#I'm fucking terrified
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Heyo just wanted to pop in and apologize for my absence if anyone even cares lol
All the stress etc from the past couple months really caught up to me. I feel burned out, am constantly getting overwhelmed by the smallest things, my depression end anxiety got worse... So rn I'm pretty much in survival mode.
And it doesn't help that I have to go to the dentist today and I'm fucking terrified of dentists. I've been having breakdowns over it since last night, soooo... Fun :D
#becky rambles#I absolutely despise crying in public but I know that I'll definitely have another breakdown as soon as I'm in that fucking chair#if not even as soon as I only walk into the building shzdhh#it's that bad#I'm fucking terrified#and that on top of being severely sleep deprived for weeks now? not a great combo
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hello criminal minds fans, I finished season 10 now moving towards season 11..... what should I be prepared for?
#I'm fucking terrified#s10 was hard to watch i hope s11 is better?#at least spencer's hair was hot!!#bring alex blake back#i need emily too#and DO NOT take hotch away from me#i will Cry™#criminal minds#keeping up with cm
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#also ngl this whole funeral wreath situation is really making me want to scream as an old shawol and f(x) fan#i'm fucking terrified
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am I really a bad trans person because my fear and innate procrastination will make me do the six hundred exams I have to do as slowly as possible because making one phone call takes all my energy for a whole fucking day when I should be going as fast as possible because apparently if I really wanted it I should be able to do everything all at once or not?
#we're talking about going to spain? for the come cazzo si chiama la conservazione degli ovuli o roba simile e io sono terrorizzato.#because 1) I want to get the t as soon as possible but#2) I have stuff to do! how the fuck am i supposed to find tome to go to spain if I have eight exams + master's thesis ?!#I'm fucking terrified#personal
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Did it take me about two weeks to blow through 160 episodes of Magnus Archives (first time listening)? Yes.
Did it take me another week to listen to the next 30? Also yes.
Was I trying to avoid spoilers while listening? Yes.
Did I still glimpse some post-200 comments that, while somewhat contradictory, seemed to avarage to 💥ANGUISHED SCREAMING💢? Also yes.
Am I now stalling because I dread what awaits me at the end of episode 200? VERY MUCH YES
Ceaseless Watcher, turn your gaze on this wretched thing and grant me safe passage or something, I'm scared 😭 👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️👁️
#the magnus archives#tma season 5#I'm fucking terrified#I know this is a horror story#I KNOW this#I know that happy ending is not something that happens in this world#EVER#but at the same time I still cling to that most insidious of emotions: hope#and I swear if My Boys don't get to save the wolrd and retire together to a nice little cottage with Good Cows living one field over#I'm going to be so ANGRY#I'll be SO ANGRY you guys#I'll go completely berserk and eat my computer and send a vidoe of it to Jonathan Sims and it'll haunt him forever and ever#and ever#[end statement]
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This new Rainbow high slime era BETTER NOT BE POOP CENTERED
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I WAS GOING TO GO TO BED SOON AND THEN I SAW A HUGE BUG CRAWLING ACROSS MY FLOOR AND I'LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN
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God just fuck off you don't fucking understand
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I'm gonna start my job tomorrow, someone please save me
#I'm fucking terrified#I REALLY don't want to start working#and I've to figure out my post grad applications soon as well
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if Taylor sings Nothing New with Phoebe while I'm not there I might actually commit self-murder just so you know
#/hj#i'm fucking terrified#no mi canción más personal por favor#taylor swift#phoebe bridgers#nothing new#the eras tour#swifties#c speaks into the void
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i have a job starting in january🧍♀️
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Y'all I am on day 2 of being sick, which means I fully expect tomorrow to be worse because never have I ever in my life been on the upswing of a cold by day 3. AND tomorrow I was already planning on taking off work for TMS which is SUPER helpful for my depression but is also a long boring thing to be doing that also involves being in some minor pain/discomfort in my brain region for ten minutes every hour. Which normally is not enough pain for me to mind at all, really, I'm quite used to it, but if I'm sick and am at all achey or headachy it's gonna be a real bitch.
AND OH YEAH tomorrow is the FUCKING ELECTION.
Basically I am NOT expecting to have a good time tomorrow. In fact I am expecting to be feeling physically and emotionally terrible literally all day due to things I have no real ability to fix other than by just waiting them out. I mean I can take some medicine to feel marginally less crap and I think I ought to. But the point remains, tomorrow isn't shaping up to be a good one.
#In the last couple hours I have been just....... starting to teeter over into the inevitable anxiety spiral#thinking “well in the next couple days either we will have our first female president or it will be fucking Trump and I will want to die”#and then “wait.... I've thought this before.... and last time I was so damn confident......”#I'm fucking terrified#election 2024#election angst
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fucking WHAT
absolutely not. this is such an invasion. my work is on ao3 to be shared with you lovely people. to share to a community. to leave my personal mark on this fandom. i look forward to posting because i hope the silly little ideas in my brain will made somebody else happy. it's an exchange. it's there to be enjoyed and interacted with as a gift for myself and you all. NOT to be stolen by AI to create inferior works with no true meaning.
fanfiction written by a robot doesn't mean anything. i know i, and all you other brilliant writers in this fandom, pour our hearts and souls into our writing. what makes it so good for me is when i can see the emotion and the love the author has for what they're writing in the words.
our writing and our work is not a product. and it is not for use of artificial intelligence. it's in the name. artificial. our work is something real. i will not have the integrity of that taken away.
AI threat to Ao3 and Fanworks
Betsy Rosenblatt, the legal chair for Ao3′s umbrella Organization for Transformative Works, is advocating for allowing AI developers to use fanfic. :
This is a betrayal of Ao3′s mission, a betrayal of the worldwide community of fanfic-writers/readers, and a betrayal of Betsy Rosenblatt’s job to legally protect fanfiction. Please keep an eye on this situation and speak up where you are able to- there is at least one petition out already.
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I have resorted to checking his snap score bc jesus christ i don't care if he's ignoring me and never wants to talk to me again I just wanna know if he's alive.
#it has not moved in a week#i'm fucking terrified#despite the fact that I have dug though obituaries for a week and can't find him
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tomorrow is my last day of freedom before school starts. my dad just got the keys to his new taproom, and i'll be working there while i'm in school. polar opposite of what was going on last year. hopefully new medication and better motivation will be enough to get me through the year
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Okay no this is the final thought on this
Every single person you here who was flirting with not voting bc you hate Biden:
You got what you wanted. You WILL vote. If I see a single motherfucker repeating nihilistic talking points about not showing up, how both sides are the same, or whatever other uninformed bullshit you've got
Then I am going to assume you are an actual Russian psyop and I'm reporting your ass.
You will vote, and you will talk to the people in your life and remind them to vote. You will shut down all anti-voting rhetoric you see. We are up against a senile cult leader who wants to pack the court with people who have literally threatened to dismantle more of our rights.
Rights that people protested for and fought for and fucking died for are back on a negotiating table, and you know what? We now have to defend what we've won when we should be pushing for more. We are on the defensive.
We have three and a half fucking months to do this.
#us politics#I'm fucking terrified but also I am done politely scrolling past doomer rhetoric#we're done with that
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