#I'm also an alcoholism holder so that might have something to do with it.

[petrichorvoices]

So we have multiple addictions, yeah? Right now we're in cannabis withdrawal, and we don't have any access to weed, and the withdrawal is kicking our ass. And for some fucking reason, our bodymind decided that if it can't have weed, then it wants alcohol, desperately. So now I'm having strong alcohol cravings despite not having had any in months.

[sharkyisashark]

Could you maybe do some ab Jinx Vi Caitlin Isha and Warrick in the cult and have them be happy and funny and like the characters? Also some ab Vi Jinx and Caitlin being in the real world?

Heyy! In the mood today for writing so I thought I might as well :) I'm not very educated on cults though, nor do I know how I would even write that :( But! I thought since there are two ideas here I'd do some more real world stuff for ya <3 Includes: Vi, Jinx, and Caitlyn & mention of Isha + Arcane S2 spoilers! Edit: I just realised the cult as in the one in arcane 😭 If I get the motivation I'll write some of that <3

"Vi? You almost done in there?" Jinx whines, knocking impatiently at the bathroom door. The door creaks open, and Vi's clouded blue eyes met Jinx's... her usually red hair, now covered in black hair dye, drips of it running down Vi's forehead. Jinx snorted, "You look like a wet cat." She remarked, to which Vi just scoffed, then stepped aside, letting Jinx grab her toothbrush. "You got another pit fight tonight?" Jinx inquires, popping the toothbrush into her mouth and scrubbing at her teeth. Vi sighs, not bothering the way the overly diluted hair-dye transferred onto her shirt. "Yeah, I do actually. Last one for the month." "Then you're stuck with me and your girlfriend for what..? Three months?" "..Mhm." "Sick," Jinx smirked, placing her toothbrush back into it's holder and sitting herself onto the sink. She looked down at the small bowl of black hair dye, having died Isha's hair's hair in the past, she was well aware Vi had done it wrong. "You do know you don't have to put water with this stuff right?" Jinx points to the bowl before picking it up, looking up at Vi, who was across the bathroom, doing something on her phone. "You're going to look like an ugly grey," Quickly, Vi's gaze was back on Jinx, and within moments Vi was sat on a stool, Jinx leaning over her, re-applying a new mix of dye. Tongue poked out the side of her mouth as she made sure she did a good job, before pulling back and placing the left over dye to the side, hands on her hips, proud of her work. "Better now..?" Vi asked, half-hearted irritation in her tone as she stood, inspecting Jinx's help.. which, wasn't actually half bad. A little patchy per say, maybe a little unnatural, but hey, nobody would notice from outside of the pit. Jinx just smiled knowingly, her long blue hair fallen over her shoulders as she made her way out of the bathroom. Eyes heavy and just about ready for bed. "Tell me how it went in the morning, yeah?" Jinx reminded, in which Vi just looked at Jinx through the mirror, rolling her eyes and nodding "Sure."

* * * "Vi..." Caitlyn breathed lowly, looking over Vi's form, covered in bloodied bandages... It was the usual for her partner, but it didn't make it any less hard to witness. Vi shrugged, sitting down beside Caitlyn. Shoulders slouched as she held out her arm for Caitlyn to re-bandage. Hissing at the sting of alcohol they were coated with. "I don't know why you do this to yourself," Caitlyn starts, using a small pin to secure one of the bandages in place; around Vi's shoulder. "I know, I know I just-" "No, you don't." Caitlyn frowned, looking down at Vi, whom was sitting across from her now. It was a thick atmosphere, Vi was well aware there was no need for her to do these pit fights anymore, especially not since they'd moved into a better city now... and yet- she just chased the pain...?' "I got a break now, for three months." Vi murmured, before chugging down a bottle of water. The first time she'd drunk since the afternoon. "Ah..? I thought once you entered a routine... you only got breaks on public holidays?" Caitlyn's brow crooked a little, folding her arms over her chest in slight suspicion. Her navy blue hair falling over her ears. "Usually.. yes, but- I dropped out of the schedule for a bit... thought I'd spend more time with you and Jinx..." Vi shrugged, a half smile tugged at her lips. "I sort of figured with us all.. here, now... we should go see the city together..?" Vi offered, gesturing to all the 'New York' signs outside the bar they were in. "Y'know and- maybe go looking for apartments with Jinx..? So she won't have to sleep on my couch and you can finally move in..?" "I'd.. like that." Caitlyn smiled, leaning back in her chair, taking a sip of her soda.

* * * ______________________________________________________________

The end <3 I hope I did okay, it was my first time writing for Vi and Caitlyn :) - shark 🦈

[regheart]

I’m on a smoke break on a very long day and thought I’d send it to some blogs I like, so tell me:

- Which hp character chain smokes?

- Who smokes in secret?

- Who started smoking just to look cooler and now can’t stop?

- Who hates smoking but does it to try to fit in?

- Who doesn’t smoke but could probably use a cigarette?

- Who should probably quit smoking?

🚬

anon, i'm afraid you asked the wrong person! my respiratory condition is so poor by default i don't even hang around smokers, but i will do my best to reply

i also go back and forth with wizards smoking muggle cigarettes, i like to think they'd have a magical version the same way they have magical alcohol, but for this i'm speaking about the regular ones (the magical version as i imagine would have magical herbs instead of or besides tobacco and the smoke comes out in funny colors and density)

Which hp character chain smokes?

aunt muriel, she has that old smoker voice and everything. her house permanently smells of tobacco and the tips of her fingertips are yellow-ish

Who smokes in secret?

i can see crouch sr hiding his smoking habits from the family in the first war

Who started smoking just to look cooler and now can’t stop?

might be an unpopular opinion, but madam rosmerta! she thought it would fit her image as a barkeeper and then it became a problem. it could also be rita skeeter, who now has a spending problem with those fancy holders and herbal flavors

Who hates smoking but does it to try to fit in?

remus was my first thought, assuming there was a lot of smoking in the gryffindor tower during the 70s, but i'm going with percy weasley the ministry employee during the second war (he picked it from crouch, who would've thought), he would do a lot of smoke breaks with his coworkers and while he hated the taste of it he didn't want to miss the conversation about work, but then with the war getting worse he'd an urge to smoke on his own, and then in the aftermath he started to pick a cigarette because he was idle and needed something to do with his hands and mouth

Who doesn’t smoke but could probably use a cigarette?

molly and hermione

Who should probably quit smoking?

george started after the war and it became disgusting and self destructive really fast, ron and lee are doing the best they can to help him quit, percy can't even carry cigarettes near him

[nothing-but-dreamy]

CARD KISSING CHALLENGE

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 2.364

Warnings: none; fluff; drinking of alcohol but not too much

A/N: I know... the 'first kiss topic' again. But I can't help myself. I'm such a sucker for that...

Summary: After a rough day, you and your friends are chilling at Yamachang's. All of you start a silly game with an interesting outcome between you and a certain greyish-haired Glaive with blue eyes.

"Sometimes, I could-", Libertus stopped himself, clenching his fists and letting the sentence unfinished while he slumped down on a chair at a table of Yamachang's food stand.

Yamachang watched him and the others. Crowe, Nyx and Pelna, all of them had the same sullen facial expression as they took place in their usual spots. Frowning, he watched the group of friends before his eyes landed on you, who was the last to join.

You stopped at the counter, leaning against it and crossing your arms, "We need five glasses and a bottle of the good stuff, please.", you said, exhausted and with an apologetic smile.

"Something's wrong?", Yamachang asked, looking concerned at the group who seemed to be in a worse mood than usual while preparing your order.

You sighed as you saw Libertus' glance. You pinched the bridge of your nose because you knew what would follow.

"Something's wrong? You really ask if something's wrong?", Libertus said agitated.

But you stopped him, "Calm down finally, will you? It's enough. Your outburst won't change anything.", you said before turning back to Yamachang, "Our Captain, he… well … let me say, he made some questionable choices. It's not as bad as Libertus acts-"

"Excuse me!", Libertus called out and jumped up from his chair.

But you just looked at the tall Ghaladian with a challenging glance, crossing your arms unimpressed about his raging expression.

"It's enough, Libertus. YN is right. Calm down. Drink something.", Nyx said and offered him one of the glasses you had placed on the table a few moments before.

Drinking and the delicious food of Yamachang were able to lift the spirits of the group again and one hour later, the friends were laughing and joking. The Captain's decisions about the new hierarchy within the Kingsglaive were pushed aside till the next week. Now was a well-earned weekend for all of them.

Once again, Nyx filled your empty glass before you touched your glasses with each other to drink the next shot with him.

The warming effect of the booze was already spreading through your body: you felt calmer, everything someone said seemed to be funny and most of the time, you were giggling like a teenager. You were even bumping into Nyx as Pelna told one of his jokes.

Nyx steadied you as you were almost falling from your chair from laughing. He chuckled about your light mood which made him calmer as well. No matter what you had endured in the past, you were still able to laugh, to smile and to be happy. And you were even able to infect the others with your vivid mood.

Once again, Nyx caught himself how his thoughts drifted into a direction he usually banned from his mind. Not because the thoughts were bad - rather quite the opposite.

When he saw you frisky like this, his heart made a little jump. All he ever wanted to see was your smile and your sparkling eyes when you were laughing. Eos became a better place, the world became more colorful and all the bad things seemed to disappear into some shadows when you were happy. At least, this was how Nyx felt when he was with you.

Sometimes, when he thought about you like this, he considered pushing his doubts aside. All the things like relationships between Glaives weren't liked to be seen, or that you maybe weren't interested in him in a romantic way.

He knew you liked him but was he more than just another friend like Libertus and Pelna? Maybe Nyx wasn't even your type of man but then, he never had seen you with someone else. As if dating was out of the question for you. Nyx tried to be close to you and then, when his courage left him, he retreated himself again, cursing that he couldn't speak his mind.

But in Nyx' eyes, the last thing you should be, was to be alone. He wanted to be the one you would go to to seek comfort. Nyx would lay the world to your feet if you would just give him a chance.

"Oh, guys! I have an idea!", Pelna called out, dragging Nyx out of his thoughts while he was jumping up from his chair. He went to Yamachang and came back with a pack of cards.

"No, oh, come on! Not this silly game.", you said annoyed but also grinning because of the effect of the alcohol.

You grinned while Pelna explained the simple rules to the others: The person with the card must suck gently on it to keep it on their lips. While sucking, the card holder must attempt to pass it to the next person.

The card had to be pressed against the lips of the person next to you while keeping sucking. Keeping the card in place until the next person makes contact with it. Then blow gently on the card to release it to the next person. If a card dropped a shot had to be drunk.

It was a stupid teenage game and normally you were sure that your friends wouldn't agree to play it but now, with the right level, all of them played along.

The first round went well. All of you made an effort to play it right. The positions of you all changed for the next round and then, quickly, instead of playing together, Pelna was the first who told a joke to get Libertus and Crowe struggling to let the card drop.

It wasn't working with them. But as Crowe and you were trying to carry the card next, Pelna tried it again and this time, it was working: Crowe chuckled, the card fell down and you and Crowe kissed softly before you two were laughing.

"Pelna! Was that necessary?", Crowe asked, still chuckling.

"No, but it's more fun this way.", the dark haired man said with a charming grin.

You played with the card in your hands, taking the shot to drown it before you turned over to Nyx with a grin, "Ready, hero?"

Nyx matched your smirk, he even felt excited because he would be the closest to you since ever, "Of course.", he answered confidently with a racing heart.

You turned over to him, sucking the card to your lips before Nyx came closer to take the card from you. It was then that you took a look into his perfect, blue eyes you liked so much.

Nyx was able to let your heart skip a beat but the signals he gave you were so ambiguous it was frustrating. On the one hand, you had noticed that Nyx tried to get closer to you and when you tried the same, he retreated himself again from you as if he wasn't sure anymore.

You steadied the card and while Nyx came closer, you prepared yourself to let the card drop. It would be the best opportunity to feel his full, plump lips just for once.

Nyx watched you. Pelna told one of his jokes again but he was barely able to listen to his friend. Your eyes were drawing, your face was so close, your scent clouded his mind and he got himself ready to let the card drop to have the best shot to kiss you.

As the card slipped from your mouth, you met Nyx' lips framed by the stubble he sported. A sensational feeling like fireworks spread through your veins. You knew you didn't have much time and so, you kissed him a bit stronger to show him what you felt for him.

Nyx noticed that this wasn't just an accident. He felt your lips getting stronger against his own. For a moment, his breath hitched in his throat. His mind went blank, goosebumps spread across his skin but before he could react, your lips had left him again.

Libertus, Pelna and Crowe were cheering for the both of you while you chuckled, handing Nyx a next shot. Both of you touched glasses to drown the liquid but Nyx kept you in sight all the time. You, your delicious lips and your enchanting eyes.

One hour and some shots later, you called it a night for yourself. As you stood up from your chair, you were slightly swaying followed by soft chuckling.

Nyx steadied you once again, standing up as well, "Be careful, YN.", he said gently, making a decision within one second, "Alright, I will accompany you to make sure that you'll arrive at home in one piece.", he said, chuckling as he watched you giggling.

You leant against Nyx' side, covering your mouth with your hand to hide the stupid grin, "Might be the best idea, hero."

Libertus looked after you and Nyx before he turned his head back to Pelna and Crowe, "You think one of them will make a try tonight? I mean, since when do they like each other? Months?"

Crowe took another drink, "It feels like years actually. To play this game was a nice idea.", she said to Pelna.

Pelna grinned, bowing slightly, "Well, to be honest? I couldn't watch these two dancing around each other any longer. Obviously, it worked. I just hope one of them will be smart enough to take this chance."

**

You and Nyx walked side by side through the streets of Insomnia's underground to reach your place. It wasn't far away from Yamachang's and not even far away from Nyx' own place but you were glad to have Nyx by your side. Although you had noticed how silent Nyx had become.

"So, thanks a lot for bringing me home safely.", you said, turning around to Nyx as you reached the entrance of your apartment complex.

Nyx watched you and how your eyes were sparkling, "No problem. It… it was a nice evening, tho."

"Yeah, it was indeed very nice.", you admitted. You wanted to say more, mentioning the kiss again but you didn't know how.

Nyx grinned and stepped forward, pulling something out of one pocket of his pants. The courage had been back, he just had to use it, "What do you think? Wanna try it again? I'm sure we can do that better.", he said, raising a card between his index finger and middle finger.

You grinned, raising one eyebrow, "Ulric, you're so competitive? I had no idea."

"Well, I just hate to lose.", Nyx answered with a lopsided smirk. This time, he prepared the card with his mouth but as you came closer, he let it drop how you had done it earlier. And then, as he felt your lips, Nyx leant in even more. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss before you could back off.

He cupped your face, knotting his fingers with your hair and pulling you closer, working his mouth against yours in a gentle but hungry way. He felt that you moved along. Your hands were clinging to his shirt and you even pulled him closer.

Nyx just broke the kiss as his lungs demanded fresh oxygen. He leant back to look insecurely into your eyes what your reaction might be after this second kiss.

"I- I thought you hate to lose...", you breathed against Nyx' mouth.

"I never was talking about the card. I didn't want to lose another moment with you after I could taste you.", Nyx whispered with a racing heart.

"Oh, is that so? Then, do us both a favor and stop talking.", you said with a grin, pulling Nyx back to you for another kiss.

Nyx was startled. He had just hoped it would work to kiss you again and now, you took him by surprise as it actually worked. So, before your lips connected again, he stopped you, "Wait a sec... y-you mean, you want this? You... you want me?", he stuttered.

"Why so shocked, hero? Or were you just joking?", you asked, half amused and half concerned that he just had made fun of you.

Nyx shook his head as he saw doubts in your eyes, "No! No, I wasn't joking. I just... I... you never showed much interest in me."

"I know. I tried but... It was just... I wasn't sure about your feelings for me. You showed so many different reactions towards me. You came closer. Then, you retreated yourself again. I was a bit confused about your signals and decided to wait for your next step. You're so good at hiding what you really want. But trust me, I would have talked to you soon."

"Really? Why?", Nyx asked surprised.

"Because you… Nyx, you ... you drive me crazy. Every time when we're together, I want to hold your hand so badly. I want to kiss you. Be close to you. Feeling your arms around me. I was just waiting for you to make a step or to show a sign. Anything.", you explained softly.

"You mean a sign like the kiss back at Yamachang's?"

"Well yeah, I... I tried to show you how I feel about you...at least, I hoped you would understand."

"You did a great job. I felt a lot of things at this moment. That was... the kiss was the reason why I found the courage to make this step.", Nyx admitted with a shy smile.

You stepped closer, roaming slowly over Nyx' chest where you felt his increasing heartbeat underneath your touch. Slowly, you looked up, meeting his eyes, "Well, now, where we have sorted this out could you... fuck damnit, Nyx!", you scolded him impatiently but with a small chuckle, "Could you please just kiss me?", you begged before you gnawed on your lower lip.

Nyx watched your moves closely. How your teeth dug into the soft skin, how sexy you were when you looked at him through your lashes. He cupped your face once again, caressing your cheeks softly with his thumbs before he leant forward, "Oh, trust me, nothing would please me more.", he answered grinning with a pounding heart before he kissed you as passionately as he could.

It was the first real kiss. The next step into something bigger between you and the hero with the soft blue eyes.

[armory-rasa]

Have you ever made a flask, canteen, or other liquid holder? The tutorials on YouTube all seem to do similar things but the final products are always very rough or sloppy, which makes me question the workmanship. As my go-to for quality armor tutorials, I was just wondering if you had ever made something like that and if so did you deviate from: Cut, glue?, stitch, stretch, beeswax, plug.

I have not, but you inspired me to go watch some and weigh in on them. :D

This was the top result when I searched "make a leather flask," and unless I'm missing something, I'd say the workmanship on this is pretty solid. Some of the other videos have sloppy stitching and sloppy edges, but this guy takes the steps to mitigate those problems, namely by:

- Using a stitching groover to put channels in the leather before stitching, because that helps the thread stay in a tidy line. And bonus pro-tip: making sure that each stitch is angled the same direction. (Which, hm, isn't a very good explanation if you don't already know what I'm talking about. Perhaps I should do a long post on stitching.)

- Using contact cement to anchor the edges, followed by pounding/pressing them together tightly, followed by sanding the edges flat and then beveling them. I may not have done this for flasks before, but it's the same process as finishing the edges on a welted knife sheath:

You line the edges up as best you can while glueing, and then sand them down so that all the layers form one seamless edge. For knife sheaths, a belt sander is ideal, but I don't have one of those, so I tend to use a dremel with a sanding drum. It's the same as sanding by hand, just faster. So yeah, definitely glue.

Other miscellaneous thoughts:

I wouldn't tape the pattern to the leather; I don't know why he felt the need to do that, it isn't hard to keep the pattern in position while you're tracing. Even scotch tape and masking tape will fuck up the surface of the leather when you pull it off. Also, since he's going to be dyeing and beveling the edges anyway, I would have marked the pattern with a fine-point brown sharpie instead of an awl, it gives you more control.

He mentions in the video that some people use a drill press to make the stitching holes, and advises against it, but sometimes it's kind of unavoidable -- not on this flask project, because he's only punching through two layers of 9 oz leather, but when you're making welted knife sheathes, sometimes you're working with up to four or even five layers, and it's literally too thick for a diamond punch. (...Yeah I definitely have a lot to say about stitching.)

Ridiculous layers:

I would not have used the Eco-Flo Pro Waterstain that he does; that stuff is garbage, and does create the waxy barrier that he mentions causing problems when it comes time to soak the flask before wet-molding. Just use an alcohol-based dye, Fiebings or Angelus, you'll be doing yourself a favor.

Using corn kernels to get the shape is leaving some textured indentations in the wet leather; that could be avoided by using something smaller and smoother, like sand. Though the tradeoff of potentially winding up with sand in your finished water jug might not be worth it.

You could probably cut your beeswax with paraffin wax, which is cheaper and also easier to work with, in my experience. (Beeswax is REALLY sticky.) Or what I use, which is jeweler's casting wax, because it has a higher melting point (~170 F) than beeswax or paraffin (~140 F and ~120 F, respectively). This makes your armor less likely to go soft even if it gets left in a hot car, though I'd have to check the material sheet to make sure it's non-toxic before using it on a drinking bottle.

He could have made the edges more polished by hitting it with an edge burnisher during the waxing stage.

*

But yeah, on the whole I'd say that's a really excellent tutorial (makes me want to go make a flask of my own, hah), and even the things I'd do differently are mostly just a matter of personal preference.

[neoniverse]

heal me. | chapter iv

disclaimer: this series is a work of fiction. any businesses, events or incidents are products of my wide imagination. all of the character’s personality does not reflect and has nothing to do in real life.

warnings: smut, angst, usage of strong language, mild violence, mentions of death, alcohol & drugs, degradation, cheating issues and lots of flashbacks

pairings: jung jaehyun x reader

a/n: read at your own risk. unedited.

song association: blinding lights - the weeknd

« CHAPTER III

“I loved you once

and now I must spend

my whole life explaining why.”

"Stop staring at me."

Jaehyun glances at you after noticing that you have been staring for the whole five minutes of him working over something. You watched his veiny hands flip each page of the paper he was holding before jotting down his signature with black ink.

He stopped for a moment and looked at you with his thin gold-rimmed glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

"Baby, I'm telling you. Don't provoke me."

"What? Did I do something wrong?" then purposely nudged the pencil holder near him. "Oh, right. Maybe I did."

You immediately kneeled down to pick the pencils up, arching your back more; enough for him to see your ass. Just as you were about to stand up, he suddenly lifted up your body and placed you on top of the desk.

"Jaehyun, what the he—" he shut you up with his index finger pressed to your lips and eyed you down with menacing look.

"Bend over," he orders. "Raise that skirt."

You do exactly what he said and faced the large space of his office while biting your lips as nervousness and excitement build upon your body. The trepidatious heat you're feeling is imparable; knowing that someone might widely open that door and see you both in that very sexual and unusual scene.

He slowly trailed up his cold fingers from the back of your knees to the exposed cheeks of your ass. With no words said, his hand harshly landed to your skin.

"I already told you to stop, didn't I? Why defy me?" he leans closer to your ear. "Use that pretty mouth of yours and answer me."

You shook your head sideways and pursued your lips to remain silent. The raging heat of your body weakened your knees as Jaehyun continued leaning closer. You felt his bulge growing behind you.

"My very own naughty dirty girl. You really, really like seeking attention, aren't you? Just because you know I am capable of doing this?"

"Jae, please."

"Why defy me, baby?"

"I did— I didn't!"

"Mhm, sure. I really don't care."

He pulled your black laced panties down and pushed the hem of the beige skirt to your waist. He even did your hair into a ponytail to pull. "Safe word?"

"Red, sir."

"Alright. Count my thrusts and if you get one wrong, I will absolutely sure you’re limping on your way out, whore."

He pulled you closer to him and positioned his member right to your area. He didn't wait for you to speak as he already get a hold of your waist and hair then pushed his fully erected member inside your wet pussy.

"Oh—holy fuck."

"What did I say? Count."

"O-one."

The whole room was filled with gradually speeding sounds of two bodies skin colliding. His hips harshly slamming against your ass made you release loud whimpers. The unholy grating and roughness of his movements by senselessly fucking you behind diminished your grasp to the table.

"Ah, shit, yes."

"Yeah? Like that?" he whispers to your ear then licked your jawline. "Such a big slut, are we? Your tight and wet pussy take my fucking cock so well."

You were on the peak of climax when you woke up to sense sound of a loud clap in front of your face. Everyone was looking at you, especially Johnny who gave you a what-is-happening-to-you look.

"Earth to Y/N. It's supposed to be a fun and special night yet you're spacing out?" Johnny utters before handing a bottle of cold beer. I massaged my temples as this is the fifth time of zoning out and thinking of things that I left buried in the past.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!"

It has been exactly five days ever since I moved out from the project for Neocity Incorporation. I didn’t want to settle in that decision but what are the odds anyway? He wanted me out of his sight just like how he wanted me before; to love and heal him.

You celebrated your not-so-fun birthday in your condominium unit with Johnny, Rosé, and Seolhee. Taeyong was also supposed to be there but he said he’s not available for he’s busy about something important. But he didn't just left you in the air like that for he dropped by earlier to give his very special and extravagant gift to you.

“Come on, just at least have fun,” Rosé spoke while munching on her fried chicken. “And the food tastes so damn good!”

“Rosie, that’s because you’re already finishing the box all by yourself.” Seolhee replies. Rosé gave her a deadly glare before taking another bite to the drumstick she's holding.

I trickled off the rivulet of cold beer on my throat before going out to the balcony to breathe in fresh air. As soon as the sliding door opened, cold breeze of wind embraced my body; making me cross my arms over my chest. I walked towards the metal handrail and placed my arms above it. Then wandered my eyes to the marvelous view. The skycrapers, busy highways of Seoul, and the gradient dark blue to black color sky of shining stars lured my despondent soul in.

I started tearing up as my heart felt a striding thump. "Oh, god. Why am I crying," I let out a small chuckle and wiped the tears that fell down my cheeks and from escaping my eyes.

"You're such a crybaby, just so you know."

The taunting dominant voice from my back halted me from moving. As I turn around, I saw him there, standing before me with a bottle of beer on his right hand. My breath hitched when his chocolate eyes meet mine, especially when that playful smirk is plastered on his lips.

"What are you doing here?" I shot back, giving emphasis to 'you'.

He walked towards my place and stood beside me as if he doesn't feel any tension between us. I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "You told me to stay away, now you're here to mess things up."

"I don't think I should even explain myself, Y/N."

What?

I let out a sarcastic scoff. "Wow, Mr. Jung. Did I step on your ego?" Jaehyun just looked at me as if trying to read me and my feelings. "I just wanted to say sorry, okay? I was intoxicated by alcohol that night."

"You feel sorry for being what, an asshole?” I ask, only to see his smile fade. “Where do you put alcohol, anyway? Down your annoying ass?"

That's for you, fucking jerk.

He chugged down the beer and slumped himself on the floor, his back leaning on the glass pane. I hate him. I really hate his guts. He’s arrogant, who act like my fucking boss, and act like he knows shit.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Jaehyun spoke. Sadness poisons his voice. “I mean it. Truly.”

I remained my eyes down at him, his chocolate like eyes gleam but sad. Is it bad if I feel remorseful? Even for once? I open my mouth to answer him, but nothing comes out. My anger and hate for him is tempered by coldness. I turn around to leave him alone but a warm embrace halted and encaged my body in.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, too low to hear. Something jostles my arms. “For what I did. I’m sorry. I know it’s not that easy to forgive but atleast let me prove myself to you—again.” His voice almost breaks.

With all my might and can, I detached his grip to mine. You are only apologetic whenever you feel like to do so.

“If you're sorry, you should’ve leave me alone,” I stare at him. “What does it feel like to be pushed away? You— you always confuse me.”

The thing with love is, no matter how hard you try to save and fix it, no matter how the two of you sacrifice, it always, in the end, becomes too much. Jaehyun and you was like two shadows playing with fire. No one was capable of winning, no one was capable of losing.

I went back inside and locked myself to my room. My heart fell into a pit of sneer razors, thin and sharp. I fear of being alone more than anything else before. But it was always better to be by oneself.

In the past few days, I’ve kept myself busy with the new project given by the boss. My exhaustion is bone-deep and my heart is another wound entirely, still bleeding from taking all pain and failure.

“Engineer? You have a visitor at the office.”

My brows immediately furrowed to the worker but I just gave him a nod. He then walked away afterwards. I wasn't expecting any visitor for today but maybe it's a surprise?

Right after I swung the door open, Jaehyun in his office attire and my co-worker, Jun, was talking about something. Jaehyun stood up when he saw me enter the room. I gave Jun a notice to go out for a meantime but instead, he gave me a wink and goodluck sign before leaving.

"I just came by to invite you," Jaehyun started. "It's just a party and I assure you I will bring you home after."

In short, a party and his date.

"And that is for what?" I answered. "I'm one of your least concerns, Mr. Jung. I don't think I should comply to that."

He licked his lower lip. "I don't have any one to go with me. So Y/N, please, just this one night?"

You don't know what force pulled you to hell just so you can agree and join him to the said party. You just found yourself wearing a black plunging neckline dress that you saw on your closet earlier. And partnered up with beige heels. A sexy clothing like this wasn't in your thoughts at all, but you wanted to grab Jaehyun's limelight at the party.

"You look so gorgeous tonight."

And that was his cue before sliding his hand to your waist while you both are making your way to the red carpeted hallway.

"Thanks, I guess?" You answered. Jaehyun gave you a sincere smile that revealed his two sets of deep dimples.

When the two of you entered the ballroom, you both were welcomed by media and the other guests that overwhelmed your whole being. Laughter and chattering resonated inside the palatial ballroom and the glimmering theme laced the party, having some resemblance to a renaissance painting.

“Mr. Jung! Good to see you here!”

An old man in black suit approached and shook hands with him. He looked at you surprisingly. “Oh, the great Miss Y/N! How could I forget?”

You replied to him with a smile and polite bow before grabbing a champagne flute from a waiter. Jaehyun ended his talk with the man and proceeded walking with you to the reserved table.

Many people was intrigued to as why you and him, were together in the event; especially the media who even interviewed you two regarding it. I’m just his date for tonight. That was your answer. By the whole time moving, you just got bored and more bored for social gatherings wasn’t really your thing.

“Come with me, I’ll show you something.”

Jaehyun handed you his hand before pulling you to run away from the ballroom. You giggled when you almost tripped on your feet while running to your way out.

“If this isn’t something good, swear to heaven’s saints and angels, I will fucking kick your balls!” You playfully taunt him.

He drove to the airport as soon as the car left the basement parking. The butterflies inside your stomach fluttered when both of you walked towards a private jet at the airport ramp. Your heart raced when you got inside and saw Mark standing at the cockpit.

“Where are we going?” You ask, but instead, he just shot his brow up at you.

The whole flight lasted for 12 hours and you still have zero idea to where Jaehyun is bringing you. Butterflies that flutter inside your stomach grew wild with anticipation when the plane landed safely—sending notice that you have arrived at your destination.

"Good evening. This is Captain Lee, your Pilot for the night. We have safely landed in Rome-Fiumicino Airport. Yo, Jaehyun Jung, use protection later!"

Mark vulgarly announced to the whole craft, making your cheeks flush. Jaehyun just laughed it off as if it's not awkward for him.

"You brought me to Rome freaking Italy?" You exasperated said, eyes widen, to the person beside you. "I already told you before, I will make myself up."

"I hope you know that I am sorry for everything, Y/N."

-

The soft knocks on your hotel room door woke your senses up. You rubbed your eyes before grabbing the silk robe you bought at a nearby boutique last night before you and Jaehyun check-in at a obviously luxurious hotel.

It's already 9 AM.

You opened the door and saw Jaehyun standing there, wearing a simple white shirt, tucked in his washed blue jeans. He eyed you up and down before greeting.

"Hi."

"Hey."

Silence.

One.

Two.

Three.

"You ready? We're going to our first tourist spot."

When we arrived at the Colosseum— which was my ever since wish, my jaw dropped as to see the beauty. Jaehyun, who is standing beside me kept looking at the old building.

"What's the use of your film camera if you won't open it?" I mocking asked before snatching it from him. "Go there, I'll take a picture of you."

He hesitated first before following your demand. You took two shots of him, standing in front of the beautifully created structure. You were doing boomerangs for your Instagram story when Jaehyun pulled you.

"Mi scusi, puoi farci una foto?" He politely asked to a passerby and gave her his phone. The old lady smiled and took it.

Jaehyun suddenly wrapped his arm on your shoulders, making your heart jump for a second. The woman counted before clicking the shutter of his phone camera.

"You, two, look nice together! Good couple!" She created a heart shaped sign then left us alone. Jaehyun beside you just laughed while you were standing there, dumbfounded.

He took your wrist and pulled you so the both of you started walking again. You also posted an IG story of Jaehyun's back that left a bombarding dm's from Rosé, Seolhee, Johnny, and Mark.

@parkrosies: please bring home some food!

@l_seolhee: NOW I KNOW WHY YOU'RE ABSENT

@seo.johnny: Use protection! ;)

@mark.lee: Have fun, Y/N! I hope you guys will go home with a baby.

Mark's message made you laugh then you closed your phone. The trip in Colosseum ended by eating at a near restaurant that was again, high-end and fancy. Jaehyun insisted walking to a park before going back to the hotel.

"Did you enjoy?" He asked while sipping on his iced americano.

You nodded slowly. "Hmm, I really did."

"We're just here for three days so we should go to a lot more places tomorrow." Your poor heart fell on your stomach as to his word.

"Three days will be enough, then," Jaehyun glanced at you. "I hope it's enough for us."

When the both of you arrived in front of each other's hotel doors, he gave you a small smile and mouthed, 'tomorrow' before going inside his room.

The next day, you woke up late because you slept late for contemplating over things. Jaehyun brought you to the center and major tourist attraction, St. Peter's Basilica. Then to the Pantheon and to a museum. Until the day after next, last day. It was Trevi Fountain; one of the places you wanted to travel to before.

"So this is the end?"

Jaehyun stared deep into your eyes as if enthralling. You nodded slowly when you felt a small pang in your heart. "Jaehyun."

He cocked his head to the side. "Yeah?"

"I'm forgiving you," l stated with a genuine smile on my lips. "And I also mean it. No lies."

"Wait, shit, for real?" He was suddenly jubilant.

The immaculate twinkle in his eyes made your heart even more flutter. He bit his lower lip when he felt his heart pounding in ebullience. Maybe three days were enough to understand and love something good about him.

"Thank you, Y/N. Tha—"

You gave him a smack on the lips before running back to your hotel room. Jaehyun was left there, in his room, still in shocked position. As soon as you closed the door, you leaned back to it and placed your hand to the chest.

You knew what it was.

With your heart into pieces, you try to heal it alone. Not knowing it was him the whole time.

You fell, again.

[paralumanleadmehome]

Bough Breaks by Fawn_Velveteen (a fanfic review)

Just so you guys know how much this fic means to me, I was at a book fair two hours away from home, and I was reading this. I was at a book fair surrounded by so many books written by internationally acclaimed authors and yet I can't let this fic go. This is how much I love this.

A little disclaimer though, I am honestly a sucker for Dadzawa content - especially when Dadzawa shows love to the little green bean. BUT I am also admittedly drawn to stories that depict abuse, mental health, and of the likes. Which makes this story my cup of tea.

To give you a little bit of insight, here's the summary for Bough Breaks (as posted in Ao3):

In life, nothing is certain. Pro-heroes aren’t always the good guys. Children are not spared from the darkest realms of humanity. Izuku isn't acting like his normal self at school lately, and his homeroom teacher has taken notice. After learning about the mother’s new, unwelcomed boyfriend, Aizawa’s concern shifts into dread. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep his student away from harm.

A little in-depth but quick summary here would be:

Midoriya is a rape victim and the perpetrator is none other than Inko's boyfriend who's also a famous pro-Hero. Midoriya was antagonized by someone who was supposed to protect the greater good, who was supposed to protect people who were weaker than him, and the first one to notice and trust his instinct to act is Aizawa.

Now what I absolutely love about this fic is how it's written. I honestly believe that the author is a brave, amazing, and a wonderful human being for having written this story. I always believe that people who can write about abuse, depression, and anxiety and still strive to create and see a better world despite it are amazing.

Fawn-Velveteen has created a perfect balance between having someone suffering from trauma and having someone else be there for them.

I love love love the fact that Aizawa's instinct to protect developed into something more personal for him and for Midoriya. I love the fact that everything he did was for Izuku - how he changed things in his life, in his home, in his work, in his everything. BUT I ALSO ALSO ALSO love the fact that Fawn_Velveteen created that perfect sense of balance between who Aizawa is with and without Izuku, the different parts of him that aren't fully separated but also not fully integrated, something that stories like these rarely dive into and something I wish someone told me before I became the tired soul that I am now.

Let me elaborate.

Everything Aizawa did, he did it all for Izuku. Turn his office into a bedroom? No problem. Miss his work (both teaching and hero work) just so he could watch over the boy? Easy peazy. Completely change the routine of his life and be all touchy and huggy and loving and warm? Heck yeah if that's what Izuku needs.

But everything above is what Izuku needs. What about Aizawa's needs?

Admit it or not, there is only so much you can do and give and be with people who have undergone trauma, are going through mental health issues, and deep heavy dramas until it affects you. And gosh damnit, it affected Aizawa.

He doesn't see Izuku as a burden and I believe you have to kill him first if you want to convince him of that, considering he hasn't murdered you first. But damnit he also needs a breather. And I love that he isn't called selfish for needing it. Emphasis on need, not want. And I love the fact that he doesn't have to carry the burden of Izuku's world alone; he has Present Mic and Midnight and Vlad (and Endeavor, who knew) and they actually let him call for these Mental Health Breaks if they aren't the ones asking him to take it. And it's healthy. And Aizawa wasn't selfish for wanting it. In fact, I admire Aizawa because he found a way to deal with his breaks (his own life apart from Izuku) by settling into compromises with Izuku. He doesn't just up and disappear. He communicates. He asks if Izuku can hold for another hour, he asks if he can have lunch with so-and-so, he asks if this person can watch over him while he does this. He asks. And if Izuku can't, they deal with it some other way. And it's healthy. And I love it. Bad habits die hard so kill them before they come.

I also enjoy the fact that even though Izuku was already the holder of One-for-All, no one victim blames him. They see him as he is - a child, a young boy, someone who had everything ripped away from him. It hurts my heart, yes, but I'm glad that no one blames him. On a side note, I am furious with his perpetrator's supporters. Like hell you think Bakken is innocent. Fuck you. But that's for a different post. Also, Monoma's a dick for his insensitive comment. But again, another post.

I wish that Izuku could be kinder to himself but that's how trauma works, I think. It takes away the good. It takes away the capacity to think of the good. And old habits die hard, especially habits that were forced on you, but as I said, I am hopeful. And I am proud of Izuku's progress in the story. It hurts when he regresses, but it's also a clear reminder that healing isn't linear. And just becauae Izuku regresses doesn't mean he doesn't deserve love. I mean Thor was a depressed alcoholic but Mjolnir still deemed him worthy. Just saying.

I love that no one blames Izuku when he has panic attacks. I love that no one calls him weak for it. I love that it gets reiterated again and again and again that it's not his fault, that none of the things that happened to him is his fault. It's something he needs to know and I love that everyone is patient to remind him of that.

So if you find yourself in Aizawa's shoes, you aren't selfish for needing a break. And if you find yourself in Izuku's, you aren't hopeless just because you regressed. Healing isn't linear. And you need you to be kind to you.

And I don't know. I'm just really really excited for this fic. I have an idea as to how it will end but I still look forward to it nonetheless. I lool forward to the day the "victim" turns into a "survivor" - that Izuku is no longer trapped but is a conqueror.

Tbh, I think All Might could've done better here but I'll leave my opinion of him out of this for now. And I'm not saying that the fic is perfect; I still think it has flaws in itself, but frankly speaking, I almost don't care.

It's a good fic.

And if you're like me who wants to see a brighter and better world despite the trashy realities that surround us, maybe we can share this cup of tea.

(Also it wouldn't hurt if you can send the author some love. Part of that love is what keeps them going.)

(Also attaching the fic cos why not)