some playthroughs#And WOW what an interesting game it is! I really do appreciate games that blend their design philosophy with the theme it wants to set#This is a game about fear and hunger. And persevering. And penis (my god is there a lot of penis)#I recommend this to people who like extremely challenging games and can handle the many *content warnings* within this series#If the idea of Bloodborne/eldenring and undertale having a little RPG maker baby sounds appealing to you - give it a shot#It's made by ONE GUY and it's a great horror game. I am just really bad at it.#My friends just enjoy putting me in situations where I scream and yell. We don't talk about the corn mazes. Or the other horror game nights#Apparently I'm funny when I'm Scared!#As people who follow me on twitter might know; I am deep in the pits of this series right now. I will be back with more art.
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You mentioned before that the people who would have access to Machete's bedchamber would likely already know about Vasco. How did that come up in your mind? Did they get caught in the act or was the subject broached with enough trust? How did those people handle it? Sorry if this is a bit vague but I thought about it today and I'm very interested. :)
I think it just has to be the case, I can't imagine how they could manage to hide the fact Vasco is bunking with him from everyone, for years and years. Machete doesn't live alone, he has staff and servants who do his housekeeping and run his errands. Even if Vasco didn't stay there for any extended periods of time and snuck out the back door to avoid attention, I'm assuming at least the people who do his laundry and change his sheets would eventually detect that some sort of funny business had happened. But the number of people who are in on it is still very very small and tightly controlled. His assistant Vittorio definitely knows and helps to manage this situation, so does his personal doctor, and on top of that maybe a handful of most trusted high-ranking emplyees, which he has vetted extremely carefully and pays handsomely for their discreetness and prudence.
#or something along those lines surely there has to be a way for this to work people have had secret affairs since the beginning of time#if you hire someone#or more likely promote someone you know who has worked for you for years and has proven to be trustworthy and unlikely to betray you#and there's a very high risk that that person will find out your secrets it's better to bring them to their attention yourself#in a controlled setting ahead of time#instead of waiting to see if/when you're caught and not knowing how they will react#right?#and his private quarters are indeed private you don't go snooping in there without a good reason and an official permission#answered#anonymous#Vaschete lore#Vasco hanging around there often probably isn't an immediate red flag it's a big house and people can have friends and guests#plus at the time it was generally more common and accepted for two men to be close friends and openly attached to each other platonically#it's sunday morning and I'm awake trying to piece together the practical logistics of#maintaining an undercover long term relationship between two 16th century statesmen
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see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went
#qsmp#qsmp pepito#this post is not about roier's parenting i PROMISE you don't need to defend your cubito#this is literally about pepito being bobbled between caretakers#bad etoiles foolish forever bagi pac and more that i just haven't seen#just. people who have shown an interest and desire to hang out with pepito and keep pepito safe#pepito went to find parents and look!! look!!!#listen. listen. to me the qsmp is about love. not mystery not roleplay not drama not plot.#the qsmp is at its ABSOLUTE best when it is People Talking To Each Other#purgatory was AMAZING for me as a bolas viewer bc if bolas was in the server THEY WERE IN A CALL they were CONSTANTLY talking and i THRIVED#people adopting each other into their fake families in the most middle school childlike wondrous form of love there is#when you like your friend so much they're your fake spouse. your fake child. your fake parent. your fake sibling.#eggs and parents that's LOVE tubbo and fred that's LOVE tazercraft and walter bob that's LOVE; cellbit and roier; phil and missa#baghera and bad and forever; bad and bagi; pierre and maxo; maxo and EVERYTHING his son his daughter his partner the theory bros#favela six that's LOVE LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SERVER EVEN ELENA WHO WE'VE KNOWN FOR AN HOUR IS ABOUT LOVE. HER PARTNER IS HER DRIVE.#jaiden's story is driven by LOVE the hole from the love of her son and chasing cucurucho's 'love' in return it's LOVE it's UNDERSTANDING#there's so much love and i'm biased to my povs but holy shit i will repeat it until y'all roll your eyes seeing me on the dash#like NOT THIS ANIME POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BULLSHIT AGAIN no i'm right u can't fight me#block game brainrot#shut up vic
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Aromantic Jon who doesn't know they're aro who treats romantic relationships like yet another chore they have to do now that they're an adult. They're in their twenties now. They've put it off for long enough but they're going to have to do it eventually, it's just what adults do. They sort of approach every relationship like an obligation they're checking off of their to-do list. People keep breaking up with them for it. They used to think everyone else also felt like being in a romantic relationship was a huge burden, but after a few comments landed weird they now suspect it's just yet another short-coming of theirs (they've never been good at understanding other people anyways).
They don't think about it for most of the plot of the podcast, due to the. Everything. Until maybe around S4. But by that point they've basically decided that that doesn't matter any more. Too much time, effort, and risk for anyone not already involved (and no one who IS involved is an option). It's a massive weight off their shoulders. They draw no larger conclusions from this.
#aro jon#obligatory do not tag this with martin or j//mart please and thank you#tbh one of the reasons i 'just wasn't interested in dating right now'#was that 'i barely have enough energy for my friends let alone an actual PARTNER'#'would i have to text them a lot? see them multiple times a week??'#i remember eating dinner with my extended family about a year or so back#and my cousin was w/ his gf (and maybe her family as well?) instead (he was visiting her like every day)#and someone (i think it was my uncle?) told me that it was normal for people who were in love to want to spend all their time together#which i thought was fucking. Weird As Hell. who has the time?? the energy???? to hang out with the SAME PERSON every day??????#when my family pointed out that my parents see each other all the time i was like#'yeah. they live together. they'd have to go out of their way to avoid that'#and i was so fucking confused. because i sort of thought that the USUAL romantic relationship thing was#you go out with them like once a week#and maybe you stay over at their place occasionally#and then you move in#this was around the time when i was questioning if i was aro. no i did not realize then and there that the answer was YES#fuck it. maintagging this. aro jon rights!!#jonathan sims#jon sims#tma#the magnus archives#also implied autistic jon. that man is so auDHD to me#no i'm not projecting. shut up.
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Happy Valentine's Day! :)
#pmatga#my art#pmatga oc#betrayus spheros#stratos spheros#pacster#spiral#cylindria#elliptica#mei lián#oscar morin#these were fun to draw. and also very difficult because I don't draw affection/ anything romantic often :(#I've also kind of expended myself a little so i'm going to /try/ and take a break from drawing! o7#I like to imagine that Pac and Spiral are very supportive on their friends on Valentine's Day. but also hang out with each other all day#because they're best friends :)#OH RIGHT- The pattern I was sensing (with my two previous posts) was that I draw people being carried A LOT
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I don't know if this is a point that needs defending, but I feel strongly that Tommy's love language is quality time.
Evidence with Buck:
We've already talked extensively about how Tommy Shows Up to the wedding even sooty and exhausted.
At the bachelor party, he's not especially demonstrative, but he's THERE when he's sleepy and on standby and the party sucks, and he only leaves when he's called in to work.
They don't touch at the medal ceremony (I headcanon that they agreed not to), but Tommy sits next to him, stands next to him, goes through the buffet line with him.
Offering flying lessons and Muay Thai lessons: This isn't really an act of service, because neither of these is actually useful to Buck -- but they are a way to spend time together. The Muay Thai conversation is literally, "Of course you'd rather hang out with Eddie" / "I'll teach you so you can hang out with me too!"
In the first kiss scene and the 7x10 date night, Tommy shares his own feelings of jealousy. Words of affirmation would have stayed on Buck (you're great, you have nothing to be jealous of, your birth father doesn't deserve you); switching to himself puts the quality in quality time (we're bonding, we're having a deep conversation, this is reciprocal).
And with EDDIE. oh BOY:
Goes to his house THREE TIMES in the first TWO WEEKS, I'm still hung up on this, that's so fast.
Muay Thai
Working on cars
Karaoke trivia night
Basketball
Trip to Vegas: Kind of an act of service/gift, but if it was easy for him to get the tickets, the emphasis is more on spending a significant amount of time together.
Again. It's been a few WEEKS.
I suspect Tommy is amazing at words of affirmation when necessary, and I like to imagine he's big on romantic touch. But what we've seen of him in season 7 leans heavily toward Being Together, rather than Doing Things, as the way he expresses interest. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
#911#9-1-1 abc#tommy kinard#bucktommy#i kind of have a personal stake in this#as a quality time person who grew up implicitly believing acts of service were the Right way to show love#yes yes love languages are a scam#but it was huge for me and my family to realize that hanging out in the living room *is* a significant gesture for me#even if i'm not making dinner or whatever#and fandoms never talk about quality time you know?#there's a huge emphasis on acts of service guys#followed by words of affirmation and maybe touch if you're feeling soft#but i hardly ever see people appreciate quality time or gifts#the anti-tommy faction criticizes him for not being loud enough in his affection#'downer' comments and not wearing a costume#but his presence counts for something! showing up and hanging out *is* a valid expression of affection!#anyway#tommy 'mr. quality time' kinard is something that can be so personal
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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just got a dm abt one of my posts and y'all please don't try and show the hermits (or any minecraft youtuber or content creator for that matter) my posts, i'm uncomfortable with it and don't want any of my posts shown to a cc. if they stumble upon it naturally that's unfortunate but i can live with it since i do maintag a lot (something i REALLY need to stop doing tbh i already know i need to make a tagging system just for my blog that wont clog results) but going out of ur way to show a cc is entirely different and something i am not comfortable with.
no hate to the person at all but even if i wasn't a little silly and weird with it sometimes i wouldn't be comfortable with it, i want my blog to be a purely fandom only space with none of the creators involved <3 please respect this
#which is imo how a fandom space should be#i'm old fashioned and it breaks the fandom etiquette rules i stand by#i ship and stuff and absolutely NO cc needs to be subjected to that please and thank you even if it's a non-ship post#not saying hermits and others cant hang out and interact if they wish hell no but like....#if you as any person with a following willingly go into a fandom space you have to expect to see some things you find weird#doesn't even necessarily mean ship just stuff the cc finds weird :v idk im not phrasing this right but like#the rule with shipping around any sort of media has been to keep it away and not show the creators anything !!! and thats fallen out#of practice the past few years with ppl getting more and more comfortable demanding boundaries and personal info from creators#which isn't right imo bc its like you're trying to see how much you can get away with. u want a guide on how to interact and social skills#which is... huh??? just be polite and keep anything weird away from them like what we were doing#some folks nowadays need “permission” to ship stuff even from SHOWS and shit with no real people and its like wow... huh....#u need it to be canon?? u need everything told to u by the show?? wheres the imagination. the spirit.#the making of everything so far removed from what it once was#like that guy that played nick from heartstopper that had to be outed to play a gay guy. like#idk im so sick of the boundary fandom ppl in mcyt 'what if they saw and made it uncomfortable!! im going to show them!!!!'#you are making them MUCH more uncomfortable than i am by GOING INTO THEIR FACE AND DEMANDING THEY LOOK AT IT!!#AND DEMANDING BOUNDARIES N SHIT... CRAZY.... idk the hermits especially its weird to me bc clearly they understand fandom etiquette#and the dynamic im talking about. most of them understand that by going into fandom spaces they will see things they dont like#which is why a lot of them only like fanart and answer questions asked by fans. even on tumblr !!! where the weird ppl are!!!#they also all seem to understand they are playing characters (citing joel cleo and grian as examples) for their audiences#which is. smth the audience itself doesnt understand most of the time anymore. oh my god they all died in real life in hermitcraft season 8#idk hermitblr used to be a lot more okay with hermitshipping n then a bunch of ppl from other fandoms moved in and its all more negative#and makes me sad. idk...#i never meant for this blog to gain almost 500 followers i just wanted to make silly little ship posts and now im scared to#bc ive gotten hate and its.... bwugh.... tempted to remake blogs and make one thats very clearly just for me and a few weirdos#whatever i went off on a tangent in the tags as usual just pls dont show creators my posts even non-ship ones for this reason#jamies bad posts#talking in tags#serious posts#<- ig??? idk
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people get that "so high school" is like ... being silly on purpose, right??
#i saw a comment on reddit or something that was like 'okay WAY tmi about what taylor and travis do when they hang out!'#and i was like 'you ..... you do know ........ you can tell ...... that this is like ....... very obviously .......... a conceit ... right?#'like. this is humor. happening. in front of your ears.'#though i do hope they watch american pie and chill on a saturday night i guess why not#dollsome's deep thoughts#like. 'touch me while your friends play grand theft auto' is a FUNNY LINE!#i guess that's what i was getting at here#everyone acting like that line is a sign that she can't write lyrics doesn't seem entirely fair to me#since it's clearly ........ a joke?!?!?!#idk. i put too much reddit in my brain.#i'm not a huge white knight for taysway but i love people picking up on TONE!
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sometimes a family is two queer traumatised substance-abusing teenage boys and their little gay dog
#the goldfinch#boreo#fuck it i'm not tagging anything else the real ones will find this#anyway guess whos reconsuming the goldfinch in all 2 (two) of its forms#i said this old hyperfixation would come back and i was right!!#i need to be chemically restrained#hi to the three people still hanging out in the boreo fandom this is for you i love you#and btw they become two men in love recovering from trauma and crime and drugs and they live together in nyc with their old gay dog :)#because i said so :)#i should write a fanfiction#eve text#eve's great tgf rehyperfixation
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I'm so used to people not directly liking me. I don't know what to do if people express they actually like me. You want to have physical contact with me?? But aren't I objectively repulsive? Whoa.
#i feel like#I'm obviously fat and hairy#and they know im trans#all those things are usually offputting to people who are attracted to men#people who want bears always want cis bears#people who want trans guys usually want skinny hairless trans guys#and also im just like???#i dont know what their direction of attraction is like i have reason to think theyre only#or at least predomonantly#into guys#and i am SO not used to qualifying as a guy#gnot me#ill let yall know how it goes ig#oh right the whole point of this post was like#i usually make an effort to not look fat#but i dont fit into any of my shapewear any more so i met this person belly hanging out and everythiny#and they werent horrified??#so like#maybe they actually are attracted to fat guys?#it makes me want to not make an effort to hide behind clothes because#wow what if someone does actually like me
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#i didn't think i would love going to the lab so much i prefer to wear a mask for the whole day than to stay home#you know what that is? growth and the right people#now i don't want to 🦉 but it's gonna be the first time in a really long time that I'll see the same people every day for a whole year#i hope I'm gonna be able to build something stable and strong because i desperately need it rg#*rn#only downside is we all live really far away from each other so hanging out outside the lab will be challenging#but we'll see#also doing you little reactions and tlc and nmr is sooo funny you get to measure things and use funny little machines#and get frustrated when things go wrong and sometimes the numbers won't make any sense and you'll color your tlc to see amines or benzile#or hydroxile groups and you'll be like omg look at it!!!!#and you'll evaporate your solvent and fight with the machine but you'll have nice little white freckles of something and you'll be so happy#you can't wait to go on with the reaction#and sometimes you'll decide to hate a stirbar for no real reason so you put it in jail and joke about it with the other people in there and#you'll give funny names to smelly compounds and you'll be exhausted by the end of the day but so enriched#also because you spent lunch break sharing your pets pictures#i think life should always be like this
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one of my best friends is about to have a baby today........... so weird to be on the periphery of something so life changing. I want to go "life is going to change forever" as if it hasn't already
#I was thinking last night about how different we both are from the versions of us that were being young and active and busy and fit in pgh#before the pandemic and before her very targeted focused dating efforts yielded her the result she wanted (her now-husband)#[also I don't say that cattily lol she had the most coolheaded and down-to-business approach to dating bc she knew what she wanted.#and it worked!]#anyways I think back on that halcyon year of 2019 when we went to spin classes and spent every weekend doing something#or hanging out in her tiny mt. washington studio where we could watch downtown buzz at night#truly it was such a short period of time in retrospect. she convinced me to move here + then a year and a half later the whole world changed#and so too did we#I miss the her of those years (and I miss the me) but I'm making peace with not getting her back. it's cool to see her on this new journey#which she has worked so very hard for. like I cannot overstate the methodical and intentional way in which she has shaped her life to be#what she wants out of it. accounting for many bumps along the way that she's weathered admirably.#anyways within the next 48 hours she should be a mom. that's crazy#I feel weird when everyone around me is making lifechanging moves while I'm ''ho hum where should I go on vacation in the next 2 years'' lol#ay yai yai. strange to not want things other people want and being fine with that until you start losing touchpoints with your peers#then you're like. hang on now. what am I supposed to be doing right now
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Aro Jon who gets, like, occasional fixations on other peo-ple where he thinks about them all the time, figuring "well that's probably a crush," and sort of, consciously doubles down (because that's what you do with crushes right??). Like he has a lot of emotional investment in these people and he thinks about them and sometimes even tries to talk to them because that's what you do when you have a crush. Who is taken off-guard literally every time any of those people want to kiss him or hold hands or go on dates. And it's not that he doesn't know kissing or hand-holding or romance or whatever aren't part of crushes and relationships it's just he's mysteriously never been particularly interested in those parts so he doesn't think about them until suddenly his "crush" brings them up. Like they're some vague thing that future Jon will do but why is current Jon expected to think about them? Current Jon isn't in any relationship. And maybe he does end up hearing the term "aromantic" but he thinks -"well that can't be me because I have crushes. I have crushes all the time." Does this make sense? Do you see my vision?
(Also my cat walked across the keyboard as I was writing this to add two small dashes and I'm leaving them in because I think it's funny)
#obligatory no martin or j//mart please#sorry i just don't like them. i don't wanna see them in my notes#ok it's like this:#lonely (probably nd) aro who thinks they're allo/doesn't know about aro people#and who's looking for crushes because 'well surely i should start getting those about now right??'#and also it's like. supposed tobe the no. 1 relationship so they'll need to love you and hang out with you all the time#and surely they'll finally UNDERSTAND you because they LOVE you#and you'll be their biggest priority and you won't be lonely anymore#oh and you'll kiss and stuff at some vague point. probably.#that's not important tho what IS important is that they will Get you and Prioritize you for ever and ever.#no i'm not projecting. shut up.#i AM maintagging my nonsense tho. so watch out.#jon sims#jonathan sims#tma#the magnus archives#aromantic jonathan sims#aromantic jon#aromantic jon sims
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Considering yesterday was one of the worst days I've had all year, and then today is hands-down the BEST day I've had all year, I now think literally anything is possible.
Guys please keep pushing forward. Your ray of sunshine could be a lot closer than you think it is.
#i'm being so serious#if you're looking for a reason to live right now think of what makes you happy#could be literally anything. ice cream; video game; your pet; grass; ect#hold onto that#it doesn't matter how stupid it sounds if it's keeping you alive#yesterday i was boarderline s//dal and today i feel like i'm on the top of the world#and it was all pure circumstance. yesterday my pet was at the vet and work sucked and people kept disrespecting me#and today i got confirmation i can get top surgery and i finally achieved a goal in a game i've been working for for months now#AND TWO old friends stopped by and we got to hang out for a while!#literally anything is possible okay you just gotta hold on#i promise it will get better. i can't promise when but i can promise you it will#but not if you give up#keep pushing. i love you. i see you. i support you. don't give up.#dimond speaks
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