#I'm finally forcing myself to finish it so I can get started on the official NWM comic

[enm-enthusiast]

The Exhibitionist's Club Ch. 8 - Sebastian Part 2

A Lacy Afternoon....

Sebastian

The past week has been hell.

I've been trying to stay away from the frat house as much as possible, but the time I've been spending there lately has been so humiliating. Eric's public punishment of me has been a target on my back, everyone in that house has the right to degrade and taunt me as much as they want.

A couple of times, I've been stripped completely naked as soon as I walked in the door! and always, they always tease me about the cock cage I'm still wearing. James has been helping me, thankfully, and his plan was starting to finally take shape.

All I had to do was get the campus security guards to hire me as a student worker. Apparently, it provided a lot of protection from student-run discipline, anyone caught violating this was subject to immediate expulsion from the University if found to be true...

Thus, here I stood in the campus security building, and had been forced to strip down completely naked for everyone here, as part of their famous "initiation." The security officer who hired me on, Jack Whittle had explained, in fact he just finished his by working the entire week at the office naked....

It got me incredibly aroused thinking of the muscular older man walking around the office butt naked. He blushed when talking about it and some of the other security guys teased him too, taunting him about the thickness of his cock and I salivated at getting to possibly see it for myself.

I had truthfully explained my situation to Jack, and he seemed sympathetic, and even said that Eric had been giving the University all sorts of troubled for years now but he was careful enough to not do anything that would have gotten him in real trouble.

He said that all I had to do was finish this initiation, then I could get my 'clothing privileges' back and even give Eric an official warning from the security office. That way, Jack said, he wouldn't dare touch me or anything near me, and it filled me with a sadistic delight at seeing Eric squirm in fear and fury at his revenge being undone.

The only thing that troubled me was James, he was taking an awfully big risk helping me, and if Eric found out....well, I knew first hand how vicious the little shit could be.

But I would worry about that later, first I needed to get through this, and I was embarrassed enough that all my new colleagues were already leering at me and sizing me up.

They got a weird thrill as I was slowly stripping off my clothes, some even whistled as soon as I took off my shirt. As expected, their eyes immediately locked onto my cock cage as soon as I lowered my underwear down my legs.

"Wow dude, did you lose a bet or something?" One of the campus security guards said, stifling his laughter upon seeing my cock cage, making my face turn bright red.

"How long have you been wearing that?" Jack said.

"....about....3 and a half weeks" I said, teeth grinding as my embarrassment and rage fueled me.

The guys shared looks of shock, amusement, and a few of them concerned, Jack included. I couldn't let them get involved, me and James were so close to giving Eric some long overdue payback, so I needed to bear the shame, for just a bit longer. I put on my best poker face despite that it was surely as red as a tomato at this point.

"Don't worry about it, the guys back at the Frat and me were playing around, I lost a few bets, and here we are...can we get a move one please" I said.

Most seemed to accept this, all of them, except for Jack who gave me a knowing look, but regardless he carried on.

"Well, you seem to be in excellent condition, in fact you've put in some great work in those muscles Sebastian, must get you lots of attention around this campus" Jack said. winking at that last part.

"Not a bad backside either, you got some good glutes on you" a blonde guard named Daniel said, a hungry look in his eyes. It was hard not to feel vulnerable and exposed as all of them, in one way or another, were devouring the sight of my naked body.

It was hard not to think of Thomas in that moment, who was dealing with his own problems at the moment, some classmate of his called George was giving him trouble and I wanted to find him and smash in his face for messing with Thomas, but I couldn't refuse when he begged me not to do something so foolish, and I had to admit he was right.

Speaking of, Thomas took a...interesting perspective on my cock cage, the two of us decided to make the most of it...I allowed him to shift our dynamic in bed, the first night he took control and made me get on my hands and knees and suck his cock until he flipped me onto my stomach and made me beg for him to fuck me....god if only I wasn't wearing the cage I'd have had the biggest erection in my entire life.

I only wish I could be out there helping him instead, but foolish me thought signing up as a student worker for the security office would be a great idea. Or rather, it was James' idea.

I'm still skeptical of how they told me all workers needed to take a fitness test, especially one that's entirely in the nude....

If it wasn't for the cock cage, I wouldn't feel as vulnerable and exposed around these other guys, they all seemed to take it in and good fun and none of them poked, prodded, or even made fun of me for it, unlike the frat guys who were hounding my every step and making my life hell, I just needed to get out of that house....

"So....does that mean I'm in?" I asked.

"We just need one last thing from you Sebastian, it shouldn't be a problem for a strapping young lad like you" Jack said, his tone neutral but his expression was hiding something mischievous.

"Okay...what is it?" I said.

What he said next made my jaw drop to the floor and nearly run out of the building.

"We want you to wear these as your work uniform for the first week, consider it....your training period" Jack said, grinning wide as he held up a red lacy crop top and a matching pair of silky red lace briefs, ones with design patterns that left the backside almost completely see-through!

"You gotta be kidding me!" I say, incredulous, my face already burning bright red and I felt a shocking jolt in my crotch followed by a slight ache as my cock was unable to twitch as it used to.

"I'm afraid not, hehe you see the boys here thought you'd look incredible in these, and I agree, but its up to you kid, so what's it going to be? us....or nothing" he finished, giving me another look that just between us, said:

"You either wear this for a week in the office...or you continue to be a naked frat slave with your dick shrinking inch by inch as each week passes."

It didn't seem to be a fair choice, but I knew it was my only one, and I needed this so I could start getting back at Eric, I wouldn't take it from Jaime and I'm not about to start letting some blowhard blonde do it to me either!

"Alright....fine, I'll do it" I said. Holding out my hand and Jack gave me another wide grin as he handed over the crop top and underwear to me. He merely looked down and back up once, that hungry look in his eyes again as he waited with his arms crossed.

My face was beet red I'm sure as I pulled the top over my head, I had to admit the material felt....good against me bare skin. Next was the underwear...I had to suppress a whimper as I pulled them up my legs, the material felt so nice and smooth just like the top. This only added to my rising embarrassment, I hated how it felt so good to wear these despite how slutty and exposed it made me look.

The guys jaws all dropped as I finished putting on my new 'uniform' and Jack walked over to me with a look of delighted surprise and said: "Wow...just wow, you look great in those, and I guess we got you the right size after all, those undies really make your ass look..." he trailed off, and I shuddered as he teasingly ran a hand over my right ass cheek.

I bit my lip as he did so, the contact of his hand against the material felt so good...I was really looking forward to tonight with Thomas with how horny this was making me.

I felt my submissive side take over as I wanted my man's dick inside me so bad, and I had to whip myself back to reality as I realized that I was practically drooling after what Jack did and the rest of the guys noticed. Several of them had bulges growing in their security uniform pants....

"Alright Sebastian, so far so good, you seem to really like those, so I'll tell you what...you can keep em" he said, rubbing my shoulder and giving me a look with that same look in his eyes.

At first I didn't respond, I was shocked at first but...I knew that I'd keep them, as humiliating as it was to have to wear this in front of all these guys, I had to admit they also made me feel sexy with how everyone here was reacting to me wearing them.

I decided to wear them under my clothes later...see how Thomas will react, the thought of it made me so incredibly aroused the simple contact of Jack's hand on my shoulder was making me weak at the knees. I was in disbelief at how my body was reacting, but it felt so good, too good to ignore, so I was ready to embrace it and I gave Jack a firm nod.

"In fact, since you're being so good, you work this whole afternoon in that and I'll get Eric to take that thing off you" He said.

My eyes widened in surprise, I'd have done so regardless but now I was more determined than ever.

"Good boy" he said, giving me another firm wink and gave my ass a real hard slap as he walked behind me and said "now get to work!" he said. propelling me forward toward the other guys who all took turns lightly touching and teasing my body.

They all knew how horny it made me and took delight at teasing me so tantalizingly and yet so briefly, after that, they all filed out and left one by one until was just me and Jack, who beckoned me to follow him.

The next few hours would prove to be one of the most challenging as Jack showed me around the office, while simultaneously showing me off and parading me around the entire building like I was a zoo's latest attraction. It was mostly men around the office, but a few clerical workers were women who all did a double take at seeing me like this, yet their gaze also followed me hungrily.

Some of them even snuck in some light slaps to my ass or even a caress of my muscles across my body. It took everything I had to keep concentrating on things Jack was saying, introducing me to what I would be doing in the office.

After giving me a full tour of the office, Jack led me to the student workers office, where basically I read through student complaints and calls and forwarding them to the security officers who would be sent out to respond.

Thankfully there were only two other workers, one of them a a shorter yet average Hispanic dude named Julien and a young brunette woman named Emily. Both of them were introduced to me by Jack, and surprisingly neither of them seemed shocked at my state of (un)dress. Yet, both of them had a similar look as the others, a lingering hunger that made me full that much more exposed yet it also gave me a thrill and rush of excitement.

"I'll leave you all to it, I'll come collect you in just a few hours Sebastian...good luck" he said, then left me alone with the two of them.

'So....hey" I said, trying to break the ice.

"If you're wondering at our expressions from earlier, its because its probably tame I'm in comparison to some of the other things we've seen working here, not to mention our own...initiations" Julien said, the both of them looking away from each other at that last part.

I decided to drop the subject then.

"Alright, well regardless its good to meet some fellow student workers" I said, giving them both a reassuring smile which they took to hear, returning mine.

We spent the next few hours getting me up to speed about the job, although sometimes I noticed them looking at me in a weird way. Other times, one or both them got too close to my proximity and I swore I felt a light finger touch or two, after the first hour of that I was starting to realize they weren't new at this...

The light contact was driving me crazy, being locked in this cage for so long was making me hornier than I've been since I was a teenager. But I managed to power through it, I was determined to be rid of this thing once and for all.

After my initial training shift was over, Jack appeared as expected and he smiled as soon as he saw me. "Wow, I half expected these two to have ripped those off you by now" he said, giving my fellow student workers a look that made the both of them look away from me and back towards the computers they worked at instead.

Part of me wanted to inquire further, but I decided to cast it aside for now.

I walked up to Jack and he pulled me aside and said: "I talked to my boss and he approved as well, we both personally called Eric up at the Frat...he'll unlock that thing from you first thing when you get back to the frat, and I even took care of the other part of your punishment."

"A-are you serious?" I said, ready to jump with joy.

"Deadly. But listen kid, Eric was LIVID, he kept trying to double down on 'frat autonomy' but as soon as we threatened to take it to the Dean he backed down" he said.

"Well...regardless, thank you, Jack, this means a lot, if there's any way I can repay you-" I began before Jack interrupted with:

"Any? Well....I can think of a few..." Jack said, giving me a look that said he'd have me bent over or on my knees in a heartbeat if he had it his way.

It made my face turn as red as the outfit I was still wearing. I looked down at myself and almost couldn't believe I still had to wear this for the rest of the week at the office....but a deal is a deal, and I keep my word no matter what.

"One more thing Sebastian...I know you said James helped you out, just keep an eye on him in case Eric finds out what happened, alright? he's a good kid" Jack said.

I knew exactly what he meant, Eric was vicious and petty, and would do almost anything to get back at someone for slights both real...and imagined.

"Don't worry, I will" I said and began to talk out towards the lockers where my clothes waited for me. Before I got far, Jack gave another caress of my silk-clad ass cheeks which made me whimper just loudly enough for Jack to hear, who merely smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

I practically ran back as soon as I got away, taking off the outfit and storing it in my bag for later with Thomas, then pulling out my clothes and getting dressed. I had one last thing to do before heading to Thomas' dorm, and I smiled as I couldn't wait to see Eric's face as he took the cock cage off of me.

I left the office quickly and quietly, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes knowing they'd seen me wearing that outfit, I needed to maintain my confidence to prepare myself for the confrontation that awaited me, and sure enough, as soon as I opened the door to the frat house, the tension was palpable...

Little did I know how much more things would escalate following the moment I closed the door of the house behind me, but I also wouldn't change it no matter what.

End of Chapter 8.

Author's Note: Hello everyone! I know its been such a long time since I posted, I've been going through a lot recently but I'm back and ready to give you guys more sexy naked adventures ;)

Sebastian seems to have gotten the upper hand once more, but can he protect his friends as well as himself? We'll see in the upcoming chapters.

I hope you enjoyed the different path this chapter took, sexy outfits like the one Sebastian was forced to wear this chapter have been an background idea for a while, so please tell me if you guys liked it...if you did I'll be sure to include it in later chapters more. But until then, enjoy this latest installment!

[sailorstar9]

He Betrayed F/N Before The Wedding, So She Chose His Rival Be Her New Husband Right Away Warning: Angst Trigger warning: Cheating

F/N's fiance had a bachelor party the night before the wedding and spent the night with his first girlfriend. F/N didn't cry or make a scene; she wore her wedding dress and attended the wedding as usual, except at the wedding she gave the ring to another man.

Otoya thought F/N was acting out, so he paraded around with a young girl to make F/N jealous. He called her, saying, “You can still come back. I can break up with her.”

But then. Chigiri, his nemesis in the speed department, answered from F/N's phone. “F/N's pregnant. Stop bothering her.”

F/N stood on the stage with Otoya, dressed in her gorgeous wedding gown.

The officiant held out the wedding rings and read out the vows. “Mr. Otoya, do you take Miss F/N as your wife, no matter?”

Otoya held F/N's hand and couldn't wait to shout into the mic, “I do.”

The audience applauded, but Otoya didn't notice the makeup on his collar rubbing off, revealing a hickey on his neck.

F/N forced a smile and stayed silent.

The officiant then turned to F/N, “F/N, do you take Otoya as your husband, no matter?”

“Not willing.” F/N cut him off directly.

“What are you saying?” Otoya looked at F/N, confused.

“I said I'm not willing.” F/N repeated.

“Stop joking.” Otoya demanded.

The audience started murmuring.

Otoya's face darkened ; he grabbed the ring and tried to put it on F/N's hand, insisting, “You've been looking forward to this day for so long.”

Until the previous night, F/N had indeed been looking forward to the wedding. But last night, at his so-called bachelor party, Otoya kissed his first girlfriend. She straddled him and they made out passionately.

Someone had asked him, “You're marrying F/N tomorrow. How do you feel?”

“Don't ruin the fun by mentioning that.” Otoya replied.

“But you chased F/N for so long.” the same voice pointed out.

“I finally got her, but now she's boring.” Otoya shrugged. “But if she wants to get married, fine by me.”

Then, Otoya and his first girlfriend left early and booked a hotel next door.

When F/N received that video, all her anticipation and joy turned into overwhelming sadness.

However, she still wore her wedding dress, had the makeup artist doll her up and showed up at the wedding looking her best; just for this moment, to humiliate him in front of everyone.

“Had fun with Momo last night?” F/N asked Otoya.

“I can explain about last night.” Otoya's face changed immediately. “But let's finish the wedding first.”

“No,” F/N said, looking him in the eye. “We are breaking up. From today, we're done. I'm giving you back to your precious Momo.”

Otoya's face turned black and he grabbed F/N's hand. “After making a scene like t his, who would want you now?”

F/N pulled her hand, “What if I give myself to someone else?”

She turned her gaze down the stage and noticed the frowning Chigiri, Otoya's speed rival.

Before Otoya could react, F/N said, “Please help me. Take me away.”

Chigiri looked at F/N's pleading eyes for a long time and asked, “No regrets?”

“No regrets.” F/N replied firmly.

Chigiri placed his wine glass on the table, grabbed F/N by the wrist and let her out.

“Chigiri, what do you mean by this?” Otoya yelled from the stage.

“Handle it.” Chigiri gave Kunigami, his best friend, a side look.

In Chigiri's car...

Chigiri slid into the driver's seat, watching as F/N wept in the back seat from the rear-view mirror. Opening the glove compartment, he took out the tissue box and handed it to the crying woman.

Just then, F/N's phone rang, the Caller ID indicating it was Kaori, F/N's best friend.

“Did you really run off with Chigiri from your wedding?” Kaori's voice sounded over the speaker. “You finally got something good. Since you took him, just spend the night with him.”

“Sorry,” F/N turned to the amused Chigiri. “My maid-of-honour was talking nonsense.”

Chigiri looked at F/N, his pinkish-red eyes full of possessiveness, “You just let me put a ring on you in front of everyone and now you're having second thoughts? Or are you still thinking about Otoya?”

“Otoya is dead to me since the night he slept with his first girlfriend.” F/N retorted.

“Good.” Chigiri nodded in satisfaction and started the car. “Most of us always agreed Otoya was never right for you.” he admitted, flooring the accelerator.

In Chigiri's apartment...

F/N only took one step through the door when she was met by Chigiri's forceful and dominant kiss as he pinned her against the entryway wall, his hands tugging at her wedding dress.

“Wait...” F/N breathed heavily, feeling Chigiri reach for the dress zipper.

“No more waiting...” Chigiri growled, picking F/N up and carried her to the bedroom.

The next morning...

When F/N woke up, her whole body was sore beyond belief. Her phone had countless missed calls from Otoya, along with numerous messages, but F/N didn't want to look at any of them.

Chigiri had already left for practice but he was thoughtful, leaving F/N with clean clothes and food.

However, having just left a failed relationship, F/N had no intention to stay nor did she plan to get tied up with the redhead speedster.

After letting her family know she was safe, F/N headed straight to the airport. With no specific destination, she just picked the next available flight. Before boarding, she sent a message to Chigiri: thank you. Then, she took out her domestic SIM card and tossed it into a nearby trash bin.

Two months of solo travelling later...

F/N returned home for Kaori's outdoor birthday party.

Unexpectedly, Otoya showed up with his first girlfriend.

Kaori was furious, “I didn't invite him. The nerve of him. I'll kick him out right now.”

“No worries.” F/N stopped Kaori. “Today's your birthday. There's no need to ruin it over this. Let's just ignor him.”

However, it only took Otoya a few drinks for him to make a scene. Staggering over, he insisted, “F/N, come home with me.”

F/N took a step back and looked at him coldly. “Otoya, maybe you forgot, but we broke up.”

“But I never agreed to it.” Otoya stared at F/N intensely. “So, you're still my fiancee.”

Suddenly, the sound of clapping came from behind F/N.

“This is the first time I heard a break-up needing mutual consent.” Chigiri snorted.

“Why do you keep butting into things between F/N and me, Chigiri?” Otoya scowled. “What I do is none of your business.”

Chigiri took his place next to F/N, separating her from Otoya. “Ready to go?” he tightened his hold on F/N's waist.

“Let's go.” F/N let Chigiri take her away.

Behind him, Karasu commented by the punch bowl. “Seems like F/N doesn't fancy you anymore, Otoya. Looks like she's with Chigiri now.”

“No way.” Otoya protested. “F/N's just doing this to piss me off. The more she acts up, the more she still cares about me. Just wait. I know how to make her come back to me.”

The next morning...

Chigiri and F/N were preparing breakfast when F/N's phone rang; it was Aryu, one of Otoya's good friends who also knew F/N quite well.

“F/N, Otoya has a fever, but he doesn't have any medicine at home.” Aryu spoke. “Can you buy some medicine and check on him?”

“Why don't you ask the girl who was on top of him the night before the engagement to bring the medicine?” F/N snorted. “By the way, Aryu, Otoya and I already broke up. So, don't come to me for anything related to him again.”

On the other end of the speaker, a cup shattered.

Otoya gritted his teeth, “F/N, my patience is limited. Take the hint and don't push it.”

At this moment, Chigiri cut in, ladling in clam soup. “F/N, breakfast is ready.”

The next second, Otoya shouted furiously, “F/N, you'd rather have breakfast with Chigiri than come see me?”

“Yes,” F/N answered matter-of-factly. “What's the problem?”

“Don't think I can't manage without you.” Otoya got even angrier. “I can find countless others like you.”

F/N couldn't be bothered with his raving, so she hang up on him.

A few days later...

F/N received a call from Kaori, “Did you get back with Otoya?”

“What?” F/N blurted out, confused and then received a picture of Otoya holding another girl and kissing her. The girl only showed half her face, but both that half face and dressing style looked a lot like F/N. F/N also received a screenshot from Kaori of the picture's comments: Did you get back with F/N? Looks like you won the bet, F/N still came back to you. See, F/N can't live without you.

Otoya himself left a vague comment: Of course, she'll always be mine.

F/N typed back a reply to Kaori: The girl isn't me. Otoya is doing this on purpose. He wants everyone to think that woman is me.

Kaori's message was sent a few minutes later: I have something to confess when you went aboard for a break. Chigiri came to ask me about your whereabouts. Every time you moved, Chigiri flew to check on you. Did you really not run into him aboard?

“I did visit you.” Chigiri looked at the messages over F/N's shoulder. “But I have no intention of disturbing you. I had to make sure you were safe.”

Afterwards, F/N invited Otoya out for a talk, asking him to clarify that the girls in his posts were not her.

Otoya's reply was a simple shrug, “I never said they were you. They just guessed; I have no control over their thoughts. I don't have the time to explain to each person and whether I explain or not is up to me.”

“Otoya, don't push your luck.” F/N frowned.

“F/N, just come back to me and everything will be fine.” Otoya replied.

“I told you we're already broken up.” F/N reminded. “What do you want?”

“The day after tomorrow.” Otoya laid out his condition. “Come celebrate my birthday with me.”

On Otoya's birthday...

The private room was packed when F/N pushed the door open.

“F/N truly wants to reconcile with you.” F/N overheard one of Otoya's female friends say. “Look at the expensive gift she gave.”

“Since we've been together for so long, of course she still loves me.” Otoya was confident.

One of his friends spotted F/N and cheerfully called out, “F/N's here. Make some room for her.”

“No need.” F/N refuted. “I'll just stand for a bit and leave soon.”

Otoya's face darkened for a moment, “F/N, come sit.”

F/N ignored him and proceeded to address everyone at the party. “Since there are so many people here, I want to make things clear today. Otoya and I have completely broken up. I've already posted a video in the group chat, explaining the reasons. Feel free to watch.”

The ones who had watched the video knew it was of Otoya kissing Momo passionately.

“From now on, don't associate me with Otoya again.” F/N scanned the room. “The person in Otoya's photos isn't me. Ask him who it is.”

Having made her point, F/N turned her heel to leave and Otoya followed her out. He grabbed her and pushed her against the wall.

“Do you really think you stand a chance with Chigiri?” Otoya let out mocking chuckle. “Look at this.” he showed the trapped F/N a photo in Chigiri's wallet. “Everyone says this is Chigiri's first love. Doesn't she look a lot like you? You thought he genuinely wanted you around? He's using you as a substitute. F/N,” he caressed her cheek. “Why don't you understand? Only I truly love you. Everything I did was to bring you back to me.”

F/N simply jerked her knee up and nailed Otoya in the crotch. With Otoya kneeling over in pain, she made her escape.

Downstairs...

“Let me take you home.” Chigiri was already waiting by his car.

“Chigiri, the photo in your wallet,” F/N started. “What's the story?”

Chigiri flushed and looked away; the girl in the photo wore a long, flowing white empire dress, her chest-length hair was secured into a bun with a black camellia kanzashi and she was playing on a piano on stage in a shopping mall.

“Are you there...?” F/N breathed in surprised, recalling she had been in junior high school, Christmas shopping with her mother when she espied the piano on the stage and decided to give an impromptu performance.

“Yeah, I was.” Chigiri tightened his grip on the steering wheel.” My sister teased me quite a bit for that.”

On Valentine's Day...

Otoya sat in the bar with a dark face, drinking continuously as he watched the lovey-dovey couples; he didn't understand why F/N wouldn't come back to him. At first, when he found that photo in Chigiri's wallet, he thought it was F/N, but he realized it wasn't: F/N couldn't play the piano. He thought if he could find a stand-in for F/N, perhaps Chigiri also saw F/N was someone else's stand-in, so he told her about it, just to wait for her to come back to him. The first day, he was confident, waiting for F/N's call, but he didn't get it. After a week, he found he was still on F/N's black list. He thought about forcing her to come back, so he started high profile relationships with various girls to make her jealous. But now, two months had passed and there was still no reaction from F/N. He didn't know what went wrong.

Karasu coaxed him, “Why don't you call her and ask?”

“Who wants to call her?” Otoya retorted, still prideful. “I kindly reminded her that Chigiri's no good. Now you want me to call and beg her to come back? Fine. If she wants to cry when she realizes she's been duped, let her. All right. For the sake of how much she used to love me, I'll give her one last chance.” he pulled out his phone to make the call.

Elsewhere...

When the call came, Chigiri and F/N had just returned from the hospital, both in a daze as the doctor's voice echoed in their minds: How can you be so careless when you're already one month pregnant? Luckily, the baby is fine.

“This is all your fault.” F/N pouted at Chigiri.

“Yes, it's all my fault.” Chigiri couldn't control his happiness, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Back home...

“F/N, you can still come back now.” Otoya's call came through after Chigiri laid F/N onto the bed to rest. “I can break up with her.”

“F/N's pregnant.” Chigiri answered the call. “Stop bothering her.”

At the bar...

Otoya froze, “Chigiri, you stole my woman.” he sneered, only to find Chigiri had ended the call and had his number blocked.

“What happened?” Karasu asked, scared.

“Chigiri answered F/N's phone.” Otoya spat. “He said F/N is pregnant. He has to be lying, right? No,” he shook his head. “It must be fake. F/N knows she's a stand-in. With her pride, she wouldn't stay with Chigiri. She must still be lying to me; unsatisfied with my recent actions. I should listen to you; yes, I should talk to her nicely. I'll buy a gift to coax her.”

Afterwards...

F/N went back home to pack up some clothes to move into Chigiri's place, only to find Otoya holding a gift box in a bouquet and standing at her door.

“F/N, I'm sorry.” Otoya apologized once he saw her. “I've been so reckless and excessive lately. But no matter what, it was all because I love you. Can you forgive me? Look, I've bought you the pendant you always wanted.”

F/N laughed bitterly, “And what am I even doing it it now? If there's nothing else, you can leave.”

“F/N,” Otoya started, his eyes blazing with a crazy obsession. “I know you've always been upset about that night before our wedding. I slept with Momo, right? It wouldn't have happened if she hadn't seduced me. How about I make her apologize to you?” he then dragged Momo out from the emergency exit. “Will this make you happy? Can you forgive me now?”

F/N didn't dare make a move against the deranged Otoya and secretly texted the police and contacted Karasu.

“I was wrong, too.” Otoya suddenly slapped himself twice. “I shouldn't have betrayed you. Come back to me. Are you really pregnant with Chigiri's baby?” he focused on F/N's belly. “I told you he's just using you as a stand-in. Why would you rather be someone standing than get back together with me? But, it's okay.” he smiled. “We don't need this baby. We'll have our own. Be good.” he purred, trapping F/N against the wall. “It won't hurt for long.” he tightened his fist and aimed at F/N's belly.

A heavy thud suddenly sounded and Otoya collapsing to the ground with blood steaming from his forehead; Momo had grabbed the fire extinguisher to smash it against Otoya's temple.

“I owe you one.” Momo offered as an explanation.

“It's over now.” Chigiri rushed into the scene, holding F/N tightly.

Months later...

With the matter of Otoya and Momo settled, Chigiri threw a grand wedding, with his sister handling most of the preparations.

[fainthedcherry]

SOOO I went "SCREW IT POSTING THIS DOODLE BC I FELT LIKE IT"... AFTER LIKE...YEARS OF NOT DOING A SPONTANEOUS DOODLE UPLOAD WOW,,

Alex + Mushu (OCs) ft. the 4 official 2012 torts!!!

I've been in turtle-fever as you can tell,,, I finished this last week actually!!! I was doodling Marco and Niraj this week instead. BUT ALAS...HAVE A POST!!! HOLY CRAP GUYS I'M NOT DEAD AND I'M POSTING FREQUENTLY THIS MONTH!! AND ACTUALLY EXPRESSING MY INTEREST IN FANDOMS FOR ONCE AGAIN!! I might post something TMNT related Tuesday again!! ;D

No srsly why tf is it so hard for me to draw official characters instead of only drawing OCs, it's a curse for me sefklsdlkg

JUST AN IDEA I HAD TO DRAW THIS...NOTHING REALLY SUPER COMPLEX CAME TO MIND. Instead, I accidentally made the doodle w/ Raph 3-VP perspective, had to fix a bunch of lines, gave up on others. THIS WAS DRAWN WO/ A RULER AND YOU CAN TELL. SO DON'T MIND CRAPPY PERSPECTIVE INCONSISTENCY. I swear I can actually draw perspectives like a professional, I just choose to spend as little time as possible on paper. I hate drawing traditionally on paper, but I still force myself to stay in-practice, bc I get more organic ideas through that way. References are more of a digital-art thing for me...AAaaa dsrgrgkloj

I'm REALLY proud of Mikey here!!! My fav boi looks rlly good here,,, 😭

This is only like the 3rd time I've ever drawn these boys in my life!! I think this is a not bad start toward my cringe-embracing era. xD

Hope you don't mind me adding tags of the boys!! I just,,, am so happy I'll be able to!!!!!!!!!! JUST. JUST FINALLY I'VE DRAWN THEM IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY I FINALLY DARED TAKE THE STEP

Also adding TMNT OC tags,, hope you don't mind, I'm not trying to shill I swear, I just really like tagging my art honestly. 😭

[99corentine]

Corentiiiine!

First of all I want to say that I love love love Gol Hah Dov! Definitely one of my absolute favourite fanfics of all time. I'm on my 5th or so reread at the moment and love it just as much as when I first ready it. The way you write the relationship between Miraak and Chrysanthe scratches that fated-enemies-to-lovers itch perfectly.

I loved GHD so much that it has inspired me to start writing my own Miraak/LDB fanfic, I have read most of fics available but want more! I have been planning it for ages (an embarrassing amount of time and many, many notebooks in fact) but have just started writing it out officially. The first chapter is very nearly done, and I have plotted up to the final act, but I just wanted to ask how you found the writing process and managed to keep motivated? I haven't evenn published it yet, but I'm already worried that it won't hold up to the other fics out there, especially one as amazing as GHD. I also fear I have bitten off quite a lot with the amount I want to write, and keeping momentum may be difficult.

Thank you again for sharing Gol Hah Dov with us! I look forward to reading Tooth for a Tooth, Tavstarion is another favourite ship of mine and if it's anything like your other fics I'm sure to love it!

Hello, and thank you so much for such wonderful words! I too have been re-reading GHD as I'm proofreading it one last time at the moment, and it's been interesting to see how my writing style and preferences have changed over the course of the story. I'm very proud of how it turned out, and endlessly bowled over by how many people have come forward to tell me they liked it. My dumb self-indulgent story about a 2011 game! It's crazy that it's had so much attention.

You can never over-plan for a story, so having a number of notebooks worth of planning is a great start! I would say you'll want to write the first few chapters before publishing it, just to assure yourself that you're going to keep writing - I have written loads of stuff I was sure would turn into an epic longfic and I never made it past chapter one or two, sometimes it's just like that. When you're confident you'll keep going, publishing it will then motivate you to do more.

I've covered a little of my writing process in this guide I knocked together (which you may have already seen). I'd say specifically for writing motivation, these three things work for me:

Absolutely DO NOT discuss the plot or story arcs in great detail with anyone, as mentioned in my guide this will demotivate you to actually create a finished piece of writing. Holding onto that cool plot thing you want to show to the world and what people's reactions to it might be will fuel you to Write The Thing

Sometimes it's hard to get stuff down on paper, and when that happens eventually I just brute force it: sit down, no distractions, no phone, and force myself to write something, anything, even if it's garbage. I kind of hold myself hostage sometimes, e.g. I'm not allowed to watch this TV show/play this game/do this other project until I've worked on this one

It's helpful to break writing down into smaller chunks. You mentioned you've bit off a lot, can you break it down into story arcs or segments? If you do you'll be writing not to the end (a distant and unattainable-feeling finish line), but just to the end of the next story arc, which is less daunting.

As for quality, I wouldn't worry about that because you'll improve over the course of your story. I loved the events in the early chapters of GHD (scary Miraak is my favourite Miraak) but I think the writing of the later chapters is much, much technically better, because writing so much made me improve. We're also our own worst critics, of course! So your writing is likely better than you think, and it can only grow.

Best of luck to you with it! A longfic is no easy endeavour (and Tooth for a Tooth is probably going to be enormous too...) and it takes a lot of patience and perseverence, but I believe in you!

[doodleferp]

Hell on Earth January Update!

I have promised updates about Hell on Earth, and I am delivering it with a bitchin' new poster! First, a quick TLDR for those of us who don’t want to scroll through the whole post:

Issue 2's script is awaiting editing. Issues 3 and 6 is currently being beat-sheeted. All of the issues' general plots have been beat-sheeted.

Thumbnailing has begun for Issue 2 and Issue 6. Concept sketches for the covers have begun. Character reference sheets will come out within the next month or two.

Because I don't fully trust myself to get sufficient content completed by the end of the year, I may push the official release days to December 2025. The quarterly release schedule will stand no matter what.

Issue 1 will be pre-released at the Small Press and Alternative Comics Expo in April 2025 — along with The Book of Haborym.

What is this comic? How did it come about?

Hell on Earth was initially my senior capstone, but I got really attached to it and wanted to make more. Unfortunately, I kept writing the same plot over and over and kept making the same mistakes, so I got really depressed and tried to scrap the whole thing in favor of a new plot. Ove winter break, I made an entirely new plot, cast, script, and thumbnails. I was ready.

Then on January 8th, 2024, I was dragged down a hill by one of the family dogs and I fractured the two bones in your ankle that will not heal on their own. Surgery was required, I was forced to pull out of what would have been my final semester, and I relearned how to walk over the summer. It was a mess, I was a mess, it was horrible.

However, it did give me an opportunity to pay more attention to the capstone. With that time I spent being unable to walk, I started to move back to what I'd originally conceived, now having a fresh start and read all the Walking Dead comics and watched Romero's Living Dead films. And now I've created something that I am not only obsessed with, but am dying to share with the world.

What can we expect from Hell on Earth?

Zombies! Zombies lurking around, stalking us, looming in the background. Because at the end of the day, this is a zombie story. Hell on Earth is going to be a relatively slow burn for the spook side of things, but it will be showing more and more of its face as the story goes on.

I'm planning to do six issues per story arc, and as of now I only want to start with one or two. I have enough material for a second and third run, and if all goes well, I'll get more of my plot ducks in a row. This first run is like an introduction to the world, but it's also a story that can be read on its own.

Where will Hell on Earth be sold?

I'm still figuring that out. I have yet to update my own personal website (I love that Wix wants me to shell out $30 a month to sell things on my own damn site), so I'm open to suggestions and currently searching for a place to sell it. I'm leaning towards selling it on Amazon (boo, hiss) until I have enough money to sell it over my Wix site.

You mentioned pushing the release date back. Why?

I don’t know if I trust myself to finish enough issues by the release date. ADHD is hard to manage on its own, especially when you’re trying to force yourself to get five more issues done over the course of a year and three months. I’m trying hard, but aside from the wonderful pro bono help of my editors, I am making this thing entirely on my own. I’m doing all the writing, penciling, inking, coloring, lettering, and printing, and it's all coming out of my own (jobless) pocket. This is going to take a while. The bottom line is that I want to deliver a quality comic and I want to figure out the workflow that will help me get this done in a timely manner so I’m not turning this into another Book of Haborym.

Why are you still doing the prerelease if you think you'll push this back?

Issue 1 is completely finished. Like, absolutely 110% done. This isn’t a Book of Haborym situation where I’m sorta done with it and still touching it up so I can sell it. It’s done. And since I've already posted about this, I figure it's not worth making people wait more for a thing that's already finished.

I'm lucky enough to have been given a table at the Small Press and Comics Expo here in Columbus with the rest of CCAD's comics seniors. A certain amount of Issue 1 copies will be sold there, along with copies of The Book of Haborym. Yep, that's right. I've finally finished up that goddamn book!

Thank you to everyone who’s supported me in the journey of creating this! I have very high hopes for the way the series could go. And just so y'all aren’t scrolling for nothing, here’s some sketches for future covers!

[littlelesbianwriter11]

From the ask game,

11 14 13 16 17 19 22 26 and 27

sorry if that's too much or you already got asked any 😺

You can never ask too many! I literally never want to shut up 😆 Thank you so much!

11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

When others enjoy it. Of course I write for myself, too, but a lot of what inspires me to write is hearing from other people. Otherwise, the ideas would just live in my head, and I'd play them out like that. If even one other person likes it at all, then I feel like I've accomplished what I set out to do: write something entertaining.

13. Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

No, I actually am a college dropout 😆

I always liked writing, but any time I tried to do it formally, they made me write about stuff I didn't care about. The only reason I passed English classes was because my spelling and grammar were really good. As far as publishing goes...that just seems WAY too intimidating, and I don't really write in novel form. My stories are more like movies...because I watch movies a lot more than I read actual books.

14. What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

ALL OF THE ABOVE! Honestly, I'm a stats fiend. I love when people talk to me, and I love when people click a button to say they like my stories. I notice and love it all, especially because I know it can be a little nerve wracking to reach out in any way, even if it seems simple (like giving kudos on AO3).

16. What do you struggle with most when writing?

ADHD with a heavy side of self doubt. It takes me FOREVER to get started sometimes, and then when I finally do, I'll write a long chunk and immediately think, "That was so stupid. Nobody's going to like this." And I'll just barely keep myself from deleting everything. My wife constantly hyping me up while I write gets me through the process, and then all the nice comments/kudos/etc. keep me going once the stories are out there.

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

So generally, I feel proud of how much thought I put into my characters. I do a lot of, "But why would Regina do that? Why would Cady say that? Why would this version of Cady say that?" and I feel like my characterization is pretty good because of that. I don't feel like I fall into the trap of, "Well, I need this plot point to happen, so this character has to do this." I'll throw out a plot if I feel like it doesn't make sense with the characters as I've written them.

On a more specific note, I was proud of how much Mean-ish Girls ended up paralleling the movie, because that was sort of by accident at a couple of points, and I just ran with it and made it a "What If" sort of thing.

19. How do you get over writer's block?

I usually talk about stories a lot with my wife, and if that doesn't work, I jump to another WIP for a while, then come back to whatever my "main" story is at the time. If it gets really bad, I force myself not to write for a day or two, and by then, I've usually come up with something to write for one of my stories.

22. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

I usually just do a lot of fist pumping and clapping, because I'm always super happy when I finish one. I may have had a drink after finishing The Sex Lives of Mean Girls, but I don't totally remember. I'm definitely taking myself and my wife out for a nice dinner if/when I finish the longer story that I'm working on (it's at 60,000ish words and has needed a lot of love and editing as the characters just started doing stuff and I had new ideas...and I don't even know if I'm halfway, so I'll be REALLY proud of myself when that one is done).

26. Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?

Depends on the story. All of the ones I've posted were either jump-right-in or I just talked through a general plot with my wife. A lot of the ones that I'm working on now have outlines that I loosely follow, but they do get changed as I get new ideas/if something isn't working as the actual writing happens.

27. Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

There are bits and pieces in my stories that I pull from my actual life.

Cady's mom in TSLOMG is sort of inspired by my own. Before she passed away, she LOVED my wife, so Betsy's love for Regina heavily borrows from that

Go With The Flow had a college orientation that was pretty similar to mine (minus meeting a hot girl to hookup with, unfortunately 😆)

World Record had my love of speedrunning Tony Hawk's Pro Skater games (I wrote Cady as MUCH better than myself)

More Than Enough had my love of scars. I think they're cool for pretty much the same reasons that Cady thinks they're cool in that story

The cat in CDS is inspired by several of my cats over the years, from loving spinach, to sleeping on the kitchen counter, to screaming outside of my door (multiple cats I've adopted did this), to so many of the other things that cat did. I love every cat I've had, and I tried to incorporate something from each one.

Wow...answering so many of these has been amazing! Thank you again!!!

From this ask game

[mslanna]

Happy New Year or Something

Here I am, for now with what will have to pass for New Year's Resolutions.

1. Less AuDHD exhaustion

I will take a closer look at all the things I do and how much energy they take and make sure I don't overdo. That will suck because there is not much I can do to make work less exhausting. I had a great streak last summer where there was about nothing to do. Did wonders for my mental health. But I am already seeing the exhaustion creep in at the corners.

I will observe it (and me) and I will find a way to reduce it. Making my reduced hours official will be one step. Maybe I can get more than 2 hours per week less for the same pay. Here is hoping.

2. Less beating myself up

I'm still very good at it. Therapy helps me to do it less but I am Very Bad at finding out what the actual problem is and get hung up on symptoms. Being kind to myself is great (and helps a lot) but it won't work unless I understand where to be kind and to apply changes that help.

Like, telling myself it's fine is one thing. But telling myself where it comes from and why it happened and that it is fine because I am still learning myself and it will pass and next time I will do better because I now know – that is better help for me.

3. Therapy

I am not very good at therapy, but my therapist is so we are making progress. Small, erratic and unpredictable, but it is there. I note at the strangest times. I am happy about what we achieved already.

I will keep going. Whatever issues will pop up, I will tackle them best as I can and work on them as much as I can and it will be a little better afterwards.

4. Trans

It will take so fucking long but by the winds, I will get it done. A first appointment with an endocrinologist will be in August. My gynaecologist sees me in two weeks. I don't even know when to start scheduling consultations for the surgery in specialised hospitals.

This is dragging its feet and I hate it.

But at the end waits a body that matches my identity so I will plod on. At the moment, it is the issue that gives me the most breakdowns. I may or may have googled "boob guillotine". And it takes so much more effort to care for a body not yours. 😔

5. Writing

I shall finish the last BG3 fanfic. I fucking well will.

I will get the best and most out of my WriteHive mentorship.

If allowed with the above, I will self-pub my first novel. And novelette.

I will probably write another book. I tend to do that. I won't force it. Once the mentorship is over, I hope to et my hands on The Losing Game again. Need to dissect that bitch and put the pieces together correctly. Getting Shadows at Night or Sava II over the 1/3 and 2/3 marks would be good, too.

6. Gaming

I'll finish Veilguard and do some more romances. Lucanis is on the menu. As is Harding and maybe Emmrich. Taash keeps gutting me unexpectedly. I love that Qunari. Actually surprised I finally got a Qunari to romance I want to romance.

Get back to Baldur's Gate three and finish a Melta run with patch 7.

Melta runs in the other 3 Dragon age games. Finish the Melta run of Mass Effect.

7. Sewing

Sew some more trousers. And some more light summer trousers. The thin fabric wasn't made to last. 😔

Learn to let go. I have sewn many items I do not wear. I have to let them go somehow. (Not the shirts I just need – no boobs for. I will hang on to those until I have no boobs.)

Another cosplay. Maybe the paladin (oath of devotion) from Baldur's Gate pre patch 7. I can't believe they changed the colours: I do not like the new colours. Maybe the blue coat my Rook wears in Veilguard. Both would be very difficult. But I like a challenge in cosplay.

8. Joy

There are many good things coming for me. Holiday with my sister, meetings with friends, conventions. I will enjoy the fuck outta them. I will plan many more good things. This is my life and I will shape it into something I love doing. 😤

[gingerjunhan]

Hiii!! It's 🧈 anon.

So umm I'm having a whole thing rn. I was ftm right, then I was trying to force myself to be cis?? And now I'm ftm again??????

Idk, but anyway, I have a whole request that has been bubbling at my mind for Jun han. Here it is:

So reader is a model, but they're like the opposite of the Korean beauty standards. Superrrr muscular, tattoos, brown skin, and just radiates a lot of confidence and dominance (not in a weird way 😞)

But basically xdinary heroes is doing a collab with a magazine and Jun han is paired with one of the magazines models (reader) and they end up exchanging numbers and such.

How would Jun han do in a relationship with a model that can just like, pick him up and throw him over their shoulder

Sorry if this is all over the place😿

Love, 🧈 anon

☆彡 🧈anon, I really like this idea! Thanks for sending it in :) hope you’ve been feeling okay, and sorry it took me a while to get around to this one (college 👎🏻)

word count: 818 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff | cws: nothing serious lmao, Hyeongjun being awkward, I don’t understand modeling lingo, this was ACTUALLY PROOFREAD SOMEBODY CLAP!!!, lmk if I missed something!

You were used to being the one to turn heads in the studio. Compared to all your fellow models, you always managed to catch people’s eye. However, today seemed to be different.

You were a commonly reoccurring model in a popular Korean magazine, so you’ve seen your fair share of celebrities amongst your pages. But the studio was currently buzzing- seeing that today was the first time you actually got to model with the celebrities themselves.

Today, you were modeling with Xdinary Heroes, to help them promote their newest album, so naturally all eyes were on them. It was somewhat nice to have the attention turned off of you for a chance. You didn’t exactly fit the beauty standards in Korea; with your darker complexion and muscular build. You were typically the center of attention (for better or for worse), so this was a nice change of pace.

You were getting the finishing touches of your hair and makeup done, and you happened to be sitting next to one of the guitarists, who was currently going through a similar process as you. You’ve heard of his band before, but you couldn’t put a name to his face. You tried not to make it obvious that you kept stealing glances at him in the mirror, but your sneaky attempts were futile as he managed to make eye contact with you. Wordlessly, he sent you a smile.

☆

“Okay everyone,” your manager called as you, the other models, and the band all awaited instruction. “I have you all paired up together, so wait until I call your name to get your duo shots done! First up, let's have Hyeongjun and (Y/N).”

You got up from your chair and made your way onto the set. Diverting your attention towards the camera, you watched as the guy from before got up from his chair, following your lead and taking his place beside you.

“Hi,” you decided it was finally time to introduce yourself. “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi,” he smiled again, sticking out a hand. “Hyeongjun. It’s nice to meet you too.” You shook his hand, returning his smile. You couldn’t help but notice how nervous he seemed.

“Are you excited for the shoot today?” The photographers were still doing last-minute preparations, so you were hoping to ease his nerves before the shoot officially began.

“Uh, yeah,” he answered. It sounded more like a question. “I’m excited to be here, I’m just not used to being in front of the camera much. Not in professional settings like this, anyway.”

“No? Don’t you do photo shoots for your albums?”

“We do,” he admitted. “But it’s typically just the six of us. We’ve never done this with professionals before.”

“Well, you’re gonna do great,” you reassured him. “Lucky for you,” you motioned over yourself, “you’re in good hands.” Hyeongjun laughed a bit at your joke, and then the photographers announced that they were finally ready to start the shoot. You and Hyeongjun were put into all types of poses together, laughing with each other along the way. There were some awkward moments, but you managed to get some great shots overall. After the photographers were satisfied, you both were sent off so the next duo could have their pictures taken.

You had gone off to get yourself some water down the hall from the dressing room. As you were getting ready to leave, you bumped into Hyeongjun.

“Hey,” he started. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to barge in. I should’ve knocked first.”

“It’s okay, the door wasn’t locked so you’re good to come in.”

You both smiled at each other for a second. You could tell that there was something Hyeongjun wanted to say, but he didn’t make an effort to do so. He was scanning over you, his eyes going from yours to your broad shoulders and back again. You decided to try and help.

“Do you want a water? There are some over there in the fri-“

“Can I get your number?” He interrupted. You both looked at each other, wide-eyed. Hyeongjun cleared his throat. “I mean, if it’s okay with you, I’d like to get to know you some time.” He fiddled with the ring on his finger, avoiding your eyes. You smiled at him.

“Sure. That sounds nice.”

He looked up at you, meeting your eyes once again. He smiled as you went to retrieve your phone. You handed him the device, and he quickly put his own number into your contacts. You decided to send him a quick message.

hey, it’s (Y/N). meet me tuesday for lunch?

Hyeongjun felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out to look at your message. You watched in amusement as a light pink dusted his cheeks. He turned to meet your gaze once again.

“I guess I’ll see you Tuesday,” he smiled.

“It’s a date.

[awaknmyheart]

Rosaline's 2025 watch list / movie diary

I do think that I want to keep track of the movies I am watching in this year.

I watched Mirror, on January first. We partied all night! We danced till four in the morning with my closest family. I feel so grateful to have had such a great time. I didn't feel worried that night (about the future again). I slept in but woke even earlier up than my mother. She stayed in her bed for the entire day. Wich resulted in me feeling forced to also lock myself in. Not in the good way.

Excited for the upcoming movie premiere of Nosferatu, I searched for every Nosferatu, Robbert Eggers and cast interviews. I did this for many hours until I stumbled on the criterion video of Willem Dafoe. He recommended Mirror, the movie that has been on my watch list for many years. I emidiatly recognised the dvd cover. This was such a small reminder to just try things out. And after years of wanting to watch it. Right there in that moment I finally did just that.

On January, second Nosferatu (2024) officially premiered in the Netherlands!

I got very lucky with the seating availability. Even after drabbeling if i should watch it alone or not. And even after changing my ticket last minute. I still managed to get the perfect seat. (Row 7, seat 15) I took myself out on a solo date to the imax theatre in Amsterdam. I enjoyed those few hours out and took the last metro back to home.

Today January 18th I watched my third movie of this year. La belle personne. Yes, I did watch it because of that one scene of Louis Garrel looking so in love when listening and looking to Junie ( Léa Seydoux) . She was reading an Italian poem and the French translation. This is what acting is to me, no, maybe there wasn't even acting involved. But I love it when you can see the emotions in the actor's eyes. The eyes and the micro expressions, It's really subtle but it felt so real to me.

Its an interesting exploration of love and the ending left me with a feeling, ..that i don't have the words for to describe.

After finishing the movie I just had to watch the ending scene once again. And since someone dropped the exact filming locations as a youtube comment. I think that I'll walk these streets, when I'm visiting Paris again!

Up next is probably the rest of the triptych: Dans Paris et Les chansons d'amour.

Not a movie but The Trunk is what I've been watching lately, started on January 30th

[pinselluchs]

Some Personal Life Updates

The year is not even over but it sure feels like I've done more than a years worth of activity.

When I first "joined the workforce" I ended up in a rather depressing position where I was mandated to be in the office for 40 hours a week without any practical work to do. I could neither sleep in my office nor do anything besides my "actual" work. I was in a constant state of bullshitting myself through. Having to do functionally nothing at your job really takes a toll on your psyche. Too much work is bad, but too little work is worse. Especially if you're in this situation for two years or potentially forever.

This spring, I switched my positions to a favorable but more stressful field... at the same pay. Helped me to honestly find purpose back in my line of work, something I can achieve and work towards. It's a lot of work and I'm very content for every hour of having to do nothing right now.

And you know what? I am on track! This is the right way. I did well!

Suffice to say, I've officially become technical team lead for two critical IT services at the same time. Things and people have become dependent on me, which is a feeling extremely hard to fathom. What does it mean that my existence and my work could potentially impact hundreds if not thousands of people? This is the first time in my life that I have true responsibility for more than just myself now.

Not only have I grown at and through work (and I am still continue to grow; more or less, I have finally started to grow again!), I can and do also grow through my private life, especially due to the furry fandom. This year alone, I went to the NordicFuzzCon for the first time and thought I'd need to volunteer the next NFC. It truly was quite the experience; something I need to treasure.

Shortly after that, I went to Amsterdam on my own accord, to Furry Weekend Holland, to Waldcon, Tropical Furry Islands, and to Vienna just because I could. And soon, I'll be heading to the USA for BLFC! All in one single year. I need to cut back on that so that I don't burn out. This is probably one of two weekends this year I've been "just at home". Let's just say I was forced to spend some paid-time off that I accrued... and I did well with it.

I have no clue what the future holds. I'm aiming for an important promotion (way more important than just being technical team lead). I am aiming for more cons, more photoshoots, more personal progression. Who knows, I got good aim, maybe I should do some military service. Me as a lieutenant, ha, it shouldn't have been - which is a story for a different time.

There is a word I've been hearing and using a lot recently. "Rotieren." "To be rotating", translated, is a phrase for being more than "just busy". It's having all your hands constantly active with no real opportunity to rest. As soon as you finish one project, another appears at the same urgency as the last one. You get things done, but those things take energy and effort, but are most certainly rewarding. I have not felt boredom in a long time. What even is boredom? There are always things to do, and they're certainly not getting less. What's important is to carry on, because what I am carrying is not only important to myself but seems to be more important to others as well, which is a rejuvenating feeling.

What I do starts to finally matter; it's a feeling I always wanted to achieve and now that I do achieve it, it's hard to realize that I have reached my goal. My work matters, my hobbies matter. I do things, they get noticed. Not on a global scale, that would be too much to ask for, but most certainly in my vicinity.

It starts to fill me with pride despite still having the "autistic onlooker" in me. More so, I feel like this gives me a sleight of hand in comparison to others. I can choose to play the game everyone else is playing because I can now know what game is played when. If I want to be noticed, I will be noticed. If I do not want to be noticed, I will be below all radars. I fear that luck may not be on my side but fate still feeds my arrogance so that I shall continue my ways.

What is there more to say other than I just wish to have more time? What I am currently doing is sufficient, it's more than enough for one human and it creates value. I want to do more, I feel like I need to do more. But I'm just one human, I only have two hands and one brain. If only I had the chance to clone myself, I would be unstoppable. For now, I still try to do everything at once so I won't progress fast in one field but slowly in all fields and I won't see that changing anytime soon. I'm still young, I got the energy, I just can't split myself. All I know is that I am rotating. I have improved drastically, I will continue to improve.

I do not know what my true fate is, but I feel like fate has led me to this exact point and I am right where I should be... for now!

I do not know where I will end up, but I did well, and I will do well. Pinsel - out.

[astrodrawsturtles]

My mans isn’t even an official father yet, but he is already Dad of Four Tired™

[im-ovulating]

Gosh i hope this works ^-^

I saw that your requests were open and thought "you know why not"

Soooo if you are up to it heres my idea:

"That scene in eclipse were Bella is with Edward on this Mountain because of the fight but switch bella with f/gn!reader and Edward with Jacob. Jacob holding reader warm etc"

Hope youll write it, have a lovely day/night <3

(A/n: so.. I actually wasnt going to do this simply bc I didn't want to have to copy down the dialogue, but then I got to thinking about the way I wanted the og story to go and decided to finally give myself and other members of Team Jacob what we've always wanted)

(I'm assuming by "switch bella with f/gn!reader and Edward with Jacob" you mean reader chooses Jake..)

(Side note: at the beginning, Edward hasn't proposed to you yet/you guys aren't official)

Hope you enjoy~❤️

Taglist: @lendeluxe

Navigation

Warnings: Liar Edward, that's about it..

Age Rating: None

Jacob Black x GN! Reader x Edward Cullen

------------------

The wind howled, whistling as it whipped around the small tent. Your teeth chattered even though you were bundled in countless layers of winter apparel and snuggled in a thick sleeping bag.

"I should've chosen a site lower down," Edward states from the other side of the tent.

"No, i-it's fine.. I'm ok-kay," you stutter out as you tuck the covers closer to your chin.

"What can I do?" He asks, a pained expression contorting his face.

A wolf howls off in the distance as the storm continues to rage outside the temporary shelter. The door unzips, letting in a gust of glacial air, and Jake quickly steps inside, zipping the tent back up behind him.

"I can't sleep with all that teeth chattering going on," his eyes shift to your freezing form.

His gaze stays on you for a second before shifting to Edward. With an unreadable expression, Edwards stares back.

"Forget it.."

"They may need their toes someday," Jacob fires back. "And let's face it.. I am hotter than you."

Jake starts toward you only for Edward's hand to shoot out and grab his shoulder, causing him to stop.

"Get your hand off me.." Jacob leers, eyes turning cold.

"Then keep your hands off them."

"Don't f-fight," you call out, trying to calm the two supernatural creatures before they tore the entire tent down.

Casting one last glare towards Edward, Jacob states, "If they gets sick, it's on you."

At that moment, you can't help the body wrenching shudder that passes through you causing you to involuntarily gasp from the force of it. Surrendering, Edward begrudgingly nods towards Jacob, signalling for him to enact whatever it was he had thought to do.

Unsure of what was about to happen, you watch as Jake moves toward you, slipping into the sleeping bag behind you. Upon feeling the scalding heat radiating off of him, you immediately curl into his chest; his arms coming to wrap around you and further tuck the bedroll against you.

"Wow, you're freezing, Y/n.. Relax, you'll warm up soon." Looking Edward in the eyes, he finishes, "Faster if you took your clothes off."

"Jake," you chide as your shivers start to dissipate.

"Survival 101," he says as he lays his cheek against your head, smirking.

All the while, you can feel Edward glaring holes into Jacob from across the space. Soon enough, you fall asleep, unaware of the conversation happening between the two boys.

.

"Can you at least attempt to control your thoughts?" Edward sneers at the werewolf.

"I really get under that ice cold skin of yours don't I?" He cocks his head at the vampire, "What? Are you doubting their feelings for you?"

When he doesn't respond Jake continues, "Nice.. so picking through my head's okay, but letting me into yours? forget it..

"Look, I know they're in love with you-"

"Well, good," Edward interrupts.

"-but they're in love with me too," looking down at you softly, he finishes, "they just won't admit it to themselves."

"I can't tell if you're right.." Edward responds, switching his gaze to the floor of the tent.

"Then let me ask you something," Jake startes. "If they choose me-"

"They won't," Edward interrupts.

"-if they do.. would you try to kill me?"

"That's an intriguing idea.." Edward chuckles. "..but, no; I couldn't hurt them like that."

"So you'd just turn them into a blood-sucking demon like you.." Jake nods his head condescendingly.

Turning indignantly towards the wolf, Edward argues, "I don't want that, I've never wanted that."

"So stop them."

"I tried; I left."

Meeting his gaze with fire, Jake states, "you gave up too quickly. If you'd stayed away another six months, I could have made them happy. Trust me, you have to consider.. that I might be better for them than you are."

"I have considered that. I know you can protect them; you can give them a life, a human life, that's all I want for them. I'm not.. I'm not going to force them into anything, ever again. Last time I tried, it almost killed us both."

"Yeah.. that I remember.."

Jake continues, "When you thought they were gone, that you'd lost them, how did you.. cope?"

"There are no words," Edward sorrowfully meets Jacob's gaze. "But I wouldn't wish it on anyone, Jacob.." he pauses. "This might sound odd.. but I'm glad you're here.."

Jake chuckles, "Meaning: 'as much as I'd love to kill you, I'm glad they're warm'."

Edward smirks and shake his head lightly, "If we weren't natural enemies, and you weren't trying to steal my reason for existing," he nods towards you, "I might actually like you.."

"Well, if you weren't planning on sucking the life out of the person I love, I might.." Jacob laughs quietly, "no.. not even then-"

At that Edward smiles to himself.

"-but they can still change their mind, ya'know?"

"Then I'd let them go.."

.

You woke up to an empty tent and decided to use the privacy to quicky get ready. Thankfully the storm had completely died down and all that was left was a beautiful layer of white snow across the mountaintop.

Stepping outside, a grey-brown wolf walks up to you, whom you recognize as Seth. As you greet the young werewolf, you see Edward make his way towards you.

"Where's Jacob? Did he already.."

"Not yet," he responds. "He's checking to see if the woods are clear before he goes."

Taking Edward's glance as a cue to leave, Seth bounds away into the trees, leaving the two of you alone.

"Sorry about last night, it couldn't have been easy on you.."

"It definitely won't make my list of top 10 favorite nights."

Chuckling disbelief, you ask, "You have a list?"

"All ten I spent with you.." He pauses, almost as if making sure of something before ending with, "Number one is when you said you'd marry me.. Mr/s/x. Cullen."

Before you can deny or ask Edward what the hell he was talking about, Jacob cleared the tree line.

"You're marrying him?"

Startled, you go to move towards him, but Jacob takes a step back, jaw set in anger.

"Jake, I.. No-" but he's already leaving.

Turning toward Edward you seeth, "You knew he was listening! Jake, stop-"

Reaching out to grab you as you start after Jacob, Edward mutters, "Y/n-"

"Don't!" Brushing him off, you continue down the incline to catch up with Jake.

"Jake, stop!"

Catching up to him you try again, "Jake, please-"

"I'm done. I'm so done."

"He- he was lying, " you desperately try stop him.

"Yeah, right.."

"What can I do?"

Turning to face you, he snarls, "you can't do anything, but I can. By going out there and killing something!"

"N-no! You're not thinking clearly, don't do that!"

"Maybe I'll get myself killed and make it simple for you.."

"No! Just.. Jake stay," you plead on the verge of panicking.

"Why?" He steps closer, "give me one good reason.."

"Because I don't want to lose you.."

Shaking his head, he says, "it's not good enough."

"'cause you're too important.."

".."

"Still not good enough," he turns to start leaving again.

Knowing there's only one thing you can say that will truly get though to him, you yell, "Jacob!"

He stops but stays facing away from you. Faltering as you know what this will mean, you can't help but to realize how easy the words come to you.

Taking a deep breath, you say it.

"Kiss me!"

He turns to face you, a look of apprehension on his face.

"I'm asking you.. to kiss me," you repeat as you meet his gaze.

Taking long strides to reach you, he hesitates before slamming his lips to yours. Kissing back, you bring your hands to tangle in his hair as both of his grip your waist. Pressed against each other on the mountaintop, cold air surrounding your heated bodies, you kiss until you're both out of breath.

Foreheads resting against each other, you breathe in each other's air as you catch your breath. Jacob's hand comes up to hold your face as he kisses you one more time.

"That should have been our first kiss.." he whispers. "I gotta go.. I'll be back."

He leaves to join the rest of the pack, leaving you to reflect on your choice, which, while made unexpectedly sudden, felt so right.

.

[jazzstarrlight]

Curtisson & Toppat-Neo Part.2

I shuffled up the driveway slowly as voices played in my head like flashbacks "The chief and right hand… I… I failed them all." "Welcome Back, Svensson." "Let's run away. Forget the Toppat's. Forget the Topcaps and your revenge!"

Making my way through the silent café; already locked up for the night, "It's Sven! Sven Svensson! Leader of the Toppat clan! The Toppat's you sent to the wall!" "I may be Swedish, but I'll whoop your ass like a Russian spy!" "And two, with a push of this button, I can blow your head SKY HIGH!"

And finally, taking off my shoes in front of the kitchen archway by the apartment entrance, "The heart of a man is more fragile than it looks."

My clothes feel heavy and wet with dark red stains. I think my arm is bleeding but I don't feel any pain. I don't feel anything. I was asked to do something unspeakable. Something that Toppats are supposed to avoid at all costs; not make it a mission! I protested this mission shouldn't even exist but Carol-I mean-Sir threatened to power up 'Burts new accessory' as she put it.

I just finished assassinating 5 government officials within 24 hours. Do I dare tell Burt? This is too much.

"Sven?" Burt came out of the bedroom, peering into my hollow eyes as I steadily regained consciousness. "My god, what happened to you!? Your clothes…"

He didn't finish before I fell into his arms, breaking down.

Sometime later, I had changed into comfortable and not-so-bloody clothes as Burt wrapped my wounds in gauze. I lightly sip my tea, after calming down.

Burt finished first aid and sat back with a hard sigh. "How are you feeling now? Willing to talk about your mission?" I stayed silent, gripping my cup tighter. "Alright. I won't force you if you're not ready to talk about it. Must've been one heck of a heist. It's ok, sunflower. Take your time."

He leaned me onto his shoulder, with a clear view of the shock collar. "I'm sorry."

"Hmn?" His neck vibrated. "Sorry for what?"

"For… For all of this. We… I should've just moved on as soon as we broke out of the Wall. But now… Now I… you…" I couldn't stop the tears from falling again.

Burt cupped my cheek to lift my head; eye to eye, "Shhhh. Sh, sh, sh, sh. Sven. There's nothing we could've done to stop Carol. She would've found us and pulled the same trick. In that 'what if' we'd be rustier than we are now. I think this is the better timeline."

That's right. "Timelines…" I sit up and start thinking. "What if… What if I get sensitive information to…" all of a sudden I feel queasy from the next words to come out of my mouth. "...to… Stickmin and the Government?"

The shock on Burt's face was not surprising. "You would be a mole!? Betray our friends?!"

"Friends!? They strapped a dog collar to your neck! Burt, Carol has changed. They all changed. The Toppats used to be honorable thieves. But the Neo-Toppats… there's no honour, no dignity, just cold and blood-thirsty eyes. Especially with that Clementine girl. They're all psychopaths or sociopaths…maybe even both!" I noticed myself getting louder and stopped.

Gazing down to my knees, In a hushed tone, "They ordered me to go on a murder spree today. Members of the conservatives. I mean… they deserved it, yes, but… it was a lot of blood."

A few seconds of silence pass and Burt finishes processing my rant. "Didn't you shoot up a school before joining the Toppats?"

An improper chuckle escaped my throat. "It wasn't up close. Face to face. Hearing those scumbags plea for their lives."

Burt pulled me in close. "If you do this, they will kill you."

"I'm aware of how dangerous this is. But it's the only way. We… I have to do something to stop Carol and I think I know just the file to get the Gov't on their feet."

——————————————————————————

The next day, I began leaking files to the Gov't. I first had to steal a copy of some files from the Toppat-Neo's computers and that night printed them off, slipping them into a tan file folder I labelled "BreadCrumbs/TopSecret/Danger."

Now, I have to figure out where would be the best place to drop this?

The Pilot's weekly routine hasn't changed since the time I stalked Triple Threat back in the Topcap days. I easily found him distracted in the chip aisle; mumbling to himself which bag would Henry like. I wore Burt's black hoodie and covered my head, walking passed and slipped the file into his basket, now watching at the end of the aisle.

Charle's P.O.V:

"Hmm. Henry's favourite seems to be sold out. I think he might enjoy the off-brand stuff maybe. We should be saving after all. Yeah, I'll get him the off-brand creamy dill." I reach over to pick up a few bags and turn to place them in my cart, noticing an unusual item on top of the pancake mix. "Hu?" I pick up the folder and open it. Paperclipped items and a sticky note that says "help" sit inside. My eyes widen, "It can't be…" looking around, I confirm that I'm alone and close the file. "The General really needs to see this."

Back to Sven:

I see Calvin rush out the store after purchasing his groceries, with the file in his bag. "It's done." The Gov't now knows the existence of Toppat-Neo. I may go down with them… But please…

Please save him, Henry Stickmin.

To be continued…

[ahjustroza]

I saw a hc post abt how Last Legacy love interests react to MC actually going back to Earth,so can I ask some hcs abt this one? I'm curious of what you come up with!!

I actually made the same request to @lucigucci !!

For this ask, I had to play the entire game once again because I couldn't come up with anything. Hope you'll like it!

MC Going Back to Earth Headcanon

Warning: Sad feelings and pain...

Anisa

Before giving in to her emotions she will make sure to not miss anything important for your return to Earth

She'll check with important magical necessaries for the portal

Check if you have everything you would possibly need

If you ate well

Will check twice everything she prepared for you to take with you to remember her

She will also give you the Orlando postcard

It is important to her but also you two shared many memories together talking about Earth looking at the postcard

She knows when you visit Orlando you will remember her

After she is done with everything

The realization of you actually leaving her will hit her HARD

She knew you for only months but fell for you in a way with no return

You became her breath

The meaning, the cause she wanted to live further

The center of her life

Her priority

Her peace

Her shelter, and safe place

If only she could stay in your arms for a little longer...

If only she could find a way to see you again

The smell your scent while she buried her nose to your neck

To your hair...

She misses you always

Even for a couple of minutes without you within her eyesight makes her feel troubled

She misses you to death before even you leave her...

She will use all her strength to not cry in front of you

But the moment you hugged her and kissed her the last time she broke

She never struggled like this

Never felt hurt like this

The devs mentioned that each character will have multiple endings, so I headcanon two different happy endings in this situation

One is being Anisa letting you go while she stays in Astraea

She knows that she might not be able to fit in

You are people of two different worlds

Quite literally

And it shows

Anisa however will never love again after you

She will refuse every potential partner both in her romantic life or in her bed

She will confess her feelings for you and give you her hair ribbon as well as the most painfully mesmerizing kiss...

The other ending being Anisa leaving Astraea with you.

She is half-human and can tell people that her marks on her face are tattoos on Earth

She will see this as an opportunity to start a new life

Without the guilt of who her parents are and what they have done

Without the danger of magical monsters or assassins tracking her all around

She is smart, a quick learner, and curious about Earth

With your support, she can get used to life on Earth and get a job

I am thirsty for Anisa as a workout or martial art trainer

But I can also see her going to college and finish it quicker than expected to work in a school

Counselor Anisa

You two will travel the world together

No matter the lifestyle you live Anisa is happy

She doesn't need a lot of money

All she needs is you

Also another surprise, she doesn't miss Astraea one bit

You are what she calls home now.

Sage

I am a Sage hoe myself but I can't see him leave Astraea with you

He can't fit in to Earth

He has to be free and living on Earth means he has to follow so many rules that he struggles to understand

Also Sage will absolutely refuse to leave Tulsi behind

There are only two people he actually cares about in this world

You and Tulsi

You two are his family and home

He is a family guy

And oh my god does he want to make his family larger secretly

Sage is a character that struggles with emotional confessions

He is also a good liar

So even tho he wants a future with you

If you want children, raise your children together (adopted/surrogacy/biological/a found family...)

Finally settling down and actually live in a home

Sage will experience the feeling of home with you the first time

He never felt safer and not worried about being vulnerable to someone

Having family dinners, family meetings with auntie Tulsi...

Celebrating anniversaries

Getting yourselves in trouble and moving to a different town

Even though he would fight the gods themselves to have this future with you, he will not tell you to stay

He will not say anything at all

He'll watch you and make sure to prepare everything for your return

And to make sure of your security during the process

You will look into his eyes each passing hour, hoping him to say something

Anything

But he will not

He'll only give you his signature soft half-smile with tired eyes

He will drink the entire day before your depart

Spend the whole night with you

Watch you sleep

Memorize your face

Your body

Will listen to your breathing

He will take everything he can get to never forget you

Also, cry too

Silently

Without you noticing

Tears will fall down to the pillow one by one

He wants to scream and tell you to stay but he can't force you to do anything you don't want

Any word out of his mouth might make you change your mind and do the opposite of what you want to do

You have a family too and you have to see them

A life you have to return to...

So if you don't say that you want to stay he will stay silent forever

If you choose to leave, do give him something to remind him of you

A necklace? Your laser pointer? Your foam sword?

He will carry whatever you give him with him

Always

Until the day he dies

Let's say you gave him a necklace, anyone who knew you will feel the pain in Sage when they see him still wearing the necklace after all those years...

He will never love again. It was a one-time thing.

He will not open up to anyone

He will not let anyone see the real Sage the way you did

He might have bed partners but it is not emotional

He is in pain and will either drink or throw himself somewhere to spend the night without thinking anything

But that can only happen if he is too drunk to remember what happened the night before

If you choose to stay, he will feel relieved

Guilty too but mostly relieved

He will build the future he desires with you

But will also look for ways to make you visit Earth and come back

Felix

I don't think Felix can fit in the Earth either

He grew up as the Arcmage's son and spent all his life studying magic

He can't live in a world where magic doesn't exist

He can't live a lifestyle where he will have to learn everything anew

I just think he is too sensitive for our world.

But unlike Sage and Anisa, Felix will ask you to stay

He'll ask you to stay and live a crazy but full of love life with him

He'll promise to take care of you since he is filthy rich

Then admit his fears of losing another lover

If you decide to leave he will feel betrayed and abandoned at first

He'll cry, then disappear for a while, then appear and tell you that you gave him a lot of hope

And disappear once again

He'll get drunk and then cry loudly too...

After Rime, you taught him how to love again

You made him feel safe and supported

Accepted for who he is...

You taught him how to properly love someone

No toxicity

No lies

No rivalry

He only wants to sleep in a bed in your arms around him not wake up for years

The idea of you leaving him hurts like someone stabs a dagger into his heart

He'll start to believe that this is his cruel destiny

To be the one stays while the other leave

He wants to follow you but he knows he can't live with you on Earth

He couldn't even fit in his own house yet...

Once he cooled down he'll admit how important your life back at home to you

And how it is his fault to steal that life away from you by bringing you to Astraea

He will open the portal for you himself

He is not trusting anyone else for this work

Before you leave he will tell you that he loves you and promise to never forget you

Here comes the pain

But he might fall in love again after you

You will always have a different place in his heart and in his memories though!

Felix did try to bring someone he fell for back from death then fall in love with someone else

I just think he will be more flexible with what life brings in front of him

And get even more depressed with time...

If you accept his offer and choose to stay his eyes will see nothing but you from that day and forward

You are officially his spouse now, no ceremony necessary

You will go on the vacation you both need and deserve then get a house to live together

You two will be the scary power couple

People will talk about you two as "the small necromancer and his spouse- yes the spouse. They are the one that fought the Lord of Shadows and the undead Rime. I also heard they got a relic the moment they stepped on Astraea- I KNOW it is crazy..."

Felix will share everything he owns with you, even his thoughts

He is so open to you that he knows you understand him the best

[tamcitrus]

vacation night

pairing: Benimaru Shinmon x f!reader

genre: nsfw (i really tried giving it a background, i really did)

warnings: spit play, spanking, slight dom/sub, breath play?, little degradation

words: 2.7 k

summary: working as a fire force officer you inevitably met and worked with the Seventh Company’s Captain and you grew a soft spot for him, so you went to visit him on your “vacations”

tam’s notes: it’s finally here, my first Fire Force fic. I knew as soon as I saw this man that I had to write for him. I hope my fellow Benimaru lovers enjoy reading this as much as I did while writing it.

tags: @writeiolite​ , @shinsotired​ , @loneveenas​ , @vventure​

"Ugh, you here again?" Benimaru walked past you and his friend, with the twins behind him. "I'm not interested in what you have to say, so please leave."

He was already in the next room when he finished talking.

"I'm sorry, he's… stubborn," Konro explained.

"Oh, don't worry, Konro-san. I can assure you I'm even more stubborn," you laughed. "Do you know a nice place where I can stay the night? I won't bother him now, I don't want to ruin your dinner."

"We have extra rooms, you can stay here if you like."

"Thanks. I'll take a look around the city and I'll be back," you smiled at the gentle man that made you company until now.

You walked around the city, bought some candies and went to sit by the river under the moonlight. A few minutes later you heard steps behind you and a big arm brushed yours when a person sat by your side.

"Why are you still here? Didn't I make myself clear?" Benimaru couldn't understand what it was about you that made him nervous.

"I'm not here for official business," you explained.

You were sitting on a bench facing the river and the man by your side had his back facing the river. You couldn't quite see the other's face but it wasn't necessary.

"I might apply for a new company," you whispered.

"We don't take people outside Asakusa," he anticipated.

"You don't."

"I'm not in charge."

"I'll ask Konro-san then."

"Tsk," he clicked his tongue and sighed. "Why―?"

"I like Asakusa. I'd like to be away from the Holy Sol Temple for a while…"

"Take some vacations," he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

You burst out in laughter. You couldn't believe a man this powerful could be so dense sometimes.

"I'm not making myself clear, I see. I'm here for you.”

He sighed. He had his suspicions and he was right.

“I don’t have time for this,” he answered.

You stayed silent. You had your suspicions too. Benimaru Shinmon didn’t look like a man interested in a relationship or any kind of romance. He had his job and his kingdom. And he was satisfied with it.

“Try not to wake up anyone when you come back to the headquarters,” he said as he walked away.

You smiled at him and observed his shadow disappear in the night. It was ok, you weren't hurt. It was just a simple crush on him, not like he was the love of your life or something. He could be but whatever.

You waited a few long minutes to stand up and walk back to the Seventh Company headquarter. Konro left a note with the room he had prepared for you and a little map to not get lost or get into someone else’s room, all of them marked with an X. You walked there and stared at the ceiling for another long period of time. You weren’t getting any sleep that night, you just knew, so you decided to leave. But you couldn’t leave without any notice so you wrote a note for Benimaru and walked to his door ―which Konro kindly pointed in the map with a different mark― to leave it there.

Once there, the curiosity bit you. You couldn’t hear anything, not even the slightest sign of his breathing, so you slowly opened the door to get inside and deliver your note.

It all happened so fast. You barely saw a flash of fire and then a hand in your throat had you pinned against the wall, without making a sound.

“Easy there, destruction king,” you said. He had your throat in one hand and your hand with the note in the other. “It's just me.”

“I could’ve killed you. What the fuck―?”

“Just wanted to leave a note before going my way,” you interrupted, as calm as you could with him all over you. “I didn’t think you would be so territorial.”

“Do you know how many people have tried something against me? Sneaking here and shit?”

“Pretty sure after a few tries they learned their lesson,” you joked.

“Are you leaving?” he asked without letting go even a little bit.

“I had a nice stay here today but I have to go,” you shrugged.

“What are you even wearing? In the middle of the night are you gonna walk out like this? Without a uniform?”

“A dress. Civilian clothes, Beni, I'm on vacation, remember? You should try it sometime,” you said, the pressure on your neck a bit lighter. “You’d look good without―”

Without your uniform, that's what you wanted to say. His mouth was over yours before you could mock him one more time. You made him come closer to you with your leg around his waist. He let go your arm and neck to grab your legs, you held to his shoulders to jump and cling to him. His torso had you against the wall as his hands explored your thighs.

You didn’t waste a second thinking about how he rejected you a few hours ago. You couldn't focus on anything else but his hands and his tongue, that wet muscle that was now tracing the veins from your neck to your shoulder. You moaned as his big hands grabbed your ass as hard as he could. He walked to his bed and let you fall there, as if you weighed nothing. You gasped when you felt your body hit his mattress. He was taking off his clothes without getting his eyes off of you for a second. It was almost like a lion stalking his prey before jumping to its neck to end the job.

“You’re big under all those oversized clothes,” you commented.

“You talk a lot,” he said.

“Want me to use my mouth for something else besides talking?” you smiled, you put up the most innocent smile that you could in that situation.

He sighed and rolled your dress up to your waist to position himself between your legs. You rolled your eyes at him even when he couldn’t see you. He bit your inner thigh and you closed your legs on pure instinct. You tried to, at least, but Benimaru’s hands held your legs at a safe distance from his head as he kept going up your skin and finally got to the point. He kissed your clothed clit and his mouth went up to your pelvis and belly until he met your dress again. He clicked his tongue and stood up to take your dress in his hands and ripped it apart, like it was a buttoned shirt.

You opened your mouth to complain but all you left out was a moan when you felt Benimaru’s mouth over your nipple. You tangled your hands in his hair and you were surprised by how soft it was. You threw your arm down between your bodies and took his erection on your hand to jack him off. He was… huge. Just like everything else on him, he was big and intimidating. His broad shoulders and chest, his big hands that could easily cover your whole face in one touch, he was just so powerful and big.

“What’s wrong?” he said and stopped to look at you. His different eyes looked at you through long locks of hair and even in the dark you could see a little blush on his face.

“Nothing,” you cleared your throat and moved your hand again before spacing out in your thoughts again.

Why get lost in a thought if you had the original one all over your body and kissing you in that same moment? You pulled his hair to hear him make some noise one more time, just in case you were dreaming. He growled when you moved your hips up and grinded your wet underwear against his bare dick.

“Just fuck me already, Beni,” you whispered on his ear as you tried to get rid of your underwear.

He helped you to get it off and then step back to admire your naked form on his bed. He also set your panty on fire, as if that little piece of fabric just did the most unforgivable thing to him. You giggled as you bent your knees and spread your legs open for him. He stood right in front of you again and took two of his fingers to his mouth and then to your pussy. You wiggled your hips at his touch so he rested one knee between your legs and put his other hand around your neck to try to keep you still.

You held to his bicep with both hands ―yes you needed both to get a hold around his arm― and moaned. You moved your hips desperately, silently begging for more. Without letting go of your throat he took his dick and teased your entrance, going up and down with his tip full of precum.

He could tease you like this the whole night just to watch you squirm and whine under his hands. But the reality was he wanted to fuck you just as much as you did. So he finally gave you -and himself- what you wanted. You arched your back at the feeling of him stretching you. Even with all the teasing and preparation you still needed a minute to adjust to his huge erection. He could be a bit rough with you but he still waited for you to signal him to keep going and when you squeezed his arm he took it as his signal.

He started thrusting slow, taking his time to see his dick disappearing between your folds. Once he had enough of that hypnotic view, he pushed himself balls deep into you, like his life depended on it. The pleasure clouded your mind, you had no space for something that wasn’t him right now, nor mentally or physically.

“Oh god fuck,” you whispered when he threw one of your legs over his shoulder and started thrusting in a new position. 

You couldn’t hear anything besides his heavy breathing, your moans and the constant skin-against-skin sounds. He pulled out and bent down to kiss you again.

“Turn around,” he ordered and you obeyed without a thought.

He slapped your ass and you screamed as you shut your eyes. You couldn’t hear him or see what he was doing so the expectation only added to your arousal. Then you felt his palm again on your skin and your pussy clenched around nothing.

“Again, p-please,” you said.

He chuckled and obliged. Your ass had three red marks with his hand shape and he felt proud of it. He used his fingers on you again as he kissed your spine up until he finally reached your head and whispered in your ear.

“Do you like it when I’m rough with you?” he asked. His deep voice made you feel like you were dreaming.

You nodded with desperate energy. You just wanted his dick inside you again, stretching you so good it almost hurted. And as he could read your mind, he kneeled behind you and used his hands to elevate your hips and thrust again into you. Seeing your ass hit against his pelvis was a glorious sight, he could feel himself on the edge of an orgasm just with it. But he couldn't do that to you. He took a fistful of your hair and pulled back so you couldn't muffle your moans with his cover anymore.

Beni fuck, holy sun and derivatives were the only things you could say between your moans and screams of pleasure. He slapped your ass again with all his strength when his thrusts became sloppy. Sweat dripped from his face to your back and tears of pleasure threatened to fall from your eyes if he kept that monstrous rhythm while ramming into you.

"This is what you wanted, right? Why don't you cum so I can see how bad you wanted this?" he said and slapped you again.

You moaned his name and your arms gave up to your weight and the strength of Benimaru's thrusts. He used a hand to touch your clit and rub it. That was your limit. Your climax hit you and you couldn't even keep your hips up, you collapsed on the bed as the man behind you observed as you struggled to catch your breath. He pumped his dick a few times before he started grinding against your ass and sucking bruises on your neck and shoulder, holding his weight with his hands on both sides of your head.

You felt cornered, trapped under his body and his dick still grinding between your ass cheeks, but you wanted more. So you asked for it.

"Such a good subordinate," he said as he made you roll on your back again.

He took your legs and threw them over his shoulders as he aligned his cock with your pussy to thrust again. He spit over his dick and your clit before starting to move, massaging over your sensitive organ to make you clench on him as he moved forward.

"Fuck," he hissed. He was balls deep inside you again but he didn't move this time.

You whined at the feeling of his cock stretching you again. It almost hurted, to feel him fill you like that and not move an inch.

He was biting his lower lip. You tried to move and he held your hips to make you stop.

"What's the rush?" he whispered and you were on the verge of tears again.

He knew what was the rush. He felt it too, your walls clenching on his dick, your legs trembling on his shoulders with the denial of pleasure.

He sighed. He couldn't keep his façade much longer, his balls ached for release. So he moved again, back and forward, hitting your cervix each time. You screamed and cried, it was too much. First nothing and then too much at once. You had your second and faster orgasm of your life. Benimaru lost it too, finally giving his body release, filling you up with his cum. He stood still again, feeling your pussy frantically clamping on his dick as your climax went down and your legs shaked still over his broad shoulders.

When you could breathe normally again he pulled out of you, cum dripping from your cunt and his dick to the bed.

You observed as he walked outside naked and came back with towels. You sat on the bed as you could, your legs were still shaking. Benimaru helped you to get up and cleaned you before taking off the covers and sheet of his bed.

"You shouldn't walk around naked, what if someone sees you?" you said. What if someone heard us, you thought.

"My room is the only one occupied on this wing, no one's around," he answered. "You can still stay here tonight."

"Here in the seventh or…?"

He didn't answer but he threw you one of his giant shirts before putting on some underwear and walking out again to get clean sheets. You walked out to the bathroom next to his room to wash your face and body. You would have marks in a few hours on a lot of places. You took your bag that was forgotten in the hallway and rushed inside his room again, you were still ashamed that someone saw you.

Benimaru was already sprawled on his bed, semi-naked and with one arm stretched to his side. You took that as an invitation to use it as a pillow as you laid by his side and tiredness finally took over your body.

When you woke up, Beni was gone. You assumed he was already working. You got dressed and you were ready to leave (again). When you walked outside, hoping no one was around, you were met by a soft oh that scared you.

"Konro-san, good morning!" you nervously smiled.

"Good morning. Did you enjoy your stay?"

You couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but you decided it was the latter. He didn't look the type to laugh at a nervous woman.

"I did, thank you. Your map was really helpful," you tried to joke now. "I have to go now, sadly. My vacations will be over soon."

"Come to see us whenever you like, I'm sure Waka will be pleased," he smiled.

"Thanks, again. See you next time," you said and walked away after slightly bowing to him.

[jojo-cha]

i feel like many people forget, neglect or are unaware on how debilitating ADHD can actually be.

the lack of control over one's focus. the memory issues, long- and short-term. the executive dysfunction. the more intense emotional states. the hightened degree to which others' opinions on you affect you.

all of these qualities — and more — come together to create the perfect blend of a lost person with 'untapped/wasted potential'.

can't focus on work? all you can do is either feel bad about it, or force yourself to get things done anyway and run the risk of your whole body aching. things that seem to come easily to your peers appear to take you an enormous amount of effort.

couldn't complete work? now you feel even worse. it could be that you simply forgot. or you knew exactly what to do and how to go about it! but somehow, against your will, despite your best efforts, you failed to make anything to show for your grasp on the material. whatever the case, you let yourself down. and even worse, you let down the people around you — family, friends, peers, superiors. you might figure that simply telling yourself to do something is not enough, and that stressful situations, such as tight deadlines, not seldomly brought about by procrastinating, spur you on a whole lot more. a poor coping mechanism for sure, but it seems to work better, so you don't mind too much and lean into it.

repeat ad nauseum, and what do you get?

low self-esteem. depression. a boatload of anxiety. anxiety attacks. burnout. loss in previous interests. hopelessness. avoidance. increased forgetfulness

my ADHD diagnosis has been over 20 years in the making. note the 'has been', as in 'still ongoing'. i'm in my mid-20s and can't finish secondary school to save my life. i've been stuck in the final grade for several years, and it seems impossible, even though i'm doing all i can, which is not even enough to be on eye level with my classmates. and until i have an official diagnosis, accomodations and meds are out of the question. and i have tried really hard to Cognitive Behavior Therapy my way out of it. still, all i can do is barely cross the starting line and still not complete the whole lap.

somehow, i'm still able to do enough to convince teachers that i do have the potential to graduate with ease, but the inability to follow through all the way is pulling me below the water surface, and i'm forgetting how to swim. 'if only i applied myself' and so on. like i'm not already trying my damn hardest to not make any trouble for myself and others.

ADHD and its more outwardly noticeable symptoms are often labeled as a quirky thing, when in reality there's nothing really fun about it. my brain doesn't work properly, and it has only brought me hard times.

i just want to function without having to go through headaches to do the bare minimum.