#I'm gonna write all day tomorrow and go so many out as possible

[echoingbirdsofprey]

Lightning On My Lips (Every Time You Kiss Me)

25 - Middle Of A Memory

Pairing: Tyler Owens x OFC Georgia Tennley-Owens

Rating: EXPLICIT (MDNI!)

Warnings: SMUT, truck smut hahaha, protected!piv, dirty talkin' Tyler, almost getting caught, then sad, sorry, mentions of injury (Tyler's)

A/N: Did you think I was gonna leave you hanging with the other two stories? Nah. These are still going to get updated! Delicate will be tomorrow or Thursday and a new chapter for the crossover this week too! These are flashbacks from their rodeo days! And why Georgia left him. I almost thought about writing a prequel for this story, but I'm not that's too many WIPs to have hahaha. As always reblogs, comments, and likes are very appreciated! I love all y'alls feedback! Please enjoy this one, I had fun with it even though it's a little sad at the end!

Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03

“Hey, Arkansas.” Tyler heard the barrel racer’s pretty chime of a voice and he thought he might melt. God, he loved when she called him that. 

“Yeah, Peach?” He sauntered over to her, a slight limp in his step. She watched him with concern, but then as he neared, and his hands wrapped around her waist, all the worry left her and she melted into him. 

“I’d like to celebrate your win.” Georgia said, snaking her hands around the back of his neck. His lids lowered and he smirked.

“And how would you like to do that? I mean we’ve got beer in the trailer, unless you want a lil’ summin’ stronger?” Tyler asked, pushing her up against his truck. It was a huge, ancient square bodied Ford, blue with tan and silver pinstripes along the sides and bed. 

“Maybe a shot of somethin’ stronger and I’ve got a lil’ somethin’ in mind but we have to move the truck.” Georgia said, her voice tipped with a lusty undertone that Tyler definitely noticed. His brows raised and he didn’t know his smirk could get any more mischievous, but it did then. They proceeded to, very quickly, put their gear away, Tyler’s bull riding equipment thrown in the bed of his truck and Georgia’s spurs and her saddles chucked into the tack room of her trailer. They locked up her truck and trailer and then hopped in his truck. Tyler grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels from the back seat and handed it to Georgia. As he started the engine, she told him where to go so that they were away from the rodeo grounds and in a quiet area where there shouldn’t have been much traffic. It was a turnoff that she’d seen earlier when they’d pulled in that morning and she’d been thinking about it all day and how it would be a perfect place for a couple to make out with each other. 

Tyler pulled the truck over and wedged it as far as he could get it hidden. His heart was absolutely pounding in his chest, knowing exactly what Georgia wanted to do. As he shut the engine off, Georgia opened the bottle of Jack and took a long swig, then handed it to Tyler. He smirked wildly and took a gulp of it, groaning at the burn as it cascaded down his throat. He screwed the cap back on and put it on the dashboard carefully. He hadn’t eaten anything all day so when the whiskey hit, it hit him hard even though it was only a small amount. He felt the world spin and he chuckled as Georgia climbed over the center console and put her legs on either side of his. He pushed the seat back and down as far as possible to give her plenty of room.

“Watch your head, Peach.” He said, reaching up to block her from hitting the back of her head on the roof of the truck. She laughed and leaned down to kiss him, a sloppy and whiskey tainted kiss that hadd Tyler absolutely reeling. His jeans were entirely too tight and he needed them off, now. Georgia could feel him through the denim and it only made her attack his mouth with even more desire. She threaded her fingers through his sandy brown hair and tugged just a little, making Tyler groan in anticipation. 

“Tyler...I want you so bad.” Georgia’s voice lowered an octave and Tyler shifted, thrusting his hips up at her. His hands traveled to the hem of her tank top, pulling it up over her head. His eyes got lost for a moment as he took in her gorgeous breasts, spilling out of the top of her bra. 

“Fuck, Peach, you’re so hot.” He tipped his head down, pressing careful kisses to the swell of her breasts and biting at her nipples through the fabric. Georgia’s fingers dug into the back of his skull, and his hands cupped one tit and her jaw, steadying her as they exchanged breaths. She reached down between them, undoing her belt first and Tyler did his absolute best to help her drag them down her muscular thighs. Those thighs could end him in a heartbeat. They were thick and strong from years of riding lots of horses and he adored them. Her jeans were deposited on the floor and on their way back up, Tyler’s hands took a hold of her ass cheeks and squeezed hard, earning a loud moan from her. 

She unbuckled his belt then, trying her best to keep her lips on his as she helped free his aching cock. He lifted his hips so that she could slide his jeans and boxers down just enough to expose him. He felt instant relief and sighed as he took her lips with his once again. She hovered over him then, his length just brushing against the wetness between her legs. She’d soaked through her panties. 

“Congrats on your big win, Arkansas. Are you ready to accept your prize?” She asked huskily as he popped open the center console. He let loose a nervous laugh as he fumbled for a condom. He knew he had one in there somewhere. She rubbed her cheek against his, awaiting his answer. Her cheeks were such a pretty pink, partially from arousal and partially from how fucking hot it suddenly was inside the cab of the truck. Tyler had begun to sweat and as he found a condom, ripped it open and rolled it onto his cock, he took in the scent of their sex and sweat mingling. It was a musky and heavy scent, tinged with the smell of old leather from their boots and belts that hung in the air and only served to excite them both more. Tyler reached down and pulled her panties to one side and thrust up into her hard. A strangled moan escaped her lips and Tyler grabbed the back of her neck, reeling her back in for a hungry kiss. 

“Ride me, Peach, use me to get’chur self off. That’s the only prize I want right now.” His voice was gravelly as one of his hands reached her jaw again, holding her into a hard kiss. His other hand met her lower back, gently guiding her as she began to move up and down his length. She grasped for purchase on his shoulder and let her fingers drop between their bodies, two digits meeting her clit and rubbing rapid circles. They both couldn’t help the noises that came from their mouths, a mix of heavy breaths and low moans, and Tyler couldn't help the words that fell from his lips. “God, Peach, you feel so fuckin’ good. You’re so good at ridin’ me, doin’ such a good job.”

“Ohhh, Tyler, I’m close...fuck I’m sooo close.” Georgia whimpered, her brows knitting. Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt her orgasm building quickly, the little bit of whiskey now fully fueling her and lighting her body on fire. 

“I know, Gee, I know, I can feel it, You feel so...fuckin’ good...Come for me, darlin’.” Tyler choked on his words as he too felt his release. Georgia’s pussy clamped down on him as she lost her rhythm completely and Tyler was done for right then and there. His cock throbbed and he filled the condom. He saw stars and his whole body tensed as he took over for her, guiding her hips through the waves of her finish. 

“Tyler, Tyler, yes, Tyler, yes, oh my god.” His name sounded like a prayer and he chuckled hearing the twang in her voice with the way she said his name. He fucking loved it. They both ceased all movements then, Tyler breathing a heavy, shuddering sigh. Georgia’s chest heaved and he enjoyed the view, one of her breasts now halfway out of her bra. Tyler couldn’t help himself as he let his lips drop and sucked her nipple into his mouth, causing her tit to fall completely out. Tyler pulled his lips away and then his laugh bellowed through the cab of the truck. His mouth dropped open, the corners of his lips turned up, his long dimples showing. Georgia giggled softly as her hands met his chest. She let a finger open his shirt just a bit more, playing with the light dusting of hair there. 

“Fuck, Gee, that felt...woo...fuckin’ amazin’.” Tyler said softly, his hands squeezing her hips. They’d been so consumed by each other, that they hadn’t seen headlights enter the pull-off. They hadn’t heard anyone get out of the truck and it startled them both when someone knocked on the bed.

“Hey, y’all okay?” They both jumped at the voice. They recognized it. 

“Fuck, Tyler!” Georgia squeaked, as he pulled out of her and  his jeans up awkwardly as they heard the gravel crunching getting closer. Georgia jumped into the passenger seat and Tyler chucked her jeans at her, which she put on as quickly as she could. She tucked her breasts back into her bra and yanked her tank top back on as the person knocked on Tyler’s window. It was Skylar Steele, a roper from the rodeo.

“Hey, Tyler, everythin’ okay? We saw y’all up’n’scoot and didn’t know if somethin’ was wrong.” He said and Tyler shook his head.

“Nah everythin’s fine. Just went out to grab a bottle of whiskey for my win.” Tyler lied and it made Georgia smirk. Skylar leaned against the truck and waved at her.

“Hey, Georgia. Tyler’s pretty impressive, huh?” He asked and Georgia just smiled and said ‘sure is’ and reached over to run her fingers over Tyler’s cheek. 

“Thanks for yur concern, Skylar. We’re all set.” Tyler’s voice got tight and Skylar nodded and wiggle his brows.

“Yup, I see that now. See ya back at the rodeo. Come have some drinks with us if y’all are up to it.” Skylar said as he patted the roof of the truck and then walked back to his truck. Tyler and Georgia waited until he backed out of the pull-off and they both sighed heavily and then laughed.

“Holy shit, Ty.” Georgia leaned back over the center console and kissed him hard, which he graciously accepted.

“That was fuckin’ crazy. We should go back and clean up. I shoved my dick in my pants with the condom still on.” He said and Georgia bit her lip and smirked.

“Did you like your prize?” She asked as she sat back in the seat and he started the truck, adjusting his seat back to where it was drivable. He nodded.

“Best prize ever, Peach.”

🌪️🛻🌪️

One month later.

Tyler was unconscious. He had been for two days. Boone had stayed most of the time, but Georgia had popped in and out as much as she could while taking care of her horses and the girls that she was coaching at that particular rodeo. Boone was quietly sleeping in the chair in the corner of the room when Georgia walked into the room. She frowned and stepped toward the bed, placing her hand over Tyler’s. He didn’t move at all. The whole thing scared the shit out of Georgia. His breathing was the only thing that let her know he was still alive. 

Boone stirred, opening his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face. He yawned and smiled at Georgia.

“Hey, Georgia. He’s still not awake. Hasn’t been. They said they had to put him in a medically induced coma so his brain can heal.” Boone explained and tears stung Georgia’s eyes as she glanced from Boone back to Tyler. The cut on his head had been stitched up. Another scar. Just like the ones on his ribs. On his back. Across his collarbone. His hips. His knees. He was a fucking mess. But she loved him all the same.

“Do they know how long?” She asked quietly and Boone shook his head.

“He’s in pretty bad shape. Pelvis is fractured too. And one of his knees is broke. They said he’s gonna need surgery for both and then it’s gonna be a long recovery.” Boone stood and he placed his hands gently on the bed next to Tyler. Georgia shook her head.

“Boone...I...what do I do? I can’t stay.” She said and Boone’s brow furrowed.

“Whatdoya mean? He’s your boyfriend.” Boone took a breath and it hitched as his stare grew hard. Georgia shook her head in disbelief.

“I can't give up everything for him right now. My whole career...I’ve been working so hard, I can’t just stop.” She said, tears now staining her cheeks as she backed away from the bed a step. She put her hand over her mouth and her jaw worked hard.

“No...you can’t. I get it. So go do what you need to do and then come back. But promise me you’ll come back...for him?” Boone’s brow knit as his gaze settled on the barrel racer. She stepped back over to Tyler and placed a kiss on his lips. 

“I’ll come back. I just don’t know when.” She said, wiping her tears. She wanted to stay longer but the next rodeo was hours away and she had to get on the road. She walked around the bed and Boone pulled her into a tight hug. 

“As long as he knows you’re gonna come back.” Boone said into her shoulder and then Georgia pulled away. 

“Can you just let me know how he is?” She asked and Boone nodded.

“Course. Good luck.” Boone said his tone solemn. 

As Georgia walked down the hall, a sense of dread filled her and she glanced back toward Tyler’s room. In that moment, knowing how much she loved him and how much he loved her, she knew she wanted to return, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew she might not.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, with everything that had just happened before she met Tyler...she knew she couldn’t. What if she lost him too? She couldn't bear the thought of losing someone else so soon after her father. She had just gotten to a good place, where she felt like she should go on. How could she risk that and come back to Tyler being crippled? What if he couldn;t rodeo anymore after this? What if this was the one that did him in? What if he had so much brain damage that he didn’t remember her? 

As she continued down the hallway, all of her thoughts terrified her. She couldn’t think of any of it. She left the hospital composed, but as soon as she was safe in her truck, she broke down. Sobbing uncontrollably, she sat there for what felt like hours before she could finally gather herself enough to head back to the rodeo grounds. She’d need to gather up all of her gear and horses from the stalls by herself. She was going to miss having Tyler around. She was going to miss waking up to him every morning. She was going to miss his kisses and touches and his voice. The feeling of his skin against hers and the sounds he made when he fell apart while he was inside her. She was going to miss everything about him. She was alone again, and that felt awful to her. 

It was better to leave now, then get even more attached and get her heart broken all over again. If she did the heart breaking, it wouldn’t be as bad. It wouldn’t sting as much.

A week or so passed, and Georgia hadn’t heard anything from Boone so she went on about her day, getting her horses warmed up for the race that started in about an hour. And that was when she got a text.

Unknown: hey can I call you? Got news about Tyler

She typed back ‘yeah of course’ and waited. Her phone rang almost immediately. 

“Hey, it’s Boone.” 

“Hey. So you have news?”

“Uh, yeah...so, they did the surgeries. He’s got some screws in his pelvis and a plate in his knee. He had some memory loss...they said it’ll either get better or it won’t.” Boone went quiet on the other end of the line and Georgia hung her head.

“Did he...is he awake now?” She asked and Boone made a small noise.

“He was. He’s back asleep. He’s...he’s in a lot of pain, Georgia...like a lot.”

“Did he ask for me?” She asked, as tears stung her eyes. Boone was silent for a few moments and then he spoke softly.

“Georgia...I’m sorry. He didn’t. He doesn’t even know where he is right now. They had to shackle him to the bed because he was tryin’ to leave. He’s...I don’t know...I think it’s gonna be a long road...the doc said his rodeo career is over...”

Georgia took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

“I’m sorry, Boone. I love him. I do. But I can’t wait around and hope he remembers me. If he does, have him call me...but I won’t expect it. Just...tell him that I loved him so much and that I’m sorry. I can’t lose someone else. I’m sorry. I’ve lost too much already. It’s better if I walk away now.” Georgia’s voice crackled as she spoke and then she hung up. She stepped down out of the saddle and led Twist back to her trailer. She hugged the mare’s neck and sobbed softly into her mane. 

This was the hardest goodbye she’d ever have to say. This was a harder goodbye than her father because at least she knew he was gone forever. Tyler...Tyler would be out there somewhere, with other people at some point, and maybe thinking of her, but maybe not. He would either remember her or he wouldn’t, and she just wasn’t going to take the chance. There were too many parts of her life left up to chance. This was better as a sure thing. Better that she pushed him out of her mind and focused on her career. 

Take love out of the equation.

[gaylienn]

It's so difficult to stay positive about finding an internship when you send out so many applications and never get called for an interview for any of them...

[fxllfaiiry]

❥ It's so sweet, knowing that you love me

★ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader

★ summary: miguel knows you're pregnant, the only problem is he doesn't know how to to tell you. ─ or the time miguel found out before you.

★ warnings: fluff!! usage of many pet names, angst if you squint, miguel being a simp for his wife, pregnancy stuff, swearing, some shitty humor.

★ notes: there aren't enough dad and husband miguel fics out there so i had to write this!! icon credits: @/natashowlet

Miguel knew something was off, he’s known for days.

You’ve recently been throwing up, having odd cravings and random mood swings. At first, he thought you might be sick, you thought the same thing but now he knows it's not that. You were definitely pregnant. Everything adds up, and all of it made sense, then again he could be totally wrong. 

He made up his mind to try and talk to you once you returned home, he would surprise you with a romantic dinner and bring up the subject. He had about an hour to prepare everything. 

Well, that's what he thought, the second he got up to start preparing, you waltzed in through the door. 

“Mi Amor, I’m home.” Why are you home this early? He wanted to surprise you. 

“Mami, why are you home so early?” He says pulling you into a bear hug, usually, he would squish you completely but right now he wasn't sure that’d be the best idea. 

“What, aren't you happy to see me?” You chuckle. 

“No, no I'm really happy, I was just gonna cook you a surprise dinner that's all,”  he replies bashfully

“Aw, that's so sweet.” You threw your arms around him, placing kisses wherever you could reach. “I have the best husband ever.” 

“And I have the most amazing wife, now come on let’s go make something to eat.” He scoops you up in his arms and carries you bridal style towards the kitchen. He desperately wants to bring up the topic of you possibly being pregnant but now was not the best time, he didn't want to ruin the moment. 

This conversation could wait till tomorrow, right now he just wanted to enjoy some time with his wife.  

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Good night, Miggy.” His head was buried into your neck, his arms were secured somewhat tightly around your belly, and your smaller hands were coving his bigger ones. 

He thought about bringing up the topic right now but quickly scratched off that idea.

He was so tired from the day's activities, he could fall asleep instantly.

He could hear you slowly drifting off, your breathing calming him down and lulling him into slumber... well almost. 

Just as he was on the verge of falling asleep he heard something ─ or rather someone. 

He could hear another heartbeat. Coming right from you. He thought he was going crazy at first, but the closer he listened, the clearer it got. He was right, you were pregnant.

Holy shit. You were pregnant. He was going to be a dad. 

In all this, it occurs to him that you didn't even know yet, he would have to tell you tomorrow no matter what.

He’s so happy. He finally has another chance, he won't mess up this time. He would do anything to protect you both.

But what if you didn't want kids just yet? The topic of kids has come up before and you both want them, but what if you changed your mind? There were so many things that could go wrong but Miguel tried to push all the negative thoughts away and focused on falling asleep. 

He slept like a baby that night. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── 

“So, honey, I was hoping to talk to you about something.” He avoided having the conversation all morning, now he needed to tell you. 

“What is it, Miggy?” You sit down looking at him expectantly. You could see that he was nervous, it was obvious by the way he was acting. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes, everything is fine, mi corazón, don't worry.” How should he start? Should he just jump straight into it or start off slow? He should have thought about this before, well no time to do that now. 

He took a deep breath and it all came rushing out “I think, actually no, I know that you’re pregnant.”  

Silence. You were too stunned to speak. 

“Excuse me?” There was pure shock written all over your face, he would’ve laughed if the situation was different. 

“I heard 2 heartbeats last night, one was yours and the other one was -”

“Are you sure? I mean are you 100% sure? Maybe you heard something else?” You didn't want to get your hopes up just yet, you always wanted a baby with Miguel but if this turned out to be a false alarm you would be a little crushed. 

“I’m 9.99% sure. Bebé, if you want we can get a pregnancy test done?”

“Yeah okay, let’s do it.” 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

An hour later both of you stood in the bathroom. Three minutes felt like hours right now. 

You might be pregnant. This isn't some crazy dream.

“Bebé, if you don’t want to keep the baby I absolutely respect tha-” He’s still not sure if you’re happy with this or not. He was worried he messed up in some way. 

“No, I want to keep the baby but I just don't want to get my hopes up just yet. I definitely want to have a baby with you.” You wrap your arms around him, his scent calmed you down. You were going to be okay. 

“I want to have a baby with you too,” he whispers. 

You lean up to give him a kiss, your hands gently coming up to stoke his cheeks. Miguel pulled back and mutters, “I love you.”  

“Love you too.” A moment later you both heard the timer going off. This was it. 

You slowly step forward picking up the stick and turning it around. 

Positive. You were pregnant. 

“Well, what does it say?” This whole thing is making him feel so anxious. 

“We’re having a baby.” His wife is carrying his baby, this is real, he isn't dreaming. 

“I knew it! I was right.” He pulls you off the ground and into a hug, placing kisses all over your face while muttering small “thank you’s” and “I love you’s” 

“I can't believe we’re gonna have a mini O’Hara running around soon,” you giggle kissing his jawline. 

“She’s going to be just like her mother. ” Knowing a mix of you and him was going to be here soon made him feel content. 

“How do you know they're gonna be a girl, hm?” 

“Just… a small feeling.” His small feeling would be proven right 9 months later.

[kimmryokoo]

Late Night - logan howlet

author: kim ryoko

masterlist

summary: logan was supposed to go to a mission that would only last 3 days. unfortunately, it took longer then expected. your birthday went by quicly and you were already sleeping when logan returned. you both really missed each other and you let a kiss turn into something bigger...

word count: 3k

warnings: figeting, smut, filthy, reader has no appetite, slight possibility of death (doesn't happend), teasing, sub reader, little fluff at the end

author's note: english isn't my first language so I'm sorry for ay grammar mistakes, feel free to correct me. I'm so sorry it took me this long to publish something. I've been really busy lately. my birthday was on december 13th (the same as taylor swift🤭), so I wrote this as a sort of birthday present.

It's been days since you last saw Logan. He was out on a mission with Scott and Jean, and they left exactly 7.5 days ago when it was supposed to only last 3 days. You missed Logan very much, and tomorrow was your birthday so you were rooting for Logan and the rest of the team to arrive the night before or in the morning of the day.

It was already 11pm the day before your birthday and you were still waiting for your friends and lover to arrive while sitting in a bench on the jet garage and you then heard the big and thick metal doors sliding to open and the sound of wheels caught your attention.

“You're still here? It's getting late. You should head to bed and get a good night's sleep. Big day tomorrow.” Charles said.

“I'm just waiting for them to arrive.” you spoke with a tone filled with exhaustion, worry, hope and love, all at the same time.

“Unfortunately, I don't think they'll come back today.”

“What makes you say that, professor?”

“If they were to return, Jean would've reached to me and reported everything that happened while they were out on the mission, but she hasn't yet.” Charles argued and got a bit closer to you, now sitting next to you and putting an understanding hand on your back.

“I really wanted to spend tomorrow with them.” you said in a sad voice.

“I know. But the only thing you can do right now is go to sleep and get energized for when they do come back.” he stated in his always calm tone.

“You're right. Thank you, professor.” and before you got up to leave the room, you gave a loose hug to the older man that has supported you through so many things.

It was now the next day, 6:30 a.m. and your alarm went on with his job of waking you up. His loud rings easily made their way to your ears and woke you up with a symphony that reminded you a lot of screaming babies. To end your suffering, you quickly moved your hand to turn off the alarm.

You sat up and stared at the place where your feet were hidden under the blanket. You then looked to your side and saw the cold, empty bed you wished was filled by Logan.

You sighed and got up to prepare yourself a bath to give you enough fuel to go through the day.

After you got out of the shower and put on some clothes, you packed everything you needed for the day and when you were packing the notebook where you plan your classes, you saw something written on the page the notebook was opened, and it looked like Logan’s lettering.

‘ Hey. So, I'm pretty sure this mission ain't gonna take 3 days like those dip heads are saying, so I'm writing a note for your birthday, so you can at least hear from me that day.I know that the day you're reading this is your birthday day, because I can see the date of the classes you planned in here. First of all, happy birthday, and I want you to know that I love you. A lot. And you're honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I also want you to know that if I'm not there for your birthday, I'm dying of how much I miss you. I really hope you have a great day and that I get to see you or at least talk to you today. Love ya.

-Lo ’

Wow. Even when he's away, he somehow manages to make your day better.

You read the note and felt your heart swell with love for that man.

You finished packing everything and stepped outside the room and only a few steps later you were attacked by someone who came running towards you from your back and back-hugged you.

“Happy Birthday!” you heard the person whom you then knew was Ororo from her voice.

You turned to your friend and she immediately hugged you properly. Your smile grew wider from all the care your friend was giving you.

“Thank you, Ororo.”

“I got you a present! But I’m only going to give it to you at the end of the day.” the white haired woman said while breaking the hug and holding both your hands to continue touching you somehow.

“Then why would you tell me now?! You’re going to make me anxious all day!” you said in a pout tone but with a smile on your lips as you squeezed your friend’s hands harder.

“I know you have classes to teach, and so have I so I’m not going to take your precious time.” she grinned and kissed my cheek “Have a great day and happy birthday again!” She continued and started walking towards the direction she came from whilst waving a small ‘good-bye’ to which you responded with the same gesture and a kind and grateful smile.

You quickly arrived at your class and from that moment forward, that day was filled with people saying ‘Happy Birthday’ to you and many ‘Happy birthday’ songs.

At the end of all your classes, you decided to head back to the jet garage to wait for the team, since they haven’t arrived yet. While you were sitting on the same bench as the day before, you heard the same sound as you’ve heard the day before - heavy metal doors sliding open and metal wheels going your direction.

“What a Déjà vu, huh?” you said playfully to Charles, who chuckled softly at your statement.

“I would also say so myself. I presume you're here doing the same thing as you were yesterday?”

“Yeah.” you said looking down. The truth was that your day had been amazing, but it still felt a bit empty without Logan.

“Have you had dinner yet? It’s almost 8 p.m. .”

“No, I came here right after my classes finished. I’m just so worried. They should’ve been back by now. What if something bad happened? What if they…?”

“I’m sure it hasn’t. Have a little more faith in them. Go eat something and then I’ll let you come back here, but you have to promise me you’ll go to sleep at least by 11 p.m.”

“Fine.” you responded with a tone of defeat and got up to walk to the kitchen.

You tried your best to eat a normal sized meal, but you were too worried to eat anything. You stared at your plate with a small amount of mach-and-cheese and stirred it for about 30 minutes. It took you a long time to eat all of your food, but eventually you finished and cleaned the mess you made.

You left the kitchen and saw the rest of the mansion in complete darkness. You know your way around, and your heart was telling you to go back downstairs and wait for Logan a little longer but you also knew that whether you wanted to or not, you'd make noise that would probably wake someone up and that would make you feel bad. You glance back at the clock on the kitchen wall and see it’s almost 10 p.m. and consider going straight to bed and not risking waking up any student that might make your day 10 times worse tomorrow. You end up going to your room, since you’re also pretty tired from your day.

Once you closed your bedroom door, you started doing your night routine and only a few moments after you lay on your bed, you fell asleep.

You later woke up to what sounded like a door opening and closing. And then another door opened and closed.

You looked around the room and found nothing wrong. It must've been in your dream, so you went back to sleep.

You woke up again, but this time with an arm wrapping around your waist and you supported your weight on your elbow and turned slightly just to see Logan’s exhausted face looking at you with apologizing eyes from his pillow.

“Logan!” you said happily and hugged the man tightly while burying your face in his neck.

“Hey, sweetheart. Happy birthday.”

“Thank you!” you said and pulled a bit back to look at Logan’s face.

You leaned forward to lightly press your lips against his. That soft kiss was deepened when his hand grabbed the the back of your neck and pulled you to him. He was quick to change you positions so that he was on top. One of Logan’s hands supported his weight on the mattress near your face while the other one roamed free through your body squeezing your skin. You felt Logan’s tongue against your lips and didn't hesitate to let it in.

“You have no idea how much I missed ya.” Logan said in between kisses with a rough and starved tone that made you moan against his mouth.

In response to your sound, you felt his hips pressuring against yours while his free hand wrapped your legs around his waist. You could feel how hard he was beneath his pants and you never wanted something so bad like you did in that moment.

Logan’s mouth didn't restrain only your mouth. It also traveled to your neck and collarbones and you then smelled the scent of his shampoo. That's why you heard 2 doors opening and closing. One of them was your bedroom door and the other one was the bathroom's. It made sense now.

All that sense was rapidly taken away from you when you felt his bulge starting to move against your clothed pussy.

“Ahh… Logan…” you moaned “Please…” you finished.

“What, darlin’? Tell me. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you, birthday girl.”

“I… I want you…”

“Where?” he asked “Here?” he said, faking innocence while rubbing stripes on top of your shorts.

“Y-yes…” you said with flushed cheeks.

“Well then. Imma have to take this off.” He said and sat up on his knees to smoothly rip your shorts out of you to find out you weren't wearing any underwear.

“Oh fuck, princess. You'll be the death of me. I've been gone for over a week and come back to you all wet like this? Do you know how hard it is to control myself when all I could smell was this neddy pussy since you saw me?” he asked. His face gets closer with each word. Almost close enough to kiss you.

“Then don't.” you said breathless and softly. You then leaned a bit forward to lick his lips and made them open just a small bit.

You saw the way his eyes darkened in pure lust and you felt it in the way he kissed you - with so much passion and need.

Logan only broke the kiss to sit back up on his knees to rip your shirt off, letting your chest free.

“Why’d you rip all my clothes off?” you asked with your breath taken from the way he took your nipples in his mouth which made you back ark for more.

“My present.” he stated in a low tone.

“But it’s my birthday…” you answered with your eyes closed and a moan escaping your lips when you were done talking.

“Your birthday, my present.”

Logan continued to play with you for a few minutes when you felt a knot on your stomach.

“Lo, I’m close…”

With that, Logan stopped paying attention to your breasts and took his hand to your core, rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb and slowly inserting his index and middle finger on your clenching hole.

You almost screamed out of pleasure when you felt Logan’s fingers moving inside you and scissoring you open to prepare you. You soon came undone under the felling of the friction of his long, thick and calloused hands inside your pussy.

Logan pulled back his body, taking his fingers out of your hole and putting them in his mouth for a brief second, sucking them.

“The sweetest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever tasted.” he uttered.

He then proceeded to put those same fingers inside your mouth, this time.

“Suck.” he demanded, and when you did as he ordered, he continued “Atta girl.”

With his free hand, he pulled down his pants and his cock immediately sprung free, slapping against his abs, with veins popping out and precum leaking from the tip. Logan then slowly stroked his length to lubricate it while you watched with saliva dripping from the corners of your mouth and your core getting wetter with every passing second, even though you just cummed.

Logan grabbed his cock by the base and aligned it with your hole, pushing bit by bit, inch by inch, until you were a moan and whimper mess. Once he bottomed you out, you moaned into his digits.

“Such a pretty little fuckin’ slut” he said as his gaze stared intensely to where your bodies met, watching you clench around him in an oh so delicious way.

Logan pulled back his hips to immediately rock them back into yours, making the thrilling sound of his skin slapping against yours fill your ears and your brain. Logan’s pace started slow - always careful not to hurt you - but you could tell it was different then usual. He was rougher than normal, eating you out with more urgency.

“You have no idea how good it feels to be inside this pussy again.” he groaned at the end of the sentence.

Logan’s pace sped up as he started to seek for the pleasure of his high that he had felt coming since he began fucking you. Logan knew that after so many days of only cumming with his hand while thinking of in his tend don't even compare to the feel of being inside you and that once he felt it again, he wouldn’t be able to hold on for long.

Logan took a moment to stop thinking about anything and look at you. Really look at you. The way your hair was messy because of the pillow, the way your forehead was sweating more than usual from thee over-stimulation, the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head every time he pounded inside you, the way your cheeks where flustered and got more red every time he praised you, the way your beautiful lips where glossy and red from all the sucking and that pretty string of saliva dripping in your cheek, the way your neck was marked from his hard work, the way your tits bounced up and down rhythmically with the times he fucked himself into you and the hickeys and red spots here and there, the way your clit was swollen and over-sensitive, the way your pussy wrapped around his cock so perfectly and clenched around him making him feel like he was in heaven, the way your sweet noises filled the room and you the way you called his name like it was a prayer. Fuck… Logan couldn’t take it anymore.

He grabbed your legs and put them on his shoulders, giving him better access to your g-spot and bending even further to kiss you. The kiss was rugged but held all the feelings he felt when he was alone in his cold sleeping bag in the inside of his tent while listening to Scott and Jean doing what he would kill to be doing with you.

“Lo… I-I’m coming again…”

“That’s it. Come for me princess.”

And, you did as you were told.

As soon as he felt you coming apart on his cock, he couldn’t resist it anymore and filled you up.

“Good girl. Always doing as you’re told.” he said in a teasing and low voice in which you only responded with another moan.

Logan helped you ride both your highs and you both soon came completely. He then let himself fall to your side, burying his head into the crook of your neck.

“Thank you for the present.” you said with a smile on your face as you lifted up your hand to play with his hair.

Logan chuckled and asked “You think this is your present? I told you it was mine. My fucking present for putting up with Scott and Jean for so long without leaving them there and coming back here to your arms.”

You laughed.

“I wouldn’t have minded that.”

“Noted. I’ll be sure to do it next time.” he joked and you felt his smile against your neck and you laughed again.

“Where’s my present, then?”

“Such an impatient girl.” he said as he pushed himself up, kissed you and grabbed a small box from his nightstand, all without coming out of you.

“Here you go, birthday girl.” He said and kissed your forehead.

You looked at the box and kissed Logan as a thank you. You opened the box and saw dog tags with your info on it and a picture of you and Logan.

“Well this, this is actually for me.” he said as he took your dog tags and with his other hand, he took his own off his neck and gave it to you.

“This is the one that’s actually for you. You know, I really missed you when I was out on the mission, and I know you miss me too when I’m gone so I thought this was a good way for me to always have a piece of you and you always have a piece of me. I also know how much you like that picture, so-” You interrupted him by kissing him.

“Thank you. I love it!” you said and he looked at you like you were an angel. His angel. “I love you, Logan.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

You cupped Logan’s cheeks and kissed him.

Both of you cuddled for the rest of the night and were finally able to fall asleep next to each other after so many nights apart. You were able to be next to each other, to feel the other's warmth.

That was the best night’s sleep both of you have had last week.

Hope you liked it!

xoxo, kim ryoko

[sant-riley]

Yeah but like what if one day Gaz walked into a room and saw Y/N FNAF lore dumping to Ghost

[Infodumping the boys]

(Mostly Platonic tf141 x gen neutral! reader, hints at Ghost bc it’s me and I’m biased.)

Summary: Teddy aka You, decide to gather the gang and tell them about five nights at Freddy’s before the movie comes out.

Word count: 800 ish

Warnings: Possibly of for the boys (idrc tho lmao), Teddy is this readers callsign, reader is implied to be at least early 20’s, I can’t think of anything else tbh but lmk if this does need something tagged!

It wasn't uncommon for you to infodump your teammates, they're all older than you and have significantly less screen time than you (it ties into being older). Most of the information you give them is something they take as fact, this is no different.

Gaz of all people knows your interests best, you two being the closest in age means you both realistically grew up with the internet and its most popular series.

The last thing he expected walking into one of the many meeting rooms on base, was you at the front of the room, your laptop hooked up to the projector and Price and Soap sitting down, dutifully listening with varying degrees of attention.

Price is to your left, staring down at mission documents that no doubt need to be turned in by tomorrow. A glass of some liquor next to his stack, a cigar box that's propped open right by it as well.

To anyone else, it would seem like Price isn't listening and he's just here to keep you from bothering him to come but Gaz can see the Captain's eye flick up every so often, his eyes softening when his gaze falls on yours, listening for a few beats, a miniscule upturn of his lips until he's looking back down again, grabbing a pen to make a correction.

Soap on the other hand is sitting next to Cap, a hand resting under his chin, the other flipping around a pen in his hands. He's nodding and asking questions as you flick through. Below him is a notebook that seems to have scribbled in it, if Gaz walked in further he could see little drawings of Monty Gator and Soap himself, a Venn diagram with a large red writing saying "Mohawk!!"

Ghost being there probably should be a shock but it isn't. The man is known to follow you around like a shadow, he humors you arguably the most out of the four men, letting you drag him to and from places with minimal complaint. He bets Ghost is gonna be the one to take you to the five nights at Freddys movie premiere.

Simon's dressed down to just his hoodie and his balaclava mask, attentively watching you as you speak passionately about each character and their role in the series. his dark eyes flicking around to stare at the drawings you inserted so everyone could see what the animatronics and others looked like.

You would've thought this was a mission debrief with how focused he was on your words.

Gaz lets out a fake cough, announcing himself to the room and he watches as your eyes immediately latch onto him, he ignores how his heart skips a beat when he sees the crinkles of your eyes, seeing you shoot a glowing smile his way.

You always look at him like that but he never tires of it.

"Gaz! Finally, you're here!"

Rushing over to him, you grab at his hand, quickly intertwining fingers, and start dragging him to the seat next to Ghost. He sits down with a huff, amusement swimming around his eyes. You move to go back to the front of the room, gleefully rocking on the balls of your feet as you look at them.

"What's all this about?" He questions, after getting nods in acknowledgment from the other 3 men in the room.

"Teddy here is tellin' us about five nights at…Frankies?"

"It's Freddy's, Johnny." You roll your eyes playfully.

"No shot you're making Ghost and Cap listen to this."

"I'm not making them do anything, they're here of their own free will, thank you very much." Sticking out your tongue, moving to click to the next slide.

"Is that true Cap?"

"It's background noise," John murmurs with a shrug, taking a swig out of his glass. He leans back in his seat, seemingly taking a momentary break as he looks around at the table.

"Got nothin' better else to do," Simon answers easily, looking at Gaz from the corner of his eye.

"You ain't gonna ask me, Garrick?"

"Nah, you of all people would enjoy it."

"What's tha-"

"Boys! Shut it! We're getting to the good part!" You clap your hands together and Soap immediately cuts himself off, looking back at you.

With all the boys' eyes on you, you clear your throat and push a button, there, from when Gaz remembers, is Michael Afton in all his purple nasty body glory.

"Fucks wrong with him? Why does he look like that?" Simon remarks, an eyebrow shooting up.

"I'm so glad you asked, you know actually the more I think about it, You and Michael actually have a lot in common.”

"How so?"

"Asshole dad, the oldest brother, daddy issues, I can keep going if you want."

Ghost just grunts in acknowledgment, raising a hand to his head and rubbing at his temples.

Price chokes on his liquor, coughing as it goes down the wrong pipe.

Soap audibly drops an "oh."

And Gaz just stares, truth be told, yeah. Yeah, he can see the resemblance.

[pablitogavii]

Could you write one Gavi fic where he's talking to her through social media, just as friends, but he starts to develop feelings for her, his agent finds out and gets really worried about his career if he gets in a relationship, so he "makes" Gavi's mind to get away from the reader (she has abandonment and rejection issues) without a proper explanation, he excuses saying that the reader wants his money and whatever. But some months after the reader moves to Seville and gets really close to Aurora (she knows Aurora is Gavi's sister but Aurora doesn't know her), and one day Aurora takes her to a barca match, and Gavi tries to make up to her?

I guess I'm back y'all lol! I like this idea very much!

y.n.bebe

New York, USA

I think I like this little life...happy birthday to me hehe

liked by pablogavi and others

coments:

brimccormix: happy birthday bebsss

y.n.bebe: thank you gorgeous girl💗

stacymiggs: princesaaa

y.n.bebe: nooo youuu!🥺

brianfereda: happy birthday!

y.n.bebe: thank youu!

pablogavi: pretty girl

y.n.bebe: 😳

When you saw that THE Pablo Gavi called you "pretty girl" for the whole world to see, you couldn't stop staring at that comment for the next two weeks.

Your friends went crazy calling you lucky, and pushing you to send him a message but you were obviously too shy to do that. Besides, who knows how many "pretty girls" he's talking to on the internet.

Meanwhile, Gavi spent all of his free time and training brakes going through your posts and smiling like an idiot at your cute face on his phone screen.

When you first popped up on his screen, he just had to reach out and pray you don't find it cocky on his part. You were just so pretty...

"Sempre con esa nena, cabrón! Dale! Enviale un mensaje!"Pedri hit Gavi's head making him groan and finally get the balls to slide into your DMs. He said a simple "hey pretty girl" before leaving his phone in the locker room to join his teammates.

pablogavi: hey, pretty girl

y.n.bebe: hey😊

And ever since that night, you've started texting, face timing and chatting non stop. You haven't told anyone about it, not wanting to make a drama over something so new and also not wanting him to think fame is what you're after because it's not.

"I'm so tired, nena" Pablo groaned while laying in bed and face timing you as you did your math homework diligently.

"Then go to bed, tonto!" you giggle and he just stayed quiet staring at your face until you looked back at the phone screen and blushed at how intense his gaze was.

"Me gusta cuando hablas Español conmigo, bebé" he smirked making you blush bright red and roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed.

"When do you have training in the morning?" you ask while he yawns.

"Five am" he answers and you open your eyes wide really looking up to him being so diligent about his career.

"Then you really should get some sleep, and we can talk tomorrow again hm?" you ask not really wanting to end the call but also wanting him to get his rest. He always loved how selfless you are and how much you took care of him. It really warmed his hearts.

"I hate it that you're so far! I swear I'm gonna travel to New York and kidnap you and bring you back to Barcelona with me ... and never let you go ..." he said sleepily and you felt your heart jumping thinking about the possibility.

"Hm and if you get bored of me?" you smile and he shakes his head still staring intently at you in the eyes.

"Impossible, my pretty girl..." he said and you smile remembering the very first time you read those words on the screen.

Pablo Gavi was a man of his words, and since that conversation he promised himself that he will surprise you with a travel to Barcelona really soon. He planed everything and mailed you a ticket during his two week vacation.

He still remembers the nerves while standing at the airport waiting at your gate to see your pretty face finally in person. The moment you walked out he recognized you...he couldn't forget the pretty face he stared at through the screen for past four months just now it was real.

"Hi, pretty girl..." he said again and you jumped into his eyes smiling wide and holding onto him tightly. You couldn't believe this was real yet. It just felt like a dream.

"Ready to explore Barcelona conmigo huh?" he said and you smiled and taking his hand nodding and walking to him car with your baggage.

Days passed so quickly and everything was PERFECT. Ice cream dates, walks on the beach, coffee shops and all the infamous tourist attractions...you were falling in love with this city...and you were also falling in love with this boy.

Day before your flight home, Pablo took you to a football game for the Juvenil and you were excited to watch it with him knowing it was his passion.

"So what do you think?" you show him your Barça jersey and he so badly wanted to ask you to wear one with his name on the back but how could he? He still didn't have the balls to ask you to be his official girlfriend!

y.n.bebe

Barcelona, Spain

it's so pretty here 🥺😊

liked by pablogavi, pedri, joaofelix and others

comments:

pablogavi: pretty girl in barcelona 😍

y.n.bebe: hehe😊

brimccormix: girl!!?? spill the TEA!

y.n.bebe: what tea???

lucasmith: looks like someone stole my crush!

y.n.bebe: 😂

"Next time I come, I want to watch you play..." you said while the two of you sat sadly on the airport waiting for your boarding.

"Y/n..." he said looking down as you looked up

"Hm?" you say feeling your heart beating fast from how close your lips were to each other.

"Don't go..."he said and you swore your heart broke when you saw his pleading eyes. Neither of you wanted this distance...it was so unfair but there was nothing you could do about it now.

"Pablo we're friends now and you can visit me in New York..." you said but before you could finish his lips were smashed onto yours to shut you up and you closed your eyes enjoying the sweet sensation of his cold minty lips on your.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend, pretty girl?" he said and in that moment all your past insecurities and abandonment issues returned yelling inside your head. What if you get attached and he disappears like other did? You were so scared but looking at him it was impossible not to agree!

"Yes! I do Pablo..." you say and he kissed you again until they called for your flight to start boarding in five minutes.

[moonpascal]

Not Again

summary: spiderman ends up on your fire escape…again

warnings: mentions of blood, 18+ reader and peter parker, language, possibly ooc, lots of dialogue, idk what else

any peter parker x f!reader l wc: 780 (thought it was longer)

a/n: rewrote this at least 20 times and this version i’m at least ok with more than the others. considering it’s been in my drafts forever. still new at writing and suck ass at being descriptive as i want to be. hopefully it’s enjoyable, if so leave a like, comment or reblog <3

“I really am sorry for showing up two nights in a row” Spiderman sighed.  

“Ya sure I bet you are, especially after I told you I don’t have a first aid kit or know jack shit about what I'm doing,” you grumbled. It was too late or too early—who the hell knows. All you knew was that you had work in the morning, and poorly assessing the Spiderman was not on your to-do list. 

Lightly dabbing the washcloth against the exposed areas of the suit, careful not to apply too much pressure, but no matter how delicate you were it didn't take the pain away. 

How he managed to land on your fire escape yesterday and to purposely come again tonight was beyond you. Why couldn’t he land somewhere who was a nurse or owned a damn first aid kit! Even though tonight’s assets are not as roughed up as yesterdays. From what you could see, it seems like he healed a bit.

“Just a tip, but you should learn to dodge when someone is coming at you,” you smirked trying to lighten the mood. Being up this early made you delirious when it’s this late at night; anything and everything is funny when it’s two in the morning. He must think you’re pretty funny when he huffs and his shoulders shake a bit before groaning at the movement.

“I got a tip for you and it’s pink.” Heat instantly rushes to your face, the shock evident when you pause. You quirk an eyebrow at him, “That mask confidence really gettin to you, or did you get hit in the head too many times today?”

“Bit of both, I watched this streamer guy and he said it. I’ve been itching to say it.” If he had the mask off you might think he’s smirking at you. But all you get to see is the white lens’s from the suit adjusting looking at you. 

“I’m not surprised, you seem like someone who watches streamers.” He scoffs as you start wringing out the last of the blood from what was a white cloth. There's no point in keeping it now. Sliding out of the dining chair, grabbing the bowl and littered trash accumulated around you guys.

“I do appreciate your help and that I landed on your fire escape.” 

“My sleep says otherwise. How did you end up on mine of all places in the first place?” It’s been running marathons in your head since yesterday's incident. The apartment balcony looked like everyone else’s -plain- and in between levels, not even the top floor. 

“Web snapped, ran out of web fluid last minute,” he shrugged, as if that’s the most normal thing in the world. Web fluid? Like it comes out of him- eww gross—not even gonna think about it. 

Glancing at the stove, the green glow of the clock saying it was indeed time to go back to bed. Having to be up in a few hours for a stupid meeting, that you didn’t have to be there for only to be the office bitch- which isn’t even your job- but it paid wellish. At least enough to afford this place.  

“I’m glad I could be of assistance spidey, you're welcome to my couch, but I’m going to head to bed. I have a long day tomorrow.”

He shifts in the chair before slowly standing up gripping his side. He starts limping towards the window, and groans as he opens the stubborn thing. “See you tomorrow night, my guardian angel.”

“No sir, I won’t be here tomorrow night,”you laughed. Turning all the lights off till you got close to him. You could feel his shock just staring at you even if the mask hid his expression. It’s almost too easy to read him like this. 

“And why not?” He questioned with a hint of too much sass. Popping his hip out and placing his hand there. 

“I’m started to suspect you’re getting hurt on purpose to see me,” you copy his pose with just enough dramatics. “Anyways I have a date,” you shrugged. First one in a while at that and a girl has needs that’ll hopefully be fulfilled, but it’s best not to get your hopes up too high. 

“A date? At 2 in the morning?” 

“Yeah if it ends well,” you smirk. He drops his pose before not so gracefully trying to get out the window. 

“Oh yeah makes sense, right well enjoy your date,” he stutters before slamming the window shut, enough to shake the pictures you have hanging on the wall. 

You sigh, latching the lock and trudging back to the comfort of your bed. 

[nolita-fairytale]

still into you | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter one: thursday

summary: you, syd, marcus, and carmy return to where it all began: new york city, prompting you and carmy to think a lot about your past... and your future together. (four part series | follow-up to 'make my heart surrender)

warnings: lots of swearing, tooth-rotting fluff, use of she/her pronouns, the lightest of smut, no use of y/n, second person pov

word count: 5k

listen to: 91 - bleachers | now i'm in it - haim | bewitched, bothered, and bewildered - ella fitzgerald (playlist here)

a/n: re: the poll -- yall really said 'let this man be happy please!' and i love that for us. if you voted for the other fic, i want to reassure you that i will be writing that one right after this! please enjoy all of the fluff and joy of this four chapter fic. i also feel like i potentially robbed us of a smut scene so... anyone interested in a bonus smut scene as a companion to this chapter?

Thursday 

“Alright, guys. We only have a few hours to get our day one prep done. I’ve outlined a schedule for today so that we’re as efficient as possible. Tomorrow’s gotta go smooth, alright?” Carmy instructs, laying out the day. 

You listen intently, marveling at your boyfriend in-action. He’s so fearless when he’s in his element, and being back in New York just seems to bring back all the memories of how you met. It’s like you’re twenty seven again, huddling up for a pre-shift meeting, led by recently-promoted wunderkind CDC, Carmen Berzatto. 

Only, you’re not twenty seven anymore and Carmy is the love of your life. 

“I’m gonna start with the mise for our beef dish, so Syd, can you get working on our signature veal stock? I think we should work with one in the pressure cooker just in case we get short on time and have a back up,” Carmy directs, an intense determination filling his eyes. 

He looks from Sydney to Marcus, before continuing his orders. 

“Marcus, I need you to start on the ice cream today, chef. I ordered us some liquid nitrogen if we need to make more on the fly, but I’d really prefer not to.”

And then it’s your turn, and boy, do you love to watch him work. You have to fight the corners of your lips from curling into a broad grin because you know now is not the time. 

“And lastly, I’m gonna have you work on the pasta. My goal is for us to get all of the agnolotti assembled today, so I’ll jump in when I wrap up with my mise to help you with that, yeah?”

“Heard,” the three of you answer in unison. 

Everyone’s got their game faces on because this is a big deal. 

The biggest, actually. 

Representing The Bear at the James Beard House is more than a big deal – it’s an honor. Only a handful of chefs get invited to cook here per year, and after a little fancy footwork in terms of scheduling, the four of you were finally able to agree on a date with the famous organization. You’re more than elated to be a part of the team, even if you aren’t working at The Bear anymore. 

The four of you quickly busy yourselves with setting up your stations. You only have a few hours to accomplish a whole lot of prep, and the pressure sits heavily on each of your shoulders. Tickets to the dinner had sold out within the first hour, which, after all the press, accolades, and media attention the restaurant had earned over the last few years, hadn’t been a huge surprise.

“Think you can keep up, chef? Don’t tell me you’re gettin’ rusty on me,” Marcus quips, already starting the playful trash talking early.

You let out a laugh, before challenging him in jest.

“Damn, Marcus. Hasn’t been that long. Bet I can still kick your ass on a ‘beat the clock’ mise, chef.”

“Oooooh. Shots fired,” Sydney calls out, joining in on your friendly banter.

“Challenge accepted,” Marcus shoots back, almost instantly. 

And then you’re scrambling to get as many prep containers and a kitchen scale, as you race your friend and mentee, all in good fun. 

You’ve missed this. 

It’s only been a few months since you started your new job – a culinary education director at a startup intent on building more sustainable food systems. While your heart would always be at the restaurant, you’d been ready to take on new challenges. The salary pay and benefits didn’t hurt either. You were happy taking a grown-up job, craving a little more stability and normalcy – and so that you and Carmy could stop paying out the ass for health insurance. Besides, you were still working with food. It just looked… well, a lotta different these days. 

You’ve missed the fast pace of the kitchen, your people, and Carmy’s desire for excellence, but it’s not like those things have left your life either. You still have them. 

After you’d left the restaurant, Marcus had taken over as the head pastry chef. In the last few months, you’ve watched him mentor and inspire a new group of wide-eyed, green, chefs-in-the-making, which had made you prouder than you’d ever have the words for. 

You can smell the sharp-allium scent of onions, as Syd quarters them for her stock, and while you have several cartons of eggs and 00 flour, Marcus has gathered all the milk that you’d just purchased for today’s prep.

“Behind,” Carmy says. He passes you by with a few 5 qt storage containers stacked, as he hugs them to his body with one arm. 

You feel his other hand place the gentlest touch on the small of your back as he leans in and whispers in your ear, “It’s good to have you back, chef.” 

You smile, turning your head just enough to lean back to look at him. 

“It’s good to be back, chef.” 

He presses the gentlest, slow kiss to your lips, and it feels like time stops for a moment. As he pulls away from you, there’s a small smirk on his face as Sydney shouts, “Oh get a room, you two!” 

“If we had the time…” he murmurs quietly, planting one more soft peck onto your lips. His face is still only inches away from yours. You giggle in response, the tender moment filling your heart with warmth. 

“Speaking of time… I just bought Marcus a head start,” Carmy teases, your jaw dropping as soon as you realize what he’s doing. 

You pull away from him, your head snapping towards Marcus’ direction to see that he’s already filled a 5 qt container to its capacity with one portion of the milk. 

“Seriously? Damn it, Carmy!” you cry out, shaking your head. “This is sabotage!”

You hear Marcus laugh in the background and as Carmy walks away with a cheeky feeling of accomplishment. You shake your head in disbelief. 

“Sorry, babe. You can deal with a little hazing, yeah? Since you’ve been gone for so long. Gotta give my guy a head start. ‘S only fair.” 

“You’re such a dick,” you scowl, scrambling to catch up. 

Oh it is so on. 

*

By the time you’re done with your day one prep, the four of you head to the hotel. Luckily, it’s only a five minute walk away, and you’re grateful that the James Beard Foundation chose to partner with one so close. The four of you pull your suitcases down the streets of Greenwich Village, before arriving at the luxurious, vintage-inspired hotel. 

You’re eager to get up to your room, as you haven’t had a shower, nor a time to take a break since you all arrived. 

“Woah…” Carmy says, his brilliant blue eyes scanning the high end hotel room. “You sure we can afford this?” 

You chuckle, “I think uh… they have a partnership with the James Beard Foundation, which is the only way I can answer your question with a ‘yes’ without having to tell you that we have to sell an arm, a leg, and our first born.” 

He shoots a half smile in your direction before letting out a whistle as he looks around. The floor to ceiling windows feel way outside of anything you could afford, as Carmy spots the French doors that lead right out onto a terrace. As you continue to explore the rest of the room, you spot a huge tub in the bathroom – something you’re very eager to take advantage of. 

“Power nap?” you ask Carmy, setting down your suitcase in the middle of the room. 

You’ll put your things away later.

“Fuck yeah,” he agrees eagerly.

You’ve barely put your book bag down before you’re both stripping off your jeans and climbing into the perfectly made hotel bed. After spending the morning traveling, you, Sydney, Marcus, and Carmy had gotten off the plane at JFK and gone straight to the James Beard House in Greenwich. Not only had Carmy been antsy to see the kitchen and get a head start on prep, you hadn’t been able to check into your hotel till this afternoon. You’re both spent, and you know that Carmy’s been running himself ragged preparing for this once in a lifetime opportunity. He hasn’t been sleeping all that well either– his thoughts consumed with nailing down the perfect menu, while paralyzed with indecision.

His quest for perfection had made him irritable over the last few days. You could see that the pressure was getting to him. His appetite was down, he was picking fights with you about small, unnecessary things at home, and pushing Sydney (sometimes a little too hard) at the restaurant. 

But today, he seems a little more in control of his feelings, and it puts him a little more at ease now that you’re finally in New York. He knows he’s been driving you crazy all week, and now that you’re all here, he’s hoping he can relax a little. 

Now that you’re here, in the city. 

Now that the dinner is only a day and a half away. 

You’re hoping he’ll slow down at some point too – give himself a little time to enjoy how big of an accomplishment this is. At least by the end of the weekend. Frankly, you’re glad you’ll have Saturday to enjoy the city without any pressure. 

For all of your sakes. 

You’re surprised that Carmy falls asleep with you during your late afternoon nap. He’s been so wired, so high strung lately, but you’ve just been waiting for him to come back down. Now that it seems like he is, there’s no way in hell you’re going to wake him up. You’re curled up together when you wake, your back pressed against his chest, his arms enveloping you. It feels almost impossible to pry yourself out of his arms without waking him up, but his deep slumber confirms your suspicions and you’re more than willing to let him continue sleeping. It takes a few tries to slip out of his embrace, but you do, and it’s off to the bathroom to get ready for dinner.

You try to make as little noise as possible, but by the time you're out of the shower, and your hair has been blown dry, Carmy’s up. You can hear the hotel TV on as you exit the bathroom and see he’s put his jeans back on. He’s perched on the edge of the bed, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You notice that the dark circles under his eyes that have accumulated over the years seem to sit heavier this week, as his eyes flicker over towards you.

“Damn, my girl’s got style,” he compliments, checking out your all black-ensemble. “We really are back in New York, huh?”

You nod, grinning at his sweet compliment, as you sit down to slip your white sneakers on. 

“You meetin’ up with Liz and Maya tonight?” he asks you. 

“Yeah. Syd’s gonna join for a bit before her thing. She should uh… be here any minute, actually.” You begin tying up the shoelaces of one of your shoes, before slipping the other one on. 

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Nah I-, I'll see ‘em tomorrow right? But tell ‘em I say ‘hello’.”

“Of course. I think they’re both really looking forward to seeing you.”

You check the time on your phone making sure you have enough time, before you make your way to where Carmy sits on the edge of the bed. 

“What’re you going to do tonight?” you ask, curiously, stopping so that your body is right in front of his. 

“Well Marcus is staging at per se so… I’ll probably just hang out. Order room service or pick up a sandwich across the street. I wanna run through all this shit so tomorrow goes as well as it can,” Carmy answers, waving his notebook at you. 

He’s like a man possessed, but it’s one of the many reasons you love him. You pull the notebook out of his hands tossing it somewhere on the bed behind you. You place your knees on each side of his hips, before settling down on top of him. 

“Think you can relax a little tonight?”

He pulls you in, his arms moving over your hips. Carmy leans in, placing a small kiss against your glossy lips. 

“Think you can help me with that?”

You giggle in response, twisting your fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck.

“I think… that could be arranged.”

Before anything too spicy can happen, there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s Syd. Carmy groans as you pull away, falling back onto the bed with a sigh of defeat. You climb off of him, heading to answer the door. 

“Hey, you ready?” Sydney asks, as you greet her. 

“Yeah, let me just grab my phone,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. 

As she enters the hotel room, Carmy’s sitting up. With his feet planted firmly on the ground, he leans over, resting his forearms on his legs as he runs a hand through his messy curls. 

Sydney looks from you to a somewhat pouty Carmy, as if she knows she interrupted something. 

“Staying in tonight, Carm?” she asks him, as you gather your things. 

“Yeah,” he grumbles, and you can’t help but notice how tired he looks. 

Sydney rolls her eyes in response, “Don’t worry. I’ll have her back by nine.”

“Alright, I’m ready,” you say with a smile as you address Sydney. 

“You guys have fun,” Carmy nods, with a half assed wave.

“Don’t work too hard, boss,” Sydney adds, as the two of you turn to leave. “Oh and Carmy. You’ve got a little…” She gestures towards the lipstick you’ve left on his face. 

You laugh in response, and as you close the door, Carmy can hear Sydney’s ‘oh my god, you two are like rabbits’ comment in the distance. 

Carmy allows himself to fall back on the bed, reaching above his head to grab his notebook again. He’s honestly grateful to have a night to himself. He’s never been much for going out, or big social events, so having a night in feels like a good kind of calm before the storm – especially because the next few days will be full of social interactions. He’d always found New York City a little overstimulating. 

Between the dinner and the reception on Saturday, Carmy felt like he was collapsing under the enormous pressure – his only out being excellence. It’s not just the fact that being invited to cook at the James Beard house was a once in a lifetime opportunity, but there’s important business to announce here too. And then there’s the social aspect of it all, and he can’t help but feel like there are high expectations: from the food world, his reputation, your old friends from New York. And he wants to make everyone happy – he wants to impress them all. 

Something about being back here, and being back here with you, has him caught up in his head about it all. This is where you’d met. It’s also where he’d been at his lowest – right before Mikey died. So much has changed, and Carmy feels too large for his old battlefield.

Because that’s what it had been for him: a battlefield. 

A battle for his mental health, to rise to the top of the New York City fine dining scene, fighting with his feelings for you. 

Over the last two years, he had learned that he didn’t have to fight every single damn day. Some days he could just… be – be himself, whatever the fuck that meant, be a friend, and be with you. It felt strange – familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. Being back here makes him somehow feel like the total loser he was six years ago when he first arrived in NYC… and a completely different person at the same time. 

While he was over the moon when he got the call from the James Beard Foundation, he also couldn’t fight this uncomfortable feeling that’s been sitting in his stomach all week long. Carmy had never quite been able to come to terms with the whole ‘celebrity’ aspect of the food world. He knew what he could do in the kitchen. That was unquestionable. But the rest of it – the networking, the celebrity chef circles – was the part he felt most unsure about.

Ever since Sydney’s Rising Star win, he’d let her take center stage with her rising visibility in the culinary world. Actually, he’d been grateful that she was so good at it – that it seemed like she enjoyed the part of the job he hated. There was someone to take the pressure off of him – someone who thrived in front of the camera so that he didn’t have to. But he knows at some point this weekend, he’ll have to face the music. 

There were big changes coming to The Bear. 

*

It didn’t take long after the initial introductions for your friends to fawn over Sydney. They were more than happy to meet your friend they’d heard all about, and the incredible chef who was shaking up the Chicago food scene. 

“Well I’m glad to hear that some things have changed and that working with Carmy’s not a total nightmare any longer-?” Liz concludes your conversation about the restaurant, earning an eye roll from Maya and a laugh from both you and Sydney.

“Oh no it’s still tough sometimes,” Sydney says back. “He has his days. We all do.”

“Liz!” you protest, in regards to the Carmy-bashing.

“What?! You didn’t have to work directly under him back then!” she defends herself, before clarifying with Sydney. “And in his defense, Sydney, it was really our exec chef who was the real nightmare.”

“Oh she works directly under him, alright,” Maya jokes, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And sometimes on top of him, and also-,” you quip back, ready to play along.

“Oh my god, you’re out of control and I am sick of you!” Sydney exclaims with a laugh in reference to your crass comment.

“So tell us more about the new restaurant,” Maya prompts, refocusing the conversation back to Sydney’s previous reveal.

Sydney tells your friends about The Bear’s plans to expand, and shares ideas she has that even you haven’t heard from Carmy yet. As she wraps up her story, she realizes what time it is, meaning that she’s gotta head uptown soon. She really only was supposed to stay for a glass of wine, but meeting your friends has been so fun that she’s lost track of time. 

“Shit. I have to head out,” she says. “But I’ve really loved meeting you guys. You’re coming to the dinner tomorrow night, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Absolutely.”

“And the reception!” you add gleefully, so glad you get to see your best friends three days in a row. 

“It’s been really great meeting you, Sydney,” Liz says, shooting you a look of approval. She squeezes your hand under the table momentarily, before saying, “Thanks for taking care of our girl. She speaks so highly of you.”

“Where are you off to next?” Maya asks, excitedly. 

“Syd’s got dinner plans,” you answer, waiting for Sydney to provide more detail.

“Yeah, I uh-, I got invited to one of the To Be Hosted events and it just worked out that we’d be in town for this the same weekend,” Sydney replies, a glimmer of excitement flashing through her eyes as she shares.

“Damn, you got invited to a supper club?” Liz marvels. “Okay!”

“Yeah because she’s a rockstar,” you cheer your friend on, saying it so matter of factly that even a stranger would believe you. 

You all say your goodbyes to Sydney before ordering food. It feels so good to be back in the city, back here with some of your best friends. Maya and Liz had been the friends that held you up, and you them, when you lived here. While you had met Liz at your last job, a sous chef under Carmy’s leadership, Maya worked in fashion and the two of you had become fast friends after meeting through an ex-boyfriend. Once you introduced the two of them to each other, the three of you had been inseparable ever since. 

They had always been your biggest cheerleaders – especially when it came to you and Carmy.

“She’s great,” Maya says, in reference to Sydney. 

“Right? I’m so excited for her. This is a huge deal: create her own menu, a chance to run kitchen without Carmy…” you agree, feeling deep satisfaction over the amazing people you have in your life. “We’re announcing the big news at the dinner tomorrow.”

“Speaking of, how is our favorite guy? What’s he up to tonight?” Maya asks, guiding the conversation back to Carmy. 

“I told him he could come but I think he wanted to stay in tonight. I think he needs some time to decompress. He’s been pretty high strung all week,” you answer. 

“Carmy? High strung?” Liz asks back sarcastically, earning a laugh from you.  “I’m kidding! I really am looking forward to seeing him tomorrow. 

Maya shakes her head, before taking a sip of her glass of wine. She’s always adored Carmy, but knows that Liz has a different relationship with him, having worked as a line cook. 

“You guys are… getting serious, huh?” Liz asks, glancing over at you. 

“Um.. I think those two were married after their first coffee date,” Maya adds. 

“It was not a date!” you insist, shooting her a look. 

Liz lets out an unconvinced laugh, and you accept defeat because you know they’ve always been right about you and Carmy. 

“Maya, don’t forget. Our girl is and has always been the Queen of Denial,” Liz adds, winking in your direction. 

“Oh ha-ha. You guys are so funny,” you reply dryly. You nod, thinking about you and Carmy’s relationship over the last few years. “Yeah uh… it’ll be three years in the Fall so… you could say it’s getting pretty serious.”

Your friends are beaming back at you in response to your admission, and while you’d love to spend all night talking about how head over heels you are for Carmy, you’re also kind of ready to shift the attention off of you and your relationship. 

“Enough about me. What’s going on with you guys?” you change the subject. 

It feels so good to catch up with your girl friends. You all agree to make it an early night. While Maya’s husband had agreed to put their kid to bed, she wants to make it home in time anyways. Liz has a date later, and before you know it, you’ve wrapped up dinner and are walking back to your hotel. You send Carmy a quick text, because you’re only a few blocks away. 

You: On the way back. 

New York City has always been so inspiring to you. The city itself feels alive – like there’s an electric undercurrent that always makes you feel so full. There’s never a dull moment, and it feels as if the potential for a wild adventure is always around the corner. It’s also the place that you and Carmy met, all those years ago. It’s funny. The version of you that met him six years ago never could’ve predicted this: that you’d actually get to be here together, after almost three years of loving each other fiercely. 

Your friends were and always have been right about you. 

Back then, you were Queen of Denial and even then, Carmy had been your king. 

But you’re here now: in the city you met in, stupidly in love with the man you’d met six years ago who had seemed terrified to merely have a conversation with you. 

Your phone buzzes in your hand, interrupting your trip down memory lane, as you peek at the text you just received. 

Carmy: Went out for a walk and a smoke. 

You type back a quick, yet short reply. 

You: Love you. 

When you return to the hotel room, you enjoy the quiet of the evening. It still feels like spring in NYC, so you open a window because it just feels too damn good outside. No wonder he’d gone for a walk. You kick your shoes off, placing them gently by the door, before stripping off your jacket and heading into the bathroom. 

As you pull your hair up and out of your face, piling it into one conglomerate on top of your head, you eye the large bathtub you’d admired earlier.  Not only are you in need of a relaxing soak, but you’re hoping you can persuade Carmy to join you – maybe even help him destress a little. You don’t think twice about it, as you strip off all of your clothes, sliding on one of the fluffy robes that the hotel has provided. You flip on the hot water, the sound of rumbling water against tile hitting your ears.

There’s a bath soak in a glass jar that you find on the bathroom counter, before adding it to the increasingly hot water. While it looks like a mixture of some kind of soak and epsom salt, large bubbles begin to form underneath the rapid stream of the faucet, and you inhale deeply. 

Lavender. Vanilla. Chamomile, maybe?

The smell puts you at ease and you can feel your shoulders melting away from your ears. 

It’s not long before Carmy returns, the bathtub is almost at its capacity and the bath soak that you put in the hot water has bubbled up and blossomed into large, sudsy configurations. You’ve put on a jazz playlist, the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filling the small space as you hum along. 

“Babe?” Carmy calls out to you, as you hear the front door close behind him. 

“I’m in here,” you call to him, turning the volume of your phone down a few levels. . 

You hear a shuffle of shoes, before he’s peeking around the door frame, his eyes lighting up as soon as he sees you. He knows it’s silly. It’s not like he’s been able to be very present over the last week, and it begins to dawn on him that he’s missed you.

“How was your walk?” you ask softly. 

“Good.”

He looks around the bathroom, the air thick with humidity from the hot water. You turn the faucet off, as you’ve now filled the tub to its capacity.

“You look comfy.”

“I am. It’s a very comfy robe.”

You wait a beat before preparing your ask.

“Big tub,” you entice him, gesturing towards the bubble bath that awaits you. 

“Yeah?” he asks, a half smile on the edges of his lips as he takes a step towards you. 

“Big enough for two,” you nod, making your case. 

It’s all the convincing he needs. You’re removing your robe, leaving your bare body on display for him to see, and soon enough, he’s stripping down and climbing into the bathtub with you. You share an awkward laugh as the two of you clumsily figure out how to position yourselves for optimal comfort. Your back is pressed against his chest, and you’re truly in awe of the large bathtub that somehow holds the both of you.

It becomes progressively easier for Carmy to relax. Between the hot water, and your naked body pressed against his, thoughts and worries about tomorrow begin to slip away. The two of you enjoy the quiet intimacy between you, the soft sounds of your favorite jazz standards, and Carmy’s lazily dragging his fingertips across any bit of exposed skin that he can.

You lean your head back against his shoulder, and Carmy buries his face in the crevice where your neck and shoulders meet. 

“Why don’t we do this more often?” he asks, in between leaving a few slow-paced, soft kisses across your shoulders. 

“Hm?” you hum in response. From the way his mouth and hands move across your body, and the silky feeling of the hot water, you barely have a thought left in your head.

“This whole… bath thing,” he clarifies, exhaling a deep sigh. 

This may be the most relaxed he’s felt all week and he likes that you seem to be enjoying this too.  

“Probably because we have a tub that I can only assume was built for a small show dog,” you joke. 

He laughs dryly. 

“Fair enough.”

Carmy waits a beat before speaking again, enjoying how his mind has quieted for the first time in days.

“Let’s put it on the list… for when we’re ready to move to a new place,” he suggests, quietly. 

“Somewhere with a big tub?” you ask, only sort of surprised by his request. 

“Yeah.”

You turn your head to look at him, as Carmy presses a searing kiss to your lips. You feel his hand snake between your legs and you begin to understand exactly why he’s enjoying this whole bath thing. 

“As much as I’m enjoying this…” he whispers against your lips. “Think you maybe want to get out of this tub…”

Another kiss.

“… dry off…”

You slide your tongue against his as his fingertips move higher up your inner thigh, earning a hiss of pleasure from you. 

“…not put our clothes back on?”

And then he’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues his exploration. Your head is spinning, and it’s not just the hot water that makes you feel as if your soul was set aflame.

“Yes.”

*

The next morning, you wake up alone. On the bedside table there’s a note in Carmy’s scratchy handwriting that reads:

Couldn’t sleep. Went to Chelsea Market. Love you.

You let out a frustrated sigh. Last night had been incredible but you also knew it’d be back to the grind today. While you’re excited for him – and for tonight – you’re also kind of ready for this to be over. You’re ready to have your boyfriend back.

read: bonus smut scene | chapter two

taglist: @allthefandomstogether @gaysludge @sobshoney @harrysmatcha @starbritestarlite @tpwkkmila

[milkyboiiiii]

Hi! if this isn't much of a hassle could you do S,T,U & W for Kanto Mikey?

TYSM ♡

NSFW Alphabet : Kanto! Mikey!

S, T, U, W

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for hours!!! Especially when he's irritated that day, he'll go round after round! Only ever feeling satisfied when he sees tears running down your cheeks from overstimulation.

He doesn't get as tired as he used to so he lasts a lot longer than one round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Doesn't own any for you or for himself.

He never really felt the need for toys for himself because he only really jerked of once a week or to relieve stress.

He wouldn't mind getting you some if you asked, he'll hand you some cash and have you go pick some out yourself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn't tease you that much surprisingly, well at least initiate it that much. If you start teasing him then expect to be teased back twice as hard.

He'll put you on his lap and tell you the dirtiest things while he rubs your thigh, his hand dangerously close to your clothed cunt. He did all of this because you left him a little kiss on his neck

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He really wants to suck on your tits. Even though he looks and is scarier and meaner, he's still Mikey and he just wants your praise as he sucks on your titty sub at heart

Probably secretly has a lactation kink

Writing is so hard tonight 🫠

The brain doesn't want to focus and write. I'll try and get as many NSFW Alphabets done as possible tonight (hopefully the brain will start braining) because I'm gonna be super busy tomorrow and might not have time to write.

[o2studies]

23:39 || ༻`` 19 Oct 24 — Saturday

Aimed to get a lot of work done for my personal statement today and I did focus on it, so much so that I didn't do much else. But also I just stared at the document and couldn't think of anything so many times, so I took a break and went back to it soon after, and then I decided to start writing anyway and after 1½ hrs I've got my first 5 lines... ;-;

I've out some things in bulletpoints or as a small list that I want to mention, and I'm using a guide from UCAS but I found that a few of questions I can just write pretty much the same thing and I'm not sure how to not just repeat myself 3 or 4 times.... I'll do more work for it tm. A Lot more.

Aside from that (although actually, linked to UCAS) I've kind of a tough decision to make about university choices. I might write about it more tomorrow but choice one is all good, choice two would involve convincing my parents a lot and leaving behind (at least for a few years) the life me and K planned with each other during uni..

Actually — a summary:

University A is nearby, I've visited it a lot and it looks amazing, has a ton of great student experiences, I'll get to go to uni with K and rent a flat or smt with her in our second year, don't know how many times afterward I'll see A (if at all), possibly joining uotc during one of the years (can't really imagine that in Uni B but it probably could still be possible), and it is an amazing university for which I've got 2 grade reductions (within applicable maths, physics and chemsitry courses), I've got the conditional offer already

University B is the next country over, I'd be leaving behind K and my family (others too but they'll probably be a lot further anyway), I will have A with me so I won't be alone and we'd help each other with the costs of things, in the second year R would be coming over and we'd all rent a place somewhere (but have to be in student halls for a year first..... I didn’t like the experience of it that I got in Uni A), the country is really beautiful, I've been in the area before and there's no langauge changes, I know very little about the uni, it's better than Uni A (plus it combines year in industry through placements and year abroad)

And I don't know....... I do know that friendships is not what you should follow in choices like this but it breakdms my heart thinking of abandoning K and our plan, even for just a few years..

And my wrist hurt like hell today and still does.

^ I've got this written on my wrist. Had it today and will again tomorrow. I love writing quotes and sayings on my arm ^^

Day 31 clean (a whole month yesterday, woo!)

Day 0 (I was really gonna try to hit Day 1 today but forgot about that for a moment and well.... yeah....)

Floor time ✅️

Current song obsession: Army Dreamers by Celina Fang // 🍊

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

And just because I love Laufey so much

Description: JJ and Cowboy hit a rough patch, the song is promise by Laufey (just in case you can't see it, Tumblr's being annoying for me)

Warnings: sadness :'), smoking

A/N: I'm just gonna leave this here... also thank for this, I've never heard this song before and am now obsessed! characters are a bit different to how I usually right them idk why it's just what happened lmao (also I'm hoping this tags everyone)

Taglist: @xweirdo101x@xdark-acadamiax@ara-a-bird@heidss@chubbyboyinflannel@pendragon-writes@migwayne@bigolgay@technikerin23@supercriminalbean@honestlycasualarcade@caffeine-mess@1s3v3n1@oddmiles@kevyeen@stealing-kneecaps@criminalskies@woodandwaxwings@wizardmon3@aphroditeslovr@ducks118@azeal-peal@13thdoctor-run@introvertpan84

JJ had been acting... Off all day. That was the only way you could think to word it. She just wasn't acting like herself and you had no clue. So, when Hotch sent you all back to the hotel for the rest of the night, once everyone had settled in their rooms, you left yours, gently knocking on her door.

When she opened it, she said nothing, simply moving to the side to let you in and close the door gently behind you. You looked at her, clearly concerned.

"JJ, what's goin' on?"

"I can't do this anymore." She admitted softly, frowning at you. "I'm so sorry."

"Do what?"

"This," She said, motioning between you. "Us."

"As in, our relationship?"

"I'm sorry,"

You looked at her, giving her a small nod. "It's okay, I understand." You answered. She was going through a lot right now. You weren't going to argue it. If this is what she wanted, then it didn't matter what you wanted. It didn't matter that the idea of her not in your life made it hard to breathe. It didn't matter that she was the reason you woke up in the mornings. It didn't matter. Because this wasn't about you. It was about her.

"See you tomorrow," You gave her a somber smile and gently closed her hotel room door on your way out. Leaving you out in the hallway, on your own. You gave a small sigh as you walked back to your own room.

You kept to yourself the next day, not offering up as many suggestions - only when necessary. There was no spitballing with Morgan and Prentiss, no actively asking Reid statistics.

This hurt more than anything. It felt like there was a hole in your chest and nothing would make it go away.

Eventually, Hotch pulled you to one side, you were clearly struggling with something and if the way JJ was acting was any sort of indicator, something had happened between the two of you.

"What's going on?" He asked, you looked at him, giving him your most convincing smile.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"No. You're not." He folded his arms as he spoke.

"It's nothing. I'll stop letting it affect my work sir," You muttered before walking back to the group, opening a file as you did so. No one really said anything after that.

Sixteen days. Sixteen long days. You hadn't spoken to her outside of work for sixteen days and it honestly felt like it was killing you slowly. In fact, you barely talked to her at work. You barely spoke to the team at all.

You found yourself stopping your usual weekend bake, when you felt anxious you couldn't find the motivation to bake - decided to just let it fester in the pit of your stomach. If it gave you an ulcer, it gave you an ulcer.

When JJ met and started dating Will, you started to hurt in a way you didn't even think was possible. Each breath felt like it was tearing your lungs apart. It was the last straw, in a way. You had held out for over two weeks, you had ignored how much you wanted a cigarette, you had made your way through five bags easy of sunflower seeds. But nothing was hitting those cravings.

It wasn't JJ's fault by any means. It was just how things were. You had slipped off the mentally well bandwagon and that had led to smoking again. It wasn't like this was the first time it had happened to you - and as much as you hated it admit it, it probably wasn't the last, either.

But this time was... different, in a way. You no longer cared that it wasn't good for you. You didn't want to stop. And that meant not letting your team find out. So you'd smoke at night, during breaks, when you went alone on coffee runs, whenever you could without the team realising. It did mean, however, that you always carried gum and mints to make sure they didn't find out. You knew they would eventually, you just really, really didn't want it to be any time soon. If the team had noticed a change in your behaviour, they hadn't said anything. At least to your face anyway.

You met Will a month after JJ told the team about him, when he joined JJ to one of Rossi's family dinner. You were on edge as soon as you got there, wanting nothing more than a cigarette. JJ had given the team a small 'heads up' (not looking at you at all as she did).

"I'm thinking of bringing Will to Rossi's tonight," She said, giving the rest of the team a shy smile. They all smile back, stating how excited they were to meet him. You said nothing, she didn't look at you anyway, so it didn't really seem like she was looking for a response from you.

What did feel like a kick in the gut was actually seeing the two of them together a week later. You had told yourself repeatedly that you weren't going to get involved, but when you saw him on his own, you were approaching.

"Hey, er, (Y/N), right?" You nodded.

"I'll keep this short and sweet," You said and you're speaking before you could process you were speaking.

"Listen, you hurt her, disrespect her, do anything that may even hurt her in the slightest - feelin's or otherwise - I will kill you." You said, stepping closer, "I get it, I ain't her man no more, that's fine. But she's deserves better than you, better than both of us. So you need to treat her like it, you hear me?"

Will stares at you for a moment before he gives a small nod. "Good. Now prove to her that you're worth her time. 'Cause as far as I'm concerned, you ain't."

And with that, you left, fishing in your coat pocket for the cigarettes and lighter. You moved through the garden until you made it to his front yard, you were quick and efficient. When you were finished, you let yourself back in, running it under the cold tap before stuffing it into your back pocket. Only to then realise you had forgotten gum.

Holding back a sigh, you poured yourself a drink, which you shot back and placed the empty glass in the sink. You made sure to walk with confidence back to the rest of the group, ignoring how they all glanced at you in concern.

You knew you smelt of smoke but couldn't find it in yourself to care. A small part of your brain found itself asking if they really cared or if their concern was performative. Sure, Hotch had asked you what was wrong, Morgan had joked about missing your cookies, Spencer had sat next to you on the jet - quietly telling you random facts, and Prentiss would give you small smiles. Garcia would hand you one of her small figurines at the start of each case - that you would return at the end of the case and switch out for a new one when the next one began.

But you knew if it came to it, if it was you or JJ that you didn't stand a chance. And you weren't mad about it, you understood. They had known her longer. It just stung.

At some point during the night, Rossi sighed and sat next to you. "You wanna talk about it?"

"'M fine," You muttered, taking a swig of the beer you don't even remember picking up.

"It doesn't look it." He replied, "And you smell of smoke. Cigarette smoke."

You take another sip of your drink before you turn to Rossi, "Listen, I don't care if you tell Hotch or whatever, fine. But don't tell JJ, okay? She doesn't need to feel like shit 'cause I can't get a hold of myself, a'right?"

Rossi nods, "Okay, kiddo," He said, "I'm here if you need to talk though,"

You give him a small nod. You'd rather just fester with your feelings but you didn't want Rossi to feel bad. He sighed once more, patting your leg gently as he stood.

"And you're staying here tonight. You don't normally drink and you look like you're a lightweight."

[gentlegiantberry]

Stalkers

Stalker! Idia x stalker!gn! reader

Prompt: Idia and reader stalking eachother, eventually finding out.

Warnings: stalking, light cursing, obsession

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

Idia Shroud. Your one and only true love. How did you meet him? Doesn't matter. Are you friends? Well... you could say that. He knows you, you think. Maybe not. Who cares? You love him, that's all that matters.

It's another regular day. Wake up, go to class and then do whatever until tomorrow. Well, that was the original plan until you saw him. Your one and only.

What was he doing there, out in the open? Meeting up with someone? No, he couldn't have. He doesn't like being outside, why is he here? Doesn't matter. You need photos.

Click.

Click.

Click.

It's a good thing you brought spare film. Taking secret photos for your shrine is a tough job. Idia is just so perfect, how can you not take as many photos as possible? Just look at him. That dark blue hair which reminds you of the starry nights when you stare at his photos, those bright yellow eyes you could get lost in, those blue lips that just look so kissable...

He's perfect in every way, really.

And then he leaves your sight. He's in the Sam's Mystery Shop. That's okay, you can wait. You can wait as long as needed. For him.

Two minutes, three minutes, four, five... what's he doing in there? Avoiding you? No, he couldn't be. He would never.

Ah, there he is. He's carrying a bag in his arms. What's in it, you wonder...

Click.

Click.

Click.

More. You need more. From every angle possible. He's so perfect. You really do adore him. But why is he in such a hurry? Did he see you? Possibly. You hope not.

You keep taking photos, not even realizing you're following him. Many photos later, you're already in the Ignihyde dorm, watching him enter his room. How sad... But that's fine. You have photos. You can cherish him in the comfort of your own room, where no one will disturb you.

You start to walk back to your dorm, not even knowing your beloved is watching you. Sure, it's just through the security cameras but it's the best he can do. Watching and admiring from the comfort of his room. He's been watching for awhile. Following, not leaving you out of sight. How could he? You're so perfect... I mean, the camera footage shows it right there. All the clips he has saved, all the angles, everything. It's just adorable. Of course he knows you love him, he's seen you taking photos. He knows how much you adore him and yet he can't bring himself to tell you. Why? Not even he knows.

Well, that was until one day, while you were going about your normal routine. You've been taking photos for hours now. This is the longest Idia's ever spent outside, I mean, it's a miracle! Sure, it's out of character for him but whatever helps you get more photos.

He's on a bench, scrolling through his phone. He stood up. Take more photos, he's leaving. Should you follow him? Yes.

Where is he going? Oh, the Mirror Chamber. He's going back to his room, you guess. Or not..? That's the mirror to your dorm! Why is he going there? Does he want to pay you a visit? Shit, what are you supposed to do now?! You can't just run past him!

Idia walks through the hallways of the dorm. God, he's cute even with his hood up... He knocks on the door to your room. No answer. He knocks again. Nothing. He looks around and grabs the door handle. He opens the door and...

Wait, he opens the door?! Did you not lock your room?! Shit, shit, shit! He's in your room, he's gonna know! You have to run after him, you have to explain! He's gonna understand.

"Idia, I can explain!"

You stand at the door way to your room, Idia is right in front of you, staring at all the photos of him that are plastered all over the walls. You just hope he doesn't hate you now.

He turns to you, , giving a slight smile.

"You... like me?"

"I'm obsessed."

"...me too."

It was the happiest day of your life.

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

I tried my best. I can't really write stuff like this but it's been on my mind for some time, yk yk.

Rules and preferences of my writing! Please read before requesting!

[a-mel0n]

This stupid "Your Name" Bucktommy AU won't leave my brain, and while I don't have enough faith in my writing skills to actually write the damn thing (and it would be my first fanfic... ever?? and that's a project that seems a bit too big for me lmao), I DID write down what I'm picturing some of the "rules" Buck and Tommy have for each other while in the other's body. Mostly just for fun. (Because Tommy would be switching in 2006, the iPhone does not exist yet, so all of his notes are written in an actual physical journal. All of Buck's notes would be on the Notes app of his phone)

TOMMY: 1) Evan, stop running into burning buildings when you don’t have to while in my body. If I wake up in a hospital bed for the fifth time this month, I might actually lose it.

its part of the job to save as many ppl as possible. also u don’t even feel the pain when i get injured in ur body.

You’re right, I don’t. Unfortunately, the pain from having a wooden beam fall on you doesn't just magically go away when we swap. Just... be more careful? Please?

fine. i’ll try and keep ur hospital visits to a minimum.

2) Can you stop flirting with people on calls? Or at the very least give them your number and not mine? In the last week alone my contact list has nearly doubled because you keep giving people my number. 

dude its not my fault you’re more popular while i’m you. just think of it as me being ur wingman! how u dont have a girlfriend is beyond me btw. hot chicks love firefighters and ur a good looking dude

Jesus Christ, Evan. For the last time, I’m single by choice.

3) Don’t shower while in my body

already dont

4) Don’t go to the bathroom while in my body 

done

5) In fact, unless you’re at work, don’t change any of my clothes while in my body. 

fair

6) Do you really need to spend so much of my paychecks on cooking supplies? I have enough pots and pans already. 

whats the point of a pantry if its half empty. be thankful ur getting actual food now via my leftovers instead of the utter tragedy that was the state of ur fridge when we first started swapping places.

7) Don’t make a scene while at work. 

your boss sucks ass and his stupid orders are going to get people killed. im not gonna listen to him if hes making bad calls while lives are on the line

Evan.

8) Don’t pick up the phone when my dad calls.

got it

BUCK: 1) quit going to eddie’s basketball pickup games. he keeps inviting me while i’m in my own body and its getting harder and harder to come up with excuses as to why i can’t go. it's kinda awkward.

I thought you’d be more grateful, Evan. You’re the coolest guy on the court when I’m you. 

2) are you making movie references when ur me? bc chim keeps asking when i got so “cultured” and the other day maddie asked when i watched the princess bride. 

You haven’t seen the Princess Bride? I’m leaving you a surprise for tomorrow. Check your couch when you wake up. 

did you spend my OWN money on a dvd??? i don’t even own a dvd player. i own every streaming service imaginable.

3) keep the finger guns to a minimum?? idk why you do them so much but both hen and chim have said smth abt it

4) if u get a call from someone called connor or kameron on my phone just let it go to voicemail its personal stuff and i'll deal with it

Evan, you could have told me you agreed to be a sperm donor yourself. Finding out because Connor and Kameron showed up at the fire house was more of a shock than finding out over these memos would have been. 

they did what?????

5) don’t talk to my parents

Done.

6) No rule about undressing? 

dude idc. i’m not gonna stop you from taking a piss in my body if u need to. as long as you like. don’t have sex with someone while you’re me? oh wait hang on i DO have a rule about undressing

7) DON’T HAVE ANY RANDOM HOOK UPS IN MY BODY. 

Wasn’t planning on it, but good to know. 

[shiggysimp69]

Craving You

Omg I'm writing, again! And it's 3k words this time, which is crazy. Turns out writing without planning is a blessing and a curse because I forgot the plot I thought of at 5am and had to remake it up but it also saves me from over thinking so I write faster. Yay, yay, yay!

Tw: Dubcon, Smut (Tomura has tentacles), Sleep paralysis, Reader has mild body image issues, Mentions binge eating, Mentions reader's bad dad

Plus size/chubby reader is being harassed by monster Tomura.

——————————————————————

A long sigh escaped your lips as you clicked "submit" on your newest assignment. You had been up for hours trying to get it done; your eye bags becoming more and more noticeable everyday. It wasn't like you cared. Your body had always been labeled as undesirable. People would rather look at women with soft, glowing skin with absolutely no imperfections. It did hurt sometimes though, because even girls who had noticeable imperfections still ended up with great partners. You secretly wished that was you.

You looked over at the clock by your bed, 2:22am. It was way past your bedtime. You sighed again before getting up from your desk. Your body creaked reminding you that you could use some exercise. But of course that thought was quickly dismissed, maybe if you had more time. Or rather, more energy.

You sunk into your cheap mattress as your thoughts wandered. What were you gonna eat tomorrow? Would you be able to get enough sleep to work and go to school? You weren't so sure. Without noticing, you dozed off. Drifting into a long slumber.

Moonlight beamed in through your window, hitting your face. It was so bright you thought it was the sun. You opened your eyes and realized, you were no longer in your room. Everything was different, even the placement of your window. It was never by your bed for this very reason. You didn't want the sun in your face. Panic stirred deep inside of you. You tried to sit up but you couldn't move. You tried to speak but nothing came out. You were stuck. Sweat gathered on your face and your mouth ran dry. You were scared and in a panic yet, everything around you was calm. As if it was just a normal night, except for the fact that you were possibly kidnapped in your sleep. That was unsettling. It was like the universe deemed this as "okay," as "just another day" and yet here you were. Clearly not having "just another day."

The moonlight had lit up the room but then suddenly, it went dark. You looked over and there was something blocking the window. No, someone was blocking the window. Your heart started to beat out of your chest. Someone was there and you couldn't move. Your breath hitched in your throat as they leaned into your face. Pearly white hair glowed in the moonlight capturing your gaze. It was long and snaked over their shoulders and face. They just stood there, watching you. What did they want? Did they bring you here? Were they going to hurt you? You had so many questions swarming around in your head like a jar of bees, just waiting to be let out. To be set free. But they never were.

The stranger standing over you started heaving. Their voice sounded strained and raspy. You didn't know what they were getting so worked up about until you felt something slimy touch your foot. It slowly wiggled along the bottom before sliding up your leg. Your heart started pounding as it made its way into your shorts and then, your panties. You could feel it rub along your folds, grazing your clit each time. You squeezed your eyes shut, desperately trying to ignore the feeling between your legs.

"So pretty…"

You didn't wanna acknowledge them.

"I wonder how you'll react if I go in."

You wanted this to all go away.

"Hey, why won't you look at me?"

You wanted to die.

"Look at me."

You woke up in a cold sweat, chest heaving, eyes watering. You couldn't get yourself to calm down. You ripped the covers off and rushed out of bed. No slimy tentacles. You turned around. No window. You laughed, you couldn't help it. The relief was too strong for your body. It was a dream. A fucking dream. You put your head in your hands as your body slowly relaxed. You were so tired you felt like you would collapse. A sudden ringing in your ears brought you back to reality. It was your alarm. You sighed, then went to turn it off. You wondered if a nightmare would count as an excused absence as you headed to the bathroom. Probably not.

The vending machine clunked as your drink was pushed to the bottom. You pulled it out and opened it with a pop. You were taking a break between classes to clear your head. The only thing you could think about all day was the dream you had last night. At the time, you wanted to die. You were absolutely certain that death would be better than what you were experiencing. Had you ever felt like that before? Even in your darkest moment; did you feel as though death was the only way out? You couldn't tell. Soft buzzing interrupted your thoughts. You took a sip of your drink before pulling your phone out of your pocket.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon dear. How are you feeling?"

It was your grandma. You liked to hear from her every now and again. However, she wasn't content with that, opting to call you everyday. You didn't mind most of the time but she had a habit of calling when you were busy. Which was annoying.

"Hey ma. I'm okay, just getting something to drink."

"I hope it's not one of those sugary drinks. Your father has been complaining about your weight more and more recently."

You rolled your eyes.

"Personally, I think he's overreacting. He should know it's hard not to eat a lot when it tastes so good." She whispered with a chuckle. A smile crossed your face. Your father had always complained about your weight. It was like he cared about nothing else in life. You could be bleeding out and he'd say it's because you're overweight. That if you were healthier, this wouldn't be a problem. Your grandma was the exact opposite though. She cared but not nearly as much. And she was the one you confided in when you started to binge eat.

"I'm glad at least someone gets it."

"Oh, will you come and visit me during your spring break? I'll save a little extra money and bake your favorite cake. Don't worry, I won't tell your father."

You could imagine her placing a boney finger over her mouth. Your grandma was the definition of sweet. She was one of those grandparents that'd spoil their grandchildren. Feed them, bathe them, hell she'd give up her own home for you. She never argued or made a fuss. It worried you sometimes. You hoped that in her old age she wasn't secretly being mistreated and not saying anything. That's why you promised you'd never put her in a retirement home. The possibility of it weighing on your mind like a bus.

"Okay ma. I'll try."

"Thank goodness. I'm glad I have such a kind grandchild. My own son can barely take me to my appointments."

She clicked her teeth.

"Okay dear. I won't keep you. Study hard and don't come back until you graduate!"

"So, miss the cake?"

She laughed.

"Of course, stop by for the cake!"

You both started laughing then. You didn't know what you'd do without her. Her optimism was exactly what you needed on days like this.

"I'll talk to you later, ma."

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you."

The call ended with a click and you were alone again. You placed your phone back in your pocket then looked up at the sky, thinking.

"He's worried about my weight, huh… Well, maybe I wouldn't be so big if that wasn't the only thing he worried about."

You took a sip of your drink then turned on your heels. Maybe you'd get something to eat too. Soft ringing could be heard from your phone again. You sighed, your grandma did this sometimes. Call for one thing, then call back for another. You pulled your phone out and answered.

"Hello?"

There was nothing.

"Hellooo? Ma, I know it's you."

Still nothing. You pulled the phone away from your ear and checked the screen. "Ma." She was definitely the one who called.

"Ma, this isn't funny-"

"Beautiful…"

Your hand clenched around your phone. It was the same raspy voice from your dream.

"Can almost feel you from here."

They chuckled.

"Can you feel me?"

Something wet touched your ear and you threw your phone. You could hear them laughing on the other side. You felt sick to your stomach. The sound of static covered their laughter as you started to hear your grandma's voice.

"Dearie, are you there!?"

"M-Ma?"

The laughing stopped and so did the static. Your breath was caught in your throat as you reached down to pick up your now cracked phone.

"H… Hello?"

"Thank goodness! I thought something had happened to you."

Technically something did happen to you. But how could you tell her that the same person from your dream somehow contacted you using her phone number? You'd sound crazy.

"No. No, I'm fine. What's the matter?"

"Are you sure? You do know you can talk to me?"

You gulped.

"Yeah. I know." You replied, your voice shaking.

"I'm fine. Really."

Your grandma paused for a minute.

"Okay. Whenever you feel like talking about it, I'm here."

"Mhm."

A weak smile grazed your lips. You were acting as if she was there. Smiling so that she'd think everything was fine. Or was it so you'd think that?

Turns out, you were right. Your grandma needed help with something small and that was all she called for. When you hung up for the second time, you stared at your phone. You should've been thinking about all the new cracks on your screen. How you were gonna get them fixed. Or if you needed a new one entirely. But the only thing you could think about was, how did they touch you? How in the world did they reach through your phone and touch you? Is that even humanly possible? Or did you just imagine it all? No. You clearly felt it. You not only felt it but heard it. You had heard that same exact gravelly voice from before. You weren't crazy. But you sure as hell felt like it.

You emailed your professor explaining that you wouldn't be showing up today because of an illness. You told your boss the same thing. They both let it slide. "You were thankful" would've been an understatement. It's true that you weren't physically sick but you were definitely mentally sick. You just wanted to go home and forget all about today. But you knew it wouldn't be that easy.

As you made your way to your apartment, you spotted a familiar face. It was Ash. The last person you wanted to see right now. He was your coworker and you shamelessly and very obviously had a crush on him. But after that defiling dream you had, it was hard to look at him. Mainly because you wanted him to touch you like that, not some weird tentacle.

"A-Ash?"

He turned to face you then smiled. It made your heart flutter.

"For someone who's sick you seem to be gettin' around just fine."

Your breath hitched as you remembered the reason why you called off in the first place. He quickly noticed your discomfort.

"Hey, I was only joking. What happened? Lady cramps or somethin'?"

He walked up to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. He did that often. Ash was always so predictable; you loved that about him.

"I… I can't tell you." You replied, looking down at your feet. His face hardened.

"You can't tell me or you don't wanna tell me?"

"I can't."

Ash's grip tightened on your shoulder.

"It was your dad wasn't it? I'll kill him if he did anything-"

"No! It wasn't him."

You knew telling him might not have been the best idea. Ash had major anger issues. And he probably wouldn't take this lightly. You looked back up at him and forced a smile.

"Just forget I said anything. I don't want to bother you."

He didn't like that at all. His brows furrowing in frustration. You wanted to tell him but you were worried. If you told him, would he believe you? Would he think you're crazy? Would this ruin your chances of dating him? But maybe you could get some actual peace of mind from telling him. Maybe, he could even help. You didn't know what to choose.

"Let's go inside."

You looked at him, confused.

"Maybe if you're relaxed you'll tell me." Ash said, grabbing your hand and leading you to your door. You didn't protest, unlocking it and walking inside. It would be better to have this conversation indoors anyway. If you were even gonna have it, that is.

Ash took a seat on your couch and you went to change into something more comfortable. When you sat down next to him, things got awkward. You didn't wanna talk about what happened anymore and just wanted to relax but Ash clearly wasn't having it.

"So. Do you want something to drink?"

"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?"

You bit your lip.

"I want you to be there for me. I just had a rough day and I don't wanna talk about it. I just- I want you to be my friend right now. Not my bodyguard."

He was quiet for some time. You couldn't tell what he was thinking but after a while he seemed to calm down.

"Alight'."

"Thank you, Ash."

You two sat in silence for a minute before he spoke.

"You looked nice today."

Your face flushed. You forgot that Ash never really sees you outside of your work clothes.

"Th-Thank you."

The awkward tension returned immediately afterward. The only difference being the wetness forming between your legs.

"You look nice too…" You said, fumbling with the hem of your shirt.

"What's gotcha so nervous?"

The hair on your neck stood up at that question. How could you answer that?

"Nothing! It's just been a while since I've had friends over."

"Mhm."

He wasn't buying it. Suddenly, he leaned in closer to you.

"Or, is there something you're not tellin' me?"

You let out a shaky breath. You couldn't handle how close he was to you. The smell of cinders filled your senses. It was ironic that he smelled like ashes to match his name. You wondered if he did that on purpose. Ash looked down at your plush thighs. You were clearly rubbing your legs together. He chuckled. You didn't notice at first but it felt like you were being watched. Not by Ash but by something else. The feeling was so strong it stopped you in your tracks.

"What's wrong?"

"H-Huh? It's nothing."

Ash didn't question it, instead closing his eyes expectantly. You leaned in but the feeling didn't go away. It only got worse. It was like daggers were being pushed into your skin. You couldn't take it anymore and pulled away.

"I'm sorry."

Ash didn't seem disappointed, he didn't seem to react at all actually. You looked down and fumbled with your shirt again.

"It's alight'."

It was silent again. But this time it was like the tension had reached out and grabbed you by the throat.

"Umm. Maybe we could do something different?"

He didn't respond. You looked up and he was gone.

"A-Ash?"

You didn't hear him get up. Where did he go?

"Naughty girl…"

Your blood ran cold. It was them, that same voice. Something wet touched your toes and you yelped then pulled away. They didn't stop though, the tentacles wrapping around your ankles and snaking up your legs.

"What the hell!?"

You could hear them click their tongue in disapproval. Your back was pressed against the couch and they draped their arms over your shoulders. You tensed up under their touch.

"Don't worry. I won't hurt him." They whispered in your ear.

"Yet."

You felt tears form in the corners of your eyes. Two more tentacles wrapped around your wrists pinning them together. The ones around your legs did the same.

"I'm just curious as to what you think you're doing just giving your body to other people?"

Another tentacle wiggled into your shorts and rubbed your clothed pussy.

"Look at you. All worked up over him."

They paused.

"How disgusting."

The tentacle ripped your panties to shreds and started rubbing up and down along your folds. You tried to pull away but you just kept hitting the back of your couch.

"P-Please! Please don't!"

They moved from behind you to stand in front of your face. Your brain couldn't comprehend what they were. It was a man. But something was off about him that you couldn't explain. Maybe it was his long locks of matted white hair or his thin yet muscular appearance? No, it was definitely the uncanny feeling his face gave you. With the whites of his eyes completely black and scars and wrinkles all over. Crimson eyes pierced your soul as he stared down at you.

"Please don't what? Don't touch what's mine? I don't think you quite understand what's going on here."

He grabbed you by your chin and leaned into your face. You could feel his breath fan across your features.

"How should I put this? I own you. So I don't like when people touch what I own. And you wanna know what I also don't like?"

You whimpered in response, pulling away.

"I don't like when you reject me. When you would rather let that little boy who doesn't even care about you have his way with you."

Your mind was reeling. What was he talking about? How could this man you didn't even know like you? Not only like you but assume that Ash, your best friend, didn't care about you. What did he know? What even was he?

"I-I don't understand."

Tears streamed down your face as thousands of thoughts and questions overwhelmed you. Suddenly, something rough pressed against your lips and you realized he kissed you. It was tender at first but he quickly dominated you and stuck his tongue down your throat. You almost choked on it. It was thick and too long for an average tongue. He started fucking you with it. The feeling was unimaginable and you, enjoyed it? It was embarrassing to admit and awful to think about but halfway through, you started rubbing your legs together. And he seemed to notice because he sped up. Thoroughly fucking you out. When he pulled away you felt empty and cold. Without much thought, you whined at his absence and he smiled in response.

"Do you understand now?"

He licked a long stroke up the side of your face.

"I'm the only one who can please you."

The tentacle working your pussy seemed to have gotten bored and started rubbing circles around your clit instead. Soft moans escaped your lips with each movement.

"B-But how do you even like someone like me!?"

The man paused for a bit. He seemed surprised by your question, which made sense because you also didn't know where that came from. But all of a sudden emotions were just spilling out of you.

"My own father th-thinks I'm hideous. Ash was one of my only friends. I-I loved him because he didn't care about what I looked like. And now he's gone."

More tears fell from your eyes as you admitted this out loud.

"You were in my dreams, my phone, a-and for what? All that for a fat girl that nobody even thinks of dating!"

Your stomach churned as the feeling of pleasure and misery mixed together like you had consumed something rotten.

You could feel his eyes on you, judging you. Of course he was, just like your father.

"What's wrong with you being fat?"

Your eyes widened at his question.

"Wha-"

You were cut off by his sudden touch. He grabbed your waist and squished your love handles, playing with them.

"You're so soft and squishy."

His hands slid up to your chest as he groped there too.

"I mean, look at me. I'm the exact opposite of you. Isn't that exciting?"

He pinched you and you whimpered.

"I'm rough and slim and you're buttery and thick. My hands just sink into you."

He let out a sigh.

"It's exhilarating."

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Nobody had ever told you that before. Your grandma was always okay with your weight but you didn't realize until now that being okay with you is different than liking you. Was Ash also just "okay" with you? Something welded up inside of you at that realization. You wanted to be praised more. You wanted to be loved more than anything. Loved by him.

"Besides, you're more than just your looks, right?"

You smiled. Your grandma used to tell you that but most of the time people just wanna hear they're pretty every once in a while. But from him, it felt nice. Your arousal had been lost in a sea of different feelings and emotions, now seemingly canceling each other out. Everything felt calmer now.

"Umm, what's your name?"

He pressed his face against your chest.

"Tomura."

"Tomura. That's a pretty name."

He froze for a bit. Even his tentacles loosened around you. He spoke but his words were muffled and low.

"What?" You asked and he lifted his head.

"Doesn't matter."

The tentacle that now rested against your pussy started moving again.

"Was that your way of coming around? Because I'm not done with you yet."

His long tongue snaked out from between his lips. It was a deep indigo color that mirrored the tentacles. He was so enticing.

"Will you… Be nice to me?"

Tomura smiled. There was something sinister underneath but it still captivated you.

"The nicest."

——————————————————————

Writing requests are open!

[cowgurrrl]

Hello! Would it be possible to get some rockstar!joel and actrees!reader proposal/wedding stuff? Absolutely in loveee with the story!!

Yesssss!! I’m so excited to write this!! Thank you for the request 🫶

I Want To Marry You

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Author’s note: Dedicated to everyone who ever loved me enough to try again. Let’s get coffee sometime.

Summary: Joel asks you The Question [3.3k]

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, family fluff, things coming full circle, oh god I love them

Joel's been acting weird the past few days. You're not in a fight. You're between projects right now, and he's always plunking music in the home studio. Everybody's healthy and happy. You can't pinpoint exactly why he's being jumpy or disappearing into the garage to take phone calls, but you trust him to tell you if something's happening. Still, it throws you off.

When you tell Carolina about it, she reassures you it's probably nothing. "Maybe he's going to surprise you with a romantic getaway or something like that." She suggests, and you laugh as you fiddle with Daisy's collar. She also seemed to sense the shift in the house because she's gotten especially clingy recently. 

"You have kids. You know how hard it is to get away." You say, shaking your head. 

"Yeah, but my kids are seven and three. Not seventeen and twenty-one." 

"Still! Ellie's in school, and even though Sarah has her own apartment now, I don't like going super far in case she needs one of us. That's why we stagger our schedules like we do." 

"Did your mom worry about you this much when you were twenty-one?" She asks. You laugh because she knows the answer. She knew what you were like in your early twenties, and somebody definitely should've been worrying about you.

"My mom didn't even know what borough I lived in at twenty-one." You say. "It's not a bad thing to want to be close. Do you remember when I dropped a plate and cut my foot open on the broken glass and had to take a cab to the hospital?"

"God, don't remind me." She shudders. Carolina had come home to find your tiny apartment in Hell's Kitchen empty and covered in blood. For exactly twenty seconds, she believed you'd be axe-murdered and dragged away by the killer until you called her and told her what happened, resulting in a ten-minute-long conversation about how many people in Manhattan realistically own axes. 

"All I'm saying is I don't want Sarah to be bleeding out in the back of a stranger's car if Joel or I can be there instead."

"You worry too much." She says. "But, then again, all the best moms do."

"Not their mom." You say quickly as if she’d thrown you a ticking bomb and you’re trying to pass it right back to her.

"Yeah, but you're the closest thing they have to one."

"That's true, but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on the girls. They shouldn't have to call me anything they don't want to, and I'm not going to replace their moms."

"Of course not, honey, and nobody would accuse you of doing that, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said you didn't love those girls like they're your own."

"I know." You sigh. "I just worry."

"I know you do." She says. Carolina has been there for all your worrying over the years. Worrying about how you were gonna pay rent, when your next job would come in, and whatever stupid boy you were seeing at the moment. She knows how to calm you down and take your mind off things. "Why don't you get out of the little worry hole you've dug yourself into and come with me and the girls to get our nails done? It'll be fun, and you'll get to hang out with your goddaughters." 

"When?"

"Tomorrow?" She says, and you mentally flip through your calendar. 

"I think I can do tomorrow. Send me a time and place, and I'll be there." You say as the front door opens and closes. You furrow your brows and walk to the top of the stairs to see what's happening. A smiley face greets you with a wave, and you hurriedly hang up on Carolina.

"Sarah! What are you doing here, bug?" You ask as you rush down the stairs to hug her. Joel beams as he watches you embrace her for several long seconds, not pulling away until she does.

"Just missed y'all." She mumbles into your shoulder, and you kiss her temple. She's twenty minutes up the road, but it feels like a lifetime away. 

"Sarah!" Ellie yells and joins in on your hug without hesitation. The three of you dissolve into a fit of giggles, and Joel just stands there, watching the madness unfold. Joel has never been good at hiding his emotions, and you've always been good at reading him like a book. The look he gives you and the girls is full of love and pride and something deeper, something more meaningful. You raise an arm to pull him into the group hug, and he pretends to be annoyed, but he snuggles in with the three of you, kissing each of your foreheads. 

You spend the night making dinner and chocolate chip cookies with the girls and Joel (and Daisy ever so graciously cleaning up the remnants of a food fight Joel started) before curling up on the couch with them and watching a movie. It's just like every other time you've sat and watched whatever movie the girls have been dying to see, but as you rest against Joel's chest, something pricks in your brain. This feels different. He feels different. His hands run a nervous course from your shoulder to your wrist, and his head occasionally dips to kiss at the juncture of your neck. It's like he can't sit still. 

"You okay?" You whisper, glancing at him. He gives you a confused look but nods anyway.

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

"I don't know. I'm probably just anxious for no reason." You shrug. He pulls you close and kisses your temple, keeping you close as the movie continues. At the end of the night, Joel carries both the girls to bed even though he's forty-three and could've let them sleep on the couch. You didn't tell him this, of course, because who are you to pull him back from Dad Mode? So, you cautiously walk in front of him, kicking stray clothes or backpacks out of the way so he doesn't trip. Once Sarah and Ellie are safely tucked into bed, Joel scoops you up by your waist and throws you over his shoulder to carry you into your shared bedroom. 

You laugh the whole way in, and when he plops you down on the bed, you wrap your legs around his waist and keep him close. Your fingers reach up to tug the necklace out from under his shirt collar and play with the pendant as he stares at you.

"What're you thinking about?" You ask.

"Thinking bout us." He says, and you raise your eyebrows at him.

"Oh, do tell."

"We've been together a long time." 

"Sick of me already?" You ask, making him laugh, but he shakes his head and kisses you, traces of chocolate and cinnamon lingering on his lips. 

"Never." He says. "I was just thinkin' bout it." Technically, it's true. You guys have been together for a while. This year, it'll almost be four years since you walked into that office in Beverly Hills and met him. You remember thinking you would finish out the contract and never see him again. Little did you know Joel Miller would become the man making you dinner most nights and carrying you off to bed. Or that he'd throw you the best thirtieth birthday party in the history of birthday parties. Or that you'd move in with him and his daughters. Or that you'd love him more than you've ever loved anyone. 

"It's weird to think I went so long without knowing you." You mumble, your hold on him tightening like you're scared he'll fade away if you don't cling to him. He rests his forehead against yours, sensing your anxiety spiking, and you're overwhelmed by him. Your legs are still locked around his waist, and your chests are touching, the points of contact sending little butterflies fluttering through your veins. You can't see, taste, feel, or smell anything that isn't Joel.

"'M not goin' anywhere." He says, and you nod. "Ever."

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Miller." You joke, trying to ease your brain out of your spiraling and lighten the air between you two. He laughs, and the room brightens as he does. 

"Do your worst, darlin'." 

When you wake up the next morning, Joel isn't there. You reach for him and find a piece of paper on his cold pillow. How long has he been gone? How the fuck did you sleep through him rolling out of your arms? You squint in the early morning sun as you read the note.

You sigh and grumble into your pillow. What kind of psychopath runs errands at nine in the morning? The kind of psychopath you love, that's who. You lay in the too-big bed for a few more minutes before finally getting up and checking your phone. Carolina has texted you with the address of a nail salon and told you to meet her at eleven, but other than that, your phone is radio silent. Not that you're complaining, but normally you're bombarded with notifications from when you wake up to when you go to bed. It's nice, if not a little unnerving, to not have five million people to respond to the first thing in the morning.

When you walk downstairs, you expect to see Sarah and Ellie sitting at the table and eating, but no one's there. You call for the girls, but the only person who responds is Daisy, who dances in front of you. You crouch down to pet her and give her good morning kisses. "Just us today, huh?" You ask, a little sad, but nobody is more excited about one-on-one time quite like Daisy Mae. You give Daisy breakfast before letting her run around the backyard and making yourself something to eat.

You scroll aimlessly through your phone until it's time to leave and meet Carolina and the girls at the nail salon. Elizabeth and Victoria launch themselves at you the second they catch sight of you, and you spend the better half of your appointment with a child on your lap and listening to the latest drama from Elizabeth's first-grade classroom. You have the girls help pick out what color to paint your nails, and they each land on a pretty ballet slipper pink. "Good taste, guys," you praise as you show the nail technician what color you want. "Just like your mama, huh?"

"I mean, I wasn't gonna say it," Carolina says, and you laugh. Caro, like usual, is right about needing to take some time for yourself to stop worrying. You can actually relax in the big, plush chairs and talk to the girls like nothing could be more important than what they had for breakfast. Carolina hugs you tighter than normal at the end of your appointment and says she'll see you later before ushering the girls into their car seats. You barely have time to react before she's driving away like nothing happened. 

Did you make plans with her and forget about them? It's happened before, so you wouldn't be overly surprised if it happened again. But if that's the case, why didn't she say anything? You shake your head as if it'll shake out all your racing thoughts and get in your car to drive home. When you pull into the driveway, everyone's cars are back where they belong, and you selfishly get really excited about seeing them. Except, the exact second you step through the door, Joel is putting Daisy's harness on her and has his running shoes on.

"Where are you going?" You ask, your mood dropping at seeing him ready to leave again. He looks up and smiles despite the pout on your lips.

"There you are! We were waiting on you so we could take Daisy for a walk." He says, breathless as he wrestles with your pitbull. You look past Joel and see Sarah and Ellie standing there with shoes and sunglasses on. 

"We really need four people for a dog walk?" 

"I wanted to show the girls the new route along the beach we found." He says. "Is that okay?" You nod.

"We just might look crazy, but, of course! Let me change my shoes!" You call as you take the stairs two at a time to get up to your bedroom. You decide to wear the pink tennis shoes to match your cute pink nails before ambling back downstairs and walking out the door. When you first rescued Daisy, she didn't let anyone but you hold her leash. However, after years spent with Joel and the girls, she can be walked by just about anyone as long as you're there. She's as much of your comfort dog as you are her comfort person.

Taking your hand in his, Joel walks Daisy with the other and swings your hands through the air as Sarah and Ellie walk behind you. It's a little silly, but you'll take all the affection after waking up without anyone else in the house. Slowly, the five of you make your way toward the sound of the crashing waves and the smell of salt in the air. The cliffs hang ominously above the empty beach and boardwalks, but you love it. You once told Joel when you walk out this far, it feels like you're the only person around. Something about being near the water makes you feel even better. A pop of color near the sidewalk catches your attention, and you break off from your little ragtag group to see what it is.

"Joel, come look at this." You say, leaning over the rope to look down at the wildflowers dancing on the cliffside. It's gorgeous, and the wind perfectly balances the blistering hot day, but he doesn't immediately appear at your side like he normally would. You furrow your brows and turn to see him down on one knee with a ring in his hand. Your breath catches in your throat, and you immediately cover your mouth with your hand. Joel smiles with watery eyes as he reaches for the other and pulls you close to him. 

"Did you know about this?" You look past Joel to see Ellie and Sarah standing there, Daisy's leash wrapped around Ellie's wrist as Sarah records on her phone, and they laugh. Their smiles and teary eyes are all the confirmation you need, and you look back down at Joel. "Is this why you've been acting so weird?" You ask, and he laughs.

"Yeah, this is why I've been actin' so weird," he says. His Adam's apple bobs as he says your name and your legs shake under you. "I love you, and I fall more in love with you every single day. There's not a single moment I've spent with you where I've not wondered what the fuck you see in me." He's crying now, but you can't stop the laughter from bubbling out from your chest. He squeezes your hand and takes a deep breath before continuing. "And you don't just love me, but you love my girls. You make them feel safe and cared for. You've given them somethin' I've been tryin' and failin' to give them for years, and I will spend the rest of my days tryna repay you for that."  

"Will you marry me?" He finally asks, and you sniffle. Tears stain everyone's face, and even Daisy is crying next to Ellie, and you'd laugh if you could see past the tears in your eyes. You nod and drop to your knees with Joel.

"Yes." You say as you grab his face and kiss him. "Yes. Yes. Yes. Of course, I'll marry you." You repeat over and over again as his arms lock around your waist. Sarah and Ellie cheer, suddenly no longer annoyed at your PDA, and you smile against Joel's lips. He adjusts his hold on you to give you a good look at the ring for the first time, and all your breath leaves you in a huff. It's gorgeous. A simple oval-shaped diamond on a gold band with an engraving on the inside. 

"What does this say?" You ask, and he smiles as he holds it so you can read it. You immediately start crying when you read and realize what it means. He wrote inside your engagement ring, "And one day, we'll get coffee & try again." You said it to him before you left for Ireland when your heart was broken, and you didn't know the future could ever be this soft. He slips it onto your left ring finger and gathers you in his arms, both of you still on the ground and crying like crazy people. You don't care. You hold him so tight you almost miss him whispering into your skin.

"Thank you for trying again with me." He says. Ellie, Sarah, and Daisy join in on your crying in the middle of the sidewalk huddle, and you're completely surrounded by love. After a few minutes, you calm down enough to stand and kiss Joel again, making people cheer from the beach below. When you look over the rope, down to where the wildflowers are, you can see a group of your favorite people on the beach. They must've been hidden until Joel could propose, and now they're all making their joy well known with hoots and hollers. 

Joel holds your hand as the girls lead the way down to the beach, where there's a makeshift bar and picnic set up with a giant banner reading "CONGRATULATIONS" with a little ring in the middle. "This is what the errands were this morning," Joel tells you quietly, and you smile. 

"You're pretty good at keeping secrets, Miller."

"Not really. Everyone here knew I was proposing before you did," he says, and you laugh. "Besides, I'd watch it with the Miller thing considering you're becomin' one." 

"I guess that's true." You sigh happily as Ryan ambushes you, picking you up in his arms and spinning you around. You squeal until he puts you back down and immediately demands to see your ring. Carolina comes up behind him as you show him, her eyes popping out of her head at the sight.

"Damn, Joel!" She exclaims, and Joel laughs. 

"Only the best for my bride." He says. My bride. It rings in your head like a bell, echoing through your mind like gospel. You look around at the faces of everyone you've ever loved. Your manager, Sierra, and her partner, Bianca, are talking with Lili and Peter. Sarah and Ellie are running up and down the beach with Daisy, Elizabeth, and Victoria, struggling to keep up. Hank and Lucia patiently wait their turn at the bar next to Tommy and Maria. Your beauty team, Alexa and Jenna, laugh together as they talk to a handful of other costars they've also worked with. The beach is crawling with family, both of origin and found, and you wouldn't want it any other way. 

As you make your rounds with Joel on your arm, showing off your ring and trying not to cry as people tell you how happy they are for you, you wish you could show your past self this moment. The girl who packed up all her shit and moved across the world after breaking up with the love of her life. The girl who spent countless nights crying herself to sleep and going to therapy and trying to create a better life for herself. The girl who almost backed out of a coffee date three years ago because she was so scared the man on the other side of the table wouldn't like what he found. You wish she could see this and know she did the right thing. You wish she knew things ended up okay. You wish she knew she got to try again, and it changed her entire life. Wherever she is, you hope she knows she did good.

"What're you thinkin' bout?" Joel whispers in your ear as he hands you a glass of champagne. You smile and shake your head.

"Just… someone I used to know."

[code-es]

let today = new Date(14 May 2023);

Perks of having your sister work at a cafe: free study space + discounted coffee

Today I'm catching up on some emailing, writing, and coding. And! Going bouldering later, the official sport of tech ppl lol.

Tomorrow we're starting a new course which will be about creative programming and I'm so excited! There's so much i want to do, especially since working with three.js.

It's nice feeling this motivated, cause honestly I've had a hard time coding as much as I want, and mental health is (as always) a struggle. I want to be as unfiltered as possible on here, because not every day is me checking off points on my to-do list and having a cute latte at a café, many days i just lay and decompose in bed lmao, but that's ok! Life is not all or nothing; just because i can't get out of bed one day, doesn't mean i can't get up and work the next one. I would show those days too, but i don't have any aesthetic pics from then, so you're just gonna have to believe me :p to anyone else struggling with mental health: we're in this together! (':

♫ Been listening to Traveler's Encore by Andrew Prahlow non stop the last month, it's been great for my anxiety ^^