#I'm considering going back to SD

[ofprevioustimes]

I might just go icon less/fcless for Helen because there is no way I will ever be satisfied.

[rinofwater]

You know, my first instinct is to tell Arvio to stop butting...but I can't even get mad at his suggestion, because I'm definitely planning on using a certain main story plot point in a similar way in my fic if I can ever get that far with it...

[thepunkpanther]

palestine fundraisers

UPDATED 09/25/24 REVAMPED 09/25/24*

this is a comprehensive list of fundraisers that are currently in my ask box. I will try** my best to keep this updated and would appreciate it if you share for reach. I'll sort the list both by vetted and unvetted, as well as their respective currencies. exchange rates can make it more difficult for some to donate.

* added vetted links, vetted by association links, and reverse image links for unvetted campaigns

* I'm trying out this list and will be considering whether it is the best way for me to keep up with the asks. I won't stop sharing GFMs either way, but I may go back to just sharing them individually.

USD: VETTED

@drfarhatblog link $10,034 USD raised of $29,500 target — vetted

@jawad236 link $2,722 USD raised of $30,000 target — vetted. account deleted, can't find link

@asmaamajed2 link $10,066 USD raised of $50,000 goal — vetted

@ahmadwaleed5 link $9,390 USD raised of $25,000 goal — vetted

@nadoosha-sd link $842 USD raised of $25,000 goal — vetted

@rasmi-gaza link $9,466 USD raised of $50,000 goal — vetted

@yousefjehad3 link $8,794 USD raised of $15,000 goal — vetted line #255

@familygazaamal link $1,404 USD raised of $30,000 goal — vetted line #55

@mayadayyad81 link $40,033 USD raised of $50,000 goal — vetted

USD: VETTED BY ASSOCIATION

@amalgheelan99 link $2,922 USD raised of $5,000 goal — vetted by association. account deleted, can't find link

@lamahourani7 link $2,734 USD raised of $10,000 goal — vetted by association

USD: UNVETTED ��� CLEAN REVERSE IMAGE SEARCH

@yasoyonis link $20 USD raised of $12,500 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@mohalwadya2 link $6,732 USD raised of $35,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image is clean (proof x x)

EUR: VETTED

@supportgaza link €31,238 raised of €55,000 goal — vetted line #155

@emkhaledfamily link €5,308 raised of €33,000 goal — vetted line #13

@mohammedatallah link €17,493 raised of €82,000 goal — vetted

@karamalmadhoun0 link €17,362 raised of €20,000 goal — vetted line #113

@mahaibrahim13 link £7,821 raised of £81,000 goal — vetted line #163

@bilalassadabedrou link €9,017 raised of €80,000 goal — vetted

@abedallhferwanagaza link €7,244 raised of €35,000 goal — vetted

@yasermohammad link €23,375 raised of €35,000 goal — vetted

@hassanmadi2 link €1,657 raised of €50,000 goal — vetted

@kalilahmad450 link €1,130 raised of €50,000 goal — vetted

@hadeelmekki link €16,995 raised of €35,000 goal — vetted

@abdelmutei link €13,380 raised of €25,000 goal — vetted

@ahmeedsworld link €18,562 raised of €80,000 goal — vetted

@shamraed link €1,223 raised of €35,000 goal — vetted line #8

EUR: UNCLEAR IF VETTED

@osama-family link £3,630 raised of £50,000 goal — unclear if vetted

@hanyfamily link €594 raised of €20,000 goal — unclear if vetted

EUR: VETTED BY ASSOCIATION

@maysaayahya85 link €639 raised of €35,000 goal — vetted by association

@abdalsalm link €1,896 raised of €50,000 goal — vetted by association

EUR: UNVETTED — CLEAN REVERSE IMAGE SEARCH

@m0hammedashraf link €15 raised of €50,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@moomensblog link €213 raised of €30,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@kareem-sd link €3,710 raised of €50,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@wejdan-32 link €1,933 raised of €20,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@aiamaher link €1,924 raised of €55,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@helpamalm link €1,296 raised of €53,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@ibrahem-4 link €262 raised of €30,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

@mohammednasers-blog link €5,527 raised of €38,000 goal — unvetted but reverse image search is clean (proof x x)

and please check out these lists. some of them are far more comprehensive and helpful, have family sizes, gfm titles, and particularities such as illness or injuries

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List by @/el-shab-hussein & @/nabulsi

GazaVetters by @/gazavetters

The ButterflyEffect Project***

***I do not know who organized or vetted this list. The Butterfly Effect Project has contact information if you are curious and their instagram is here.

MORE LINKS AND RESOURCES

Daily Click for Palestine

Palestine MASTERLIST — an EXTREMELY thorough masterlist for educational and aid purposes

Operation Olive Branch — movement to support & amplify aid requests of Palestinian families

Connecting Gaza — eSims for Gaza

Palestine Academy — educating the digital space about Palestine to reclaiming the narrative

[libraryofloveletters]

Are You Serious?

Jenson Button x Fem!Reader

Warnings: lowkey sd!jenson cause thats my favourite, jenson is over your excessive packing, minor stealing if you can even consider it that, mark cameo! and suggestive commentary.

Word Count: 589

Author's Note: would it be me if I didn't do a sugar daddy jenson blurb? I'm manifesting this life for me.

--

Prompt: "You have a whole suitcase full of your own clothes, and you still insist on wearing mine?"

New York was snowy and cold. The snow had been coming down consistently over the last few days that you had been in the city and your boyfriend, well, if you could call him that, was at home in London.

You had to get back to London after you're done in New York but before you could make it back to London, Jenson called you.

"Come to the Bahamas with me." He tells you over the phone. Your brows furrowed, looking at the man on FaceTime. "What? why are you going to the Bahamas?"

"I'm sick of the cold."

"I was coming back to London in 2 days. "

"Just fly from JFK, babe."

Your brows furrowed yet again, not sure why he'd suggest that, unless- "you bought my ticket already huh?"

Jenson smiles at you sheepishly. "Check your email."

--

There you were, 3 days to Christmas and you were laying in a hammock on the beach in the Bahamas. Jenson was hiding from the sun; ironic, considering he was the one who wanted to come to the Bahamas. Then again, he was sunburnt already.

Jenson leans on the doorframe, looking out onto the sunny deck. "Sweetheart, you're going to burn out there."

"Unlike you, I remembered sunscreen and I've been turning."

"Turning?" Jenson asks, you can hear the stupid joke forming before he even says it. "Like a rotisserie chicken?"

You sat up, looking at the man. "I know you did not just compare me to a rotisserie chicken."

"Just come in," his hand shields his eyes from the sun. "I don't want my chicken to burn."

"Can you stop calling me that?" You got up, groaning as you made your way inside. Jenson laughs, patting your bum as you walk past. It didn't take long for him to cling to you, humming at the warmth on your skin. "You know, Mark is here too."

"Is that so?" You asked. Jenson nods, you're certain he's already made plans with his friend. "He uh.. he asked if we wanted to have dinner together."

You turn to face your boyfriend, "he asked or you suggested?"

"Okay," he mumbles, raising his hands in surrender. "You caught me."

You laughed, ignoring Jenson's childish behaviour. You had to pull yourself away from him, going to take a shower while Jenson got ready for dinner. Your boyfriend has stepped out of the room to take a phone call when you return from your shower, robe wrapped around you as you tumble through his suitcase.

Jenson leans on the door, watching as you look through his luggage, his brows furrowed. "Excuse me miss, what are you doing ?"

You sat on the floor, smiling at your boyfriend. "Looking for something to wear."

"You have a whole suitcase full of your own clothes, and you still insist on wearing mine?" His head tilts in disapproval.

"Technically," you start, counting the blue suitcases in the room. "I have three suitcases."

"And there's nothing to wear in them?"

"Uh well, to be fair. I didn't pack much clothes." "There are three suitcases, babe. What on earth do you have in them then?"

You shrug, "I didn't think we'd be leaving the room much so.. it's only bikinis and lingerie."

Jenson smiles, his cheeks flushed at the mention of the contents of your luggage. "Yeah.. I can just cancel on Mark tonight.."

You can see the gears turning in his head as he walks towards you, a goofy grin on his face. "Don't do that, keep it in your pants, Jenson."

[crsssie]

red robin in the flesh - tim drake x reader (pretty bird countdown #4)

You show up to the con in the suit, camera in hand as you greet old friends and introduce new ones. Tim leaves half an hour early so you can start setting up, checking your SD card for storage and waiting around as a progressively bigger and bigger group of people dressed as Red Robin shows up. You find it hysterical. You wonder if Tim would actually pass as a cosplay if he showed up without a mask. Maybe you should've just had him do that.

"I have a surprise!" You yell, telling everyone to group in for the photo, backing up as everyone crowds in for a collective photo.

You back up until you hit someone, and you turn your head as the group starts yelling.

"Perfect timing! Do you mind taking the photo for us? Nice cosplay, by the way."

"Oh... stannie." Tim bites back the words pretty bird as he takes the camera from you.

"Stannie, really babe?"

"I'm telling your husband you're cheating on him." He snickers.

You hiss at him as you back up to get into the photo. Camera shutter clicking as he gives everyone a thumbs up to shuffle around.

"How the FUCK did you get Red Robin himself here?!"

"How much did you pay him?!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!?"

You tuck behind Red Robin as everyone swarms up to you to ask questions, others swarming around him to talk to him and ask for autographs. You look through the photos behind him, ignoring everyone asking you how you managed to have Red Robin himself in the meetup, but it's not your problem. You just told Tim to take an earlier shift. Also, you're sure Duke wouldn't complain all that much when he gets to rest early.

"Alright, duty calls." Tim checks his watch, taking a couple steps back as he reaches for his grapple.

People start to leave slowly, and you send everyone the photo as you go around.

The last day of the con, Tim goes as Thanatos, and you watch as he gets the biggest ego boost of his life when everyone goes up to take a photo with him. You're practically his photographer, laughing as Tim rolls his eyes when you stick your tongue out at him to have him smile for the photo.

"I'll break character."

"Thanatos is secretly a big softie. You'll live." You pat him on the back, stretching as Tim grumbles. His hand finds your waist naturally, resting on your bare skin as you show him the photos. He'd rather you take photos with others than photos of him. His thumb brushes your back as you him a particularly good shot, lips curled upwards.

"See? You look great as Thanatos."

"I'd look better if we got to pose for photos. Consider hiring a photographer next time?" He takes the camera from your hand, chest sticking to your back as he huffs. "You look better than me."

"Thank you, babe." You snort. "You're adorable."

"Of course." He hums, taking the camera from you as someone stops to compliment your cosplay. He shakes the camera in his hand, taking a photo as he watches the other person drop to their knees and open a ring. The gesture makes you laugh, taking a step back as Tim puts the camera down to raise a brow, and you take another step back as the guy moves forward on his knee.

"Babe." You step towards Tim, hand reaching for yours as he pulls you behind him.

"You good? We can leave early." He nods. 

"It's fine." You shake your head. "I wanna make one last run for the artist alley."

"You sure?"

You turn to check for the guy, and Tim covers your eyes as he talks to the guy, sorting the issue out. You peek his hands off, patting his back as the other guy apologizes for making you uncomfortable. The rest passes quickly, and Tim pinches your cheek as you scrunch your face.

"Better? We can head back to the alley for the rest of the day."

You nod. "I feel so bad for making you do all this for me." 

"Nonsense." He huffs. "You take care of me so much more than I do you."

"Do I?" You mumble, reaching for the camera as he rests his forehead on yours. 

"You just don't know it" He grins.

[simplydnp]

crying bc i'm literally gonna be nearby during the SD show but im not going to TIT

i'm unable to go alone and i ain't taking my parents with me, especially after seeing spoilers.

i could buy a ticket! i could go! i could fill up a seat! but i'm too embarrassed and scared 💀 also i don't wanna out myself like that lol

i don't know your situation, so your safety is of utmost importance. if you think it'll out you, and that that will have serious consequences, don't go.

however

if that is not your scenario, and it is something else holding you back (shame, guilt, anxiety, etc) then i am going to gently encourage you to go.

you say you are unable to go alone, so this is me assuming you can't transport yourself there & back, hence the parents mention. i would also not take my parents to TIT--even if my dad wasn't extremely homophobic--bc good lord i could never look them in the eyes again and my mother would ask Too Many Questions.

if it's something you're really considering, see what you might have to do to make it happen. it may be easier than you think--dnp work their magic like that sometimes. (siblings, aunts/uncles, friends in the area, trusted local transit--there are options. but again, safety is your priority)

in terms of embarrassment and fear--i understand feeling that way. i've got a lot of shame tied up in any of my interests. it's hard to 'be my full self' in front of people. but i also know i was so fucking sad i couldn't go to ii. and then the hiatus happened and i Vowed that if they ever toured together again (and if i had the means), i would go. so i'm pushing that embarrassment aside bc ykw? it's cool to like things, actually. it's awesome to have a passion. kill the fear of cringe.

you didn't mention where your fear is centered, so here's an interpretation. it's scary being in a room full of people that like what you like. bc they Know what you like. and that's terrifying. but it's also kind of freeing. bc these are your people. they're full fledged humans. and guess what? they also like dnp. so it's okay. you're okay

[buffyfan145]

Hello! I've seen a lot of your takes about the relationship between Sauron and Galadriel, so I decided to ask you. Some people keep saying that the kiss that so much is being talked about will be between Gal and Cel, but like why? There's not a single hint that he's going to appear this season, no one even mentions his name, not to mention that he wasn't even cast. Usually in shows somehow try to prepare the viewer to the appearance of a new character or something. I mean it will be somehow out of nowhere, plus it's too early for him. And I think when they actually cast Cel actor, it won't be hidden and they'll say it directly. Anyway I'm Haladriel shipper, but I don't think the kiss will be between them, at least in the classical sense. Maybe Sauron kiss her hand or something like that? Also, I want to add about the kiss between Gal and Cel, let's say it's true, but why is the kiss described as shocking? Like they're husband and wife. And I also saw a couple of opinions that a kiss is possible between Gal and Elrond, which seems even more improbable to me. Like she put her hand on Elrond's chest and some considered it a romantic gesture… but she was literally thinking about Halbrand at that moment! And I have one more question for you, what do you think about the shot where Galadriel is wearing a hood at night and someone is standing behind her, maybe a random orc or Halbrand or someone else? I hope my message didn't scare you with its long :D

No worries about the ask being long. I've actually gotten longer. LOL 😀 I have posted about the kiss before and who it could be with her and it's not Celeborn. I think it's people hoping it's him but he hasn't been cast. The writers confirmed it at SD Comic Con but did say both him and Glorfindel will eventually be in the show. I agree with you when he is cast it will be announced separately as he will be a series regular. There is a chance he could show up in the finale as a surprise but I still kind of doubt it. They're going to have to choose the right actor too, especially with how Haladriel has been and the chemistry between Morfydd and Charlie, which makes me think it could be someone well known that already has a fanbase. I'm hoping for that too as we know she ends up with him and I want him to be likable (also would be great if it's someone I'm already a fan of LOL) and show that she loves him too. But again I'm certain he's not in season 2 at all.

Then I highly doubt it's Elrond, despite some "leaks" on 4Chan and Reddit saying it is, since Morfydd gave an interview at the s2 premiere in London back on the 20th that she loved filming their non-romantic friendship. Her saying that implying there's no kissing like that at all between them, and knowing he's her future son-in-law I can't see the show going there.

So that brings me back to Sauron. I can't see it being anyone else besides maybe Celebrimbor as he was in love with Galadriel in some 1st Age stories before she married Celeborn, but the show would have to get permission to use that from the estate and it seems a bit strange now to do that.

I agree too it could be a hand/ring kiss and I've thought this since the filming video came out for the music in the s2 finale. However, now the show in ep 2.2 showed she's in love with Halbrand/Sauron. Then yesterday we got confirmation from their main director in a podcast interview that by the end of the season she said the show will show that Sauron actually loves Galadriel too. So it's more of a tragic love story as they both are in love but they are enemies and we know it ends tragically and they can't be together. So it's starting to seem possible they do actually share a kiss. I don't want to get my hopes up too high but it does seem to be leaning that way, especially with it being "shocking" as me being a fan since the movies came out when I was in high school I never thought I'd ship them and some still don't see it as romantic, but this would actually prove it is.

So we'll see what happens and I'm sure we'll get more clues each week with the new episodes. And about that scene with the hood I think it's either an arc or Adar. We know she gets captured by them but also ends up working with him. So it could be when that happens.

[springmetaldragon]

Working on a guide! It will take collaboration! Anyone interested lmk. You're all so very awesome! <3

LISTEN to each other!!! You all are so smart and talented and skilled and needed, so very needed! Every one of you is an expert in something and a student in something - use that! We can all do this together!

Now is not the time to go dark. It is the time to connect with each other, to form networks across the country. It would be a danger and a shame to not form communications networks for everyone who needs them.

Downloading Briar, preferably through F-Droid, and Tutanota or Protonmail for encrypted chats and email. Switch or dual boot w/ Partition to Linux on your PC if you're feeling frisky. (or you could use a portable USB OS as one brilliant commenter stated, very useful for certain situations.)

Use Protonmail (EDIT: PROTONMAIL MAY or MAY NOT be compromised. Afaik it is safe for now despite the publicly announced support for chester cheetoes.) for encrypted comms too.

Discord, Fb, Ig, Xitler can be trusted only as far as those who own them.

Archive important and potentially subversive data and info, such as scientific literature, statistics, books. Compress it and encrypt it, back it up, stick it on your own old laptop servers, USB drives, SD cards, mirror it if possible and safe.

(Y'ALL LEARN ABOUT GPG/PGP & OPSEC I'M SERIOUS!)

THIS WILL BE CONTINUOUSLY UPDATED FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE:

LIST OF SAFE (AFAIK) COMMS:

Signal (POTENTIALLY UNSAFE! As per one brilliant commenter: "They removed a lot of the encryption feature of signal when they forked. And turned to a tor style node dispersal of messages... who owns the nodes... thats murky." DO DUE DILLIGENCE!)

Session (POTENTIALLY UNSAFE! DO DUE DILLIGENCE!)

Briar

Meshstatic

Tutanota

LIST OF OTHER STUFF:

Nextcloud (good for SOME content collaboration, don't rely on it for everything! See what you can get out of Tutanota's servers. And compress those files as needed!)

Meshstatic again

Tails OS (Good anticensorship and anti-surveillance OS)

Linux-based phone OS's

GrapheneOS for phone

Other software you may consider: (from (user not on Tumblr) - thank you!)

QuickHash - integrity checking for files you download, to make sure they haven't been tampered with. Assumed you have a known-good hash for comparison. Also makes sure the download wasn't corrupted by accident.

OpenPuff - steganography software. Hide a photo within another photo. Don't consider this to be too secure.

VeraCrypt - Encryption software for local files or hard disk drives.

Filekiller and/or Eraser - secure deletion for files. I'm not sure how effective this is currently; if it's that serious, you'd be better served loading your OS into RAM.

CCleaner - removes excess temporary files (mostly windows utility, idk if they have versions for other operating systems). Also not sure how effective this is currently. If it's that serious, don't use Windows.

(OOP here- CCleaner may pose a hazard to your system if not used properly! More specifically, I've been warned that it can break registries. I don't know exactly how this works atm but just know that using caution is needed - as it is for ALL of these things! Don't let this discourage you from learning. Instead of CCleaner, if you can get away with it use Windows Disk Cleaner! Safer and you don't need admin privileges!! Ty to another awesome commenter for this)

Knowing how to use these is way more important than having them, but having them is a good start.

If anybody knows more please say so; tech moves fast and I've not followed up on these for a few years. ____________________________________________________________________________

KNOW THE LIMITATIONS OF YOUR SYSTEM if you're very new at all of this! They are all built differently, and some PC's can do things some other PC's and laptops could never dream of. Be mindful not to overburden your machine in any way!

Another thing is to have Python downloaded and knowing how to use PowerShell if you're still working on Windows as a digital archivist (unadvised to work on Win somewhat, but this method is useful for batch downloading files, encrypting them if you are working through Win. Also - if you're new new at this, know how much storage you have, and how fast your machine can batch download relative to how much you're going to download and how fast!)

Remember: this isn’t just about privacy! It’s about anti-censorship, access to knowledge and community, communication, effective reporting, and even visibility of our numbers. Not everyone’s needs are the same, and where some need ultimate privacy for safety, others are just seeking a way to be able to communicate effectively without censorship. Some may even want to be visible. But if we don't try, if we don't strive, we won't accomplish anything.

It's important to prioritize safety, you engage in activities at your own risk only when the risks of doing otherwise are too great.

It’s also important to show them that we are here, we’re not going away, and that we can ORGANIZE. We won’t be scared off. We will do whatever is necessary to push back against the oppression our community faces, as well as the oppression other communities face.

We will do whatever it takes to survive and thrive. We won’t be divided into obscurity, we will unite and do this together. Stay safe out there! Remember your contributions are important! You can do something, even if you're not familiar with tech. We need you!

[satancopilotsmytardis]

Exhibitionism

Dabi first started doing cam shows mostly as a joke. He didn't think that anyone would actually tune in, and some friends of his that are sex workers told him that kind of work was more reliable than arson jobs, though they kept their ears out for him on that front. He said that he couldn't risk getting an infection and not two weeks later they hooked him up with one of their hand-me-down laptops and a SD webcam along with an account they'd set up in his name. Try it once, they'd said. His look is so unique and his voice is exactly the kind of thing that other people will be interested in. The fact it had not only worked, but he had gotten off harder than he had in his entire life told him that he was absolutely fucked and that he wasn't going to be able to just stop like he'd thought. He'd started doing the cam shows, and soon got enough money to turn that into his primary source of income, and in a matter of months, enough that he was able to get a better camera, have an apartment of his own, stay healthy, survive. Things were good. 

He had been intrigued when he was reached out to on his profile asking him if he had ever considered putting on a live event. Dabi had planned on dismissing that out of hand, but the account that reached out proclaimed to be the official one for some big, well-regarded sex club in Kamino. After a little back and forth with the owner, a man named Tomura Shigaraki, they set his compensation, a date, and finalized the rest of his details. 

And the first time he had been there, in a gaudy red room with a wall of mirrored glass between him and the crowd of people who had shown up to watch him, Dabi had been floating so high afterward that he had a hard time focusing at all when Shigaraki came in after the show to check in. Thankfully, the other man was a practiced dom in and out of the club and he had just made sure that Dabi had water, a snack, and enough blankets to stop shivering until he came all the way down from the high. And when Dabi was sane again and he got his cut of ticket sales and the base fee they'd agreed to, he had been more than enticed to come back to V for a few more sessions. 

It took about seven before the flirting that had been a low simmer between he and Duster had gotten hot enough that he asked if the club owner would partner with him for one of the shows. That first time lived in infamy because it was the only time that Dabi had managed to cum five times in a single session, and he'd been sobbing at the end of it. So that became a bit more frequent as well, though they always kept things very professional outside of the red room. Not like Dabi was dreaming of the next time he could hop on Shig's dick day and night or anything. 

He wonders if it would be as good if he didn't know that there were so many eyes on them as Shigaraki holds him on the bed. They're facing the mirrored window, his back to Tomura's chest, hips framed by Shigaraki's legs, his arms tied behind him as his temporary dom touches him. A tremble goes through his skin as he does, reaching between his legs to spread him open, ignoring his cock that is already achingly full and choked with a cock plug that is stretching his insides and holding his pleasure tight behind his head. 

"Look at that, your pretty pussy is already dripping." Tomura's voice is low in his ear as he rubs his fingers over Dabi's hole, already soaked with lube from preparing for this session. "You can't help it, can you? Such a needy attention whore."

Dabi whines, "Like it when you show me off, Daddy." 

"I know you do, princess." Tomura presses a kiss to his cheek and then he reaches for the length of seven black anal beads that's waiting for them on the bed. "Now let's show everyone just how greedy your messy cunt is." The first bulb isn't that big, but the sensation of the solid silicone being pushed inside is nice. It's not the thing that has him moaning though. It's Tomura murmuring, "That's it, I'm going to stuff you full, and when we're finished, I'm going to pull them all out and show everyone how wide you're stretched. They're going to see all the way inside of you, princess, and they're all going to be so jealous that I'm the one who gets to paint your walls with cum." Dabi trembles in the other's embrace, his cock aching sharply from being plugged as Tomura pairs the words with pushing the second bead inside of him, nearly double the size of the first. He can see them in the mirror, but Dabi doesn't care about that. He just looks because he knows that beyond the thin barrier, there are people watching him as hungrily as his hole is opening up for the beads. Hotter just because he likes to put on a show and because he knows that he and Shigaraki always put on the best.

[saltyr3mix]

ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD: Winnie HCs?

BITES YOU BITES YOU BITES YOU

Ok- so ok- I'm excited I'm gona go off prompt a bit because he's my second favorite character in the show and it's wonderful.

One thing I'd like to state for the record, in most of my aus he's actually a good guy. Or a good man in a bad situation. There are a few exceptions. Yluid Winnie is definitely not a protagonist and he's probably committed a lot of violence in the hero au- and you know what!

Because my Winnie head cannons change depending on the au I'm just going to talk about all my different versions of him!

To learn from the tragedies: what? He's in that au!? Yes<3. Not until book two but he comes into play. Sara basically has to build this like full out summoning circle and bam! They have Carlos back on their side. But not fully. I haven't decided where he lies in terms of memories yet but I know he's going to be a pain to everyone no matter who's side he's on.

Shattered dreams: SD LORE IN 2024!??! yes. Sd!Winnie is so special to me guys he commits unethical sciences, he falls from the celling, he tears out peoples worst insecurities, he hates him self, he has the largest ego, he's just a guy, he's the biggest threat these guys have ever faced, he'll try to be nice to one set of kids but the second they get out of hand give up trying. He's so- just imperfect. If I were to have finished the fic he would have eventually been swayed over, likely for a silly and dumb reason but ends being a super valuable ally in the final battle and what not.

Swap au: NOT the shuffle au, the skating in silence one. It's never mentioned but in that au Carlos takes the place of alison. I find this to be the funny thing known to man. Imagine, your savior, your light as your dying,the one who's guarding and protecting souls with an incomprehensible power. AND ITS CARLOS NICHOLSON. even funnier if wiatts the main protagonist and nearly died only to have his grandfather next to him like "get up kid! We still have work to do! I didn't raise you to die you idiot! Are you going to save your Twink or not?!!" Idk I find it just- harious I'm sorry -

I will make them create my world: he's uh- he's the Brights royal advisor of War. (Did I do this just so I could make Owen a general......no- shut up- don't look at my other hyper fixation)

Buried masks: ohhhh this one's fun. Uhm. You'll see him around. He's a doctor in this au. Really good friends with Litho, they like go golfing together. Knows the main cast pretty well. Buddies with Eric, teases founder trio and wiatt, gives the kids 15 dollar gift cards on their birthdays and has the best Halloween candy, he always gets full sized candy bars. Uhmmm yep. And he doesn't do anything morally wrong or questionable at all ever. Nope why would you say that about him. Accusing him of horrifically preforming inhumane procedures on kids in order to save his grandson?!? Pfff- what- ha! Never...... Don't ask where the supplies keeps going.

Superhero au: haven't fully developed him yet, he's a retired villain. Rich and has beef with Damien. (Everyone has beef with Damien in this au.) Probably the owner of whatever company Wiatt works for and is sort of in the background that people go to for funding or just to reference past villains. i think his powers had something to do with cameras. haven't entirely decided because it hasn't come up yet.

Steven Universe au: Hesssssssssss participating in evil experiments again. Hes Saras pearl but also just, actually enjoys the messed-up sciences and doing the test and experiments. he likes being her assistant. he likes the power that comes with it. he just helps her with the smaller finer details on her works and so, Acrimony's and Damien have a lot of trauma form in. He probably played a role in some of the triplet's issues as well just from being mean. but overall he's just sort of a threat to get around.

Super-Secret Oc Au/ Mine and Dangers au: So consider chat, Carlos Nicholson and Carly Gale forming a toxic, slightly dependent relationship after a lot of stuff goes down. Did Winnie kill her loved ones and then....not tell the truth about it? yes. Did he also by accident end up providing her comfort and helped her grieve though it? yes. he tried to help her. she just.....kept asking questions in the wrong direction and now their both upset because Winnie was finally able to have someone not hates him and understand that his hand is being forced here. Anyway, Carly stole his house and now lives in the abandoned arcade building and uses Winnie to help get information on how to handle the dreamworld situation. (The only reason Carly isn't Dead is because Vivian is instead) Winnies relationship with Norman in this au is also fantastic and deserves a shout out, i nearly wrote out a one-shot scene from this au about Norman and Morris and angst between them but it ended up spiraling into Norman and Winnie Nonsense and then i didn't want to write the original idea anymore because they were too silly. AND HIM AND DOT. OH BOY I DONT KNOW IF I WANT TO GET INTO THAT RIGHT NOW BECUASE THATS ITS WHOLE THING AND YEAH. I'll let Theater explain that one if you're curious. You'll live until i die, and other canon typical one shots: i try to follow canon for these but i think i make him ever so slightly meaner, but not in a...like evil way? more in a game host or like a dramatic way. he uses more insults than actions. but is also just not able to be taken seriously at points. One of my favorite times ive ever written him is a scene in YLUID between just him and ben and he has one single piece of information he needs, but physically cannot help himself from being as cryptic and threating as possible to the point it nearly completely backfires and the thing hes trying not reveal gets revealed. the best way i can describe this interaction is Winnie rolling three nat ones in a row while trying to have a conversation and its hilarious. Also in that au he does actually get defeated and beat up! he is so pathetic <3

Anyway, i think that's Winnie. that's my guy! i have a key chain of him and a friend....Void, who was the asker of this wonderful comment. Painted him for me that i have hung up in my room because i think he is one of the funniest failures of all time and he has a special place in my heart for that.

[fruitless-vain]

if your looking for someone for something like counterbalance and more mobility stuff have you taken a look at some more uncommon breeds? Like obvi you know your stuff and to look for a good breeder but I wonder if you would have more trouble finding a good solid reputable breeder for a service golden because they are so popular as pets. Im rather short too and I have to lean down a little to touch mines back so if you do need a support like that I would take the height into account. Im sure you know this already too but in case you don't they are prone to hypothyroidism! hope you don't mind me jumping in with that! I'm curious what other breeds your considering, I would love to hear your reasoning for each one as I find that stuff super interesting! Im sure when the need arises though whatever dog you get will be great! Your a great trainer!

Definitely don’t mind!

My biggest concern going with an off breed is that I already had to delay Yoshis service work for 4-5 YEARS because of working through reactivity, sound sensitivity and other things that are common in herders. I really do want to stick to the fab 4 this time around because although I’m capable of training through hard things I really don’t want the high risk of going off-breed and potentially being stuck with Yoshi retired and no suitable SD replacement due to unforeseen issues that arose.

The fab 4 for service work are labs, goldens, poodles, and rough collies

My priorities for a SD are light mobility tasks, counterbalance, not super vocal, good off switch/ ability to settle for long durations comfortably, confidence, scent alerts

My preferences for dogs in general are: not super greasy, not going to piss on their leg before entering a store (looking at you, male dogs), manageable coat length that won’t get super gross during slushy winter season.

Labs: they’re a viable option, truly, I just can’t say I’ve really been interested in the breed, there are a lot of breeders in the area, lots that are used for actual hunting, but I find a Good lab breeder is usually pretty entitled and rude. Also more prone to using balanced training methods around here which isn’t how I want my SD to be exposed to things at a developmental age. If it came down to it labs would probably be my second option. They’re pretty greasy and I don’t adore the super short coats although it is a Good Thing for cleanliness and upkeep. Solid temperaments and structure for the work I need (dependent on lines ofc). I did try to contact a lab breeder years ago and just got completely ghosted, kinda put me off the Lab People quite a bit. Also quite a few labs in my area are hella reactive? Which shouldn’t be the case but is definitely something I’m wary of when looking for a prospect

Poodles: that’s too much grooming for me, too vocal for me, all in all just Too Much For Me, I’m sorry they’re not gonna happen for me

Rough collies: they’re mostly show lines around here and those coats are definitely not going to be the best option for trekking through a muddy slushy parking lot and not tracking that filth through a store. I /could/ manage the grooming and the breed is more my Vibe but also have to consider the amount of unwanted attention I’d draw. I just want to get my meds and go, I don’t want to hear 1000 lassie comments, get stopped every five steps. Not to mention keeping that coat length Safe, they might get caught in escalators, sit on gum on the floor, spilled honey, or other nonsense that would just be an awful experience for that dog. I do love them though, I find the ones around here to be a bit less confident though, more sound sensitive, a bit more potential not to succeed in service work in that regard. They’re also BIG which is hard to navigate stores with

Goldens: they’re a good mix of the things I like in a dog. I like the coat length, it’s not super greasy, average grooming needs, still got that water dog resistance to filth without being excessively oily. Coat isn’t long enough (in working lines) to drag through sticky messes in stores and less risk for escalators. Good temperaments, more confident, sociable, plenty of drive but generally able to relax and settle in different environments well, not prone to reactivity, biddable. They’re on the smaller side which makes navigating narrow store aisles a bit nicer over your v large collies and poodles. Not the worst for health issues with the main one being cancer and most other things being able to be avoided with healthy parents having proper test results, allergies could happen but I can manage that, hyperthyroidism I’ll have to do more reading in to!

With relative breed sizing a golden should still fall in that safe height and weight range for the tasks that I require. For me personally if they end up slightly undersized there’s some tasks I can manage without, the counterbalance would be nice to have but I can also manage with walls and things or other aids if it comes to that, the light guiding is more priority on that side of things.

This is all very early thoughts at the moment though, I don’t expect to get serious about things for another 5 years so this is all just *thoughts* at the moment

[four-alligators-in-a-trenchcoat]

Transitioning to a Flip Phone: Beginning

As my semester started winding down, and finals started ranking up I found myself going back to the ever-present though of transitioning to a flip phone. I finally did it! Here is how it is going. I had done tons of research about transitioning to a flip phone months before hand, I didn't have many requirements like needing WhatsApp or any particular apps as I had access to my computer for specific things such as banking and schoolwork. I ended up going with the Sunbeam Bluebird for a couple reasons, despite its price. (also I just wrote it off as a reward for completing my semester lol)

Accessibility: I knew I wanted a T9 flip phone, a QRTY keyboard would have never worked for me at a flip phone size, woe to my fine motor skills. Voice-to-text is an option if you pay for the subscription (I do) and so although I try to exclusively type as a way to get proficient, longer more urgent texts can be sent quickly. Its very accurate as well! Restrictions: No social media! No googling! No videos! Nothing! Its all I have ever wanted from a flip phone, restriction wise. Instagram reels is/was such an addiction for me, and even with time-limits, greyscale, and just un-downloading it, I always came back to scroll. I was debating on whether or not I wanted a search engine, because although I love to google all the random questions I have, I also will absolutely read on AO3 for as much time as I can possibly allocate to that. Although I am not a huge fan of reading FF on the laptop, its a small workaround for the benefits im seeing. On the case of music: Spotify, I REALLY wanted to keep this as an app, but knew that with what I was looking for I would need to take that loss. I can download music onto the phone through an SD card, and it still has bluetooth which means I am still able to use my noise-cancelling headphones. Additionally, I mainly listen to music while im studying, which means I can just listen through my laptop; and I dont mind driving in silence. Basic Qualifications: Number one, navigation, Im in an area where the construction is crazy and I cant always rely on road signs. I live out in the country, so I havent needed or had the chance to memorize anything other than my usual routes and highways. Luckily, the Bluebird has Waze (which I had never used before) but it works really well! I will need to find a way to attach it to my dash so I'm not looking down at my lap though... I mentioned bluetooth in restrictions, but it was important to me that I could connect my QuiteComfort Bose headphones, especially being on a loud college campus and needing some peace and quiet to study properly.

The transitionary phase was incredibly easy, I have an AT&T phone plan and I just switched my SIM card from my iPhone to my Bluebird. Boom. Done. I imported my contacts with a MicroSD card which was equally as efficient. I can still access and use Messages on my MacBook, but they don't sync to my flip phone. All messages go through to the device I last messaged on. I did have to manually set up my voicemail, but that didnt take much effort.

The only difficulties I have had to deal with is that both my job and my school require apps for two-factor authentication. I believe I can work around that for my school, and get authentication codes by text message, but for my work I don't have that option. This is a big reason why I am considering keeping my iPhone useable, just without a SIM.

On the note of what I am going to do with my iPhone, for right now it is being kept charged and usable, because I'm still transitioning some of the information (like menstrual trackers) and the mentioned need for TFA. Another PRO about the Bluebird is that it does have hotspot capabilities, so Im assuming I would be able to connect my iPhone if I was ever out in the wild and needed to use it, assuming of course that I had taken my iPhone with me.

Day 3 Final Overview:

I have gotten quicker at typing on the T9 predictive keyboard and feel confident responding to messages without using text-to-speech. I also figured out how to attach media to my messages, which means everybody is receiving grainy low-quality pictures of my cats. Im finding that I have so much extra time to do things during the day. Where keeping up with household chores sometimes gets overwhelming by becoming a huge task to schedule into my day, I can do smaller things during downtime. Reheating some food for lunch? Five minuets in the toaster? Boom, I can clean off the counters, sweep the floor, and pick up a little as I wait. That makes such a huge impact on my day-to-day especially compared to the 40 reels I could have seen and than totally forgotten. I learned how to change the ring-tones for my contacts and notifications. There is a 'wolf howling' option that has been dedicated to my friends, of course. The little jingle of my phone can only mean that someone has texted me, so I'm less paranoid about notifications and the urge to pick up my phone whenever I see the screen light up. That was such a huge distraction in my day, picking up my iPhone to check my notifications quickly turned into a 'quick scroll' through Pinterest (my beloved) or Instagram, which was constantly detrimental to my studies. In overview, I'm having a good time and I'm excited to stick with it, especially as winter break approaches (TWO MORE FINALS LEFT LETS GO) and I have a ton of free time I would have spent on my phone. I'm excited to start reading more!

[rykno-j]

Stay? (B/SD)

Summary: basically c/huuya gets sick and d/azai takes care of him, very cliche

Ship: s/kk

Notes: my first b/sd fic. honestly i never intended to write one, but here we are. This fic was drafted Sept 21 2023 and wow that's been awhile huh.

They might be a little ooc here since i'm trying my hand at their characterisation for the first time. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!

also i figured ild add this in here but this fic is sickfic>snzfic so there isnt much of that kinda stuff here

Word count: 4.5k

------------------------------------------------

"Chuuya, rest."

The red markings on Chuuya's arm slowly disappeared as he fell to the floor in a soft grunt. Letting go of his arm down in an action of indifference, Dazai stepped over his sprawled out body.

"Took you long enough, honestly. It was almost like you were taking your own sweet time, don't want me to touch you that badly?"

When he was met with no response, Dazai sighed dramatically.

"Chibi? Oi, are you dead? You're not allowed to go before me, you know that. Oi!"

He turns back, this time with an eyebrow raised at the unmoving Chuuya-lump on the floor. Seriously? He would've expected the slug to reply with a "I'll kill you first" or a punch of sorts.

Chuuya was never quite as energetic after using Corruption, but this silence was new.

And so Dazai does the next most logical thing, which was to kick him with the edge of his shoe, once, twice, thrice- Alright, something was wrong.

Doing a quick check of his surroundings for any passersby (god forbid anyone from the Port Mafia or the ADA see what he was about to do next), Dazai knelt down next to Chuuya's body, flipping him onto his back.

"Oi Chibi!"

When he was met with no response, Dazai seriously considered leaving Chuuya in the middle of what used to be the battlefield. Surely someone would find him eventually, right?

It was how it always was, how it always has been.

Though.. there was no one in their vicinity at the moment, and it won't hurt to check Chuuya's vitals, to make sure the idiot didn't actually die on him.

Two fingers were swiftly placed under Chuuya's chin, and- Fever. Dazai was fairly sure that he felt fever under his fingers.

There was a steady heartbeat too, so that was good at least.

But a fever? Surely he was imagining it. Yes, Chuuya tended to run a little hot, both in his temperature and in his temper (although most of the time it was directed at Dazai himself), but there was no mistaking the heat that he was radiating.

This time, the pair of bandaged hands reached for Chuuya's shoulders, giving him a couple shakes, which proved successful as he heard the other below him let out a soft groan.

"..D'zai?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Immediately knowing what Dazai was referring to, Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows into a frown. "Idiot, it's none of your concern. Just take me back home."

Dazai opened his mouth to complain, but stopped when he saw Chuuya's eyes slide back shut. Seriously? Seriously. It was not the first time Chuuya had made a similar request, and it would also not be the first time if Dazai just walked off into the distance, leaving him there alone.

Despite that, Dazai always made sure that Chuuya was okay before he abandoned the other. Did this count as 'okay'?

And so,

"You owe me one.." Dazai caved, reaching out to lift Chuuya onto his back. He considered for a second just grabbing Chuuya by his ankles, dragging him home that way. Admittedly, Dazai did almost do that, if not for the time limit they had before someone would eventually arrive at the scene.

So draped over his back it was. Chuuya's apartment wasn't far, he could make it.

Gathering the fallen coat and hat (regrettably, Dazai did indeed resign and picked it up), he disappeared behind the trees.

====================================

The journey back was eerily silent. Given the relationship between the two, it was a surprise. No bickering, no fighting, just the steady but heavy sound of footsteps coming from Dazai.

He could hear, could feel Chuuya breathing behind him, but worry still found its way into his head. Not that that was important or anything.

Dazai whined. "You're really heavy you know.."

(Talk to me, say something snarky back.)

Dazai attempted a weak insult. "Never been this high off the floor before huh? It's a whole new view from way up here."

(Open your eyes, please.)

He felt stupid talking to himself.

==================================

Chuuya's front door. He hasn't been here in a long while, and it definitely was not the first time he came uninvited. But this didn't count, did it? Chuuya had asked him to bring him home.

Key. Just focus on getting the door open.

Lowering himself to the ground, Dazai propped Chuuya's body up against the door. Now, where would Chibi put his key..

When both coat pockets came up empty, Dazai eyed Chuuya's unconscious body. Should he try searching for the keys on him?

Then, he remembered a moment they shared together, one where they had headed to Chuuya's place after a mission years ago, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia.

They had gotten thrown around quite a bit that day, and as fun as it was, Chuuya's key seemed to have been shaken right out of his pocket. Exhausted, they had fallen asleep right by the steps leading up to the door, seemingly forgetting that Chuuya could have blasted through the window if he really wanted to.

Dazai dropped the coat on Chuuya's lap, turning to the pots of plants outside the house. Seriously? He was surprised the plants were even still alive.

As obvious at that spot would have been, Dazai found the key he was looking for under a pot of cacti. He unlocked the door, hauling Chuuya's body in with him.

The living room was a familiar sight. The couch was in the same position, and so was the dining table. It was as if all those years had never passed.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the floor.

So what now? Should he leave? Chuuya hadn't asked him to do anything else, not that he would have complied anyway.

..He would probably be much more comfortable lying on the couch. Yeah, he could do that.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the couch.

So what now? Why wasn't he moving to leave? Chuuya probably didn't want to open his eyes only for Dazai to be the first thing he sees.

..That thought alone almost made him sit down and wait for Chuuya to wake up.

However, a small whine dragged Dazai out of his scheming. When he looked down, there was a pained expression on Chuuya's face. Even in the dimmed lights, Dazai could partially make out the feverish flush on the other's cheeks.

..He could wet a towel for Chuuya. Yeah, he could do that.

And so Dazai stands up, making his way to bathroom. Just being in the room brought back a few memories. All the times that he would sit, propped up against the sink as they tended to each other's wounds after a mission.

Dazai pulls open one of the cupboards below the sink in search for a towel, and that's when he freezes.

All the way to the back of the compartment, there was a small stack of bandages, the same ones that Dazai liked to use. But why? Chuuya rarely got injured, and if he did, like heck he was using those bandages. Knowing him, Chuuya would probably just walk it off.

Maybe he just didn't want to throw away the leftovers. Yeah, that was it.

He found a towel after that. Wetting and wringing it, Dazai stepped back into the living room. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Chuuya's open bedroom door.

A peek inside would never hurt, right?

Making a slight detour, Dazai popped his head into the doorway. Surprisingly (or maybe not), everything looked pretty much the same. The bed was still haphazardly made in a sort of neat, Chuuya way.

A stray hat sat in the center of his desk. Dazai couldn't contain his eye roll.

He approached the table, his eye catching onto a dull shine of metal. It was a tablet tray of pills. He flipped it over. Paracetamol. And it was half empty.

So the fever wasn't a recent thing.

===================================

He hoped the wet towel would help.

Chuuya never fell sick often, and when he did, he was rather augmentative and closed off. To Dazai, that was Chuuya just being Chuuya, so he never treated the other differently in those moments, not that they happened often enough for him to act any other way.

So this was new. It wasn't an unpleasant type of new, just a little awkward. It was never quiet when Chuuya was around, unless they were sleeping, and Dazai was wide awake.

Maybe he should busy himself with cooking something. Cook. For Chuuya.

..What where they? Married? Dazai felt his tongue stick out at the thought. But still, he got up and headed for the kitchen.

Maybe he should try poisoning Chuuya's portion. That would be fun to watch. Unfortunately, he didn't have any vials on him at the moment.

Even better, he could pretend that he did something to the food.

That thought alone gave Dazai the motivation to look through the fridge. In the main compartment, all he found was alcohol. The second eye roll of the day ghosted his face. Chuuya was a lightweight after all.

Moving to the vegetables drawer, he was pleasantly surprised to see it filled. He never took Chuuya as someone who knew how to cook. Dazai himself normally ate at the cafe downstairs with the rest of the agency.

Though.. on the off-chance that someone would cook for the whole office, those meals always felt a little more homey.

Picking a variety of vegetables, Dazai turned towards the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him.

========================================

It was at that moment that Chuuya decided to wake up. He knew he was at home, on his couch? What happened?

Fuck. His head hurt. His limbs hurt. There was something pressing his head down. Lifting a heavy arm, Chuuya reached for the item on his forehead.

A damp cloth?

That idiot Dazai probably put it there. Sleeping gas? It made sense, since he was knocked out for so long..

Or at least it felt long; with how sore his neck was feeling from lying flat on his back. Couldn't the bandaged disaster at least be considerate enough to put a pillow under his head?

..Come to think of it, Dazai did carry him home, which was a far cry from what he normally did to begin with. Whatever, he'd let it slide.

"..snff-"

"..hH'!! hAH'gGnshH-w!! G'nNEsHH!!"

So that's what he would have to deal with for a few days, huh. He had really thought it had been nothing more than a slight fever.

Maybe using Corruption had made it worse.

"..hiH'!! hH- hhH'!! h'ERrshH!"

When he sniffled into the back of his palm, Chuuya found that he could hardly get any air through. This sucked.

A shower might help.

=====================================

In the closed kitchen, Dazai barely heard Chuuya's movements as he reached for a knife. Staring at it, he pondered for a moment if he should just-

No. Chuuya would kill him if the white counter was stained with his blood. It would give the shorty a good scare, but his fun could wait.

While it wasn't his first time chopping vegetables, it certainly had been awhile. Still, the carrrots, potatoes and corn were all sliced up in minutes. He didn't brag about his dexterous fingers for nothing.

And if the knife came too close to his fingers too many times, no it didn't.

Throwing all the ingredients into the simmering pot, Dazai poured in some chicken stock. He didn't know how much was the recommended amount, so half the carton would have to do.

Besides, there was no way he'd even look at the instructions behind. He was already cooking for the chibi, he didn't want to have to read for him too.

Dazai stared at the stove.

..What now?

---

The moment Chuuya stripped off his clothes, he had to grab the edge of the sink as he was hit by a dizzy spell. Fair, he did get up from the couch rather abruptly. He hadn't eaten since the morning either.

He was shivering, despite the buckets of sweat he produced in the recent battle.

Chuuya hated falling sick, hated the weakness and vulnerability that came with it. He was supposed to be the one who people depended on. How could he protect anyone when he could barely even stand straight?

Without his strength there was little use for him.

"..hH'!! H'gKsHHew! heH'DzzchH!!"

And there was that too.. but at least this part of his forming cold proved that he was human. The inability of controlling his sneezes.

In any case, he should get into the shower quickly before his thoughts got the better of him.

Scalding hot water.

==================================

Surely the pot should not be boiling that heavily. Dazai stared at it, wondering how the surface would feel under his fingers should he touch it. The fleeting thought brought a smile to his face.

A rather rough bunch of bubbles almost caused the lid to fly off entirely. He should probably turn the fire down.

A gentle, warm aroma slowly filled the kitchen. Dazai estimated that it would be ready in a couple tens of minutes.

Perfect, he could use that time to-

The kitchen door slides open.

..To check on-

"Chuuya?"

The couch was empty. Did someone break into the house to steal him? Dazai didn't remember locking the door. Chuuya was really compact and pocket-sized too, but who would want to kidnap that feisty thing?

So of course, he deduced that Chuuya probably moved himself somewhere else.

"Chibi?"

Dazai stepped into the hallway, his gaze casting down upon the trail of water leading from the bathroom to is bedroom.

Seriously, did Chuuya not know that towels exist? Someone could slip and fall and die here! Someone like Dazai himself!

Playing with the possibility of such a humorous death, Dazai followed the trail to the room, poking his head into the doorway for the second time that day.

With the ends of his feet barely touching the edge of the bed, Chuuya laid in the center, neck tilted back on the pillow, snoring softly.

It was a familiar sight, Dazai noticed himself staring. The bed was once big enough for the two of them.

Not now, of course, Dazai muses. Even if Chuuya hadn't grown an inch, he sure did. There was no way they'd fit on the mattress together now.

..Not that he wanted to or anything. No, definitely not.

Chuuya's hair was still damp, and there was a strained expression on his sleeping face. Moving by himself, Dazai reached for the neatly folded blanket by the foot of the bed.

=====================================

1hr later:

Chuuya woke with the edge of his blanket pressed under his nose. He didn't remember pulling it up. After he took a shower, his body was too exhausted to do anything but collapse facedown into the pillows

Or.. maybe he had done that. Chuuya lived alone, there was no way someone else had done it instead.

"..hIH'NgtxchhH!! haH'gtcHH-w!" That being said, it was still way too cold even with the blanket covering him.

He rubbed the back of his fist against his nose roughly before tossing around in bed, annoyed.

Everything felt too stuffy, too hot. He was hungry too. Maybe some takeout would be good for today.

Chuuya stretched out a tired hand, groping around for his phone. Finding nothing, he sighed, faintly remembering that his coat was still outside on the floor somewhere.

"..hih'hA-Ngxt!!"

Guess he won't be getting any food today, then. Chuuya prided himself as a strong, capable man, but when it came down to times like these, he was willing to be weak.

As long as he was alone.

=======================================

Dazai looks up towards the bedroom, eyes flickering between the television screen and the hallway.

Despite himself, he was still at Chuuya's apartment, nevermind that an entire hour has passed.

Instead of wandering around, Dazai chooses to set up the gaming station below the television. He and Chuuya used to go on at it for hours against each other.

"Take this!"

"Not so fast, Chuuya. You think you can beat me that easily??"

There was a layer of dust sitting on top of console, showing obvious signs of disuse. His old controller was laid against it next to Chuuya's, the plastic worn down and peeling.

Lost in his daydream, Dazai barely manages to catch the smell of ready-soup coming from the kitchen. Now to get a couple bowls.

Transferring the soup into them should have been an easy task, if Dazai had remembered that heat existed. Well, excuse him for trying to pick up the pot with his bare hands and pouring it into the bowl, it's not like he cooked on a regular basis, or knew that there was a special spoon for such occasions known as the ladle.

Whatever the case, it took all but a few minutes to find a tray, put the bowls on it, and walk out of the kitchen.

==================================

Maybe he should have sucked it up and went to get his phone, Chuuya thinks and he stares at the ceiling. His stomach was screaming at him to fill it up with something, anything.

He stares at the stain next to the lightbulb and scowls. Years ago, the bulb and blown a fuse and needed repairing. But like hell Chuuya was going to put the stepladder on his bed, even if he was too short to reach it otherwise.

Thankfully, Dazai had shown up like a Saint at the time and fixed it for him, not without leaving his mark, of course. Like a damn animal he marked the ceiling with a dusty handprint that Chuuya could never clean off.

His fever must be off the charts if its enough to make him recall anything that had to do with his ex-partner. If Chuuya had had the strength at that moment, he would've slapped himself silly. That being said, he could probably wrap a damp cloth around the end of a long pole and bring it up to the stain to-

"ChUuYA!!"

"oH FUCK!"

Jumping out of his skin high enough that maybe he didn't need that pole after all, Chuuya sits up in his bed. His pillow, the blanket, the chair, his hat, everything glowed red and was ready to be used as a weapon.

"DAZAI, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Aw Chuuyaa~ That's the kind of greeting I get even when I'm trying to do something nice? You're lucky I'm touching this tray, or it might've went up with all the other things and split all my hard work!!"

"Never mind the fucking tray! What are you doing here?"

Dazai opens his mouth, a tone of mockery already ready at the tip of his tongue, yet nothing came out. Chuuya was right, what was he doing here? How would he explain why he was carrying soup to Chuuya in bed without the other thinking he had lost his mind?

Come to think of it, he didn't even know himself why he was doing this.

Chuuya stares at the Dazai in his room. Seriously, what was he thinking? Coming over uninvited like that, especially knowing the state he was in right now. There was no way this was a planned move to take him out at his weakest. As shitty as Dazai was, Chuuya knew at the back of his mind that the other would never harm him intentionally without the confidence that he won't die from it.

So that only left one explanation, one that Chuuya refused to even entertain - that Dazai was actually trying to take care of him. He almost laughs at the thought.

And he might've, if this was another day in which he wasn't hazed in fever. Plus the silence was getting awkward, so Chuuya forced himself to say something.

"..I'm not interested in your answer anyway. So are you coming in or not? You're being an eyesore just standing in the middle of my room."

"A tall eyesore?" Dazai chirped back, his behavior instantly returning to normal once he was in his element, (that being in a state in which he endlessly makes fun of Chuuya).

"Yeah yeah, a tall eyesore that he trying to poison me. Is this the Agency's masterplan after all? Poison?"

"Me?!" Dazai dramatically puts his hand on his forehead. "Poisoning you?? Before I use the poison on myself to end my own miserable life? Oh ChuUya, you should know me better than that!"

"Whatever. Just give it to me." Chuuya rolls his eyes, snatching a bowl over and eyeing it suspiciously. "You went through all the trouble of buying takeout?"

"Of course not! Why would I ever do so much for a slug like you?"

"So then you cooked for me." It was phrased more like a statement than a question, and for the second time that night, Dazai didn't know what to say.

"The uh- the knife. It looked tempting."

"Uh-huh. Bet it sure was difficult to keep all 10 of your fingers intact."

"You know me so well!"

"..Right." With the conversation not going any further, Chuuya picks up the spoon, stirring the liquid gently. It smelt good, and the steam coming from the bowl really helped to loosen up the congestion in his nose.

Which was good, but also bad timing, as Chuuya was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to sneeze. Hitching ever so slightly, he turns to face the wall, using his skill to control the gravity of the mucus such that it wouldn't irritate his nose even more as it threatened to drip out.

The last thing he wanted was to give Dazai something else to make fun of him for.

It was silent for a moment as Chuuya lifts the spoon to his lips.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"I swear I did not poison the soup."

"No- it's not that. The soup.. it tastes.. good."

Dazai stares at Chuuya as if he'd grown an extra head. "..Chibi's lying!"

"I'm not, you idiot. Sigh, why do I even try?"

Before Chuuya could even shake his head in exasperation, a flash of brown jumps his soup.

"What are you doi-!?"

Dazai grabs onto Chuuya's arm, somehow managing to miraculously not spill a drop as he grabs onto the spoon to try a sip.

This is bad. Bells rang in Chuuya's head as he felt his skill get nullified by Dazai's.

"M-hH!!" Move! He wanted to scream, would have, if the tickle in his nose wasn't this extreme.

Well, the suicide maniac asked for it anyway.

"Hh'! HNNgxt! ..hA'DzzchH!!" Chuuya gasps, pressing a wrist tightly against his nose. "hIH' gZZtchH!!"

"Chuuya is so rough with himself!"

"Don't talk like you're not the one who c'hh!-caused this!"

"Really," Dazai started, brushing a bit of his arm that had been in the crossfire of the spray upon his pants. "If anything Chibi's the one who caused this onto himself."

"Hah? The fuck did you say?"

"Now now-" Dazai places his index finger directly between Chuuya's furrowed eyebrows. "I'm not the one who decided to use corruption through a fever and then pass out in front of everyone."

Chuuya clenches his teeth, swatting the other's arm away. "Don't talk like you don't make shitty decisions all the time, suicide-obsessed mackerel."

"Slug."

"Why do you even care anyway?!" the porcelain bowl cracks under his grip. "You never had before so don't act like you do now."

Dazai opened his mouth to answer with a witty remark, but nothing came out. This outburst was different from the rest that Chuuya normally gave him. Insults, he could handle, but this? What was he supposed to say to that?

'Yeah I don't care about you?' 'No I do care about you?' One was a lie and one made him sound like a bottom.

Chuuya just stared at the bowl in his hand, watching as the soup drip, drip, dripped down his forearm. He knows what he said wasn't true, the fact that Dazai stayed was evidence enough.

Fucking fever, always making him say the wrong sh-

"I'm sorry."

The fuck? Chuuya snaps his head upwards, looking at Dazai from between the strands of hair that had fallen over his face. He scanned the other's expression, expecting something akin to a smirk. But there was none.

"I mean- Well! I'll leave Chibi to his tacky hats then." Dazai suddenly says, his voice lively yet strained. He reaches for the stray hat on the table, putting upon Chuuya's head and pulling the brim over his eyes.

Annoyed, Chuuya whips the damn thing off his head, prepared to shove it into Dazai's chest. But by the time he looks back at the other, all that could be seen was the tips of Dazai's coat-tails rounding out of his bedroom door.

"Hey wai-" Tears shot to Chuuya's eyes as he choked on air. With one leg on the floor and the other still nestled under the covers, he bent over coughing violently as his lungs struggled to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

His throat was burning. There was no way he could catch up to Dazai now.

-

After what seemed like forever, Chuuya's lungs finally decided to restart, allowing him to breathe in his first huge breath of air. Through blurry eyes, he barely managed to focus on the mess of beige in front of him.

"Chibi's so small he choked on air molecules?"

"Ah fuck you," Chuuya mumbled. He grabbed the glass of water Dazai held out for him, purposely avoiding eye-contact to prevent the other from noticing his shock and gratitude.

"You're welcome~ aand, you should probably put that down," referring to the bowl of soup that was barely holding itself together.

'Right." Chuuya placed it upon the tray. "Well," this was awkward. Just 2 minutes ago they were at each other's throats, and now they were.. staring at the ground in silence. "..I should, wash these. Plus you probably wrecked the kitchen, so I'll- yeah."

"Chuuya- are you sure you should-" Dazai started, then stopped.

Curse being partners for years, Chuuya knew what he meant even before he started. "It's just a cold, idiot. I'll be fine washing dishes. Stop cari- ahem. You look like shit, go shower or something."

When he got no reply, Chuuya continued. "There's bandages below the sink you can use, and- well. There's a set of clothes your size somewhere in my cupboard."

And this, snaps Dazai out of his silent trance. "So ChuuUya was planning a sleepover behind my back?"

"It was for emergencies, dammit! If you ever needed somewhere safe to stay, or something." Leaving it as that, Chuuya briskly walks out of the room, leaving Dazai to his own thoughts.

-

The bandages, Dazai later notices, were manufactured a mere 2 years ago, right when he had joined the Detective Agency, back when Chuuya had no way of knowing if he was alive or not.

But he still thought about me. Still bought them with a chance that I would use them someday.

"You even got my favourite brand, Chibi."

Staring at the "ON SALE!!" sticker on the back of the box, Dazai breaks into a soft smile.

Maybe, if Chuuya would allow him, he'd stay the night.

-end-

---------------

ugh that ending felt so rushed but honestly i feel like it fits them, since i think that initally, caretaking would be really awkward for them.

Notes: thank you so much for reading, and i hope its alright that i branch out of j/jk since, well, everyones fucking dead (/j) but moreso because i fell in love with characters from other fandoms too <3

[jackhues]

moments from the benny interview/podcast: mitts off with luke gazdic

source

i don't really watch sports interviews/podcasts but i actually really enjoyed this one! the host knows benny and is a leafs fan, so you can actually see how happy he is for the guy. i recommend watching it because benny's accent's so agjshlgslj in this. also this was supposed to be moments but i got carried away and it's become more of a summary

he and the host, luke gazdic, know each other from their san diego days. gazdic said at first when he saw benny he was thinking "this guy's not that good", but he also recognized that he had the build and passion to play hockey. he worked hard too, he just needed to find his role

benny used to fly through his physicals, and he still does. that's the reason a lot of coaches kept him around, he was so fit even if he wasn't amazing at the game. he was 7th/8th dman usually, and trainers/coaches would tell him "you might not see your first game for months" but he was happy to be there and would work his ass off to get the chance to play.

he pronounces familiar like "fam-iliar" (like it sounds like he's going to say family, but it becomes familiar)

benny's enjoying toronto, living just outside of downtown. he's been getting to know the city: exploring restaurants and cafes. he likes trinity-bellwoods and ossington (as a toronto native: those are some nice places, not as sketchy as the heart of dt)

he has two dogs, one from his san diego days, a rescue from his anaheim days, and he got a cat from his gf's friend. he jokes saying "i call it a zoo at home. my gf's the zookeeper, and i'm the bank".

he said "i don't know if i'm a cat guy, but i have a cat". he's just surprised at how different cats are

benny admitted he had an awful camp with the leafs, and he wasn't really mad that brad sent him down. he knows he "just didn't play good, and they [the team/management] don't really know me". he just told himself to work harder. he was battling an injury through camp and his first thought was to get that solved, the time in the minors helped him.

he kept a positive mindset in the minors saying "if you're going i don't belong here, it doesn't help anyone".

while in la's dev camp years ago, he though he was good, but he wasn't called back for rookie camp. in the q, the team finished last, around -35/-36.

then he got a call from anaheim, he destroyed the physical testing and was hitting a lot during that camp. joked about how "he didn't make any friends that week". but anaheim liked that kind of dman, so they gave benny a shot on a one year a-deal, but halfway through the season, he signed his nhl entry level

he considers himself naturally athletic, but he works his ass off to outwork people and make the spot. in juniors, they didn't expect him to play, but ppl got injured, he got a shot and then he was never out of the lineup after that.

he credits his coaches who pushed him to be better. he believes that made him much better, getting on the ice 15 minutes before, etc.

the way his parents raised him was huge to him, he was taught to work for what he wants. he said he was never "spoon-fed" and then asked if that was the right expression, which made gazdic laugh and agree 'yeah you're picking up on all these phrases. that's perfect'

he has a dfm cap : doesn't fucking matter. they had t-shirts and other stuff too

the first time mackinnon cut back on benny, he was like "... this guy's good", he couldn't really defend the move, it was just such a shock.

they talked about a time in sd when benny threw his stick and just went after a guy with both hands, and how he did it again during a game against seattle. benny explains "the stick part, i think my stick was broken and i didn't want to get a penalty" (he pronounces it pen-aal-ty asfjdsfns).

he talks about hitting too saying "it's a simple thing to do, but it's hard to bring it every night and be good at it." he says you have to be careful with your timing, on not getting penalties, on the toll it takes on your body, etc. he says he "always enjoyed hitting, not to hurt guys" but to let them know he's there kinda thing.

he said "if you miss your hip check you just miss the guy" which can lead to breakaways, etc. you can't really miss those. he's been doing those hip checks since bantam, and if you miss it you just look stupid.

"if i do something stupid, i'll answer the bell" in response to his hits. if it's a clean hit, it's clean, but if it's not, he'll answer. he'll stand his ground on either side

gaudreau (cbj) tried a superman punch on benny, and benny tried one right back.

he has some "big names under his belt" - he fought wilson twice, which surprised gazdic

"probably not my smartest decision in life" <- talking about fighting wilson

he once saw an injury during his sd days, where someone's wrist tendon and part of their artery was cut - like he was near the bench door seeing it happen clearly. after that, the team got wrist and achilles protection, which he still wears. he didn't wear the neck guard then bcz it didn't 'look good' and it wasn't common then either. but after what happen to adam johnson, he decided "fuck it. i'm gonna protect myself."

benny goes no tarp, but he has socks on. gazdic didn't wear socks which benny finds crazy. but benny only wears socks, boxers and a jock, which is also crazy. he says it gets a bit hot, esp with the neckguard, so he mainly only wears the padding

his shoulders get scratched up bcz of no tarp

he used to use sakic curve sticks, but they stopped those. p28 is one of the curves he uses. he also has 95 flex, started at 105, but went down. says it's good for crosschecks

luke gazdic is such a big fan of benny, he talks about how he watched leafs games and was just cheering him on the entire time. he's a really genuine person and i love that.

benny talking about 'the big guys' -> "it's impressive to see how they're working so hard, constantly. working on their edges and their skills, it brings out the best in the rest of us"

specifically brought up willy and auston^

"you have to be smart [when defending auston]. if you just dive at him, he's gonna toe drag you, make you look stupid."

when asked which player surprised him in a good way, he said calle jarnkrok immediately. "i love him.... he's so effective... always smart with the puck... in every situation he just does the job"

luke gazdic brings up the older guys like darcy tucker, wendel clark, tie domi and compares benny to them, saying : if you play hard in this city and you work your ass off, they [leafs nation] will love you. they will embrace you for all time... if you just continue the way you're playing now, they'll love you" (which, as a leafs fan, is very true. once you're in, once you're embraced by leafs nation, you will forever be loved. you could have zero points, but if the fans decided to adopt you, you will be loved a hundred years from now - there are ppl i grew up hearing about, old games i watched, and those guys were gone and retired before i was even born. some of them were gone before my dad was born. but once you're loved by the fans, there's no leaving)

gazdic goes "[every time there's leafs coverage] i love it, i have a big smile on my face. [the reporters/articles going] i love this benoit kid... it makes me so happy"

benny stays away from social media to try to focus on his game, but he has noticed some of the loves the fans give him. "if the fans love me... it touches my heart. you know, it's not every day the fans love a simple, stay at home d-man. you know, the fans usually love those skills guys. but if they do love my game, i'm touched by it. i'll just keep to do it, i'll stick to it." (i wish i could show benny the lb's comments)

he was recognized twice in public. he didn't get that in anaheim and can tell just how different hockey culture is here.

he loves milk.

seriously, he drinks a big glass of milk before bed or else he can't sleep (gazdic thought he was trolling, but he wasn't)

gazdic joked saying 'milk' the leafs jersey sponsors, should get benny in an ad

he has a glass bottle of (3.8%) milk in the fridge - no bagged milk, no carton milk

"that's the real stuff" - benny referring to 3.8% milk

he loves the milk sponsorship on the jersey

had to break bcz of character limit

benny tries to have a smile on his face. his parents never pressured him to play hockey, so he's always played because he loved it. now it's his job and he thinks "if i don't love it, i can do something else" but he takes a lot of pride in playing that game and he loves it. so he's got a smile on for everyone - for the fans who come and cheer for him, for everyone who's watching. "my smile's a reflection of the joy the game brings to everyone"

his mindset when he'd been cut on other teams was "i need to learn from the situation and grow". "you need to miss some stuff, you need to make mistakes to learn"

"if you think too far you won't be present in the present" <- talking about playoffs

"go crush it man, keep doing what you're doing" <- luke gazdic to benny

[goldennika]

hey! i saw that you were interested in fashion and styling and kibbe and i was wondering if you have thoughts on soobin and yeonjun switching outfits for the act sweet mirage finale soundcheck? i thought it was super interesting how the same outfits ended up having a completely different vibe when worn on different people! (this is all in good fun ofc, no shade to either member and they were such good sports for doing the switch)

Hi! omg thanks so much for this question!! I thought it was really cute and silly of them to switch entire outfits when they said they’d be styling each other for soundcheck. it’s so TXT 😂

As for the difference in vibes despite them wearing the exact same outfit, if we’re going by particular styling systems then Seasonal Color analysis and Kibbe typing come into play!

I just wanna preface this by saying that I while I do have an interest in Kibbe typing and styling as a whole but I’m not entirely sure what their Kibbe types are. I had some initial thoughts about sookai’s Kibbe types a few months back but haven’t really done a full-on analysis for any of them (though I’d really like to!! 🙈)

While I’m leaning towards Soft Dramatic (vertical + curve) for Soobin, I can’t pin down Yeonjun’s Kibbe type. But he might be a very slim Flamboyant Natural (vertical + width) in my eyes. Will try to expound on this a little bit later!

With all that aside, let’s try to break down their looks below the cut! Be forewarned that it's going to be lengthy bc of all the photos and side discussions 😅

Top-bottom: Day 1 soundcheck (source) | Day 2 soundcheck (source)

I'm already seeing how differently the pieces fall on each of them. Yeonjun's original outfit appears to fall more smoothly on his body, whereas on Soobin, the fabric appears to bunch up and gather around his midsection more. This could potentially be due to Soobin being taller/having a longer torso so the blue-gray button down ends higher on his body than it does on Yeonjun.

While they both have slim waists, I think Yeonjun being short waisted/having longer legs and Soobin having a fuller 🍑, also contributes to how differently the fabric falls on them, despite both being tall and slim.

First pic (source) | Second pic (source)

With Soobin being the taller of the two, you would think that he could wear all the fabric with no problem, but seeing these photos side by side, he seems to be a little overwhelmed by Yeonjun's outfit.

This, I believe is where their Kibbe types come into play. As mentioned earlier, I suspect Yeonjun could be an FN, and Soobin is a potential SD.

Flamboyant Naturals or FNs are considered to be frame-dominant. This allows them to wear flowing, unstructured pieces without being swallowed by all the fabric, as their body structure is able to provide... well, the structure that would showcase the pieces clearly. This is partially why FN models ruled the catwalks during the 90s -- their body structure allowed for you to focus on the clothing, rather than the body, leading to the "human hanger" moniker that supermodels were given around that time.

Going back to Yeonjun, their recent content (particularly the abundance of sleeveless Yeonjun appearances we've had this year) made me realize just how broad he is, despite being so slim. Just look at how the fleece jacket fits on him (suspected Flamboyant Natural) versus Beomgyu (suspected Soft Classic)!

Or compare how Yeonjun's top falls on his body, particularly the shoulders, versus that of Soobin in a Tinnitus stage.

(Side note: the GBGB/Tinnitus/DBTW stage also really highlights their different frames, given the rather simple cuts and fabrics for their costumes. It's a helpful reference for kibbe typing imo, along with their encore outfits as they usually wear the same pieces)

First pic (source) | Second pic (source)

Going back to the outfit swap, I think the elements of Yeonjun's original outfit work well on him as he has the vertical and the width to pull off the long layers and the looser fitting fabrics. Denim is also a popular material for Naturals as it has some structure but is not overly stiff. The distressed details also add to that rawness that Naturals can pull off well.

That same outfit on Soobin, on the other hand, doesn't look quite as harmonious, as Soft Dramatics tend to shine more in pieces that accommodate their vertical and curve. The flannel shirt being under the long top just made him look wider on the bottom versus if it were acting like an external belt that could have defined his waist. Coupled with the baggy distressed jeans, it just made him look rather unbalanced and visually weighs him down.

Accessories also play a role in the different vibes we get from the outfit swap. Yeonjun's piercings help to tie in the grunge styling. If Soobin wore Yeonjun's outfit with a few more accessories (maybe adding pins to the beanie or some jewelry, idk), it could look more like a complete outfit for him bc from the waist up, he looks a little plain, IMO, and that does nothing for a Soft Dramatic like him!!

(source)

Soobin's original outfit suits him better as a Soft Dramatic as it honors his vertical (monochrome palette, long pieces) and curve (large collar and the leather coupled with a textured trim adds visual interest or "drama" that he can pull off).

231202 Soundcheck (source)

Consider how different Soobin and Taehyun's vibes are despite having similar outfits on. Soobin's jacket looks visually "fuller" (fabric has a heavier visual weight compared to Taehyun's) but it does not overwhelm him as he has the build for it. It also ends by his waist (compared to midhip for Taehyun) which helps to draw the eye in to his curves -- again honoring his Soft Dramatic lines.

Black is also well within Soobin's color palette as a Winter type so the look is very cohesive overall! (Lighter grays/blues, like Yeonjun's shirt, aren't as flattering on Soobin as these could make him appear a little washed out or dull)

Soobin's outfit on Yeonjun still works as he has the vertical and the frame to pull it off. IMO however, the jacket looks a tad oversized on Yeonjun which contributes to the more "relaxed" vibe on him versus on Soobin (where it is a closer fit to the body) and makes him look more.. dominating(?) in a sense.

(source)

When Yeonjun took off the jacket, people somehow went crazier 😂 And I get why! The shirt showcases his build, rather than being covered up by a visually bulky jacket.

By removing the jacket too, it allowed for more focus on his face. I think Yeonjun might be a Summer type so black would take away from his features. Lighter colors are more flattering for him (another factor in why his original outfit doesn't seem to be so overwhelming on him) but he and the rest of TXT are all ridiculously good looking, it's hard to make them look unattractive 😂 I'm still a bigger fan of their orig outfits though 🙈

TL;DR: Yeonbin's original soundcheck outfits honor their Kibbe types and personal colors more than when they switched but since they're both tall, broad (but in different ways!), and just stupidly handsome, the outfit switches still kinda work bc they have elements that work to their Kibbe types.

If you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!! Let me know your thoughts on their outfits, if you'd want to see more pieces like this from me, or just anything you'd like to share about TXT fashion and/or styling! 🫶

[clatterbane]

My first real appointment through orthopedics to finally try and get set up with an aftermarket leg is coming up on Monday.

The previous referral last year just didn't work out, for multiple reasons, and I was a bit bummed over that. I think part of the problem was it falling through the cracks because nobody really seems to be sure what to do with somebody showing up from completely outside their system already minus a leg.

But, we thought to ask that new endo for a fresh referral. So, I did get an intake appointment set up through ortho, with no schedule collisions this time.

In one way, I'm excited to hopefully get moving toward with the process of getting set up with a prosthetic. I would really like to be able to get around better again! And, you know, be able to take my sorry ass off paved surfaces and up steps and stuff again!

OTOH, due to the person I am? I am trying not to borrow too much trouble and drive myself crazy worrying in the meantime. Especially the closer that draws.

Frankly, not least that somebody is gonna just say, "Oops, it's been so long and this entire situation does not fit into any familiar procedures. We just can't/won't help you!”

Yeah, I know there is going to be an awful lot of PT ahead, likely before I even get to the point of any fitting. I have some other concerns about that, after some sufficiently unpleasant experiences as a troublesome-bendy individual, with rehab-focused PT after injuries/knee surgeries (directly coming from the probably-EDS) in the past. My knees are also pretty damned terrible, and also kinda further destabilized by said surgical tinkering.

But, I am much older and more confident now--and not nearly as eager to take any "no pain, no gain!" bullshit seriously. Much less push in ill-advised ways until I do my bendy self an injury.

But yeah, even right now? I would place good money if I had it on the likelihood that I am currently in better shape than 75% of the new patients they see much sooner than this after surgery. Who are statistically much older and otherwise in pretty damned bad health. Probably I've been staying more physically active over the past few years than a lot of that demographic have been able to, even under the current circumstances

Mean age at the time of the first registered amputation in our sample was 74 years (SD 14); women were older (78, SD 14, CI 77–79) than men (72, SD 14, CI 72–73). 43% of the patients were 80 years or older by the time of the primary amputation (Figure 3). The mortality rate of the registered patients was 19% within 6 months and 24% within the 1st year after the last registered amputation. The 1-year mortality rate after TFA was 40%, after KD 38%, and after TTA 24%.

("Lucky" transtibial/TTA here. Those figures are from the Swedish national database, BTW. Because there is one. You see dire mortality rates after this sort of surgery come up? That's a lot of why. Those demographics and the occasional nasty accident requiring amputation seriously skew things.)

There were reasons they kept going on about how young and healthy my middle-aged ass that had just barely cheated death was when I was stuck in the hospital in Romford. And therefore considered a candidate for prosthetics at all under that system. Not going off on that rant right now.

Still, the majority of those elderly patients in otherwise not great shape DO get successfully set up on replacement legs here. Which is encouraging, that they are likely not looking hard for excuses to avoid spending the money. (We're talking the equivalent of a new not-cheap car, back in the US. Region Skåne is still set to lay out a fair chunk of change here. We are thankfully not directly.)

I do rationally doubt that I would get turned away just because I have been off that leg for several years now, and my knees were terrible even before that. And I fucking suck at trying to use forearm crutches, which I am not at all used to and have a very different feel than the type I do have too much experience on.

But yeah, my brain just won't leave things alone as usual. That's just one of the crappiest possibilities it's seized onto right now.