#I'm finally free and able to do things? Very few of my friends and those I want to holiday with are

[rowenabean]

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[ahgasegotarmy116]

BANG-ABLE | Jeon Jungkook One Shot | Teaser

Summary: You've been single for way too long and you're done with causal sex and all the drama that comes along with it...so why not try something new? Pairing: f!reader x Sex Bot Jungkook (idk man 😂) Warnings: Smut and Explicit language (obvi lmao) a/n: I've been working on this for a while and I wanted to put out a teaser to see how well something like this would be received. It probably won't be going up for another two weeks or so since I'm trying to keep to a more manageable posting schedule so I hope you'll look forward to it! Feel free to comment down below if you'd like to be tagged! P.s. Ava is her best friend but it's pretty obvious lmao

Read the full one shot here!

"'How to bang your robot' sounds very informative" Ava giggles and I scoff, "That's not what it says dummy" I groan, thumbing through the manual until I find the most important piece of information, how to turn him on...well power him up so to say. The other part I guess I'll figure out later on when we're alone, although I'm sure she would love to watch.

I don't think I'll ever be able to understand how she can talk about things like sex so openly but I guess that's part of her twisted charm.

I brush some of the hay-like packaging off of him so the both of us can finally see what he looks like and my breath hitches once his face comes into view.

"I did a good job huh?" she says while elbowing me in the side, groaning when she hits the new tattoo I got on my ribcage the other day. "Oh shit I'm sorry! I forgot!" she says, apologizing but I brush it off as an accident and go back to inspecting him.

After taking more of the packaging off I finally find where his on switch is, which happens to be on his peck. "Really? I haven't even turned him on and I already have to violate him?" I say, hesitating for a second and then just rip the bandaid off so to say and lift his shirt up.

"Damn those abs are drool worthy" Ava whistles and I wack her in the arm, "You're not helping" I groan and find the plate that is covering the on switch, looking between him and her, contemplating on if I should go for it or not.

She nods her head, urging me to do it and after a second or two I give in and flip the switch quickly and fix his shirt so he's all covered up again. He might be a robot but I still think he deserves to be treated with respect.

Even if his whole purpose is to just fuck me senseless.

We both watch for a second and hear a few of the mechanisms start to move about before he takes his first breath. Well...kinda.

He opens his eyes and blinks a few times and I know for a fact that Ava hit it right on the head in her description. She knows me too well at this point if she was able to create a Mr. Right for me with a few clicks on her keyboard.

That or he's just very attractive to begin with.

He looks around for a second before turning his head towards me, our eyes locking for the first of many times and I can already feel my cheeks start to heat up. 'I'm fucked'

[rimunagenius]

I Could Die For you

ʚ pairing: Kate Martin x reader

ʚ word count: 1.2k

ʚ warnings: RPF!! , fluff, fluff, literal fluff, so much love that it’s sickening

ʚ rimunagenius speaks: to make up for that last post about emily because what the flip!! also the first Kate fic i’ve released that hasn’t been in a series!! yay! also ofc i had to write Kate to one of my favorite love songs!!💕 if you guys do not listen to this song and love it, i’m quitting writing and reporting everyone’s blog…

| Women’s Basketball Masterlist |

Something inside the cards I know is right

Don't wanna live somebody else's life

Kate was so happy. She knew her life was exactly where she wanted it to be. Cold mornings like this, wrapped in the bed sheets, both your bodies wrapped together to create the most perfect fit to a puzzle.

With your head resting on her body, your nose nuzzling perfectly into her neck, your soft snores and exhales ticking her skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

The way your hand rested on her chest, and the way Kate's hand rested on your waist from the way she was holding you into her body. She knew she didn't want to be anywhere else but here. Lying here, wide awake admiring you and thanking god or whoever was out there, that she was able to do this, and do it with you.

This is what I want to be

And this is what I give to you because I get it free

"Oh my god, Kate." You stood in shock in your guys' kitchen. You had a rough day at work, letting Kate know that while you sat in your office, counting down the minutes until you could come home. So when you walked through the door and wandered into the living room where Kate was watching the NBA finals, she got up to greet you and took you to the kitchen, giving you the flowers and chocolate she picked up on her way home from practice today. 

You had a new adjustments to make since leaving Iowa. Picking up your life and moving to Las Vegas with Kate when she found out she made the roster officially, after living in a hotel room during training camp. You loved her so much, and you had so much faith in the person she was and the skills she had, you knew moving across states wasn't going to be a regret you had years down the line. 

Tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation radiating from the blonde who stood a few feet away. "Aw, don't cry. Why are you crying, baby?" Kate walked up to you, wrapping her arms around your neck so you buried your face into her chest. 

"Because. You do this for me just for having a bad day. Your days are full of stress with basketball, still proving yourself, and tired from your work. I don't deserve you, Kate." You were a mess. You missed a lot of things. You missed your old friends, how close your guys' family used to be, and you missed Kate while she was gone. You missed a lot of things—you've longed for those things, but you loved your life here with Kate. You two away from what you knew and grew accustomed to, to independently make what you want and need. 

You loved it but you couldn't help but long for what used to be your life sometimes. "You deserve everything. You deserve the world and more because you packed your life up just because you believed in me. This is the very least I could do for you. I will continue to show you how important you are to me and who I am. You make me better so I'm going to show you every day til I can't anymore. I love you. You work hard and you deserve to be appreciated and seen." 

That made the tears fall harder, but you looked up at Kate, and couldn't believe this was your girl. The woman you got to spend and do life with. You kissed her lips chastely, hugging her close again. You two stood there, looking at the pretty flowers and sharing some of your chocolate. 

She smiles while I do my time

It was so early in the morning. Kate waking you up for a travel day for the Aces. It was an away game to Los Angeles and you wanted to make this game so you took the days off. 

You hated getting up early, and the stress that came with traveling was truly not a great time. Kate knew it, but she loved that you were willing to do it for her.  You didn't like most things, but the look on your girlfriend's face when you watched her do the thing she loves most, play the game that gave her many of the amazing opportunities she's had, it was all worth it. 

Kate walked onto to the court, looking at you behind the Aces bench, and smiled. You already smiling right back at her. She knew that no matter how early she woke you up, or how many times she did it, you'd be there, lift her up, and cheer her on. You knew this was where you wanted to be. 

I could die for you

It was the day after Kate had won the WNBA Finals, and you two had been lying in bed since last night. You couldn't believe that she had come so far from the little girl who idolized the Iowa Hawkeyes Women's Basketball team, to a woman who's grown into the most tremendously courageous and strong woman who won her first WNBA Championship. It was so surreal. 

"You know I love you so much, right?" Kate whispered. One arm wrapped around you, pulling you close to her body, while her other hand held your thigh that lay across her hip. 

"I would hope so." You giggled softly, looking up at the blonde above you, your hand went from her chest to the side of her face, resting against her cheek. You looked into her eyes, the blue of them convincing you more by the second that they were better looking than the sky outside. 

"No, I'm serious. You are the love of my life. I would be so lost without you. I don't think I could live without you—let alone do what I've done this past year without you." Her voice wavered, you could tell her emotions still running high after the night she had last night. 

"Kate, my love." You chuckled nervously, the confession making you giddy, but also overwhelmingly more in love with Kate, if that was even possible. It brought tears to your eyes.

"You make me so happy. Just being right here, with you, is more important to me than winning another ring." 

"Oh my god Kate, stop it. You're going to make me cry. I'm so in love with you." You wiped a small tear that fell down your cheek. Kate smiled down at you, willing herself to not close her eyes and just die happy right here with you. 

"I'm so in love with you, I could die." Kate giggled softly, wiping her eyes before leaning down and kissing your lips softly. You smiled into the kiss. You smiled so hard you couldn't even kiss properly. A fit of giggles came from the both of you. 

"Ah! Kate, stop it! Oh my god, Kate!" You screamed and giggled as she left kisses and tickles everywhere she could reach, especially in your most ticklish spots. You two couldn't be anymore happier. Kate wouldn't want to be anywhere else unless you were there, under her arms or wrapped in them. 

Oh, this life I choose.

You two were just simply two girls in love and wouldn't have it any other way. 

[genderqueerdykes]

please post more about alterhumanity I love to see it!!

sure! i'll see what i can come up with off the top of my head

i told my mom numerous times throughout my childhood that i wasn't human, but i didn't for real find out i'm nonhuman until i was somewhere around 19 or so. i finally joined the furry community, and was following someone on tumblr who was talking about their dragon kintype. i started googling "otherkin" and reading about it and realized oh wait. other people are like this too?

i figured out i was an elf first. that was fairly easy, i interacted with a lot of other elves since it was a very common kintype at the time. i did trade some really cool experiences, people really had some interesting ideas on what nonhumanity was about. my best friend and roommate at the time actually knew about me being otherkin, but he wasn't really the most supportive about it. he just kinda used it as a way to wedge himself into otherkin spaces and start debates and arguments with people. so over time i stopped talking about it with him

over the years though, i've not really stopped identifying as nonhuman. because i'm plural, i have a lot of nonhuman alters, and some that are from fictional sources. i would say every 6 - 12 months or so, one of us realizes some part of their nonhumanity, or a new alter who is nonhuman shows themselves and talks about their nonhumanity.

as much as i don't like how decentralized the otherkin community has come, it's been nice to figure things out on my own. back in the 2010s, people were very strict about what "counts" as otherkin. you would be guilted into trying to figure out if you have memories of that life, what "deeper meaning" your kintypes have to you, and so on. back then, people would harass new kin and make them jump through hoops to truly identify as their nonhuman selves. it messed me up for quite a while thinking i had to have a super deep connection that takes a lifetime to uncover in order to be a "real" otherkin

i actually have been staff for/ran a few nonhuman communities over the years! i found it to be a lot of fun because it's not as serious as queer issues, and there's a lot less arguing about real world politics and whatnot. while those topics are important, sometimes you need a space free of all of that. plus a really fun part of the nonhuman community is learning about animals and fictional creatures and people you've never heard of before. there's definitely no shortage of anime recommendations in fictionkin and fictive spaces that's for sure

i actually discovered the concept of plurality through nonhuman spaces, as many nonhumans are also plural. either spiritually, due to mental health conditions, naturally or something else, there's a lot of plurals in those communities. i met my first plural friend in the otherkin community and they taught me alot about the experience that i was going through in the moment as well. it tends to be a space that's very open to the concept of plurality and it's really nice

the nonhuman types that myself and my system collectively identify with the most are definitely my canine kintypes. i am very connected to both wolves and coyotes- i actually figured out i was a coyote first, almost a decade ago! it took me a lot more years to finally confirm i'm also a wolf. i've always felt very drawn toward coyotes for one reason or another- it's an animal i look at and think "hey that's what i look like".

i do wear dog collars because i identify as a dog as well! i'm part of the pup play community, though it is nonsexual for me, i just really enjoy being able to act out being a canine creature. i actually had a dog bed for a while that i slept on, but i haven't been able to get a new one. wearing a collar can be very comforting for me. not only do i find them adorable, but it's something that feels very personally correct to me.

horses are also really important to us as well. they are an animal we've looked at and gone "that's me" as well throughout our life. we have no desire to ride horses, but we would love to care for them and be around them. hooved animals in general have always been something we've felt a personal connection to as well. we've also been questioning whether or not we identify as a cow.

i'd love to get some accessories like ears, tails, paws, etc. in the future, and honestly, i've always wanted a fursuit/fursuits. like i adore them so much. i think they're such a creative artform and i've always wanted to learn how to make them. i think they're just. so fucking cool. hopefully i can get or make one some day!

overall accepting my nonhumanity has made my life a lot easier. i generally have phantom sensations of ears, tails and paws throughout my day to day life, and i don't really feel connected to humanity on a personal level. it's tiring to pretend like i see the world through a human lens because i just do not. it doesn't negatively impact my life whatsoever. i still do things i have to do, like pay my rent and bills, work, and so on. i can live a fulfilling life while acknowledging that my mind and soul are not that of a human

if i think of anything else, i'll add it in the reblogs! thanks for this ask i enjoy talking about my nonhumanity!

[angel-dustspo]

2025 - The year of your Recovery ₊˚⊹ᰔ

2025 is the year of change, and in the first part of January everybody is extremely motivated to "glow up", "reinvent themselves" and "change their lives". I'm all for that, but I believe there is something even more important that we should focus on in 2025: recovering. Learning how to be there for yourself, appreciate your own value, know your worth and finally, how to love yourself should be a priority this year. In order to achieve all of those, you'd have to undo the damage that has been done to your brain by the eating disorder and begin your healing process.

It's an extremely brave thing to acknowledge there is a problem and to actively WANT to change it. Recovery is a hard thing and, at times, it could seem even more challanging than the disorder itself and make you wonder "why did I even begin this, there's no point, i want to give up". It's normal to have bad days too, where you feel like you can't keep going anymore, but it's very important to keep pushing yourself. Recovery isn't linear and it WILL hurt, but it's so worth it to finally enjoy that dessert, have enough energy to hang out with your friends, improve your mood, feel warm again, have the strenght to go for a walk, and to look in the mirror and be happy with the person you see, to love the way you look and to fall in love with yourself again.

✮ Here are some recovery tips that have worked for me:

ׂ╰┈➤ Inspiring youtube videos

My most important tip for any disorder, addiction or problem ever. I know I would still be in the same place the little girl 4 years ago was if I didn't discover the recovery and self improvement youtubers. This has been the most important thing in my recovery journey because it was the starting point, the switch that finally showed me the light. Watching just a few videos made me change the way I am forever. I feel like everybody trying to recover should watch and learn from other people's mistakes and their journeys.

The people I find the most helpful are:

Linda Sun (I basically owe her my life, nothing and nobody ever helped me so much as she did through her inspiring videos!!!)

zoeunlimited (she helped me with beating ana by making me understand how the metabolism actually works and how important food is - please watch the metabolism videos)

growingannanas

Coleen Christensen

LilBigNanc

Mae Alice Suzuki

ׂ╰┈➤ The Tumblr pro-recovery community

A key piece in my recovery, I wouldn't be in such a good mental state without Tumblr. It's true that it helped me beat an0rexia forever, become my best self and develop all my healthy habits. But we all know though that Tumblr can be a very toxic place for obsessive self improvement and that good health achieved by any means is glorified here, and I got myself orth0rexia from here, which I'm still struggling to recover from too. It's important to take the good stuff only and ignore any harmful media on here.

ׂ╰┈➤ Have "allowing days/meals"

My approach was to say "I allow myself to eat this". No reason needed to enjoy something you (used to) love, and I aim to feel no guilt afterwards. It doesn't work all the time, but it's a BIG step towards being able to eat anything guilt-free.

ׂ╰┈➤ Not consuming ED media

Say goodbye Tumblr th1nspo, glorifying eds on Tiktok or saving all those ana pins, all it does is ruin your progress and make you feel miresable about your own journey

ׂ╰┈➤ Changing your end-goals

My end goals changed from being skinny and pretty to being strong and healthy, and doing things towards my new goal has brought me unintentional weight loss and enhanced my features a lot. Chasing that unhealthy beauty only attracts opposite results.

ׂ╰┈➤ Thinking about your reasons for recovering

It's extremely easy to get lost. Always keep in mind your recovery reasons and reassure yourself that you will succeed. Think about what you'll be able to do, what you miss now and how you will feel if you keep going, and stay strong!!!

ׂ╰┈➤ Don't beat yourself up

We all screw up sometimes, and the important thing is to keep hoping and keep working towards our dreams. It's stupid of me to just say this continuously, but you have to never give up on recovery. Most days you will hate yourself so much and not understand what's going on or what are you doing wrong. It might be the worst thing for your mental health right now, but in a week, a month, a year, you will be so happy you started recovery and never gave up on it.

The path is not easy, but it is worth every struggle. I hope 2025 is the year when you recover and you start to love yourself. You're so brave and I'm so proud of you for trying, good luck on your journey <333

[brokebonewritings]

Be Mine, Forever?

Matt Murdock x Reader

Tags/ Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fluff, Valentine's Day Special

Summary: Your day is interrupted by an impromptu girl's day. and your night is filled with passion as Matt surprises you for Valentine's Day. You had a surprise for him as well. Song: Here (In Your Arms) - First Dance by Hellogoodbye

Word Count: 4.4K

Navigation | Series Masterlist

The day started normally enough. Of course, Valentine’s day fell on a week day this year so you were stuck at work. You sent Matt a few ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Happy Valentine's Day’ texts, but it's been radio silence from the other end. This was expected though, since he had already informed you that he was going to be in court all day. 

You sit back at your desk, you've been preparing all month for a new exhibit at The Met. The plans that spread across your desk puzzle you as you try to figure out where to place each case and art piece.

As you meticulously arrange the plans for the new exhibit, your mind can't help but wander back to Matt. The silence from him is starting to feel unusual, as he's always been the one to send you sweet messages and surprises on special occasions. But you brush it off, he's never disappointed you.

Just as you're about to finalize the placement of the last art piece, Marci rushes into your office, a mix of urgency and excitement in her eyes. "Hey!"

"How did you get in here?" You respond with a raised eyebrow. "Did my assistant let you in?"

Just as you finish your question Justin, your assistant, rushes in behind her. "I am so sorry. I tried stopping her, but she is so fast in those heels."

"Lawyer walk." Both you and Marci say in unison. 

She turns back to you with a smile plastered on her face. "I need you to come with me for the rest of the day."

"Marci, I can't just leave work in the middle of the day." You cross your arms over your chest.

"Oh yes you can, I already spoke to your boss! So come on." She grabs your coat that's by the door, along with your umbrella. "We got things to do, come on."

You sigh and thank Justin for trying, and invite him to also take the rest of the day off. Which he does happily.

"So what are we even going to do?" You ask. Grabbing your bag, and putting away your belongings.

"Well we're gonna go get ready for our Valentine's Date Nights, duh." She helps you get your coat on, and you both were off. "I just know that Foggy, and Matt are planning something special for us."

You smile at the thought. "Have you heard from Foggy today? I know they had a busy day."

"Not a word. You didn't hear it from me, but apparently their client is very demanding of their time."

"Oh shit, really?" 

You loved the gossip you got from your lawyer friends. Not that it was filled with a ton of details. Client/Lawyer confidentiality and all that.

"Mhm, Needs lots of attention to detail." She says before dragging you into a nail salon. You realize how nice this salon is after looking around. "Hey, wait, I don't think I'm gonna be able to afford this right now. Trying to save up for a new apartment with Matt, remember?"

She laughs before checking the both of you in for the appointment she had already made. "Who said you were paying? It's all on me today, hun."

"Oh my god, no way! I seriously cannot accept this."

"Too late! It's already done, you don't wanna ruin this day for me do you?" She pouts after turning back to you.

You sigh and shake your head. "Thank you, this is incredibly kind of you."

"Don't even mention it. I wanna make sure we both are dolled up!"

You're both called back after about 5 minutes. The salon was nicer than you thought. When you had both settled at the manicure station, they had offered you both a glass of champagne. Who were you not to accept a free glass?

It was truly relaxing, you were glad that Marci got you out of work early. You both spent the next two hours getting your nails prepped for a night out. Usually you don't get long nails since you work with your hands most of the time, but she insisted you get something more elegant. You couldn't refuse since she was the one paying.

Just as the nail technician finished with your right hand, your phone buzzed on the table beside you. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Matt's name flashing on the screen. You quickly picked it up and answered, not wanting it to go to voicemail.

"Hey! Happy Valentine's Day!" You chirp happily. "How is court?"

There was a brief pause before Matt's voice came through, heavy with exhaustion. "Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart." It's been chaos. I couldn't even find a moment to catch my breath."

You let out a sigh of relief, understanding his predicament. "Then I guess tonight will be a good night to cash in one of those massages I owe you, huh?"

Hearing the low rumble of his chuckle sent chills through your body. "Yeah, guess it will be." He pauses. "I was wondering if you would meet me on the roof tonight, like we used to?"

"Yeah, of course I will." You blush, it has been a while since you both sat on the roof together. "What time do you want me there?"

"8:30. There is room for you to be fashionably late, of course."

You let out a giggle. "Yeah okay, 8:30 then. I'll see you then."

"I love you." He says with a loving sigh.

"I love you too." You respond before hanging up.

"Soooooo," Marci pipes up. "Romantic Dinner?"

The blush was still tinting your face from the conversation. "Yeah, on his rooftop."

"That sounds lovely, very romantic."

As you finish up at the nail salon, Marci insists on taking you to a cafe nearby. She called it a Galentine's Brunch, just the girls. When you both arrived, you were surprised to see that Karen was able to join you. 

"I thought you were in court with Matt, and Fog?"

"Oh no, I told them I wouldn't be in today. Playing hookie." She laughed lightly. "Besides, Im not going to deny Marci a girls brunch. We need it."

As you settled into the cozy booth at the cafe, sipping on your latte, the three of you began catching up on each other's lives. Karen shared stories about her latest investigative assignment, Marci talked about her recent courtroom victories, and you filled them in on the details of the upcoming exhibit at The Met.

Marci nudges you playfully. "Have you thought about what you're going to wear?" she asks with a mischievous smile.

You shake your head, realizing that you've been so caught up in work and the surprise day off that you haven't even considered your outfit. 

"I just figured I would wear what I was wearing right now."

"You're joking." Marci says. "You have to wear something else. Not saying that what you're wearing right now isn't cute, but this is Valentine's Day."

"Yeah you gotta wear something he can undress you with" Karen chimes in with a mischievous smile. "Cause you know he'll love it if you wore something hot."

"Okay, okay. I have been saving a silk dress for a special occasion."

"Silk? I gotta see this." Marci says forcefully.

You pull out your phone and find the dressing room photo you took of the dress in question. It was a lavender colored dress with a cowl neckline. They both stare at the photo then back to you.

"Where have you been hiding that!" Karen says in disbelief.

"In the back of my closet." You respond with a laugh. "I just didn't know how to style it."

"I will simply just have to come over and help you with that." Marci states. 

"And." You pause. "There's matching lingerie."

They both squeal before you change the subject back to Marci and Foggy's plans for the evening.

You stare in the mirror at the dress you had shown Marci, and Karen earlier in the day.They had left about an hour ago to get ready for their own plans. Not without them giving your outfit their seal of approval though. 

Sitting on your bed, you pull on the heels Marci had carefully chosen. This was going to be a good night, but you didn't know why the butterflies in your stomach felt so prominent. You haven't been this nervous since you started dating Matt.

Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that there's nothing to worry about. It's just a rooftop date with the love of your life. You run a hand down the front of your dress, feeling its smooth texture against your skin.

As you do your makeup, you can't help but replay all the beautiful moments you've shared with Matt. From late-night conversations under the stars to stolen kisses on the rooftop, every memory fills you with warmth and love. Tonight is just another chapter in your story together, a celebration of your deep connection.

With your hair styled in loose waves, you stand in front of the full-length mirror and admire the final look. The dress drapes perfectly over your figure, accentuating your best features. You feel confident, more confident than you've felt in years.

You look at the clock on your nightstand, and see that it just hit 8:00. Perfect. You grab your bag and set out walking towards his apartment building.

The city is alive with the energy of Valentine's Day. Lovers walk hand in hand, their laughter and joy filling the air. As you make your way through the bustling streets, you can't help but smile. The anticipation in your heart grows with every step.

Finally, you arrive at Matt's apartment building. Taking a deep breath, you enter and climb the stairs towards the rooftop. The familiar sound of the door creaking open greets you as you step onto the familiar space that holds so many precious memories.

The sun has already set, casting a magical glow over the city skyline. The soft twinkle of lights fills the air, creating an atmosphere that feels straight out of a fairy tale. And there he is, standing near the edge of the rooftop, tall and handsome as ever.

Matt turns as he hears your footsteps approaching. A smile spreads across his face, lighting up his eyes in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. That's when you realize that you're not alone. You turn to see that your friends are there. Not only your friends but also your Aunt May and Peter.

"What is happening right now?" You say with a nervous laugh.

"Sweetheart," You hear him say and you turn back and give him your full attention. "I have been meaning to do this for a while, but I didn't know how to go about it."

"Matt, are you?" You begin before he cuts you off with a kiss.

"Ever since I met you I have been so entranced by you.You've brought so much light and love into my life, and I can't imagine a future without you by my side," Matt says, his voice filled with sincerity. He takes a step back, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a small velvet box. Opening it to reveal a dainty opal ring, he drops to one knee.

You stand there for a moment, wondering if this was actually happening or if you were have a really specific dream.

"Will you marry me?" Matt asks, his voice filled with vulnerability and love.

The world around you seems to fade away as you lock eyes with him, feeling a mixture of excitement and overwhelming joy. The weight of his question hangs in the air, and time seems to stand still.

Tears well up in your eyes as you try to find your voice. This moment feels like a dream, but the warmth in your heart tells you it's all too real. You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the question like a beautiful promise.

"Yes," you whisper, barely able to contain your joy. "Yes, Matt, I will marry you."

The rooftop erupts in cheers and he stands and slips the ring onto your finger. You glance around, realizing that they had all conspired together to create this magical moment. Aunt May wipes away a tear of happiness while Peter grins ear to ear. Marci and Karen are practically jumping up and down with excitement, their eyes shining with joy. Foggy is trying to conceal his tears by wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

Embracing Matt tightly, you feel an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. This rooftop, once a place of solace and refuge for the two of you, now holds even more significance. It symbolizes the foundation of your future together, a place where love can blossom and dreams can be realized.

Amidst the cheers and laughter, you take a moment to soak in the beauty of this milestone in your relationship. The twinkling lights of the city below seem to dance in celebration, mirroring the joy in your hearts.

"This is so epic, and I got it all on video." Peter says amidst the celebration.

As the cheers die down, Aunt May steps forward, her eyes glistening with tears. "Oh, darling" she says, her voice filled with emotion. "I couldn't be happier for you both. You deserve all the love in the world. Your father would have loved Matt."

"Thanks Aunt May." You say with a tearful smile.

As the rooftop continues to buzz with excitement and congratulations, you and Matt share a tender moment together. He pulls you into his arms, his embrace warm and comforting. You feel safe and cherished as you rest your head against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in your ears.

"I love you so much," Matt murmurs softly, his voice filled with emotion. "And I promise to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

You look up at him, your eyes filled with adoration. "I love you too, Matt," you reply, your voice filled with sincerity. "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

After the shared dinner with all of your friends and family, you all decide it's time to head home to spend the rest of Valentine's Day in the comfort of your homes.

Saying goodbye to everyone, you and Matt clean the roof top and share a few intimate moments with kisses and lingering touches.

On your way back down the stairs, you can feel Matt's presence hovering over you. So you stop for a moment and turn to see what he is doing. As you turn, you feel his hand slide up your jaw as he pushes you against the wall. You gasp as he presses himself against you, one hand around your neck and the other sitting on your waist.

"Ive been waiting all day to be alone with you." He growls into your ear before kissing you roughly.

Your heart races as his lips claim yours, a hunger and desire that electrifies your senses. The intensity of his touch against the coolness of the wall sends shivers down your spine.

His hands explore every inch of your body, igniting a fire within you that only he can quench. The urgency and longing in his kisses leave you breathless.

With each touch, each caress, the connection between you deepens. Your bodies move together in perfect harmony, driven by a love that transcends words.

As he pulls away, you feel dizzy with the intensity of his attack. "We need to get back to your apartment." You state.

"Oh do we?" He questions. "I have no problem ravishing you right here in this stairwell."

You huff, as you stare at his smirking face. "I would actually love for you to ruin this dress, but in the comfort of our bed."

"Our bed?" 

"Yes, our bed." You smirk as you push his hands away and begin to walk back to his apartment.

He follows closely behind you, his eyes never leaving your body. The desire he has for you is palpable, and it fuels you as well. As you pass each door, you can't help but imagine what would happen behind your own.

Approaching his door, you grab the keys from his hand and begin to unlock the door.

"I promise, I'll ruin that dress, right here," he whispers in your ear, causing you to shiver.

You hear the click of it unlocking as you turn to him, "Well, Mr. Devil. Ruin the dress then." you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

As the door creaks open, the sound echoes throughout the hallway, the anticipation in the air is palpable. Together, you step inside and kick the door shut behind you. He pins you against the wall, his hands roaming over your body like a man possessed.

He seems desperate to claim you, to conquer every inch of you. You're aching for him too, the want and need between you undeniable. You need his touch, his kiss, his warmth. You're completely vulnerable to him, ready to give yourself to him in every way.

His lips meet yours in a searing kiss, his hands holding your neck as your fingers dig into his shirt. You break the kiss, both of you panting heavily, your hearts pounding in sync. 

"I love you so much," you whisper, your voice shaking with emotion.

"And I love you more," Matt replies, his voice filled with warmth and devotion.

With that his hands grip the top of your dress and he pulls, ripping the dress down the front. You moan at the intensity of the moment. He really did ruin the dress.

You're left in the lingerie you had on underneath as the dress drops to the floor. He takes a moment before feeling up your sides and realizes what you have on.

"Oh you dirty girl." He groans. "You wanted this to happen tonight, didn't you?"

You smile, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. "Maybe I did"

"Well, I'm not complaining." He says slowly. "You have no idea how hard this is making me."

"I think I have some idea." You say as you lift your knee, feeling his erection already straining under the fabric of his pants.

His hand maneuvers down to pull your lingerie to the side, revealing your most intimate parts. "I'm going to make you scream, baby."

With that, he lifts you into his arms and carries you to the bedroom. The moment you step into the room, he drops you onto the bed and crawls on top of you.

"I want you so bad," he growls into your mouth. You feel his erection pressing into your thigh, and you're more than ready for him.

He breaks the kiss and starts to unbutton his shirt, you lay back watching as he undresses himself. What a sight it was, he could have been a Greek god.

Once he's stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you again, his hand traveling down your body, tracing patterns on your skin as he does. His fingers run along the edge of your underwear and you shudder at the sensation.

He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slowly pulls them down, revealing your naked body to him. He leans down and begins to kiss your inner thigh, nuzzling into the most inner part.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his thumbs brushing against your waist.

Before you can respond, his tongue swipes up against your core. You gasp at the sudden electricity of the situation. He repeats the motion, his tongue swirling around your clit in slow, steady circles. Your hips start to rise in response, your hands finding their way to his hair, pulling him closer. You arch your back, moaning softly.

Matt responds with a gentle growl, his fingers still moving against your waist, caressing your skin. He reaches down and slowly pushes two fingers inside you, drawing out a loud moan.

His other hand moves to your breast, gently squeezing and kneading it. You mewl, your body trembling with need. His tongue continues to dance around your most sensitive flesh, and you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh, Matt," you moan, "I need you inside me."

He stops his ministrations, lifting his head towards you. "Not yet," he says, standing up and helping you off the bed. "I want to make you beg for it."

He leads you over to a table by the window, bending you over it. The cool glass feels amazing against your naked skin, as you're exposed to the room with your legs spread apart.

Matt positions himself behind you after dropping his boxers. You can feel his erection pressing against your ass, precum leaking out. You know he's ready for it.

"You're going to make me come so hard," you whisper.

He rubs his tip against your entrance, teasing you, making you crave him even more. Sliding his cock between your folds. You push back against him for any sort of friction.

A loud crack echoes through the apartment. His hand lingers, massaging the area he just spanked. "You need to be a good girl for me. Or else the next one will be a lot harder. Do you understand?"

You nod, pleasure spread across your face as you lean against the table. 

"Good girl, sweetheart. Such a good listener."

Beginning to slide against you once again, you hold back every instinct to push back against him. With every teasing thrust, you feel electrified, your desire for him only growing. He knows what he's doing to you, and he loves every moment.

He slowly begins to tease your hole as you stand there whimpering. Pushing the head inside you, and quickly taking it out.

"Please, Matt, fuck me," you plead. "I can't take it anymore."

He pulls away, a devious grin on his face. "Not yet," he says, kissing the side of your face.

He picks you up, carrying you over to the bed. He lays you down, spreading your legs wide apart and kneeling between them.

"I need you to beg. Okay, sweetheart?" He says and you nod.

He slips two fingers into you, pumping and curling to find your sweet spot. You cry out in pleasure as he hits you right where it feels good. 

"Please, oh god, Matt" You moan loudly. "I'm going to come, please I need you in me."

That must have been enough for him. With a low growl, Matt plunges into you, filling you up to the hilt. He thrusts deep inside you in one swift motion, the bed frame creaking under the force of his passion.

He pulls out almost immediately, leaving you emptiness. "Please," you beg, wanting more.

He chuckles softly, teasing you by running his cockhead up and down your slit. "Patience, sweetheart. I want this to last."

He thrusts back into you, moving slowly, savoring every moment. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

The way his cock pulsed inside of you was almost too much to bear. He began to pick up the pace, each thrust harder than the last.

You let out a loud, trembling moan, your head falling back as pleasure washed over you. 

"I love you," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you too," you choke out, the emotions taking over you.

He picks up his pace, driving into you harder and faster, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. Your body responds in kind, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice breaking as your orgasm starts to build.

Matt's thumb found your sensitive clit, sending you soaring towards the edge. "Come for me, baby." he growls.

You let out a wail, your nails digging into his back as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your inner walls clenched around him, milking him as you shook uncontrollably.

He continued to thrust into you, driving you further over the edge. Your orgasm seemed to go on forever, your body writhing beneath him in pure ecstasy.

Finally, he slides out of you, leaving your inner walls quivering. He pulls you into his arms, holding you close as your heartbeats sync.

You lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of your intense lovemaking.

"My ass hurts." You after taking a deep breath. He begins to chuckle as you giggle. 

"Sorry, too much?"

"Not at all."

"Good" He says as he pulls you closer and peppers your face with kisses.

As you lay there entwined in each other's arms, your skin still flushed and sweaty, you can't help but smile. This was more than just sex; it was a powerful expression of love and intimacy.

Matt pulls away and smiles, a look of pure contentment on his face. "I just can't get enough of you." 

You giggle and wrap your arms around him, feeling safe and loved in his embrace.

"Can we talk about the fact that we're engaged now?"

"I've been planning it for the last 2 weeks with Foggy, Peter, and your Aunt May."

"There is no way that Peter kept a secret for that long. How did you even manage that."

"You can thank your aunt for that one. She basically grounded him from texting you."

This made you both laugh. "You know, I'm gonna have to get used to being called Mrs. Murdock."

A smile spreads across his face, "I'm already getting used to it."

As he pulls you in for another kiss, you can't help but feel a rush of emotion. This man. This strong, protective, and passionate man, is now your fiancé. The thought brings a smile to your face, and you wrap your arms around him even tighter.

"I can't wait to see what the future holds for us," you whisper.

He pulls away slightly, a gentle smile on his face. "The future is ours, my love. And I promise to love and cherish you, always."

"Though I do have one complaint."

"And what is that?" He raises an eyebrow.

"You never asked me to be your valentine."

Chuckling, he pulls your hips closer before whispering in your ear. "Be Mine, Forever?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

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[iamqueenpotato]

I Hate That I Love You - Part Seven

A/N-  Hi guys! Surprisingly I wrote this one way quicker than I thought. I hope you guys enjoy! It is also very late where I'm at so if there are some errors, I tried my best to proof read it but there may be some things I missed. I appreciate all the support you guys have given me! Love you!

Word Count: 2.6k 

Warnings: Angst(But like what's new lol) 

Part One Part Eight

It had been three days.

Three days since Azriel spoke to you, three days since he finally told you how he felt, but even though your reaction was justified, it still hurt him. The disappointment on your face was burned into his mind, his shadows kept whispering your name, your moans a constant echo in his thoughts. 

He knew he made a mistake when he chose Elain, but a friend is all he thought you saw him as. He tried to move on with her. You never once showed any interest, but that day you admitted those feelings he saw how wrong he was. And by the time the truth came forward he was stuck in a place that he could not easily break free from. 

You were-are his best friend, even if you didn't think so, he still saw you as that. But who knew the two of you shared the same fears of ruining the relationship you had. He hated that he was so blind to your affections. 

Azriel should have noticed sooner, he should have taken that risk and told you long ago how he felt about you. But he was a fool and let his fears stand in the way of what could have been. And he made you feel unimportant, neglected. Something he could never forgive himself for, he should have paid more attention to you. 

The situation he currently was in was all his fault. When you had left the first time he was devastated, not only for the fact that he had lost his best friend, but that you had reciprocated those feelings Azriel thought to never had existed. He should have confessed then and there, he should of begged more to keep you from leaving, he should have never chose Elain over you, it wasn’t fair to either of you with the mistakes he had made. He should have tried harder to fight for what he wanted. 

And the more he thought about it, the more he realized Elain and him did not fit together. She was sweet and caring, and she meant well but he never felt as though he could tell her everything, as though he could never be transparent about the things he goes through. At the end of the day it only seemed she was a body to keep his bed warm, and he felt terrible to even think of her in such a way.

But with you it was different. Elain would always cower away and be visibly disturbed when he would explain the things he had done for his missions, Always claiming how maybe he shouldn’t do such things anymore, then perhaps it wouldn't be an issue. And maybe she was right, but it never made him feel better. He knew the things he had done were graphic, he knew the horrid things he’d put others through for information, and at the end of the day all he wanted was someone to talk to about it, Elain could never be that person. 

But you always have been.

He vividly remembers the first time coming to your room after a mission that had put more blood on his hands. It wasn’t the torture or killing that bothered him, it was the feeling afterwards that broke him, the hollowness he felt, the disappointment that he experienced that never went away. One night it swallowed him, he was in his room, washing away the blood of a few males he was instructed to interrogate when the feelings crept on him like a dark fog, he couldn’t breathe, only able to stare at his blood stained hands, he felt like a monster. He knew those men deserved it and he found their deaths to be satisfying. But maybe that made him more of a horror than he could ever imagine. 

He made it to your room in the midst of his panic attack, pounding on the door still in his leathers, blood all over him. And when you opened the door, you did not look at him with anger or disgust. He must’ve woken you that night, based on the tiredness in your eyes and the mess your hair was in, but you didn’t yell at him nor push him out. Instead you brought him in, he didn’t even have to say a word for you to understand what he needed. You brought him into your bathroom, wiping the blood off his hands, his face, out of his hair. You were so gentle when it came to him, it was something he never experienced before. You ran a bath for him, telling him to finish up and you would be waiting outside. And when he came out he found you sitting in front of the fire, two cups of tea in front of you, he sat on the opposite side of the couch tentatively grabbing the tea from your hands. And then he talked about everything. Every last gory detail of his kills, the pain he felt inside. You did not flinch, nor did you tell him to stop because you were disturbed, you sat and listened, holding his hand the entire time. The hands that brought so much death, but you held on to them so tightly that he wanted you to never let go. He could live in that moment, his fingers interlaced with yours if that meant you would never leave his side. You never once criticized his choices. He didn’t feel alone for the first time in his life. And he never felt alone knowing he had you. 

It was a memory that he had cherished. He had many fond memories of you, but that one always stood out to him. And now looking back, that was the start of his love for you.

Azriel didn’t realize he was crying as he watched the memory playback in his mind until he was brought back to reality as the clock in his room struck at the new hour. He didn’t bother wiping his tears away, he let them fall, he let his pain show.

He and Elain are to be wed in a little over an hour. But deep down he knew he couldn’t go through with it. He tried to end it, but between being sent on last minute missions and Elain celebrating with her friends and sisters, he never found the chance to speak to her about it. He needed more time, he needed a chance to sit alone with his thoughts, he did not want this wedding he knew that as much, but it wasn’t an easy thing to just end. 

You were a sensitive topic to bring up around Elain, he never knew why, since he had never once mentioned his feelings to anyone but each time he spoke his emotions about missing you, she would become aggravated and want to change the subject, or climb on top of him to distract him. How was he supposed to claim the reason he can’t be with her was because of you? He didn't want to hurt her either but to fix what he had broken it was a choice he would have to make. Because he has never loved someone as much as he loves you. 

He was sitting alone in front of the windows as his body shook with sobs. He felt so stupid, so naïve to have made such mistakes. He had something amazing in front of him the entire time, and he fucked it all up. 

There was a knock at the door, his shadows alerting him of his brother standing on the other side. “What do you want, Rhys?” Azriel called out, wiping away the tears from his cheeks. But Rhys let himself into his room, not saying a word until he sat down next to him. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for your wedding?” Rhys asked, wiping away lint from his jacket. 

“I am not going through with it.” Azriel spoke silently. 

“Good.” Rhys stated, and Azriel looked at him confused, Rhys continued. “You know I will support you through it all Azriel, but your choices have been quite questionable lately. I know you mean well with Elain, but she is not the one for you brother. She never was.” 

“I know that now. I think I’ve always known. It just took some time to see the truth.” Azriel leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palm. 

“So what are you going to do about it then?” 

“I have to find Elain, tell her the truth. Then hopefully Y/N will have the heart to forgive me one day.” Azriel stared up at the ceiling, attempting to keep his tears at bay. His only goal was to gain your forgiveness. He couldn’t even begin to fathom the thought of you rejecting the bond. 

��Well it is quite the day to do so, quite dramatic if I may point out.” Rhys gave a lighthearted chuckle, before leaning forward on his legs. 

“I wanted to do it earlier but I hadn’t found the time.” 

Rhys nodded, a silence falling between them before he spoke again. "I won’t lie, I enjoyed seeing you feel only part of what Y/N has felt for the last couple years.” 

“Years? Fuck.” Azriel pondered the reality of it, years you had felt something for him when he had never noticed, he had made you feel such pain for so long, he didn’t deserve another chance with you, he didn’t deserve you at all. You were this light to him, and the darkness of his mistakes suffocated it. “Rhys, how do I take back what I have done? How do I make Y/N believe she is the one I want.” Even if it took years or even decades he would spend his entire life trying to make it up to you. 

“Well first I believe you need to end an engagement to my sister-in-law. After that, I believe that is a conversation you need to have with your mate. And pray she gives you another chance.”

Azriel knew those things, but there was still one question sitting on the tip of his tongue. “Where did you send her, Rhys?” Azriel fidgeted with the loose string of fabric on the arm rest. 

“Do you promise not to interfere?” Rhys questioned and Azriel nodded. “I sent her back to Windhaven.” 

Azriel shot out of his chair. “Windhaven!” He paced back and forth in his room, “With no escort? No protection?” 

“You of all people should know Y/N can handle herself brother.” Rhys did not look bothered, and Azriel knew the skills you possessed but if something went wrong and you got hurt, he would never forgive himself. He began walking to the door but Rhys’s voice stopped him. “Where are you headed?” 

Azriel didn’t bother to look back at his brother. “I will not interfere, I just need to make sure she is safe.” He opened the door but was immediately greeted by Elain and her sisters. “Elain. Hi.” Azriel forced out, his voice quiet and hoarse. 

“We are supposed to be getting married soon, what are you doing sulking around?” Elain bit out, her sister's eyes going wide at the sudden volume of her tone. Azriel sighed. “Is this because of that whore?” 

“What?” Azriel looked down at her, anger flashing in his eyes. “What did you just say?” 

“Y/N, is this because of her? You heard me correctly.” Elain crossed her arms in front of her chest, with no remorse for her words. 

“Elain.” Nesta snapped, but her sister ignored her. 

“Were you going to never share the fact that you kissed her or that you wanted to fuck her? Was that information supposed to be a secret?” Elain continued on, and the anger only grew within Azriel, how dare she speak of you in such a way. She had no right to call you such slurs. “We were better off when she wasn’t around. She put a damper on our relationship, we were much happier when she ran off the first time, she should have stayed away.” 

“Enough!” Azriel snapped, and Elain stumbled backwards, shocked to see him react in such a way. “You do not speak of her that way, Elain. Y/N did not do anything to impede on our relationship, I was the one that kissed her. Me. She was the one who thought it wasn’t right. Do not spread such lies about her. Now if you don’t mind I need to be on my way.” He pushed past Elain. Nesta and Feyre moved out of his way as he stepped into the hallway, moving further away from his room. 

“Do not take another step, Azriel, or the wedding is off.” Elain yelled down the hall. As if were a threat, as if he would continue his life with her after the things she had said. 

“Call it off Elain.” He knew what he wanted, and it wasn’t something that involved her anymore. And the one thing he thought would be hard to confront, fell off his tongue with such ease.

“How dare you? After all that we have been through? You would end that for her?” Elain stormed toward him down the hall, he did not move, he would stand his ground, for you and for himself. 

“Yes.” He eyed down Elain, shock and hurt across her features. “I have loved her for years Elain, and I thought I lost her when she left, that I would never have a chance to ask for forgiveness and I am sorry I led you on, I am sorry I let it get this far. But she is my purpose, she is the one that holds my heart. So throw your worst at me Elain, scream, curse, hit me for all I care but know nothing is stronger than the love I have for her, my soul yearns for her. Nothing will ever change that. I should have never hidden my feelings for her. I made a mistake and I am truly sorry that it has affected you so, but Y/N is my best friend, my other half and I should have never put her second.” It felt like such a relief to say those words out loud, to finally let the truth free. 

“I saw this coming. I knew you would choose her.” She spoke loudly, as if she had always doubted him from the start.

“Then why are you shocked?” He spoke coldly, not afraid of the consequences anymore.

“You bastard.” Elain cursed, raising her hand to slap Azriel across the face, and he stood there, ready to accept it, she could hit him all she would like, but he would not change his mind. 

Suddenly a sharp pain flowed throughout his body, like he was just thrown across the room, as if his body was being dragged along sharp rocks. Azriel collapsed onto his knees, bracing himself with his arms as the agony came and went like a gust of wind. 

He felt like someone was screaming in his mind, calling out for help, reaching for him, and that thread tugged within his chest, fear and pain rushing down the bond. “Y/N.” He choked out, panic lacing his voice. He was gasping for air, clutching his chest with one hand while the other kept him from collapsing. 

“Azriel what is going on, what just happened?” He felt Feyre’s hand on his shoulder. Noticing the small crowd that formed around him.

He looked up toward his high lady, his breathing still rapid. His shadows circled around him, whispering horrid things in his ear. Mate. Hurt. Panic. Injured. Trapped. “Something’s wrong, terribly wrong.” He pulled at the bond, but there was no response, just emptiness. “Y/N is in trouble.” His heart began racing, fear filling his thoughts. 

He didn’t wait for a response before disappearing into his shadows, heading directly for Windhaven.

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[bookishtheaterlover7]

a/n: Hello, my fabulous Readers! It's been a hot second since I last wrote a fic. And I can honestly say, that I've been distracted by the whole Chris Drama and Fiasco. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been writing fics. I actually have a few lined up, that are definite WIPs, so stay tuned. In the meantime, I hope y'all will enjoy this fic.

Which I'm happy to dedicate to @cutedisneygrl, Happiest Birthday to you, girl! Thank you for always lending an ear, and also happily sharing your fics with us. You're awesome, and I hope you enjoy this fic. Sorry if it's a little late.

And to @royalwriteroftheuniverse, for being one of the best friends, I could ask for on here. You're one of the best, and honestly, you both deserve the best. ❤❤❤❤❤

Yes, this will be a thing now. Some of my fics will be dedicated to my friends, family, or even the fans like me, who are writing this. 😆🥺 So, without further ado, enjoy this fic. Hopefully it isn't too cringey.

Steve Rogers x civilian!Reader

Requested: Yes

WARNINGS: None really... No mention of Y/n, Steve is a big softie, Y/n is kind of sad for most of the fic, food(?), feelings of loneliness...

Enjoy!

I'm using this gif, because it's the one with my most favorite button-up, that Steve wears in the entire MCU. Feel free to comment what's your most favorite Steve casual wear in the entire MCU.

*Y/F/C/D = Your Favorite Cold Drink

The clock continued to tic the hours away, as you laid on your bed. Trying to will it to move faster, and end the long day. Time always seemed slow during the tough days. Even longer lately, what with Steve being out on seemingly endless weeks of missions.

You really couldn’t complain, considering that that is his job. And it was all for the good of the future. Your future, together. Steve has been open about building a safe and happy future. And being able to secure it, one bad guy at a time.

You chuckle at the thought. Remembering the night Steve said those very words to you...

You had called an hour before, needing to vent. Your work day was one of the worst you’ve had in a while, and Steve, hearing the frustration, and weariness in your voice, took it upon himself to try and make it better. He arranged the pillows to frame your bed, pulled the curtains closed, put the lamp on its dimmest setting, grabbed the comfiest blankets, and made a little love nest for you two love birds.

He nervously looked over every little detail. Fluffing up the pillows, smoothing down the bed sheets, pulling at the curtains, double and triple checking everything. Luckily, you announcing your arrival, broke his intense focus.

Steve rushed off. Tripping and stumbling on his own feet, regaining balance, and taking another look around, before stumbling once more, and finally hopping down to you. Not that you were having any of it. Immediately assuming that Steve had prepared something romantically sexy. Which, in Steve’s opinion, was sweet but nothing romantically sexy about his plans.

But at Steve’s insistence, and puppy dog eyes, you were, albeit begrudgingly on your part, lead upstairs to your converted room.

“You sounded so sad on the phone earlier, I wanted to do something special. Try and make your day a little bit better.”

You smiled as tears slowly filled your eyes. Jumping into Steve’s arms, as he picks you up, and puts you on the bed, to rid you of your work clothes. Slipping you into your favorite button-up of his.

You’d stay in the love nest for hours. Snuggled into the love of your life, except for the few times, he’d get up to get food and water. Insisting that he should get them, not wanting you to get up and leave your little bubble.

Few minutes into your meal of a shared bowl of chocolate covered fruits, Steve’s phone rang. Causing him to step out, to answer it. Not coming back until a few minutes later. His expression crestfallen, but trying his best to keep up a mask of happiness so as to not drag your already down mood. Ofcouse,you knew him well.

“They’re calling you away on another mission?” You asked, after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes. But it’s a necessary evil, if I want to build our future.” Steve sighed, giving you a weary smile.

“And I do want to build it, one bad guy at a time.” He continued, taking both of your hands in his.

“Are you proposing to me right now, Rogers?” You laughed.

“Believe me, Doll. When I propose, you’ll know...” Steve smiled.

“Well, until then, I’ll take a few of your shirts. But even after you ask, you might never get them back.” You declared teasingly, grabbing a strawberry and running off, as Steve gave chase.

You sigh and get up out of bed, deciding to go down to your living room to watch a rom-com with your over-sized stuffed bear. But not before grabbing your favorite button-up shirt, that Steve left at the foot of your bed just before he drove off to the compound for his mission, a few days ago. You pressed it to your nose, inhaling the comforting scent of aftershave and wood, something that was uniquely Steve. And changed into it, buttoning up most of it, and leaving some undone.

You made your way down the stairs and into your kitchen, grabbing some leftovers stored in tupperwares, in your fridge, and preparing to heat them in your microwave. You stepped into your living room, turning on the TV. and arranging the throw pillows, blanket, and your bear, so that your couch has prime comfiness, all before the microwave dinged to signal that your dinner is warm.

You quickly grabbed it, utensils, and Y/F/C/D from the kitchen, carefully carrying them in your arms, and using your elbow to turn off the light in your kitchen. Leaving your living room lamp, and your TV as your only remaining light source. Creating some sort of ambiance that allowed for optimal comfort once you wrapped your shoulders in your blanket, placed your bear on your lap, and pressed play on your movie, before grabbing your food and settling in for the night.

A few hours later, the roar of a Harley can be heard in the distance. A bit toned down, due to Steve knowing that most, if not all of the residents of his neighborhood were soundly and safely tucked in their beds.

The mission was shorter than expected, and for that he silently thanked God. Because he was able to come home to the woman he loved sooner than anticipated, and will be able to surprise her with the best gift he could ever give her. Him.

He shut off the engine, as soon as he arrived and parked on the driveway. Removing his helmet, grabbing his things that he had strapped to the back of his motorcycle, and grabbing his keys to unlock the front door.

The first thing he noticed was the TV was on (hard not to when he noticed the dim glow coming from the living room). The one thing he didn’t expect as he was reaching for the remote was the sight of you holding your bear, the very over-sized bear that he had won for you at the Fair last month, close to you, one of your cozy blankets draped over your shoulders, and the collar of his button-up peaking from under the blanket.

He chuckled at the adorable sight, but sighed softly. Knowing you well enough, that you had a rough day, just by needing any semblance of him near, and needing every aspect of your cozy cocoon in order to feel better. He knew what was needed, and it was something he definitely needed for himself too.

And so, he put his bag and shield down to the side of the recliner to the right of the TV, out of the way, so that none of you would trip on it the next morning. Removed his leather jacket, and placed it on the arm of the couch by your feet, before kneeling down by you, to get on the proper position to be able to pick you up, and carry you bridal style. Hopefully without fully rousing you from your sleep.

You were half awake as Steve slowly made his way up the stairs, to your shared room. The blanket still wrapped around your body, essentially wrapping you up in a burrito. You felt the need to find more warmth and comfort from the solid wall of muscle that you were resting against. And so snuggled needily into it, much to Steve’s amusement.

And that is why he decided to remove his shoes, before going into bed with you a minute later. Not wanting you to spend even a minute without your human teddy bear. He could change and take a shower in the morning, he just knew you both needed the other near.

“I’ve got you, Doll... And I’m not going anywhere...”

a/n: Hope y'all enjoyed it. I'm kind of nervous uploading this, and I'm also worried that it's cringey. Love y'all, Bookies! Stay sane, especially with things coming up in the Fandom soon.

Steve Rogers Masterlist

Chris Evans Characters Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[luza-wayne]

diversion.

oikawa tooru x reader

wc: 1.5k

a/n: sorry but i wrote this few years back. i don't know about this one

ever since childhood, your hobby has always been reading books and stories. there's a certain joy that you're feeling every time you read and imagine the scenarios. it makes your heart flutter.

that's also the reason why you're always in your school's library, piles of books all around you, waiting for them to be read or be returned to their shelves.

but now, you realize that reading books isn't the only thing that can make your heart flutter.

you've heard of them multiple times in your class, the hot guys from the volleyball team and most of them are from the third year, the same as you.

but the most popular one is their captain. the one with the most fangirls.

you never thought that you'd fall for the brunette, noting that you've never fallen in love before.

he once visited the library and there you found him, elegantly flipping the pages while wearing glasses and his face resting on his face.

looking at him made you nervous, causing the books you're holding to fall and cause a sound. he immediately lifts his eyes to you.

“sorry.” you sheepishly apologized.

“hehe, it's fine, (y/n)-chan.” he smiled widely at you. him saying your name surprised you.

“you know me?” you asked him with wide eyes. he nodded.

“mhm. i always see you whenever i go here to borrow some books, so i asked around for your name.” he answered beaming.

“ah.” you replied shortly, you tried to go back to reading, but his stare and the silence is killing you.

“u-um, why are you here at the library today?” you tried to start the conversation.

he raised his eyebrows before awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“well, i'm just trying to get my mind off of some things.” he said.

some things? ah, those rumours... 

“did your girlfriend dump you?” you asked him forwardly.

he was taken aback and blinked multiple times, when you realized what you just said, you immediately put a hand on your mouth and bowed repeatedly at him.

“i'm sorry! i'm sorry! i didn't mean to say it like that! i'm sorry for being nosey!” you apologized to him, while making sure that you don't bother the other students.

“no, it's fine, it's fine. i didn't expect that you’re interested in other people’s lives.” he said. “but, you're right. i was trying to forget about the breakup and maybe move on too.” 

you saw his pained expression and it somehow pained you too. so, you stood up and took his hand to yours.

“don't worry! i'm sure you'd be able to do it! i know you're amazing! so, don't give up!” you energetically stated, that surprised him.

“t-thank—” 

“sorry to break the moment, but can you please tone it down a bit? we're in a library.” you both jumped slightly when the librarian came out of nowhere.

you both apologized and then chuckled to yourselves when the librarian left.

since then, every time you come to the library, you will see oikawa already seated and waiting for you, whenever he doesn't have practice.

he'd always ask for your recommendations of what book to read next and it made you happy because he really read every single one of your suggestions.

it makes you always look forward whenever you'll walk your way to the place, and see the person who your heart beats for.

but there's this thought that keeps you from confessing.

what if the time where he finally moved on from his previous girlfriend comes?

will he stop coming to the library anymore?

will he stop talking to me already? 

every time these thoughts run through your head, you just find yourself pivoting your feet back to your classroom and just stay there in your free time.

“what's wrong with (y/n)? she never comes to the library these days.” your friend said to your other friend, while they looked at you slumped on your desk looking nowhere.

“who knows? she's usually very excited when the break comes and now—” 

“kyahhh!!” 

the conversation between your friends was cut off when they heard the squeals coming from the door.

they looked at it and saw oikawa wandering his eyes, obviously searching for someone.

“oikawa, who are you searching for?” one girl asks.

“(y/n).” he shortly answered, not sparing a glance at the girl and focused on searching.

your two friends looked at each other with wide eyes, before they walked to you and shook your body.

“ugh. what?” you groaned. they didn't answer you and just continued to shake you.

“what is i—” you raised your head to look at them, only to see them looking at someone at the door.

you widened your eyes and stood up panicky.

“o-oikawa?!” you muttered that immediately got the setter's attention.

his face straightaway flashed a sweet smile as he waved to you, not minding the other girls that wanted to take a picture with him.

“(y/n)-cha—” he didn't finish speaking when you pulled him by his arms and took him to a corner where it's rarely visited by students.

“aw, that hurts, (y/n)-chan.” he whined holding his arms while pouting.

“sorry!” you tried to check his hand and leaned forward, only to be flicked lightly on the forehead.

you confusedly looked up at him, while touching your forehead and saw him giving you a closed-eye smile.

“just kidding!” he said.

“eh?” 

“(y/n)-chan, i didn't know you were so mean.” he huffed and crossed his arms. you furrowed your brows asking him what he meant.

“i’m waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for (y/n)-chan to appear at the library, but i'm always disappointed because you never arrived.” he pouted even more and looked the other way.

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers.

“i'm just trying to lessen the anguish.” you whispered, but he heard it clearly.

“why? are you sick?” he asked worriedly. you shook your head sideways, which made oikawa breathe in relief.

“then, why—”

“once you finally move on, you won't visit the library anymore, since you don't need to distract your mind anymore!” you shouted, finally deciding to tell him the truth after all this time.

you bite your lower lip, scared of what his reply will be.

“but, i already moved on a long time ago.” he calmly said. you peered up at him, surprised by his confession.

you examined his face and noticed how serious he is, which made you even more confused.

“huh? you did?” you asked and he nodded.

“then why do you keep on going to the library?” you asked him, seeking an answer.

he was surprised by your straightforwardness, it’s making his cheeks red.

“what's wrong with wanting to visit the girl i learned to like? also, she's always there, of course, i'll go there.” he explained.

the girl he loved that's always in the library? 

you let out a gasp and oikawa smiled at you, thinking you already deduced it.

“the librarian?!” you said and put a hand on your mouth.

“wrong! not her! she's already married, in the first place!” he denied.

oikawa sighed heavily, before putting his hands on your shoulders.

“(y/n)... i'm talking about you. the girl i learned to like by just spending my time with her.” he stared into your eyes and you felt like you should stare back at him.

“at first, i thought that it's because of the story that keeps me wanting to read and read, but when i tried to read by myself, my mind kept wandering to you. i was able to move on without problem unconsciously because you always occupy my head and that's when i realized that i’m starting to like the most beautiful bookworm i've ever seen.” he narrated, looking at you affectionately.

you felt your eyes water, but oikawa quickly wiped it, before it fell on your cheeks. he kissed your forehead and pulled you into his arms. 

you hugged him back tightly while thinking how stupid you were to avoid him.

“why didn't you tell me?” you asked him, still hugging him.

“i was about to, but then i realized, what if you won't accept me? i know i'm a shitty person sometimes and that you deserve the best.” he muttered and nuzzled his nose on your shoulder.

“that's why i tried to read every book you've read so that we can have something to talk about, every time we meet, while i try to make myself better for you, but then you suddenly stopped showing up, i got scared that i did something that annoyed you or that you don't want to read books with me anymore.” he admitted.

“so, that's why you suddenly appeared in my classroom. and you're not shitty.” you said chuckling lightly. “sorry for avoiding you out of nowhere.” you said, but he said that it's fine.

he disconnected the hug and looked at you.

“(y/n), i'm going to take my chance right now. would you be my girlfriend?” he asked while looking at you worriedly.

you placed your hand on his cheeks and he quickly held it, caressing it softly.

“i'll gladly be your girlfriend anytime. you're the only one who made my heart flutter, except for books.” you accepted.

he pouted a bit, before placing another kiss on your forehead.

“i guess, i have to do my best to make your heart go crazy, now that i'm competing with an inanimate object for your attention.” he joked before pulling you for another hug.

hope you enjoyed that one, because i did. reblogs would be much appreciated!

if you'd like to support me and my broke ass, you can tip me at my ko-fi acc! thank you very much!

also, if you'd like to see my nsfw works and early access, i opened up my patreon. hope you support me.

[peachymilkandcream]

Too Pretty To Be Free|Levi x Evelyn AU

Request:

(A/N: This has also been in my inbox for a really long time, I know. Again like I said, getting into requests has been slow going but I have a free moment so I'm sitting down and doing some writing! You guys are more than welcome to request things, but it might take me more time than normal to fulfill them. Sorry about all that, but I hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!)

WARNINGS: implied noncon, implied dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, power imbalance, forced orgasm, etc.

================================================

The Scouts was a mess of stupid brats who decided they wanted to play soldier. Levi had never wanted to join such a group of snotty children who pretended like they could make a difference in this world. What difference could they make out there beyond the walls? Their own people were suffering and starving within, people they turned a blind eye to on the daily and pretended like they didn't exist.

He hated all of them. They all could rot in the deepest pits of hell, they had taken his family from him, all because they were too weak to defend themselves. Isabel and Furlan had died so that another one of these silver spooned bastards could breathe the fresh air that his dearest friends weren't privileged enough to enjoy. All because they had dared to be born as less than, as not the elite. It made him sick.

What made matters worse was the little shit sitting beside him that he had been lumped into the same squad as. He knew her name, but didn't care to learn much more about her. From Mitras, what more could she be other than some pretty face and useless brain? She was talking his ear off about how she had given up her natural use to become some pretend soldier, for "the good of humanity". Good of humanity, what more that was than just some bitch who would either die or spread her legs to the top.

Although the thought of that pissed him off. Perhaps it was because he couldn't stand sluts, riddled with disease and the weakness of men. He was no such weak man.

================================================

Weeks turned into months, the ache of his family's death lessening day by day. The more he was around that girl, surprisingly the better he felt. Perhaps all Levi needed was to be able to provide for and care for someone. Even if it was a little brat like her.

What could he say? He was always a softie, it was something that very few people saw, only those he deemed worthy of his good graces, and if Evelyn continued to smile at him like that, then she would get his good graces.

"Did you see that girl? Kind of cute. She seems like the easy type, one who will do just about anything for a good time."

Whenever he heard words like that it left him enraged and covered in blood. He wrote it all off as just being an avenger to the weak, that's how it was with Isabel and Furlan, and he perhaps he just saw them in Evelyn, so it fueled his desire to protect her. That was it, he wasn't like other weak men who faltered to the charms of women. While he certainly believed she could have been more grateful with his protection and sucked his cock in thank you for all the hard work he was going through to make sure she had a peaceful rest.

But that would come in time.

================================================

"I appreciate all that you've done for me Levi, but is this really necessary?"

Levi sighed, setting down his stack of papers and staring at the girl at his feet, why did all women have to question him at every turn? He was Captain now, finally he could make his move, and the little cunt was eating it up.

"I told you this already, you've been sitting here for a long time acting all high and proud under my dutiful protection. All the efforts, the countless hours I've spent watching over you to make sure these shitfaced bastards stay far away from you so that you can rest your pretty little head on your pillow at night without a care in the world. The least you can do is show a little bit of gratitude."

She furrows her brows, looking at the protruding flesh dangling in front of her face.

"Get on with it, I don't have all day for you to be a coward."

================================================

"A discharge, really?" Erwin looked up from the forms on his desk, waiting for his seal to Levi.

The Captain tapped his cigarette, the ashes landing on Erwin's desk. The Commander wipes away the ashes, the grey soot smearing across the wood.

"It's necessary. She's in no condition to be a soldier at this point."

"And why is that? She's young, healthy, we need all the able bodies we can on the battlefield to join humanity's fight."

Levi sighs out a cloud of smoke. "Remind me again Commander what the conditions for an honorable discharge is?"

Erwin rolled his eyes, the question rather stupid. "Significant injury, blindness, deafness, severe illness, pregnancy-" He stops, staring up at Levi with a cold glare. "You little bastard."

He smirks. "I'm offended that you think I'm the father."

Erwin raises a brow. "Is it not?"

His smile widens, and he offers a nonchalant shrug.

The Commander sighs, picking up his pen and signing the discharge. "Promise me that you won't do this again, I can't keep losing able bodied soldiers because you need your cock wet."

Levi snatches the orders out of his hand, letting the insult go this time. "I assure you, it won't. I think I've found the one I want, and I doubt I'll tire of her for a long time." He salutes and turns from his Commander, his boots clicking on the wood floor.

[birds--daily]

welcome to birds daily!!

this is my blog where i draw a bird every single day! the idea was completely ripped off from one of my best friends of all time, @fish-daily !! please go check him out :0)

my name is sunny and i'm a wildlife biology major and art minor from michigan. i'm 21 years old and i use they/them pronouns!

i'm here because i love birds so much, and i'm assuming if you're following then you do too!!

IMPORTANT INFO BELOW!!

what to know before you request

please check if i've drawn a bird before you request it! if you don't want to scroll through everything, all my birds are tagged by order. don't know the order of your bird? look it up! the IOC world bird list has a great resource for this.

i tag them by name, but some birds have multiple common names.

i also have a spreadsheet of every bird i've done so far! but i can definitely see myself forgetting to update this, so it's best to double check.

any avian dinosaur archaeopteryx-and-beyond can be requested! many ornithologists consider avialae to be the cutoff for "modern" birds.

i can't guarantee full-accuracy of prehistoric birds as i'm not very well-versed in paleontology.

please keep asks to only one bird! feel free to send multiple asks though. if you include multiple birds in an ask i'll just pick one. when i answer the ask to post it, the other birds will be gone forever...

i will prioritize requests in the order i received them in, but a couple times a week i might draw a personal pick instead.

not accepting duplicate birds doesn't mean you can't request a different version of the same bird, which leads me to…

sexual dimorphism and seasonal plumage!

yes! you can request different plumages and sexes of a bird i've already done! want to see a female ruddy duck? of course! want the breeding plumage of the willow ptarmigan? absolutely!

i have sex, maturity, and plumage recorded on my spreadsheet, but i'm bound to make some mistakes on there. once again, double-checking my blog is your best bet to getting accurate bird info!

if you don't specify anything, i'm going to assume the basic mature male with breeding plumage that you come to expect from a bird.

breeding and non-breeding plumage can also be called summer and winter plumage. some birds also have special names for their plumage forms. just to keep things consistent i'll be referring to it as breeding and non-breeding!

final notes

my main blog is @eggpathy if you're interested in any of my other art! i forget to post there a lot. most of my art is on my twitter under the same name (trying to move here though)

i'm a full-time college student with a job, so some days i won't be able to get a bird out. sometimes i might even have to take a few days to a week off just to keep my sanity. this doesn't mean i'm not having fun and enjoying drawing birds! it just means i'm busy and maybe need time for other things

i'm also still human. this means i WILL MAKE MISTAKES! i have not finished my degree yet and i'm still learning! one of the big reasons i made this account was to help myself learn my birds! i take extra time out of my day to find facts to post with my birds, and sometimes those are wrong. if you see me post misinfo, please kindly correct me with a comment, dm, or tag!

any post that isn't a daily bird will be tagged #not birds. any post that is a daily bird will be tagged #birds.

please feel free to add extra fun facts, info, and generally any other silly comment in the tags. i love reading them and they make my day!

asks don't have to be request-related! feel free to ask me anything :0)

thanks for reading! peent!

[bangtansocean]

Roommate's Prohibited List: Eight

Content Table: 01 l 02 l 03 l 04 l 05 l 06 l 07 l 08

“You okay? You’ve been zoning out all day.” Monica asks as you both walk out of the main university building towards the parking lot. 

You humm in reply, walking at a fast pace while staring at the trees, not really able to process what happened a few days ago. 

You want to tell Monica, but you are unsure of what to say because…it was just a kiss. 

Soobin hasn’t texted you, or called, or been in the apartment ever since. 

It's been days since you last saw him, and you know that telling Monica about it right now is not a good idea because she’s going to start asking questions that you don’t have answers to, and that’s going to irritate you even more. 

“Yeah, I’m just tired.  haven’t adjusted to the new schedule yet.” You sigh in reply before turning to your friend once you reach her car.

“Fair enough,” She opens her car door and settles in the driving seat, “you want a ride home?” She asks as she rolls down her window. 

You hesitate for a minute before shaking your head. “It's alright, I’m going to the cafe before going home, I’m craving something sweet.” You tilt your head towards the campus cafe, which is right in between your house and your faculty building.  

“Alrighty then, I’ll see you tomorrow love!” Monica greets you before rolling her window back up, the music blasting through as soon as she starts the car. 

You wave her goodbye as you watch her drive away, taking a deep breath as she disappears into the early sunset. 

“What am I doing?” you whisper to yourself, shaking your head. 

You are not sure why you are so irritated by this whole situation, and obviously the amount of projects you have due this weekend are not helping. 

You walk mindlessly through campus until you reach the cafe, walking in as you check your phone for any notifications, but nothing. 

“One matcha with oat milk please,” You smile at the barista before paying, thanking him with a nod. 

You wait in the corner for your order to be called, scrolling through your instagram before you feel someone tap you on the shoulder. 

“I'm sorry, you are y/n, right?” An angelic voice calls from behind you. You turn around and to your surprise, it was the guy you matched a few days ago on that dating app. 

“Oh, wow, tae right?” You smile when he nods with an even brighter smile. “What a coincidence”

“Yeah, it truly is!” He giggles nervously, “I’m sorry I never answered, I lost my phone.” His cheeks turn a light pink as he looks down embarrassed. 

“That’s okay, don’t worry.” You tell him, feeling giddy at the fact that he not only recognised you, but because he did plan on replying to you and he did not leave you on seen on purpose. 

Coffee for y/n! 

You grab your coffee and continue having small talk with Taehyun as he waits for his coffee. You both end up walking out together, as he is on his way to the gym that’s only a few blocks down your street. 

“This is me,” you say as you both stand in front of your building. 

“this is a nice building” he looks up, admiring the modern design. 

“That’s such an architect thing to say” you joke before he joins you in laughter. 

“Well, I have many more of those,” he jokes back ,”how about I take you out for dinner on Saturday and tell you all about it?” 

You are taken aback by the smoothness, giggling before nodding your head. “I would like that very much, im free after 6pm”

“I'll pick you up at seven then?” 

You nod in reply “seven is perfect” 

“Cool, see you then y/n. Glad my phone didn’t get in the way of meeting you.” He winks before leaving, waving at you from a distance before turning on the next block. 

You walk inside in a much better mood thanks to tae, maybe this weekend won't be so bad.

-

Friday, finally. 

You walk out of class in great spirits, yapping with Monica about anything and everything. 

“I say we go for drinks right now, it's happy hour somewhere!” She says excitedly. 

“I would love to, but I can't,” you remind Monica of all the homework you have due next week, as well as of your date on Saturday, to which she squeals in excitement with you. “I know, i'm actually really excited,” you sigh nervously. 

“You sure are, that man is H-O-T” Monica laughs, “I'm excited for you!” 

“I’ll see you on Monday!” You wave at your friend before heading home. The weather is extra nice today so you decided to walk home again. 

-

“Jesus Christ these stairs” you speak out loud as you make it to your floor, surprised to find your door wide open. 

You walk in slowly, looking around to see if there’s anyone but instead, you find a couple of bags on the floor full of clothes and other stuff, is someone going on a holiday? 

“Hello?” You leave your things on the kitchen table while scanning the bags on the floor again. 

“Hi!” Yeonjun’s floor flies open to reveal a showered Yeonjun, a big smile on his face as he eats a bowl of instant noodles. “Are you moving out?” 

He frowns as he too scans the room, “why are they wet?” 

He points at one of the boxes on the floor, the bottom part slightly dampened. 

“Well that’s because im the unluckiest motherfucker in the world.” Soobin’s voice is heard from the hallway, walking into the living room as he dries his hair with a towel. “My place got flooded, broken pipe or something like that.” 

Your heart jumps at the sight of Soobin, your brain panicking and screaming at you as you check him out. You scan his clothes and notice they are soaked from the waist down, his hair and shirt sleeves slightly wet still. your eyes meet his once you finish scanning him. 

He gives you a big smile, but you can see the annoyance and stress on his face, almost like he's smiling through the pain. 

“Womp womp,” Yeonjun jokes as he places his bowl in the trash, “that is very unfortunate, I'm sorry to hear that.” 

You nod in agreement, offering Soobin a soft smile. “Yeah I’m sorry, can we help you dry some stuff?” 

Soobin shakes his head, “it's mostly dry now, just some boxes got a little wet, but nothing major.” He shrugs. 

“And so what? You are moving in? Why did you bring all your shit?” Yeonjun asks, now sitting on the couch turning the game on. 

“At least for the week, yeah.” Soobin shrugs again as he makes his way around the kitchen, grabbing some water. 

You freeze in place once his words sink. 

“Gyu is out of town till Wednesday so I’ll be taking over his house duties and stuff till then, hope that's okay.” 

“Do you wanna take over mine too?” Yeonjun asks right before starting the round, oblivious to Soobin’s eye roll. 

“Anyway, how was your day?” Soobin places his empty glass next to you, supporting his weight on the kitchen counter before turning to you with glistening eyes. 

You blink a couple of times before supporting yourself on the kitchen counter almost like you were trying to sleep as you stretched your back, Soobin copies your move, both ending up resting your heads on your arms. 

“It was good,” you reply before yawning, feeling sleepy all of the sudden. “Busy.”

Soobin’s eyes are focused on you, a cheeky smile on his lips as you stare at him mindlessly, blinking a couple of times before yawning again. 

“You seem tired,” Soobin whispers, which causes you to open your eyes again. 

“Yeah a little,” your lips shape into a straight line, “How are you?” You return the question politely. 

“Good, now that I see you,” he whispers again, his smile growing shy and he presses his lips together. “I won the tennis match last time.” He chuckles, your mind trying to find how one thing connects to the other. 

Soobin laughs at your confused frown, “I guess you are my lucky charm,” he nods with his head a couple of times, almost like he is agreeing with himself. 

You hide your face between your arms before giggling, “you can't be saying shit like this” you whisper to him, slowly standing up before pointing at Yeonjun. 

“We could have sex on this counter and Yeonjun would not notice,” he stands straight too, smacking the counter but getting no reaction from his friend who is deeply focused on his game. 

The temperature of your face rises at the thought of you and Soobin having sex on the kitchen counter. 

“Told you” he winks, making you roll your eyes. 

“Still, don’t,” you lightly smack him on the shoulder, his smile fading slowly as his eyes scan you. 

“…does it make you uncomfortable?” He asks in a serious tone. “I don’t mean to-..

“No no no,” you correct yourself when you realize Soobin thought you meant you didn’t want him to be flirty with you. 

He stands in front of you, full of thought as he scans you, a smile escaping his lips before he mouths an ‘okay’. 

You nod in reply, your face getting warmer as his right hand reaches for yours, his eyes never leaving yours as his thumb caressed your hand lightly. 

“Are you playing with us?” Soobin asks in a soft tone, to which you shake your head in reply.  

“Imma take a nap,” You reply with your eyes closed, humming in enjoyment at the caresses of Soobins hand on yours. 

“Okay then,” You feel his lips against your cheek, opening your eyes widely and turning to see Yeonjun with panic. Thankfully, he is too into the game. “Sweet dreams,” Soobin smiles when you turn to see him again, your cheeks turning a darker shade of pink as he lets go of your hand and joins Yeonjun on the couch. 

You watch him as he sets up his controller and get comfortable on the couch next to your roommate, who is playing with his mouth partially open, his eyes glued to the screen as he finishes the round. 

“Don’t be too loud,” You warn them before heading to your room, Soobin winking at you as you walk past them towards your room. 

-

You wake up by a light knock on your door.

“Y/n?” The voice of Soobin is soft through the door. “Can I?” he slightly opens the door, but not enough to see him. 

“Yeah come in” you say in a sleepy voice as you turn to look at the door, covering yourself even more with the blanket, only your face visible as Soobin sneaks his head through the door.

“Hey, you’ve been sleeping for a while now, are you okay?” He begins as he makes his way into the room, a plate in his hands. “I made pad thai, you should eat something you must be hungry.”

You smile and humm, sitting up to receive the plate, “That’s so sweet, thank you.” 

You grab the plate with both hands and smell the food, moaning at the pleasant smell and looks of the food, you were indeed hungry. “It smells amazing.” You look up to Soobin, who is staring down at you with a big smile. 

“I’ll let you enjoy your food in peace, I’ll be in the living room if you want to join me.” He bends down and places a quick peck on your lips, and you cover your mouth as he giggles. 

“Don’t do that I just woke up,” You say, covering your mouth as you grow embarrassed, you probably have terrible breath. 

“I don't care,” he laughs, “I hope you like it,” He says before walking out, closing the door behind him.

You smile at your food one more time before digging in, enjoying every bite more than the last. 

You can hear Soobin is cleaning the kitchen, and you decide to join and help him, bringing your plate with you. 

You can hear some faint music as you get closer to the kitchen, smiling when you find him washing the dishes. 

“Hey,” you greet him with a smile, placing your plate next to him before telling him to move out, “I can take care of what’s left,” you tell him, but he shakes his head, not moving from his place. 

“All good. I got it, go freshen up.” He points to the bathroom with his head, and you stare at him for a couple of seconds before he insists. “Go.” He giggles as he dries the pots he had just washed. 

You sigh before heading into the bathroom, a smile on your face as you walk away from him. 

You wash your teeth and freshen up your face with some water, not wanting to spend too much time in the bathroom. 

You walk out into the hallway, making it to the corner where the kitchen and the living room meet when you are swept away, making you gasp at the sudden scare. 

Soobin is holding you by the waist, pulling you closer to him as his hand reaches for your cheek, smiling as he pulls you closer, kissing you softly, giggling in between kisses at your surprise state. 

“You scared me,” you whisper. 

“I’m sorry,” He giggles back before both of his hands cup your face, deepening the kiss. 

“Wait.” You push him away, realizing that you are in the middle of the common area, right in front of Yeonjun’s room. 

He stares at you confused, a frown on his face as you point to Yeonjun’s door, concern drawn all over your face. 

He lets go of your waist and walks towards Yeonjun’s room. 

He knocks twice, “Yeonjun? Are you there?”

No answer. 

He proceeds to open the door, scan the room and then close it back shut. “He’s not here, and neither are his books."

You frown before pulling your phone out to text him. 

[Reply from Yeonjun:]

Hey, not sleeping home tonight. Group studies.

“He’s not coming home tonight.” You say as Soobin’s hands find your waist again, pulling you closer as he kisses you all over your face. 

You can’t help but giggle, placing your hands on his face to pull him for another kiss, this time, actually enjoying yourself. “So you think you can just kiss me now whenever you want?” 

He giggles between kisses, humming a yes in response before kissing your cheek. 

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long,” Soobin whispers against your ear, his hands finding your ass as he invites you to jump on him, wrapping your legs around him as he walks you to the couch, his lips attaching to yours as soon as you hit the soft material. . 

What started out as innocent kisses turned into a full on make-out session.

Soobin is on top of you, his hands wandering under your shirt but only around your waist and hips. His lips travel from your lips to your neck, only to end back on your lips. 

You are both moaning, your hands wandering all over as you struggle to breathe, not getting enough of him.

“Wait, Soobin.” You say in between harsh breaths. 

He pulls away immediately, “What’s wrong?” He whispers, his eyes scanning your face. 

You can’t help but stare. At his swollen red lips, covered in a light layer of saliva. His hair messed up, pointing in all directions. The faint marks of your cherry lip balm all over his neck and lips…

You sigh before closing your eyes. “We shouldn’t be doing this.” You whisper, and before you could open your eyes, Soobin was off from you and sitting by your side. 

You open your eyes and sit up, his eyes shutting down as he sighs.

He rests his head between his hands as he pulls on his hair lightly, “I know… I fucking know.” He sighs again.

You hug him. 

You are unsure of what to do, or how to approach the situation, so you just hug him. But it seems like it's enough, because he comforts you as well by rubbing your arms with his hands. 

“I can’t really help myself, you know?” he whispers, turning to look at you.  "this sucks."

You let go of him and stare directly into his eyes, feeling a million butterflies. 

“I know, I feel the same way.” 

You both stare at each other in silence, looking for answers in each other’s eyes, but finding none. 

You lean forward to kiss him again, a soft, slow and painful kiss before you pull away from him. His eyes slowly opening as he stares into your eyes with sparks, his lips forming a smile from ear to ear as he reaches for one more kiss, a cute and small peek on your lips. 

“Let’s play a game.” He says, standing up as he makes his way into the kitchen, opening the fridge. “Let’s ask each other questions, and the one who doesn’t want to answer, or gets it wrong, drinks.” He pulls two beers out of the bridge and places them on the table in front of you. 

“Sounds good,” You reply with a smile, taking a sip of your beer before you sit on opposite ends of the couch, making as much distance as possible to avoid more temptations. 

—

“How do you know all the answers?!” You squeal before taking another sip of your second beer. 

His laugh echoes all over the house, making you even angrier at the fact that he knows more of you than you thought he did.

“I have a great memory!” He mimics your tantrum before taking a sip of his third, new beer.

“I hate you,” You cross your hands against your chest. Looking away when he caresses your legs that are crisscrossed. 

“No you don’t” He whispers, his hand slowly sliding up from your thigh to your hip, pulling you closer for a kiss.

“Mmm.. you’re right.” You smile against his lips before cupping his face and kissing him back passionately, throwing your body weight on him, which makes him fall back on the couch, resting on his chest as you climb on top of him. 

You place your legs on each of his sides, straddling him before sitting up, your hand caressing his chest as he looks at you with surprise, a triumphant smile on his face as he admires the view. 

“Are you drunk already?” He asks in a chuckle. 

“No?” You giggle. “I’m tipsy,” You confess, “But I’m okay I promise.” 

His hands caress your legs, smiling before nodding, “Okay, I believe you.” 

In a swift movement, he sits up and reaches for your face, smashing your lips together passionately as your hands travel to his hair for the thousandth time tonight. 

“God…” Soobin moans as your hips move against his, slowly grinding on him as you devour each other. He moves his hands to your hips, helping you move on top of him. 

“We should go to bed,” You whisper against his ear, nibbling on it before sucking on it sensually, making him moan as his hands dig on your ass. 

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” 

You squeal again when he manages to stand up with you straddled on him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he struggles to walk to your bedroom in the dim light. 

“Oh shit, sorry,” He chuckles when he accidentally bumps your ass on a corner. 

“Oww,” You complain in between laughter, turning your upper body to help him open your door.

It takes seconds for you to be in the bed, making out in the same position you were on the couch, the grinding turning more aggressive as you feel his boner through your pants. 

“Y/n” he moans your name, pushing you away slowly as his hand fixes your hair behind your ear. “Time to get ready for bed.” 

You roll your eyes in annoyance, why is he cockblocking himself?

“Come on, up.” He taps your ass cheek lightly, and you obey him by climbing off of him, standing in front of him.

“But we’re having fun…” You push his hair off his forehead, leaning forward to give him a quick peck. 

“We can have fun after we get our pjs on and wash our face.” He scolds you as he taps your ass again, making you moan in annoyance. 

You go through your night routine quickly, night serum, big shirt, no pants, brush hair and teeth: done. 

You walk back to your room and jump into bed, cuddling up to Soobin who is laying on his side of the bed shirtless with his sweatpants on.

“You look sexy,” You whisper to him, traveling your hand through his naked chest while resting your head on his heart, feeling his heartbeat increase when your hands ghost his happy trail. 

“Well, you are sexy,” He whispers back, welcoming you into the cuddle by holding you tight. 

Your hand travels back up through his chest, caressing his neck before cupping his face, looking at him endearingly. 

You are surprised to find him already staring at you, his eyes glued to you as he smiles softly before leaning in for a kiss. 

The kiss once again, turns into a heated mess.

You make out heavily, his hand traveling under your shirt, caressing your ass as his fingers play with your underwear, which is more wet than you would like to admit. 

Soobin sucks on your bottom lip before breaking the kiss, staring at you as he twirls the side of your panties. “Can I touch you?” He whispers, his breathing picking up as your eyes stare into his.

You can feel your heartbeat on your eardrums, growing nervous and excited at his request.

“Yeah,” You whisper, your eyes never leaving his as his finger follows the shape of your underwear, from your hip to your ass. 

You unconsciously raise your leg higher, wrapping his body with it as his fingers land on your wet spot, a sigh escaping your lips when he caresses your clit over the damp material. 

You can feel the horniness taking over you as his fingers apply pressure on a circular motion over your clitoris, making you moan desperately, begging to feel him skin to skin. 

His eyes never leave yours, watching you squirm in pleasure as he teases you, slowly driving you crazy. 

However, he doesn’t tease you for too long, pushing your underwear to the side as his fingers slide between your folds, collecting all your arousal before his fingers ghost the swollen bud again. 

“Soobin,” You moan his name, finally closing your eyes as your hand digs onto his shoulder as he increases the pressure and the speed of his touch. Your hips move involuntarily, helping him touch just the right places, his eyes glued to you as you enjoy the feeling of his fingers against your clitoris. 

“Look at me baby,” he whispers, and you obey immediately. Your sight clouded by the lust as you whimper, his eyes staring straight into yours as his fingers begin to move faster. 

“God, it feels so good,” You moan again, your eyes closing for a quick moment before opening them again, a grin on his lips as he watches you struggle to keep the eye contact. 

And then, you gasp. 

You can feel two of his fingers entering you slowly, almost torturing you with the pace he is pushing them in. 

“Fuck, Soobin,” You moan on a higher pitch, feeling his fingers fill you fully before he pulls them back out, only to push them back just as slow. 

You lose the staring battle, your eyes closing as his fingers begin to fuck you at a faster pace, feeling the slight bend on his fingers as he hits your g-spot over and over again. 

“God, you are so beautiful,” He moans as he watches you struggle to keep it together, slowly crumbling to his touch as his thumb reaches for your clit, rubbing it as he continues to pound his fingers in and out of you. 

“Soobin,” You moan slightly louder, his movements becoming faster, but still delicate enough to drive you crazy. 

“That’s it baby, you’re doing so good for me,” He praises, you which only makes you melt to his touch even more. 

You are not sure if it's the alcohol you both consumed, or if it’s just you, but it's impossible to control your volume, moaning as your hand reaches to the bulge under his sweatpants, groping him as he pushes his hips against your hand. 

Both of you are moaning uncontrollably, a collection of fucks, gods and each others name’s escaping each others mouth until your orgasm starts to take over you. 

“I’m going to cum,” You manage to moan a full sentence as he continues to touch you, his fingers hitting your g-spot more harshly now, making you shake and whimper at the overwhelming feeling. 

“Come for me,” he whispers against your ear, and that's all it takes for your body to start shaking uncontrollably, your orgasm washing over you as he continues to finger-fuck you.

His fingers slow down as you ride your orgasm through, regulating your breathing as you continue to moan, becoming extremely sensitive to his touch. 

He pushes his fingers in one more time before he fully pulls out, raising his hand that is covered in arousal high enough for both of you to see it. 

You are about to tell him that he can use your underwear to wipe them when he takes his fingers to his mouth, sucking your arousal off of them as he closes his eyes, moaning at the taste of you. 

You feel yourself growing embarrassed, feeling almost dirty to be watching such a scene. 

You notice his boner is still there, and you begin to feel guilty for not fully helping him with it, so you squeeze the area lightly, making him open his eyes as he gasps, placing a hand over yours, stopping you.

“It’s okay,” He assures you. “We can take care of this some other time,” He smiles at you, but you can’t help but frown.

“But I want to-” 

“It's okay, y/n. Really.” He reassures you, “I think I’m too tired to cum anyway, you can take care of me next time.” He winks at you, and you soften your facial features at the proposal.

It does make sense, you think to yourself, the sleepiness taking over you as you snuggle up to him. “You won’t escape me next time,” You say jokingly, gaining a chuckle from him as he hugs you tightly. 

“I’m not planning on it,” He jokes, making you smile against his chest as your eyes feel too heavy to open, drifting into a comfortable sleep.

-----

a/n: Helloo, new update for you guys, I think this one was worth the wait. ;)

Lmk what you think of the smut 😵‍💫 im not sure how detailed you guys would like me to be since this ff is more fluff than smut, if you guys prefer to keep the smut minimal let me know!

Happy readings, Ceci x

Don't forget to comment below if you want to be added to the taglist!

TAGLIST:

@bangchansbae @a-l-i-y-a @jeonsfizz @yogurttea @kwanisms @whippedforbeomgyu @foxyjun @hearts4csb @venusprada @day6andetcetera @icouldntcareless22 @lol6sposts @moatchapuff @soohome @enzos-shit @lonelybutterflytae @heegyuwrld @katsukis1wife

[mostremote]

Reflecting on 2024 and goals for 2025

personal longpost

Another year gone by! Last year I set myself the single goal of making an effort to publish the novel I was then working on. I finished that novel and did indeed 'make an effort' to publish it. I was not successful, but I learned a lot in this process about how the industry works and most importantly I learned that my first novel, while there is much I like about it, was in many ways more of an exercise than a great output. I would quite like to rewrite it from scratch now that I know more about what I want to write, but for now I am going to set it aside. I am writing a different novel now which is 1/3 complete, and thus far it has proved a much more cohesive and mature project. So, one goal for 2025 will be to finish that novel and, I hope, secure a literary agent.

My other more relaxed goal for 2025 is to read 50 non-academic books. This year I quit one of my academic service roles which required reading loads of academic books I didn't care about, and now I will be free to read as much as I want. I'm also breaking out of my academic niche to research and teach on works more interesting to me, so being able to read whatever I want will be a great boon.

My other big life plan is to move cities, get a mortgage, and buy a house (no more 8 hour commute!!). I'm not going to set this as a "goal" since it's almost guaranteed to happen and if it doesn't it'll be because, idk, I end up in a coma or something. But it'll be a big life change to look forward to!

2024 had lots of good things happen. Most importantly my second academic book came out with [major publisher] so that was exciting! But in the most remote.txt thing of all time, at the book launch everyone wanted to congratulate me and i just kind of waved them off so i could make a beeline for Hot Old Man and drink and talk about erotic literature w him all evening instead....... god i'm a parody of myself

Another important thing this year was making a very good close new friend, which is hard to do in your 30s, and I am immensely grateful for her intelligence, verve, and influence on me. There are few things I cherish more from 2024 than gaining her friendship.

Last year I was also very manic and that has, thankfully, much calmed down. My Big Emotional Change has endured; I've lost all interest in my previous addictive behaviours (mostly excessive & harmful sexual habits & video games) and have just been incredibly centred and soothed and happy. Writing The Shivering Season and basically canonising Donald Sutherland allowed me to process certain things about my trauma and abuse that have transformed me into a different person. I also finally got into proper long term therapy and that's been very good for me. Granted those who follow my trauma/MH side blog can see I've still been a bit insane in some ways, but it has genuinely been so much better than it was. Just feeling very calm and happy (certainly the SSRIs have helped with that lol) and good about where my life is and where it will be. Bring on 2025! And don't fuck that Hot Old Man

[graveyardcuddles]

I never really understood when people talked about "the pain" of falling in love with fictional characters. I've had crushes on fictional characters before. I knew people fell in love with fictional characters. Those people described their feelings as beyond a crush and that they truly, genuinely in love with their character. But I never really related to those feelings. Not until Astarion.

I know this post is gonna sound silly to some but I actually teared up a lil writing this lol.

It's kinda crazy to experience this feeling for the very first time at my age. Maybe it's because of the video game romance aspect, which I had never really experienced before bg3. Maybe it was because I met Astarion at a time in my life where I was desperately lonely and isolated.

I was very much in my trauma of something terrible that had happened to me a few years prior that I'm still healing from and will carry with me for the rest of my life. I was abandoned by my friends and family in this crisis and left to pick up these pieces. I lost the opportunity to fulfill some of my biggest dreams. I generally felt broken, ugly, and unlovable.

And then this beautiful man comes into my life and makes me smile and laugh so much more than I've smiled or laughed in literal YEARS. He's this delightful combination of vampire tropes I adore that just tickles me and makes me hang onto his every word.

His flirting is over the top and silly, sure. But I can't help but fall for it because he calls me "darling" and "beautiful" and like....I've literally NEVER flirted with by ANYONE I felt attracted to before. I know a lot of people criticize Astarion fans who fall for his flirting right away for "falling for the act," but it's hard not to when you're not used to feeling desired. For once in my life, it felt nice to be desirable.

And of course, the more I found out about him, the more and more I fell in love with him and wanted to do everything I could for him. Finding every little way to get approval from him in the game. Finding every conversation you could have with him. Dressing him up. Leveling him up and making him stronger. Romancing him. Killing his abuser with him. Freeing him. Finally completing his quest and then getting that last scene with him at the epilogue.

It was after the epilogue scene that I realized I couldn't get enough of him. Thst I was actually MISSING him when I wasn't playing the game. And worse, I started wishing I could literally experience the relationship my Tav has with him. That I he could look at me like that, kiss me like, hold me like that.

I started thinking I really wanted a boyfriend. I wanted to find a nice, sweet, funny bi/pansexual man I could get to know. I downloaded a dating profile. But it didn't take very much time swipping through profiles before I realized I wasn't really looking for any boyfriend. I was looking for an Astarion in the guys on this app. I ultimately felt like it wasn't fair to them to hold them to that expectation.

So I gave up on the idea of dating for now (I have other things going on in life that make that hard, but yeah). My desire to find Astarion in someone else wouldn't end well, probably. I still feel such a strong love and desire for him it actually hurts my heart.

Even so it still took me a LONG time to admit I actually LOVE Astarion, and that this isn't just a regular crush. I didn't WANT to be in love with a fictional character. But after failing to connect with anyone on the dating app I realized this went deeper than just wanting a relationship. This was about wanting a SPECIFIC relationship, one that had serious limitations compared to a "regular" romance.

I know he's not real. And that's part of where the pain comes from. I desperately wish he was real. Or at least a version of him who's in a more healthy, healed place and ready for a relationship. I know one day I might be able to find someone who's somewhat like him. But I'm too afraid I don't have enough to offer a real person for a real relationship right now. I don't know if I ever will be. I know Astarion will always be there for me, though. At least in my heart.

It is painful to be in love with a fictional character. But I do think that is what I feel for Astarion. I think about him every day. He makes me smile and laugh. I picture a life with him all the time. And the joy I receive from thinking about him FEELS like him loving me back.

Astarion has even motivated me to improve myself for the better, somewhat. I make an effort to take care of myself more partially because I feel like he would judge me if I didn't lol.

[ineffable-suffering]

Demonic Mental Health Awareness Post

i'm not sure if occult beings are technically capable of suffering from mental illnesses but, watching S2 for the nth time now, i'm pretty sure that ever since Armageddon didn't happen, crowley has simply been a little, well ... depressed.

(just in case, a mild TW: depression, trauma, mental illness)

like, one of the firsts things we hear him say (to shax, out of all people) is: "do you ever think: what's the point of it all? heaven, hell, angels, demons, it's all ... pointless." which– whoof, that's heavy. i mean, fair enough, he's got a point, but it's still one hell (pun intended) of a statement to chuck out as one of the first things he says this season.

i think the way that crowley and aziraphale processed Armageddon is .. very different. we see aziraphale at the beginning of S2:

happy as always in his surroundings

chatting to the people in his whickber street community

buying music

humming along to it in his bookshop

and just frolicking, as he always does

crowley, however, is:

sitting alone on The park bench

questioning the meaning of existence

while also technically being homeless

and living in his car

for ... no apparent reason other than not being bothered to miracle himself up a new flat

of course, crowley's always been a bit of a grumpy goth boyfriend. but it doesn't take a licensed therapist to figure out that he's clearly Going Through something. and it makes sense, if you think about it. surely, Armageddon was traumatic for both of them. but i think aziraphale does have a bit more of a safety net to fall back on. he's got his shop, his books, his music and some of his neighbours he seems to like and know. and, of course, he has crowley. who's always just a phone call away and who he, as we are told, calls when pretty much anything does or doesn't happen.

crowley's main hobby and somewhat safe space used to be his plants and his flat, but those are kinda gone too now/crammed into the bentley and he clearly hasn't been able to move on yet since he a) hasn't bothered to get a new flat and (what i think is an even bigger indicator of him not being okay) b) hasn't told aziraphale yet. ("we talk all the time!" yup, but clearly not about the things that matter, hm?)

it's been four years. four years in which, seemingly, aziraphale had few issues with falling back into his old flow, picking up his hobbies again and even making more friends around Soho. and four years in which crowley lost his flat, most of his plants and apparently his will to change anything about it or share it with aziraphale.

having been through major depressive episodes myself, this does *david tennant voice* bingle-bongle-dingle-dangle all my alarm bells.

because people cope with trauma in different ways. some better than others. and crowley, having Major Unresolved Trauma from his Fall, always having been rather unhappy with the work he'd been doing for hell (aka only getting credit for things he didn't do and sort of messing up things he did do) and also having to face the fact that the angel he was head over heels in love with kept turning him down over and over again for reasons he didn't understand ... well, it didn't set him up for a great post-not-so-much-the-end-of-the-world start.

and sometimes, being forced to keep running under kinda shitty conditions (such as a crappy job or trying to chase after the love of your life) still keeps you running. but once that all stopped, once aziraphale and crowley were (at least for the time being) free of heaven and hell and could finally just live their lives, crowley seems to just have retreated further back into himself. questioning the whole meaning of existence and not really talking about it to the one person he'd always wanted to be with. which makes sense because more than anything, crowley wants to protect aziraphale. and he‘s definitely the type of demon person to think that sharing your struggles means burdening someone else with them. oh crowley, you and me would have so much to talk about, babe.

so yeah. the world almost ended. and then it just went back to normal. and i think crowley is still stuck somewhere between thinking he'd lost his best friend and love of his life in a fire, almost being anihilated by his satanic boss and then everything simply snapping back into the way it always was – within the span of a day. no wonder he's finding it a little hard to move on.

---

(addendum: there's a great piece of fanfiction called "Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach" that deals exactly with that trauma, in which crowley goes to see a therapist. incredible character study and brilliant writing.)

[missygoesmeow]

missy's tips for honour mode :) (it's very long I'm sorry) (oh and here be many spoilers) (but pictures too!)

please note I am not a pro gamer or anything. I sucked so bad when I first started this game (I had no idea wtf I was doing). Like seriously. I didn't know what an action was. what a bonus action was. "No movement left". WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MOVEMENT LEFT. I had played DnD once before.

I literally bought this game because of Astarion.

I usually play one game and that is Overwatch. the only other time I stopped playing OW was to play Resident Evil: Village because of Lady D. vampire marketing works on me. specifically evil vampire. damn u Neil and Maggie.

if you have any questions about a specific boss or something feel free to ask! I didn't fight everyone though - like I did not do House of Grief because I didn't need to and also it's hard :)

I think a lot of it just came on down to...

ANYWAY. letsa go! this is very rambling!

Like I said in my reply to anon, the best tip is to do tactician FIRST. You’ll get destroyed otherwise. I didn’t finish my tactician run but I did get to act 3 and I did most boss fights (Gortash, Raphael, Cazador). Bosses have legendary actions in tactician and it’s fucking annoying. All the homies hate radiant retort….

Another tip is fucking collect everything. It’s hard to get gold and certain potion ingredients later on. Potion of Speed (you need hyena ears for this) is the BEST. I used them for my Ketheric fight (second phase) and killed him in three turns. I also used them for the final fight and used one or two with Raphael and Orin.

Smokepowder Barrels. I think people call this Barrelmancy? I didn't use them much. I hoarded them for one reason and one reason only.

To blow Raphael.

His soul pillar towers that is. To blow up his pillars. His big long pillars.

Okay I'm done.

(also I did use three in my last fight against the brain - popped them next to it and blew 'em up) Elixir of Bloodlust - sooooo handy with Astarion!

Invisibility Potion is a must - I used this to escape fights when three people were deaded (this happened a few times😅) and get my good friend Withers to bring them back.

bonus tip: don't go into a fight with half your spell slots because you think "she'll be right". she won't be...as seen above

HOLY FUCK WITHERS. You can pickpocket Withers. I used Astarion to get our money back anytime I resurrected, changed class or got a hireling - he doesn’t care if you fail either, just keep trying.

DON'T BE DUMB LIKE MISSY Don't be like me, don't half pay attention in cut scenes and accidentally press the wrong dialogue option. Or else your good friend Lae'zel will turn on you and you will have A Bad Time.

Gale has a stressful day💗

The githyanki are scary and actually now that I think about it, those were usually the fights I had to run away from like a leetle biatch.

Halsin has a stressful day 💗

I forgot that Psionic Backlash is like a thing that does damage and that if your entire worm filled party does it and the person you are casting is at like...say 19 health...they will die because that is not Passive Damage.

And then Jaheira will leave because you murdered her friend.

Oopsie.

(I lost Shart, Lae'Zel and Jaheira in this run) GENERAL STUFF

Always surprise the enemy if you can, it’s a massive advantage!

Get the eye from Volo. This run was not about looking pretty, it was about getting any advantage I could get. Let that man poke out your eyeball. And make sure it’s your Tav, you will mostly likely swap companions and it’s just better if it’s you. It's helpful in a lot of fights but especially Auntie Ethel

Become half illithid. I did this with my Tav, Gale and Minthara. Astarion was a little bitch about it so I didn’t give it to him but I wish I had made him do it.

She looks Not Great but she can fly (sorry Astarion but Z'hera only likes pussy)

Being able to fly is just SO helpful and cull the weak is OP! Also mmmmm worms :)

MY BUILD/PARTY

A Giant Woman (my tiefling) as a Paladin - Oath of Vengeance.

I broke my oath when I ascended Astarion but you can just get it back. Oathbreaker is still good (that’s what I was in my tactician run) but I wanted my channel divinity charges. I started with the Everburn Blade from the cambion Commander Zhalk on the Nautaloid (when you get Shart, give her the Command Spell and use “Drop” so you can just yoink it off him and save a fight). My final weapon was the Nyrulna which you can get in Act 3 at the Circus. To get this you must pickpocket the genie to take his ring and then play his game. He will accuse you of cheating and send you somewher. The prize at the end is this weapon. I love it. I just went invisible and walked through, I didn’t fight the creatures there.

Astarion - the classic gloomstalker/assasin. I had one level assasin and then did 6 levels ranger before going back to assassin. So he was 6 levels in each. With him ascended, he does INSANE damage. I never swap out that vamp, he’s too useful.

Shart/Minthara - I lost Shart in the Shadowfell - wouldn't let her murder Dame Aylin.

a simpler time. before I killed my beloved and my brain was full of worms.

I had to fight her (it was very sad). I changed her class to Life of Domain Cleric. I then made Minthara my cleric when Shart died (same build). She replaced my lover and my cleric <3

i love my new evil girlfriend

Gale - Evocation Wizard so I didn’t change him at all!

he's so hopeful. and Z'hera is very gay.

TIPS FOR POTIONS

If it’s throwable (like invisibility) group the gang together to throw one on the ground to get you all - saves using multiple.

Potion of Speed has an effect called lethargic that is active for one round after the potion ends. This means you miss a turn. HOWEVER! If you drink another one on the last active round of the potion, your Tav will become lethargic immediately and next round you’ll be fine :) I did this for the Ketheric fight.

It’s also helpful (because of lethargic) to not have all characters take the potion in the same round (if you give it to everyone). I never did, I usually gave them to Gale and my Tav.

I hoarded so many scrolls. I had so many dimension door scrolls at the end.

I did get the Necromancy of Thay and did all the things. And then I never used it :)

BIGGEST TIP ONCE YOU'VE UNLOCKING LEVEL 6 SPELL SLOT WITH CLERIC (ALSO AVAILABLE WITH DRUID)

I saw this on reddit! Pretty much what I did was get a hireling - Cleric - and have that Cleric cast Heroes' Feast on my party.

The affected entity is immune to Diseases, Poisons, and being Frightened, it makes all Wisdom Saving throws with Advantage, and its maximum Hit Points are increased by 12

Lasts until long rest!! I also then cast Freedom of Movement on everyone in the party. I then cast Warding Bond on someone - usually Gale because he's a squishy boy :) If I knew it was a BIG FIGHT! I got another Cleric to cast Warding Bond on another party member.

you can see Heroes' Feast (the condition is called Thoroughly Stuffed) and Freedom of Movement. These all last until long rest!

Pretty much any other companions were respeced as Cleric (though I made Jaheira a Wizard same as Gale so I could use her). I did this so that I could use Divine Intervention multiple times within the game!

I used Opulent Revival and nothing else

KEEP IN MIND.

anything can kill you in honour mode. even an elevator.

it crushed me. somehow.

thanks Larian

(if you want proper guides definitely go to Reddit!)