#I'm gay as hell but i love 1 man
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Ok ok but you wanna know the real tea?? I've read several beach fics at this point (which are all awesome btw, y'all are amazing writers) and it's a beloved staple to have Edwin be somehwat scandalised at everyone's beach outfits not to mention all flustered from seeing Charles in swim wear. Which is a Good Trope, don't get me wrong, I love that just as much as the next person
HOWEVER
I think actually it's Charles who should be more shooketh about Edwin in his funky lil edwardian two piece!!
Picture this. The year is 1916. You are 16 year old Edwin Payne with a bunch of repressed gay thoughts. Much unpleasantness happens, you die and get dragged to hell, even more unpleasantness happens, 70 years later you finally manage to claw your way up and suddenly women are allowed to vote. There's been not one but two world wars, several countries you grew up reading about in the news don't exist anymore and mini skirts are a thing now.
All I'm saying is, for all the teasing Edwin gets for "What is a handjob?" and "Crystal's internet", this kid was essentially thrust into a scifi world full of weird shit and gets mostly by via an attitude which can only be paraphrases as "fuck it, this might as well be a thing (maybe ask Charles about it later)". King of adaption, master of radical acceptance.
Charles on the other hand, and I say this with only love in my heart, is at his core a boomer. He was there for every tiny gradual shift from '89 to modern day. Sure, he was dead for most of that time, but that's not really relevant. All I'm saying is, seeing the bbc announce marriage equality was probably a bigger shock to Charles than it was to Edwin. That's a guy who already had to accept he will never fully wrap his head around home television.
Also consider the states of undress they've been exposed to seeing the other in. Edwin was stripped to his underwear in hell and still had his knees and elbows covered. And that was probably a more exposing outfit than he'd ever be comfortable with. His usual casual get up features a sweater vest for crying out loud! Meanwhile you have Charles going full 'ceps out in his undershirt first chance he gets. Edwin either got real cool with a lot of shit real fast or he would have combusted several times over those 30 years.
And yes yes, we've all seen Edwin "Haunted By Gay Thoughts" Payne's mental slideshow of abs n hips close ups after getting one (1) glance at the Cat King's stomach. But to his credit, the man was going through a full blown sexuality crisis at that and has since emerged victorious.
So all I'm saying is. Edwin seeing Charles shirtless at the beach? Probably not even the first time this is happening, a lil flustering for sure but just last week he saw two people making out nasty on the tube so hell if he knows. Charles seeing Edwin's kneecaps and upper arms for the first time? Incredible, show stopping, pride and predjudice 2005 hand flex level of suppressed horniness.
Anyway. I'm writing this fic now and none of y'all can stop me.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#Charles Rowland#Edwin Payne#Payneland#dbda meta#smule speaks#Please someone just tell me I am not insane and you can see it too#Charles' Beach Episode TM#smoll smule
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I think you’ve said it before, but what are your sexuality headcanons for the Straw Hats?
Luffy is aroace, obviously, that's not so much a headcanon as hard actual canon. Like, even calling it "subtext" is giving it too much credit for subtlety.
Nami is lesbian as hell, and that's also basically canon, literally nobody can tell me otherwise. Jimbei is pansexual but demiromantic at best, his first love is the sea, and Franky is the most bisexual man who has ever walked the earth. If he ever meets someone more bi than him, he will self-engineer upgrades until he takes back the top spot.
Zoro is gray ace, I think, and Brooke is ace now but was probably some flavor of highly fluid queer, back when he still had fluids to be queer with. Chopper hasn't quite gotten to the point of exploring his identity yet, and I think he'll be a late bloomer in that regard. No idea where he'll fall.
I'm fairly convinced that Sanji is either a lesbian who needs to do some Gender about it, or a gay man who is not so much closeted as he is lost in a very specific fantasy of manhood where obsessing over beautiful women who he will never actually desire gives him access to masculinity untainted by, and powerfully in defiance of, the patriarchal example set for him by his father and brothers. Either way, he and Zoro are life partners, platonic or otherwise.
Usopp is like a kinsey 1, while Robin is straight, but in the gayest available way.
also I am a Frobin truther
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Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader
F1IQ - Part Two
Y/n: You have issues Charles: Omg you noticed🥹❤️
Max: How tall are you? Yuki: Extremely. Thank you for asking
Lando, apologizing: . . .—-. - / … —.-. .-. -.- Y/n: What’s that? Lando: remorse code Y/n: I’m even angrier now
Lance: So girl what that mouth do Y/n: complain
Christian: Nice ass, sorry about the mental illness Toto: Thank you king
Y/n in drive to survive: If you’re ever losing an argument hit them with the “you just want me.” Max: I’m just saying you are in the wrong and you are yet still stubborn Y/n: you just want me Max: I do and now i need you to listen to me
Carlos: *wearing a turtle neck* Y/n: I heard in the internet that men who wear turtle neck are most likely to be a whore.
Y/n: Wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???? Fernando: What the hell do you do? Y/n: i die? Lmao what kinda question…
Lewis: Bro. I am on my way
Lewis: Sorry for calling you bro you are my girlfriend and i love you
Y/n: I love you too brah
Daniel comforting max: Always here for you bro 🌹🌹🌹
Daniel: Those were flowers btw
Daniel: For our bromance
Y/n: Anyways see you in court
Lance: I get to see youu😍
Oscar: You're a reoccurring guest in my sleep
Y/n: are you in love with me
Oscar: i just see you when i sleep often
Y/n: because you are in love with me
Y/n: i am not normal about this man
Sebastian: You are not normal in general
Y/n: I need a relationship advice
Kimi: break up
Y/n: listen to me first
Y/n: You know you can open up to me anytime
Charles: Okay fine
Charles: Idrk how to explain it it's just i wish i was dead *Y/n liked this message*
Charles: Why the fuck did you like the message
Sebastian: Dinner is ready. Come down and eat.
Sebastian: bring down your lady friend
Y/n: ?? It's my friend charles. He's a boy
Sebastian: Gay. Christian thought it was a chick.
Y/n: well he has pretty face
Sebastian: Gay
Sebastian: Both of you come eat.
Lando: You heard a joke about gas lighter?
Carlos: no
Landos: yes you have
Carlos: No i haven't
Lando: You've literally heard it already
Carlos: I DONT KNOW
Lando: You're crazy
Y/n in drive to survive: Playing among us with a gay is really hard
Charles: Give me the code bitch
Y/n: Waitt
Y/n: SKSJHK
George: Omg what happened
Y/n: BITCH THAT'S THE CODE
Logan: You are really cute
Y/n: Thank youu, you too
Logan: So what do you like?
Y/n: murder
Y/n: Wait you like me??
Y/n: for my personality??
Yuki: i know I'm surprised too
Oscar: You are so annoying
Y/n: But you like me
Oscar: Doesn't make you less annoying
Y/n: So can we talk?
Lando: talk about what?
Y/n: about us
Lando: Why would you want to talk about United State
Lewis: that's it?
Lewis: You done bitching?
Y/n: That was just a warm up
George: THERE IS SO MANY SNACKS IN HERE
Y/n: WHAT SNACK
George: Like hot guys
George: NOT FOOD YOU FAT FUCK
Lance: How come you are abnormally nice to me lately
Y/n: what do you mean
Lance: You seem nicer than usual
Y/n: I'll punch you in the face if you want
Logan: What's up?
Y/n: about to have mental breakdown hbu?
Logan: in the middle of mental break down
Y/n: Why do we fight over stupid shit
Max: cause you say stupid shit
Y/n: baby are you flirting with me?
Logan: yes I'm trying
Logan: i dont even have an idea on what am i doing
#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one incorrect quotes#lewis hamilton x reader#max verstappen x reader#fernando alonso x reader#lance stroll x reader#lando norris x reader#charles leclerc x reader#carlos sainz x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#yuki tsunoda x reader#oscar piastri x reader#sebastian vettel x reader#kimi raikkonen x reader#george russel x reader
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do you have any particular rap recommendations? i'm open to the genre but i haven't really vibed musically with any of the more popular rap artists. i'd really like to listen to more of it but i just don't know where to really start looking
god do I ever. I have no idea who you haven't previously vibed with so if I say someone you don't like then cope, I'm telling you about my personal favorites.
first and foremost remember that love of my life Janelle Monáe raps like hell
Little Simz is simply electric and her album Sometimes I Might Be Introvert is one of the most breathtaking audio experiences I've ever had
Dua Saleh makes me insaaaaane xyr music is so good and also frequently NASTY gay shit (as linked)
I looove Doechii she hits you going like 4000 miles per hour brain go BRRRRRRRR
I just got into Flyana Boss when they opened up for Janelle on tour last year, they're so cute and funny and their energy is incredible
Tierra Whack does a lot of kooky silly shit I adore her
I never really got into BROCKHAMPTON but Kevin Abstract is my #1 sad gay man, this whole album is everything to me
I don't know, like, anything about Aminé outside of his music but that's fine because his music fucks like hell
and I'd be remiss if I didn't include Megan Thee Stallion and a song that reduces me to emotional shambles
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Temptations - stepsister! ellie x fem reader
wk- 3.5k
summary- reader and ellie visit home for the summer after their time away at collage
additional tags: IM SORRY!! I know this is pushing it but it can’t be inc*st if they’re not blood related right? 🙃, reader is Joel’s bio daughter, sarah doesn’t exists in this bc I said so, ellie is adopted, rocker! ellie, band! ellie, loser! ellie, perv! ellie, weed! mention, ellie is kinda awful in this, like typical f*ck boy beat, reader and ellie are polar opposites so they kinda don’t get along, reader is a overachiever, ellie is a deadbeat, nothing too crazy happens in this part, masturbation! warning (ellie), no physical description of reader, mutual pinning and gay longing etc…
part 1 - part 2
psa!! I know this isn’t for everyone!! If you don’t like it, don’t read it!! 🥰
——————————————————————————
The sweltering blaze of the summer Texas sun made my thighs stick to the leather seat of my 97' Buick as I exited the car.
I looked up at the pale yellow house, peeled siding, and a crooked white picket fence hugging the perimeter. It was familiar. It was home. Memories, good and bad, rested in the floorboards.
I stood in the driveway, the strap of my tank loosely hung off my shoulder, backpack slung over one arm, and the other weighed down by a suitcase.
"Hey- kiddo! You're late."
A man shouted from the front porch, waving his hand excitedly.
"I know. I'm sorry. Traffic was bad moving' through Houston." I gave the old man an apologetic smile as he met me halfway, pulling me in for a familiar embrace of musk and pine.
"Jus' glad you made it safe, is all. Dinners on the table. Hope yer hungry- I think I made too much." Joel gave me a smile, the wrinkles on his face looked deeper than I remembered.
He escorts me into the house, taking my bags from me and relieving me of the extra weight.
The house looks the same, but at the same time different. Smaller maybe? The furniture was in the same positions, the walls the same color, although slightly faded from the years.
"Can you go get yer sister? Tell her supper s' ready." The man asks as he turns to the staircase off the entry, bags in hand to put them in my old bedroom.
I tense, my body physically rejecting the idea of my sister- well, step sister.
I was hoping to make it here before she did, give me a few hours of peace before she'd ultimately ruin it.
When Ellie came into this family, it didn't take long for me to become jealous. She quickly clicked with Joel, bonding with him over things that he took an interest in; building shelves, working on cars, hell, even playing guitar.
It's not like I thought my dad loved Ellie more or anything. I knew I'd always be his little girl that got perfect grades and stayed out of trouble, but seeing how his face lit up when Ellie was by his side, grease smeared on her cheek made me heart seare.
I start to head up the stairs, following Joel's lead when I remembered she hasn't slept up there since she was a kid.
During Ellie's angsty teen years, she had begged Joel for days to let her move her bedroom in the basement, claiming "a growing girl needs her own space."
Joel always shot her down, but Ellie wouldn't let up. One night when I couldn't sleep, I got out of bed to get something to drink only to be met with Ellie's 16 year old string bean self pushing her mattress over the railing, and ever since then, the basement has been her territory.
I turn, slowly waking towards the door off of the kitchen that led to said basement, not a hint of enthusiasm in my step.
I creaked open the heavy door, and the wooden steps creaked beneath my feet with each step. Sounds of electronic gunshots and disgruntled curses grew louder as I reached the bottom.
I extend my neck around the corner of the cement room, clothes and empty cans scattered on the floor, music and movie posters filling every inch of the wall surface.
"Els...Ellie." I repeat her name, but she doesn't acknowledge it, her focus never straying from the first person shooter game on the tv. The LED lights that outlined the room turned the space into a purple hue.
My patience wearing thin, I yell her name one last time.
"What?!" Ellie huffed, tearing off the headset that covered her ears and looked at me.
"Dinner is ready." I said plainly, rolling my eyes before going back up the stairs.
"What? I don't even get a hello?"
Ellie yells from her still seated position, a cockiness tingled on her lips.
I scoff, rolling my eyes even harder even if she couldn't witness it. I picture that familiar smug smirk on her face that she had whenever she was trying to piss me off, and it was working.
Ellie loved toying with you like this since you were 16, and she was 17, poking and prodding at you as she sat back, and watched you get worked up. Ellie would never admit it to you, but she loved how no matter how little she tried to rile you up; you'd always bite.
"How's yer classes going? Likin' your teachers alright?" Joel asked between bites of his burger, his eyes glancing at me and over to Ellie, more specifically towards Ellie.
"Good... yeah, everything's good." I nod towards him, giving him a sincere smile to assure him.
Joel winked, smiling back like he knew he could count on me when it came to that sort of thing.
Ellie didn't respond, too busy shoving food in her face which made Joel kick her under the table, jolting her attention away from her plate.
"Ow! What the hell?" Ellie yelled, throwing her hands up.
"Yer classes, Ellie. How are you doin'?" The man asked, a seriousness overtaking his tone.
Ellie groaned, throwing her head back over the top of the wooden dining chair.
"They're fine. Stop worryin'." Ellie gave him a glare before diverting her attention back to her food.
I watch her from across the table, my legs crossed as I quietly ate which was the complete opposite of her.
Ellie's elbows rested on the oak table, her body slightly hunched as she devoured every last bite like she was a starved animal.
I stood at the sink, washing a cup when I felt a hand grab my hip from behind.
"Sorry- here's another one." Ellie talked into my neck, her fingers digging into my hip slightly. Her chest brushed against my back, and her lips too close to my neck. It felt suffocating.
I hadn't realized her presence had me washing the same cup for the entire interaction.
"Hey, Ellie-"
Joel's voice boomed, interrupted into the kitchen, causing Ellie to push herself away quickly.
Joel stood in the archway, his forearm coming up to lean against it.
"I haven't been down in the basement for a long time- please sleep upstairs. I don't need ya gettin' bit by a widow or somthin'."
Ellie groaned, her eyes lolling back into her skull, but she didn't argue.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dinner was long over. Joel retreated into his bed room for the night, placing a kiss on the top of my head before doing so.
I was sitting on the couch; the tv show I was watching was the only source of light that illuminated the main floor.
It was quiet and peaceful, Ellie had gone back down to her dungeon shortly after dinner, playing video games by the sounds of it.
My quiet was disturbed as the heavy basement door swung open, revealing a homely looking Ellie. Her sweatpants hung low on her hips, checkered green and blue boxers peaking above the waistband, and black wifebeater that snugged her torso.
"Isn't past your bed time, young lady?" Ellie teased as she opened the fridge, pulling out a beer before lazily making her way to the living room.
"Who cut your hair, Hellen Keller?" I snapped right back, a smirk on my lips as she took a seat on the opposite end of the couch.
"Oh- ha. Ha. You're funny."
Ellie pulled a lighter out of the pocket of her pants, using the top to pop open the cap of the brown bottle.
Her chuckle was low and raspy as she brought the rim of the bottle to her lips, her head dipping back as she swallowed the liquid.
Ellie had changed a lot since the last time I saw her, almost two years ago. Her hair is shorter, choppier, and a darker shade of brown, almost black.
Ellie is also taller and more muscular like she really grew into herself. Her face has hardened, her cheeks and jaw more apparent than before.
I sneak peeks at her, looking her over and familiarize myself with my step sisters new look. My eyes travel down to the dark green-blue ink that covered her forearm, a moth with fern leaves. It was pretty, almost too delicate looking compared to her, but it suited her.
My eyes scale down further to her hands, long fingers and a prominent veins that curved along. I have to give it to her, she always had beautiful hands.
"Take a picture it will last longer."
Ellie's voice jolted me out of my trance, my head quickly turning back to the tv.
I try to think of something- anything to cover my tracks.
"Don't get cocky- I was looking at your tattoo. It's nice... who did it?"
Ellie lifted her arm, turning it over to observe it.
"My ex. She bought a tattoo gun online and needed someone to practice on." Ellie said nonchalantly, shrugging before looking back up at the tv.
"Well- she did good. Why is she your ex now? You should've kept her around and gotten tatted up." I ask with genuine interest.
Ellie shrugged, taking another sip of her beer.
"Dunno- We kinda just fell out? Plus she caught me with another chick and freaked out." Ellie stated, not a hint of guilt after just admitting she's a cheater.
Somehow it didn't surprise me after all the girls she'd bring home after school. I'd see the same girl come over a few times within the week, only for the girl to be replaced by a different girl, and the cycle continued like that until she left for college.
"You think your big sis is a bad person now?" Ellie asked, a grin on her lips and she took another sip.
"It doesn't make me think of you any differently." I lied. It did make me think of her differently; I started to imagine what her sex life was like.
What's so great about her? That had these girls constantly following her home like a lost puppy. Surely, it's not her sunshine personality.
My mind flicks back to her hands, my eyes still glued to the tv. Her long and rough, calloused fingers must be the magic touch.
Ellie hummed at my response unconvincingly. The light from the tv illuminated the freckles on her cheeks and nose.
"The fuck are we watching anyways? Some cheesy reality show? Wait- is this the gay one?"
Ellie's voice piqued in interest, her back shimming further back into the cushion to her comfortable.
"Um- yeah, why?"
I ask, side eyeing her, not really understanding what the big deal was.
********
The big deal was; Ellie never knew if you were into girls; or not. She tried to figure it out for years, carefully observing the people you brought home for school. You didn't make it easy, and truthfully you were kinda a loner, only having a few close friends that you'd invite over.
Although there was that one time; you came home from school with a different girl that Ellie had never seen before, and when Ellie tried introducing herself, you quickly took the mystery girl's hand in yours and ran upstairs, locking the two of you in your bedroom.
Ellie fought herself over it for a long time, trying to picture you with a girl. She wondered if you had kissed another girl, held another girl's hand, and it drove Ellie fucking insane.
Ellie had a dark secret that she wouldn't dare say out loud and definitely would never let you know about it.
Ellie started thinking about you a lot after you turned 16, and they were almost never innocent thoughts. When you turned 16 it was like Aphrodite came down to earth and blessed you herself.
Ellie wasn't proud that she had these thoughts, I mean, you were her little sis after all, but it didn't stop her from picturing you whenever she fucked random college girls in the fraternity bathrooms.
********
Ellie shushed my question, motioning for me to turn it up and I do.
Four episodes in, both of us were dead silent as we watched the horror that is reality tv dating shows. We shared glances at each other whenever one of the cast members said something outrageous, but other than that, we just watched and enjoyed the presence of one another.
It was getting late, my eyes grew heavy and harder to keep open.
"Alright- it's gettin' late, and I have to shower still. Pick this up tomorrow?" I pause the tv and stand up with a yawn.
Ellie pleaded for one episode, holding her hands in a prayer. I stand my ground, promising her we can binge it tomorrow and that seemed to work.
We go up the stairs, Ellie following close behind as we mumble goodnights to each other before we go into our designated bedrooms.
I rummage through my suitcase, pulling out a over sized t-shirt and underwear.
I turn on the light in the bathroom, closing the door, but not all the way. It was a bad habit that I never grew out of, leaving the bathroom door open a few inches whenever I took a shower or bath. I did it because growing up, I was terrified of the bathroom, scared I'd get locked in and somehow the lights go out, and the grudge lady would be hiding in the shower.
I slip off my jeans and my tank, dropping them to the floor and turn on the water. I wait, holding my hand under the stream until the temperature was up to my standards.
I get in, letting the hot water soothe my aching muscles from sitting in a car all day. I felt the tenseness of my shoulders relax and my heart rate slowing down to a more relaxed pace.
***********
Ellie laid in bed, her arm folding under her head as the springs in the mattress poked her back. She scrolled through various apps, checking social media, playing games and repeating.
The sound of the water running in the room down the hall could be heard faintly in Ellie's old bedroom. The walls were still painted a dark shade of blue, with doodles of planets and rockets hand painted by Ellie herself.
Joel couldn't bring himself to paint over them.
The joint (or a few joints) Ellie smoked after dinner; was starting to kick in and made her crave some sort of barbaric concoction.
Pickles with peanut butter, maybe?
Ellie sighed, lifting her myself from the bed lazily, scratching the back of her neck before she turned the nob.
Ellie entered the long stretch of the hall, passing your bedroom the illuminated with a soft pink hue. Coming up on the bathroom, she paused.
At first, she wanted to tease you, to scold you for still keeping the bathroom open when you showered. You weren't a little kid anymore, and you needed to grow up in Ellie's mind.
On the other hand, Ellie was intrigued. She found herself peeking through the gap, the steamed glass door of the shower made it hard to make out details, but it was enough.
She felt wrong about it. One part of her was pulling her body away, telling her to stop looking, but the other part of her (the more fucked up part) couldn't look away.
Her eyes trailed up the profile of your body; pausing momentarily at points of interest.
Ellie didn't know it at the time, but she was biting down on her lip hard as she looked at the curve of your ass, plump and full, and the way your tits sat so high and perky.
Her hand coming down to cup her cunt, rolling her wrist against her clit. A moan escapes her lips as she continued to watch.
The sound of the water shutting off made Ellie snap back to her senses. She quickly backed away from the door and as quickly and quietly, as she could, made her way back to her bedroom and shut the door.
She fell into the mattress, taking a deep and shaky breath as she realizes what she's done. A wave of guilt washed over her- no, more like a tsunami. You were her step sisters, and even worse you've know eachother since Ellie was 14 and you were 13. You practically grew up together, but how would've Ellie known you'd grow into that.
Ellie couldn't deny she thought you were beautiful. Not just the fake, superficial type of beauty, but naturally, you were breathtaking to her, and your body matched.
As Ellie conflicted with herself, she continued to picture you. She imagined what you looked like underneath her, what you sounded like when she was splitting you open.
The guilt was replaced by lust and hormones, but mostly; lust.
Her hand crept down to the hemp of her boxers, slipping inside. Her other hand grabbed the bottom of her tank and brought it up to hold between her teeth- leaving her breasts exposed.
Ellie's fingers glided along her folds, coating them in her slick. She teased her entrance, rubbing gentle circles around her clit.
"Fuuuck- look what you do t' me, y/n" Ellie stifled a moan, dropping the fabric from her teeth as her middle finger sunk into her pussy, pumping in and out, slowly.
She moaned your name; over and over, adding another finger and quickening the pace.
The scene was honestly pathetic. Ellie's sweats and boxers tugged down to her knees, not bothering to take them off completely. Her breasts were the only thing holding the tank up, her hardened nipples- red and swollen as she harshly tugged at them.
"Fuu- your s-so wet, baby. You like when I fuck you like this? Huh?" Ellie babbled and stuttered, gritting through her teeth as she reached closer to her peak.
She pictured this is what you felt like as she sunk her fingers inside, curling against the spongy walls, hitting the spot that made you squirm with each pump.
She wanted to hear you beg, wanted to hear you say her name over and over until it didn't sound like a word anymore.
"Fuu-fuckin' bitch- d-dirty fuckin' whore-" Ellie curses, jaw slacked and her eyebrows furrowed upwards. Her rhythm became jagged as her hips bucked upwards, fucking herself through her orgasm.
Ellie panted, sprawled across the bed as bolts of electricity continued to send shock waves through her body.
Her inner thighs glistened, her breasts malled and violated.
It was official, Ellie had hit a new level of fucked up, but that's okay as long as you never find out.
It's not like you had your ear pressed against the wall as soon as you heard strange noises coming from your step sisters bedroom.
#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader#ellie williams fanfic#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams the last of us#ellie tlou2#ellie williams smut#ellie tlou smut#ellie tlou fanfic#ellie williams x afab reader#ellie williams tlou2#tlou fanfiction#tlou smut#tlou x reader#tlou x y/n#tlou x you#ellieslittlewh0re
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Macdennis timeline
Macdennis
The 16 season long situationship filled to the brim with sociopathic tendencies, mutual abuse, and disorganized attachment between a man burdened by Catholic guilt who doesn't want love unless it hurts and a deeply dissociated man who can't be authentic unless he's immersed in a facade. And they were roommates.
What can be said that hasn't been said before? Probably nothing... still here's this.
S1-S4 PRE-MACDENNIS
This is before Mac and Dennis find themselves unwittingly thrust into a relationship neither is aware of. There is a homoerotic undertone, albeit usually as more of a joke than anything else. Neither has realized that their feelings for the other goes beyond friendship.
(Season 1 ep 1) Famous tequila scene.
(season 3 ep 4) Mac says I love you to Dennis.
(season 3 ep 15) gang dances their asses off macs dance pantomiming blowing Dennis.
(season 4 ep 1) Man hunters. Dennis puts his balls in Mac's mouth when he's sleeping, and mac shaves his pubes and glues them to Dennis' face.
(season 4 ep 4) Charlie asks Dennis if he still gets the feeling Mac wants to bang them, and that's why Mac makes project badass, Dennis agrees.
(season 4 ep 13) Nightman cometh. Mac gets a boner when Dennis' character pantomimes sex with him in the play. Dennis rips macs heart out (this comes back later)
S5-S7 MACDENNIS INTENTIONAL
Season 5 Macdennis hits like a truck. Dennis has feelings and they are BIG. We the audience witness a masterful display of homoerotic desire wrapped in a stunning amount of cognitive dissonance until "breakup" where Dennis is forced to confront the reality of his feelings. Following this crucial turning point, we are treated to a series of back and forth assertions of no-homo, feelings getting hurt, and lashing out. In order, we get Dennis introducing the dennis system, mac fighting gay marriage, Dennis getting married and kicking Mac out of the apartment, and finally Dennis getting a divorce.
Things are notably different between them post-divorce, marked by a mutual retreat from both Mac and Dennis. There's a shared reluctance to appear overly invested in each other romantically. This dynamic persists into Season 7, where Mac and Dennis noticeably maintain a considerable distance compared to previous seasons. In my honest opinion, this season exhibits the least Macdennis of any. Dennis being unhappy with Mac's weight gain likely contributes to this.
(Season 5 episode 1) Dennis suggests that they pretend to be gay married realtors. Some will say that being gay married was not essential to the scheme. Some would even say that to sell the being married thing Dennis did NOT have to be that touchy touchy. Source of baby boy nickname that has penetrated every corner of AO3 macden fanfiction.
(season 5 episode 8) PADDY'S THONG DUDE!!! PADDY'S THONG! I'm not wearing these because I'm comfortable I'm wearing them cause i wanna turn YOU on, you know what I'm saying??? you get it???
Mac jerks off a shotgun and blows its load in a kneeling dennis' gaping mouth.
(season 5 episode 9) They break up. In the podcast they say that this is a romcom. Dee points out that they act like an old married couple. Realization dawns on dennis's face and he proceeds to freak the hell out. Why? I mean... he knew it was true. We learn that they have a weekly movie night. Mac is jealous of video store clerk guy. We learn that they check in. Deleted scene at the end has Dennis blurting out that Mac has "beautiful lips" and again looking horrified.
(season 5 ep 10) Immediately after break up Dennis introduces his fool proof system for attracting WOMeN with big BIG BOOB for SEX.
(season 6 ep 1) Mac goes on a rampage against gay marriage after just last season being fake gay married to dennis. Dennis immediately gets married and kicks Mac out of the apartment. (Dennis also says he doesn't "have feelings", which Mac internalizes and it comes back in season 12)
(season 6 ep 2) dennis immediately divorces said woman and lets his boy toy (his words) come home.
radio silence all of season 7 except....
(season 7 ep 1) They go to the doctor, mac tries to carry dennis out bridal style. Dennis eats a chimichanga with Mac (romantic).
(season 7 ep 6) cold open, Dennis is holding Macs forearm while they watch the TV.
-season 7 we also learn that Mac slept with Dennis' prom date and it was very easy.
S8-S9 The kiss, the date, and the platonic naked wrestling shower scene
I believe this is the point where Mac starts to get the feeling something is off. (Again, Dennis realized in season 5). Mac has far more dissonance about it though, he like just wants to be best bros with Dennis for life, cause Dennis is like soooo cool. He is definitely not in love with Dennis he just loves Dennis like, as a blood brother. HE IS NOT GAY BECAUSE THAT IS A SIN. HE SERIOUSLY LOVES GOD A LOT.
In Season 8's Dines out Dennis delivers a speech wherein he admits that he thinks of Mac as a man who knows exactly who he is. Season 9's Mac day shows the total elimination of this belief after a full day filled with Macs self hating homophobia contrasting with his out and proud cousin "country mac".
(Season 8 ep 2) Whelp, God only knows how we ended up here after a drought like season 7, but 8 kicks off with a bang with an out of nowhere kissing attempt from Mac… right in front of Charlie too. By the look on Dennis' face I'm going to guess this has never happened before. I genuinely wonder what compelled him to do this…. like….is he just always thinking about it and forgot hes not supposed to do it for real? was it instinct?
(Season 8 ep 6) Dennis deals with emotional numbness, and nothing he tries makes him feel anything until the end of the episode where he feels too much after seeing his dead mother. This is not overtly macdennis but I think it demonstrates how he struggles with emotion and why Mac believes that Dennis does not have feelings.
(season 8 episode 9) Mac and Dennis are going on a fancy dinner date every single month. Monthly dinner and weekly movie nights.... anyway. Mac is upset that Dennis won't say something nice to him so Dennis does a speech to the whole restaurant. Yes he did kinda do it to dunk on frank and charlie. Yes he loved the attention. I think he meant what he said.
(season 8 episode 10) Dennis gets turned on by Mac totally intellectually dominating him while giving his anti science presentation. Also in the car at the end Mac was flirting.
(season 9 episode 3) Mac day. Praise God. Dennis is drowning in a sea of Macs delusion. Mac believes himself to be totally badass and not at all gay while repeatedly demonstrating the opposite. Country Mac shows Dennis what Mac could be if he was all the things he said he was and just embraced that he was gay. Dennis resents Mac.
(season 9 episode 6) saves the day. Macs fantasy involves Dennis wailing over his corpse, proclaiming his love. Dennis' fantasy is interesting, revealing his fear that Mac would abandon him the moment his sexual appeal fades. He envisions the possibility of being loved for more than his sexual abilities, yet his declaration of love precludes Jackie being hit by a car, leading to the loss of her breasts, and Dennis choosing to leave her. Lot to unpack here.
(season 9 episode 8) Mac and Dennis are trying to catch a rat. Mac tries to bash the rat, but Dennis says that its not about brute force, its about seduction. He turns on some romantic music and they both sway back and forth, looking into each others eyes, Mac takes a step forward, but Dee enters the room and the second dennis sees her he spins around and walks away.
I also feel the need to point out that Mac and Dennis went to high school together, and Macs nickname in high school was....well... Ronnie the rat.
(season 9 episode 9) Mac writes into the script of lethal weapon a scene where he and Dennis, I kid you not, wrestle naked in a shower. If you can call it wrestling... though it's more accurately described as an opportunity for an intense, naked embrace.
(season 9 episode 10) Cute food fight scene. Their apartment burns down.
s10-11 Out of their natural environment
Following the incineration of their shared home, macdennis moves in with Dee and all three of them hate it so so much.
(season 10 episode 1) Dennis looks at Mac like he wants to eat him (4 min 24 seconds) Mac says wait Dennis don't go and Dennis turns like he's expecting.... I don't know.
(season 10 episode 5) Mac and Dennis take turns watching and jacking off to creampie videos. Some will say they could just find their own porn, however I think this is one of the numerous creative ways they've found to have a sex life with each other.
(season 10 ep 3) Dennis is diagnosed with BPD.
(season 10 ep 6) The gang embarks on a journey of independence, only to discover that their lives are intricately woven together. For better or worse they will never escape each other, and will likely live this way until they die.
(season 10 episode 10) Dennis creates an entire fake cult to get Mac to do things he wants him to do. Says Macs been looking so good so sexy lately *manipulative*
(season 11 episode 4) Mac turns off the video Dee made about Dennis being raped by the librarian.
(season 11 episode 5) Macdennis play house. Mac asks Dennis if he can hear the beep too, Dennis gaslights him and says no, meanwhile getting increasingly agitated by the pool filter. It's already been explained more better by others but basically this is a metaphor for Mac wanting Dennis to acknowledge what has been happening between them, while Dennis adamantly avoids doing so. Instead, he channels his frustrations into unrelated problems.
Dennis hates going to work alone all day and Mac hates staying home, which could easily be fixed by having Mac come to work with him. Instead, Dennis' solution is a "honey-do list" (a list of chores a man would give his wife) and a dog, which Mac names DENNIS JR. (parallel to Dennis' real kid who is named Brian Jr. ) This kind of relationship paralleling is a recurring theme; for example in gets romantic, double life, and celebrity booze).
In the beginning of the episode Dennis wants to listen to Bryan Adams in the car. At the end of the episode Mac confronts him by saying "everything I do I do it for you, and everything you do you do it for yourself". (referencing the title of a very romantic Bryan Adams song)
dennis says he hates him
(season 11 ep 6) Mac asks Frank if he thinks Dennis hates him, because he just wants him to think he's cool and he puts so much work into this relationship and *unintelligible* (seriously if anyone know what Mac is saying when Frank spaces out please message me)
(season 11 ep 8) Dennis also knows about the gay bar
(Season 11 ep 10) 🎵 Amazing Grace how sweet the sauce 🎵
Mac comes out. When they play fake dinner Mac talks about him and Dennis' future home where they will have dinner parties and touches Dennis' hand. Confused, Dennis questions the idea of it being "their" home, seemingly operating under the misconception that he and Mac might eventually part ways and not continue living together.
Mac prays to god that they be saved and after being rescued he goes back into the closet.
s12 Mac claims to be gay and Dennis leaves the state of Pennsylvania
Season 12 is my favorite season!
Mac comes out, has a gay dream, gives Dennis a present, tries to insert himself as 2nd father of Dennis' child, and is swiftly abandoned.
Things start to get a little too real for Dennis, and hes just a little too vulnerable. Perfectly it turns out he has an opportunity to live the typical nuclear family lifestyle he's envisioned for himself and escape all his troubles.
(season 12 episode 6) Gay Mac rules! rich gay Mac!
The watershed moment wherein Mac comes out as gay for real this time. Dennis is beyond shocked.
(season 12 episode 7) Mac fully grasps that his feelings for Dennis are romantic after having a dream where Dennis kisses him. Upon waking he goes to find Dennis. Again Dennis dances towards him and leans in, Macs eyes light up thinking that his dream is coming true but Dennis slams the door in his face.
(season 12 ep 8) Dennis wants to completely ignore Valentines day because he doesn't think he has anybody who really cares about/loves him. Everyone in the gang openly states that they don't think he has feelings.
At the end of the ep. Mac has Dennis open a crate, which turns out to be an RPG (something that Dennis thinks is awesome and talks about all the time), and he tears up, he's incredibly touched. When Mac says there is no rocket (rendering the gift effectively useless) Dennis says he doesn't care, he loves it. Mac figured out the one thing he wanted more than anything else in the world and got it for him. This is likely not referring to the RPG but instead to the fact that he wanted someone to show him that they love him/care about him.
(season 12 ep 10) Dennis is revealed to have a son with Mandy, a woman who he had sex with on his layover from the wade boggs episode. To get him out of this jam Mac suggests they pretend to be in a relationship. Dennis, reluctantly going along with the plan, tells Mandy he sleeps with women but he is emotionally invested with Mac. When she is fine with it and says she wouldn't mind Brian Jr. having two dads, Mac enthusiastically agrees to parent Dennis' kid with him. When Dennis asks Mac why he would agree to that, since they are not a couple, Mac replies that he thought they could just keep pretending.
Mac wins a bet and gets to refurnish the apartment. He surprises Dennis by recreating their old apartment down to the last detail, save his own bedroom, which he leaves empty. He only buys Dennis a bed because he is hoping Dennis will go along with continuing to share a bed like they did at Dee's.
At the end of the episode Dennis announces he is leaving to go raise his son in North Dakota with Mandy. Nobody tries to stop him.
S13-14 DENNIS IS COMING BACK HOT
Dennis' 2 most angry/upset seasons.
In the season 13 promos Dennis is like a ghost, watching the gang laughing and talking without him. At some points they seem to notice that he's there, but just don't care. He is the only one spooked by the weird things happening around the bar.
In season 13 Dennis' returns and feels as though he is not important or needed by his friends. Mac has a journey of self-discovery, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding his identity as a gay man. Mac relies on Dennis to tell him what to do, desperate to please him, but Dennis wants Mac to take control and take care of him. Dennis only wants the illusion of control.
(Season 13 episode 1) Mac orders a sex doll of Dennis and swears he isn't blowing his loads into it. Dennis comes back.
(Season 13 episode 2) Mac finds a heart shaped lock clue whilst doing an escape room. Dennis says they should keep it between themselves.
(season 13 episode 4) Dennis holds a seminar where he publicly declares his own heterosexuality and lack of interest in Mac.
just gonna leave these quotes-
dennis- "some of you just haven't been careful enough, so youre asking yourself what can I do to save myself now. You gotta clean up your act otherwise you're going down, and you're gonna take me down with you and I ain't going down. You understand? I've been telling you this for years but you refused to listen"
----
mac- "and we should probably stop harassing them"
dennis, replying to Mac- " uh well you know, one step at a time we don't want the whole system to collapse" (but Macs only crime was being too open with his feelings for Dennis)
(season 13 ep 5) Dennis opens the floor for questions about his absence. He totally gets that everyone was giving him some space and respecting his privacy, and he's ready to talk about it now but...they just don't actually care....at all... (including Mac)
(season 13 episode 7) Its my personal interpretation that all of clip show happens in Dennis' mind in an episode of dissociation. He imagines that Mac decided to come with him to north Carolina. He imagines being confronted about why he would want to live with Mac if he "hates" him so much.
(season 13 episode 10) Mac comes out to his father in a beautiful interpretive dance and is rejected.
(season 14 episode 1) Mac tries to get into Dennis' good graces again by staging a scheme to get Dennis laid just like old times. Interestingly, Dennis isn't all that interested in banging. When its not working out with the woman, Dennis decides that it's because the leads are actually Mac and the husband. They can't seem to figure out that the leads are really each other.
Mac and Dennis are paralleled by the married couple while Charlie and Frank are mirrored by the father son duo..
"If you'd just give us a chance, we could tell a love story for the ages, a gay GAY ass love story". WE ARE READY AND SO WILLING
(season 14 episode 5) "Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads." (also refer to Macs super long pining text messages)
(season 14 ep 6) "all that for a whistle, I wonder what you'd do for a biscuit" I really don't understand how but apparently this episode really did happen and it wasn't in someones dream or anything like that??
(season 14 episode 10) Dennis says to Mac it's time to end the game. This could be interpreted as being about their 14 season song and dance, and would be backed up by the fact that the next season shows Mac completely backing off.
s15-s16 Acceptance and regret
mac tries to move on, Dennis misses his baby boy
(season 15 episode 1) We get some cute broke back mountain Macdennis. They play guitar and sing a love song they wrote together, looking into each other's eyes.
(season 15 ep 4) There's a subtle moment that's easy to miss. Dennis pats Mac's hand when they are talking to Charlie and Mac looks down at it, taking a deep breath.
(season 15 ep 5) Dennis has COVID and Mac isn't concerned, in fact he is irritated that Dennis wont admit he's sick. This is a big change from the last couple of seasons where Mac is desperate to take care of Dennis.
(season 16 episode 1) Mac and Dennis throw away all of their furniture including their beds. They now share an inflatable bed/couch and sleep together in it (just a couple seasons ago Dennis was absolutely refusing to sleep in the same bed as Mac). They are touching so much in the bed. Dennis is concerned for Mac because he has been continuously consuming nuts that he is allergic to (there's a metaphor here) and is heavily wheezing. Dennis gently places two fingers on Macs neck to check his pulse.
If Dennis did not want to sleep in the bed with Mac he would have gone and bought another inflatable bed. He would have made Mac sleep on the ground. He would have gone to sleep at Dees house. He wanted to be in that bed with Mac.
(season 16 episode 4) Dennis creates a fake dating profile under the alias of "Johnny". He buys Mac extra large anal beads to put inside of him at all times, and turns them on to signal to Mac to meet him at a hotel. He says he did it to....get him out of the house? and to get Mac to....buy him crab?
Dennis looks so devastated when Mac says he's in love with Johnny. I kinda wonder if it's the idea that Mac could love someone else that upsets him... or if he's reacting to Mac telling him he is in love with him to his face?
This is also the episode where we learn that Dennis has a fool proof method for attracting men. When Mac and Dee ask why he has this system he just shushes them.
(season 16 episode 5) The relationship between Malcom and his dad is a parallel of Mac and Dennis's relationship. The speech at the end to me seems like its hinting that Mac knows more/ has more control and power than is let on.
NEW INFORMATION JUST DROPPED I have just been made aware of the actual parallel between Malcom and the dad possibly being Dennis and Frank.
(season 16 episode 8) Nightmare! Nightmare! Nightmare!
Dennis takes a mental health day. Some people really hated this episode but I really liked it. Mac is putting coal in a pressure cooker to make diamonds. Dennis rips the CEO's (who is wearing a Hawaiian shirt like we've seen Mac wear) heart out, and squeezes it so hard it turns into a diamond and he eats it. This is a direct parallel to the nightman cometh where he also rips Macs heart out.
*edit to add* The director of this episode (who did not write the ep but still was involved in its creation obviously) Heath Cullens, in a reddit QA when asked if this was a nod to dayman replied "Nope. I think pretty much a coincidence." which I think is a total missed opportunity tbh.
This was all in Dennis' mind, and it seems to me that the Mac "situation" has left him with a sense of powerlessness. He feels isolated, trapped in an endless nightmare of his own creation, and he has nobody he can count on to help him, there's nobody he can rely on, he can only trust himself. Compressing the coal into a diamond represents Dennis molding everything to be exactly as he wishes, and by swallowing it he reclaims absolute control.
Always sunny book- : the 7 secrets of awakening the highly effective four-hour giant, today
"Mac for instance is also a 3 in ugly, so even if this exercise we're going to try fails, you'll have some company at your ugly parties. For the record, on the ugly scale charlie is a five, frank is a six, and Dee is a nine." - Dennis
#Macdennis#Mac iasip#Dennis iasip#Mac and dennis#It's always sunny in philadelphia#iasip#brevity is not the soul of wit in this case#my magnum opus for my magnum dong#I'm sure this is missing plenty#feel free to tell me what I'm missing#in fact I insist that you do#Dennis reynolds#Mac macdonald#ronnie the rat#this is a living document
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Life upgrade
Hi, I am Earl Montgomery. I am 34 year old gay man. I studied history and enhlish literature at Columbia and then I became a teacher. I have been working as a teacher since than and I have to say that being a teacher is one of the most honorable proffesions there are. You get to educate all the young minds and set them on a right path in life. If only they would listen to me during classes. Maybe my life wouldn't be so boring. The job takes all my energy. I never believed that so many teachers get burnt out, but man. Once you see that your job affects only few of those kids and the rest just doesn't care, you contemplate back on your life. What could I have done different? I could have had a happy, adventurous life full of fun and sex. Oh how I miss the sex.
Oh sorry, my bad. You thought the guy wearing sports clothes is me? Oh no no no. This is me actually
That guy is Barry. The gym teacher. He's the same age as me. But his life is much better. He works as a gym teacher, coach and in his free time he is a personal trainer in gym. He gets to coach all the hot bodybuilders and sometimes women, that lust over him a later on sleep with him.
I onced tried to hit on him, thinking he might be bisexual, but ended up being ignored for the rest of the school year. He started talking to me again recently and that's fine. If there is no drama it's all good. Besides. He has his own life full of sport and travelling around the world, fucking everything that moves. And I have my own life. My slightly boring and depresive life.
Who am I kidding? I hate my life. I wish I were Barry. To have his hot body, his libido, his life full of travellling and fucking everyone.
Suddenly it was so bright all around me. I was in a garage. Running. I stopped. Where am I? Why am I running? How did I get here?
I looked around but the place was empty. Then I looked down and saw the grey clothes for sport that Barry has. "This can't be". I walked over to the nearest car and saw Barry. No, I saw my reflection.
"Well well well. Can't ignore me now, huh?" I flexed my biceps over the shirt. So freaking hot. He is so buff. Must be amazing to be so strong and have strong muscles like this. His skin is so tense and beautiful. I gotta go somewhere more private to look what he's hiding under this. Don't know how this freaky friday will last.
Vibration in my pocket. Some girls want to have a private class with me in the gym. But the emojis don't seem like they want to take the training very seriously. Might be fun.
"Flex for the camera. Perfect!"
"Omg Barry, you're really hot. How did you get so big?"
"You think this is big... you haven't seen all of me yet. Haha" Where the hell was this coming from? Why did I say that?
"Really? We were actually thinking you coul help us stretch some time and show us how to do this to not hurt ourselves."
"I can stretch you both now in the showers, babes" Whyyy am I saying this. I'm not straight for fucks sake. Oh no. I'm not, but Barry is. I need to get back. I can't be straight.
1 hour later
"Thanks Barry. What a great personal class. Haha. Same time next week?" the taller oned asked while walking away from the gym
"You bet!" the sex was really good I have to admit that. But only this body craves it. Not me. I am gay, I don't want to watch pussy all day.
Phone vibrated again
Holy shit, A message from my number:"Hey, I don't know what you did to me, but I just jerked off for the third time thinking about my own body and I can't keep doing this... I want to swa... SUUCK your dick"
Oh maan, he has the same problem as I do. His body responds to what the person craved before, bout our minds didn't change our sexual orientation it seems.
"Came to your body's place in 30 minutes. Bring lube. Don't be late" I texted. I love this confidence the body is so full off.
And I bet I am gonna love the fact that my old body is gonna suck my dick very soon.
Haha. Gotta thank the istock photos for the inspiration
Story from inbox: Would you be able to do a story where a nerdy teacher swaps bodies with the hunky football coach. Maybe even cucking him?
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baby, i'm-a want you — (ch 1) "session one"
gif by me
pairing: joel miller/dieter bravo (just this time. main pairing is still javi/joel) rating: E (18+) mdni word count: 3.5k content: swearing, joel and tommy's southern accents being cute af, dieter being a menace, joel being awkward af (but it's cute), cringey porn dialogue, male masturbation (briefly), one (1) handjob, one (1) blowjob (it's messy), lmk if i missed anything! dividers: @saradika-graphics beta: @qveerthe0ry (ily ♥)
summary: javier peña has been doing this a long time. he's really good at his job. joel miller? not so much. he started doing this to get some extra cash to support his daughters. what happens when they're supposed to do a scene together? aka, the au where most of the ppcu boys are gay porn stars~
(read this first ->) prologue | series masterlist
Joel never would have guessed he’d do something like this ten years ago. Hell, not even five years ago. He’s not even totally sure how he got here, if he’s honest with himself.
He just remembers an, admittedly shady, business-looking man coming up to him and shoving a business card in his face. He asked if Joel had ever slept with men before. Joel was taken aback and thought he was coming onto him in a really bizarre way. He had, but that was none of this man’s business as far as he was concerned.
“There’s no pressure, I promise. Here, my website is on the card. If you see what you like, you gimme a call, okay?” The man had winked, grabbed his coffee, and left.
Joel was left sitting in the middle of that coffee shop stunned into silence.
Later that night, sitting in front of the laptop Sarah nearly forced on him, he clumsily typed (using only his index fingers) the name of the website from the business card into the search bar.
Love Bites
The name and the man, Max Phillips according to the card, and his invasive question should’ve told him everything he needed to know, but Joel wasn’t prepared for the absolute onslaught of nudity he was met with.
“Jesus–” Joel mumbled to himself, slamming the laptop closed. Not that that would take it away, but he could hope. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, shaking his head to himself. “The fuck you get yourself into, Miller?” He grumbled.
Slowly, and with one eye closed, he opened his laptop again. Once he got both eyes on it again, the website wasn’t… too bad. Well, it was still a porn site, but it wasn’t anything he hadn't seen before. He started looking around some more and didn’t bother turning it down. He lived alone now, both girls having moved out within the last year or so. He missed the hell out of them, and frankly, found himself bored more often than not. He and Tommy still owned Miller Contracting, but Joel stuck to the delegating and organizing part now. He had too many knee and back problems to keep up on the actual building part.
His finger rolled over to the “profiles” section of the website. He raised a brow and clicked on the trackpad hesitantly. There were several headshots of the men that made content for the website. He felt his cock twitch in his jeans and cleared his throat awkwardly, exhaling heavily. Well, it… had been a while. What could it hurt, right?
He did have a lot of options…
Dark eyes trailing over the men on the site, he smiled softly. They all had little biographies that explained what their sexualities and preferences were. He snorted a little at seeing two different cowboys; one gay and a little older than himself, the other bisexual and perhaps around the same age. The younger cowboy had a prominent mustache and had a preference for “tying people up”. Bit on the nose in Joel’s opinion, but there was something for everyone. The older cowboy tended toward more amateur-style, “romantic” videos. Joel’s heart softened a little, but decided he wasn’t really in the mood for that sort of thing.
In his search, he found just about everything; a messy haired, self proclaimed “adventurous” sort, a masked man that liked to roleplay, a clean cut looking man that considered himself a “romantic”. You name it, they probably had it. But his eyes landed on a particular man…
He had deep, intense eyes and a thick mustache. His hair was styled like he walked out of the 80s and he was wearing a thin gold chain. He had a bit of a Burt Reynolds thing going on, and normally that wouldn’t be something Joel was into, but this time, well…
Joel clicked on his – Javier’s – page and started browsing the videos he had available. His bio said he was “fluid and polyamorous”, but Joel didn’t know what that meant. Wow, he was… popular. That didn’t surprise Joel at all, but his eyes landed on one of Javier’s “solo” videos. It looked like it was filmed in his apartment, but it probably wasn’t from how well lit it was. The video started off like Joel guessed all of them did; a fancy graphic with the words “Love Bites” in the center of the screen before the sound effect of someone taking a bite out of something, and a faint moan. The tips of Joel’s ears warmed, but he pressed on, watching Javier walk onto screen and sit in the middle of the couch that was in frame.
Javier’s jeans were very tight, but maybe even moreso because of how fucking hard he looked to be. Joel swallowed a lump in his throat, his cock twitching again. Javier had an easy smirk on his handsome face, but he seemed like he didn’t have the cockiness that Joel expected a pornstar to have. The video seemed like it was personally sent to Joel and that thought made Joel’s cock stand to attention almost comically quickly. Unzipping his own jeans, he groaned at the constriction leaving, allowing him to breathe easier. He squeezed his cock and looked back at the video, Javier already getting started without him. He was stroking his own cock slowly, almost teasingly, biting a plump bottom lip. Joel moaned and shut his eyes for a quick second as he took himself in hand–
Ring, ring.
Joel groaned, squeezing his cock harder, and dug his phone out of his pocket. Tommy. He sighed and paused the video on Javier’s blissed out face and big hand wrapped around his–
Ring, ring.
“Christ, Tommy, what is it?” He grumbled, pressing the too-new-for-his-liking phone to his ear.
“Jesus, who pissed in your oatmeal this mornin’?” Tommy’s easy voice filtered in, a chuckle wrapped around his words. “And why are ya outta breath? Ya okay?”
“What–? Yeah, ‘m fine, Tommy. Why y’callin’?”
“Wonderin’ if ya could stop by tonight. Maria’s makin’ meatloaf and I know ya like it.”
Joel did really like Maria’s meatloaf. He sighed to himself and shut his laptop, his cock having softened considerably since hearing his brother’s voice. “Yeah,” he cleared his throat, trying to subtly zip up his jeans while he held the phone against his shoulder. “I’ll come over in a little bit, just gotta… gonna make a phone call.”
“Ooh, ya finally have a date, old man?”
“Can it,” Joel grunted. “‘M forty-three. Ain’t that old. And no, I was gonna call Sarah. See how her classes are goin’.”
“Send her our love, will ya? ‘N tell her she’ll have a cousin soon. Maria’s ‘bout to pop any day. ‘M scared to death,” Tommy sighed. The happiness was clear in his voice, though. Joel was happy for him, and smiled to himself. “How’s Ellie doin’, by the way?”
“Good. Think she said somethin’ ‘bout joinin’ a… roller derby team? Don’t rightly know, but,” he shrugged to himself. “Sounded like somethin’ she’d like, way she was describin’ it.”
Talking on the phone with Tommy always went the same way. He’d find a way to chew up a couple hours of your time, but Joel never minded. Once they said their goodbyes and their I-love-yous, Joel picked up Max Phillips�� business card and sighed, rubbing his thumb over the phone number.
What could it hurt, right?
That was two years ago. He’s been working for Love Bites for two years and had been avoiding Javier Peña as much as he could.
Joel’s never been good at… initiating conversations. Ellie would always give him shit for it. She usually went up to whoever had caught Joel’s eye and slyly made it her goal to get them to come over to him.
But Ellie wasn’t here and she never would be. His girls knew what he did and even if they were a little concerned for him at first, they saw how much happier he’d been since joining. He was healthier, gaining a bit of “chub” as Sarah called it, and a healthier glow to his skin. He was on camera more often now, so he had to eat well and work out a little more. He didn’t do anything too crazy, and the audience that watched his videos had a lot of positive opinions and comments about his physique. It made him blush to think about it for too long, so he tried not to.
What was he saying?
Oh, right. Avoiding Javier Peña.
He’d had a huge crush on him ever since that first video he watched, and frankly, didn’t want to make a fool of himself if he talked to him. He’s filmed one video with him and it was the best Joel had felt in years. He almost came too quickly, and the video was supposed to be twenty minutes long. They had to pause so Joel could calm himself down, but Javier was patient and lovely with him. Javier had been doing this a lot longer than Joel had, so he wasn’t worried, which made Joel feel better. Just a little embarrassed. Afterwards, he had to leave, making up a story about seeing his girls for dinner that night.
“Javi!”
Joel’s eyes snapped up from his phone. He was in the middle of texting Sarah, saying that he’d call her when he got home from work. He had a scene with Dieter today.
And there he was. God. Joel’s cheeks flushed at the sight of Javier standing in the hall in his robe. He must’ve just finished his scene with Shane, the new kid. He couldn’t hear what he was saying, but the sound of Javier’s deep, commanding voice was enough to send a chill down Joel’s spine. Before he knew it, Javier was talking animatedly with Steve, another actor, as they walked off down the hall and disappearing around a corner.
He knew, realistically, relationships between porn actors could happen. Silva and Jake had been together for years. Joel’s problem with that was, well… Joel. His last real relationship was with Sarah’s mom years ago, and when the girls were in high school he had a relationship with this guy, Ezra for a while.
Smack!
“Jesus–!” Joel jumped, holding onto one of his ass cheeks protectively. Only one person would have done that.
“Hey, handsome,” Dieter grinned, sticking a hand down the back pocket of Joel’s jeans and squeezing. “Getting lost in Javi’s eyes again?” He winked.
“N-no! I am not,” Joel grumbled, finishing off his text and shoving his phone in his pocket.
Dieter snorted and rolled his eyes, then removed his hand to hold it out for Joel to take. “C’mon, big guy. You get to cum on my face today,” he smirked.
Filming with Dieter always felt good. He was a bit wild for Joel’s personal tastes, but he always made sure Joel was comfortable, and today was no different.
Joel was playing a “plumber” that needed to work on Dieter’s “pipes”. This of course led to Dieter offering to “pay” in his own way.
“Oh, come on, big guy like you doesn’t need money, right?” Dieter recited his lines expertly, running a hand down Joel’s t-shirt covered chest. “Bet it gets lonely doing this sort of work, huh?”
Joel had gotten a lot better at the acting part of things over the past couple of years. He was super stiff (and not in the right way) in the beginning, but now, he easily plastered on a smirk, eyes glued to Dieter’s lips. “Sometimes,” he shrugged, a big hand hovering over Dieter’s shoulder. Dieter saw the hand out of the corner of his eye and grinned, curling his fingers around Joel’s thick wrist and moving it down to his ass.
Joel smirked, squeezing the plump flesh appreciatively. “Bit forward o’ you,” he rumbled.
Dieter visibly shivered and bit his lip. “Sexy guy like you, of course I am,” he breathed. He leaned forward and kissed Joel messily, the hand on Joel’s torso moving down to unzip his jeans. Joel was already painfully hard and grunted into Dieter’s mouth when his pants were opened and lowered enough to pull his cock free. Dieter moaned and curled his fingers around Joel’s shaft, pumping rhythmically.
They stayed like that for a while; open mouth kisses, heavy breathing from Joel, and Dieter’s moans being picked up by the mics.
Dieter pulled away to look down at the thick cock in his hand and bit his lip at the sight. “Fuck,” he groaned, his own cock twitching in his sweats. “Can I suck your cock?” He looked up at Joel demurely, eyes big and nearly black with desire.
Joel forgot he was supposed to be acting for a minute and grunted, hips bucking into Dieter’s grasp. “F-fuck, yeah,” he nodded, eyes glazed over. Dieter smiled and guided Joel over to the couch on the set. Technically, Dieter was supposed to get on his knees in the “kitchen”, but he knew Joel wouldn’t be able to stand for that long with his back problems. Sometimes Dieter’s improv classes came in handy. Max couldn’t complain too much, as long as Dieter sucked Joel off, then the video was still following the script.
Joel grunted as he sat, hard cock swaying slightly. Dieter giggled a little and happily got down on his knees, hands traveling up and down Joel’s thighs appreciatively. “Such a pretty cock,” he hummed, licking his lips as he watched it twitch in front of him, a drop of pre-cum gathering at the tip.
“Why dontcha put that mouth to use, then?” Joel smirked, gripping the base and tapping the head against Dieter’s cheek. “Want your discount, right?”
Dieter smiled and opened his mouth wide, eyes shut in pure bliss. Joel gripped Dieter’s messy curls and held him still as he hit the head of his cock against Dieter’s tongue. Dieter moaned and opened his eyes, watching Joel’s face for any cues to stop. They never came, but it was something they all had to keep an eye on. When everything seemed to be going well, he happily wrapped his mouth around the head of Joel’s cock and started bobbing his head up and down.
He moaned, the vibrations traveling down Joel’s cock and up his spine, making Joel groan in return. “Mmm, knew you’d be good with your mouth,” he grinned, holding the back of Dieter’s head to set a pace Joel liked better.
Dieter heard a cameraman move to his right to get a better angle of his mouth, so he amped it up a little. He got messier, saliva dripping down along the sides of Joel’s shaft. Joel moaned weakly, resting his head on the back of the couch, but keeping one of his hands tangled in Dieter’s messy curls. Dieter started bobbing his head slower, eyes locked on Joel’s face as he moved further down his shaft, taking as much as he could down his throat. He choked slightly and pulled off, pre-cum and saliva covering his mouth and Joel’s cock. He smiled up at Joel and panted heavily, curling his fingers around the base to pump the thick cock.
Joel’s eyes rolled back and he grunted, hips bucking off the couch. “C’mere,” he breathed, heavy work boots landing heavily on the set floor as he stood. “Gonna fuck your face.”
Dieter shivered at the low timbre of Joel’s voice and nodded happily up at him. He pulled his sweats down and gripped his own cock in hand and started stroking himself rhythmically. Dieter opened his mouth for Joel obediently and nearly choked again when Joel shoved his cock down Dieter’s throat. He moaned weakly when Joel’s hips started moving, his heavy balls slapping against Dieter’s chin.
Dieter just had to take it, the lewd sounds of Joel fucking his face filling the otherwise quiet room. He fucking loved it because Joel was subtly massaging Dieter’s scalp and it sent shivers down his spine. His fist was almost a blur over his own cock and tears leaked out of his eyes, a blush high on his cheeks.
“Mmm, bein’ such a good boy f’me,” Joel grunted, biting his lip to rein it in a little. Dieter moaned at the praise, eyebrows downturned in pleasure. “Yeah? Like bein’ my good boy?”
Dieter whined and nodded as best he could, eyes completely glazed over. Joel slowed down his hips a little and let Dieter breathe for a minute. Dieter panted hard, a near-dopey smile on his face. “Come on my face,” he breathed heavily, extending his tongue for Joel. “Please.”
It was Joel’s turn to shiver as he slapped the head of his cock against Dieter’s face again. “Gonna have to earn it,” Joel smirked, reciting his lines as well as he could.
Dieter whined and pouted up at him, his own hand slowing down a little. He didn’t say anything, letting Joel continue.
“Make me come, and I’ll paint this pretty face o’ yours.”
Dieter’s face lit up and he curled his fingers around Joel’s shaft. He watched Joel’s face while he wrapped his lips around the head and bobbed his head. His free hand held Joel’s hip and subtly moved to his ass and squeezed. He moaned around Joel’s cock and shut his eyes briefly before obediently looking up at him, big eyes wet and innocent.
“Atta boy,” Joel grunted, cupping Dieter’s face lovingly. Dieter removed his mouth to kiss down his length as he stroked him, attaching his lips to one of Joel’s balls. “Mmm, fuck,” Joel breathed, tipping his head back.
The hand on Joel’s ass moved slightly until one of Dieter’s fingertips prodded at Joel’s asshole. Joel grunted in surprise and smiled down at Dieter. “Really want me all over ya, huh?”
“Yes,” Dieter nodded, sucking one of Joel’s balls into his mouth. “Please.”
“Keep talkin’ like that and– ooh, fuck – Jus’ might get your wish,” Joel panted, shutting his eyes. He felt the build up in his lower stomach, his cock twitching violently in Dieter’s hand. “C’mere, baby boy,” he grinned, taking his cock back to stroke himself over Dieter’s face.
Dieter was buzzing, lifting Joel’s t-shirt to lovingly caress his hairy tummy, mouth open wide and obedient.
Joel felt his balls draw up and his hips buck until– “Fuck–! Shit,” He moaned, thick ropes of come spurting out from the tip of his cock and landing on Dieter’s face and mouth. He caressed Dieter’s hair, thick fingers massaging his scalp while the other hand stroked himself until his balls were completely empty.
Dieter happily licked his mouth clean, and hid his face in Joel’s stomach, whimpering into the sweaty skin. He moaned weakly, his entire body trembling as he came, completely untouched. Dieter was the only one in the cast that could do that, and he loved showing it off as much as he could.
“Shit,” Joel smiled, petting Dieter’s sweaty curls back and out of his face. “Ain’t you a sight.”
“Cut!”
Dieter deflated, a huge grin on his face. He started giggling into Joel’s stomach and smiled up at him. “Fucking love your cock, Joel,” he hummed happily.
“That’s what you always say,” Joel snorted, helping him up onto his feet. Dieter was a little wobbly still and cuddled into Joel’s side. He always got a little clingy after a scene, but Joel didn’t mind. As different as they were, Joel would probably consider Dieter one of his closest friends. It always worked in their favor, their natural chemistry and closeness coming through the cameras.
They were handed a couple towels and some water, the both of them taking them gratefully. Max came up to them, his usual shit-eating grin on his face. Joel always thought Max reminded him of a vampire, with that mischievous glint in his eye that always seemed to be there.
“Great show, boys,” Max started. “Dieter, d’you mind if I steal Joel away for a second?”
Dieter whined and clinged onto Joel tighter. Joel grinned and hugged him back. “Sorry, boss, looks like he ain’t leavin’ anytime soon.”
Max rolled his eyes, but continued anyway. “Fine. Meant to tell you earlier, but things got rolling, you know how it is–”
“What is it, Max?”
“You’ve got a scene with Javier tomorrow.”
If there were a record player anywhere, Joel would probably hear it scratching right about now. Dieter paused too, and looked up at Joel with worried eyes. He knew all about Joel’s crush, and was always telling Joel to just go for it. Joel froze briefly, but tried to school his emotions as best he could.
“O-okay, um. What time?” He asked shakily, gripping Dieter’s fluffy robe tighter.
“I’m thinking around noon? That way Javier can prepare, y’know?”
Preparing was always done before a particularly intense scene. Joel tried really hard not to think about Javier wearing a plug for a while before coming to set.
“Right,” Joel nodded, cheeks going a little pink. “I’ll be there.”
“You’re the best, Joel!” Max snapped his fingers and walked off, talking to a couple of assistants.
Dieter tapped on his chest and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “You really gotta say something, Joel,” he said softly.
Joel sighed and nodded. He knew that.
He just didn’t know what.
#joel miller#dieter bravo#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller series#dieter bravo fanfiction#dieter bravo fic#dieter bravo smut#dieter bravo series#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal cinematic universe#ppcu fanfiction#oaksfics
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My thoughts about goodomensverse (I'm clinically insane) (my personal opinion) (long post)
Book Crowley:
- absolute disaster
- lonely boy
- grumpiest
- he's so in love with Aziraphale but didn't even realised yet
- a bit dumb sometimes ngl
- very tired
- he's trying so hard save earth and everything he knows but everytime he tries to explain why it's always AZIRAPHALE
- sometimes he's like... your old gay uncle, the old gay uncle of the family except it's a 6000 years old gender fluid demon
- HISS LIKE A SNAKE GANG
- got called dear once and them died (figuratively)
Radio Crowley:
- flirty
- "Humm have you ever seen me in a dress~~??"
- he's like flirting with Aziraphale 24/7
- 0 patience this man is a BOMB
- if Aziraphale ever EVER got slightly flirty with him back he will EXPLODE
- smartest of them all, he's very intelligent
- HISS LIKE A SSSSSNAKE GANG
- he's so in love with Aziraphale and it makes him SO FRUSTRATED
- his Aziraphale is the hardest one to reach, maybe this is why he's so deliberately obvious and direct with him (he's resilient, he will never give up)
- he's like a tsudere teenager collegial except he's a 6000 years old demon with serious issues
- not called dear yet poor soul </3
TV Crowley:
- SILLY
- he's the dumbest of them all, sorry 😭
- red hair
- he's so in love with Aziraphale and everyone notice it's SO OBVIOUS
- he's the most affected by The Bookshop Burning ™ event
- the only one who got to kiss the angel, good for him ig, or sorry, idk
- anxiety bomb he literally (literally) EXPLODE
- strongest soldier bc his Aziraphale is IMPOSSIBLE
- got dumped 2 times more than the others someone pls help him
- the most brave tho
- doesn't hiss a lot :/ free him from this madness let him hiss
- he's like a puppy with giant yellow eyes except it's a 6000 years old snake demon that lies all the time
- protective as hell this man wouldn't let anyone near Aziraphale if possible
- got called dear but at what cost??????????????
Book Aziraphale:
- Anxious all the time, religious trauma except the god is your father and he left you and never talk to you again and the guard angels are your siblings and they want you do be dead
- He's so soft he wants so bad to comfort Crowley but he's really hard to reach
- his Crowley is the most difficult of all of them, he needs to circle him a lot to get in touch
- this man got called names so often I don't think he even cares anymore
- he's very nerdy
- he's the calmest of them all
- really chill
- everyone is so mean to him for no reason
- he has 1 braincell tbh and it's really bad bc his Crowley is not that brilliant too they're both stupid sometimes
- he really REALLY wants to be with Crowley and Crowley only, he sounds almost obligated to be with heaven
- he is really kind to others even when they don't deserve
- he called Crowley dear once and then implode
Radio Aziraphale:
- full of himself
- bastard
- the most closed and oblivious of them all
- he tries to play cool with Crowley all the time (he's slowly getting insane and someday he will jump on this man)
- he's the most self sufficient one he barely holds on Crowley to anything and they're pretty independent
- Crowley can say shit like "Miss me angel~~??" and he would keep a bored face and not react at all (he screamed with the walls 4 hours later)
- he's also a tsudere collegial but he at least try to look cool and composed in public
- he's the Aziraphale that most believes in heaven, he's sure they are good and selfless and the right side
- he's not so brilliant tbh but he got a lot of spirit
- the most active Aziraphale ?? He really put his hand in the dirt and do the things alone
- the most angry and bad tempered of them all, bro scream "WE ARE CLOSED LOOK AT THE DAMN SIGN" when ppl barely touch the bookshop door
- he has a lot of patience with Crowley, not deserved tbh bc he thinks it's his personal job to get in Aziraphale's nerves
- overall he is polite
- he's really proud of their "arrangement" there not only one chance he let go without saying that
- he likes to provoke Crowley sometimes too but not as much as the other way around
- if he ever call Crowley dear he will explode
TV Aziraphale:
- bitchiest
- this man need to be sedated what the fuck Aziraphale
- most nuts of then all he's CRAZY
- he's the most up to do shit with Crowley they're insane together
- he doesn't let Crowley rest he is flirting and being cute and hitting on Crowley all the time
- he's so obviously in love with Crowley its embarrassing
- he's the fruitiest he's the entire salad
- the most... indulgent, if I can say, of them all
- more like an employer of heaven, different of book Aziraphale
- he's the only one with almost white hair
- he got kissed but at what cost
- he's the most intelligent of all of them how can he be this dumb
- he loves little things about earth and humans and life and he seems to be the Aziraphale that most love EARTH itself, like, the life, the humans, the food, the little pleasures we have, the little time of happiness we have between all the shit that is happening... he really loves humans <3
- he's conflicted about heaven, he seems to know that there's something WRONG with how heaven works but still doesn't understand what exactly it is
- "oh but saving me makes him soooo happyyyy~~~"
- overall kind and sweet, in a excited way
#good omens#good omens 2#aziracrow#crowley#Aziraphale#radio omens#good omens radio#good omens book#thats my opinion#more like some thoughts i have been collecting since im hearing radio omens#not really accurate#does this count as character study????#lol I think not#maybe i have a preference for radio Aziraphale i wrote so much more about him and ended up erasing it all bc it made me look insane#shit its 2 am I'm so sleepy
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YAP [RANT] TO ME ABT HEAVY!!!!!
HE'S SO FUCKING PERFECT.
I get MAD when people simp for medic bc, I understand, tumblr insane sexy man blabla yadda yadda IDGAF
You all CAN'T SEE HOW MUCH OF A PERFECT PERSON HE IS. He's such a good person, he's such a good son and older brother, doin the dishes for his mama, caring about the absolute safety of his sisters, LITERALLY SAVING EM FROM A THING I FORGOT IT'S NAME WHEN HE WAS LIKE, IDK FUCKIN <20< ??? HE'S SUCH A GOOD FAMILY MEMBER. HE WOULD PROTECT U SO WELL AND ALWAYS CARE ABOUT UR SAFETY. AUGH ES UN HOMBRE Q RESUELVE LO JURO. HE ALSO RISKS HIS LIFE TO HAVE MONEY FOR THEM??? AAAAAAAAAAA. He does enjoy his job a lot (WHICH I LOVE IN SOMEONE. HELL YEAH ENJOY UR JOB AND GET WELL PAID), But the main reason of him working is just for his family and the money to help them. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?????
Also HE'S SUCH A GOOD TEAMMATE???? HE WILL PROTECT ALL OF HIS TEAM WITHOUT FEAR AND WIN??? AND ALL HE NEEDS IS SOME CUNTY GAY ASS GERMAN DUDE BEHIND HIM??. He could be such a good grandpa/father figure or even just a really good n close friend to all the mercs, but even so, he acts so cold so quiet and mysterious around em🤭
AND ALSO!!! His masculinity ain't broken by showing love to his teammates??? He can hug em and literally yell to them "I LOVE YOU" from across the map??? Sayin "I LOVE YOU DOKTOR!!" Isn't common between men, even less in that time. If he IS gay, good for him! If he isn't, I'm glad he can express how much he loves someone without the fear of lookin weak is something I admire soso muchhh.
He has a minigun the SIZE OF MY FUCKIN BODY THAT HE CAN CARRY RUNNING WITHOUT ANY KIND OF PROBLEM??? HE COULD CARRY ME AROUND LIKE A STICK AND WOULDN'T EVEN AAHAGAJSHDHAGSH DO YOU REALIZE HE TAKES CARE OF THAT GUN LIKE SHE WAS HIS CHILD??? HE'S A GOOD FUCKING PARENT TOO?? AAAHHHH IM NORMAL
He's a good cook, he cooks really nice meals and doesn't mind to share u some, which I wouldn't do bc I don't share my food. HESO NICE AUGHH. I LOVE IT WHEN MA BOI COOKS😭😭😭 IDK WHY THAT MAKES PEOPLE MORE ATTRACTIVE FOR ME.
Also, HE'S SO FUCKING PRETTY???????? IDGAF HE'S BALD, THAT'S THE BEST PARTY. HIS BLUE EYES ARE SO PRETTY N HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ARE SO SILLYY
LOOK AT HIM!!!! AUGHHH
Also his body is so JAHSLAHDJQHDJALSH he so big so perfect😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔 His arms are the size of my whole body. AND HIS HANDS AAAAAAAAAA. He so FAT I LOVE HIM. I need him to crush me un a hug so badly. U all don't understand how much of a good body that could be in a relationship. U cold? U hug him problems gone. U wanna be cozy at night but the pillow is too small? He's the biggest pillow and he can hug u back that's soNSHSJAVDJSHD. He can carry u in his arms when u tired, u can lay on his chest and everything.... sighhh.... AND ALSO HE CAN FIGHT A BEAR WITH HIS BARE FISTS AND WIN, THEN EAT IT???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT IS????? LIKE HOLY FUCK THAT'S LIKE THE PEAK OF MANLINESS FOR ME. The question "would u rather be in a forest with a man or with a bear" I'M CHOOSING THIS BEAR HOLY FUCK HE WOULD PROTECT ME FROM THE BEARS.
ALSO HIS VOICE OH GOD HIS VOICE. It's such a loud and strong voice in English 🤭 even tho he isn't the best at it (me neither), HE SPEAKS IN SUCH A WAY IT MAKES ME KICK MY FEET GIGGLE AND CRY. I need him to say nice stuff to me with his cool asf voice. And when IT'S IN RUSSIAN AHHH😩~ I SWEAR He's such an elegant and polite man😭😭😭 he sounds so professional and ajsvqkebalhdmaoevs And IDC what u all say to me, he could sing so perfectly<3 for me his dialogs of him singing are well sung/GEN. I just imagine him singing:
To me.... Ik the song is kinda sad and not very romantic but IDC HE WOULD SOUND SO PERFECTLY.
HE HAS A PHD IN RUSSIAN LITERATURE LIKE....... HE'S SO FUCKING SMART. HE'S ALSO PRETTY FUCKIN RICH??? IT COST 400,000 DOLLARS TO FIRE HIS WEAPON FOR 12 SECONDS???? AND I'M PRETTY SURE THAT IF HE KNOWS THAT HE'S 1. really fucking smart 2. THE ONE WHO PAYS??? Even if he wasn't rich I still love him a lot but I'm poor so that would make it slightly better. AND ALLTHE MONEY TO HIS FAMILY MOSTLY AUGHHH ALSHAKSHAKDHA
Also his COSMETICS. HIS FUCKING COSMETICS ARE SO HOT AAAAAAA. Most of em are normal silly hats but WHEN THEY AREN'T. OHMY GOD THOSE DARK GLOVES GOT MY LEGS SHAKIN. AND HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN SUITS??? OH GOD AUGHHH. Not into mafia people n stuff BUT.... FOR HIM I MAKE A BIG AHH EXCEPTION. And also, i want to point out the fact that HE WEARS DRESSES. I shouldn't make it a big dear but DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S THE 60's-70's???? AND HE'S A BIG RUSSIAN MAN???? He broke the gender dressing codes of the time not only bc he's a man wearing dresses, but a BIG MAN WEARING THEM??? AND A RUSSIAN MAN??? DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME????💔💔💔💔 Also his hats are cute I like them.
Just to summary:
Medic < HEAVY!!!
Good person I general, son, older brother, teammate, friend, father and possible partner, risking his life for his family.
He doesn't think lovin teammates is weird or GAY. Unless he is, but honestly good for him
STRONG AS HELL. AJGAJAHDJA
GOOD COOK!!!!
PRETTY!!!!!PRETTY REALLY PRETTY!!! HANDSOME
GORGEOUS FREAKING BODY.
FOUGHT WITH A BEAR AND WON
VOICE OF AN ANGEL!!!!
SMART AND RICH??? AND HE DESERVES TO BE RICH.
AMAZING STYLE.
DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GENDER NORMS.
YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. AAAGHHHHH ILOVEHIM YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T YOU CAN'T YOU YOU ALL CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU ALL DON'T UNDERSTAND.
#deltas consulting room#deltas men obssesion#deltas AUGH#deltas yappin#tf2#tf2 heavy#heavy tf2#HEAVY APPRECIATION#I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT HIM#ask#asks#asks open#The Flower N The Bear
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review sockathan ! 👻👻👻
woah how'd you make that green
SOCKATHAN YAOI REVIEW
Disclaimer: This will contain spoilers (kind of) for Welcome to Hell 2 Part 1 and Welcome to Hell. You should probably go watch that. Its made by Erica Wester and its PRETTY cool.)
My Yaoi Entrepreneurs, I'll be blunt with you. I know we've ALL seen gay people, maybe in the streets, maybe at the park. You might even see one in your home now, so lets be honest with ourselves. Sock is DEFINITELY gay, bisexual at LEAST.
The OTHER one on the other hand.. its a little bit harder to say.. I'll probably find something though..
Lets make one thing clear, when I say Yaoi in this review. I don't mean ANYTHING inappropriate. Its just my special way of saying gay people.. I'm kinda magical in that sense.
Lets just get the first one done and over with a simple section I like to call:
EVIDENCE 1: SOCK IN GENERAL
okay so FIRST of all the FIRST time we see sock, they call Jonathan "hot stuff" while being in a fridge. I'm not sure about you but that's love if I ever saw it.
After that they introduce you to Sock killing his parents. One key point after another. If Sock being gay wasn't important, then WHY was it shown BEFORE telling us Sock's (other) main trait. Checkmate liberals.
Sock would then get the report from Mephistopheles, and you COULD say its just because the camera zoomed in, but its literally the most light ever seen in Sock's eyes.
And then Sock went on to ruin Jonathan's day, making him look crazy, and Jonathan SOMEHOW got blamed for knocking down that desk, I swear I think the teachers just hate him. I'm not sure about you but I certainly cant KNOCK over a desk thats right next to me.
He was WRITING too.. would a guilty man of desk flipping WRITE?? NO!!
And not to mention that Sock made Jonathan look DUMB in front of the faceless brothers which was probably the closest time that Sock did their job right.
Sock absolutely ruined it today.. but can you blame them? They're new to the job, give them some SLACK.
But the upcoming days, Sock was so whimsical.
Yeah SURE. Sock is still telling Jonathan to kill himself, but they just don't want to get fired!!
Not to mention the fact that they stared at Jonathan while they were taking a piss, but there's nothing odd about that.
And also near the end, Mephistopheles calls sock out on liking the guy, and Sock stutters. You just have to take my word for it.
SOCK IN GENERAL 2 [PART 1]
If you saw Welcome to Hell 2 [Part 1], you already know what I'm gonna comment about. Sock went on to call Jonathan's mother, hot. They then went on to say "Must be where you got it from, huh? You definitely got her butt at least."
When Jonathan goes on a walk and Sock follows them and says after Jonathan says he doesn't wanna be friends with them. (We'll get back to that)
"Oh wow, come to think of it, You don't really have ANYONE do YOU? What's that feel like? Knowing you're gonna die alone." to which Jonathan snaps back with "I dunno Sock, you tell me."
Now at first, this looks like a scene of ANTI SOCKATHAN propaganda, but think with me here, yaoiers. How would Jonathan know that Sock died alone??
I understand if he just guessed, since sock DOES look like someone who would die alone, or he just said whatever comeback that came to his head but if not, Sock ALREADY told Jonathan about their past life.
If what I KNOW is true, Sock VENTED to Jonathan about their life before they died in LESS than a week, since Sock just now sees Jonathan's mother in the first part, and due to a comment made by the creator.
Sock REALLY trusts this guy, maybe Mephistopheles didn't want to hear them vent, but maybe its JUST because Sock wanted Jonathan to do the same. but they probably didn't.
And then near the end, Sock says to Jonathan when he snatched his employee manual
"Jonathan, if something happens to you-"
Actually, I think this is pretty weak evidence but I thought I'd include it, since a teacher would say the same thing if a kindergartener was up on a high shelf.
That segment was PRETTY lengthy, but I PROMISE you, the others will be shorter, I just.. didn't expect there to be so much for Sock...
EVIDENCE 2: SOCK SUCKS AT THEIR JOB.
Jonathan was DEAD ON when they told Sock that they suck at their job. And quite honestly.. I could've done it better.. I could've got Jonathan to kill himself (theoretically) on the FIRST day, and if you wouldn't use my strategy, I promise you that there's probably several other you could use for the teenager that you want them to kill themselves at home.
STEP 1: GRAB A WEAPON
Since Sock is seen to be able to flip over a desk and they're able to HOLD Jonathan's journal (Shock or not), I should THEORITCALLY be able to grab a weapon, now for this strategy, I suggest you pick a nonlethal option, only to have a lethal option around, for this example, I will be using a sledgehammer.
After swinging that at the noggin, Jonathan would drop unconscious, probably with brain damage (that don't matter though)
STEP 2: POSSESS THE TEENAGER
Now it MAY not be like this in w2h, but Mephistopheles was able to possess Jonathan when he was DEAD (Probably), so It should hopefully work when they're out of consciousness.
STEP 3: KILL YOURSELF.
Alright now I KNOW that sounds bad.. but it wouldn't be MY hands to kill him. Grab the nearby lethal and SHOOT. THAT. TEENAGER!! Your boss may not agree with the logistics of this, but you get the job done.
This simulation was to PROVE that Sock atleast CARES a bit about Jonathan to want to get to know him. and to not kill him on the spot. Now if It was the other way around.. I'm not exactly sure..
EVIDENCE 3: JONATHAN KINDA HATES SOCK
(he looks like hes standing up to a school bully)
At the beginning of Welcome to Hell, hes clearly annoyed and STILL is annoyed by some of Sock's actions by the end, but he atleast isn't mad enough to NOT act like he could put up with Sock. I think the closest thing to gayness from Jonathan was when he moved the backpack for Sock to sit down.
In Welcome to Hell 2, he IS PISSED at this guy, and honestly, if Sock kept on knocking down those desks, i CANT blame him..
Maybe Sock kinda ruined the vibe when they expressed their love for Jonathan's mother, its hard to say really..
Jonathan makes this very clear that he DOESN'T even wanna be Sock's friend, I mean HAVE YOU HEARD THE THEME SONG?
SUMMARY:
Sock wasn't able to win Jonathan's heart, making him tonight's biggest loser.
YAOI: 6.5/10
#welcome to hell#w2h#w2h2#w2h sock#w2h jonathan#welcome to hell 2#sockathan#sock sowachowski#yaoi#yaoireview#jonathan combs
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i’d take the bomb in your head and disarm it by @henrysfox (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Alex and Henry are students at NYU who randomly become dorm roommates. After a few short weeks of mutual dislike their friendship starts to grow - and could it actually be more ...?! At the end of the story, I was baffled that the two of them could be so completely clueless the whole time?! Then again, who am I to judge when someone settles for half-baked assumptions instead of just mustering up the courage and trying to have an honest conversation?! 😇 The story is so gentle, so angsty and Alex is just so vulnerable and soft - just beautiful and moving!
you are my mountain (you are my sea) by @alasse9 (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Five moments between Alex and Henry, starting with the visit to Alex's childhood home in Texas after Ellen's election victory, a vulnerable moment in the Brownstone, a vacation in Mexico City... This story isn't even close to 10,000 words, but it's so unbelievably powerful - I am still blown away! The author manages to hit on so many interpersonal aspects and delicate vibrations, to formulate soft, tender feelings and thoughts and describes Alex and Henry both so damn considerate and soulful - the author nailed it (imho), it's almost impossible to grasp!
Shatter Me by @historicallysam (book-verse)
@na-dineee: Henry and Alex are still Prince and First Son, some is canon, a lot slightly modified, but: Alex is out, Henry is not. He isn't even sure if he's gay or if he ever wants to acknowledge it - until he meets Alex and falls head over heels. The catch, on top of the homophobic Queen: Henry is engaged, his fiancée lovely, amazing even, and the wedding date is about to be set. How the author weaves together the familiar events and plotlines and their own ideas is brilliant! Not gonna lie: It was (to me) oppressive at times, really angsty - but also highly gripping!
The Consequences (of our Actions) (series) by @anchoredarchangel (book-verse)
@celeritas2997: Alex is just a Regular Guy who just happened to put Prince Henry on his 'No Consequences Sex List' and proceeds to tell him about this when they meet. Lots of sex (like, ridiculously hot sex) and feelings (SO MANY FEELINGS) ensue. I am convinced that Anchor is magic and will continue shouting about this series from the rooftops until the end of days; it is clever, sexy, funny, beautifully written and so, so, so heartfelt. ❤️
@heybuddy-drabbles: I started this when it first started and thought it was just some fun little pwp canon divergence. When I picked it up again, it was a hell of a series. I loved every last bit of it. It goes way into the whole "If cake gate didn't happen, Alex would have made himself a problem for Henry anyway" and he does in the most glorious way. I can't talk enough about HENRY in this though. It's mostly on Alex POV except the extra chapter but I'm OBSESSED WITH HENRY. How he's older. How he does things for himself like running the shelters with Pez even before he meets Alex. Anyway I could talk about Henry in this series for days but that's not why we are here for. Just, do yourself a favor and just read this.
5 Times Henry Hated New Year's + 1 Time He Didn't by @hgejfmw-hgejhsf (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This fic is such an emotional rollercoaster, but it's worth every gut-wrenching twist! It delves into each of the six parts so well that you feel like you're experiencing each of Henry's life experiences with him.
I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you by @gayrootvegetable (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This is the cutest combination of a high school AU and soulmate AU! This fic is short but so very sweet!
if you have a garden and a library... by @glasshouses-and-stones (book-verse)
@suseagull04: This fic is so cute! It's not technically a Cinderella AU, but it has those vibes, and the author does a great job with the setting. Another fic that's short but so sweet!
It takes a lot to know a man by dazedandconfused (book/movie-verse)
@inexplicablymine: when I tell you to mind the trigger warnings that is true, but I can also say my GOD is this fic fantastic the writing is superb and the pacing is right on and the plot is so intricately woven I am elated to recommend it everywhere I can. Talk about an in depth suspense thriller mixed with that sex club dom/sub trope mixed with a law case ~ truly there are no words to describe how much this work gripped me as I read through it
@dot524: The subject matter is heavy at times and so are the smut scenes, but also I was fascinated with the story. I didn’t expect it to end up in the intense culminating scene that it did.
Something borrowed, Something blue by @anincompletelist (book-verse)
@heybuddy-drabbles: Yes, I know I recommended this during our Wip Wednesdays but now I'm going to recommend it here for the peeps who only read complete works. Read this. I beg of you. It's so excellent. Henry's relationship with June is something so special to me in this. June and her little family, her daughter means the world to me as well. Alex and his complicated feelings for Henry, their "enemies" to lovers road is just. God I loved it so much. Henry. HENRY IN THIS. Just. Please read this.
hold on (get ready for the ride) by wilmonflicker (book-verse)
@wilmonsfolklore: a professional soccer/football AU that I binged and completely fell in love with. Alex transfers to the team where Henry is the star player, and they get together. it's beautifully written, smutty at times and perfect for sport lovers and non-sport lovers alike
check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️
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lesbian movies I've seen so far (review based on my tastes)
I'm going to give my opinion of the lesbian movies I've seen so far and I'm going to give them a score from 1 to 5 stars :3 it may contain some spoilers
Bound(1996)
For the year this movie was made, I was actually surprised by the END of it(fuck the obsession with killing the protagonist). I didn’t really have much faith in it by how it stars, but man, I was so surprised, I loved it, be gay do crime. ★★★★☆
Gia(1998)
God, this movie is my new roman empire, I didn’t know about Gia’s story, but the ending of the movie DESTROYED ME. the scene where shes talking with Linda and she says: now we have all the time in the world, I was so moved by it, I loved it. It’s currently one of my favorite movies.★★★★★
Lost and delirious(2001)
ugh shakespearean shit, this movie touches more than one of us when it comes to the experience of liking girls. I liked it but I felt like there was a lot of wasted potential that could’ve made it great, tbh i just wanted Paulie to be happy; the fact the Piper Perabo is in it helps the score too. ★★★☆☆
D.E.B.S.(2004)
ITS THE BEST FUCKING MOVIE IN THE WORLD, GOD. I actually hated this movie before watching it ‘cause I thought it was some dumb comedy, but god, when I gave it a chance it BLEW ME AWAY. If you want to see some lesbian spies enemies to lovers shit watch debs. ★★★★★
My summer of love(2004)
Personally, I HATED this movie kjj, I didn’t really get ANYTHING at all, like it felt like everything was just too rushed??? like when did they even fall in love lol? Gets points just for Emily Blunt. ★★☆☆☆
Imagine me & you(2005)
Piper Perabo again and Lena Heady THE WOMAN. This movie is ART, my fav movie, it’s beautiful, comfort movie af. The true don’t let your husband keep you from meeting your future wife. ★★★★★
Loving Annabelle(2006)
This movie was made for all of us who once liked a teacher or profesor. I liked it quite a lot, but I feel like seize it’s true potential. Personally, I choose to think that the alternative ending it’s the true one lol. ★★★☆☆
Bloomington(2010)
Again for us that like fantasizing about our teachers. I like this movie but again, I feel like they didn’t really make the most of it jskdja annoying af bitching about the same but yeah, it bothered me. Anyway, i liked the movie, and I didn’t like the ending at all,I felt bad for the poor teacher :c. ★★★☆☆
A perfect ending(2012)
I know a lot of people hate this movie and think it’s shit, but I personally love it lol. Idk I remember that when I watched it it got me super emotional and i liked it a lot, dont care what anyone says to me it’s a good movie. ★★★☆☆
The girl king(2015)
★☆☆☆☆
Didn’t like it at all, boring af, i didn’t really get it, idk, i was expecting more. ★☆☆☆☆
First girl i loved(2016)
Im fond of this movie, it was one of the first ones I saw, the ending just made a me a bit frustrated, but I liked it, Brianna Hildebrand with a wig funny as hell. ★★★☆☆
Disobedience(2017)
Rachel Weisz and McAdams DAMN. Great movie, I liked it in all aspects. Although the ending wasn’t what I expected I still liked it. ★★★★★
Tell it to the bees(2018)
Mmm I think this movie is kinda meh, like it’s okay but I feel like it lacks something for me to like it, tho I didn’t get the ending, like I don’t understand the decisions each one took. ★★☆☆☆
Ammonite(2020)
Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan!!!! I liked it but I didn’t love it, I never got to understand if Mary hated or loved Charlotte. The ending got me frustrated!!! ★★★☆☆
Crush(2022)
The kind of movie you gotta watch after Gia, I liked it I thought it was silly, like very much teenage romcom sort of shit, like the Kissing Booth but for lesbians. ★★★☆☆
You can live forever(2022)
I think this is a great movie, interesting story, I wasn’t expecting the whole ending sequence, what Marike says to Jamie destroyed me, in my head theyre the young version of the Disobedience ones. ★★★★★
Booksmart(2019)
GREAT MOVIE, very entertaining and funny, I liked it quite a lot, it’s perfect to watch it with friends. Gigi is just like me fr best character ever. ★★★★★
#wlw#sapphic#lesbianism#movies#wlw movies#lgbtq community#lgbtq#queer#queer community#lesbian#woman#booksmart#bound#gia#rachel weisz#rachel mcadams#saoirse ronan#kate winslet#piper perabo#rowan blanchard#angelina jolie#debs 2004
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GL odds and ends 10 November 2024
Still feeling out how regularly it makes sense to do this; first one was 2 weeks ago on 6 October, second was--oops--3 weeks ago on 20 October. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list through Feb 2024 and my update in July 2024. New series marked with an asterisk*.
Currently airing (with thoughts up to 10 Nov):
*The Fragrance You inherit 1/8 (Japanese, Friday/Saturday-ish, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog [thank you Siiri!] I wrote about episode 1 already, but just to keep it all in one place: this one looks great. Not really a GL, more a family drama with a lesbian at the center of the story. I'm doubtful we're going to actually get anything other than closure for the romance in this one.
Pluto ep 4/12 (Thai, Saturdays 9:30 AM EDT, YouTube) This plot continues to be absolutely wild (at this point both of them have suspected the other of being involved in attempted murder?!) but Namtan and Film stay gorgeous and serving so I am still tuned in.
Apple My Love ep 5/7 (Thai, Saturdays 11:45 AM EDT, GagaOOLala and YouTube) This show is very sweet and continues to hold up the recent Kongthup pattern of being great about things like sidestepping the most annoying drama tropes, showing great friendship dynamics including asking your friends about sex, and in this one, excellent sibling dynamics too.
The Loyal Pin ep 15/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Anin remains so brave. This latest episode felt a little like we rushed to the finish line, but I've really enjoyed the way this show has handled things overall to date. The show continues to enjoy faking us out in previews so I'm not going to speculate on the ending until we get it.
Red Whisper ep 7/8 (Korea, [schedule is kinda unpredictable; vaguely every 5 days??], YouTube) Oof we've graduated to actively upsetting me with the way this show has depicted nonmonogamy and bisexuality. For the record: Not all bisexuals are nonmonogamous, and entering a monogamous relationship under false pretenses and then acting like your partner is being unreasonable by not wanting an open relationship is shitty behaviour.
*The Nipple Talk 5/10 (Taiwanese, weird schedule: the first 5 dropped on Nov 8 and the last 5 will air Nov 22, GagaOOLala) I honestly owe this show a separate post, it is great! This is an ensemble show with the main character being a heterosexual woman but her two besties are a gay man and a lesbian woman, and the show follows all of them through relationship issues. There is a lot of sex, great conversations about sex, and different relationship styles from one night stand casual flings, to nonmonogamous casual regular sex partners, to long term monogamous relationships. It is very funny, fun, and charming as all hell. It's made a couple small stumbles in the first 5 episodes but I'm still enjoying it a lot. If you liked Diary of Tootsies, this is highly recommended!
Recently Completed:
Reverse 4 U 8eps (Thai, 3 Sept-22 Oct 2024, Netflix / YouTube) I did not like this finale--in the end I was sad where we ended up with this show and I hope we get to see these actors in something else. Also looking forward to more genre GL, which is in the works!
Unlock Your Love 8eps (Thai, 11 Sept-30 Oct 2024, GagaOOLala / YouTube) This show was a little slow, but it stayed cute and relatively low stakes, and the actors had excellent chemistry when they were allowed to do their thing, which was relatively often--I appreciated the amount of good kissing in this show lol. The plot meandered, and we forgot we were in a worklpace GL by the end, but I enjoyed this in spite of that.
Chaser Game W s2 8eps (Japanese, 19 Sept-7 Nov 2024, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up, but I'll add my thoughts to the finale here. Honestly this show did not do it for me for several reasons, but the main thing this final arc did that bothered me was introduce lesbian motherhood as a serious conflict, and then seemed to suggest that homophobia only exists because queer people are not brave enough. It rubbed me the wrong way. Plus the boss who sexually harassed characters in the first season was back to sexually harass characters in the second season with no consequence. I think this show was trying to do to much and as a result it didn't feel coherent.
Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:
A very short and cute Chinese GL Oh General! My General! aired on bilibili and was subtitled by @douqi7s on YouTube This short manages to speedrun training, shared bath, cheek kiss, forced separation, timeskip, and happy ending in 2 minutes
The sapphic backstory in The Hidden Moon concluded with a happy-in-the-afterlife ending
We also got more of the Aim as a Lesbian plotline in the new Love Sick 2024 remake again (this was not a plotline in the 2014 version and it's one of the changes I really like and that I think works really well; her conversation with her mother was a good scene)
The Thai lakorn The Empress of Ayodhaya had a kiss that earned very high ratings on Thai television (This show does not have international distribution so I can't cover it in any detail unfortunately)
Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out
Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!
Starting soon:
My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]
Mom Ped Sawan, Thai, 17 November [international distribution uncertain; it should be on VIPA app with subs, but that is region-locked]
Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, iQIYI
Mate, Thai, 26 November, WeTV
#gl series#gl meta#sapphic media#typed so that i can stop thinking it#kimi no tsugu kaori wa#the fragrance you inherit#pluto the series#apple my love#the loyal pin#red whisper#the nipple talk#reverse 4 you#unlock your love the series#chaser game w
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Ah, they're never going to write Byler aa endgame, a show like Stranger Things is never going to write the man couple as not straight.
(literally just read that so I have to address because this stressed me out).
Say with me, children.
Will Byers has been queer coded since episode 1. That's the story they've been meaning to tell since season freaking one.
We can actually see how Mike and Will's relationship is different from the start, from the very first episode. They make a point of showing us how their connection isn't the same as Mike's relationship with Dustin and Lucas.
And then, lo and behold.
The queer coded character is not only queer, but deeply in love with his best friend.
(Inserts angry Joy voice from Inside Out 2 here). Now TELL. ME. WHY. WOULD. THEY. FUCKING DO THAT?
I'm being serious.
Why in the world the show would make Will so in love with someone he's willing to sacrifice his own happiness for them? WHY?
Because let's be fucking for real, these writers can solve Mike and El's relationship without having to resort to a third party interference, we've seen them fucking do it already (hello, Lumax). Will didn't need to be fucking in love with Mike to help their relationship, as his best friend he'd be able to do without breaking his own heart in the end.
So yeah, sure, the gay kid who doesn't believe he'll ever be in love (gets to fall in love) but also doesn't believe he'll get a happy ending because he believes to be a mistake will in fact, end up alone or in a shallow relationship with some other boy that THEY COULD HAVE PRESENTED LAST FUCKING SEASON BECAUSE HELLO, ARGYLE EVERYONE?
That's the moral, they unnecessarily make the gay kid who has been through hell in love with the straight friend even though it serves no actual purpose to the plot, said kid never finds love and either ends up alone or in a some random relationship he doesn't even want.
Thanks for watching Stranger Things y'all, everyone gets a happy ending.
Except for Will Byers
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So, WOTFI 2024...
[Spoilers below cut]
I'm so excited! Got my bingo card ready and my popcorn, we gotta manifest good things here.
(the following is my live reaction:)
3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR Oh wait, wrong thing oops
happy to be here, Leggy (WE'LL SAVE YOU GUYS DON'T WORRY)
TENDER TUNNEL?! ...oh nevermind then. it's so over guys
OH Four, Mario!
this would've been such a Mar4 moment if it was still the Tender Tunnel cuz this reminds me a lot of the SMG34 tiktok kiss challenge
...wait is that... OMG IT'S TV TIME ARRANGEMENT OMG LET'S GOOOOOOOO marking this on the bingo card
the FNAF models....
"...a portrayal of my life." YES PLEASE give us more
the fact that Puzzles made a puppet of his child self just for this reenactment (i don't think he's ok guys)
oop, Leggy don't drop the child!
"Papa" gives so many flashbacks to other characters who call their abusive father "papa" (me, an Ace Attorney fan)
hold up, I need to talk about this for a bit. I know it may seem like random graffiti, but because it has gears and such, his future might've been set in stone. To become TV.
"I locked myself in my room and watched TV all day!" and no one checked up on him? Did he stay in that room all the way to adulthood?! Okay, the SMG4 universe has a different way of how time and body necessities work. But hunger and time are still things. The implications are kinda of messed up if you think about it: Mr Puzzles stayed in his room for YEARS without food or even sleep, watching everything on TV. He would've been a CORPSE by adulthood. No wonder Mr Puzzles has a thin waist.
"And the rest is history." No, Puzzles, you can leave us like this! I need more! What happened after he cut off his head, did he replace every limb of himself? What happened to his dad?
Well, we got more of his backstory ig, marking that for the bingo card
WOAH I knew Mr Puzzles swore before but DAMN
I might have to mark "Grudge against Four" box but we'll see
NEW OUTFITS OMG THAT GETS A MARKER
"We'll just have to go along with his twisted games for now." Hell yeah, you gotta be part of WOTFI, boys :)
AY SPECTACULAR TITLE CARD, LOVE THE ART
Blast-off Fire
this reminds me of Toy Story for some reason
C'mon guys, you can do it!
What's your idea, Mario? NO FOUR let him talk
WOW I LOVE [*ragdolls*]
OH IT WORKED
Insult-2-Dunk
OH the frame of what the challenge says has the 5 stars, I'm going to mark that
This is giving the hallway scene in IGBP, where Four has his thoughts on display
Yeah I'm going to count that as an IGBP reference
they really are boyfriends 💙💜 gay people do be sitting
really tempted to mark the "You Saved Me" box but I'll wait
That's... actually sad if all the negative thoughts SMG4 had in IGBP came from the YT comments. Not surprising but it makes sense why he would try to keep everyone happy.
"This is nothing." OH THAT'S EVEN WORSE SOMEHOW, SMG4. THE AUDIENCE IS ONE THING BUT KAREN, A CLOSE FRIEND, TOLD YOU TO KYS
idk I could just imagine Four saying a lot of horrible things to himself
DAMN MARIO
but also Four's been flirting with Three, you already know that Mario /hj
Slap Box
TARI WE'RE SORRY BUT WE HAVE TO SAVE YOU GUYS
well you did get a bit of karma for what you said earlier to Four, sorry Mario
HOLY SHIT YOU KILLED HER DUDE oop Four said it for me nvm
Ferris Wheel Frenzy
I got jump scared and thought it was my minigame lmao
"Survive"? OH, are they going to get stuck on the Wheel ride?
please 34 please 34 nooooooooooo fuck
Missed opportunity man, still pretty funny
Fire Bonanza
Wow, Bob, that trick was pretty good ngl
Did somebody say arson? :)
even I'm clapping!
Marware shippers, how are y'all feeling?
Tightrope Terror
OH just like in the trailer, right?
OOH THREE VS FOUR
...yeah, Three would win, I'm not even surprised
That's so sweet, like actually
This feels familiar... oh that's right
:)
Hey, I did say "love wins, love always wins"
And that didn't work for Leggy... but it worked on Four back then so that's nice :)
Sword Showdown
poster reference!
Can Mario even defeat Bob? and also, reference to the poster?
Oh shit Mario did the Sephiroth shot from the Smash announcement
Knife Throw
boyfriends throwing knives :)
also poster reference
"...avoid hitting our volunteers" IS IT THREE?! oh no it's just Boopkins and Tari
I WANTED A "YOU SAVED ME" MOMENT NOOOO
....blindfolded?!
FOUR DOESN'T WANT TO HURT HIS FRIENDS
So uh yeah definitely a grudge
Four, that's Gmod. THIS IS NOT THE SAME
Three's the one throwing the knives at Tari right? ...yep *sigh /aff*
Balloon Blast
*looks at Luigi's creations* ....say what now?
"Supper Mario Balloon" I... shouldn't be surprised
He kinda looks like Pedro ngl
Pie-a-Ton
HI KAREN
NOOOO MARIO'S FIRST LOVE *prowler music*
...wait, "Mario Die"? OH well, the universe is doomed lol
Touch Grass
alright then *goes outside and touches grass* we did guys!
Clowns Clowns Everywhere
Puzzles, Four has boots on and Bob has no shoes at all. Does it look like we have time to put running shoes on?
ACE ATTORNEY? IN MY SMG4 WOTFI? :D
"King of Clowns" PFFT That never gets old
What did you expect Four? You make memes for a living, become the clown
Bomb Ski Ball
What type of SAW trap is this?
OH RIGHT Karen is still a cat
Yeah Mario, you celebrated too early
Ducky Mania
poster reference(???)
Well, thanks Luigi, we're dead
BELLS (ok, it might not count cuz they used this before)
YAY FOUR GOT ONE
Free-Fall Frenzy
And of course, Three and Karen and Saiko are all using the things they are skilled at
OH SHOOT MELONY'S SWORD
GO ON MARIO DO YOUR THING! MEGGY'S BACK!! IT WORKED
NO PUZZLES WHYYYYY
Whack a Leggy
Oh I love that Mario screen reference
SWORD FIGHT SWORD FIGHT SWORD FIGHT
...goop!4..?
oh nvm, cameras. that should've been obvious *slaps face*
SMART THINKING FOUR
OH hi Puzzles
LET'S GOOOOOOOOO
DUDE I'M GONNA CRY STOPP THIS IS SO SWEET OMG
"YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING", welp Mario Ruins the Show confirmed, checking that off
I just love how this scene was animated (edit: it turns out that this is a scene Anaidon animated, no wonder this was so good!)
THE KEYBOARD MONSTER FROM IGBP!!! IT'S BACKKKKK
AND EYES IN GENERAL
Marker for the bingo :)
AND PARK (kinda) DESTROYED, another mark (yes it counts)
Superhero landing!
Wait... what is it, Four?
...oh I hate this *IGBP flashbacks*
AND PEACH nooooooooo
I get that it's supposed to be Didney stuff but like that's past trauma right there for Four , seeing the castle and Peach costume again *checks off the bingo*
and we're seeing it through Four's right eye *head in hands* eye of horus
It's Rap Time? IT'S RAP TIME
Carnival-themed too! Another one for bingo
"Pay for what you've done" KARMA "We'll make him pay" KARMA
(edit: it turns out Shadow animated this scene, it looks great dude great job :D)
[*points at background at 22:31*] BELL THERE IT FUCKIN IS
MORE BELLS AT 22:55
and also I realized that there was a lot of "death", huh
Doomed Yaoi(TM)
Yeah, we can count this as the Freak Show
"Puzzlevision+" ...puzzlevision 2...?
hold up, what the hell is that? NO NO WE CAN'T JUST PASS BY THAT
Huh, how interesting is that Mr Puzzles, being controlled by wires, looks like a puppet when he's the only usually puppeteering hmmm
MEGGY CONFRONTS also she tried to give Puzzles a chance when she couldn't do it for Wren
"That child is gone... Six feet under right where you and your stupid friends belong." Oh, shit. That got me somehow.
There is something in philosophy called "Ship of Theseus" that basically is: what if, gradually over time, we replace every part of a person and the question would be, are they the same person anymore. It could apply to Mr Puzzles here. Bring back to my corpse question, his child self and his current self are not the same. Not anymore. Metaphorically and perhaps literally, the real man before Mr Puzzles came to be is already dead.
Some people do say that they can be "reborn" so.... *shrugs*
SACRIFICE! No one dies but they're risking their lives here!
Meggy going into Puzzles' mind reminds me a lot of Melony getting into Zero's, except for the meeting younger self stuff
Interesting, why did Little Puzzles cower from the woman shadow figure? They could've just put Meggy there but they didn't until a few seconds later... hmmm......
Well Meggy confronts Little Puzzles but it's more like her demanding him to set her friends free, which is understandable
THE CLUB PENGUIN DANCE IS BACK!! :D
ONCE AGAIN Little Puzzles gets scared of someone coming towards him. jesus what happened for you to react like that, dude?
THIS IS ACTUALLY MAKING ME FEEL THINGS DUDE. IF MR PUZZLES DIES AND THIS IS THE LAST THING HE THINKS ABOUT.... *head in hands* THIS IS SO SAD
And more of the Engine Room gets broken down
silly little goobers :)
MR PUZZLES LIVES
and I oop [Mr Puzzles will remember that.]
....oh, this might be a fate worse than death. I don't blame the Crew for not trusting him and after what he did to Meggy but damn I don't think this is the right choice, gang
But it is probably the best ending the Team could've given him.
Yes, painting is nice. Oh, a puppy too!
"...OR we could assassinate our enemies and anyone who's ever double-crossed us!" OH NO IT'S MAKING HIM WORSE
To destroy Four and the others, yeah that makes sense. But he must've taken Meggy's confrontation as a double-cross. He's going for everyone!
Dynamic Change, everyone!
but also.... puzzlevision 2 maybe....
OH HEY CHRIS AND SWAG HI
well, the park isn't completely destroyed but some of it did so....
"Hopefully Mr Puzzles will change for the better." HMMMM I don't think so, Meggy. Actually, are they aware of where he is now?
Aw, Mario checking up on Meggy is very sweet, the M&M siblings
YOU ALL NEED THERAPY
"Turning into Leggy was really taxing on my body but...I think that version of me has escaped off to a better place." Meggy, you must've inherited Phoenix Wright's invincibility when you were a lawyer because you were literally SCREAMING IN PAIN when you were forced back into Leggy, and all you get is just a bit of a sore back?! Girl, you must've broken something. I do hope they bring this back so that she can't do sudden maneuvers or fancy tricks due to what happened to her. There has to be some consequences here.
And now, Leggy's not coming back (I'm sure that's great news for the people who find her annoying, not me tho)
and I oop 2: electric bagaloo
MORE RIDES FOR THE SHOWGROUNDS HELL YEAH
Happy ending and all but hold up... Why is this the last shot of WOTFI? They could've had the Ferris Wheel, the entrance, or any of the other rides. WHY?! *shakes the crew* ANSWER MEEEEE
Well we didn't get a challenge relating to Tender Tunnel but since it appeared in the final shot, I'll count it just for appearing (and also because it might be important later but we don't talk about that now)
Of course, MERCH
"And, who knows? Next year, there might be even more things to come..." WHEN I GET YOU
Hoodie, poster, keychain I CALLED IT
baby leggy :3
"You'll just have to wait and see." Oh I'll be waiting *wiggles fingers together like a cartoon villain*
the great milk heist of 1899 :)
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Here's my bingo card:
I think it's all of it, let me know if I miss or need to change anything. Can we count all the Four & Three soulmate parallels to the "You Save Me" box? Please? *sneaks a marker on there* To those who participated, I hope you guys had fun with my bingo card!
I'm still going to cherish that Ferris Wheel chase scene from the "Welcome to Puzzle Park" episode
Well, Ben, Shadow, you got anything to say?
Ben: Well that was fun We should really do this again sometime…
GOD DAMMIT BEN NOT AGAIN/affectionate
Shadow, in voice clip: "Hello once more, Twitter and SMG4 community! As always, I'm The Inverted Shadow and yeah, War of the Fat Italians 2024 has come and gone... and uh, as it is customary with a lot of these big events with SMG4, I have things to say but this time, I'm actually not going to make a big show out of it this time like what I did for Puzzlevision and..." *clear throat* "The things that came before because I'm going to be completely honest, guys, I was really fucking nervous for this one because, um, to be completely honest, this rap battle for this WOTFI is, I can safely say, one of the hardest things I had to do when animating for SMG4 thus far. And I was really really scared and nervous about (one) if it would actually come out good and (two) if people would actually like it. But just based on the reactions from the watch party with the SMG4 team and also just seeing everybody's reactions to WOTFI this year, um.... Yeah, you guys surely showed me I still must be doing something right." *laugh* "But, no no no. In all honesty, once more, thank you all genuinely. Genuinely, thank you all once again to the SMG4 community, to Luke, to Kevin, the SMG4 team. Everybody. Thank you all so much for showing me that I apparently still got it and I can still do the thing as it were." *chuckle* "Um, I do really hope you all enjoyed WOTFI this year. For now, I need to go get me that new Mr Puzzles plushie 'cause I need it. So, genuinely thank you all again and uh, peace!
Oh, we enjoyed this year's WOTFI, SMG4 Team! As Mario would say, that was-a loads of fun! The animation, the art, the music, everything was really really good. There are a few plot tweaks here and there that need a bit of work, but otherwise, it was great! Props to everyone on the Team! I can't wait to see what you guys do next.
"Silly little meme show" Right, and it's the same people who gave us horror, I'm on to you guys. please puzzlevision 2 please goop!4
Make sure you all support them bc they deserve it :) As for what will happen to the SMG4 crew, Mr Puzzles, and the Showgrounds, we will just have to wait and see.
;)
ink, it's not even a theory what are you talking about?
#smg4#smg4 wotfi#wotfi 2024#wotfi 2024 bingo#smg4 mr puzzles#smg4 mario#smg34#smg4 marware#smg4 leggy#smg4 meggy#ink reviews
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