#I'm gonna abandon it so it has anxious avoidant attachment styles

[pierogi-potwater]

We have an egg to take care of in psychology class to model bonds. Meet Kim Katsu Eggie everyone!

[asetoblog]

A Seto psychological assessment

So, I said I was gonna do this and now I finally did it. Behold, a Seto Kaiba psychological assessment about interpersonal relationships! (I'm gonna try to make this as simple as possible for everyone <3)

I'm gonna consider original dub Seto ONLY, since the american version totally fucked his character up.

ATTACHMENT STYLE

According to Ainsworth and Bowlby's studies there are 4 Attachment styles:

Anxious/Preoccupied

Avoidant/Dismissive (ding ding ding!)

Disorganized/Fearful

Secure

What are Attachment styles (or Internal Working Models)? In children, we can find that they behave in different ways according to the presence or absence of their parents in an environment: anxious children have a deep fear of being abandoned or left alone so they act really upset or even cry when their parents are not around; avoidant/dismissive children usually hate to depend on others and don't care if they are left alone (they like minding their business); disorganized children are harder to understand since they act fearful towards their parents but at the same time they want to be close to them; finally secure children have a healthy relationship with their parents.

I think you've already noticed which one fits Kaiba the most: of course he's gonna be an Avoidant child!

(Mind that I think his attachment style CHANGED after he and Mokuba got adopted by Gozaburo, so there's gonna be a paragraph about their biological parents' death, because I think Seto's behaviour was much different before the whole orphanage and adoption thing)

The attachment style of a child is of course going to define their behaviour as adolescents and adults. The attachment styles of teenager/adults are pretty much the same and now I'm gonna list any behaviour that confirms Seto's attachment (Avoidant/Dismissive): as the Adult Attachment Interview (the AAI, a psychological test) suggests, avoidant people tend to belittle or even ignore their own emotions concerning their relationships with anyone (Seto openly admits to love and care about Mokuba and no one else, but even this happens rarely in the series and when it does he's pretty much always ALONE, when no one can hear or see him. It happens only once in Noah's Arc in the anime, when he gives us that ssweet face in front of Yugi and Co). The fact that he avoids his emotions about relationships and attachment with caregivers is also held up by the fact that he never brings up his parents, nor even with Mokuba. In Noah's Arc only Mokuba says something about them; Seto doesn't answer. Avoidant people also tend to devaluate their attachment with their caregiver (in this case we're gonna consider Gozaburo as the “caregiver/parent” because he gave our boy big trauma): if I remember correctly, Seto says he stopped calling Gozaburo “father” at one point. HOWEVER, the rest of the Avoidant assessment doesn't really fit Seto's behaviour, because he remembers very well what Gozaburo did to him (being physically and psychologically abusive) and doesn't idealize him as a good parent (which is what Avoidant people tend to do), so I think he's got also a little bit of Preoccupied and Secure characteristics in him (I'm gonna talk about this in a sec) and I believe it's because he's got a little of the positive influence of his biological parents in him AND he's not an easy guy to control/influence.

According to the AAI, Secure teenagers/adults are fully conscious of the abuse they suffered (I think Seto totally is, he just – you know – AVOIDS it) and are able to find a way to be happy and healthy again (I mean, I don't really think made it to the end, but he's still young and he's got a long road ahead, maybe he'll fully heal some day and I believe he's capable of doing that, because we've already seen his character development since the begninning of manga to the movie DSOD. Mokuba has been his strength and, you may like it or not, Yugi and Co (especially Atem) being a good challenge, nosy and friendly helped him too, which is cute (also Atem and Jonouchi made him reconsider playing games for love and fun, instead of only winning, so he found that old spark he loved playing games for again). Also, this is a little unrelated to the attachment itself, but a Secure person can also be defined as an autonomous and functional adult and I think he is, since he's a freaking CEO(?).

Now, let's talk about the Preoccupied people a little: a part of the AAI says that some individuals feel anger and/or conflict towards one or both parents. I mean. I don't think I have to explain this one, but Seto perfectly shows he hasn't moved on from the hatred he feels fro Gozaburo (and rightly so, I might say lmao). In Battle City he destroys an entire Island just to get rid of Gozaburo's memory and Obelisk representes his wrath and hatred (the soundtrack itself is called Wrath of God).

So, there we have it: Seto's an Avoidant child/teen, with some Secure and Preoccupied behaviour.

Some time later, another theory entered the chat: Lyons-Ruth presented her classification system of the attachment adding new styles, which are Hostile and Helpless. HH behaviour indicates that traumas are still present and working (ouch).

Hostile individuals are busy trying to control their own unwanted emotions and feelings of vulnerability (lol, Seto I see you): they are pretty much in denial, trying to hide their feelings of fear and helplessness. They also tend to identify themselves as their abusive parent and they hate it (yeah... I mean, this is so Seto).

Now, as I said in the beginning, I'm gonna talk a little bit about his attachment style BEFORE the orphanage thing. Seto used to smile (a lot), play many different games with Mokuba (which suggests they grew up in a positive environment where the parents were loving and the family as a whole was functional, since there seemed to be no hostility betweet the two brothers), be supportive, be happy and active. This is important, because this indicates that the little guy had good caregivers (as I said the family was functional and he had and still has a good relationship with his younger brother) and that means: Secure attachment style. Being Secure means not freaking out about a caregiver's absence and this might be a little stretch since grief is no joke at all, but even if it's a traumatic event, Seto handled it like a champ. (Of course this doesn't mean that didn't hurt and he didn't suffer. Quite the contrary. But he's been very strong since childhood).

I think this is it for the attachment style! Moving on to ...

GRIEF IN CHILDREN

So, we all know Seto and Mokuba lost their parents in an accident when they were children (I think Seto was about 8 or 9 yo and Mokuba was 4). Studies suggest that 4 yo children start to understand how death works (it's irreversible and universal, that means that they know who dies won't come back and that everyone will have the same fate sooner or later), whilst 6 yo and older children fully understand other implications (e.g. vital functions - like breathing - stop, and so on).

Now, of course this is considered as a very traumatic event for children to go through, but they can be calmed if treated right. Which didn't happen with Seto and Mokuba of course (poor babies).

Not only they suffered the sudden loss of their parents, but they also had to face heartless relatives who didn't want them and abandoned them in an orphanage. At that point Seto decided to step in as a father for Mokuba, which is HUGE for an 8 yo child who doesn't even know to tie his shoes yet (but is really great at chess, yo!)(just kidding).

What the studies tell us is that children who suffer a sudden loss of their parents also lose their only source of safety and support, which will make them feel like they're in danger and abandoned. What emotional reactions this may cause: sadness, anger, anxiety, apathy, shame and guilt. I'm pretty sure Seto felt all of this, but ignored it and tried to stay focused for Mokuba, which is sweet and a great proof of psychological stregth.

Physical symptoms: headaches (I'm sure Seto gets a lot of them), anxiety, sleep disorders (like, come on...), always scared of what could happen to other people (you may argue Seto doesn't give a shit about anybody, but everytime Yugi and Co are in danger, Seto's always there ready to help even if he doesn't admit it), always on the alert.

However, the most interesting bit is what a loss like this causes to children's relationship with their peers: they start to isolate themselves and start to show aggressive or hostile behaviour, which is exactly what Seto does. He's definitely a loner even as a teenager and he's a little hostile and dismissive towards everybody, especially his peers.

So, I think that's all...? If anything else comes to mind I will edit this post and add it, but I think that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed this!

PS: I'm sorry if there are mistakes or weird sentences, english is not my first language. I tried! 💀

[edgyandoverzealous]

Show Log: Ninjago Masters of Spinjitzu Pt 1

My thoughts and opinions during my first watch through of Ninjago Masters of Spinjitzu because I'm a poor boy from a poor family and trans so I was robbed of most "male children entertainment". My first thoughts as I've found I am now fully invested in the show. Featuring what I learned in my human development class. Mostly my son, Lloyd in this one because it's not fair and I'm upsetti spaghetti.

Season 2 episode 5:

• the ninjas are idiots, your honor, what's new you ask? As far as I've watched nothing, they're idiots, albeit lovable ones don't get me wrong, but they do not know the fundamental rule for raising children and neither does Master Wu.

• play is a child's work and in order for a child to progress and develop normally and happily there needs to be a balance and Lloyd has not been given that balance with his training. In short, they're fucking up a perfectly good kid. They're gonna fuck up his development and he's going to develop a complex or a mental disorder of sorts and it's gonna be traced back to you in therapy later. <3

• I know Lloyd is the Green Ninja meaning one day he will be so strong he'll save all of Ninjago from his evil dad. It's his destiny. Blah blah blah. Shut up, sit down and look that 8-10 year old boy in the eyes. He's just a kid. He's already dealing with his abandonment issues from world's best father/s (more on him at the end in season one observations) and trying to figure out who he is.

• Honestly that alone ensures he's gonna struggle for quite some time and ensure he needs therapy because canonically, Lord Garmadon left Lloyd at a young age, showed up, and then left again so Lloyds attachment style is an anxious/avoidant type because hey parents the way you do or don't care for your kids will follow them for the rest of their lives. If I were to take a swing at it I'd assume it's more of an Anxious-avoidant attachment style going by how Lloyd handles rejection/being left alone, accepting it with little protest and how he treats the others upon return, slight aggression/irritation before acceptance and interaction. He also attempted to make it known that he didn't want to be left alone but often ended up that way anyways.

• This is why he needs more stability and for people to attempt to build stable fucking attachments with him before he's too old to seek that himself and has years of unpacking himself to "undo" heal the damage caused to whatever extent they can.

• Oh wait, it's already too late because the color coded idiots fucked around, found out, and Lloyd being Lloyd trying to be good and helpful got tangled in and now he went from being 8-10 to mid-teen years based on appearance.

• Note: My boy Jay actively was against this. He didn't want to rob Lloyd of his childhood, at least physically, he at least wanted Lloyd to be raised normally. But Lloyd and his ever developing hero compels (I believe it's closer to a Martyr complex due to destructive nature of his sacrifice) couldn't let them worm around it so he sacrificed his youth and childhood.

• He sacrificed his childhood, literally and figuratively, for the sake of his essentially adoptive family's safety and no one even thanked him? Guys. *exasperated* Guys, he's going to be so fucked up. He's going to need years of counseling.

• Also if my boy loses his whimsy and playful nature because of this I'm going to riot and I mean it. Lloyd has the potential for a happier healthier childhood than he'd previously had and threw it away so if he's forever changed, which let's face it he probably is, imma be so mad.

Season 1-Season 2 ep 4: additionals

• Jay is a mechanic son who is kinda bad at making his shit to work first try is endearing and the fact he was so mean to his parents the first time pisses me off because they're the sweetest.

• Jay is just like me frfr bc I too look at my partner with heart eyes at all time and if yours doesn't find one who does. Also he ignores problems until last minute but don't stare at that one for too long.

• Jay's type is women who can kick his ass but won't because they're sweethearts and like his goofy ass.

• Or alternatively Nya's type is goofy goobers who have false confidence and appreciate her strengths/skills

• Nya outdoing her brother in everything is everything to me. Also she's super fucking smart she built an entire samurai suit and most of the tech/vehicles for the team and they work damn near flawlessly every time. Genius strong and pretty.

• Cole being the son of a musical theatre kid and promptly choosing an art that is not upon first glance anything like musical theatre is the most son of a musical theatre kid thing to ever exist.

• Him then using dance moves in his fighting is fundamentally hilarious and I love him for that. He can also sing and as the groups "emo", which he totally is because hes the quiet brooding one, that's so fucking funny. It's even funnier that he's like that because he lost a competition when he was 7 because of a failed dance move.

• Kai, Nya's brother, Kai looks out for Nya which is sweet and he supports her 110% they balance each other really well. I want them to interact more.

• He's also smarter than he lets on because he was first to realize Lloyd was the green Ninja. I also love how he's developed from obsessive and selfish to be more selfless and responsible.

• Zane's backstory almost made me cry. He's a ninjabot made to protect those who can't protect themselves but was raised by the scientist who created him like a sonm it's just so sweet and wholesome. I'm pretty sure it anything else happens to him I'll lose it because I love him.

• also before Zane knew he was a robot he was still my favorite because he's so powerful and wholesome in general as a character his heart is in the right place and I love him simply put.

• Lord Garmadon, I hate you. You set your boy you clearly love in some sense up for failure the moment he was born with your abandonment and frankly your wish washy personality is screwing up a perfectly good kid. You tell him you're proud of him and then tell him to quit because he'll never be good enough? Dude screw you. I hope you and your snake bus fall into a different dimension of no escape. <3

• Also he destroyed the snake that bit him so now he's just being evil for the sake of evil knowing perfectly well that he's putting his own son through the horrors.

[bi-bard]

Grounding - Will Graham Imagine (Hannibal)

Title: Grounding

Pairing: Will Graham X Reader

Word Count: 1,660 words

Warning(s): mentions of Will's instability (this poor ma just needed some genuine help)

Summary: (Season 1) (Y/n) needed to talk to someone about their feelings for Will. After speaking with Alana, (Y/n) feels like there are too many risks in expressing an interest in Will. He doesn't agree with that assessment.

Author's Note: I... love Will Graham. I will continue writing about him until everyone loves him as much as I do.

-----------------------------------

"Hey, Alana," I jogged over to her, falling into step with her. "Can we talk about something?"

"Sure," she nodded.

I pointed toward an empty office. She followed me, letting me shut the door behind her.

"What's going on?"

"I just... I need to say this out loud so it isn't sitting in the back of my mind while I'm working."

"I don't know if that's gonna-"

"Let me believe it," I cut her off. She held her hands up. I paused as I pulled myself together.

"Hey," she touched my arm. "Nothing leaves this room."

"I think I'm in love with Will," I spit out.

Her eyes went wide for a moment. She slowly nodded.

"Sorry-"

"No, no need to apologize," she promised. "That's a big deal."

"I know," I replied.

"I... Can I give you a professional opinion?"

"That's never a good way for a talk to start," I said.

"Will isn't... Will might not be in a position where a relationship would be healthy," she tried to word it as carefully as she could, but I knew what she was referring to.

"I understand," I nodded.

"(Y/n)-"

"I know," I cut her off. "He has nightmares. He gets into the minds of killers for a living, which only fuels the nightmares. He has a lot of trouble with physical touch and eye contact. He has some kind of abandonment issues that probably led to an avoidant attachment style. That's why he takes in more stray dogs than he has friends. Hate to break it to you, Alana, but I studied psychology too. I understand the risks here."

"If you two end up together-"

"There's a chance of us becoming codependent, I know," I stopped her. "I... I don't know what I'm going to do."

"You need to wait for him to heal, " she sighed.

"Yeah, I know."

I ran a hand over my face.

"Anyway," I felt a lump growing in my throat as I tried to blink away any tears, "I just wanted to get that off my chest but thank you for that. Not like I had already been anxious about that exact thing."

"(Y/n)-"

"I'll talk to you later."

I walked out of the room, going to walk down the hall. I saw Will looking at a file as he walked down the hall, so I quickly turned around and walked the other way.

I had managed to work through the day without focusing on Will. It wasn't until that night that I got a phone call from him.

"Hey, what's up," I asked.

"I... found another dog," he confessed. I almost chuckled. He sounded like a guilty child. "He has a collar, but it's late and cold, so I took him in for the night. He's now hiding under my bed, and I wanted to see if maybe he was quicker to trust you."

"Why me?"

"I don't know," he muttered. "You're just trustworthy, I guess."

I grinned and closed my eyes for a moment.

"Okay," I said after a moment. "I'll be there in a bit."

"Thank you."

When I made it to the house, Will was waiting outside.

"Hey," I waved as I walked over. He waved back. "Where's the baby?"

He chuckled, "Under the bed, tucked against the wall."

I nodded and walked inside.

I walked over and laid on my stomach on the floor. I saw a little puppy curled by the wall, shaking.

"Hello," I said quietly. I slowly pushed my hand forward. "Hi. How are you, baby?"

I looked over when Will laid on the ground next to me.

"Don't crowd too close," I warned, turning to the puppy. "Don't wanna overwhelm him."

Will nodded and scooted back a little bit.

"Hi, puppy doggy," I said softly. I held my free hand out to Will. "Give me one of the dog treats."

"I tried to lure him-"

"Will."

He sighed and handed me the treat.

"Here you go," I held a small piece of the treat out to the puppy. "Are you hungry, puppy?"

The dog started sniffing in the direction of the treat. I laid the first piece down on the floor before breaking off another piece and scooting back a little bit.

Soon, the dog had slowly crawled out from under the bed.

"Hello," I said, offering the last piece of the treat. I let the dog sniff my hand before I pet him lightly. "You're a sweetheart."

I carefully picked up the dog and he stayed calm.

"What a good puppy," I muttered.

Will carefully reached over and let the puppy sniff his hand.

"You've got a gift," he said.

I chuckled, "I had treats."

"I had treats," he corrected. "You performed a miracle."

"Will Graham believes in miracles," I pretended to be shocked. "Learn new things every day."

He chuckled and looked down.

"I think the other dogs are making him nervous."

"Yeah, I set up the little laundry room for him for the night," Will pointed over to it. "Puppy pads, food, water, and a few towels as a bed. I was just going to keep checking on him every now and then."

"All night?"

"I don't sleep much anyway," he shrugged.

Will helped me stand up without putting down the puppy.

Once we got the dog situated, Will offered me something to drink.

"I'm alright," I shook my head.

"Please," he said. "I dragged you out here. Let me make sure you didn't waste the drive."

"Fine, fine," I nodded. "Tea, please. I've gotta drive."

"The only reason I keep tea in the house is for you," he explained, walking over to his cabinet.

"Oh? You don't drink it?"

"No," he shook his head. "But I know you like it, so I keep it around."

I grinned at his back, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he turned back to me and leaned against the counter.

We both fell silent. I looked around the kitchen. This house always felt too big for Will. The dogs owned the main lounge area, but the rest of it just felt like it was waiting for Will to be comfortable there.

"You're worrying about me," Will noted.

"When am I not," I asked. "You due to try and avoid all my questions."

"I'm fine."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, I wouldn't believe me either," he sighed, looking down for a moment.

"Anything you wanna talk about," I pushed. "Work? Your therapy with Hannibal? Anything?"

He shook his head as he looked at me. Something seemed to shift. Something in his eyes was just different. I tried to pretend I didn't notice it.

"Are you sure?"

There was something. I could almost sense it.

He started taking steps toward me, "No..."

"What," I asked.

"I've... I've started having dissociative episodes," he explained. "I'm missing time, but apparently I look like I'm just fine."

"Any particular situations? Like is there something around you triggering it?"

"I don't know. I don't think so."

He was standing directly in front of me. I chose to try to ignore it, as out of character as it seemed.

"Maybe you should find some kind of anchor," I continued, trying to ignore how close we were. "Something that you can do or have that'll kind of drag you back into the moment? Something grounding."

He nodded, seeming to half-listen as his eyes bounced to different parts of my face.

He leaned in, merely a few inches from me, "Maybe that can be you."

He went to close the gap between us. I stepped back as soon as his lips brushed mine. I looked around the room, wanting to focus on anything other than him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"No, no," I shook my head. "Don't apologize. Please don't apologize."

I ran my hands over my face. I had a million thoughts running through my head. Everything Alana and I had talked about and everything that had happened over the last few weeks.

"I... I can't be the thing that grounds you," I tried to find a way to explain this without sounding like a dick. "I just... I can't. Relying on me like that is only going to end up hurting you."

Will nodded, looking at the ground.

"I want to support you, but I can't be your only anchor, Will."

"I know," he replied.

"I... I really do like you, Will," I said. "A lot. I just don't want to put you in a place to be disappointed. I need you to understand that."

I stepped forward and cupped the sides of his face.

"I understand," he promised, holding my hands in place. "I just want you."

I let out a breath.

He moved my hands from his face so he could rest his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes.

"Please," he muttered.

I leaned in and gently kissed him. My hands moved to grab onto his shirt, pulling him closer. Any hesitation, any pause, any argument about why I should've avoided this was just gone. All that was there was us.

I grinned against his lips when his hands grabbed my sides.

I didn't pull away until I was running out of breath. Will slowly opened his eyes and grinned at me. I let out a breathy chuckle as I looked at my hands. I slowly let go of my grip on his shirt and fixed it, laughing a little at myself.

"I love you," Will said quietly.

I looked back at his face. His eyes were still trained on my face.

"I love you too, Will," I replied.

We stood in silence for a little while longer.

"Will you stay here tonight," he asked. "Please."

I nodded, kissing his cheek lightly, completely forgetting about my lack of any change of clothes.

It was all worth it. Everything that was happening, everything that could happen. It was all worth it. Because we were happy and that's what mattered.

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