#I'm engaging all my healthy coping mechanisms

[seulira]

I've been dealing with some crazy depression lately but I'm still functioning in spite of it, which is leagues above what I used to do. I did like 6 loads of laundry over the weekend and I'm showering and eating regularly and I cleaned the apartment. I feel like absolute shit but I'm doing it.

So I'm rewarding myself by getting myself royale high dolls lmao

[the-fyre-flie]

Child Prodigy Figure Skater Bruce Wayne AU for my soul

He's *so* aggressive on the ice that it's like legit concerning that anyone let him wear knife shoes. If you've seen Yuri On Ice, he's Yurio but much much MUCH worse. Less trash talk, more staging you up so hard he doesn't *need* to trash talk you to ruin your confidence and make you flub. He's an all black fit kinda guy, as clean as possible, with very little flashy-ness despite the sport. He's hypercompenative as a coping mechanism, and if he doesn't win gold, he often sulks. He ages out of the sport at like 22, 23, and just moves on. Forgets about it. Becomes Batman and does not bother engaging in the fact that he was a world champion at one point.

The batfam finds out and are like "dude why the hell did you hide this??" and he's like "I didn't? Not talking about it doesn't mean I'm hiding it."

Alfred still has all his old costumes and metals and even recordings of Bruce's competitions <3 he cherishes them deeply because that was probably the last healthy outlet Bruce had before becoming Batman.

[borderlinereminders]

I got upset today. I felt like words were being put in my mouth that I didn't say, and it was a trigger of mine. It is a trigger of mine because of things from when I growing up.

I'm not sharing this for sympathy, or anything like that but as a reminder that I am not perfect. I get a lot of asks about how easy I make it all seem, and how lucky I am to not be struggling anymore. And the thing is, I do still struggle. I am still recovering. I am still learning to deal with my triggers and not take things so hard.

My recovery isn't over. My quality of life is so much better than it used to be, but I still have a lot to learn.

Part of my point is that it's okay to struggle. Recovery isn't perfect. Recovery isn't linear. I had a bad day, and probably shouldn't have engaged as much I did in the conversation. I got upset and had urges to delete my blog. In the end, I used a coping mechanism. I called my best friend and ranted to her, and talked it out with her. I felt calm, and much clearer.

So while I did struggle, I still handled this much better than I would have before. I didn't give into urges, and I handled my feelings in a healthy way. But I also want to say that even if I didn't do that... Even if I had fallen back on a bad habit, my recovery progress would still not be undone. The lessons I learned are still there. And I could always try again.

Please don't beat yourself up when recovery is hard, or when you relapse or fall back onto old habits. It's okay to take a breath, and try again.

[avoidantrecovery]

my current avpd theory

i've been thinking and i think i have a theory about avpd based on all the things i've been reading and listening to lately.

i think avpd consists of/comes to be because of these things:

initial traumatic experience (that included some kind of rejection or ostracization)

no healthy way to process trauma or co-regulate with anyone

dissociation from the "real you" (it is associated with shame due to initial trauma, but also perhaps out of self-protection)

coping mechanism to make up for dissociated "real you" (masking, agoraphobia, social anxiety, co-dependency and/or enmeshment ("safe person"),...)

relational self via the "real you" remains underdeveloped or not there at all (so this could be b/c of masking, not engaging at all, ...)

lacking experiences of being "experienced by another person" as described in the infamous article/study as well as this post and this post.

this then spirals into the known avpd symptoms

the dissociation part is the important part though. i think this is key. the reason why people with avpd report this feeling of not being there, feeling invisible, etc... is because of this i think. for me i always felt like i was a robot or running on a "low flame". and when i use the term "dissociation" i'm using it as it is used in trauma and cptsd circles. a kind of detachment and separation from our own true being, feelings, thoughts, etc...

and when you're dissociated, it's hard to truly interact with people and practice that relational self muscle. instead, if you even have relationships with others, they are superficial, involve a lot of masking & mirroring and can only be kept up for so long, because that is exhausting in the long run. it's impossible to be genuine or vulnerable when you're not really there and not really being honest for the fear of repeating the trauma (shame and fear). and the more time passes with us desperately trying to engage others without our "real self" being in the drivers seat, the more we feel out of sync with everyone else and the more the formation of our relational self suffers and remains underdeveloped or not there at all. everything begins to compound into the known symptoms.

i don't know i've been going through old stuff (journals and letters) of mine and i'm so confused, but i'm trying to think through it all in the hopes of finding a way out. as always. 🥲 maybe the theory makes sense to others, too?

[plusvanity]

Yesterday, I wanted to say that people who blocked me did the wiser thing, but today, I want to touch on a recent issue, a hugely (intentionally) misinterpreted and degrading problem.

The controversies that people started to spread about me literally make me sick to the stomach.

They don't give a fuck about my countless explanations of how this ship is my comfort ship, designed to help me heal from severe abuse, self hatred, body dysmorphia, depression and anxiety.

I try to switch from unhealthy coping mechanisms to something that is both productive, helpful and most of all, harmless (because it's imaginary).

They felt the need to turn something that I created as my own personal fictive escape into a gross sadomasochistic, abusive and extremely toxic 'excuse' for 'why is this ship and not that?'. My guts twist for seeing such cruel assumptions when I have one thing that makes me happy (a story, a healthy narrative) viciously turned into a gruesome scenario that is not what it is at all.

The fact that they accuse me of shipping fair-skinned, blonde people is also the biggest hypocrisy that they could come up with when they themselves forget that Øystein's natural hair is blond and his eyes are blue in their own double-standard ship.

The fact that accuse me of romanticizing self-harm while they themselves 'like' (I have proofs) and approve art of EuroDead self-destructive romanticism shows their duplicitous and impostor nature. This is not to be taken as an insult, but an obvious fact concluded by their behavior.

My ship has little to do with physical looks and everything else to do with the in-depth psychology. It's not me, PlusVanity who says that there's a gigantic overlap between highly-autistic traits and trauma response (in personality disorders), it's Freud, Jung, Lacan's teachings and many other's scholars, neurologists and psychiatrists came to this conclusion many many years before you and I were even born. If you, dearly-opinionated friend, think that you can prove to these honorable psychoanalytical figures (and me, of course) otherwise with credible and well-documented research and not your 'I don't like that just because' synthetic opinion, I will gladly listen to what you have to bring up. I am well-versed in the philosophical and psychological domain, and I can provide solid arguments to everything I claim.

It's more than just unfair to point the finger at me, accusing me of a ludicrous sadomasochistic and 'subliminal racial element' in my art just to satisfy your late frustration with an ' good-enough explanation' for something that you never even bothered to look into because otherwise you would know that you are wrong. I'm not spiteful, I'm just pointing your flaws in logic as straightforwardly and inconsiderable as you seem to point mine, but it's not like you will actually try to understand what I'm saying because this must imply 'admitting defeat' and a kick in the ego, so you don't even bother with my transparent explanations. That's alright.

This message is for the people who are open and mature enough to read the motive behind my art and writing. This monologue is not for the ones who blindly accuse me of horrible things or a hidden agenda that I don't have or try to promote.

If you think that you know better than me, you simply don't. Why might that be? Because I am the author, because you don't think with my brain and you have no access to what I stand for, other than my words and actions and neither my words or actions stood for any type of abuse or political extremism.

You also put words into my mouth by calling me a fan of Varg, when I'm most certainly not, but I mean you hate me, of course you will say such things. Everyone who's following me knows that I not only hate Varg, but mock him daily for his spiteful persona.

I do not engage in any drama, I am not here to fight anyone.

I will only have civilized conversations (if openness exists). I am here to be and share with my friends the one thing that makes me happy. To subjugate me for simply having a different view than yours is tyranny and black and white extremism.

Pairing real people is morally bad, but this includes all real people. Not just Varg and Pelle, but Øystein and Pelle too. Doesn't sound fair now, does it? I understand why.

Anyone is free to believe anything, but a conspiratorial opinion will never compare to the ultimate truth that only the author can provide.

Please block me if you wish for. This is a far more mature approach than lurking here or sending hate. I hope this is constructive.

To sum it up, I'm beyond hate and ingoing frustration. I will gladly wish my late-proclaimed haters a wonderful day even if they roll their eyes. 🖤

You cannot change options, you can only provide your insight.

Be kind, be open, be alright 🖤

I wish this post can be shared so a lot of people can read this 🙏

[praetorqueenreyna]

well i AM asking for the essay on modern ACOTAR fandom please🙏😩

YOU ARE ALL ENABLERS!!! FINE I SHALL WRITE MY ESSAY!!!!! I'm putting it under a read more because I'm embarrassed of how long it is.

ACOTAR fandom is strange in a fascinating and NOT FUN way. Fandom has gotten SO restrictive recently, it's suffocating. And idk what it is about ACOTAR, but its fans are among the WORST. Whatever discourse you've seen in other fandoms, multiply it by 10 to get the experience of being in mainstream ACOTAR fandom. It is an unchallenged belief in this fandom that writing, drawing, or consuming any kind of content that isn't 100% healthy in the real world means that you - YOU!!!!! - are a danger to real life human beings. Criticizing a character's choices and the author's writing decisions is warped into you being an abuse apologist and also you probably yell at abuse victims in real life. A drawing of Tamlin and Elain sitting in a garden is now a disgusting acceptance of real life abusers and you're traumatizing every abuse survivor.

I can think of countless examples off the top of my head of real life human beings being harassed and bullied and called all kinds of nasty names for the fictional content they create about fictional characters. Like, I cannot stress enough the irony of these puritans spouting off in woke-enese about how "dangerous" certain fans are being incredibly verbally and emotionally abusive to people in this fandom. A fanartist on Instagram was painting portraits of each of the ACOTAR characters, and as a fun framing device, each painting was meant to be a painting that Feyre would make, and the captions talked about how the artist thought Feyre would paint this character. A charming and delightful series taking advantage of the fact that the main character is a painter, right? WRONG!!! This artist did a painting of Tamlin, and she was raked across the coals for DARING to even IMPLY that Feyre ever even THOUGHT about Tamlin or could even CONSIDER forgiving him enough to paint him. She was accused of "forcing an abuse survivor to think about her abuser." Like, do you see how absurd that is?? Feyre isn't real!! Nobody forced anybody to do anything! That's the kind of batshit insane nonsense we're dealing with.

Not to mention any depicition or joking about the series' villains is seen as you endorsing REAL LIFE VILLAINY!! me and my friends are constantly under fire for DARING to enjoy villainous characters or dark content. I feel like I shouldn't even have to say it, but the content that you create and consume doesn't say anything about you as a person. People who are very well adjusted, kind, and happy will engage with dark content for a variety of reasons. Some use it as a coping/healing mechanism, some just find dark content fascinating and worthy of exploration, and some people have dark fantasies. This fandom behaves as if the things you make and consume are examples of what you consider "healthy" and things that you want to do to real life people. It's INCONCEIVABLE to them that you could enjoy something in fiction and not endorse it in real life. INCONCEIVABLE!!

Aside from the irony of people claiming to battle against toxicity screaming violent insults at real life people over fictional characters, this is very very funny. Those of us that have been in the rarepair trenches in other fandoms can't help but laugh at these grown ass women losing their minds because somebody drew a blonde man. The culmination of this has been the runners of Elain Week refusing to even SEE characters they don't like. The visage of Tamlin will shatter their fragile minds and send them to their early graves. And this isn't even TOUCHING how their standard for which characters are Acceptable and which ones aren't is almost solely decided by what the author has explicitly stated and not based on any critical thinking or analysis.

The sheer and utter absurdity of this fandom in particular being SO hung up on canon should be studied. SJM is such a poor writer that she contradicts canon within the same book. I am firmly convinced that nobody actually reads her novels all the way through before they are published. This canon is bad. Which is why it's so baffling that this fandom in particular is so obsessed with canon and what the author has stated both within the books and in interviews. SJM says this character is bad, and so they are BAD!!! This character is good, and so they are GOOD. Oftentimes if you see people try to tear down Tamlin, they'll bring up SJM saying that he's abusive in interviews, talking about how she doesn't like him, and bringing up that she put a hotline for abuse survivors in the back of one of the books. SJM has said that he's an abuser, and so therefore he IS, and there is no further investigation.

Again, a kindergarden concept I didn't think I'd have to explain to a bunch of grown adults on the internet, but a creator's intention is not the end all be all of discussion. It's certainly a part of the analysis, but it is also up to the reader to determine if the author has convinced you of the story they're trying to tell. For example, the creator Joss Whedon clearly created Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be a feminist, empowering show for women. However, the viewer can watch the show and point out areas where he failed in this intention and allowed misogyny, racism, and homophobia to seep into his works. Imagine if every time you tried to criticize a "feminist" show made by a man, the fans screamed at you that the creator said it's feminist, and so therefore it is, and that's the end of that.

This is PARTICULARLY galling with SJM's villains. A lot of them are just...not written well, or convincingly, or realistically. BUT a lot of them are sexual predators, and so any discussion about them and their character is cut off at the source. SJM tells you that these people are BAD GUYS and you have to accept it, otherwise you're defending r*pists. It's especially hilarious because a lot of her "good" guys also commit many horrible acts. Part of the hilarity of the Elain Week nonsense is that the man that the creators ship Elain with, Azriel, is a PROFESSIONAL TORTURER. But SJM says he's good and sympathetic, so therefore, he is. And it's an entirely different essay to go into how SJM portrays her female villains, and I got Cancelled for it last time I tried so NO YOU CANT MAKE ME!!!

Lastly, I'll mention the bloated victim complex of people that like popular things. Again, not unique to ACOTAR fandom, but certainly very prevalent. The people who are in the majority NEED to feel like they're the underdog, fighting the good fight. Hence having the people who like one of the MAIN CHARACTERS and one of the Top 5 Most Popular Ships acting like they are Jesus on the cross for shipping Elain and Bland Dude #4. They work themselves into a paranoid frenzy, feeling attacked at every twist and turn. I would bet my LIFE that the people that run Elain Week have never even seen Beron/Elain content, let alone had it submitted to their event. But they got themselves all worked up about the Evil Tamlin Cabal RUINING THE EVENT that they made these rules that are simply ridiculous. And it backfired on them. Me and my friends have been accused of ruining other character weeks for making content for ships that WE like but the moderators don't. They'll see one single Rhysand/Tamlin drawing and act like you've fucking shot them. They genuinely feel like nobody likes Feyre or Rhysand, the most popular characters, and everyone supports Tamlin. It's insane and they need to get offline. I've seen people wearing Night Court merch in real life. Trust me, you won. You are not the victim.

[sizhens]

i think im plural but unsure how to express it/self-converse abt it. every so often a part of me that was developed as a coping mechanism for living on the streets rears its head and like takes over my thoughts & pumps my adrenaline hella hard. mostly just looking for direction on interrogating this and coexisting better as a system... still very new 2 this all apologies

Nora-Sizhen: Hi anon, thanks for trusting us with this ask, it means a lot.

Something one of my best friends told me when she first helped us understand our own plurality was that she (plural) frames altergenesis like this (filtered thru our own understanding / translation): basically, natural divergences and separations in traits, clusters of behaviors and personality in psychic spaces, are a natural part of like. being a bodymind. and when certain traits are adaptive for a particular context, for whatever reason, they tend to stick around. in our experience, many "maladaptive" traits which are profoundly self-harmful outside of their original context were rooted in being adaptive (one way or another) to the context in which they were encouraged. This includes "maladaptive" modes of existence/consciousness (maladaptive should be noted to be a very like. complicated and loaded word here but I'm going to try to be somewhat concise). for us, we have an alter who is profoundly, profoundly emotionally repressed. she has an inability to engage with her emotions in a "productive" or "healthy" way like the rest of us, and this is because she partially became increasingly relevant in our life when we were in extremely dangerous contexts, wherein it was not safe for us to Have Emotions, when we needed to have a part of our consciousness Ready To Address and Adapt to Situations at a moments notice, who would not be bogged down by "feelings" or "suffering." Her role (OK, it's about Me, Nora-Sizhen) was to Solve Problems, and right now she's (" ") struggling to adapt to a context wherein she doesn't actively Need to solve life or death problems, but rather Needs to learn to allow herself to feel and be vulnerable. It's complicated!

I don't know if this is like, a helpful framing, and we don't have anything Instructive or Prescriptive to say, but we hope that this perspective might be valuable to you.

I think that, like all People, People-Who-Are-Internal-Parts are complicated, messy, and rarely just one or two things. We all have elements of ourselves which are valuable and which are harmful to ourselves or others.

Mal-Chuuni: It's also worth noting that like. A lot of this can come from needing to adjust to Being Safe. And if you are in a safe place, it can be a really difficult but important struggle to be able to teach yourself that you Are safe. But also that Being In A Safe Place often means having to suddenly deal with a lot of things your bodymind postponed addressing out of a desperate need to survive. It will mean a lot of things flooding in at once.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

Contributing my perspective on CNC... so, with my partner, it is ofc fun because it is entirely consensual. Knowing she wants it allows me to go fully into sadism space, knowing she can safeword both verbally and nonverbally if needed

But in terms of personal fantasies, like if I'm just masturbating or w/e... I'm pretty sure this is a trauma response to my infant CSA, so feel free to back out now if this might be triggering... (also, warning for mentions of self harm)

.

.

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I actually want to be raped, like, nonconsensually. It's not necessarily a healthy desire, nor is it one I ever intend to even try to act on (and also never truly could, bc technically if I want it then it wouldn't really be rape anyway).

But you know what is healthy? Fantasizing about it in a safe environment. Engaging in CNC with my partner (she's willing to give as well as receive with CNC). Writing fic about noncon.

I've talked to my therapist extensively about it and we've worked out that these are in fact healthy coping mechanisms for that likely trauma-driven desire - much like risk aware consensual blood and knife play allowed me to stop self-harming, bc I wouldn't let myself do it for fun and horny reasons unless I could be healthy about it, so I basically rewired my brain to see it as a sexy happy special treat and lost all interest in doing it to cope when stressed.

Like, idk. I'm kinda an outlier with these things, but genuinely kink has kept me safe and helped me cope. Traumakink in general has made me more able to engage with things that could otherwise be harmful in a healthy way, bc that's for me a prerequisite for engaging in any kink but especially extreme kinks.

Obviously it doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me. I'm no longer depressed and having panic attacks and hurting my system's body, but taking care of it for us and working to be healthy and happy. And then at the end of the day as a reward I can get horny about stuff that used to hurt us (plus, the headspace allows even more freedom to engage in stuff like impermanent deathplay, bc death simply isn't meaningful inside the headspace lol).

But yeah. It's worked out well for us.

I'm glad you and your partner have a healthy way of coping with things and have a dynamic that works for you!

I wish you both all the best.

[seraphasia]

i'm really happy for you! can i ask what kind of therapy you had? it's never seemed to help me much so i'm curious!

Thank you!!♥︎ My therapist used a blend of different counseling theories with me, but primarily cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy techniques, as well as hypnosis for some very specific issues. The behavioral therapies are fairly common, so I wouldn't be surprised if you have tried those and they weren't helpful - they tend to be best for very specific concrete behavioral changes, but aren't always the best for exploring deeply rooted issues. Obviously, I don't know your specific situation, but there are a whole range of other therapeutic theories and techniques that are somewhat less common but may be more helpful if CBT and/or DBT haven't worked for you. Psychodynamic therapy tends to explore your past, early attachments, and current relationships to unpack how your subconscious experience is impacting your conscious experience. Existential therapy techniques are helpful for handling things like existential crises, grief, and death (edit: I originally wrote Gestalt where I meant existential). If you're struggling with dealing with stressors related to being a woman, a minority, or otherwise oppressed group, then you might benefit more from a therapist who has a focus in feminist therapy. Acceptance and commitment therapy can be very helpful if your issues tend to be treatment resistant - it focuses on being able to engage in positive behaviors even when your moods and thoughts are extremely negative. There's a range of options, and each can help you differently.

I also specifically sought out counselors who focused more on accountability than validation. Your therapist shouldn't tear you down, but they also shouldn't constantly validate your behaviors and emotions either. I was a relatively uncooperative patient, so having a therapist who would hold me to my word was an important factor for me. If you're having a hard time opening up to a counselor, it may be an issue of personal compatibility. It's not always the techniques but the counselor themself - sometimes because they're not good at what they do, sometimes because their personality is one that you have a hard time opening up to. Don't be afraid to window shop when it comes to therapists. I always recommend going to 3 sessions before deciding to stick with them or try someone new. The first session is almost always entirely intake, so you won't get a good idea there, but if you can't stand, don't like, or simply don't want to work with the therapist by the end of the 3rd session, leave. You are not obligated to them, and counselors are rarely cheap.

One big caveat to all this is that if you know the coping mechanisms and the strategies for dealing with mental health issues you have, but none of it is effective, you should at least explore the idea of medication. It was a problem for me where I knew the coping mechanisms that I needed to use, knew how to use them, but my emotions were so off the charts strong that I didn't have the capacity to use them properly. Most people have a threshold of emotion at which most healthy coping mechanisms are ineffective, but if you're in that state most or all of the time, it's worth looking into psychiatric medication. Psychiatrists can be a major pain in the ass in terms of finding a good one, but once you have a good one, they can change your life.

[suzukiblu]

Hello all, I am honestly not even sure how long it's been since I've really talked to anyone online and I'm very sorry for just straight-up ghosting so many of you, but I'm trying to work on resuming my life and reconnecting with people a bit and especially trying to start picking up all of the commitments I've let myself drop in the past year or two.

Full disclosure, I've been having a bad time mentally for quite a while and just haven't been available to anyone in my life, online or off. I'm really sorry to have stressed people out with that because I know I did worry a few of you. I'm just not all here, to be honest, and I haven't handled it well. I'm having some personal struggles and just not doing my best taking care of the resulting issues--it's not anything trauma-based/triggered, it's more along the lines of problems with in-built psychological issues stemming from chemical imbalances that I just don't always manage as effectively as I could. But I'm not physically ill and haven't been in an accident or anything like that, and I'm trying to re-engage with life now. Catching up with people I owe communication/commissions/explanations to is on my list, but I just haven't managed to make it very far into said list yet. I am, however, physically healthy and in stable housing, and if anything emergency-adjacent happens I do have local friends and non-local family members I could get help from, so I'm not in an "immediate crisis" situation.

I'm just also unemployed, out of money, and scraping by on food stamps and state-issued healthcare that doesn't cover my previous psychiatrist, and I haven't been able to find a new one in-network who's taking patients and actually, like . . . calls me back when I leave a message or email them in interest of making an appointment. I'm signed up with a program that can help me get a job, hopefully, but the process is taking a little while and I'm not sure how long it'll take in the end, so the future is very nebulous at the moment.

And like . . . VERY full disclosure, I'm just very depressed and stuck being off my meds for the forseeable future. My room is a mess I can't bring myself to clean up, I feel like I can't engage meaningfully with a lot of things, I don't feel hopeful or optimistic at all, my emotional responses are all heavily muted, my coping mechanisms are avoiding breakdowns but are not long-term helpful or productive, and I'm neglecting a lot of people and things in my life and my own best interests because I just . . . don't care.

I know my situation and my feelings are largely just because I'm going through a major depressive phase unmedicated and with limited personal resources, it's not an end of the world scenario or anything. It's just been difficult and upsetting trying to find ways and motivation to fix my life and get out of that phase when I'm already feeling sunk in a quagmire and like I did all this to myself with my own mistakes, and I'm just trying to take things one step at a time and build back up from where I'm at.

So long story short: I'm not doing great right now but I'm stable, and I greatly appreciate the concern and grace I've been given while being just entirely off radar and am going to be doing my best to make right or make up for the neglect. If anyone wants or needs to check in on anything I owe them, please feel free to message me and ask; I'll be trying to contact everyone I owe anything to but given the brain-fog I've been dealing with I don't trust myself not to miss anybody in there, so believe me, if you feel the need I will in no way be offended and you'd probably be doing me a favor anyway.

Thank you all, you've all been so good to me over the years. I'll hopefully be in touch soon. ❤

[therealslimshakespeare]

Okay I need to know everything about Jack and Tilly meeting and falling in love I'm obsessed

Ooh story time my sweets,

Gear up for a tad of angst (life is shit without Tilly) and absolute fluff (once Tilly is in life)

There once was a very devoted twenty four year old Air Force captain who had lost his fort, a crew member and his freedom before noon one day in 1943. Since then there had been a catalogue of nothing short of shitstorm of awfulness, a brutalized sister arriving in camp, a dead niece, medical experimentation and a new hustle of bartering bodily autonomy for basic human needs required by his men, the fucking SS taking over the camp, more than a little medical experimentation happening then, news his beloved dad has died back home, Major Egan quite plausibly having lost his damn kind, his sister’s tormentors running the fucking camp and-

Well, long story short. One day a group of Tuskegee airmen came in.

One with a snapped neck. Propping up an injured airmen between ranks during roll call was an all too common thing, as was some attempt to alleviate invalids boredom when they were forced to stay in bed. Richard Macon, Brady found out, was not only an incredible pilot, mathematician and an impressive land owner: he also liked jazz. And if there way anything beyond freedom and sunshine that Jack Brady liked too- it was jazz.

Now it was customary from new prisoners to write back home to inform their families that they were indeed alive, and try in the most delicate terms to inform their tender loved ones that their injuries or privations were minor.

“Jack’s the best liar we’ve got.” Benny sadly praised him to Lt. Daniels and it was agreed then that Jack should write a letter home to the Macon’s, one adopting the tone of his own letters back to Mama Ruth Brady in which he spoke highly of his healthy and happy sister and the chocolate pies they were eating and the small privations of not enough clarinet reeds. Mrs. Brady had gotten wise when comparing his letters to Gloria Demarco’s letters but Jack’s kindhearted run of literary deceit has lasted a good nine months, months that his recently widowed mother needed and everyone was very impressed with his awful ability to be fine when he wasn’t.

“It’s not like if I wrote about what’s happening they’d actually let it through the censors.” Brady had pointed out amidst his bunk mates aghast tumult when Gloria Demarco’s most recent letter came in citing the narrative white washing.

So, best liar Jack Brady set aside his sax one day at Richard Macon’s bunkside and wrote a letter instead. In truth it wasn’t too false but it was very demure about the effects of a snapped neck.

He also made certain it got through, which had been another reason for his authorship- any funny fucking business the SS might play with their new “colored” prison mates would be delicately bypassed if one of their best paying POW’s posted the thing.

Which is why the Macon family, including Miss Tilly Macon herself, got their first news of Richard in a foreign and modest scribble.

Tilly already being in the Red Cross, was engaged in providing relief packets which in turn had censor approved pamphlets and directional booklets for the use of medicines and provisions. If she began to scribble hearts and music notes on their margins in hopes that amongst the thousand one sweet and very false Captain might get a little giggle, that wasn’t her superiors’ business. When she wrote Captain Brady back via his mother in concern for her cousin, she might’ve let slip this sweet conspiracy.

So began a game. Of seeing if he could spot her handiwork. Writing to his mother with another letter enclosed that Ruth Brady, summoning the better part of wisdom, chose not to read and simply pass on.

If Johnny, in absolute catatonic misery over the worsening conditions and abuse in camp began to cling to the ephemeral idea of Tilly, that was hardly the worst coping mechanism. If he jokingly -it wasn’t a joke but sweet mother of god he tries to make it sound like one- threatened to marry her when he got back, the reply was chirping and anything but demure,

“please do, dear boy” 💋

[lixenn]

Hi lili!!! 👋🏾 Hope you are well! For Chief...!

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Heya Momo! I'm hanging on by a bare thread but I'm still kicking so that's something (I will defeat this thesis, I will kick it to the curb! I will murder it dead <- straight up in denial OTL)

Chief questions! Chief questions!!!

Let's see...

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Well, Dani-boy ain't a saint so he certainly hurt quite a bit of people. As for who he hurt the most, well that's [redacted] Ummm... huh? That's strange... Let me try again. Dan [redacted] ... One time he [redacted]

Whut?

*contacting the nonsense generator*

...

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You have entered the spoiler zone. Varia Quality censoring engaged. Please try again at a later date.

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

Dan is a solution orientated person. If there's a problem, he tries to fix it. If there's no problem? Well, there will be future ones so he plans ahead. ("Paranoid much Chief?") So you could say he copes with things by planning and scheming and working. He loves lists and graphs, likes sorting his thoughts by writing them down. He will list all the things that could possibly go wrong and then meassures to prevent them or how to react to them. Not really a healthy way to cope with life but when your part of the Mafia where sanity often goes on permanent vacation it can save your ass quite a bit.

When confronted with situations that are not in his plans (aka the newest Varia shitshow) or that simply make him uncomfortable (aka Vlasta's nonsense) then he often shuts down. Dan knows the value of a strategic retreat and he's not afraid to use it.

He also heavily abuses his hard workload as a distraction tactic. What do you mean Ottavio wants to talk to him? Can't you see that he's busy doing budget reports? Come in late (read: never). (There's no time to worry about the high death toll when he's mind is occupied with numbers and to-lists and meetings. Chief is good at compartmentalizing, locking bad memories into boxes and hiding away the key)

To break it down: Dan copes with contingency plans, compartmentalization and just plain noping out of the problem. It's not exactly the healthiest way to cope because he tends to take these methods to the extremes but it could be worse.

🪓 (axe) - Does your oc have survival skills? Have they ever had to use them? What would they do in an apocalypse? Could they survive?

Survival skills huh... bit of a broad term but I will try my best 🫡

Dan knows first aid and hand to hand combat. It was drilled into his head by his parents because they know how dangerous the mafia can be and they wanted him to be equipped to deal with it. (His siblings got the same training, yes even his sister though she isn't a fan of getting her hands dirty). He knows how to make a fire, set up camp and how get food in the wilderness (though his cooking skills are... not up to par, it's enough to survive but not really all that appetizing). Dan learned those skills on various camping trips he went on with his dad, it was their way to bond since Dan loves nature and his dad likes to hunt.

As for the apocalypse... Please, he has contingency plans for an eventual Varia zombie outbreak (he doesn't trust PoisonChem or R&D as far as he can throw them, he wouldn't be surprised if they cook up a zombie virus in their labs. Disappointed? Yes. Surprised? No.) and several other apocalypse scenarios. So as long as it isn't something that insta kills lots of people (aka natural disaster shit) he would be fine. He has a couple safe houses, common sense and knows how to use a shotgun. Also he's just way too stubborn to die because the world's gone to shits. Plus for some reason someone up above (the author) wants to torment him on a daily basis and he's got to be alive for that to happen so yeah...

He'd either be roped into some leadership role in a survival camp or he'd be the grumpy guy in the woods living off the land. Could go either way.

Red emoji oc ask

[theleechyskrunkly]

30, 34 and 37 for Paige and Aurinelle :)

Late response because it basically my trademark at this point 😋

For Paige:

30- Healthiest coping mechanism would be writing down his emotions and turning it into songs for lyrics and/or melodies to go along with the lyrics =D

Most unhealthy coping mechanism is absolute isolation and reducing the amount of things he eats and drinks to the bare minimum. Also limiting his movement and staying in bed all day.

34- I'm not sure if this counts as a vice, but I'd say his disinterest in people as a concept. Like Paige is a really nice guy and all but it takes a long time for him to be someone who one can truly enjoy spending time with.

Students are bound to call him dry and such, but that's not because he doesn't have a personality like they assume, but because Paige cannot be bothered to care enough about others for him to actually make an effort to show engagement in social interactions, you know? He'll try his best to hide this trait of his but ultimately he's not very good at it, and once he realizes that he's not a very good actor (the way Cater is), he'll just give up the front and just be the way he is.

Building a bond with him really depends on two things: him catching an interest in you, or you being very insistent on befriending him. Otherwise he'll just behave like an NPC to avoid being bothered.

37- Idia's beanbag listening to music, or his room listening to music, or Finn's private area of the botanical garden listening to music, or Aurinelle's room listening to music, or the school yard under a tree listening to music, or the school yard on a tree listening to music, or the school rooftop listening to music, or on a flying broom listening to music.

Moral of the story: listening to music.

For Aurinelle:

30- Healthiest coping mechanism would probably be humming the lullabies his mamas used to sing to him to himself whenever he feels... alone or saddened by the lack of their presence. It brings him unimaginable amounts of comfort.

The least healthy mechanism of his would be picking at his gems, usually pulling them out if he does it for too long or with a lot of force. When his gems are removed he bleeds, and it takes ages for the wound to close and even longer for new gems to grow, so this "habit" of his technically counts as self-harm...

34- Oh boy this guy... erm we're not gonna count his umm.. eating habits as vices so let's go with his severe cynicism.

This guy doesn't trust ANYONE. At ALL. Bro getting Aurinelle to fully put his trust in you would likely take YEARS. Like he always runs having relationships with people through the absolute worst case scenarios possible and analyze the chances of the relationship ending in disaster. Like this guy's trust issues are through the roof.

Of course he'll keep that under wraps so that it won't hurt his relationships that are in development, because even despite being severely skeptical of everything, he really does want to form close bonds with people, even if it's difficult to do so.

37- There are no lazy days for Aurinelle and his workaholic mindset. He's kind of like Nicole for the amazing world of gumball. He can't sit still without doing something, at least not on land. He'll make a literal schedule for what he has to do on a day to do nothing. He'll make up stuff to do instead of just, I don't know, sleeping or something. (I'm projecting here)

Tagging: @thehollowwriter @elenauaurs @tixdixl @cyanide-latte @distant-velleity @onepenonedream

[quailxcrossing]

you're right i was sillybrained and thought my asks were on but they weren't! thank you for tagging me regardless I really appreciate the questions and my brain is WHRRRING

[60] If they were to commit a crime, what kind of crime would it most likely be? WINNIE

As awful as it sounds right off the bat, Winnie's most likely crime would be physical assault </3 she's a very highstrung and defensive person, and when she feels threatened she goes for her physical qualities first- she WILL bite people. this has helped her greatly in the past, when she was in real, high-stress high-danger situations, but now that she's trying to adjust to Normal Life, she's still unlearning that she can't bite people to make them leave her alone!

(i'll do 17 for Runo on a separate ask! just to save typing space :3) [30] What are their most healthy and most unhealthy coping mechanisms? RUNO

Oh Runo LOVES coping mechanisms...he's got a lot....but yes. For healthy, I'd say his most bestest one is letting himself play- he's not really a parent who sits back with a drink and watches his kids from a distance; he loves hanging out with them and playing their games, he lets himself be silly with them and not care about passerbyers! Not only is it just, a lot of fun, but it's helping him experience a lot of childhood he didn't get to, and process how much he needed an engaging parent and now he gets to do all the things he wanted to! Although, at his own slower pace. He's not as high-energy as either of his children, but when he's included it just heals his whole brain. his wife Peony enjoys these family activities too <3

for WORST...okay the worst.......needs a slight trigger warning for s/h --> he bites, sadly not in a silly way, but when he's really feeling it he bites his arms to calm down. sometimes when i draw him without long sleeves, you can see bruises or lacerations on his wrists/hands. he tries to hide this from his family best he can- he doesn't want his kids worrying about him, or picking up the habit. its a form of NSSI which is an autistic trait i relate to heavily but man. man i wish he'd stop doing it :<

[11] What are small things that make them happy? TAI

(this art is by my friend @/foolishly-snowy !) oh man this guy needs some joy in his life. small things....i almost just said his daughter, but that's a pretty big thing, no? small things would be...clever tattoo designs (he loves tats so much, boy i'm begging you to get more of them, he loves fantasizing about the big arm/chest pieces he wants someday) or when he gets to dress up a little fancier than usual (formal work events are his favorite thing, despite unpopular opinion- he just loves a nice clean suit and feeling put together!) and...walnuts? he loves walnuts....his husband Spiro really likes cooking, and it's not uncommon for him to make Tai cinnamon toasted walnuts to take to work which always make the 15-hour shifts so much better when there are walnuts in his bag

[3] What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with? RUSE

RUSE!!! hi ruse hiii ruse hi babygirl....hmmm....all of them? Ruse isn't great with emotions...being raised sheltered, friendless, and ostracized, then she became a squire, then a knight, all while being sheltered, friendless, and ostracized. She tries to keep her emotions in immaculate little boxes, but she is TERRIBLE at this. the hardest emotion to keep in her boxes is guilt, for sure. she feels very guilty to want things, or need things, or desire anything, or take up anyone's time. :( it eats her up. she feels like she must have a purpose for existing- luckily, she's got actual friends around her now, trying to teach her it's okay to breathe and exist and take up space! it's okay to be a soft little mouse.

[2] How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone? BAAREE

oh Baaree you mean the world to me. Baaree was raised in royalty. she was taught to be perfect, and polite, and proper, and quiet. she never had any room for messy emotions or speaking her mind, but she didn't mind it too much. nowadays, she has been cast out from her kingdom for a crime she DID commit, and everyone treats her like dirt, but she keeps her head the same as ever. polite. perfect. proper. she's got a bit of a rude tongue to her though, which is slipping out more and more, the farther she walks from the castle.

when alone, baaree is about the same. polite. proper. but she's unraveling, slowly, from the experiences she's having in public. she's still treading carefully, but she likes to hitch up her dress and run, let herself get messy and dusty, and get angry and hissy and stomp around in private.

[7] Are they a good liar and what would they probably lie about? EVIE

ohhh evie.....she's a pretty moderately bad liar, she doesn't do it often because she doesn't like to lie! she prefers to stay quiet and avoid questions. but what's funny is, the picture i used as her icon, she sorta is lying-

she's silly.....she really is head empty, quite often. so she doesn't have the means to lie extremely complicated or keep up with the lie. she can make up a white lie on the spot, but holding on threads for a long period of time? forget about it! [24] How hard it is for them to not allow their emotions to cloud their judgement? EVIE pretty good, actually? this might have to do with the head empty, no thoughts thing. Evie can be pretty silly and emotional, but she's also good at seeing things as part of a bigger picture- she's pretty logical in that manner! it's her friend Sigourney who has a REALLY hard time not letting her emotions get in the way; Evie often has to clear her mind for her.

[57] What was the most stupid or dangerous thing they have ever done? GOAT

well, if jumping to punch a guy you just force your best friend to stab your arm and kill you on a whim isn't dangerous enough- and then the many, many escapades he's going to go through later down the line, which all involve him jumping headfirst into fighting someone he reeeeally shouldn't fight (may i remind you, he is 4'11'' and twig-shaped)

so maybe this isn't the MOST stupid thing he's ever done, but when he was 16 he stole a sports car from the family he was staying with, took it on a high-speed joyride around the city with his foster sister, and then crashed it Calvin and Hobbes style into a ditch. he didn't have a driver's license btw. never took any tests either. he was winging it and boy was he WINGING it. how they walked away from that laughing their heads off is beyond me

[hyperfixingfr]

@kndrules said I should talk about the Hoagie shutdown HCs for hours so that's my excuse for doing such (CW for S/H and some brief abuse & addiction mentions)

Hoagie is more quiet than his teammates. That's kind of something people don't notice because the way he's quiet is kind of different because of his neurodivergence. Yes, he talks. Yes, he socializes. But the way in which he does these things is very obviously a quiet kid. He lets other people lead conversations. He tends to follow the actions of others. He talks excessively if you let him, but the moment someone shows any form of rejection or disapproval of it, he stops talking. He stays behind everyone else, or at least behind the "leader" of the scene. And overall, his personality would cause some pretty obvious outcasting from groups in school. But these are some pretty boring aspects of canon and it's hardly ever thought about, so I'm gonna expand upon it.

Hoagie shuts down fast and he shuts down OFTEN. He's rejection sensitive. Now, he's not oblivious. If Wally says something like, "you're so stupid!" he takes it as a joke. The issue is if Wally used a tone that was *off* from his normal joke tones. Intentionally or not, a different tone in any way. Those words would start to ring in Hoagie's ears. He starts to overthink, and of course - shutdown. Anything he was saying prior to this, he'd slowly fade the conversation out and eventually stop talking or responding. He'd try to get himself to a secluded area as soon as he could, to prevent attention being drawn to him. He does a really good job with fading out from conversation because no one knows it's happening until he tells them. They just think he got bored and left.

Like I said, this happens often. Nigel scolding him, him getting bullied at school, Abby ignoring him to focus on work. The list goes on. He's too scared to express how these things make him feel, so he has a shutdown just about every day. His family further encourages this behavior by rewarding silence and scolding him for speaking. Tommy experiences the same stuff, but confidence boosts from Hoagie prevent Tommy from shutting down and staying silent when he's being mistreated. Hoagie never had anyone to stand up for him, though... At least, not after their dad died. He was the only one who tried to stand up for him.

He does a lot of hiding due to his environment at home. His shutdowns always result in him locking himself away and trying to get people to focus on someone else if they try to see what's up. He doesn't have any good coping mechanisms so, to try and "get it over with" he cuts (something he learned about on the early internet). After that, he'll go on to use an actual healthy coping skill like working on his projects or spending time with someone (once he finds his voice again). He feels a lot of guilt for it but because he hides his emotions, it takes a while for people to figure out what's going on and help him out.

In any situation causing distress and self confidence issues, Hoagie will shut down. It tends to happen with raised voices the most, though. If they're away from the treehouse on a mission somewhere and won't be going back for a while, he'll disappear wherever possible. He even becomes known for it, at least to Nigel. Unfortunately, Hoagie has a razor with a seal guard to protect the fabric in his pocket at all times, so he still engages with harmful mechanisms even when away from the treehouse. He put it there for that very reason, but it does double as a good tool if he's in trouble and caught in something... I guess

His shutdowns were a major part of his life from 10-13. They caused loneliness, a lack of help and support, and further fear. Not to mention the harm it caused to his arms because of how he decided to deal with it every time it happened.

On the bright side, Abby and Wally eventually realized things were going on. Wally wasn't much help in his teen years because he fell down the same hole of depression that Hoagie did especially during high school where he was forced to be misgendered, but he helped whenever sane enough to do so. It started off with Abby getting a bit concerned by his tendencies to slip off after Hoagie had mention he loves listening to conversations normally. She tried to be discrete when asking him things about the shutdowns, until they were on a mission away from the treehouse and Abby asked Hoagie if he had anything like scissors to cut something off an old file. She was handed the "infamous stained razor" and of course, freaked the fuck out on him. Not to scare him or anything, but it kind of did since she started asking a bunch of questions he didn't think he'd ever be asked as she paced around anxiously, hitting herself on the head and preventing him from even getting CLOSE to the razor he'd lended her. After that she started being more nosey about his shutdowns. She refused to let him suffer from them as much as he did because she knew he didn't have to. Over time, she managed to understand the signs of shutdowns. Wally did, too. If either of them are around when his shutdown starts, they immediately identify it and follow him off to wherever he ends up going. This soon turned to them actively being found by Hoagie during his shutdowns, and given a simple hand signal to let them know he shut down and needs to be watched over in a safe environment (since by this time at 13-14 he's suffering from genuine addiction to harm, and needs supervision when at risk). They tend to haul him off to a nice, cozy place in the treehouse. There, they'll do whatever Hoagie pleases. He doesn't speak, but he'll make it clear what he wants to do. He'll drop playing cards in front of them, he'll turn on the TV and cling to their sides, sometimes he'll just fall asleep or cuddle up in their arms. His shutdowns became far less stressful and dangerous after Abby and Wally found ways for him to shut down and then unwind in a safe environment. In late teen years Wally became incapable and even unsafe to be around at certain points due to doing the exact same harmful things Hoagie did at that time but Abby still helped keep him safe whenever possible and, in rare instances Wally would be able to when he wasn't unsafe. Abby also did searches of both of Hoagie's rooms (with his permission) every month to cleanse the area of harmful stuff so he couldn't hurt himself even if he didn't properly identify a shutdown and seek help for it. She came out of there with a looot of different things she didn't even know could be used. She disposed of them in secret locations and soon enough she wasn't finding anything in his rooms, which meant his shutdowns were either being had with his trusted partners, or he was capable of having a shutdown all alone without harm being caused. That part kind of goes beyond that point and he does have (even worse) problems still but that doesn't really correlate with his shutdowns so that's for anyone who's interested in his problems with addictions which I'll talk about if people are interested

[olive-oil-drinker]

letting feelings out on art is called “art therapy” and is recommended by therapists as a wonderful, safer coping mechanism! People take back control of their terrible memories and trauma, but the process is messy and can make people uncomfortable, which is why I assume you made this post because you got TrIgGeReD

you should try talking to a therapist one of these days, I’m sure there’s things like online counseling that you can consider looking into, and it’s free!

also, if fiction affects reality in the way you think it does then shouldn’t we ban all media and fiction? FPS games would cause PTSD, GTA would be banned for glorifying violence and Hetalia wouldn’t even be considered a thing since parodying real world countries is a BAD THING!

Do you know why the fandom really fell off though? Because losers like you waste so much time complaining about total strangers that you can block and ignore, rather than engaging with art of people you like, or creating some yourself! That kills creativity after all, why should people make something if it’s not appreciated?

And also: have you touched grass today? It’s wonderful!

ranting and not even showing a DIGITAL profile that NOBODY knows who you are irl is actually fucking insane 😭🙏 don't even touch grass atp go roll around in a field chronically online boss holy shit . also it you ACTUALLY read my post, I said proshipping is not a healthy coping mechanism, it has to affect reality, if you're going through trauma, please go to a therapist, I actually have family issues, displaying characters getting literally abused and disowned by a parent won't help, it'll only make you feel that it's normal, normalizing causing trauma is ACTUALLY SO BAD?? no I wasn't triggered by "creativity" incest isn't creative, even if they aren't related, I'm ranting about how NORMALIZED THIS IS ON TUMBLR?? honestly if you lock the fuck in Hetalia is a COMEDY , with a mature rating and is PROBABLY a joke, like anime twinks as countries in WAR is an obvious fucking joke you probably can't comprehend, seriously, it's like shipping family guy characters but if the ships were problematic ships if your doing this 😭