#I'm glad she got that opportunity but I think she doesn't realize that is EXTREMELY fortunate

[foxgirlmoth]

Imagine being one of the most well known trans streamers (at least that I've ever heard), being allowed to afford for pretty much whatever affirming care you want, and then making fun of another trans women for.... Being a trans woman. And then you throw a hissy fit when people say you're shitty for that. Like damn you have so many people going to bat for you for being a piece of shit to someone else in your own community, you can afford to do this, and then you just say you're not 'quirky' enough to fit in with us. You're just being an asshole. Trying to say 'normal' trans women don't exist is pretty fucking disgusting.

[hed-romancer]

epithet erased: prison of plastic thoughts (spoilers)

finished the book! and before i go look at what everyone else thought, here's what i thought. negatives first, then positives.

NEGATIVES

brendan blaber really is a visual storyteller and you can tell reading this. if i read this again i'm making a drinking game out of every time he says someone was acting "like" someone else. 2 shots if it's doing something like a little kid

"also, there's just spontaneous dramatic exposition in places there really shouldn't be. someone should explain "show don't tell" to this guy because he'd randomly cut to paragraphs of a character's serious backstory with how exactly they reacted and felt and why, and it could get pretty awkward and borderline insulting.

I definitely liked Rick Shades more towards the end, but why was his whole character gimmick that he seems like a really creepy guy preying on tween girls, but actually he isn't? Like. I'm glad he does have good intentions, but having to sit through chapters of not knowing that was kinda rough and anxiety-inducing.

Also, the whole "isolated community with its own race of people barely represented in the mainstream society is really barbaric and people need to escape it and join mainstream society" rings some warning bells for me.

Also, while I liked Rick Shades more towards the end, I really do think it was a wasted opportunity having him along on the adventure instead of Sylvie (or Percy). It would've been interesting to examine Molly and Sylvie's parallel but different adult mentalities and actions, while not having to dive into the extremely fantastically-horrible situation Rick had going on.

POSITIVES

not that the rest of this book sucked, cause it was pretty good, but the rest of this book could've completely sucked and i still would've loved it for giovanni "kidnapping" molly at the end

i really liked lorelai's characterization. while her being boy crazy was mentioned a bit too often for me, her latching onto giovanni as someone who actually appreciates her creations was cute, and i like how her whole concept is of someone just completely unwilling to face reality and resenting anyone who tried to make her. this might've been annoying had it been an adult character, but since she was 14-15 when her mom died, this makes total sense and i dig it. the realization that she didn't know if she killed her mom and was going to such lengths to avoid considering it was genius

Molly was also done really well. I liked how she was very understandable but not perfect either. She doesn't appreciate her sister's creations or understand what her sister is trying to do at all, but she's got bigger stuff on her plate and you can't help but feel for her the whole time. (again tho, way too much exposition on how she thinks everything is her job. did not have to spell that out so many times for the readers)

giovanni being completely clueless almost the entire time was hilarious

trixie and feenie were pretty cute

martin blyndeff is written wonderfully. he's a horrible guy but he's genial enough that he can trick himself into thinking he's the good guy. good foil to lorelai

the worldbuilding was great

i loved how it was a magical story that focused on how these two girls cope with a horrible situation. i love that blend of magical and non-magical problems

[llycaons]

further thoughts on atogai

the knife attack was sick. I love kadou

I complained earlier he doesn't have any hobbies, but he really is a very well-educated and intelligent young man with an apparently sincere interest in the economy, public works, wines...he's got stuff going on

kadou at one point calls evemer 'tricksy' which had me screaming...gollum moment

why is evemer so obsessed with being trusted? what's HIS baggage? he doesn't really seem to have anything going on in his backstory.

he really is quite like lwj. not expressive, strict with himself, rule-abiding to the point of rigidity, solitary, only opens up to his mom...but like, what great hurt is HE hiding? lwj was in mourning since he was 6 years old, and it informed his behavior towards wwx later in the story. evemer might have more internal depth, but he doesn't appear to have much in the way of backstory and I kind of doubt his character is going to develop very much beyond 'coming to realize kadou is The Guy He Wants To Serve' and then falling in love etc.

it's nice to see him talk back more to kadou...honesty is important

EOZENA MVP 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

siranos is being extremely fucking suspicious. screwing up the investigation in so many small ways and nobody even thinks to suspect him?? it's so obvious I hope it's a red herring

also I think eozena's gonna die. she just said something about getting old. I don't think she'll make 76 :/

kadou getting all twisted up about his position and his relationships presents the opportunity for some drama down the road. like omg him and evemer are so in love...but they cant! they musn't! their POSITIONS....

all temporary until he gets promoted, ofc. or...demoted. this doesn't seem like that kind of unpredictable story but who knows

I'm enjoying their semi-friendship tho. it's nice to see them joking around and communicating and stuff

I think tadek is going to die :(

it's pretty neat how deftly the author is juggling this complex relationship dynamic and how completely they're avoiding boiling the interactions down the mere jealously or desire or Love. kadou cares for tadek and respects him and doesn't want to hurt him and he also really likes evemer in a genuinely serious way and tadek really cares abt kadou and is loyal to him and IS a little jealous of evemer bc he feels like he's been pushed aside and he kind of has, and evemer thinks low of tadek but his opinion is improving...but tadek isn't an antagonist or a bitter ex and he's still likeable and important and kind and loyal...it's interesting

and he's also not in love w kadou. like he loves him and he is deeply loyal and affectionate but I don't think he's IN love

ohh now they're having it out...nodding nodding

oh lmao 'As indulgent and satisfying as your favorite fanfiction.' I wonder if the author is offended bc they write fanfic but this is THEIR original stuff...I think it's better in a lot of ways than most fanfic but I wouldn't say it's as satisfying as my FAVORITE fanfic

their only chance is if they deliver that sex scene like they didn't in unstrictly ballroom COME ON MX. ROWLAND!!!

oh my god NO now they have to kiss to pretend like they weren't spying? god I hate this trope it's so stupid and its unbearably embarassing 😭😭😭 my estimation of this book just dropped like. not insignificantly

I was worried this would play into orientalist tropes but besides some titles and names of food and instruments, this setting doesn't seem to have much of a connection to the real-life SWANA region. names, religion, the social and cultural system, geography...all looks original to the book. I'm a bit disappointed (I liked the passion and research that infused SFC's city of brass series), but at least there's not much of stereotypes to worry about. and COB handled many things...very clumsily. this isn't a book abt geopolitics and I'm glad

not even joking I don't think it's problematic or anything it's just annoying and I had to stop reading to anxiously make this post bc I do NOT wanna read this. ugh here GOES I GUESS

okay can it be behind us now 💀

I DO find it a little annoying when royals are like 'oh woe is me I must marry for something besides love' but the narrative recognizes that this is just the assumption for the rest of the kingdom and not the reality necessarily. like kadou has his every need seen to, is unimaginably wealthy, is extremely well-educated and well-cared for, and has a retinue of personal guards to see to his every comfort. he does have those attacks but when he genuinely starts complaining about his position I'm like. dude come on

to his credit he usually doesn't tho! that would be unbearable. the narrative doesn't talk much abt the other people in the city or kingdom except the guards have an insane schedule but they ARE the future government and they get paid like crazy so it's kind of like doctors doing insane hours right. not that 72z-hr weeks are GOOD. damn

evemer hasn't seen his mama in like...weeks. I want to meet her!!!!!

help so the sister is inviting a hot french guy down to try to set him up w kadou and kadou thinks it's for HER so he's like 'I better stay out of her way so she can fuck him :) wow I love my sister I can't wait to have a niece. go get it girl'

if she's trying to make a political alliance she should at least tell him...

oh this could be awkward. I kind of hope frenchie is a nightmare. for the drama

honestly it seems like a glaring oversight that evemer didn't report that conversation to eozema. of course kadou dismissed it but it was clearly pertinent!!!

I can see the echos of some of wx in this but like...idk it doesn't feel as earned as wx did. they've known each other for less than two months. 'evemer was safety' it's been like 6 weeks my guys. wwx knew lwj for years. you can't even hope to compete with THAT dynamic but it's kind of cute to try

well well well. I have to stop reading to make dinner and breakfast and lunch for tomorrow. such is life as an adult. but the convos are interesting

[arithecreatorsstuff]

An Unanticipated Outcome

It had been three months since I started training under Abel. So far, aside from looser fitting clothes, more admiring looks from a few fellow staffers, and a decrease in my tendency to trip over flat surfaces, results were iffy. I still lost every time I sparred with the anomaly. Doesn't mean I wasn't going to keep at it. No, silly Little Rabbit actually thinks someday she can beat the Big Bad Wolf. Uh. That nickname, how it irked me. Clearly, by now Abel should see I am no rabbit. Yet, every time, he still teased me with it.

"Pay attention, Little Rabbit. You've left your left flank exposed."

I brought down my sword on his axe arm, blocking an incoming blow. "Saw you coming, this time."

"Glad to see you're catching on so quickly."

"I have a damned good instructor, Master Abel. Plus, you also left your right leg open." I sweep his leg, and he falls like a Jenga tower, laughing.

"So, the student got one over on her master. Now, what will you do with me?"

"Honestly, once could be just luck. So... I'm going to help my master to his feet and see if I can knock him down again."

"That's my Little Rabbit." He stood up unhumanly fast. "Are you ready, Little Rabbit?"

"Not really, but that's never stopped me before."

We square up, and he charges at me with an overhand strike. I block, and swat him on the backside with the flat of my sword. He swipes at my head from the left, nearly slicing my braid. I hit him with a sharp left hook, and he doubles over, mock wheezing.

"You... going to... help me... up... Little Rabbit?"

"Would you fall for the fake rasping routine?"

"No. See, this is exactly why I like you. You're not as gullible as others. You also have much spirit."

"Master Abel, was that an honest compliment?"

"Indeed. You're becoming quite formidable."

"Formidable enough to earn a hug?" Abel laughs.

"Knock me down once more, and we shall see. By the way... I would not try to spank my enemy in combat in the future. They might be angry. Or... worse."

"Target of opportunity, but duly noted. Once more, with advanced footwork?"

A quick glance at the clock, and a nod. We have one last go round. As the dust settled, I realized I had Abel pinned, blade just above his throat.

"Enough. It's almost a hour to your shift, yes?" I nod. "Then, Little Rabbit, I think you've done enough training for now." I put my sword down, and help Abel to his feet again. And then... I'm caught in a warm but near bone cruching embrace. "I'm very pleased with your progress. You have much potential. I shall call you Little Rabbit no longer, you are clearly a wolf disguised." He releases me, and I walk away, trying to hide the blushing.

On my way out, I stop to see Dan, one of the guards on duty. "Hiya, Dan! How's everything?"

"Uh, fine. You okay? I saw the tail end of things."

"Mild disbelief, but I'll recover. How is Melinda? And the baby?"

"All things fine, baby should be here in six more months."

"Ah, good. Still time to finish that baby blanket then. Melinda still doing the green nursery?"

"Yeah. Color is called Frosted Sage." He paused. "I still can't believe the Extremely Mean Sumerian Murder Machine hugged you."

"Me either. But, it's the Foundation. Weirder things have happened. Remember when Dr. Bright went through his Klingon Profanity phase?"

"Fun times. We still doing our D&D group on Friday?"

"Yeah. Got a few new things planned you're gonna love. It'll give your bard a chance to shine."

"Awesome. I'm bringing the pizza."

[bemylord]

todo finding out that his s/o is takada-chan’s younger sister

rq: Hey Ny👋 i would like to request something. Can you write a Drabble about Todo finding out that his s/o is Takada-chan’s younger sister? I thought it would be funny, you don’t have to do this but I appreciate it.🙏

characters: aoi todo x fem!reader.

warnings: just todo being overdose with his s/o and takada-chan. it's super fondness and funny + au. my grammar mistakes.

butler's remark: (^◕ᴥ◕^) hello lord, it's me with a fluff work as you might see. did his s/o a todo's type: man has a booty kink [if there is one], in any case, it's a short sketch. also, i couldn't find todo's image like gojo's one or itadori's so i apologize.

disclaimer: everything you read is purely my opinion - any detail, sketch, or event is a figment of my imagination.

you knew your boyfriend was is a huge fan of your older sister, that's why you kept hiding your 'secret' from todo. not because he'd a clingy and be asking to get acquainted with her. you were waiting 'till your sister will have a concert whilst todo will be on the mission - what a shame to be probably on the other side of town when your idol is performing - the probability of such a coincidence is extremely small, but not equal to zero.

like now, when takada has her performance, todo is fighting over the special grade cursed spirit. he couldn't do anything but to exterminate the monster, so he could watch the takada's concert.

a few hours after your sister's concert, when your lover showed up on the doorstep of the house.

'i missed the concert. it was a rare occasion, it-' todo is standing in the door frame, sobbing as he missed the concert his idol. you never mentioned you like her or watching takada's shows on the screen, therefore, todo has to impress you with her. /if he knew she is your sister/

aoi todo - as i mentioned before - would be freak around you when nobody sees: his hands will wrap your waist all time, mostly in the evenings as both of you will be watching tv, but in reality, neither todo nor you ain't seeing what on the screen, mainly, you give each other warmth and hugs.

todo upset as he couldn't show you her concert. he sits on the couch in the living room, tossed his head.

'i wanted to bring you to the concert, so afterward we could have the memory'

'aoi..'

'whose concert?'

takada's head peeked out from behind the door frame leading into the kitchen as she came into the room with her stage persona [?]. todo is sitting there, looking at you, at her, not knowing what's going on.

'y/n, do you see what i see?'

you looked at your older sister, giggled. todo laid his elbows on his knees, put a chin on his fist, speculating on the situation. even being a grade first sorcerer, his brain is mushy as his capability to think straight is lost. todo could calculate a masterful plan of how to beat the spirit but at this moment, he doesn't know what to say.

'my hallucination probably played out, there is no percentage to takada-chan being here and even had spoken'

'do you think i'm not real?'

aoi's brain starts to work as the idol came to the sorcerer, dramatically pouted her lips. the moment of realization of what's happening dawned on him, as light pink blush is dotted on his cheeks, as he almost jumped off the couch.

't-takada-chan, i.. you real? certainly, you ain't fake, just..'

todo is dawned by a sudden feeling, which is hard for him to describe - such an unplanned meeting with an idol unquestionably makes him impossible to talk. even tho he's a sorcerer, ranged first which means he's powerful and astute when it comes to finding the best plan to exterminate the cursed spirit.

'i've been all ears about you - y/n told me that you're the strongest among your students. i am glad that my sister is dating someone powerful and kind like you, todo-san'

have you ever seen someone red like a tomato? well, now you've got an opportunity to have a look - the side of aoi probably you and takada allowed to see is when he's as happy as a child, the full teeth smile [?] that will not leave his face until the end of the evening, he will illuminate the room.

'don't call me todo-san, it's aoi. you're my girlfriend sister, i feel uncomfortable for you to use the formal'

the second question - have you ever seen someone being battle-crazed meathead and willing to demolish everyone but actually melty ice cream and sugary? my answer is simple - aoi todo.

all evening todo had been listening to your sister's stories with admiration in his eyes, peeping at you with those practically puppy eyes as if they're reading: 'thank you, honey'. todo kinda complacent - not everyone has got a chance to talk to the idol like aoi does.

throughout the evening the little and cute blush on his dimpled cheeks staying as if that's how it should be. out of a significant and fearsome man remained a small, purring cat, if you can characterize him that way.

'takada-chan, may i-'

'call me takada, aoi'

'takada.. may you give me taka-tan beam, please?'

at last, before leaving your house, your older sister looked back at todo's request, as if she was waiting 'till he uttered the phrase. she let out a cheerful but quiet chuckle.

'here i go' as if at that meeting when todo had time to come [he probably missed the class to see your sister], still he gets tensed when takada cleared her throat a little.

at first, she clenched her left hand in a small fist, covering her face with a curve of her elbow, next swiftly closed left eye, bringing the index and middle finger toward her eye with the back of his hand to the todo and you, pronouncing, likely the most favorite phrase taka-tan.

'here you go, aoi. i had the pleasure of meeting my sister's boyfriend. goodbye, thanks for the invitation, y/n!'

you smiled as a response, closed the door whilst todo is still speechless.

'oi, y/n, why you didn't choose to be an idol? therefore i'd be your huge fan number one'

'i've chosen another way. but, if i'll be the idol like my sister, hm~ i'll have the huge crowd of fanboys, who'd like to steal my heart'

he wanted to respond but instead of saying, todo wrapped his arms around your body, kissing your forehead.

'i'm glad that you're only mine, y/n. i love you'

you smacked your lips against his as your hands are holding his cheeks.

'..maybe i should be an idol after all..'

'and show your boot- your body to every boy? i'm not allowed you, you. are. mine!'

what is going to be next? well, you'll spend the night in todo's arms as he'll tell you, probably thousand and one quotes why you're his and why he loves you. that fondness of his is unforgettable.

(☆ω☆)

butler recommends you to see this video of todo meets takada-chan and taka-tan beam. hope it's fluff and kinda funny, sorry if it's not. also that cute moment in the end, i think it was UwU.

[?] - correct if i'm wrong.

↳ back to the main master list.

[yesttoheaven]

GOOD GIRLS GO TO HELL

CHAPTER 1

pairing: arvin russell x female!reader

summary: In the eyes of extremely strict parents, 'good' girls go to hell, but they don't know that they are handing over their own daughter to the devil – known to all as Rev. Teagardin.

wc: 3.8k

warnings: language, mentions (not depictions) of abuse, manipulation, religious fanaticism, angst

a/n: This idea has been on my mind since the day I watched the movie, so... here we go!

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

"I don't usually interfere that way. It would be best if she came here willingly. She needs to be open to accept all the blessings that God will bring to her life." Rev. Teagardin took a step forward, considering the request of a mother and father completely desperate for the salvation of their only daughter.

"We tried everything. We found great references about a boarding school called 'Good Pastor', but a week later they called to report that she had run away! Our daughter appeared a few days later in the company of three strange girls. One of them is a single mother, our Y/N shouldn't hang out with those kind of people." The woman's words contained disgust. She was tired of watching her daughter ruin her own life. The girl had become a topic of conversation in the town and a shame for the whole family.

"The truth is, we don't know what to do with Y/N. Day after day she becomes more rebellious. She doesn't respect us." Mr. Henson shared the same agony as his wife, but both see Preston as the solution to this problem.

"We don't want our only daughter to go to hell! You need to help us, Reverend. We believe that you are the only one capable of driving the devil out of her. In the name of God, save our little Y/N!"

In absolute silence, the preacher walked near the window, watching Y/N. She was sitting on the hood of Mr. Henson's car and her body was lulled by the gentle breeze that touched the skirt of the dress she wore, revealing her legs that should have been silky smooth. Smiling, the man looked at the girl's parents, knowing exactly what to do to save Y/N's soul.

"I'm glad you came to me. God will be my guide to help your daughter. Now, I would like to talk to her for a while."

Extremely grateful, Y/N's parents agreed and left the church for a few seconds. When they returned, Y/N was with them. The girl's curious eyes moved from side to side, until they found Preston Teagardin with his hands on his hips. He was at the altar, the cross appearing behind his head left him with a divine aura, but the girl remembers the day she saw the preacher humiliate – indirectly – the chicken liver dish that Emma Russell prepared with such affection. If he said those horrible things to a religious woman like Emma, Y/N didn't want to imagine what he might be thinking about her at the moment. Maybe he was wondering why she hasn't started to burn while walking on sacred ground, but it was him who was burning. Burning with desire. A sin that he identifies in others, but never in himself.

"Hello, you must be Y/N." The man approached, his eyes shining like a hungry predator who had just found the perfect prey. "You don't usually visit the house of God."

"But I'm sure that is about to change." Y/N's mother replied, looking at her daughter hopefully.

Y/N may not be an especially easy girl to handle, but she never understood why her parents didn't respect her space. She never visited the church often and that number dropped to zero when they started to force her to go with them. Over the years, Knockemstiff residents have turned religion into a disease. It's close to insanity and Y/N Henson doesn't want that for her life. Despite being seen as a sinner, she still prays every night. She gets down on her knees and talks to God.

"Dear, your dad and I brought you here to talk to Reverend Teagardin..."

"What? You said you would come here to confess and then we would go home!" Y/N protested angrily. She was ready to retrace her steps to the exit when her father took her arm.

"Y/N, we just want the best for you. Talking to the reverend can be a good start."

"And we are not giving you another option." Mrs. Henson completed, remaining firm in her decision. "Your father and I agreed not to participate in this conversation. We will walk around the town and then we come back here to get you."

"I can take her home... If you agree." Teagardin said, hiding his real intentions and touching the girl's shoulder. She was so small around him and looked so vulnerable. He smiled when he realized that.

"Oh, that's very kind, Reverend. Thanks." Y/N's mother replied, feeling enchanted by the man's benevolence. "Be a good girl." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead.

The preacher accompanied them to the door and having no other option Y/N walked through the church, staring at the cross nailed to the wall. She never felt that she was turning away from God, but looking back is exactly what she did.

"Now it's just me, you and Him." The reverend's words brought Y/N out of her own thoughts and she turned to him, crossing her arms in the process. This made her breasts more visible under the black dress she wore and Teagardin noticed.

"I can go and you tell my parents that you talked to me, but it didn't work because I'm a hopeless case. It's simple."

"I can't lie to your parents. I also don't think you're a hopeless case, Y/N." The man admitted, going to the first bench and sitting down. "We can talk?"

"Like... about my sins?"

"No. A normal conversation. Why don't you start by telling me about your life?" He patted the bench, silently inviting her to sit beside him.

Y/N didn't understand how a simple conversation could help, but she found the idea pleasant. Showing a shy smile, she approached Teagardin and sat down next to him, leaving a space between their bodies. Once again she looked at the cross, beginning to speak:

"I work for Ms. Fowler, she has a chicken coop and some pigs... I don't do much, but I like to help take care of animals and she says they like me too." At that moment Y/N looked at the preacher and imagined that she would find him with an expression of disinterest. The same expression of disinterest that her parents show when she tried to start a conversation or simply tell how her day was. They were always busy, but Teagardin was completely focused on everything she said and with a small smile on the corner of his lips.

"So, do you take care of the animals? I'm impressed, I don't know many girls who risk their lives by entering a pigsty."

"It's a dangerous place." She let slip a sweet laugh, feeling light, as she hadn't felt for a long time. "I understand them."

"I can see that you have a great relationship with animals, but what about your friends? Tell me a little about them." Those words were enough to destabilize Y/N. Any sign of happiness disappeared from her face and everything went gray, just like the view through the church windows. The rain was close and Y/N controlled herself not to start crying.

Like a sniffer dog, Preston felt this was a sensitive subject for the girl – maybe an open wound – and waited patiently until she decided to share it with him.

"I was never good at making friends, but I used to have a friend at school. Her name was Isabella. We were inseparable, but one day her father received a job offer in another city... Despite the distance, she called me every day in the late afternoon" The nostalgia was noticeable in her voice and the way her face softened with small memories. Isabella and Y/N were like sisters, but Mrs. Henson never approved of that friendship. "I am three years without news of my best friend. She never called or answered my letters and I don't know why, reverend."

"Have you never been to visit her?"

"My parents won't let me out of Knockemstiff."

"You don't have to go alone. They can go with you..."

"They don't care about me or what I want." Y/N said, shaking her shoulders as if this feeling was mutual, but deep down she knew it wasn't. "My mom said I have the power to turn people away and if Isabella walked away from me, it is certainly my fault."

"Your mother shouldn't say that." Teagardin looked deeply hurt. The situation was worse than he imagined, this family needs his help.

Y/N needs his help.

"Well, I lost Isabella's friendship, but I got three new friends!" The girl informed, as if she had finally found her place. "Two of them I met at the boarding school. The third helped us to escape and she has a beautiful baby. They work together in a bar away from the city..."

"What do they do in this bar?" The reverend had some suspicions, but he wanted to hear her confess.

"They... dance." Y/N said slowly. "I know it can look wrong, but they are good people and I don't understand why everyone looks at these girls with..."

"Have you ever been there?" Preston needed to know, but the girl just bowed her head. Sighing deeply, he stretched his arm over her shoulders, ending the distance between their bodies. "It's all right... God is merciful and benevolent. He forgives all of our sins, but He does not forgive lies."

"It was only once. I swear!" In the same instant that the words left her lips, she hid her face in Teagardin's chest and he took the opportunity to hug her, and feel the sweet perfume of her hair. It smelled like innocence.

"You made a mistake by going there. That place is not for family girls."

"I was just tired of everything... So, I thought about going there to have a drink and forget about the problems."

"Learn one thing..." The man said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "When problems arise and you feel alone, start praying. God is your best friend. And I am also here to help you."

"Thanks, reverend."

"Never go back to that place again. You shouldn't be drinking... and smoking."

"Wait..." The girl moved away from Teagardin, looking him straight in the eye. "Did my parents say that?"

"I was in town when I saw you smoking with a boy. He approached you and passed the smoke to your mouth... And then he kissed you. Is he your boyfriend?"

"Oh, you saw me with Arvin..." Shame consumed Y/N, turning her cheeks into two tomatoes. "But we are not together. It was our first kiss... My first kiss."

The moment they shared in the car had been magical. Arvin was always different from the Knockemstiff boys. He never judged Y/N for her actions. He understood her, but sometimes some problems were so big that they made the girl run away from him. All Arvin wanted was to hold her in his arms and protect from all the evil in the world.

"You need to stay away from these people. Starting with this young guy." The preacher's words captured Y/N's attention, confusing her. "You can't see it now, but those friendships are not good for you. They are driving you away from your true purpose. And Arvin Russell is taking advantage of your innocence to..."

"Arvin would never do that." She stated in all letters, not letting him finish the assumption. "I think... I think he likes me."

"There is a big difference between love and carnal attraction, and boys his age think of only one thing." Teagardin insisted, using a peaceful tone of voice. He was so convincing, that despite knowing Arvin for a long time, Y/N wondered about the boy's real intentions. He was always kind and respectful, or maybe that's what she thought, but with the help of the reverend she was beginning to understand, and the feeling of being used was difficult to digest. "I saw the way he looked at you... I saw the sin in his eyes."

"This cannot be true... W-We are not talking about the same person! He's d-different!"

"It doesn't matter who you believed in all this time or what you accepted to... to be like them. In the end, you are alone. You know it." When Preston finished, she was completely broken. It was cruel, but someone needed to open her eyes. Y/N deserved the truth. "I know it is difficult, but I am here for you." He buried her against his chest in a bear hug, wishing feel her soft, warm body in his arms again. Y/N returned the hug — and then started to cry.

Her friends were not her friends.

Her parents were right.

She felt confused. Lost. But the reverend was beside her to show a new path free from sin and delusions.

"Do you know Proverbs 28:13?" He asked, holding her face in his hands. With his fingertips he wiped away a few tears and she smiled, shaking her head. "Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy. Are you ready for this?"

"Yes, reverend." That was the confirmation he needed.

Preston Teagardin always believed that he had a special connection with God. With the right words he had the power to reach the hearts of these girls and offer them redemption. In his dark mind, they were privileged to be touched by a holy man like him. He was doing them a favor. And now it's Y/N's turn.

"First, you need to be free from your sins." The man looked with adoration for the little fallen angel. Slowly, he touched her knees, feeling the smooth skin and after a sigh, the girl was in his hands.

"Reverend..."

"Shhh. Just trust me." He said when his hands disappeared under her dress. His touch was sacred, something she had never experienced, but Y/N's conscience screamed that this was wrong. "Stand up so I can take your panties off. I need to feel you..." She got up, but ran quickly away from him, escaping his dirty hands.

Disappointment appeared in her eyes in the form of tears. It was impossible not to feel used. Again. Influenced by him, Y/N believed that her friends were a problem in her life and that they were moving her away from God's plans, but the real sinner is inside the church. His understanding, concern and kindness never existed. It was all part of the game. He needed to earn her trust before he could attack.

"You... You are a wolf in sheep's clothing! A liar! I thought for the first time someone was understanding my side, but you just want to fuck with me!"

"You got it wrong..."

"S-Stay away from me!" Y/N warned when Teagardin tried to approach. Fear coursed through her veins, spreading through her body like a drug. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she didn't want to be touched by him that way. "If you approach me, I swear I make a scandal! The whole city will know who you really are!"

"No one will believe you." He took a step forward. "You need help. I'm the only one who can..."

"Stop that shit! Do not say that the devil is in me, when you are trying to abuse a girl who is old enough to be your daughter! You are the devil, Teagardin!" For the first time she saw the anger in his eyes. Preston would never agree with that, but that is his true face. He is the devil in disguise and this was confirmed the instant he advanced on her.

Y/N ran to the exit, screaming desperately for help, even though she knew she was alone in this nightmare. With shaking hands, she tried to open the door, but the reverend took her in his arms. Compared to the girl’s small, slender body, he was stronger than she was, but Y/N resisted and hit her knee in the middle of his legs, reaching his weak point. The man let out a loud growl and walked away, seeking support on one of the wooden benches. Taking advantage of the distraction, Y/N opened the door and ran as fast as she could. Teagardin thought of running after her to finish what he started, but he gave up as soon as he saw her cross the threshold of the church, running in the rain as if her life depended on it. She didn't look back, just kept running until she disappeared into the trees.

...

The day turned into night, covering everything with its dark cloak, while rain fell mercilessly on Knockemstiff. Y/N stumbled along the road, hugging her own body in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the raindrops, but the girl's mind was elsewhere.

After what happened at the church, her faith was in pieces. She always knew that bad men walked on Earth, but she never imagined that the preacher was one of them. The way he touched her was disgusting. She wanted to scream, take the pain out of her chest and run back home to tell her parents what happened, but Teagardin's words were stuck in her head, hurting her:

"In the end, you are alone. You know it."

"No one will believe you."

Unexpectedly – or maybe that was a divine sign – a car approached the road Y/N was on. She was surprised to hear the noise of the engine and looked back. Despite the rain and the headlight blinding her for a few moments, Y/N recognized the old car and the boy on the other side certainly recognized her too. Arvin left his truck without a second thought, not caring about the pouring rain wetting his clothes in a matter of seconds.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, needing to raise his voice so she could hear. The girl opened her mouth to reply, but gave up, looking away.

Arvin realized that something was wrong. It was common to see Y/N walking around the city, but not in these circumstances. Before she looked away, he noticed the pain in her eyes. It was no secret to him that she had a difficult relationship with her parents, but this time it was different.

For a moment the worry made him forget that they were both still in the rain and when he realized this, the boy immediately guided her to the car. When she was safely in the passenger seat, he bypassed the vehicle and took the driver's seat. Rain was no longer a problem, but the cold persisted and Arvin grabbed his jeans jacket from the back seat.

"Here." He handed it to her and Y/N mumbled a small 'thanks', wearing the jacket. "So... what happened? You are far from home. It is dangerous to go out in the middle of a storm like this..."

"My intention is to stay away from home. The storm is an extra." The girl tried to relax, hiding her real emotions but it was obvious that she was not well.

"Did you argue with your parents again?"

"I would prefer that." She replied, forcing a laugh. Getting into an argument with her parents was common for her and seemed small compared to what actually happened. But what really happened was suffocating her. "I can tell you everything, r-right?"

"You know you can." Arvin said, holding her hand. The simple contact made their hearts accelerate and Y/N was grateful to have him by her side.

Feeling encouraged, she began to tell what happened at the church. The fact that her parents insisted that the devil was inside her, made Arvin angry. He never understood what the problem was with Mr. and Mrs. Henson about this. Y/N was not sick. All she needed was love and they never gave it to her.

Y/N didn't want to delve into the details of her conversation with the new preacher, but Arvin heard the fear in her voice when she mentioned his name. She said he was good with words, and very persuasive. He easily won her trust and that was her worst mistake. Arvin stopped listening when she said that the man's hands disappeared under the dress she was wearing. Anger consumed him quickly, making his blood boil and he clapped his hands on the steering wheel. With a vision blurred by tears, Y/N looked at him with concern. The tension was clear throughout his body; his jaw was tightly clenched and his hands were shaking as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Arvin always had an explosive temper – paternal inheritance –, especially when the people he cared about were hurt.

"The preacher will never touch you again. I promise." He stated with conviction, bringing his attention back to Y/N. She looked tired, crying silently and the boy opened his arms for her to snuggle against his chest. Playing with a lock of her hair, he said: "I always knew there was something wrong with him. I should be there for you..."

"It's okay, Arvin. I'll be fine and I'll forget what happened... I just need to stay away from the church. This is easy for me." Y/N knew it wouldn't be so easy, but to calm him down, everything was welcome.

"You cannot protect him."

"I am not protecting him, but I know you..." She murmured softly, running a hand over his chest. "My life is a mess, you are the only one who believes in me. So, I'm just asking you not to do anything stupid... Because... Because I need you here." Arvin relaxed at her words. It was nice to know that she wanted him around in this difficult time. Y/N would have his support forever. And his love. For her sake, he decided to act with caution, but this does not mean that Teagardin will not suffer the consequences of his actions.

With undisclosed feelings, they remained embraced, just enjoying each other's company. It had been a long day. Arvin remembered the fallen tree in the middle of the road, forcing him to take the long way home, but that path brought him to Y/N. He was happy that it was he who found her in the middle of this storm.

"You need to rest. I will take you home." The boy broke the silence and Y/N moved away from him, shaking her head.

"No! I don't want to go home! My parents... they go..."

"I'll take you to my house." Arvin said, catching her cheek with his hand and watching the panic disappear from her eyes. With a smile, he added: "Grandma misses you."

• a/n: This is the first fic I publish here and I'm very nervous!! (Possibly I will do a second part of this) Btw, criticism is welcome!!

(CHAPTER TWO HERE)

[shania-twain]

au. the met.

She caught his eye from across the way. He was leaning against a column, looking at her curiously.

Used to men staring at her, she quirked a brow at him and he shook his head slightly, looking away. His cheeks were pink from embarrassment. She found that a little endearing. Usually men didn't give a shit if they were caught ogling her.

Amanda is enthusiastically greeted by her friend Lara with a kiss on the cheek and a friendly hug. Over Lara's shoulder, she spots the tall man again. He's turned slightly and she takes the opportunity to study his side profile, her interest piqued. A quick glance to his hands to check for a wedding ring and she's excited to find it bare. His hair is gray, but she likes the silver fox look. Face clean shaven, body lean and a lopsided, closed mouth smile.

"How are you liking the gallery so far? Isn't it neat?" Lara interrupted her thoughts and Amanda tried to focus on her friend. "Find any pieces you like?"

"I like most of 'em," she answered with a small shrug. Her first time at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City was uneventful, as she wasn't the biggest fan of art pieces. Though she chalked it up to never having been to a real museum like this and her parent's lack of interest in taking her and her sister anywhere cultured.

Her friend Lara dragged her here with a promise to return her to her hometown in Georgia "a sophisticated lady." She had scoffed at that, but agreed to go, glad to have a reason to dress up nicely.

With it being her last night in New York, she wanted to have a nice dinner and then maybe a bar afterwards with a group of her friends from college. They had been at the museum for nearly an hour and she was ready to go. She could use a drink after another full day of activity. She was really dreading the flight home tomorrow.

"Hey," Lara told her, taking her out of her thoughts. Her friend probably sensed her discomfort by the way she had her arms crossed, but really she was just chilly. "Let's go say goodbye to Steven and then we can get an early dinner. Sound good?"

Amanda nodded, smiling pleasantly as Lara began to lead her over to a friend of hers she had been introduced to earlier. Catching the gaze of the stranger again, she watched him curiously this time. He doesn't look away, even goes so far as to send her a small, friendly grin, dimples in his cheeks. She thought he was damn adorable.

She briefly wished she was alone so she could approach him without ditching her friend.

She watched him try and smoothly break their gaze by pretending to be interested in a painting nearby. She let out a laugh as he placed his large hand on his chin, feigning contemplation on the artwork. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, seeing her smile flirtatiously at him. He swore his heart jumped at the sight.

She was beautiful. Sexy in every way. Her long legs were accentuated by red heels. She wore a white dress that complimented her figure and hugged her curves. His eyes didn't miss the plunging neckline either. Her hair was golden, styled on her head and flowing in waves down her back. She was elegant, classy, and had a smile as bright as the sun.

Noticing that she seemed to be leaving with a girl friend, he felt himself moving toward the exit. He hoped to have some sort of interaction with her, somehow.

He found her outside the museum, shivering, her friend nowhere to be found. Taking a deep breath, he casually walked up to her.

"Hi," he said, trying not to sound too eager. He was shoulder to shoulder to her, though she was a tad bit shorter than him in the heels.

She glanced up at him, a surprised look on her face. He felt his own face flush at the delighted smile on her lips. She detected an accent from him, a smidge different from the regular New York one she had been hearing for days. "Hi," she said.

She had a deep southern accent. It may have been the first time he ever thought it was adorable. He may already be a little biased, though.

"Did you friend ditch you?" He looked around and didn't find the other woman she had been with.

"Nah, she's still inside," she said, gesturing behind her to the building. "Ran into someone. I told her I'd wait out here."

He smirked at her slightly bouncing in place, clearly freezing. "Ya regrettin' that?"

"I'm fine," Amanda defended, rocking on her heels now.

Sonny found himself taking off his jacket and offering it to her. She raised both eyebrows so high, he almost laughed.

"Thanks, but you're a stranger."

He held the jacket over one arm, holding out his hand to her. "I'm Dominick, nice to meet you."

When she took his hand and shook it, she shivered for a different reason. His hold was light, hand warm, his eyes gentle and soft on hers. "Amanda."

Letting go of her hand, he offered his jacket again with a dimpled grin. "Now we're not strangers. Take it while you wait, it's fine."

She still looked doubtful but she did grab it. She was shivering in front of this handsome man and it was embarrassing. "I didn't know it could be so cold in April." As she slipped the large jacket over her shoulders, she gave him a look. "Sure you're not a serial killer?"

At his nod, she left the jacket on, eyeing his professional suit underneath. His blue tie had polka dots on it and she got the sense that he wasn't like the guys she was usually attracted to. "I'm a criminal prosecutor."

Impressed, she lifted a brow again. "So you've been in the room with serial killers?"

He laughed and she found herself mesmerized with the sight of his eyes crinkling. "Not very much, I usually prosecute sex crimes."

"Oh, wow," she said in surprise, "that's gotta be a damn hard job."

"It is," he said honestly. "What do you do?"

She tugged his jacket closer to her, smelling the cologne inside of it. "I'm a social worker. I help kids in difficult domestic situations at home. Among other things."

Her eyes held something dark in them, he noticed, as she told him this information and he thought maybe she could find the same darkness in his. She stepped closer to him, excusing it for the body heat and not the way he smelled and the way he looked at her. Like she was something more. As if she could offer something more than just a body.

"That's incredible," he smiled, "you must be a hero to those kids."

She shook her head humbly. "They're amazing kids. It's wonderful to see kids in awful situations thrive despite the odds against them."

Amanda couldn't believe she was opening up in any way to this man. A stranger, no less. But she figured he could understand, as he's probably seen troublesome things in his own line of work.

"Anyway," she tried to lighten the subject, "back home people don't believe in these kids enough. I want to help them as much as I can."

Smiling softly at her, he asked, "where's home?"

"Georgia," she answered, waving her hand, "small town."

"Amanda!" A voice called out and she turned to see Lara waving at her from the entrance, the person she had been talking to still at her side. Amanda waved back and turned her attention back to Dominick.

"I think she wants me over there," she told him. She started sliding the jacket off but he stopped her.

"Keep it," he said, "I have plenty, trust me."

"Oh, no, I'll be fine," she reassured. He was about to tell her again not to worry about it when her friend walked up.

"Hey," Lara said, looking him up and down. "Who's this?"

"Lara, this is Dominick," Amanda introduced, "we kinda just met."

"Oh," Lara blinked, then when she realized Amanda was wearing the man's jacket, the woman's eyes widened. "Oh!"

"Yeah," Amanda deadpanned, slightly amused. Lara caught the hint Amanda was giving with her eyes and gestured back to her friend. "I'm gonna - forgot to tell them something."

Dominick watched her friend walk away, also amused. He didn't catch Amanda taking something out of her red wallet.

"Hey, so," Amanda said, capturing his attention again. Her eyes were gorgeous. Light, bright pools of blue he could drown in. "I'm actually leaving for Georgia tomorrow."

Ah, damn.

He couldn't even pretend to hide his disappointment. He really thought he might have had a chance with her. Or at least even one date.

"But," she said, pressing her lips together to keep from smiling at his obvious disappointment. "I'll be coming back for a visit pretty soon. Maybe you can show me around?"

Grinning widely at her, Dominick enthusiastically agreed. Amanda could feel butterflies swarm inside her at his excitement. She had never encountered a man quite like him before.

"Amanda, you ready?" Lara called again, from a distance, this time alone. Amanda sighed as she had to part with him, wanting to know more about him but she had made plans already with others.

"It was great meetin' you," she told him in her charming accent.

"Yeah," he stumbled over his words, not quite ready to let her go yet. But he knew he had to. "Yeah, definitely."

She smiled brightly again, taking his jacket off and handing it to him. He took it numbly. "Call me." He watched her walk away, hips swaying, heels clacking against the pavement as her and a friend got into a cab further down the street.

It wasn't until she was out of his sight that he realized he didn't have her number. Cursing to himself, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Why didn't he get her last name? Why?

How many Amanda's in Georgia could there be?

Grumbling, completely irritated, and feeling like a moron, he put his jacket back on. He harshly shoved his hands in his pockets when he felt something in his left pocket. Taking it out, he noticed with extreme delight it was a business card.

Amanda Rollins - Social worker. With a phone number at the bottom.

He smiled.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Do you think Henrik ever tried to anglicize his name? Henrik to Henry or something? To fit in? Thought about this after realizing again that Connie & Jac both go exclusively by nicknames. I know it's not the same thing but. you get me?

I've actually always thought the opposite (though it's been a while since I last got to talk about this, so I'm glad to have the opportunity to discuss it again!).

I mean, I could see him having tried to anglicize it as a kid at boarding school. That would make sense to me (*points at what I've written before in my fic, about him being "the awkward, foreign, Jewish boy" in a school full of English Christian kids*). But in his adult life I think he's spent a lot of time using being Swedish as a sort of... shield, I guess. If that makes sense. It's all 'look at me, look at me, I'm from Sweden, we do things differently there, I'm an ~outsider~ in your country, aren't I interesting'.

Like, how he introduced himself to Roxanna at Rigden comes to mind. "Henrik Hanssen. From Sweden. Where we drink, migrate, and pickle things - in no particular order." Interestingly he really pushed the whole Swedish thing when he first turned up at Holby as well, so he seems to play it up more with new people/environments. It seems to be one of the first things he establishes.

I think that's because it's almost a sort of self-protection tactic. Get the whole "I'm foreign" thing out of the way first and then people will assume that he is the way he is because he's from a different country, rather than because of his trauma + undiagnosed autism combo.

Hence why he freaked out as hard as he did when Maja turned up at the hospital in Never Let Me Go. (He doesn't freak out nearly as much in Hanssen/Hemingway in comparison, and that's the episode where he sees her for the first time since abandoning her when she was pregnant 25 years prior!)

I mean, I also think there was an aspect of not wanting people to learn anything about his personal life, but part of it seems to be that he feels like he's being exposed. Like the rest of the staff meeting Maja and realising that she's a perfectly normal person would quickly make his "I'm weird because I'm Swedish" excuse fall apart. Like they'll realise that he's "broken".

To the point they actually have Maja say: "In Sweden, we are far less formal. Unless you're like Henrik, who always was a stickler for the rules - even as a student!" And Henrik looks extremely uncomfortable when she says it.

I think Henrik accepted pretty quickly that he doesn't fit in, so instead he more sort of tries to... not fit in, but in a socially acceptable way? Because, like, if people assume that his behaviour is a cultural thing, then that makes it seem more acceptable, or even cool. And he prefers being seen as a mysterious, fascinating outsider than a weird, broken one.

[doyelikehaggis]

Twelve Days of Rarepairs: Allydia | Allison Argent x Lydia Martin (Teen Wolf)

Requested by @wonderdoves

Hosting a Christmas party is not something Allison ever really planned to do. She just figured that if parties happened to be going on, and she got an invite, she'd go. But throwing one herself? Absolutely not, for many levels of reasons.

Then again, she supposes she isn't throwing it herself. Technically it's not even her party, really—Lydia wanted to throw one, but her mom said no, so she asked to borrow Allison's house. Her dad's out of town with Melissa and won't be back until Christmas day, and her aunt Kate's flight was delayed, so she's still stuck in the airport for the next twenty-four hours or so. Leaving tonight totally free.

For the best, too. Right now, Allison can't even find her way through her own house. She knew it was big, but she didn't realize just how big until nearly a hundred people were crammed inside of it. And that's just a guess.

"Oh—sorry, excuse me," Allison apologizes as she knocks into someone with her shoulder while trying to wind her way past without spilling the cup in her hand. 

The person ignores her. She just hurries on, taking a drink. Honestly, she isn't that thirsty, but she needed something to do to feel less awkward and out of place. Plus, Lydia made the punch, and it's surprisingly good when it doesn't have the secret ingredient of wolfsbane. 

She narrowly avoids tripping over someone else's foot, stumbling slightly. When she turns back around, she spots Lydia quickly approaching. 

Allison breathes a sigh of relief and stops in front of a rather annoyed looking Lydia. 

"So, I've not only lost all of our friends in here somewhere, but I'm also ninety percent sure I've lost control of this thing entirely," Lydia tells her. 

"Fantastic." 

Allison moves a strand of hair away from her face, blowing out a breath. 

"Well," she starts, letting her hand swing back to her side, "it could be worse, right? I mean, nothing is totally out of control, and everyone's having fun?"

Lydia raises an eyebrow. "Except you. And now me."

Allison rolls her eyes. "I'm not… not having fun. It is kind of nice to be able to relax a little. At least compared to what we're usually dealing with."

Lydia just gives a little hum in agreement, still not looking entirely sure as she surveys the shouting group hovering near them in the kitchen. 

"Here—" Allison holds out her cup, nodding her head at it, "—have a drink. It might help."

"I'm stressed, not dehydrated," Lydia replies, but she still accepts the offer and takes a drink. "Though maybe a little bit of that, too. Thanks. I'm just glad I found you."

A small smile curves Allison's mouth. She tries to ignore the slight flush of warmth in her face. She knows Lydia just means because she's worried about the party getting out of control and she doesn't want to be separated with strangers. But it still makes her a little bit happier to think she brings her some comfort. That feeling of safety that Allison gets every time she catches a glimpse of strawberry blond hair or that smile or their eyes lock across a room. 

The eyes she quickly realizes she's been gazing at for a moment too long. 

Snapping out of it, she quickly looks away, swallowing. Her heart thumps against her ribs accusingly. It's silenced when her eyes dart up.

Oh. 

"What?" Lydia asks, spotting her expression, now fixed on the doorway above them. Frowning, she follows her line of sight before Allison can stop her. 

She sees the sprig of mistletoe. One of many that they hung throughout the house, as insisted upon by Stiles when he and Scott came over to help them get the party ready.

"Oh," Lydia says.

Allison's gaze drops back to Lydia. She just stares up at the mistletoe with wide eyes, her lips parted as if to speak, but the words are getting lost on the way out. 

"I guess we should have expected something like this," Allison jokes, giving a half shrug and a forced chuckle. Trying to disguise how pink her face must be right now and keep the butterflies in her stomach calm. 

Lydia shifts her eyes from their captor to meet Allison's gaze. She presses her lips together, chewing on her lower lip. For a second, Allison thinks she's going to say how it's just some dumb, old tradition, and that she is not going to be a part of keeping something so pointless alive.

But she doesn't say that. She doesn't say anything. Doesn't make a getaway excuse. Her throat shifts as she swallows and takes a deep breath.

Then in a rushed exhale, she says, "You know, hanging mistletoe in a doorway comes from a Norse legend."

Allison's heart sinks. She nods, and smiles. She promised herself that if Lydia didn't show any sign of sharing her feeling by the end of the night, she'd let it go and move on. And reciting a Norse myth seems like a desperate attempt to get out of kissing her without just rejecting her. Even if it would be unknowingly. 

"Yeah," Allison says. "The, uh… the legend of Balder. Loki tricked Balder's twin brother into murdering him with mistletoe wood."

Lydia looks startled that she already knows. But surely that gives her an easy out then, right? 

"Yeah! Yeah, um…" Lydia doesn't move. She still stands there, glued to the spot, back to chewing at her bottom lip. Her face lights up, and she quickly says, "Well, uh, there are other legends, of course! People tend to mix them up with holly, because they look so similar, so people think that red berries mean mistletoe when, actually, they're quite different. And everyone knows that mistletoe is usually extremely toxic, to both humans and animals. As we know… from past experience."

Allison's just staring at Lydia, her eyebrows raised. She thought she knew where this was going. This? This is not it. Before she can say anything, Lydia's continuing her rambling, at such high speeds it's almost hard to keep up.

"It's toxicity actually varies quite a bit based on region, though, which—"

"Lydia," Allison starts. "We don't—"

"—can actually be really interesting!"

"Lydia."

"There are many different types of mistletoe, with different scientific names. Viscum album, viscum cruciatum, even Phoradendron leucarpum, which is native to North America!"

"That's—that's really interesting, but—"

"Viscum album—the European mistletoe—is more toxic than Phoradendron serotinum, which is the kind that we're most familiar with."

"Oh, that's—I mean—"

"And, despite the fact that all one-thousand-five-hundred types of mistletoe are toxic in most situations, it used to be used for medicinal purposes to treat things like arthritis, epilepsy! It's still used in parts of South Asia, because the effects aren't fatal. Disturbing and, frankly, unpleasant, but not fatal! In fact, the effects tend to be more prominent in animals. Which, wouldn't be good for any of our friends. But—"

"Lydia," Allison finally cuts her off. Her eyebrows are as far as they can be on her forehead. "You're rambling a bunch of scientific facts to me, and honestly, it's a little scary."

Lydia nods, pressing her lips together again. "Yeaaah. Sorry."

Allison pauses, thinking, this is her one opportunity, there will never be a better time, and—Lydia isn't running away. She's nervous rambling science to her. But she's not using her usual methods of getting out of something she doesn't want to do. 

Shutting her brain off before she can overthink it, she goes for it.

"I want to kiss you," she tells Lydia. "If you don't want to kiss me, that's fine, we can ignore the mistletoe entirely and move on. Okay?"

The blunt confessions throws Lydia off her usually perfect guard. She blinks those wide eyes, her lips parting but nothing coming out. 

"Uh, y-yeah," she fumbles out, then shakes her head, "I mean—I'm okay with it. Kissing you, I'm okay with kissing you—that sounds so lame, oh my god—I want to kiss you, too!"

"Okay," Allison laughs, and leans in. 

Her skin is on fire before her lips find Lydia's, and her stomach is doing olympic style flips when she does kiss her, and Lydia's kissing back with an eagerness she definitely wasn't expecting. 

If anything, she was certain it'd be a quick, funny peck on the lips, and that's it over and done with, just a fun little moment to laugh about. But Lydia doesn't pull away, and Allison is not going to be the one to pull away first. 

Instead, they keep kissing. Lips moving together, Lydia's hands on the sides of Allison's neck, holding her closer. 

Next second, someone bumps into them. They break apart out of surprise, Lydia trying not to spill Allison's drink. The person's already stumbled away.

They both look back at each other, Allison's heart in her throat, and Lydia's eyes widening again. She draws her tongue across her bottom lip as she clearly falters for what to say now, but it's actually incredibly distracting.

"So…" Lydia starts, uncertain. Then a small smile forms at the corners of her mouth. "You wanted to kiss me? Any particular reason? Is it because of my lipgloss? It is especially appealing tonight, extra shiny."

Allison can't help but smile at Lydia's teasing tone. It appears her nerves have fluttered off and left behind her usual cool, calm composure.

"That is one reason," Allison says, nodding, and Lydia gives a curious little hum, arching an eyebrow. "But also… because I've wanted to kiss you for a while. Because I really like you. A lot."

"Yeah, I think I got that," Lydia says, barely containing the shake of laughter in her voice and absolutely failing at disguising the sparkle of delight in her eyes. "I just cannot believe that you confessed before I did. And under the mistletoe."

Allison can't even begin to comprehend the "before I did" part. She just laughs as well, shaking her head and faking a wince.

"Wow, of all the cliches," she jokes. 

"Well, personally, I don't mind a cliche here and there," Lydia says, with a smile that makes Allison's breath catch in her throat.

She pushes it out and quickly draws in another, returning her smile as she says, "Neither do I."

[waywardfangirl]

I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

 

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean. 

 

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

 

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

 

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

 

“What?”

 

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

 

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

 

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

 

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

 

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

 

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

 

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

 

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

 

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

 

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

 

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

 

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

 

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

 

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

 

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

 

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

 

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

 

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

 

"Save me from what, exactly?"

 

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

 

"This!"

 

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

 

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

 

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

 

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

 

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

 

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

 

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

 

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

 

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

 

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

 

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

 

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

 

"But, couldn't they-"

 

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

 

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

 

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

 

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

 

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

 

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

 

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit. 

 

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

 

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

 

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

 

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

 

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

 

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

 

"Simon. I'm Simon."

 

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

 

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

 

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

 

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

 

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."

[pickledchickenetti]

(pt 1) I'm a woman and am happily married to another woman and I don't understand why everyone was so upset at Krista. She openly supports marriage equality and has defended it. She has close LGBT friends (I know having black friends doesn't make you not racist but in my experience people that have been opposed to my sexual orientation stop being friends with me) and advocates for LGBT persons to be included in the church and conservatives to accept us.

Hi friend, thanks for your thoughts! I don’t know your background, so I hope that my answer doesn’t come across as condescending or rude as that is certainly not my intention. My opinions on Krista’s stance on gay issues are strongly colored by my experiences, which I have no problem admitting. I’m sure plenty of other LGBT folks have different feelings, which is totally fine. For what it’s worth, I saw more people upset with Krista over her posts about abuse victims not remarrying after a divorce than I have over any of the LGBT posts she’s made, but I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t regularly made critical comments about her LGBT posts/stances here. 

In order to be fair to her, I decided to go back through her blog (on Tumblr, not her other blog) and re-read her posts on gay issues in order to make sure that I’m not taking other people’s comments about her or vague memories I have of old posts and projecting my own frustrations with other conservative Christians’ opinions onto Krista.. I’m going to do my best to source anything I reference via links to that post, but I apologize if I miss anything. 

I will also be focusing on issues regarding people who are sexually attracted to the same sex (using the blanket term of “gay”, which also represents bi/pan/etc.) for this post. I am cis myself, and your question references your same-sex relationship and family, so in this case it feels appropriate to stay in my lane and not offer opinions on a cis person’s stances on gender issues as another cis person. I do not mean to exclude gender nonconforming people from the overall LGBT community in any way. 

The oldest about posts I can find from Krista about anything gay-related are anons asking her opinions. I’m fairly sure that this is the first one, where she essentially gives a fairly neutral action that could be interpreted as “I don’t think being gay sends you to hell” or as “I think gay people can go to heaven too as long as they repent of that sin along with the others”. She does not make it clear what her opinion on same-sex attraction specifically is, as another anon then pointed out in this post. Does her tone in addressing the anon bother me? Yes. Does she have the right to call out people she feels are being rude to her? Also yes. 

Early on in the post she says “First, you missed out on a lot of people. It’s actually LGBTQIAAP.” (likely referencing the anon saying LGBTQIA), and it’s just a personal pet peeve of mine for straight people to try to act like they have any authority on things like the acronym, but I realize that that’s just me and she also has no way of knowing the anon’s sexuality so perhaps it was one straight person (sarcastically) informing another straight person of a perceived shortcoming. Perhaps not. She then goes on to defend her refusal to give a “straightforward answer” by, in my opinion, continuing to dodge the question. 

Further down she brags that she “was actually named best advocate at a national moot court competition this past year arguing that Title VII protects against sexual orientation discrimination”. Now maybe I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that moot courts aren’t typically events where you’re expected to defend your own personal beliefs, but events where you are assigned a stance and have to argue it regardless of what you believe. If that’s the case, mentioning that is irrelevant. If it is not the case and she was able to choose that stance, bragging about it for some sort of ally point is, in my opinion, arrogant. 

She ends the post by saying that her LGBT friends “are entitled to all of the rights, privileges, and safeties that I enjoy as a straight woman. Who you love and who you’re attracted to does not change your place in society or the rights that you have or opportunities you should be able to pursue.” Sure, your sexual orientation SHOULDN’T change your place in society or your rights, but it DOES. It absolutely does, and to say that LGBT folks are entitled to the same rights as straight women is, at best, misguided. Krista is a lawyer who has, in theory, interacted with multiple members of the LGBT community, so she should realize that regardless of what should or shouldn’t be true, LGBT still DON’T have the same rights as her in many states, and even in states where legally we have the same rights we still live with fears she will never experience. 

As for the claim that Krista is “not only tolerant of my family but accepting” and that she “accepts me and defends my rights”, here are my thoughts. I don’t want to be tolerated. If you’re cool with just being tolerated then more power to you, but as someone who is merely tolerated by a number of Christians, it really hurts and feels extremely de-humanizing. I do feel that “tolerates” is an accurate word for Krista’s stances on gay people (with the possible exception of the gay friends she claims to have). I do not feel that Krista “defends” gay people and our families beyond her belief that she is legally obligated to uphold the law. She has said that she is “totally fine with gay couples adopting”, which is a positive. She has also said she feels families with same-sex couples should be treated like “any other couple”, which again, is a positive. I guess I just don’t feel like that’s the same as defending. She recently admitted that she has never voted for a Democrat, and while I understand why someone from Vermont might see third-party candidates as viable (because in many Vermont races they are), she has to realize that voting third-party for president is throwing away your vote in the current political climate. Beyond voting, what is she actually DOING to “defend” gay people? Nothing she has ever said makes me think she’s using her privilege to truly defend us to her conservative Christian circles. Unless proven otherwise, I can’t help but feel that she’s able to talk a (vague) big game about being supportive without actually doing any supporting. 

I have recently said that it is my belief that she thinks gay sex/acting on same-sex attractions is sinful, even if our marriages should be legal. I will admit that I formed that opinion largely based on a private conversation I had with her, and which I will not share publicly without her permission. In going through old posts, I came across this post, which I feel also supports this opinion. An anon says that they can’t see any good qualities to overcome “when the thing they disagree with is gay rights/gay marriage/that being gay is a sin”, and that they’d “say the same about someone who identified as a Nazi or a white supremacist”. In Krista’s response, she literally says “But, by the same token, you and I are talking right now, and hopefully, I’m not reminding you of a Nazi”. That statement seems to imply that she falls into at least one of those categories or else why would she remind the anon of a Nazi? In another post she also says that “I do believe that all people are responsible for their sexual BEHAVIOR”, which seems to imply that there is something sinful about sexual behavior between people of the same sex. 

If we want to get down to it, this is the post that was the cause of my initial feeling that Krista was not a safe person for gay people. If someone asks you if you think being LGBTQ+ is a sin and your answer is to tell them they are trying to “stir division”, it is only fair to assume that you think they won’t like your answer. If I ask someone their belief on that subject, I am asking because I want to know their opinion. This anon echoes the same sentiment. If she’s really worried about “stirring division” she should have just ignored the question. 

To anyone still reading at this point, thanks for sticking it out with me. Honestly Krista’s recent posts (paired with some events in my life offline) have really got me thinking, and I have a lot of things weighing on me. I’m glad that you are able to feel that as long as she believes you deserve the same rights as she does it’s fine. I hope you continue to feel safe in that. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t that lucky. Many of us have lived too much of our lives feeling disgusting and broken and worthless because of teachings that that same God she worships and we were brought up to worship disapproves not only of any relationships we have, but of an inherent part of who we are. The biggest reason that I continue to speak out against Krista’s posts is because I just need any scared or confused young gay teenagers in the church to know that they don’t have to settle for being tolerated, and no matter who thinks they’re sinning, they’re not. 

Krista’s posts (in the context of the rest of the blog) would have devastated me at one time in my life. When I speak out against them, I’m usually saying the sorts of things I wish someone would have said to me then.

[ketso]

Episode 29

I hate my job. Truly, I do. I should have never resigned from Thomas' company. People valued me more when I was there. Now, I am an executive, but I get treated like trash. I hate it. I hate everyone here.

I never take lunch because I don't want anyone thinking we are friends or that we should lunch together. None of these people are worth me having lunch with. But today, I need some air. I need to breathe in a different kind of environment because if I stay a minute longer in my office, hell will break loose around here.

I get into my car to go get lunch then plan to go eat with the one person I can tolerate right now, Qaphela. While I drive to get food then to Qaphela, let me tell you a bit about my job.

I am an executive lead in the external affairs team. I have about seven people reporting into me then I report into a director who reports into the CEO. I have a dotted reporting line to the CEO because my line of work impacts the CEO's agenda in interviews and other public appearances. But the place is not nice. My ideas are not Bible. People are lazy to work. This is the corporate space. Who knocks off at 4pm and refuses to work before 7am? Who? They always feel the need to remind me that they take wellness and well-being seriously. I never said they shouldn't. Not once has an objection toward wellness and wellbeing come out of mouth. But we have customers that don't care about wellness and wellbeing, they expect us to deliver. We have key stakeholders in other companies and in the government that expect us to be available for meaningful engagement when needed. This company is known in our industry for dropping the ball. This company is notorious for having slow service delivery. I'm not saying it's because they take wellness and wellbeing seriously. All I'm saying is that even I am frustrated by them and I'm not a customer or a stakeholder.

So, I, Pearl Shange, put in the hours that nobody wants to put in. I am the most knowledgeable executive in the department and my team has the honour of having the toughest boss in the business. But we deliver. I put in the work and I don't complain. The CEO has me on speed dial and has learned to trust me more than he trusts my director which now has caused a rift between my director and I.

"To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?" Qaphela asks me as he opens the door for me.

"I come bringing lunch. I hope you still like braaied meat and that entire unhealthy diet sold at Solly's corner because I just spent quite a bit of my time walking through drunk unemployed people at midday, waiting for this food and risking my car being scratched", he is already in stitches as I say this. I'm glad he finds it funny.

"Nobantu, you are not human, wena. Come in", he says as he leads me into the house.

I come in and close the door using my bum because this man whose supposed to be a perfect gentleman has not taken all this food from my arms. I mean really. Am I supposed to teach him that?

I make my way to the kitchen and put the food on the kitchen counter. He has disappeared into the house, not sure to where. I plug the kettle and start getting plates out. I bought my own coffee because Qaphela is the Ricoffy type and honestly, I need the strong and good stuff. If I were not headed back to the office after this, I would be having whiskey.

I am exhausted.

I start dishing up this meat that has been braaied. I got him pap which I dish onto his plate, but I got myself garlic rolls because I am not prepared to be running off pap in the morning. My morning runs are already tough in all those heels in Umhlanga.

I hear arguing. Hai bo, kanti Qaphela has company? Also, I'm not fazed. I'm not going anywhere. I need company and Qaphela will do for now. I would have sex with him too, but now that I know that his penis was in another woman minutes before I arrived, that opportunity immediately flies out of the window.

I see a girl march down the passage. Really, Qaphela? Seriously? This girl and I used to be friends back in the day. She's even ashamed to look at me and I plan to make this as uncomfortable as possible for her. I left to go to Gauteng and she feasted on my baby-daddy? A friend, ladies and gentlemen - a friend.

"Nobantu", she says, breaking the silence between us.

Should I be petty? Nah, my outfit, my beauty and the car parked outside is reminder enough for her that I'm ten levels ahead of her and all she has left are my leftovers.

"Hello, Sizakele", I say.

"It’s good to see you", she says.

"I can't say the same about you, considering where we are bumping into each other", I say. Yeah, I decided to be petty. But she doesn't back down.

"I thought you had the Venda man and Qaphela was useless. I didn't think that you'd care that some of us found him useful", she says.

"And I didn't think that my friend was patiently waiting for me to leave KZN so she would jump on my boyfriend's penis. Then again, you've always enjoyed my left overs. From my left over food to my old bras that I'd give to you while your mother took your grocery money, underwear money and school fees money to spend on alcohol." I say. I don't know why I took it there, but I did. KZN makes me so angry. There is something here that just makes me a horrible person.

"You still here?" Qaphela comes into the kitchen and sees the staring match between Sizakele and I.

"Lalela la wena Nobantu, Qaphela and I are together. I don't know what you came back for, but it better not have been for him", she says. Oh please. Get the fuck out of here. If I want Qaphela, I'd have him. I wish women realized how they actually dare us to explore their penises when they threaten us, demanding us to stay away from their men. I made that mistake with Thomas and all his other bitches. Qaphela and I have a child together and Sizakele thinks she can control my access in Qaphela's life. I'm actually laughing at her because she is so pathetic.

"You think this is funny?" She asks me.

"I find your audacity extremely hilarious. You are the one that Qaphela is kicking out barefooted and wig uncombed while I'm the one preparing food in his kitchen. Yet, you think you can tell me what to do around him?" I say.

She charges at me ready to hit me and Qaphela throws her over his shoulder and takes her out of the house. They argue on the streets while I finish preparing food and coffee.

Such ghetto behaviour!

Qaphela comes back into the house alone and sits next to me where I have placed his coffee and food. Black Coffee with cream. I'm putting him on.

"Nobantu, you can't do that. I respect you as the mother of my child, but you can't disrespect my girlfriend like that", he says.

He should have said that when she was still here. He disrespected her, not me.

"I don't want to talk about Sizakele." I say.

"Nobantu -

"How are you feeling, Qaphela? You look a lot better", I say.

"I am a lot better, thank you. And thanks for taking me to the doctor the other day. I appreciate it", he says.

I nod my head and eat. He is eating too.

"So what brings you here?" He asks me.

"I don't really like my work environment. I needed some air and a friendly face. I thought of you", I say.

"What’s wrong with where you work?" He asks me. He has always been good at this - at listening to me. Thomas never listened to me. Ever. I miss being listened to.

"I guess I took for granted being the CEO's wife when I was working at Thomas' company. Now, I'm just another employee who gets abused at work and my knowledge as well as the work I put in is not appreciated", I say.

"It’s corporate, Nobantu. The only time your work is appreciated is if someone is benefitting from it. If you are one of those who have thankless jobs, you are replaceable. You were replaceable at your ex-husband's company. What makes you think you are irreplaceable in a stranger's company?" He says. That cuts me and he sees it.

He eats instead of apologizing.

"I'm worried about Gcina", I tell him.

He looks at me, waiting for me to elaborate.

"Gcina is irresponsible. She doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. She couldn't get a matric just to start her off. She lacks vision and ambition. I'm worried that she has decided ukuthi this is the rest of her life."

Qaphela looks at me for a long time, analysing me almost.

Then he says, "Nobantu, you left her with your parents when she was a toddler. She doesn't even remember you being a mother to her. I'm not saying that she shouldn't take responsibility for her decisions, but I'm wondering when you are going to acknowledge the part that you played in messing her up."

"The part that I played?"

"The part that you played, Nobantu. You went to Gauteng and forgot all about your child. She had to get over it, on her own. Her life froze when you decided to go out there and be a wife to a man who wanted nothing to do with your child. You deprived her of having a mother and she just had to figure shit out. You have no right to judge her ten minutes after you come back here and decide to be her mother so many years later. Where was this concern when you were –

"Don’t you dare! I took care of Gcina! There is nothing that Gcina lacked and I made sure of it. I sent her to the best schools and she managed to get herself expelled from those schools. I made sure that she was fed! That she had everything I would have never been able to give her had I not married Thomas because unlike uGcina, my parents did not make sure that I had the best to set me up for the rest of my life. I needed a Thomas to pull me out of the shit that my parents left me in so that my daughter could have more", I have lost my temper now and so has he. This is a screaming match.

"Money is not everything, Nobantu", he says.

"That’s very rich coming from you. You are the same person who left me pregnant at fifteen to go get money so our child and I could be okay, then went to prison. You were absent from our lives too because you chose money over being there for me through my pregnancy and when our daughter was born." I say. This hurts him.

We both take deep breaths, appreciating that perhaps this is not how this conversation should be going.

"I want better for her. She can still change her life and I want her to change her life." I say. I am calm now, walking around in the TV room. Qaphela stands up too and leans against a wall, facing me.

"I want that for her, too" he says.

"I have trusts set up in her name that she is supposed to be accessing by now. I want to buy her a car so she could drive my mom around and do errands for you. But she doesn't even have a license. I have millions set aside for her to study abroad and she can barely finish a bloody matric. Gcinumama frustrates me, Qaphela", I say.

"We can still fix this, but we have to be gentle with her. She's a bit on the fragile side", he says.

"She already hates me so I'm not scared of her. One of us has to treat her like the irresponsible adult that she is. You, on the other hand, she has you wrapped around her little finger", I say.

"Fine. But if you are going to pick that fight with her, you need to be woman enough to acknowledge the part that you played in fucking her up. Don't become your parents, Nobantu. You hurt for years because of them and you took forever to heal because they wouldn't acknowledge how much they fucked you up. Don't become them. Gcina deserves for you to acknowledge the pain that you caused her so that she can heal and move on in a way that you still struggle to because the people who caused your pain have not given you the apology that you need to heal and move on." He says.

We have a moment. I'm getting emotional. He is there for me like he always was when I ran away from home after my parents -

My cellphone rings. I wipe my tears and walk away from him, realizing only now how close he was to me and how close we were to doing so much more than just argue about Gcina. It is my CEO calling.

"Hello", me.

"Hey, Pearl. Where are you? I need you in a strategy meeting taking place at 5pm today. Will you be able to make it?"

"Sure, Richard, I'll be there" I say.

"Thanks. I was in your office to let you know, but I see you are not here", Richard says.

"I had stepped out to get something to eat. But I'll be back soon", I say.

"Alright. See you when you get back", Richard says then hangs up.

Qaphela and I look at each other, silently appreciating what just happened between us.

"You need to get a job", I say.

"No one on this earth is good enough to be the boss of me. I'm almost back in shape and I'm headed back to crime", he says.

"Until when, Qaphela? Why don't you take the money you've made so far and start something legitimate?" I say.

"Why? So you can be the CEO's wife again? That's your life, not mine. And you not my wife so stop telling me what to do. You are not going to change or control me. That's probably why that Venda man left you." He says. That was just unnecessary, honestly. Fuck him.

I wear my heels again then walk out of his parents' house then make my way back to the office.

[the-sapphire-general]

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 2)

There was originally going to be just one part about what I think and feel about Sephiroth, but it turns out I have more to say than I thought I did. You can say I'm passionate about Sephiroth. Not a day goes by without at least thinking about him several times. Lol Anyway, if you haven't read my previous post, here's the link because I will describe things I have said in the first part in more detail.

My Thoughts and Feelings About Sephiroth (Part 1)

As I mentioned before, I can identify with Sephiroth. At first I didn't consider him an idol considering how different we are, but I realized about the similarities we have, even if those similarities can be different. I hate mentioning my former friend, but she used to be someone that took advantage of me, a lot of the time without my knowledge. So I know how Sephiroth must have felt after discovering that everyone lied to him about his origins. Now his situation was extreme compared to mine, but the key thing is we were both betrayed somehow. It's difficult to handle, and we both took it hard, with Sephiroth taking it farther than me. Betrayal, whether big or small or somewhere in between the two, isn't pleasant, especially if those who betray you are people you thought you could trust. I know what that's like, and it's not an easy thing to just brush off as if it were nothing.

To further prove how Sephiroth and I are similar is our personality traits. For starters, we are both quiet. Now it's hard to tell online if someone is shy or outgoing, but believe me, I'm one quiet girl. I'm real timid in real life. I don't think Sephiroth was timid, and I bet he was just sheltered growing up. Be honest. Hojo sucked as a father, and Sephiroth wasn't treated like a human being. So Sephiroth may have been socially awkward, which can appear as timidity or coldness. I'm timid and I can get a bit anxious, but I hide it really well. I'm not a social butterfly, and neither is Sephiroth, but that doesn't mean I'm purposefully ignoring others. It's just I'm not good at socializing. I am socially awkward myself and people have to get to know me to know the real me. Others saw Sephiroth as cold and distant, but they didn't even try to get to know him. Angeal Hewley and Genesis Rhapsodos saw past this and became his friends. Sadly others see me as cold and distant as well, and to be honest it hurts. I bet it bothered Sephiroth as well. Or maybe he didn't care, I don't know. I'll believe that it did bother him. Of course, despite our shortcomings, Sephiroth and I do have friends (well, Sephiroth used to have friends). I may struggle to be social, but I can bond with others. I mean, hello! I have my boyfriend, his friends, my family, my own friends, and my online friends. Sephiroth had a few close friends, but at least it's something. Angeal and Genesis. I swear, if things didn't get so screwed up, they would have been best friends forever. Heck, Zack could have been a great friend to Sephiroth if he was given the opportunity. In a way, they could have helped Sephiroth back in Nibelheim, but the damage is already done.. What I'm trying to say is I understand this real well because I've been there. It just makes me want to give Sephiroth a hug and possibly a kiss to comfort him and let him know that I care. Though he might be annoyed by my affection. Lol

The next similarity we have is we're intelligent. Unfortunately a lot of people don't see me as intelligent, but Sephiroth's intelligence is what has me striving to prove to others that I am all while improving my own intelligence. They just see me as a girl with average intelligence and I was once accused of being an idiot. I wonder if Sephiroth had naysayers always doubting him. Looks can be deceiving. I'm not what others claim that I am, and it's annoying. This brings me to my next point. When Sephiroth was still part of SOLDIER, others might have perceived him as so many things, which includes being cold and distant and such. I've said this already, but this isn't just assuming that someone is cold or timid or whatever personality trait. It's about others assuming things about others that may be false. Sephiroth didn't consider himself to be better than everyone else (prior to Nibelheim of course). Heck, he didn't even show interest in fame to the point that he allowed Genesis to take it, possibly unaware that he was jealous of him. Maybe he tried to do that to ease his jealousy. Though Genesis should have handled his jealousy better. Before you assume anything about a person, either get to know the person or keep it to yourself until you see who they really are. Otherwise, it can be damaging to them. It was to Sephiroth. Something tells me all those soldiers had mixed opinions about Sephiroth, many of them potentially formed out of false assumptions and simple ignorance. Okay I'm getting too deep into this due to my own personal experiences, so I will switch to the next similarity.

Sephiroth and I hate certain people. How else can I explain my former friend that I have mentioned plus other people? Although Sephiroth took it to an extreme and hates everyone, I can still relate. Now it doesn't mean I will be as destructive and cruel as Sephiroth, but I can relate. Everyone at ShinRa treated Sephiroth like an experiment without his knowledge. He was never told about his origins. He never knew his parents. Then again, never finding out that Hojo is his father is a blessing (unless he somehow found out already?). He was deceived and manipulated ever since the day he was born. Correction, he was manipulated BEFORE he was born! He has the right to hate those who mistreated him. However, that doesn't justify any of the horrible things he did. Now my case is nothing compared to Sephiroth's since I was simply deceived by certain people, but my dislike for them is reasonable. Seriously, who would be able to let someone pretend to be your friend only to harm you emotionally and verbally, try to control you, spread lies about you, and basically destroy you? That's what my former friend did, and I hate her. All the bullies I've encountered throughout school? I hate them too. But that doesn't mean I would try to hurt them back because that wouldn't make me any better than them. I was given one opportunity to tell off my former friend online after I cut off contact for years. I told her to get well because she was sick, but she was getting better. She insulted me, not directly, but she did imply it. I was furious. But what did I do? I kept my mouth shut, told her to have a good life, and bid her farewell. Telling her everything that she made me feel and how much I loathe her would have only caused trouble, and the last thing I need is for her to stalk me online or try to pick a fight with me since she's freaking insane. She got angry over tiny things, physically assaulted someone just for being rude, as in getting into a conversation between the skank and someone else. Like what the fuck?! She could have told him to wait until she was finished. She was not psychologically well in my opinion, but I'm not one to confirm it because I'm not a psychologist. I thought she had changed but I was wrong. All my suspicions I had about her have been confirmed. Everything. And I vowed to never speak to her ever again. So Sephiroth and I may have handled our hate differently, but it still counts as something we have in common. Looking back, I see Sephiroth as an extreme version of my hate, anger, and pain, making me picture what I would have been like if I had taken it too far. It's a bit terrifying for me to imagine, and I am glad that I have more good inside me.

Now the next thing is something that still affects me to this day, and it's this. Sephiroth and I have felt like we were different, that we didn't belong anywhere. Having an identity crisis isn't fun, and Sephiroth is proof of that. He's not like everyone else. He's the only one with long silver hair and green cat-like eyes, he's part-alien, he's the strongest of all, and he always felt different because of this. I feel like I'm different because I'm not as outgoing as many people, I get worried about what others think of me, I'm not as confident in myself and my talents, and people don't pay attention to a wallflower like me. So I'm trying to improve myself and find my own place where I belong. Sephiroth found his, albeit in a rather dark way, but I have yet to find myself. But I know I will soon, and I have loved ones who can help me.

With all of this that I've said so far, Sephiroth means a lot to me. He means a lot to me more than I thought, and just by typing this, I'm realizing that he's a character that I love and admire in the exact same level as Sonic the Hedgehog. And as silly as it may sound, I get defensive when others talk smack about my favorite fictional characters like Sephiroth. Why? Because he's someone that I can identify with, regardless of the myriad of contrasting characteristics that we have. Opposites attract!

Now what else I wish to talk about related to Sephiroth...Well, there's his current self. I can hear those that say he's a cruel bastard that will kill you at first glance in milliseconds. My boyfriend and his friends think so. Well, you know what? It's bullshit. If that were true, then why didn't he kill Zack, Tifa, and Cloud immediately? Why didn't he kill Cloud and his team right away during numerous points in the game (other than the fact he needed Cloud to get the Black Materia for him)? Because he's not just a one-track mindless killing machine! This may be an unpopular opinion, but really, Sephiroth doesn't go just "Kill kill kill! Stab stab stab!". You kiss him on the cheek, stab. You compliment him on his looks, stab. You try to join him in his cause, stab. You try to have small talk, STAB! It's boring, predictable, and annoying. Do you really think I would do that on my Sephiroth blog? I would have grown tired of it! I deleted the posts about this, but do you want to know how many characters, users, or whatever I've had Sephiroth kill in roleplays???........One. That's right. One, a character that a friend roleplays as here on Tumblr, in a span of....a year-and-a-half, I think? If I had followed the "logic" of Sephiroth the utterly mindless killing machine and does nothing else, I would have had him impale over 1000 characters, users, anons, etc., maybe 10,000. You get my point.

This sort of thing strips everything about Sephiroth. He's cunning, arrogant, and manipulative, so of course I would have to implement that in his interactions if I want him to harm or kill a character, for example. And in some cases, I portray Sephiroth as just being intimidating, mistrustful, and bitter towards characters. In others, he is intrigued by who he's talking to, and he shows a range of emotions (as long as they fit him). I make him multidimensional. Really, try portraying Sephiroth as just a killing machine and nothing else and see how long it takes for you to get tired of taking out tons of people's muses in split seconds. I'm sorry if this portion became somewhat of a rant but it has been bugging me. Moving on to another Sephiroth subject.

Ahhhh, the theories. I almost forgot about them. Let's see, the lab rat theory is kind of possible, but ShinRa didn't blatantly abuse him. Otherwise, Sephiroth would have had serious psychological issues prior to Nibelheim. If he had endured severe physical and psychological abuse, he wouldn't be calm and collected. Of course he was abused to a degree, but the thing is he didn't know he was abused. He had no idea ShinRa used him as just a tool. That's clever of them. Cruel and despicable, but clever. They had to be discreet or else Sephiroth would have questioned their motives early on or tried to get away from them. Sephiroth was their puppet, which does explain why he referred to Cloud as his puppet. If others manipulated him to screw him over, he will do the same back at them. Sephiroth basically gave them a taste of their own medicine. Unfortunately, he takes it out on the whole planet. Think about it, though. He was deceived and manipulated by others, and this is his way of showing others that he will never allow himself to be controlled by anyone anymore. And this brings me to the next theory.

Jenova possessing Sephiroth is a famous theory and I don't blame people for believing and supporting this. I confess that I used to believe this theory as well, but as I looked back at the events of Crisis Core and Final Fantasy 7, it doesn't make sense. First of all, after being used by an evil company his entire life, why would Sephiroth allow himself to be controlled by an alien that arrived to the Planet millennia ago? Yes, he was at the library at ShinRa Manor for a week reading endlessly about his origins without sleeping, and possibly eating or drinking anything. Obviously that must have left him vulnerable, but I don't believe Sephiroth would have been brainwashed easily. He was controlled by ShinRa, and he wasn't going to allow anyone else to control him again, especially Jenova. Sephiroth was the one who controlled her, not the other way around. If Jenova had gained control, that would undermine Sephiroth's reputation as the main antagonist of FF7. He is the villain, the real villain, not Jenova. Sephiroth burned down Nibelheim. Sephiroth killed many people. Sephiroth killed Aeris (or Aerith) in FF7. Sephiroth summoned Meteor to injure the Planet in order to absorb its life stream to become a god. Sephiroth created the Remnants to achieve his goal to claim the Planet as his own, become an unstoppable god, and bring despair to those who stand in his way. It's all Sephiroth. And besides, Jenova is a parasite. I doubt she would have planned all of this before trying to destroy the planet. I also doubt she's even alive. Sephiroth is the master of his ongoing desire to take back what he believes is his planet, conquer it as a god, and destroy anyone who stands in his way.

Alright then, this post has gone long enough. Now I'm not sure if this is all I have to say about Sephiroth. Well, I assumed that I did’t have much else to say in the previous post, and look! Here's another one. I like doing this sort of thing. It makes me feel good and I just love Sephiroth. I could go on forever if I want, but I’ll end it here. I hope you liked this and if there’s any more things that I haven’t said here, I’ll make sure to do a third part.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: had suspected she should avoid reading adult manga so she was glad she asked and Kota confirmed her suspicions. It would save her a lot of embarrassment. “Not for me.” She agreed. “I don’t know what all they show in porn either. I have seen True Blood...they show butts and breasts. Alli and I get the giggles even though we fast forward.” She said honestly. Clare worried about getting caught watching the vampire show too but she never watched it at home. “I have a lot to learn about cooking. Sushi sounds harder to make...and I don’t like fish. I’ll make it, just don’t expect me to eat it.” Clare looked at him. “I know there’s not actually an auction. That was the only similar thing we do here that I could think of.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “You better not fall for that trick. If whatever girl you get paired up with wants a real kiss make it as gross as possible. The boys need to skirt around the rules too. Unless they get a pairing they like. Seriously though if she’s nice and you don’t want to hurt her feelings, I’m fine with a quick peck.” She reassured him again. Clare wasn’t going to get bent out of shape over a game unless it got taken too far. The image of K.C and Jenna flirting with each other right in front of her was burned into her memory forever. “I need to participate too to capture the true spirit of the Host club for the Daily.” Clare teased, grinning at Kota. “You enjoy me putting my foot in my mouth.” She mock gasped. “That’s okay if they aren’t going for realism. Besides there are some things you can’t do anything about. I mean have you seen Alli’s long thick eyelashes?” Clare laughed. She was a little jealous of them. “Yeah, good point. The kids who actually attend the school will have to do the ‘heavy lifting’. My dad explained the currency to me. A dollar equals over 111 Japanese yen. Thank god for computers to tell me what change to give.” She smiled at Kota when he said he’d follow her. “If I got pregnant, I guess we’d find a way to make it work with college. Emi will be in elementary school so only the baby would need daycare. I’d get to have a journalism career. Hopefully there won’t be a baby until we decide we want one though.” She nodded. “You have a lot of options and so do I. I know I want to go to Columbia but there’s exchange student programs there too.” Clare could go back to Japan or spend a year in another country. “Of course I expect us to visit each other if we go to different colleges. Jimmy Fallon? Really? He wants you to come on the show?” Clare asked a small note of skepticism in her voice. “I took Emi being part of the package into consideration before I said yes to dating you. The only hesitation I’ve ever had was my parents. Nothing on my end. You’re both worth it.” Clare chuckled about Canada paying the bill. “Our baby would have dual citizenship. That’s pretty cool.” She kissed Kota, only stopping to say. “Yes, if we can talk about it we might be ready for more. If we can’t, we’re definitely not ready yet.” Clare kissed him again. “Noo. No I’m going! Alli will have to settle for a t-shirt. I wouldn’t miss the mystery concert for the world. Too many what ifs for the rest of my life especially if I like them. I’d die. Also no else at Degrassi has ever had backstage passes to anything, probably.” Clare shook her head. “Obviously I think he’s charming so I can understand people, even famous ones, liking him and inviting him to things. What is bizarre to me is how does Kota meet them in the first place? You know yourself, it’s hard to get those kind of opportunities.” Melanie was a famous singer now. However, it took time for her to be recognized. Before she went on The Voice she was just a normal teenager like them. “How are you able to talk to them in the first place? Long enough for them to realize you’re a designer?” Celebrities usually had body guards to keep fans away. “Sure, I’m ready for lunch. Um how does this work? Does Melanie usually put on a disguise and go wherever she wants or are there certain restaurants you can ask for a private room at? Or do you order take out?” She asked curiously looking back forth between Kota and Melanie.

Kota: listened to Clare and chuckled a bit when she mentioned True Bloods. "I've seen American Pie with Dom and my mom. She sat us both down while our brothers were at a sleep over and pressed play. Honestly, I still don't know how I felt watching that with my mom and twin. The whole movie was about sex, when someone says 'One time at band camp...' or anything referring to a time at band camp and you know they've never been they're referring to American Pie. In the movie the Naked Mile you seen the girls fully naked. I've also seen Skins UK which shows a few guys naked and just breasts and both guys and girl's buts. They also showed them having sex, not full blown, but the movements and sounds." he shrugged. "I've also seen some porn, seems overrated to me." he looked over at her when she mentioned her distaste for fish. "Not all sushi has fish, some have imitation crab. And I'm taking someone who doesn't like fish to Japan." he laughed a bit. "That limits the food you can eat. Japanese eat a lot of fish, I'm guessing you won't eat seaweed either?" He asked curiously. "You'll probably learn how to cook fish if you go to someone's house. It's a staple in Japan along with stuff I won't eat. We'll also probably have weekends without Emi, she's already making plans." he added and listened as she mentioned the event he may be partaking in. "I wouldn't kiss them. Some girls see kissing on the same level as sex. I don't want to give anyone that idea, besides I see kissing other girls that aren't you as cheating. I wouldn't do it unless I absolutely had to such as a play." he stated and laced their fingers together. "If you really want to be part of it, I can see if you can be a waitress. I mean it's for Kendo so the guys know English." he shrugged and laugh a bit. "I think it's cute." he smiled and rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "I have seen her long eyelashes. If your dad explained the currency to you, you're not allowed to try to do the math when we go clothes shopping. Also you may not want to go grocery shopping with us. They sell turtles dead wrapped up and ready to be eaten also alive and they sell mystery meat, if you ask what it is they just tell you the animal, they get it cut it up, and mix it together organs and all." he added. "I hope we don't have one until we agree either." he nodded. "That's true and we have summer off regardless. Japan is only 14 hours ahead of us and yea he's asked a few times." he smiled. He was happy that Clare took her into the package before they started dating although he wasn't aware of how long she'd be in his life. "I'm happy your only hesitation was your parents, but I mean if they forbid us to date we can hide it from them." he shrugged. "I agree about our future baby having duel citizenship, it is pretty cool." he said against her lips and looked at her when she stopped. "I agree." he whispered against her lips. A soft chuckle fell from his lips when Clare mentioned a T-shirt for Alli. "I don't really know if that's possible. Normally we go get a bite to eat after or go have fun. I mean we can try to sneak while she's getting her disguise on..." he shrugged. Kota looked at Mel when Clare mentioned the people Kota met and the opportunities he's had. "It's different for designers especially for famous ones like Kota. Murder Bunny is bigger in America than it is here. America is more about Fashion, TV, and finally music. I'm slowly getting into fashion, my perfume came out as did my lipstick line. Kota came up with Murder Bunny and when it released in America with it's own cell phone cases and shirts, it took off. I met him when I went to a fashion show I knew he was going to be at, other's met him at a different fashion show. Jimmy Fallon wears Murder Bunny, a lot of famous people like the line as well. The media in America is wondering if Kota being a sixteen year-old can keep up with the fashion demand in all three countries and he seems to be doing a great job. He's pretty high up there in the fashion world." she explained to Clare. "He gets to meet the actors, singers, and models I don't. In order for me to meet some of the people Kota has I have to be as big as Fallout Boy and Taylor Swift." Mel explained and looked at Kota. "Also Adam is mad at you for rejecting his call. Apparently Behati wants to talk to you about swim suits and Behati said 'tell Kota to teach me how to put on the clothes properly.' It would be nice if you explained." she said. "I'll answer both of your questions and Clare, there's a reason I didn't tell you this yet. I met most of the celebrities at the Victoria's Secret Fashion show when I got a call saying that the Murder Bunny lingerie line was working. It's exclusive to Victoria's Secret shops so I agreed. I got a call from Jimmy Fallon asking to do an interview, but I had school. After that I got a few more calls to do interviews, but school had to come first then the show. The girls didn't really put their bras on right, the people Victoria hired to dress the models told me to just stick my hand in their bras to help. I told Cara how to fix it, in turn she took her bra off in front of me, handed it to me, then told me to put it on her. It was extremely awkward to say the least. I told her to put it on herself, put her hand in her bra, and that's when she put my hand in her bra and said to fix them. That's what Behati wants me to teach her. I will not be touching her breasts." he explained. "What's the proper way to put on a bra?" Melanie asked him. "Put your arms in the straps, bend forwards allowing them to fall perfectly in the cups as you fasten the back, stand up straight and that's it. Don't push up the bottom or pull it down, it won't give much comfort, also a wire bra isn't healthy for your circulation and doesn't support tissue growth, wireless is better for your health." he informed Mel. "I normally clip my bra around my stomach, turn the front towards me and then put the straps on." she said looking at him. "Your bra is on wrong. If you fix it like I told you, it'll feel better." he said and motioned to a room she can change in if she wanted to. "Talking to them long enough is easy. After the online store opened in America I opened an actual store with my grandpa's help. He cut the ribbon since I couldn't be there due to school, then I got a call to do a fashion show. Celebrities attended such as Rihanna and she approached me after the show asking me to make her a custom outfit. We sat down for a few hours and designed it together, then she told her friends and word got out to them. I even designed a giant MB bow with Sia which she wore and sent me a thank you picture." he said reaching for the picture of her smiling as her hair hid her eyes as usual, her hand pointing to the giant bow head band. "She sent a thank you letter with it." he said handing it to Clare. The letter reading 'Thank you so much for bow, it was worth the cost and chatting with you. Best wishes and stay in touch xox Sia.' "I have a few things like that from various people." he added and knocked on the door to the room Melanie was in. "Clare's ready to eat." he said loudly. "In America, I put on a disguise. Normally a big billed hat, dark glasses, and just dress like myself. I still get recognized once in a while, but normally they only want a picture or an autograph. Mel is putting on her disguise now." he said honestly as the door opened and Mel walked out wearing a wig with long black hair, a plain blue skirt with a Nirvana band tee on and black Chuck Taylors with her normal ruffle socks. "Don't you need your disguise?" she asked. "No, I'm not that famous here. We hold hockey higher than fashion, music is above fashion here." he said honestly as he held Clare's hand and lead them out. When they got to the car Kota opened the passenger door to his car for Clare and the back door for Mel, then shut them and got in on his side and started to drive. "Where are we eating?" he asked looking at the girls. "Clare?" Mel asked and Kota looked at her. "The mall or ---" he trailed off.