#I'm clinging to this episode so I can stop crying

[otakusapien]

The way Corvus's face softens when Soren switches from miming "dragon" to miming "mom," my heeeeeaaaart

[gfdazai]

Kissing his tears away. ♡

no cws rlly, Atsushi is having a flashback and is in a state of confusion for the first half of it. established relationship. It implies his episodes to be a repeated thing towards the end. Hurt/comfort? Wc 500ish, not edited/proofchecked. GN reader! {No pronouns or terms (other than precious) being used towards reader.}

Atsushi, who's crying after having an episode of flashbacks. He's stuck in his dorm, curled up in a closet as he mutters and pleads for whoever to stop.

You, precious, you. You stepping into his dorm, the door falling shut alarming him of your presence — taking your shoes off by the door, wanting to be polite, after all.

Atsushi doesn't want to come out of the closet, scared of what's waiting outside of it for him. He's shaking — his breathing quiet, but panicked.

He's wants to plead for forgiveness, scared of whatever punishment he's getting from the head of the orphanage, but is frozen when he hears footsteps approaching.

He puts his hands over his mouth, squeezing his eyes shut, silently praying for forgiveness, when he hears a short, soft voice.

"Atsushi?"

He pauses, not sure of what to do. What if this was all a trick? He's probably imagining you, and the director will find him any moment...

He doesn't fight when you gently tug him up, or out of the closet, just apologizing and standing there, unsure of what to do. ...Should he say he's fine, when he's clearly not?... He's never been caught in this bad of an episode. He's supposed to be bright and sunny Atsushi Nakajima.

"Atsushi..." You say softly, "Can I touch you?" His eyes slowly and hesitantly open, eyes fluttering to your face — the image being slightly distorted by his tearful eyes.

His hands slowly unclench his hair, the stinging finally settling into his scalp — he hopes he didn't cause himself to bleed. Again. He nods a little, swallowing — not trusting his voice.

You smile, and God. You look so trustworthy, so... So different from the director. Of course you're not the director — how could he ever think so?... The director is gone, Atsushi is out of the orphanage. He's not there anymore... He shouldn't be having these thoughts — these memories.

You gently tug him onto the couch, your hand lovingly combing out the tangles in his messy hair. He lets you. He stiffens a little at first, but when you intertwine your fingers with his? His breathing grows a little softer.

"Would you be comfortable sharing what triggered you?" You ask, voice not pressuring him at all, but he still feels guilty for not answering automatically. He swallows, his gaze falling to the floor as he shakes his head.

"It's okay, Atsushi." You murmur, and he feels your soft, slightly warm lips pressing against the coolness of his tears. When did he start crying?... He sniffles pathetically at that.

"I'm sorry..." He mutters, hiding his face in his hands. "I'm sorry." He repeats. He doesn't know how to react, but he doesn't stop you again.

"It's okay. I'm not mad." You mumble softly, and he folds, turning and clinging to you. He hides his face in your neck and just... Cries. He cries like a broken boy — like a broken child.

You kiss his tears, kissing away the salty, memories of the past. You kiss away his scars, his scares — his past.

Please don't steal my work, nor feed it to any sort of AI. Thank you! ♡

[heartofbusan]

😭

What you’ve just written, that’s beautiful

Do you think Jimin seems slightly subdued in the scene where they mention Tokyo, and why they came back? JK’s touch more reassuring?

Seoul bros just said about their being emotionally charged moments in the next episodes and I can’t stop thinking about it.

@seoul-bros has a great read on them, can't wait to see how they interpret the final moments of their whirlwind trip.

What I see, and maybe this is what you meant with 'subdued', are the beginnings of the anxiety taking hold. The end was near by that point, assuming the promo was shot during the last day, and maybe it had started to dawn on Jimin that a door was about to close.

Now, to be fair, this is my very emotionally loaded interpretation of a short clip, yes, but this call and repeat of introspection in Jimin and of reassurance by JK was the same thing we saw during the KookJoonVMin live (why can I never get that quad name right lol) right after their second Japan trip had already ended. JK was so very touchy and a stable encouraging presence for Jimin who seemed to be very, yes, subdued. Like a man about to put his neck unto a lunette. Jimin was kinda all over the place emotionally 😔... I've observed Jimin being the kind of person who tends to smile or even laugh when he's sad or crying. It could be a way to deflect those uncomfortable feelings, laughing at this own misery. We saw it a lot during those final moments, this live, but also on enlistment day. I only saw his last live through a curtain of tears, on silent while at the office, and I've never taken the time to watch it properly. It's too painful and he was SO RAW in that live, I can not bare to see him like that.

So yeah.. I believe his feelings at that time were extremely nuanced. From fear to anticipation to anxiety to a sense of loss of the self, a loss of a tangible thing linked to an identity: his hair; a defining feature, his loss of freedom..all these things combined and that at the end of such a joyful time for them. Oh, what a rollercoaster it was. And who knows, anon, maybe it was a soup that started simmering right there on that final day of their second Japan trip.

I'm still not ready to watch Jimin’s last live. Have you? Is it really bad? I kinda don't want to see the end of Saporro being only bitter, I hope he was able to cling on to those final moments of peace and I think JK helped him with that beyond the sweet reassuring touches.

Thanks for reading 💜

[irishmammonagenda]

Hii!! 🧚‍♀️It's Wee Emo anon 🍾

Really liked your last work, so here i am again

Can i request brothers reaction on MC who cry over small things?

Like they see little kitten on the street and - WHOOP! - they're bubbling sobbing mess

I'm kinda can't cry (sounds dramatic lol) and wanna MC to feel it instead of me 😬

Love your works, keep going bestie💐🏃‍♂️

HI WEE EMO <3 please ignore the fact you sent me this on april 27th and its now june i had gcses to prepare for 😔✊

anyway, who let you into my house 😧🤨

no seriously i've cried at multiple south park episodes. south park. sometimes i wanna cry when i see my dog i cannot be trusted i tear up so easily especially when im writing🙁

for not being able to cry that is not very good for you fr:

i used to not be able to cry + still only really tear up, some tears drip down and let out like 2 sobbing sounds before im good again, i dont even have to try and stop crying, two sobs and im done, but my biggest tip is, get tired like really sleepy to the point where your eyes water bc of tiredness then watch something really sad.

i ha to literally train myself to be able to cry again bro dw, i wish i could have a big long cry but like 3 mins of crying is better than none, trust me wee emo you'll feel better

#dontbottleupyouremotions

ANYWAY:

this was very hard to imagine their reactions to idk why, but i tried so 😔✊

grma wee emo for requesting <3 and grma everyone else for reading <3

Obey Me Brothers With a Sensitive MC <3

It was safe to say you were sensitive, back when Melanie Martinez's music was a lot better, you really could say that the song 'Crybaby' pretty much encapsulated your entire being, it still did, but you liked to think you were more mature in your music taste now. (You weren't)

Being suddenly catapulted into the Devildom did a number on your emotions, and you found yourself quite numb. But as you adjusted, and bonded with the others, you found that you were back to your usual self, which was a crybaby.

So then how do the brothers react?

LUCIFER

Great. Two Mammons.

At least Mammon No.2 (you) isnt a tsundere about it.

Lucifer does not like seeing you cry. Even if its because something is cute, (although he does find it quite adorable, not that he'd admit it)

This demon is of the opinion that tears should never disgrace your beautiful eyes.

He will invite you to listen to his records with him and purposely put on sad ones or really sweet ones so you grip onto him while you tear up,

He is a demon, after all. ;)

MAMMON

Finally. Someone who cries more than him!

It actually makes him feel safer around you, like you wont bully him for being more sensitive than his brothers.

Actually ends up dropping a lot of his tsundere act around you.

You watch movies together, but always have to check the Devildom version of 'doesthedogdie.com'

Idk, I feel like Mammon would give you a bit of bother for it at first but then slowly start to like, open up more, because he really does see himself in you like that.

LEVIATHAN

He blanks.

One day you start crying because of how cute the anime you both were watching was, Levi thought you were geniunely upset, so he tried to cheer you up.

You end up thinking that its really sweet and start crying harder.

Leviathan PANICKS.

Even now, he still gets really nervous when you start crying, and has popped into his demon form more times than he can count when you grab onto him and sniffle.

Please he's already so awkward he can't handle how cute you are.

You might make him start crying as well :(

SATAN

Satan 100% gets so angry he starts crying so he can kind of understand it.

He's just glad you cry over positive things :)

His favourite moment was definetly when you teared up over a small kitten. (He took several photos and also took the kitten home)

Like Lucifer he 100% invites you to read with him and picks the fluffiest most adorable romance he can find, or the saddest most heartbreaking romance he can find.

He likes when you cling onto him and look up at him with those big teary eyes.

He's a demon. What did you expect, ;)

ASMODEUS

He thinks you're adorable.

Any emotion on your face is adorable to him actually. <3

If you wear makeup he makes sure to get you waterproof mascara and other eye makeup so your beautiful tears dont ruin your beautiful makeup <3

If any of you remember that crying girl makeup trend? Yeah he deffo starts that up in the Devildom (a) to make you feel less embarrassed about it and (b) because he thinks youre so beautiful when you express yourself.

BEELZEBUB

He doesn't cry a lot, it's not exactly something that comes naturally to him at all.

Its not that he CANT cry or that he holds his tears back, its just that he doesn't normally process or reaction to things with tears.

Only in serious serious situations will he cry.

So when he sees you crying over one of those little onigiri things that are literally adorable, he thinks that you've somehow hurt yourself. (i nabbed this off of pinterest)

Beel panics, and mentally goes over the ingredients in his head, did he order something with an ingredient that was dangerous to humans?

He calms down when he realises that you're crying because it looks cute.

He feels you with that.

Makes an effort to take you to more places with food items displayed in cute ways.

Though you do have to look away while Beel cuts them up for you, otherwise you wouldnt be able to eat it.

BELPHEGOR

He laughs at you.

Point blank.

Originally when he's in the attic he uses your sensitivity as a way to manipulate you.

But post lesson 16, he really starts to appreciate it more.

This bastard will use his powers as the youngest sibling against you, he'll dress up in cute onesies and give you puppy eyes, all to coax you into taking naps with him.

Which you do.

I have no idea how half of these fuckheads would react tbh

[archangeldyke-all]

what about sevika with reader who has depressive spells where they lack with their hygiene? and reader tries to avoid her because they feel gross and don't want her to see them like that? definitely *not* something i do... just an idea..

anon, there's absolutely no shame in this, i'm the exact same way. the first thing that goes when i'm in a depressive episode is my hygiene. it's normal and common and nothing to be ashamed of. love u babe :) take it easy on yourself.

men and minors dni

you've been in bed for a week. sometimes you get up to pee or grab some chips from the kitchen, but besides that you're in bed, sleeping or crying.

sevika's been asking about you. you don't want her to worry, so you've just been telling her you're sick. you tell her it's a stomach bug, that she shouldn't come over because you don't want to get her sick too.

the truth is, you don't want her to come over because you're depressed as shit, too tired to do anything but lay in bed and stare at the ceiling.

the thought of a shower makes you queasy.

brushing your teeth feels like running a marathon.

you know you look like shit. you smell even fucking worse. you just can't help yourself.

there's a knock at your door. you shoot up in bed, your heart pounding in your chest.

you're not expecting anyone. you haven't ordered any packages.

you think maybe it's just solicitors, and you cautiously lay back down in bed.

but the knocking happens again.

followed by sevika's voice.

"baby? you awake?"

tears well up in your eyes.

fuck.

you didn't realize how much you missed her until you heard her voice. now that she's here, standing outside your apartment, it feels like you're falling apart.

sevika must hear your shaky cries, because you can hear the lock of your front door twisting open. you curse yourself for giving sevika a spare key two weeks ago.

you bury yourself under the covers.

"baby?" sevika's voice calls as she closes the door behind her and shoves her boots off. her feet gently pad through your home until she's standing beside your bed. you try to muffle your sobs into the pillow. "baby, what's wrong?" she asks. god, she sounds so worried.

she gently pulls the blankets back, letting out a heartbroken little sound as she looks down at you. you try to hide your face from her view but she stops your hands with a gentle grip around your wrist, gently straddling your body.

"baby, talk to me." she begs as she wipes your tears from your eyes.

with sevika on top of you, you break.

you shoot up to bury your head into her chest, and her arms quickly wrap around your back, holding you against her.

"i'm sorry." you whisper.

"what!? for what?" she asks.

"i'm fucking disgusting. i'm depressed, i can't get out of bed, i can't even take a fucking shower, sev. i don't-- you should leave, i don't want you to see me like this." you say.

sevika holds you until you're out of tears. then, she gently guides you back down onto the bed, plastering her body on top of yours as she peppers kisses all over your face and head.

"you aren't disgusting." she whispers. you scoff, and she grips your jaw, forcing you to look up at her. "you aren't." she says firmly. you blink up at her as tears well in your eyes.

"i smell like shit." you say wobbily. sevika chuckles.

"yeah. and you look like a little greaseball." she says. you know she's teasing, but it just makes the tears fall. sevika coos at you and kisses your tears up, quickly amending her statement. "that doesn't make you disgusting, baby. nothing could ever make me think that about you." she says.

you sob, your arms shooting up to cling to sevika. "i'm s-s-sorry." you cry. she holds you through it, kissing your tears.

"you've got nothin' to apologize for." she whispers. "i'm sorry i didn't come check on you sooner." she says.

"i told you not to come."

"i know, but it's my job make sure you're okay." she whispers.

"i should be able to take a goddamn shower by myself, sev, i'm a grown fucking--"

"you've got a disease, baby." she says, gently pressing a finger to your lips as she cuts you off. sevika's always been aware of your mental health issues, but she's never seen you struggle like this before. "you can't control it." she reminds you.

"it's so stupid." you protest.

"do you think it's stupid when i get my phantom pains?" she asks. you blink up at her.

"no! sevika, of course n--"

"what makes this any different?" she asks.

this catches you off guard. you've never considered it this way.

sevika smirks down at what must be a shocked expression on your face. "gotcha." she says.

you chuckle. it's the first time you've genuinely laughed in days.

sevika smiles at you like you've just handed her a check for a million dollars.

she swoops down to press a kiss to your lips. you squeak and try to push her away-- you haven't brushed your teeth in a week!-- but she just bats your hands away and kisses you soundly.

she settles into bed beside you, pulling you to her chest, peppering kisses on your head as she rubs a hand up and down your back. "go to sleep." she whispers. "i'll be here when you wake up." she promises.

she keeps her promise. when you wake up, sevika's still holding you.

she helps you out of bed and into the shower. she strips you down, then herself, directing you under the stream and scrubbing away at your skin while you simply stand there. she keeps one hand on your hip at all times, drawing small circles into your skin.

she washes your hair with abundant care, untangling the knots with gentle fingers, then a brush, kissing you each time she pulls on your scalp to apologize.

when she's done, she dries you off and guides you to sit on the toilet. "wait here." she says. you nod, and she presses a kiss to your hair before she leaves for your bedroom.

when she returns, she helps you dress, gently massaging lotion into your skin, kissing each of your limbs after she's done. she helps you to the sink, preparing your toothbrush for you and handing it to you.

"want me to?" she asks, genuinely. like she wouldn't mind brushing your teeth for you. like she wouldn't even bat an eye. it makes you tear up, and you swoop in to kiss her.

"i can do it." you say once you pull away. she smiles at you and holds you as you brush your teeth, pressing a kiss to your head when you spit into the sink, handing you a glass of water when you stand again.

you almost fall to your knees when she leads you back to the bedroom and see that she's changed your sheets for you, and has placed a tray with a bowl of soup and crackers and tea on top of it.

"sevika..." you wobbily say. she blinks down at you.

"i know soup's not exciting, but i thought you were sick so i wanted to bring you the classic--"

"sevika, i'm in love with you." you say suddenly. sevika freezes. you gulp. "sorry, i know it's soon, forget i sai--"

"i'm in love with you, too." sevika whispers.

you swallow against the lump in your throat, a shaky smile forming on your lips. sevika smiles just as shakily back at you, before she kisses you slowly and sweetly.

she pulls away with a dreamy sigh. you grin up at her.

"i would totally jump your bones right now, but my libido isn't exactly--"

"that's okay." she cuts you off. "when you're feeling better." she says as she gently guides you to bed.

she spends the rest of the night spoon feeding you soup and pressing kisses to your head.

in the morning, she makes you breakfast in bed, then takes you on a stroll around the block. the fresh air feels nice.

you aren't better. you probably won't be for a few more days. but with sevika by your side, helping you through your episode, all the impossible little things you've been hiding from start to seem... easier.

everything seems easier with sevika.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa

[bunnakit]

last twilight e8 thoughts, feelings, and tears

ok i cried for like 10 minutes after the episode ended so forgive me if this isn't up to par of what i usually do. apparently i'm fragile today.

there was a lot i liked and didn't like about this scene. in the past we've seen Day cling to the idea that someday he'll see again, that this is all temporary. instead of reiterating that, instead of talking about the cornea transplant, he instead asks "what can i do?" it's such an insanely massive sign of his growth. i'm so fucking proud of him. it made me so fucking emotional because while he's still upset, he's still hurt, he's still angry, he realizes his reality and he's making steps to move forward with that.

what i didn't like about this scene was once again Day's mother acts like Day's life is ending. she's been the number one person to coddle Day and to reassure him of this surgery that may never happen. i know she means well but fuck. this has to stop.

i also fucking hated the doctor for this. Day isn't fucking dying, there's still so much he can do even once his sight is completely gone. sure, he'll have some limitations, i get that. i can't swim in the ocean or rivers anymore. that fucking sucked to learn right before going on my honeymoon to the beach. but you know what i could still do? walk across the beach to the little hidden tide pools, sit on the jagged rocks, and watch the crabs and fish and anemones and everything thrive in this tiny little ecosystem. it was still amazing and something i may not have done if not for my disease keeping me from going in the water.

we're limited by our disabilities but we aren't fucking dead - life goes on around us and we can either participate in it or wallow in our fate. i'll talk about this more later.

you can skip this next paragraph if you don't want to see me babble on another personal anecdote.

i will say i saw a lot of myself in this moment. something similar happened to me a few weeks ago. i learned my disability is no longer responding to the treatments and i'll have to have multiple surgeries next year to close some year old wounds and will probably need some skin grafts. my disease is no longer managed but once again getting worse. when the doctor told me i just nodded and discussed the game plan. meanwhile, my mom was heartbroken and kept asking if there was anything that could be done. (nothing that i'm not already doing.)

sometimes we just have to nod along and accept what's happening. we can cry about it and get pissed later if we have to.

ohhh there's so much i want to talk about here. Day's mom infuriates me, probably because she's the opposite of everything my mother ever was when faced with my disabilities. her constant refusal to address Day's blindness is so painful, as if it's somehow a reflection of him as a person or a stain. it's just a fact of life and her denial is doing so much more to hurt Day than to help him. as much as i hate it, though, it is realistic. it can be so hard for those close to us to acknowledge what's going on, especially when they can't experience it for themselves or they aren't around day to day.

which brings me to the part that frustrates me the most. i'm going to get REALLY personal here.

TW FOR SUICIDE AND MENTAL HEALTH ->

i'll put another message when this little anecdote is over so ya'll can skip to that.

i've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder since i was 15. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself. my mom didn't know until last year, but at the time she knew my depression was getting to a concerning level of bad. you know what she did? she quit her job. she made any sacrifice she could to stay home with me and make sure i was safe and felt heard and taken care of. granted, she wasn't a single mother at the time but we also weren't rolling in the money. my dad was a construction worker in the early 2000s when construction work was struggling HARD.

but that's what you do for your kids, that's what you do to take care of them and make them feel heard and loved and cared for unconditionally. my depression and desire to die wasn't a stain on who i was, it was my mind holding me hostage with no way out because they couldn't give me medication until i turned 18.

OKAY IT'S SAFE NOW ->

anyway, where i was going with that is that Day's mom, as a famous chef, clearly makes enough money to take time off work, to be there for her son, to stay home and make him feel loved and cared for. there's likely a lot going on on her end of being a single mother, of feeling like she needs to prove herself and show the world she can do this alone - but her son doesn't have to do it alone just because she wants to. he needs a support system and right now all he has is Mhok.

Day's anger is so real and so justified. he must feel abandoned by his mother, by the one person that should be there to comfort him and keep him safe. her love has become conditional on the state of his eyesight.

and then she tells him he can't go? he's not a fucking child. he's a full grown man and he was just told to do things while he still can see at least a little. i told my mom the exact part of the plot and her response was "well fuck her, he's gotta go." you're god damn right he does, mom.

everything Night does feels like repentance. i need know what the story is, i need to know what caused this massive fissure between them. i don't want to comment or speculate too much but at this point i can no longer condemn Night. he's trying, he's clearly trying so fucking hard, and he clearly has so much love for his brother.

and him giving Mhok money and letting him and Day escape because he knows Day will be happier? i really hope that is a step in the right direction of mending whatever was broken between them. there are only four episodes left and i hope bare minimum half of them deal with what is going on here.

The sea remains the sea. The sand remains the sand. The sky remains the sky. Though I can't see, everything remains the way it is.

and here we are. being diagnosed with a disability is a massive change in our lives, a huge hurdle we have to climb, but at the end of the day the world still turns, life still goes on, and we can either go with it or remain stagnant. this is the culmination of everything Mhok has shown Day. Mhok has constantly brought Day out to participate in life, to learn how to navigate the world that remains unchanged. while Day's world has changed it remains the same in so many ways. this is such a beautiful moment of acceptance and peace, of healing and moving past the hurt. once again, i am so proud of Day.

he's going to be okay.

i've seen others mention it but fuck this once again drove home how soft and caring Mhok is, something that's been so constant in this episode from his willingness to help Day, to the keychains, to the escape, and now this. this little act of asking for permission, of giving Day permission, of almost asking Day 'will you kiss me?' and then Day does. Day gives Mhok the first kiss initiated by him. until now it's always been Mhok but this time Day reaches out to Mhok in this gritty, sand filled kiss. (disgusting but still lovely)

and this really drove home how safe Day feels with Mhok. they're somewhere completely new and unpredictable but he suggests they drink and participate in the party - and i love that he doesn't ask for permission but rather says 'why not?' because Mhok has never made him feel like he needs to ask for things, not things he's fully capable of deciding for himself.

and they do! they act like the young adults they are and have an amazing night of just fun and laughter and love and i fucking love that for them. how many times have we seen Day get to act his age and be carefree? it's remarkably telling how free Day feels the further he gets from home, how free his love is when he isn't worried about his family. when he's away from home Day really becomes the sun.

(also i think i might make shirts like this with my husband as a fun activity because that's really cute.)

i'm fine, i'm fine, i'm fine. (i'm lying.) the amount of love they have from here on is almost palpable. the fact that Mhok takes the time to tell Day he looks good, that he's admiring him. fuck. it makes me think of just a bit before, where we see Day linger with his fingers against the mirror. Day hasn't seen his own reflection in over a year, he has no idea what he looks like anymore. he won't get to see the way age changes him, won't get to see the wrinkles and laugh lines form on his face.

but Mhok will be there to tell him, to say how handsome he is, and without fully seeing Mhok Day will know he is equally as handsome because he knows Mhok's voice, his character, and sure he knows what everyone has said about Mhok's appearance but who he is has always been more important.

and then for them to essentially say their own vows in the light of the setting sun? oh, my loves.

Day is starting a new chapter in the book of his life, a new chapter with Mhok and hope and confidence. he's taking back control and paving his own way and no matter what comes he'll face it head on.

i started crying here and didn't stop, P'Aof please i'm sending you bills not for my therapy but for all the water i have to buy to rehydrate myself from all my tears. once again, fucking hell i'm so proud of Day.

and he tells them to have a kid soon! so he can help raise it!! just like he'll probably help raise Porjai's kid. because he no longer sees himself as incapable, as someone unable to help. Mhok has shown him how capable he is, how much he can still do.

please allow me a moment to - AAAAAAAAA.

personally i cannot wait for all the gifsets we're going to see of this moment. they danced so perfectly together because they know each other. Mhok knows Day better than anyone else, they've gone through so much, and they move so intrinsically together. i'd say they know each other better than anyone else but there's still so much of Mhok left unexplored. there's so much Day still doesn't know, so much pain Mhok is still hiding.

i can't wait for them to truly know each other inside and out (not like that, but hey it looks like we're getting that next ep eeeyy)

i'm not really going to comment on the dad showing up at the end. i feel almost nothing about that, i'm just waiting to see how that turns out and reserving my opinions for now. (i had a shit dad, i'm a little bais.)

man, i'd hoped this would be brief with how raw i was feeling and how busy i am with work but GUESS NOT. thanks for reading as always tag loves: @nutcasewithaknife @benkaaoi @callipigio @infinitelyprecious

[sga-owns-my-soul]

🔦favourite sga moment involving mcshep or weir x sheppard

okay well. if there's one thing anyone knows about me it's that i'll ship anything and i'm also mcshep trash so 😅 it's going to be too hard to narrow this down to one moment so you're getting my favourite moments

for shepweir, my absolute favourite moment in the show is in the storm/the eye when kolya says elizabeth is dead and john immediately goes from soldier mindset to genocidal rage and literally does not stop moving and killing until he's told elizabeth is still alive 🥰🥰 we love to see it, i WISH a man loved me enough to commit genocide for me omg actual goals 😍 (although the moment in the tower is also really cute at the end when elizabeth's like they didn't offer you king? and johns like i turned that down too and the little SMIRK SHE GIVES HIM OH MY GOD THEYRE ADORABLE FUCK also in epiphany when she's like ooh i like the beard and he's like it's the first to go when i get home ahhhh it's just. idk it's so domestic and so adorable ugh they're too cute)

also for mcshep, every mcshep moment is a good mcshep moment (and i can make pretty much anything mcshep if i try hard enough) but my favourites come down to:

at the end of hide and seek, when rodney is laying on the floor of the gate room and john rushes down and is the first one at his side but his hands are just fluttering around because he doesn't think he's allowed to touch (or maybe he's too scared to, scared of what he'll show if he gets to touch rodney) it's just sooooooooooo and then john saying he passed out bc he's SO PROUD OF RODNEY FOR BEING SO BRAVE FUCK

also in the defiant one, where rodney is clearly shitting a brick, having seen one of his scientist's dead and one dying, and wanting to go join the fight because he's so scared of john being out there alone and something happening to him. rodney is SO brave and it makes me want to scream and cry and chew on the wall when i think about how many huge changes rodney makes simply just because someone gave him a chance and cared about him

also the whole of millers crossing obviously, the fact that john went back to earth with him and being as worried about jeannie, to john talking a man into killing himself, i mean even rodney asking john for permission (even tho he ends up trying to do it anyways, because that's what john would do- sacrifice himself anyways, and rodney's learned from john) just. the entire episode makes me feral

and last but certainly not least, the shrine. my absolute favourite episode of anything ever, what is, in my opinion, the best piece of media ever created in all of human history. the way rodney loses everything but clings to john so desperately, the way john is the one jeannie turns to for comfort, the way john is breaking in every fucking scene, BEER ON THE PIER, god just literally everything about that episode is so insane to me (and david hewlett went so fucking hard that man deserves every damn award omfg) also kind of unrelated but it's my personal headcanon that rodney was saying i love you to john and not jennifer in that video, rodney was just aware enough to know he couldn't say johns name, but that message was for him 100%

[hacked-by-jake]

SPOILERS

Alright I have way too many thoughts and emotions so there ain't no way I'm gonna be able to organize everything into a nice sentence but I still gotta get it out 🤣🤣

First off, my notes app with some of my thoughts I wrote down while playing (in chronological order):

Where's Jake?

No premium?

Why and where is nymos

Why are we playing candy crush instead of hacking

Again: Where's Jake, he prob sees our chats and knows whats happening (hopefully)

The characters seem like an almost identical reflection to duskwood

What happened to Richy, please don't die on me 😩

Where's the others

We're now paying to see the secret chats

Why's this game taking so much of my money

Ash really be making me cry about Jake again 🥴

Eric be throwing himself at us when I still want to stay loyal to my hacker boy 💀

The ending: I KNEW MY BABY WAS ALIVE I LOVE HIM, I DEMAND HE TALKS TO US NEOW 👹

AND ALAN I MISSED HIM TOO MWAH MWAH

Rant 1:

The money milking makes me sick and don't even get me started on the ai 🫡 I spent 17 bucks today, halfway through the first episode and already out of all the materials I bought. It's disgusting how Everbyte has completely flipped and is practically scamming their players. Based on the prices, it's almost 3 dollars to view one picture 🙄 I would be more than happy to buy a premium package like duskwood for $20 or even 30 but $17 for not even half an episode is a crime 😭😭

Rant 2:

It's crazy how long this game took and yet it's way worse than duskwood. I was expecting a few additions, not subtractions.

Rant 3:

There is no way to see previous media and calls like in duskwood and no chat history like they promised. I never would've thought it was possible, but these mini games are way worse than duskwoods. And I realized how childish it all looks, I hate how we get no explanation for anything we're doing in the game.

Conclusion:

I'm pissed but seeing the anonymous mask gave me life. I need to go replay duskwood to cleanse myself of moonvale 😮‍💨

Pahahaha you're really killing me with your thoughts, I love your humor so much. 😭

I really should also start to write down my first thoughts while playing but I fear I will write down something to every little sentence I read. xD

But it's so true, where's Nymos? Give us Nymos back! My emotional bond with this unreal little dude is huge so I seriously need him. It's literally a program but it's a he you can't change my mind because I imagine Nymos as Jake best friend who's exactly like Jarvis from Marvel. (Sorry if you don't know it but then I really recommend you to watch the Iron Man movies. (Actually all marvel movies but we're talking about Jarvis here so you best see or more like hear him in Iron Man)

Btw my headcanon is that Nymos is not just any program but also an AI. So and now I will expand the headcanon and say Nymos is an AI that is against AI art and nobody can stop me, hehe.

The Candy Crush comparison makes me laugh every time and it hurts me because it’s true. xD

The thing with the characters being identical with the Duskwood characters... It's a hard topic in my eyes.

Some people say it way too early to judge this. And it's true. We didn't saw much now. But I do think we can already judge them a bit by what we saw. And when we compare it with how the Duskwood characters were in the first episode, I do think you can see that there's not much yet, sadly.

Like, we had Thomas, the idiot in love with problems to take criticism. We had Jessy the hanger-on that were clinging to Dan but then decided to change sides. We had the funny sunny boy Richy. The pretty cold acting Cleo. We had bitchy Lilly and of course we had the grumpy and unfriendly Dan. They all acted pretty strong from second one, in my eyes.

But I somehow absolutely don't think the Moonvale characters are like the Duskwood characters. Because well, I really think they need stronger personalities.

We have Eric who's a pretty normal guy and even though he tripped twice in one episode he's not at all like Thomas.

We have Ash who's like a very, veeery light version of Jessy and Lilly, in my eyes. Somehow kind but somehow absolutely not trustworthy.

We have Violet who's just.. there sometimes. Even the drunken police chief is more expressive.

Well and Charlie is.. Somehow like Richy and in my eyes has the strongest personality so far.

Oh and not to forget Brian who wasn't even there. Lol.

So yeah, I understand both points but I might see it a bit differently.

"Why's this game taking so much of my money" had me on my knees, laughing and crying at the same time because it's almost funny what Everbyte did and it's just as sad.

During my first playthrough I was also like: Someone give me a crucifix I need to get rid of Eric as soon as possible.

But while replaying I just had to see what happens if you decide to get closer with Eric and I swear it didn't disappoint me. It was hilarious and truly, I want this with Jake. I need such a chat with Jake! Everbyte, please!

I mean, I'm not flirting with Eric because I think he's hot or anything. Sadly, his character isn't interesting to me in this sense. (I need the mysterious guys xD) But I just had to try it and I mean, who knows if it will be important later. It's manipulative, I know, but don't judge me. And also, there's still this little hope for a jealous Jake. *ahem* Sorry, I promise I still feel bad for flirting with someone else. 😩

But gosh, the side story end. It was worth all the wait, really. I said before, I don’t forget about the negative things because of it but I'm just a silly, lonely, disappointed girl in love with a fictional hacker, let me have this adrenaline boost!

And yes, I was so happy when I saw Alan's body cam. I immediately knew what that means but at first I was just so happy to "see" Alan as well. I really like this guy, I can't stop myself.

About rant 1: I love the comparison with "So expensive is a picture" it is just as true and actually shows again how incredible it all is. I’ve said my opinion many times now, and I still want to protect Everbyte and give them a little empathy. But it's sadly just true.

I had a thought about that (what you said in rant 2) before and wanted to make a post about it later. So I hope it's okay if I get to it later.

Rant 3: This is actually one of the things that botherse the most. We can't rewatch calls, videos and pictures. The chats are disappearing and are gone forever. And they told us it will be different and that's so annoying. Not being able to see it in the app is just bothering for me. And yeah, that they broke the "promise" is as well. We all were so happy about the chat thing and now...

I actually like the look of Moonvale even if I would prefer something much darker. Especially with the mini games. The background is AI, of course, so. It would look much better with a real background.

And the damn mini games... I loved the ones in Duskwood so much. I really did. It was so much fun and I was one of the people who found them very easy.

But now the Moonvale mini games. By lord. Even though they're much easier for me in my replay, the first time I was actually this close to throwing my phone against the wall. I mean, I even went to sleep at some point and finished the game the next day! Everyone who follows me since duskwood knows I would rather shave my head than that. But they're just pain. And I seriously hope Everbyte will make them a bit easier or give us moves! Because this was often the biggest issue for me. Not enough moves. But they want you to buy gems so... 😒

Your conclusion sound good. I'm definitely planning to replay Duskwood as well. If I want or not. I have to. I need the comforting atmosphere and my emotional support hacker.

So I would say, see you in Duskwood, my detective friend. 🫡

No, jokes aside. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me and us. As I said, I love your humor and the way to describe the things. And I really enjoyed answering it. 💚

I hope you could calm down a bit as well. I definitely needed some days before I could see it more clearly.

And as always a huge pleasure to see you here again. 💚😌

[i-am-xp-64]

how did that prom ended:

I felt lazy to make a comic of it so I just made a short video (also I'm kinda having trouble in life a little that I barely getting time or energy-)

But here's what happened:

So apparently the three make it to the prom, it were good lim had a good dance one with Albert and one with jett and they even record it lol, and even after lim asked if they could dance together so he can record that too but ofc there two didn't want it, but luckily the song changes before they even answer so the excuse the song so lim let it slide (smooth technique~✨), and some hours later the music stops and everyone look at that place where they announce the prom king and qquee and they saw kanya there, ofc lim were not want to see her but then kanya make an announcement like "hello everyone, thank you all for coming, I would like to make an important announcement, for an old friend.." Then she pointed at lim and they were shocked, friend?? Is this girl drunk or something? They she keep her talk with "I done..so so wrong to him both in past and current and...i wanted to make an apology in front of everyone as a made up for everything I were done" everyone were applauded, even jett and Albert (they didn't know lol) but lim were confuse and didn't trust this, but thought maybe finally he will got the apology he needed from her so he goes there, kanya reached her hand to lim and lim slowly reached his hand to him, but before everything a loud flush heard along with nail clingings, everyone were gasped and screamed in terror, kanya were planned to shame lim in front of everyone by flashing a blood bucket with nails on him, terrible prank am I right? Kanya laughed loud, Albert and jett run to lim who were crying just standing there all bloody and nails pinned around his head and body, along with Albert and jett, everyone were cursing at kanya because wtf, but kanya didn't take a word just smirking at lim, before she ever say anything jett punched her at the nose and she fell down then they took lim and walk out from there.

Well by the video you can see someone called the cops because there's a attempt of murder there, lim could've died there..well he didn't tho-

It didn't end well, they end up going to a local dryer (that one public place were people go to wash their clothes like on that Mr beans episode) and got lim washed, and just stop at a diner and just hang there, well in all that lim didn't say a word or stop crying, didn't even eat anything or wanted to do anything, Albert and jett tried to talk to him but all lim said was "i wanna go home." So they just drive him home

@weirdsillycreature we need to kill kanya mate, for our little crow(lim)..WE NEED TO END HER-

[mydysfunctionalvampirefamily]

Goddamn why does dark Selina have to be so cool??

Suarez can freeze dark Selina???? That is badass.

My God Ira is rolling so well. 27 dice of damage? That is insane.

Did he just strip Reiss of his perfect clarity easy peasy? Yes! Anything to make Reiss look like the loser he is.

Goddamn Arabella is also very cool. Team astral is going strong.

Ira not wanting Arabella to associate with him. 😂 I'm glad they can still laugh and be a little silly in all this.

Noo they counterthaum his thingy??? Oh they failed.

Reiss failed!!! Yay! I really hope he dies the most pitiful death. Like that people almost don't even care.

Noooooo they possess Eden??? Not our baby! How dare they. 🥺

Apocalyptic form??????????? Oilblsck owl wings, 2 extra arms?? Demon horns??? Extra eyes???? I am cackling. This is def unhinged final battle shit. 😂😂 Also understandable why he didn't use this before, this is not subtle.

Omg the reactions. I don't know I'm ready. 😭

"Oh god." 😭 Wynn bb.

"Miles isn't selfish." 😂 he said that with a straight face too.

Wait who shot Suarez? One of the blsck hand guys?

So basically this roll will mean we might have a season 3 Johnny boss fight??? Plz No. Thank fuck!

-10 on the dice pool??? Wtf Dark Selina?? For someone who loves to fight you don't want to be hit. Kind of mid if you ask me.

13 successes???? That's my boy!!!!! Hell yeah Johnny!!!! Okay she rolls 7 successes but still!

She soaks 11 and she halves all damage?? Goddamn! That is fucked up. Like I know she is powerful but fuck!

46 dice blood pool???

Garrett rolling so bad for her blood pool 😂😂😂 that is so funny.

Wait what??? Why is she all of a sudden getting 6 agg? Me so confused. But I mean I'm not mad about it.

Uhoh this sounds like a Lasombra black hand person.

Okay I know I'm late in asking this in the last episode, hlbut how is lethal damage less bad than agrivsted damage? That makes no sense.

Johnny just got 9 blood? Woah! So tenah is sacrificing herself rn, right?

Oh god Suarez dead and headless?? Brutal.

I feel like Johnny saving the life of the werewolf is so pivotal, maybe not in actual combat but in showing who Johnny is as a person.

Oh, I guess I should have said trying to save the life of that lupine.

Everything goes black??? He dies???? Hahaha haha I'm not laughing hysterically and panicked, you are!

Noooooo!!!! Not just like that?!!?? Wtf 😭😭😭 I somehow assumed Johnny would live. He's such a beast. Now who's gonna kill dark Selina?!?

Also remember 3 lines ago when I said the choice might not be pivotal to this fight. Well I was definitely wrong.

I am screaming!!!! What if Miles made a final deal to get Johnny back oml 😍😍😍

Rebecca trying to be a good girl and reminding Lex of Selina powers and being rewarded with the knowledge that it's a presence power. 🥰

She soaks 11??? Damn. Britta is trying her hardest. 😭

Wow dark Selina, jealous of Britta in all this? That's wild. Also spreading Britta's bosyparts across the state like some fucked up treasure hunt is highly messed up!

Dark Selina is so petty. 😂😂😂 "Your father is dead, shut up."

Come on Miles, baby! What's one more deal for your boo? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (I scared my dog I screeched that hard)

He can fucking teleport???? I'm sorry, demon Miles is fucking dope. Even the demon portals are kind of a charm.

Holding someone up in the air by the neck.

The fucking shocked Gasp from Rob when Lex said Neil 😭😭😭 I'm immediately crying.

(the line: "the only thing that makes sense to you is that wherever you are, Neil is there." is gonna be such a lifeline for shippers to cling to.)

Johnny, baby. 😭 The hug. The conversation. I don't know why, but I wasn't ready for this.

Remember when we were laughing at Wynn sending tremere to their room and not sobbing? Good times.

Omg I kind of forgot about the Johnny resurrection. Damn poor Neil all alone again.

Johnny can control his frenzy???? Woah!!! Kill this bitch!!!

"Save them, I've made the deals I needed to." Stop! 😭

The glee in Tim's voice killing these people.

Noooooo the oubliette!

Wait now she has jess and Eden???

😂😂😂 They're in the last battle of the world and they're arguing about if they need to scrap movie night from the curriculum.

Ira is such a badass.

Noooooo Reiss!!!!, now she's gonna eat the girls.

No nono nono Reiss cannot leave! He needs to die!!!

Yaaaaay fire damage!!

YESSSSSSSAAA HE FUCKING KILLED HER!!! SHE'S FUCKING ASSSSHHHHJ BABY!

Okay now that I've cheered and all that I'm basically only halfway through this episode. Uhoh!

Omg Weathers????

Johnny and the fire flower.

"He ran away." Wynn plz 😭

"Miles thinks you should do that can you change your line, Miles?" 😂

Wait why are we taking Delgado?

Thank you, Miles! I mean I get the complicated relationship Johnny but wild to just bring him.

Wynn is not taking Neil's death well, not that I think she would. But she's angry.

AAAAAAAHHHHH is he gonna drink her??? Yes pllleaase!!! Noooooo whyyy you gotta be sensible??? 😭

Johnny going from angry to soft at Miles. "Friends till the end." 😭😭😭

If they know the weapon that kills Selina, why do they need pendragon just go to Hartford and get it?

The Britta/Johnny hug 🥺🥺🥺 (I know someone who is gonna Love this)

This is a testament to how insane shit has been that I had already forgotten that Wynn had to choose between Neil and Britta back then.

Not the almost childlike hope of Johnny that they can just find Neil's ghost and solve this.

"and tries to tell herself to get up, because he's not coming to help her." excuse you! I'm walking my dog and crying rn. I thought we might have a quick break where I could be in public and listen to this goddamn podcast!

Miles trying his best to sound so casual up on the rooftop. But still hoping there is a way. Saying he doesn't think he can stay instead of full out saying he can't. Damn.

Even in this moment you cannot unravel your emotional constipation???? God fucking damnit Miles!!!

You're making me fucking cry about cigarettes??

Britta: I don't know if I like being called a death assassin

Wynn: I don't know what other kind there is.

Touche Wynn. 😂

Why does it sound like they are kind of leaving Britta behind? That would be fucked up.

Johnny and his girls though, how perfect would that be? Okay good Britta is gonna get to do her own thing by her own choice instead of just being left behind. 😂

Yaaaaay Britta finally saying she is good at something! Only took us 100 episodes to get her to recognise her potential.

Miles' final piece of accounting advice: it's your car, you can paint it any colour you want.

Uhoh. UHOH. Noooooo. We knew this was coming, but it's still so freaking sad. Fucking Lucinde, why is she just the worst? Even when she's gone she is still ruining this. Why not let them have one last night together? One last group hug. Wynn fearfully begging Miles to go and make sure she never finds him.

Miles still taking care of all of them though, making sure they have papers and money.

If I'm gonna be honest I kind of assumed/hoped we would just kill Lucinde before this was an issue.

Jessica is so awesome. (this is a compliment! Before we have a whole John is so cool thing all over again. 😂)

I cannot believe John Fucking Reiss is still alive!!!! I stfg! That was my only hope. That he'd die. 😂

What the fuck??? Roman Pendragon did a TV interview covered in blood??? 😂😂😂😂 Sorry that makes me crack up. That is insane.

"I'll miss you most of all, scarecrow." 😂

"... Into the dark." idk why but those last three words gave me goosebumps. I can't believe it's done.

Also on the one hand I'm glad Miles is alive, but idk maybe it's because I so assumed he'd would for sure die. And I hoped he'd die sacrificing himself. But if I really let go of my obsession with bringing Miles pain and being the idea of him and Arabella like that is kind of funny. Also the fact that Zofiel always gets his way is amusing. I also know that alive is aparently a stretch after that ritual.

The not my name?!? Omg

[coldshrugs]

wip wednesday

i was tagged by @hythlodaes and @myreia, thank you frens :> and i'll tag (no pressure) @scionshtola @lavampira @gefiltefished @hylfystt @impossible-rat-babies aaaand @magebastard because 👀 i'm working through the modern au's thanksgiving episode and this part is obliterating me (sorry if you've already read this 🧍‍♂️)

How long has she been staring at the ceiling? Fifteen minutes? Four hours?

Io doesn’t want to look at the time—it’s hard to tell here anyway, without the familiar sounds of her campus or the city moving around her; there’s only the rustling of an animal or two outside as they prepare for winter, the occasional snap of a branch. Moonlight falls through the blinds, landing across the bed in thin silver arcs, and not even those hint at a turning sky. For all she knows, time has stopped, the world and all its ceaseless motion has paused, and she can live in this Wednesday forever. The evening can stretch on indefinitely, never reaching midnight.

Tomorrow doesn’t have to exist.

She’s had enough Thanksgivings for a lifetime anyway.

Maybe she was wrong to travel so far away from her home. Away from them. But what does it matter when both things are out of her reach, regardless of the geography?

All she has left are memories of ghosts, in a house that belongs to someone else now. She hopes the family living there will make the same kinds of memories. It feels like a stupid wish to make while she’s feeling sorry for herself, and a laugh that barely sounds like hers breaks the silence. That’s when she realizes she’s crying, and the laughter is mutilated by a choked sob as she curls in on herself.

The doorknob turns clumsily. Shit, shit, shit… She wipes her eyes and nose on her sleeves.

The hinges whine and Estinien, little more than a dark shape, steps into the room. His voice is thick from sleep as he asks, “Io? Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” It’s a hurried whisper. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

The weight of his stare settles on her in the dark. As the seconds pass, it becomes clear that this is a standoff: her avoidance versus his stubbornness.

She sighs, unsure if she wants him to stay or go, but needing something to change.

“What do you want me to say?” she asks, and every word fractures on the way out as her voice refuses to remain even. So fucking embarrassing.

“Hey, come here.” But he is the one who moves. The single bed shifts as he climbs in, sliding an arm under her shoulders and pulling her to him. Without thinking, Io clings to him. The tears come faster, her shoulders shake, but she is quieter now.

After some time, Estinien asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Maybe in a minute.”

“I’ll be here.” Soft as it is, his voice does not waver. Io has never believed anything more than she believes this simple promise.

“Will you talk to me?” she sniffles against his shoulder. “I'm sorry. Not your favorite activity, I know.”

“Yeah, I can talk to you,” he says. They shuffle a little, getting more comfortable in the bed that’s too small for the both of them. It’s a tight squeeze, but the warmth and pressure of being tucked against Estinien’s side is grounding. He strokes her hair. When he speaks, his whisper is slow and soothing, and if this is how Wednesday ends and Thursday begins, maybe she can tolerate it. 

“I was thirteen during my first Thanksgiving with Alberic... It was a fucking mess. He went all out for it; bought a huge turkey, things to make all the sides, and he wanted to make pumpkin pie too. It was more food than we could eat, and he was determined to make everything from scratch—the ultimate pity meal, right? He asked if I wanted to help, but I couldn’t see that he was trying to keep me busy. I was miserable, so I just stayed in here, crying all day. Wondering why I had to be here, in this house that wasn’t mine, with a man I didn’t know and didn’t want to know, instead of being… wherever they were…” He trails off. That thought needs no explanation; it’s where Io was last year, trying so hard not to let it show as she grasped for some degree of normalcy.

“Yeah,” she admits. His fingers find her scalp, scratching gently.

“Alberic spent so much time outside my room that day, just sitting on the other side of the door, that everything was burnt by the time he convinced me to come out. When I did, I could see he’d been crying too. I felt so shitty for putting him through it that I sat down at the table full of ruined food—which he fully arranged, by the way, the sentimental fuck—and I just started eating. It was awful, but Alberic ate too. It was just us, trying not to cry over all this charred food. And when we finished, he brought out this perfect pie—the only thing he managed to get right—and it was the best pie I’ve ever had. I don’t know. I think about that a lot, you know? When everything feels shitty, I try to find the one good thing at the end of it. It’s always there, if you wait for it.”

Io steels herself with a long inhale. “I miss them, so much.”

“I know,” Estinien says. “Me too. That’s just how it’ll be for us.”

She doesn’t mistake his straightforward words for nonchalance. This is the whole of it, the reason he invited her. This is him linking his pain to hers, telling her it will still be there in ten years, reminding her that either of them carrying it alone is not an option. He will lift on one side if she lifts the other, and together they will move forward. Her grief will be as stubbornly reliable as the man at her side. She wants to believe the context of both will change with time. His grief seems to have changed, so maybe there’s hope for hers.

“I’m glad I’m here with you, though. And Alberic. Even if this trip was an elaborate setup to keep me busy.”

Estinien laughs quietly but doesn’t deny it. They settle into the silence, their bodies relaxing a little. Io’s breathing has steadied in his arms. Lines of light spill over part of his face, highlighting the slope of his nose, and accentuating the length of his lashes against his cheek while his eyes are closed. They’ve never been this close. If she turned her head, she could almost—

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

“Okay, who have you been texting all week? Just tell me.” She hopes that sounds less annoyed than she is.

More silence. His hand stills in her hair. From behind his lashes, his eye slides over to her and then to the ceiling. “...just a guy. Vic. In one of my classes.”

Well.

Fuck.

A different weight sits on her chest now, but she can recover from this one. “He’s making you laugh. I like him already.”

“We don’t have to talk about it.” He uses the hand that’s not occupied with touching her to cover his face. Io lifts herself on her elbow a bit to tease him, but also to allow him to move, if he wants to. He doesn’t budge.

“Do you think he calls his nudes ‘Vic pics’ instead of—?”

“Io—” But Estinien laughs anyway, too loudly and sincerely for her to feel anything besides bittersweet happiness for him. It’s not time.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, giggling too. “But hey, if you send any, remember to crop out your face.”

“I hate this,” he groans, slinging his forearm across his face. But in an isolated streak of moonlight, she can see the corner of his lips still turned up.

“But not me?”

“Never you.”

“You neither.”

Time moves again, and she measures it by the changing pattern of light falling across his face. His eyes close again, and his breathing slows to a peaceful rhythm. Estinien falls asleep with his arm still wrapped around her shoulder. Io also closes her eyes, and doesn't wonder which side of midnight this moment belongs to.

[thelikesofus]

i’m so glad i get to hold you

What am i supposed to do when they make me wait two weeks for a new episode but cry over something that happened like three years ago???

Post-Tsunami: follow-up to Chris being found; Eddie takes Buck home with him.

9-1-1 on Fox | 2180 words | soft buddie, emotional hurt/comfort, hair drying cos it makes me soft, eddie's just glad his boys are okay

Read on AO3

The stress Eddie has experienced in the last ten minutes is something he never wishes to repeat in his lifetime. The relief in his chest threatens to consume him as he tucks Christopher–cold and damp but alive–closer into his arms and rests his forehead against the smooth skin of his son's cheek. He breathes. For a long moment he kneels on the concrete and lets the smell of salt water that clings to Christopher's clothes drown him, lets his damp curls tickle his cheek and revels in the way his tiny chest expands with every breath.

"Dad?" Christopher starts squirming. Even wrapped in the massive red hoodie someone put him in his small frame is shivering in the cold.

"Yeah, buddy." Eddie brushes a hand over Christopher's curls. "You're okay. I'm so glad you're okay."

"Where's Buck?"

Eddie stops, his heart stutters in his chest as Buck's face flashes through his mind. The distraught shake to his voice, the way his hands trembled as he reached for Christopher's glasses, hanging around his neck like a noose. Eddie looks up and glances back to where Buck was standing a moment ago and finds him collapsed in a heap on the ground, Hen and Bobby barely holding him up while Chim tries to talk to him and check him over. But Eddie can tell that Buck's not listening, his eyes are glued to Eddie and Christopher kneeling not ten feet away. The pure awe and relief on his face creates a matched pair with the swelling feeling in Eddie's chest as he looks between his son and this man who kept them alive through a tsunami.

Carefully, Eddie gathers Christopher in his arms and rises to his feet. He closes the distance between them until he's standing in front of Buck who looks up at him and then down at Christopher. Buck's eyes shine with unshed tears and his mouth opens and closes as he looks at Eddie again, his blue eyes wide and begging and Eddie reads him instantly.

He crouches down and carefully unfolds his arms to transfer Christopher to Buck. Chris goes easily, his arms wrapping tightly around Buck's neck and his fingers gripping into the filthied material of his once-white t-shirt. Buck lets out a hiccupped gasp and wraps his arms around Christopher like a vice, burning his nose in his curls the same way Eddie did a moment ago.

Hen steps back to let Eddie move closer and Buck sways and lurches a little before Eddie is right there sliding a hand around Buck's shoulders and crouching down next to him.

Buck lifts his head only to look at him. "Eddie, I–"

Eddie just nods and smiles quietly at him as he slides that same hand up the back of Buck's neck and into the damp hair around the back of his head. His scalp is gritty under Eddie's fingers, coated in dirt and who knows what else that was flowing through all that sea water but he's a solid, physical presence under Eddie’s hand and a second wave of relief rushes through him. He could have lost both of his boys today and yet here they are right in front of him. He pulls Buck in by the back of his head and he goes easily, the two of them rock into Eddie's chest until he can get his arms around both Buck and Christopher, gripping them for dear life.

"You're okay." He mumbles into the space between the two of them. "You're both okay."

Buck starts sobbing and Eddie is pretty sure there are tears quietly running down his own cheeks but he can't bring himself to care.

It's a long time before Eddie can dare to let himself let them go and even as Chimney finally gets to look Buck and Christopher over, Chris remains tucked inside the circle of Buck's arms while Eddie crouches behind Buck's back. Buck leans unconsciously against Eddie's knees until Eddie kneels more firmly on the ground behind him and presses his chest flush against Buck's back. He can feel the slow rise and fall of his shoulders with every breath and lets one hand remain resting on his shoulder, admittedly sliding closer until it rests along the side of Buck's neck where he can press his fingers in and feel Buck's pulse beating steadily.

When Chimney eventually clears them both, Bobby gives Eddie a firm nod and lets him take them both home. Hen hugs Buck tightly when he gets to his feet and lets Eddie know that Karen is around the back of the block to pick them up. Buck makes a pained whining noise when Eddie has to take Christopher from his arms but he's swaying on his feet and there's no way he'll be able to walk to Karen's car whilst carrying Chris. He situates Chris on his hip and wraps an arm around Buck's waist to lead him to the car.

Karen hugs them both tightly when she sees them, kissing both Buck and Chris on their cheeks and squeezes Eddie's arm just a little tighter. The three of them bundle into her back seat and Eddie passes Chris back to Buck who accepts him instantly, tucking the boy under his chin and leaning heavily against Eddie's side. He meets Karen's gaze in the review mirror and she smiles softly at him.

The drive back to Eddie's house is quiet and Eddie watches the tiredness quickly seep into both Buck and Christopher's worn-out bodies. When they pull up the driveway Karen asks if they need anything else and Eddie waves her off as he helps the other two out of the vehicle. Buck hands Christopher to him who had nodded off a few minutes ago. Buck looks a little less like he’s in shock now but his expression is still vacant and he won’t meet Eddie’s gaze. They both thank Karen for the ride and then Eddie ushers Buck inside.

He runs a hand over Christopher's head and carefully wakes him. “Hey, buddy. Do you think you can keep your eyes open long enough for a bath?”

Chris nods even as his eyelids droop and Eddie quickly gets him out of his wet clothes and into the warm water. The water runs brown when Eddie washes his hair and he has to bite back the pained noise that threatens to crawl up his throat. God, he nearly lost him, he nearly lost them both. Eddie bundles Chris into clean pajamas and goes to tuck him into bed but at the last minute changes his mind and takes him to his bedroom and carefully deposits him in the middle of the double bed. He looks tiny under Eddie’s covers with his cheeks flushed pink from the warm water and his eyelashes fanning out under his closed eyes.

Buck is still standing in the kitchen when he goes back out to the living room. His hands are clasped tightly to the back of a chair and he’s staring at nothing with his jaw clenched and his shoulders visibly shaking. Eddie reaches out and cups the ball of one shoulder in his hand, squeezing lightly. “Hey, Buck? Why don’t you go have a shower, yeah?”

Buck nods without looking at him and disappears down the hallway. While he’s gone Eddie changes into his pajamas and leaves a pile of dry clothes outside the bathroom door for Buck. He finds the extra bedding in the cupboard and makes up a bed on the couch for Buck. There is no way Eddie is sending him back to his loft tonight.

Buck’s hair is still damp when he comes back into the room with the towel in his hands and one of Eddie’s older LAFD t-shirts stretched across his shoulders. He looks clean and warm though the scraps across his face cause Eddie’s heart to constrict painfully and he has to remind himself that Buck is there, he is okay, he is standing in Eddie’s living room. “Eddie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have–.”

“Come here.” Eddie waves him closer and takes the towel from his hands while he directs Buck to sit on the floor next to the couch. He lets Eddie manoeuver him though he seems confused until Eddie sits behind him on the couch with his knees bracketing Buck’s shoulders and starts to gently rub the towel over Buck’s curls.

“Eddie?”

“Shhh, you really shouldn’t walk around with wet hair, you’ll catch a chill.” Eddie says. It’s what his Abuela use to tell him as a little kid. Buck’s hair is soft in the way it moves under the towel, slowly forming ringlets that spill over the crown of Buck’s head with a few longer parts that brush over his forehead. Eddie wonders sometimes why he insists on gelling it back all of the time. “I don’t blame you, Buck.”

“Eddie–”

“Buck, there is no way you could have known there was going to be a tsunami. You wouldn’t blame any of the other parents who were at the pier with their kids today?”

“Of course not, but–.” Buck’s shoulders stiffen and he tries to turn to face Eddie but Eddie lets the towel fall to the floor next to them and smoots both of his hands over Buck’s shoulders, keeping him firmly in place while he tries to ease some of the tension out of Buck’s tightly wound muscles. Eddie is sure he’ll be sore tomorrow from all the swimming.

“Buck. You and I both know that if you hadn’t been with him, Chris wouldn’t have survived the first wave.” The admission tastes like vinegar in his mouth. “But he did, you’re both right here in this house and he is sleeping soundly right down the hall. I cannot thank you enough for that.”

He lets one hand run up the back of Buck’s head and into the curls the same way he did while Chimney was checking him over. This time though he watches as the clean curls slip and wind through his fingers. Buck lets out one gasping sob and Eddie wraps his arms around him from behind and holds him as Buck cries through the stress and relief of what truly has been a terrible, horrible, no-good day.

“Thank you.” Eddie whispers into his ear and Buck turns his head just enough to press his forehead into the side of Eddie’s arm. He’s not sure how long they stay like that but by the time Buck stops crying he has completely turned in Eddie’s hold until he has his arms around Eddie’s waist and his head resting on Eddie’s thigh as he runs a hand up and down Buck’s back.

“You ready to go to sleep?” He askes even though he knows Buck is—his eyes have been closed for the last ten minutes but he still whines when Eddie’s hand stops moving. “Come on, let's get you up off the floor.”

He lets Buck get himself under the blankets and turns off the main light, leaving only the lamp beside the couch to cast a soft glow over the room. Eddie smiles at Buck and turns to leave the room when Buck calls out to him. “You promise you’re not mad?”

Eddie stops and calls back to him, “I promise, Buck. There is no one I trust with my son more than you.” He means that with every fiber of his being and when he gets into bed and wraps his arms tightly around Christopher he thanks whoever was looking over his boys today that he still has them both within arms reach.

Eddie is woken by a crash as the bedroom door swings open.

“Eddie! Eddie, he’s gone, Chris isn’t in his bed, I can’t find him!” Buck’s chest is heaving when Eddie manages to prop himself up on one elbow and watches in slow motion as Buck recognizes the bundles up lump next to Eddie under the covers and every part of his body deflates with relief. “I went to check on him and he wasn’t there.”

Eddie reaches out and pulls the covers back on the side of the bed closest to Buck. “He’s right here. Here, get in.”

“I, umm.”

“Buck, please.” Eddie coxes him closer. “Quickly, all the warmth is escaping.”

Buck carefully slides under the covers as if he’s convinced Eddie will change his mind. Once he’s laying on his side Eddie pulls the covers back over both of them and shuffles himself and Christopher closer to Buck until Chris is sandwiched between them. It’s a testament to how tired Christopher is that he has not been woken by any of this. Eddie reaches out and tugs on one of Buck’s arms until he lets him pull it over Christopher and arm Eddie’s side. Buck sighs deeply as he buries his nose into the curls at the top of Christopher’s head and Eddie rests his own arm over both of them until he can press his palm firmly between Buck’s shoulder blades.

“We’re all okay.”

[bishopsbelova]

what is your top 10 favorite rollisi scenes/moments?

16x05 - I know it's so small; but the ending scene is when I think there's a slight shift in their partnership. When she's trying to push the case and he stops her and tells her to "walk away" and she does? If it were anyone else, Amanda would have fought and stood her ground. But she goes with Sonny

17x07 - the whole "my mother's in church lighting a candle for you right now" and "there's nothing you can't handle" gets me every single time

17x10 - when they're walking and Jesse starts crying and Sonny doesn't even hestiate before he picks up her and starts soothing her???? That was the moment I fell for that man - and I think that’s when Amanda realized that maybe it could be something deeper

The entirety of 17x19 - I think it's literally impossible to not just love this episode. Sonny undercover and Amanda having worried wifey energy the entire time? Her inviting him over for dinner (mostly for Jesse time) because the case did a number on him and she knows that it's exactly what he needs.

21x10 - just for that elevator scene. Amanda had kept it together for so long to keep up appearances; but the second she's alone with Sonny, she lets herself break down because she trusts him that fucking much

22x12 - “You’ve been the grown up for a while now Amanda Rollins" and the way he grabs her hand???? SIR. Not to mention the fact that he had clearly cancelled a date to sit with her at the hospital for who knows how long.

22x16 - their first kiss seems obvious. I'm sorry but it's the best first kiss moment that I have ever seen in any tv show.

The entirety of the moments in 23x01; but specifically the office scene where Amanda asks him if he can take a little break. Just the smile on her face? I think that's the happiest we'd ever seen Amanda Rollins in the entire series up to that point and then the look of shock on her face when he offers to take her out to dinner? Because she wasn't expecting that but like this man would drop everything for her.

The trash scene in 23x05 - like Sonny's the one who took the brunt of the trash - he literally got HIT with a slushy straight to the chest - but he doesn't even worry about himself??? Just turns straight to Amanda and makes sure that she's okay even though she didn't get hit; because she was on the opposite side of him???? It's so little and so skippable but says so much??

The office scene in 24x03. I hate season 24 so damn much; but this scene hits so much. The way Amanda admits this is the healthiest relationship she's ever been in? The way she's over here drowning in her PTSD and is struggling so much and is afraid she's ruined everything; but Sonny assures her she hasn't and she literally clings to him because he's her fucking life line?

Honorable mentions

23x13 - their first public kiss after they disclose because they both just seem so fucking happy.

23x22 - their first I love you

[v3nusxsky]

emily prentiss helping bpd!reader through an episode?

I'm here Angel

*Authors note~ bpd is such an important topic I hope I can do this some justice and she'd some light on the condition. This is going to be mainly based off my experiences with bpd*

Trigger warnings~ bpd r bpd episode abusive ex paranoia hallucination self harm etc

Prompt~ see ask^^^^^

You were fine, until you heard those words. "Wheels up in twenty", it wouldn't have bothered you if you were not going to Florida. It's strange how a place could do so much to you, but they didn't know that. Maybe if they did you would've sat this case out. Stayed with Garcia and worked from the office. But they didn't, so you gathered your Go bag and headed out to the strip where JJ and Emily were waiting.

You started to notice the episode on the plane, you knew the team were talking, you could see their mouths moving but you couldn't bring yourself to join in. It was like an outsider looking in. You appeared to be distracted and unfocused. You couldn't help but fight the urge to slip into the planes bathroom and search for something to solve the problem. You knew it was wrong, but why would you care anyway, you were already littered in scars.

The team seemed to be frustrated at your lack of concentration so you tried as hard as you could to fight this episode off, you weren't able to cope with this while working. It wasn't that the team didn't know of your BPD because they did, Emily was closer to you than any of the other members. Spencer had the most experience with mental health but you still felt the need to keep things to yourself. It was safer that way.

By the time you arrived in Florida you were a wreck. You Emily and JJ were sent to the local Police department to set up base, and that's when you saw her. Fuck. You didn't realise she worked in the force. Suddenly you were suffocating, drowning as her face haunted your vision. Everything was her. The paranoia set in that very moment. You felt like everyone knew what she'd done, that they were laughing at you. Her voice in places she shouldn't be, no matter who's voice she replaced it was her. Spewing hatred as everyone sniggered and watched you.

You didn't realise you were crying, shaking and backing away into the left corner of the room until Emily began to advance towards you. "Pretty girl? Are you okay Angel?" It wasn't Emily. You could see it was her! You just wanted the real Emily. "Go away! Don't touch me! Make it stop" you sobbed now gaining the attention of most the police department. JJ looked over in sympathy before grabbing Spencer and trying to distract the officers, hoping the less people would help Emily calm you.

"Sweetheart? I won't touch you but I need you to focus on my voice" Emily whispered as your eyes darted around the room seeing multiple of her ex. "Go away go away!" If Emily didn't understand what was happening right now she may have listened to that command, but she knew you maybe not to what caused this episode but she wasn't about to leave you in such a state. "Hey, pretty girl, listen to me. It's Em, your Emi. It's okay, I'll keep you safe Angel." Maybe it was time or just that you found the raven haired woman soothing, but her voice finally broke through the hallucination and paranoia.

Your blurry eyes focused on Emily, "that's it, good job pretty girl" was all it took for you to fall into her awaiting arms. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry" you whimpered over and over again. "Angel, shhh it's okay it's all gonna be okay."

You lost count of long you sat sobbing in her arms. She didn't seem to mind holding you. You were exhausted and truthfully trying to processs that she wasn't currently in the room, all until you heard her tell JJ to let her in. You whimpered, clinging to Emily pleading with her to keep you safe. "You can't go in there" JJ was firm and clear yet she still pushed past into the room only to be met with an almost animalistic snarl from Emily. "Get out!"

"She's mine I'll help her, you don't know what you're doing" she snarled back only for Emily to stand with you immediately clinging to her, arms around her neck and legs clinging to her waist. She walked out holding you, biting at the fact the woman tried to touch you, only to be pinned by Spencer. "Not happening" was all he offered. You nuzzled into her neck as she quickly mumbled to Hotch, who was just arriving that you needed her and to be away from this hell. He nodded in understanding and of course JJ filled him in on what happened. Safe to say your ex had no job after this case, Hotch made sure of that.

Emily quickly managed to get you into the car and off to the hotel and into her room. "Angel, I need to get my key card" she mumbled only causing you to shake your head no. Somehow she managed it and placed you on her bed before offering you a hoodie and some water. Her scent soothing you as you reached for the woman again. "Can we talk about what happened pretty girl? Or would you like to sleep now." You choose sleep and you need up snuggled up to the woman. You'd talk tomorrow that's for sure but for now she's happy to hold you.

Word count~ 952

[bird-inacage]

I've been working off the theory that everything we see in the trailer is going to happen in the first six episodes, but Ray's breakdown is the one thing that makes me doubt that.

It's a massive amount of emotion to be triggered by what we've seen so far, even his ongoing heartbreak over Mew or things breaking down with Sand, so if I'm right I would guess that it's likely to be because of his mother's death and/or his alcoholism.

No idea why I think it's all happening in the first six eps, I just do!

Hello Anon!

That's a sensible assumption to make. Many of the clips heavily used in promotion (trailers/music video) have featured in the first few episodes. It makes sense for them to hold back on showing too much of the most juicy/spoilery scenes. I'm expecting the more explosive and climatic moments to start appearing around the midway point or later. Considering Khaotung's an acting powerhouse, he'll have some strong story beats which they'll want to save for later I reckon.

Ray's breakdown scene is intriguing, as you mention, because of the extreme degree of emotion he exhibits here. What could cause him to be so upset? I think Ray is terrified of ending up alone. He likes to be in control because it gives him the illusion he can stop people from leaving him. Especially when death or tragedy occurs, you cling on tighter to those around you.

I don't think it'll be in response to Mew. Ray seems to have already come to terms with the fact that Mew doesn't see him romantically. Mew is also the one comforting him in that scene which I think is significant.

Chances are this may have something to do with the threat of Sand leaving him. Either from an argument where they've both really hurt one another, or Ray is feeling desperately regretful that his actions may have been the last straw for Sand. I'm more inclined towards the latter, because for Ray to be so upset, I think it that sort of reaction could come from a place of guilt over something he did or caused.

The other thing that came to my mind is Ray relying on alcohol to drown his sorrows (maybe to a dangerous degree). Which could also explain why he's in such a state. Being naked in a bath tub made me think Mew was trying to clean him up after an worrying bender. I think his mother's death/alcoholism will be a component that exacerbates his reaction, rather than the cause itself.

Either way, this scene is going to wreck me😭 I think First mentioned in an interview that Neo kept teasing them because their pairing has the most crying, when this series is supposed to be hot and sexy.

---birdie

[spoofymcgee]

no i am sobbing. you don't understand.

this is actually the most beautiful regeneration scene ever.

aesthetically it's so pretty. the rainbow glare, the sea and the sunrise and the composition is just. auh.

i did–don't get me wrong, i think on an emotional level i would probably pick twelve's regeneration as top of the list, but this is an easy second.

she's ready for it, she wants more time but she's not going to hold off because she's had enough and she's not clinging to the past anymore–she's seen what that can do and she's let it go and that was the whole point of her arc in flux: learning how to let go of the past without setting it on fire, learning how to grow and be at peace with who you used to be even if you didn't get enough time to learn who that was.

she gets to say goodbye to yaz, she gets to help save earth one more time, she gets to see on last sunrise. she gets to rest. she's so tired and she's been going for so long and she's ready for what comes next.

aside from that, the trigger for this regeneration? 'if i can't be the doctor neither can you'?? oh my god???

he is a cringefail loser and i love him with my whole heart.

you actually do not understand how obsessed i am with the master.

no one is doing it like he is. he hates the doctor and he's obsessed with the doctor and he wants to be the doctor and make the doctor him IN THE MOST LITERAL WAY and he wants to ruin the doctor's reputation and he changes into the doctor's old clothes and he keeps the earring and the tardis just fuckin. lets him fly her? after only grumbling a little? and he keeps a recorder in his pocket in case he gets abandoned on an asteroid and needs some way to pass the time and he's dying and his body is failing and the last thing he does is kill the doctor.

because they can't get it right because they've known each other for so long and there's so much memory there and every lifetime they try in their own ways to fix it and they're always doomed to fail because they can never figure it out because they can't see past what they used to be because they're so afraid that the second they do they'll figure out that there's nothing left except for ghosts and they'll never get it back.

god i'm so fucking insane about this episode.

the way i started sobbing and didn't stop for five full minutes. what the fuck. what the fuck. they went to get ice cream. thirteen held off regenerating not because she was afraid or not ready or wanting to stop–even though that's all true–but because yaz deserved one last trip, because she wanted one last trip with yaz. oh my god.

alright scuse me gonna go cry for more time. bye.