#I'm going to be a wreck when [redacted]

[eves-da-best]

I am absolutely ON MY KNEES FOR HER - EVE, HOW?!

[seeingivy]

method acting asks!!!

first of all, thank you anon!!! you're so so kind - i'm so excited you're here in my little universe with me. I THINK I ACTUALLY SAID THIS TO SOMEONE BEFORE about francesca and work song by hozier

I think hozier has really raw and love songs that depict a very sheer devotion, which is something I think eren as a character generally possesses - which is why I think the hozier comparison is spot on. he would go through hell to hold her again, no grave will hold him down he WILL crawl back home to her

first things first, I LOVE YOU!!!!! y/n healing era makes my heart warm AND I totally agree regarding venice bitch. speaking of norman fucking rockwell (MY FAVORITE LANA ALBUM), i also think that she would write the song normal fucking rockwell about eren (back in the day, obv)

@itzmeme always spot on. chefs kiss songs from you, always.

ARGGGGGG ANON I COULD YAP FOR DAYS. I imagine edits about them are basically like the edits that people make about taylor/joe and joshua/olivia. the one that's been trending recently is the lyrics from wrecking ball that's like "I never meant to start a war, I just wanted you to let me in" lIKE PEOPLE WOULD MAKE THOSE OF THEM SO BAD.

I feel like after the documentary is released, people would also make edits of eren and y/n to that audio that transitions from midnight rain to daylight - the first clips being of like eren/hyla to eren and y/n - and you can visibly see that he's just so much happier with her.

also think that people made cunt edits of y/ns because I liked a boy performance and her look what you made me do. y/n also getting edits of her and clips of her w/ sukuna and eren to maneater like.

I love edits. you are amazing and I love your mind.

LIKE. LIKE ITS A NEED. I also think of them doing silver springs sometimes during their beef era....LIKE YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF A WOMAN THAT LOVES YOU.

@najaemism HI!!!! hi, I love you. second, I leave little hints like people like this that are perceptive about this type of thing (and I have promises to reveal all my hints when the fic is well and over) BUT EEK MY HEART GETS SO WARM WHEN PEOPLE CATCH THEM. I literally think scott street is probably what she felt so bad during that era of the fic, like the nostalgia of losing eren and realizing like all of her childhood memories will be tainted with him now

LMFAOFJDIOSFJIODSF STFU. this is so funny LIKE HE'S SO CORNY HE WOULD

another ask about necklaces BUT REAL. I also think that on their car keys they remake lego figurines of each other so that they're always with each other whenever they aren't 😁

@astroswift HARD ON THE AGREE. i've got a moment on this chapter i've been itching to write since this bitch character got introduced. and my love, you are spot on. champagne problems, is in fact, in the method acting playlist (I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE PICK UP THE CRUMBS MY HEART GETS SO WARM)

@elliesbabygirl do it. I wrote a stupid fic about gojo to speak now by taylor swift and now i'm here. yolo swag.

I WAS AT GUTS TOUR LAST NIGHT. the second she crawled on the fucking moon it was all I could think about. and seeing the grudge live just killed me thinking about the awards show that I started crying (I am in general a concert crier I had already cried at that point but it was crazy) and seeing all american bitch and REDACTED that are involved in the story too EEK I WAS GOING CRAZY she's so hot im in love with her

random last tidbit:

here's some method acting spoilers with no context for the next chapter:

a double whammy of a slap and a punch to the face

what am I to you?

the sister to lady gaga's meat dress

l/n-jaegers

matching tattoos

WHATEVER THAT ALL MEANS!!!

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

ASK GAME ! ASK GAME ! ASK GAME ! which as I chant out loud sounds like I'm saying "ass game" ... same difference honestly sksksksk

Hiii for the violence ask game (love being a hater) I wanted to know 1, 2, 3 and 23 for whatever fandoms you feel the most passionate about

I wouldn't say that I love being a hater, but I do love being right lmao

also I am feeling spicy so these are gonna be for different fandoms

1 - the character everyone gets wrong

JASON. MOTHER FUCKING. TODD

especially the fandom interpretation Titans version, but like damn

(even other canons get him wrong, and Titans did him so right and people refuse to acknowledge it)

(I could also say Lori Grimes, and Andrea Harrison, and Dick Grayson, and Michonne Hawthorne, and even Gar Logan tbh but this is the rant I am picking)

white cis fanboys just see him as the violent revenge perpetrator - distilled rage, 'the bad sibling', the criminal, the cool one, the gunslinger. fucking whatever

but I am not even so big on a lot of women's interpretation of comics Jason - as some big soft cuddle bug who just needs to be treated softly and cuddled uwu, someone who rip out the throat of anyone who looks at you the wrong way and basically acts like a big bad doberman guard dog in your life (someone possessive and angry and jealous in a love life). again - no

Jason is one of the most emotionally complex characters and the only people who truly understand him are me and Curran Walters.

Jason is a wreck. he was set up to fail - his backstory of poverty and sadness isn't just about giving him some revenge to seek or making him a more conventional criminal, it's his emotional core. everything that has ever happened to him in his life makes him who he is, and so many people don't understand those layers. (so many people don't even acknowledge the differences between him and Dick before Jason became Red Hood). Jason is depressed, he's insecure, he thinks that he's nothing but a problem in other people's lives.

he uses violence as a tool because it's all he's ever known. in a relationship, he would be difficult to connect with because no one has ever truly tried before. he wouldn't be instantly loving - he would be guarded as hell.

I could go on a long time, but anyway - Titans Jason is largely a thing that the show got right and so many people refuse to acknowledge it because they just want to mock Curran's looks and it makes me want to bash my head into things

2 - a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I have to do it to em - Spencer Reid would never be a fucking dom. NEVER

(also I know that bottom and top aren't synonyms for dom and sub but I think this ask game was created with mostly mlm ships in mind, so I am talking about this in a dom/sub context because I mostly write and consume x reader fics with bdsm dynamics)

Spencer is a sub. anybody who says that he is a dom, even a 'soft dom' is fucking lying to themselves because they have a particular fantasy that they want him to fit into. even later seasons Spencer would never be a dom

just because someone has rage and acts intimidating towards someone they consider an enemy doesn't mean they would ever feel the confidence to actually be dominant and in charge in bed. that man is walked like a dog constantly by other people in his life, and the only time he 'takes control' of a 'romantic' interaction is when he is with Cat - someone he also considers to be an enemy, an unsub that he can psychologically control. see the pattern?

3 - screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I have discussed this before, and I wish I had a screenshot because without proof it almost doesn't seem real

someone saying that Spencer loves Henry more than JJ does - in a massive post where they listed all the reasons that JJ 'ruined' Spencer's life (which just gobsmacked me)

that post was a huge inspiration for the JJ/Spencer friendship scenes in [REDACTED]

I just cannot believe that the fandom is so fucking detached and unrealistic about JJ

23 - ship you've unwillingly come around to

...Richonne

this is in large part from what I have seen about The Ones Who Live spin-off, and I recently realized that the title of the spin-off comes from a scene where Michonne punches Rick in the head in order to literally knock some sense into him, so I fucking love that (and it seems like that's what the whole show is - her literally forcing sense into him after he's become detached from reality due to being held hostage by whatever the fuck that group's name is)

and I think The Thrifty Typewriter really put their relationship into terms that I was struggling with. so many Walking Dead ladies were relegated to nothing but being 'the love interest' once they became a love interest to someone. and if they were struggling with what to do with a female character, they turned her into a love interest for someone

Andrea being paired with a Governor, Rosita not getting more interesting storylines until after she parted from Abraham, Sasha being with Bob and then Abraham and then dying (although I think Sasha has a lot of interesting emotional beats, I see the point in saying that), Jessie (who could have had so much potential outside of just being a love interest for Rick, especially when they clearly had Richonne in mind), Lori's entire existence, etc.

So my huge problem with Richonne is that Michonne was so interesting before she got with Rick. And after she got with Rick, she lost all of her interesting traits, and she was stripped down to 'Lori 2.0'. Pregnant housewife character who stays at home and almost never fights. Rick was spotlighted and she was almost never around until Rick drowned. And I think I loved The Ones Who Live because it gave her back a lot of her fire and her autonomy as well as adding more to the romance, so it was the best of both worlds. (And it really made me come around to the pairing.)

And another huge problem I had with Richonne is the same problem I have with Dickkory - people who ship them act like the entire show was created to drive the ship. And the shippers get really annoying because they act like all the other interesting characters and plot lines do not exist. They act like the producers and writers made the show as a vessel to carry the single ship when that is clearly not the case.

For Dickkory, people boil Dick and Rachel's entire relationship down to 'omg, she is Dickkory's child' - which is very annoying. And for Richhone, people act like Andrea just does not exist, when she pulled Michonne out of a very dark place - Rick did not do that. Michonne said so herself. Andrea is a very important character in Michonne's story.

Anyway - I do like Richonne a lot now. More than I ever expected I would

[wishlikes]

holy shit. looks at you with my massive autistic eyes. what’s bad future time traveler ritsu PLEASE share with the class. and if you don’t want to share with the class that is ok but also please if you are so inclined then at least share with the me

Well. You see.

It all started when I was running low on time to finish Whumptober prompts and... well, I had just come from the rottmnt fandom. I had 'character time travels from a bad future' on the mind. So I drew this and thought 'surely no more will come of this'.

And yet the concept stayed in my mind. I drew this sketch page several months later. Someone's tag on it inspired me to actually write the story, as explained here (along with more info, though I'm going to change some things from what's written here).

There's also these two drawings that take place in the bad future, although I didn't draw Ritsu old enough in the second one, because I hadn't figured out the timeline yet when I drew it. (warnings for blood and injury on both of them)

I've figured out the timeline of the bad future now, though. And I am cursed with the knowledge that the very little I'd already written needs to be rewritten to suit it. This writing/rewriting will not be happening until I am done with my current wip (which is almost done... but might need a sequel because i am cursed).

So I myself know very little about what's going to happen in the bad future time travel fic that i had better fucking write because I desperately need to know what happens.

Some Key Events of the Bad Future:

Sep 2015 - [Redacted] is murdered

Nov 2018 - First anti-esper laws drop

Jan 2020 - Shou 'goes missing', his father is 'convinced' to identify several espers- including the one he couldn't beat

Feb 2020 - Shou escapes custody in an incident his father doesn't survive, Shou is labeled a terrorist, Mob is arrested, Shou and Ritsu go into hiding together

Dec 2021 - Shou is killed (among others), Ritsu fakes his own death

Jun 2023 - [Redacted] informs Mob of Ritsu's 'death'. As you can imagine, this is a bit like setting off a bomb. A bomb that can self-heal and keep exploding until the rage burns out, until only despair remains, until there is no longer even the barest sub-conscious thread left of self-preservation. And so the wounds stop healing, and power dies down, and only then can Ritsu come close enough to help, to show that he's still alive. But it's too late, too late. This place, this time is not safe for Ritsu; they would kill him. And Shigeo has not seen him in over three years and he looks so awful now, and Shigeo cannot protect him. He has to send him away, away to somewhere safe. And then Ritsu is gone, safe. And there is nothing left for him here.

Jun 2011 - Future!Ritsu arrives

So. Ah. I got a bit carried away there. I wouldn't normally include that much, but Future Ritsu is such an emotionally devastated wreck of a man that I can't bear to write from his pov, so i don't know how much of all that ^ is gonna make it into the fic anyway.

What I do know is that Ritsu thinks he's been sent to the past specifically to Fix Everything. And that's the only thing keeping him from just lying down and not getting up again. The knowledge that his brother only wanted to save him would probably make him worse actually.

[moxijunk]

Okay okay first of all I'm never ever going to be able to be normal abt the way you draw TKITN I'm. I'm losing my MIND dude the north au? Oh I have so little idea whats happening but I'm kinda putting it together I think (I have no idea where the au started) but I'm just. Its so cool. Its so fuckin cool. Gnawing on the north au like a chew toy oh my GOD its so cool. Also again your TKITN design is nuts dude.

Oh, what a great segue to talk about the basis of this au (mainly cause there's a LOT of lore and scenes in this that, oml dude, IT'S A LOT TRUST ME, all kinds of things happen, and it gets,,, crazy and I can't explain everything, there is spoilers A LOT OF THEM THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT)

So for an introduction to this madness (I apologize in advance for all the reading):

This is an au based around Tkitn being possessed by an entity called "The North", y'know, the person you see with the glowy yellow eyes. The North is an entity of the North itself and also [REDACTED], and had ended up possessing Legundo because [REDACTED, no spoilers about this scene yet] Whenever you see tkitn with said yellow eyes (I call them "star eyes") that is when he is fully possessed by the North. Even when he's not currently being possessed, tkitn has this entity inside his body at all times. They're stuck stuck together. With that said, they even have a partial possession over tkitn when the North doesn't fully possess him (they can slip their own words out of tkitn's mouth, sometimes making it seem like tkitn said those words, even if he didn't -most of the time, tkitn is aware of the words, sometimes he has no idea what the North said- On the other hand, the North could also prohibit tkitn from saying anything at all, restricting his ability to speak, if they don't want to hear/allow tkitn to say the things he's gonna say. Also, the North can have some control of tkitn's body when they're partially possessing him. (There's some fun scenes with that) Like when tkitn found out about the possession, he wanted to tell his people about it, but the North basically was like "no".)

The entire North is classified as Their Domain

Tkitn's own morals don't fully agree with the North itself

The North sort of has a bit of a bloodlust, along with being a really good fighter. To the ordinary person, it seems like tkitn is absolutely wrecking people in the battlefield, when in reality, tkitn's skill set does not match up with the North's at all. The North has plenty of supernatural abilities, being an entity and all.

(I give credit to @betweenlands for being the one to help me make the next two bullet lists)

1.) List of the North's abilities (there's more than just this, but this is what has been spoiled/leaked to either a group and/or a single person, mostly being friends of mine):

Supernatural speed/strength/resiliency when possessing someone

Can compel other people (that they aren't possessing) to do things no matter how hostile that person may be to them

Can pull the person they're possessing into a sort of dreamscape they have complete control over if/when their host becomes unconscious (this does include when tkitn is asleep)

Able to rummage around their hosts mind, and memories (can fuck up things in tkitn's mind if they really wanted to, fun scenes with this)

Has weather and ice magic abilities (the post with the words "stuck in the permafrost" as a little example) can control the weather in the North

Truesight

Telepathy with tkitn

Surely this counts -> Being able to physically exhausted tkitn's body (as in, as long as they're in possession of tkitn for any amount of time, literally all of time, even, they wouldn't have to eat, or drink, or any of the survival necessities, but when they unpossessed tkitn, tkitn would feel exhausted because of all that time not doing the necessities, like a status thing rather than a physical thing, if that makes sense)

And the rest are [REDACTED]

2.) Characterization lists (from what @betweenlands knows of my au so far, they can put characterization details into words/phrasing better than I can, so I'm using the information that they know of them so far)

The main characters - Tkitn, The North, Grady, Viking (there's also traits for everyone else, but I will not get into it at said time)

TKITN:

outwardly friendly, generally approachable, usually goes with the flow, but has his stubborn moments

Tactically minded, slow to trust people and a little bit paranoid

Not much interested in power, but wants to do right by his people and is a pretty good leader

Cold and intimidating in certain situations/all the other kingdoms kind of fear the north (similar to how they do in the video)

Generally avoids killing people when at all times possible, prefers negotiation (how can you grow your forces when everyone is dead?), decent at combat, but isn't his strong suit

As more time passes, they seemed to have more beef with the North killing people than he does with them possessing him (cause they had time being stuck with one another, so tkitn got used to the whole "possession thing". In the beginning, this was completely different)

rest of the details are [REDACTED]

THE NORTH:

Generally cold and reserved in demeanor, speaks slightly more formally

Stubborn

Grumpy, wants the other kingdoms off their domain, would literally stab someone as a warning

Thinks they know better than everyone, isn't as condescending as they could be, not as subtle as they think they are

Can and will make whatever decision they think is correct without running it by other people first, up to and including murder

Does care about people, but tends to hide the full extent of those emotions

Generally tries to keep their existence a secret at first

rest of the details are [REDACTED]

GRADY:

Knows about the North (the post with "your secret's safe" as a little example)

Has something to do with the North being there in the first place. The exact details of that scene are [REDACTED]

Over time learns to care a lot about both tkitn and the North, wants them both to be alright

Usually pretty boisterous and cheerful, but has his serious moments (especially around the North)

Most of his thoughts and actions are unwillingly (north has a certain type of control over them)

His thoughts don't match his actions (the tnau post with Grady and the white words for example)

rest of the details are [REDACTED]

VIKING:

Knows about the North due to an altercation between the two of them (the post with "your secret's out" as a little example) , thinks Legundo is keeping the North secret on purpose and intentionally lying to the rest of the northerners about his powers, aware the North threatened to kill him (also the two page snippet as a great example)

Seems to have wanted to trust Legundo before finding out about this (as with many Vikings) he seems to have a weird idea of what being "friends" with people entails, still, as far as is known, he was very loyal to Legundo before The Incident

Isn't human, but has been seemingly keeping that fact pretty low-key, is a bit spoopy

Is a shape shifter. Only has one human form, and can shape shift into various different animals willingly. Has tried to shape shift into someone else before, but would just end up looking like a monstrous glob with his inability to shape shift into other people

Very, very observant

Loves to snoop, surprisingly good lair

rest of the details are [REDACTED]

(once again want to thank @betweenlands for letting me use their words/phrasings/speculations for this)

Any questions, comments, concerns, you know where to put them :) I may or may not have missed a few things that I wanted to say/spoil, buts that's alright. It's a good basis anyways.

[river-muse]

First up, thanks so much for the tag! That was such a nice surprise!

Second up, in the spirit of the ask game, wanna maybe talk a bit about "To Break Not Once, But Twice"? The title absolutely piqued my interest 👀

Wish you a good one <3

Ooooo you picked one of the hefty ones to ask about owo The document for this is past 26k words.

Fun fact about "To Break Not Once, But Twice" before I start talking about it: this is actually one of the very first DMC fics I started writing last year before I started making NASNAH! I plan to return to it at some point even if I never post it. I just got caught up with my current works and definitely want to revise a few parts of it in the future before continuing it.

I was partially inspired by a few songs. Most notably this cover of Alice since the song has just a really bittersweet feeling to it overall.

This is gonna be lengthy so I'll hide it under a cut. <3

This fic was a "what if" that took the series back to even before the DMC3 manga, following Vergil as he meets my version of Nero's mother, him leaving, returning by chance, and choosing to stay not out of love but out of something he can't quite name. However it wouldn't last forever because Vergil would be even more desperate to seek protection for his newfound peace and family. That would lead to him still working with Arkham to break the seals so they can raise the Temen-Ni-Gru. When they're broken and Vergil returns to Fortuna to guide them somewhere safe to lie low- he's met with a very familiar and heartbreaking sight of a house on fire and blood covering the path leading up to it. His motivation to raise the Temen-Ni-Gru changes after that night as he's certain that they'd met the same fate as his mother.

I have scenes ranging quite a ways through the timeline for this one, but that's the main gist of where the title for the fic comes from.

I'll share a few excerpts with you, too! These are all heavily unedited and before I got back into the swing of writing after a long break so I can't promise any level of quality. I hope you enjoy them all the same. (I will be redacting the name I use for Nero's mother because I'm still on the fence about sharing it though.)

“Or burned at the stake, based on their beliefs. I’d rather-“ Vergil stifles a yawn “-on my own terms.” “I feel the same.” She says. Then, she’s leaning over in front of Vergil to look him in the eyes. She plucks the cards from his hands “But I think for now it’s time for me to put you to bed, instead. I had no clue that just two cups could get you like this. Come on- up you go.” She grabs Vergil’s arms to guide him up, and Vergil grabs her arms back to keep from swaying as he stands. He snaps up Yamato from where it was resting beside his seat and almost stumbles over. “It’s not right- for a Son of-“ Vergil mumbles without finishing his sentence at all. He allows her to guide him down the hallway to a bed, but won’t let her set the Yamato aside. He holds onto it in his hand and snarls when she tries to pry it from his grasp. “Very well. Sleep with it.” Her gentle tone curbs the knife of desperation that tears through Vergil’s body. She manages to get him out of his coat and pulls a blanket up over his shoulders. Vergil doesn’t know when he falls asleep. Just that the crickets outside and the snoring that starts up behind him is enough to tell him that he’s safe.

-

“It doesn’t have to go down like this, Vergil!” Dante shouts, avoiding a Judgement Cut and stabbing forward with Rebellion. “You know nothing.” Vergil spits “You haven’t lost anything!” “Is that the game we’re gonna play then?” Dante taunts “What’s worth opening the gates to hell for? You trash my shop, wreck the city-“ “They’re dead, Dante!” Vergil’s voice cracks as he raises it, bringing Force Edge off of his back and meeting Dante’s strike in the middle. His eyes are filling up with tears and blurring his vision. It’s too painful. It’s too raw. He transforms because the embrace of his own demonic power is just enough to keep him sane. His wings fan out in an attempt to intimidate. Force Edge comes down with each of his thoughts that emerge through his distorted voice “It’s gone! All of it! My home, my peace, my son, his mother-“ Dante falters at the initial outburst and recovers enough to meet Vergil’s flurry of blows. He braces himself on one knee because Vergil’s fighting style has never been sheer exertion in an attempt to overpower. Then there’s a break in the swings and Dante stabs Rebellion forward through Vergil’s chest- spilling blood over them both. Vergil’s transformation shatters apart in blue embers. He falls and Dante catches him. Vergil coughs up blood while Dante supports him from collapsing entirely. “Whatever you’re thinking- it’s not going to bring them back. Trust me.” Dante’s voice falls quiet as he eases Rebellion out of Vergil’s chest.

-

Vergil may not have noticed in the haze of pain and on the brink of death, but V understands all too well. The child that was harboring Yamato is no doubt of Sparda descent. In Fortuna. If Vergil had truly caused such harm- No. V shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “You okay there, Shakespeare?” Griffon asks, tone concerned for once “You spaced out pretty hard.” “Merely contemplating something that’s of no real concern right now.” V says “Ah, so the kid.” Griffon says, swooping in front of V and landing on a nearby lamp post “You know it’s never too late to send a card and some flowers. Something along the lines of "sorry for taking your arm because I was dying but I’m your old man and want to get to know you ‘cause I thought you were dead." Maybe twenty bucks in the envelope to be safe.” “I doubt that would fix anything.” “Okay, so thirty bucks. Got it. What’s that courier ad we saw a block back-“ “Griffon.” V hisses “Enough.” Shadow leaps down from V’s tattoos and weaves around his legs. He rests a hand on its head. “Go easy on him? I promised I’d stop calling him princess so I’m not treating him like one anymore neither!” Griffon ruffles his feathers “What’s done is done, and we’ve gotta take care of that big bastard that took Yamato with him before he brings hell to Earth!”

Thank you for asking about it! I hope you have a great day!! <3 <3 <3

[isabeljkim]

Hi! First I just want to thank you for putting your work out there. You have one of my favorite writing voices I've read in ages. I was wondering how you go about the process of plotting. I think you do a really good job creating emotionally satisfying setup/payoff and question/answer cycles (the pod-switching in Benthic especially was really satisfying!)- do you usually plan them out before you get to the story proper, or is it more a matter of pantsing it and then going back to plant hints?

hi! thank you so much, this is deeply flattering to hear, and i'm glad you like my stuff! :D

well you see doing a plot is essentially just: :3 ????? ?????? [redacted] [airplane woosh noise] [cartoon cussing] ?? !! [muffled bangs] > story is done.

ok jokes aside, the way i think about plots is that... one way to think about a story is that x amount of the story is about setting up a problem, and setting up the pieces that are part of solving that problem, and y amount of the story is about actually resolving a different problem related to the first problem (which is actually the real problem!), and using the pieces in a novel but satisfying way.

so i usually have about half figured out when i start a story, and the other half is a puzzle box i've given to myself, and through writing i figure out the other half and then go back and weave it in more conclusively. i have the question to begin with, but i usually have to build myself the tools to find the answer.

[under the cut if you want disjointed rambling]

sorry. that's vague. lets do an example.

when i start a story, i usually have the idea of "what the story is about" (the problem and premise) but not necessarily the "resolution to the story" (whether the first problem is actually the issue, and what the solution is).

so for example, bc you brought up Benthic - the orignal idea was that i wanted to do something about spaceship scavengers carving up a generation ship as a whalefall metaphor, and space as an equivalent to the deep ocean. so then the logical next step is that "ok, whats inside?" > and then whalefalls, spaceship wrecks, shipwrecks..... "its got to be a survivor."

so then the story becomes "ok, the generation ship scavengers find a survivor in the generation ship, but this needs to be a problem for them, because otherwise...there's no plot. there needs to be a problem. so ok, culturally, what if you need to kill survivors on the generation ships for [some reason]."

and that creates the problem, which is the ethical dilemma: will the protagonists kill the kid, or will they choose not to kill the kid, or will they find some other way? I don't know what they're going to do! and from there i write the story and build the boat as it is being floated. i add in cryotubes, and i add in the idea of it being a legal issue, and i write seam and mica and figure out their personalities a bit, and i extrapolate out what leads a person to being a scavenger in debt... and then i figure out that the logical past for them is haunted.

and that nails it all together. the story is is ethics, emotion, and scraping the barest bit of humanity you can get on the edge of the world.

so the solution to the problem has to be kind, but grim. because all of the above has created a world where the logical, practical outcome is cruelty. but because this is a story the ending cannot be the logical, practical outcome! the characters must change, or rail against their situation. (this is one of my tenets while writing - i used to be awful at endings, and i ve gotten much better. i think a good ending shifts your understanding of the prior work/uses the pieces given early on in a surprising way)

so then because i've nailed enough elements in place that have extrapolated from my original scenario, the only solution is then: the cryotube swap.

i dont know if any of that makes sense to anyone but me. i honestly just come up with fuckup premise problems and then write half of a story and then think about it in the shower for a few days and then write the rest. (i'm lying that's only like, a third of my stuff that gets written that way)

[thatiranianphantom]

Nancy Drew Rewatch 104: The Haunted Ring

(as always, thank you to my excellent rewatch partner, @middleagedresidentofriverdale)

Oh man this episode is RAW. Someone on this writing staff has lost a parent before, and it shows. It's brutally real.

This is also a character-driven episode in a way that feels completely different from the last one. Ostensibly, very little plot happens, but we unpack some things we've needed to since the pilot.

An incredibly Nick-light episode.

Look, if I start hearing the noises they are, I'm burning the place down, not investigating. Nancy Drew I will never be.

The jumpscares actually work for me in this show. I am a wimp, and they are ridiculously easy to anticipate.

Maybe it's just me, but I like seeing glimpses of Nancy's room. She's portrayed as so tough and guarded and her room is just very...pink and girly. It's an interesting contradiction.

I love the Ruth Bader Ginsburg art on her board though.

This episode really seems to lay out that no matter when you lose a parent, it's devastating. Nancy was 18, and it nearly wrecked her. Even when you're older, the death of a parent is shattering.

Laura Tandy. Another entry in the "I know Ace is dating her but I don't know why and I am not sure if I'm supposed to be rooting for this?"

Oh Ace, sweet baby. Subtle as a train wreck and adorably unable to lie.

"OH WOW! THIS IS RANDOM!"

Eventually babe, Nancy is going to rub off on you and you'll get a TOUCH more subtle.

@middleagedresidentofriverdale excellently pointed out that Tiffany Hudson is the Jason Blossom of Nancy Drew.

Oh thank GOD the American accent is gone, watching the British leak through all the time was so distracting.

"Just because family isn't that important to you" exFUCKINGscuse me?

Redacted not tumblr safe opinions.

EVERYONE LIES TO NANCY.

This scene at Kate's grave...sweetie. You just want to come through the screen and hug this poor girl.

Ace forgives WAY too easily. Beautiful scenery though.

Nancy and the beanie. I get that Kate knit the beanie, but if it's meant to hide the very distinctive hair I....don't think it's working?

Anyway, no Nace interactions in this episode but this was devastating even to me, a person with both parents still alive:

And Ace just looking his best here

To 105!

[anghraine]

The best friend and I played a bunch of Mass Effect 3 over the last few weeks! The things I remember most clearly are Thessia, Leviathan, Sanctuary, Horizon, the Citadel DLC, and the initial return to [redacted].

Long ramble about all of it:

My best friend had me choose the companions for the run to the temple on Thessia, and naturally I chose our beloved Liara and problematic fave Javik. I wasn't glad to see it fall (quite the contrary), but it seemed a bit apropos that the asari leadership's various choices wrt the war came back to bite them. Still, it was really sad, esp since it's the only time we really saw it and Liara was really upset.

...all the more because we brought Javik and he kept interrupting her explanations to be like "all your religious beliefs are gifts we gave to your people's ancestors before they figured out writing." It was a lot for her, but I did feel a touch of annoyance at what seemed a bit of an unspoken assumption that this might happen to other people's homes, but not hers. Very asari, to be sure. And I like it as a subtle aspect of her character—not a criticism of the game there, just a sidenote, I guess.

Kai Leng showing up was just ... /sigh. I don't really get what his deal is beyond being Cerberus and hating Shepard a lot for some unknown reason. Eventually we do see the past!Illusive Man comparing him to Shepard (in a positive way!), so maybe it's something to do with that, idk. He feels pretty underwritten to me compared to the rest of the major cast, who are generally super vivid (I mean, I love background characters like Westmoreland!). So I'm just irritated when he shows up and disrupts interesting things.

The Leviathan DLC was a really good horror episode taken in its own right, but as part of the wider game, I'm not sure. I kind of ... didn't want to know more about the Reapers? The sequence was fantastic (especially down in the bottom of the sea!), yet the less mysterious the Reapers get, the less engaged I am by them. Whatever the hell is going on with Cerberus and the Illusive Man is a lot more compelling to me at this point.

Speaking of whom, Sanctuary was just what the fuck?! from beginning to end. I've always been suspicious of the whispers about it, but I didn't guess that they were transforming refugees into husks to experiment on, you know? Damn. Miranda was not exaggerating about her father's callousness even a little.

Speaking of Miranda, she is probably at the top of my problematic ME characters list, and ... look. Okay. I know the mechanics of the game suggest she's straight. To me she has the most intense bi energy of just about any human in the game. I love (female) Shepard/Liara, a lot, but I just feel like there's a ton of UST between our Shepard and Miranda, all the more by the end of the Citadel DLC. I'll just leave that there.

After that, it was extremely cathartic to wreck the Cerberus base on Horizon with EDI. No gods no masters <3

And then we got to finally kill Kai Leng for good. Asshole. Blahblah, more villain monologues from the younger-looking Illusive Man (/suspicion). I suspect he's in cahoots with Harbinger or something and thinks he's actually the one in control.

Then there was the Citadel DLC, which I've heard a lot of great things about. Early on, I wasn't actually sure I'd like it as much as other people do—self-referential humor and stakes-lowering banter are not to my taste in general, and there were several times in the earlier parts that it didn't quite work for me (not because it was bad, but I just don't like that kind of thing by and large). I did laugh at the "I should go" jokes, though!

We did it with Wrex-Liara and then Garrus-Liara, which felt very apropos to the storyline, since the whole deal with the clone is that she has all of Shepard's technical skills but overlooks the importance of Shepard as team player and friend. And Wrex, Garrus, and Liara specifically go way back with Shepard.

When the clone was going on her villain rants about how she has everything Shepard did, she can do everything Shepard can, I was like "but she can't do everything Liara and Garrus can ... oh. This is about the power of friendship!" And it was, in a really charming way.

I did think Brooks was suspect as hell the whole time, so that was validating.

The clone's obsession with being The Real Shepard and having the grand mystique and galactic stature and all of that did highlight something interesting to me. I'd read an argument that ME1 is actually the best ME game, and one of the reasons in that argument is that ME1 Shepard is ... cool, but not nearly the superstar legend she becomes later on.

And Shepard's super special awesome greatness is hammered in a lot through ME2&3. I'm not sure that's actually worse than being scrappier, in terms of some artistic merit kind of thing, but the DLC is so reliant on Shepard's mystique that it got me thinking again about how easily this could become really annoying.

Like, I've loved many special or chosen male characters, but the idea of male badass Shepard seems just incredibly tedious to me. I'm not sure I could buy into this except with the pretty specific scenario we have of a lesbian Shepard who came up through a hard childhood on the streets of Earth.

Anyway, I absolutely adored the end of the clone arc (Garrus and Liara pulling the real Shepard up ;_;) and then the entire rest of the DLC, except the pull-up thing with James (very tiresome mechanically and he's my least fave of the ME3 squad). Miranda and Jack semi-reconciling was really adorable and I loved all the bizarre inter-character dynamics at the party. Also, Traynor winning against an asari named Polgara made me cackle. And my absolute most hated from ME2, Zaeed, was kind of delightful. Zaeed vs The Claw was just ... jafdkk;jadfjk;a

And Glyph's little bowtie! Incredible all around.

Oh, and the little date with Liara was super sweet. I loved that it stopped where it did, just that image of them embracing. It's great.

It was nice to see them seriously together even later, of course. And we got back to Earth! I was incredibly tired at that point, so my main thought was that the imagery of the united galactic fleet was essentially what The Rise of Skywalker tried and failed to do, but it was fantastic here, especially after everything we've done to get (almost) everyone together. (We did basically tell the salarians to go fuck themselves wrt the genophage.)

London looks suitably dreadful and we'd just gone around and talked to Anderson and then essentially everyone. Pretty much everyone continually brought up how awesome Shepard is, again, which reinforced my sense that this could be really annoying but is very nice for lesbian Shepard, and in any case, it feels like it's going somewhere now. We'll see where exactly that is!

[poeticdevastation]

hi chūya. do u read manga

Do you really want me to answer that.

All seriousness, I've read some.

Shingeki no Kyojin was good n' I liked Tokyo Ghoul.

Out of animes I liked their intro songs- especially Unravel, Shinzou wo Sasageyou, n' The Rumbling.

Another one I loved was found & lost by Survive Said the Prophet.

That band is insane, man. /pos

I have a small playlist dedicated to some of my favorite songs by them.

Of course I gotta mention the GOATs, Akira n' Fist of the North Star.

I tried Given- n' I guess this would be a "hot take" or whatever you guys call it- but if I'm bein' honest, I was more into Bocchi the Rock.

Still a cute one, though.

Nothin' will ever give me chills like Banana Fish n' this scene from Bocchi.

Death Note was another one that was pretty good but drove me nuts- loved the second op though- n' I'm excited to continue Boku no Hero Academia n' Demon Slayer.

I think the two I'm most excited to read/see more of though are Trigun/Trigun Maximum/Trigun Stampede n' Rurouni Kenshin.

Vash is a pretty cool guy.

Oh yeah- One Punch Man was hysterical, too.

Princess Mononoke was gorgeous.

Y'all can hate on it all ya want or be judgemental to it's chaotic n' broken fandom but RWBY rocks.

R.I.P. Rooster Teeth

Death Parade n' Satsuriku no Tenshi were interesting, & I'm interested in continuing Moriarty the Patriot n' Link Click.

I liked n' gotta continue/rewatch:

Assassination Classroom

Full Metal Alchemist

Interstella5555

Monster

One Piece

Owari no Seraph

Pluto

Mob Psycho 100

Sonic X

Dungeon Meshi

Spy × Family

Steins;Gate

BNA

Tokyo ESP

Re:Zero

Kiznaiver

Black Clover

Noragami

Phoenix Wright

Soul Eater

Ao no Exorcist

Tokyo Revengers

Durarara

n' ESPECIALLY Gurren Lagann n' Cowboy Bebop

I've been told to check out

The Great Pretender

Afro Samurai

Baccano

91 Days

Kaiju No.8

Berserk

Bleach

Evangelion

Vinland Saga

World Trigger

Tate no Yūsha no Nariagari

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

Dorohedoro

Enen no Shouboutai

Great Teacher Onizaka

Hunter × Hunter

Hellsing

Hotaru no Haka

Detective Conan

Lupin III

Jujutsu Kaisen (That one guy's voice is. Drivin' me nuts. Where have I heard it.)

I don't plan to watch Chainsaw Man but the manga looks good.

As for games: I've played that [Redacted] series n' saw the anime for it as well as read some of the novels when I had the time.

I liked that Hagakure guy, but I can't put my finger on why... oh, n' Leon was pretty cool, too.

I loved Mondo n' Taka, not gonna lie.

Also liked Nekomaru n' that Kaito dude.

What was up with that Gozu guy too- he was interestin'.

Persona games are pretty good, too.

I played Genshin for a bit. I like Diluc. I swear- that Itto guy sounded familiar, but I'm not sure where else I'd heard him from.

HSR might be more my thing, but I like the fighting style more in Genshin if I'm bein' honest. Otherwise, I'll still be more active on Star Rail from now on.

I like Boothill n' Aventurine.

If you've read this far then here, have some of my guilty pleasures- if you can call them that;; basically:

You will never catch me admitting to liking these.

Violet Evergarden

Lucky Star

Horimiya

Shimoneta

PaSwG

Osomatsu-san

Ouran Koukou Host Club

Kaguya-sama: Love is War

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Howl's Moving Castle

Princess Tutu (Wrecked me)

Fairy Tail

Kill la Kill

WataMote

Your Lie in April

Sasaki to Miyano

Sword Art Online II

Tian Guan Cifu

My Neighbor Totoro

n' especially Toradora! n' Buddy Daddies.

^What can I say, the last two were too-darn-adorable for me to resist.

Oh yeah, speakin' of animes people refuse to admit likin' n' reachin' this far to be deservin' of seein' my "honorary mentions"...

Y'all who are still afraid to like Kekkai Sensen are cowards.

Go check out Blood Blockade Battlefront, losers. /endearing

By the same guy who made Trigun, iirc.

There's one that keeps bein' brought up around me though... the Hell was it...;;

Bungou...somethin'...

...Bungou to Alchemist.

That's definitely what it was.

[absolute-snzaster]

ok I'm officially tired of waiting for literally any other person on snzblr to get into the same weirdly specific visual novels as me so fuck it, here's the a/ndromeda s/ix snzcanons that literally no one asked for! under the cut because I write so many fucking words oh my god

Cal:

dad sneezes, because of course he does

fully vocalized, throaty, with two separate and clearly enunciated syllables

literally sounds like "AAAH–CHOOO!" what can I say, the man's a classic.

probably owns a fucking monogrammed handkerchief. or several

kind of looks like he's allergic to life but I feel like he'd lose his voice from all the dad sneezing so idk

one million percent the kind of stuffy, straightlaced bitch you want to see get absolutely wrecked by the worst stress cold of his life

Damon:

the tiniest, highest-pitched, most adorable little kitten sneezes you could possibly imagine

HATES it.

can, will and has threatened the life of anyone who dares to mention it

this does not stop at least 50% of the crew from doing so anyway.

regularly.

June:

soft, wet, whispery/unvocalized sneezes

occasionally has (equally whispery) hitchy buildups, but never hitches more than twice per sneeze

probably the type to sneeze into cupped hands. or a crumpled tissue/several tissues/handkerchief in said hands

sniffly, probably rubs his nose a lot

has allergies and specifically stifles his allergy sneezes for whatever reason.

stifles by pressing one finger under his nose and somehow it actually works?

this might just be because he's my number one favorite best guy (sobbing crying I love him so much ough) but I could totally see him having the kink and being SUPER embarrassed about it. just so blushy and flustered and aaaaaa 🥰🥰🥰

I feel like I had another thought about this but I forgot it bc too busy thinking about June blushing 😊

he would just have the shyest smile after he sneezed like especially if somebody blessed him oh my GOD I would die for him my sweet sweet boy

Ryona:

long, breathy buildups and soft, satisfying releases

doesn't necessarily have the kink, but does seem like the type to really just enjoy a good sneeze

I could see her having the kink tho. just bc she probably knows how to cure a cold in like 3 minutes if she wanted to

also probably knows what plants to use to make people sneeze... 👀

I picture her sneezing into tissues, but like... weirdly oversized tissues. just for the Aesthetic™

Aya:

soft, rapid fits

uses tissues. will give anyone shit for using anything else (hands/sleeves/etc because she thinks it's gross, and handkerchiefs because she thinks they're dorky :PPP )

sneezes eight times in a row, like, regularly. it's specifically eight

always looks surprised before/between/after sneezes

probably allergic to cats. probably puts her face on them anyway

would tease a partner to within an inch of their life if she found out they had the kink, and then indulge the almighty fuck out of it. like possibly to the point where it'd be like kind of a lot for them actually. it's really just another form of teasing

she'd fucking love that she could turn someone on just by sneezing tho

Bash:

really snotty colds. probably gets a pretty bad cough with them too

absolutely the type to get laid up with man flu. just the most melodramatic when he's sick

probably goes to Ryona the second he gets a cold all sniffling and going "helllllllllp :("

can make his tattoos flash when he sneezes as a party trick but disables it when he has a cold bc it makes his head hurt

once accidentally did said party trick during sex. liked it a weird amount

not above using his grease rags as snot rags when nobody's looking

maybe even when they are looking, honestly.

Vexx:

angry, breathless fits that leave him doubled over and gasping every time

almost sounds like coughing... or snarling

sneezes into a loosely closed fist. with gloves on, usually

[redacted] used to worry about him when he got fits and would always try to rub his back and lend him a handkerchief

he would always try to laugh and act like he was way too cool and sexy to use a handkerchief.

he still has one of the handkerchiefs

[curbhitter]

I want to get a cork board and a cute frame so I can put my polaroids on it with the cute little pins that I have for the ~aesthetic~.

I have so many polaroids and they're just collecting dust in a polaroid photo album that I have in my room and I want to look at them for the good memories.

Plus when I inevitably move to [REDACTED] for school (pending my acceptance) I want the Idaho memories close to me since I know I'm going to be a wreck because I'm so attached to this place and this area.

I just need to find a cork board. And then a cute frame for it. That shouldn't be too hard.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Random Grabbag of Interesting Threats and Insults Heard at Site (REDACTED)

Various and sundry threats overheard around site, some directed at the staff, some at the anomalies, some at the Chaos Insurgency. Some are from the anomalies. Hell, I've got a few here. There's rumor about a Most Inventive Threat competition starting. No context, just hostility.

"I swear, if you start in with the singing again... I'm going to cut out your vocal chords, nail them to the front gate, add a warning sign, and spread the word far and wide the Viking penalty for raping eardrums applies here."

"Whomever decided Doctor Bright was Site Command material is gonna get a very special lemon basket, with combustible citrus."

"You're going to get cheesed, mate." "Cheesed?" "Like getting creamed, but a longer, more involved, and more agonizing process. With knives possibly involved."

"Wow... in the D&D game of life, you rolled a nat 1 on not just intelligence, but wisdom and charisma too."

"Keep staring at my sisters like that. I'll show you the Sumerian Cheese Grater trick."

"Keep pushing. Heard Ferdinand would just love a dinner date with you. One more comment like that, and I'll butcher, cook, and serve him your corpse."

"Wanna find out what happens when an idiot gets thrown in a miniature black hole? Keep asking 'When's lunch?' and you'll get firsthand experience."

"Why do you make easy-peasy lemon squeezy into hard hard lemon impossible?"

"Clef... touch my dark roast again, I'll shoot you with your own shotgun."

"Mock Dr. Kondraki again, you'll find out why butterflies can be terrifying."

"This. Is. Why. You. Leave. The. Keters. Alone. Now, piss off before I spank you again with your own baton, kid."

"Meh. You may have top clearance, but you don't have friends, and you don't have taste."

"The Keter? Nah, your willy isn't even Euclid." A pause. "Really weird thing to call your dong, Doctor Bright."

"What do we do with a drunken Bright? Lock him in the brig, and turn a very cold hose on him, of course."

"Interrupt my work once more, and I will be forced to suture your mouth shut."

"Those bastards! I'm going to carve their livers out with a rusty dull spoon!"

"It shouldn't be possible to play a ukulele with malicious intent, but here comes Clef, proving me wrong. One more super slow Tom Petty song, he'll be wearing that damn ukulele as a necktie."

"I could put a sack of manure through 914 on rough and get a better argument than that."

"The Chaos Insurgency must love stupid people, there's so many. Either that, or they need to start using a better temp agency."

"You call this coffee? I call this a mug of disappointment."

"Say it. You'll be eating Tuna Surprise slurries for weeks." A pause. "Why Tuna Surprise slurries? You'll be missing all your teeth."

"Huh. Surprised you can even breathe with your head so far up your own ass."

"Jeremy. My dude. You. Reek. You're out here, smelling like one of 682's chili farts, unwashed, ungroomed, uneducated... and you want a piece of my cake? Hah. Until you rediscover the wonders of a shower and soap, you ain't even touching my ladyfingers."

"Listen to me, Leonard... there is no place in the entire fucking mulitverse where I would find your creepy ass attractive. Now, fuck off before I treat you like a lich, you worthless wreck. You got no game, and lo! No maidens. Maybe 073 can teach you 'Not Being a Creep 101', you need it. Get the fuck out of here, pathetic maidenless wretch!"

"Big Brother told me about this thing he did to a guy with a wire waistcoat and a bicycle pump. Thinking of trying it on a certain annoying doctor."

"Put another fish in the damn fountain. I'll pulverize you with a trout."

"Dr. Gears... I know you're trying to set a good example, but right now you look like a poster for 'The Horrors of Insomnia and Overwork'. You need a long ass nap, boss."

"Grr. The Chaos Insurgency, can't stop them, but can't round them up, push them into a meat grinder, and use them as mutated shark bait."

"Okay... someone get Dr. Glass up here. Dr. Clef is delusional again. He just said Dr. Bright had a good idea. That's not possible."

"Wow. Contracting 008 might actually make this moron into a mere fool."

"I'm not sure if I should hit you with a shovel, shove a live snake up your ass, or just throw you in the incinerator."

"I'd sooner gnaw my own leg off and beat myself to death with it instead of have even a cup of coffee with you. Go away, Karin."

[khaotungthanawat]

hello from your secret santa! 🎁 hope your start of the week has gone well! 🌞

i sooo loved to read what you had to say about beyond evil. it is so similar to why i love the show so much and keep thinking about it. the characters are all so strong, especially the leads, but all aspects of community and support and just the connection(s) between people (good or bad) are so fascinating and can be endlessly thought about, depicted, worked through etc. this show is so much about connection and love and it really all comes together with jwds, not only together as a duo but respectively as well. they are interesting and just nuanced like real people, so every matter surrounding them is interesting and complex too (and same with the side characters!) fully adored hearing your reasoning, it really shows how much you love it. ❤️‍🩹

seeing yjg and shk in a period drama together would truly be something .... now you have put a thought in my mind i can't ever let go of! this has me intrigued all the way, i would love to see them do that. 👀

for this week: from the shows you love, what are your favourite tropes or scenes? any reoccuring themes you enjoy in just one of them or across several of them? what are stand-outs and what did you think you might not have liked as much as you did?

hello again, temporary stranger! good to hear from you <333 oh my i'm so intrigued to see what you're plotting!

re: beyond evil, i'm glad you got what i was rambling about. i love literally everything about that series so sometimes it's hard to put it into words without sounding completely bonkers(not that i don't sound bonkers on a regular basis but anyway........)

right? yjg and shk would FEAST in a period drama! yjg has already done several and i know shk did at least one with 'empire of lust' (which wasn't great but my god some of his scenes really had me [redacted]). like, come on people, we have a hole in the market!

as far as tropes, i think my favorite is a good old “oh. oh.” moment. like that moment when one person looks at the other and Realizes? good shit right there. the first rain scene in beyond evil?

(gif by me)

this scene? impeccable. my marbles? GONE.

ooooookay moving on. 

the other show that i’m thinking about constantly is kinnporsche. i never thought an mafia-themed bl would grab me like it has, specifically, the character of vegas and his relationship with pete. is it healthy? oh god no. COMPELS ME THOUGH. a trope that i love with them is vegas being a violent shithead to everybody but then is emotionally KO’ed by pete. god, he’s so pathetic and it’s delicious. 

same dude literally minutes later:

(gifs by me) 

LOOK AT HIM! HE’S A MESS! EMOTIONALLY WRECKED BY PETE! 

god i love a good soggy mess of a man. so i suppose that’s another trope/theme lol

uhhhh i kinda went off the rails and i don’t know that i really answered any of your questions, but i hope this is helpful somehow? 

i hope you have a great day! <3

[ladyazulina]

Azu is Talking — A Little Too Personal at the End

This week, the dental pain I have been updating you about has been decreasing. Slowly but surely. I was able to stop numbing my mouth to fall asleep earlier in the week, so that’s… good? I guess? It’s still hurting, but I see even the smaller of steps as progress, so.

This Creative Monday was… intense, to say the least. Fortunately, the mechanic of this game seems to be coming pretty nicely. Wordy-wise, at least. I easily spent the whole afternoon working on it, seven hours. From late morning to right into the evening, with a long break to prepare and eat lunch (watching a series episode~) and a shorter one to have a coffee.

My eyes were tired of seeing words and I still wanted to try to add something to the [REDACTED] adventure, ‘cause that goes whenever I can, remember? And I did, though very little, and my eyes ended up also hurting after that. I still have just a bit more than two weeks left to work on it. Not sure how many words missing just yet. But with just an hour or so to end my working hours, I wasn't really sure about my odds (I did the add-up with five minutes to spare). Don't have to rush and worry about it just yet, but the sooner I can end it, the better I will feel. And I always want to feel the better.

That’s not what usually happens on Tuesdays… Particularly this one. When reading a book in which you have 50+ favorite highlighted quotes, Review Tuesday becomes a nightmare.

Read this week’s review:

Posting each and every one of those quotes individually (because I want to 😭) is a heavy job. I can try to quell it a bit by listening to music and reading those quotes during the arduous posting to remind myself how much I loved that book, but it still leaves a toll. Especially if after the first massive posting on Tumblr, I'm doing the same on Patreon, repeating it on Ko-fi, and doing it once more on Co-host! Doesn't surprise me that it took me a whole day. But a whole day trying to post a review was going to easily become a killer instead of a cause of excitement. That's why I rebranded my Ko-fi and the way I shared the reviews on Co-host! Now it's a headache, but a headache that takes a slightly less amount of time and leaves me with enough left to try to fix the rest of my day. Or madden me even more, who knows?

Iron Valley, Linney's Campaign, is being live every Tuesday.

Yeah, kind of that is what I meant. Not only that, though.

I started the day by sharing everywhere I could the second post of Linney’s campaign on Iron Valley. Then I worked on posting the review of the week. All those reviews are from books I read in 2022 and 2023, I haven’t had that much of a reading spur this year mostly because I wanted to slow down and read some books I wanted outside of ARC and Beta picks. It hasn’t worked like that, if I have to be honest, but it’s like I needed the rest. I am still reading (or trying to 😬) for the teams I am already a part of, just took a year’s pause from actively looking and pursuing new teams to apply for.

After that, anyway, I had a really motivating brainstorming session with a trusted friend 💙 (my heart aches for being able not only to say but also believe that I have friends I can trust) that led me to dive for almost six hours on the [REDACTED] adventure. I was satisfied (and oh so tired) for basically finishing it with a little more than two weeks before the deadline (being aware of the time was, is, and will still be jamming my head), but I still have to make a few editions to make it the best I could. I feel so low-key hyped.

Working Wednesday, though, didn’t have much of ‘Working’. I started the day with a power outage and that wrecked my plans, even if they were really not that time or head-consuming. I could have finished with my Collaborative Writing Workshop later on, but I wasn’t feeling it. Had enough of a time figuring out what I was going to eat and how I was going to dive into the darkness of a kitchen I had even in the brightest of hours (and I had, for a change, the brightest of days so far lately). Fortunately, the power came back for a little bit to let me fix my breakfast. And then came back again so I could fix my lunch (really, really thankful for that). It went out for a little bit again when I was prepping my dessert (the first time in a long time, I can get accustomed to that 😏). But so far it held. Still have no idea what happened that day (to warrant the power outage, I mean).

So, when I finally was able to settle, it was already time for the coffee break (sacred, do not disturb), and I felt so out of sync that I just made some last-minute editions and called it a day. I added a few more things to my schedule (’cause I just remembered), but so far it could have totally gone as an UnPlanned Resting Day. I took a book from my small, brand-new, growing, personal library collection and read for hours. I don’t remember when was the last time I read a physical book I physically held in my physical hands (my last birthday doesn’t count because the book wasn’t mine yet and I was in a bookstore 👀), so it was nice. Now I just have to finish it. Preferably before the end of the month. Hopefully more on that next week 🤞

Backstage Thursday was… backstaging, ba dum tss 🥁 I did an orderly move of tasks to help me manage a bit better few certain things outside my thematic days. Like an edition I had to start because of me getting into a new project… as an editor. It took me longer than I expected, but I had so much fun starting to dive in there and I’m loving a lot the setting and the concepts and I’m into the idea that my ‘boss’ is such an easy-going person, it will be hella fun to work with them. I did my scheduled task as well, and also had to reject a possible paid project because I didn’t find myself fit enough for it. Mature decisions. I’m growing way so fast 🥺

I also found a solo TTRPG game I could playtest the week after next. I know I ‘should’ have finished the previous one by now, but life happened. Anyhow, I’m happy and excited for the new game. I really can’t wait. I’m surprisingly content as well with the subjects I was able to grab for my incoming semester. I had to withdraw all of them last semester, so I wasn’t sure how things were going to go on this one, but I even found a virtual class! It’s the best of the best of what I can get. I will totally talk a lot more about my college life after the semester starts in three weeks anyway, so let’s wait until then.

On Secret Friday, though, I was not having it. I woke up in a m o o d, that much I noticed. Last week I signed up as a player for an incoming charity weekend stream to raise funds for medical aid for Palestine by playing TTRPG games. I woke up that day overthinking the help I could give as a player with my need for accommodations. If I haven’t said it yet, I’m hard of hearing and that is such a Big Thing™ in my life… at least for me. All the session zeros and games seemed to be taking place on voice channels on Discord, and Discord doesn’t have yet closed captions integrated (w h y?!). The session zero for a game I wanted to play was taking place that day, so my mood wasn’t helping. It was pushing me to just withdraw altogether, not wanting to be a bother by switching the calls to Google Meets, which could be a problem during a live stream if none of us had a paid account cause Google would be kicking us out every hour. For a game of at least three hours. I… I wasn’t having it.

Fortunately, it did not have a grasp of me. The session zero was held on Google Meets, and the organizer said we would have an account with a Google free trial, so it shouldn’t be able to cut us out during the stream. I had a lot of fun meeting the cast and was glad of hadn’t listened to my head. Now I can formally invite you to accompany us from August 2nd to August 4th on Desis & Dragons’ Twitch channel, we will be playing a lot of games with huge diverse casts for such an amazing cause.

Still on that same Secret Friday, I was also having sad feelings, finding an article in my inbox that very morning that started like this:

Living with hearing loss impacts every aspect of my life. It shapes how I communicate, navigate the world, and connect (or, more often, don’t connect) with others. During Disability Pride month, I find myself thinking lately about unexpected support — the small, impactful ways people have shown up and advocated on my behalf when I couldn’t. There’s my wife, of course, who helps translate basically everywhere we go, and who’s learning ASL with me so we can communicate a little easier. — Pride and Perseverance by AnnaGrams.

As I said, I was having feelings, and I was already a filled well, so I was overflowing. That start hit me somewhere and thought about approaching the author, Anna Pulley, but I was at a loss for words.

I tried to do things that day, but nothing (apart from the session zero) seemed to be working for me, so, understandably so, I just let it be. My partner spent a lot of time with me and, after the session, we had our coffee break (I started having coffee breaks thanks to him) and a few hours watching a series.

I partly knew what I was feeling, so when I didn’t wake up on Playful Saturday feeling better, it didn’t surprise me. It took me a while to figure out what it was though, but after the first harsh wave, I noticed there is only one thing able to destroy me completely overnight. The hormones were shifting to prepare for the period.

What’s the problem with it? The feelings, thoughts, and emotions I have been feeling for the last decade around the hormones have been extremely radical. I don’t consider myself an impulsive person… in this sort of thing, at least, but the intensity that overcomes me has been huge enough to scare me. Of myself. For myself. I’ve been fighting depression all my life and earlier with this I noticed it is something that affects greatly my style of life. Very few people believe me, not the ones who could help me do something about it though. Yet. So it hasn’t been funny.

After communicating with my partner, he decided it best to keep me in his line of sight. So dear friends I also kept in the loop were checking on me. I felt a prisoner of my own body (though this happens often and not only because of this particular matter) and a hostage of my own mind. I made the smarter move, but it was a difficult day.

Reaching the evening, my partner started looking for activities to actively distract me. We ended up playing a few (many) puzzles from Baba is You. It was highly stimulating and I ended up deeply engrossed, so much so that when he had to leave me to spend time with his family, I shifted the attention toward the TTRPG game I’m playing. Instead of the four parts I used to go over in the previous weeks, I was only able to focus through one and a half of another, but so far that was more than I expected to do that day. Depending on how this new week goes, I may or may not finish this first campaign there. I’m excited.

The excitement doesn’t break through this mood that’s bringing me down, but now that I recognized it, it’s slightly easier to fight it. Just slightly. Being able to differentiate when something comes from you and when it comes from the liar you have as a brain makes it all a bit less strenuous. And, sometimes, that’s all you need.

I’m only playing in one game so far next weekend, but nonetheless, I hope to see you there. Until next week 💙

[kusogamesss]

Splatter

If the last half-decade has demonstrated anything, it is that the terminally online rhetoric of post-ironic who-gives-a-shit is metastasising. Vine was a benign growth, TikTok a malignant tumour. The netizen-hive-mind-collective that 'solved' the Boston Bombing is directly responsible for the fashwave that is/has/does/will erode democracy. Your grandpa has FOMO and bought $GME to 💎🙌 to the moon and we're all gonna make it, gm, gn, and you're buying into my shitcoin so I can rugpull you because Blizzard nerfed Siphon Life during Obamna's first term. Video games and anime used to be so much better before this forced diversity bullshit ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ yᴏᴜ ꜱᴀyɪɴɢ ᴅᴏ yᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴅʀɪʙʙʟɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ yᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ yᴏᴜ ᴄʀᴇᴛɪɴ took away the possibility of me getting a tradwife with Abigail Shapiro's body and Marin Kitagawa's face while I [REDACTED] to Angela White after a month of semen retention and get those GAIN$$$$ because there's always a bigger fool and it sure as fuck isn't me and you just don't get this new meme and I'm being gangstalked and I haven't [As the owner of a LandNFT, you own your individual Metalverse patch and secure a permanently assigned place on the Met---

The Milennials are the new Boomers [GEN-X ERASURE] and even the Zoomers are coming of age and they've been inundated with information and bullshit bullshit bullshit so they're casting a mirror back at this fucked up world we've made for them in their own art but some people are trying to be cute and coy with it and you get a YIIK or a Neon White but at least one of those was a good game even if it was still corpo-white-washed faux-sthetics. And your cute and coy attempts and being quirky fail to represent how angry you should be that you were born into this mess of a world because don't you know anger results in nothing? Why yes my favourite podcasts are My Brother, My Brother & Me, and The Adventure Zone, I love to choke down the fetid slurry that is the McElroys' toxic positivity of no bummers and horses and you're being force fed advertisements for fast food and you can't even open your eyes to realise it.

So when a game has the moxie to be viscerally angry, I have to take notice because that feels so genuine in the hyperrealistic world we inhabit. And Splatter is mad that the Internet has made us manipulative, lonely, nostalgic, deluded, greedy, and ultimately willing to harm others (or ourselves) for some gain, be it financial or spiritual or egotistical or chemical. This works where other games borne of the online mindset falter because this runs deep. Rat King Collective didn't disconnect to craft up some malformed half-simulacra that is outdated before it comes out. They never stopped being online, they didn't go for the here and now, they struck at the core of fourteen-year-old-me's identity. This isn't the cream of the crap, this is the dregs of a multitude of online cultures that you, yes, had to be there for. Or maybe you didn't. Does it matter? This goes deep enough that a missed referential quip refuses a reading of "oh this is one of those internet things I don't get," it simply recedes into the background, a cacophony of noise.

It isn't as if the gameplay is some marvel though. It's a spongy xoomer-shooter affair with hand guns and a Dark Souls Borne Ring dodge and commitment to the bit. A leaping enemy is gonna leap! Your dodge isn't going to give you i-frames but it'll get you out of the way and into a new harm's way. I'm not here for the gameplay anyways, it's a means to an end.

This is the video game equivalent of B.R. Yeager's Amygdalatropolis and I ravenously ate it up. Get mad. Wreck shit. Tear it all down. WORLD IS A FUCK