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fandom-blackhole · 2 years ago

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hi, i really liked your work in ao3, so i’d like to request about joel where reader is pregnant and she’s freaking out a bit about telling joel, afraid he’s not going to take the new well, mostly cause of his traumas, but also cause it’s not a safe environment to raise a kid. thank you!

So sorry this took me absolutely forever to get to my lovely, school has been super busy for me! But I'm so happy that you liked my other Joel works and came over here send a request <3 I hope you like this!!

WC: 3.6K (this one got away from me woops)

Warnings: afab!reader, pregnancy, set in Jackson, no real spoilers (that i noticed), one cuss word, mentions of doubts and intrusive thoughts over the pregnancy, very unedited (i am tired and i am sure there are a ton of mistakes sorry)

When the sickness first started you chalked it up to food poisoning from the twenty some year old can of Cambell’s baked potato soup you had found and eaten while out on a three day supply run. Joel had warned you about eating it, but you had been too excited over the soup and the nostalgic memories of before the outbreak that it brought with it. So it wasn’t too much of a surprise when two days later as you were hunched over the toilet, Joel rubbed your back gently and waited until after you were finished and he passed you a glass of water, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the door frame and sighed, “Told you not to eat that soup.”

You had only huffed at him and lifted your hand, motioning for help, to which Joel helped you up off the floor and helped you to bed. He left you there with your glass of water and a small trash can, but not before he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead and whispered, “Rest up. I’ll come check up on ya in a few hours.”

Of course when a week passed and you were still running from bed each morning, Joel insisted you visit the doctor in town. You pushed back at first, saying that it was probably just the flu, it was that time of year right before winter fully sets in and the weather bounced from warm and cold and almost everyone had at least the sniffles. Joel, however, kept pushing and eventually he won out after a particularly rough day where you could barely hold down water and you couldn’t handle Joel’s worried glances anymore.

So the next morning, before he left for his patrol, Joel walked you to the building downtown that had long been converted into a doctor’s office. The whole walk there Joel kept fretting over you.

“You sure you’ll make it back home alright? I can ask Maria to come and walk you back when she’s finished, or have her grab Ellie to do it.”

”I’ll be fine. I swear you act like I am gonna walk out of there knocking on death’s door.”

Joel of course gives you an exasperated look as the two of you turn the corner to the main hub of Jackson that was downtown and he gives a huff before saying, “You just have me worried. I’ve never seen you this sick and you haven’t been getting any better. It’s been two weeks, you should be getting better by now.”

“Joel, I really think you are making a mountain out of a molehill here,” you reply to his worry, trying to reassure him just a little, but as he opens the door for you to enter the doctor’s office he just shakes his head while looking at the ground. When he meets your eyes again, he says with full seriousness, “I don’t think you ‘re taking this serious enough. Maybe I should stay an’ make sure you don’t downplay everything.”

At that you take a step forward towards Joel and stick a finger on his chest with your eyebrows raised.

“Oh no, you are going to go do your patrol with Tommy. I can do this like an adult,” you pause and meet Joel’s hazel gaze, reading into his worry with a sigh, “and I promise I will tell the doc the whole truth, leaving nothing out. You aren’t going to lose me to something as small as the flu Joel Miller, you’re stuck with me.”

That earned you a small quirk of Joel’s lips, before he sighed again before nodding. You gave him a small smile back and pressed a kiss to Joel’s nose before whispering a goodbye and walking into the doctor’s office.

---

Well, Joel was right it would seem. It wasn’t the flu like you had assumed. You weren’t even sure how to wrap your head around what the doctor had come in and told you. He had told you that he ran the test twice just to be sure, but both had come back positive. You were pregnant and there was no doubt in your mind whose child it was.

You didn’t mean to start crying, but once it started you couldn’t stop, the tears cascading down your cheeks as your shoulders shook with silent gasping sobs. Your doctor held you, letting your tears soak his shoulder as he ran a comforting hand up and down your back. From his reaction, you doubt this is the first time he’s comforted someone with news like this, afterall who wants to bring new life into a world like the one surrounding you now, it wasn’t a safe environment for children.

Once you had calmed, the doctor pulled away and with a gentle voice started giving you the pregnancy spiel- avoid this, don’t drink that, try to eat more of this. All of it was a blur in your mind, shock clouding your thoughts. The doctor told you he estimated that you were about six or seven weeks in, which is when morning sickness tended to make an appearance. So he gave you a bottle of multivitamins to start taking as well as a chamomile and ginger tea that is supposed to help the nausea. He also gave you a small bag of honey and mint candies, saying he was a little worried about your lack of calorie and fluid intake over the last week, telling you to drink the tea and try and suck on a few candies until you thought you could hold down actual food.

As you got ready to leave, your tote of goodies, as the nurse had called it, slung over your shoulder, the doctor gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze and a small smile telling you, “Try not to worry too much, you’re in the best spot in the whole country to be going through something like this, and you aren’t alone, you have a whole town at your back. Not to mention the hardest fighter in town beside you.”

You returned his smile, though your’s was hollow and full of worry, and nodded. You wished the doctor and the nurse a good week and walked home, not stopping until you were alone in your bathroom sobbing as you slid down the wall in your shower.

---

Weeks passed and your nausea and morning sickness eased with the help of the tea which you drank in the mornings, smiling over the rim of your mug as Joel drank his coffee, always offering you some and you always declining. He never seemed any suspicious of your condition. He believed you that evening when you had told him a lie, told him that you had been right, that the doctor said it had been the flu making you sick. He didn’t question you when in the mornings after saying you were better you still drank the tea telling him you had really liked it and just didn’t want it to go to waste, when in reality you were still waking up with a queasy stomach each morning.

You aren’t completely sure why you continued to hide the pregnancy for Joel. He didn’t say it much, but he had told you that he loved you, he showed it to you almost daily through small things like bringing you fresh eggs when you mentioned a craving for cookies but you were missing that one ingredient, how he brought home you favorite food from the dining hall once you were finally able to hold down food again, how he surprised you with a gift yesterday- a small wooden bird carving he’d started for you when he noticed you’d been feeling down. He loved you, you knew this, and you loved him, but you were terrified of telling him. What if it changed how he felt? What if he didn’t take the news well?

You should know to ignore these doubts, you really should, but they cloud your thoughts anyway. Joel had already been through so much with his daughter, Sarah, and his adoptive daughter, Ellie. He’d long since confided both of their stories to you, he had told you how the death of his daughter had shattered him and how his cross country trip with Ellie had broken him back down once more. What if the pregnancy brought up all the bad memories and traumas for him? What if it was too much for him to go through the process of raising, caring, and protecting another kid?

That’s not even mentioning your own personal worries of the pregnancy. You knew Jackson was one of the safest places left, but that doesn’t mean that it is completely safe from the outside world. The town often had enough raids from hunters to remind you of that fact, and the hordes of infected wandering up north and getting closer to town were of no comfort to these worries either. And what about all the possible complications? Things could always go south and put you at risk. You could die giving birth, the baby could die, both of you could die. You both could end up as just another name on Joel’s list of loss. You didn’t want to be another source of pain for him, you didn’t want to hurt the man you loved like that.

So you don’t tell him. You continue to smile at him over the rim of your mug each morning. You continue to live your life around Jackson like nothing is different and you live in fear of the day you can no longer hide yourself from the man you love.

---

Months pass and you continue working. You continued patrols with Joel and you kept putting on the facade that everything was fine and like there wasn’t a constant fight going on in your head. Joel of course ever observant gave you worried looks like he could see through your mask, but never brought it up nor asked you what was troubling you. It was tearing you apart being the only one that knew and unable to bring yourself to say anything.

The nausea and morning sickness started to fade around the three month mark and you were truly overjoyed to not be waking up feeling ill each morning. But of course there had to be a downside. You only got another two weeks without the morning sickness before you noticed the thing that was going to be your undoing.

You had been pulling on your jeans, getting ready for the day’s patrol- one of the longer routes and you’d be accompanied by both Joel and Tommy- only when it got to buttoning them, you couldn’t. You’d noticed them getting a little tight, but had hoped that you’d have more time. Luck had never been on your side however, so as you struggled with the button you could feel your heart in your throat as your panic started to take ahold of you.

After several minutes you gave up, knowing your struggle was going to stay fruitless. Looking around your room for a solution, you paused on your spare pair of boots. As quickly as possible you dethreaded both sets of shoelaces and slipped them through your jean’s belt loops as many times as possible before tying the sides together and zipping the jeans closed as much as you could.

After shoving your boots that still had their laces on, you raced downstairs and rushed out an apology as you slipped your coat on, the weather still holding its chill.

“Sorry I couldn’t find my warm sweater. Let’s go before Tommy starts complaining about us holding him up.”

Joel just shook his head with a fond smile, holding your bag out for you to take as you passed to leave the house.

The walk to the front gate was quiet, the morning sun just gracing the horizon as you rubbed your hands together and slipped them into your pockets for your gloves which you hurriedly pulled on. Like you had predicted, once you reached the gate, Tommy stood next to his horse with his arms crossed and he spoke up as you and Joel approached, “What took you both so long? Coulda slept in in my nice warm bed if I’d known you’d be late.”

You rolled your eyes as Joel helped you up onto your horse and he replied, “Someone couldn’t find their warm sweater even though it was hanging right there in the closet.”

Gasping, you nudged Joel’s shoulder with the toe of your boot as he walked away, grumbling, “Just throw me under the bus why don’t you. See if I agree to go on anymore patrols with you two.”

Tommy laughs as he swings onto his own horse before leading the three of you out of Jackson and out towards your path for the day.

The three of you travel in silence for a little bit, you yourself enjoying listening to the early morning bird songs. Once you all get to the first sign-in point, you all take the chance for a pause and a stretch. You walk around the converted home, stopping to look through the bay window in one of the upstairs bedrooms. The room was clearly a kid’s room, the walls painted with fields and a barn and farmhouse surrounded by houses, cattle, chickens, and bison. The bed one of those that grew with a kid, going from cradle to toddler bed. Toys and stuffies long forgotten and scattered around the room. You leaned down and picked one up, a weathered build-a-bear wearing a pair of faux denim overalls and a red handkerchief. Gently you wiped the dirt and dust off the eyes, letting the black plastic shine once again.

Without realizing it, one of your hands drifted down to lay on your lower abdomen as you swallowed heavily and your eyes start to water. But you don’t get too far, as a soft knock on the door behind you brings you back. Turning, you find Joel looking over you, eyes slightly worried as he holds out a small pack of dried fruit. You give him a small smile and set the bear down on the bed before grabbing the food, noticing the hand on your stomach, quickly laughing and patting the hand there saying, “You must have heard my stomach growl downstairs.”

Taking your lead Joel gave you a grin replying, “Thought there was a runner up here from all the noise it was making.”

You huffed a laugh, kissing Joel’s cheek as you walked back downstairs and let out a sigh of thanks to whoever let you get away that easily with such a terrible lie. But you didn’t dwell on it, the three of you hopping onto your horses and setting out on the trail once more.

As you went this time, Joel and Tommy passed the time with conversation. You though just listened to them, eating the fruit Joel had given you and occasionally adding little input when prompted.

Tommy made mention that the meat stores were running a little low and he’d been asked to try and catch a deer if he could. That led the two down a conversation over how the food stores as a whole were doing and if there needed to be any supply runs anytime soon. You however zoned out at this knowing they would probably get wrapped up in the conversation. Instead you looked around as you rode, both to keep an eye out for anything and to keep your mind busy. Not that it worked as your mind drifted.

You were starting to show and while it wasn’t too noticeable right now, it would only be a matter of time before nothing fit and you’d be forced to tell Joel, or he’d figure it all out himself. At this point you're worried over his anger at being left in the dark over this for so long as well, adding to the number of worries you already held. The doctor had told you on your last check up that all your stress and worrying was causing your blood pressure to raise and that worried him. He had urged you to take a break, to try and relax but you couldn’t, not when relaxing meant your thoughts would be given more time to circle and bring you more stress and worry. You just wished all of this would disappear, that everything was fine and you only had to worry about the usual things like hunters and infected. You hated yourself for it, because you had truly not wanted it, but in the beginning you had hoped and prayed that something would happen, that this would go away and you wouldn’t have to tell Joel. But here you are and you should have known that this child being part Joel meant it wasn’t going to give up, that it was going to be there no matter how hard they had to fight, and fuck did you already love the little devil, but the worry it brought left you breaking apart.

Hearing your name shouted pulled you from your thoughts. Jerking your head you met Joel’s worried and confused look as he said, “Come on, Tommy is gonna go start a fire for us all to warm up an’ I spotted some deer tracks so you an’ me are gonna go see if we can find anything…..you good?”

Looking around, you noticed the three of you had reached the next sign in spot on the patrol route while you had been lost in your thoughts. Turning back to Joel you nodded before sliding from your horse and tying her up.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just got a little lost in thought. Sorry.”

Joel just nodded slowly, his worried look not leaving, before he nodded his head to the right, saying, “The tracks lead this way.”

You nod, and grab your rifle from your shoulder, and start to follow after him, watching the tracks as the two of you go. It didn’t take long to catch up to the deer, the pretty female gazing on an open patch of grass only a fifteen minute or so walk from where you both had left Tommy and the horses. Quietly, both you and Joel looked through your scopes that the deer as she slowly stepped and ate at the patch of grass. You had had a clear shot, and were about to take it, knowing Joel’s own was blocked by a thin tree in front of him, but you paused when you saw movement next to her and that’s when you saw the small fauntling clinging close to its mother’s legs.

For some reason all of your worries came to a head as you saw the two together, and your hands shook as you put your rifle down. Joel turned to you confused as he had yet to notice the baby, so you just turned to him and shook your head and pressed your fingers to your lips before pointing to the deer and cradling your arms, signing to him that she had a baby with her. Joel took another quick look and sighed, putting his rifle down as well when he finally saw the fawn.

The two of you started back to Tommy to tell him that the prints had been a dead end, but halfway back you couldn’t help but pause, and say, “Do you ever feel jealous of them?”

Confused, Joel turned to look at you where you stood and shook his head as he said, “What?”

You sigh and refuse to meet his eyes as you motion back to where the deer were, clearing your throat.

“The animals. Do you ever get jealous over how they aren’t chased after like we are, how they can’t turn into monsters that become murderous and hunt down the rest of their species? They just have to worry about running fast enough away from those of us that are living so they don’t become some terribly seasoned stew.”

Joel takes a step towards you, reaching a hand out to cup your shoulder, and says your name, “Where is this coming from? Does this have to do with what’s had you so stressed lately?”

You opened your mouth to reply, to brush it all away and just say nevermind, that it didn’t matter it was only a thought, but you met Joel’s eyes, the hazel swirling with concern and his voice laced with the need to help. In that moment every reply is lost to your tongue and your eyes swell with tears as you utter the words you’d been so terrified to share.

“Joel, I’m pregnant.”

The seconds ticked like hours as you realized you finally let the truth slip. As you watched the emotions filter over Joel’s face. Surprise, confusion, worry….wonder. His eyes danced around your figure as a single tear finally slipped.

“You’re sure?”

You nodded choppily and you gave him a timid smile.

“Yeah…turns out you were right months ago, it was never the flu,” you paused, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, “I…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I-I just didn’t know how and my head kept fueling all these ‘what ifs’ around my thoughts and I just didn’t know how to handle it but god I should have told you and I am sorry.”

Gently, Joel cupped your face and wiped away the tears that had fallen as you apologized. He looked at you like you had just whispered to him the secret cure to the infection, one that didn’t involve Ellie.

Joel’s eyes bounced between your own as he asked, “How far….how far along are you?”

“Almost three and a half months,” you reply, your stress slowly fading to the background and slipping away.

Joel, as if he could see all of your doubts over the last three months, looks you right in the eye as he says, “You don’t have to worry anymore. Nothing will happen to either of you, not under my watch.”

Have an idea or headcannon you want written for Joel? My askbox is open! Feel free to send it to me! Thanks for reading and check out my other Joel fics! <3

Masterlist

#joel x reader #joel miller x reader

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blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk · 1 year ago

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A scenario where the one(s) Ciel is after revenge for is already dead and gone. Sebastian's reaction to being stuck with Ciel till he dies and even then he doesn't get his meal and how Ciel and his soulmate feel. (I'm thinking they just met shortly before Ciel finds out those he was after are dead).

ohohohoho

At the end of his quest for revenge, which spanned years, CIEL was hoping there would be some kind of satisfaction at the end of it.

Instead, he’s left with nothing but a hollow sort of relief as he looks down at the bodies of the people responsible for ruining his entire life.

Is he glad to have them gone? Of course. To know that the proof is right there, that they can never hurt him or anyone he cares about or anyone at all ever again is a weight off his shoulders.

He’s just angry that he wasn’t the one to take them out of this world. It’s frustrating in a way he doesn’t fully know how to describe.

He’s sure the ride home in the carriage is going to be a long one, full of too many thoughts and not enough words to express them all. When he settles in beside (Name), his beloved, the other half of his soul (which will get to exist and persist now), he already knows he’s going to be too tired to sleep.

SEBASTIAN gets as comfortable as he thinks a demon can possibly get across from the two of them. It’s a moment before anyone speaks; presumably none of them really want to address anything that’s hanging in the air. It has to be done, though.

“I should have known a little brat like you would find some way to not keep your end of the bargain, my lord.” Sebastian’s eyes flicker briefly toward (Name), then his gaze returns to Ciel. “Shall I assume you’ve told them of our deal?”

“And everything it entails. Which is now a moot point.” Ciel removes his hat and sets it on the other side of him, his free hand being held by (Name)’s. “Am I correct about that part?”

(Name) squeezes Ciel’s hand before looking over at their soulmate’s butler. “… Is that true, Sebastian? Does that mean―”

Sebastian lets out a small huff; Ciel hasn’t heard this tone since the very first days of this demon serving him. It’s been a while since he let the mask slip. “Yes, it does. Congratulations, you’ve solved the mystery. I no longer get to eat your lover’s soul. What do you want me to do, bake you a pie?”

“Shut your mouth, Sebastian. Talk to them like that again and you’ll be relegated to playing hall boy for a month.” Despite everything, Ciel hasn’t lost a bit of his spine to be ordering Sebastian around. In fact, he feels might he might have more authority than ever before. “I don’t care that you’ve known (Name) for less than six months. I don’t care that you’re upset over this. I don’t care. You will not speak to them with anything less than respect, and that’s an order. It certainly won’t be the last one I ever give you.”

Sebastian raises an eyebrow. Clearly, he isn’t happy about the situation. Ciel doesn’t think he’d be happy in Sebastian’s position either, but, well, that’s the chance he took with a deal like this, isn’t it? “Oh, yes. Put your ego on full display to soothe your wounded pride, as usual.”

“My pride isn’t wounded, thank you very much. You’re lucky I don’t order you to carve out your own tongue.” The city goes by outside the windows, shrouded in darkness. Ciel spares the buildings a passing glance and, for the first time in a while, thinks about how he might pass his whole life here now.

“… You know,” (Name) murmurs, “I know it isn’t what you wanted, Sebastian, but I’m glad things turned out this way. Now I get to have a future with Ciel, and you won’t just vanish from our lives. Even if you didn’t like it, you’ve taken care of him for all this time. I’m grateful that you’ll be around.”

Ciel snorts, and it’s the first time since the revelation that he’s felt a little lighter. “Even if he acts like a complete bell-end?”

Sebastian’s eyes glow fuchsia as if he’s barely restraining himself from showing off a taste of his full power. “I follow every single order you give me, only to be cheated out of my meal, and I’m the bell-end? I’d like to see someone else do everything I’ve done since I came into your life, in exchange for the promise of a dinner that never comes.”

“And you’ll be continuing to do it until I die,” Ciel snaps.

Sebastian snarls back at him. “Don’t give me any ideas.”

“Ideas we both know you can’t act on, thereby doing nothing but tormenting you? In fact, I think I will.” He smirks. “Just wait until (Name) and I start a family. I can’t even begin to tell you how many nappies I’m going to make you change.”

(Name) beside him bites down on a laugh. “Ciel.”

The rest of Ciel’s life is laid out before him, and he’s so confused as to what he’s going to do with it when he couldn’t conceive of having a future less than an hour ago.

He may not have vengeance, but he has his life back. And he has (Name).

He thinks he’d rather have those things.

#Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Ciel #Sebastian #romantic #platonic #drama #YOOOOOOOOO #he's not even kidding Sebastian is gonna play nanny crow for the rest of his life and change so many diapers XD #one hell of a queue

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femboyhorror · 1 year ago

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i've grown tired of this body - fall apart without me body

【A/N: cross-posted from my ao3! if you enjoy this feel free to check out my other works and consider buying me a coffee maybe. :3 this one shot came out of the blue. as you can probably guess by now this is just one big vent one shot that started out just being me wanting to make a fic about trans!dipper dealing with his period while i was having to deal with mine and ended up spiraling into me projecting my own experiences with my parents being awful and transphobic onto sir dippingsauce here and imagining what'd it be like having a found family. tw ahead for some impled/references child abuse of the verbal kind, transphobia from dipper's a+ parents, some semi graphic descriptions of the fun times that come with menstruation and one use of the word queer. (it's not used in the context of bigotry, btw!) big shout out to anyone out there dealing with the red beast, to my fellow cisn't individuals who may deal with it. i hope life is kind to you, that you have some rad people you can turn to comfort or at least get to have some nice snacks during these trying times. 】

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The bus carrying him back to the forests of Oregon rattles and shakes as it makes track across the winding roads. By the second hour he's feeling a decent amount of claustrophobia, his legs wave back and forth with a need to get up and walk and a spring in the seat he was in had popped out and was just scratching at him enough that it made him want to scream.

And yet despite the minor discomforts, a sense of comfort washes over him when he sees the familiar towering pine trees slowly replace the long stretching plains in the window. It was a feeling that he'd sorely missed throughout the last ten months and was never more evident until he saw the green of those trees. By the time the old weathered sign passed by, proudly proclaiming 'Welcome to Gravity Falls', a full smile spreads across his face. One that he didn't need to look to know that his sister shared with him.

They were finally back in Gravity Falls.

They were finally home.

Ignoring the shouted reminder from the bus driver to wait until the bus had fully stopped, the mystery twin duo practically flew out of their seats and rushed off the bus with their suitcases in hand and - in Mabel's case - pet pig at their side. By the bus stop, sporting warm smiles, were their Grunkles Stan and Ford.

"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!" The twins had greeted them in near unison. The two opened their arms just in time for their niblings to practically tackle them in a big hug tight enough to make a few parts of Stan's back in particular pop courtesy of Mabel.

"Whoa whoa there kids, you tryin' to kill your old man?!" Protested the old con-man, though his own smile betrayed his joy to see the two. Eventually the group hug came to an end and Stan helped the twins put their luggage into the Stanleymobile.

"Welcome back, my boy." These words, spoken to Dipper in a gentle, caring tone, made a wave of emotion swell in his heart and he barely kept himself from crying right then and there as he replied,

"I'm glad to be back."

'My boy' he thinks with pride.

Because that's who he was here. In Gravity Falls he wasn't expected to be the quiet and polite little girl. Instead he was a beloved great nephew. He was a protecting twin brother. He was Dipper Pines and the sense of joy he feels when he thinks this brings some tears of relief to his eyes.

If Ford notices his sudden burst of emotion then he chooses not to comment on it to Dipper's relief, and Stan soon pipes up as they all pile into his old car.

"Alright, I don't know about you guys but I'm hungry enough to eat one of those multi-headed cows. Why don't we go back to the shack so I can make us some…"

"Stancakes?" Mabel guesses with a bright smile.

"That's right! And Mabel's helping me out this time since Ford's still banned from the kitchen."

"For cosmo's sake, Stanley, the last time I burnt anything was months ago!"

"Yeah, and I still have no idea how you managed to set the entire kitchen on fire just by pouring cereal!"

"Oooh, good thing I brought my special rainbow glitter!"

"Pumpkin, that glitter is edible, right?"

Dipper relaxed during the car ride home, comfortably letting himself get lost in the familiar family banter and, at least for the moment, letting himself drift off and forget about all the pain from Piedmont.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

Breakfast back at the Shack was, as expected with the Pines, a lively affair. Mabel, naturally, manages to make her own Stancakes into what Dipper could only describe as a rainbow colored death wish of syrup and sprinkles with perhaps some renments of pancakes in there but he couldn't tell for sure. The four of them conversed about stories from their time apart, from their grunkles tales of their sea-faring adventures to Mabel providing stories from school such as amusing misadventures and some extracurricular activities they had gotten into.

Dipper tried to chime in as well, though he was somewhat distracted by a dull ache that had come up occassionally over the past few days. Radiating from his lower stomach area, it made it hard for Dipper to focus and he could barely manage to eat more than a single pancake despite having not eating anything that morning.

At one point he catches Ford giving him a look of concern but he simply waves him off, mouthing a silent 'I'm fine' to him.

Not long after breakfast was finished the twins took to their old room in the Mystery Shack's attic to unpack as their great uncle's assured them they could handle the dishes on their own.

"Hey, Dipper…?" Mabel's words, spoken in a tone unusually soft for the bubbly girl, break through the silence in the attic. "Don't you think we should tell Stan and Ford what ha-?"

"No." He quickly cuts in, harsher than he meant to and he immediately feels guilty but he doesn't doesn't doesn't want to think about Piedmont yet. "I just… I'm not ready… I just want to be Dipper a little longer…" The last part was barely above a whisper but still cuts through the silent attic like a shotgun blast.

"You are Dipper. To me, and to Ford and Stan. Nothing will ever make then treat you otherwise." The words 'unlike mom and dad' hang in the air, unsaid but understood by both twins. He wants to believe her, wants to trust that he'll always be seen as their great nephew but the echoing words of their parents make him falter.

"I will tell them, just…" He takes a deep, shaky breath. "…just not yet."

A beat passes and he almost expects Mabel to tell him that he should know by now to trust family, to tell him that honesty was the best policy and that he won't have to feel this weight on his chest if he just opened up to them.

"That's alright, just tell them when you're ready." She said instead.

The guilt remains.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The dawn of what Mabel has dubbed their first official day of summer begins with the dull ache from before now returning as the sharp pain of many needles as well as an unwelcome crimson visitor.

And while Dipper had expected to have to deal with good old shark week after the pseudo-cramps he'd been feeling for the last few days it still never made the day it finally started any less difficult. As if he hadn't had a hard enough time with dysphoria before returning to Gravity Falls the world seemed to have it out for Dipper with a wholly unwanted visitor would add insult to injury.

But, after some extra time cleaning himself in the bathroom, he resolves to push away the pain and stress and makes his way down the creaky stairs of the Shack in a slow and shaky manner…

..and is immediately greeted by the distinct smell of smoke. Confused and maybe a little bit panicked, he follows the scent to the kitchen where he discovers the source; a pan of half charred yet somehow also half raw eggs. Holding the pan was Mabel, unsuccessfully trying to salvage the mess with Stan standing by. By Dipper's guess he was trying to teach Mabel to cook with… mixed results. Smiling at the duo's antics, he takes a seat at the table where he spots his great uncle Ford, nursing a cup of coffee and seemingly entirely unbothered by the disaster that is Stan's cooking lesson.

"Good morning, my boy." He greets Dipper with a kind smile, and the gender euphoria of being called 'my boy' is almost enough to make him forget about his current pain and discomfort. Keyword: almost. Seeming to notice this, Ford furrows his brows in a concerned manner. "Are you feeling quite alright, Dipper? You look pale?"

"Oh, uh, I'm fine, Grunkle Ford, just tired is all…" He lied, forcing himself to pick up and bite into an apple despite how little he wanted to eat just to further prove he was alright. As he robotically chews into the apple Ford continues talking.

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to accompany me on a little walk to check on the forests around here, but if you're not feeling well…"

"Nononononono! We can go for a walk!" He quickly cuts in to Ford's owlish surprise. As much as he - in his current state of mild to extreme pain - wanted to spend the day in bed reading, the idea of being alone in the attic felt awful. Even if the cramps would kill him, he really wants to spend more time with his great uncle.

"Alright then, we can go after breakfast if that's alright with you?" Dipper forces his pain away to smile back to Ford.

"Y-yeah! Sounds great, I'll go grab my shoes."

And so Ford watched his great nephew run out of the kitchen, and he frowns at the barely eaten apple as a sense of growing worry settles in his gut.

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

The Gravity Falls forests were always a beauty to be able to behold. From the fantastical sorts of creatures and flora that called the woodland their home to even the more mundane sorts of plants and animals that shared the forest with the strange. This morning was no different as the sunlight filtered through the treetops above lit the forest in a soft light that made the whole place feel nothing short of enchanting.

Ford lead the way through the forest, chattering casually about the different points of interest and pointing out some of the newer pieces of intrigue that he thinks his great nephew will enjoy. And as hard as Dipper tries to focus on following and nodding along he can barely concentrate on his great uncle's words through the haze of pain he was drowning in.

After a few minutes of this that feel more like hours, Ford comes to a stop and looks back to Dipper, a frown speaking to deep worry on his face.

"Dipper, are you absolutely sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if you're ever hurt or sick, right?" Dipper had to near bite on the inside of his mouth to keep himself together. The genuine care his great uncle was showing him combined with the guilt he felt at ruining their walk on top of the pain that was still radiating through him made it hard to hold back the tears.

He wants to tell Ford that he was fine, maybe blame it on sleepiness again and keep walking, but a particularly sharp stabbing feeling hits and all he can do is lean pathetically against a nearby tree, trying to breathe through the sudden pain.

"Dipper! You need to tell me what's…" His great uncle's shout of alarm slowly trails off and it wasn't too long until the realization of why fills Dipper with pure shame. Running down his legs were bright red trails of his period blood.

He wants to disappear. He wants nothing more than a spontaneous bottomless pit to form underneath him and take him away right then and there. Unfortunately for him no such pits appear and he can only settle for locking his gaze onto the forest floor. Despite having outgrown the hero worship he held for his great uncle that fateful summer, Ford was still someone he held high respect and admiration for. And now that he's seen Dipper in such an embarrassing position - bleeding on himself in the middle of the woods - he doesn't know if he can ever face him again. He could only imagine the look of disappointment, disgust even.

His thoughts of self-loathing are cut off by a hand laid on his shoulder.

"Dipper, please look at me. I'm not mad at you, I just need you to tell me what's wrong." His great uncle's voice oddly seems to hold none of the disappointment or disgust he had expected. He chances a look up and Ford's expression was not one of frustration but one of a deep concern but also a look of knowing.

"It's… a lot to explain… can we go back to the Shack first?" He curses the way his voice wobbles as he voices this but Ford doesn't seem to mind, only nodding before helping him walk the short way back. No other words are exchanged on the way back and Dipper is quick to duck into the bathroom to clean himself up. A quick shower later and he leaves the bathroom to find a bottle of pain medication left on a nearby table along with a glass of water. A brief smile crosses Dipper's face as he can easily guess who left the items.

Soon enough the four Pines were all brought together in the kitchen as Dipper prepared for another difficult conversation, inwardly praying to a god he didn't believe in for things to go better the second time around.

"…My name wasn't always Dipper…" He slowly began, trying to relax his tense shoulders. "Growing up, I always felt like there was something wrong about me. I hated being called by my birthname, hated being called a girl. My parents would tell me that all girls feel that way, but it was more than that. Eventually I start to realize that I maybe wasn't a girl at all…" He chances a look back up at Stan and Ford to see their reactions. A part of him expected to see judgement but instead the two of them are attentive, waiting for Dipper to continue. Feeling a boost of confidence from this, he speaks again.

"I ended up discovering the term transgender, and right then I felt like things suddenly started to make sense. The way I've been feeling, the way I saw myself… and when my parents told me and Mabel that we were going to be going to visit a new town full of new people for the summer, I realized that was the perfect chance for me to try out being a boy for the first time. And that summer ended up being the first time in my life I felt like I was able to be myself." Just thinking about that first magical summer brought a smile to Dipper's face. He remembers the way his hands shook when he first introduces himself as Dipper. As Mabel's twin brother. Remembers the trials and tribulations he went through the summer, and yet despite it all he truly felt like he'd grown into a proud young man by the end of it all.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys sooner…" He finally says as he finishes his explanation. For a moment, the two older men seem to take this in before Stan speaks up.

"I'm glad you feel safe enough to tell us, kid, although I kinda knew you were trans already."

"Wait, you knew?!" Dipper shouts before he can stop himself. He suddenly starts to panic, wondering if he hadn't really passed as well as he thought he did. Stan quickly puts his hands up and puts his fears to rest as he adds in,

"I mean I was there when you two goobers were born! I'm not a spring chicken, Dipper. I've had my fair share of experiences with the gays and the queers. When you two got off the bus and you were introducing yourself as Mabel's twin brother Dipper, I thought to myself 'As long as the kid's happy, good on him!'"

"The concept of gender is, frankly, one that is much closer to a spectrum than most people realize. There are plenty of dimensions out there where gender is explored much more than here, for example I've been to one dimension where gender was traded with and bartered like a sort of currency!"

"What my nerd brother is trying to say," Stan finally cuts in, knowing Ford was likely to go on a full hour long tangent otherwise. "is that he's happy you felt safe enough to tell the both of us."

"Yes, of course, my boy!" A bright smile is spread across Dipper's face, the acceptance given from both his great uncles filling him with relief.

"See, Dipper? I just knew that our grunkles wouldn't have treated you like mom and dad did." His sister chimes in with her own knowing smile. Ford, however, quickly catches onto what she said.

"What do you mean 'like mom and dad', Mabel? Did your parents not take it well?" His question, although asked with no ill intentions, has the immediate effect of making both of the twin's moods fall. While Dipper shrinks in on himself, Mabel adopts a look of frustration and lets out a huff.

"Mom and dad are poopheads!" Ford and Stan both frown. That certainly didn't sound good. After a moment, Dipper speaks up.

"I… I hadn't told them about the whole 'being transgender' think before going to Gravity Falls. I was still just trying to figure it all out back then. Of course, they catch onto the new name I was using here. Not too long after me and Mabel came back they start questioning me about what was going on. Why I was hiding things from them…" He remembers that day all too well. Of being cornered with questions and not being able to rely on Mabel because she had been out with friends at the time. "I tried to explain to them how much happier I had been bit they wouldn't listen. They kept saying how their 'poor sweet daughter must have been brainwashed' and that 'it's just a phase you'll grow out of'…" Dipper then trailed off, his voice shaking more as he becomes more choked up. Mabel quickly scoots her chair closer, letting her brother lean on her for comfort.

"We hoped that they would end up coming around but they wouldn't even try to understand him. They kept using the wrong name and pronouns for him no matter how much we tried to correct them or ask them not to!" She angrily adds in. "One day they even told him that he should be grateful that he hadn't been thrown out!"

Knowing how unaccepted and uncared for their beloved nephew had been in the last ten months was already deeply troubling for Stan and Ford, but hearing these especially cruel words hit the two far too close to home. The hopes they had that Dipper and Mabel would at least have the caring and safe home that they never got were dashed, and they share a look of regret before turning to look at their niblings.

"Dipper, I… I'm so sorry your parents have been treating you like this. I had no idea."

"You're not going to send us back, are you?" Dipper asks quietly. At their great uncle's looks of confusion, Mabel explains.

"We… kind of didn't tell them we were visiting…" She admits as she diverts her eyes sheepishly.

"They tried to forbid us from coming back this summer, saying how this town 'corrupted me'," Her brother explains with air quotations and an eye roll. "So we both combined our allowances and bought some bus tickets without telling them." There it was.

This was certainly a difficult situation. It was only a matter of time before the twins' parents figured out where they went off too, and once they figured out that they were staying with Stan and Ford they would naturally demand they bring them straight back to California. And trying to keep them away could result in some legal trouble being sent their way.

And yet both Stanley and Stanford, unfortunately, had some personal experiences with being forced to hide who you were. Memories of hiding love letters, of repressing their true selves for fear of their old fashioned father finding out, and they refused to make their poor nephew suffer through the same type of hell. And thankfully, they had a whole town of people who would be willing to help them.

"Well there's no way I'm going to pay to be sending you dorks back, so it looks like you're stuck here." Stan declared gruffly, although it was obvious enough that he wanted his niblings to be at Gravity Falls just as much as the two of them wanted to be there.

"Dipper, in the time I've been back in this dimension I've seen you as nothing less than a brave and strong young man. And if your parents are too blinded by their own narrow-minded beliefs to see that, too, than at least know that you'll always be our amazing grandnephew." By now, Dipper was crying in earnest. Not the tears of frustration or sorrow that he had experienced all too often in Piedmont but tears of pure happiness. Stan and Ford both stand up and go to give their great nephew a hug.

"By the way, Dipper," Ford says after the hug ends. "I forgot to ask but did those pain meds I give you help.

"Oh, honestly I hadn't really thought about my cramps for a while, but now that I think about it they're much better. Thanks." Ford simply smiles.

"Don't mention it, my boy. It's the least I can do."

"If your cramps come back I probably got a heating pad somewhere in this place. Used it whenever my back hurt worse than usual." Stan chimes in.

"I heard there's going to be a cheesy movie marathon starting in a bit! Maybe we can grab some snacks, relax around Stan's chair and watch?" Dipper smiles at his sister's suggestion, feeling his appetite come back now that the worst of his pain was taken care of.

"Sounds good to me."

And so that's how the Pines family found themselves all settled around the living room, Dipper lounging comfortably on Stan's chair and Mabel settled on the floor while Stan and Ford sat leaned against the chair. While Ford and Dipper would take turns in pointing out the inaccuracies of the monster movies, ("Please, a tiny splinter like that would never take out that powerful of a vampire.") Stanley would more often make jokes about the cheesy effects ("Pshh, I could put together taxidermy parts that look more realistic than those werewolves!") and Mabel was happy to just happy to comment on dreamy actors and things she thought were cute. ("Aw, it's too bad that bat had to get shot, it was so adorable!") At one point Stan and Ford playfully argue over who would be able to defeat the most zombies which then devolves into the two throwing popcorn at each other.

And all the while a single thought stays in Dipper's head, bringing a sense of comfort with it: "I'm finally home."

»»⋅------ ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ---------►

#gravity falls #hurt dipper pines #dipper pines angst #pines family #dipper and ford bonding #ventfic #tw menstruation #tw implied child abuse #tw implied transphobia #mutt's writing

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tigre-edi-rawr · 4 months ago

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the chaos

This relationship is something that I have mentioned to be where I felt most loved. But also the first relationship where I felt jealous, unsecured and paranoid because there are so many red flags. I experienced breaking up with him because I saw nudes of women he flirted with in the past are still in his hidden files. But instead of fixing us, he went out to pick up a girl, go with them for a drink and send her home. There are many times where I saw him liking stories of girls in a bikini. There are times where I felt insecure and not enough.

I've had enough.

June 22-23, 2024.

Decided to join the La Union team building at work instead of locking myself in my bedroom and cry over spilled milk. I was single and determine to stay that way since I no longer find myself growing in that relationship. Or so I thought... Ended up drunk calling him after a day at LU, sent desperate texts but got no response at all. Too hurt, I deleted all traces of communication and ways to contact him. He replied back the next day, but I always immediately delete all reply and never read them. I returned to Laguna fully accepted that no one will wait for my return. I get it, I went to LU instead of fixing our relationship, his feelings are valid whether it's all ill towards me. I remember feeling so empty, I knew that I wanted to get drunk to immediately pass out when I get home. I texted my tita, asked her to arrange inuman session because I'm not okay and I wanted to drink to be numb. Lucky me, they are going in a small reunion with friends at their previous company to drink. I went along. But... not very lucky me, when we arrived, I saw that my past fling was there. Not that we talked or sat beside each other. There was no contact or even a single word exchanged but still, it's not a good angle. But fuck it, right? I'm there to get drunk, to numb all the pain. And I did, every sip tastes sweet with every song in the karaoke I sung while thinking of my ex. Who cares? I'm too hurt to give a damn. After that, I went home with my tita and his fiance.

June 24, 2024.

I woke up to a message from my ex. He wanted to fix us and was desperate to win me back. I am astonished because what the heck? I have to be wasted for two fucking days only to find out that he still wanted to fix us? That's ridicu lous. Besides, if he knew that I was with my ex fling last night in a resto bar, it will be impossible to accept me again even if I say that nothing happened. So I didn't reply. What's the point? I had to let him go. I was working that day, when he said, he was outside our home. He is asking me to come and talk to him. I remember him waiting for long because he really wanted to fix us. I went there, we talked. And I said that we don't want the same thing, that I'm sorry but I don't want to continue the relationship anymore. He is asking me if I still love him, but there's no way to answer that because I still do. I tried to escape and said "okay na ba? Alis nako." When I was about to open the door, he grabbed me in my arms and said "Wait. Wait lang. May request lang ako. Baka pwede kahit huling beses na payakap?" I felt like someone punched my heart. All I wanted was to hug him and say everything hurts. But I said "Ayoko." He started crying. As if my heart couldn't hurt more, I saw him now knowing what to do in that moment and looking helpless. I couldn't take the view, I said I have to go and I did. When I entered our home, I stopped and realized I don't want him to hurt like that. I will regret it to let him go, hurting like that. I went outside again and kissed him, hugged him tightly. We were okay. Not really, but we're back.

June 25-28, 2024.

We were back and trying to fix our relationship but it felt like it's no longer feasible. He changed, so did I. I barely return any texts, I will just say I'm awake, I'm eating, I'm working, I'll go to sleep. That went for days until I can no longer fool myself. I'm not happy anymore and whatever is it that I am feeling I knew it's no longer what's going to keep the relationship healthy. I broke up with him, again. He didn't want to, he was saying all this hypocrite shit about how he wants all of me and accepts everything no matter what he will still love him. To make him stop, I said, the night we were drinking I am with my ex-fling, he drove me home and I can't remember shit because I was drunk as fuck. I was thinking, if he can accept this lie, if he still want to make us work knowing I went out with some other dude when we were on a break... he meant no shit and really can't lose me. Funny, he said "Para saan pa? Kung totoo yan, maghiwalay nalang." Just like I thought. I can always accept him with all his micro-cheating but when it's vice-versa, that shit won't happen. I just laughed it all off and went on my day. He was nagging me about whether is it true or not. Because deep down, he knows me. I'm no cheater. Never been, never will. I know I can be such a bitch, but when I love, I love too hard and cheating will never be my thing. Ever. Deep down, I felt no responsibility to explain. Let him think what he wants to, I don't want to linked to him anymore. It's enough that he will stop and hate me. At least I can be all by myself now.

This is where all the betrayal has begun.

June 29, 2024.

No contact. I can still feel all the love I have for this person. I remember him as soon as I wake up until I fall asleep, which I struggle with by the way. We were in a resto bar, I'm with my two titas and one of their fiance. I'm really not drunk but it feels like that because the longing keeps intensifying every hour.

June 30, 2024.

I think that was almost 2 a.m. when I messaged my ex. "Oo o Hindi?" he replied back as soon I sent it so I felt like... wait, is he missing me too? Drunk me went to their house. I brought his clothes, using it as an excuse that I just want to bring it and take mine as well. My plan is just to see him and I'll be okay, I can go home. But he won't let me. Deep inside, I wanted it. I remember getting all my clothes inside his room, as I was folding them he said "Anong akala mo makakalabas ka dito?" I am playing dumb and just folding my clothes. Until he hugged me and we fell in his bed. "Miss na miss kita. Sobrang miss na miss kita." He was crying and refused to let me go all night. We woke up, not totally okay, both contemplating whether to fix it or not. It was all blurry. But all his actions meant he wanted to fix us and he still loves me. Or so I thought.

Girl's Instincts

After spending the whole day with him, he said that he will go out to eat with his friends and will go to the wake of his friend's father. I already knew. Something is up. All night and day his phone is with him. My intuition knew that there is some girl again. But since I wanted to fix us, it was something I chose to overlook? On our way to my house, I felt it. It's strange enough that he is glued to his phone, but the fact that he is not asking me to go eat with him and his friends is enough proof that it's not just suspicion. I already knew. But I can't confirm it, I need to check his phone. I decided to just get off the car but he messaged me "Nasan na kiss ko? Sayang naman toothbrush ko, hindi mo pala ako ikkiss." Stupid me went to him and kissed him. But this time, I confronted him. Bakit hindi mo ako isasama? Anong meron? Bakit hindi pwedeng magsama ng babae sa lamay? I had to many questions. All his answers, I realized now are just gaslighting. He wanted to be with his friends. He needs to be there for his bestfriend because the father died. He needs time alone, he wants to forget all our problems. I don't believe all those bullshit excuses. I said "Patingin ako ng phone mo." He won't give it. He said "Ayoko ng ganito tayo. Tuwing magiging okay tayo galing ng away, gusto mo check dito check diyan." That's when I knew I'm right. I feel it in my bones. So instead of accepting all these bullshits, I said "Sige, umalis ka na. Ayoko na." and left.

I remember crying and going insane in bed. I don't know what to do. My body is shaking. My tears are flooding. I wanted to scream, throw things and let all the pain out.

My thoughts and heart are fighting. I am trying to process everything and understand where he is coming from. But I can't. I tried asking him for help, to explain everything. If the love or respect is not there anymore, just for the sake of everything we have shared, I asked for the truth.

All I can do that time is accept everything even if it all doesn't make sense. I took a shower and after, it felt good. There is nothing I can do now, all I have to do is accept and move on.

-to be continued-

#life #2024 #romance

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lonewolfel · 1 year ago

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Fictober 2023 Day 6

Fandom: Avatar: the Last Airbender Prompt: 2 - "Don't worry, I got you." Rating: Mature Characters: Zuko, original character, Iroh, (Mentions of the gaang) Ship: N/A Warnings: starvation, torture (yes including blood), dehydration, hallucinations, forced to drink contaminated water/eat contaminated food, pee, poop, vomit, thoughts of death, drugging (Please let me know if I'm missing something. I didn't have time to reread this before publishing.) Notes: So uhm my phone got stolen and I'm taking it out on Zuko. Sorry, not sorry. Sorry about the delay due to the above-mentioned phone stealing I have been busy so I didn't have time to finish this before today.

One moment Zuko was in his office reviewing the final details of a trading agreement and the next he was on a cold rocky surface with bending suppressant cuffs on.

The room was pitch black making it impossible to tell where he was. Due to the cuffs, he wasn't able to feel where the sun was in the sky.

Zuko tried to stand but his limbs were too wobbly over what happened to support his weight. His head pounded while it dealt with whatever toxin he had in his system. He laid there awake wondering when someone would come to see him.

There was the sound of metal screeching and then a small amount of light entered the cell likely through the small opening of the moved metal.

In the light, he was able to slightly make out his surroundings. The cell he was in was bare and only just big enough for Zuko to lie down in.

"Oh, good you're awake," a man said.

"Where am I?" Zuko tried to demand but it was little more than a rasp.

"You're new home," the man said.

Then there was something that blocked out part of the light. Then the sound of something ploping onto the ground.

"Eat up," the man said.

With that, the metal screeched shut blocking out the light and leaving Zuko in the darkness.

Zuko crawled over to see what was dumped into his cell. He felt that it was rice and there wasn't anything to eat it with or even a plate for it to be on.

Disgust-filled Zuko. He was not going to eat rice that had been dumped onto the floor.

That resolve lasted two maybe even 1 day when Zuko was feeling too delirious to ignore the cold stale dirty rice that was placed into his cell. It was gross but it was better than not eating for however long he hadn't eaten before.

The worst was when he was given water. Like the food, the guard just dumped it in and then Zuko had to suck it off the ground. He knew exactly how unsanitary that was but they gave him just enough water to keep him alive so in his dehydration he didn't care.

He also learned that there was nowhere in the cell to go to the bathroom beside the floor. He tried his best to keep it in a corner but there were moments where it was clear that it didn't matter and Zuko tried his best not to think about that when the food and water arrived.

Time began to hold no meaning. Without any light or the sun, Zuko couldn't tell how much time was passing. He knew that they waited days to give him food and water based on how weak, hungry, and thirsty he always felt.

After the fourth feeding and the third water dump the door fully opened.

Zuko scrambled back covering his eyes after so long in the darkness. The guard quickly shoved a gag into his mouth and a blindfold to cover his eyes. He then hauled the teen up.

Zuko's entire body shook with the movements. He hadn't managed to be able to stand on his own even with the cell wall's support.

Zuko was dragged down a hallway and the movement made him far too dizzy to even attempt to remember the halls they were leading him down.

Finally, they shoved him to lie down on his back on a table. They then strapped his hands and feet to it so the teen couldn't move. They didn't remove the blindfold or the gag.

They began to slowly cut into him. The cuts were shallow and there was no risk of death from damage but it was slow and a lot especially for his starved dehydrated body. When he felt his blood drip down his skin it felt just as sluggish as Zuko felt.

They did this until they were bored and then dragged him back to his cell. They never once talked besides that first day.

It was irregular when they took him and each time a different torture would be bestowed upon him, cutting beatings, burning as long as it didn't threaten to kill him they did it.

His cell was never cleaned. He was sure that it smelled awful for them but they didn't seem to care.

The infection began to set in. He was also beginning to lose his inner flame.

Firebenders weren't supposed to go this long without firebending. The longest Zuko had gone was two months after that fateful Agni Kai. It wasn't until Iroh had bugged him so much that he angrily firebent and later on forced himself to firebend. There wasn't even the sun to slow the process down.

It was pure agony the feeling of freezing due to his inner flame going out and the burning stings of pain that he had to constantly endure along with a fever.

Zuko then began to hallucinate.

Uncle would say proverb or offer tea. Aang would try to persuade him to play a game with him. Sokka would just tell jokes. Katara would say something about the way he was being treated and how awful it was. Toph would talk to him just like how they used to back when she was staying in the palace for a while.

They never stayed long or Zuko never stayed unconscious long enough for them to.

That was the point that Zuko knew that he was going to die. That he will die here alone in this dark cell covered in his blood, vomit, shit, and piss.

What a pathetic way to go!

There was a loud bang and suddenly there was a bright light. There was the sound of coughing.

Zuko closed his eyes against the sudden influx of light. He heard footsteps but he couldn't grip onto consciousness for much longer.

Before he lost consciousness he heard his hallucination uncle say, "Zuko, don't worry, I got you."

#avatar the last airbender #fictober23 #atla #zuko #uncle iroh

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transmogrified-in-the-void · 2 years ago

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I'm Not Okay (I Promise) (I'm Lying)

So here's the tl;dr for this essay/creative nonfiction piece. I first heard im not okay when i was at my worst socially, physically, and mentally. it became my gateway into a wonderful community, it was the catalyst for the most fun writing project ive ever been in, and single-handedly saved my life.

there will be discussions of minor eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, self harm, and toxic relationships.

i would also like to thank Joey @space-bones-official Rae @spacingout Naima @ianthe-the-dyke and biz @gayslutraytoro for being the people that helped bring me to where I am today. No matter what happens, I will never forget you.

September 2019. The beginning of my sophomore year of American high school. The small group of three friends I had made in my final year of junior high had increased near tenfold. No longer did we need the end of long tables filling a room that had become obsolete, and instead almost thirty people pushed two large semicircle tables together to sardine themselves in the largest social circle of the cafeteria.

Despite being close to the largest and loudest personalities of the group, it was very rarely that I was heard without acting preposterous or "insane". And even then, I would have to push my vocal boundaries to make a tiny dent in the cacophony of discussion I could barely participate in anyways.

This was the year where it became more apparent the narrow scope of my knowledge. My closest friends were talking about games and movies and music I had never even heard of, and could barely remember due to the amount of noise that took up the space in my head. Even if it was something I understood, I never understood enough to contribute, or I was never loud enough to have my contributions matter.

This special brand of isolation coalesced into a poisonous and slow-killing method of attention seeking. I started to cause small amounts of pain to myself in public. I had been hitting myself and causing myself unseen harm much earlier, but I started to pick and scratch at my skin, or stab a pen into my arm until there was a large and irritated black spot. When that didn't work, I started to not eat. Maybe, I had thought, maybe they'll notice now.

They didn't. Looking back, they wouldn't have noticed if I had said it out loud, but it's hard to see the situation when you're drowning in it.

Then came September. One of my best friends, J, had decided to join us and not sit with the band that day.

I can't remember the discussion, only that I had turned to someone next to me and said something, only for them to start talking to someone else right afterwards. Not even a moment passed where it seemed that I was heard. For the first moment, I felt like I was truly alone.

In the minute that lasted eternity, it felt like everything that was real had started to fall away. If I couldn't be heard, was I even real? Did I even matter?

And it was J's earbud being placed in my ear, and the whispered statement that started my spider's thread escape.

"This song is about having a shitty experience in high school." He had said. "I think you'll like it."

And then I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance started playing. My life would never be the same.

I went home and listened to the entirety of The Black Parade while cleaning my room. It was good background noise, something that I could listen to but not need to focus on because it was new. I remember finding the time that Blood played (1 minute 30 seconds, a discovery that brought me much pride). After that, I put My Chemical Romance to the back of my mind, where I was aware but not truly into it, and wouldn't pick it up fully until early November of 2019, shortly after the reunion.

I can remember the reason why, too. I had, by that point, met Joey and remade my Tumblr to get away from the toxic online situation I had found myself in, and I found a post that said that MCR had gotten back together. I told one of my closer friends this, and their response was along the lines of "Why does that matter?".

The sudden turning down of what I had said sent me into a minor spiral. Why does it matter? Why do they matter to me?

I went back to the first song I ever heard, and it made more sense to me. I ended up playing I'm Not Okay (I Promise) for three days straight, before venturing into the rest of Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.

My journey from there was much more intense and streamlined than before. I listened to Danger Days next, and loved the more synth-pop sound and vocal performance (especially as a vocalist). From there, I listened to The Black Parade, and found that, of all the albums I had heard in my life, that was the one that fit my emotional state the best.

It went stagnant, and I wouldn't gain the confidence to listen to Desert Song or I Brought You My Bullets until a month after March 2020, when I started to make some of the most influential and closest friends I will ever have in my life.

Quarantine was what started my deep dive into the My Chem fandom, leading to one very important Tumblr post. I had made a fun post talking about a theoretical coming-of-age school drama TV show without the bad tropes based around the music video of I'm Not Okay (I Promise). My good and wonderfully talented friend Grody said that they were interested, and thus started a very fun writing project.

I won't speak on it long, it's not that important to the overall story, but the I'm Not Okay Projekt was the most fun and innovative writing project I have ever had.

I stopped listening to My Chemical Romance somewhere near the end of 2021. I don't remember why, it just happened, but it does bring me to today.

This past week I've been listening back to most of the MCR discography. I say most because I had been putting off I'm Not Okay (I Promise) because I didn't know how I would react to hearing the song that saved me from living in such isolation, a state where I probably would have ended up dead.

Today I listened to it.

I listened to it through headphones one of my best friends gave me when I lost mine a few weeks ago, running to my first and only class of the day, knowing that afterwards I would be hanging out with my friends.

Listening to a song that resonated with me so strongly that it single-handedly changed the course of my life three years after the fact, in a completely different situation, with completely different context, it still has the emotional weight. Not the same kind of weight, but the same weight nonetheless.

Instead of the weight of isolation and self-hatred and the shittiness that is high school (and that was my sophomore year), it was the weight of an old friend. Still heavy and draped on my shoulders, but this time it was spread out. Warm. The sensation of nostalgia mixed with waking up on a winter day.

Maybe I'm not okay. Maybe I'm lying. Regardless, I am a better person because of the domino effect that this song started.

#my chemical romance #personal essay #writing #p bangs the keys

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chaos-writes · 3 years ago

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Spoiled! A Rikiya Yotsubashi x reader fic

Warnings: so basically the reader gets called "little one" a lot. Call it what you want, but it is not CG/L (at least the kink side of it. It is more or less the therapeutics of it). There is a lot of softness and tenderness, and there is a bath scene. Not s*xual, but a bath nonetheless. Slight angst. Lots of comfort. Reader has a job (anywhere, doesn't matter) and there are descriptions of physical pain. It is so comfortable and fluffy that I have literally fallen asleep writing it. Twice.

Word count: ~2k

"Hey Rikiya, I'm home!" He was sitting on his squishy armchair, in gym shorts and an undershirt, hair down and sleepily flipping through the newspaper. He turned to look at me and gave a lazy smile. "Hello, Little One." I just got home from a long day at work and could quite literally pass out. "My nerves are shot. I had such a bad day today." His smile faltered a little, concern beginning to nibble at his expression.

He gently laid the newspaper he was holding onto the coffee table in front of him and motioned for me to lay on the couch next to his armchair. He sat a soft pillow down on the end of the couch closest to him. I layed down on the leather couch and took a deep breath. He stroked my hair a few times before planting a kiss to my temple.

"I know how hard you have been working lately, my dear. I want you to understand that it won't go unnoticed by me. You deserve so much, Little One. Now... what can I do to help make you feel better?"

"I would love to just rest. I barely have any energy left and every customer that came by had such an attitude and my boss was so mean today and- and..." tears welled and bit the corners of my eyes hard as my voice began to crack. Rikiya slid off the armchair and kneeled by my side, turning me onto my side and hugging me ever so tightly.

He then pulled me up and sat on the couch, having me straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. I was only able to get a small glimpse of the tears shining in the corners of his eyes before I was enveloped in a pair if strong arms and given a warm soft chest to rest my head and cry into.

He spoke softly into my hair, "It's all right, Sunshine. It's okay to cry. I want nothing more than to take all of that pain away from you." He went on and rocked side to side as I silently sobbed into the crook of his neck and sniffled. "You're allowed to have these big feelings and show that you're having them. You're allowed to take up space and express how you feel. Let it all out, darling. Everything is going to be okay."

He held me until I no longer sniffled, cooing at and comforting me. He continued to encourage me to relieve all my worries from my mind. After what felt like ages, I sat up and he carefully cradled my face in his hands. "Are you okay? Do you feel a little better now?" Rikiya's tears dried and stained his cheeks now. His eyes spoke a million words of sorrow and shined brighter than I have ever seen before. I reached up to wipe his cheeks as gently as I could and rested my hands on his chest as I spoke.

"Yeah. I feel better. I dont know what made me do that, normally I can handle it..."

"It's alright, Little One," He said. He caressed my arms and waist and spoke, "You were probably bottling it up without realizing. You know it's always okay to come to me to talk, alright?"

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too, baby. Let's get you something to eat. You must be so hungry after such a long day." My hands traveled from his chest to my stomach. It's true, I thought. I forgot to eat…

I climbed off of his lap as he sat up and unlocked his phone. He pulled up one of those food delivery apps and leaned closer to me. "What looks good? Ooh, I know! How about pho? I think some warm food is what you need."

"That sounds pretty good right now. Can we get seafood rolls too?"

"I was just about to ask if you wanted some. I love those things!" He giggled and smiled his dorky smile at me. I giggled back. He placed the order and typed in the information.

"You know we can split it, right, Rikiya?"

"Nonsense. Tonight is about you, Little One. Don't worry about money or having to pay for food. You've dealt with enough today." He kissed my forehead and closed his phone.

"What do you say we watch a movie while we wait for the food? Your pick." He turned on the TV and flipped through the subscriptions. "How about one of those Tim Burton movies you like?"

"Yeah! What about The Corpse Bride?"

"Of course Dear!" He smiled widely.

About a half hour later, our food arrived. He walked out the living room, answered the door and thanked the delivery person. He returned with two small bags, one for each of us.

I started to slide down the couch to sit at the table, but Rikiya stopped me. He grabbed a cushion from underneath the table and took my hand in his. He gently helped me down onto the cushion and set up my food for me.

We ate silently with the movie playing in the background. I noticed in my peripheral vision that Rikiya was smiling to himself and looking at me every time I paid more attention to the TV rather than my food.

He started to play with my cheeks and hair and smiled. He gingerly kissed my cheek and. I giggled and quickly dipped my finger in the warm broth. I swiped it onto the tip of his nose and we laughed.

After a few moments of silence, he grabbed onto my hand and gave a reassuring squeeze. In that moment I knew I was going to be okay.

I ate slowly and savored every bite and slurp of those noodles. They felt so wonderful finally filling up my empty stomach and they warmed me right up. I have never felt so relaxed.

As the end credits rolled around, I started to pick up all of the trash left on the table and collected it in one of the takeout bags it all came in. I hummed along with the soundtrack of the credits and wasn't aware of my surroundings in the slightest.

I heard Rikiya get up from the table and felt his warmth as he sat himself behind me so that I sat between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into a warm and comforting embrace. He nuzzled into the crook of my neck and pressed small, gentle kisses to my jaw and shoulder. I reached over and started rubbing and patting the side of his leg.

We sat in a comfortable silence as the movie finally finished and embraced each other for a while. I leaned back into Rikiya. "Rikiya?"

"Yes, Little One?"

"I'm starting to hurt again. The food and everything was able to distract me but now I need to actually relieve the pain..."

"I have an idea. I'll run a warm bath for you and set up your favorite aromatherapy things. Does lavender sound good, Darling?"

"That sounds wonderful, Rikiya." I gave him a sleepy smile.

He helped me up slowly and sat me down on the couch. He grabbed a blanket off the armchair and draped it over me to keep me warm while he handled everything. He kissed my head ever so gently and got to work, walking to the bathroom and setting everything up.

Rikiya laid everything out on the counter so it was reachable from the bathtub. Lavender and cedarwood lotion, gentle shampoo, conditioner, lavender bubble bath, and rosehip and lavender candles. He grabbed some fresh extra-soft towels out of the closet and prepared them to be thrown in the dryer about halfway through the bath. He poured the bubble bath, lit the candles, finished running the bath and dimmed the lights. It was sunset, so it was still light enough to be able to navigate the bathroom and the different products.

I was laying on the couch, dozing off, when I felt a pair of hands on my blanket. Then, one was interlocking beneath my knees and the other around my back. I lazily opened my eyes and looked up at my carrier. He cooed at me and smiled.

"So precious, my Sunshine."

I yawned and reached up to pet his cheeks while we were on our way to the bathroom. Soon enough, he stepped through the doorway of the bathroom and gently and slowly stood me up on my feet.

Rikiya held onto my arms gently and spoke earnestly, "If you're okay with it, I'd like to stay in here with you to make sure you get to relax fully. The last thing you need is to worry about washing. You're in pain."

"Okay. No funny business, though," I giggled. He smiled and shook his head. "No. No funny business. I just want you to relax. You had a hard week as it is."

I undressed and got ready to get into the bathtub. Rikiya grabbed my hand and helped me down into the warm, inviting bath. I slid down and took a deep breath. "Perfect. You're such a wonderful being. So precious, so valuable, you're worth it all Little One... everything."

"You have no idea how good of a boyfriend you are, Rikiya."

He… winced?

He spoke carefully, "Thank you, I really do appreciate that. But something just isn't quite right with the term… boyfriend."

"Oh… did you have something else in mind, then?"

"What about 'partner'?" He smiled and caressed my cheek gently.

"That's fine. As long as we're both comfortable, I guess." I played with the bubbles and swiped some on his hand. He laughed and we both fell into a comfortable, sleepy silence.

He grabbed the stack of soft towels he put out earlier and ran them to the dryer. He came back as quickly as he left and went back to kneeling next to me.

"Alright," he said, reaching for the different bottles. "Time to start washing."

He grabbed a cup, filled it, and began wetting my hair with the water. He filled the palm of his hand with some shampoo and gently lathered and massaged it through my scalp. He smiled and kissed my forehead. He tilted my head back and poured the warm water over my hair to rinse, continuing to massage in between pours.

He cleaned my hair completely of suds and oil and went to work on conditioning. He gently combed the conditioner through and worked it into my hair before rinsing throroughly. Rikiya then grabbed a wash rag and rubbed some moisturizing body wash into it. He rubbed my arms and legs and back, and continued washing me to his standard of cleanliness.

I continued to play with the bubbles and talk to Rikiya as the water cooled down from how long the bath had been.

"You're spoiling me, Rikiya," I said, petting his hair and caressing his cheek and neck.

"Well, that makes two of us, then. I feel so spoiled just being around you." He smiled and lifted the drain plug. I smiled and yawned. "Let's get you dried off and in some warm pajamas, okay?

"Okay."

After he dried me off with a warm towel and pulled on my pajamas, he guided me along and walked me to bed, which has been made, and complete with a cup of chamomile tea and heating pad waiting for me. He picked me up and gently laid me down. He pulled the fluffy blankets over me, tucked me in, and kissed my forehead.

Rikiya turned on the lamp and turned the bedroom lights off. He tugged off his undershirt and gently climbed into bed by my side. "I love you so much darling. You are my world."

"I love you too, Rikiya."

#rikiya yotsubashi #redestro x reader #redestro #youstubashi rikiya #re-destro #re-destro x reader #mha redestro #bnha redestro

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yandere-wishes · 4 years ago

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Sacrificial Bride Part 1//Twisted Wonderland X Reader//

Alright well, that's enough writing for the next few days if you excuse me I'm going to go sulk in my corner. Huge thanks to @softyswork who’s story about reader being sent to Malleus as a bride inspired this series. Also, I REALLY want to make some sort of modern-day Frankenstein it would be an amazing scientific breakthrough! You'll understand what I mean when you get to Idia's part lol.

💚🐉Malleus Draconia🐉💚

It was a common rumor around your village that ever since the death of the sleeping princess your settlement had never been the same. For you, this was nothing more than a fairy tale meant to spark a scrap of hope in the hearts of naive, suffering children who were still too young to fully understand why their fathers never returned from their hunting trips or why there was barely anything to eat for dinner.

Every time you heard this dreaded tail, you couldn't help but scuff. For as long as you've been alive your town had been in utter disarray and chaos. Monsters from the woods -what the town's folk called "fae"- attacked the village daily. Stealing jewels, destroying homes, sometimes even swallowing children or sucking the blood of the dormant. There was also the looming threat of the green flames. Blazing emerald fires who couldn't be subdued by neither water nor dirt. They advanced further into the territory of the village by each full cycle of the moon. Leaving behind in their trail, thick impenetrable thorn bushes that had taken the homes of many and the lives of many more.

Awful, dreaded creatures those fae where...

But alas you did not yet know just how cruel they could be.

On another periodic morning, your younger sister jolted you awake, dragging you to the town center before you got a chance to change out of your nightgown.

In the center of the square was short man..no...not a man you noticed his pointed drawn back ears. "Fae" you gasped under your breath. But unlike the monstrous fairies that ravished your town taking on the appearances of trees and woodland creatures, this one resembled a boy of 15. The young-looking male began to speak, his voice was clear like crystals, and to his tone bats began to flock overhead. "Truly dreadful, these fairy folk are" your sister uttered in terror as she buried her face in your side.

"Heed my words, mortals. The young prince of thorns has decided to take a wife. By the setting of the sun a full day from today, two of his guards will come to collect your offering. If you chose to disregard this Wa-- friendly advice, then what is left of your town will be decimated before the end of summer. Your children eaten, wives imprisoned and husbands killed!" An unsteady hush rippled through the crowd. Some hothead youths began to throw rocks at the stranger only for the bats hovering above to shield him from the stones. Mothers hugged their children close begging for the man to "just leave".

"If" the man's voice rose once more like a cadaver emerging from the grave " my young master is pleased with your sacrifice than we shall reward you! Bring good health and prosperity to your otherwise sick and decaying village." His last words melted into the open air before he vanished in a cloud of squealing bats and ebony smoke.

The town's folk erupted in screeches, cursing at their deities while simultaneously praying to any god that would listen.

"Help us!"

"save us!"

"Don't let them take our daughters!"

The screams escalated to the point where you had to cover your ears with your shaking hands. Your eyes scanning each of the villager's faces, a pathetic lot they were, you thought to yourself. Scared by the words of a young magician. In a flash, your heart sped up, adrenaline pumping through your veins, as you marched to the center square where the boy had been mere moments ago. You stood tall, cupping your hands over your mouth.

"Listen well you disquiet, mindless lot!"

All eyes turned to you. Some holding looks of confusion, whilst others harbored glances of hope.

"This fae is lying! No way will they be satisfied with just one measly girl! No matter who we sacrifice to their so-called master, they'll still come after us! They'll still destroy our village! Let's not be stupid! Let's find a way to barricade the city instead of arguing over who to sacrifice!"

For an endless second all was quite. It was like the world had stopped turning, frozen in its place in the universe trying to decide what to do.

Then it happened,

Chants reverberating through the air

"Sacrifice her!" "Sacrifice her!"

"Sacrifice her!"........................

WHAT!

NO!

DID THOSE MORONS NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD YOU SAID!

The crowd started advancing. Eyes locked on your figure like those of a leopard on its prey. Their mouths were all a gap, chanting the words "sacrifice" over and over again. From behind the mob, your eyes locked with your sister's. You could practically feel the despair rolling off her figure as she covered her eyes and fell to her knees, her whole body rattling with a sort of distant rage...

A full day....it's funny how time passes all so quickly no matter what you do. Day in and day out nothing changes, pain is still pain, laughter is still laughter. Time just keeps slipping from between your fingers like sand. Even in the direst of times, Time doesn't show mercy, never once does it cease. It just ticks and ticks away until the inevitable moment arrives.

Your sister and aunt -the only two relatives that you hadn't lost to the fae- were in charge of preparing you for your so-called "wedding". Since your town was poor and isolated from other civilizations there wasn't much they could do to enhance your beauty. Smashing some berries to add color to your lips -and fervently ravishing the remains- using some coal to add shade behind your eyes, as well as around them and patting the dust of rose petals against your cheek. By the end, you hardly recognized the person staring back from the mirror. Sure the adjustments were minor but this was the most stunning you'd ever looked. "Is it almost time" your voice quivered, failing to hide the tears that began to fall. "Please don't cry sweetheart, we don't have any more coal to fix your eyes with." Your aunt's tone was monotone almost bordering on heartless. You couldn't really blame her, she'd gotten so used to having her loved ones plucked from her. One more would be no different. Sniffing as to keep the tears at bay, you nodded slowly. Your glossy eyes locked with your aunt's you could see the same fear and exhaustion in her fading irises as the night her son was slaughtered in front of her.

"Just a few reminders" your sister's voice was cheery like the chirping of early morning birds, but her face mimicked that of a kicked puppies. "Remember when the prince...fae...when he..you know...Oh, Lord please tell me he won't" She was shivering again. Her face twisted in horror. You knew what she was thinking, she was imagining you laying in the bed of that...that thing. She was imagining him entering you, kissing up and down your neck. Leaving patches of red skin over smooth flesh, bruises wherever his clawed hands touched you. She was imagining what was no doubt going to happen to you tonight...

the mere thought made bile rise to your throat.

"Darling, just keep saying how much you like it. It's all any man wants to hear." again your aunt or rather her lackluster form of speech was the rope binding you to your sanity.

"Do fae even have...those parts like humans do?" Your sister asked, only to be met with a glare from your aunt. "Stop wasting time on pointless questions! Hurry up and see if this dress fits your sister."

Sure enough, as you were escorted to where the thorn bushes met the village, two men, one standing tall and proud, whilst the other looked like he may topple over from fatigue at any moment, were awaiting you.

The green-haired man let out a haughty laugh, his blazing eyes scanning you from head to toe. "She's hardly worthy of the young master!" His dreadful voice was like the booming of thunder clouds. "It doesn't matter, Malleus-sama needs to be wedded off quickly so he can produce an heir. None of us are getting any younger by standing here debating the "worthiness" of yet another measly human" the silver-haired male's voice was the exact opposite of his comrades, his voice was soft and breathy like light drizzle after a storm.

The green-haired man looked ready to argue once more, but before he could open his mouth, his violet-eyed counterpart waved something thin in the air casing a pathway to open between the hedges.

It was dark between the brambles. The air was thick, stuffy, every breath was a struggle. Although it seemed neither of your traveling buddies minded the discomfort. Did fae even need air to survive?

After what could have been no less than a couple of hours, your small group made it to a large clearing where only a few rays of the sun leaked through the thick smoky clouds. Miss matched flowers in shades of grey littered the rocky barren ground. Maybe at some point, this place had been beautiful, stunning even...but whenever that time had been it was long gone now.

As you ventured farther into this monochrome land of loss and sorrow, the three of you approached a castle. It towered over everything else, grim in all its glory. "Young master Malleus is awaiting you inside..." The green-haired male's voice trailed off as his speech was interrupted by the deafening creaking of the doors parting open. Without another word the two men dragged you inside, pushing you through spiral staircases and long bleak passageways. Until you arrived at a lavish-looking room, a large throne sitting smugly in the front of the room. It's black, spiked appearance was enough to make you gasp in horror, you didn't desire to meet the monster that perched atop that throne. "Don't be so afraid." the silver-haired man whispers, his head is almost resting on your shoulder. "Malleus-sama is kind and fair. He is sure to love you better than any human ever could." you catch a hint of nostalgic sadness in the last part, like a long lost part of the lavender eyed boy's past caught in his throat like a glass shard.

Trumpets roared through the room blaring as two men, one short and fickle whilst the other tall and brooding walked in. "Malleus~" The short one sang as they both stopped in front of you "Say hello to your lovely new wife." the tall man's emerald eyes landed on you. His lips parted in a threatening smile...or maybe it was a smirk? He didn't seem to be too good at displaying emotions. Slowly he descended onto one knee, slipping your hand into his and kissing the top lightly.

"Hello, my darling little wife."

🧡🦁Leona Kingscholar🦁🧡

The After Glow Savanna was an absolute hell to be born in if your family did not belong to some royal inner court class. The endless days spent scavenging for scraps of food, walking miles for a simple glass of water, had become a sort of broken, habit beaten into the residents of the smaller less fortunate districts.

Eventually, you too would follow in your parent's footsteps, working odd jobs around the neighborhood, getting married to some guy, having kids, and giving them the same dreary life your parents had given you. It was simple -miserable- but simple never the less. In an odd way, you found a sort of comfort in how everything was set in stone. How you'd suffer through a few years then die of starvation or some disease in your husband's arms.

But little did you know that the only comfort you had in your horrible life was also going to be swiped from you.

When Ruggie, a dear childhood friend of yours returned from his prestigious school for the winter holidays you were overjoyed! A week with your best friend was the greatest gift you could ask for! But that excitement soon dulled when he announced to the neighborhood what the royal family had planned for the underdeveloped parts of the country.

"They want to demolish the homes and build parks and shopping strips instead"

The people of your tiny community gasped, shock and hopelessness mixing over their dirty, worn out faces. Some older siblings shielded the ears of their younger kin, some mothers hugged their children closer to their chests. "They can't do that to us!" Your voice was like a beacon through the thick fog of confusion. "We can't let them!" You turned to Ruggie who was seated next to you. His blue-grey eyes held a foreign sadness that you had never seen before. He was hiding something...something so grim that he was forced to shove it into the depths of his soul, locking it up and throwing away the key.

"There is a way..."

For such a hopeful phrase, Ruggie's tone harbored no happiness. You could practically see the tears that were clouding his beautiful eyes. "Tell us" someone from the crowd demanded, others soon joined in with their own chants. For a long moment, Ruggie said nothing, the shouts of despair falling on deaf ears.

"If.." his voice trailed off, as his gaze grew distant.

"If someone from the neighborhood were to marry the second prince..." Gasps of fear filled the air. Even the mere mention of the second prince's name was enough to send chills down people's spins.

"Then they could, as the newly appointed princess, convince the royal family and counsel to scrap this monstrous plan." No one uttered another word. No one was brave enough to face the man who could destroy anything with a simple touch.

But the sake of these people, people who had nothing but their families and a muddy roof over their head was on the line.

Do something, a tiny voice in your head screamed, save them, it begged. You shifted your head so to get a glimpse of Ruggie's face. "I-" you began but were cut off before you could even finish.

"I know you would say that."

His voice broke over every syllable. He knew you would give up your depressing nostalgia for the sake of others. Life in the castle would be hell, being married to that monster would be something worst than the dwellings of the devil.

It was a speedy arrangement, so fast that your head didn't have time to process anything. In the end, it almost seemed like the royal family was desperate to find a spouse for their youngest son.

Just marry him! Was what all the absentee looks told you.

Early that morning, Ruggie had dragged you to the castle, all tears, and grumbles. The palace guards let him in with no restrain, it almost felt like he'd been here before. Your childhood friend led you to a room in the further corner of a grand hall. He told you to stay outside as he went in to chat with the prince. Moments later the newly appointed king and queen came to usher you into a privet room and discuss the marriage. Not an hour later your fate had been sealed, you'd be married off to prince Leona tomorrow at sunrise. For "historical purposes" your neighborhood would be preserved and even taken care of. 'Historical purposes' you thought 'more the like a bribe to get you to marry this beast.

that night you were dragged this way and that by the queen herself. Taken for fitting after fitting. Trying on hundreds of wedding dresses who's prices could feed every mouth in your neighborhood for months! "Leona isn't very classy" the queen sighed in disappear. "He would probably prefer you to be in something laxer, shorter if you will" the tailors ran around trying to find something that would fit her vague description, as you stood facing her royal highness.

"What's he like?" you asked soullessly

"Spoiled, although not as heartless as the rumors make him out to be" She didn't seem to like giving straight answers

"will he harm me? It was an honest question, although the lack of thinking it took before the queen replied made your heart skipped a beat.

"Quite possibly, he is rather...aggressive at times. Just don't let his degrading comments get to you. He's not used to being around people"

The more she described the second-born prince the more it seemed she was actually speaking of some feral dog that had raised in isolation.

Oh, how doomed you were.

The wedding was even faster than the preparation. Ruggie walked you down an aisle of flowers, walking over the petals, killing them once and for all, ending their pointless existence. You stood by your self at the altar awaiting your husband to be. It took a rather long time before the doors were flung open and the king waltzed in carrying his struggling brother under his arm. "No need to worry, Leona was taking one of his catnaps again and forgot about today's events" the king announced, in what could only be described as a mock lively tone.

How on earth does someone forget their wedding! This prince really wasn't a typical human...heck you where beginning to think that the feral dog would have made a better groom.

snap, snap

A few magazine pictures here, a couple of family photos there...

Everything was so bright and loud...

right before you and the second prince were thrown into the darkness of his room. In the obscurity, you could ONLY make out the glowing of his emerald eyes.

You could feel him shifting closer, all the while you took shaking steps backwards. " I thought wives were supposed to leap into the arms of their husbands? Tell me little herbivore do I frighten you?"

Your voice refused to leave your throat, too afraid to come into contact with the prince.

"What's the matter? Did they not teach you to speak in on the streets you grew up on. Poor thing~"

Leona pounced across the room, tackling you to the ground. His sheer weight pinning you to the carpeted floor. The sound of fabric tearing echoed through the silence.

How careless these royal were was the only intelligible thought that came to your frenzied brain.

Goosebumps littered your skin as Leona's claws cut into your flesh. His lips kissed over each wound as he made his way up to your cherry painted lips.

"You look so cute, you know, like a little mouse about to get devoured by a starving lion."

💙💀Idia Shroud💀💙

The rhythm of his heartbeat was slowing down, it felt like the patter of ants atop one's flesh. He was dying...this was an irreversible fact. The love of your life was dying and there was nothing you could do but sit idly by and watch the life fade from his pale bruised face. Your thumb ran over his knuckles in robotic-like strokes. Hours had passed, you'd shed all the tears that you had. He was gone...that was all there was to it.

For a hopeless second, you flicked your eyes to the open window on the opposite side of the room, There was never any sun on the island of lamination but regardless today seemed brighter than any other day. "How cruel" you muttered in a deadpan voice. Outside something...or better yet...someone was running through the fields, chasing what looked like a butterfly. The young child had blazing blue hair a symbol of the Shroud family...

THE SHROUD FAMILY

Your breath hitch in your lungs, your heart began to pound furiously in your chest. They could help you though hopefully. There family where distant relatives of the god of the underworld and a few years back -to your regulation- the hair of the family had been able to semi revive his younger brother. If he was able to bring back a child from the dead than surly they would have no problem returning your lost lover to you.

Your eyes waltz over his dormant face one last time before you got up and ran for the door.

"This is all for you my love, all of this is for you"

The Shroud family mansion was located at the top of one of the many hills that plagued the island. It was a dark grisly building that resembled the castles from old tales, where monsters laid dormant. Rumors spiraled around the rural civilization, some saying that the family was cursed by the lord of the dead, whilst others claimed that the shroud family were the long lost descendants of the lord of the dead and the maiden of spring. The curse had been placed on the family by the temperamental mother of the maiden of spring, anathematizing the family to be plagued with death and disappear for the rest of eternity.

Regardless of what their misfortune was, they may very well be the last people on earth who could help you. Surely if the family had brought back their youngest than they could bring back your lover!

You knuckles tapped furiously at the old metal doors of the frightful residence. The rhythm was unkept, unsteady, it's mere sound radiated urgency.

"PLEASE HELP ME"

Your throat burned as you screamed out those three lousy words.

After what felt like forever, the doors cracked open, revealing a tall man obscured by the shadows. Any light that touched the interior of the house seemed to die acidity, making peering inside nearly impossible.

"What business do you have?" The man's voice was croaky as if his vocal cords hadn't been used in years. For a split second, you closed your eyes, trying to organize the thoughts in your head. "My...my...h-hus...lover, my lover is d-dead...o-or rather he is dying....probably fully gone by now..." despite the mess of stuttered letters and mixed-up words, the man seemed to understand your situation. With a long sigh, he pulled you into the somber house.

Fingers still wrapped tightly around your wrist he pulled you around, guiding you through the darkness until you reached a large room lit only by the mysterious blue flames of the fireplace. Sitting by the warmth was a...well it was hard to tell, her face -despite it displaying every bone of her visage coupled with dark sunken eyes- resembled that of a woman no older than thirty, whilst her body resembled a decaying skeleton. What was she? Was she the lady of the residence or yet another monster this bizarre family had created.

"My, love" the man began to speak, his voice was somehow cleared like it had been given some sort of jolt. "This young lady needs Idia's help, she wants to bring back her lover from the dead."

The woman said nothing, her eyes staring ahead, burning a hole in the wall right by your head. "What will she give him in return" despite her "deteriorating" appearance her voice was like soft silk on one's skin, melodious and fair.

"Why herself!" This time the man's voice boomed across the house, echoing through the hallways and falling on you like a cave in.

"M-myself! What the hell do you mean!"

"It sounds fair" the women agreed "my darling sweet son saves your lover and instead you agree to marry him! Oh how wonderful, just like in the tales about grandfather Hades!"

She seemed too thrilled about this, her snow-white eyes gleaming with a sort of delusional passion.

"Idia! Idia honey! Come down your father has a surprise for you!"

The hollow sound of footsteps soon filled the quiet air. Followed by another soft blue glow.

Was there no normal fire in this house?

But it wasn't fire, not exactly. When your eyes fell on the heir of the Shroud family, you suddenly felt a nervous wave crash over you. There was something -even more- unsettling about him, he looked nothing like his charming little brother. For one his hair wasn't...well hair! Sure you'd expect a small batch of blazes heading upwards but this was something else entirely! It resembled a large bonfire that floated towards the ground, rouge sparks falling in every which direction, sizzling and then dying abandoned on the floor. And his eyes, Miosis like pupils floating around in a pool of lemon yellow.

But all the physical appearances aside, the most unsettling thing about him was the gloomy aura that leaked off him, suffocating anyone in his presence. Nervously you took a step back only to be yanked forward again by the taller man.

"Idia baby!" His mother ran over to him, cradling his hands in hers "This cute young lady has agreed to marry you if you can save her lover, just like in that old tale about your great grandfather! Oh, my this is all so romantic!"

It seemed like no one here understood that you were in love WITH SOMEONE ELSE! Or maybe they did and chose to disregard it. Instead, using the bits they retained as kindling to feed their raw excitement. You shifted your gaze back to Idia's face. To your utter terror, he was...smiling? Could that...look...even be called a smile? It seemed more like the way a shark would bare its teeth at a defenseless seal! Oh, gods please don't let this...thing...be your future husband!

"It should be easy enough," His golden gaze landed on you "W-when did...did he die?" it took a few moments before you register that he was talking to you or technically asking you something. "A...A few..." your voice cracked, tears streaming down your eyes.

"So recently...okay that shouldn't be a p-problem." He turned on his heels and walked back into the seclusion of the halls "I'll grab some things and meet you by the front door"

A few things ended up being a pile of wires and bolts. Something that looked like a light blue ball of energy and so many tools whose names seemed to go over your head.

Idia was kneeling by your lover's bed, pulling apart the skin and fusing metal in its place. Your darling's chest was cracked open, his ribs poking out towards the sky as if praying for life from the lord of the sky. Every once in awhile Idia would pull out a long tool with smoke floating from the top. He'd lay it on an organ watching as the tissue fiber sizzled away under the heat. He would then tie wires and small circular batteries inside.

"His heart stopped working, I'm guessing from some sort of shock"

You just hummed in response, too caught up in how the man you loved was beginning to look like a modern-day Frankenstein rather than a human being.

The sun had long since faded when Idia finally got up from his spot. His bones cracked and screeched at the sudden change, his muscles giving out halfway leaving him to rely on the wall for support to stand. Your lover's chest had been sewn back and covered with a silver piece of metal. His neck was wrapped in the same sort of alloy. His left arm had been cut open so Idia could shove the energy ball inside than cover it, leaving a small enough gap for wires that stretched from his chest to weld into the ball.

"He just needs a boost" Idia murmured that shark-like grin overtaking his pale face once more. From the side table, he plucked up to jumper cables and clipped them on either side of his neck. Jolts and crackles filled the room and sparks flew in every direction, the once-dead body shuffled around, arms and legs moving at random. You shrieked and duck behind Idia.

Only then did he pry the clips from his neck.

Nothing

for too long nothing happened... then there was a slight wiggle in one finger, then another. His eyes slowly began to prey open, looking over his surroundings. The moment his confused gaze feel onto you. Idia turned you around to face him, clumsily smashing his blue chapped lips onto yours.

From the corner of his eyes, Idia watched as the other man began to understand what was happening...even if he was just resurrected there was still agony at the sight of his lover kissing another...

Good! That should show him who you belonged to now!

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simp-tastic · 4 years ago

Note

heh I'm back after watching the new sk8 episode 😅 could I request a nsfw scenario for Cherry Blossom with a fem s/o where he's had a long day skating and wants to just relax with her?

thank you for another great request. great minds think alike, i simp so hard for everyone in sk8 the infinity.

enjoy! i got a bit carried away

if you like my woke please consider donating to my ko-fi

cherry blossom | Sakurayashiki Kaoru x fem!reader

“Kaoru” you shouted through the house, certain that you had heard the door to your penthouse apartment open, a sure sign that your fiancée had gotten home from ‘S’. However, your call was to no avail, and no response came. You shrugged it off and continued to make a grilled cheese for yourself. You continued like this for a few minutes, finally hearing a small sigh as your lover walked into the large kitchen. You turned around and were immediately privy to the look of defeat on Kaoru’s face.

“baby” you said leaving behind your sandwich and giving full attention to him, “what happened”. you walked over to him and took his hair out of its ponytail so that you could run your hands over his scalp, attempting to make him feel at ease.

“i don’t want to talk about it” kaoru responded almost too quietly to hear. you decided to leave it, not wanting to push him too far. Kaoru decided to take a bath to attempt to calm his nerves. You stood in the middle of the kitchen until you heard the loud running of bath water, and decided to eat your forgotten sandwich.

once you finished your sandwich you sat back and pondered what could have happened that would cause your lover to react like this. Surely he couldn’t have been distraught by the rookie or a fight with joe, this was different, maybe something happened to carla? regardless you decided that you would make him feel better one way or the other, and an absolutely amazing idea popped into your head.

you walked to the bathroom and opened the door to see Kaoru leaning his head back with his arms resting on the side of the bath. at the sound of the door he opened his eyes to see you standing sheepishly in the doorway.

“mind if i join you” you asked nonchalantly, knowing that he couldn’t possibly refuse the tempting offer. something primal shifted in his eyes, and he slowly responded “be my guest”

a mischievous smile creeps across your face as you oh so slowly take off your clothes. starting with your black joggers, you slowly pull the waistband of the pants over the curve of your ass, making sure that kaoru could see everything. next came your crew next, only eliciting an eyebrow raise when he saw your lack of bra. and finally, once everything else was discarded to the pile. kaoru’s eyes rake over your figure, taking in every bump and crevice on your body, his eyes burning into you.

you slowly walk over to him, slowly stepping into the large bath that is more comparable in size to a hot tub. you slowly lower yourself into the hot water, keeping eye contact with your lover the entire time. and as soon as you were fully lowered into the water, he had you trapped between his strong arms. one of his ands comes up and traces the outline of your face, delicately, almost like you are made of glass.

“tell me know if you don’t want this, because i will not be holding back tonight”

you were so incredibly attracted to the man in front of you that all you could do in response to his question was nod. in the same instant, the man in front of you attacked your lips with a ferocity you had never seen before. a large hand found its way to your nipple, playing with the sensitive bud. you let out a small yelp of surprise, which kaoru used to slip his tongue past your lips. after a few more moments he breaks the kiss from your lips, opting for your neck instead, his hand that was on your chest is now dipping below the water.

his hands work farther down and just as a single digit slips past your entrance, his lips find that spot on your neck that makes you wild, and sucks hard. at first you gasp at the sudden intrusion, but very quickly your gasps turn into moans and just as you’re getting used to it, he shoves another finger in your would-be dripping cunt and begins to pump you at a grueling pace. waves of pleasure wash over you body but it’s just not enough. Kaoru knows this fact and just as his fingers curl to find that rough patch inside you, an eager thumb starts to rub over your clit mercilessly. You look up at your lover with eyes filled with pleasure and pleading to let you cum. he responds to your voiceless question with a curt nod, and you don’t need to be told twice.

pleasure overtakes your body and you body convulses as a high pitched moan escapes your lips. Kaoru stays pumping you at the same rate and keeps pressure on your clit, prolonging your climax even further. when you finally come down, your met with the eyes of your fiancé, loving and golden. he picks you up with one swoop, making sure that you back is supported and carries you over to the bedroom you share, and gently lays you on the springy bed.

you close your eyes in your sprawled out position on the bed, already tired from the orgasm you just had. when you open your eyes again, Kaoru has put his hair out of his face with a messy bun and his eyes are locked with yours.

“i know your tired honey suckle so i’ll do all the work” your lover says as he trails one hand up your leg. “are you prepped enough to take it” he says, lining his already hard cock up agains you entrance. that same primal look beginning to gleam in his eyes again. you gave him a small nod, telling him that you were ready.

almost in that same moment he was balls deep inside your dripping cunt, and a cry of both pain and pleasure burst through your lips. he gives you no time to adjust as he pulls almost completely back out and then back in at a grueling pace. the pain you once felt is now completely replaced with pleasure and every time he trusts back in he’s now rubbing your walls so perfectly, it feels like you were made for each other. you’re already so sensitive from your previous orgasm that every touch threatens to send you over the edge, and Kaoru is very aware of this fact. one of your shaky hands goes to find you clit, but is slapped away by your lover. “hey, no touching yourself, let me” he says to you with a loving smile. you take your hand away just as he starts rubbing quick circles against your clit. you’re so close, but you need Kaoru to let you cum. you look up at him and let out a barely audible, ‘please’.

“ i know baby. i know you want to cum, but just wait a little longer so we can finish together” he says with loving eyes, holding your hand as he continues to pound into you. his strokes start to become less calculated and strained moans escape his mouth so you know he’s close. He leans close to your ear and whisper, “cum for me honeysuckle”. you don’t need to be told twice, waves of pleasure overtake your body, and you bite down on the junction between your lovers neck and shoulder, eliciting a loud groan from him. you cunt convulses around him and and milks every last drop from his veiny cock. so much pleasure is coursing through your body that you begin to skate uncontrollably as you moan into Kaoru’s large shoulder.

Kaoru pulls out of you and flops down onto the bed, obviously on the verge of passing out from the events of the day. when you look over at your fiancée your met with his loving gaze. he reaches out to pull you in and you lie there, chest to chest, your head tucked under his chin. you quietly ask, “what happened today baby” but when you look up, he’s already asleep. you decide once again, to drop the matter for today, and you lay your head agains his chest, and drift off into peaceful sleep.

#anime #sk8 the infinity #fanfic #anime smut #cherry blossom #sk8 the infinity cherry blossom #sk8

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adventuresinwonderlust · 3 years ago

Text

Title: Caution to the Wind PART 2

For PART 1 Click HERE

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Warnings: smut, fluff, angst, a lot of first times, tension, Solo/ mutual masturbation (m) (f), mentions of virginity and losing it (friendship pact)

*AUTHORS NOTE: Warnings will update per chapter as things get steamier*

Permanent Tag List: @mochilicious-yoongi @heyimtavia

Rating: 18 and over

You wake to the sun peeking through his curtains, rolling to find Yoongi gone. You stretch your body out before sitting up and looking about for your phone. Yoongi soon enters, coffee in hand, once you send an all is well text to your mother. He hands you the mug with a smile, “Good morning. Did you sleep well?” “Morning. I did, thanks. How about you?” He nods, taking a seat at his desk. “Do you want to talk about last night?” He murmurs. You sip your coffee, shrugging at his question. “Do you?” “I mean, I'm sorry about ruining the kiss. I'll try to control myself more.” “No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have, uh, you know, touched you.” You look away from him, your face heating. “I mean, I understand but also…. it's ok if you did…. or if you wanted to…. uh…. No pressure.” He stutters, scratching at the back of his neck. You can't help but giggle, your nerves kicking in heavily. “Why?” He chuckles. “I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. I'm just, this is just a bit awkward to talk about.” You reply. He nods, covering his face with his hands. “How can we make it not awkward?” He asks from behind his hands. “Maybe let's not talk about it beforehand. We should just let it happen naturally.” You explain. He lowers his hands, nodding at you. “Ok, you’re right let's just move on then. What do you want to do today?” “Let's just chill out, watch a movie or play a video game. We can head back to my place.” “Ok, well let's do that early. I don't want to hang around here too long.” “Okay, let me just shower and get dressed.” “Same.” He says, jumping up to grab clothes from his dresser to pack.

You watch as he neatly folds his things and places them into his duffle bag. He soon turns to you. “You can shower first Y/N, it'll give me time to get my stuff together.” You smile, grabbing your duffle and heading into the restroom. You exit fully dressed and ready to go, frowning when you hear Yoongi arguing with his mother. “You are never home!” “You never make it so I want to be home!” “How happy then you will be to move out and into the dorms? Finally, away from your terrible mother.” “I’m counting down the days!” He shouts, stomping up the stairs and into the bedroom. You lock eyes and he just shakes his head. “I'll be quick.” He grumbles, heading into the restroom.

You both head down the stairs to leave, Yoongi’s mother in the kitchen staring at you. “Have a good day.” You wave at her. She simply nods, turning away as you both walk out. “You know you don’t have to try so hard. She doesn’t care.” “I’ve known her since I was a little kid. Of course, I have to try. My mother would kill me if she found out I was anything but respectful to your mom.” “My mom loves you Y/N, things have just been tough at home.” “I know Yoongi, you don’t have to explain. I’m sure things will blow over soon enough.” He nods, taking a seat at the bus stop. “I feel bad that she and I have grown so far apart.” He says finally. “Well, you are both pretty prideful. Someone has to give in and say I’m sorry.” “It won’t be her that’s for sure.” “Then it should be you.” He shakes his head at your suggestion. “Maybe one day but just not today.” You nod, not wanting to press anymore, luckily the bus arrives.

You make it to your house and figure out a quick dinner, your mom texting to say she'll be working late. Yoongi, always being the kind guy he is, packs a plate for your mom to eat when she arrives home. You both clean up and head to your room. “Go kart?” You smirk at Yoongi, who nods. “You’re going to lose.” “Whatever, we shall see. Set it up, I’m gonna change into my pajamas.” You instruct, heading into your bathroom to change into a black tank top and sleep shorts. When you emerge, Yoongi is sitting on the rug at the front of the TV, the video game on, cheerful music filling the room. “Ready to lose?” He chuckles, his smile turning into a cough when he looks you over. He hands you a controller and you take a seat next to him.

You smirk to yourself, watching from the corner of your eye as Yoongi eyeballs you, and you wonder to yourself if you will always have this effect on him. “Better keep focus Min.” You tease, getting the one up on him and taking the lead. Your avatar zooms quickly, your heart beating fast, your knuckles aching from how tightly you hold the controller. Soon your avatar passes the finish line, the game whistling to inform you both the level is over. “Woooooo!” You scream, dropping the remote and lifting your arms in the air. Yoongi rolls his eyes, nodding calmly. “Best 2 outta three.” He wagers. “OK but let’s make it interesting.” He scoffs at your remark. “Interesting how?” You feel your body heat. Getting the one up on Yoongi has your core needy. You go to set your terms when your mother bursts through the door, startling you. “Hey, thanks for dinner. I’m going to crash. It was a long day. Try to keep it down ok.” “Yeah mom, sorry.” “Night.” She winks, closing the door.

“What was I saying?” You look back at Yoongi. “You wanted to make things interesting.” “Oh yes! So, since you lost this round, I want your shirt.” You smirk. His brow furrows and he looks down at his t-shirt, laughing nervously. “I’m not wearing anything underneath.” You shrug at his comment and feel your face heat when his Adam’s apple bobs with his hard swallow. He chuckles again and grabs the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up and over his head. He tosses it to you, his gorgeous skin on display, and you drop it in front of you happily. “Next round is mine.” He warns, grabbing his remote. You begin the next round and find yourself hyper focused on winning. Your hands are aching, not as large as Yoongi’s who can grip the control with ease. You squeal excitedly, in the lead. Yoongi grumbles under his breath, “I’m not going to lose this one!” You giggle at his words, taking your eyes away from the screen for a moment. Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes light up and you whip your head back to the screen to see a computer player shoot a bomb at your avatar, knocking you out of first place. “No!” You whine, watching your avatar spin out of control. Yoongi whoops over and over beside you, his avatar quickly taking the lead. He leans up onto his knees, happily making noises under his breath, his avatar zooming over the finish line. He tosses his controller, throwing his arms up before pointing at you. “Told you I’d win. Take those shorts off.”

You scoff, a fit of adrenaline riddled giggles soon taking over you. You stand, tucking your thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and drop them to the ground, using your foot to kick them over to him. He holds them for a moment in his arms, staring at you in your lacey black thong. You adjust the straps higher up on your full hips, slowly squatting down and sitting on your feet, your ass on full display for him. “Next round is mine.” You point at him. He doesn’t speak, unable to pull his gaze away from your plump behind. His eyes tracing your every outline, making your core burn with desire. “Focus Min, I want to win fair and square.” You say, grabbing the controller and setting up the next round. He grabs his controller, his eyes still taking you in. You’d be lying if you said that having his eyes on you wasn’t the best feeling in the world right now. You felt your arousal push pass your slit, wetting the fabric of your thong. You start the level and chuckle to yourself at the fact that you both are barely putting in an effort.

You see Yoongi's avatar speed up suddenly and so you decide to slow down, letting him win! “Ha,” He exclaims, “I win!” “I guess you do.” You shrug. His excitement soon fades, and He looks over your body again. “Um, well there’s not much to ask for.” He whispers, scratching the back of his neck. “You sure? Maybe you aren’t being creative enough.” You tell him, crawling over and locking lips with his. He moans, melting into the kiss. You pull away briefly to take in his needy look. “Don’t stop." He almost begs, leaning forward to kiss you again. You deepen the kiss, straddling him. Your cunt aching when he swirls his tongue around yours. His hands find purchase at your lower back, his fingertips fiddling with the fabric of your tank. You break the kiss again, “Do you want me to take it off?” His eyes widen and he stutters over what to say but the twitch in his pants give him away.

You sit up a bit at the feeling of his member pressing into you, his cheeks reddening, “I’m sorry.” He whispers. You shake your head, “It’s ok. I like how it feels.” You rock a bit in his lap, watching how his mouth falls open and his grip on your back tightens. “Is this, ok?” You ask in the hopes he’ll say yes, the friction against your yearning sex just what you need. He doesn’t speak, just nods, his hands falling to your hips. He tucks his slender fingers under the straps of your thong, gripping at your flesh before aiding you back and forth across his clothed erection. You mewl at the amazing feeling that slowly builds deep inside you. “Do.... do you like this?” He pants. You nod, moving your hips faster. He lets a soft moan escape and you’re quick to shush him for fear your mother will hear.

He bites his lower lip to keep from being too noisy and you find yourself trying hard to grind against him. You groan annoyed at how difficult it is to keep a good pace on the floor, your knees digging into the rug. “Let’s move to the bed.” You urge, standing. Yoongi hops up and follows you towards the bed. You sit down watching him approach, his erection creating a tent like effect at the front of his jeans. You swallow back you lust for him, rubbing your thighs together. “Do you want to take your jeans off?” He looks down at himself and back at you, his face and neck reddening. “Do you want me to? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” You nod, feeling so overwhelmingly horny that you reach for his belt and begin to undo his pant. “Fuck Y/N.... I.... this has never happened before. I’m freaking out a bit.” “Me too,” You reassure him, “If you want me to stop at any time, just tell me.” He shakes his head, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he watches you tug his jeans down.

“Lie back.” You instruct. Yoongi shakily does as he’s told, groaning when you straddle him again. You moan lustfully at how amazing his clothed manhood feels against your clothed womanhood, so much better than any pillow. You want so badly to wildly grind against him, desperate for release. He has his hands on your thighs, his eyes fixed on you, waiting for your instructions. You lick your lips, an even naughtier thought coming to your mind. You slide back a bit, palming him gently, mewling at how incredible he feels in your hand even clothed. He releases a deep breath, his eyes closing shut at the feeling. “Do you like this?” You question even though you know his answer. He simply nods. Your body shivers at the sounds of his moaning. A surge of needy lust coursing through you. You grip his heavy manhood before nestling yourself into his lap again. You roll your hips into his. “Oh god!” He almost yells. “Shh! Try to be quiet.” You lean in to whisper in his ear. “Pl-please, go faster.” He begs and you nod, moving your hips in quick flicks across his erection.

“Do, do you like this?” He groans. “It’s nice. I like watching you.” You admit. He smiles seductively, wrapping an arm around your waist and flipping you onto your back. “I want you to like it too.” He whispers, shoving his erection into your soaked center. You can't help but hitch forward, dry humping your needy bud into his length. You moan quietly into his ear, reveling in the gentle kisses he traces along your collar bone and neck. Your skin begins to goose at the feeling of his soft lips against your hot skin. Your body burning as it nears your climax. “Yoongiiii, touch me.” You cry out. He stops completely, hovering over you and staring at your face. “Oh, Y/N, I want to, I’m just nervous. Maybe if you don’t mind, we can we try something else? If you don’t like it, we can stop.” “OK, yeah, what did you have in mind?” He bites his lip and you’ve never felt more turned on. “Show me how you make yourself cum.” He whispers. “Are you serious?” You giggle a bit. “Yeah, um, it’s a fantasy of mine. Like I want to see you touch yourself. I'll do it to. If you want to.” He whispers, his eyes fired with lust as he leans in for a kiss. You nod, running your hand into his hair. Your tongues swirling around one another in desperate fury.

“Should I stay lying back?” You ask. Yoongi shrugs. “Are you comfortable this way?” You nod in response. “Ok. I can do whatever.” He explains, leaning back on his heels, still nestled between your legs. You both watch each other. One waiting for the other to make the first move. You bite your lip, dying for release. “Show me your cock.” Yoongi's eyes widen, and he chuckles nervously. “Fuck, that's so hot. I've never heard you talk like that. I'm so horny right now. I want you. I want you so bad. Show me too. Um, I want to see your…uh….” “Pussy.” You finish his sentence. He groans deeply, palming himself with a needy nod. You let out a shaky breath at the sight of him already touching himself. “You’re so beautiful Y/N, do you know that? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life.” He confesses, gripping your thigh. “Oh Yoongi.” You whimper, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his sweet pout. He takes over the kiss immediately, suckling on your tongue and soon your lips.

You can't take it anymore and reach into his underwear. You wrap your hands around his length, swallowing the desperate whine that leaves his throat. You begin stroking him from root to tip ever so slowly. You’ve watched porn before and had always seen the women in them start this way. You break away from the kiss to look down at his member, never having seen one up close before. He’s long, thick, and veiny. The tip the same pink as his lips. Your mouth hangs open as you watch yourself work and you soak yourself even more. Yoongi looks down also, his breathing erratic, soft moans leaving his kiss swollen pout. “Just like that, that’s so good.” He praises, reaching back to squeeze your ass. You marvel at the sticky pre-cum that spills from his reddening tip, licking your lips when it’s dribbles down onto your hand. “Fuckkkk.... this feels so amazing. You sure this.... is.... your first time doing this?” You nod at his question, your chest filling with pride. “Lie back, Y/N.” He instructs, grabbing his cock from your grasp. You nod, doing as your told and lying back. You release a shuddered breath at the sight of him stroking just his tip. His head falls back and he’s a moaning mess. His chest rises and falls so fast, you wonder if he'll hyperventilate. “Take your thong off Y/N.” You do as your told, bending your knees to your chest to remove the sticky fabric from your saturated core. You chuck the material to the side, parting your legs slowly on either side of a knelt down Yoongi.

“Fuck....she's gorgeous. Sss- So fucking wet. She’s practically glistening.” Yoongi stutters. You bite your lip, lowering a hand to glide your fingers through your slit. “I’m so wet for you.” You pant, grinding against your own hand. He shudders, watching your fingers maneuver through your slick folds. He begins to stroke himself in slowly, his eyes fixed on your core. Your mouth falls open and you widen your legs to give him more of a view. “Oh, fuck Y/N! You’re so wet. Watching you is so fucking hot.” He breathes desperately. You glide a finger through your slit, collecting your juices, and rubbing soft circles on your swollen nub. All the while Yoongi continues stroking the whole of his length, focusing on his tip with quick circular motions. You both moan out loud, unable to keep your eyes off your respective roaming hands.

You begin to pick up speed, rubbing larger circles against your clit, eliciting a long low moan from your lips. “God, Y/N. Watching you is better than any porn,” He whispers, hitching his hips upwards into his clenched fist at the same pace in which your fingers move, “I love watching you. I can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re so gorgeous.” “Ah, Yoongi. I’m so close.” “Shit baby. This feels so good, so fucking good. I’m not going to last much longer either.” You lock eyes with him and soon begin rocking against your fingers. Yoongi tightens his grip around his length and you watch his expression of lust turn to desperation. “Fuck Y/N, I can’t hold it. I’m going to cum baby.” Something about him announcing his climax brings about your own climax. “Yes, cum Yoongi, cum. Cum on my belly. I’m going to cum too.” You mewl, lifting your tank to expose your belly. “Oh, fuck! Really? That so fucking….” He is unable to finish his sentence, your orgasm striking you like a ton of bricks. His eyes widen watching you bite your lip hard to keep from screaming, never having cum so hard in your life. Your back arches, looking up just as Yoongi moans out, spurts of white shooting from his tip onto your expose tummy. You gasp at the amount of fluid one person can produce but at the same you are so turned on by it.

He soon slows his movements, leaning in to kiss you. “That was just, wow. Are you ok?” “Yeah, are you?” Yoongi chuckles at your question, kissing you again. “It was so great.” You both find yourself giggling. “Good thing your mom didn’t pop in, or we’d be dead!” “No shit!” “I made a mess. I’m sorry. Let me grab a towel and I’ll clean all this up.” Yoongi offers, kissing you again. He gets up, tucking himself away, walking towards your bathroom. You look down at your messy belly thinking of how girls in porn love the taste of cum. You swirl your finger in his seed, bringing your hand up to your nose to smell it. The scent is distinct, almost reminding you of cake batter. You drop your hand immediately when you hear Yoongi come out of the restroom with a wet washcloth. “You sure you ok?” He asks again. “Yeah, I’m good. I was just so overcome by like hormones I guess.” “That’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with that. Besides we are supposed to be here to help each other out so don’t feel weird or anything. You can always ask me to you know.” He smirks, wiggling his fingers in front of his face. You slap his arm, laughing out loud. He carefully cleans his mess from your abdomen, folding the towel up and chucking it in your laundry bin. “I think I’m going to shower actually.” You tell him. “Ok sure.” He plops back on the bed. “Wanna join me?” You offer. His eyes pop open and he leans up quickly. “Uh, seriously?” You start heading off to the restroom, turning to face him. “Well? You coming?” He leaps off the bed and runs into the bathroom after you.

#bts smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #suga x you #suga x reader

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fruitcoops · 4 years ago

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eve omg omg omg the jules fic was so amazing!!!! i'm so excited for the rest :))))

Here’s part two of Adventures in Babysitting! The editing was being finnicky, so I’m sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather and Jules credit belongs to @lumosinlove!

“Are you warm enough?” Sirius asked as he swiped Jules’ bangs beneath the edge of his beanie. Jules nodded, still sleepy even at seven thirty in the morning. “D’accord, let’s get going. Re, did you let Hattie out?”

“Yep, she’s all set in the living room.” Remus kissed him as he passed, hauling his duffel up and resting his hand between Jules’ shoulder blades to guide him down the steps. “Careful, buddy, it’s slippery.”

“I know,” Jules mumbled. “D’you think it’ll snow?”

Sirius looked up—the sky was still fairly dark, but smudges of thick grey clouds seemed to be rolling in. “Probably.”

The drive to the rink was quiet and peaceful; a six o’clock wake up call was tough even on the best of mornings, when they didn’t have a third tiny person to worry about. Regulus sounded like he was waking as they left the house, and Sirius hoped he’d stick around long enough to say goodbye. Pascal’s house wasn’t far, but Sirius knew he would miss having him around.

“Morning, boys,” Remus called as they entered the locker room.

“Morning,” Kasey yawned, stretching his thigh out. “How’s the kid?”

“Sleepy.”

“Big mood. He’s with Moody again today?”

“Yep. They’ll probably come watch again at some point.” Remus smiled to himself. “Thank you guys for showing off yesterday, by the way. He couldn’t stop talking about it the whole evening.”

“Who’s ready to win a game?” James whooped, barging in and looking far too awake for his own good.

Leo frowned. “Game’s tomorrow, Pots.”

“It’s never too early to get hyped, baby rookie.” James patted him on the head as he passed and Leo scowled.

“I’m not a rookie anymore! Loops is!”

“If I call Loops a rookie, he’s going to make sure I never have children again,” James laughed, throwing a t-shirt to Remus from across the aisle. “Here, I borrowed that a couple weeks ago.”

Remus gave it a tentative sniff. “Dude, you didn’t even wash it?”

“It’s something to remember me by.”

“You’re a walking nightmare.”

“Nah, you love me.”

There was a new intensity to their practice that morning—they had beat the Ravens before, sure, but that didn’t mean they were guaranteed to win this time. Even James centered himself, tapping a puck back and forth with Remus until it was nothing but a blur between them. Sirius didn’t see Jules or Moody at any point throughout their ice time, which left him a little disappointed when the timer went off and it was time to hit the gym.

They all did lighter workouts, more like cool down exercises rather than legitimate muscle-building routines. Sirius let himself fall into the rhythm of squats, pushups, and jump-roping until each beat of his heart aligned with the impact of his feet on the mats. The jingle of his ringtone finally signaled the end of practice and a collective sigh went up.

“See you tomorrow, gents,” Nado said as he stood and stretched his back. Sirius felt the mood change as the pre-game heaviness settling over them like a weighted blanket.

Remus wandered over and gave his shoulder a light nudge. “I’ll shower and get Jules while you finish up, yeah?”

“Sounds good. I’ll be quick.” Sirius pressed their foreheads together in lieu of a kiss before turning back to the rest of the guys as stretches began. “You know the spiel. Get some sleep, carb load, all that jazz.”

“Got it, Cap,” Leo said. He tried for a smile, though he looked troubled.

“The Ravens are a great team, but we’re better. We beat them before and we can do it again. Shake off the weird vibes, okay? We can do this.” We have to if we want to make it to the playoffs, he thought instinctively before reaching over to tap the strip of wooden floor that the mats didn’t quite cover. Nope. No playoff thoughts. Just the game.

Eight minutes and a dozen fist-bumps later, they arrived at the locker room in a jumble of bodies. Sirius paused at the end of the hall and heard more than one quiet ‘awww’; Remus was waiting outside, as promised, with Jules fast asleep in his arms. He winked when he saw them and held a finger to his lips, stepping out of the way so they could sneak past.

Moving over a dozen fully-grown hockey players through a small space was not the most stealthy of activities, especially when all of them lingered to get a look at the sleeping child—it was no surprise that Jules woke up partway through and blinked drowsily at them. “Hmm?”

“It’s okay, buddy, you can sleep,” Remus murmured, hitching him a little higher up. “We’re heading home soon.”

“But I wanna watch,” Jules said, pouting slightly. Kasey made a soft noise and put his hand over his heart.

“You can watch the game tomorrow,” James said in a gentle voice. It wasn’t baby talk, persay, but Sirius had definitely heard him use that same soothing tone when Harry started to fuss. Jules snuggled his face into Remus’ neck again with a hum.

Sirius showered quickly and grabbed his bag, barely checking to see if his stuff was all there before ducking out of the locker room with a final mock-salute to the guys. “How long has he been asleep?” he asked as he picked up Remus’ duffel.

“He was out cold on the PT table.” Remus laughed under his breath. “Moody said he was a firecracker for about an hour and a half, but he came back from the bathroom and found him all curled up.”

“That’s so fucking cute. Did you get a picture?”

“Already sent it to my folks.” Remus carefully set Jules in the backseat of the car and buckled him in while Sirius closed the trunk as quietly as he could. Once they were in their respective seats, Remus leaned over the console and gave him a proper kiss, nice and slow. It sent a buzz all the way down to Sirius’ toes.

The lights were off at the house when they arrived; Jules was fully awake by then and Sirius watched his face fall at the same time his own heart clenched. “Regulus left.”

“Yeah, I think so. It’s okay, we’ll see him tomorrow.” Sirius added the last sentence partly for himself—he tried to keep in mind that Regulus was an adult and had moved out ages ago, but they had settled into their routine so quickly. He didn’t want the house to feel empty again.

“Hey.” Remus’ hand was light on his elbow and he blinked, looking over at his smile. “You alright?”

“Yeah, all good. Let’s get some lunch.” He offered a smile that he knew was weak, but Remus linked their hands all the same and kissed his cheek before getting both their bags out of the back.

Jules was playing hopscotch with the checkerboard of ice patches on the sidewalk; it had snowed while they were at practice, after all. There was a faint bark from inside and Jules gasped happily, racing toward the front door with reckless abandon and pressing his face against the wood. “Hi, Hattie-girl!”

Sirius unlocked the door, bending slightly to absorb her impact as she tumbled into them both and covered Jules’ face in kisses, wiggling to pieces with sheer joy. She sprinted for her toy box and grabbed a knotted rope, trotting back to Jules for him to grab the other end and tug.

“Do we have leftovers from last night?’ Remus called from the doorway when Sirius headed into the kitchen.

“I don’t think so, but we have turkey. How does a sandwich sound?”

“F—uh, really great.” Remus grimaced as he walked in and dropped his wallet on the counter. “I have got to be better about my language. Mom’s still mad at me for teaching Jules to say ‘fuck’, and that was years ago.”

“You had no qualms about teaching Harry bad words.”

“And you had no qualms about being on a desert island without me,” Remus said coolly. “Yet here we are.”

“Touché.” Sirius turned around to construct the sandwiches and felt someone lightly slap his ass. He laughed, raising an eyebrow. “Hello.”

“Hey,” Remus grinned, stealing a slice of cheese from his small pile and hopping up to sit on the counter.

“I don’t know why you do that.”

“Slap your ass or steal food? I do both because I love you.”

“I meant sitting on the counter. You know, where we eat.”

“I like to feel extra tall,” Remus said, reaching for another slice of cheese until Sirius gently smacked his hand away.

“Shortie.”

“Fuck off.”

“That’s a bad word,” Jules said from the doorway with a smile. He looked quite disheveled from playing with the dog.

Remus sighed. “It is, indeed. Don’t repeat it.”

“I could.”

“But you won’t.”

“I could.”

“I’ll tell mom.”

“She’d blame you for teaching me.”

“I’ll tell dad.”

“He’d think it was hilarious, and then he’d tell mom and she’d chew you out.”

Remus rolled his eyes and scooted over to make room for Jules to hop up next to him. Sirius threw his hands in the air. “Both of you! What the hell? Who taught you to do that?”

They shared a glance and shrugged. Sirius was starting to understand why people thought it was creepy how similar he and Regulus looked. “It’s a side effect of being the wiry kids on the block when everyone else is taller,” Remus said, snorting as Jules flexed his skinny arms.

Sirius handed them each a sandwich and, with a heavy sigh, boosted himself up to join them. The marble was cold, but it was…kind of fun to swing his legs and get a few extra inches of height. “I think he likes it,” Jules stage-whispered to Remus.

“It’s not horrible,” Sirius conceded, taking a bite of his food.

“Come to the Dark Side, we have the best places to sit.”

Jules widened his eyes and wiggled his fingers at Sirius until they were all laughing too hard to actually eat, then fell into silence as hunger took precedence after not having anything substantial since breakfast. “Are you good with reading or watching TV for a bit while we take a nap?” Remus asked between sips of water. Jules nodded, still making his way through his sandwich.

“What’re we doing after?”

Sirius paused at the same time Remus stopped halfway through a drink of water. They made eye contact, and he knew they were thinking the exact same thing: oh, fuck, we actually have to do things with a child around. “Uh, we’re…going to the park,” Remus said.

Jules made a happy noise around his sandwich and swung his legs. “Cool!”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“Okay, mom.”

----------------------------------------

The park was a winter wonderland, to say the least. Four inches of snow coated the grassy field and weighed down the branches of the trees lining the playfield, where about a dozen kids built snowmen with their parents. Hattie’s breath fogged the window as they parked and her wagging tail lightly smacked Jules’ forehead every few seconds.

Jules was out of the car the second Sirius turned the engine off, grabbing Hattie’s leash and leaping into the nearest snowbank with a whoop. Remus burst out laughing and followed him with a final glance over his shoulder to Sirius.

They were making halfhearted snow angels when he finally wandered over to the snowbank. They looked so peaceful, so content and happy.

Remus gasped when the first snowball hit him dead center in his chest. Jules laughed even harder until the next one landed in the neck of his coat and poured a veritable waterfall of snow down his front. They both stared up at Sirius in shock and betrayal; he grinned and tucked his chilly hands into his pockets.

“Go for the legs, Jules,” Remus advised as he scrambled up, keeping one hand on his beanie so it didn’t fall off.

Sirius barely made it three steps before Jules grabbed him around the shin and nearly tripped him. He did his best not to drag the kid face-first through the snow, but Jules didn’t seem to mind as he hooked an arm around his other ankle and Remus collided with his shoulder, sending all three of them to the ground in a heap. “Ugh.”

“Gotcha,” Jules said, clambering onto his chest with a breathless smile. Hattie, who had come over to see what all the fuss was about, began licking his half-frozen ear.

Remus sprinkled a handful of snow onto his face, slowly obscuring his view until everything was icy and white. “Vengeance is sweet, huh, buddy?”

“Totally.”

Sirius wiped the snow away and blinked up at two pairs of amber eyes. “I surrender?”

“I should hope so,” Remus laughed as he stood up and brushed himself off, offering a hand to help him to his feet. He kissed his nose in consolation as Jules took Hattie’s leash and ran off toward the playfield, where he would no doubt make seven new best friends within the hour.

“Cute kid,” a middle-aged woman with a kind smile said as she stopped next to them.

“Isn’t he?” Sirius smiled as Hattie rolled onto her back for belly rubs from three different kids.

“How old?”

“Ten.”

Her eyebrows rose and she looked at Remus. “You must have been young when you had him.”

“What? Oh, no, he’s my little brother!” he said quickly.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, you just look so similar,” she laughed, clearly embarrassed.

“No worries, it happens all the time. Which one is yours?”

She pointed to a giggling little girl on the swings, whose dark curls were braided back into a poofy bun. “Lena turned twelve yesterday.”

“Aw, happy birthday to her!” Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist and put his hand in his back pocket, pulling him close for warmth. They both waved to Jules when he looked over and beamed at them.

The temperature dropped rapidly as four thirty came and the sun began to set; soon, the fat flakes of snow grew smaller and icier as they flurried around the park. Lena and her mother left about half an hour before Remus started bouncing on his toes in an effort to keep warm. Sirius considered himself a decent fiancé, so he figured it would be best to not let Remus freeze solid.

Jules was damp and shivering with melted snow when they got back to the house and Hattie immediately laid down in front of the heater vent as he ran upstairs for a hot bath; Remus and Sirius peeled their soaked outer layers off and hung them in the bathroom to dry.

“If he gets hypothermia, mom’s gonna kill me,” Remus muttered as he shook Jules’ scarf out over the bathtub, though Sirius could see the genuine concern in his eyes.

“He’ll be fine,” he assured him with a gentle hip check. “We were only there for a couple hours and we left pretty quick after it got really cold.”

“He was shivering in the car.”

“Re.” Sirius set his coat down and took Remus’ face between his hands. “Jules will be just fine.”

“We would be really good parents.”

He blinked. “What?”

“Not now, obviously, but I think we’d be good parents.” Sudden nervousness shadowed his face. “Sorry, that was way out of the blue. Do you—do you not want that?”

“No, I do! I really, really do but…we’ve never talked about it before. Like, in depth.” I wouldn’t be a good dad. I barely know what a good parent looks like, aside from yours and the Potters.

Remus relaxed. “Oh. Well, I don’t think it would be a great idea to adopt kids while we’re still working full time playing hockey, but in the future…” He shrugged, the edge of his mouth ticking up in a smile. “I think about it sometimes.”

“Me, too.” There was a splash upstairs and they both laughed. “Well, I guess we’re about to have an indoor swimming pool.”

“I’ll get the towels.”

------------------------------------

Sirius was almost done with the dinner dishes when he realized he hadn’t heard much noise from Jules’ room in quite a while, and yet Remus had yet to come back downstairs. He paused, listening to the muffled voices—no, not voices. Just one.

He rinsed the last plate and washed his hands, making a face at the weird soap texture and the ensuing dryness of his knuckles. There were few chores he genuinely disliked, but dishes were one of them.

The door to the guest bedroom was still open when he went upstairs, and a soft light shone out. He stopped in the doorway, a greeting dying in his throat.

“—‘hold it up!’ said Gandalf. ‘And look closely!’” Remus lowered his voice into a grumble as he read Gandalf’s lines; Jules was entranced, though he struggled to keep his eyes open for more than three seconds at a time. “As Frodo did so, he now saw fine lines, finer than the finest pen-strokes, running along the ring, outside and inside: lines of fire that seemed to form the letters of a flowing script.”

He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at Sirius, flushing faint pink. In the pause, Jules sighed softly. “Why’d you stop?”

“We’ll pick it up again tomorrow night,” Remus whispered, brushing his fringe out of his eyes. “Sleep well, buddy.”

“Sweet dreams,” Sirius added.

Jules mumbled and snuggled deeper under the blankets while Remus set the book on the nightstand and turned the bedside lamp off.

“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Sirius said as soon as he had closed the door behind them and they walked down the hall to their bedroom. “Was that The Hobbit?”

“Fellowship of the Ring. It’s one of my favorites, and he picked it up this afternoon while we were napping.” Remus pulled his shirt off and sifted through their sheets for his pajama pants. “Did you do the dishes?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks, baby. That was really sweet of you.”

“You were busy being adorable.”

“Shush,” Remus scoffed, though the blush returned to his cheeks as he curled up under the covers and made grabby hands toward Sirius. “C’mere.”

The bed was cold when he laid down, but Remus was warm, and soon they were tangled together as the moon shone through their window. Sirius drifted off to slow breaths and dreams of the future, where maybe—just maybe—their kid wouldn’t have to leave after four more days.

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lovethisletters · 4 years ago

Text

The Bat & The Lantern || Batman x Reader

Hi, lovely! I had so much fun writing this (I'm not gonna lie, I was quite nervous at first, since I don't know that much about the whole green lantern universe, but guess it turned out...ok?) so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and to be honest, I would like to revisit this story again in the future!

Little disclaimer: The reader is a Human green lantern but similar to star-lord she lived the majority of her life in space, that's why she's so oblivious as to whom Batman is, also this takes place during Dick Grayson early years as robin (12-13).

Word count: 2233!!!

Summary: Reader is a new member of the Justice League...but Batman doesn't seem too happy about it.

Keys: Y/S/N: Your Superhero Name | Y/N: Your (real) Name.

Hal Jordan was your friend since you joined the green lanterns (which it was barely 3 or 4 years ago)

Basically...you were "new"

But that didn't stop your fellow green lanterns (?) From seeing all your potential.

Everyone is convinced that with the right training and perseverance, you will become one of the greatest green lanterns of all time.

So, it didn't take long before you proved yourself to be capable enough to join the big leagues.

More specifically, The Justice League.

Hal was the one to introduce you to his companions.

The Amazonian, the human looking alien, the speedster, the other Alien not so human looking, the half robot; everyone was so nice to you since they met you.

Everyone except...The grumpy bat.

When you first introduced yourself, he didn't even bother to be as welcoming as the others.

He just stood there, looking all big and serious that you almost thought it was a statue or the poor guy had catatonic lapses or was way too shy or socially awkward to approach you.

You felt bad, so you approached him instead.

—Hi! I'm Y/S/N...—You said enthusiastically before being abruptly interrupted.

—I know, I heard your introduction already—His voice so devoid of any kind of emotion that you may as well had been talking to a machine.

"Scanning complete, Batman"

A voice inside his cowl informed him, it sounded like an older man with a British accent.

—Thank you, I'll check it later.

That’s when it hit you…the reason why he was watching you so intensely and standing so incredibly still: He was scanning you.

Fucking. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

You stayed there, your face paralyzed with surprise and anger, without knowing very well what to answer; you didn't want to cause a scene on your first day, but this man was just so rude; That is not an appropriate way to receive a new member. yes, it is normal to have suspicions, but you would appreciate if he had the decency to let his suspicions be known when you weren't present.

—she just introduced herself and already on with the paranoic behavior, Bats? seriously? —Hal stepped in your defense.

—this is a routine procedure; I'm just being cautious.

—He was like that at the beginning with all of us too, don’t worry he’ll warm up to you in no time—Wonder woman whispered in your ear after watching your uncomfortable expression.

Ultimatedly you decided to listen to the amazonian and let that one slide, “is normal to be wary of new things anyways” you repeated yourself.

As the months passed you have grown quite frustrated. Between all the missions and meetings even though you felt your relationship with the rest of the team grow closer and they began to trust you and respect you; your relationship with the Batman stayed pretty much the same.

Yes, there was a bit of progress….a bit.

He was bit more talkative to you, a bit more “friendly”, a bit more trusting.

But it was always just a bit never actually fully a teammate to you, your relationship felt more like distant coworkers.

At the beginning it didn’t worry you too much, until your lack of communication started to mess with your performance in the missions, sometimes something completely bizarre and unexpected would happen and because both of you didn’t know each other very well, the mission would take the double amount of time to resolve since you couldn’t coordinate at all.

One time he almost ran you over with his batwing…

The whole thing was kinda funny looking back on it but at the time you were furious (rightfully so)

In his defense, he didn’t knew you were there…I mean…you basically where standing in his parking spot (not that you knew there was such a thing, most members could fly or at least jump really high, so you kinda always forgot he couldn’t…and to be honest you didn’t know his exact powers)

—Sorry—was all he said as he got out of the strangely shaped flying vehicle and directed only one glance at you to make sure you where ok before entering the building, always maintaining that characteristic calm and cold demeanor.

One day you entered the hall of justice earlier than usual only to find an unexpected guest sitting in one of the empty chairs his gaze fixated on a book, he was wearing a rather colorful suit of some sort matching his green mask, then you realized when you were close enough…he was a C H I L D.

You panicked, why was a child here? Is he some sort of mini spy? How was he able to get through the security system? Did he touch anything dangerous?

This and many more questions ran through your mind, the child noticed you were looking at him and only gave a polite nod as a greeting before returning his attention to his book.

Perhaps a school trip that you weren’t aware of was taking place and this kid strayed from his class? Perhaps he was looking for one of your teammates to ask for a photo and got lost and decided to wait here for his teacher? That will explain why everyone wasn’t here in the meetings room, perhaps they were busy giving the (hypothetical) group of children a tour?

—Hey kiddo! Are you lost? —you began the conversation in a friendly tone before kneeling down a little in order to appear less imposing…after all he was a child you didn’t wanna scare him.

He looked at you so incredulously.

You could almost hear him think “ma’am wtf are you doing???” through his expressions.

—What’s your name?

—Ummm…uh…Robin?—He spoke like it was something obvious while signaling the “R” symbol on his chest.

—Robin, uh? What a pretty name! tell me Robin…why are you here? Are you lost?

Poor boy he was so confused, you didn’t know who he was? Didn’t any of the members told you about him? And more importantly…Why where you talking to him like if he was a 5-year-old?

—No, ma’am…I’m just waiting for Batman.

“Batman? Was he a fan of Batman of all superheroes?” It surprised you a bit, usually kids tend to like superman or wonder woman more since they are nicer and charismatic, and Batman was the opposite.

—Sorry Kiddo, I don’t think he’s one for photos, perhaps you could ask the others some other time! — you began explaining trying to dissuade the kid while guiding him towards the exit.

—He’s not here for photos—smooth as ever…the Bat was behind you.

—He’s my sidekick.

Your jaw dropped, a sidekick? He’s a CHILD! You knew superheroes had sidekicks, but you never knew they were that young!

Before you could even begin to protest, Batman ignored you, looking down at the child and instructing him to collect his things.

—Hurry, you’ll be late for class again. — He said before disappearing behind the door that led to his parking spot.

Robin quickly followed, hanging his backpack over his shoulder before stopping in his tracks directing an apologetic smile towards you and saying:

—Don’t worry miss, I can take care of myself! — He must have noticed the concern on your face before leaving.

Since that day your routine changed.

You would wake up earlier, many times you’ll be the first to arrive to the Hall of justice, and even have breakfast flying on your way there all for one thing: Robin.

Once you learned he was Batman’s sidekick you couldn’t help but worry over that poor child, “what if he gets hurt? Is he eating/sleeping/resting properly?” you just couldn’t help yourself.

At first it was just checking on the kid by just…seeing him in the morning and greeting him casually but there were times he wasn’t there, and you would panic internally and there was no other way to calm your anxiety until you would ask the Bat about the child.

He would always replay shortly: “He’s at home” “He’s at school” “He’s busy” and your conversations always would end there.

One day that Robin was there however, instead of your usual ‘greeting nod’ he started talking to you.

He asked you all sorts of things (that weren’t compromising to your real identity ofc) “What’s your favorite color?” “What music do you like?” “What’s your favorite movie?”

And it started from there.

The conversations with Robin grew not only more frequent but also more personal (as personal as someone with a superhero lifestyle can be), to the point it had become a routine for you to come early and talk to the boy, sometimes you had breakfast together or even helped him with his homework before the Bat would take him to school.

Perhaps it was because you didn’t have many acquittances here on earth, but Robin became family to you.

And family takes care of each other.

It had been a rather difficult and spontaneous mission; Lex Luthor was starting to act a little bit fishy (more than usual) using his connections and money Luthor had been acquiring/robbing very specifically concerning items all over the US, his next objectives: a Radion sample being investigated in a secret laboratory in Star city and a Dionesium sample...contained in the Wayne tower laboratories...

The team decided to split to put a stop to Luthor’s minions and his plan.

The Bat insisted the rest of the team should go to Star city, telling them that he and Robin could handle it, but everyone was immediately against it: Luthor had already collected relatively powerful items and being the intelligent motherfucker he is, probably transformed some of those items to give to his goon’s so they might have a chance in harming any of the members if they were to interfere.

Ultimately, the team agreed you and cyborg would accompany them to Wayne Tower.

Robin was stoked, he would get the opportunity to fight alongside you! But Batman…not so much…he kept trying to lose the two of you on the way there; fortunately, cyborg put a tracker on the batwing, he wasn’t going to get rid of you that easy.

Upon your arrival, you could spot several men (armed like if they were military but with a much more upgraded equipment) already leaving the building, carrying two tanks (presumably full of that substance Martian Manhunter had mentioned before) and heading to a truck without any plates.

Long story short: you organized a plan as quickly as you could but…something went wrong…Cyborg and Robin were supposed to create a distraction while the two of you recovered the tanks without damaging them, since the properties of the substance within remained unknown.

But something went wrong: You and Batman failed to coordinate and so you were spotted by the henchmen, they started aiming their weapons at the two of you, initially you thought a force field generated by the power of your ring would be enough...oh no, honey, you’re so wrong.

Sonic weapons were able to not only break your concentration quickly, but also made your ears bleed! One after another you kept re-making the fields, but the sonic waves so deathly and loud just kept coming.

You don’t know how but you were able to stand your ground long enough to make cover not only for Batman and allow him to get the tanks back safely but also for the rest of your team and give them a slight advantage to take down as many of Luthor’s minions as they could.

And then…you passed out.

You woke up at the infirmary in Justice Hall, your head a mess and wrapped in bandages, you had broken your arm because that shit inside a cast too for some reason…and…your ring was gone!

Panic!

No, never mind it was on the nightstand next to the chair in which batman was sitting on.

WAIT…next to the chair in which batman was sitting on?!?!?!

—How are you feeling? — you didn’t know if it was him suddenly talking or the genuine concern on his voice that startle you, so you just nodded slightly while he approached you.

—Can you hear me properly? —Surprisingly you could, but you still were a bit taken aback by his presence.

—I…—Before responding your brain reminded you of the fact that you didn’t had your ring on, hence your secret identity was revealed to Batman. Your hands practically flew to your face in embarrassment. You didn’t know why but without your mask you felt naked and vulnerable.

He noticed.

His gaze studying your pained expression before he let out a small sigh.

—I came here…to thank you…and apologize— hesitantly his hands moved to the back of his cowl.

—You not only put yourself in danger for Cyborg and Robin, but you also concerned yourself with my safety even when it was probably my fault that we ended up in that situation —He admitted pressing a hidden button loosing up his cowl before finally taking it off and reviling the most gorgeous man you’ve had ever lay your eyes on.

—And for that I thank you and apologize…sincerely—Such sudden action left you speechless for a while, Batman not only had thanked you and apologized, but he had entrusted his identity to you.

—I think-…I think we started with the wrong foot; you know? —You finally were able to respond, breaking the silence that filled the room and surprising him slightly by your sudden declaration.

—Let’s start again…Hi! I’m Y/N—You imitated the same friendly voice tone you first used to talk to him.

The lips on the man in front of you curved forming a subtle almost imperceptive grin.

—Hello, Y/N, I’m Bruce…Bruce Wayne.

��♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT. TOOK. SO. LONG. Sorry :c

I had a bunch of ideas for this request but ended up going with this one since I wanted to expand on their beginning, I’m still trying to figure out a way to write Bruce and this was my first attempt, so��sorry if it was…bad :c I’ll try harder next time!!!

Any errors you might see, please let me know; English is not my first language so I’m trying to improve.

In the final scene I wanted Bruce to show he recognized the Reader as an equal so that’s why he took it off…still I felt like it could improve.

♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be a little bit fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway! Thank you for reading!

#batman x reader #batman hc #batman #batman imagine #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #batfamily #green lantern #justice league #batfam #fanfic #batman fic #dick grayson #robin

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atsukashii · 3 years ago

Note

hi! for the event could i request: lana x bakugo katsuki + she/her pronouns + ☀️+ orange

thank you!!

life goes on like this again

✘ waking up to your boyfriend is one of the best things, although waking up to him cooking shirtless in your kitchen - yeah that takes the cake.

✘ GENRE: fluff

✘ WARNINGS: none

✘ WORD COUNT: 1.6k

✘ A/N: i got your message about changing your character to daichi, so i hope you like it!

Morning light paints the world behind your eyelids a mixture of shades of pink and orange, and once you open your eyes, the room around you isn’t much different. Early morning light gently slips through the cracks of your open blinds, turning the white walls of your room into a flux of pastel dawn colours. Trying to stay in bed for as long as possible, you turn over, pulling your sheets higher over your shoulder and cocooning yourself deeper into the warmth, more than content to just close your eyes and go back to sleep. However the lack of a presence next to you makes it borderline impossible, and soon enough you find your feet hitting the wooden floors of your apartment before you shuffle out of bed to do your morning routine.

Once you emerge from the bathroom feeling a little bit more awake, you slink down the hallway, not thinking that the noise of sizzling in the kitchen is anything abnormal. However, the second the wafting stench of something burning meets your nose do you wake up completely. With hastened steps, you walk to the kitchen, worried that your boyfriend left something on the stove before he left for work - something that would be uncharacteristic of him. But as you round the wall and step into the kitchen, a soft smile pulls at your lips.

Standing in front of your stove, shirtless, with his broad shoulders tense and looking more bronze in the warm morning light from your kitchen window - stands your boyfriend. Daichi looks like something you’ve plucked out of a dream, and whilst he hasn’t noticed you, simply standing there and appreciating him is what you plan to do; even if he’s currently glaring at whatever he’s trying to cook in the pan.

But Daichi Sawamura has eyes in the back of his head, you’re sure of it. You’re only standing there, staring at his back for only a few seconds before he’s glancing your way, his brown eyes flashing in surprise before a groan tears out of his mouth. You raise your eyebrows at his reaction.

“No no no, go back to bed, they’re not done.” Daichi complains, with pinched brows. He was concentrating really hard on whatever he was cooking, and your curiosity gets the better of you. Ignoring his protests, you smile as you wrap your arms around his toned waist and press a soft kiss between his shoulder blades.

“Are you cooking…” you start, tilting your head to see around his large frame, and into the pan sitting on the stove. The circular and flat thing in the pan gives it away straight away, making butterflies flutter inside your stomach.

“Pancakes?”

“More like cremating them,” he mutters under your breath, and you have to bite your lip to restrain yourself from giggling. You gently tap his abs with your hand and press your cheek to his back, closing your eyes and taking in the warmth that comes from being close to him.

“It’s the thought that counts, right?” You’re one hundred percent sure that your statement would have been far more convincing if your stomach hadn’t chosen that exact moment to growl in protest.

Daichi pivots on his feet, so that his side is pressed against your front and looks down at you frowning. Not at your words, you think, but the whole situation.

“No, it’s not the thought that counts because you can’t eat thoughts to sustain yourself.” Daichi replies with a pointed look. You’re trying really hard not to smile, because you can see how flustered he is about this, so instead you just tilt your head and let a sliver of one slip through.

“Daichi, really it's fine.” You promise, but your words fall on deaf ears as he finally turns to you fully, and you can tell he wants to cross his arms but can't because of your position and the fact he’s got a spatula still in one hand, so instead he just rubs his face. “I’m more surprised that you’re home. It’s a weekday after all.”

The man drops his hand from his face, his hair now a mess from him messing with it, but you think he’s never looked more handsome than in this moment.

“I wanted to take a day off to spend with my girl, and make her breakfast in bed, is that too much to ask?” He asks exasperatedly, waving the spatula around in his other hand.

“Apparently so,” you joke, quickly hip checking him away from the stove, before grabbing the pan and scooping the blackened pancake into the trash. Swiftly washing the pan, you return to the stove once more, turn on the heat and begin to cook the rest of the pancake batter. This time, it's Daichi who is standing behind you, watching over your shoulder as the butter melts in the pan, and you finally pour some batter noto the hot skillet.

“You see, this is why I wanted to cook you breakfast, because you’re always doing the work.” Your boyfriend complains in a groan, resting his forehead against your shoulder as if admitting defeat. A sweet smile pulls at your lips as you take in his gratefulness, because it’s the truth. You’re the one who cooks the meals for you both a lot, but the main reason for that is because you actively enjoy it. A fact he knows well, because he’d never stand for it if you didn’t.

“Yeah but I actually enjoy it. And please, you cook for me sometimes.” You can feel the look he gives you as he raises his head from your shoulder. “Today just isn’t a good example,” You finish, biting your lip to stop you from giggling at his antics.

“I know you enjoy it, I’d never let you cook food for me otherwise.” There ya go. “But I still feel like you do a lot around here, and I'm…” his voice trails off, and you immediately turn around to face him. His voice lacks any of the dominating confidence that he carries without knowing, and that alarms you. You don’t need to look into his eyes to see something is bothering him, but as you mentally make a checklist of his tells, you need to ask.

“Daichi, what’s this actually about?” You ask, your head tilting slightly as his eyes slink away from yours, settling on the small potted herbs resting on your windowsill.

“I was talking to one of the new recruits yesterday, and he made a passing comment after he saw the lunch you made for me.” He explains, and you nod your head encouraging him to continue. You’ve always made him a work lunch from the day you moved in seeing as he had a tendency to get intensely serious in what he was doing, and would often forget to eat. But if you made him food, he’d feel guilty if he forgot to eat it. Had you essentially guilt tripped your boyfriend into being healthy and not forgetting meals, yes, and it was worth it.

“And he mentioned that I was lucky that I have someone that does everything for me, and It made me realise how little i put into this relationship.” Daichi admits and you blink at him for a moment.

And the next, you wack him in the bicep with the plastic spatula in your hand.

“Ow!” he curses, clutching his arm, even though you both know you only tapped him. SO instead, with your free hand, you point right in his face with your index finger, and level him with your most serious glare.

“Now you listen to me Daichi Sawamura, you do not lack effort in this relationship. You are not putting in abysmal amounts. You are the love of my life, and you make me so happy by just simply being in the same room as me, and the fact that you come home to me every day, call me on your break when you're bored, or buy me flowers randomly because you know I'll love them. That is more than enough.” You argue, poking his bare chest with your finger.

“And if anyone tries to tell you that you are anything less than the perfect boyfriend, you’ll have to help me hide a dead body.” Your chest heaves as you finally get all the words out. Daichi is the perfect partner in every sense of the word and the fact that some recruit made him feel less than that really pisses you off.

You’re about to ask for his number so you can beat him with your spatula before warm lips are pressed to yours with a force that almost knocks you back onto the stove. However, strong arms wrap around your waist, stopping the accident before it happens, and you drop the utensil to the floor to slip your hands into Daichi’s short dark hair. Once again you’re gasping for breath when he pulls away, but the smile stretched across his face almost has your head spinning.

“Thank you sunshine, I- I really needed that.” He whispers, placing another kiss to your brow before leaning his forehead against yours. “I love you too,” You close your own eyes, reveling in the peace of the moment, and content that he finally sees what you do.

But the smell of burning interrupts the moment and you immediately curse, turning on your boyfriend and yanking the pan with the now burnt pancake off the heat. Daichi erupts into loud, heart filled laughter from behind you, and you give up, putting the pan in the sink still with the ruined food inside before turning to your boyfriend.

“Want to go out for breakfast?” He asks through his laughter and you nod your head, grinning right along with him. It was the little things like days like today, that made you fall in love with Daichi a little deeper.

✘ EVENT STATUS : CLOSED ✘

#special event 🧚‍♀️✨#daichi sawamura #sawamura daichi x reader #sawamura daichi #daichi hq #daichi haikyuu #daichi x you #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi sawamura x you #sawamura daichi x you

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vanderlustwords · 4 years ago

Text

After You

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

24) You're my ex, but I think I still have feelings for you

Summary: For you, there were two important timelines in your life. There was before Steve and after Steve. Except it was complicated. Before, after, it doesn’t matter. It’s always been Steve for you.

Warning: a n g s t

Note: I was in a mood LOL there will be a part 2! And YES, I’m still working on the requests in my inbox :)

Part I of II

Count: 2085

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Things tend to fall apart before coming together.

It had been that way when you met Steve. You've known him for quite some time, nearly all your life, really.

You had watched him fall in love with Peggy Carter, date her throughout high school and into university. You had watched him clumsily navigate his way through his relationship, eager to please, eager to commit, eager to propose, and have children one day.

And then you had watched him fall apart when Peggy Carter left.

Steve was a mess.

He couldn't eat. He couldn't sleep. He was...lost.

It seemed like Steve would never recover from the emptiness Peggy left in her wake.

He says Peggy Carter was the woman who saw him before he had a massive growth spurt and started working out.

You don't know how to tell him you were--are too.

Even before Peggy Carter.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It had started with nothing more than casual hookups.

The first time had been a drunken mess when you were out with Steve again for the umpteenth time at the bar.

It was Bucky's only idea left on how to get Steve out of the house, and you weren't opposed to it if it got him to leave the house, but you knew this couldn't continue on forever.

And while he was having another drunken rant about Peggy Carter, you watched him with your own heavy-lidden tipsy eyes before grabbing the front of his shirt and smashing your lips to his.

"What are you-"

"Stop," you hissed as you bit his bottom lip in warning, "stop talking about her."

It took him a second, but he wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you close as he kissed you with renewed passion.

Casual hookups turned to friends with benefits.

There were parts of it that gave you both relief and pain. On the one hand, Steve was starting to seem like himself a little again, slowly, but surely. But on the other hand, this wasn't exactly what you had wanted either.

He was looking at you, but not really.

But the small moments you got were what you couldn't afford to lose now that you've experienced it.

And somehow, miraculously, casual hookups turned into a cautious, timid relationship.

"What?"

"Will you?" Steve asked as he swallowed visibly as dawn settled slowly, light flittering through his curtains. "Be my girl."

You slowly turned on your side, a little exhausted after the bedroom activities you've just done with him.

You were unsure; it showed in your eyes, and Steve tensed.

"Why?"

Perhaps it was the way you asked it, but Steve blinked, putting the question and the unsureness in your eyes together. He tentatively pulled you closed to him, relaxing slightly when you didn't push him away. Steve traces your bare spine, warming when you shiver slightly.

"I didn't think there was anything for me after," Steve spoke softly and slowly.

He can talk about Peggy Carter in vague terms now, it's small, but you feel like it shows he's moving on.

"I don't know what any of it really means, but there's you. I see you."

It's not an 'I'm in love with you,' but you still want to cry as you feel the butterflies in your stomach.

Steve holds you close, rubbing your back as he smiles.

"Besides, it's not proper of me to keep sleeping with you like this, I gotta make an honest woman outta you," he jokes, making you laugh as you slap him playfully.

"You're my girl," Steve says after the laughter dies down, almost as if he's testing the words himself.

"Yeah, I am," you smile.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

What you have with Steve is frail. It's shaky, careful, and shy.

It's new for both of you.

Steve's only dating experience is Peggy, and sometimes it feels like he's being overly cautious in watching for signs that you might leave him.

And you're nervous because Steve Rogers is finally yours. You didn't ever think this day would ever come. You were so sure you were going to have to swallow your feelings while you watched Steve and Peggy get married and live their happily ever after.

The first time you had a fight and survived it, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

"I'm NOT upset," Steve firmly insisted.

It was probably the long hours at work the both of you had to endure, meaning less time together.

There were reschedule dates, rushed good mornings and good nights, and sometimes the silence of missing the other person was too loud.

"You clearly are," you rolled your eyes because Steve's hands were clenched in a fist, his lips pressed together in a thin line, and brows furrowed.

"I'm not," Steve repeated. "Nobody likes someone who can't understand that life happens."

He said it so fast that you almost missed it, but you didn't.

It only takes you a second to understand, and you flare up at him with a clenched jaw.

"I am not Peggy Carter," you say through gritted teeth. The name itself seems to make Steve brace himself, but you don't care. "Of course life happens. That doesn't mean it doesn't affect us."

Of course, you understood why Steve was unwilling to show unfavorable emotions.

After all, Peggy had left him for an opportunity somewhere in Europe. Understandably, Steve had been upset when she told him. Steve told her that she should have talked to him about it because he couldn't just uproot his life currently. Peggy said she didn't need his permission to go.

But Steve wasn't asking that she ask for his permission, he was asking where did he stand in her future.

You grabbed his hand in your own, sighing as you pressed your lips to his knuckles.

"Steve, I am not Peggy Carter," you repeat. "If you're upset, then you can say so. I'm not going to leave when we're trying to build a life together. And life isn't just about everything working out without any issues. I want you to tell me if something is bothering you."

Steve stands there, staring at you while you stroke the back of his hand gently with the pad of your index finger while his hand rests on top of your other hand.

And suddenly he's pulling you into a tight hug, his head buried in your hair as he inhales the scent.

"I really missed you," he mumbles.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

Building a life together turns out to be lovely. Knowing you can survive a fight seems to place the two of you in a better place.

Steve hasn't said he loves you, but he sees a future with you. And for now, that's enough.

"You're just glowing, doll," Bucky teases you while the two of you are going to house openings.

Steve couldn't take time off work today, so Bucky offered to go with you.

You laugh bashfully.

"Why? Can you tell?" You smile, and Bucky just smiles softly for a second.

"You're basically wearing a giant neon sign on your head," he smirks. "Lord knows your forehead could fit it."

"Bucky!" Your jaw drops with a hint of a smile as you slap his arm.

He shields himself dramatically, and the two of you laugh, waiting patiently for the realtor to return.

"But, you're happy?" Bucky asks after a moment, soft and serious.

You can't help the smile that forms on your lips.

"Very much so."

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

But, like all good things, they eventually come to an end.

And you wonder if the end was beginning when Peggy Carter returns.

She returns, and it's like she's never left. Peggy is still clever, headstrong, witty and sarcastic, charming, and appreciative.

It's like she never left because she still wants Steve.

Peggy is a no-nonsense woman, but she had no qualms about telling Steve she was still in love with him, wanted him back, and was willing to wait for him.

Even fully aware that he was dating you now.

The entire thing had shaken Steve up. He didn't come home for a couple days, but when he did, he was red in the eyes as he pulled you into a hug.

And he had chosen you.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

For a while, things are okay.

Different.

But okay.

This was obviously was something Steve still struggled with because it didn't seem like Peggy was going anywhere.

When things feel too overwhelming, you sit at the bar where you first kissed Steve, downing shots like it's your job.

Things only go downhill when Peggy is there too, but seemingly picking up food rather than drinking.

"Do you feel no shame at all?" You glare at her in your drunken haze. "You know he's clearly with me, and yet, you're still pursuing him. Where's your morality now?"

Peggy quirks her brow at you, turning to you as she waits for her food.

"Steve is the love of my life," Peggy tells you, "I'm willing to do what I must to be with him."

"He's mine!" You nearly scream at her.

"But he doesn't love you," Peggy says calmly, and she knows she hit the nail right on your head when you're silent.

Peggy sighs as if she's tired of this conversation--of you.

"Look," she tells you, "no matter what you may delude yourself into thinking, I am Steve's greatest love. I'm going to tell you what I told him."

Peggy runs her hand through her hair. "Sooner or later, he'll come back to me because I came back for him. That opportunity for me in Europe was nowhere close to being done, but because I love him--I can't stop loving him, I came back. If this were a movie, I'm his leading lady. And that makes you the side character."

The bartender comes back out with Peggy's food, and she takes it and leaves, not even sparring you another look.

And like a side character, you can only down another shot.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It comes as no surprise to you when Steve, after all that turmoil, returns to Peggy Carter.

You sit alone in the dark of your apartment, texting the realtor at an ungodly hour to back out of the bid for the house.

Still, that doesn't stop you from showing up at the house--your dream home that was supposed to be with Steve.

You stare up at it, eyes empty as flashes of the future that will never be come.

Hours pass, but your feet are rooted there, a stupid, foolish hope that Steve will appear.

But when you feel a jacket slip over your shoulders, and you turn to see Bucky standing there sad for you, you know Steve isn't coming.

"What are you doing standing out here, doll?" Bucky asks.

You turn your head to look at the house before looking back at him, blinking.

"He left me," you say like you're in disbelief.

"Doll..." Bucky whispers, but he doesn't know what to say because Bucky can't say that isn't true.

"It's like all this time, it was just a dream. A dream that Steve was blissfully passing the time with until he reality hit him. And that reality was Peggy Carter," you chuckle hollowly.

But the tears come suddenly, overflowing quick and down your cheeks, even when you wipe them away, so you hide your eyes away in your hands.

Bucky reaching his hand up toward you but freezes before they can touch you.

"He left me," you choke, stuttering on your own breath. "He left me, and I can't breathe."

And Bucky throws out all his thoughts, pulling you into his arms as he holds you tight. He grips the back of your neck through your hair. He holds your head close to his neck as if to hide you from the world.

You feel him swallow, but Bucky doesn't say anything as he holds you while you fall apart in his arms.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

It's easy for you to leave.

Pack everything in your apartment and move to another city.

There's no goodbye letter, no goodbye text. You delete your social media and change your number.

It takes months, but eventually, the new city air feels refreshing, and you feel like you can breathe again.

The only person who may know where you are is Bucky, who visits frequently. And although he is Steve's best friend, he won't open his mouth about you to him.

And you don't ask about your former boyfriend.

You're learning to live your life after Steve.

PART II

#v.myfic #g.angst #g.romance #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x reader angst #steve rogers fanfiction #avengers x reader #steve rogers imagine #avengers imagine #modern avengers au #steve rogers x fem!reader

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