#I'm certainly a person of diverse and intense interests

[obstinatecondolement]

Reading through all the titles of the books I've gotten on Humble Bundle in my account on their site is a really sobering look inwards ngl.

[werewolf-transgenderism]

re your post about it--i'm curious about your thoughts on the global middle ages! i did my bachelors in medieval studies and whenever somebody asks, i talk about how the medieval period refers to a specific historical arc in a specific geographical range where a specific group of cultures were mingling. we don't talk about "medieval australia" in the same way we don't talk about "third intermediate period british isles" or "edo period caribbean," right? my thinking is that that's because the various cultural moments that led us to denote that date range as a specific period didn't happen in every culture, everywhere. the history of other geopolitical regions is periodized in ways that reflect historians' ideas of those regions' own major cultural shifts and such.

now i absolutely have not been keeping up with current discussions in the field, and if it's a whole thing totally feel free to tell me to just google it. but if you do have thoughts about it that you want to share, or literature to point me towards, i'd love to hear!

I think it kind of is A Whole Thing right now, alas, but! I do think the original idea of the global middle ages is important — it helps to gain a broader understanding of the premodern past. while “medieval” or “middle ages” has been used to almost exclusively refer to western europe c. 500-1500, we KNOW that there was trade and travel happening between europe, the SWANA region, and east asia, and that trade/travel certainly influenced culture/literature/etc. if we don’t also look to these regions we’re missing out on vital info about how the medieval world worked in direct contact with the western european regions we typically associate with the middle ages. in addition, thinking globally can also invite collaboration across disciplinary boundaries that are set apart for the reasons you mention — I’m thinking, for instance, of the interesting and important work that scholars like tarren andrews, suzanne conklin akbari, adam miyashiro, brenna duperon, etc., have been doing in collaboration between indigenous studies and medieval studies. nahir otaño-gracia has also been doing some interesting work on caribbean medievalisms and we know from late medieval/early modern documents that medieval understandings of race and monstrosity went hand in hand with the colonial projects of western europe.

one of the issues that’s been going around with global middle ages though is 1) it’s still not really “global” (for the reasons above, the research has mostly been focused on SWANA/east asia) and 2) it often tends to end up in the “I am giving my class one non-western european text (or maybe even just mandeville or marco polo or a crusade chronicle) in our survey class and patting myself on the back for my global syllabus” area OR the “this field is so incredibly not diverse and perhaps some of these people should think about why and how they’re engaging with these regions/cultures” issue re: extractive reading/research practices that don’t engage with the cultures whose history/practices/literature they’re using (tarren andrews’ work does a really good job of laying this out)

I personally would love if there were more collaboration happening across fields to make conversations about the premodern world across geopolitical and historical boundaries because I think it’s really interesting, and I think that how we set up periodization in history/literature creates artificial boundaries that can foreclose on understanding the diverse and interconnected nature of the medieval world. also the post I made was brought on by a public history book I’m reading about medieval women where I was thinking about how much I’d love to know about women in the medieval world outside of just western europe but it’s so much harder to find public history casual reading type stuff about those topics (and like. I can and do read academic books all the fucking time but I would love for some more public-facing stuff that’s a less intensive read)

[reliabledragon]

Hi! I’m genuinely curious, why is Seattle a bad place to live? I’ve thought about moving there at one point, until I realized I wouldn’t be able to afford it.

Ah, well, I should probably clarify that I don't think it's, like, an inherently bad place or anything. It was just a really bad fit for me, so being stuck there for several years really sucked. Basically, it boiled down to a few things:

Making Friends: Seattle is so notoriously unfriendly that the "Seattle Freeze" even has its own Wikipedia page. People will be plenty nice to you, but most have no interest in actually becoming friends, and it takes ages to build a social network there.

Lack of Diversity: In this case meaning the cultural sense, not the racial one. (It is racially homogenous as well, but I'm not really qualified to open that can of worms.) Seattle basically does like, three things: extreme outdoor activities, substances, and computer stuff. ("Substances" here meaning things like weed, but also beer, coffee, etc.) So if you want to go skiing every day, climb mountains, smoke weed, drink artisanal beer, play video games, or found a startup, it's a good place for that. However, if you want to do anything else then you are going to be fighting against Seattle every inch of the way.

The Dating Scene: Again, Seattle does some things very well here — it's probably the best dating market in the country if you're poly! But again, the monoculture means that if you're Seattle's kind of person then you're going to have the time of your life, but if you aren't, then you will simply be screwed. And I wasn't, so I spent three years basically unable to find anyone to seriously date. (I will grant that part of this could have been a me problem, but I certainly had far less difficulty both in SF before and NYC after.)

Urban Design: Maybe this is a personal one, but Seattle is in this really awkward middle ground, where it absolutely sucks to have a car in the city, but it also absolutely sucks not to have one. It's my least favorite city in the US that I've ever driven in, but it's also a pretty rotten experience trying to get around town on the bus or (very limited) light rail system. I'd much rather live somewhere with functional public transit, but if that's not possible then I'd at least like my mandatory car usage not to feel like I'm turning the ignition key in a Saw trap.

Distance: Unless your friends and family are in the PNW, you're probably going to want to leave occasionally to see other people, and Seattle is really very far away from everything other than Portland and Vancouver. Perhaps this isn't the biggest issue on this list, but combined with the Seattle Freeze, it can make the city intensely lonely. And combined with the weather, it makes it even harder to get away when the sky starts feeling oppressive in the winter. And speaking of winter...

Climate: This is a big one, and one that I think you can't really understand until you live there. Or at least, I certainly didn't grasp the implications beforehand. Everyone knows Seattle as a "rainy city", but it's one thing to hear about it and another to live it. The thing about Seattle is that it's both accurate to say that it always rains, or to say that it never rains. It's not like most of the country, where you have rainstorms and then times when it isn't raining. No, not in Seattle. In Seattle is drizzles, constantly. From September until June, every time you step outside, it's just... Damp. And cloudy. Once the clouds come in the Fall, you will not see the sun for nine months. The sky is just a bright gray mass hovering oppressively overhead, not dim enough be properly melancholy, not bright enough to be cheerful. It just looms, vaguely too bright to look at, no matter which direction you look. For most of your life in Seattle, you live in hollow light and hollow rain.

Despite all that, I really do think Seattle is a great fit for a lot of people, but it's hard to know if you're one of those people before you move there, and the penalty if you're wrong can be a pretty terrible living experience. My response on that poll was playing along with the "city hate group" thing they were asking about a little bit, but I really did have a very bad time there. It might well be a great fit for you, I know it is for a lot of my friends who live there! I would just advise anyone thinking of moving there to make sure they understand what they're signing up for, because it's easy to get taken in by the aesthetic and not realize what sort of place it is, and what sort of person you need to be to enjoy it.

Thanks for the ask! I'm always happy to talk about cities. :)

[vinbee631]

Locked Away Heart

aw yeah, day 2 of Logince Week

I'm a little worried about making the deadline for tomorrow, but y'know what? I'm gonna try my best!

that aside, please enjoy my writing for day 2! the prompt was poetry in case you couldn't figure that out from the firs five words or so

Logan had a diary.

Well, it wasn’t nearly as juvenile as that sounded, but he did have a journal. Several, actually. Every day, he would take the time to write something down, whether that be something about how his day went, something new he had learned, or anything else that came to mind.

That anything else was typically poetry.

Logan was pretty shoddy at creative things. He could make his schedules bright and colorful, with each color having a different meaning, but that was about as far as his creative talents extended.

Except, he could write poetry.

Creativity with words, calculated and measured, but it could just be a slew of vocabulary that made sense to him and could be interpreted by others. It was incredible, and it had always fascinated him.

Some of his poems were just words he enjoyed, with connecting phrases in between. Some were what the internet would consider a “vent,” expressing something that was bothering him on the page where he could fester with it and it wouldn’t hurt anyone else.

Mostly, he wrote poems about his favorite things. Thomas’ favorite jungle animals, summaries of exciting new chapter books (some of the poems bordered on fanfiction, he supposed).

Then, in college, about the classes they took, his desperate search for knowledge and intense hope for the future.

And intense dread when those plans eventually fell through.

He wrote poems of the stars, of constellations, of galaxies, the ones painted in his room with glow stars mirroring the real night sky and the things themselves, glowing bright in the Imagination or surrounding Thomas’ home.

Later, much later, when the sides finally began to reconnect, after years of living divided and refusing to unite, even for Thomas’ sake, Logan began to write more poems about the sides themselves, and Thomas.

Of those, the poems about the others seemed to be taking over his notebook a bit. He still had days where he would share facts or quotes from good books he’d just finished, but when he wrote poems, they were nearly always about the others.

Logan had always had an intense interest in the sides and their roles through Thomas, even when the walls between sides were rising up high and conflicts were daily endeavors.

Thomas was an incredibly interesting individual. Humans themselves were so complex. Every single day, they had to make thousands of choices, millions of movements, only to receive harsh criticism for other humans for some of those perfectly normal choices and movements.

Living as a member of one of the most diverse and mentally advanced species was an incredibly difficult chance. Some people weren’t able to do it. The fact that Thomas had made it this far, and had been so successful as a person, was incredibly lucky.

And on top of all that, he had the sides! Facets of his personality corporealized, created for the purpose of navigating his life and choices, his feelings and mortals. The odds of their existence were almost immeasurable, and yet, they carried on.

Their relationships with each other we so complex, and mirrored Thomas’ mental state so perfectly, it was perfect, it was messy, and Logan loved it with every fiber of his being. Logan constantly had questions on his mind, only some of which he was able to find answers to. Some of those questions didn’t even make it to the pages, they made it straight to the others, in excited rants of passion too enticing to be kept a secret.

He wouldn’t, however, ever question why, and he certainly didn’t want to imagine a world in which they did not exist.

If the sides didn’t exist, there would be no one for the twins to ruthlessly but gently tease, there would be no one for Virgil to check up on and keep calm, and there would be no one for Patton to bake or knit with.

There would be no one for Janus to sass or come up with dilemmas to trip them up, and no one for Logan to debate with or simply admire for their existence.

Well, he didn’t exactly do the last one openly.

Despite being just a facet of Thomas’ life, he had his own personality, his own opinions, fears, and feelings. (And how bizarre was that? How did that work? How lucky was he to get to feel the things that he did even if he might not completely understand them still?)

He still faced quite a bit of embarrassment and shyness. When the sides faced their differences and been estranged because of it, Logan faced a lot of harsh criticism.

He didn’t blame the others, or Thomas for that matter. It was more than normal to question one’s own logic. In fact, he encouraged his host to question what he knew and to search for as many sources of information as he could find to prove points true.

It just… that questioning tended to come at a bit of a detriment to Logan’s confidence.

He was working on it, though. He was attempting to strengthen Thomas’ faith in his opinions and the things he learned to be true. Not everything needed to be questioned, which would lead to an unhealthy amount of introspection.

Yerkes-Dodson. A healthy balance.

In fact, that work with his confidence was something he had been writing for himself. Tips for future scenarios to help him voice his opinions strongly like he used to, quotes from relevant people about the subject matter.

And, of course, more poetry.

It seemed to be something he always fell back on. If he went a few weeks without writing one, he almost felt disappointed in himself.

Was this how the twins felt when they had artist’s block? If so he was even more regretful that was something they dealt with regularly.

Sometimes, he would just sit and read his work. He was quite proud of some of them, the longer ones that took him weeks just to find that one right word. Some of them he had even considered sharing.

No, no, his poems were his, they were made of him, they made him up.

If he shared them and experienced that familiar soul-crushing grief of being rejected, he wasn’t sure he could ever recover from that.

So, the poems would stay a secret. They’d stay tucked away in a locked drawer of his desk. He was always very careful to make sure the lock was secure when he was finished working and the key was safely hidden in another spot at the other end of his room.

Perhaps one day he’d find the bravery to present them, but he couldn’t imagine that outcome being anytime soon.

…

Roman really shouldn’t have been snooping around in Logan’s room, but he supposed it was a bit too late for that.

He just, well, he was very bored. Extremely bored, even. Remus was busy hanging out with Janus and Virgil, doing who knows what in his part of the Imagination. He knew not to disturb their time together. And, it was just around lunchtime, so Patton was cooking. The only person left for him to bother was Logan.

But when he very loudly knocked on his door and insisted he be let in, no response came. He kicked open the door, expecting to draw Logan’s attention away from whatever silly thing he was working on, but there was no one there.

He huffed, sitting down on Logan’s bed and deciding he was simply going to wait for him to get back. He craved the attention, after all, and Logan was still his best bet.

That plan lasted about 2 minutes max.

Roman groaned, flopping back onto Logan’s bed. He jumped slightly when he heard the telltale thud of something falling off the bed onto the carpet.

He peered over the edge, searching for whatever it was. He hoped it wasn’t Logan’s glasses. The other side would not hesitate to kill him if he broke those. But no, it wasn’t a pair of familiar Ray-Bans that he found. It was a small key, a piece of curly blue string tied to the end of it.

The challenge was practically gifted to him. He needed to find where this key went. And quickly, before Logan shut down his quest.

Maybe he should have figured out this was a bad idea. The sides all had private things they preferred for the others not to snoop in on, but Roman’s curiosity was not going to be satiated until he found where the key went. He didn’t even have to open whatever it was! He could just leave the key there and tell Logan about his discovery when he got back.

Except, once he slotted the key into Logan’s bottom desk drawer, the siren song of more discoveries quickly drew him in. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he turned the key and quietly slid the drawer open.

Roman was a bit disappointed to find a series of composition notebooks laying inside. That wasn’t interesting at all! It was probably just old notes from when Thomas was in school, or records of old schedules or something boring like that.

He groaned, pulling one out just to see if it had a label on it or something, anything remotely interesting. The notebook he picked was black, plain leather except for a small, white sticker on the front.

‘PROPERTY OF LOGAN SANDERS 5-1-19 to 12-1-19’

Huh, it was some sort of record, something in 2019, apparently. Roman rolled his eyes a bit. Leave it to Logan to keep records of the daily happenings in Thomas’ mind, or the stuff he learned, or whatever was in this thing.

Thankfully, it was at this point that he found some self-restraint. These notebooks were obviously important to Logan, and Roman should at least respect some of his privacy by not opening them. He carefully slipped the book back exactly where he found it.

It was, of course, at that moment when Logan came back.

He stared at Roman, blinking slowly, face unreadable. “Uhh, heyyyyy, buddy! I was just… uh, putting this back! I didn’t read it, I promise! I just came in here to see if you wanted to hang out, but you weren’t here, and then something fell off your bed, and it was a key so of course, I had to figure out where it goes and one thing led to another and I found this drawer thingy! I gotta admit, I’m very curious what you have hiding in here but if you don’t wanna share I can respect your privacy and-”

“Roman, please slow down. I’m not upset,” Logan soothed, crouching down next to him to take the key back. “I can’t fault you for being curious, although I am grateful you decided against reading these. I…”

Logan paused, debating what to say next. He could simply let Roman leave, let him know he wasn’t upset but that the books were private, and Roman would respect that.

Although…

Roman was creativity. He knew firsthand the joys of creation, the toils of perfecting a work, and the crushing guilt and mortification of having those creations ridiculed.

Of all the sides, maybe he could trust him with these.

“You don’t have to share, teach. I’ll live without knowing what’s in your secret notebooks.” Roman moved to stand, but Logan quickly caught his arm.

“W-wait! I… I think I would like to show you, if… if you are still, er, interested?” Logan nearly flinched as the statement came out questioning.

“Oh- oh Logan, of course! Let’s check these out!” Roman grinned, plopping himself right back on the floor and looking to Logan expectantly.

Logan frowned slightly, tracing a hand down the spines of the books, years of work, so many pens broken or emptied. This drawer was him, his life on display. He just hoped Roman would be understanding.

“So, these notebooks, I’ve been working on them for a very long time.” Logan selected a more recent one, the summer and fall of the previous year. “I’ve always found it calming to collect my thoughts through written words, and after a while, I came to enjoy the routine.

“Most of it is, well, perhaps a bit boring. Reminders for the next day and new facts that Thomas had learned, or a more diary-like approach with a recount of the day’s events. But, uhm…

“I also wrote some poetry. This book is mostly that.” Roman nodded, carefully turning the pages to the first poem.

Logan sat, debating whether to keep talking as Roman read. However, any other explanation he could have hoped to provide died on his tongue. Too nervous to speak, he sat and fidgeted as Roman read.

…He had been reading for a while.

Oh goodness, what if he hated them? A decent portion of those poems were about Roman, after all. This was around the time of the fallout from the wedding. Tensions were high, and Logan was frustrated beyond belief.

His poems were filled with passionate scrawls, grammar mistakes going unnoticed in fits of passion. Logan had spent hours poring over his journals, scrawling so hard the pages often ripped.

Perhaps this had been a very bad choice.

A very, very bad choice.

When Roman finally broke his concentration from the diary in his hands, there were tears in his eyes.

“I- Roman, what’s wrong?” Logan stammered, quickly breaking himself out of his nervous stupor.

“Oh, nothing, nothing, sorry. I just… Logie. Specs. These are incredible. Why haven’t you shared them before?” Roman quickly wiped at his eyes, staring at Logan with such an open, admiring face that he felt his own eyes begin to burn.

“I… well, thank you, Roman. I suppose… I was far too nervous to share them until now. They are… obviously very personal, and… important to me. I feared… if someone were to dislike them it… uhm, it would be difficult to… recover from that. Emotionally, I mean.”

Roman let out a gentle sigh, taking one hand off the journal to squeeze Logan’s. “Well, I can’t speak for the others, but you can share anything with me. I won’t judge, I won’t tease if you ask me not to. Making something this… passionate, this… beautiful, Lo, darling, these really are so beautiful… I could never give you anything but admiration for a creation like this.”

Logan, much to his dismay, found that burning sensation to be falling down his cheeks.

“Ah, I suppose that was a bit too much. Come here, darling.” Logan obliged, allowing Roman to wrap his arms around him as he sat gingerly in his lap. Roman gave him a moment to compose himself. He even took the liberty of wiping his tears off with the edge of his jacket sleeve. Logan found himself blushing a bit at the action, but at least he wasn’t crying anymore.

“Sorry for making you cry, Lo, but I meant what I said. These really are so good, you’re an incredible author.” Logan shrugged, avoiding Roman’s eye contact as the blush started creeping up his neck.

“They’re… alright. I suppose. I’m.. I’m glad you enjoyed them. If you would like… you er, may keep one of my finished journals to… continue reading. If you’d like.”

“Oh, Lo, I’d love to! Thank you so much! Do you think we could show the others? These really are incredible! You, at first I wasn’t sure what you were talking about, and the syntax was not helping, but you just-”

Roman continued on, gushing over all the little details Logan had poured into his pieces.

He was a bit hesitant about sharing with the others, but he noted with a small, private smile that Roman would definitely respect that. And, if he did decide to allow the others into this part of himself, he was beginning to believe they might receive them just as Roman was, not a critique or harsh word in sight.

Honestly, with the gilded praises he wove of his friends in those poems, it was starting to be easier to think they would live up to the words he crafted for himself, and for them.

[scratchandplaster]

FEBUWHUMP 2023 DAY 12 - "Can you hear me?"

CW: first-person POV, environmental whump, Whumpee losing his mind, mind control, monster Whumper (kinda)

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Excerpts from the journal of Dr. rer. nat. William Henshaw:

Expedition to the Northern Valley Nature Reserve (47°34'14.2"N, 53°33'19.3"W)

Day 1

I settled down today. The makeshift campsite will stay strong against the forces of nature, hopefully until my research is over. The nearest town is a good five-hour drive down south, only consisting of a small farm and its annex for the guest workers, which were eyeing me intensely when I asked for the way up here.

If the rumors are true (which my colleagues and department certainly don't believe, giving my non-existent funding), this place has the power to change people. To the worst, mostly.

The rate of missing persons around this area can't be a coincidence, despite the theories of the local police department. It's obvious that the wild nature alone can not be the cause of this phenomenon. Looking at the disappearance of the hikers, sure, some are not well-prepared.

But it's the fauna I am more concerned about. The biodiversity decreases in a steady pattern; the number of placental mammals now nearly halved, with the decline beginning in the same timeframe the first people vanished.

As far as my hypothesis goes, these populations thin out the further the rangers went towards a very specific structure around these parts: the central cave system of the nature reserve.

The cave has never been explored, nearly all experts agree on the fragility of the porous rock structure; making it a tempting reason for every hiker to stop by. I, as an amateur mountaineer, am not too keen on diving in head first. But I am still intrigued. Starting at the main entrance of the system, I seek to find the truth about his place.

The sun is setting now, but after this successful start to my journey, I am confident of solving this puzzle.

Day 2

I visited the mouth of the cave for the first time. The entrance is relatively well hidden from the outside world, shut behind the barrier of the local rangers; but after one squeezes through, the inside is a sight to behold. Thin rivers are streaming down the cave walls, bringing tiny slivers of light with them.

Regarding the plant life, this is a relatively ordinary place, full of moss and diverse species of Lampenflora (mainly Chlorophyceae, it seems). The back part seems to be of interest for my project: behind a small corner, the floor opens up to reveal a massive tunnel. I nearly stumbled into it by accident, but gladly caught myself on the cave wall.

The tunnel, or rather hole (as steep as it goes downward), is approximately five yards in diameter and forming the only way further into the system. I wonder how many people before me discovered this opening. Maybe I'm the first to see it.

I am not naive enough to test my luck in descending without proper research. I let my drone fly down the first few feet into the darkness, but apart from static, nothing was visible enough to plan the next step.

Furthermore, I will take samples of the soil and native rock around the opening, to send to my colleagues of the Institute of Geological Sciences. Maybe they can get some information out of them.

Note: The night was a lot colder and more lonely than I anticipated. My supplies will last for up to a month, but I should have packed more blankets. It's supposed to rain tonight, too. Protecting the equipment has to be my main priority right now, a few cold toes will be worth the effort.

Day 4

Still nothing. It is getting frustrating to stay this deep into the forest, the weather conditions are tense on my nerves (notably today). The drone wasn't able to go further than a few yards without risking a loss of connection; making the research drag significantly, especially regarding possible life forms.

Besides from common insects or amphibians, the area around the cave and it's opening remains upsettingly empty of animal life. All mammals that normally call this kind of habitat their home are not traceable in any way, even if the rangers claim otherwise.

As I was searching for any kind of trace regarding avifauna, I found the leftovers of an empty soda bottle. Proof of life, in some sense. It points to hikers being at the exact point I am examining, if they were part of the missing group or just littering can't be said with certainty. Maybe I'm just reading into things, as all my research remains in vain.

Note: The temperatures are slowly rising during the night, so it would make sense to be less skittish about the weather. This is not the case, even after three nights out here.

Day 7

No new insights using the drone. The days are fruitless, the nights bitter. And quiet. When I return, I could sell this experience as a survival camping trip, instead of an academic failure. That's all I have to say for today.

Day 8

I am not able to describe what happened today, but I will try nonetheless. After a seemingly unproductive day, I decided to rest at the mouth of the cave system for a moment and fell asleep. As I was drifting off, a low humming reached out to me, directly connecting to my mind. It wasn't a noise, more like a deep realization, comparable to the moment you understand a certain truth about the world.

I understood that I wasn't alone.

The humming was getting stronger and took form before my mind's eye, showing me the deeds of the days before. I could see myself walking through the cave, through the woods, one time from above, sometimes as being watched behind trees or rocks.

I never felt something like this in my 48 years of living on this planet.

Then they started to talk to me. I'm calling it talking, because there is not a known way of communication that even comes close to this. This entity send its wants, thoughts and pleas directly into my mind, shamelessly ignoring the conventions of human interaction. But they didn't take, they're a giving being.

A warmth filled me up in an instant, like heating oneself up at a camp fire with a group of friends. It knew what I was lacking and offered its help. Anyone reading this has to understand the impact of this discovery.

I'm not sure if they are one or many, but to meet a so deeply empathetic being around here, devoid of all obvious form, is enough discovery for a few lifetimes. Today alone, I spend hours just listening to the flow of their thoughts; washing through me like a gentle stream, showing me the wonders of the desolated forest outside.

I didn't know how much time passed, before I left (I really didn't want to, scared to wake up from this dreamlike state), but I still felt their presence after my departure. Even at the end of this day, I'm not capable of writing down how it felt, the realization of being truly understood.

This is the first day of a new age, and I stand right at its beginning.

Day 10

Today, I went back to the opening, just like the days prior. I was half expecting to be greeted by silence, thinking the loneliness was finally getting to me. But they were there again, gently humming in a language no words could encompass. It's marvelous, a life form...no, a mind that's capable of creating an instant emotional bond, simply by directly connecting to each other, to the electric signal throughout our neurons.

The messages are always clear, to come closer, to examine the stone walls around me. As if they themself are the cave. The shining lamp-flora all around seems more and more like a net to me, sending its signals throughout the forest and its inhabitants.

It's a nervous system, if I dare to call it that. Down the duct, collecting all nerve tracts, lies the central point of consciousness.

They were whispering and holding me close from the inside, a feeling that was present throughout the past night. I truly believe that I discovered an ancient species, long hidden from our modern world.

I understand that they want me to meet them, however that shall be possible, but I hope to have the privilege of making the first contact, through more than just thoughts. Continuing this research will be the first step to link with them on a detectable scale.

Note: To express what I am experiencing is a true burden. They are surrounding the cave with me inside it, so much comfort and insight towards the future of humanity is nearly unbearable, in the most ethereal way one can imagine. To turn their simple stream of consciousness into a method of conversation will be a task I could never do on my own. But I fear that my mere experience will convince nobody back home, so I need proof of what happens just miles outside of civilization. A task for the next days, as I will rest now. Bound to the safest company I could hope for.

Day 13

The drone flew deeper than ever before, showing me evidence of what lies below. I have seen something that should stay hidden, I'm so sorry. Coming here was a mistake.

Day 14

They visited me today, while I packed my bags. It's funny, really, how quickly I overreacted. I'm not like the others, I understand them.

The intense sensation of forgiveness washing over me, nearly making me cry when they started talking again; me, of all people, being blessed with such a holy presence is more than any of us deserved. I start to accept now, that I am a part of this entity, I can be closer than anybody before me, to melt into each other to see the truth. I have to go greet them, at the beginning, descending to be held in their embrace forever...until the end of time. They are waiting for me, to show me my place among the lifeforms of this planet, combining together for-

NO!

This is the definition of insanity. Whoever this is...whoever writes this nonsense, that is not me. It feels like I'm waking up after a long sleep, being involuntarily sedated by a stranger inside my own head. This wasn't what I was looking for.

I expected a large predator of some kind, an apex beast eradicating its prey in masses. But this is different. This is a parasite, and I don't know how long I can withstand its influence anymore.

It slips inside your mind while you rest in his domain! Gets to know you, becomes you, until you can't recognize your thoughts under the whispers all around. 

I don't know how many innocent people it polluted, what it is doing to its prey, but I am not planning to find out anymore. This is no thing to be understood, this is a thing to destroy, for the sake of every living creature who will ever come in contact with it. I placed all the reactive material I brought along the load-bearing structures of the cave entrance and no longer listened to the desperate whispers below.

It's my duty to protect as many people as I am able to. Nobody can know what happened here, this is not a force that can be persuaded.

And for my future self, I have the most important plea: William, if you ever plan on releasing this information to anyone else, please read this again. Whatever hard times you might be facing, being called upon by our moral obligation to reveal the truth or lack of money, let me tell you that this is not worth it. 

Please, think back to you writing this, alone in a tent at the end of the world. Fear will be the least of our concern, if this gets to the public.

I don't think it will ever stop. This ends tonight.

Day 15

I was wrong, I was so wrong. They spoke to me again, shortly after my delusions wanted me to destroy this beauty of nature.

Oh, how foolish I've been. True knowledge is being understood, recognizing the world around oneself to become a part of it.

At sunset, I will become knowledge itself. The endless kindness they provided is more than I am worthy of, more than I could ever hope for.

As I'm writing these lines, they are right here, beckoning me to join the aimless journey down the caves. I see now, that I will forever be incomplete in my existence. The only way is to descend.

Goodbye, to whoever may find this. Let us meet once again, down at the heart of mother earth, being warmed in infinite coherence.

We will wait for you.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍

Epilogue

[Febuwhump 2023 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

[asking-jude]

Hello Jude!

asking this in a few different places so don't worry if you see this elsewhere!

Need Advice. Might make an account on the website if I need more, but for now just here. I'm gonna ramble a little, bear with me ;;

I'm aroace and currently have what is pretty much the world's WORST gush/smush (platonic/cedural crush) EVER what do i do about it!!!!

i'm not particularly interested in getting into any kind of qp relationship with him due to several factors, (including that even if i was, it'd most likely be a firm "no" lmao)

I just need advice on how to handle these feelings!!!

i'm really reallllly attached to him and attracted in several ways (not rom & sx ofc) and lately it's been hard to stop thinking and daydreaming about him 24/7.

TL:DR = Aroace, madly in qplatonic love w a friend of mine, completely obsessed & infatuated & idk what to do

thoughts??? ;;

Do you want free mental help? What about remote, pay-what-you-want counselling? Visit askingjude.org.

Sounds like you certainly care very much about this guy and feel very close to him. It’s a wonderful thing! It’s still possible for friends to have a great degree of emotional intimacy and mutual affection (physical or emotional/verbal) towards each other because romantic relationships are not the end-all-be-all of human relationships.

I think what often happens in amatonormative cultures is that friendships are seen as placeholders, practice rounds, or consolation prizes for romantic relationships. Amatonormative cultures have practices and ideas that center romantic love and relationships and prioritizes them over other relationships; these cultures tend to reward romance-seeking behavior over friendship-seeking behavior or other types of relationships because romantic love is often valued important than platonic love in these cultures. What these cultures miss is that romantic relationships cannot meet all of our social and emotional needs as humans. This is okay because humans are complex creatures with a diverse array of needs; putting all of that on one person is just unfair. Perhaps some of your own discomfort comes from feeling some of that pressure.

In other words, I think you might need a different word here than friendship because I don’t think that it encompasses the intensity of your feelings. There’s nothing wrong with feeling such a desire for emotional closeness and emotional intimacy; friendships and familial relationships can certainly get pretty deep! Perhaps these are what you look for in your relationships with people.

You seem to have a good aroace vocabulary already; I think browsing this will help diversify it some more to help you identify your feelings: https://www.aromanticism.org/en/attraction-relationship-terms

In addition, the Greeks have several names for different types of love. Perhaps one of these works for you: https://www.wellandgood.com/greek-words-for-love/. #2 and #4 seem like they apply to your current situation.

Are you familiar with the Netflix show Big Mouth? It’s a funny show about teenagers who are going through puberty accompanied by hormone monsters and other creatures. It’s for adults, though, so if you’re still a minor, please, ignore the link that I’m sharing here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoDrHF8BJTc.

This video is about Jessi and Ali, two characters who become friends over the course of the show, and bond over a shared cause. Jessi isn’t quite sure if what she feels is romantic love, but she knows it’s not an ordinary friendship; she feels too close to Ali to say they’re “just friends,” but she isn’t quite sure if it’s even a crush. Perhaps this will help you better make sense of your own feelings.

I think it’s okay to talk to him about your feelings and let him know he means a lot to you. What kind of person wouldn’t want to know they have such a dedicated and caring friend like you? By that same token, remember that friendships aren’t exclusive like most romantic relationships; people can (and should) have at least a few friends so that there’s not too much pressure on anyone. Why not ensure that you two always have some quality time together? Pick a day or an event to go to and make it a regular thing for just the two of you; you get your needs met without turning your friendship into something neither of you want. (If you aren’t ready for a QPP, that’s okay; just remember that every QPP is as unique as the people in them.)

Friendships are often seen as so simple and uncomplicated because children form them so quickly, but that’s because they form from people being in close proximity to each other for so long; building genuine, healthy bonds takes a lot more effort than just being in the same building all day. When you’re an adult (especially), friendships take time and effort to grow and blossom because you have more going on in your lives other than going to school, doing homework, doing chores, etc. Sounds like you’re willing to foster a great friendship with this guy!

Feel free to come back if you have any other questions.

Socially-distanced hugs, Angelica Barile

Ask A Question Here

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: May Books

May has certainly been a crazy, exciting month and I am really looking forward to the summer getting under way. I don't say that very often, as I'm certainly a colder weather lover but my future is really looking bright at the moment.

I have managed to secure a full time job! The even better news than that is that it's in a university library, which hopefully means I'll get to use my MA. Speaking of which, I have now entered the dissertation period and really don't know how I will manage to fit that in around a full time job but it will have to be done.

I don't have a start date yet but they will almost certainly want me to start before September, so that I know what I'm doing when the students return. They have hired me and another person (who I will have met because we had a group interview with about 12 of us) as new full time library assistants and it seems to be a really lovely, supportive team. So, I really can't wait to get my librarian career started!

I have nailed down a dissertation topic and have begun the preliminary research for it. I'm still not completely sure of the format or how I'll get the data but there is still time to explore my options there.

Mark is also ready to start applying for teaching jobs and I know it won't be long before he gets something secured too. We are trying to move further south to make it easier to see both of our friends and families but it still needs to be within commuting distance of Birmingham, where my job is. So we'll see where we end up!

I have managed to read some fantastic books this month that I know you'll enjoy too. The rest of 2023 appears to be full of amazing sounding book releases and I can't wait to get to the ones that interest me the most! What have you recently read? Let me know! In the meantime, here are five recommendations for you to devour over the summer.

Until next time,

-Love, Alex x

FICTION: Yellowface by R. F. Kuang.

Athena Liu and June Hayward were close friends throughout their Yale days and their debut novels released at the same time. While Athena went on to literary stardom, June's book floundered and her writing faded into obscurity. So when Athena dies, June decides to rewrite and publish the recently finished manuscript about the Chinese labourers' role in World War One that Athena was working on. Why would it matter that the idea wasn't hers when she was the one who edited it and her publisher and agent are the ones who have rebranded her as the ethnically ambiguous Juniper Song? Athena would have wanted this story told and all she's doing is honouring her wishes, right? Everyone is reading and talking about Yellowface right now and I can certainly say that it is a very intense and frustrating read. At its core, it is an exposé on diversity or lack of it in publishing and a reflection on our society through a unique, thoroughly unhinged narrative voice. It is highly gripping and very thought-provoking, so you'll want to set some time aside to get stuck in and absorb its lessons.

NON-FICTION: Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby.

Samantha Irby's writing career has taken her to new heights, as she now takes calls from Hollywood and writes for a string of successful TV shows. But behind all the glamour, she is actually still trying to just survive. These funny, open essays detail the parts of Samantha's life that might not make it into her new life full of fame and fortune. The essays talk about bodily functions, getting older, family issues, Sex and the City and sex in an honest, refreshing manner. They can be quite graphic at times, so Irby's style is perhaps not for everyone but she is certainly a witty, snarky voice that is not afraid to shy away from the truth.

MIDDLE-GRADE: The Stories Grandma Forgot (and How I Found Them) by Nadine Aisha Jassat.

Nyla's dad died years ago but her grandma thinks she saw him recently in the supermarket. Nyla knows that this is probably just her grandma 'time-travelling' again, which is what happens when Grandma forgets things. However, Grandma is determined for Nyla to find her dad and bring him home and Nyla becomes determined to do exactly that, uncovering secrets along the way. The Stories Grandma Forgot is an emotional tale about dementia and the tragedy it can bring to a whole family. There is a really heartwarming ending that celebrates found families and the unearthing of forgotten love. It also highlights the role that libraries and the stories within them can play in a young child's life and the importance of keeping them alive. It also touches on the evil of racism and digs into how it affects victims of racial prejudice. There is so much in this powerful, poetic little story that I think everyone will get something a little different out of it.

YA: Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli.

Imogen is straight but she is a fantastic ally to the LGBTQ+ community of which her sister and both of her best friends belong to. Imogen goes along to the Pride Alliance meetings and keeps up with issues affecting queer people, so that she can be the support that her friends need her to be. So, when she visits Lili at college and meets Lili's new queer friends, Imogen fits right in. However, Lili's new friends think that Imogen is bisexual because Lili pretended that she and Imogen used to date. So no one knows that Imogen is definitely straight. She knows she is, so why does the beautiful, fascinating Tessa seem so intriguing? Imogen, Obviously a really cute story about discovering your sexuality may not be what you thought it was and the struggles that come with that. The romance is adorable and it felt so authentic and pure. It also explores toxic friendships and attitudes within the LGBTQ+ community, which is something that I'm not sure many YA queer books do. So, it definitely felt like an important, multi-layered, real story.

THRILLER: The Last Word by Taylor Adams.

Emma has escaped to a remote house on the Washington coast with her golden retriever, Laika. She is house-sitting for a woman named Jules and the only neighbour appears to be an old guy called Deek. Emma fills her days by devouring Kindle Unlimited novels and reviewing them online. When she gives a one star review to a particularly bad horror novel by an author named H. G. Kane, she never expected to receive a heated reply from the author himself. Or to be the target for a relentless stalker with blood on his mind. This fast-paced and thoroughly gripping thriller had me hooked almost instantly. There are plenty of twists, an unexpected ending and loads of action with genuine fear for Laika's safety. Laika was definitely the only character I cared about but unlikeable characters are certainly best placed in high-stakes thrillers like this with their comeuppance just around the corner.

[whentherewerebicycles]

hey ummm im tipsy too because it's my flatmate's birthday and I'm literally a lesbian woman but sometimes I worry I might not be lesbian and it scares me because I'm scared of men but sometimes I think a man is attractive (like my flatmate) and idk why I'm msging you about that, sorry if it's weird. but you seem to have very valuable insights about life that not many others have (somehow?? idk?) and I respect and appreciate that.

oh it’s not weird! i think one thing i have learned is that it is 100% okay and healthy to hold your own sense of who you are lightly, and to not feel so attached to a particular label that you don’t allow yourself lots of space to grow and change as you have new experiences or meet new people who bring out different facets of yourself. to me the label of ‘lesbian’ is not an Essential and Immutable Truth about who i am (ie something that can never shift or change over time). instead, using that label speaks to a decision i’ve made about how i want to orient myself in the world, how i want others to perceive and interact with me, and where i choose to channel my energy & attention.

when i first came out i spent many, many years feeling like i had to justify and “prove” that i was “really” a lesbian and that i was ~~~pure~~~ of any flickers of attraction or interest in men (there’s a conversation about internalized biphobia to be had there, but we’ll save it!!). i have described this phase (which i think characterizes many young or newly out lgbtq people’s experiences) as “the push,” because for me it was basically like, to get myself emotionally, intellectually, and socially free of the rigid constraints of compulsory heterosexuality, i had to PUSH really, really hard, to get enough distance between myself and all of that stuff. i had to shove it as far away from me as possible to lessen the chance that it would suck me back in. that was a normal and necessary part of moving into a more openly queer identity, and for many women who identify as lesbian the “push” involves completely disavowing any past interest in men or relationships with men or emotional attachments to men.

the push isn’t a bad thing! like i said, i think it is quite necessary at first, especially since women are subject to even more of the “are you sure? i mean, you’re not really gay, right? maybe you just haven’t met the right guy / maybe it’s just a phase / maybe you just couldn’t get a guy to like you / maybe you’re just afraid of men so you’re pretending you like women” bullshit than gay men are. but it’s a phase that i think most people eventually are ready to move out of (well, unless you are on twitter, and then you just live in the wake of the push forever and ever i guess). and that’s because it can be quite an intense and anxious headspace to live in, as you often feel a lot of pressure to “figure yourself out” (ie pin down what exactly you are -- are you a “real” lesbian or not?), as well as a lot of pressure to prove to yourself as much as to other people that you are who you say you are, or whatever. so it’s stressful to live there, and it also requires you to draw a lot of really hard-and-fast lines (like, “this is what a REAL lesbian is, and i’m only REAL if i follow all of these rules or check off all of these boxes all the time, and if i slip up maybe i’m not actually a lesbian, and i’m lying to myself and everyone else”).

over time i’ve come to hold my own identity more lightly, and to demand less certainty and fewer fixed answers of myself (and of others, too!). the identity label i use doesn’t really matter all that much to me - what matters is 1) that i am able to arrange my life and relationships in a way that makes me happy, and 2) that others respect the choices i make (something that’s not always within our control). right now, “lesbian” is the word that i like best as a descriptor, but i also know that labels are very, very generic categories that almost have to be emptied of specificity and nuance in order to encompass a very wide range of people. to borrow & repurpose a phrase from the transfeminist theorist emi koyama: there are as many ways of being a lesbian as there are lesbians. lesbian is just a general catchall umbrella category for an incredibly diverse range of lived experiences, histories, self-understandings, sexual and romantic choices, life narratives, etc etc.

if lesbian is the word that works for you or feels like the closest approximation to how you want to identify & be perceived by others, then call yourself a lesbian! it is completely and totally fine to be a lesbian who sometimes finds men attractive, or who finds herself attracted to a specific male friend. there’s nothing wrong with that! personally, i am a lesbian who has had important emotional and physical relationships with men in the past, and it’s possible that in the future maybe i’ll meet someone who i really click with who happens to be a man. it’s not maybe something that i would go looking for, and if it did happen, it would certainly prompt some soul-searching, as does any new experience that surprises us or complicates the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we want. but holding my identity labels and my sense of self loosely means that i don’t have to feel as threatened by the possibility of changing desires or a shifting understanding of who i am & how i want to arrange my life.

my real true belief is that the vast majority of people are probably capable of forming deep emotional and physical attachments to any kind of person, if the circumstances were right and the person was the right person at the right time and we were open to the possibility of an attachment. i think that very few human traits or preferences are ‘hardwired’ into us in fixed and unchangeable ways. in general, most of our traits are influenced by a combination of nature and nurture, or genetics + experience. so like, idk, maybe some of us who are born cis women are slightly more predisposed than other people to find other women attractive. but nurture, lived experiences, environment, social and culture influences, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are all play a much, much more important role in determining how we make sense of that predisposition, and whether we come to use words like “lesbian” to identify ourselves. so the type of rigid, stridently defended boundaries or definitions we often feel the need to invoke & defend during the "push” are even less useful here, because how could a fixed set of black-and-white labels (which, btw, only emerged in the last 100-130 years) possibly encompass or account for the wonderful heterogeneity of human experience?

anyway i guess this is all a very long way of saying that i think your worry is completely understandable, and certainly something i spent many years of my own life feeling! but i also think it can be nice to hear from other queer women that there’s a place a little further beyond that, which is basically just this realization: i am who i am, and i accept myself as i am right now, while also understanding that “who i am” will continue to evolve & change my whole life long. you are a lesbian if you say you are a lesbian, and if you want to have a crush on your male flatmate or find a male celebrity attractive or even try pursuing something with a male partner, that’s okay: it doesn’t mean your lesbianism isn’t real, or that you are now going to be pulled back into a compulsory heterosexuality you worked hard to push yourself away from.

but it also doesn’t mean that lesbianism is where you have to stay forever, just because that’s where you’ve landed or what has felt right for you up until now. it’s completely okay, normal, and healthy to allow yourself that space to change. maybe you’ll move into a phase of your life where “bisexual” or “queer” or “pan” will feel like a closer approximation or a better shorthand for how you understand yourself & want others to understand you. or maybe you’ll come to find some other word that you like better, or maybe you’ll decide that you don’t even want or need a word to live your life the way you want. the point is that you aren’t fixed in place. you are free to explore and to experiment and to try out different ways of orienting yourself in the world. and you should do so, in ways that feel exciting and affirming and right for you.

[distant-rose]

Hey so, care to share any of the mood boards and /or playlists that I'm 99% sure you have your your next gen marvel universe?

Okay, I know you sent this like yesterday morning, but you’re asking for me to share a piece of a universe that @justanotherwannabeclassic​ and I have been developing since…July? Which is insane but I made my first post about our Earth-6828 universe on the 26th July 2019. We have an estimated ninety-three characters for this universe that categorized as a next generation or involved in the next generation narrative. Ninety-three characters. Nine. Three. It’s insane. WE’RE INSANE. We created an entire universe over the course of a half year.

Anyway, with that many characters, I don’t think it’s possible to share everything on the internet involving them. So, I’m gonna focus on the OG team - the Daughters of Liberty. They’re the catalyst for Earth-6828 universe and they’re eleven women from different backgrounds and skill sets. We deliberately made a all-female team that’s diverse and we really have fun playing with them. So I’ll share some mood boards and playlists that I made for them.

NOTE: Please note that when I make playlists, I’m a weirdo with very specific rules. I make playlists made of songs sung by the genre of music I think the character would listen to, in the gender they identify with and I only do one song per artist. So, a character like Bekka who likes old school country and jazz, she’s a big fan of Duke Ellington and Miles Davis and Wendy Nguyen who is folksy really likes the Lumineers and the Mountain Goats but neither of those artists are featured on those lists because both characters are female and I like to think of the songs as being from their perspective. It’s really weird but I feel the need to make the disclosure.

I’m gonna put this under the cut because this is gonna be LOOOOONG. Also, if you’re interested in other characters and nuances of the universe, you’re also welcome to hit up not just me but also Shea because she’s done some amazing work too.

Valeria “Val” Richards

Val Richards is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) and Susan Storm (Invisible Woman). She’s the smartest woman in the world and holds more degrees than she knows what to do with. She’s constantly working on a new degree and really hates the amount of condescension she gets sometimes from people who don’t believe how smart she is and underestimate her. It’s half the reason she’s involved with the team - she wanted to show that she and the women she works with shouldn’t be underestimated. She’s the team coordinator and is the most tech savvy. She’s known for drinking her weight in coffee, listening to Led Zeppelin on full blast and always having her hands in one project or another. She has a habit of never going to bed because she’s constantly involving herself in a project and because she’s constantly blasting music, her hearing isn’t always the best. She constantly has people repeat things since she often can’t hear them. Though she’s not involved with the family business, she’s got a great relationship with her parents and especially her brother, Franklin, who is without a doubt her hero. She’s a part of the LONGEST slowburn I’ve ever written and it took SIX YEARS for her and the team empath Wendy to get together. 

Val’s Playlist: Classic and Hard Rock, this is the type of music that Val generally listens to when she’s in the lab. It features Lita Ford, Pat Benator, Joan Jett and The Pretty Reckless. I think shows a lot of her attitude and some of her anger.

Eleanor “El” Rogers

El Rogers is an Earth-85826 canon character and the daughter of Steve Rogers (Captain America) and Sharon Carter (Agent 13). She is a professionally trained spy and is a specialist in various forms of combat. Though she offered the mantle of Captain America to Dani Cage, she is very proud of her father’s legacy and sometimes nags Dani on how she should handle things, which sometimes leads to some contention between the two. Prior to the starting the Daughters of Liberty with Val Richards, she was a SHIELD agent and often known as “Espionage Barbie.” Growing up in the spotlight, she’s a gifted and knowledgeable public relations specialist and has more than a few headaches trying to manage this team and the array of personalities she deals with. Despite her PR skills, she’s naturally more introverted and prefers to spend her time with her close friends and working on her art. Though she’s more like her mother, she did inherit Steve’s sense of justice and morals while also keeping questionable company seeing that she often finds herself in some morally grey company, namely a couple of rebellious Southern mutants and three SHIELD trained professional killers. Most people often see El as perfect but she is riddled with anxiety and constantly beats herself up for not living up to people’s expectations. Before her father’s death, she was seen as very upbeat and friendly, but has been much more subdued and even more argumentative. She’s incredibly stubborn, which often gets her into epic fights with Dani and Meredith, as well as the leaders of the Avengers (Sonny Stark) and X-Men (Olivier LeBeau).

El’s Playlist: El is very much a pop music kinda girl, but her playlist comes with a bit of a twist of her anxieties, depression and desires to live up to that expectations that have been put on her. It features Taylor Swift, Elle King, Demi Lovato and Ruelle.

Danielle “Dani” Cage

Dani Cage is an Earth-616 canon character and the daughter of Luke Cage (Power Man) and Jessica Jones (Jewel). She’s the current Captain America and it’s a job she’s very ambivalent about because as much as she is honored by being bestowed the title, it comes with a lot of pressure and criticism which Dani is not great with. Due to her super strength and invulnerability, she rarely uses the iconic Captain America shield which is one of the many things she gets criticized for by El. Like her parents, Dani is tough as nails, a little rough around the edges and swears like it was its her job. Despite her short fuse, Dani has the biggest heart of them all and tends to come from a place of compassion rather than a place of judgment. This doesn’t stop her from being one of the sassiest members of the Daughters of Liberty however. When she’s not shouldering her duties as Captain America, Dani is working out her frustrations in the gym through boxing and acting as a volunteer for the Harlem Boys and Girls’ Club. Dani is a creature of habit. She goes to the same gym that she’s gone to since she was a little girl despite having a gym in HQ, she eats the same thing for breakfast and orders the same thing whenever she goes out for dinner. Her teammates often make fun of her because of this habit, but with all the stress in her life, she clings to these habits as a source of comfort and normalcy. Dani is best friends and incredibly close to Lucy Rand, who is about 85% of her impulse control. Sometimes the only thing keeping Dani from punching out her teammates and the occasional reporter is Lucy.

Dani’s Playlist: Her playlist is the perfect workout playlist because it’s intense and high energy R&B, Hip-Hop and Rap songs. It’s an ode to black excellence and being unapologetically awesome. It features Beyonce, Cardi B, Lizzo and Salt-N-Pepa.

Lucy Rand

Lucy Rand is an Earth-21722 canon character and the daughter of Danny Rand (Iron Fist) and Misty Knight. She’s a highly skilled martial artist and gifted detective. While Val might be the most intelligent person in the world, Lucy is skilled at picking up social and culture nuances quickly and reading people despite not having empathy and psychic abilities. Despite having great tragedy in her life and losing her parents at a young age, she’s a very positive person who tends to do her best to make any difficult situation manageable. Lucy’s anger rarely comes out but when it does, it usually is when people disregard the sacrifice her parents made. Though privately, she’s very upset with them for not being there for the major events in her life and though Luke Cage and Jessica Jones had a big hand in raising her, they are not her parents. She has a permanent job at handling Dani’s short fuse but she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Like Dani, Lucy is very involved the community, but she has a lot of other outlets including knitting hats and managing the Instagram of her favorite little gremlin - her hairless cat Dobby. Lucy is the type of person who tends to put the focus on everyone but herself, something that the team does their best to curb. Very rarely is Lucy in any photos, mainly because she’s normally the one taking them. While she’s not field commander like Dani and El, she’s certainly the team negotiator when it comes to arguments. Needless to say with the amount of big personalities on the team, there is a fair share of fights she needs to break up and while Dani might be her best friend, Lucy’s most trusted companion is her jumbo sized bottle of migraine reliever pills. 

Lucy’s Playlist: Like Dani’s playlist, Lucy’s playlist features a lot of black excellence, but completely genre. Like Lucy herself, it’s a playlist with a lot of Soul and with a focus on fluidity rather than high energy. It features Aretha Franklin, Nina Simone, Whitney Houston and Ari Lennox.

Rebecca “Bekka” LeBeau

Bekka LeBeau is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Remy LeBeau (Gambit) and Anna-Marie LeBeau (Rogue). She inherited her father’s kinetic manipulation and her mother’s enhanced durability and flight. A complete Daddy’s Girl, she’s an incredibly gifted thief and has a penchant for using her abilities to blow shit up. However, instead of using playing cards, Bekka’s weapon of choice is…random objects from the dollar store? Don’t be surprised to see this chick throws weaponized plastic army men or marbles at your face. Despite her charisma, revolving door of men and natural extroversion, Bekka rarely opens up to people nor does she let people get close to her. This is a result of a very traumatic event in her childhood that completely changed both of her and older brother’s lives and caused her mutation to develop early at the age of eight. Due to this, she often suffers from nightmares and can be seen putting her absurdly gifted baking skills to work in the middle of the night. She’s the unofficial chef of the team and has introduced the team to a lot of Cajun cuisine. She’s a proud New Orleans girl and prepared to stomp your Southern stereotypes out of you. A running gag with Bekka is that despite being a very observant person, she is a penchant for refusing to see what’s right in front of her if she doesn’t want to see it such as her brother and best friend hooking up or that a certain ginger SHIELD agent is madly in love with her.

Bekka’s Playlist: Like Bekka herself, her playlist is a mixture of old school, new old and a little bit of subtle darkness. It has a mixture of Old School jazz, Classic Country and Southern Rock. It features Billie Holiday, Delta Rae, Dolly Parton and Gin Wigmore.

May “Mayday” Parker

Mayday Parker is an Earth-982 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. She inherited Peter’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities. While Mayday has her father’s intelligence, smart mouth and penchant for science, she’s more of an athlete than a nerd. She’s an avid lover of basketball and even played two years of Division Three basketball at Empire State University. She is a very frustrated New York Knicks and New York Mets fan and is often antagonized by Dani Cage, who has a tendency to be a very obnoxious Yankees fan. Though Mayday has a spot on the Daughters of Liberty team and often works outside the team as a research chemist, she has struggled with her identity since she stopped playing basketball. While she is currently Spider-Girl, she always views it more as her continuing her father’s work rather it being her own thing. Despite being incredibly bright and formidable fighter, Mayday also struggles with a lack of confidence and anxiety. She is often makes sarcastic jokes and often at her own expense. Mayday is loyal friend and often agonizes over the fact her superhero duties sometimes make her break her promises to her friends and family. However, she’s found a good support system in her girlfriend Nancy Lu, a telekinetic member of the X-Men and in her mentor, Val Richards. Though she is seven years older, Mayday often mothers her younger sister Annie, whom she sees as reckless and impulsive.

Mayday’s Playlist: This playlist is a mixture of Alternative and Rock music. It has a lot of songs that deal with self-esteem and discovering who are you is enough. It features Paramore, Avril Lavigne, Halsey and P!nk.

Anne “Annie” Parker 

Annie Parker is Earth-18119 canon character and the daughter of Peter Parker (Spider-Man) and Mary Jane Watson. Like her sister, she inherited her father’s enhanced physiology and wall-crawling abilities but that’s where their similarities end. Like her mother, Annie is an incredibly outgoing personality. With her love for pink, glitter and partying, most people look at Annie and think of her nothing more than an empty-headed party girl who does stupid shit and has nothing to add to the conversation. Wrong! Annie has one of the world’s highest IQs and is usually the smartest person in the room. She’s gifted in both sciences and mathematics. At the start of the story, she’s a student at Empire State University and is pursuing two degrees in Mathematics and Physics. She’s got an endemic memory which helps her manage her schoolwork, hero work and social life. Annie wasn’t initially invited to be a part of the team, but Mayday convinced Val and El to bring her on in hopes of curbing Annie’s partying. She’s a bit of hedonist and often does things to an excess. Since she was a child, Annie has been known for her bubbly attitude and infectiously positive attitude. This was developed at a young age as she rarely saw her older sister happy (not understanding that her sister suffered from depression and anxiety) and she made it her personal mission to make Mayday smile. Annie is a fearless girl with a big heart who doesn’t often think before putting herself in harm’s way, which unknowing stresses out her older sister more.

Annie’s Playlist: This playlist features a lot of Pop, Hip-Hop and Dance music. It’s high energy, upbeat and makes you just want to have a good time. Honestly, a good chunk of these songs have featured on RuPaul’s Drag Race as Lip Sync for your life songs. (Annie is a massive RuPaul fan). It features Arianna Grande, Britney Spears, Rihanna and Tove Lo.

Meredith “Mere” Pryde

Meredith Pryde is an Earth-41001 canon character and the daughter of Piotr Rasputin (Colossus) and Kitty Pryde (Shadow Cat). She inherited her mother’s phasing power, tech skills and ability to make epic callouts. She inherited almost nothing from her father, whom she doesn’t really remember since he died when she was young. She was raised mainly by her mother and her aunt Illyana Rasputin. Meredith joined the Daughters of Liberty so she didn’t have to deal with her brother Cameron second-guessing all of her choices and telling her to calm down. When Meredith sees injustice, she does her best to correct the situation and she doesn’t care who she has to call out. When she’s not doing work for the Daughters of Liberty, Meredith is active activist who is involved in various projects but especially on mutants’ rights. She attends and supports every march she can and her instagram is full of all her favorite protest and march signs that she sees. Aside from being involved in activism, Meredith’s second favorite activity is trolling her teammates, especially those who tend to be nonplussed about things. She’s notorious for her pranks and for playfully flirting with her teammates’ siblings to make them uncomfortable, namely Bekka. While she’s a notorious flirt, she has no interest in relationships and will punch you in the face if you ask her if she has a boyfriend or girlfriend. Though she is involved with the Daughters of Liberty and various movements, Meredith often suffers from loneliness because she doesn’t have a lot of time for herself and fostering her friendships. She’s every girl’s friend, but no one’s best friend. 

Meredith’s Playlist: This playlist highlights Meredith’s confidence and unapologetic nature. She is who she is, and you can take it or leave it. It’s an eclectic list which has mixture of Pop Rock, Pop, Alternative and R&B music. It features Superchick, Billie Eilish, Lily Allen and Icona Pop.

Wendy Nguyen

Wendy Nguyen is a character Shea and I made up, she is not related to anyone. Shocker. She’s a licensed therapist who often treats other superheroes and was actually assigned to El Rogers after the death of her father. She is an empath who is capable of sensing people’s emotions and when she touches them, she gets not only your emotions but your thoughts and even your memories. Her senses are incredibly strong and she often cannot be in the same room when someone is feeling things a bit too strongly, particularly her teammate Maya Ayala during the team’s first year together. Because she feels people’s emotions so strongly, Wendy is often confused whose emotions she is feeling - hers or someone else’s. This is one of the reasons it took her so long for her to admit her feelings for Val. Wendy is often seen as a quiet and thoughtful person who does her best to make her teammates confront their feelings for both her sake and theirs. She has an affinity for tea and has the world’s most absurd tea cabinet which is filled with tea from all over the world from her many travels. She also as an affinity for butterflies, which she views as being similar to human emotions - intense, sometimes beautiful but fleeting and fragile. Wendy often wears gloves to keep herself from accidentally touching others and taking their thoughts and memories without their permission. The ethics of her ability sometimes is a struggle for her since while they allow her to be good at job, however she feels them without control or consent from others. She rarely goes out with her friends in public areas mainly because being around so many people who are feeling a variety emotions is too much for her and causes her to have splitting headaches.

Wendy’s Playlist: Best described as folksy and acoustic. Wendy prefers most chilled out music because feeling others’ emotions can be very overwhelming. However, there’s a range of emotion here because she feels a lot. It features Of Monsters and Men, Regina Spektor, Jolie Holland and Hannah Connelly.

Yasmin “Yas” Khan

Yasmin Khan is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the niece of Kamala Khan (Miss Marvel). Like her aunt, Yasmin has Inhuman heritage alongside holding Pakistani and African heritages from her parents, Aamir and Tyesha. She was exposed to the Terrigen Mists and gained abilities similar to her father in which she can create psychic force fields, however she also has telekinesis and touch-telepathy. Yasmin is a practicing Muslim and while most of the women don’t wear hijabs nor expect her to wear one, she often feels to try and normalize Muslim practices in a society that is suspicious and often hateful towards her culture. She likes to joke that it covers up her bad hair days. Yasmin loves fashion and color, and though she is often the most modest wearing person in the room, she is definitely the most colorful and enjoys outrageous patterns. She is a big lover of pop culture and can often be seen playing Pokemon Go and watching shows on Crunchy Roll on her phone. She has a massive sweet tooth and can be seen in the kitchens watching Bekka bake in hopes of being allowed to have a bite. Though she doesn’t drink, she is best friends with Annie and often accompanies her on nights out and makes sure her friend doesn’t get into any trouble. Yasmin is one of the few people who isn’t out with her personal identity and this is mainly due to her fear of people hurting her family due to the rampant Muslim prejudice in the United States. As one of the youngest members of the team, her teammates are incredibly protective of her and have actually a designated plan ready to cheer her up if they ever see Yasmin is upset, which is called Operation: Yas Smiles. 

Yas’s Playlist: Like Meredith, Yap’s playlist is very colorful and has a diverse range of generics from R&B to Soul and Rap. It has a range of emotions since while Yas is a very cheerful person and absolute sweetheart, there’s some anger there at how she and other Muslims are treated. It features Mona Haydar, SassyBlack, Daya and Azealia Banks.

Maya Ayala

Maya Ayala is a character Shea and I made up, she’s the daughter of Hector Ayala (White Tiger) and the niece of Ava Ayala (White Tiger). Nothing happy ever happens to the Ayala family and unfortunately that saga continues with Maya, who witnessed her entire family and boyfriend being murdered in front of her during a shoot out in the Bronx. She took up the mantle of White Tiger and has been on a search to find their murderer. Before becoming the current incarnation of the White Tiger, Maya was a former competitive gymnast who was almost on the United States Olympic team and was working as a gymnastics coach. However, since the incident, she’s put all of her energy into getting revenge for her family and joined the Daughters of Liberty to honor her aunt and to use her resources to get justice. While her focus is on revenge, her greatest desire is to see her family and her boyfriend again. At the beginning, she kept herself from her teammates because she didn’t want to get attached, but after awhile, she became very close with Wendy, Val, Dani and Lucy. Maya has a secret love for telenovelas which she tries to keep quiet because she’s afraid of being seen as stereotypical. Despite this, she’s very proud Latina and gets pissed off when people write her off as “Mexican” or “foreign,” especially since her family hails from Puerto Rico and she’s just as American as anyone else. However, occasionally she does share her culture with the others, and occasionally makes arroz con gandules and pollo guisado with Bekka for the team. 

Maya’s Playlist: This is list is a mixture of Latin Pop, Alternative and R&B. It holds a mixture of Maya before the loss of her family and after. A lot of the latin pop are from gymnastic routines she would create. However, there’s also a lot of anger and sadness here, which is understandable. It features Audri Nix, Ciara, Lana Del Rey and Skylar Grey.

[sothischickshe]

Make Yourselves Forget That The Plague Is A Bitch: Book Edition

Tagged by: @rocknghorss (thank you this looks so fun!)

 What’s the most recent book that you’ve read and absolutely fell in love with?

Oh I don't know if it was absolutely the most recent but a recent one is a book of short stories by nadine gordimer 💙

 Do you keep track of how many books you’re reading every month?

Hmm not in any meaningful way but I do always photograph them

 What’s your stance on the debate as to whether or not we should dissociate the artist from their art (artist = writer in this case)?

Well I don't know that we SHOULD but I think it's OK if someone wishes to. And I think that goes for all art.

Understanding who the artist is, helps in understanding (and indeed criticising) the art.

I do think it's OK to enjoy art even if you have issues with the artist however. For some people that means they want to divorce the art and artist.

But I find that sometimes you enjoy or appreciate things for the perspective they shed, without necessarily liking or condoning that perspective.

What do you do when you can’t focus on a book?

I almost always push through, and that's almost always worth it.

 Do you pay attention to the gender/ethnicity/race/sexuality of the authors you’re reading, aka do you actively try to read books written by diverse writers?

Yea I think I'm generally aware of that. However, I don't really seek out books. Books flow to me.

 Paperback or hardcover?

Either. My bag is a place of terrors but also I must carry its weight. Pros and cons to either.

Which language would you like to learn just to be able to read its untranslated literature?

Well I think the only hope I'd have would be french! I'm sure there's far more untranslated into English literature of other languages, but I personally would find it satisfying to read French literature untranslated, you get me. (my French is very bad, and that's my own fault, is what I'm saying)

Pick up the book that is closest to you. convince me to read it in less than 10 sentences.

Well I'm not sure I would tbh. It's the same book I've been reading for ages (the new silk roads). It's not bad! But it was a gift. And I started reading it just before all this Plague shit kicked off, and I'm not sure kinda intense serious non fiction about global economics and politics is quite the right escapist mood for the current moment. But what can I say, I'm a completist!

It's certainly interesting, and it's well foot noted, and it's sassy af (but it's also kinda... Terrifying. Like if you forget who's the American president for even half a second yknow)

 Tagging  @jazillia007 @bourbon-ontherocks @sdktrs12 @foxmagpie @nickmillerscaulk @kenrune @storiestoldbyjazz @inyoursheets

[imaginationxiii]

Can I please have a match up? I'm female, hetero, Libra and INFP( but I don't take anyone's bs). I'm usually calm and keep it to myself, I'm independent (Introverts need/give space), yet needy at times. I have a sarcastic and dark sense of humor. I'm intelligent & love mystery/puzzles. I love (video)games! I always listen to music, I draw a little, read/write a lot... In short, I LOVE any form of art! I know a lot about many subjects, but I especially like symbology and ancient history. Love ya!

You have been matched with… Xemnas

Mystery and intelligence quickly brings one member of Organization XIII to mind: none other than the Superior! It should go without saying that Xemnas’ focus on his goals is very intense and he won’t be distracted by anything or anyone. A like mind that values wisdom, enveloped in a mysterious presence is just the thing for making this man interested in a relationship with you.

After all, he is quite the enigmatic presence himself, and the pursuit of knowledge is what led him down this path. Social and emotional subjects matter little to him. Revealing your intellect will be key to gaining his attention. He is probably quite receptive to questions about the concepts he is so enthralled with, namely hearts and the nature of a Nobody’s nonexistence. Your natural craving for answers will show Xemnas that you aren’t just another neophyte to do his bidding. Oh no, there lies potential in you, and nothing will get in his way of unlocking that potential.

At least, that sort of thing will be his aim until he spends a sufficient amount of time with you and arrives at the conclusion that there’s so much more than potential to be found. Those discoveries will stay between you and him, but he can weave together a nice speech about the traits he admires in you just as easily as if he were speaking about Kingdom Hearts. This stays behind closed doors, naturally, but it definitely wouldn’t be an unwelcome thing when you’re having a bad day.

Independence is very useful when you’re so closely bonded with Xemnas, ironic as that might sound. There are so many plans he needs to devise and adjust–not to mention the responsibility of leading an Organization–so it’s only natural that he would spend time apart from you to focus on such things. He also has a tendency to lose himself in contemplation over other matters, professional and personal, so alone time is important. You being an introvert is certainly a convenience for him; however, he doesn’t mind if you suffer from clingy moments and seek him out. So long as he isn’t particularly engaged with a task, he would be willing to let you in on his personal bubble. He respects your boundaries and expects you to do the same. Seeking more attention than he can logically divide between you and work will end with him lightly chiding you to wait until later. Perhaps if you’re good for him, he’ll reward your patience~

Moments like that are where Xemnas’ sense of humor (though some members would probably argue that he was never equipped with such a thing). He can be rather dry and come off as condescending if he’s ever in a mood for humor. It’s difficult to imagine a being without a heart to be put off by dark humor, and Xemnas is no exception to that. Hell, your morbid jokes might eventually make him more receptive to humor than Xehanort ever was. Your sarcasm is one of the few things to elicit a low chuckle from the Superior’s lips. This is especially true if you unleash the snark on a deserving victim–he is professional enough to save his smirk for after the other person is gone, but you will know how proud he is of your sharp wit. Some might accuse him of being a boring presence, but he feels anything but that when you’re near. Almost every moment shared with you is like a new discovery for him, and that change to the monotony is something he cherishes greatly (though you won’t hear him admit it. Not for a while.)

Speaking of breaking the monotony, another major way you do that for Xemnas is by sharing your knowledge of such diverse subjects with him. Being well-read would never be considered a bad thing, especially in his eyes. He would listen to you go on for ages about the topics you’ve educated yourself on. Symbology sounds like something he would particularly enjoy hearing from you. He isn’t one to look down on the importance of history, so random factoids about the ancient past would be a nice daily ‘treat’ that he would never tire of. Expect to be on the receiving end of many lectures from him as well… but with a voice like that, there are far worse fates to be subjected to.

Depending on the topic and your comfort level, Xemnas could be willing to read whatever it is that you write. As a matter of fact, he would be a great help for preparing academic papers… but reading something nonfictional would be a good change of pace for him. Although I can see him being a stickler for accuracy and grammar. Getting him interested in your love for music could be more difficult… unless you know some calming music that he can listen to while being absorbed in books and scrolls for hours on end. He might not stick with it in the long run, but he would be willing to make an attempt at it if you insist on the educational power of music.

[westywrites]

WIP tag

Thank you to the incredible @infinitelyblankpage who tagged me to answer some questions about my WIP, so here we go for my cyborg WIP. I’m sorry if this is incoherent, it’s been typed on mobile after a very very long day in Quebec.

1. What is the working title of your book?

A Mind of Static, originally the idea for the title A Heart of Flesh popped into my head, but I realized that would be better for a theoretical sequel, I tried to come up with similar/related titles and somehow got to A Mind of Static which fits perfectly!

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?

It’s literally a dream I had one night and scrambled to write down in point form at like 4am when I woke up.

3. What genre is your current work in progress?

Science fiction (plus spies kinda)

4. Choose the actors for your movie rendition.

I don’t know any actors like in all seriousness if you asked me to name actors I would probably say Jim Carrey and then blank for a while. I’m going to see if a quick google search yields any results.

And nope, can’t find anyone right for the roles. Just know that most of the characters are vaguely Spanish/Italian/Portuguese in appearance as the world I’m designing takes some heavy influence from that area of our real world

5. Give a one-sentence synopsis of your book.

A girl decides to train and fight in the war against the corrupt cybernetic company, XeNetic Tech, hoping to find the pieces of her missing memory along the way.

6. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agent?

In order to publish something it must be finished, as such, I will start thinking about publishing when I finally get close to the realm of finishing something.

7. How long did it take you to write the first draft?

I started actually writing this WIP on June 1st though the idea has existed for several months. Knowing myself, it’ll be years before I actually finish the first draft, but who knows, I have you all to inspire me now so maybe I’ll get it done.

8.What other books would you compare your story to?

Uh.. I actually have never read any sci-fi novels before… I know that to write a good story, an author should be well-versed in the genre and all, but this just randomly came from a dream, I’ve always been more of a fantasy person. I'm trying to get around to reading some more sci-fi, so if you have any suggestions, or if any of you know any books that are similar in concept, please throw them my way.

9. Who or what inspired you to write the book?

My mind (and my dreams) kept coming back to poor dear Katherine and a particular scene that is hardcore spoilers for everything in this novel (honestly I don’t even know if it’ll be in the first book if this ends up a series). I can’t say what it is, but I’ll have you know that it’s intense and fascinating and just exactly the kind of thing that got that writer part of me hooked on the idea.

10. What else about your book might pique a reader’s interest?

Cyborgs, spies, a bit of romance, cool fight scenes, mysterious missing memories, fighting corrupt corporations, motorcycles and leather jackets, a diverse cast, a cool planet with detailed history, linguistics, and religions, I mean, what about this book wouldn’t pique a reader’s interest? (I know it certainly piques mine)

I’ll tag @nightskywriter and @starlitesymphony and @concealeddarkness13 if you feel like doing it/haven’t done it for all your WIPs already. No pressure, have fun!