#I'm glad shes not my teacher
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* Apparently the other art teacher in here is classist as hell and also has a huge ego. Great.
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I hate when Chakotay is watered down to be Janeway's yes man because their disagreements are actually very interesting. [A lot of rambling analysis of this debate in particular below]
Chakotay in Parallax is very interesting in that he has to navigate a lot of different dynamics. Balance a lot of plates while being watched keenly by everyone around him. Immediately preceding this scene we see him ask B'Elanna for her opinion on the bridge - both as a chance to show her knowledge in his bid to make her chief engineer (because she wouldn't get a chance to otherwise as Janeway has clearly indicated that at this point she views B'Elanna as a troublemaker who won't be considered for the position) and because he just thinks she's a better engineer than Carey and wants the best possible chance of them succeeding. Janeway sees this as unacceptable. Carey is the chief engineer and so he should be called and Chakotay NOT asking for his opinion is an insult to Carey, Janeway, and might make the crew doubt Chakotay (and by extension the Maquis') loyalty to the Starfleet crew.
At this point it seems that to Janeway integration ["They're not your people"] means the path of least resistance, specifically tailored towards the Starfleet crew. She wants Chakotay by her side to keep the Maquis crew calm but also seems unwilling to consider them for important positions aboard the ship. Though she says that the Maquis are not Chakotay's people, not his crew, she certainly doesn't seem to consider them hers [Compare this to later instances where she stresses 'our' crew, here she simply says they aren't Chakotay's: Whose crew are they? Are they crew at all?]. This less leaves the impression of "We need to be a cohesive team" and more "You're not in charge here." She essentially accuses Chakotay of playing favorites. In her mind Chakotay's actions are not conducive to integrating the crews which would (again, in her mind) mean the Maquis being docile and accepting, obedient and content - not making trouble for the Starfleet crew. Chakotay counters Janeway's accusation with one of his own: That he IS trying to integrate them into the crew but her not allowing the Maquis any opportunity to prove themselves or succeed, not showing any trust in any of them (except, implicitly at this point, him) is making things difficult. At this point the Maquis crew are ready to mutiny on his word at any time. He knows this for a fact. Aside from that looming threat (the threat being that tensions are high and if nothing changes and they remain high there might be a mutiny even without his word) - Chakotay knows these people and trusts them. Though Starfleet and Janeway think of the Maquis as a violent bunch of criminal terrorists, Chakotay and a good number of the Maquis joined because they believed in the cause they were fighting for. These are people Chakotay knows WILL fight fiercely for what they believe in and conversely, AGAINST what they perceive as injustice. Even if they're not in the majority - they're used to picking fights which seem impossible to win. At this point Janeway admits that she ISN'T making it easy for Chakotay to integrate the Maquis - specifically talking about practical concerns; how she doesn't feel she can let Maquis crew have roles of importance on the ship because they lack the ability to hold them. "They don't have the discipline, they don't have the training," - asserting that they just aren't prepared for any such roles and it doesn't have to do with them being Maquis specifically. Ostensibly, she's treating them as she might treat anyone unqualified for the job.
Chakotay maintains that some of them, like B'Elanna, have the ability to be trained - challenging her point by saying that IF they're trained there's no reason for any Maquis member NOT to be given a more prominent role on the ship. He isn't suggesting they just unqualified people important jobs. If the problem is that they aren't trained, let's train them. These people have the ability to succeed if you give them the tools they need and a fair chance, he insists. Janeway then switches gears and her argument becomes not "The Maquis are untrained so they can't be given those jobs" but "The Maquis crew are unworthy of those jobs when compared to Starfleet personnel" saying that it'll cause insult and upset among the Starfleet crew if any member of the Maquis were to be promoted above them. Again, her idea of integration is based more on Maquis subservience to the Starfleet crew than it is the two crews working together. (Not that I believe she looks at it that way, it's just where her 'path of least resistance' leads) - though she accuses Chakotay of being too focused on "his" crew, she is admitting here that she believes her real crew are the Starfleet officers aboard, not the Maquis. She also admits here that the system she wishes to maintain (and is asking Chakotay to enforce) is one where there will ostensibly never be any chance of a Maquis crew member being promoted because no Maquis crew member will ever be more qualified, more worthy, than a member of Starfleet. We can see how it'd be difficult for Chakotay to convince his crew to remain calm under these circumstances. There's also Tuvok's behavior toward him at the beginning of the episode where the Vulcan nearly goes over Chakotay's head and when he doesn't do so (as Chakotay reminds him that HE'S the superior officer, the First Officer in fact,) Tuvok acts as if him backing down (partially) and conceding (partially) to Chakotay's authority is a favor to Chakotay.
Tuvok in this conversation is downright insubordinate to Chakotay. Despite Chakotay being the first officer, he doesn't take what he says seriously, argues that his own opinion on what should be done should be followed rather than Chakotay's, lectures the first officer about his conduct, and then almost seems to threaten him with a report. In Starfleet's rigidly hierarchical rules, acting like this to a superior officer (ESPECIALLY the first officer) wouldn't be tolerated and Tuvok knows this perfectly well. He isn't a rebellious character and clearly in other episodes adheres to these Starfleet hierarchies and codes of conduct very strictly. He values them highly. But Chakotay, a Maquis, shouldn't be First Officer. Why should he be given respect for a title he didn't earn? [Affirming Janeway's argument about how Starfleet officers won't be eager to follow a Maquis senior officer] Even though Chakotay tells Tuvok off for it ["I don't have to explain myself to you"] he doesn't threaten to put Tuvok on report or explicitly mention his insubordination. It's unclear if this is Chakotay's personality or if he just doesn't feel he CAN do that. Tuvok is one of the three most senior officers aboard and very close to Janeway. Chakotay has to think of the optics of any situation at all times - we see seconds after this conversation that rumors have already started swirling around B'Elanna being relegated to quarters that've fanned the flames of mutiny. Though we know Tuvok has personal reasons for behaving the way he does toward Chakotay (which he later admits), I really don't think it'd be out of the ordinary for this to be how most Starfleet personnel would treat the Maquis if they weren't outright hostile: Like they're only pretend crewmen. To a lesser extent we even see this with Janeway: In the following staff meeting, she clearly doesn't consider B'Elanna a viable option when Chakotay brings her up and almost ignores the suggestion entirely.
It also, again, leaves Chakotay in an impossible position. If he doesn't protect and fight for the Maquis crew, they won't ever be considered a true part of the crew and dissatisfaction will likely spread among them. Dissatisfaction which the Starfleet crew will then use to further label the Maquis as insubordinate, uncontrollable, unfit. Not to mention that if he doesn't advocate for them, he might lose their trust. However, if he DOES try to help the Maquis crew advance the Starfleet crew will view this as 'favoritism' and will further distrust him, won't respect the people he puts forth as worthy. Janeway seems to be intent on not advocating for any of the Maquis crew and also seems unwilling to ask that the Starfleet crew grant leniency. She implies that the Maquis crew need to learn to get in line and keep quiet and it seems almost like [we must remember the optics] she has Chakotay as the only Maquis in a position of power to facilitate that. Chakotay recognizes and pushes against that, saying that he won't just be her token Maquis - there only so she can point to him and say "See? We don't discriminate against the Maquis here." effectively a tool used to shut down any arguments of unfair treatment and a tool to quell the Maquis if any talk of mutiny DOES arise. In this model, Janeway can just tell Chakotay to calm them down and they'll listen because they trust him. She also doesn't have to really listen to anything he says: A token First Officer has no authority; his words don't hold weight. [Chakotay isn't Maquis anymore, they aren't his crew anymore - ok. What is he then? What are they? Nothing, without respect.] This plan seems untenable, as much as Janeway frames it as sensible: "I can't make it easy, Commander. Surely you can understand that," and alternatives as impossible "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" - in the long run, how would this be sustainable? In any power structure, you cannot expect a group of people you're unwilling to grant trust or agency to obediently follow you forever. This proposed form of 'integration' in which the Maquis are kept on the bottom rung and told intermittently to stay there quietly by the only one of them granted permission to stand at the top would never be sustainable - especially with a group like the Maquis who again, were founded on the belief that its members should fight against inequity and are already on the verge of mutiny.
I specifically find the statement "How am I supposed to ask them to accept a Maquis as their superior officer just because circumstances have forced us together?" to be interesting because personally I'd say that being forced together for the rest of almost everyone's natural life is a pretty good reason to ask people to adapt and Janeway does understand this but only applies it to the Maquis - the Maquis are the ones who have to adapt, not Starfleet. The only thing the Starfleet crew have to do is tolerate their presence on board.
At this point Janeway again claims that if Chakotay can show her a 'qualified' Maquis candidate she'll consider them. I believe this is true but we already know that Janeway's standards for qualification will likely not fit the vast majority of the Maquis and Chakotay ignores the claim in favor of putting forth B'Elanna again, firmly. Janeway predictably dismisses her as unqualified and Chakotay disagrees, arguing that he knows her. He's worked with her. He KNOWS that B'Elanna can excel at the job even if she doesn't meet Starfleet/Janeway's qualifications. He doesn't value those qualifications over what he's observed about her - just as he didn't value Carey's title over what he knew about the gap between his and B'Elanna's abilities. Then, Chakotay switches gears. He admits that Janeway's right - he does view the Maquis as his crew but that's because Janeway (almost self admittingly) doesn't and if he doesn't, who will they have? [What kind of captain, kind of man, would he be?] "You're going to have to give them more authority if you want their loyalty." "Theirs or yours, Commander?" Janeway frames Chakotay's words pointing out the flaws in this plan which I outlined earlier, as almost a threat (if she doesn't have Chakotay's loyalty it'll most definitely mean mutiny). Chakotay asserts that it wasn't a threat, he's only trying to help by telling her how the Maquis crew will react to what she's telling him. "I'm sorry you can't see that" - not an apology for what he said but that she isn't willing to budge, not willing to listen to him and acknowledge that she might be as biased towards her crew as he is towards his. Chakotay is trying his best to acclimate his crew but if Janeway isn't willing to do the same, to talk to her people as he's talking to his, then this will not end well and that isn't a threat. It's just the reality of the situation. He then asks permission to leave, showing he is willing to observe Starfleet protocol (just as when he asked permission to speak freely), and Janeway lets him go, exhaling at the intensity of their debate when alone in her ready room.
#J/C is not interesting to me when they're strifelessly playing house or Chakotay is her lovesick yesman who'll do whatever she says#Kathryn Janeway#Chakotay#I really wish they'd kept up this kind of tension between the crews and used Tuvok/Janeway/Tuvok as like a microcosm of that tension#it'd be so good!!#Tuvok#<- he's there too#chara analysis#star trek voyager#st voy#Is this the only episode they call the ship 'The Voyager' ??#Also hearing Harry call Tom 'Mr Paris' is funny - early seasons voyager you have my heart early seasons voy supremacy#ANYWAY - that's beside the point#I do like how the maquis v starfleet tension is handled in this episode#I love how we see everyone start working together and relationships begin to form#How once B'Elanna shows her stuff Janeway is almost immediately intrigued and excited & how B'Elanna feeds off that excitement#The Doctor: -annoyed annoyed complaining complaining snarky comment- ugh I can't believe I have to help with something STUPID#Kes: You're very sensitive aren't you~? /gen /pos#The Doctor: ???? um ..... haha. idk. anyway I'm glad I could help :)#'how can we be seeing a reflection of something that we hadn't even done yet?' Voyager I love you MWAH#Tom Janeway B'Elanna: -temporal mechanics- / Harry: .... so how do we get out???#SUUCKS that in later seasons B'Elanna & Chakotay's relationship isn't focused on anymore but I mean. Every poc is pushed aside in later#seasons. But here you can see how much Chakotay believes in her and wants her to succeed!!! No wonder she likes him so much#He was probably one of the first people to really believe in her and SHOW IT and now Janeway's doing the same thing <3#My above post may paint Janeway somewhat negatively but it's only in the 'character flaws and being wrong about things means you have#a chance to grow' way - as soon as B'Elanna shows her potential Janeway wants to encourage it#God B'Elanna's so pretty#I forgot Seska was on the bridge!#'many of your teachers thought you had the potential to be an outstanding officer' SOMEONE SHOULD HAVETOLD HEEEER!!!!!!!!#WHY DID NO ONE TELL HEEER!!!!!
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I love Yambureme so much, and I love the story! It got me thinking, how does 1-A react to their teacher being a Nomu now? How do they cope with losing their homeroom teacher and likely needing a replacement?
We'll see a bit more of their individual reactions in this next chapter but in general most of class 1-A use it as fuel to the fire of becoming heroes. It puts a much more dire spin on their education, especially immediately after during the sports fest. Everyone is fired up and serious and unfortunately find it difficult to enjoy themselves.
Midnight and All Might take on a joint homeroom position for the class in his absence. It really helps the class keep it together because Midnight can tell them stories about Shouta when he was young (even though he might be a little cross with her for it) and bolster their confidence that his self-built strength will keep him alive until he's brought home.
#nomu aizawa#Yabureme Aizawa AU#aww HEHE I'm glad you like him <333#boku no hero academia#my hero acedamia#text post#in terms of learning he's a NOMU...#they want to actively help bring him back#the reveal comes around immediately after the forest arc when AFO vs OFA#and eventually they ask Mic to let them help out#adding: this also brings them all closer to Midnight and she really bonds with the students#so does All Might but he's still so focused on Deku that he's not as prevalent as Midnight#she's not just a subject teacher anymore she's holding them all together
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#“I'm glad you didn't stop after the first try.”#what's it with teachers making me cry this week?!#she smiled at me and praised my typography assigment and talked about how important it is to not be like#“okay this assigment is done i don't care if it's bad let's move on to the next one” but actually put effort into it and do it again if the#first version is not good enough#i didn't want to do it because i'm not creative and didn't really have any good ideas#but i couldn't not redo it because i like all of my assigments to be as good as possible#and it's... it's nice when the teachers appreciate the time and effort i put into the assigments#my useless posts
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being moved to a different classroom for my last week while the head of the program pretends she's doing me a favor but she's really doing my supervisor a favor 🙃
#she said she wanted me not to feel bad and be in a bad situation#but im p sure she did it bc my supervisor was up in the office talking shit ant me again this morning#she was acting all nice but 🤨#she's not nice soooo#also she didn't even follow up when i mentioned safety concerns for the kids when she asked why i was leaving#and she didn't ask me to stay#she did seem sympathetic but idk my co teacher thinks it was a favor to our supervisor to keep her happy#bc thry still think she walks on water#im so worried for the kids but it should be less stressful in t2#also the teacher i swapped with today saw me two hours later and she was like: girl i get it 💀💀💀#lmao#so sad for the kids tho#but excited abt new opportunities#but i did want to have the time to say goodbye to the kids#its probably better to transition them this way bc they'll still see me a little bit the last week but not all day#and get used to me not always being there#so they won't care as much when i'm completely gone the week after 😭#but they were crying at thebgate between the playgrounds today and it was really hard#i was holding finn's hand over the gate 🥺#then we combined classes for the end of the day on the playground and that was like 10 minutes before i went home#so they got happy for a bit then broke down again when i said goodbye 😭#teddy was screaming at the door the whole time after i left 😭#i watched thru the classroom window while the other teachers were consoling them and it was so sad 💔#i've only had one cry when i went home before but this time it was half of them#bc they barely saw me all day then i left as soon as they thought i was going to stay#anyway#i have a job interview tomorrow and surgery#and maybe a second job interview#trying to focus on that rn#still glad i'm quitting but 💔
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What if I could just start my life over again? Be a kid. All my grandparents still alive. No worries that my mom can't fix. By which I mean.... I'm younger than four.
Not even "with my current knowledge I could be better" (would negate the no worries thing tbh). Not even be a kid now (the tech we had back then is important in my development).
Just, could we take a break, rewind, and start the last thirty years over again? I'm not ready for the future.
#I think the real problem is I haven't met anyone since graduating college so I don't have anything good to accept the bad that led me there.#Like. My mom talks about how with a time machine she would have sent me to a different school at the first sign of that teacher fucking#me up. But I say I'm glad she didn't because otherwise I wouldn't have mf#personal#learning to function
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@beatingheart-bride
"I felt like I had sworn in front of a princess!" Randall admitted with a shy laugh, the rest of his family laughing along as he rubbed the back of his neck: Though he would freely admit he could cuss a blue streak with the best of 'em, he tried to keep his mouth clean in public, and certainly keep it extra-clean in the presence of an upper-class young woman like Emily. Needless to say, his failing to do so absolutely mortified him in the moment, though he could certainly laugh about it now.
"I, uh...I didn't want to sound like I had no manners," he continued sheepishly, adding, "It, uh...it did take a while for her to convince me that she wasn't offended by my cursing-I felt awful, I really did, in the moment, though, I felt like it made it seem like I was born in a barn..."
"Awww, reminds me of when August and I first started getting to know each other," Josephine giggled amusedly, seeing a lot of similarities between her husband and grandson in the moment as she went on to explain just how nervous her future spouse was in the early days, very flustered being around such a confident, forward, and scantily clad woman (which quite flattered her, honestly).
"I used to have him over for coffee after performances, and bless his heart, he was so nervous-the only thing louder than his racing heartbeat was the way his cup used to clatter against his saucer! Well, one day, he got so wound up that he dropped his cup and spilled coffee all over the rug (which didn't bother me much; if anything, the coffee stain made that cheap ol' thing look better), and between his very rapid-fire apologies, I could hear him cursing under his breath, and that only made him apologize even more!"
"I'm not usually one for vulgarity," August admitted bashfully. "But I was just so frustrated and embarrassed by my inability to sit still that it just...slipped out, and I felt awful, just awful, swearing in the presence of a lady!"
Most people wouldn't bat an eye at swearing around someone in her profession, but he was a consummate gentleman to everyone he met, and so he didn't think twice about apologizing to her (even though, as she told him, she'd heard worse).
#((it would be *very* different! they really have brought so much warmth; there's been so many heartwarming moments))#((that have come from their presence on this blog and their appearances both in this series and in other au's!))#((i wouldn't trade it for anything! randall reconciling/having a better relationship with his father))#((emily having supportive parental figures in her life; june and wilhelm getting to be a part of their grandchildren's lives))#((so much good has come of it; and it's been so wonderful to explore!))#((and i agree; i think the burkes are an absolute shoe-in; and i'm so glad you've enjoyed getting to know them))#((AND i'm delighted to have sprung that on you out of the blue! i had it in my notes about august being a teacher))#((and it's been mentioned that josephine worked with fabric; but i just thought it would be really fun))#((if-keeping in the trend of the pace family being full of odd couples-if she had a wild streak))#((while august was more buttoned up and reserved! i admit i was watching 'abbott and costello meet dr. jekyll & mr. hyde'))#((and the leading lady in that film is a chorus girl as well as a suffragette in victorian-era london))#((which certainly ruffles a LOT of feathers and gets her in quite a bit of trouble; which doesn't faze her))#((and that gave me the idea of josephine being an ex-burlesque performer; i thought that would be really fun))#((and i knew it'd get a big reaction from both you and from emily! i'm absolutely DELIGHTED by the response to that! XD))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Two Worlds; One Family
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My graduate thesis - after (somehow) successfully defending it last week to my committee team - just got officially accepted by my school. Time to become a blanket burrito and (try to) sleep forever out of relief that it's finally finished.
#Satari rambles#Hi there and howdy#I have occasionally poked in on here to talk about the whole graduate school thing#I'm just so glad it's done now#One of my committee members had to observe my teacher last night for class and he announced I had successfully defended it last week#And I don't know#Just seeing him and the other members and then my classmates proud#Got a little emotional#Even if it still feels surreal to have written as much as I did and even if I have some conflicting feelings about the end result#Since I did a creative fictional thesis#But I really am happy it's done and I'm almost done with school#(Granted I'm scared for what comes after especially with finding work right now among other things but that's for later)#But yeah#This has been the usual Satari is a dork who rambles in the tag night (even though it's only the afternoon right now)#Please tip your service staff#Have a wonderful timezone everyone#Also my committee head bought me some books to celebrate and oh my gosh I love that woman#She's so dang kind and it was really touching#People are so wonderful sometimes#I hope I can give some of that wonder back even if as a fraction
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ayo can somebody give me tips about how to either tone down or get rid of my anger at my syntax professor bc i am angry at her to a point where it is physically painful
#like i'm glad she's at least giving some kind of feedback now#but some of the things she marked wrong in that assignment were literally correct#it's not even as much about how i have a b+ average in the class now its more that she's just a shit teacher in general#she mumbles she doesn't explain things clearly she repeats things we've already gone over she reads directly off the slides#she's not enthusiastic about the subject or teaching and while i can't blame her too much for that having some one mumble syntax facts @ u#in a monotone very bored-sounding voice is really not conductive to learning in the least#and the other ling majors feel the same she has like a 3.4 on rate my professor and i talked to some others about her#i know my anger is justified to an extent but i can't do anything about it#i want to break something but i'm in a dorm room#ofc i don't want to break my stuff or my roommate's stuff and if i broke the room i'd have to pay a fine#i need to hit something i need to do something outwardly destructive otherwise it's going to end badly for me#i need to break/do something that doesn't harm myself or anyone else
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guess who had to send. an email. i'm so composed. SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS SCREAMS SCR--
#quil's unholy underworld#tw caps#unless I'm being an idiot there is no way to download these worksheets because they are QUIZZES#and my professor. doesn't seem to be listening to that!#she sent me an email like glad that thing with the site was worked out. you should download your work and submit it#MA'AM THERE IS NOTHING TO DOWNLOAD#i can download the browser page?? but that doesn't show any of the content just the grade I got? is that what you want?#why not just LOOK at the grade on the site?? it's YOUR course you're the teacher you can see!! all the grades!!#banging my head against a wall#not really. but emotionally I am because like. ma'am I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying#idk how any of the other students are faring have they unlocked a secret I haven't#like I swear I've looked everywhere and there isn't a download option#like I legit don't know what she wants from me#i swear it doesn't exist#unless I'm being the biggest idiot in the world and making this way more complicated than it should be#which definitely sounds like something I would do#but like. i don't think it's me?
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Today's List of Nice Things:
Thank God gmail lets you remove email addresses from reply-all messages. Otherwise I would've invited my ex to an event I'm hosting.
Had a good dinner with my dad. AND. I corrected him successfully on a racial slur he used without realizing it. I think it's growth for both of us.
Really enjoyed my caraoke playlist on my way home.
Tank top and jeans weather tomorrooooww.
#who is forlornmelody?#brain hygiene#my therapist apparently was in the hospital last week#I'm glad she's okay but I'm also spinning cause I have no idea when my next appointment will be#it's already been a month and I really need to process the breakup and the toxic relationship itself#i wish there was a thing like substitute teachers but for therapists
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really starting to think someone put the evil eye on me.....
#all 3 of my final lab exams went horribly#today i had an oral exam & my first train was canceled & the second one was 20 minutes late#i arrived 7 minutes late but i was thankfully still on time bc there was still another student in the exam room#my teacher obviously wasn't amused but she was still nice & i got a b which i'm satisfied with#but my teacher seems convinced that i can do much better like a b isn't a good grade?? let me live 😭#i guess i was still lucky bc i was there on time after all & got a good grade but it was soooo stressful i'm glad i didn't cry#and my mom made it so much worse when i told her my train wasn't coming she got all mad at me like it was my fault???#she kept saying i finally need to grow up like girl what does that have to do with the train being canceled? 😭#she stressed me out even more & she actually could've easily driven me to my exam bc i had still had over an hour to get there#but instead she kept berating me and making me feel even worse...#and i kept telling her i'm already stressed enough can't you tell me smth uplifting but she just kept being negative & condescending#it's a little frustrating how all my exams before the finals went so good but now that it really matters everything seems to be going south#but ultimately i just want to pass everything and never set foot into this school again i can't wait for all this to be over 😪#and sometimes i really think the girls i surround myself with at school want me to fail..#like i often miss school bc of mental problems & sometimes i feel like they're mad that i still do well in school??#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but sometimes it really feels like they're waiting for my downfall#our 'friendship' is very superficial as well & i often feel left out from the group tbh#like last friday i stayed behind a little to talk to a girl & none of them waited for me even though we all go to the train station togethe#but they always wait for the other girls of the group..#i'm not taking this too personally bc i don't see them as good or close friends & i know once school is over i won't see them again anyways#but it does hurt a little bc i'm always the odd one out who struggles to make friends no matter where i am#either way..... please please please just let me pass all of my exams & let everything fall into place in my life 🧿🧿🧿#☁️
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#saw my sister and my nephew today and we ate sushi and it was really nice#also work has been very ok the last 2 days and i'm grateful for every okayish day at the moment#also also found out that my ex crush is in a relationship with one of his ex students and it actually made me laugh gkskf#like sir that is disgusting. he's a high school teacher so she's definitely over 18 but still very young and a lot younger than him#and like. he used to be her teacher#i'm sorry but that's just 🤢#i was already over him but damn i'm so glad i dodged that bullet lol#anyway i kinda miss my parents because they're on vacation but they'll be back on friday and i'm very excited#and i will finally see my friend on thursday#haven't seen her since we were in austria because i was not in the mood to see anyone but i'm very excited to see her again#and i'm getting my nails done tomorrow#AND i'm seeing lewis capaldi (+only the poets) next week 🥳#we're trying to focus on the good things today
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Not sure how to insert a read more on mobile so this post about my personal experiences with transphobia and ableisn will be in the tags only 👍
#there was this teacher in middle school who I had for two days due to like a station rotation activity with my actual teacher#and when i was in middle school i mostly passed as a boy#but im afab and was just using she her pronouns. essentially presenting myself to the world as a gender nonconforming cis girl.#i was aware and comfortable with the fact that my gender was more fucked up than that but i wasnt out for a variety of reasons anyways#i digress#this teacher refused to call me by my name (the name my parents gave me. on my birth certificate) or use she/her pronouns for me#she called me he and it and told me i wasn't fooling anyone with this nonsense#multiple students - one of which consistently bullied me - corrected her on my gender and pronouns and she wouldn't listen#she even complained to my actual teacher in front of me and referred to me as 'that thing'#and this was humiliating and it was scary but more than anything it was exhausting bc by this point I was very accustomed#to being misgendered and dehumanized by my peers it didnt even strike me as particularly concerning that this person in authority was#so blatantly bent on this path#and to be fair i was dehumanized by other people in authority but usually for my autism not my gender. that was more my peers#anyways. i just found she died last August#and I'm like really struggling with feelings of guilt because I'm honestly a little glad she's dear#dead*#even though I only had those few interactions with her#anyways#i was in the same year as her grandaughter. and i know what its like to lose a family member you love#who is deeply flawed#and i know she was important to a lot of disadvantaged kids#whatever. it doesn't matter really how I feel. it's not like I have to talk to anybody who knew her ever again#tw ableism#tw transphobia#if you read all that you deserve some kind of award
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I have the next 2 weeks off hurrah hurrah
#anntics#LOVE working in a school#and! I have o f f i c i a l l y transferred over to the infant and toddler room as a teacher#several people at work have commented on how much happier I've been this week#under the assumption that it's bc I love babies so much (and to be fair I DO)#but honestly it's nostly that I'm not being fucking high school mean girl bullied by a grown ass woman every day!!#like my current coteacher is a christian fundamentalist former trump supporter (2016 not 2020 if it matters) republican and#*and I prefer HER to my former coteacher#like jesus she's got issues for sure but she's not actively glowering at me everytime we make eye contact#god. I'm so fucking glad I'm out of there. I can finally enjoy my job again
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The Showers is my fav creepypasta as I've said but OH MY GOD does it have one of the most punchable characters in a creepypasta ever.
#I HATE Karen#which is intentional on the writer's part but omg did he do a good job#she's only in the extended one not the original two#so I'm glad for that#the part 3 isn't that great anyway lol#the reason it's my fav and has been since it's release is because it is very affective at telling the story#the build up with Mays' story and how accurate and realistic to an experience like that is#and the fact that the character becomes obsessed with the story is realistic#and goes and gets his own version of the story that is similar to his teachers and the trama passes on#even though the 3rd one isn't that great and does nothing to develop his character it still follows the idea of passing on the trama#I know Karen is mentally ill but that doesn't excuse the actions she takes in forcing him to go back to something that traumatized him#just because SHE was fascinated with it#Mays never did that he only told the story to help himself understand and get over the loss of a friend#I also enjoy the story because it's both based on an urban legend and functions as one#also if you can't understand why I like it when it's 'shit' we're talking about a creepypasta not any other type of horror
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