#I'm ambitious for my own happiness

[fake-married-my-dead-fiance]

Review: Twinkling Watermelon

It's a generally good drama. It ended well. I enjoyed watching it but it really wasn't meant for me. I just don't connect with this type of story very much, maybe because my parents didn't expect me to be a trophy and I didn't have super high expectations for myself either (they wanted me to do well and be happy, I achieved that!). I am not an ambitious person at all.

I do have some quibbles. Ha Eun-gyeol was too good at everything: genius guitar player, excellent at sports, emotionally mature (as long as he's not around Yi-chan), AND super smart? It's just too much. He is a Marty Sue. Which made it unrealistic how terrible he was at convincing his father to do things, he was too smart to act that stupid. His whole plan was always to make weird, vague requests with puppy eyes, come on.

I know Ha Eun-gyeol was the main character, but I wish we'd seen On Eun-yoo's ending. Her story was so compelling but we never find out if she fixed things with her parents or if her grandfather survived in this timeline. I wanted a bit more of the girls in general, probably because I found Yi-chan annoying... his arc was good though, I can appreciate it.

I also feel like Daddy Yoon was forgiven way too fast. Make him suffer!

Anyway, I can appreciate that it was a good drama even if it wasn't meant for me. Thanks for the recommendation!

Edit: Sign language is a whole language with a ton of vocabulary and complex grammar, just like any other language. I felt like the acquisition was a bit too fast in the drama. I guess Chung-ah is kind of remembering some from childhood, but it didn't seem totally realistic how fast some characters learned. Drama rules I guess.

[yandere-romanticaa]

What is your ultimate dream? What's the one thing you'd kill for?

[itwoodbeprefect]

one thing i have to hand to people online who leave reviews on obviously low budget westerns is that at least they don't complain that it's an obviously low budget western. it seems that i can't say this for some of the people leaving reviews on obviously low budget queer movies

[quatregats]

I did kind of enjoy the first chapter of Parkinson's Hornblower "biography" because it offered some things that I had either been wondering about or which I thought were delightful little headcanons, but I have to say that since then it has just been making me hate Hornblower an unbelievable amount and/or occasionally go he would not fucking say that

[televinita]

Top 100 Ladies of TV

Looking at old blog posts, many years ago I did a "100 favorite female characters" list, but I have met so many wonderful new ladies now that it is quite out of date and needs a major update to accommodate them. International Women’s Day seems like the perfect time to do so!

Only this time I'm restricting it to TV characters, or I will die of Overwhelm.

NOTE: This list is not in any kind of order, I just wrote them down as they came to mind. I considered alphabetical, but found it was nicer to keep everyone from a given show together. And rather than starting from scratch, I kept as much of the original list as I could and just added newer favorites on at the end, if you're wondering why some of these Very Old Fandoms are clustered at the top.

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who)

Donna Noble (Doctor Who)

Sarah Jane Smith (Doctor Who/The Sarah Jane Adventures)

Kimberly Hart (Power Rangers)

Katherine Hillard (Power Rangers)

Pamela Beesly Halpert (The Office)

Kelly Kapoor (The Office)

Angela Martin (The Office)

Amita Ramanujan (Numb3rs)

Abby Sciuto (NCIS

Ziva David (NCIS)

Abby Lockhart (ER)

Neela Rasgotra (ER)

Sarah Riley (ER)

Rachel Berry (Glee)

Quinn Fabray (Glee)

Tina Cohen-Chang, respect (Glee)

Marley Rose (Glee)

Juliet Burke (Lost)

Alex Rousseau (Lost)

Kensi Blye (NCIS: LA)

Nell Jones (NCIS: LA)

Marisol Delko (CSI: Miami)

Alexx Woods (CSI: Miami)

Calleigh DuQuesne (CSI: Miami)

Samantha Spade (Without a Trace)

Miranda Bailey (Grey's Anatomy)

Cristina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)

April Kepner (Grey's Anatomy)

Addison Forbes Montgomery (Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice)

Sara Sidle (CSI)

Jess Angell (CSI: NY)

Dana Scully (X-Files)

Summer Roberts (The O.C.)

Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Pushing Daisies)

Olive Snook (Pushing Daisies)

Joan Girardi (Joan of Arcadia)

Kat Miller (Cold Case)

Tru Davies (Tru Calling)

Elaine Benes (Seinfeld)

Daphne Moon (Frasier)

Carla Espinosa (Scrubs)

Jordan Sullivan (Scrubs) -- it's either her or Ellie Torres from Cougar Town, real 6-of-1 situation

Donna Pinciotti (That 70s Show)

Jackie Burkhart (That 70s Show)

Kitty Forman (That 70s Show)

Kara Danvers (Supergirl)

Stephanie Tanner (Full/er House)

Grace Adler (Will & Grace)

Lexi Vaziri (Blood & Treasure)

Jaz Khan (The Brave)

Lux Cassidy (Life Unexpected)

Rachel Matheson (Revolution)

Julia Shumway (Under the Dome)

Nancy McKenna (L.A.'s Finest)

Paige Donohue (Scorpion)

Happy Quinn (Scorpion)

Max Black (2 Broke Girls)

Penelope Garcia (Criminal Minds)

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau (Criminal Minds)

Emily Prentiss (Criminal Minds)

Mae Jarvis (Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders)

Reba Hart (Reba)

Cheyenne Hart (Reba)

Jess Parker (Primeval)

Abby Maitland (Primeval)

Sansa Stark (Game of Thrones)

Tani Rey (Hawaii Five-0)

Kate Beckett (Castle)

Alexis Castle (Castle)

Kat Warbler (The Class) - FOREVER UPSET we were robbed of more than 22 eps of her snarky glory!

Ivy Lynn (Smash)

Elizabeth McCord (Madam Secretary herself)

Carrie Heffernan (i'm sorry i LOVE HER) (The King of Queens)

Frankie Heck (The Middle)

Sue Heck (The Middle)

Mindy Lahiri (The Mindy Project)

Lisa Miller (News Radio)

Beth of no apparent last name (NewsRadio)

Sabrina Spellman (the Teenage Witch, Good Version [WB])

Tia Landrey & Tamera Campbell (Sister, Sister) (I know it's rude but they're both aces and this way my list is secretly 101!)

Jade McKellan (Family Reunion)

Holly Tyler (What I Like About You)

Anathema Device (Good Omens)

Eve Baxter (Last Man Standing)

Sabina of no official last name (Siberia)

Ryan Clark (Off the Map)

Phoebe Buffay (Friends)

Monica Geller (Friends)

Rachel Greene (Friends)

Janine Teagues (Abbott Elementary)

Melissa Schemmenti (Abbott Elementary)

Barbara Howard (Abbott Elementary)

Ava Coleman (Abbot Elementary)

Molly Flynn (Mike & Molly, a terrible show made watchable by its women, though I only have room for 1 today)

Henrietta/Hetty Woodstone (Ghosts [CBS])

Shirley Bennett (Community)

Alex Russell (Maid)

Jenny Hoyt (Big Sky)

Cassie DeWell (Big Sky)

In conclusion:

[astrxealis]

i really want to write a song one day

[thebreakfastgenie]

This is going to get me screencapped and ridiculed by leftblr but at this point I don't care.

The way people talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg is misogynistic. This post is not about the merits of her decision to remain in her seat. I've discussed that before and I'm happy to go through it again with anyone who is genuinely interested in the complexities of that situation, but for the sake of this post, I am not arguing that it's unreasonable to believe, with the benefit of hindsight, that the country would be a in a better position today if Ginsburg had retired in 2012. The issue I want to address is how people talk about it.

People who blame Ginsburg for the current state of the Supreme Court tend to throw around words like greedy, selfish, and ambitious, echoing a familiar form of misogyny. Ambition is only bad when women demonstrate it, and women in politics are regularly punished for ambition. Even more disturbingly, people tend to blame not just Ginsburg, but the women and girls who looked up to her. I've seen the "Notorious RBG" nickname derided as a cult of personality, when the reality is that Ruth Bader Ginsburg was a trailblazer and a role model to a lot of women and girls. I've seen leftists try to hide behind valid criticisms of some of Ginsburg's positions (and it should, but doesn't, go without saying that you can see someone as a role model without believing they are correct about every issue all the time) but you barely have to scratch the surface to see that the real complaint is that they think women who admire her are cringe. I don't know if people understand how significant she was; she was only the second woman on the Supreme Court and the first, Sandra Day O'Connor, was a conservative Reagan appointee. Even so, Justice O'Connor spoke about the significance of Justice Ginsburg joining her and reality that women faced in their position being more apparent when she could see it happening to someone else. It's the same old anti-feminist story of dismissing women and their desires.

This particular case rankles me because it's underscored by the complete silence about Anthony Kennedy. Ruth Bader Ginsburg made a judgment call about her health that didn't work out--and barely; she died four months before Trump left office. Anthony Kennedy, a supposed moderate justice who claimed to not want Roe v Wade to be overturned, retired in 2018, knowing full well Trump would replace him with someone who would overturn Roe v Wade. It was Kennedy's replacement, not Ginsburg's, that doomed Roe. The decision was 6-3. If Ginsburg had lived four more months, or retired in 2012 and been replaced with an Obama appointee, the Dobbs v Jackson decision would have been 5-4 in the same direction. Anthony Kennedy was replaced with Brett Kavanaugh, a white man who sobbed crocodile tears when confronted with credible allegations of sexual assault and ultimately faced no consequences. Anthony Kennedy let all of this happen and slunk off into his cushy retirement. Where is the anger for him? He's alive! Being angrier at Ginsburg than Kennedy makes absolutely no sense. There is no logic to explain it, only misogyny.

It doesn't escape my notice that the anger at Ginsburg goes hand-in-hand with blaming women for their own suffering as a result of the Dobbs decision and with blaming Hillary Clinton for the 2016 election, while making any excuse for not voting for her or deriding her for months. It's emblematic of a political system that does not care about women and despises women trying to speak up and make our issues known.

[sims-himbo]

THE SIMS 4: BARBIE Legacy Challenge!

oh hi there! i haven't posted here in a while, but i just watched the barbie movie a few days ago and needless to say, it is now my entire personality. so here's my first ever legacy challenge based on barbie's many, many careers and achievements!

apologies in advance, this challenge uses a lot of packs! i'm sorry! i might try to make a base game version at some point

BASE GAME version

portuguese translation by @demaciana-sims

sims 3 version by @appaloosawhims

challenge rules below the cut

All heirs must be female and named Barbie. (non-heir children may have any name)

You may use the freerealestate cheat for your first house, but try not to use money cheats after that!

You are allowed and encouraged to use lot traits and rewards to boost skill gain, anything that’s in-game is fair game.

Packs you will need:

EPs: Get To Work, City Living, Cats & Dogs, Get Famous, Island Living, High School Years

GPs: Spa Day*, Parenthood

Optional packs (for the optional generations):

EPs: University, Cottage Living, Horse Ranch

GPs: Strangerville

*You only need Spa Day for the High Maintenance trait in one of the generations and nothing else, so it's fine to skip out on it.

You've been raised with traditional values: find a good man, start a family, be a homemaker... But you want your children to aim higher, so you'll make sure to set them up for success.

Complete Successful Lineage aspiration

Max Parenting and Cooking skills

Have at least 3 kids and 1 pet, each child must complete at least one child aspiration and they must all max out their grades in school

Must have Family-Oriented trait

Your mother was happy staying at home, but not you. You're ready to fight your way to the top and make enough money to support your family for generations to come.

Complete Fabulously Wealthy aspiration

Max Charisma and Logic skills

Max Business career (Investor branch)

Must have Ambitious trait

Your family is pretty wealthy, so you've used your funds to open up your very own vet clinic and follow your dreams of being surrounded by furry little guys all day! But it might be more difficult than you thought...

Complete Friend of the Animals aspiration

Max Veterinarian skill

Run a 5-star vet clinic

Have at least 3 pets and be good friends with all of them

Must have either Cat Lover or Dog Lover trait

You grew up surrounded by pets, and you now want to explore even more of the animal kingdom... So you're going underwater! What magical secrets will you discover on your journey?

Must live in Sulani

Complete Beach Life aspiration

Max Conservationist career (Marine Biologist branch)

Become a mermaid

Max Logic and Fitness skills

Must have Child of the Ocean trait

Your mother had an almost supernatural level of fitness at sea, so now you've been inspired to master fitness on land! You're determined to reach your full potential in physical performance and become a world class champion.

Join Cheer or Football team as a teenager and reach highest level

Complete Bodybuilder aspiration

Max Fitness and Charisma skills

Max Athlete career (Athlete branch)

Must have Active trait

Your family has achieved many, many accolades, and you've set out to capture all of it in an epic Tell-All novel that you spend your entire life writing!

Complete Bestselling Author aspiration

Max Writing skill

Write Book Of Life and bind it to your parent, use it to successfully bring them back from a premature death

Must have Creative trait

Movie stardom is the next logical step for your lineage, so you set out to conquer the silver screen. Will you catapult the family name into even greater heights, or will it now be associated with infamy?

Complete Master Actress aspiration

Max Acting skill

Must reach at least Proper Celebrity status

Must have a secret affair with a fellow Actor!

Must have High Maintenance trait

As the child of a successful actress, people may roll their eyes and immediately write you off as yet another nepo-baby trying to start a music career... So you must prove them all wrong by becoming a proper rockstar!

Complete World Famous Celebrity aspiration

Max Singing skill

Max skill in at least 2 instruments

Max Entertainer career (Musician branch)

Must have Music Lover trait

What's next after conquering so many careers and reaching worldwide fame for the family name? World domination, of course! Become the greatest Leader this nation has ever seen!

Complete Mansion Baron aspiration

Max Politician career (Politician branch)

Max Charisma skill

Must have Self-Assured trait

Now that you've conquered the world, it's time to venture out into Space! There's so much to explore out there, and Barbie must leave her mark all across the galaxy.

Complete Nerd Brain aspiration

Max Astronaut career (Either branch)

Max Logic and Rocket Science skills

Go to SIXAM at least once and bring a souvenir

Must have Genius trait

Still want more? Here's some extra Barbies that you can play with!

Secret Agent Barbie

Complete Bodybuilder aspiration

Must have Active and Geek traits

Complete Secret Agent career (Diamond Agent branch)

Max Logic, Fitness and Charisma skills

Become enemies with a Sim in the Villain branch of the Secret Agent career! (You may need to cheat this career level for sims outside your household)

Countryside Barbie

Complete Country Caretaker aspiration

Max Gardening skill

Must make all money from gardening, farming, wine making, etc. No day job!

Must own a horse and have it max every skill

Must have Animal Enthusiast trait

Army General Barbie

Must live in Strangerville

Complete Strangerville Mystery aspiration

Max Logic and Charisma skills

Max Military career (Either branch)

Must have Erratic trait

Scientist Barbie

Complete Nerd Brain aspiration

Max Scientist Career

Be abducted by Aliens at least once

Must have Genius trait

Ultimate Barbie

Set lifespan to long

Complete at least 2 child aspirations

Complete Renaissance Sim AND Academic aspirations

Max 10 skills

Have 12 or more traits

Graduate from college

Reach the top of any career

Have a house worth 1 Million Simoleons

Have at least 5 kids and max your relationship with all of them

that's about it! if you play this, please use #sims barbie legacy

have fun:)

[tswiftupdatess]

Taylor Swift talking about working on The Eras Tour, re-recording, performing with a broken heart and the joy and safety the Tour brings to fans at The Eras Tour Book:

“I'll never forget the call when I explained my idea of the concept for The Eras Tour to my team. At the time, I was working on the Midnights album and if we were to do what I've always done, I would've embarked on planning The Midnights Tour. But there's nothing I hate more than doing what I've always done.

“We're going to call it The Eras Tour and each album will have its own chapter, it's own world.” I told them that I want to fully commit to each era, musically, stylistically and aesthetically. They should feel like time capsules. If we do this right, I said, we can celebrate and honor both new fans and fans who have been here from day one.

It had been 6 years sice I'd toured. In those 6 years, a lot had transpired for me creatively. I release Lover, folklore, evermore, and eventually Midnights. In another real of my priorities was my passion project: re-recording my first 6 albums that were sold away from me by my former record label. Reclaiming my past made me fall back in love with it. Revisiting that past work made me want to honor it and honor what the fans had done for me with the Taylor's Version albums. And so the new albums and my re-records left me with the dilemma: HOW on Earth are we going to play all of this music live? I decided to create the longest, most ambitious show I'd ever even attempted. Averaging at 3 hours and 15 minutes, with 45 songs played. My goal was for every fan to leave that show knowing I gave them absolutely everything I had. I made a promise to myself to be physically and mentally tougher than I ever had been before. To be more disciplined and commited to my health, fitness, and stamina. Thankfully, I'm surrounded by my incredible crew, band, singers, and dancers who all matched my dedication to the massive scale and challenges of this show. We would go on to play this show in the pouring rain, in the blazing heat, in the thickest humidity, in the wildest winds, and in the bitter cold. We would do it if we were sick or exhausted or injured. We would do it with a broken heart. We do this because we love having the rare opportunity to create happiness and wonder up on that stage. We do it because we know it takes time and effort and money and energy to plan out coming to a concert. We do it because every friendship bracelet traded has the potential to become a new friend, and you never know what dreams can be sparked if we succeed in painting a dreamscape in every city we visit. We do it because people need an escape from how brutal life can be, and it is the honor of a lifetime to be that for them, if only for a night. And although we are all on our own in this big scary life, somehow it doesn't feel that way when we're singing the same words as 80,000 other people wearing glittery face paint. We do it because life comes in waves, in phases, in brilliant flurries of magical moments, and all of these things come together to create…Eras.

Here is the official retrospective of the most wondrouds tour of my life, my beloved Eras Tour.

See you next era..”

(November 29, 2024)

[inkskinned]

you get used to it, but it's tiring, because they need you to understand your own life as a series of goalposts. what college are you going to, what's your major going to be, whatcha gonna do with that, oh where will you settle down, when can i expect grandkids.

for the longest time my goals have been so blurry that they track into each other, their undefined edges slipping quietly back into the soft night. today i want to be a writer; tomorrow i will want to be a doctor, later i will wish i took that law school free ride. how the fuck do people just know what they want to do with their life?

where do you want to be in five years? i want to be alive; which is a huge step for me. ten years ago i would have said i want to be asleep and meant i hope that i'm dead by then.

but i want a yellow kitchen and a stand mixer. i want a garden and a fruit tree (cherry, if i can make that happen) and a big yard for my dogs to play in. i want to come home and read poetry out loud to someone and have them close their eyes to listen. i want a summer watergun fight. i want to make snowmen. i want to be the house to go to for halloween. i want my life to settle around me in a softness, for it to lay down gently. if i am very, very, very lucky, i want to travel; finally go someplace overseas.

of course i don't know what i want to be doing professionally. what i actually want to be doing is curling up beside my dog, settling in to read. i want to be making myself a cup of good coffee.

i can't answer the other questions. whenever people asked me what do you want to be when you grow up, i used to say i hope i'm happy.

i hope i'm still kind, five years from now. i hope i never get jaded and mean. i hope i have stayed in therapy. what do you picture yourself doing? when will you actually be an adult about this? why are you so afraid of being ambitious?

am i not ambitious? the other day i rearranged my furniture which doesn't quite fit into my apartment. i watered my plants. i'm going to try to propagate a cherry seed. my five year goal is to spend more time laughing. to lie down in a patch of sunwarm moss. to relax for a minute. to close my eyes and think oh thank god. this is why i stayed. this is finally it.

[killergee]

Wrote this on my phone so sorry if the formatting is wonky. First fanfic since I was a teenager, so pls be kind and enjoy!

Soshiro x reader fanfic where you're cold towards him so he thought you hated him but you actually like him.

Summary: Hoshina thinks you're only out for his position but turns out you might not hate him as much as he thinks.

P1 P2 P3

---------------------------------------------------

"I am grateful and honoured to be recommended for the position of Vice Captain for the second division. However, I wish to be only Captain Ashiro's Vice Captain. Until then, I am happy to remain a platoon leader."

Those were the first words Hoshina heard you say. The first time he met you was at the higher up conference. It was decided that you would be promoted based on your performance in the latest Kaiju attack. But in all honesty, he was barely paying attention as he stood in his position behind Ashiro at the round table. It was one of those monthly meetings that seemed to drag on and on, and he couldn't help but try to stiffle a yawn. It wasn't like he had a say in the decision anyway, so what's the point of listening.

His interest peaked slightly when you walked in. He had seen you around the base a couple of times and had heard your name every once in a while. But his mind was always on training himself, the rookies, and keeping them alive.

He would be lying if he said you weren't a sight for sore eyes. Your gaze was strong, and you held your head high as you presented yourself to the higherups. One of those ice princesses, he guesses, as he shifts his gaze to look at the clock.

Who would've thought you'd be so interesting.

"HAHAHA! It's great to have aspirations," one of the higher ups laughed at your rejection, "too bad Hoshina has already got you beat. You want us to replace Hoshina with you?" A series of giggles erupted around the room.

"Not at all," you said, and Hoshina swears he saw a small smirk break your cold facade. "Hoshina is a fine Vice Captain and one that Captain Mina personally appointed. Simply put, when the time comes and Captain Ashiro needs someone else, I just want to be ready for the call," you replied with what he thinks is a bit of mirth in your eyes. He also could've sworn your gaze shifted to him at the end.

Your statement was strong, ambitious, and slightly threatening even. You've practically announced that you were out for his position and if he is ever deemed unfit, you'll be the one who'll snag it from him.

He swears that was the moment he was hooked on you.

Yet, it seems it wouldn't be easy to see that break in your facade again. Well, at least not easy for him. Somehow it wasn't until this point that he noticed how popular you were. According to everyone else, you were cool, fun, and kind. So why is it that you're always so cold towards him? He's heard your platoon absolutely gush about you to everyone they've met. He's seen you crack an unwilling smile to some of the younger cadets on the training field from a distance. Hell, he's even eaves dropped on you joking with his own squad.

"Hibino-kun, I heard you wanted to stand beside the Captain," you said slyly as you sat infront of Kafka in the study room. You were resting your head on your hand and eyeing at Kafka in a way that makes even Hoshina gulp. Though, probably in a different way from Kafka. Kafka flushed and tried to look at anywhere but you, "y-yeah I'm gonna try my best to do so... I also heard that you, um, were also aiming for Vice Captain?" He scratched his head a bit embarrassed but you only looked even more amused as your gaze sized him up as if evaluating him and his ambitions.

"That's right" you said with a mischievous smile.

"So I guess that makes us enemies for now, haha"

"No. Not necessarily," you sighed crossing your arms on the table and leaning forward as if to tell Kafka a secret. "You know the saying, the enemy of your enemy is your friend. So you and I are friends."

"And who's the enemy?"

"Hoshina, of course."

Well, isn't that something Hoshina thought. At least Kafka was enjoying himself.

"I guess he is," he said shoulders slumping, finally loosening up and laughing.

"Once he's out of the picture then we'll be enemies and I'm warning you, you don't want to be my enemy," Hoshina heard you joke back.

"Is that so?"

"Vice Captain!" Kafka shouted as he stood up to salute him as Hoshina entered the room. You on the other hand, seemed to be taking your sweet time getting up to salute him.

"Sir," you said flatly, all the humour you once had vanishing. Your eyes bored into his as if you were looking at an ant beneath your boot.

Right. Not easy. Definitely not easy at all.

"Do ya really see me that way y/n-kun?" Hoshina said as he walked to stand infront of you. "Why, you're hurting my lil' ol' feelings."

He knew he was standing closer to you than you'd like. With how your cheek slightly twitched, he can't say he wasn't enjoying this.

"I apologize, sir," you mumbled as if it pained you to say. "If it pains you so much why don't you go on leave? Take as much time as you need to recover."

"Oh? And let you take over my position?" He responded with a growing smile that showed off his fang.

"Or Hibino-kun can," you responded bringing back Hibino into the conversation.

"Um!" Hibino squeaked and both you and Hoshino snap your heads to look at him. "I-I uh... Nevermind."

"That's 5 laps for you, Hibino"

"What? Why I didn-"

"You want to do 10?" Hoshina threatened as a sliver of his eyes opens.

"No, sir!" Hibino salutes before hurrying himself out of the situation—scared he'll upset his vice captain even more.

With only the two of you left in the room, your slight step backwards doesn't go unnoticed by Hoshina.

"And how many laps do you want me to run, sir?" You asked in a way that Hoshina knows that if he were to discipline you, you'd pull your rank and find a way to refuse. Or perhaps you'll do it anyways and exaggerate his cruelty as a Vice Captain. So instead, why not take this opportunity to interrogate you?

"None. Just wanna talk"

"But Hibino-"

"Hibino-kun this Hibino-kun that. Do ya like the guy that much?" Hoshina cuts in, irked in a way he doesn't really understand.

"Negative. Just thought you'd be more fair," you responded flippantly, your eyes sharp and questioning.

"And who says you'll go unpunished?" Your eyes widened at that—but just as quickly as it did—your face returned to its calm and collected facade. Enjoying seeing the briefest crack in your composure, Hoshina started to wonder what else makes you tick and what other expressions can you make.

With a smirk he leaned back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands clasped behind his back. "Say how long have you been in the force?"

The twitch of your eyebrow tells him you're thinking, what does that have to do with being punished. But you still responded, "six years, sir."

"Ahh so a little bit after me. No wonder. I would've remembered a face like yours in my cadet days." He said with a teasing smile. You seem to freeze a bit at his flirtation and it might be wishful thinking but did he see a small blush? Before he could think about it any further you responded, "yes, how very unfortunate we couldn't have entered the force together. Perhaps things could've been different if I had," insinuating something else.

"You're really out for my blood aren't you y/n-kun?" He chuckled lightly.

"Nope. Not really," you said nonchalantly seemingly finding his shoulder more interesting to look at. Hoshina leaned down to cut your line of sight. Face tilted at an angle, he leaned close to your face to force your eyes on him.

"Hmmm this is no good y/n-kun. We're supposed to be comrades, but where's the comraderie? How can we fight kaiju while bickering?"

"We'll survive," you said exasperated.

"Say, ya know what? I think I've thought of the perfect punishment for ya!" Hoshina exclaimed with an almost boyish excitement. He leaned back against the table and crossed his arms. "Since ya wanna be Vice Captain so bad, for your punishment ya have to follow me 'round and help me out with my duties."

"Like a servant?" You responded bewildered with his idea.

"Servant, slave, Vice Vice Captain. Call it whatever ya want. This way we can form a better relationship, which, hey, will set a great example for the kids," he joked only to be responded with your incredulous face that couldn't even bother to hide your grimace. "If anything, it'll benefit you too since you get to see what I do," he continued, shrugging slightly. "Maybe you can even find all my weaknesses and make a huge list to use against me to get my position," Hoshina chuckled at the thought.

After a beat of silence, Hoshina was moments away from taking it all back when you said, "okay, send me your schedule." This time, it was Hoshina whose eyes widened. He fully expected you to reject it. Hell, he suggested it in the first place because he wanted to see your reaction and how'd you go about rejecting him. Well, things are about to get fun.

His mouth curled into a grin. "Meet me at my office by 7am tomorrow," Hoshina said as he headed out of the room. "Get some rest, you'll need it."

"Whatever you say, your highness, bowlcut motherfucker," he heard you mumble under your breath as the door clicks close behind him.

Oh yea. This will be fun.

‐------------

It's been three weeks since you've been tasked to follow him around. Three weeks of teasing and getting to know each other. Three weeks of little change in your attitude towards him, Hoshina thinks sadly. He thought that he would've been able to win you over with this extra time together. Yet, it seems that he was the only one being won over.

He couldn't stop himself even if he tried. Your quick and witty comebacks. Your cold phrasing and comments that are unintentionally funny (or perhaps they are intentional and it's just your humour?). Your earnest efforts in completing the ridiculous tasks he's assigned you. The glimmer in your eyes and your attempts to stop a smile when you're trying to pretend he isn't funny. He couldn't help but be drawn towards you—basking in the light that you emit, the light you try to hide behind your cold facade.

He wonders if you could tell. If you noticed the glances he threw your way. If you saw how he lit up when you entered the room. If you could see how distracted he became when you sat and worked beside him. Shoulders only a hair's breath apart. So close that he could only smell your sweet perfume and watch your fingers fiddle with the edge of paper. He always had to stop himself from leaning closer until his nose rested in the crook of your neck—until he could breath you in deeper. Oh how he longed to close his hand over yours so that you could hold onto something more stable than paper. How he wished to distract you the way you distracted him.

Hoshina huffs out a sigh as he walks out of the captains meeting with the other divisions. Ashiro couldn't attend so he went in her stead—much to Captain Narumi's displeasure. He did take you with him hoping that after this maybe he could convince you to get ice cream with him or something on the way back home to base. He can already imagine how bored you were waiting for him and how that might higher your chances of saying yes. He remembers you were talking with some other recruit from the 1st division when he left you in the break room.

The sound of your voice makes him halt a couple of steps infront of the break room.

"Eh? No way you think Captain Narumi is cooler than Captain Ashiro," he hears you argue.

"I'm sorry are your eyes broken or something? He's so hot. You can't compare him to her like that. They're two different kinds of hot" the girl he assumes he saw earlier responds passionately.

"Sure I'll concede to that but not to him being cooler." That's not something Hoshina wanted to hear right after his hours long meeting. Leaning back against the wall beside the slightly opened door, he can't help but feel irked. He couldn't believe he's getting jealous of Ashiro.

"Ugh that's just cuz you haven't seen him up close yet, " the other girl responds. "But hey, at least there's one thing we can agree on."

"And what's that?" You ask and Hoshina can tell your interests has been peaked.

"That Vice Captain Hoshina is the worst of the bunch." Hoshina's eyebrow twitches and he has half a mind go in there and make the recruit do 200 push-ups or try to find Narumi and beat him into a pulp. He doesn't because he was more curious about your response.

"I saw you rolling your eyes at him before the meeting. It must be tough working for him," the recruit continues.

You let out a tired laugh, "oh yeah, he's the worst. He's got me running around like a servant!" You say with a sigh and you lean your head onto your crossed arm on top of the table.

"Really! That's crazy. I just can't get over his bowlcut."

"RIGHT! His stupid bowlcut. His stupid fangs. His stupid cocky attitude..." Alright, well. Hoshina couldn't handle anymore of this. He pushed himself off the wall ready to open the door.

"God, I want him so bad." Huh? Hoshina froze in his steps, eyes wide open. Did he mishear you? He must have misheard you.

"HUH?" The recruit repeats a second later. "But you were just calling his hair stup-"

"It is stupid. He should not look that hot with that hair cut," you ramble on seriously as if in a world of your own.

"Stupid little fangs. I hate the way he uses them to nibble on his lips when he concentrates. Why the fuck does he have fangs?! Is he a vampire? God, it's so distracting." Although you're saying all of this like a rant, Hoshina can't help but overheat in his uniform. Covering half his face with his hand he already knows he's red.

"What? Are we looking at the same person?!" The recruit exclaims exasperated with you.

"I think I'm losing my mind," you say running your hand through your hair trying to soothe yourself. "He's so annoying. Always teasing me and sticking so close to me. God I feel like I'm always a second away from tearing at my hair or tearing that stupid compression shirt off. Any tighter and he won't be able to breath. It's like he's doing it on purpose to show off his abs." Hoshina chokes on his own spit.

"You know what? M-maybe it's cuz you haven't gone on a date in a while. Maybe you just need to get laid." The recruit says with a touch of worry—genuinely trying to find any rhyme or reason to your attraction.

"Ughhhh," you say sliding down your chair. "Maybe you're right, I should get laid." There's a pause before you're suddenly sitting back up straight. You lean towards the recruit across the table, "maybe I'll ask Captain Narumi out."

NO "NO!! He's off limits don't you fucking dare!" The recruit screams standing up abruptedly and slamming her hands onto the table.

By the sounds of your maniacal laughter, Hoshina hopes you're only joking.

"Don't worry," you wheeze out, wiping a tear from your eye. "Your precious Captain is all yours." Hoshina hears the humour and mischief in your voice and he can't help but smile too. From the sound of your voice, he knows you're not done teasing the recruit.

"PLUS-" Ah, there she goes " Vice Captain Hoshina is much much MUCH cooler than Captain Snorumi anyways."

The scandalous gasp does well to hide his own snicker.

"HOW DARE YOU!"

"That's just the truth, hun. We all know it," you say matter of factly as you lean back into your seat crossing your arms.

"You can't even compare someone who's only a Vice Captain to a Captain! Captain Narumi climbed the r-"

"Oh is being Captain all it takes to be cool? Well Narumi must've been a drag before he became Captain." You argue back defiantly and cheekily, clearly enjoying this.

"Well swords are powerless against a gun! He can't-"

"And yet he was able to be promoted to Vice Captain with his swords while some of us can't even become a platoon leader with their guns." Both the recruit and Hoshina gasp at that and Hoshina decides to interrupt before the situation escalates further. If only he was a little less responsible. He would've loved to see how far you'd go for him. Oh well, he has all the time in the world to corner you about it.

"Yoohoo! The meetings over y/n-kun- Ah, sorry, was I interrupting something?" He says with a grin as both your heads snap towards him scandalized. Well, the recruit appears to be scandalized. You seem to be mortified.

Your jaw dropped open and the red that was flushing your skin from the tip of your ears all the way down to your neck was so pleasing. To think that you yourself would be the downfall of your cool and collected image amuses Hoshina greatly. He can only stare and admire the mess you've become. Too cute. Way too cute for his heart.

"C-captain!" Your voice cracks. Oh, even cuter. "I uh- I, we were- you didn't interrupt anything at all" you say clearing your throat and trying to regain your composure.

"What's got ya all worked up l/n?" He asks with false innocence as he tilts his head, "were you talking about something you shouldn't be?" He teases with a slight lilt in his voice.

"Of course not!" Growing a shade brighter you add "Sir!" to try to save yourself.

"Well alright then, come on let's go, I'm over this place," Hoshina says nodding his head goodbye at the recruit and exiting the room. He hears you whisper shout your own goodbyes before running to catch up with him. You stop and walk slightly behind him and he can't help but revel in your embarassment. He wonders if he should let you off easy or see how far he can push you...

"So you think my hair is stupid?"

He swears he can hear you internally scream.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A Changed Future (2) | Yandere Isekai

Part 1

It’s so irritating for Haruko 

He remembers how he used to try and make noise in the beginning, when the same thing happened to him

But even without your struggling, he’s got more obstacles than he thought

“Tch all these guys getting in our way, maybe I should just kill them.”

“Haru no!”

“Why not, I'm sure you did it when I was trapped.”

“That…that doesn’t make it right!”

“So? Who cares about right when we’re in love? I think it was you who said that.”

Either way with or without your approval he’s figuring out a way to take down his newfound rivals

He kind of hopes they are as ambitious as the friends who recently abandoned him

Too bad they aren’t

In the original story, the crazy thing about the protagonist was that despite their obsessive love for Haruko and general disregard for those who got in the way of that was otherwise really inspiring

Breaking away from their elitist family for their violent morals ironic right

Joining the workforce, easily rising because of their work ethic and intelligence

And all that while beautifully evading a less-than-clean detective trying to pin the blame of random crimes on them

Which of course got them their own male leads attempting to pursue their affections

Always doomed to fall short because of circumstance or the protagonist suavely crushing their hopes to gush about their love

It was a uniquely terrible tragedy for their characters to be written this way

That’s what the random reviewers would say

Which is why you did feel inclined to maybe entertain them a bit more than the original protagonist would have ever done

“Since you are quitting….I hope you’ll let me treat you to dinner. For all your hard work of course.”

“Uh sure but I have to be home by sunset.”

“That’s a shame then we’ll have to—Wait. Did you say you would?”

“Yeah, are you okay?”

“YES! Ahem I mean yes I’m fine! I look forward to a nice evening together!”

Unknowingly furthering the obsession the protagonist was barely keeping at bay

“So mind telling me what you ordered that day at the restaurant?”

“I think it was my favorite dish there called the berry delight but I’m not sure. I think they changed the menu since I was there.”

“Why not confirm it later today? That way you can tell me if you did see the missing classmate of yours.”

“But I don’t remember exactly where I sat–”

“Then we’ll just have to sit in every spot until it rings a bell.”

“I don’t know if that’s–”

“Don’t fret. I’ll be paying but there's no way we’ll get to try every table. We’ll have to come back multiple times.”

“Okay…”

“No worries I’m sure you’ll get tired of eating there so we’ll go to some other places to give you a rest. Anywhere you wanted to try?”

You’d be foolish to think you could escape them by agreeing to Haruko’s entrapping of you 

It only takes a day of you not responding to messages that they both eagerly awaiting you at your door

And after the first few times, Haruko shooing them away they begin to get resourceful

“Yeah bud nice try their still out.”

“Hm well say that to my lovely warrant right here.”

“Wait! H-h-hold on! Geez I-i’ll go get them now but they are not going to be happy with you!”

It really doesn’t get better as the guard against the protagonist’s secrets begins to be let down as interested parties slowly make their way in

You don’t have the same ruthlessness or ability to deceive as the protagonist you took over for 

On top of that you never actually read the webtoon so you’ll be left trying to piece together whatever few weak points the protag has

Where if you hadn’t already started to make your pursuers interested all those faults are fuel for their agenda

“It’s so unfortunate that the company can sign off on your absence during this suspicious crime but I don’t mind editing records if you wouldn’t mind spending time with me. That way I can vet your personality myself. Over wine of course!”

It’s overwhelming constantly being pulled in 3 directions 

What’s worse you’re completely oblivious when the latest obstacle in the protag’s perfect life finally makes themselves known

“Hello darling, it took us years to find you but we did it!”

“Don’t look like that come give your Mama a hug!”

Part 3: Coming Soon

[raya-hunter01]

The Christmas Present

One-shot

PAIRING:  Roman reigns x OC Starr

Word Count: 5,832

Warning: Smut

What do you do when your bestfriend you've known all of your life tells you he wants to unwrap you for christmas and you've always wanted him to be your first?

Sorry this one was late, it was requested months ago and i'm finally working through requests in my inbox. Happy New Year everyone

As I made my way inside, I felt somewhat out of place as it seemed I had walked into a tense situation as Jey guided me further into the house. I already was two hours late because I had to help my mom wrap some gifts for my niece.

“Jey, who was that yelling before you opened the door?” I asked. “Just Sarah acting a damn fool,” he said continuing to guide me through the beautiful two-story home.

“Wait…Sarah, as in Roman’s cheating ass ex…Roman told me she was history.”

“Oh, she is…..Has been for about months but won’t take the hint.”

 Everything seemed calmer now that I was inside, as Christmas music filled the room, and everyone seemed to be in their own world.

Seeing a few familiar faces, I waved but stayed close to Jey as my eyes scanned the room finally spotting Roman and Sarah talking in the corner.

His stoic expression and powerful stance made many nervous but not me. I could tell he wasn’t pleased she had crashed his party but was trying to be respectful.

“How is he really doing, Jey?” I asked as he sighed looking at his cousin shaking his head. “He’s on edge you know, especially with the back-to-back losses. Big Uce, is getting better though.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make Alfa’s funeral; I wanted to be there.” I said looking at my best friend really taking him in. He looked so tired, his beautiful beard more full and now had spots of gray.

“Starr, stop that…..You came home to be with us for Uncle Sika’s funeral, stood in the gap for me and was there for big Uce.”

“Hey, that’s what family does,” I assured him giving him a hug.

“I’m glad you home, we be worried about you.” he whispered as I caressed his back.

“I’m fine, besides I didn’t re-enlist this time, twenty years in the Airforce is enough,” I said as Jey held me tighter.

“I am so happy for you…I know he's gon’ be happy you back home. I mean it is for good right?”

“Yea, I’m home for good.”

“Good, cause that beautiful house you bought deserves to be lived in.”

“I know and thank ya’ll for helping mama keep it up for me.”

“You know dat wasn’t a problem. We were just worried about you all the way over in Italy by yourself.”

“I know but at least I’m home now.”

I knew how much they worried about me, but I was so thankful they supported my decisions. We had all been inseparable since the age of five, so it was a big change when we all graduated, and all went our separate ways.

The twins and Roman went off to college and I went into the Airforce following in my father’s footsteps. What can I say, we were some ambitious young people with the world at our fingertips.

“Booger we missed you!” Jimmy yelled, pulling me out of Jey’s arms scooping me up in a hug bear hug as I rolled my eyes.

“Ugh get off me, you just always have to bring up that mean ass nickname,” I hissed as he put me down laughing.

“Ignore him, you know he’s special,” Trin jokes slapping him on the shoulder as Jey cleared his throat trying to stop laughing.

“Aye, it ain’t my fault she kept a booger nose when we were kids.”

“Just like it ain’t my fault your bed stayed pissy when we were kids,” I countered as Jey and Trin busted out laughing.

“Daaaammmn! She got yo’ ass.” Jey laughed as Trin, and I embraced.

Our banter cut short as we heard Roman raising his voice. “Look just leave, Sarah!”

“I ain’t leaving without you! We can work this out!” she screamed as I looked at Trin and she shook her head as Jey’s wife Candice came over.

“Can you believe this shit?” she asked as Jey pulled her close and kissed her on the temple.  “Bae, let it go.”

“I mean how you cheat on somebody and now you here begging like ain’t shit happened?” Trin asked as I shook my head as Jimmy tapped me on the shoulder gently.

“What do you have in mind, sis. I see you thinking over there?”

“I’m gonna get Roman outta here, maybe have him take me home so he can get a break,” I said looking at my watch realizing it was close to 11 :00 anyway.

“You do that, and we will get her outta here, then shut down the party and lock up,” Trin said as I left them heading towards the ex-couple.

The look of happiness on Roman’s face when he spotted me made me smile as he ignored Sarah, scooping me up in his arms as soon as I was within arm’s reach.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming home,” he whispered in my ear as I chuckled. “What’s the fun in that, now come take me home..I want to give you your Christmas present” I whispered feeling the tension leaving his body.

“Shit, I been ready for that.…let’s go, you ain't gotta tell me twice,” Roman said ignoring Sarah putting me down as Jey tapped her on the shoulder.

“Aye, time to go shawty, party is over for you,” he said as she scoffed.

“Wait, so you gon’ throw me out Jey and you leavin’ with her Roman!? Roman…Roman come back!” she screamed as Roman, and I headed towards the backdoor.

---

Roman’s POV

I looked back just in time to see Trin grabbing Sarah by the arm leading her out of the living room. Something tells me that I wouldn’t have a problem with Sarah after tonight by the look on Trin and Candice’s face.

 They both had been looking for a reason to beat her ass since they found out she had cheated on me and was still sniffing around.

I was anxious to be alone with Starr. The last time we were alone we almost crossed a line, there was no coming back from, but we stopped ourselves.

As I helped her in the car, I really didn’t even know how to approach the elephant in the room. Closing her door, I gave myself a pep talk as I walked around to the driver’s side.

“Don’t fuck this up, just be in the moment with her.” If it happens, it happens. If it does or doesn’t nothing changes between ya’ll.”

Four months ago

“Roman we got to stop,” Starr panted as I kissed her neck, my hands roaming her body.

“Why..This what we both want,” I moaned pulling her closer wrapping her legs around my waist grinding against her as she gasped in shock.

“I do but You’ve been drinking, and so much is going on. You’re not thinking clearly.”

“Oh, so now it’s something wrong with me because I want to make love to you. You told me, you wanted me to be your first, remember.” I said throwing back a conversation we had months prior.

“Roman, I do but you know right now isn’t the right time. Roman, stop you’re drunk and this isn’t you,” Starr moaned finally pushing me away as I held my hands up in the air in surrender.

She was right.. I didn’t know what had come over me, maybe it was the alcohol and everything that had happened.

“Look, I’m sorry… I’ll just crash in the other room,” I whispered grabbing my shirt not wanting to make the night worse.

“Roman, I want us to ta-”-

“Talk? Is that what you were about to say? Well, I’m tired of talking to people.. I just- I just wanted…. Look forget it, this was obviously a mistake coming here, so I’mma crash in your spare bedroom.”

“Roman, we gotta talk about what all this means, you can’t just turn off your emotions. You got to talk about it,” Starr pleaded as I shut down.

“Look, I buried my dad a few days ago…Things will never be the same for me ever again and I just wanted to be close to you.  I thought you felt the same, and I just made an ass outta myself. What else is there to talk about.”

“I do want - I-I-just not like this, please-”

“Starr, I’ll catch you in the morning before I head out,” I said leaning over kissing her tenderly on the forehead before leaving the room ignoring her pleas for me to stay.

I made a total mess of things that night, but Starr never judged me. We went about things as usual and had never discussed that night. Two weeks ago on the phone she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I laid it all out on the table.

“I sent your present off today; I hope you like it since you wouldn’t cooperate and give me some idea of what you wanted for Christmas.”

“You ain’t ready to know what I really want for Christmas, especially since you’ve been all I’ve been thinking about for the last four months.”

 “I've been thinking about you too. I wish I could be there in person but I’m still waiting to find out if they approved my leave or not,” Starr said moving around her kitchen as watched her every move.

“ You know what i really want for christmas....

"What?"

"I just want to unwrap you and get lost in you.".

"Roman."

"Aye, you asked and I told you . The shocked look on her face making me shrug my shoulders. Hell I ain’t have nothing to lose at this point. One thing my father's passing taught me was that life was too short, and i'm gonna go after what I want...And I wanted Starr.

“Roman, stop playin’ with me.” Starr stuttered nervously as I chuckled.

“I’m serious, you asked me what I wanted for Christmas.”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to tell me that you wanted me as a Christmas present.”

“Even if it’s only one night I can’t imagine a better gift than to get lost in you.”

“Roman-”

"Beautiful tree, fireplace, and you under me writhing in pleasure as I take you to heights you couldn’t dream of,” I groaned hearing her gasp.

“You’re not playing fair, this is dangerous,” she whispered as I smiled.

“I love danger,” I said dropping my voice an octave deeper knowing it was driving her crazy. I knew it was because I knew my Starr.

“Ro-”

“Tell me you ain’t curious, especially after what happened that night? Look just think on it.”  

Man, I still can’t believe I said but it got us here..Well at least I hope. Listening to her hum along with the Christmas songs on the radio brought me out of my thoughts.

“I-I-I don’t want a lot for Christmas,” she sang softly as I felt my heart flutter.

“Alright Miarah Carey,” I joked as she blushed. “Don’t do me, I can carry a little tune.”

“Yea, you can which is why I just let you do your thing,” I said pulling into her garage.

“Oh, you pulling in the garage like you know you staying,” she joked getting out the car as I felt my dick jump in my pants.

“I wouldn’t be against it,” I mumbled getting out following her close. Her phone ringing almost startled her as she sighed picking up.

“Ma’ I just made it home,” she said putting the phone on speaker walking around cutting the lights off downstairs as I unplugged the tree.

“Damn, you meant you weren’t staying long when you said it, huh? Did you get to see everyone?”

I smiled hearing her mom giving her the fifth degree as Starr shook her head.

“Yes, I saw everyone Ma… The guys are fine, matter fact Roman just dropped me off,” Starr said putting her finger over her lips as I chuckled following her upstairs.

“Mama, I’m about to go to bed and I will be over before Riely gets up.”   

As soon as the door closed, I closed the distance between us wrapping my arms around her trying to ease her nerves. “Relax….I gotchu,” I assured her as she blushed.

 I mean it’s one thing to talk on the phone and talk about what you want to do, but to actually do it is another thing. I knew as bad as I wanted to be with her, if she said no I wouldn’t push the issue.

“Roman are we really about to do this,” she whispered looking at me in wonder as I gently kissed her on the forehead.

“Only if you want..I don’t want you to do something you don’t want,” I confessed truly giving her an out even though inside I was pleading with the gods that she wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

The thought of being the first man to make love to her stirring something primal within me.

“Make yourself comfortable. I got to get outta this dress,” she whispered putting her phone down heading into her master bath putting any questions I had to rest.

“Take all the time you need.”  Heading over to the fireplace, I took my coat off. The beautiful vintage Christmas tree illuminating her bedroom. The ice sickles hanging from the tree with the old school Christmas lights and ornaments were a beautiful touch.  

Starr’s POV

“Ok….Just calm down. This is Roman not some stranger. You’ve wanted this since you were fifteen,” I whispered trying to build up my courage, pulling my dress off and jumping in the shower.

What if I disappoint him…..Fuck, what if he disappoints me?

Who the fuck am I fooling, Roman knows what he’s doing. I’ve seen this man and the shit he does when he’s on TV. What if I get addicted to him, I mean it’s supposed to be one time right?

 My mind instantly thinking back to Sarah, even though she cheated, Roman still has her ass sprung…. Getting out of the shower I was still trying to make heads or tails of the situation I found myself in.

“You ok in there Starr?” Roman's deep voice penetrated the walls as my thighs clenched thinking about him penetrating something else. That damn voice.....Gives me chills...Oouu, I wonder does he talk you through it?

Damn, I’m officially in my brain and nervous as shit now.

“I’m ok, just got out the shower, I’ll be out in a minute,” I said drying off as I heard him move away from the door. Get it together Starr, you a grown ass woman and this is what you both want..Stop making it complicated."

Who am I kidding, it is complicated…I love him…I’ve loved him since high school…”Yea, this is a bad idea,” whined quietly before taking a deep breath up because even if it was a bad idea, there was no turning back now.

After putting on some lotion I tied one of the red satin Christmas bow sashes I had ordered around my breasts and another around my hips. Yea, I wanted him to get the full picture of unwrapping me from top to bottom.

Slipping on my robe I came out to see him sitting on the edge of the bed admiring the tree.  “I turned on the fireplace.”

“Um, thanks. The bathrooms all yours.” I almost forgot to breathe as he stood up and took his shirt off.

“Thanks, beautiful. I promise I won’t take long,” he said dropping a tender kiss on my forehead before going in the bathroom. I finally released the breath I was holding when he closed the door, and I heard the shower start.

Taking off my robe, I turned the covers down. “It’s a night of fun…Just enjoy, don’t think.” I kept repeating to myself over and over as I laid on my side and faced the bathroom patiently waiting for Roman…I mean good things do come to those that wait.

Hearing the water cut off, I sat up on my knees anxiously waiting for him. A newfound confidence took over me as the door opened and I heard his sharp intake of breath as he stood there clad in only a towel. His body still glistening, and hair wet.

“Damn, you look so beautiful,” he whispered licking his lips as I bit my lower lip nervously.

“Merry Christmas,” I whispered reaching my hand out to him as he slowly made his way towards me dropping his towel.

Oh…My…God..He is a Greek God…Keep your cool Starr.

“Are you sure?” he asked his voice thick with need as I blushed only pulling him closer truly taking in all of him for the first time.

“I don’t want you to fe”-

Grasping his hands I placed them on the satin bow, my eyes never leaving his. “I want this, and I want it to be you.”

I couldn’t help but moan as I watched him through hooded eyes. “Just let me know if you want me to stop,” he whispered, our lips finally touching and like a moth to a flame I surrendered. The unbridled passion behind it taking my breath away.

“Unwrap your Christmas gift, Roman,” I whispered as his hands touched the satin red bow, a low groan escaping his lips as his eyes trailed over my body.

The fact he was so turned on and unsure where to start made my heart race. The sexy deep groan his that spilled from his lips as my hips moved against him made my pussy purr in need.

“Shit, you look so beautiful like this…Anxious to give yourself to me.”

His voice…Oh my god his voice.

“Please, Roman,” I pleaded as he licked his lips. “Can I unwrap my Christmas present,” he murmured as I nodded anxiously.

“Use your words… Can I have my Christmas present now?”

“Yes, you can,” I gasped as he finally untied the sash. Leaning down, his mouth enclosing around my breasts, taking his time exploring each one as I squirmed beneath him ready to come undone from the sensual action as his eyes never left mine.

“Mmhm, I knew you were sensitive. Bet you so wet,” he rasped. Moaning softly, I entangled my fingers in his hair as he feasted upon my breasts seemingly determined to stay there having discovered how sensitive I was.

“Roman, I need it,” I pleaded. His hands cupping my breasts kneading them together as he took both nipples in his mouth devouring them as if they were his last supper. His gaze still piercing my soul.

“Fuck, just thinkin’ bout you, got me bout to cum?” he mumbled as his mouth continued to ignite a deep fire within me as his kisses move passed me stomach, his tongue swirling, then dipping inside my navel.

“Go lower, please.”

“You taste so good, baby.” He praised, as I writhed beneath him. Hand hands masterfully untying the second red satin bow leaving me now fully exposed.

“Merry Christmas to me,” I faintly heard him whisper, the first stroke of his long tongue against my pussy almost making me cum as I gasped looking down at him in shock.

“Roman!” Shit he’s dangerous, that was just one stroke. Watching him flatten his tongue, with each long stroke I became more undone.

 “Umhm, it’s Roman and I’mma bout to make you cum all night. Now hold dem legs for me,” he commanded bending them towards my chest as I compiled.

Roman’s POV

The quiver in her legs and pleasure etched across her face as I made love to Starr with my tongue will the imprinted in my mind forever.

The strangled whine that escaped her beautiful lips as I began thrusting my third and forefinger along with my tongue continuously stroking her, ignited a deeper purpose within me….

To blow her fucking mind… For her to feel what it was like to be with me…Hell, to ruin her for every man after me that would even dare try to have her writhing under them in pleasure.

“You gon’ cum sweetness?” Yea, that’s her new nickname from now on..Pussy sweet like honey.

“Yes, I’mma cum…. Ooouu, right there..Right there….Fuck, just like that, Roman, don’t stop,” Starr cried as my fingers and tongue moved in sync determined to make her cum harder than she ever has.

“Yes! Oh, fuck Roman!” Starr screamed, her legs falling onto my shoulders as her back arched in pleasure satisfying my thirst for the moment.

Fuck, I love a good squirter… “Good fuckin’ girl,” I praised, removing my fingers, grasping her hips, wanting more…I needed more.

“Roman!” Starr squealed as I flipped her over onto her knees spreading her legs slightly.

“What are y-”

The words dying across her tantalizing lips as I laid between her legs on my back straight Salivating at the sight of her dripping pussy above me. “I want you to sit on my face and I want you to nut like you ain’t never nutted before,” I commanded as she looked apprehensive.

“Roman, I’m too bi-”

Not giving her a chance to finish her that thought I pulled her onto my face moaning in appreciation as she began to wind her hips slowly.

“Is this what you wanted?” she gasped, planting her hands on my stomach beginning to ride my face with more confidence, chasing the nut she craved.

“Fuck yea, this what I wanted.” I moaned against her pussy smackin’ her ass before getting back to business.

Starr’s POV

The feral growl that fell from Roman’s lips as I rode his face sent chills down my spine. His beard, mouth and tongue all together were kryptonite.

His dick standing at attention, glistening with precum and begging to be sucked wasn’t helping my thoughts either. It was too tempting; I needed to taste him.

Moaning, I leaned down licking the sensitive mushroom shaped head as Roman hissed tearing his mouth away from my pussy.

“Gon’ put it in your mouth, Starr. Don’t be scared, suckdat dick.” His words making my body tingle in excitement as he continued his assault on my pussy with his masterful tongue.

I wanted to see how much of him I could take in my mouth and with each strategic bobbly of my head, I took him deeper as Roman nearly bucked me off his face…

Got’em….I may be a virgin, but I got some secrets myself.

 “Fuck, that’s how you get down?” he groaned momentarily stopping his assault.

 “Mmhm, surprise,” I whispered after coming up for air briefly before getting back to the task at hand as he growled, “Fuck," before diving back in himself as our moans filling the air.

Suddenly I began to feel that familiar coil gathering in my stomach, my body tingling all over. Releasing his dick from my mouth, I sat up and began riding his face with a purpose.

“Yea, take whatchu want from me, sweetness,” he moaned gripping my hips, moving me faster as my legs began to shake reducing me to a chanting mess..

“Oouu, Roman- Yesyesyes,” I moaned stroking him faster in sync with my hips.  His beard, mouth and tongue had me on demon time and he knew it.

 “Give it to me,” Roman growled as I came undone. “Roman! Fuck..f-f-fuck here it comes,” I cried at my body exploded coating his face with my juices as he happily and greedily drank. 

“Mmhm, I love that shit, tastin’ so fuckin’ sweet…. Sweetness gon’ be your new nickname, baby girl.” I heard him whisper between slurps as I indeed had cum harder than I ever had before, still continuing to stroke him riding out my high.

I was euphorically drunk on him, but I wanted him to feel just as good as he had made me feel. Catching my breath, I leaned down taking him once again in my mouth.

“Fuck, I don’t wanna cum yet,” Roman groaned as I turned, kneeling between his legs.

Oh sir, you put that mouth on me like that…You about to get this nut…..Period.

Steadying my hands on his welcoming thighs as I tended to the task at hand,innocently staring up at him. “Yea….Take it all for me..Fuck that feels so good. You’re such a good girl.”

Humming in agreement, I refused to stop sucking him tortuously slowly and deeply as he gripped my hair.

“Suck dat shit, girl…..Damn.” Roman groaned bending his knees, planting his heels, accepting his fate.

“Fuck, here it cum, just for you, sweetness,” he growled cummin' hard.

 I almost came myself watching him. As long as I live, I will remember the look on his face. Cracking a small smile, I opened my mouth for him to see his cum coating my tongue as he bit his lower lip.

“Mmm, does my sweetness spits or swallows?” Roman asked, his deep voice making my pussy drip as he caressed my face, desperate to know my answer to his question. 

“Who says I can’t do both,” I whispered, letting his cum spill from my lips onto his dick as it jumped in response.

“Mmm, my good girl," he whispered watching through hooded eyes.

“Oops I made a mess…..Let me clean up behind myself,” I mumbled once again taking him in my mouth greedily sopping his cum back into my mouth and swallowing it.

“Fuck!” He moaned, his resolve crumbling in a heap. “I’mma fuck da shit outta you,” he professed taking me in a searing kiss that left me breathless and on my back at the foot of the bed before I could blink.

My senses on overloaded as his hands roamed my body “Please, Roman, I need you so bad,” I pleaded as we both looked down at our bodies about to become one as he slipped past my wet folds.

“You sure baby,” he whispered as I nodded pulling him closer. Both of us lost in the moment as he slowly rocked his hips. Suddenly feeling pop and burst of pain.

“UMPH!” I cried, clinging to Roman as he looked at me with indescribable passion in his eyes as we shared a tender kiss.

“Look at my good girl learning how to take my big dick. You doin’ so fuckin’ good,” he moaned grasping my thighs continuing to slowly slip inside deeper inside me.

“Roman, I-I,” I whined, overwhelmed as he caressed my face. His body trembling against mine as he’s fighting an internal battle within himself to take it slow and not lose all control.

 “Mmm, I know it…I know it baby.. God, thank you so much for choosing me,” he whispered showering me with kisses as I relaxed against him.

“I wanted you to be my first,” I gasped, starting to somewhat relax in spite of the pain. “Yea, that’s it, relax beautiful….Your Ro Ro's gotchu,” he whispered, filling me more and more with each thrust of his hips as I tried to breathe through the pain.

“Ro! It’s too much,” I cried pushing at his stomach as he went deeper kissing away my tears. “I know it seems that way baby, but I’m almost in. I promise it’s gon’ feel so good, move your hands.”

“Ro-”

“You trust me?” he asked gently kissing my forhead as I nodded “Then mov’em for me.”

I complied and with a snap of his hips, he bottomed out as I clawed at his back. “Roman! I feel so full, I – I can’t,” I gasps as Roman captured my lips in a passionate kiss.

“Yes, you can..Breathe….Just breathe sweetness,” he whispered against my lips surging forward, my pain suddenly becoming something more with each powerful thrust….

 “Roman, faster,” I pleaded wrapping my legs around him. “Yea…..There she go, there’s my good girl,” he moaned as my hips moved against him. “You feel so good,” I cried as Roman buried his head in the crook of my neck.

“Fuck, I can’t wait to cum inside you, you feel so good… You gon’ let me cum inside you, baby?”

“Bear, please-”

“Answer me, Starr?” he groaned, even more turned on as my other pet name for him escaped my lips.

"God, yes!"

 “Uh huh, you gon’ let your bear fill you up, I promise it’ll feel so good,” he rasped marking my neck as I clawed at his lower back and nipping at his shoulder as he properly dicked me down.

“Fuck I want to cum inside you so bad..Tell me I can again," he moaned angling his hips taking me by surprise.

“Yes, I want you to cum inside me,” I screamed, the new position and thrusts sending chills down my spine, making my toes curl.  Lifting one of my legs in the air with a firm grip on my heel Roman continued to rearrange my insides, lifting his head slightly to watch me.

Roman’s POV

“You’re such a good girl, Starr… Savin’ this good ass pussy just for me, and you gon’ let me cum inside her. Just my good girl, ain’t you?”

“Mmhm, only your good girl,” she moaned, her words filling my heart with relief and love.

“Only my good girl…..Damn, I love how dat pussy creamin’ listen to that shit, she just purrin’ ready to squirt for me again.”

The squelching sounds, as I claimed her, along with our bodies colliding, filled the room. A blush suddenly crept onto Starr’s face as she listened and tried to bury her face in my neck as I praised her.

“I been waitin’ for this Starr…Let me see you, beautiful,” I moaned willing her eyes to mine as I bit my lip in anticipation and appreciation. Fuck, she looked and felt so good, I want to keep her this way forever. Up under me begging me to make dat pretty pussy cum again and again… Merry Christmas to me, indeed.

Fuck, why we waited so long to do this. And the fact that I am the first man to ever be be inside her makes my dick get even harder and I didn’t think that was possible.

She just doesn’t know what she’s done, we’re tied together forever now.

Starr’s POV

“I’m ruinin’ you for any man thinking he can have you cause’ he can’t.” Roman growled as our lips met in a sloppy kiss as our tongues battled for dominance with me finally surrendering in the end to his power.

“Dat pussy jus pulsin’ for me and suckin’ my dick back in, get it baby. Get dat nut...Sweet ass pussy, just coatin’ my dick,” he moaned, as I began to lose my grip on reality.

 His words, his nasty words making me wetter as I writhed under him searching for my next release. “I know what you need…My sweet Starr needs to cum, don’t she?”

“Yes, I need it, Roman,” I begged as he bit his lower lip. His hair framing his beautiful face, looking like a real-life romance novel cover coming to life as he continued his delicious torture as I pulsed around him, helpless as he continuously brought me to the edge to only to pull back.

“Please let me cum,” I whined as his other hand went under my arm gripping my shoulder trapping me as he began to thrust harder and faster.

 “You ready baby?”

“Yes!.... I-I’m close!”

“I gotchu, just let it go, baby,” he encouraged in my ear releasing my leg and moving his hand between my thighs, stroking my sensitive throbbing clit, as his lips swallowed my cries of passion.

 Feeling bold, I reached down and placed my hand on top of his moving his fingers faster against my clit as he growled feeling the spasms taking over my body.

 We couldn’t stop; it was too hypnotizing as we both looked down watching his dick sink deeper and deeper inside me. “Cum for me, let it out Starr. Stop fighting it.”

“Mmh, here it comes…. Just for you,” I gasped beginning to squirt.

“Fuck yea..Squirt for bear,” Roman moaned pulling out, slapping his dick on my pussy before thrusting back in, taking me hard, fast and deep.

“Shit! I- I-” I cried out losing my train of thought gripping his ass, totally fucked out as I came undone again for him.

“Oh, fuck yea, give me it all…. Fuck, here it cum, just for you,” He groaned cummin’ in a violent rush, grinding his hips into mine, bowing his back prolonging our euphoria before collapsing beside me.

His breathing ragged as I my body continued to spasm in the aftermath.

“Fuck, you are dangerous, Starr,” Roman chuckled as I looked at him like he was crazy.

“No, your ass is dangerous,” I whispered blushing as we shared a gentle kiss, trying to come back down to earth.

“Thank you for tonight.” I whispered against his lips as he shook his head.

“No, thank you for choosing me.” And in that moment no other words were spoken i as we just wrapped ourselves up in each other and were just were us.

A little while later, Roman ran a bath and helped me clean-up, which I have to say was the most erotic thing I had ever experienced.  He washed me from head to toe, taking his time kissing and caressing my body.

This didn’t seem or feel like a one-time thing, but I was scared to ask, and I didn’t want to make it weird.

 “You know I could have done this myself?” I whispered enjoying soaking in the warm water as he kissed my neck. “Not when you’re with me you won’t,” he said as I smiled. “Are you sore?”

“A little but the warm water is helping,” I said reassuring him I was ok. His alarm going off made us both sigh. “Santa duties are calling mister Reigns. You know if Uncle Roman doesn' have that barbie dream house  put together and waiting in front of the tree for Harmony it’s gonna be hell to pay.”

Every year, Roman goes over to his sister’s after the kids fall asleep to help put out their gifts and put their toys together. It's a tradition for them every Christmas and birthday.

“I know, but I hate to leave. I don’t want it to seem-”

“Roman, it’s ok I’m fine, I’ll see you later on today.” I wanted him to stay but I knew he needed to go. After sharing a gentle kiss, he stood up to leave.

“You sure you good,” he asked, stopping by the door.

“I’m good Roman, give Savannah and the kids my love.”

He seemed so torn about leaving, so I gave him a small smile. “Merry Christmas, bear,” I whispered as he smirked. It was almost as if he was remembering what had transpired tonight.

“Merry Christmas, Sweetness.”

“Roman!” I blushed as he shrugged his shoulders. “I told you that was gon’ be your new nickname from now on and I meant it.

“Don’t say it around people,” I hissed as he smiled. “Why not, only you and me will know what it means?”

“I know you…You’re gonna say it in a flirty way and Jey's gonna figure it out and run it in the ground.”

“So, what-”

“Roman!”

“Fine, I’ll try but I ain’t making no promises but seriously thank you for my Christmas present, sweetness.

“You’re welcome and thank you for um...”

“You don’t have to say anything baby girl…Just know this ain’t over between us, cause’ I’ll have you know; you were the best I’ve ever had, and I don’t plan on letting you go.” And with a deep groan, he left the room before I could respond.

“Well i guess there is my answer……Merry Christmas indeed Mr. Reigns, because I’m not letting you go either.”

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[brooke2valley]

I'm not trying to make light of being homeless, but I'd be lying if I acted like I wasn't sorta happy for the chance.

Another, 3 girls in my head comic.

Reminder-

Dark blue jacket girl's name is "Ina" like inhibition.

Green dress girl's name is "Amber" like Ambitious.

And the gray shirt girl's name is "Anne" like Anxiety.

I love systems, plurals, and D.I.D systems, but I am not any of these identities, I'm simply personifying general emotions and naming them based on a major aspect I feel especially regarding my own transition.

[freeabortionslol]

don't marry him (quinn hughes x bsf!reader) ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

summary: angst, quinn talks reader out of engagement, unrequited love (kinda), reader is a lawyer, lots of flashbacks, italics mean flashbacks, not a single y/n used (yay!) warnings!! anxiety, panic attacks, cursing, intense argument a/n: okay so I rly didn't know what to do with this bc it honestly felt wrong to have him confess his feelings in this moment LMAO so I think I'm def gonna do a pt 2. anyways this was the fic from my drafts that the people voted for so here it is!! hope u enjoy :)

wc: 4.1k

“You lost.” Quinn said, staring out at the Lake, not making eye contact with you.

“What?” You asked, twirling your flashy engagement ring around your finger. 

Max had come into your life at a time when everything felt uncertain. You were fresh off a series of career setbacks, questioning your worth and your ability to build the future you had always dreamed of. He was steady, charismatic, and above all, ambitious. Qualities you admired and felt you needed to anchor yourself. He made you feel secure in a world that often felt chaotic.

Quinn sighed, turning to face you slightly. “At life. You lost.” He mumbled out, taking a sip of his beer before turning back to the lake. Your face quickly softened with a hint of sadness.

“I-I didn’t lose. I’m happy and successful.” You said, your tone coming off with a hint of anger. 

You and Max met at a work conference, one of those overly formal events where you spent half the time pretending to be interested in panel discussions and the other half networking. Max had approached you during a coffee break, his easy confidence setting him apart from the crowd. His suit was perfectly tailored, his smile sharp but not unkind.

Quinn took one look at you, shifting in his seat slightly. “Y-You…you don’t want this.” Your heart thumped slightly, cracking your knuckles to drown out the sounds of your own thoughts. “I’m scared for you.” 

Max’s love came with conditions. He valued success above all else, and he expected you to do the same. Work always came first, even if it meant skipping family events or cutting vacations short for a meeting. He didn’t understand why you needed to spend time with Quinn, Luke, and Jack.

“Quinn, I love him. You know that.” Your brows furrowed in an attempt to make him understand. 

The engagement came as a surprise, even to you. It was during a charity gala, one of those glittering events Max thrived in. He had pulled you onto the stage during his speech, getting down on one knee in front of hundreds of people. The ring sparkled under the chandeliers, and the applause was deafening. You had said yes because saying no didn’t feel like an option. Not with Max’s expectant smile, the cameras flashing, and the weight of the moment pressing down on you.

“But do you like him?” His words sent a shiver down your spine as you continued to fidget with the ring on your finger. The ring that was far too heavy to be wearing constantly, its band made of gold instead of your preferred silver. His words hung in the air, the weight of them sinking in your chest like a stone tossed in the still waters of the lake. His gaze remained fixed ahead, unwavering.

Max wasn’t a bad man. He wasn’t cruel or unkind. But he didn’t see you, not the way Quinn did. He saw your potential, your ambition, but not the person you were when all the noise fell away.

“I-I…I don’t- of course I like him. What are you getting at?” You stuttered, confused about your own feelings on the matter. Quinn glanced at you with a side eye, taking another swig from his bottle before speaking.

“Really?” He asked, his heart shattering at the sight of tears welling in your eyes. “I see the face you make when he talks. It’s blank, unreadable. And when he laughs? Your eyes scrunch up like when we would drag you out of bed to get on the boat.” Quinn lets out an uncomfortable chuckle. “You really want to wake up next to his mustache every morning for the rest of your life?” You roll your eyes, posture slumping.

“Don’t make fun of him.” You warned, your voice becoming stern. Quinn bites the inside of his mouth before turning away. “I’m successful, Quinn.”

“Yeah-yeah, that’s great. You have all the fuckin’ money you could’ve wished for.” He huffs out with a sarcastic smile.

“Don’t do that. Don’t make me sound materialistic-” You crossed your arms, Quinn cutting you off quickly.

“Well it’s kind of hard when all you do is work and work-” His voice raises significantly.

“This is my dream! If you can’t accept the fact that i’m happy-”

“Yeah! And you’re so damn caught up in it that you don’t have time for us anymore!” He yells, sending you a look of anger. One you’d never seen before. He breathes heavily, trying to calm himself down as he moves to the edge of his seat. His eyes soften when he catches your expression, scared. He sighs reluctantly before he speaks again. “Luke notices the way you brush him off when Max is around. He notices how you never fly out to Jersey to see him and Jack like you used to.” Your breath hitched as Quinn’s words pierced through the air. His voice had calmed, but the raw emotion in his eyes cut deeper than his raised tone ever could. You looked away, not able to face the weight of his gaze, and stared at the rippling water instead. The golden light of the setting sun shimmered on the surface, mimicking the perfection you thought you’d built. 

“Luke said that?” You whispered, your voice barely audible. A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down, refusing to let it show. You didn’t want this, not here, not ever. 

“Yeah.” He replied softly. “Jack see’s it too. They miss you.” Quinn turned his head to face you, your gaze still not meeting his. “I miss you.” You turned to glance at him, tears bubbling as you brushed a strand of hair from your face. You continued playing with your ring, biting your lip to hold the cries. 

You sniffled, wiping your nose with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. “This is my life. I won.” You croaked out. Quinn sighed, leaning back in his seat as he swirled the beer bottle in his hand.

“When we were kids, my Aunt Julia came over to visit us during christmas. Do you remember that?” He asked quietly, catching you off guard in a moment of vulnerability. You nodded your head, continuing to bite your lip. “She asked all of us- Me, you, Jack, and Luke ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’” Your eyes softened quickly, bringing your knees to your chest. “Do you remember what you said?” He asked, his tone empathetic.

“Yeah, a lawyer-”

“A mother.” He interrupted. The words hit you like a punch to the chest, knocking the air from your lungs. You froze, staring at Quinn as the memories hit like a tidal wave.

“I…I don’t remember that.” Your voice barely above a whisper.

Quinn gave you a sad smile, his eyes softening. “You do. You just don’t want to.” He brought the bottle to his mouth, looking out at the lake again. The two of you sat in the thick silence. Quinn, knowing he was winning this conversation and you, overthinking every little moment from the past two years. Tears began to escape your eyes as you stared out at the lake, refusing to look at Quinn. He turned to you, seeing how hard this conversation was for you. He wanted to pull you into him, let you cry into his shoulder until all the pain went away, but that wasn’t his job anymore. It was Max’s. The pain burned deep into Quinn’s chest as he recalled every memory he shared with you at this house. Jumping off the boat together on hot summer days, neighborhood barbecues where you would wear those short little sundresses he liked so much, your first kiss while playing spin the bottle together, and of course every deep conversation you shared on this back deck, in these exact chairs. When he was thirteen, he was sure of the fact that he would marry you. He never expected to be sitting here, watching you fiddle with an engagement ring that he didn’t buy. 

You blinked, wiping the tears from your face as you decided to face your fear of confrontation. “I-If I don’t work hard now, I won’t have anything left when I'm old and burnt out.” Quinn’s jaw clenched as he processed your words, his gaze fixed on the lake but his mind clearly elsewhere. He tilted his head back slightly, exhaling through his nose like he was trying to suppress his frustration. Your lip trembled, more tears falling by the second as you looked away. 

“H-He um-” You paused, taking a long sigh as you looked over at Quinn. “He says there’s no time for children in our career.” Quinn whipped his head over to you, his expression softening as he got lost in your words. 

“He’s a piece of shit.” Quinn mumbled, shaking his head as he returned his gaze to the lake. 

You licked your lips as you rolled your eyes. “He’s not a piece of shit, okay? He’s a good guy, you just don’t know him.” You said, your tone growing in frustration. Quinn looked over to you, mouth open, brows furrowed as if you’d just said the most unbelievable thing. 

He huffed out a small laugh before returning his eyes to the bottle in his hand. “You’re fuckin’ delusional.” He let out quietly, taking another sip. You whipped your head to him, your frustration quickly bubbling over. 

“Excuse me-”

Quinn was quick to interrupt you, his voice raised slightly. “You heard me. You’re fucking delusional if you think that’s love.” He rolled his eyes, looking back at you. 

You scoffed, licking your bottom row of teeth as you let out an uncomfortable laugh. “You’re an asshole, you know that?” Your expression had become serious, your tears stopping in their tracks. “This is love!” Your voice carefully rose in volume. “I fell in love,” You laughed slightly, letting a slight smile escape your lips out of frustration. “You’re just jealous.” 

Quinn’s face turned bright red as he took in your words. He looked down at his lap, then back to you. He bit the inside of his cheek, letting out an uncomfortable chuckle before speaking. “Jealous?” He asked, brows furrowed. “My god, you're so full of yourself sometimes.” He didn’t mean that and he knew, but you didn’t. You bit your lip, trying to hold back tears as your best friend tore you apart. “You seriously think i’m jealous of him?” He asked, his voice just below a yell.

“No, of me!” Quinn froze, his beer bottle mid air as the words echoed between the two of you. “You’re jealous because I found love and-”

Quinn slammed the bottle on the wooden deck, the sharp sound making you flinch. “Don’t.” He snapped, his voice shaking with anger. “Don’t twist this into me being the bad guy for giving a shit about you.” 

“You don’t give a shit!” You shot back, standing up as your emotions boiled over. “You just can't stand the fact that i’m not following you around like a fucking puppy anymore!” Quinn stood too, his frame towering over you, but his expression wasn’t filled with intimidation. It was filled with raw, unfiltered pain. 

June 23rd, 2012

Dear diary, today was pretty good. In the morning, Jack and Luke jumped on my bed to wake me up which sucked, but when are they not annoying? Anyways, they dragged me down to the lake for a boat day. We went with their dad and their brother Quinn (my future husband). Jack and Luke were doing this wakeboard surfing thingy so I decided to stay close to Quinn. He’s just sooo perfect. His hair is amazing and he smells so good. I wanna be his girlfriend like literally so bad but I can’t tell if he likes me or not. He held my hand when we jumped in the water which was literally the best thing that has EVER happened to me. Anyways, that was the most important thing that happened today.

“What are you reading? You don’t read.” Jack’s piercing voice pulled Quinn straight from focus. He quickly turned around, shutting the book immediately.

“Nothing uh- just something for school.” He stammered out. Jack furrowed his brows, crossing his arms. 

“It’s summer.”

“Yeah, summer reading.” Only it wasn’t summer reading. It was your diary, something personal and private. Quinn was only reading it to find out where you hid the hockey puck you stole, but he stumbled upon a catalog of entries about himself. Do you expect a thirteen year old boy to not read it? 

“Okay well, dinner’s in five minutes.” Jack said before spinning on his heel to exit the room. You liked Quinn, like really liked him and now he knows it.

“You need to think about what you just said.” Quinn said, his voice low. “Think about that and then compare it to every time I talked you through your panic attacks, or every time I picked you up at three in the morning when we were sixteen because you were too drunk to drive home, or every time I offered you a place to stay when your parents were fighting. Then, you can tell me if you think I give a shit or not.” He stared you down, his eyes becoming tense as your bottom lip began to tremble. 

“I didn’t-”

Quinn huffed out his breath, interrupting your speech. “Do you know how hard it’s been to watch you? To see you become someone I don’t even recognize anymore?” His voice became stern, raising in volume. “You don’t smile the same way anymore. You don’t laugh like you used to!” Your breath hitched, the weight of his words suffocating. You looked down at the ring on your finger, the glittering diamond that once felt like a prize but now felt more like a shackle. “You think I don’t care?” His voice was quiet, but the pain in his voice was unmistakable. “I’ve always cared. A-And seeing you like this, wearing that ring, in this life that’s clearly eating you alive? It kills me.” 

You licked your bottom lip, tears spilling down your face as you looked up at him. You swallowed the lump in your throat, letting out a shaky breath as you gathered your thoughts.

“Hey, babe. You almost ready?” You heard Max’s voice shout from the living room as you finished putting your earrings on. 

“Yeah, just a second!” You yelled back, fluffing your freshly blown out hair in the mirror. You took a deep breath as you looked yourself up and down in the dark green bodycon dress that Quinn had gotten you for your 21st birthday. You’d never put it on, but you assumed it was fitting for a work Christmas party. Was it too much? You thought to yourself as you ran your hands down the sides, seeing that the length was about an inch above your fingertips. You decided it was fine and made your way out of the bedroom, purse in hand as you walked to the living room. Max sat on the couch in his tailored Prada suit, a bit pretentious to wear to a work party. His legs were spread wide as he had one hand on his phone, and the other on the back of the couch. He looked up from the screen to glance at you in your dress. You gave him a soft smile, your shoulders tensing up as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

“It’s a bit short, don’t you think?” He asked as he ran a hand through his blonde hair. You looked down at your dress, then back up at him. 

“W-Well, I was thinking that a little. Should I change?” Your voice was shaky, filled with nerves at Max’s disapproval. 

He shook his head, standing from the couch with his hands in his pockets as he made his way to the door. “No, no. We're already gonna be late with how long you took to get ready.”

There were little moments like that that clouded your mind as you stood in front of Quinn. Your breathing was shaky, your face now fully engulfed in hot tears as he stared into your eyes. “You don’t get it.” You let out, your voice just barely above a whisper. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to find stability. To feel…safe.” Your voice cracked on the last word, and you swallowed hard, trying to steady yourself. 

“Safe?” Quinn repeated, his eyes locking with yours. “Is that what this is? Because it doesn’t look like it. You’re not safe. You’re trapped.” He gestured to the ring on your finger, his voice lowering at the depressed sight of you. Your lips parted, but no sound came out. You stared at him, your chest tightening as his words dug into the thoughts you’d been trying so hard to suppress. Quinn softened, stepping closer. “You deserve more than this.” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “And I think, deep down you know that.”

You bit your lip, sniffling your nose before wiping your tears with your sleeve. “I’m in too deep. I can’t get out.” You whispered, finally bringing yourself to the point to admit it. You weren’t happy, you knew that, but you couldn’t tell anyone. Well, you thought you couldn��t until Quinn finally pushed you to the point where there wasn’t another option. 

Quinn let out a sigh mixed with exhaustion and a hint of relief. He sent you an empathetic smile as he absentmindedly grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb against the back of it. “You can.” He said, his voice quiet. “You’re not alone. I’m here…if you need help. I’m always gonna be here.” Your breath caught in your throat as Quinn’s hand enveloped yours, his warmth cutting through the icy wall you’d built around yourself. His touch was steady, grounding, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a flicker of hope. His words echoed in your head, soft and firm. You stared down at his hand, the calluses on his fingers brushing lightly against your skin as his thumb moved in slow, soothing circles. It felt so familiar, so safe, and the contrast to Max’s cold indifference hit you like a wave. You couldn’t help but let all the emotions running like a swarm through your head push you to the point of breakage. You began to sob, your eyes still looking at your hands intertwined as your breath came out in short, stammered increments. Quinn didn’t waste any time before pulling you into his chest, allowing your sobs to escape into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around your body. He held you tightly, his arms wrapping around you like a shield against everything that had been weighing you down. His chin rested on top of your head as your tears soaked into his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. His hand rubbed slow circles on your back, grounding you in a way you hadn’t felt in ages. 

“It’s okay,” He murmured softly into your hair. “I’ve got you.” You clung to him, your fists gripping the fabric of his shirt as if letting go would mean losing the only thing tethering you to solid ground. 

The room began to shrink in an instant, reading the text from your mother. “It’s final. Dad and I are separating. You and I are moving to Gran and Pop’s when you get back from the lake house, so I need you to pack up everything.” 

The tears came almost immediately, but that didn’t scare you. It was the feeling you got in your chest, like your heart was radiating pulses all over your body. Pounding over and over again, like the beating was the only thing you could hear. The sound of Quinn shooting pucks only made it worse, like each shot was another banging ache to your head. You tried to slow your breathing, but it felt like the most difficult challenge at that moment. Your breaths were short and hitched, gasping for air at any chance you got. Your hands shook as your phone fell out of them. You were terrified, you didn’t know what was happening. You couldn’t die, you were only sixteen. You still had so much to do in life. You tilted your head up, staring at the ceiling light, but that only made it worse. Quinn noticed when you didn’t say anything about the shot he’d just missed, immediately dropping his stick to run over to you.

“Hey, Hey. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He said frantically as he leaned down to where you were sitting on the floor. You tried to tell him, tried to speak, but your head was stuck looking up, and you felt like you couldn’t move it. Quinn placed his hand on the back of your neck, pulling your head down to face him. Your face was covered in tears, completely red as your mouth parted slightly. “Talk to me.” He said gently. “Please?”

You licked your quivering lips, trying your hardest to breathe. “I-I…I c-can’t. I can’t b-breathe.” His heart dropped at your words, the panic in your voice cutting through him like a knife. His hands moved to gently cradle your face, his thumbs brushing away your tears even as more fell. 

“Okay, okay,” He said softly, his own voice trembling but steadying for your sake. “You’re having a panic attack. You’re not dying, I promise.” You gasped again, your breaths shallow and uneven, your chest tightening with each attempt. “Look at me.” He instructed. “Breathe with me. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” He blew out softly, his eyes locked on yours as he repeated the motion.

You tried to mimic him, but your breath was quickly caught in your throat, sending you a fresh wave of panic. “I c-can’t Quinn, I can’t!” You cried.

“Yes, you can.” He reassured, his hands never leaving your face. “I’ve got you. I’m right here. Just take it slow.” You managed a small, shaky inhale, your body trembling as you followed his lead. “There you go.” He said, his voice laced with a small flicker of relief. “Now, out through your mouth.” Quinn stayed with you, guiding you through each breath as the pounding of the room began to dull. Finally, your breaths came easier, the crushing weight on your chest lifting little by little. You looked at Quinn, your face still wet with tears.

“Thank you.” You whispered, your voice hoarse.

His thumbs still traced circles on your cheeks as he sent you a soft smile. “I’ve got you. You’re not alone.”

You stayed, sobbing into Quinn’s shirt as his grip around you tightened. He listened to your breathing patterns, looking out for a sign of a panic attack. He’d memorized you at this point. He knew the exact time to jump in, and he knew how to calm you down. 

“Quinn, I’m so scared.” You cried out, wrapping your arms around him to pull him closer. 

Quinn moved his hand from your back to your head, running his fingers through your hair. “I know.” He whispered. “I’m sorry.” He leaned back just enough to gently tilt your chin up with his fingers, his blue eyes meeting yours. They were soft, but filled with an intensity that made your heart ache. “You thought you had to want this.” He said, speaking the words you never had the confidence to say. “Doesn’t mean it’s right. It doesn’t mean it’s what you deserve.” You looked up at him, not seeing Quinn Hughes, captain of the Canucks, but your childhood best friend, Quinny, who talked you through every panic attack, walked you home from every party, and gave you a bed through every fight between your parents. That’s what you deserved. Someone willing to give you that much dedication, not some pretentious lawyer who only loves you for your accomplishments. In a moment of determination, after wiping your tears, you dramatically pulled off your engagement ring, slamming it on the railing of the deck. The sound of the ring hitting the wooden railing echoed in the stillness of the night, sharp and final. Quinn’s eyes darted to it, then back to you, his lips parting in surprise. You stood there trembling, not from fear but from the sheer weight of the decision you’d just made. Your chest heaved as the tears continued to fall. This time they weren’t from sadness, they were from release. Quinn hesitated for only a moment before stepping closer, his hand hovering over yours as if to silently ask for permission. When you didn’t pull away, he took your trembling hand in his, holding it like it was the most fragile thing in the world.

“You-” He started, his voice breaking slightly before he cleared his throat. “You did it.”

“I did it.” You whispered, almost in disbelief yourself. You stared at the ring, gleaming under the soft glow of the porch light. It had once symbolized everything you wanted, but now it felt like a chain you’d finally broken free from. 

[pickingupmymercedes]

Hi! I love your account. Sm. Like a lot. Would you be interested in writing something for lewis where he casually mentions in his gq interview that he has a longtime gf or wife. Or he recalls a memory of them introducing roscoe to her dog or cat?

Thank you so so much for the ask bestie! I drabbled something short, hope you like it ❤️.

PS: I'm still not over that interview btw, he's such a complex person and I'm so glad he's letting us see this side to him (a LVFH type of thing is something only someone like him could pull it off)

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Lewis Hamilton’s drive to continually innovate and push the boundaries of his sport stems from a dual motivation. Firstly, he is determined to challenge and break the often conservative and traditional norms of Formula 1. Secondly, he is laying the groundwork for the latter part of his own illustrious career.

“I went through this phase of understanding that I can’t race forever,” he says, prompting him to cultivate those other passions. “Because when I stop, I’m gonna drop the mic and be happy.” “The difficult thing is I want to do everything,” he says, laughing. “I’m very ambitious. But I understand that you can’t do—actually, I take that back because I don’t believe in the word can’t. To be a master at something, there’s the 10,000 hours it takes. Obviously, I’ve done that in racing. There’s not enough time to master all of these different things.”

As our conversation progresses, Hamilton discloses that he has a kindred spirit who shares his compulsion to explore a myriad of interests. “I’m fortunate to have someone in my life who encourages me to embrace my spontaneous ideas and give them a shot. She might even be more adventurous than I am,” he chuckles. “She’s a bit of a jack-of-all-trades, and always so sure that you can dive into anything and learn as you go.” His eyes light up with admiration and affection as he speaks of her daring spirit.

The usually private Hamilton, who has been discreet about his long-term relationship, contrasts their differing approaches to life. “I need some more time to think things and really plan out how I want them to go. But she’s a jump now, ask later, so she’s most times hyping me to just try it. We balance each other. Sometimes I’m the strategist, and sometimes she’s the one taking the first bite.”

As for his future plans, apart from his endeavors in fashion and film, Hamilton prefers not to rush into anything. “She still has dreams she wants to pursue, so for now, I’m happy to be her supportive sidekick whenever I can. Perhaps in the future, when we both have more time our own family might be on the horizon, but not while I’m still racing.”

He quickly corrects himself though, referring to his bulldog, Roscoe, as his son, and introduces the adorable dachshund who frequently graces Roscoe’s Instagram posts. “My partner’s parents gifted her the little sausage dog a few years ago. Introducing them was a bit tricky as Tete is quite territorial. She wasn’t fond of me at first either, so Roscoe has a head start in winning her over. But now, Baguette gets along with everyone, and we can’t imagine our lives without her.”

Eager for more personal insights, I probe for updates on his personal life. However, when his response to my inquiry is, “Time will tell, when things happen we’ll make sure to update everyone when it feels right” I gracefully pivot to our next topic of discussion.