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slothquisitor · 2 days ago

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On Matters of Inertia: Chapter Seventeen

Summary: Leaving Treviso doesn't feel quite how Lucanis thought it would. Lucanis/Rook, post-game, 5.6k.

Also on AO3.

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Lucanis finds himself pacing his rooms, glaring at the freshly packed bags near the door. Before Camina had returned, they'd been a sign of change, of the future rushing his way. Now they seem to be mocking him as Camina explains the errand she'd accompanied Caterina on. How could he be so foolish as to think his grandmother would simply let him go?

"Well, we can't leave now," he says, words very nearly snarled.

Spite is also restless, glancing between him and Camina. "Can't leave? Want to leave. Go with Rook."

Camina folds her arms as she leans on the edge of his now-empty desk. "And why not?"

He glares at her. "My grandmother just walked a traitor Crow in the front door of the villa. She's going to let her stay here, after everything! Is she insane? You know what a risk that is?"

"A traitor Crow living in the house? How utterly unheard of," Camina says, tone teasing. "You didn't have a problem when it was Illario."

Maker, he wishes she'd take this seriously. "It's not the same, and you know it."

She shrugs. "You can't have it both ways, Lucanis. You told her you didn't want to be First Talon…I don't think you get a say in what she does next."

She's right, of course, she's right. Doesn't mean he has to like it. "She did this on purpose. To keep me here. She knows that I'd never leave when she walks a threat like that in."

"I might not be Caterina's biggest fan, but I don't think bringing Mariana here is some ploy to get you to stay. When she thought she had you and Teia and Viago united too, I think she believed they could push back against Mariana…but she knows things have to change. If she's working with Mariana…well, she gets the chance to shape Antiva…shape the Crows."

"You almost sound impressed," he says, his anger is burning away, seeping into something that feels more like exasperation.

He's stopped pacing, and only now does Camina approach him, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. "Before this, I was feeling very conflicted about leaving Treviso, but now? I think the best thing we can do is get out of their damn way."

He sighs and draws her closer, resting his forehead against hers. "I don't like it."

"You're not regretting your decision, are you?" The words are so quiet, so tentative.

He tightens his hold on her. "It's complicated, but…no."

He sees the relief in her face. "I'm glad. You should know that I do think it's also likely that Mariana and Caterina annoy each other to death before they can get much done."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Maybe? I don't think Caterina is used to dealing with someone who isn't afraid of her…who doesn't automatically defer to her."

"Well, she certainly got a crash course in that this week with you," he replies, unable to hide his grin. Watching Camina with his family this week has been equal parts entertaining and stressful, but he should have predicted that even with her bluntness, she'd still manage to win even his grandmother over.

Camina's smile is tight. "How long will you have to stay out of Treviso?"

He sighs. "It's hard to say. Caterina's power can only shield me so much. We'll probably always be looking over our shoulders. It will…be easier elsewhere, though."

"I didn't mean to cost you your home," Camina says, words laced with apology.

She has cost him nothing. If anything, she has simply pushed him to reach out and take what he wants from this world. He tucks a strand of long, dark hair behind her pointed ear. "You are my home. Besides, you've got magic and means, we can always sneak back in for an evening."

She laughs. "Alright, then."

"There was something else I wanted to ask you."

"Hmmm?"

"Could Illario come with us? You were right; he needs to get out of Treviso. From the Lighthouse, we can help him disappear using the Vi'Revas. We could help him make a new life."

"Is that what he wants?" she asks.

That gives him momentary pause. "I…I don't know. He didn't exactly want to talk to me after the conversation with Caterina this morning."

"And you're sure you want to do that for him? After everything he did to you?"

Sometimes, he forgets that because Camina's default is politeness and kindness that she hasn't forgiven Illario. She can work with him, even laugh and joke with his cousin, but she hasn't forgotten what he did. Still doesn't entirely trust him. And maybe Illario doesn't deserve anything from him, but he's still his cousin. They're still family. "Yes."

She cups his cheek. "That's your next stop, then."

He leans into her touch. "Maybe you should talk to him; he might actually come if you ask."

Camina's amethyst eyes soften, but she shakes her head. "No, this is a conversation you need to have just the two of you."

He kisses her then because he wants to and also because it delays the inevitability of everything that is coming next. He never tires of this, of the way she arches against him, or the quiet intake of breath as he gently nips her lower lip. Maker, he loves everything about her, everything about this, about moments like this. And now they have time, an entire future stretching out ahead of them that is entirely theirs to fill, to decide.

"I love you," he breathes, nose brushing against hers.

She smiles. "Have I told you how incredible I think you are?"

That she thinks so is enough to make him blush, to fill him with not a little awe. "Not today," he quips.

The shove she gives him is playful. "Go on, find Illario. I need to finish packing."

He steals one last kiss before he goes and then sets off to find Illario. It isn't hard; he just has to follow the scent of expensive wine and bitterness all the way to Illario's rooms in the guest house. That Illario hadn't bothered moving once being released from house arrest is something Lucanis decides not to interrogate too deeply. He finds his cousin sprawled across an armchair in front of the dying embers of the fire, surrounded by bottles of the finest vintages the villa has to offer, all empty.

There's a layer of dust on everything in the room, including a few of the bottles, which tells him that this isn't all the work of a single morning. There's some comfort in that, at least until he realizes that it also means Illario isn't allowing the servants to come in and clean. Illario has always had fairly exacting standards for his rooms and grooming…to see him living like this…Lucanis isn't sure what to make of it as he steps inside.

Illario doesn't say anything, doesn't even bother looking his way. His hair is escaping the usual knot he has it tied in, as though he's run his hands through it over and over again.

Spite sniffs the air and grimaces, but doesn't say anything beyond staring solemnly at Illario.

Lucanis isn't sure what to say. Like so many times before, he can feel the distance between them, and he has no idea how to breach it. He wishes Camina were here; she'd know the exact right thing to say, she'd be able to lighten the moment…get Illario at least pretending to engage.

He came here for a reason, so he might as well get on with it. "I came to see if you'd like to come with us — to the Lighthouse."

When Illario finally looks at him, his eyes are sharper than Lucanis expected they might be. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Already this is going well. Lucanis runs a hand down his face. "You cannot stay in Treviso."

Illario lets out a bitter laugh at that. "No one gives a shit what I do. Least of all, Caterina. I could stay here forever, drinking her wine, eating her food, and she'll never even ask me to leave. She'll just say 'I'm free to do as I wish' like it's a fucking afterthought."

Because Illario enjoys basking in adoration, can even thrive on hatred, but what he cannot weather is indifference. He's sure Caterina knows this. He tries again. "I want you to come with us."

Illario just stares at him for a long time. When he finally glances away, it's to take a sip of his wine, hand shaking a little as he brings it to his lips, spilling priceless vintage on the upholstery. "And how does your Rook feel about that?"

"She just asked if it was what you wanted," Lucanis replies. "I think we've both had quite enough of doing others' bidding, don't you think?"

"Break our chains. Kill. Escape our prison. And live," Spite says, words to a deal he'd agreed to well over a year ago.

"Sometimes you say things and I don't know whether it's you or the demon talking," Illario says. The words aren't sharp, aren't a knife held out to wound.

"Me either." What he doesn't say is that he's pretty sure he and Spite have always been more aligned in their wants than he's ever been willing to admit. That maybe if he listened a bit more to Spite, it wouldn't have taken him quite so long to arrive here.

"When do you leave?" Illario asks.

"As soon as we've said our goodbyes, and I've arranged regular shipments from Café Pietra," Lucanis says.

Illario sighs. "You always did have your priorities."

"Just…think about it?" Lucanis says. "And maybe eat something."

Lucanis is already walking through the door when he hears Illario craning around his chair. "I'll come."

He glances back, something in his chest loosening. "Good."

***

When Camina next sees Mariana, she looks much better than she had in the Cantori dungeon. She's in fresh clothing for one, her wounds tended to by a healer. She's currently circulating the lush sitting room, dark eyes roving hungrily over every priceless piece of furniture and artwork and occasionally letting out a low whistle. Caterina sits at the nearby writing desk, her quill scratching along a piece of parchment, eyes narrowing every time Mariana makes a sound.

"You're going to need to start acting like you belong in a room like this before the other Talons get here," Caterina says with the faintest hint of annoyance.

"I don't think anyone should act like they belong in a room like this," Mariana replies, a hand trailing over a Crow mask that sits in state on the table.

Camina doesn't quite disagree, but she has seen certain tombs in the Necropolis that look almost as opulent as this villa, so she's not sure she's one to really talk. She follows Lucanis deeper into the sitting room.

"We're all packed," he says.

So far, Lucanis has completely ignored Mariana, but at their arrival, the assassin looks thrilled to have something to look at or talk to that isn't Caterina. "You really are leaving."

Before Camina or Lucanis can respond, Caterina stands her cane clicking against the marble floor. "Yes. My grandson and Rook are going to look for a cure for his condition. I expect it will take them out of Treviso for some time."

As far as cover stories go, she's heard worse. She can tell that Lucanis doesn't like the dishonesty, though. "Probably a long time," Camina agrees.

Long enough, perhaps, that people will forget about the First Talon who was an abomination. That he will fade into fable and lore, and maybe he'll get to return under the cover of night, get to be in his city, safe in anonymity. There was a time when she believed she'd never return to the Necropolis, too, and things have certainly changed since then.

"Something like that," Lucanis mutters as Teia and Viago enter the room.

Camina can't remember a time since the evening when Caterina was attacked in the Diamond that she's seen Teia this worked up. She glares in Lucanis's direction even as she greets Caterina with a kiss on each cheek.

"I cannot believe you," Teia says. "All that work, setting up the party and everything, and you're just going to leave? To stop being Talon?"

Viago puts a hand on Teia's shoulder. "Perhaps this is not the time. Certainly not in mixed company," he says, looking pointedly at Mariana.

Mariana grins. "Oh, don't hold back on my account. I'm fascinated by whatever you've all got going on here. I thought Talons all hated each other."

"Depends on the day," Teia replies, brushing Viago's hand off her shoulder. "How did you enjoy your stay at the Diamond?"

Mariana sinks down into one of the plush chairs and jauntily crosses one leg over the other. "It was truly lovely. Unfortunately, there are fewer bars on the windows here, but I'll find a way to survive my new accommodations."

Caterina taps her cane against the floor. "Are we quite done with the posturing? I didn't invite us here to insult one another, it's to figure out how we're moving forward."

Viago looks distinctly unthrilled at the idea, but Teia does give Caterina a nod and a muttered apology. Caterina takes her seat in the biggest chair facing the room. Lucanis seems a little lost. She can see how it confuses him, the aloofness. Caterina sits like a queen upon her throne, overseeing her court of Crows, as though his leaving doesn't matter, doesn't change a thing for her. She wonders if this is how it's always been, handing him a contract and letting him go without so much as a goodbye. Lucanis has thrown off the shackles of his life, of her title, her expectations, and there should be something that happens, some words passed between them…but instead, there is nothing. She remembers being in his mind prison, the emptiness between the spaces, the way he was just waiting behind a door…locking himself away to keep everyone else safe. She wonders about everything this family leaves unsaid, everything they keep away from one another, what it's cost them.

Caterina gets her power, her view of the kingdom. But in return, she only has an empty villa.

Lucanis glances between the members of the group. "I suppose that's our cue to leave."

"I know how to reach you," Caterina says, as if he's stepping out for the evening instead of leaving Treviso for who knows how long.

Teia sighs, stepping up forward to hug them goodbye, even if there's an undercurrent of frustration through it. "Vi and I will be in touch," she says. It sounds more like a threat.

Surprisingly, Viago steps near, offering a rare smile. "Don't mind her, when she's not mad you're leaving, she's happy for you."

Camina appreciates the clarification, feels as though some of the distance between her and Viago has somehow thawed since Minrathous. "Good luck with all of this."

"You're the one taking an extra Crow with you. Good luck with that," Viago replies.

She watches Lucanis approach his grandmother. Perhaps to anyone else, it wouldn't be seen as tentative, but she knows him, knows the way he holds himself when he is confident, and in this, he is not. Caterina allows it, her expression giving nothing away. She pats him on the shoulder as he pulls away, but says nothing else about it. When he turns away, Caterina meets her gaze, not looking surprised in the least that Camina was watching the whole exchange. For a moment, it feels like something like understanding passes between them, some acknowledgment, but then it is gone, and Caterina is as she always was.

They close the doors to the sitting room as they leave, and both of them take a deep breath. "Harder or easier than you thought?" she whispers.

He laces his hand with hers. "Both."

She squeezes his hand in reply.

Illario is waiting for them in the foyer. He leans casually against the wall, toying with the sleeve of his shirt. If Lucanis hadn't told her that he'd found him stupid drunk in his rooms a few hours before, she'd never have known by the way he carries himself now. "Are you ready?" she asks.

"I'm still not sure I actually believe that you reside in the Fade, and that 'a room will appear' for me in this Lighthouse of yours," Illario says sardonically.

"And if one doesn't appear, you can always take my old room: the pantry," Lucanis replies with a smile.

Illario looks momentarily horrified. "Rook, you let my cousin sleep in the pantry?"

She picks up her bags, already following Lucanis and Illario out of the villa and into the warm Treviso evening. "I distinctly remember insisting he couldn't sleep in the pantry either and being told it was a 'quiet, unassuming spot with good choke points'."

Illario shrugs. "Can't understate the importance of good choke points, I suppose. And walls you can put swords through, but that's more Lucanis's style." The words are light, but there's an undercurrent of barely reigned-in anger beneath them; she can tell that while Illario is pretending things are fine enough, they certainly aren't.

"People put too much faith in walls," Lucanis replies without turning.

It continues like that all the way to the Lighthouse, though Illario does grow quiet as they traverse the Crossroads. She can't blame him; she's only been away a week, but she's forgotten how beautiful it is here, how incredible it is to see people and merchant carts and refugees traversing the roads, the Veil Jumpers nodding as they patrol the paths. Illario looks none too thrilled to be getting into a floating boat with the Caretaker, but he does climb aboard anyway. And before long, they're stepping through the Vi'Revas and into the Lighthouse.

"This is it?" Illario asks, looking back at the great mirror they've just stepped through.

"Yep. It'll connect to any eluvian in the network we know about. Probably some we don't, too, but that's more Bellara's specialty. Untraceable except by anyone who lives here. So, whenever you're ready, we'll get you anywhere you want to go," Camina explains.

Illario raises a brow at her in disbelief. "Anywhere I want to go?"

"I might dissuade you from certain areas of Ferelden because word is it's still pretty rough, but yeah. Anywhere, anytime. You can stay here as long as you want," Camina says. Then she considers how he will be met by their friends who still reside here. "I'm sorry in advance about Taash."

She's surprised by how much she means every word. By bringing Illario here, they're granting him a second chance, and she's curious what he'll do with it.

"Which one is Taash again?" Illario asks, glancing at Lucanis.

Lucanis grins. "Oh, you'll know."

The library is empty when they crest the stairs, but there is a sense of homecoming about it anyway. The familiarity seems to seep right into her bones; Camina finds that she can breathe easily for the first time in a week. No more servants, no more unexpected eyes on her at all times. It feels good to be home.

Lucanis reaches for her bags. "I'll take our things upstairs. Why don't you give Illario the tour?"

She hands off her bags and accepts a kiss on the cheek, then turns to Illario, who has watched the whole exchange in poorly concealed fascination. "Come on, then. Let's start in the courtyard."

"I still cannot believe you got my cousin to willingly reside in the Fade. He doesn't trust magic, you know," Illario says as they step outside. His words trail off a little at the end as he takes in the view, the facsimile of daylight, the floating islands.

"Well, sure, but he had been living in an underwater prison for a year, and we promised him he could go grocery shopping for us," she replies. The comment is flippant, tipped out with a little more sarcasm than strictly necessary. She'll never forget those first few days Lucanis was here, the way he moved through the place like a ghost, desperate to stay awake. She simultaneously wants Illario to understand how bad it was and conceal it from him completely, as though knowing Lucanis was ever that vulnerable isn't something he deserves to know. "Anyway, that's Bellara's workshop over there, and Neve's office, though she's rarely here these days…"

Illario has paused in the courtyard; he's staring off in the distance towards the endless expanse of the Fade. "How did you do it?" Illario asks, suddenly serious.

She's missed something. "Do what?"

Illario shakes his head, strides away from her. "Get him to tell Caterina 'no' for once in his life? How did you do it?"

Camina stares after him. "Is this what you're angry about? Why Lucanis found you drinking alone in your room?"

Illario glares at her. "How did you do it?" The words are punctuated with anger, with hurt, with betrayal.

She still doesn't understand. "I didn't do anything. He did. It was his choice."

Illario shakes his head and takes a step toward her. "No. Because I have been begging him to stand up to her for years. For our whole lives! And what did I get for it? Watching him waste away, contract after contract. Burying pieces of himself along the way. But he never did anything about it. Not until you."

"Illario-"

"What makes you so fucking special?"

And there it is, the crux of it all. She sees now what Illario sees: that Lucanis would stand up to Caterina for her but not for him. As if it were a competition, as if it had nothing to do with how much growth and healing Lucanis has painstakingly done since leaving the Ossuary. But of course, it would be a competition, that's all Illario's life has ever been, compared and measured against Lucanis at every turn. She cannot imagine that Caterina was any warmer to the boys when they were younger. And even this…this lashing out at her instead of at Lucanis…clearly, he and Lucanis didn't talk. Not really.

Despite Illario's question, this conversation isn't about her. Not really. It's just a lot easier to take aim at her than Lucanis. There's plenty she could say, many arguments they could have, but she decides to dive right into the heart of the matter.

"Lucanis loves you so much. Did you know he told me that before this team, you were his only friend? You sold him out to the Venatori, saddled him with a demon, and made him believe your grandmother was dead. And guess what? He still loves you."

"If that were true, he would have given me a quick knife and spared me the humiliation of these last months."

Maker, Crows are going to be the death of her. "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe he didn't want you dead? That you and Caterina are the last bit of family he has left, and that he cannot conceive a world without you in it? You don't deserve his forgiveness, and neither does she, but he gives it anyway. What is that but love?"

Illario just stares at her.

"And what's more is that you love him too. I've watched it. You lied to me about why you were in Minrathous to conceal it…but you came because you knew he was there to kill a god and you had to be there…had to be close enough to know if he was alright. And then last night…the moment you thought he was in danger, your first thought was to get to him. You practically dragged me across the Diamond to make sure he was okay. You've been lying and scheming since the moment I met you, but even this conversation betrays just how much you care."

For just a single moment, she thinks she might have broken through, that there's a crack in his mask. But when he next speaks, it's gone. "Do you always say exactly what comes into your head?"

She's saved from answering by the appearance of Taash leaving the dining hall, Assan trotting in their wake. They glance between her and Illario in surprise.

"What the fuck's he's doing here?" They say in lieu of a greeting.

Illario smooths imaginary wrinkles from his shirt and turns to them. "Taash, I presume? I don't think we've been properly introduced."

Camina suppresses a sigh. "Illario is going to be staying with us for a bit."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me. This is the cousin who tried to kill you guys, right?"

"And failed," Illario smiles winningly.

"Lucanis invited him."

Taash crosses their arms and gives Illario an unimpressed once-over. "You try any dumb shit, and I've got an axe with your name on it. Also, I can breathe fire, so I don't need it to fuck you up."

To his credit, Illario looks amused but doesn't goad them. "Very much noted."

Clearly, having heard the commotion in the courtyard, Davrin and Bellara also emerge from the dining hall.

Bellara chews her bottom lip. "Uh…is that Illario? What's Illario doing here?"

Davrin just sighs. "What the hell, Rook?"

Camina takes a deep breath; this is why Lucanis had offered to take their bags, wasn't it?

***

Lucanis keeps waiting to feel different, to feel as though something in him has fundamentally shifted. The Lighthouse is just as he left it, comfortable and familiar. Filled with the people he loves, and Illario now too. Beyond the initial lifting of the weight when Caterina had told him he was free to go, he feels no different from before. He slips instead into the familiar patterns of this place. He cooks dinner with Bellara and listens to her tell him all about the discoveries she's been making with the Veil Jumpers in the Crossroads, the eluvian she's sure she's almost fixed, and all of the new recipes she's tried in his absence. He tells her about the Crow party, the ambush dance, because he knows she'll find it fascinating, and only briefly touches on the fact that he's no longer First Talon.

It's the first time he's said it out loud, the first time he's explained it to anyone. There's something of the unreality of it, mixed a little with relief and embarrassment. He didn't want it in the first place, and he's glad it's not his responsibility anymore…but it also feels like a failing on his part. He cannot forget the image of Caterina staring off while still at the table…how dismissive she was upon their leaving Treviso. He can't decide if her ambivalence makes it easier or harder…mostly it just makes it feel all the more surreal.

He doesn't admit as much to Bellara, she'd certainly understand, but he's not sure he's untangled the knot of his own emotions to put words to them yet.

When they finally serve dinner, it really does feel like coming home. The group gathers at the table, taking up their usual seats. Lucanis notices Illario hangs back a moment before Camina gestures to Neve's empty spot.

The table is largely quiet until Davrin speaks up. "So, let me get this straight, the Crows are just…letting the two of you walk away? I thought that wasn't really allowed."

"The official story is that I'm taking a leave of absence to cure my possession," Lucanis replies.

Illario helps himself to some potatoes. "And no one gives a shit what I do."

"But you and Spite…you're fine though. You're not really getting rid of him, right?" Bellara asks.

"Spite isn't going anywhere," Spite replies firmly. Spite hadn't been very onboard with the deception, but Lucanis is pretty sure he understands the necessity of it. For better or worse, he and Spite are linked together forever. A year ago, that would have made him feel nothing but despair, but now, it's hard to imagine his life without Spite in it.

"Definitely not. He's…part of me now," Lucanis replies. Spite nods in agreement.

"So you're just hoping the Crows forget about you when you don't go back?" Davrin asks.

"I think that the hope is that the Crows look very different by the time anyone misses us," Camina answers.

There are more questions then about Mariana, about Caterina joining with her, about what they think the Talons will do going forward. Lucanis lets it mostly wash over him, hand finding Camina's under the table. She gives his fingers a soft squeeze, an acknowledgement, a promise. Eventually, the conversation shifts, ebbs and flows, and crosses over each other. Davrin and Taash are telling them about how work has been in the Crossroads while Illario has managed to get Bellara on the topic of eluvians, and she's chattering away, words leaving her in rushed excitement.

Camina and Davrin clean up and do the dishes, and Lucanis makes some coffee just the way he likes it. Illario hovers in the dining room, seemingly unsure what to do with himself as the others filter out, as Camina presses a kiss to Lucanis's cheek and heads for their room.

"Quite the…uh…group you have here," Illario says, accepting a mug of coffee.

Lucanis chuckles. "They are certainly not Crows."

"They certainly aren't. I can see why you wanted to stay."

"Before them, the only person I ever really worked with was you. The only person I ever really trusted at my back…was you," Lucanis says, the words are quiet.

"And look where that got you," Illario replies, mouth twisting the words into something more bitter than the coffee.

There's a lot he wants to say, but he can't quite find the words. "Have you given any thought to where you want to go?"

Illario shrugs. "A city, that's obvious. There were a few in Tevinter that weren't so bad. Orlais wouldn't be my first choice, but it would be quite the change, I suppose. Dairsmuid would be nice, but might be too close to Antiva…hard to say. What about you?"

"We're here for six more months at least," Lucanis says. "Camina made a promise to the Veil Jumpers. After that? Probably Nevarra, but we still need to talk about it. Before…we'd talked of splitting our time between the Necropolis and Treviso."

Illario laughs. "I'm trying to imagine you living in the Necropolis."

"We might have to compromise and get a place in Nevarra City," Lucanis admits. "The magic there is strange, but despite Camina's joking, it's not all corpses and tombs. We'll figure it out."

"Using 'we' and everything. It's still strange. You never once showed any interest in anyone before."

It's occasionally puzzling to him, too. "Well, I hadn't met her."

Illario nods, and they quietly continue drinking their coffee. The silence isn't awkward, and if it weren't for the location, it might be easy to pretend that this moment was cut right out of a time before. And it's nice to think that Illario will be here, in the same place that Lucanis has found so much healing and support and love. Out of Treviso, away from the Crows, he'll get that same chance.

Eventually, they make their way back towards the library. Strangely, no room appeared for Illario, so he's staying in the infrequently used infirmary for the duration of his stay. Lucanis had expected him to complain about it more, but he'd been seemingly unbothered by the lack of five-star amenities.

"I think we're back working the Crossroads tomorrow," Lucanis says as they pause on the landing. "You're welcome to come with us if you want."

Illario seems to consider that. "I think I'll pass…this is all….a lot."

That's fair. "Take whatever time you need."

Illario nods. "You didn't have to do this…but you did…I-"

Lucanis waves it away. "We're still family."

Illario's answering smile is rueful. "Of course." And then he disappears into his room.

When Lucanis enters the room he shares with Camina, he is unsurprised to see her in bed, reading. She looks more at ease than she has in days; whatever weight she was carrying in Treviso seems to have lifted. She glances up from her book as he approaches, and he joins her on the bed, knocking the book away as he crawls over her.

"Hi," she grins, kissing him.

He tucks his head under her chin, settling his weight on top of her. He can feel the laughter move through her. "Don't stop reading on my account," he murmurs as he gets comfortable.

"How's Illario?" she asks.

"Fine. A little overwhelmed, maybe?"

She cards her fingers through his hair. "Our friends can certainly be overwhelming. It's a lot of change at once, too. For not just him."

Lucanis nods. "You're not wrong."

"How are you feeling?"

"I don't know," he replies. "Happy. Relieved…but also frustrated. More than a little afraid. But…I did the right thing. For me…for us. I know that. It's just…it doesn't feel exactly how I thought it would…"

He feels her press a kiss to the top of his head. "It was always going to be complicated."

Lucanis lifts his head so he can look at Camina; she watches him with quiet intensity. "I guess this means we have to figure out what comes next for us."

She smiles. "We do, but we've got time."

"And what will we do with all that time?" he asks teasingly.

She leans in, lips a whisper away from his. "Not worry about it tonight."

#lucanis dellamorte #lucanis x rook #rookanis #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age: the veilguard #lucanis x camina #on matters of inertia #slothquisitorwrites

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purrassicjet · 1 year ago

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Brennan was so causal about the fact that Sandra Lynn wasn't on Baxter. Sir what do you mean she wasn't on him. What do you mean her ranger mount didn't have his ranger with him. What do you mean.

#I'm going to be insane about this for the next week #If she's dead I'll cry so hard #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #sandra lynn faeth

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unopenablebox · 4 months ago

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blocking! rate of curvature on this thing is such that i had to overlap the ends to get the lace fully extended

#i'll go in in a few hours and shuffle the stockinette bit around so it hopefully doesn't dry in those specific folds #but i'm not deeply concerned about it #box opener #knitting #meditating on whether i want to do another niebling next. survey says 'probably'#unless i instead dither for weeks about whetehr i am going to make insane bad choices about Wedding Knit #which i shouldn't do.

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h0estar · 4 months ago

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alright, i know being a manga reader makes you... dissatisfied about how certain scenes played out but literally after finishing the recent ep, i understood WHY.

I WAS CLUTCHING MY PEARLS AT 1 IN THE MORNING BC OMFG???????????????????????????

The cute Jinmao interactions in the beginning may not have made the cut but they sure as hell went up and beyond with their cave scenes and i gotta say, those were necessary sacrifices for the greater good 🙏

BECAUSE HELLO?!?!??!!!!!!!!??!

THE WAY JINSHI LOOKS AT HER HAS ME FLOORING MAOMAO IS SO STRONG

(she definitely wasn't tho. i saw the way she gaped at his face. I KNOW YOU MAOMAO!!!!)

and the way jinshi instinctively locked her in place with that delicious waist grab?!? my guy did NAWWTT do all that in the manga but if his slutty outfit and hairstyle in the beginning had to be sacrificed for this, then to hell with them 🔥

ALSO HELLO????????? THE CLOSE UP OF JINSHI GIVING HER A PASSIONATE CPR HAS ME WEAK ON MY KNEES

This can be taken out of context and I'M GLAD IT CAN BC HELL YEAH

the animators had to set their priorities with this ep and I'M GLAD THEY DID. THEY KNEW WHAT WE WANTED AND THEY GAVE ITTTT

I can't wait for the next ep!!!!

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busterbby · 2 months ago

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am I really about to be the first nsfw request on this blog... sorry for being a whore. can you write general ichiro nsfw headcanons pretty please 🙇✨️

lol dw anon. I too am an abolute whore for Ichiro. though who can blame us 😔 but I shall try !! This is my first time ever posting nsfw, so I hope it works!! haven't actually written much nsfw on my own, but I want to get better~ (and also I'm horny lol). but please enjoy!! and lmk how it goes!

— general nsfw hcs.

nsfw. gn!reader. ichiro. 18+ only ; minors do not interact!!

Ichiro . . . is a gentleman, in and out the sheets. a very sweet and attentive sorta lover (though at times a tease)

sorta like candlelight or rose petals on silk sheets. like moonlight that kisses you tenderly. a cute lover through and through; he wants to pleasure you first and foremost

(really though, he's still a dork deep down. still a nineteen year old loser with a huge crush)

he’s definitely a little awkward at first since Ichiro hasn’t had much experience in the past with these sorta things; most — almost all — his knowledge comes from hentai and adult visual novels, Ichiro embarrassingly admits

(and he definitely learns that some of the stuff in porn does not translate well to real life; but it's fun and you guys have a good laugh about it)

his hands seem hesitant when they roam up your shirt — heavy as they are on your skin, gentle yet. his dimples your hips or thighs, sweet; he fumbles a bit with the condom as it slips from his grasp a few times, Ichi a little (a lot) embarrassed; and, Ichiro seems to waver, when he pulls back from a kiss. his warm hands up your shirt, hot breath tickling your lips; and, as much as his eyes say, they still shake uneasy. are you sure?

but he only wants to reassure that you want this as much as him! and- man, trust him. Ichiro wants it very much. He just.. doesn't know; it's your guys' first time after all! and he wouldn't want to make the first move if you weren't entirely ready yet

but he’s a quick learner! there’s definitely more confidence later on, when Ichiro takes off his shirt so swift and smooth, when he shoots you that handsome smile — softness in his gaze

(and he gets cutely proud of himself when you cum like three or four times)

he’s a giver, first and foremost; Ichi is attuned to your needs. it’s just- he loves taking care of the ones he love!! call it his older brother instinct or whatnot. and he’d try to not cum until you do so first

you don't have to go down on him, Ichiro insists. but well, he's not opposed either. he's a little filthy inside, and he hates that he loves the look of you down in between his legs oh so much

very attentive to all your little sweet spots and what makes you cum. though sometimes, he can be a total tease with that too

he’s gentle too!! his little touches are so tender yet hot — never too harsh. especially if you're smaller than him. he could never be too rough (unless you're into that sorta thing)

more of a switch, really; ichiro doesn’t have a particular preference, and he’s more than happy to try out new stuff, especially if it's something that you're excited about (what can he say? he loves to please)

he’s not very loud since Ichi tries to contain himself. Sure, the house is usually empty — that, or Ichi makes extra sure to lock his bedroom door. but he doesn’t think he can ever look his brothers in the eye if they accidentally heard anything

(which is highly unfortunate since he makes the prettiest of sounds

but sometimes, a particularly load moan will slip through, and the flustered look on his face, the red blush to his cheeks, is the sweetest thing. God- did that really just come out of him??)

he does that sappy thing, where Ichi will trace his fingers up your arm and then hold your hand sweetly; he'll give it a little squeeze too, and somehow, it always makes his heart skip a beat each and every time

and he grunts your name underneath his breath during climax. a little raspy, a little rough; he says it with so much love. your name rolls like velvet off his tongue

he never does moan too loud though, but it's just enough for you to hear and make your heart tremble. they’re hushed, like a secret meant only for your ears

always mindful not to leave hickies anywhere too visible! maybe a bit lower on your collarbone, or on your inner thighs, but Ichi would never want to embarrass you or make it too showy. Unless he's feeling a bit more confident that day, of course. perhaps a little jealous too

but, ichi does get a tinge flustered, mostly very dork-ily happy, when he sees the marks on your skin. they're very pretty on you.. ( and hickies look quite good on him too! so make sure to give him lots and lots. they just suit him so )

and he likes to cuddle afterward, always. you’re just so warm in his arms, within these sheets. and it almost feels like your heart beats are entwined, breaths too; that's the romantic in him

#₊˚⊹ 📨 requests #hypmic x reader #gender neutral reader #ichiro yamada x reader #smut #n.sfw #do not want to get shadowbanned lol #this is prob more fluff than hot but. alas.#i am still learning!!#who is ichi if not a complete dork #(excuses)#i've been still trying to adjust to year 2!!#that plus my complete lack of motivation has been making it really difficult to write lately :')#actually let's talk about being expected to work or study mindlessly for the majority of the day. majority of your life #drains the entire creativity out of you.#it drains my soul 😭#i mean. i do love learning this stuff. truly #but being expected to keep up with these lectures they throw at you is fucking insane lmao #all the third and fourth years keep saying that it gets better from third year and i'm inclined to believe them :')#but then again.. i just know residency is going to be the most soul sucking years of my entire life #idk.. i tried to write all throughout last week. but i just had an exam and then they threw me right into lectures and i was just so tired #also this next week's batch of lectures.. do not look v promising LOL #it's just a lot. why is each lecture split into like an additional three to four parts </3 they're so evil for that #could've just made them into their own separate lectures atp so it wouldn't look like we only have 7 lectures this week-#-when we actually have 17 😭

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cassiskurocorner · 3 months ago

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Try not to make Sebastian have heated eye contact with another man challenge (Impossible edition)

#my art #wip #sebastian michaelis #black butler #kuroshitsuji #wolfram gelzer #green witch arc #sebwolf #I have a completed seb@gni piece scheduled to post tomorrow #I ONLY CENSORED IT SO THIS DOESN'T SHOW UP IN THE TAG #I get so mad when things are mistagged but its so insane of me because if I just. click on the tag I won't get “related” type posts.#Anyways in my next art thats posting tomorrow I talk a bit about how I'm hoping to release art every Wednesday until this season ends #and this is one of the future pieces.#my only problem is I'm being so fucking ambitious with this bad boy. It's gonna be animated. there's going to be cherry blossoms-#there's going to be multiple camera angles. Ciel and Sulli are going to be in a TREE #I don't know how she got up there ngl. she's resourceful or smth.#I don't know why I have the audacity to attempt animation in a little over a week when the seb@gni demon sleeping art took me-#6 hours of TRACKED TIME. Meaning the time I had that open and was working on it.#I'm such a slow artist but I don't have classes this semester because I;m an idiot. So I decided to make this challenge for myself to keep-#me busy. So I stop spiraling so hard.#You guys are like my diary btw. my brother can only hear so much about my insane ramblings before he checks out of the picture.#Actually. I'm not done talking about this piece. This one is really special to me because it's based off of my memories with my parents.#I won't go too much into it since I've already written at least an essay but they moved out of our old house when I went off to college-#during covid. and now we don't have a cherry blossom tree and I really miss it. I have so many memories of it.#God. the cherry blossoms. the rose bushes by the fence. the peonies on the right side. the lilacs on the left. the lavender bush-#my mom ran over with a lawnmower and somehow made it grow way better.#the bridal wreath lining the front. god I miss that place.#now some bachelor lives there and has not taken care of the garden at all One day I know I will drive by to see he will have ripped it allu #OKAY NOW IM REALLY DONE #Yapping

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doriansredroses · 5 months ago

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I ACQUIRED THE SCRIPT TODAY!!!!!

#amadeus 1984 #wolfgang amadeus mozart #antonio salieri #peter shaffer #amadeus #I've been giggling nonstop all day today #this hyperfixation has me going insane #I couldn’t even keep a straight face while having it pulled off the hold shelf #God this is going to send me spiraling for weeks #What’s worse is that I’m reading Mozart’s Magic Flute in one of my classes #that’s supposed to be next week #and then there’s a Mozart biography I’m dying to read #sadly there’s not much for Salieri at the library #willow rambles #I'm still freaking out about this

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fearandhatred · 1 year ago

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C by fearandhatred (6k words, 1/1 chapters)

Crowley's time with Jesus dredges up an old wooden box of memories 3000 years past—a flood, a reckoning, and lives lost. And in the box are two other things, one of which is a braided lock of her own hair, straw-like from dried-up rainwater, and hacked off violently and unevenly at the edges.

*don cheadle voice* boom, you looking for this?

it is finally here... the mesopotamia–golgotha fic! this is intended as a sequel to my golgotha fic, via dolorosa. also if you see the very tiny stitches of colour on his clothes and on the C in this drawing... they're surprise tools that will help us later :)

please go check out the wonderful art my beloved @knifeforkspooncup made for me!! i have probably racked up five hours of screen time just looking at it if we're being honest here. thank you loml <3

also this idea came my way because of this post and the lovely (life ruining) additions by @idliketobeatree and @eybefioro. this fic is for u two <3 (i also eventually realised that my original post was factually incorrect but hey it birthed this fic so! happy accidents!)

#fearandhatred #fearandfics #fearandart #i have no idea if this fic is sad or not but whenever i write something i imagine i'm experiencing it #so it was definitely sad for ME!#anyway i need y'all not to talk to me for the next 5 working days because ao3 gave me HELL with the superscript formatting i'm TIREDDDD #literally leave me alone that pissed me off so bad LMAO #btw i think about “boom you looking for this?” SO often y'all don't understand i have the urge to say it like once a week #but i can never quote it because no one ever gets what i'm referencing so i just sound insane #anyway i had fun writing this fic. and i also didn't because it made me sad. i can't win all the time #ok i'm going to sleep #here come the tags!#good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens fic #good omens fic rec #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #good omens fanart

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girlwiththegreenhat · 11 months ago

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hey when they wrote "knight behind bars" and they wrote kitt helping a couple get together and they gave him the line "Some day, it will be my turn" [to find love]. did they know what they were doing. did they know that in some 40 years some gay autistic robot-obsessed little freak on tumblr would not stop thinking about it for weeks and write literal dozens of paragraphs screaming about it on discord. did they know they were going to ruin Me, Specifically, with this concept that feels like the culmination of everything kitt has gone through through the show and such a fascinating thing to think about in regards to michael and kitt's relationship,

one of the themes of knight rider is kitt developing as a Person, developing a line between the Knight Industries Two-Thousand, and Kitt. discovering humanity, his own emotions, the joys of the seemingly and logically pointless, and often through the lens of his own driver, his partner, his friend, Michael - his primary guide through all these experiences, his reference for those human things he doesn't understand. and as much as he initially claims to not be capable of experiencing emotions, of understanding feelings, he learns to. he experiences a wide range of emotions through the show even while claiming he doesn't, he even learns fear and insecurity. perhaps it's only natural a robot would learn to love, or at the very least be terribly curious about it and wonder if such a thing could ever exist for Him

the majority of people are not exactly kind to kitt. they talk about him like he's not there, they talk about him like he's a machine, a novelty, some people are even scared of or disturbed by him when all he's trying to do is make polite conversation and company. he's always Othered - there's no other cars like him (at least not anymore), but there's no other person like him either, he doesn't truly belong among humans or vehicles. some of the technicians at FLAG don't even seem to fully respect him as a person, at least they don't based on my vague recollection of how they talk about him in Junkyard Dog. when Michael asks him after KARR is destroyed if it feels good to be one of a kind again, he doesn't say yes or no - he only says it's a "familiar feeling." it may be familiar, but it's surely also isolating, and i think that's something he'd realize as he slowly picks up this curiosity about love. where could he even find it when so few people see him as an equal person to begin with?

and then there's michael. oh my god, and then there's michael. no matter what flavor you choose to read it in, the whole show is about their relationship, they're a duo, a set Not to be separated, they're Partners. they work together, they worry about and look after each other (forever insane about when kitt was a melted shell, Michael stuck around the garage for hours, waiting for any news like a worried spouse, constantly checking on him every opportunity he got... encouraging him to recover, and even helping paint back on his protective coating... kitt always looks after michael, but for once, it's michael's turn to look after Him), in a way they were Made for each other - Kitt more literally, being programmed for Michael and holding his namesake, but Michael was also made in a sense for the pilot program, hand picked and given a second life to work for the foundation and with this strange supercar. and even if they had a rocky start, michael comes to view kitt as a person - car, TV set, or computer core, Kitt is his partner, his buddy. he helps him find himself, guides him and teaches him about these things that make us human, and in a way, kitt becomes human - but his entire experience is still through the perspective of an AI in a car, it's still very unique and isolating, and I think he sort of grows into his own limitations, he's finally brushing against the walls that define him.

he learns of love, and then he learns to dream Of love. these things he sees in the movies, that michael tells him about, that he so often sees michael Partaking in that he gets so oddly jealous of, doesn't it all seem so wonderful? he's very curious. but who could ever love steel and circuitry, who could ever see him as an equal let alone a partner in a romantic sense? who would ever love a car and all the limitations That comes with? it's a problem for a hypothetical hopeful Some Day, in the meantime stuck between two worlds where he doesn't perfectly belong to either, where no car Can love him and no human seemingly Would love him...

and michael loves him anyway. before either of them really realize or talk about it, in spite of everything, in any form, regardless of the fact it wouldn't be a typical relationship by absolutely any means, michael loves him anyway. kitt is as much a person to him as bonnie or devon or RC, and that person is someone he loves and cares for deeply. the feeling is mutual, kitt's world revolves around michael, he's one of the most important people in kitt's life, and he'd do anything to protect him.

and it is michael that will finally teach him to love, and what it means to feel loved in turn, to be loved as the person he undoubtedly is.

#liz blogs #kr #knight rider #michael knight #kitt #robots #gay #this isnt writing. its rambling. its very insane rambling.#WHAT is the ship tag. i dont even know. fuck it we ball #michael x kitt #sure #knight rider spoilers #i saw someone make up a really good one but i cant remember what it was-- oh my god was it MK2000. was it. was that iT-#mk2000 #retroactively gonna go tag all the fruity posts with that i dont care #do not even get me started on michael learning to love for the first time in This lifetime. ... literally dont get me started i havent seen #the last stevie episode yet. thats next weeks crying fit. but i feel like that's a piece i need #but stevie was michael Long's girl. part of His life. michael Knight can't go back to that. and maybe he Shouldn't #listen. its about michael teaching kitt to love. and kitt Letting him learn to love Again. something real besides his weekend flings #i need a lobotomyyyyyyy i need an ice pick to the brain i need to stop being completely fucking insane about robots #IF BEING INSANE ABOUT FICTIONAL ROBOTS WAS A JOB I WOULD BE A MILLIONAIRE #anyway michael is bisexual and a dashboard smoocher thanks for coming to my ted talk #homosexuality is rampant in the military jerry. thats a bisexual if ever i saw one. have you seen the way he dresses. he calls his car baby #if you dont watch knight rider and you read this i'm sorry i must look deranged #this ship is queer flavored even besides the fact its two guys. there's like four levels of queer flavoring in this bitch

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