#I'm fine with main characters dying if it's done well

[eldritch-ambrosia]

Let me hit you with my Shade!Lancelot idea, keeping in mind I haven't seen that episode of Merlin yet. (This works for both established Arwen/established Merthur and Gwencelot/Mercelot in my mind so think of it whichever way you'd like but it does focus on Lancelot, Merlin, and Arthur.)

So! Morgana creates Shade!Lancelot using Lancelot's body and sends him back to Camelot to stir up trouble. Instead of trying to just break up Arthur and Gwen, he's meant to isolate Arthur and make him believe that he can't trust anyone except for Aggravaine.

So he flirts with Gwen, takes the knights out to have fun when they should be training/distracts them, and takes Merlin's attention away from Arthur as well, frustrating Arthur.

S!Lancelot and Aggravaine both place doubts in Arthur's mind directly as well and S!Lancelot realizes that Merlin betraying Arthur would be far worse than anyone else and sets his sights on Merlin instead.

So he keeps stealing Merlin away when Arthur needs him, makes comments about how he knows Merlin better than Arthur ever could and about how he knows Merlin sneaks away but he's loyal to Merlin over Camelot (which also upsets Arthur because that's one of his knights for god's sake!) and won't tell him where Merlin is going.

Arthur confronts Merlin about his sneaking away (magic things) and, when he refuses to tell the truth, Arthur thinks he can't trust him after all.

Merlin talks about having magic in front of S!Lancelot and, when he doesn't know what Merlin's talking about, Merlin becomes suspicious. He references something that didn't happen and S!Lancelot acts like he remembers that which confirms his suspicions but when he tries to sidle away out of the room to tell someone, S!Lancelot attacks him, attempting to choke him out.

Arthur finds them like this and S!Lancelot says that Merlin was sending information to Morgana so he had to subdue him which Arthur doesn't believe for ONE SINGLE MINUTE. Thus, they begin to duel as Merlin tries to recover his breathing and stop from passing out in the corner.

S!Lancelot attempts to kill Arthur and knocks him out, Arthur fading out with the last thing he sees being Merlin trying to push S!Lancelot's killing blow away as his servant stands.

Somehow (I'm thinking earlier in the ep Merlin finds a magical crystal that can hold souls released from the afterlife that Gaius is researching and Lancelot's real soul gets released during the ep and the crystal glows and maybe gets broken in the scuffle) Merlin pushes the Shade from Lancelot's body and his real soul is able to return to his body.

The Shade's form changes into a kind of Shadow Monster Lancelot and duels the real Lancelot now (who is very shaken and weak because he was just revived!) and, when he stabs the Shade, it does no damage. The Shade laughs and says that he can't be killed without magic and Lancelot says that then he'll just have to kill it like he killed the Griffin.

"You're a knight of Camelot and you're saying that you used magic to kill a Griffin?"

"No. I did." Merlin says, casting the same spell he did all those years ago on Lancelot's blade as he stabs through the Shade, killing it.

There's a beat where Merlin still isn't sure if it's the real Lancelot and asks him something only the real Lancelot would know, which he answers and they have a tearful/huggy reunion.

Arthur wakes up and they explain that it was a creature sent by Morgana and Lancelot is actually back with them now.

Later, when Merlin is getting Arthur ready for bed, Arthur tells him that he doesn't need to know where he goes off to because he trusts him. Merlin goes to tell him the truth but stops and thanks him instead, snuffing out the candles and shutting the door as he leaves.

(I want to hopefully write this one day but I will need to actually catch up and watch the episode first to get the vibes. Everything I know about it rn is from clips and gifs and such)

[66sharkteeth]

Weekly thoughts!

Hooboy, the big episode! First off, I think everyone knows by now that you probably shouldn't read these if you haven't read the latest episode, but I ESPECIALLY mean that this week! Talking about some way bigger than usual spoilers.

Phew, this was a big one, both from a writing and drawing perspective. I actually spent a full day on that last panel alone, but writing it took way longer than usual too. Going back and forth between Bell's speech and Jericho's backstory played perfectly like a movie in my head, but it was really hard to portray it as a comic and it was one of the few times I was struggling with the limitations of the format. I think I pulled it off though, since everyone seemed to follow along fine! So while it was probably just a neat scene to everyone else, I'm rather proud of that haha.

As for the actual contents of the episode, I'm also glad everything hit w/ the majority of the audience for the most part. I know a handful were confused about if that was Bell or Jericho who did that, but to those people, I remind you it's been loooong established Jericho can control his extensions (Bell, Charlie, and Claude. Remember, they all took injections of Jericho's blank space?). Also on that note, Bell does not have her own scion... Only Rex and Jericho do. Bell, Charlie and Claude all took injections of Jericho's blank space, thus get to borrow some of his power. I recommend re-reading ep 80 if you need a refresher.

I do consider this ep kind of a big reveal of Jericho's true colors. I mean, you guys have known he's the main villain for ages now, but this is the ep that reveals his "better world for blanks" act is kind of a façade and what he's really seeking is a worse world for humans. The fall of humans benefitting blanks is just kind of a bonus. I'm glad a few people caught onto this with the fact that one of the worst horrors he experienced was having his autonomy taken away from him, then he proceeds to do just that to Bell.

And speaking of Jericho's horrors- Before this season launched, I dropped a bunch of hints about upcoming things. One of them was that the most disturbing scene (in my opinion) was coming up. I was actually referring to what happened to Kallie. I'm not sure if it was as disturbing to everyone else (I totally get like if Claude's leg thing fucked people up more), but being evaporated into nothingness but not dying was an existential dread that really fucks me up haha. If it fucked even a couple of other people up, then I did my job.

I don't have too much else to say about the contents of the episode. It was so hard to bite my tongue for weeks as everyone predicted pretty much every character but Desmond was gonna get it. I'm sorry I don't have too much else to say about him right now given what happened, but I definitely will in the upcoming weeks.

I guess the only other note I have is I might as well address something that bugs me slightly- It's definitely a minority but there's a handful of people who seem done with the series because "too many things go wrong." To which... I'm not sure what to tell ya. I'm fine with critique and criticism to be clear, but honestly, this is one thing I'm actually really confident I'm good at balancing. I'm not sure where people are coming from with "nothing good ever happens in this series" when this season alone has had probably the cutest and fluffiest scenes. Rex has a canon girlfriend, he had his first kiss with her, Desmond was reunited with his sister and learned to accept himself, Lyss learned to move past her trauma and accept blanks, Rex was reunited with Shnee, Rex's scion turns out to be a puppy dog w/ a crush. I'm aware a lot of these got kind of crushed with this latest ep...but that's.. kind of. the. point??? That's how you write tragedy and impactful scenes??

I dunno, maybe this is personal to me because it's ALWAYS bugged me when someone tells me they think a show is bad because it's "too dark." Like no... It's not *bad* because it's too dark, you just don't like dark themes, and that's okay. I TOTALLY get if CoB has gotten too dark for some people- it's definitely hit some hard themes and subjects, but I don't like to accept that as a critique. It just means it's not for you and that's okay. There's a ton of other great comics that are more light-hearted! I think the TLDR of this is it will always annoy me when people say something is bad just because it's not their taste.

Now. That said... everyone is completely valid in their hate of Jericho. I, however, still love him.

[emiplayzmc]

Alright, fellas, what should we call this? Addison Crossing? Cyber Crossing?

Either way, my Deltarune Addisons as Animal Crossing villagers!! Also special announcement at the end of the images :DD

(We're gonna ignore that personality types are gendered in proper AC alright guys shh it's fine)

Bailey & Tourmaline. A peppy squirrel and a smug ostrich, both with the fashion hobby!

AKA, Banner and Target!

Cassidy & Samuel. A jock and a sisterly - or a brotherly, in this case! - both deer! Cassidy has either the music or fitness hobby, and Samuel has the education hobby.

AKA, Broadcast and Sample!

And now... the one you've all been dying to see...

Sawyer G. Sawyer!! A smug / jock (can't decide which) rabbit villager! Probably either education or play as hobbies!

Also known as... Spamton G. Spamton!

RAHHHH I had so much fun making these!! Addispam and Big Shot Spamton came out a little janky but it's FINEEE... Kinda like to think that maybe Addispam / Addi-Sawyer was an apprentice to Pete in the AC universe!

And now that that's done...

✨️✨️ I'm opening requests to draw people's Addisons as Animal Crossing villagers!! ✨️✨️

You can send in OC's, you can send in your own versions of the main Addis that we see in game, Addisonas, the sky's the limit! I had a lot of fun drawing AC villagers!

My only requests / rules are:

A) that I'm able to get a description / image of your Addison and their personality, clothing they'd wear, profession, music taste, etc. If you want to, send in a request for what animal you'd want me to draw them as, as well! (For now I'm only doing animals that can be easily put onto an existing character model in AC, like a fox on a Wolf model or a buffalo on a Bull model)

B) That you only send in one or two characters at a time, please! Still new to doing requests, lol

C) Send in requests via the askbox! ^-^

That's all! Anyways, hope y'all enjoy the Addison Crossing characters!!

[doodlingaway]

Bridgerton S3 Thoughts So Far

I have approximately a million thoughts. They are not terribly well organized, but here we go.

(Spoilers ahead, obv)

I am obsessed with the Kanthony snippets. They have ruined me. Words cannot describe my joy and just the amount of flailing that I have done. THESE TWOOOOO I LOVE THEMMMM 🥰🫠

Specifically obsessed with the idea that they are just too horny to function and that's why they're not in most of the episodes. Go off, you sluts. ❤️‍🔥

THEIR HAND OBSESSION I CANNOT. Toying with a fic idea about this, I love it so much.

We knew this about Anthony, but love that they've solidified him as a man obsessed with eating out his wife, thank youuuuuu

Colin and Pen are so cute! I love them and am really digging how they adapted RMB so far. And THE CARRIAGE SCENE HOLY HELL 🥵

(But also RIP my dreams of virgin!Colin, what a hoe)

I low key love Lord Debling, he's so sweet. Not for Penelope at the expense of Colin, but like, I love him and kinda want him as a practical match for Cressida so she can escape her dumb family.

Speaking of Cressida, who else got queer vibes off the Eloise/Cressida friendship??? Granted I am not an objective observer, I have been stanning for a queer Eloise story since like day fucking one of this series, but like, come on. I don't love her and Eloise as a long-term match, but if this is how I can get my bb Eloise out of the closet, I am fully on board.

Penelope and Eloise!! 🥺 It hurts so much I just want them to be friends again! Tbh, this friendship rift feels like as much of a beating emotional heart of this season as the main Polin story, and I am HERE FOR IT. All for anything that shows that platonic love between friends can be equally important/impactful/heartbreaking/fulfilling as romantic love!

JOHN AND FRANCESCA!!! 🥰🥹🥺😭 Honestly, how dare they make me love them as a pair so much when we know what happens to him?? But I love what Hannah Dodd is doing with Fran and this makes me SO EXCITED (but scared) for her eventual season.

These storylines that I loved aside, there are TOO MANY UNNECESSARY STORYLINES. I like Will and Alice as characters, but I didn't need their storyline. The whole "Featherington sisters don't know how to fuck" was funny once or twice for comic relief, but I do not need a whole thing of it. I ADORE Ben, but like, what are we doing here with Lady Arnold? I fully support Violet getting some action and am intrigued by whatever the deal is with Lady D and her brother, but I could take or leave most of the Marcus Anderson stuff at this point. I just wish that they had cut a few of these and spent more time with Colin and Pen and/or Pen and Eloise (or I would never complain about more Kanthony, but I can acknowledge that they're not the focus of the season, so fine).

I'm super glad they took the note on season 2 not being horny enough and were like WE'RE DIALING IT UP TO 10 🔥 Everybody get you some action this season, we love to see it.

All of this said, I'm super enjoying it so far and DYING THAT WE HAVE TO WAIT A WHOLE MONTH FOR THE SECOND HALF! 🫠 Excited/terrified to see how they handle the Whistledown (wo)manhunt, and forever grateful for the romance genre where you know it ends in an HEA.

I'm off to write some fic to cope (and I hope you all do the same so I can enjoy yours!). And I would love to know others' thoughts - I've been loving to see everyone's reactions, even where they're different from mine!

[onyichii]

Dofus: Book 1 Julith a beautifully animated film that failed.

I haven't watched this movie in a long time but I think this movie COULD have done well. HOWEVER, TWO things fell short (for me).

1️⃣- Title. It has a BAD title. Terrible title. It should have been called something else. Something more appealing. More attention grabbing. I'm not good with titles myself but let's just say Dofus: The Guardian of the Ebony Dragon. That took me TOO LONG (40+ mins) to come up with. Titles are not easy but the current title doesn't stand out.

2️⃣- Rushed exposition. I didn't feel properly introduced to the world. If you're gonna sell a movie series you have to introduce the audience to your world properly, especially if it's fantasy AND if you want to make more of it. Think Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter, we got to understand the world within the first movie.

I feel like this Dofus series should have been planned as a trilogy but starting with the stories of Julith and Jahash. Here is how I would have planned...

Part 1: Introduces the audience to the world of twelve, main 12 classes, and the lives of rivals Julith of Brakmar and Jahash of Bonta. It would be an enemies to lovers story (an action romance) on how they become guardians of their cities dofus (the ebony and ivory ones). It ends with Jahash and Julith falling in love, having a child (Joris), and dying. Whilst also giving a hint of evidence that Julith might be alive. Showing they had people against the unification of their rival cities. BONUS: Introducing the classes would get people (artists mostly) interested in making their own Dofus character and posting the art online further marketing it. And you could use it to introduce people to the game thus making more sales. 🧠 business brain. Part 2: Would be this movie (Dofus: Julith Book 1), focusing on their son, Joris, and how he finds out that his mother Julith is alive and out for revenge. And how he is connected to the ebony dragon/dofus somehow (or how he becomes it's new guardian like his mother). And blah blah blah Part 3: Would unveil the culprits behind the deaths of Jahash and Julith. and blah blah blah. And how Joris officially loses his adolescence in this discovery and grows up to be who we know him to be in Wakfu. Kind of a dark coming of age story.

That's how I would have structured it. If it was structured like this I would have been invested in this trilogy. It has romance, mystery, drama, action, and angst.

Was the movie good? It had GREAT animation, good action scenes, fun characters, but it needed more story, more exposition. More world building—To at least attract an audience who has NEVER heard of Dofus before. I would 100% watch this movie again!

To me, it feels like Tot wants to build something like Star Wars, One Piece, MCU, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones—A HUGE WORLD that people all over the globe will know and love.

However, the company lacks consistency. Ankama started off as a game company. Then they branched into animation and comics. Now they're using all forms of media to tell their story.

Having to play the game AND read the book AND watch the show/movie, is too much for the average consumer. I don't play games anymore. So now, I will miss something because I don't play the game?

Personally, I feel like there should be ONE form of media to keep track of the WHOLE story (while still making the shows/films/games). That format is BOOKS.

Books are a GREAT way to keep things linear and on track. At least with a book, even if you branch out to animation and get cancelled you can continue the book with the story as planned. And after you have finished the book, maybe someone likes your story and will want to pick back up the animation.

You should watch Dofus: Book 1 Julith for the animation and action scenes. The story is fine but needs more.

Upon little research i found out they did make books for Dofus: Book 1 Julith. IDK if it's good or what it's about but it does exist.

[archivalofsins]

“UNDER”

Which way will you throw down your weight? To be the deceived, or the deceiver.

Let's have an objective conversation about the deceiver, the snake, the ever-self-absorbed masquerading as the selfless.

Shidou Kirisaki

I was discussing Shidou in private with @tsuwmya and the response I received encouraged me to post my objective thoughts on his character and actions.

First let's talk about Shidou when it comes to his relationship with children. Shidou is bad with children and Milgram has done everything in its power to display this fact.

In Throw Down Shidou's main and only focus is on saving one individual. Someone who is very clearly shown to be a fully grown adult or adult sized.

Outside of this portrayal of the individual in Throw Down looking adult sized which could be considered abstract in these instances. The bed we're shown in Triage is literally just a different bed entirely from this one-

And Milgram does nothing to hide this information.

This is the sight we're shown when the death of a child is heavily alluded to. Clearly making these two separate instances and possibly two different family members.

This displays that the person in the first bed- The one he is trying to save throughout Throw Down is more than likely his wife and not either of the children. To take it even further the flowers meant to represent his victims throughout Throw Down are in full bloom and the food that represents them in Triage is ripe as well.

Further implying that most of his victims were adults or at the peak of their lives.

This imagery can allude to his victims being perfectly healthy as well as these things only wilt or rot after Shidou interacts with them. Because a plucked/cut flower can only live so long even if you put it in new soil.

And no one can still have their cake and eat it too. Once it's eaten, it's gone. Once it's been cut into, it begins to spoil and lose its flavor.

"It becomes more and more diluted, it doesn’t have any flavor even if it’s chewed. If it’s not needed, I’m not interested."

Before we see his wife, before we see his kids, before any moments with family we see Shidou getting the necessities in Triage. We see him getting food. The food is highlighted before we even see his loved ones.

After it's alluded to that he lost his family in Triage something that should be a tragic scene where his kids or his wife should be the focus. The bed is empty, there's no one to be seen outside of himself/someone who may just look like him from behind. Either way we're just seeing him.

No wife, no kids, or kid.

Then immediately after this image of loss what do we see-

The food going rotten. It's spoiled now. Everything is ruined. It's gone to shit definitely but even when it has, his family is still an afterthought to him. They come after the food, after the dead flowers.

They always came after the necessities. They always came after his work. They were always a convenient excuse for his actions-

"Now slowly close your eye, put your regret on display wish for being there for someone."

Just like the feelings of Shidou's victim's families came as an afterthought to tack on when he saw Es had reservations about just finding him guilty immediately and killing him like he wanted.

"The death penalty is what I'm hoping for. Thank you in advance."-3:31 "If you want to hand down the correct punishment for me, then all you have to do is put an end to my life. It'll be over in the blink of an eye." You're being annoyingly persisten, Shidou- Know your place here! "Please listen to me, Es. I've killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too. I'm a fine specimen of what a murderer ought to be." I really don't... get you. "If you don't put me to death then neither the people I've killed nor their families will be at peace. Don't you think so too?" 4:39-5:10

From the beginning Shidou displays that dying is something that he wants. Something that he's seeking. Because he wants to be at peace he wants to be reunited with his loved ones. It's not because he genuinely feels remorseful about what he did, cares about the fact what he did was wrong, selfish, and hurt many people. No, it's still about him and everything he tacks on after is just there to justify him getting what he wants.

Milgram displayed from the beginning that Shidou wants to die but he doesn't want to take his own life. If his end goal is being able to reunite with the people, he cares about in the afterlife.

To be reincarnated and see them again-

Q.19 What do you think happens to people after they die? Shidou: I like the idea of reincarnation. I hope that’s what happens.

Then he cannot religiously commit suicide. The implication through the mention of reincarnation is that Shidou is either a Buddhist or Hinduist both religious beliefs do not condone suicide. Except for Hinduism which condones it only on the grounds of religious reasons which Shidou does not have. Both state that taking one's own life can impact reincarnation.

It's really funny to consider that Shidou is trying to get Es to kill him based on religious grounds that he's been fully open about yet for some odd reason the only person being persecuted for their religious beliefs and how they adhere to them is the child.

Shidou has also shown his desire to circumvent or skirt passed this rule- Very openly in the portal timeline.

20/05/26 Kazui: Ahh, this old man’s gonna go and smoke in the corner a bit. I checked with the guard, and apparently we can use our free time however we want. Man, I’m glad this place is so relaxed. Shidou: ……! Are…… we allowed to smoke……? Kazui: Huh…… Shidou-kun, was it? You smoke too? That’s kinda unexpected. Shidou: Ah, yes. ……I only started fairly recently though. I’ll go with you…… to smoke. Futa: Ahh, those old men really stink of tobacco. Are they idiots or something? They should know better at that age…… If they really can’t cope without relying on something like that then I worry about their sanity. Yuno: ……it doesn’t really matter does it? They’re making sure they’re staying far away from the people who don’t smoke. Personally I quite like the smell anyway. Futa: Huh!? What are you talking about? It means you’re more likely to get sick, it costs money, it’s a nuisance for everyone around you, what’s even the point. Our tax money is being wasted going towards paying for that, you know? If you were really smart, you’d know not to smoke at all! 20/06/20 Mikoto: ……oh, so you are here after all. Shidou-san, are you free? Let’s chat~ Shidou: ! Ah, just give me a moment…… Um…… I don’t mind talking, but you didn’t need to come over while I was smoking. Are you sure it isn’t too smoky for you? You’re not a smoker, right, Kayano-kun? Mikoto: Ah, you don’t need to put it out! That’d be such a waste!I smoke too occasionally. Though just vape. Like, the smoking room is a really good spot for communication, right? So I thought now might be a good opportunity to talk with you. Not like I have anything else to do. By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves? Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels. 20/08/04 Mikoto: By the way, why did you two start smoking? For me it was just a means for communication with people at work. Kazui: Hm? I don’t really remember…… It’s maybe changed nowadays, but in the past it was just natural for everyone to smoke. What about you, Shidou-kun? Do you remember? Shidou: ……I wonder. I suppose…… I just wanted to do something that was bad for me. Mikoto: Ahh, I kinda get that. It’s like eating instant ramen in the middle of the night. Q.20 What do you think about smoking? Shidou: I often get stopped and told it’s bad for my health. I smoke because I want to be unhealthy, though.

Shidou admits to only beginning to smoke recently and that he's only doing it to be unhealthy. He recognizes that smoking is dangerous and unhealthy not just for himself but those around him. Just as Futa points out.

This is indicated by how quickly he goes to put his cigarette when Mikoto comes over to the smoking area. The area literally designated for smoking which would mean anyone going to it would rightfully expect those to be ya know smoking. Even still he quickly attempts to put it out.

Showcasing just how new of a smoker he is along with the fact that he doesn't want to ruin anyone else's health but his. Then he just bluntly states when asked why he started smoking that he just wanted to do something unhealthy.

Because he is purposely trying to make himself sick and die. Because he believes that would be an indirect enough method for him to die by despite it being his choice to do this that it wouldn't technically count as suicide-

This guy is trying to pull a technicality on the fucking gods. He's basically going if the rube goldberg machine I built kills me because I purposely trigger it I'm still not technically killing myself. However, he doesn't just want to die. He wants to die with-

"Emotions with no color I wonder if I can die with it still left."

He wants to die indifferent to his behavior. He wants to die feeling nothing about what he's done and for that purpose he used Mahiru as an excuse for why he needed to be innocent.

"That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding. So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

Because he's seen what a guilty verdict does. He's seen first-hand the mental stress it causes to people. The regret it drags out. He doesn't want to feel that. he wants to die not feeling that and from the beginning he's known-

"Hm... But this place does smell of the dead though. I'm sure that some sort of death will lie at the end of Milgram."

He's willing to wait for it and receive the regretless death he wants. In order to get that, he's more than willing to do the same thing he did to people before to someone Es cares about to change their mind.

"If you don't put me to death then neither the people I've killed nor their families will be at peace. Don't you think so too?"

X

Well, moving on from that to the topic of him with children overall due to all that he's been through.

Shidou is bad with children that much is clear from how he interacts with Amane in the Portal Timeline. However, Triage just makes this more apparent with his interactions with his own children.

By that I mean the lack of them. Instead of seeing him spend time with his kids we mostly see him spending time with his wife. We see him cooking with her, going on walks with her, and outside of when he hugs his children upon getting home the only time, we ever see him with the kids after that is when they are all together.

It's after Shidou is shown thinking about the kids playing by themselves that he sings,

"I yearn to be found “GUILTY”."

However, when he thinks back to the time, he spent with his wife walking with her alone it turns into-

Showcasing what Throw Down put on full display that Shidou threw down his duties as a father in favor of trying to do everything within his power to save his wife. He neglected to watch his children properly in favor of working towards saving the love of his life and his kids ended up paying for it. He says so plainly in Triage-

"Those cards of promise I discarded were they retribution for my incessant taking."

And Throw Down goes even further to allude on this.

"“Throw down” connecting you with me. To keep you alive, you are still living. “Throw down” the invitation that I can’t take back. Lying, replacing with hope." "“Throw down”, someone’s value cannot be the same as another “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority. Has come true, stabbing the despair to death."

Even his very first glitched character voice line-

"Ah, ha, ha, ha- Not dead... Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people off."

Hell, here's all his voicelines in a resonable order from the first character voiceline trailer, second, and the second trial teaser trailer.

"Have you ever taken out a person’s insides? The weight of a human life, there’s no difference between people. And therefore…… I will save the lives I want to save. You're in my way...hurry up and die. Ah, ha, ha, ha- Not dead... Yeah, she's definitely not dead... I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people off."

Shidou fuck them kids Kirisaki everyone. Both of his kids are male presenting the only she we see in his videos is his wife. His only focus was on saving his wife. This is why he says this from the beginning-

"I've killed people. Lots of them as well. It was for such a selfish reason too."

Shidou has perfectly illustrated that his understanding of children is that they should be seen not heard. Stay in line of sight, don't cause trouble, help out if you can, and be quiet. When he came into Milgram he was remorseful due to how his neglect led to the death of his children. How throwing himself into his work and trying to save his wife led to him losing not only her but both of their kids.

His family is important to him now-

Q.04 What is important to you? Shidou: Family.

Because he didn't appreciate them enough when they were around. He took it for granted thinking they'll always be there later. I just have to do this first it's important. I'll make time after this is done.

Q.07  Is there anyone you’d leave behind if you died? Shidou: Not any more. Q.08 Is there anything more painful than death? Shidou: The death of someone you love. Q.09 What do you want from a lover? Shidou: I want them to stay healthy. Q.14 If there was one person you could bring back from the dead, who would you choose? Shidou: I can’t choose.

Only no longer able to choose between superiority and inferiority in the case of choosing between people he loves. Because he now knows the pain of losing them. I guess doing things like that is harder when he actually humanizes the people he's doing it to, huh? Convenient.

This warped relationship with his own children is why his interactions with Amane are so stunted. Mainly focused on what children should like and how they should act instead of accepting that Amane is her own person. Because he was not responsible for taking care of his children's emotional needs. He was not the one consistently present for that his wife was.

Q.19 What was your partner like? Shidou: A strong person. I tend to be a bit careless in my personal life, so I was always relying on her.

This is also why Shidou's behavior does get to Amane in a way and we see him being given a seat in the counsel even if he does sort of just pop up uninvited. Because Shidou is like Amane's dad and she recognizes this.

Amane's father is out for work frequently trying to do something that he believes will make the world a better place. Doing difficult and demanding mostly underappreciated work and when he does come home he more than likely acts like Shidou.

Q.01  Why did you choose your current job? Shidou: I wanted to do something that would be of use to society. Q.15 Do you think you’ve made a contribution to society? Shidou: I used to think my work was a contribution to society. Q.02  Who do you look up to? Amane: My father. He’s been away on a trip for a while, but I think that’s very honourable of him. Q.13 Who do you want to see right now? Amane: My father. I want him to praise me for all my hard work. Q.10 What was your father’s job? Amane: After a lot of hard work, he became a lecturer I think it’s something to be proud of.

Dotting on Amane for the limited time he has with her when he is home from working. Because Shidou was like this before and it didn't turn out well he was trying to rectify his past mistakes by being their for Amane at the start of Milgram. Yet feel into the same old habits as soon as there were more important things to take care.

He's similar to Futa in that regard. Since he tries to be there for children more from the start of Milgram as well and has gone more into that it seems as a result of his verdict. While Shidou has fallen back into his own self-centered nature. Only using the safety of others to excuse moving towards his own goals.

With no real guarantee that he'll actually help them or not outside of trust me I'm a doctor. This isn't even touching on the fact that Shidou is not medically permitted to diagnose brain death and states as much in his second voice drama-

"This may be out of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well."

He is literally not allowed to diagnose this on his own and neurologists are meant to be involved in some capacity when diagnosing this. Something that he is not.

"“Throw down” ethics is a delusion."

So, he would not know if they were actually brain dead or be allowed to pass down that diagnosis to family members at all. Because, again, he is not qualified to diagnose that on his own. However, pushing that to the side.

Shidou is not treating Amane differently because she is misbehaving right now, or because she's not the child he'd expected her to be, or even because he doesn't like kids. A person can like children and still be bad with kids. Shidou Kirisaki is just bad with children. He was bad with his own children and he's still bad when it comes to the children within Milgram. His behavior comes off as condescending and he stereotypes kids. Believing that if one kid likes something all kids will.

A very hit and miss way of dealing with children or anyone for that matter. Because one would not be treating the child as an individual with their own feelings and interests and due to that overlook or miss that child's individual needs entirely. He's inattentive in his personal relationships.

He takes them for granted, frequently tending to hyper-fixate on higher priority things just to end up straining or neglecting his personal relationships entirely. On top of that he's just objectively fucking evil and selfish. Never really understanding the value of what he was taking from others until it was ripped away from him. Then upon feeling that pain making it everyone else's responsibility to give him the ending he feels he deserves including another child like Es.

Because he can't handle living through what he made multiple other people go through and again he wants to meet them again in the next life so he can't really take himself out in this situation. I didn't vote Shidou Kirisaki Innocent this trial because I thought he would change. Because I trusted him to keep his word. I voted him Innocent beccause I wanted him to live with what he put other people through. I refuse to help him alleviate his pain and get out of the consequences of his actions.

If he wants to go so badly, he's going to have to do it himself instead of once again leaving the tab to other people. When I heard him sing this-

"So, this is unpleasant. So, this makes me sick. What do you mean INNOCENT? If this is my punishment- Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless."

I thought yeah you fucking live with that dick. You think you can just get a convenient out as the people whose family you admit to killing multiple times- have to live in a world without their loved ones. No, fuck you. Have a nice life with reaping what you fucking sowed.

[strqyr]

Thanks for finally convincing me to block you.

Anyone who has that much sympathy for a dumpster fire like Adam Taurus is someone I need to see less often.

Any other abusers you want to defend?

you know it kinda defeats the purpose of anon when i know who you are, right? might as well put your name on it lol. but since you're here brightening my day, lemme talk more about adam, sienna, and the white fang in general:

(fair warning: this will get critical.)

did you know that sienna never admonishes adam for killing few humans—they had a whole short made for him, if she did it would have come up, but all she does is praise him as an "extraordinary resource for this organization"—and that the white fang was executing sdc board members under her leadership? that she wanted humanity to fear the faunus, to know they demanded respect, which not only shows that blake fundamentally disagreed with her methods—"and the worst part was, it (sienna's methods of "violence where violence is necessary") was working. we were being treated like equals. but not out of respect... out of fear."—but is the dumbest, most macho way to go about things?

(trust me, i would know, i live next to russia.)

where sienna considered the line crossed was attacking the academies, because she believed it would start a war with humans that the white fang / the faunus couldn't win, which adam disagreed with, believing they could. that's their main difference, and there's nothing saying sienna wouldn't be fine with the attacks if she knew it wouldn't start a war or if she believed it was a war they could win.

"violence where violence is necessary" becomes incredibly flaky stance when your goal is to cause fear, ya know. i think there's a word for that, actually, especially when it's done for political cause. something about... causing terror? terrorist, maybe?

but sure. sienna "bringing a human to this location is grounds for execution" khan would definitely have problems with few humans dying during the targeted attacks she's all for. adam's definitely the only problem here, going off the path sienna set him for by... following in her footsteps. uh-huh.

one other thing about the adam short: there's a scene of sienna, adam, and ilia fighting against androids in some sdc place with blue lights and all despite the very obvious security breach happening in front of our eyes. but the moment the human security forces show up with their guns raised high and shooting at them right out the door, sienna and adam continuing the fight while ilia—the one who was redeemed—takes off her grimm (read: monster) mask, the lights turn red.

they're not being very subtle there. almost like the stance the show is taking isn't just against killing humans unnecessarily, but straight up the issue is the faunus fighting against their oppressors at all, and both sienna and adam crossed that line.

or, that's how it comes across, at least; this is a show that's partially build around colors, made by a company that also played lots of video games. they know what blue and red imply.

sorry you apparently can't feel an ounce of sympathy for a fictional character who was written as a child slave and branded on his face despite how he was written later in his life. admittedly, i find it weird and funny how you draw the line at me talking about adam in the same manner as i talk about cinder—well, not really. i haven't called adam "my bby <3" yet. guess i could start, though, just for you?—but i'm sure you have your own justifications and excuses ready for that.

i know you probably won't see this if your claims of blocking me are actually true, but who knows. maybe your friends will get it for you. maybe you continue to come back, clicking on that "show anyway" or whatever the button says when you click on a blog you've blocked to see if i've answered your little call for attention.

and sorry that nuanced takes on characters upset you. i know tumblr is the Reading Comprehension The Site™ but remember, in the words of blake belladonna: there's no such thing as pure evil :) (even when the writing sure does its best to vilify the white fang willing to fight their oppressors.)

[westleywithatea]

Character Analysis of Quackity and ElQuackity

I wanted to post this some point in the QSMP Quackity vs ElQuackity in-roleplay drama (after Purgatory 2 event). I think life got to me. and the emotions from the QSMP ending.

Well, I wanted to write up this thing. So I'm keeping everything as it was drafted in my notebook. Long post warning.

Because of how the content creator plays, act, and talks, it all bleeds into his roleplays. Which leads to everyone and us viewers bullying him. Bullying him and his characters. (Dying to a fly, getting lost in a circle, using the wrong mic on Day 1 and not noticing after an hour...) It can't be helped.

Here's the problem. Our bullying prevents us from taking him seriously. Prevents us from taking the time to tell the differences between Quackity from Opening Day and ElQ. We are mixing them up. Other characters in RP are also mixing them up. We shouldn't. We should be paying attentions to the details. So we could've noticed the cries sooner.

The Q we know and follow the most is a loser, yes. But he's a victim to a tragedy. His entire story thus far is a tragedy. He struggled parenting alone, lost his child, took out his anger and grief onto others, demanded life and power from Cucurucho multiple times, only to get kidnapped, tortured, and imprisoned many times. And did we cried for him?

Nah, we all just laughed at him. Sure, we cried with him over child death. But his absence is overlooked so quickly because ElQ's appearance. A sudden arrival to replace what was lost. Sure, some people did suspected him as someone different. Not our Q. Maybe our Q. Who's to tell? We can't judge tho.

Because both have similar personalities.

This strange ElQuackity is the main character of an epic. A villainous epic, perhaps. But an epic. He thinks himself as both a villain and a hero. He's doing everything he can to get his happy ending. He's suave, cold, calculating, manipulative, dangerous, a menace to society, and evil. He has a lot more power than we realize. He probably has game mode on. He has access to the other servers and spoilers while loser Q does not. He was a Federation Employee, now Purgatory employee. Both very sus and evil roles.

We should be afraid of him! The unsuspecting villain warns us all many times, to deaf ears. there is a reason why we should be more wary of high-ranking Federation employees. Fine, it's their fault for not listening.

{ As a quick side note: I'm aware of the non-canon/ not-lore moments when Q acts more like his CC! self than his RP/ In-character self. Like those days when he introduces a new content creator to the server. When he told Acau the time he died to a fly. That death was him in his ElQ role during Purg event. Obviously, he can't tell the new guy on his first day that he plays 2 characters. }

Every other character are indeed wary, but they're confident that they can defeat him. After all, Quackity is a silly sad guy. Right?

And the lore keeps expanding for each character. More recently for Quackity, he made complaints that everyone talks to him as if he was always around.

"We can't trust you after last month."

"But I wasn't here last month. I wasn't even awake..."

He can't explain the memory gaps.

I think ElQ takes advantage of his resemblance to the sad loser version of himself. You can get a lot more done in secret that way. Remember that he stole Q's train ticket and replaced him, impersonated him for Purgatory. Nobody seemed to noticed anything different.

When you share the same name and face, who would think twice?

[frazzledsoul]

There's something so fucked-up about creating a cozy rom-com to redeem Jimmy Mariano, of all people.

Let's forget the first attempt at the backstory because it was obviously changed. Jimmy knocks up this teenage girl, somehow agrees to marry her, they have an apartment and a life set up and they're at least going to try family life, and he bails before the baby comes home. The show doesn't talk about it because the subject is supposed to be about the Gilmores and the betrayal of Lorelai running away and choosing a less prestigious lifestyle, as well as how it's always more important that Lorelai is embarrassed to tell her wealthy father she's sleeping with his wealthy business partner or how Jess won't plan for dates and how this is the worst thing in the universe or whatever comparatively trivial thing is often going on with the main characters, but the Danes really could not take the stress of Liz being left alone as a teenager with a baby. The business was failing, William Danes got very sick at some point, and Luke (also only a teenager when this started) was the only person to hold it together...Jimmy left Liz in the middle of that, likely knowing she didn't stop drinking while she was pregnant, knowing she couldn't and wouldn't stop partying, knowing the rest of the family couldn't handle it. He didn't come back for eighteen years (and I doubt he paid child support, either) and when he did exactly...what was he expecting? Liz is gone, Luke is barely holding it together, Jess at this point is something of a broken husk of a kid who's finally failed at keeping his demons at bay...what did you think would happen, buddy? You abandoned your kid to that, two decades ago. I guess you thought it's like giving a kid up for adoption and you'd show up and find out that he's done fine without you and you can stop thinking about it, but you didn't sign the papers to give him a better life, you just left. And once you find out that he's not better off, that you had a big part in making him what he is, you leave again.

And when Jess comes to find him, in a beach bum version of Stars Hollow where he will never fit in and that he's going to hate worse than the place he just left, he rejects Jess again, because he just can't handle it again and even after making all the effort to go and see him in the first place, he doesn't have any room for Jess in his family or his life, even if Jess has no one else. He has to beg to be given half a chance, and Jimmy barely takes it. Where's the shame, the guilt, the sense of responsibility? Why does the kid you abandoned have to beg YOU for a chance, Jimmy?

And I don't care if he's cute and charming and ASP thinks throwing a handful of la-la-las in this bucolic environment is going to cover up the ugliness here. I don't care if the excuse of being a teenage father is going to be what Jimmy keeps riding on, because Luke and Lorelai were children when they got the huge responsibilities of a small baby and a dying dad dumped on their laps, and they still tried to care for the people that needed them. I don't want to see THAT GUY, who has no shame or guilt over what he's done and seems to resent Jess for asking for anything, redeemed. Fuck you, deadbeat dad. Put in some effort. Oh, it might harm your laconic hot dog stand owner vibe. I forgot.

So I'm glad it never happened, because Jimmy Mariano didn't deserve it, and I don't think it was what Jess needed, and the fact that he comes back to Stars Hollow angrier than ever and still spitting nails at Luke, unable to offer either Luke or Rory any sort of an apology or explanation, is definitely an indication that things did not go well out there. I know ASP would likely have had all kinds of excuses for Jimmy just like she did for Christopher and fail to really account for the harm he caused the kid he left behind, just like she did for Christopher but I think...we had more than enough of that for this universe, especially with the attempts to wave away Liz's behavior that we got over the next few years.

We didn't need more of that. Let Jess silently hate his worthless dad. Rory didn't get to. There should be one character that does.

[shrimplymoray]

PLS.. KILL LILIA. MAKE HIM SUFFER IN THE AFTERMATH OF BOOK SEVEN. MAKE HIM BED RIDDEN AND DIE SLOWLY. I CRAVE ANGST. MAKE HIS SONS BE SAD TOO. PLEASE.

ok I’ll get into actual details.. ermm could u pls make a lil fic on Lilia basically DYING still after everyone wakes up and Malleus is out of his OB form?? :33 And also make Malleus feel pretty guilty too for extra angst!! :3333 Actually MAKE ALL LILIA’S SONS GUILTY IF YA CAN 🙏🙏 I just need angst dude .. AND PLS MAKE LILIA ACTUALLY DIE AT THE END!! /NF!!

EHEHEHHEHE. I'm so sorry for putting off on my Requests, I've been doing a bunch of stuff, and I've barely been able to keep my head on my shoulders and think straight. HOWEVER i'm trying to get back to writing slowly.

PS: as it was not requested, this is not a pairing. Also GN Yuu's POV.

TW: BOOK 7 SPOILERS, Main Character's Death, Angst with no Comfort, Vague death description, Grief (and a lot on that)

Diasomnia Angst - Death of a Hero

It all seemed well. The thorns that involved the island had retreated into the ground, as soon as Malleus fell unconscious after his Overblot. The battle was exhaustive, everyone barely keeping up, but we won. That's what matters, right? Everyone is here, fine and well. Me, Grim, Ace, Deuce... We are all well. The Diasomnia Students, much like all students, don't have life-threatening wounds, as it seems. So why... Why is the smell of blood lingering in the air? It took a while for all of us to notice it, at first. As we all know by now, Lilia is great at hiding his hurt through a boyish smile. And that is what everyone saw, the boyish comforting smile of the man who knows no end to his pain. It took him way too long to show his miseries of the past, but this one, oh, this one came crawling up way quicker.

Silver was there to catch him when he fell unconscious, Lilia had a deep, horrible gash on his abdomen. It revealed past scars, but the way the blood fell around his limp body, it showed us what we did not want to know and hear. It was me, Sebek, and Silver who took both Malleus and Lilia to the infirmary. They knew the procedure for Malleus' case, although his overblot was tougher than any other. But Lilia... The Nurse and Professor Crewel said - no, they didn't say, they promised us- they would do whatever they could to keep him alive.

It took 2 days. Two days for the news to break. I wasn't there when they told them, but I heard what happened from another Diasomnia student in my class: Silver's head dipped down, and he broke crying, while Sebek yelled they didn't do enough. That they could've done something and they didn't. That they lied to them. Malleus was already back on his feet by that time, and at that, he didn't say anything but wished that the body was sent to the castle at Briar Valley. That day, when I found Sebek, I hugged him. I never clung so hard to someone in my life, like how I did with Sebek. And I said how sorry I was, and how I wished I could've done more. Sebek stood still before he muttered meaningless apologies. He said, "I'm sorry for failing Master Lilia.", "I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger to help Silver and Master Lilia" and even "I'm sorry, it's all my fault." Professor Crewel saw us and said we would have the day off. Sebek and I went to the Diasomnia Dorm that afternoon and started packing Lilia's things with Silver. Silver usually stayed calm and collected around others, and was a voice of reason among the three of us, but at that moment, I didn't see him as the retained or Malleus, or as one of the heroes of the Sage Island. No, I saw him as a boy. A Boy who just lost his father.

That night, I waited patiently for Hornton to visit my dorm. He usually wasn't late, but that night, it seemed like thousands of days passed before he arrived. When I saw him, he looked oddly calm. He sat down on the porch by my side and told me the stories he lived with Lilia or the ones he heard from him. It was like a child. I could do nothing but hug him, and at that moment, he said how sorry he was, that the only thing he wanted was to keep everyone safe with him, and how he failed. He said "I know that if he heard me like this, he would giggle and brush it off as if it was nothing. He would tell me to not get stuck on what I failed to do but to focus on what I must proceed doing afterwards. But... I can't. I can't remember and think this without knowing what I did." Malleus seemed to feel the weight of the world on his shoulders and yet... He opened up to me, nothing but a human from another world. "Please," he said " I beg of you, to not forgive me for the crimes I did. I am not worthy of forgiveness if I wasn't able to save the one that raised me before anyone else." I couldn't do anything but Hug him harder, and try muttering how much it mattered that he deserved forgiveness. I think we stayed out there for way longer than usual because Sebek, Silver, and Grim came to meet us. Malleus only managed to look at Sebek and Silver before he kneeled down and said the same he did to me. Sebek and Silver looked at each other, and we all hugged Malleus, crying. Even Grim joined.

I know it will take a while for everyone to be able to go back to normal if we even do that. But I hope somewhere, in the Underworld, Lilia will think and protect us. The Ghosts of the dorm said that if we got lucky, Lilia's ghost could visit us. I don't think that was what we needed to hear, but... it is a start.

Hope you enjoy this! It was very different from what I usually write, but I worked hard on it.

[msallurea]

The Blessing of No Longer Relasping

TW: very vulnerable, includes discussion of dr*gs, su1c1de, s3lf h4rm, etc

Today I woke up and everything was going fine until my morning was ruined because I couldn't find my key on my purse which is where I always put it. This pissed me completely off for 3 main reasons:

1. I hate hearing my mom fuss and give me the irresponsibility speech

2. I ALWAYS am 99.9% aware of where my things are and if not then it's placed in the last place I know I put it at which I didn't see it at

3. My siblings are the reason I know my key wasn't there

How my set my personal belongings I try putting it in a way where it can't be touched, unfourtanetly my siblings always find a way to ruin that which is why I've been dying for my own fucking room. This weekend they had continuously kept dropping mythings and at some point I got tired of it and told them they need to pick up my things themselves, this alone pissed me off even more because when I checked my things stuff was still on the floor that was for me. As I was trying to find my key this morning mind you I have to be at school at a certain time as well I couldn't even find it and when I asked my siblings to help me because I know in my gut they're the reason why it wasn't there, for one they were barely looking and secondly they sat up there looking in the places I knew it wasn't at..(my little sister for example sees me looking in my purse and sits up there walk towards me trying to look in my purse to see if it's there I MEAN WTF BRO😑🤬)

So now I'm sitting in class trying to figure out how I'm about to tell my mom I don't have my key without telling her and play it off. Honestly this whole thing upsets me and really sets me off causing me stress. I had came to school ans my thoughts were pretty rampant but after a long while eventually I calm down...well at least my thoughts weren't so rampant. Normally I would've tried doing something to harm myself or fill my mind up with the many MANY ways I would've wanted to either get revenge or harm myself or 0verd0se of dr*gs just to feel better especially because I'm holding back a ton of tears right now. This is sensitive and so stressful for me because I do have OCD and I'm prone to high levels of stress especially especially when I become compulsive.

This time around I didn't do anything out of character. I didn't plunge myself up in a dark place and drown myself in my own rage and impulse shoving myself down with anything harmful i could find just to feel better like I normally would've done. The worst part is with all this I was gonna blame myself for even allowing this entire situation to happen this way. I say all this to say to anyone who does have issues with relapsing and going back to there old self h4rming tendencies that it is ok...you don't have to be a slave to your darker traits. It's a blessing I didn't drown myself in my compulsive nature and self aimed harm. Just like for those who have been going strong on sobriety and are recovering from your own self h4rm tendencies I want you to know I'm so proud of you..that's something I wish I could hear in times like this where the world we live in currently quite literally anything could trigger me and people like me.

To those who are still here holding strong just know we both made it this far and we're gonna make it even farther..to those who are on their verge of end and feel they are ready to clock out and unsubcribe from what feels like hell right now...I cant control your choices and decisions but if you have any little feeling left at all in you please understand that you don't have to be a slave to yourself anymore. I know you wanna let it all go and not deal with any of these things anymore, but know there is always a choice even when you can't see them. You always have a choice to finally take control even if it seems like you can't. Take it from me when I say that it is out of our control to see how others will do us and the circumstances we go through but it is in our control how we handle them and how we choose to let them affect us. To those who feel like no one ever listens know that you're always being heard..from someone much higher than any of us, who you believe that to be is your choice. There's a reason you're still here even if you can't see it yet or even understand, you're not gonna understand now but you will one day which makes this all the more valuable.

You are loved, you are safe, you're protected, you ARE enough and always will be..

[the-fiction-witch]

Emergency

Media House of Anubis

Character Jerome Clarke

Couple Jerome X Reader

Rating ADORABLE AF!

Writers notes: Hey little bats! I am on a bit of a nostalgia kick at the moment, and I watched this show when it first came out and it was... like legit my childhood. Now I'm rewatching is with friends for nostalgia so.... Yes. I'm gonna be making some jerome fic's along the way, much like the lancel fics I don't imagine these being that popular but really... I'm just doing this for funzies so if you like them I'll do more, if you don't... well... I'm sure I'll have some other stuff coming soon too.

I stood in the main lobby of Anubis house, the wood-lined walls around me, the black and red stone floor below me, and the chandelier hung from high enough it wouldn't be hit when people came down the stairs. I leant against the bannister for the stairs, my black shoes a little dirty from the rain yesterday, my grey trousers pulled up high with my hands in my pockets, my crisp white button down, my red and gold tie done up tight, my grey button down jumper buttoned up completely both my shirt and jumpers sleeves rolled up to my elbows, My green and leather messenger bag over my chest the body of my bag on my hip with my blazer hung over it.

Everyone else had gone on the way to class already, I would have gone with Alfie but he was snuggled with Amber on the walk so I'd only be a third wheel, and... I know she would be walking alone too or as a third wheel too so I always wait for her.

Well, I have other reasons for wanting to walk with her but... I did my best not to think about it knowing it would make me blush,

"You should be gone by now Mr Clarke," Victor glared as he walked down from his office,

"I'm waiting for y/n." I told him,

"Umm... well make sure you both get gone." He said as he headed elsewhere in the house,

I sighed and checked my multistrand watch, we would be late if we didn't hurry, I crossed my arms over my chest I tapped my foot impatiently, I heard the footsteps and the corner of my eyes caught the flash of red and grey. "There you are, come along little sloth girl," I laughed as I turned on my heels to look up the stairs to see her but I was taken back immediately,

Y/n shuffled and trudged down the wooden stairs, in her little black plimsolls, her grey knee-high socks at mismatched heights, her black tights, her little grey pleated skirt, her white button down not fully tucked into her skirt, her tie loose, her blazer around her, her bag over her shoulder, and her hair messy even if she did still have her spare tie as a bow in her hair, she had no makeup, her skin pale, dark rings around her eyes, her lips pale, I could tell just from looking at her she was struggling with pain, and even just at catching her breath, "Yeah... Sorry Jerome." Her voice weak and breathy, she was barely even able to get her words out.

"Christ Y/n, You're looking utterly ghostly," I chuckled trying to lighten the mood but I frowned, "Are you alright?"

"I... I may... I may be dying,"

"You're not joking with me are you?" I asked immediately concerned, "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, my head hurts my stomach hurts, I can't breathe very well, and I've been throwing up all night"

"All night!"

"Mhm," She nodded as she reached the bottom of the stairs our height difference was now obvious, as her forehead was now lined with my chin,

"Are you even able to walk?"

"Not well no..." she answered, "But I'll be okay we have that biology test today,"

"Biology tes- Y/n. Look at yourself, for Christ's sake. you're white as a ghost! I'm not going to just stand here and let you faint right in front of me,"

"I'll be okay once I get some fresh air and some structure I'll be fine"

"You need to go see the nurse."

"I don't want to be a bother..."

"You're not a bother when you're actually sick. Alfile is a bother to the nurse when he does his phoney nosebleed, Amber is a bother to the nurse when she goes in becuase she chipped her acrylics, and you y/n are actually sick."

"I'll be okay," she nodded as she tried to walk to the door but could barely walk let alone keep herself up, "I just need to get to class."

"Are you crazy? the nurse's office, now." I told her, I tried to tug her arm but that knocked her balance and sent her tumbling to the floor, I immediately froze up, stopping dead, guilt overflowing that I'd hurt her. I immediately went to my knees and looked over her "shit, Shit. Are you- are you okay!" I asked trying not to freak out!

"...Oouch..." She whined,

I sighed and checked her forehead with the back of my hand and she was beyond burning up her body shivered even if my own hand on her was shaking, "I know... you said you're dying... but I'm serious. do you feel like you're going to die?"

"I feel like I may pass out,"

"Right now or when you move?"

"When I exist."

"You're going to the nurse," I told her as I got to my feet and very carefully helped her up even if she tumbled a few times but I did my best to catch her,

"Jerome I'm-"

"You are going. I'm gonna drag you to the nurse if I have to. I am not leaving you here to die. Now... there is no way you can walk all the way there and I am concerned about leaving you alone when I fetch the nurse... So, what do we do?"

She looked down accepting I wasn't going to let her get away with his so she wrapped her arms lazily around my neck, "Carry me."

"... You uhh... You sure you want me... to do that?" I asked looking down at the top of her little head unable to hold back a smile at the thought of carrying her in my arms like her knight in shining armour,

She nodded barely able to do much more then move her head and even that was making her dizzy, I was hesitant for a moment but I picked her up as gently as I could one arm under her knees and the other around her back, her arms kept around my neck and shoulders,

"You hold on tight y/n." I told her and she nodded, "I'll take it nice and slow." I told her carefully I headed out of the dorm keeping her as steady as I could over the gravel and dirt. I couldn't help looking down at her unable to hide my worry, I kept a sturdy grip. For a moment just the image of having her laid in my arms with her head now resting against my chest was enough to make my heart skip, for a little while I just stared at her unable to hold back a smile, she was barely conscious her eyes barely open for longer then a few seconds at most, even if she's sick... she still looks adorable. She grumbled a little readjusting her face against my jumper, I shook my head and looked away trying not to smile. as it just kinda occurred to me that happily smiling while carrying a deathly ill girl in my arms may look... a bit serial killerish.

As soon as we got to school I rushed her to the nurse's office they merely needed one look at her before getting her set up on a bed, I told her everything Y/n told me about how she was feeling, how she had been acting, even if having to explain it all in words just made me even more worried vocalizing the extend of the situation my voice getting shaky as I spoke,

"Ohh My, alright, You get yourself to Class Mr Clarke, We'll make sure Miss Y/l/n gets what she needs," The nurse said clearly eager to get rid of me,

I know why but at the same time as I looked at her in that bed with the second nurse desperately looking over her with panic in the nurse's eyes, I knew... I can't do it and my emotion ran over. "Wait. No. I'm not leaving her here on her own."

"we will ensure she gets what she needs,"

"You sure she's going to be alright? can't I just stay please just let me stay with her to make sure she's okay."

"Head to class Mr Clarke, we don't have room for visitors I'm afraid, I'm sure you'll hear from her as soon as she's feeling better,"

"Are you really just going to make me leave? I'm the only one who knows about her symptoms and she's borderline comatosed, and she's in an awful state."

"Mr Clarke Please." She said,

"I need to stay with her," I begged,

"I know you're worried about her but you're going to just be in the way of things,"

"Can't you just let me stick around the hallway, Just so I'm close by but not in the way of things." I pleaded, "Please." I asked on the nerve of tears at the mere idea of leaving her alone.

"Mr Clarke. Go to class before I call Mr Sweet." The Nurse warned,

I gulped, I know that's not an ideal threat, and Mr Sweet already has it out for me, "Fine." I groaned, "But Can you please keep me updated? I can pop by after each class until she's okay."

"we'll see what we can do,"

I nodded and went to leave but I couldn't just leave, I looked back to the nurse again, "I... I really care about her okay? I'm... I'm really, really worried about her. Please, just do what you can for her as fast as possible."

"We will, Get to class, Mr Clarke."

I nodded and headed to class for the rest of the period.

I took my seat and did my best to focus but it seemed almost impossible, I could barely think straight wondering about y/n, how she was, if she was okay, I could barely keep her from my mind, I couldn't listen to the teacher say a single word, hardly wrote a word, all I did was watch the second hand on the clock praying for it to get faster so I could go and check up on her. When the sudden silence of the classroom was interrupted by a sound that froze me to my core, the sound of a siren.

Everyone in class raised their heads like prairie dogs curiously but I looked out the window my eyes locked onto the ambulance coming into the car park and up to the doors closest to the nurse's office. And I know it can only mean one thing this early in the morning...

Y/n.

I forced back my chair grabbed my stuff and darted for the door.

"Uhh Mr Clarke Sit down." The teacher demanded,

I didn't even bother to give him an answer, as I went to the door,

"Mr Clarke if you don't sit down, you'll get a detention."

"Do it Teach," I told him as I forced open the door and bolted through the empty corridors, given it was the middle of class time the halls were empty, so I could dash through the halls to the nurse's office but the bed she was in was empty, so I rushed to the front doors that were now open wide as they loaded Y/n in a bed onto the back of the ambulance, As soon as I saw her like that my heart was racing, my hands shaking, my breath shallow, I tried to get in the back with her but the paramedic threw me back.

"What are you doing kid!"

"Where are you guys taking her!?"

"what are you doing here kid this is an emergency we don't have time for this,"

"Answer me! Answer the question!" I gritted my teeth, "Where are you taking her?"

"Eastfield emergency hospital." He said,

"Emergency Hospital!"

"Why? We need to get going."

"Is she stable?!"

"Not if we don't leave now."

"Then I'm coming."

"Comin- Kid! We can't just take you with us. There's a lot of paperwork, we can't just take you out of school, there's permissions, and details, look kid we could get in a tone of trouble we can only take you if your her brother."

I grabbed his arm before he could go pleading with him, "Please! I'm not her brother, but she's really sick. and I need to be with her. She's my best friend. she practically lives with me. Please! Just let me come with you to the hospital just so I can stay with her!"

"She'll be able to contact you when things are more stable,"

"You're really going to just leave me with no idea how she is! She could be dying in there!"

"she is. That's why we need to go now."

"Then I'm coming with."

"Kid you're only preventing us from getting your friend there faster."

"You will let me come with you, you will let me climb in the back with her or I will climb on the back myself I am not going to stay here in the dark!"

"Mr Clarke Enough." Mr sweet warns as he forces me away from the man, "Return to your class immediately,"

My voice shaky, my tears welling up, "This. Is the most important thing in the entire world to me. I'm not going back to class without knowing what's going on I need to go with her."

"Take Her Now." Mr Sweet demanded as he held me by my arms forcing me to remain no matter how much I argued and pleaded with him, the paramedics closed the doors, and I saw the last image of Y/n lying deathly ill, pale, and distant, her hand hung off the bed almost lifeless as the doors where closed and they quickly left at speed.

Watching the ambulance go, knowing she was inside, my heart sank, my blood boiled, my hands shook, my vision blurring, I felt like my legs would give out, to not know if she was okay...

"Return to your class, Mr Clarke."

I turned to him my face stained with tears, forcing myself out of his grip, "Make me. Sir."

"Go. Or detention,"

"Fine."

"Go Now. Or suspension."

"I will happily take the suspension." I stared back,

"Go back to your class or you will be expelled!"

"... So be it. do your worst." I told him fixing my bag on my shoulder and making my way marching off campus to follow the ambulance to Eastfield Emergency Hospital, ignoring all the consequences, anything else I don't care.

I need to make sure Y/n is okay. 

[shackld]

Because @deathfavor chose to engage in my thoughts which is a very dangerous thing to do because i write novels on chief as a character alone.

OKAY SO basically my whole idea is it's so clear Chief is doomed by the narrative and I don't really see an ending with either her surviving or being totally fine. Ever since the beginning, we know chiefs having been dying left and right, the current Chief and our pride and joy, being the thirteenth I believe. Since the prologue, she's been beaten all to hell and has constantly been pushing herself to the breaking point time and time again. There are clearly people who care about her and want her to slow down, but she can't. It is just not in Chief's nature to take it slow and I believe Suspect R has even made a remark about this when she appeared to Chief again in that little dream sequence.

Part of this is Chief's own fault, making people worry and saying fuck you to the consequences and making risky plays that yeah! It works out in the end because she is smarter than she lets on, especially when it comes to strategy but her main focus is on the outcome and not what getting there would do to her body and mind, right?

Then the other part of this is the world and literally everything around her beating her into the ground and not giving her a moment's rest. There is Mania, there are Sinners, Black Rings, etc and it's been FORCED down her throat that she has to fix this, SHE has the shackles and she must use them for the betterment of the world. It's not a job she asked for but it's a job she's quite good at. It is fucking her up in ways beyond belief but thanks to her amnesia, its the only life Chief has known and will ever know. She makes bad mistakes and doesn't think about what happens to everyone else when she worries them, but she is trying to get as much done as possible because she knows she doesn't have much time left. The Chief before her didn't, so it's safe to say she won't make it far herself.

And I know I love comparing her to a dog and making dog motif jokes, but it's true. The shackles are a collar to her as much as she may collar the Sinners under her care. The MBCC is a cage to them all and the further Chief goes, the deeper she goes into it.

I do not think a happy ending is possible for her because of her nature, the world and just. Everything forcing her to her breaking point and I want to believe it'd be okay at the end, mania getting defeated, Sinners being okay and no more Black Rings. And that may very well happen, they'll defeat the big bad but it has to be at a cost and I'm not saying she'll die (we've had many death scares so far, especially now with the coma) but she might not be all there at the end. I say she's doomed by the narrative and her own being, but there's still a light, it'll just be bittersweet I think!

I am insane.

[littlesoka7567]

My Thoughts on The Bad Batch Finale

spoilers for The Bad Batch finale.

First: I loved it!!!! That was so epic, I absolutely loved pretty much every second of that episode.

I loved all the action in this episode, and I thought it was very well done. I didn't feel like there was any unnecessary action or violence, I thought every scene was well thought out and needed in order to get to the end result.

I loved all of the character development we got and all the stories that were wrapped up, and not just the main characters!

I loved seeing Hemlock go, in real time, from the mastermind playing chess he's always been to a desperate, terrified person. Just a guy, desperate to find a way out of the situation he was in. He was terrified, he was at a loss at what to do, and he was completely out of his element. He looked like it. It was amazing!

I loved the extremely satisfying ways in which Hemlock and Rampart died. Rampart dying to his own hubris was fantastic. If he hadn't tried to get the upper hand, and instead followed the clones to the escape shuttle, he would have been fine. But he wanted to go back to the empire and be a prominent figure, and that directly caused his death. And then Hunter, Crosshair, and Omega working together to kill Hemlock was more than I could have ever hoped for. It was epic!

The whole thing with that one guy having a helmet resembling Tech's was very mean, and I loved it. Because it was a decision made for one of two reasons: A red herring, which meant nothing but served to make us think about Tech again; or that was actually Tech. And the Batch came heart shattering-ly close to getting their brother back. Either way, it worked to get me thinking and emotional, and I loved it!

Finally, I LOVED that end scene/epilogue. It was lovely!!! I hope it means they're going to do a spin off where we see Omega in the rebellion, but I also think it's just a lovely little end to their story. The Batch retired to Pabu, where they will live the rest of their lives. Omega joined the rebellion as a pilot. That's the end of their story, they're happy and doing what they want to do.

Anyway. I loved it, and I'm gonna rewatch the whole series soon.

Also, look out for a mini fic soon. I got a really angsty idea I can't wait to share!

[avalonmoonshinesstuff]

I just realised Something about a portion of fandom I don't really engage with all that much. Because I don't want to, btw.

In all other shows, movies, books, etc, every single bad person is at least somewhat 'ugly' according to the narrative. The 'problematic' characters rarely get acknowledged because there are so many good looking characters who are good themselves (I remember Annabelle from the first book of Percy Jackson, I think, and there were more ofc).

However, Rowling's main idea about appearances was that it was an illusion. Every single good looking character is either reprehensible or ends up dying (Cedric) in the same book they were introduced*. The story wants to be relatable to how every teen feels, and no matter what, we all have insecurities.

However, they're just teens, and on top of that, at least one or more of our main teens have done something terrible or badwrong (Hermione with skeeter and Marietta). So, they aren't exceptionally beautiful and neither are they exceptionally good. Even the side characters who are popular come across as jerks to some of their family members, making their sibling cry.

This creates a problem for the people who don't have a sense of self yet, or are so scarred they can only look at life through black & white lenses.

The Halo effect playing greatly onto the above, we're presented with another set of teens, two of whom are described as extremely sought after by the opposite sex, one of whom is popular, and the final one who has endeared himself by showing ugly Snivellus his place (via map and the Verbal Sparring). They all, by the end of this introduction, understand that Snivellus is badwrong and doesn't deserve anything good.

'It's clear he's the villain, and has been since forever, see, these people agree with me and they're the Protagonist's parents.' Whether this is believed because of the Halo effect or taking Harry's perspective to mean a God pov, I can't tell. The point being, they are even more convinced.

They want an escape from how difficult it is to sort out their feeling about these people the author keeps throwing at their face so why not attach to the characters who are dead or strongly attached to the protagonist (so they can never be badwrong in later books). A safety blanket of sorts, if you will. And in doing so, they completely ignore the nuances of the scenes presented in the last book. Because they are attached, they'd rather call badwrong Snivellus' love impure than explore what the montage of all his memories implied. That beauty is skin deep.

The thing about people who like such black and white scenarios and people is: they will always fall prey to the Halo Effect. And it's extremely painful to be disillusioned about your favourites. So they may never get disillusioned.

All this to say, sometimes I wonder why that part of the fandom is like 'that'. And it's just that this is the safety net in this series, or this is just how vanilla people outside of fandom coming in can take.

And that's fine (coz I'm crazy for the marauders era as well, just with a slightly wider taste pallet).

TL Dr: The antis are attracted to wholesome ships and since Rowling made it so difficult to find such ships until much later where you are emotionally connected with each character, the antis attached to a bunch of (mostly) dead people who, by association to the Hero of the story, being pretty, popular, and clear on their behaviour with the badwrong confusing character, are all good. They were desperately looking for the safety net in the books and found some. Also, since antis are the way they are, maybe they believe the fictional character being dead means people would not criticise their wholesome ship? Idk.

A/N:

*The only properly handsome man - Bill - barely gets mentioned, marries a beautiful woman, and imo the only reason he doesn't die is because he didn't revel in his handsomeness or popularity (him liking Snape in school is so cute + that disqualifies him from being popular with the antis since he likes the badwrong character). Also, he was literally scarred on his once handsome face to show that his wife actually loved him and didn't just choose him to have beautiful babies. Her being a veela and owning her Frenchness were already flaws (in the narrative's opinion) so all she needed was a scarred husband. Now, they both don't have to die 🤣.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s15e20 carry on (w. andrew dabb)

well. i started watching this show last year around end of february. more or less since maybe a bit through s1, i've been watching one episode a day. sometimes it takes me a few days to get through one episode, other times i need a break because of some bad stuff in the episode prior. i've been posting a recap thing for every episode since about midway through s4.

297 posts under my spnwatch tag, which has some doubles because of reblogs when i split up the watch etc. so yeah, only a year of my life, but i've spent so many hours writing about the show now that it's like i'm wrapping up some large project by finishing it. that said, because i didn't write up those first few seasons (only when i recognized someone and did a hey i know you), i do think i might go back and write those up when i start a rewatch. so i have a project extension waiting in the wings 🤪

i made a fanvid, i've made spn gifs and even some j2 gifs

i've also painted a good amount of things from the show now

so i guess this is all to say, this show has been so creatively inspiring and i'm thankful for that - despite all my regular complaining, i do care so much for these two characters and the relationship they forged and shared on screen over all these years. i'm late to the party but i'm glad i got here nonetheless

i'm nervous to watch this episode. i know the main moments but not how it plays out. and i've been upset about and complained about dean's ending for many a season knowing it was coming down the pike

i gather there's no official time on when this takes place, but that jared has said 5 years later and the script linked from the wiki said 6 months but however long it was apparently sam has learned to use a towel with a hot pan handle in this little domestic slice of life montage

DEAN What? What's wrong? SAM Nothing. I'm fine. DEAN No, come on. I know that face. That's, uh... That Sad Sam face. SAM I'm not Sad Sam. I'm just... I'm thinking about Cass, you know? Jack. If they could be here. DEAN Yeah, no. I think about 'em, too. You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. Right? But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing. So, quit being a friggin' Eeyore, huh? Come on.

get busy living or get busy dying

can't complain about going out on a monster of the week episode vs the any of the prior ridiculous mainplots

is it happening already? there's a barn. and vampires. i mean, that's kind of funny that they brought back some very minor evil side character and immediately killed her off. ok well and they showed us dean once narrowly missing the rebar so i guess so.

i knew i wasn't going to handle dean dying well, and i'm not handling it well. he's so young and they went through so much misery for basically his entire life. and insult to injury is sam having to live without him for so long.

DEAN I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't... I didn't know what... What you would say. I thought you'd tell me to... to get lost or get dead. And I don't know what I would've done... if I didn't have you. 'Cause I was so scared. I was scared, 'cause when it all came down to it, it was always you and me. It's always been you... and me. SAM Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone. DEAN Yes, you can. SAM Well, I don't want to.

and with the callback to the pilot moment and exchange about doing it alone...

DEAN Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you... (Dean is crying as he places his fist over Sam's heart) Right here... every day. Every day you're out there and you're Li... And you're living and you're fighting, 'cause you... You always keep fighting. You hear me? I'll be there every step. I love you so much. My baby brother. Oh, man. Well, I did not think this would be the day. But it is. It is, and that's... Man... that's okay. I need you to... I need you to promise me. I need you to... To... to tell me... that it's okay. I need you to tell me that it's okay.

i really hate everything about him dying like this but i can appreciate the words they gave us for their love for each other.

i really would like to finish this in one go because i don't want to be crying for two days.

not a fan of the licensed music choices jay gruska (ofc) made. lyrics fit but music itself, pass. maybe for the best, if there was something better in this collection of sam grieving i might not be able to handle it. not really handling now either tbf

DEAN So, Jack did all that? BOBBY Well... Cass helped.

that mean cas is out of the empty then? i'd think i would know that, and with jack fixing everything that would make sense

DEAN It's almost perfect. BOBBY He'll be along. Time up here, it's... it's different.

but it isn't for sammy... but i guess he's happy with his kid and blurry wife and all that, so.

if they were gonna do the gray wig on jared, the least they could have done was some aging makeup as well

counted i think 3 variations of the mushy music theme between dean dying, something else i don't wanna backtrack for, and on the bridge

i know this is a happy ending but just like i considered a fic where the mains die in the last moments when they're old still mcd, this falls under the same kind of thing for me personally. some things make me cry, and it's cathartic. i cry easily, obviously. this is engineered to make me sob and i don't like the premise of him dying early, or that we had to follow the story through them dying to reunite in heaven. it surely adds to the romance of the story, but i also find it incredibly upsetting and i don't particularly like feeling this way. so this is why i'd been dreading this episode for months.

so, that's that, i guess.

Eric Kripke revealed in an interview with EW, that after learning of the show's planned ending, he had attempted to think of different ones to pitch back to Andrew Dabb and Bob Singer, but ultimately came to the conclusion that their planned ending was the right one. Saying of his proposed alternate ending: "There's only one scene that I haven't done that I would've done for the end of the show and I'm certainly not going to give it away, maybe one day I will. But I can assure the fans that my ending was so much darker than the ending they're going with, so anyone who's like, 'Kripke should've ended it,' I'm like, 'You would've hated my ending!' Because it was a horror movie and it was going to have a horror movie ending, so I can promise you the ending [they went with] you'll love much more than if you had let me end the show."

i can only imagine and yes i'm sure i would have hated it too

Dean II: Dad. It's okay. You can go now.

As he described at the November StageIt panel, it was Jared's idea to mirror Dean's death with Sam's. The line "You can go now" was inspired by what director Bob Singer related he had said to his own father.

yeah yeah. my mom made me tell my dad this too when he was dying from cancer when I was 16.