#I'm actually shaking I'm so frustrated they don't understand. That's how long it takes me.

[aftermathing]

.

[cntloup]

Gojo Satoru x pregnant!reader

protective!Satoru, fluff, a lil angst, mention of feeling guilty, implied heavy symptoms experienced by the reader

"it's ok, baby. i've got it." Satoru says as he approaches your slouched form over the sink, washing the dishes as you try to get something done and make yourself useful.

you've been feeling guilty during the past month or so, feeling like you were a burden to him, thinking that you would never live up to his expectations. now he has to take care of you. and as time goes by, it will get even worse as your pregnancy progresses. but he's a busy man with heavy responsibilities. you'd be only holding him back. you torture yourself with these thoughts every day.

"oh, thanks. i'll go clean up the living room and do the laundry then." you respond with a forced smile, trying to mask the guilt that's been gnawing at you for a while as you try to keep yourself from falling over out of dizziness.

"what? no, wait! i'll do it after i wash the dishes. you go get some rest. you've done enough." he retorts while gently grabbing your arm, voice slightly raised to stop you immediately.

he is in utter disbelief at your behavior. you should be resting right now, tucked in beneath the soft sheets peacefully. you shouldn't worry your pretty little head about anything, he thinks.

"i haven't done anything all day." you utter in a faintly frustrated tone, mostly at yourself.

"and that's exactly how it should be." he replies with a nod, "now go to bed before i drag you there myself." he adds, maintaining a playful tone, a soft smile adorning his features as he drinks in your beauty. you're already glowing. but considering how observant he is, he senses your discomfort immediately like he can actually feel the gloom and sorrow you're feeling right now like a mother hen.

"what is it, baby? tell me." he murmurs as he walks up to you and pulls you into him by your hips, shining blue eyes staring at you as he awaits a response.

his hand rests on your side as the other cups your jaw, his thumb swiping over your cheek that could be dampened any moment now as you feel tears threatening to spill.

"i'm so sorry." you whisper breathily, voice slightly quivering with the lump in your throat as you look up into his glowing eyes.

"for what?" he asks, confusion evident on his features.

"for being weak. i'm so sorry to disappoint you." you finally spill out the words that have been weighing heavily on your chest as the tears cascade down your glossy eyes.

"disappoint me? i don't understand... why are you crying, love?" he mutters with a shake of his head, his confusion growing even more by your words as his fingers swipe over your cheeks to wipe away the stray tears.

"you're literally the strongest and you're stuck with me. i'm barely even showing yet and i'm feeling extreme fatigue. i've been sleeping all day for the past month cause i can't do anything. and because of the symptoms, i'll probably have to quit my job." you ramble about the thoughts that have been pulling you down all this time.

"wait, wait, wait! how long have you been feeling like this?" he questions with widened eyes baring into your soul.

"eversince we found out i was pregnant. i can't stop feeling guilty about disappointing you." you reply quietly, almost embarrassed to admit it. of course you know you're being irrational. it's all natural to be tired during this time and need help, but you just can't help it.

"you've been feeling like this all this time and you didn't tell me anything?" he blurts out almost too aggressively to his liking, "sorry. didn't mean it to come out that way." he quickly apologizes after witnessing the slight flinch on your part.

how could he not see it? you've been trying to do the chores like regular, pushing yourself to your limit both in the house and on your job until he swoops in and takes the weight off your shoulders. now he starts to blame himself for not finding out sooner and letting you wallow in your own sadness and guilt all alone.

"you're not weak, baby. you're doing the one thing that i can't possibly ever do. the one thing that the strongest can't do. and what does that make you? huh? you're literally the strongest of all, babe. i can't even fathom what you're going through and you're doing amazing-", "i'm barely functioning." you cut him off.

"i'm not done yet, babe." he says playfully before continuing, "you're doing amazing, honey. you sleep not because you can't do anything else but because you need it. you're carrying our child for fuck's sake. a literal human's life is growing inside you and of course it takes its toll on you. and i'm right here beside you every step of the way." he finishes his loving speech with a tender kiss on your forehead as his strong arms wrap around your now slightly shaking form as you sob, utterly moved by his words and also the hormones.

"thank you, Satoru. i really appreciate it. you always know what to say when i'm feeling down." your words are cut off by loud sobs but he patiently waits for you to finish as he rubs your back soothingly while nuzzling his face in your neck.

"any time, baby. i love you." he whispers in your ear, "i love you too, toru." you say back, continuing to sob in his arms for a while before you eventually calm down and he guides you to bed, encouraging you to take some much-needed rest.

"and don't worry about your job. you can take some time off or quit altogether. i have more than enough to pay for our family and the next generations to come-", "ok, stop bragging!" you chuckle, "i'm just saying, baby. i've been dying to spoil you. now's my chance. let me take care of you. you don't have to go through this alone. in fact, i won't even let you." he chuckles lightly and crashes his lips onto yours, pulling away with a loud smack as you both lay in bed, limbs tangled together, "you already spoil me." you mention with a slight pout, "and i'm gonna do it even more. you deserve it, baby. don't worry about anything. i've got it." he says while softly caressing your cheek, admiring your glowing beauty illuminated by the faint bedside light.

you slowly start to feel the sleep creeping in and drift away into a slumber as you mumble a quiet 'thank you', curling into Satoru's side as he holds you so lovingly while you think to yourself how you've been blessed with the best, most loving and supportive partner anyone could ever ask for.

[godsfavdarling]

How does that feel?

my masterlist

+18!!!

pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader summary: You've been having a hard time finishing in bed and you finally tell Spencer what's going on. words: 4,4k warnings: smut - oral (fem! receiving), breast/nipple play, unprotected sex (don't do that) a/n: this was a request! also, i've stared at this thing for so long i don't know anymore what's going on, but i hope yall like it <3

You sat at a cozy corner table in the dimly lit bar, surrounded by your closest friends - Penelope, Emily, and JJ. The four of you had met up for a much-needed girls' night out to finally have a chance to unwind and catch up. 

"Can you believe the latest case we worked on?" JJ said, shaking her head. "Sometimes it feels like we're living in a crime novel."

"Tell me about it," Emily agreed. "But PLEASE! Let’s not talk about work. I need to decompress."

Penelope raised her glass. "To decompressing! And to… friends!"

You all clinked glasses, smiling at each other. Very quickly the conversation shifted towards more personal topics.

"So, how are things with Will?" Emily asked, turning to JJ.

JJ smiled. "Things are great, actually. We're planning a little getaway next month, just the two of us. What about you, Em? Any romance on the horizon?"

Emily shrugged. "I'm enjoying the single life right now. Besides, it’s not easy to find love having this job. When am I supposed to do that?"

Penelope grinned. "Don’t you worry about it, pumpkin! You’re gonna find someone soon. I can feel it in my bones!."

The conversation continued in this vein for a while, each of you sharing updates about your romantic lives. You listened and laughed along, but Penelope's observant eyes caught the slightly distant look on your face.

"Alright, spill it," Penelope prompted, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "What's been going on with you lately? You've seemed a bit off."

You sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and embarrassment. These were your friends, after all, and you knew you could trust them. "It's just... I've been having a hard time finishing in bed lately. It's been… really frustrating."

Emily raised an eyebrow, her expression sympathetic. "Have you talked to Spencer about it?"

You shook your head. "Not yet. I mean, I want to, but I don't want to make him feel bad or think it's his fault. He's always so attentive, and I don't want him to think he's doing something wrong. And he’s not doing anything wrong. He’s perfect. Obviously."

JJ leaned in, her voice gentle. "Hey, communication is key. Spencer loves you, and I'm sure he’d want to know what's going on so he can help. I’m sure his big brain knows exactly what to do."

Penelope nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely! Plus, it could be an opportunity to explore new things together… Sometimes all it takes is a little experimentation."

You smiled, feeling a bit more encouraged. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I'll talk to him."

-------------------------------------

Later that evening, you found yourself back at home, sitting on the couch next to Spencer. He was engrossed in a book, the dim light casting soft shadows across his focused face. He set the book aside when he noticed your pensive expression, concern immediately clouding his eyes.

"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked, his voice gentle but laced with worry.

You took a deep breath, feeling your heart pound in your chest. "Spence, there's something I need to talk to you about."

He turned to face you fully, his full attention on you, his brow furrowing slightly. "Of course. What is it?"

You hesitated, your fingers twisting in your lap as you searched for the right words. Finally, you decided to dive in. "Lately, I've been having a hard time finishing in bed. It's been really frustrating for me, and I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to feel bad."

Spencer's expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding and concern. His mouth opened slightly as if to speak, but he hesitated, clearly processing what you had just revealed. "Oh…”

You immediately regretted saying anything. It wasn't the end of the world, after all. You still enjoyed sex but just couldn't reach the high. Maybe you were just too stressed. 

It had nothing to do with Spencer. 

Tears welled up in your eyes as Spencer seemed lost in thought, his brow furrowed as he tried to find the right words. Why would he know what to say? You felt like you were just making things difficult.

“Forget it. It’s fine,” you said quickly, trying to dismiss the conversation and spare him the discomfort.

“No, no, no, wait,” he said, reaching out and grabbing your hands as you started to stand up. His grip was firm but gentle, grounding you. “It’s okay. I’m glad you told me. I just… how did I not notice? I… I’m just trying to remember, well, I remember everything and I just… I can’t believe I… couldn’t tell.”

“It’s fine, Spencer. I didn’t want you to know. It’s embarrassing.” Your voice wavered, and you looked away, feeling tears start to spill down your cheeks.

“No, it’s not. It’s not embarrassing. I want you to feel good.”

“It does feel good. Always. I just… I don’t know. I just can’t cum. It’s like I get almost there and it feels good, but it never happens.” At this point, you were crying openly, the frustration and embarrassment overwhelming you.

Spencer pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you securely. You buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth and steady beat of his heart. He rubbed your back soothingly, his voice a soft murmur in your ear. "Hey, hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out together. I want to help."

You clung to him, feeling the weight of your frustration starting to lift just a little. "I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to think it was your fault."

Spencer pulled back slightly to look into your eyes, his gaze intense and filled with love. “It’s not your fault, and it’s not my fault. Sometimes these things happen. What’s important is that we’re in this together. We can try new things, we can talk and see what works for you.”

You nodded, sniffling a little. “Okay. I’d like that.”

“Good,” he said, smiling gently, his thumb brushing away a tear from your cheek. “We’ll take it slow and explore together. Your pleasure is important to me, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re satisfied.”

As you snuggled into his arms, the tension slowly easing from your body, you wondered why you had been so scared to tell him in the first place. Spencer always knew what to say, always knew how to make you feel safe and loved. 

This was Spencer - your Spencer - and you realized you had nothing to fear.

-------------------------------------

Spencer was clearly waiting for you to initiate anything, respecting your pace and comfort. In the meantime, he very carefully tried to understand you.

Despite his constant reassurances that there was nothing to be ashamed of and that he was more than happy to figure this out together, you couldn't shake the lingering embarrassment about your problem. He was understanding and supportive, trying to create a safe space for you to open up about your frustrations.

You spent several nights just talking, diving deep into the details of your intimate experiences. Spencer approached it with a mix of curiosity and determination, asking thoughtful and sometimes probing questions. 

You discussed every position you'd tried before, analyzing what felt best and why. You talked about your feelings toward toys and whether they might help. 

Spencer inquired about foreplay - whether it felt too short, too long, too intense, or not intense enough. He wanted to understand what was most pleasurable for you in terms of finishing. Was it when he was eating you out, fingering you, or through penetration? Or did you find that a combination of these was most satisfying? 

He also asked if you enjoyed it when he talked to you during the act. What were your favorite things for him to say? 

He wanted to understand everything about your experiences. What went through your mind when you masturbated? What kind of porn did you watch? Each question, while sometimes making your face flush with embarrassment, was asked with genuine care and focus. 

Spencer treated it like a meticulous scientific research project, aiming to solve the problem with the utmost care and attentiveness. His dedication and focus made you feel deeply cared for, as he was on a mission to be the one to help you find the satisfaction you deserved.

On Saturday night, you and Spencer lay in bed with your books, enjoying the quiet comfort of each other's company. He was engrossed in a thick classic novel in a foreign language, while you were absorbed in your favorite author’s new romance. The plot had just reached the point where the two protagonists had sex for the first time. The scene stirred something deep within you, making your skin feel hot and your heart race. You bit your lip, trying to concentrate, but your thoughts kept drifting.

As the scene ended, you finally allowed yourself to look over at Spencer. He was completely lost in the pages, his brows furrowed in concentration.

“Having problems, genius?” you teased, your voice carrying a playful edge.

“What? No!” he replied, not even looking up from the words on the page. “How’s your romance? Is it good?”

“Oh... it’s very good,” you said, scooting closer to him, propping your head on your hand. Finally, he looked at you, curiosity mingling with his usual attentiveness.

“What is it?” he asked, sensing your change in mood.

“Nothing,” you replied with feigned innocence, placing your hand on his chest. 

His eyes stayed on you, studying your expression. Your breathing grew heavier as you stared at his neck, unable to hold back any longer. You lowered your face to the side of his neck, your lips brushing against his skin.

Spencer's breath hitched slightly, and he set his book aside, his attention fully on you now. "Are you sure it's nothing?" he murmured, his voice low and inviting.

You smiled against his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. "Well, maybe it's something," you admitted, your voice a whisper. Your fingers traced gentle patterns on his chest, feeling a now quicker beat of his heart beneath your touch.

Spencer’s hand came up to cradle your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. “Tell me,” he urged softly, his eyes filled with desire.

The room felt charged with electricity. 

“Well… I was just reading this scene… where, you know… the girl and the boy finally fucked. On the floor. It made me think of us.” you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.

“You want to have sex on the floor?” Spencer asked with a serious tone.

You laughed, the sound easing some of the tension. “No, too many germs,” you said with a playful grin.

Spencer chuckled, his eyes softening with affection. “Alright, not on the floor then,” he said, his voice low and inviting as his hand gently caressed your cheek. “But I get the idea.”

You leaned into his touch, your heart pounding with anticipation. “I just want to be close to you,” you murmured, your fingers tracing the outline of his collarbone.

Spencer's eyes darkened with understanding, and he leaned in to kiss you, his lips soft yet insistent. “Then let’s explore that together,” he whispered against your lips, his hand sliding down to rest on your hip, pulling you closer.

His kiss was deep, his lips moving against yours with a gentle urgency that sent shivers down your spine. 

His hand, now resting on your hip, guided you closer, pressing your bodies together. 

You instinctively rubbed your thighs together, seeking some friction, and Spencer, ever observant, immediately noticed. It seemed impossible for him to be more attentive, yet somehow he was. 

With a gentle but deliberate motion, he turned you so that you were lying on your back beneath him. As he shifted, you felt the press of his already hard cock against your core, making you lift your hips slightly, yearning for more contact.

“We’re gonna take things slow, okay?” he murmured, his voice soft but firm. “I want you to feel good.”

You wanted him, you wanted him now, but you understood his approach. 

After all the endless conversations, you and Spencer had reached a few conclusions about what worked best for you both. 

For one, you often found yourselves too excited, mostly you, to slow things down. Foreplay, though it was present, had usually been quite brief due to the intense need to get naked and feel him inside you. So, longer foreplay became a new priority.

Two, you discovered that you felt most connected when he was close to you, every part of his body touching yours.

Three, you both agreed on the importance of more kissing. Spencer had given you what felt like a comprehensive college level lesson on erogenous zones, emphasizing the need to focus on and cherish these areas. 

His lips, his touch, his breath - every aspect of physical intimacy was to be savored and explored in greater depth.

With these insights in mind, Spencer leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. His hands roamed your body with a slow, deliberate grace, each touch designed to explore and stimulate. 

His kisses traveled from your lips to your neck, then lower, each movement a careful balance of passion and tenderness.

He paused to look into your eyes, his gaze filled with both love and a hint of playful mischief. “Ready for us to take our time?” he asked, his voice a soothing murmur.

You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of excitement and relief. “Let’s take our time.”

Your nipples were already hard against your tank top, the fabric offering little barrier to the stimulation. Spencer grazed the side of your breasts with his hands, his touch both teasing and tender. 

As his lips kissed and nuzzled your collarbones, his thumb began to circle your nipple through the thin material of your shirt. The sensation made you shiver with pleasure, and you melted further into his touch.

His leg, now firmly pressed between your thighs, rubbed gently against your inner thighs and core. The pressure of his length pressed into your hip, amplifying the heat building in you.

“Please, take it off,” you whispered, your voice quivering with need.

“Take off what?” Spencer murmured, his face still buried in your chest, his hair brushing against your face with every movement.

“My shirt. Please,” you pleaded, a hint of desperation in your voice.

He chuckled softly, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he slid his hands lower, pushing up your top to reveal your stomach. He showered your exposed skin with soft kisses, his lips warm and affectionate against your belly. 

As you reached for the hem of your shirt, you quickly pulled it off, tossing it aside.

“What happened to taking things slow?” Spencer asked, looking up at you with a teasing grin, his chin resting against your stomach.

“Sorry,” you said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

“Don’t be,” he replied with a smile. “I just want to make sure you feel really good.”

“I do,” you whispered, your voice filled with need. “Keep going.”

“Whatever you say, angel,” he murmured with a soft chuckle.

With that, Spencer moved between your legs, lifting them and resting them on his shoulders. He positioned himself comfortably, and you felt the anticipation rise as his face moved closer to your core. 

He inhaled deeply, his breath warm against your sensitive folds, making you whimper in response.

“Please,” you begged softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay,” he said, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into you, pulling down your underwear with careful, deliberate motions. He started with a gentle kiss on your nub, his lips exploring with a tenderness that made you gasp. 

He then trailed his kisses down to your thighs, peppering them with soft, teasing pecks. The sensation was delightful, and you giggled, placing your hand on his cheek.

He turned his mouth to your hand, kissing the inside of your palm before taking it in his hand and guiding it back to rest gently beside you. His fingers lingered, his touch warm and reassuring as he held your hand. 

He then looked at your cunt.

“You’re already so wet. For me?” he asked, his voice filled with both awe and desire.

“For you? Always,” you replied, your breath hitching.

He chuckled against you, the sound and the vibration making you shiver. “Don’t do that,” you said with a laugh, trying to steady your breathing.

“Sorry,” he murmured with a playful tone. 

Before you could say anything more, he gave you a long, slow lick from your entrance to the top, his tongue moving with a deliberate slowness. He stopped at your sensitive nub and began to suck gently, his mouth working with a rhythm that made you arch your back and moan in pleasure.

Spencer’s mouth was a world of sensation against you. 

He kept going with long, languid licks, his tongue gliding from your entrance to the top of your sensitive nub. Each stroke was deliberate, exploring every inch with a careful, loving precision. 

The warmth of his tongue, combined with the perfect pressure, sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, making you gasp and moan.

You felt your breath quicken as his movements became more focused. 

He moved his tongue in quicker, teasing circles around your clit, his mouth creating a constant, delightful friction. 

You squirmed under the intensity, your hips instinctively bucking in response.

When you no longer felt him on your clit, a desperate cry for him almost escaped your lips. But then, he gently slipped his tongue inside you, and a wave of relief and pleasure washed over you. 

He moved with precision, his tongue exploring deeper while maintaining the steady, teasing motions that drove you wild. Each movement was deliberate, calculated to elicit the maximum pleasure from you.

His nose brushed against your folds and clit with each movement, adding an extra layer of sensation. The combination of his tongue inside you and the gentle pressure of his nose against your most sensitive spot made you tremble. 

Your hand clutched at the sheets, your body arching toward him, seeking more.

You could feel the build-up of tension and ecstasy swelling inside you.

Through all of this, Spencer held your hand firmly in his, his fingers intertwined with yours. 

As you felt your orgasm approaching, you squeezed his hand tightly, your fingers gripping his with a mix of desperation and pleasure. 

Spencer responded by tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, his touch soothing and intimate amidst all the intense sensations he was creating.

With a final, expert flick of his tongue, he sent you spiraling into a powerful climax. 

Your body tensed and then released in a wave of pleasure, your moans filling the room. Spencer continued his slow, consistent movements, savoring every moment of your release.

As the waves of pleasure began to subside, he slowly eased his mouth away, leaving soft, lingering kisses along your inner thighs. 

His hand remained clasped with yours, and he looked into your eyes from between your thighs, his expression a mix of content and desire. “Wanna keep going? We can stop if you need to.”

You shook your head, a determined glint in your eyes as you pulled yourself up and crushed into him, pressing your lips against his with an almost desperate intensity. 

The kiss was fervent, your tongues dancing together, both urgent and consuming as you tasted yourself on his lips and on his tongue. He was covered in you.

Spencer’s hands found their way to your back, his touch warm and gentle, but firm at the same time.

Tonight felt different. It was more intense, more electric. 

As your kiss grew deeper, you moaned into him, the sound mingling with his own soft groans of pleasure. With a deft maneuver, he turned you so that you were straddling him, his hands firmly on your hips.

“Is this okay?” he managed to ask, his voice a low rumble as he pulled away just enough to look into your eyes. The effort it took to break the kiss was evident, his breaths heavy and laden with desire.

“Yes,” you responded quickly, your need palpable as you crashed your lips back onto his, kissing him even harder. 

“Baby, slow down,” Spencer said softly, though his voice was tinged with longing. “We were meant to go slow.”

You moved your lips to his cheek and jaw, leaving a trail of kisses that were tender but laced with urgency. “I need you. I need you so bad,” you whispered against his skin, the words laced with an aching desire.

Spencer gently cupped your face, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your jawline. He guided your gaze to meet his.

“Look at me,” he said softly, his voice a gentle promise and his eyes filled with affection “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. We have all night and even more.”

He leaned in and kissed you with a tenderness that contrasted the intensity of moments before. 

“How do you do it?” you asked breathlessly, your curiosity blending with the haze of desire. You wondered, as you looked into his eyes, how he managed to maintain such control over himself amidst all the passion.

“What?” Spencer’s voice was a mixture of confusion and intrigue.

“Stop yourself,” you clarified, your voice barely above a whisper. “How do you manage to hold back?”

Spencer’s eyes softened, and he gave you a reassuring smile. “It’s not about holding back,” he said, his voice calm and sincere. “It’s about making sure you feel good. I want this to be perfect for you, for us, every time. That’s what matters.”

His words stirred something deep within you, and you were hit by a wave of warmth and appreciation. As he leaned in to kiss you again, the tender, loving nature of his touch gave you goosebumps.

“Can we fuck now?” you asked, your voice husky with need.

Spencer looked at you with a warm, eager smile. “Yes. Yes, we can,”

You gave his cock a few teasing strokes, feeling the way he reacted, his breath hitching as he moaned softly into your shoulder. You slowly guided him to your entrance. 

The sensation of him pressing against you was both thrilling and comforting, a familiar solace you will never get tired of and always makes your world shudder.

With a gentle, deliberate motion, you positioned him at your core, and you slowly lowered yourself onto him. 

The gradual stretch and the way he filled you completely was exquisite, causing you both to moan into each other’s mouths softly. 

You took your time, savoring each inch, feeling every subtle shift and movement.

Spencer’s hands were steady on your hips, guiding and supporting you as you adjusted to his size. His breaths were heavy, matching the rhythm of your movements. 

The room was filled with only the sound of your shared pleasure, a mix of gasps and moans.

As you slowly rode him, the rhythm of your movements became more synchronized, each motion building both of you up to the peak. 

Spencer’s hands were not idle - he moved with purpose, his touch exploring every inch of your body with a deep, loving attentiveness.

One hand continued to support you around your lower back, while the other trailed up to your breasts. His fingers began to play with your nipples, gently pinching and rolling them as you moved. 

That was one thing you had confessed to him during one of your intimate conversations, and Spencer had clearly taken it to heart. You had shared with him how much you loved when he played with your breasts, revealing, a bit embarrassed, the deep pleasure it brought you.

“How does that feel?” he asked in between the kisses he left on your neck, his voice a husky whisper against your skin.

“Fuck,” was all you managed to say, a breathless gasp that made him chuckle, his eyes gleaming with amusement and desire.

He massaged your breasts tenderly, his fingers moving with a practiced ease, adjusting his touch to match the rhythm of your thrusts. His lips covered every inch of your neck and shoulders, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

The combination of his hands on your breasts, the feeling of him inside you, and his lips on your skin was overwhelming. Your body responded instinctively, arching into his touch, your breath coming in short, sharp bursts.

Spencer’s breath came in ragged gasps, his groans of pleasure mingling with yours. His hands worked skillfully, keeping your nipples sensitive and aroused as your movements became more frantic and desperate. Then his eyes locked onto yours, a mixture of concentration and passion evident in his gaze.

While you stared into his brown eyes, he finally teased your nipple with a light lick of his tongue. 

You almost screamed. 

He started kissing it while his other hand worked on your other breast, his mouth hot and insistent. His tongue traced circles around your hard peak, sending shivers down your spine, while his slim fingers squeezed the other one.

At that point, you screamed into his ear, unable to contain the intensity of your pleasure.

“Sorry,” you whispered, your voice a trembling apology.

“It’s okay. You’re so beautiful,” he replied, his eyes softening with affection as he looked at you, his hands never ceasing their tender ministrations. His words and touch combined, making you feel cherished and desired in every way and that made your heart swell.

His lips returned to your other nipple, sucking and teasing it with more insistence now.

Finally, the pressure inside you reached its peak. 

With a gasp and a shudder, you came, the wave of ecstasy crashing over you while his lips stayed on your breasts peppering them with kisses.

Your body tensed and then relaxed as you rode out the climax, your moans filling the room. Spencer continued to stroke your breasts gently, his touch both soothing and stimulating as he guided you through the final throes of your orgasm.

As you slowly came down from the high, you leaned your head against his, your fingers gently threading through his hair, the other arm wrapped around his neck. He held you close, his hands now lingering on your back with a soft, affectionate touch. 

He squeezed you tightly, turning his face to kiss your neck, which elicited one more moan from your lips. 

You could feel him smiling against your skin as he squeezed you tightly one more time.

[heejake-hoon]

Sunghoon helping you fall asleep by eating you out

warning: smut, mdni, the title is self explanatory..

You toss and turn restlessly, mind racing with the stresses of the day. No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to shut off your brain.

Beside you, Sunghoon stirs, cracking one eye open to peer at you blearily. "Can't sleep?" he asks, voice rough with exhaustion.

You sigh, rolling over to face him. "No," you admit, running a frustrated hand through your hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

Sunghoon hums, reaching out to tuck a stray lock behind your ear, fingers lingering on your cheek. "S'okay. Anything I can do to help?"

You start to shake your head, but then pause, a thought occurring to you. Biting your lip, you slide closer, draping a leg over his hip suggestively. "Actually... I can think of one thing that always helps me relax..."

Even in the darkness, you can see Sunghoon's eyes darken with understanding, a slow smile curving his mouth. "Oh?" he murmurs, hand sliding down to palm your ass, pulling you more firmly against him. "And what might that be, baby?"

In answer, you push at his shoulders until he's flat on his back, swinging a leg over to straddle him. Sunghoon's hands automatically come up to grip your hips, thumbs rubbing teasing circles into your skin as you grind down against his growing hardness.

"Want you to make me feel good," you breathe, leaning down to brush your lips over his. "Want that talented tongue of yours between my thighs. Think you can do that for me, Hoonie?"

Sunghoon groans lowly, fingers flexing on your hips. "Fuck yes," he rasps, already urging you up his body. "Come up here and sit on my face, baby. Let me taste you, wanna feel you dripping all over me..."

You whimper, arousal spiking through you at his filthy words. Carefully, you knee-walk up the bed until you're hovering over his face, one hand braced on the headboard for balance.

Sunghoon doesn't hesitate, gripping your thighs and bringing you down to his waiting mouth with a low, appreciative moan. The first swipe of his tongue through your folds has you gasping, a full body shudder wracking your frame at the sensation.

He takes his time, alternating between long, flat licks and teasing flicks over your clit, working you up slowly but surely. It's not long before you're panting above him, rocking your hips shamelessly against his face as pleasure coils tight in your belly.

"Fuck, Sunghoon," you whine, free hand coming down to tangle in his hair, holding him in place. "Your mouth, god- feels so fucking good, don't stop..."

Sunghoon just hums in response, the vibrations making you see stars. He redoubles his efforts, sealing his lips around your clit and sucking hard, two fingers sliding into your dripping hole and curling deep inside you-

Your orgasm crashes over you without warning, back arching as you bite down on your knuckles to muffle your cry. Sunghoon works you through it, licking and stroking and prolonging your release until you're shaking, until you're forcibly pushing his head away because it's too much.

Carefully, you dismount, collapsing onto your back next to him and throwing an arm over your face as you try to catch your breath. You feel Sunghoon shift, and then he's gently prying your arm away, revealing your blissed out expression to his heated gaze.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," he murmurs, leaning down to kiss you slow and deep, letting you taste yourself on his lips and tongue. "I could spend hours between your thighs, baby. Love feeling you come apart on my mouth, love knowing I can make you shake like that..."

You hum contentedly, cupping his face in your palms when he pulls back. "Thank you," you whisper, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones tenderly. "I really needed that."

Sunghoon smiles, turning his head to press a kiss to your palm. "Anytime, Y/N. You know I love taking care of you."

You can only nod, eyelids already growing heavy as the post-orgasmic haze settles over you like a warm blanket. Sunghoon chuckles lowly, shifting to pull you into his arms, your back to his front.

"Sleep, baby," he murmurs into your hair, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. "I've got you. I'm right here."

And with his solid warmth surrounding you, his scent enveloping you, the sound of his heartbeat steady and soothing in your ear. You've never fallen asleep faster.

-

Note: i hope i could summon him to help me fall asleep as well 😫 m going insane

[save-the-villainous-cat]

“So, are you just going to stare at my pretty face all day, or…?” The villain crossed their arms in front of their chest and rolled with their eyes. It was embarrassing enough, the hero didn’t have to rub it in.

“Is that such a crime?”

The villain let out a humourless huff. Their anger was evident, their frustration obvious.

And the pain, god, sometimes the villain couldn’t even breathe. Getting out of bed was already hard enough but being forced to work under these conditions?

Of course, it could have been worse. As part of their rehabilitation, they didn't need to do much, their work wasn't even that demanding.

But with their injuries, every move seemed to be unbearable.

“Just fuck off.”

“I have some documents to sign for you. My boss insists.” The hero fished a folder out of their bag and, unfortunately, they had indeed more documents. The villain found it quite unbelievable how much they had to sign. Although they knew it wasn't clever not to read over all of the pages carefully, they were too tired to do so.

They didn't really care that much either.

“Or better known as your excuse for visiting me,” the villain joked. Their side started to hurt again, a pain so cruel and prominent that they had to remind themselves to take everything slow.

It was actual hell. Not being able to do anything. Not being able to move freely. Although the doctor had assured them they were healing and doing well, the villain felt everything but fine. It had been over three weeks now and they were still waking up in the middle of the night. Pain robbed their sleep and pain robbed their mobility. They were impatient, they were annoyed.

The interrogation room was very familiar to the villain by now. Every week, they got to meet the hero. Either documents or lectures — whatever topic the hero chose, it was always a long conversation the villain’s body couldn’t manage towards the end.

However, they never said anything. The hero's visits were better than work. They were the best part of the entire week.

“I don’t need excuses to visit you,” the hero said, winking. They pushed the document towards the villain. “Sign here.”

The villain sighed. They didn’t even look at the paper.

“Can you ask them to increase my medication again at least?” the villain asked softly. They took in a deep breath and signed the document on the last page, their pen following their shaking hand's command as quickly as possible.

"I'm sorry, you're already on the highest dose possible."

"Oh." The villain put down the pen and stared at their nemesis. Their nemesis who had captured them. Who had put them in this situation in the first place. They seemed to be recovering just fine. They seemed to be fit and healthy, seemed to be in the prime of their life. Attractive and kind - perfection had carved itself through the hero. "...do you think the people here are honest? The nurses and the doctors, I mean?"

"Some of the best people in the country are working here," the hero said. "That includes medical staff."

"Okay." The villain's voice was quiet. They didn't understand the logistics behind a place like this, they didn't understand anything about the things the hero gave them to sign. "Did you know they're experimenting on me?"

"They take samples from your tissue or blood to look at in the lab. Seriously. You're not in any danger." The hero smiled sweetly and scratched the back of their neck. "I check the reports regularly and I talk to your doctor on a daily basis. It's their priority to help you."

"Why?"

"Well, you're a victim, are you not? We don't know much about the supervillain and their powers, so helping you recover could help us get more information on them. And considering your past, we have to...observe you in a special place like this." The hero leaned over the table to get to the document. Their fingertips touched the villain's knuckles by accident. "That's only one reason, of course. Most importantly, you were beaten to death and needed help."

"It wasn't that bad."

"Half your organs were hanging out of you when I found you," the hero said. Their voice was quieter now, maybe lost in their thoughts even. "I donated a kidney for you."

"You can be so romantic," the villain said. The sarcasm didn't really come across and the villain knew how half-hearted their jokes had become. It wasn't like they weren't grateful, it was just difficult to be saved and have a life when they had accepted their outcome a while ago. That day, they had accepted that they wouldn't survive. They had made their peace with it and then the hero had saved them.

And now, the villain had to live with this horrible pain.

With the nightmares and the fear. They had become a stranger in their own body. It didn't feel like they had control over themselves anymore. Although the hero was right, they couldn't help but feel like a lab rat.

"The point is...you're the only person who has survived them and if they find out you're alive..."

"A facility like this won't hold them back," the villain said. "It would be a minor inconvenience."

"I know, that's why-" the hero held up the document "-you just signed a request for special protection. With me being your caretaker."

Again, that sweet smile spread across their face but the villain didn't really know what that meant. Their poor heart skipped a few beats.

"Are you saying you'll be staying here?" The villain's neck started to heat up. Wasn't this a bit too much? Had they asked for too much? With the medication and the doctors...wasn't this too much effort for the hero to put in?

"I am saying you're coming with me if this gets approved. Which it will."

"Like, to your house?"

"Yes, darling." The hero leaned back in their chair and took in a deep breath. "I've been working on this ever since I found you. I knew the agency wouldn't let you recover in a prison that easily. I argued that you're a victim and a source of information. That brought you here. But still, they made you work in here which I argued to be counterproductive. The law department is pretty annoyed by me."

"I...I'm not sure what to say," the villain said. Their head was reeling. Maybe everything would be a little easier. Maybe waking up would be easier. Were they actually dreaming? They could be out of here soon?

"You don't have to say anything." The hero stood up and walked up to them. Once they were closer to the villain, they sat down on the table, looking down at them. "I just need you to rest."

"You didn't have to do this," the villain said. Their voice was shaking. "You didn't have to save me again."

"I can't help it. By the way, we have matching scars, did you notice that? I can't just leave you in here."

"You suck," the villain said, but there were tears in their eyes. The relief they felt was indescribable. This place was alright. The people were alright. But they weren't the hero. They weren't comforting. With their chair, they moved closer towards them. "You're so horrible."

They leaned their head against the hero's arm, too tired and overwhelmed to hold up the weight of their head anymore. Quickly, the hero went through their hair with their fingers, holding their jaw in their hands and guiding them to lay their head on their lap.

"Oh, honey..." They played with the villain's hair and scratched their scalp softly. Their fingers went over the villain's face, carefully avoiding their bruises. "I promise I will take care of you."

They stayed like this until visiting hours were over.

[untoldstar]

“Welcome back baby!”

yandere boyfriend x gn cheater! reader

MAJOR trigger warnings: murder, explicit scenes and descriptions of murder, explicit descriptions of blood, psychotic character, toxic dynamic, cheating, jealousy, trauma for the reader, yandere themes, obsessive behavior, stalking.

He glares at the wall in front of him is he lets out a puff of smoke, his face breaks into a scowl when a whine comes from underneath him igniting his anger further “You better fucking stay quiet if you don’t wanna piss me off further” he growls, his boot rubbing into the man’s bloodied cheek as he screams. What could only be assumed as a string of curses is muffled by the rag gagging his mouth. Jesse lifts his boot to stomp down on the man’s face, earning a pained scream, he leans down close to the man’s face “You really want me to take my anger out on you don’t you?” he whimpers, shaking his head violently. Jesse only lets out an amused huff and leans back against the couch

Your couch.

With his boot resting on the bloodied face of the man you cheated on him with.

It didn’t take him long to find out you’ve been having an affair. He knows everything about you which is exactly why he isn't only going insane at the fact you've allowed another man touch you but he's also frustrated with himself for not noticing sooner. He keeps an eye on you every second of the day, how had this slipped by him?

It doesn't matter. You did something very bad and you're about to be punished for it, starting with watching the man you've let touch you slowly get slaughtered.

Click.

The corner of his mouth lifts up

You're here.

He hears your footsteps halt when see him sitting in the dimly lit room.

"Jesse?" You haven't noticed the bloody whimpering mess on the floor yet. You slowly make your way around the couch on to stop dead in your tracks slapping your hands over your mouth.

"Hey baby. Welcome back" he grins at you all the while digging his boot harder into the mans face "What the fuck?! What the actual fuck have you done Jesse?" He ignores your clear distress and move his leg aside to bend down and grab the mans chin roughly, lifting his head up so you can see him more clearly "You recognize him?" fuck, of course you recognize him.

"Who's he to you huh?" Your breath shudders as you stare into the madness swirling behind his eyes, they're blood shot and there's dark circles underneath them, his jaw is clenches and his entire body is tense. He's a ticking bomb waiting for the final push to explode.

Your mouth dries and you can feel your heart bashing into your ribcage "He's..my friend." You lie with the calmest tone you can master at the moment and send out a quick silent prayer that he doesn't turn this night into a bloodbath. "BULLSHIT" he shouts bashing the mans head in the floor. You flinch and you feel like crying looking at the injured sobbing man on the floor and in a split second he's up and right in front of you "Don't you fucking dare look at him right now. You look at me only" You don't say anything as you hold his stare "Don't you understand? I know everything about you and one of the many things I know is that you've let this scum touch you." Your hands tremble as you try to stand your ground "You have no idea what you're talking about! Me and him are just friends and yet you have him tied up and bloodied on the floor you're fucking insane!" He steps closer until your chests are flush "I might be but that doesn't make what I'm saying less true." Your eyes gloss over "You have to stop Jesse." He chuckles darkly "You can deny it all you want I'm still gonna kill this asshole." the man on the floor thrashes and screams in protest "Fuck- fine it's true okay? just- just please stop..I'll do anything just don't hurt him." He laughs in disbelief and his eyes look more wilder than anything you've seen "Holy shit you actually care about this guy." he steps back and rolls the man on his back with his foot "This is what took you from me." the man lets out strings of muffled pleas "Jesse please.." he sighs and crouches down taking ahold if the mans jaw shaking his side to side as if inspecting him before roughly letting go. He nods "I want you to watch." your heart sinks "what?" It feels like your ears bleeding at the sharp sound of the knife he pulls out "I want you to keep your eyes on me baby ‘kay? don't take them off of me for one second." He straddles the man and your chest heaves "Jesse please please don't do this." the man looks at you, face red tears covering his entire face as he sobs and screams, he shakes his head and thrashes his body and you want to be swallowed up by the earth.

This can't be happening.

how do you fix this?

"Jesse please-" You're cut off by your own scream when Jesse plunges the knife into the mans chest. The room is filled with your screams and grotesque sounds of blood gurgling and the squelching sounds of the knife being pulled out only to be plunged back in.

Your legs give out and you fall to your knees.

It's your fault.

you cover your face unable to withstand the scene any longer.

He's dead because of you.

you did this.

and you watched as he died.

You don't hear Jesse over your own sobs "-baby" you lift your head to see him in front of you.

There's so much blood.

On the carpet.

Covering Jesse's hands. Streaking his face and clothes.

On the knife he used that's disregarded behind on the floor.

You feel bile rising up.

He cups your face with his bloodied hands staining your skin "Shh shh it's okay it's over now you did good. You watched. I know." He wipes the tears off your face but ends up making more of a mess "I love you baby. So much. Fuck- you have no idea how much"

You do. He killed for his love.

He presses a gentle kiss on your lips “I didn’t mean to get you dirty with his blood. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

[ozzgin]

Hiii💕💕💕 Could you please make some hc with musashi and jun from baki please?

Yet another ancient request, so sorry about it. I've been struggling to think of a context, but as Valentine's Day approached, I thought, "Well, might as well turn this into a special". So here it is. I'm adding two-three extra characters for a bundle. Sorry for the wait. :')

Baki Headcanons: Valentine's Day Special

Featuring Jun Guevaru, Musashi Miyamoto, Baki Hanma, Chiharu Shiba and Pickle. And Reader as their Valentine! (Written according to Western customs for the sake of a pampered Reader)

Jun Guevaru

Jun is a hopeless romantic and might actually enjoy Valentine's Day even more than you do. Mind you, the holiday itself is as superficial as it gets, and you've heard his philosophies one too many times; the enticing part is having an excuse to go all out and proclaim his affections for you in the most extravagant way possible. Can you blame him? He loves to show off. And you, sweet (Y/N), happen to be his most prized possession. A man will always be guilty of following his heart.

Although don't expect some cheap American fabrication that glorifies consumerism. His Valentine's Day isn't about that. Love can't be expressed through chocolate or flowers, at least not in his opinion. It's about raw feelings. The word, the tender caress. You can leave it to him to verbalize such depth. After all, he didn't unite an entire country with sheer luck. He is a charismatic leader and, most importantly, a passionate lover. His poetic speeches and sung praise will leave you entranced.

He, too, may be tempted to use the element of surprise. Perhaps through an overly formal letter expressing his utmost disappointment that he won't be able to see you on this particular date. Prison technicalities, you must understand. Nothing he can do about it. Then, when you least expect it, he'll pull you into a most desperate embrace. Oh, he missed you so much. He'll be ready to serenade you, take you places, whisper sweet nothings. You'll feign shock and surprise; you already guessed he wouldn't miss the chance to spoil you, but you do enjoy going along with his games. "Surely you didn't expect me to leave you alone on such a day, my beloved", he'll reassure you fondly. Allow him to prove himself anew.

Musashi Miyamoto

Musashi does not quite understand all of the particularities such a holiday entails. Nor would he normally care for the mundane customs of the modern world. Yet he has noticed the switch of your tone whenever you mention the approaching date. The sheepish glances towards the mysterious heart-themed merch. For someone as observant as him, your excitement is ridiculously clear, no matter how much you shake your head in denial. If his partner wants it, he might as well entertain it. Why not?

Thus, he will begin his little research. What is it that piques your interest to such a degree? He might employ the other fighters to enlighten him on the matter. An amusing sight, if one considers it: the legendary samurai, pacing back and forth as Tokugawa stumbles to follow behind. "W-what about this?" The old man will humbly suggest. "Oooh, fascinating. Yes, yes." He'll respond, holding his chin thoughtfully. "However, it's not (Y/N)'s style. Next."

Keep in mind that Musashi will tailor everything to fit his nature. Flowers? Maybe. All the other modern knick-knacks? Forget it. He'll do you one better. Something you won't expect, because it's a gift meant for his time and age. After a long, frustrating search, he finds what he's looking for. A most unusual sight, but something that represents him indeed. He will proudly extend to you a small, slender kodachi with his family's name inscribed on the scabbard. What greater honor than to share his love and passion? The weapon has been carefully built to his standards, so you may defend yourself if such a need ever arises. For Musashi himself to curate a sword bearing his name, you might as well count it as a proposal.

Pickle

Lately, Baki has been focused on things beyond Pickle's understanding. The only time he'd seen the young boy so excited was before a match. On the other hand, what kind of opponent would Baki be fighting where bizarre, heart-shaped items are required? After a lot of gesturing, rudimentary explanation and show-and-tell demonstration, it finally clicks: it's a special occasion, not preparations for battle.

An occasion that doesn't involve just Baki and Kozue, but, by the looks of it, anyone with a mate. The idea pumps his heart with excitement. Is it something he could celebrate with his own (Y/N)? In that case, he absolutely wants to be part of it. Pickle demands to be shown the ropes, so he, too, can impress his partner. Not that he's not already showing his love (and ownership) with every opportunity.

And so here you are, standing outside your apartment, utterly baffled, shocked, speechless. Pickle has surprised you many times before with his horny mischief and troublemaker shenanigans, but never in your wildest dreams would you have imagined him showing up with balloons, chocolate and a date itinerary on Valentine's Day. You retrieve the little list from his massive hands - he probably can't even read anything on it - and scan over the text. Someone definitely helped him compile everything. Judging from the varied handwriting, it must've been a group effort from Lord knows how many fighters who enjoyed themselves way too much in aiding Pickle's romancing game. Nonetheless you're impressed, just as the prehistoric man had hoped. He sees your blushing face and immediately grins with pride. Who knows, maybe his efforts will be rewarded handsomely (you won't be walking straight until March).

Baki Hanma

Among the other men, Baki may be the only one to show unironic enthusiasm towards the upcoming holiday. He likes cute things (you included) and there's no shame in it. His focus has been switching between training, fighting in the Arena, and more training. He's looking forward to a little break, especially one that allows him to spend time with you.

He's not secretive about the process, either. He'll show up at your place with a stack of flyers and scribbled notes, asking you to trim down activities with him. Worry not, he has compiled an extensive list of available events for couples, as well as places to visit and general ideas. After all, part of the fun is to plan everything with you. Can you tell he's excited? Kneeling at the table and flipping through the options with a wide grin on his face, you can almost discern a wagging tail materializing behind him.

He could be slightly biased towards activities that allow him to impress you. A Valentine's Day fair, for example, is such a cheesy idea, but he can't resist the temptation to show off. "Beat the high score and win the prize" blinking in flashy colors above one of those boxing arcade machines? Oops! He was trying to hold back, but he ended up dislodging the whole thing from the ground. Sorry, (Y/N), he simply forgets how strong he is, sometimes. Something hard to avoid, given you’re his greatest motivation. Aren’t you proud of your boyfriend? Do praise the poor boy, he’s been itching to receive your affection. It’s been an eternity! Or maybe half an hour, but still.

Chiharu Shiba

Chiharu isn't one to care much for holidays and under regular circumstances he would probably forget about it, too, were it not for the aid of capitalism and heavy commercial propaganda. Therefore, it's hard to ignore the rapidly approaching date given the blaring ads and themed products found on every shelf. Oh, well. He loves spoiling you and he certainly won't miss an opportunity to declare his love in the most cheesy, predictable manner.

He might be a tad cheeky about the entire business. "Valentine's Day? Hmmm..." He'll hum, thoughtfully, feigning mild indifference. It's a difficult task: seeing you cast your eyes down, perhaps a little disappointed, makes him want to smash his own head into the first telephone pole. No one should ever dare to upset you in the slightest - him included! - he thinks, enraged. He struggles to fight the urge. It's for a good cause. Just a few days left. Do forgive him, darling (Y/N).

He'll surprise you in the ways he knows best. Maybe some fresh, heart shaped decals decorating the gas tank of his motorcycle. A flashy, pink tokko-fuku (or uniform jacket) with a particular slogan embroidered on its back. Whatever it is, he'll make sure everyone is aware of his cause. While he might not be the best with words, his actions will be loud and clear. He'll hand you a helmet and gesture for you to hop on the back of his bike. He planned a day-long road trip for the two of you. What's nicer than feeling the wind, the freedom, the warmth of your small arms tightly wrapped around him? He doesn't need overly sophisticated restaurants or whatever else comes with the package. Some great sights and you by his side, and he's the happiest man on this planet. To think someone like him would be privileged enough to gaze at a pretty little thing like you.

[emithecharmer]

Flower Theory

TW: Crying, slight angst, hurt/comfort, kinda short

"Jisungggg?" You called as you knocked softly on the studio door. You heard a soft voice inside that said to come in, so you did so.

"Hey, Ji." You smiled brightly at your boyfriend, who turned to you and gave you a sleepy smile.

"Hi, baby." He cooed before noting that one of your hands was behind your back.

"What's that?" He asked curiously as you closed the door behind you. You blushed slightly and walked over to him, keeping your hand behind you.

"Well..it's actually for you, I noticed that you seemed kinda down lately." He let a small frown break through and you noticed how his posture seemed to deflate a bit.

Jisung saw the beautifully assorted flowers, all bright in color, clustered together in a decently sized bouquet. He hesitated slightly before he reached his hand out to take them from you, he ran his fingers slowly over the petals and smelling them. You took the chance and went behind him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and leaning over him, kissing the side of his neck.

"The purple rose signifies love at first sight, which sums up how I felt when I first met you, and the white means new beginnings, which started when we started our relationship. These flowers are called gladiolus flowers and they signify strength, which you show me everyday." You began explaining your flower theory, which you'd been super into recently.

"But um..if you don't like them, you don't have to accept them, they just reminded me of you." He tilted his head as you finally brought the surprise out from behind you.

"You made this bouquet?" You couldn't see his face, but his tone sounded iffy, making you worried.

"Yeah..it's okay if you don't like it-"

"Y/n.." He sniffled before completing breaking down and sobbing harshly, shaking with every heave.

"Jisung.." You gasped, moving to see his face and leaning down to hug him, making sure to move the flowers before doing so.

"What happened, bub?" You asked, running your fingers through his hair and kissing his wet cheek.

"I just- I'm so frustrated!" He exclaimed.

"I don't know why I'm so down and everyone says that they're worried- but they don't have to be I'm just being weird and- And now you're worried too-"

"Sungie.." You smiled, pulling away slightly and caressed the side of his face, wiping the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"You're not being weird, you don't have to explain yourself, you just focus on you, baby." He sniffled and nodded.

"And yeah, I'll admit, I was a bit worried when I didn't receive a mostly blurry video of you begging Hyunjin for a kiss.." He giggled as you mentioned his behind the scene rendezvous.

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you, I may not understand what you're going through, but that doesn't mean I can't help." He nodded, nuzzling into your collarbone and pulling you head into the crook of his own.

"I'm getting better..just felt..sick..if that makes sense."

"Mhm."

"But, can we stay like this for a little while?"

"As long as you want, Ji."

[sailor-aviator]

Okay, but what if it was Victorian Era!Jake's mother or mother-in-law who laced up his wifey too tight? Just to "teach her a lesson", because she doesn't like wifey being married to Jake or something... And wifey is too stubborn to let the woman know she is in any discomfort, so she doesn't say a word to anyone about it until the event is over and she is all alone with Jake in their own bedroom, far away from the evil woman. And throughout the event she would sometimes grip onto Jake's arm tighter for support, or lean on him more, or ask to stop dancing before the song ends, and she doesn't eat much if at all of the food, even though it's her favourite, so Jake knows something is wrong, but he knows better than to verbally ask her, so he just looks at her with a look only she knows to be concerned (because Jake knows that his wife is a very proud woman, and she would hate for everyone else around her to know/think she is weak, especially her mother/mother-in-law, when the whole point is to prove a point against the woman) and she just squeezes his hand, and gives him a small shake of her head, to let him know she needs his support, but not make it too obvious (it helps that Jake never was one to leave her alone for too long at these events). And so when they are alone in their own room, far, far from everyone else, she finally lets the facade go and she gasps for air, and Jake knows immediately what to do, and he hurriedly takes the corset off, and his wifey is crying from relief when she can finally breathe normally. Jake sees red at the thought of someone doing this to her, but he is still the most gentle ever with his wife as he touches her and holds her and asks her who laced her up, although wifey can hearthe barely restrained rage. And at first she is hesitant to tell him, because she doesn't want to hurt him by revealing that either of their mothers doesn't approve, so it takes Jake listing off the potential suspects for her to burst out "no, it was my/your mother!". And she is crying and he is shocked, but only for a second, because then it makes perfect sense, and finally he understands why the woman looked so displeased the whole evening - because wifey held herself together and her plan didn't work. Needless to say, Jake pampers wifey the whole night and morning , and will never let anyone else lace her up, other than himself.

First of all, I love that we're writing novel length asks for this concept lmaooooooo

So, one thing that's very interesting about the corsets that a lot of people don't realize is that they were not meant to be tight. Corsets were meant to be support items like bras. You had to be able to move around in them and do things, so it wouldn't make sense for them to be suffocating or restrictive. I know we all want the Pirate's of the Caribbean scene where she feints, but my loves, that's just not realistic, and if you've been following me for a while, you'll know that I try to be as realistic with my historical AUs as possible.

Now, with that being said, I could see someone tying reader's corset waaaayyyyy too tight just to be vindictive!

And you're right. Jake would be absolutely livid once he finds out. He'd be so gentle with reader, stroking his hands up down your sides in a bid to soothe you as you catch your breath. He'd kiss the frustrated tears away, urging you to lay back as he strokes your hair and whispers those sweet nothings. He'd gather you up in his arms and just let you cry out the frustrations.

Now, I imagine that it would actually be Reader's mother who did this. I picture her as very controlling, wanting everything to be just so in the name of the family's honor. I'm not sure if she approves of Jake, but does know that he's from a very well-to-do and respected family, so maybe she's upset because Reader told her no about something. Mother knows best, after all, so how dare her daughter tell her no!

I think the next time Reader's mother is over, he'd do something very subtle to embarrass her publicly for the stunt she pulled with his wife. She won't soon try something like THAT again.

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 4

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Word Count: ~2000. I think this is my longest chapter.

Warnings: Bullying, Fat shaming, Insecure reader, Violence mentioned and referenced but not written. Please let me know if I missed any!

Series Masterlist

Part 3 -- Part 5

It figured. You had an interview in an hour and now Curtis had time to talk to you. You could probably catch a cab and still arrive on time, so long as you kept this conversation short.

As soon as he walked into the cyber cafe (your second home at this point) you stood up and got his attention. He looked a little surprised to see you standing but you remembered every time he's seen you so far it was in a hospital bed. It's been a few weeks and your leg was still stiff but you were diligent in your physical therapy and healing well.

He walked over to you, accompanied by someone you didn't recognize. As soon as he got close enough you directed him to the office in the back, "Jefferson gave me permission to use his office for this discussion." Curtis nodded and the three of you went into the room, closing the door behind you.

"Hello," you reach a hand towards the stranger, "I'm Y/N. I don't think we've been introduced."

"Mace," he shakes your hand with a smile. "We've never met but I have heard a lot about you."

"It's nice to meet you," you return the smile. Looking at Curtis you continue, "we need to talk about either my schedule or Hal's, Sir."

Curtis gestures to the chairs and you all take a seat.

You start, "I understand that there are a lot of things you can't account for in your scheduling but Hal has had to cancel every session I've tried to have with him. And if I'm not tutoring, I'm not getting paid."

"We can put you on retainer," Curtis started.

You interrupted him with a scoff. "I'm not getting paid to do nothing, Sir. What's more, this is hurting Hal. He wants to learn but your chaotic scheduling is preventing that. Do you know how discouraging that can be? To finally have a resource but never be allowed to use it?"

Curtis sighs and looks at Mace, "do you think we can figure out a consistent time?"

"It'll take some work," he replies. "And, as the lady points out, there are things we can't plan for. But it should be possible."

Curtis looks at you, questioningly and you nod your head, "thank you both. This has been very frustrating for me and Hal so I really appreciate it."

"Eh," Mace replies, "what's a little more work?"

"Well I don't mean to cut into your time off with this, Sirs," your tone apologetic.

"We don't do time off," Curtis cuts in.

"What? Why not," you demand. "Time off is important for physical and mental health."

"We have to show our people that we're not asking them to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves," Curtis replied calmly.

"That's bullshit," you exclaim. "No wonder everyone's schedules are so hectic! You're all too exhausted and worn out to think straight!"

"We've been doing this for years," Curtis angrily interjects. "It's clearly been working."

"If you, Hal and Jake are any indication it's only working because of an ungodly amount of caffeine and luck," you retort. "You either need to get some more people or start scheduling R&R for you and your employees, Sir."

You're so focused on Curtis that you don't see Mace smiling, clearly trying not to laugh. Curtis's eyes soften a bit and he nods in concession.

"Thank you." You check your watch, "now if you'll excuse me, I have an interview to get to."

"What?" Curtis looked shocked. You almost think you saw some hurt in his eyes.

"My work for you will always get highest priority, Sir," you assure. "But it's very part-time work, that you’ve been unintentionally sabotaging and keeping very part-time. And that overly generous back pay won't last forever. So I'm looking at getting another income."

"Do you need a ride to the interview," Mace offers.

"No, but thank you," you reply. "The Wilford & Gilliam Trust building isn't too far and I can afford a cab."

Both men froze at your words as you got up and tried to leave. Curtis quickly blocked your access to the door and nearly growled, "you're not going to that interview."

"Excuse you?" Your eyes widen in surprise. "I've already told you that my work for you will get top priority and that I need the income, Sir. Now please move. I don't want to be late."

"You're not working for Wilford & Gilliam," Curtis barked. "You need another income? Fine. I'll find you another job. But you're not working for them."

"It's just a part-time, data entry kind of job," you retort. "And it's consistent, reliable work."

"They're horrible people who fund even worse people," Curtis scowled. "I know you like your data to back up these kinds of things but I can't tell you how I know."

You scan Curtis's face, take aback at the intensity of his conviction. There is no room for doubt that he believes in what he's saying. "Okay, Sir," you concede. "You've yet to do wrong by me so I'll trust you. I will still look for a second job, in case you can't find me one, but it will not be with them."

Satisfied with your answer Curtis let's you leave. As soon as you're out the office door he sees the grin on Mace's face. He gives him a questioning look but before Mace can say anything they hear you exclaim, "Mr. Drysdale?!"

Both men rush out to the main cafe and see Ransom looking uncharacteristically repentant.

"Y/N," Ransom gulped, "come back to work for me. Please."

"No," you responded before trying to walk around him.

Ransom blocks your path, "please! I...I made a mistake and I would like to make it up to you."

"No," you repeat, patience wearing thin.

"I'll double your pay, please!"

"Hire someone else!"

"I'VE TRIED," he shouts. "Their work doesn't get me through writer's block like yours did. Their research is all dry facts that are hard to absorb. You wrote in such a way that it was easy for me to figure out how to write it into the story. So PLEASE come back to work for me!"

"Do you know why I requested remote work, Mr. Drysdale?" He shakes his head, not used to the iciness in your voice. "I heard you complaining about me to your grandfather, the one who made you hire me. You never had a problem with my work but you still insisted he let you fire me so you could get a pretty assistant. One who was, to use your words, preferably fresh out of college. Because how could you be expected to write when you had to look at ugly, fat ass instead of a beautiful muse?"

Ransom at least had the decency to look ashamed but you didn't relent.

"So I worked remotely, making sure you wouldn't have to see me and I wouldn't have to put up with your looks of disgust. And then, when I got hurt, you cut me loose. So, no, Mr. Drysdale, I will not be working for you ever again. I prefer a reliable employer who appreciates my work."

You try to walk past him but he puts an arm out to stop you. Before you can react to the arm, Curtis has pulled Ransom away, gripping him by the front of his sweater. You don't want to cry in front of everyone so you keep walking, set on going home.

As soon as you're out the door Curtis snarls, "you do not treat any of my employees like that." Before Ransom can reply Curtis punches him in the face and he falls to the floor. Curtis glances at Mace who responds with a nod, promising he'll see to the witnesses, before he lets himself run after you.

Thankfully it was an off time of day and the sidewalks were mostly empty. He spotted you right away and quickly went after you. He caught up to you but the tears in your eyes made him stop in his tracks. 

“Y/N,” he asked. “You gonna be okay?”

“Eventually, Sir,” you reply, still walking. “He’s not the first asshole I’ve had to deal with and he won’t be the last.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I should’ve stepped in sooner.”

“I’m glad you didn’t, actually. He needs to know I’m serious and that I’m strong enough to not need him. If you had stepped in before I was done talking, he’d think he could still get to me by going around you. This way I got to be the one shutting him out, giving him no room to think he could worm around.”

“That’s fair. I was incredibly impressed with how you handled him.”

“Like I said, not the first asshole to put my looks ahead of my worth.”

“Your prettiness is definitely a bonus to your good work,” he says before he can stop himself.

You stop and look at him, an angry expression and fresh tears on your face. “Don’t, Sir. Just don’t. I’m not interested in your pity.”

“I’m not…” Curtis stops himself. He’s clearly not saying the right things and doesn’t want to hurt you further. “I’m sorry.”

You nod and continue the trek to your apartment. He silently accompanies you. You’re hurt and he can’t fix it. If anything, he’d likely just make it worse. He never wanted to see tears in your eyes but being the cause of a fresh wave of them made him hurt in ways he never knew he could. 

“This is my building, Sir,” you interrupt his thoughts. “Thank you for walking me home and making sure I’m okay.” He nods, still afraid to say or do anything else, and you walk into your building, leaving him on the sidewalk. Part of him wants to follow after but he’s not sure he’d be able to actually do anything. Best if he just gets lost in his work. That’s always helped him before.

As he turns to walk back to the cybercafe, he sees Mace in their work van, parked on the curb. He moves into the passenger seat and sighs. As Mace drives away, Curtis says, “okay, we’ve gotta rework a few schedules.”

Mace chuckles, “if I’d known all it would take to get you to relent was a pretty face with a fiery spirit-”

“Don’t,” Curtis interrupts. 

“I’m just saying,” Mace bantered. “I’ve been telling you for a long while now that we need to give the guys a better work environment or they’ll burnout and make stupid mistakes. She makes one comment about how it affects her and you’re singing a different tune.”

“That’s not what happened.”

“I was there, Curtis. I saw it all happen.”

Curtis remained silent.

“I can’t say I blame you, though. She’s got some serious-”

“ENOUGH,” Curtis ordered. “Let’s just get to thinking about some more work for her.”

Mace took a calculating look at Curtis, “how about we have work with Colin and Mickey? They could use someone responsible to act as their manager. We could get better info from their VIP section if at least one person was sober. And you know they’d make her feel…appreciated.”

“No,” Curtis barked. “They’re idiots who would get her in trouble. I also don’t want her anywhere near the drug monitoring operations. If one of Rumlow’s goons pushes something on her…”

“Okay,” Mace interrupted. “How about Lee or Barber? She’d be pretty safe with them.”

“No. She’s too curious. Lee and Barber have information about us and I don’t want her to go snooping and suddenly be liable for our mistakes.”

“You’re intent on keeping her in the dark? She’s clearly smart enough to know there’s more to all of what we do.”

“But she has no specifics. No details. She can still claim ignorance and that’s how I want it.”

“Not sure how plausible an idea that’s gonna be. Especially when you two start dating.” Mace smiles a little when he hears Curtis’s warning grunt. 

“That’s not going to happen,” Curtis vows. “We’ll figure out something.”

“Whatever you say, Boss.”

Part 3 -- Part 5

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

One lowkey thing that kinda drives me insane about Taylor Swift is discussion about her music. I don't know how to explain this properly but... (sorry for the long ask)

She's not an excellent singer. She's fine, but as a good example from her own discography: look at Florida feat. Florence. Florence singing her verse made me wake up in that album and made me realize how the song could've been delivered! She sings it in a much more interesting way than Taylor did. This isn't even to speak towards other popular artists like Beyonce, Ariana, Lana, Olivia, Billie, etc. who all have their own signature vocal styles and delivery that are impressive and make their songs.

I don't know. It feels bizarre to have one of the biggest pop artists in the world to have such mediocre vocals. TTPD as an album I feel partly got killed because of the way she's so samey about her vocal delivery.

But her fans would say no it's not about the vocals, it's the songwriting. But then TTPD songwriting was meh and just awful at some parts (the 1800s racist line is weird. period. I don't care whatever essay defense they give it). What now? What's the appeal? Why does she get to release something mediocre and get all the attention and praise when some artists have released great albums this year?

Then there's also when she gets the weirdest praise for the mildest things that other musicians have done. Album eras? "Oh, she's so cool and different for that!" No, she didn't invent them, shut up. An album of fictional songs with a story? They act as if concept albums don't exist! The most minor of genre shifts (she's primarily exploring different types of pop) are treated as experimental and groundbreaking. The most milquetoast and shallow political music she ever wrote (YNTCD and The Man) are seen as iconic moments of speaking out. Like what?

It's just frustrating me. I remember when someone told me she screamed in some songs in TTPD (Who's Afraid of Little Old Me and The Black Dog iirc) and I listened to that album and I thought they were joking with me because what do you mean scream??? Why does she get praised for so much mediocrity holy shit!

I think this is why when I hear people say that there's swifties that only mainly listen to Taylor and Taylor-adjacent artists, I believe them. I feel like they're making so many impressed remarks about her work because that's all they know. That's how we get genre takes like someone saying Rep is punk or how they want her to make a rock album. I feel like that's how we get stupid stuff like Gaylors too. Because why listen to actually out queer artists if you can just reimagine your fave artist as queer?

Honestly, I just don't understand the attachment to her music? Every time someone tells me it's because she's relatable, I just shake my head because she's never been relatable to me, even back when I enjoyed her songs. Maybe I'm too un-USAmerican for this, but she was never very universal for me. I enjoyed her because she did fun pop songs. But now I've realized she's so frustratingly shitty as a person, I can't listen to her.

Sorry for the rant, but it's been hard to find a space for this without getting attacked by swifties (especially as a poc).

(1/2)

[lalal-99]

of the big city {h.j.} | track 2

©March 2023, February 2024 by lalal-99

Han Jisung x afab!reader | trope: slice of life, coming of age | word count: 6.9k

Synopsis: The one where uni starts and you meet some interesting people.

Check Chapter Overview for complete list of warnings

Note: The next chapters are gonna be much shorter, I promise. The overwork is going smoothly so far, I have the next chapter ready and will probably post beginning of next week. I also wrote two whole new chapters this week which I'm very proud of. I really hope I can finish this story this time around :)

Tumblr works on a reblog system. Please consider reblogging this post so that it can reach more people. Thank you :)

Please don't flag as mature or repost this story - Thank You!

“Baby? Do you have some paper for me?”

With an annoyed eye roll you ripped a page from your new notebook, smoothing over the edges of the torn binder. You pushed the single page over towards him with reluctance.

“You forgot your notebook on the first day already?”

And to think notebooks and pens were the main reason you had gone to the store yesterday.

“Don’t blame me. You know I’m not a morning person. And you didn’t want to wake me up with sex, so...” The smugness in his voice made you wonder if he actually thought he had won this discussion. You raised your eyebrows at him, hinting at the thinness the metaphorical ice on which he was walking.

You usually didn’t get annoyed that easy. If you had, your relationship sure as hell wouldn’t have lasted this long. The reason: Jisung and his lack of understanding social cues. To take the hint and not bother you any further when you were already frustrated, all it took was a look.

Although he wasn’t the reason for your irritation today. Or at least not the sole one.

It was the first day of university, so naturally, you were a little on edge. Whatever happened from this day on would decide over the paths your life took in the future. It was a step you had waited so long to take but dreaded all the same. Jisung, as your loving boyfriend, should have known how much this meant to you.

Sometimes, you speculated if he did it on purpose. Rile you up when you were anxious to give you something to put your focus on instead. His intentions might have been sweet, but this wasn’t taking any tension off your shoulders. Jisung forgetting his notebook and blaming you for it, even as a joke, could have likely been the last straw.

“Baby?” As you looked back at him, you noticed his cute pout. It was almost cute enough to make you forget what you had been so annoyed about a minute earlier. “Do you also have a spare pen? And some highlighters would be nice, too.”

Shaking your head at Jisung, you let out a snort. So he hadn’t forgotten just his notebook, but his pen and highlighter too? Got it. Very unwillingly, you handed him the items. You thankfully always had a spear set in case of emergency. Or, in this case, your boyfriend’s scatterbrain you had been dealing with for many years already.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He blew you a playful kiss, thanking you for your service. “Don’t let this become a habit. I’m not piggybacking you through university as I did in High School. Understood?”

As much as you loved him, Jisung had his fair share of annoyances. Like his living-in-the-moment type of attitude. A contrast to your thoroughly organised persona, you usually appreciated your differences. Without his Yin, your Yang wouldn’t shine as bright and vice versa.

That still didn’t change that you wouldn’t be his personal secretary this time around.

Jisung was old enough to care for himself and not rely on his girlfriend for every one of his needs. Whether it was some paper and pens, your skillfully crafted cue cards, or an all-nighter before one of his final exams. How ever you had talked him into studying for that one anyways.

“I love you, too.”

If he only weren’t so damn cute.

Out of pure principle you ignored his comment with an unintentional snicker. You continued your draft outline on your first notebook page—your attempt of getting a head start on future lecture notes—thus almost missing the voice chatting up Jisung.

“I’m taking you won’t be sleeping in the dorm a lot, will you?”

The depth of the second voice made you look up from your notebook. As the light shone into the room from behind the boy, it almost blinded you. Once your eyes got used to the brightness, you could finally make out a lean figure. He set a reusable coffee cup on the desk next to Jisung before sliding onto the wooden chair.

The boy was clad in comfortable attire, loose hanging jeans paired with a simple t-shirt. His long, blonde hair messily framed his face, a green beanie rounding off his skater-boy look. Something told you he had more to himself than what his cover showed. The several silver rings on his fingers could have been the reason for your suspicion. Or it was how he carried himself—a perfect line leading from his soles to the tip of his head. In exact contradiction to your boyfriend’s slouching posture.

“Morning to you too, sunshine.” The smirk in Jisung’s tone indicated his playfulness and a sense of closeness. “Why do you care? You’re not in love with me, are you?”

“No,” the boy scoffed, his bag placed neatly under the table. “I just wondered if I can stop waiting up for you or if I will have to identify your corpse at some point.”

Looking past Jisung, the boy noticed your presence, sending you a heart-warming smile. The freckles all over his nose and cheeks juxtaposed the darkness of his voice and over-all looks. Something about his aura relaxed you, his company drenching his atmosphere in happiness.

“Hi, I’m Felix!”

“I’m Y/N. I’m Jisung’s-”

“Girlfriend. Yeah, I know. He talks about you a lot.”

Jisung leaned in closer to you, though he kept his voice at the same volume, “Be careful, baby. He’s very much in love with me already. I might leave you for him.”

“You can have him.” You leaned past your boyfriend, directly addressing Felix. “But make sure to always have a spare pen and paper. And also a spare pair of pants.” The scene from earlier this morning came back to mind, a teasing look creeping onto your face. “He might say he can care for himself, but he will wear your leggings and pink baby-girl crop top when there’s no alternative.”

“Good to know,” Felix replied with a deep chuckle, amused by the picture you had painted. He ran his hands through his blonde hair, showing off his ears and all the piercings. Okay, so, definitely not a skater-boy-type.

“You might be joking now.” Jisung threw a know-all look in your direction. “But you won’t be laughing when I wear your fishnets to your grandpa’s next birthday.”

“Don’t you dare put on my fishnets! They were expensive.”

“That’s alright. We’re about the same size, so he can wear mine.” Felix’s words came unexpected and not even Jisung couldn’t conceal his amusement.

“Great, there’s two of you now. Is it too late to drop out?”

In all the years you had known him, Jisung rarely ever made friends this easy. Not even a week on campus, and he had gotten close enough to Felix to joke in his usual manner. How they had even gotten this close when Jisung had spent most of the day at your place was a mystery to you. Still, the little time they had spent together was enough to have discovered a mutual hobby—catching Pokémon. As they argued over who had found the rarest creature, you picked up your previous task. Though that didn’t stop your joy in finding that Jisung had made a friend. And a nice one at that.

You felt guilty for even thinking it, but Jisung had never been particularly good at making friends. Not before meeting you and not afterwards either.

Most of all, you blamed the lack of a ‘do not say’-filter in his conversational skills. His openness posed an obstacle to making new acquaintances—or at least it had many times before. After years of getting side-eyed or complained about, he had stopped talking to new people all together. Like he already expected the sole attempt to make connection to backfire. The few relationships he had formed despite his shyness had been pure luck. And your very own relationship only existed due to your perseverance.

That Jisung had already befriended Felix, at least as much as possible in three days, put you in a bright mood. One of your biggest fears about moving was your boyfriend rooming with someone he didn’t get along with. With someone as talkative and easily compatible as Felix, Jisung would likely not be clinging to you as much. Which wouldn’t have been the worst scenario, but still.

With every passing minute the lecture hall filled more. When something sharp scratched your shin, your head finally snapped towards one of the new-comers. A blonde girl had sat down next to you, and you found the culprit when you noticed her pink heels.

“Oh my God. Did I hit you? I’m so sorry.” Her hand came to her mouth in shock as she apologised a couple of times. You rubbed over the sensitive skin which was already bruising from when you had hit that crate of boxes yesterday. Talk about unfortunate accidents. You pushed the urge to groan at the pain down, forcing a smile onto your face instead. “It’s those dang heels. I knew I should have worn the sneakers today.”

“It’s fine. Surprised me, that’s all.” Embarrassment reached over her cheeks to her ears, a frown painting her face. “No worries.”

For a few seconds she hesitated but finally accepted your willingness to let it go. Out of the corner of your eye, you followed her as she unloaded the contents of her purse. She pulled out a torn notepad and a vintage-leather pencil case, which must have seen better days. She reached back into her designer bag, face distraught as her search came up empty.

She tried grabbing the attention of two boys on her right side, tied deep into their conversation. When she eventually realised she had no other option, her gaze tiptoed towards you. “Sorry to bother you again.” Teeth nibbling at her lip, she forced herself to get over her embarrassing mistake seconds earlier. “Do you have a pen I can borrow?”

Even if your shin had hurt worse, you would have still helped her out. With a genuine smile, you nodded, searching your pencil case and then your bag.

“I wanted to grab one before leaving my room, but I noticed a stain on my shirt and needed to change it. So, I forgot about the pen,” the girl recounted her morning ventures. “I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not bothering me,” you assured her. Your smile turned to an apologetic scowl once you realised you couldn’t help her out after all. “I’m sorry. I always carry at least one extra pen, but scatterbrain next to me left his head in bed this morning.”

“You talking ‘bout me?”

Jisung, who you hadn’t expected to react to the mention of his unflattering nickname, turned to you.

“Hey, Felix,” you called the boy two seats from yours, ignoring your boyfriend. “Do you happen to have a spare pen?”

“Sure. I always carry an extra one in case.”

“Interesting. So, some people do use their heads before leaving the house.” It was a reproachful remark addressed to Jisung and his forgetfulness, and he caught the meaning.

“Some people do use their heads before leaving the house,” he scrunched his nose, teasing you by mimicking your voice and repeating your previous words as you snickered. Your perfect boyfriend, everyone.

Felix handed the pen from his jacket past you, the girl accepting it with a thankful smile.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“I usually go by Felix. But lifesaver is good, too.”

The girl giggled, before introducing herself, “I’m Yuqi. I live in the student housing off campus. You know, the ones next to that coffee shop with the green doors. It’s open 24/7. Genius marketing move, right?” Biting her lip after that info dump, you noticed her nose doing a little scrunch. “Sorry. I talk a lot.”

“I haven’t noticed,” Jisung joked, your elbow gracing his rib at his sarcasm. You wondered if there would ever come a day you didn’t have to act as his personalised filter.

“Don’t listen to the idiot next to me,” you declared, “I find it charming.”

“Me, too,” Felix agreed, and Yuqi relaxed. It told you that she usually didn’t get that reaction when spraying words like a waterfall.

“I live in the same building.”

Excitement took over her features. “What? No way! Which room?”

“B4.”

Yuqi shrieked, her hand touching your arm, “I’m B12! That makes us floormates.”

“I guess it does.” Yuqi was the first person you met who lived in the same building that wasn’t your roommate or her girlfriend. “I’m Y/N. And this,” you thumbed back at your boyfriend, “this is Jisung.”

“Hi,” he greeted her with an awkward wave.

“Nice to meet you all.”

With that, Yuqi picked up her purse, pulling out an old folder. Well, it appeared to be rather new, but the edges were already torn, some of the plastic cover coming off the corners. The latter especially gave you an ick, and you forcefully pushed down the urge to smooth over them. You could handle some chaos, even if this was a lot.

Good thing, Yuqi spoke up again, giving something different to concentrate on.

“What’s your major?”

“I’m doing Business Admin.” Before you could return the question, Yuqi already reacted, hand touching your biceps in excitement.

“No freakin’ way! I’m in Marketing.” The delight in her voice was addictive as you couldn’t help a grin pulling on your lips. “See, I even wore the perfect outfit for our first lecture later today.”

Yuqi leaned back, giving you a better look at her clothing.

She was in a pair of white jeans, a rosé-coloured blouse adorning the upper half of her lean figure. A single, thin gold necklace decorated her neckline, fitting the two golden earrings. The one thing that stood out in that well-rounded outfit was her other earrings. About a dozen of them decorated both ears from the dainty top to the slim bottom. To round the fit off, she wore a pair of light-pink high heels. The very same that had already made acquaintance with your shin.

“Pretty, right?”

“Very girlboss,” you agreed in earnest. Your own clothes contrasted her colourful optics, made up of mostly black items.

“I’m so glad I’m not the only girl in the classes.” There was a hint of playful disgust in her statement, making you chuckle. “All the other people I met who are in Business were boys. Not that boys are bad or anything. I love boys. But they can be—a lot.”

“I get it. I lived with three boys back home. Well, technically, my dad is a man,” you air-quoted, “but where’s the difference, right?” Yuqi chuckled. “It’s nice to have a girl around every once in a while.”

Yuqi reached for her coffee cup as her gaze wandered to the grey haired middle-aged man who entered the room. He walked up to the desk at the end of the hall, his briefcase landing on the table with a loud thud.

With that, you straightened up, pen in hand and ready to take notes the second your prof opened his mouth.

05:23 PM: Hey, are you studying in the dorm tonight?—Y/N 05:25 PM: No. The place is all yours :)—Hwasa 05:25 PM: Is lover boy coming over again ;)—Hwasa 05:26 PM: He’s hanging out with his roommate tonight... Bonding. I’m thinking about inviting a friend over. I met her at orientation earlier this week—Y/N 05:27 PM: Sounds fun—Hwasa 05:27 PM: Anything special planned?—Hwasa 05:27 PM: Not yet. Maybe eat something and a movie? Explore the city?—Y/N 05:28 PM: You wanna explore this bar Joey’s? I’m meeting some friends there later. Happy Hour starts at 8—Hwasa 05:29 PM: You sure? I wouldn’t want to intrude—Y/N 05:29 PM: I told you I’d be taking you out one of these days—Hwasa 05:30 PM: Texting you the address right now!—Hwasa

Stepping through the dark wooden doors, a wall of warmth hit you like a thick blanket.

It had gotten colder the past few days, fall beginning to hit the city. You took off your scarf, looking around the place in search of the familiar, pretty face.

This place seemed to be the city’s hotspot, every table packed to full capacity. Red velveteen clad the round tables right by the entrance, the seating options becoming wider once you reached the back. Couches fanned out in random patterns all over the dark oak floor. The furniture’s vintage finish further accented the brown parquet.

You felt like you had stepped straight into a movie scene.

The wave of a dainty hand over the crowd’s heads caught your attention as you spotted your roommate in the back. You grabbed Yuqi by the hem of her sleeve, dragging her behind you as you made your way to the group of girls with a smile.

“Hello,” you greeted the table once you had gotten close enough for them to see you.

Hwasa hugged you in bliss, almost tipping over the drink in front of her, “Hi! I’m so glad you could make it.” As she noticed Yuqi, she pulled her in for another warm embrace, “Nice to meet you! I’m Hwasa.”

“Yuqi,” your friend replied, joy written on her face at the enthusiastic welcome.

Knowing Hwasa and her usual calm persona, you knew she must have already taken full advantage of Happy Hour.

“Nice to meet you.” You introduced yourself to the two unfamiliar faces, sending Wheein a quick nod as she met it with a smile.

The two girls with your roommate and her girlfriend couldn’t have been much older than them. The first had straight black hair reaching the bottom of her back, at least from what you could tell. The other sported a short grey bob. It highlighted her sharp jaw in what you could only describe as a tomboy-ish look. Like Wheein and Hwasa, they were beautiful and made you somewhat self-conscious. You shouldn’t have come here unprepared, or put on mascara, at least.

First to introduce herself was the black-haired girl, her smile almost blinding you. “Hi, I’m Solar.”

An extraordinary name for an extraordinary beautiful person. Fitting. In your mind, there was no doubt she made people of any gender fall in love with her the moment she stepped into a room. Her calm, almost carefree aura was truly something else.

“And I’m Byul.” She was just as pretty, though in a less traditional sense. A boyish charm surrounded her, though her blazer hinted at a seriousness to her person. She looked—important.

You introduced yourself and Yuqi, pulling out the two remaining chairs. They must have fought off several people to reserve these. “Are you students, too?”

“We used to be,” Solar explained as she emptied her tulip-coloured drink.

The girls seemed to have stocked up on various drinks; more glasses than people were at the table. If the drinks were half as good as they looked, you’d be in for a long night.

“We graduated last year,” the black-haired beauty continued, bumping shoulders with Hwasa. “I used to be Hwasa’s roommate, actually.”

“I didn’t even notice!” Hwasa giggled, thus proving your assumption about the amount of alcohol consumed before your arrival. “She’s my ex, and you’re my next.”

You chuckled in amusement, reaching for the menu at the edge of the table. The faux leather was soft beneath your fingertips as you skimmed over the Happy Hour options. When your eyes landed on your favourite drink, a smile spread on your lips as you handed the menu over to Yuqi.

“They have Long Island Ice Tea in three different flavours?” Yuqi exclaimed, the scenic buzz of this place rubbing off on her. Not that she wasn’t this emotional about almost anything. “Would it be very immature to try them all tonight?”

“Not at all. I am browsing through the new offers myself. We can get drunk together.”

Not a fair fight. Hwasa had already gotten a head start.

You called over the waiter by raising your hand, and he headed for your table not a minute later. He raised an unintentional eyebrow at the consumption level—One Mojito, three Long Island Ice Teas and another Piña Colada and Gin Tonic. Even so, the boy sent you a smile, spinning around and wandering back to the bar.

Once he was gone, Hwasa swiftly emptied her previous drink. All it took was one strong sip through her straw, and the Tonic and ice was gone. The coldness reached her brain soon after, prompting her eyes to grow wider—like those of a comic-book figure.

“Babe, you should slow down,” Wheein suggested with a chuckle. But her girlfriend waved her off.

“I’m fine. Also, I don’t have any courses tomorrow, so I have the whole day to sleep off that hangover I’ll be having.”

“Great. I’ll remind you when you’re hugging the toilet seat later.”

“I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Mhm.” Wheein didn’t seem uber-convinced Hwasa would keep her promise but let it go anyways.

As the girls went back to their previous conversation, you tried your best to follow them.

You understood that Solar was passed over for a big promotion at her job and that she was convinced, her boss was sleeping with her opponent.

“What do you do for work?” Yuqi’s question took the words right out of your mouth.

“I am an assistant buyer at a small fashion label,” Solar explained, making you look at Hwasa in surprise.

“Don’t you also study fashion?” Taking a sip from her already empty glass, she nodded in silence. You frowned when you noticed her uncomfortable look at Wheein following your words. There must have been some form of backstory, and the last thing you wanted was to make things awkward. Instead you attempted correcting your mistake. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

Passing a few glances around the table, Byul finally spoke up. “Our cutie Hwasa here used to study Chemistry full-time. She developed a small crush on Solar in her second year, so, she changed majors to spend more time with her.”

It took a moment to dawn on you why Wheein and Hwasa had reacted the way they did.

“Yes, but I hadn’t met my love then.” Hwasa bobbed her girlfriend’s nose, pouting to cheer her up. After a few seconds, Wheein couldn’t stop her frown from turning into a giggle. They were just the cutest.

“You’re a little drunk, aren’t you?”

“Drunk of love!”

“I stand corrected. You’re absolutely hammered.”

Playfully nudging her girlfriend, Wheein relaxed, emptying her own drink. Non-alcoholic, from what you had gathered.

“Anyways, since Solar is into boys only—”

“Men,” Solar interrupted her friend with a sigh. “I stopped dating boys a long time ago. They never know where to put things.”

“Sorry, since Solar is into men only,” Byul corrected, her eyes meeting yours again, “that didn’t work out. Now Hwasa is stuck with fashion. She met Wheein not too long after.”

“That’s right!”

The enthusiasm in her reaction made Hwasa finally tip over her glass. The melted ice cubes went all over the table, the cool liquid running down the sides. Some of it landed on your jeans, so while Hwasa apologised profusely, you called over the waiter a second time in five minutes.

A moment later, the young man rushed over with your drinks, handing you a towel to dry yourself. It didn’t go by you that his gaze focused on you for a few extra beats, but you ignored it. Your returned the now moist towel with kindness and he left with a light blush.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t notice that.” Solar’s caught your attention by the touch of her hand as she nodded towards the waiter.

“Notice what?”

“That the waiter was flirting with you,” she explained, looking around the table. “You noticed too, didn’t you?”

Byul agreed, “Sure did.”

“You’re not one of those girls who are, like, super slow on cues, right?” You chuckled at her question, shaking your head.

“No, I noticed, too.”

The confusion on the beauty’s face made you chuckle a little. “So what, then? He’s cute. Get his number.”

“Nah, I’m good.” You waived her off, taking a sip from your fresh drink. The rum burned down your throat, the lime juice and sugar adding a bittersweet taste to it. “Also, I don’t think my boyfriend would be particularly happy with me asking other men for their number.”

If everyone’s focus hadn’t been on you already, it sure was now.

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Very much so, yes.”

Solar seemed surprised by the information.

“Is it serious? I mean, you obviously shouldn’t cheat on him. But you are at university. If you don’t explore and get to know yourself now, when will you get another chance?”

You took another sip to ease the discomfort from being the center of attention. Not exactly where you usually were. “We’ve been together for five years. I’d say that’s pretty serious.” That did the trick, her mouth now agape in shock. She leaned in closer to you, cradling her chin in her palm.

“Five years? So, you’re High School Sweet Hearts?”

“Middle School, actually.”

“Is he any hot?” Yuqi interrupted, also leaning in further. How your relationship had become the talk of the whole table had gone right by you.

“What do you mean? You met him at orientation. He sat right next to me.”

“No way! That’s your boyfriend?” You hummed, agreeing. “But you called him dumbass like 5 times in one hour.”

“I did, but it’s more a term of endearment. I call Jisung dumbass; he calls me stupid. It’s a whole thing.”

As soon as you had cleared that up, Solar was back at it, hitting you with question after question.

“Wait, but like, for real. You’ve never been with anyone else since Middle School?”

You shook your head, correcting her statement. “I’ve never been with anyone else ever.”

Usually, you never talked about yourself and your relationship this much. You were rather private in that sense, though, you also understood their curiosity. It wasn’t every day that you met someone who had been with the same person since they were 14. You understood the length of your relationship was uncommon for someone your age.

“So, he’s your first boyfriend?”

“Yup.”

“So, you never kissed anyone else? Had sex with anyone else?” Byul further interrogated, now also fully invested in your love life. That you had only met the girls maybe 20 minutes ago seemed irrelevant. Not like you hadn’t seen that question coming sooner or later.

You agreed with a nod. “I never wanted anyone else.”

“How do you even maintain a relationship for that long?” Yuqi budded in again, her focus different from the older women’s. “My longest relationship lasted 4 months, and then I got tired of him.” For some reason, her statement made so much sense to you. Yuqi definitely needed constant excitement to fill her heart. “What’s your secret.”

You thought about it before answering shortly, “Shared trauma, maybe?” When no one laughed at your words, you backtracked. Your honesty might have been too much for them after all. “That was a joke. Obviously. We have a lot in common and went through similar stuff in life.”

It became quiet for a few seconds, though you sensed that Solar was holding back. Whatever she might have had dancing on the tip of her tongue, she took her sweet time wording it in her pretty head.

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way.” Always a great way to start a sentence. “If the shoe fits, tie that bitch up. But you’re in college now. This is your time to explore your interests—your options. No one comes out of college the way they go in. It’s a life-changing experience.”

“So, I should cheat on my boyfriend, is what you’re saying?” You started getting a little defensive now that your love life appeared to be under attack. All the attention got uncomfortable as much as you understood where it was coming from.

“That’s not what I was saying at all.” Some of the tension fell from your shoulders. “I’m saying people change. So, don’t be surprised if your boyfriend and you don’t work out.” Still not the direction you wanted this conversation to go. But Solar continued anyway. “Take Byul, for example.”

Solar leaned back, her hand coming to her friend’s shoulder.

“Byul started college, wanting to become a lawyer.” Byul nodded, agreeing. Her blazer somehow made more sense now. “She finished her degree and opened her own music production studio not two months later. And Hwasa—” With that, Solar went on to your roommate, who threw her a playful wink. “The first year of college, she cycled between so many partners, we were certain, she’d end up pregnant or with an STD. And look at her now.”

From how lovingly Hwasa was gazing at Wheein, there was no doubt in your mind that she had happily moved on from those days.

“And when Wheein started college,” Solar continued her list, “she was straight as a ruler. Do you see what I’m saying?”

“I do.”

And it was the truth. You understood that most people used college to find their path in life. The women around you were the best example for it. All four of them had found their place in the world, who they wanted to be, through university. You didn’t doubt that whatever had happened to them was necessary for them to grow into the women they were today.

At the same time, you knew your life better than anyone else at this table. You remembered every little thing you had gone through together, with Jisung. You understood how his mind worked. What he struggled with and how to get him through it emotionally—you had witnessed most of it with your own eyes.

And there was nothing one-sided about it either. There was no doubt in your mind that the same went for Jisung. He knew you like the palm of his hand—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I’m still very sure we are not gonna break up.”

“I hope you don’t.” Yuqi finally came to your rescue, cutting the tensive atmosphere. “He’s adorable.”

Thankfully, Solar accepted it as the end of story. She sat back as Yuqi diverted the conversation from you to Byul, asking her about her work at the studio. You calmed down as the centre of attention drew from you and towards the ins and outs of the music industry. When Hwasa playfully bumped her shoulder into yours, you looked up at her. A teasing wink showcased her support and affection. And probably her drunkenness.

“Sorry about her. Solar can be very straightforward, but she has a good soul. She’s a realist, and very openly so.”

“It’s alright,” you told her, taking your glass and a huge sip of your Mojito. “I know most relationships at our age don’t last. But we’re solid as a rock. It’d need a tsunami to separate us.”

You hoped the rest of the night would go a little less awkward than this. Though, as the alcohol ultimately entered your system, you soon forgot about the whole conversation.

“I’m gonna be sick.”

A second later Hwasa bent over the nearest bush.

“What happened?”

“She got sick,” you explained the situation as you used your hair tie to fixate Hwasa’s long locks behind her neck. “You good?”

Hwasa wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and nodded as she stumbled towards the housing entrance. Wheein supported her other side, the two of you exchanging concerned looks.

“Is she gonna be alright?”

“I think so. It usually takes a glass of water and an aspirin, and she’ll be back to her old self.” You didn’t doubt Wheein knew how her girlfriend usually handled alcohol. “I’m gonna take her to my room to make sure. It’s closer to the bathroom, and I don’t have a roommate she could disturb.”

“You have a single room?” Yuqi questioned in surprise. Her enthusiasm after midnight was still higher than yours had been all evening. “Man, I should become dorm supervisor next year.”

“It has its perks.”

Yuqi took over once you had reached your room, holding up Hwasa so they could lead her to her girlfriend’s room.

“Good night. Call me if you need help,” you told Wheein, who nodded thankfully.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” After Yuqi had bidden her goodbye, you turned to your door, entering the four-digit code to unlock it.

Once inside, you rid yourself of your shoes, turning the lights on as you set your bag down by your dresser.

A groan came from your bed, making you jump and stumble back against the wooden cupboard. Your blanket moved at the disturbance, a bulge the size of a grown person appearing underneath it. It took a mop of familiar brown hair to calm you as you realise that not an intruder had overtaken your bed.

“Dang it! Jisung, you creep! You almost gave me a heart attack.”

Noticing the tired haze in his eyes, you strolled over to him. You slid next to his torso as your hand reached for his chubby cheek, grazing his skin. It woke him up, your action met with a sigh and his head leaning comfortably against your palm.

Under the blanket, you noticed his shirt, which didn’t even begin to cover his bulging biceps. It took you a moment to recognise why it didn’t fit him like his other clothes usually did.

“Are you wearing my crop top again?” Amusement laced your tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You almost didn’t understand him, his vague mumbling blurrier than typical. He must have been asleep for a while.

“What are you doing here? I thought you wanted to hang out with Felix tonight.” You took out your earrings, neatly placing them on the small nightstand by your bed. “What happened to bonding with your roomie?”

“We hung out for four hours,” he explained with a yawn. “Then I came over because I missed you.”

Running your hand down the side of his face, he grabbed it as soon as he could reach it. He brought it to his lips to give your skin a quick peck.

“Now, come to bed, so we can sleep.”

“I need to get changed and brush my teeth first.”

“I can help you get out of your clothes. And I don’t care if your breath stinks.”

“I care.” You got off your bed to rush through your evening routine so you could fall into your love’s arms already. Yet, your intentions were rudely interrupted. “What the heck!”

Before you could take a step, Jisung’s arm snapped out from beneath your blanket, pulling you back. You couldn’t react fast enough as he dragged you into a lying position next to him, still fully clothed.

“See? I don’t care.”

“What about the light?”

Lifting his head off your pillow, he grabbed the tissue box from your nightstand and tossed it at the light switch. You didn’t know when he had suddenly learned to aim, but it hit smack-bang in the middle, shutting off all the light in your room.

“I gotta admit, that was impressive.”

“Now, let’s get you out of those clothes.”

You giggled as he effortlessly opened the button and zipper of your pants and dragged them down your legs. He tossed them towards the end of the bed, to be dealt with tomorrow. Next was your top, which he swiftly brought over your head, throwing it to join the rest of your clothes.

“If you only cleaned as quick as you undress me.”

“Everybody has their own forté.” You snickered at his words, closing the gap between you. “I could also be way quicker than that. We haven’t had sex in a week. Right now, your clothes are my nemesis.”

The heat of his body caught you in a warm hug, “A week already, huh?”

“8 days and 7 hours, to be exact. But who’s counting?” His arm came around you, scooting you closer so your back pressed flat against his chest.

“You wanna reset that clock?”

“Nah,” he brushed your suggestion off. “I’m way too tired to have sex right now.”

“Tomorrow then?”

“About that.” His hot breath fanned over your neck. “I know it’s date night, but there’s this party I was invited to. I thought we could go to that instead.”

“A party?” It was the first week of university. How had your introverted boyfriend already been invited to a party? You should have probably seen the answer coming. “Whose?”

“I think you know.”

Of course, you knew. How could you not when his parties had been legendary even back in the day? Though, until now, you had suppressed his present at this campus all together. His being the one who shalln’t be named.

You thought about Jisung’s suggestion for a second.

Sure, a party would intervene with your bi-weekly date night. And, on top of that, it was organised by someone, you didn’t know how to approach after everything that had gone down. But this was university, after all. And, as Solar had said before: University is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. So, why the heck shouldn’t you go to a party?

“So? What do you say?”

“Fine.” Jisung’s previously unbothered expression turned into a smile as he grazed his lips to your neck. “Just... Don’t tell your sister we’re going. I’m not sure she would appreciate us hanging out with her ex.”

“Lying to my sister? Who are you, and what did you do to my girlfriend?” A yawn hit your ear, your face scrunching at the unwanted ASMR session. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

As Jisung slipped into a deep slumber, your mind raced through the events of your day. It usually did at the end of the day, your mind too tired to do anything productive but too awake to rest. The silence around you allowed you to remember an earlier text message you never got to answer.

Pulling your arm out of your boyfriend’s iron hold on your body, you reached for your phone on the nightstand.

Your dad had sent you a voice message about three hours earlier when you had still been at the bar. You pushed the play button and brought the phone to your ear to not disturb Jisung’s beauty sleep. By all means, he needed it. Or so he said.

“Hi, honey. It’s dad. I hope you had a lovely day and aren’t studying too hard already.” You smiled at his words, knowing it was one of his biggest hopes for you to get some time to yourself. “Remember what I told you when you left? Live a little!” A pause as he was seemingly picking up something from the ground. “I just wanted to ask when you were coming home Friday. I’m planning brunch with you two and Jia, so if you could be here by noon, that’d be great.”

Friday was the day after tomorrow. You hadn’t forgotten you’d be going back home for the weekend, but you sure hoped the party tomorrow wouldn’t keep you up all night. If you had to be home by noon, you’d have to leave campus by ten. And after a party, like you expected this one to be, you prayed you and a certain someone wouldn’t be too hungover.

“Anyways, sleep tight, and have a lovely night. We miss you!”

A second voice appeared in the background, not too far from your father’s, and your heart skipped a happy beat. The words were harder to make out as he was munching on an apple, cereal, or something else crunchy.

Still, there wouldn’t come a day you wouldn’t understand his babbling.

“Come home soon, please! Mhpf—I miss you, mommy.”

With a loving smile plastered on your face, you replied with a heart emoji. After such a perfect goodnight-messaged, you’d be sleeping like a stone tonight.

Next Chapter >>> Let me know if you want to be tagged. Make sure you have an age indicator in your profile.

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[themainreactor]

"I don't think this was the original plan... Oh well."

In which a suicidal boy gets kidnapped by his scary yandere girl stalker. He could care less and doesn't mind dying, however she cares and it confuses her why he doesn't. So she brings him with her into the League of Villains and for once in his life, he can say that he's genuinely felt... At least okay.

"You need help, y'know that right?"

"I know I just... I don't want help."

"How do you expect to get better then?!"

"Well I'm not really excepting to get better, I wasn't even really expecting to live this long."

"Why are you like this?!"

...

Y/N was kind of... Strange to say the least.

Y/N's not even sure why he can't just be normal, he wants to be but he can't help but feel like life would be better without him being there. Even if he doesn't try to gain attention, he still somehow does.

Whether it be bullying at his school, his parents disappointment in him, his friends leaving him because of how much his mental state is hurting them, or even him bothering the police and ambulances.

So he decided after a while to just stop trying to die because it makes it so much worse when he doesn't succeed and everyone gets frustrated. He got better over time... Well at least it took him about three years to convince everyone of that. At least people felt less worried and went back to their normal lives.

Yet he still seems to attract trouble.

So that's why he's not entirely surprised when he wakes up in an abandoned house one evening after his nap with a crazy looking girl kneeling at his feet. The walls were all graffiti'd, there was no furniture and it was already clear that the girl had some sinister intentions.

"You're awake! Hi there cutie!" The girl yells, happily jumping around before kneeling right back in front of him. He's not entirely sure what's going on and what's even worse is that he's pretty sure he recognized her.

"You're... That girl... You killed that boy in my school" He states, only to get a giggle and a nod as if that didn't matter whatsoever. Already that was the worst impression someone can have about another person.

She was probably going to kill him too and honestly he didn't mind, he just had a nap so at least he would die refreshed.

"Yep! That's me! That was my first love but you're my favorite so far!" She yells, gushing before placed her knife right against his neck.

"Y'know... You'd look even cuter with your blood all over you."

He only raised his eyebrow before activating his quirk, causing her to scream and drop her knife.

His quirk was emotion, he could control, level out or amplify an emotion in a person. He amplified fear in her, so that's why she was now shaking on the floor.

But now he actually felt a bit bad for her.

She was a freak, he could understand that much and he didn't blame her. Everyone called him a freak too. Plus, It was flattering since no one had ever been a freak for him, although it was concerning. What was he doing to gain her attention? Did she know where her parents were at?

He struggled with the zip ties that were tying him only to get one to snap and let go of his wrist. He sighs, turning off his quirk and watching as she cried and choked on her own spit. But she seemed more calm even though she was still feeling the lingering fear from before.

"So what do you plan do to me?"

"No! Not anything bad! I just... I wanted some of your blood..."

"Why? Don't you have your own?" Y/N chuckled.

"...Yeah... But I want to be like you! I... I want to become like you because I love you!"

"... You don't even know me-"

"Yes I do though! Your name is Y/N, M/N, L/N! I know that you're really strong and that everyone at your school is scared of you! They think you'll take advantage of them with your quirk but I know you wouldn't do that! I also know that you used to date a girl And she left you for your best friend!"

"... And you know this all... Because?"

"Because I followed you and I like watching you at school and at home! Y'know if you want I can kill the girl and that fake friend of yours! Would you like me to do that?! It doesn't matter anyway!"

He just looks at her again, worried about what she meant. She loved him, so she was going to kill him... That made no damn sense.

"Just like the boy... Y'know we were confused, no one at school thought you'd do something like that. You were always that sweet and happy girl... Why'd you kill him?"

"I hated pretending that I was normal! But that's all anyone saw me for anyway! For example, is my home! Or it used to be my home." She mumbles and Y/N looks around the graffiti'd walls, it looks like it was once a girl's room.

He almost forgot what her house even looked like.

"I... I was born a monster, someone who couldn't live without hurting the people she loved... So... I want to become a really strong girl, someone who can make my own path and become those I love!"

"... That's why you want my blood?"

"Yep! I want your blood! You're so pretty and interesting at the same time! I want to be just like you! I love you!"

"How do you know you love me?"

"I just know I love you! You make my heart beat really fast and I want to kill anyone that hurts you!"

He remembered him and his mother bidding her family goodbye after they moved. He could recall how they came to comfort them even though most people hated them. People blamed them for not raising their daughter right but they probably tried to. He never saw them in a bad light, he always felt like they had tried.

He doesn't say anything as she tried to explain herself more, he just watched her. He knew that in this position she could still try to kill him. Now that he thinks about it though, he didn't really want to live. No one would be worried about him killing himself if someone else killed him.

He didn't have to pretend to want to live anymore... Just like she didn't have to pretend to be normal. So finally he gives in, silently handing her his wrist. She looks at it, confused before a hopeful smile came on her face.

"You... You want me to have your blood?!"

"Instead of stalking me, you should have just asked, you would have gotten it faster."

"... Really?"

"Yep."

The girl just looks at him, she's not sure what to say. With all the people she's killed and loved, never had any of them offered her something like that.

Why was there no hesitation in his voice?

He was definitely extra special, she couldn't possibly kill him now.

"... But why?"

"You'll be doing me a favor... I don't really want to live believe it or not, although I assumed you already knew that."

She did know that he dozed off a lot and that he seemed bored and sad sometimes but she doesn't like how unusually calm he was, it was unnerving how he didn't seem to care about the dire situation he was in. She wanted to kill him and he wasn't even trying to escape her.

So quickly she grabs onto his wrist, using the knife to only make a small cut. She didn't even try to drink the blood or save it, she just wanted to see if he would actually let her or if he'd even care. He didn't flinch and it made it worse so she groaned and started to cut the zip ties off of his other hand and his ankles.

"You good?"

"No... I don't want to kill you anymore."

"Damn, am I that boring?" He playfully asks, hoping to actually get her to reconsider what she said.

"You really want me to kill you?!" She yells

"Yeah, why not? In fact, please do, I wouldn't hold it against you, really." He shrugs before she almost growls at him. She had some canines that were definitely sharp, like a dog or even a vampire.

"No! I... I can fix you."

"... The hell does that mean?" He looks at her, suddenly worried that she was one of those fantasy medieval romance novel girls.

Those types of girls and women scared him because they could care less. If you even remotely resembled their book boyfriends, they would try to marry you.

"Do you know that hero killer Mr. Stainy that was on the news recently?!"

"Um... I don't think that's his name but sure, yeah the hero killer."

"I also want to be just like him! I want to be able to live in a world where I can be free."

"... Hate to break it to you, I don't think you can do that when you're killing people." He chuckled, gaining a cute giggle from the girl.

"I know that, silly! So, that's why, I'm going to join his group."

"His group? What group?"

"The League of Villains."

"... Aren't they their own group?"

"I don't know but I want to be like stainy! But I want to be like you too so why don't you come with me? I know you're bored with your life so help me with mine!" She happily jumps.

"... So... You're not going to kill me?"

"Nope! We should take you back home!"

What? What was wrong with this girl? Was she bipolar or what?

"... Okay... You still want my blood?"

"Yeah!" She smiled.

And with that she grabs his wrist before actually biting it and sucking the blood out of it.

"Ow... Y'know you still have time to kill me, how do you know I won't call the police and tell them that you're here?"

"Because you're too sweet for that!" She replies after letting her mouth pop off of his wrist. She was probably right though, he wasn't going to call anyone on her.

"Now, why don't we get some sugar cookies and you can go home? I know those are your favorite and I'll definitely get you when I find a way to continue my life plan!"

"... Alright..."

"I love you so much!"

Y/N doesn't respond, but he carefully eyes the harsh bite mark that was now on his wrist.

This was probably a bad idea. After all, how was he going to explain this to his mom?

Honestly, he didn't mind.

...

"Are you sure you're okay with being left at home?" His mother asks, placing her luggage in the van as her husband gets the car started.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Was all he said smiling at his mom as she came over to hug him.

"If you start to feel scared or depressed please call me before you do anything."

"Mom, I think I'm fine, it's been like three years since I last tried anything like that."

"I know but still, that shouldn't even be a last resort okay?"

"Alright mom, now stop worrying about me and enjoy your honeymoon!"

The mom gives him a quick hug again before entering the car. The husband just waved at the boy since they still weren't on the best of terms, but it was good enough that they were cordial with one another.

The boy waves the car away as they drive off, and as soon as the car is out of view, he walks right back into the house.

He yawns, happy that he had the house to himself. Until he didn't of course.

"HI!"

"JEEZ! WHAT THE HELL?!" Y/N jumps, dropping the bagel he grabbed from the counter onto the floor before groaning. It was the girl, Himiko Toga. It had been about a month since she had kidnapped him before taking him back home and she literally found every spare minute to invade his privacy when his mom and step dad weren't around.

"... Oh... Hello."

"How are you doing handsome?!" Toga yells, quickly hugging Y/N from behind before jumping onto the counter to sit down in front of him.

"Just fine... How'd you even get in the house?"

"I broke through your window."

"... Did you break the window?"

"No silly, I just popped the screen open and then unlocked the latch before popping the screen closed once I got in!"

Y/N groans a bit, scratching his hair before handing her a new bagel and picking up the one he dropped on the floor. He could just eat it off the floor, it's not like the floor was dirty since he helped his mom clean the entire house yesterday.

Was he still going to eat it? No, he wanted to die but he didn't want to contract a disease while he was at it.

"Guess what!?"

"What?"

"I found someone who'll help me get into the league of villains! You should come with me tonight! Oh! I also drew a picture of you and me!" Toga excitedly yells before jumping off of the countertop and rushing upstairs.

"Um... Alright." Y/N mumbled before yawning and grabbing another bagel to eat. It was only about a few seconds that she came rushing back down with her small but cute cat backpack unfortunately covered in small amounts of someone's blood.

"Here, look!"

Y/N looked at it for two good seconds as he tried to comprehend what the hell he was seeing. As surprisingly good as her drawings were, why did it have to be him like that?

He had to refrain from pushing the sketch book out of his face. First off, what type of memory did this bitch have that she could draw him from scratch. Secondly, this was the most non safe for work thing that he's ever seen, he's not used to this shit because he's only watched porn once and it was by accident.

"It's..." Y/N looked at the giddy girl, mentally applauding her courage in showing him this with a straight face, as if it wasn't basically fan art sex.

"It's nice."

"You really think so?!"

"Yeah."

Toga starts kicking her feet, content that Y/N liked the picture she drew. So she just watched him for most of the day and she doesn't even know why he keeps her around. After all, she could try to kill him when he wasn't looking... Oh wait, he wanted to die.

Toga sighs before looking up at the ceiling in boredom. She was excited to bring Y/N with her to the league but she was a bit worried that they wouldn't take him nor would he technically be a villain anyway. Would he be willing to kill someone if they made him?

"So, before we go to see if you can get into the league, we should go to the store and buy you a really cool villain outfit, something that's cute but also screams badass-"

Y/N chuckled at her as she kept rambling about clothing items. Honestly he didn't care, as long as at some point he died. Maybe that was a bit too far to think but he really was tired, he barely had the energy to get up in the morning and brush his teeth and that was every single morning.

"Alright."

"So what style of clothes do you like?"

"Um... Surprise me, I don't really mind."

"You seem indecisive."

"Well I am."

"About the whole league of villains thing?"

"Yeah."

"Don't you want to be a villain?"

"No... No, not really." He shook his head, being fully serious about it. However it wasn't like he wouldn't try it. I mean, he literally had nothing to lose besides him mom and his life, and his mom was very capable of protecting herself.

"... Well do you want to be with me?!"

"... I mean... No... You're kinda crazy."

Toga just huffed, crossing her hands in front of herself whilst pouting. Y/N walked off into the living room, noting that Toga grabbed a knife and tried to stab his shoulder before he activated his quirk.

Why was she like this? She must have actually been bipolar or something.

"I don't know why you keep wanting to stab me at the most inconvenient times." He mumbled, barely paying attention to her once again distraught figure on the floor before he just sighed and turned off his quirk.

"Hey, you're okay." Was all he said, gently patting her head before looking at the time.

This made him think of why he couldn't have just left his quirk out of a situation like this? He could have died that way, he could have been killed and missed that opportunity because of his reflexes.

Whatever, he'd die eventually.

Toga didn't say anything as she stood up, just slowly hugged Y/N again since she didn't really care about whether or not he used his quirk on her. Y/N hugged her back before letting go just to let her know that he wasn't mad at her. Sure the quirk was annoying but she knew all too well that he was too sweet to truly harm anyone.

"So... Will you come with me tonight?"

"... Sure, why not?"

"Thank you! Thank you so much Y/N-kun! I love you, I love you!"

"... Okay..."

...

"What do you mean I need a body count?" Y/N questioned the supposed villian broker named Giran, grimacing at the man in front of him. There was no way this man was actually going to let him in The League of Villains at all if he hadn't killed people yet?

Sounds biased.

"Well I guess we can forget that for now but have you killed anybody at all? What's your quirk? Abilities? You got any props to show us? Anything at all that could determine that you'll be a good addition to the league?"

He couldn't even answer the question at first, almost all of his attention was being taken by the barbequed man standing on the side. Why did he genuinely seem like he was tweaking out? He was probably not a normal human to begin with, he must have been born into this villain trade. This had to be some bloodline Taugarian stuff.

"After all, I have good business with the league and I wouldn't want to ruin it."

"... Why didn't you tell me? I would have prepared a bit better." He grumbled, glaring at Toga when he turned her direction.

"Well the union already said I was a good pick! Sorry, I didn't think about it even when I said that I'd bring you!"

Y/N just sighed when Toga hugged onto his arm, quietly eyeing the burnt guy that kinda had some sass with his stance. Clearly he was impatient and didn't want to wait for this.

"Well... I haven't actually killed anyone yet, except for my dad. I hit him with a bat when I was younger and he died of blood loss, but I don't think that really counts since it was an accident." He starts, already cringing at how strange his own voice sounded.

This was annoying and embarrassing.

"My quirk is emotion, I can control people's emotions basically... But I don't really have a prop to show-"

"Oh! Me! Me! You can use me! You wanna use me?!" Toga yells really quick, jumping in front of him all excited like.

"The hell?" The burnt guy asks, almost wanting to gag. He didn't really like this crazy lovesick girl and it would be really annoying if he had to be in a villain group with her. He didn't know much about the boy, except that he was most definitely a rookie who probably just wanted attention.

He'd just burn them later if they annoyed him too much.

"Um... How bout no?" Y/N starts, gently grabbing her by the shoulders and moving her to the side of him instead of in front.

"We gotta go soon so when you're done talking with the crazy one and attention hogging dude, can you let me know? I'm already tired of this." The burnt guy scoffs when he gets a finger pointed his way by the guy, so he just decided that he was ready to leave until he was stopped.

He may or may not have had a sudden heart attack by the alleyway door but for some reason he couldn't move and he didn't like it one damn bit.

Why did he suddenly feel like he was absolutely worthless? He felt useless in so many ways and it was one of the most painful things in the world. All his trauma just threw up at him all at once.

"That's rude y'know? You should respect the guy when you're the one taking up his time." Y/N scolded, moving his index finger up in the air which caused the guy to just start crying.

He just cried, it actually made Y/N kind of nervous since it seemed like more than just his quirk. It sounded so broken, he would rather hear someone scream than sob the way this guy was weeping.

"That is so cool Y/N! What emotion are you using now?!" Toga asks.

"Sadness." He replies, his eyes still on the grown man. He only just now noticed that him crying had actually opened up the burn wounds around his mouth and eyes.

"Basically I overwhelm the brain with the chemical that causes a particular emotion before forcing it onto the body." Y/N explains to the guy, turning off his quirk so that the burnt guy can breathe.

"... That's... Scary actually and it's perfect, Even though the union didn't pick you, you'd be a great helper for what the league of villains needs. The dude you just messed is named Dabi, You're in."

"Oh My Gosh Y/N-kun! Do you know what this means?! You and I are going to be hero killers! Just like Mr. Stainy! Oh man! I love you so much!"

"... Cool... Thanks... Hey um, Dabi right? Sorry about that-"

"Shut the hell up." Dabi growls, standing up and holding one of the burn marks closed right under his eye. He didn't even bother wiping the tears away because it wasn't gonna do him any good. He was already embarrassed, and this dumb ass kid scared him.

If he could dominate and control an emotion that quick and that effective with almost no drawback, what the hell would be able to stop him?

"Yeah... I-I kinda deserve that, I'll shut up, that's fair I guess."

...

"Shigaraki! Your league of villains has been the talk of the town this last several days." Giran comments as he opens the door to an abandoned bar. This seemed like a really terribly way to start a conversation if you ask Y/N.

"Word on the street says you're about to start something big-"

"And? Who did you bring?"

Rude. All Giran does about it is chuckle before waving the three of them inside. Toga almost squeals, hugging onto Y/N's arm before letting go and walking in. This was most likely a bad idea.

As soon as Y/N enters he knows this is an annoyingly bad idea. This dude with the hand for a mask was the leader of this whole thing? He looked like a skeleton, when was the last time this man ate?

"So it's really you huh? I've seen you in pictures but i gotta say, you're way grosser in person." Dabi starts, tilting his head to the side.

"Wow it's the weird hand guy! You're friends with my hero stain right? Cool, let us join the league, we wanna be in your group!" Toga yells, blushing as she once again grabs a hold of Y/N's arm

"... Kurogiri, get rid of these three, I can already tell their exactly the kind of trash I hate. A girly brat, some weak mute boy and a guy with no manners." The man named Shigaraki, pointing his finger at them.

"I'm not mute." Y/N chuckles, almost using his quirk on the man just because of his bluntness. It was pissing him off more than he'd like to admit.

"Now, now Tomura Shigaraki, They came all this way. The least we could do is here them out, give them a chance. Besides, this broker is respected in the underworld, they're bound to be valuable assets." The weird purple smoke guy called Kurogiri states.

He kinda reminded Y/N of that fire bartender in the Undertale game.

"Like em or not, you still owe me a finders fee in cash. I suppose I could introduce the three of them before I go." Giran mentioned.

"This one looks like an adorable high school girl right? But she's actually the suspect in a series of deaths where the victims all bled out. So far her name and face have been kept out of the media."

Danm, Y/N almost forgot just how dangerous she was and what she was guilty of.

"Toga, Himiko Toga! Life is too hard and I just want to make it easier to live in this dumb world. I want to be Mr. Stainy! I wanna kill Mr. Stainy! Oh c'mon Mr. Handy man please let me join your league of villains!" She greets herself, letting everyone in the room know just how crazy she was.

"You gotta be kidding me, is she crazy?"

"Well she can hold a conversation, for the most part at least. C'mon, she can be useful."

"Yeah, in fact I was gonna be her next victim before she asked me to come here." Y/N answers, looking at Shigaraki with a very serious expression.

"... What?" Shigiraki looked at the boy and he almost took his hand mask off in surprise. He honestly would have expected that the kid wanted to be here with how calm and blunt he was.

"It's a long story... Well not really but it's not relevant to the topic right now."

"And this guy," Giran adds, pointing his cigarette towards Dabi. " hasn't committed any flashy crimes but he's taken stains ideology to heart."

"I don't like this, is your group really dedicated to the hero killers mission? I can't imagine you are if you're going to let this little psycho join." Dabi grunts when he refers to Toga.

"Grow up, at least she can introduce herself." Y/N grumbles, already realizing that him and this Dabi were probably not gonna get along all that well.

"Yeah, I actually agree with him. She may be a psycho but she can actually talk to people." Shigiraki comments, waving his hand in the general direction of Y/N and Toga. "Don't just stare, what's your name?"

"Right now I'm going by Dabi."

"No I want to know your real name."

"I'll tell you when you need to know it, in any case, my new purpose is to carry out the hero killers will."

"That wasn't what I asked you, patchwork. Jeez why's everyone so hung up over Stain."

"Okay I'm not that smart, " Y/N starts, hoping to understand something about all of this. "but why the hell do we need to carry out the hero killers wish when he's not dead? Isn't he just in prison? We should have our own wish if it's our group right? Not live off the back of someone else's wish, or am I missing something here-"

"Shut up." Shigiraki growls as he stands up.

"It's all I ever hear about, every, damn, day. It's really pissing me off!"

"No, don't do it!" Kurogiri yells.

The hell was he doing?

"WE'LL KEEP THE BOY, THE TWO OF YOU ARE DONE!" Shigaraki yells, throwing his hands in their direction. Dabi does the same in Shigaraki's direction.

Y/N pulls Toga back before she can do anything or get hurt, but not before grabbing her knife to possibly stab the dude's hand. Y/N hasn't killed anyone but that doesn't mean that he doesn't know how to fight.

Before anybody's attacks land anywhere, Y/N watches as purple smoke engulfs their hands before they are placed somewhere else in the room. It was like a portal of sorts.

"Please calm yourself Tomura Shigaraki."

Why does this dude keep stating his first and last name like it was some title?

"If your desire is to be realized then we must increase our numbers,"

Y/N sighs, not paying anymore attention to the conversation before taking out his hand along with the knife. He hands the knife to Toga who felt it was right to suddenly Koala hold his back.

"I'm outta here."

Y/N moves himself out of the way of the pissed off leader of the league of villains. He's not sure how he feels about him, maybe it's not all that bad but he didn't really like how that ended.

"Where are you off too?"

"Shut up."

"I try to make it a point not to complain about my clients but he's too young and far too immature." Giran sighs.

"Really thought he was gonna kill us from a sec!" Toga gushes before jumping off of Y/N's back.

"Yeah, he looks like he needs to be in a psych ward like you Toga." Y/N added on, ignoring the surprisingly weak punch Toga gave to his shoulder.

"That guy makes me want to vomit."

"I've only known you for like thirty minutes and I think I can tell that everything makes you wanna throw up."

"What'd you say?"

"I said-" Y/N starts, ready to repeat himself again.

"Shut up! No one asked you anyway!"

"Okay patchwork."

"What?!"

"I said okay patchwork, I'mma keep calling you that too."

"I hope you drown!"

"I was hoping for that a long time ago dude."

...

"I can't believe we're actually in the league! Oh my gosh this is gonna be so cool! I can't wait! And it'll be even better with you Y/N-kun!" Toga yells, blushing to herself as the both of them sat on top of a building.

"How high do you think I'd have to jump to crack my skull?"

"... What?"

Y/N turns to Toga only to be graced with a small smile concealing her worried expression.

"... Oh sorry, I wasn't trying to scare you."

"No, you didn't scare me... I just... I think it's about two stores high."

That was the first time anyone had answered him a question like that before, and of course it had to be the crazy blood stealing girl.

"Alright."

"..."

"..."

"Hey... Y/N-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you call me Himiko?"

"... Why?" Y/N inquired, wondering if he was being caught in some strange trap by her again.

"Well because I love you and it's just that I don't want to see you die yet. I want to be there for you like you were there for me before and I want you to love me too."

"Um... I was never there for you though-"

"Yes you were! You were always there, someone that was always consistently in my life!"

"... Is that because you were stalking me?"

"I wouldn't call it stalking, I'd call it a romantic walk that you didn't know you were doing with me!"

"Oh... Alright." Y/N sighed slightly, letting you ye girl hug him as he looked down at the people below. Everyone was just walking around, trying to get the last of what they needed so that they didn't have to stay out too late.

None of these people would be prepared for something like the league of villains... So why was he partaking in this? He was one of these citizens, one of these people.

"Do you love me Y/N-kun?"

Y/N briefly turned to look at Toga once again, her sick and flustered smile looking right back at him.

"... No... I don't love you Himiko."

Toga nodded her head, accepting the answer for what it was before looking up at the sky. The stars were very pretty when there weren't many lights.

Y/N though for a bit more about this whole thing, not sure why he was agreeing to this. Sure he didn't value his life all that much but he had family, he had people that cared about him, and he had people he cared about.

But there was something about this that made him feel excited and energetic about it all. He can't remember the last time he felt so much thrill being near a person that could kill him.

It was always him that was trying to kill himself, not someone trying to kill him. No one had ever tried to kill him before.

It was exhilarating.

Heck, the guy wasn't even really trying to kill him, he was trying to kill Dabi and Toga and yet he had pulled her out of the way to protect her. It seemed like he'd really enjoy being a villain but at the same time, he could be a pretty good hero.

He must have been a villain or a hero in his past life because even with that sudden stress he felt so calm, like nothing had even occurred and he wasn't bored like he had nothing to do either.

If this villain thing didn't work, he would try to transfer into a hero school like UA or something like that, though that was setting the bar higher, it was something.

He actually didn't feel like killing himself right now.

"Hey.... Himiko?"

She didn't respond and when Y/N looked at her, she was asleep, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I don't love you... But I think I like you, I'd like to be a villain as long as you're there." He mumbled, gently placing his hand on top of her head.

How did he even let an evil and crazy yandere girl swoon him into joining her in a group of other evil people?

He's not sure but at the moment, he doesn't mind. He'll figure out the details later.

Wow, he's actually feeling pretty okay right now.

[hymnserendipity]

Break up Geto

Angst, mention of death, no gender mention

Geto has been colder lately, ever since the girl in his custody died he has become very thoughtful and unfriendly despite all your efforts to make him smile. You moved in with him to be close to him and never leave him alone with his thoughts because that's the only thing you can do.

One morning as you woke up alone in bed you reach the living room, seeing him sitting on the couch, not bothering to look at you. “We should end this” Geto says, gazing at the clouds lazily drifting by the window. You’re sitting beside him now, wearing his shirt, shocked. “There’s no reason to delay the inevitable.”

Because any relationship he’s in isn’t meant to last. Not in his line of work. You may as well be dating a dead man walking. He’s clung to you for so long in search for any sense of normalcy. "W-what? Why?" Geto takes a long drag of his cigarette before replying. "You really need me to tell you why?" He knows you're not that naive. That you don't actually need him to spell it out for you. "Yes. Yes, i do." He puts the cigarette out in the nearby ashtray, exhaling a long breath. "You already know why" he says, his voice taking on a tired edge. And you knew you did. "Because I'm a sorcerer. Because I can't offer you anything permanent. Because I can't give you the life you want. You know all this." "I want you. I don't want anything less and anything more." He laughs, harsh and biting. "You're being naive." His gaze flicks over to you, eyes narrowing. "You can't tell me you're perfectly fine with me coming home with bloody clothes. That you feel comfortable with the fact that any given day could be my last."

He exhales, looking away again. "Hell, do you even understand what you're saying? You're really okay with the thought of spending every waking moment in fear about a future you can't control? Being constantly, painfully reminded of how temporary I am?"

"I will never stop thinking of you anyway. I'll make you live every moment, every day, every week. I'll be by your side because you choose to be a sorcerer and i choosed to be with you."

"You-" Geto cuts himself off as he processes your words, stunned by your determination. He knew you'd be stubborn about it, but this was not what he had expected. "Are you hearing what you're saying? Do you have any idea what it even means to date a sorcerer?"

"I love you, Suguru. And i know that you feel the same. I can cross the street and risk it anyway. So what, we shouldnt go other roads just because something can happen?" He growls, frustrated by your tenacity. "It's not the same." He can't believe he even has to explain this. "When you cross the street, it's a calculated risk. You weigh the odds, you assess your surroundings, and you make a choice. But with me? With us?"

He leans in, his eyes intense. "The odds are always stacked against us. It's a matter of when, not if something bad happens. Can you live with that?"

"Yes. And you?"

"You're being foolish" Geto mutters, shaking his head. But he's already wavering in his resolve. He can feel it in the way his heart beats faster in his chest, the way his throat feels tight. He's weak to you, and he can't stand how much you'll mean his downfall.

He closes his eyes. "We'll never have a normal life" he tells you, his voice a ragged whisper. "We'll never have a future. Can you accept that?"

"If we will get married or have kids and one day it will be finished then we will figure it out. But for now i don't want you to tell me to broke up. I want to hear from you if you love me or not. Geto opens his eyes, his gaze fierce. "Of course I love you" he says, his voice rough with emotion. "I've loved you for a long time now. But-"

He sighs, frustrated and conflicted. "You need to understand what you're signing up for. This won't be some fairytale romance. It'll be hard, and it'll be painful, and it'll be dangerous. Can you really handle that?" " I don't want you to face everything alone. I'll be here with you no matter what." Geto tenses as you move to sit on his lap, his instincts telling him to push you away. But he knows that would be pointless. You're here to stay, and he can't find the willpower to make you leave.

"You're a damn fool" he mutters, not quite able to look you in the eye. "You're going to get yourself hurt." "I'll not let you suffer alone." Geto can't help the bitter laugh that escapes him when he hears your words. "You can't protect me" he says, resigned to your stubbornness. "I can take care of myself. That's not the issue here. The issue is you, putting yourself in harm's way for my sake."

He tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. "I don't want you to get hurt. I can't let you get hurt." "I'll not end up hurt, i do a normal job" "It doesn't matter" He insists, growing more frustrated by the second. "You're underestimating the danger you'd be in just by being with me. The things I've seen, the things I've done- you have no idea the kind of people I've tangled with. They wouldn't hesitate to use you against me. Can you honestly say you're prepared to face something like that?" "I Won't let you leave me and face everything by yourself, got It?" Geto lets out an exasperated breath, his hand still holding your chin in place. He wants to shake you, to make you understand the implications of your choice. But he knows it's futile. You're as stubborn as he is, and just as determined.

He brings his forehead down to meet yours, his eyes squeezed shut. "You're impossible" he mutters, the last remnants of his resolve crumbling. "How can I possibly resist you when you're this damn stubborn?" He lifts his head back up, staring into your eyes. "You understand what you're signing up for, then? You know this won't be easy. You're prepared to face danger, pain, heartbreak?"

He waits for your answer. He knows what it will be, but he needs to hear it from you. He needs to know that you're not taking this lightly. "Yes, yes, absolutely yes. I want to be by your side." Geto searches your eyes for a long moment, looking for any hint of doubt. But all he finds is certainty. Damned it.

"Fine" he grumbles, pulling you close. "Don't blame me when you eventually regret this."

[charliedawn]

DEFECTIVE GOOD PART 19

(Hi. Author here. I spent a lot of time writing this and I am pretty proud of it. If you could just leave a comment or kudos if you like the story. That would mean the world to me. Or maybe share it ? Anyway, thanks for reading. 💜)

The search for JR-6025 began in earnest, and Phasma's troopers scoured every inch of the galaxy in pursuit of their target. Hux remained on his ship, anxiously awaiting updates, his mind consumed with the thought of reclaiming her. As the days turned into weeks, however, his frustration only grew. The hunt had yet to turn up any concrete results, and he grew angrier by the hour. His temper grew shorter, and his outbursts became more frequent, terrifying the crew and troops alike.

"What do you mean you found zero tracks ?" He screeched, causing the troops to flinch. "What do you mean there are no results ? Did you search all the planets ? Did you check the records on Exegol ?"

The soldiers, his troops, his loyal servants, quivered at his tone of voice.

"FIND HER. NOW ! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME ?!" He shouted, making the soldiers flinch.

The stormtroopers scoured the galaxy, scouring every corner, every nook and cranny for the traitor. But despite their best efforts, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months with still no sign of her.

Hux grew more and more frustrated with each passing day, his anger boiling over at the failures of his troops. All of them were incompetent fools ! They were weak, and he hated weakness.

"HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU FOUND NOTHING ?!" He screeched when an update was presented to him. He was livid and exhausted.

"What do you mean you have no results ?" He screamed, his voice cracking with anger. "Are you telling me that she simply disappeared into the void ?"

He was furious. More and more furious as time passed.

"FIND HER !" He bellowed, not caring who it was that was standing in front of him.

His rage was only growing.

"I WANT EVERYONE IN THE GALAXY TO BE SCANNED !" He shouted, not caring about the amount of resources he would waste, he didn't care anymore.

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER EXCUSE !" He screeched, his voice echoing across the whole fleet.

"FIND HER !" He growled, his heart beating so fast he felt like it would explode any second now. However, he was surprised when a message appeared on his holopad...

It was a message from JR-6025...

He answered the call.

Hux’s anger boiled over at the sight of JR's face, his hands shaking with rage.

"What the hell do you think you're doing ?!" he shouted at her through the transmission. "You have no idea the trouble you're in ! Do you have any idea what you've done ?!"

What was she supposed to say ? What could she possibly say ? She hadn’t sent a single message in more than a month. She couldn’t tell him that she was with Luke Skywalker and Rey or that she had disobeyed him by not killing Rey…

"...Sir...I..."

Hux froze as he heard her voice. He felt both anger and shock, and for a split second, he couldn't believe it was actually her. He listened silently, taking in what she had to say. For a long moment there wasn't a sound apart from his breathing.

"Where are you ?" He finally asked, his voice barely holding back his anger.

She wanted to say something...But she didn't know what...She didn't know what she could possibly say to make him feel like she hadn't betrayed him...

Even if…Even if she had…

General Hux could sense her fear through the holographic transmission, and a dark smile spread across his face. "So...you've finally decided to contact me," he said in a cold, menacing voice. "I must say, I'm surprised that you even dare to face me after your little...disobedience."

He leaned forward, his eyes burning into hers through the transmission. "You have some explaining to do, don't you think ?"

Hux felt her fear and knew it was real. As much as he was furious, this moment right there...This had him worried at the same time. She was afraid of him...She was terrified. It hurt his feelings more than any insult he had ever heard.

"You have a lot of expla—" He growled but was suddenly cut off by his anger. He had enough of this. "You'll do well to have a VERY good excuse." He growled, letting out the anger contained within him.

"I am sorry, General. But, I will not be coming back."

Anger and disbelief flashed across Hux's face as he listened to her words. "You're not coming back ?" he repeated, his voice rising with each word. "Do you have any idea what you're saying ? You're a stormtrooper, JR-6025 ! And I am your superior ! You don't get to decide whether to come back or not !"

"Sir. I…I couldn’t kill Rey. She is with Skywalker. He is currently training her and I believe that she might actually bring back peace to the galaxy."

Hux's face contorted with rage as he listened to her words, his hands shaking with suppressed anger. "Are you telling me that you disobeyed a direct order and betrayed the First Order all because of one girl ?!" he snarled, his voice laced with venom. "You're nothing but a traitor ! Do you hear me ?! Do you understand the consequences of your actions ?!"

She shivered. "…Sir. Please. Understand. I am doing this for us. For us to be free. Free from fear. Wouldn’t it be something incredible ? To be able to do something for ourselves ? Be who we want to be ?"

She could almost hear him chuckle...Though there was still wrath in his tone...

"Don't preach the Force, soldier. Don't preach about freedom...Or happiness...Or...Or about anything else...."

His anger was evident...Even if he was trying to...To conceal it...

"You have gone rogue, soldier."

His voice was harsh.

"And if you do not come back this instant, I will come and destroy what remains of your life, myself."

At her refusal to obey his orders, Hux's face contorted in rage, his teeth bared in a snarl. "You traitorous worm," he spat out, his voice shaking with anger. "You dare to defy me ? You will pay for your disobedience."

He clenched his fists at his sides, his chest rising and falling with each labored breath. "You think you can hide from me ? You think you can outrun me ?" he continued, his voice rising in volume. "You are a fool ! I will find you, JR-6025, and you will regret the day you decided to cross me. Come back now. And I might forgive your obvious mistake."

"…Sir. I…" She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth. "I wish I could. I said I believed in you and that I would always be loyal to you. But, I want…I want to be happy, sir. I want to…I want to give us the choices we were deprived all our lives."

At her words, Hux's anger seethed even hotter. "You think you can give me choices ? You think you can be happy ?" he spat out with loathing. "You are nothing but a soldier, JR-6025. You do not get to make decisions. You obey orders. That is your purpose. And I order you to come back now. You are a stormtrooper. A machine. A tool...Nothing else."

He was gritting his teeth and his eyes were almost burning her.

"You do not understand love. You do not understand the Force. And you definitely do not understand happiness."

He laughed as he said it...

"The only thing a stormtrooper should know is obedience."

Hux felt a deep sense of betrayal growing inside him. She had disobeyed him, had gone against everything they had ever stood for, had turned her back on him and the First Order, all for what ? Her own freedom ?

He was furious...And his anger only grew as he heard the words coming out of her mouth.

"You are nothing but a tool." And now he wasn't even trying to hide his rage. "You have no free will. No desires. You exist to serve the First Order."

Those words hurt her deeply and she sighed as she knew the next words would cost her even more.

"…Then how come I think I fell in love with you ?"

There was suddenly a deafening silence.

"What...did you just say ?" he asked in a quiet voice, his jaw hanging open in disbelief.

She remained silent. They both stood in silence, the transmission filled with a palpable tension. Hux was speechless...He felt his heart freeze for a split second...

Did she just...Did she actually say what he thought she said ? His eyes darted around as he struggled to hear the sound of his own thoughts.

"What..." He said finally, quietly. "...Did you just say...you...."

He was stuttering, trying to process this information. She smiled weakly at his stuttering. She was shaking herself. She just wanted him to see her as something else than just a stormtrooper.

"…I think I fell in love with you."

If she was expecting a reaction from him...She got it. Silence...Followed by a deep breath as his hands started quivering. She had just said the words...The words that he had feared the most. That the feeling he was holding on to...That was growing with each passing day...Was real. She had admitted that...She...She did fell in love...With him. And he felt his heart skip a beat.

But, he quickly composed himself and his eyes let no emotion show.

Finally, Hux spoke again. "Did you...really think that I would abandon my plans for you ?" he asked, his voice low and ominous.

He took a step closer to the transmission device, his face mere inches from hers. "You're a valuable asset," he continued. "Something to use and manipulate for my own gain. You're nothing more than that."

His words cut like a blade. She had been prepared for a negative reaction, but this...It hit her in a way she had never expected.

She was nothing.

Just a tool to him.

Just something to be used and discarded.

Just something...Something he had never really seen as...as a person.

JR-6025's heart sank. She had held onto the hopes that he felt the same way for her. Maybe it was her naivety or just pure foolishness. But still...She had held onto hope...

But all of that shattered at his cold words...

"…Yes, sir," Her voice was void of any emotions as she said it...He could sense the emotions in her voice. Even if she had tried to hide it, he could figure out how hurt she was. How she felt like she had been betrayed. And how her heart was broken.

"You thought I loved you..." He said softly, almost whispering. "You thought we were in love."

"You kissed me, general." She reminded him.

His eyes snapped up as soon as she reminded him of that. The kiss they had shared...It felt like an eternity ago.

"That was..." He said slowly, seemingly searching for the right words. "A lapse in judgment." His tone was dismissive...But that was far from the truth.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Right…Of course."

She sounded sarcastic.

And maybe she was.

General Hux had hoped that...That by dismissing that kiss, he would break her in such a way that he could make her come back. She would run back to him...Back to the safety of his arms and the First Order.

But something told him that that would not be the case.

Hux glowered at her, his anger and frustration at an all-time high.

How dare she bring up that moment of weakness ? How dare she make him feel like a fool ?

He clenched his fists tightly at his sides, his knuckles turning white with the strain. His voice was low and seething with fury. "That was a mistake," he said, spitting out the words as if they were poison. "One I won't make again."

The bitterness in his voice was impossible to miss. Her eyes watered and she smiled weakly.

"A mistake…I see. Right. Just a mistake."

She sighed.

"Perhaps you are right. Perhaps it was a mistake. Perhaps that kiss meant nothing to you. And perhaps I am just a traitor. But…I will still see this through. I will see that future that I want. With or without your help."

She stood up and stared right at general Hux.

"I will not be returning, sir."

He seethed and shouted.

"You DARE to disobey me ?! To leave your unit, your duty to the First Order ?!"

His anger was overflowing...He was almost shaking with rage.

"Do you know what will happen to you if you do not come back ? Do you have any idea ?" He asked and shook his head in disbelief.

What an idiot…

"I don't care." She said simply, her eyes watering from the rage and pain she felt. "Whatever you do to me...You can't hurt me more than you've already hurt me."

Hux looked at her, his anger and disbelief growing in him with each one of her words. His hands were shaking and he could feel his pulse rise, making it clear of how furious he was.

"I won't ask again..." He said through gritted teeth, taking a step towards his communication device. "Where are you, JR-6025 ?"

She didn’t answer.

A cold rage began to simmer within him, building slowly until it seemed like it might burst out of him. "If you won't come back," he said, his voice low and dangerous, "then I promise you I will find you. And when I do, you will wish you had never been born."

The threat hung in the air like a dark cloud. "Do you think you can run from me ?" he continued, his voice starting to shake with anger. "Do you think you'll be able to hide ? I have resources at my disposal that you can't even begin to imagine. You will never be safe."

There were no emotions inside his voice now...Only pure cold anger.

She was defying him.

She was leaving him...

And she was choosing to live her life according to her own terms.

And in that moment...He hated her.

"You will regret every passing minute that you stayed away from me." He growled. "You will look back at your decision to disobey me as the worst mistake of your pathetic life. And when that time comes...I will not let you out of my sight ever again."

She felt the tears beginning to fall from her eyes. It hurt to hear the words coming out of his mouth. She had heard him threaten and intimidate others in the past...But this hit different...This time it was her that he was doing it to...All the anger, all the hate he hid behind his words. She was feeling it now...

"I won't return." She said, her tone breaking.

Armitage's heart was in pain now.

His fists shaking...

"It's treason, then."

He raised his right hand, pointing his finger directly at the holographic image of JR-6025. He then yelled with a hateful voice, with all his might.

"JR-6025, you are to be executed for your crimes ! And I, General Armitage Hux, will personally see to it ! Do you hear me ?" He sentenced and she closed her eyes. She knew it was coming, but she had still hoped that somehow she could be spared the heartbreak. General Hux’s chest was rising up and down...His breath short...His face red...

"Yes, sir." She said with a broken voice. The fear was in her eyes now...The desperation. She knew she didn't have much time left. She knew that once he ended the transmission, that the hunt for her would begin.

Yet still...She couldn't bring herself to say anything else right now. Her words of love weren't enough to deter his rage...Her declaration to find her own path meant nothing to him now...

He lowered his hand slowly, his breathing still quick and ragged. His face was twisted into a snarl. She could see the veins in his neck bulging under his skin. It was as if all the rage and frustration he had been bottling up had exploded out of him in one vicious burst of anger.

He stared at her through the holocomm link. "You will pay," he said in a guttural snarl. "You will pay for betraying the First Order. Mark my words."

She didn't dare to say a word as he yelled at her.

She didn't dare to look away either...

She knew that doing so would mean a lot worse than his threats.

So she just kept her eyes locked on his face.

Listening to the rage, to the words...And just letting it happen.

She didn't even try to stop the tears that were coming out of her eyes...

His face was cold and calculating. No trace of sympathy, pity, or pity. Only malice.

"You made your choice. Now suffer the consequences. I will see to it that your death is slow and painful," he said, his voice low and menacing. "You will regret the day you chose to turn your back on the First Order."

There was a glint in his eyes.

A dangerous glint.

That glint...That was not something anyone would want to experience. It meant death and torture...

"I don't want to die..." She said quietly.

The words were barely audible, almost a whisper. But he heard her. His face showed no emotions as he answered, his voice still angry and vengeful.

"You should have thought about that before you disobeyed me."

gritted her teeth.

"So be it."

"So be it," he repeated, his voice filled with venom. "I hope you're ready for what's coming, JR-6025. Because the end is near."

He was about to turn off the transmission, his face a mask of anger and hatred. He stood there in the darkness, his fists clenched at his sides, seething with rage.

"You are right. The end is near. For this STUPID war !" She stood up and went face-to-face with the hologram of General Hux. "I will put an end to this war. I WILL save you. Even if I have to drag you to reason with my own hands !"

Hux's fists were clenched, his face contorted with hatred. He was breathing heavily. His whole body was shaking with rage.

"You will do NOTHING," he spat out. "You are NOTHING but a TRAITOR. A DISOBEDIENT TOOL ! And you will pay for your crimes. I'll make sure of that."

He took a step closer towards the hologram, his face mere inches away from hers.

"I WILL save you, General Hux." She stated with complete conviction. Her eyes didn't flinch and she refused to break his gaze.

"I will not let you die in this pointless war."

Her voice was a mix of anger and desperation, but it also carried the sound of certainty.

"I said you will do NOTHING !" He screamed, his voice filled with pure hatred and rage. There was no more control in his tone, just a rage filled torrent of words, all dripping with spite and malice.

He felt like he was losing himself...

"Says who ?! You ?!" She laughed. "I am FREE ! I am free, general Hux. And I have thrown away EVERYTHING that ever made me a stormtrooper ! I am no longer under your control…I will NEVER be again."

"You are NOT free. And you NEVER will be...." He screamed, the hatred in his tone palpable. "I will never allow you to be free...Do you understand me ?"

There was nothing but pure contempt in his voice...Just pure, undiluted rage.

"I am myself ! I am FINALLY myself ! I shall NEVER go back to the First Order ! Not for you ! Not for Kylo Ren ! Not for ANYONE !" She raised her voice again and dared face him.

The look on his face was nothing short of pure rage. "You are nothing but a traitor," he snarled. "You will never be free. You belong to the First Order. You BELONG to ME."

His breathing was heavier now. His eyes were burning into hers with a cold, menacing stare.

"I belong to NO-ONE..." She shouted back. Her voice was a mix of outrage and sorrow. She was standing firm, standing her ground against the General of the First Order, against the man she thought she loved, her arms were tight against her sides and her eyes were locked to his like a vice. "I will not be controlled...Not by the First Order...! Not by you...! I will not—"

Armitage's eyes were narrowed into slits, his face contorted with hatred. The veins in his neck bulged with the force of his rage. "You're a traitor," he spat at her. "A traitor to the First Order. A traitor to all of us. You will be hunted down like the animal you are."

She chuckled at the irony.

"Me ? An animal ? No, general. I am human. But, you wouldn’t know much about that, would you ?"

Hux's lips curled into a smile, but only for a moment. Then he sneered. "You're wrong. I would know. I know you like the back of my hand, JR-6025. You're nothing but a pawn. A puppet. A slave. And you always will be."

"…Not yours." She smiled. "Not anymore."

Hux stood there, his fists clenched, his face contorted with rage. His chest rose and fell as he tried his best to control himself. He hated her at that moment. He hated her with a pure, deep hatred. And it was a feeling he'd never felt before: pure, white-hot fury. He could feel it coursing through him like liquid fire.

This was no ordinary anger. This was a primal, animalistic feeling, rooted in a deep, bitter resentment. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to make her suffer.

"I will find you..." He growled out, his tone devoid of the emotion that he tried to hide in other interactions.

"And, when I do...I will inflict pain that you will not be able to imagine." His expression was cold as ice. His voice was sharp, his words were precise. It was like a promise...And it was one he meant to keep. "Don't you dare think that you can get away from me."

Her smiled faltered at his threats and she sighed. She used to want nothing more than his approval and now…she felt as if there was nothing left to say.

"I wanted to believe in you. The Force knows I tried !" She shook her head. "I wanted to believe that you were the greatest leader the First Order had and would even see…but you disappointed me, general Hux."

She sighed.

"…You made me think that I could be more than I was. And I resent you for that."

He gripped his own transmitter and shouted.

"I don't give a DAMN about what you think of me," he spat out. The fire in his eyes was like nothing she'd ever seen before. It was a primal, animal-like rage, fueled by a hatred so intense it seemed to radiate off of him. "I don't care about you. All I care about is power and the First Order."

He took a step closer, his fists clenched so tightly it seemed like they might burst from the strain.

"You're nothing to me."

Her heart ached and she restrained tears.

"…Well then…I guess there is nothing left to say now, is there ?"

"No." He said quietly. "There isn't."

The bitterness in his voice was palpable. The hatred and disdain he felt for her was nearly overwhelming...And she could tell. She could sense how much he despised her in this moment...He was about to end the transmission...He just wanted to say one last thing.

"If you're smart...You'll go into hiding and pray that I don't find you." Hux was silent for a moment, his breathing heavy and ragged. He was angry, extremely angry, but he couldn't seem to find the words to express it. He could feel his hands shaking with rage, his heart pounding in his chest, and his vision was blurry with hot, angry tears. But he just couldn't bring himself to say anything. Instead, all he could do was stand there, seething, as his body tensed with anger and frustration. He wanted to hit something, to kick something, to break something. But he just couldn't. He just stood there, shaking.

"Goodbye. Sir." She said and took a shaky breath.

There was a moment of silence, and then General Hux said in a cold, calculating voice, "Goodbye. Traitor."

He snapped the connection off.

She was left staring at the now blank hologram, her face set in a hard expression as her heart ached from the things he had said. The General's cruel words had left her feeling more than just hurt...They had stung her in a way she didn't think was possible. Her breathing was heavy...Her hands were shaking...And she could feel the hot tears running down her cheeks.

"Goodbye. Traitor."

Those were the last words he had said to her...And they echoed in her mind. JR decided to get out of her hut and walk towards the ocean. After a while, she smiled. JR continued to stare at the ocean as she smiled, the feeling of freedom washing over her.

She felt it, and she embraced it.

She let the rain come down on her, feeling every drop against her skin as if it was a part of her.

The feeling of the water running down her hair was like a rebirth...

She was not just free of the First Order...

She was free...

Free to be who she chose...

Free to find her own path...

Free to live at last.

But then, a voice behind them startled her.

"Having fun ?" She turned around and saw Luke standing there, his blue eyes staring fixedly at her. She looked next to her for Chewbacca, but found that he had already left. She sighed. Of course.

"What is it to you ?" She replied defensively—her brows furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. "Last time I checked, the island didn’t belong to you."

He startled her once more by chuckling and shaking his head.

"You’re right. But, I remember clearly telling you that stormtroopers aren’t welcome." His features softened as he looked behind her at the sea. "But, you really aren’t a stormtrooper anymore, are you ?"

He waited for an answer and she asked herself the question. Was she ? After a moment, she smiled and shaked her head.

"No. I am not." She admitted truthfully and Luke humphed thoughtfully in response.

"Alright then. Follow me." He told her before walking away—not giving her the time to follow him easily. After a moment, she almost ran after him.

"Hey ! Wait up !" She called out for him—but he pretended not to hear her. She was certain the old man smiled a couple of times when she almost slipped in her eagerness to catch up.

"One more student will be joining us today." He simply declared to Rey who looked back and was taken aback by seeing JR-6025. But, she eventually smiled and JR-6025 smiled back before wordlessly sitting down next to her.

JR listened intently with a curious look on her face. Rey looked at JR and the happiness of her smile was contagious. Rey then gave her a quick nod, and JR smiled back in return. JR then turned to Luke, her face full of curiosity.

"One more student ?"

Luke nodded.

"I believe you have a gift. Kylo Ren communicated with you through your mind. He couldn’t have created such a link with you if you weren’t at least a little Force sensitive…"

"A gift...?" JR repeated, her brows furrowing. "You mean that I could learn to use the Force...?"

Luke sighed.

"That…remains to be seen. Your connection to the Force is weaker than Rey. But, it is there."

"But...even a little bit of the Force is still the Force, right...?" JR's question may have sounded childish, but she was just so excited that the Force might have been within her grasp. She wanted to have a special connection to the Force, to learn to manipulate it...

To learn to use it...

She would have to work hard if she wanted to be able to use the Force. The idea was intimidating, but she was eager to learn and explore her potential.

"Will...will you teach me...?"

Luke looked at her for a moment before asking:

"Would you let me ? Even though you know now that I am not the hero you thought I was ?"

JR took a moment to think...She could not deny her disappointment in Luke...But, she could also understand his reasons...In the end, she nodded.

"Yes...I would still let you teach me."

JR thought for a few moments before looking back at Luke. She paused a moment, before she continued.

"You may not be the hero I once thought you were. But, the Force called me here for a reason, and if I am truly sensitive to it, then I need to know how to use it."

She smiled at Luke.

"So, please teach me."

"Alright. Then, I will train you. But, beware. Your training will be as hard or even harder than Rey’s. Are you ready for it ?" Luke asked.

JR nodded firmly, her eyes shining brightly.

"Yes. I am ready."

Luke nodded and Rey smiled.

And hence, JR-6025’s training started. The former stormtrooper was now learning to harness the very power that she had never fully understood. She was ready and willing to learn as she had never been before. This was the start of a whole new world for her. One with peace, wisdom, truth, and enlightenment instead of war and pain.

JR was a very dedicated student. She had been raised for harsh conditions and so, Luke's training felt challenging but not impossible. The only thing that she seemed to have trouble with was meditation. She had never enjoyed sitting passively and allowing things to simply happen around her. She was used to acting and being active.

Rey tried to help her when it came to wielding a lightsaber and both women were trying to help each other during meditation and encouraging each other.

Over time, as JR's training progressed, she began to develop a strong bond of friendship with Rey. They would often encourage and support each other during training and even in their daily lives on the island.

The both of them had never felt like they belonged anywhere before, but now they found comfort in their friendship, knowing that they were in the same boat.

JR and Rey worked hard during training and both grew closer and more confident as the days went on. They would talk to each other during breaks and would often try to teach each other things they were good at.

They also made a habit of sharing small jokes and stories of their pasts when they weren't training or meditating. JR and Rey had become fast friends and both seemed to find comfort in the company of the other.

JR slowly began to learn to find peace within herself...To find that sense of calm that allowed her to access the Force. The training was hard and the meditation was exhausting, but the patience and support that Rey provided made it all that much easier to bear.

JR's bond with Rey was growing stronger with each passing day, and she was grateful to have someone who understood her and who she could trust to help her on her journey.

They were both growing in their skills and their understanding of the Force, and their friendship was a source of strength and support for each of them.

Early one morning, Rey and JR woke up and prepare themselves for their first lesson with Luke Skywalker. They both found him sitting on a rock—waiting.

"Sit."

They obeyed. Luke finally opened his eyes to look at them.

"Tell me. What is your goal ? What would you do if you were to learn to wield the Force ?"

"...The goal...?" JR repeated, her voice almost a whisper...She had taken a long time to understand that word again...She had never been taught to have goals...The First Order had only ever taught her to do whatever they told her...What was HER goal...? Was that even a question for her...

She looked around. At the sea...At the birds and the sky. She felt the wind in her hair...She felt so...free.

"…To catch the sun." She murmured. "And let it lead me to a better life."

She was silent for a couple of seconds...She would never have thought that in her darkest days...She would ever have that thought...She had not had a life worth living...

One of her own.

One that was free from fear.

One where she could do and be what she wanted.

The thought was not foreign to her, but never had she disclosed it so openly before. It was strange, but also satisfying. It was as if someone had finally opened a door—a door that she didn't even know existed until now.

The door of possibilities...

Skywalker smiled and nodded shortly before looking at Rey.

"And you ?"

Rey also looked at him. Her expression was similar to JR's as she thought about it. She was silent for a long time...

"...To...To find my place..." She said after a while. Her voice was almost a whisper. "To find where I belong..."

He nodded before giving them both stones.

"Keep that thought and concentrate on what you want. Those stones will turn your thoughts into energy…"

JR held the stone and she focused on that dream she had.

I want to be free. Live freely. Be myself.

...And the stone glowed...

It glowed a bright purple while Rey’s stone shone a light blue. Skywalker smiled.

"Alright. Those stones will serve you in building your lightsabers when you are ready. Take them as representations of your souls."

JR looked down at the stone. She looked at it in wonder...It was purple. Why was it purple ? Was that really the colour of her soul ?

...Her identity...?

"This is...mine ?" She mumbled as the stone glowed brighter.

"Yes. And they will help you whenever you feel the pull of the Dark Side. To stay and remember yourselves and who you want to be." Luke Skywalker confirmed and JR smiled as she caressed the stone with the tip of her thumb.

JR looked at the stone in awe and wondered about the meaning behind its color.

Purple ?

She had never heard of a purple lightsaber before, but then again, she had been raised to believe that Jedi only used green and blue lightsabers. The idea of her own color was exciting to her.

She turned to look at Rey and her stone, noticing it was blue.

Blue like Master Skywalker's lightsaber...

She smiled, feeling a sense of unity with Rey.

"Now, you will be tested. The stone will lead your path. Just remember that whatever you see and whatever happens, you have to get back."

JR frowned and was about to ask back from what when Luke threw black sand in the air and suddenly, the two women fell asleep.

"Close your eyes and fight against the Dark Side that is trying to control your mind…" She heard Luke Skywalker tell them before she blacked out completely.

JR closed her eyes and let herself go into a deep trance. She was aware of the dark side, and it called to her. Her thoughts began to wander and the images in her mind became more and more intense until they became vivid and disturbing...She saw herself on the bridge of a First Order starship, and her voice rang out.

"Fire."

As the Star Destroyer fired its cannons into the side of a New Republic ship, destroying it, her voice continued...

"Fire again."

"No ! No !" She screamed at herself to stop—but the other her didn’t as she mercilessly kept ordering the troops to fire.

"No ! Stop !" She tried to scream, but the voice was louder now and getting more overpowering with every word she said...The star destroyer kept firing, destroying the New Republic ship. The bridge crew of the First Order vessel just followed her command.

"Keep firing." And she couldn't control her hand...The troopers were going into panic and shouting "No" and begging her to stop, but there she was, as their commander, ordering them to continue firing...

Her mind was suddenly filled by darkness and a dark place took over…the place where nightmares and lies took shape. JR and Rey needed answers, and JR knew she didn't have the time to get them by any other means…She took a big gulp of air before entering the dark place that she feared.

She firstly saw Finn and Poe. She smiled and ran to hug them.

"Finn. Poe. Oh…I’m so glad to see you both."

But, she immediately felt as if something was wrong. She took a few steps back and saw that both men were glaring at her.

"…Traitor." They both said in unison and her eyes widened.

"W-What ?"

Poe and Finn walked towards her and their eyes only translated loathing at her. She shivered and she felt cold sweat run down her back. She kept backing away as their voices grew louder as they kept saying the same word again and again.

"Traitor. Traitor. TRAITOR !"

She fell backwards and her very soul felt sucked in by the darkness—her throat constricted by the darkness which sipped through every inch of her body. She tried to scream—but no sound came out.

Finn and Poe kept approaching her. They were growing bigger and larger with every step they took, their faces contorting with rage and anger as they kept shouting at her:

"TRAITOR ! TRAITOR !"

She fell backwards and everything went dark. Her throat was constricted, her legs felt like lead. She couldn't breathe or scream. Her soul felt like it was being sucked into the void of darkness that was taking over her...

She closed her eyes and once she opened them again, she saw a version of herself with a bog grin on her face and who quickly went to hug Lord Kylo Ren.

"We did it ! Ben ! We saved them ! All of them !"

JR saw herself scream excitedly, throwing herself in his arms while he laughed. She smiled. But then, JR’s smile dropped when she saw the Ben Solo of her vision turn pale and die in her arms. Suddenly, Ben slowly slid to the floor, but her doppelgänger got a hold of him and shook her head.

"No..NO !"

He smiled at her with half-closed eyes and touched her cheek tenderly. The real JR started crying and tried to get to Ben, but couldn’t.

"No ! I can fix this ! We can fix this ! Rey ! Rey !" Her doppelgänger cried out and Ben took her hand and shook his head with a weak smile.

"I gave my life for her…"

Her dream version looked back at him and sobbed.

"No…Why ?"

He smiled again and stroked her cheek tenderly before replying.

​​​​​​"Because, that's who I am. An idiot. An idiot to have followed such a dark path, an idiot for being blinded by my rage…And an idiot for letting you in. For letting you change me…but thank you. Thank you for letting me be Ben again."

JR waited for him to say something else, anything…But when she opened her eyes again, she was met with lifeless eyes…Ben Solo was dead. The image of his dead eyes following JR out of the vision itself.

She looked at the vision in horror as she watched her doppelgänger sob over Ben Solo's lifeless body. She heard the darkness whisper to her...It spoke of her deepest fear...Of the possibility that she had caused the death of someone she cared for...Of the fact that she might have been the one to hurt Ben...

"No...No..." She uttered in realization. She tried to walk to the vision, to help, to do something...But, the vision did not respond. It just continued to play regardless of what she tried to do.

"No ! No ! There must be another way !"

JR was horrified by the vision, she felt like she was witnessing a nightmare come true. However, JR quickly noticed that the vision seemed to be affecting her, and she knew she needed to resist the darkness that was trying to take hold of her mind.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, focusing all her energy on the purple stone that she had been given. She could feel the stone's energy spreading through her body, giving her strength and helping her resist the darkness. She remembered the lessons that she had been taught about the Force, about maintaining a connection to the light.

"Resist...Resist...Resist."

Why is this vision so painful...?

JR felt more than she ever had. A pain that went deeper than the wounds that had been inflicted upon her during her time serving the First Order…A pain that was deeper than anything she had ever felt before…It was a despair and grief that was so profound, so intense that it felt as if it was tearing apart her soul…It was so powerful, so overwhelming, that she couldn’t even bring herself to move…To run away…And she couldn’t stop crying either.

JR couldn't breathe, couldn't move. She was completely paralyzed by her worst fears. She couldn't resist the images the vision showed to her.

All sorts of possibilities were playing in her head. Was it possible that she would cause Ben's death ?

The darkness had seeped deep into her and spread like poison throughout her, corrupting her mind and making her thoughts distorted and irrational.

She tried to focus on the stone, but it felt as if the darkness was getting stronger and the stone weaker...

"…Hello, JR-6025." A voice called behind her and her breath hitched.

No…Not him. Please.

She closed her eyes and slowly turned around to find general Hux standing there.

"So…this is the end ?" He asked, not seeming particularly shocked or scared while JR was wondering what was going on. He even smiled when she faced him.

"General…I…What ?" She asked—confused. But then, her eyes looked down to see that she had a blaster in her hand—pointed at him.

"Well…I suppose that it was inevitable. If it's of any consolation, I'm happy that it's you. It makes it all the more…personal, don’t you think ?"

JR couldn't believe what she was seeing. General Hux, the one who had commanded her and the other stormtroopers for so long, was standing there smiling at her despite the gun in her hand. The thought of shooting him made her feel sick to her stomach. But he seemed unfazed, almost as if he welcomed death.

"I...I don't understand. Why are you so calm about this?" JR asked, her voice shaking.

General Hux shrugged slightly. "I've always known that this day might come. It makes it easier to accept when you're ready for it."

He looked around, the smile not leaving his face.

"I've had a good run. It was good while it lasted. But, I never was made to be in charge forever...was I ?" JR felt tears run down her cheeks, her hand shaking.​​​​​​ He chuckled and raised his arms. "Come on, JR. You know that if you don't pull that trigger, it's me who will kill you. I am ready. Are you ?"

JR's eyes were wide with shock, her arm shaking, her finger just centimeters from the trigger. She didn't know what to do...A part of her wanted to fire the weapon, to finally end this man's life, the man who had been so cruel to her and had done so many unspeakable things against the innocent people of the galaxy...But another part of her couldn't bring herself to do it.

All she felt was pain. Suffocating sadness...And despair...

​​​​​​"It's not fair ! I never wanted this ! Any of this !" She cried out.

General Hux's smile was still there, cold and calculated, but with a hint of sadness behind his eyes.

"It rarely is," he replied, "But this is the nature of things. Life is not fair. War is not fair. And we are merely pawns in a game far larger than ourselves."

He looked at the blaster in JR's hand and sighed. "So are you going to just stand there, or are you going to finish this ?"

Hux's face showed a rare moment of compassion, unlike the cruelty she had always seen in him. It was clear that he understood the pain and turmoil she was going through...

He stepped forward, his arms out as if to embrace her...

"It's okay..."

His voice was gentle, comforting....

"No. No, it’s not. It’s not." She shook her head and tried to lower the blaster—but she couldn’t.

There was a moment of complete silence, broken only by her sobbing and the sounds of the wind and the rain.

General Hux looked at her, his eyes full of acceptance.

"It's alright."

JR's hand trembled as she raised the blaster's aim, pointing directly at General Hux's chest. She couldn't bring herself to pull the trigger...

"I want to hate you. I want to hate you, but I can’t." She cried harder. "It would be so much easier…"

He chuckled. "I understand. Believe me, I know what it feels like to want to hate someone and yet be unable to do so."

He took another step closer to her, his chest just centimeters away from the blaster.

"Go ahead. Pull the trigger," he said softly, "and end this."

"No."

They stood there in silence for a moment, the only sound being the sound of JR crying. General Hux placed his hand on top of hers, steadying her shaking arm.

"JR...do what you must."

Those words broke something inside of her. All her hatred, all her pain, all her sadness came crashing down like a tidal wave, overwhelming her, and in that moment, she knew what she had to do.

"I can’t. I can’t kill you. I can’t. I…" She stopped herself and looked at him. "Please. There must be another way. I can’t…do this. Please. Please."

General Hux's expression softened slightly. He understood what she was saying, and he wished more than anything else that there had been another way...

But there wasn't...

He moved closer, placing his hand over hers on top of the blaster.

"Sometimes in life, there are no choices."

He took a step towards her and suddenly, JR pulled the trigger unintentionally. He was thrown backwards because of the force of the blast and, in his final moment, forced himself to smile at JR—blood dripping from his mouth.

​​​​​​"Goodbye, JR-6025."

He collapsed and JR’s gun fell to the floor. She took a step back. This was a nightmare. She wanted to wake up…

"Nooo !" She screamed and quickly threw the blaster away and dropped to her knees—pulling his body close to hers. "Please. No. Stay. Stay with me. Don’t go."

JR held onto his body, tears rolling down her cheeks as she begged for him to stay with her, but it was too late. General Hux was gone. She was left alone, holding onto his lifeless body, with nothing but her pain and grief to keep her company. She had hated him for so long, but now...all she felt was sadness. All she felt was the pain of losing someone she had never expected to care about.

Her pleas were ignored as he lay there, unmoving.

JR held onto his body, tears rolling down her face as she realized that he was gone. "No...please...come back..."

She continued to hold onto him tightly and shake him, hoping beyond hope that somehow, someway, he would open his eyes and look back at her once more…

But he didn't. He remained still in the darkness at her feet…cold and quiet.

She pulled his body close to hers, cradling his head on her shoulder and cried for what felt like hours until she couldn't anymore. The darkness that had been surrounding her was slowly starting to become less oppressive...and more welcoming...In the darkness, JR could feel the Dark Side growing and feeding off every negative emotion she had been feeling over the course of her life. It was like a bottomless pit that was willing to take all the suffering inside of her. Her thoughts grew distorted and she felt the cold, soothing embrace of the darkness as it enveloped her, comforting her pain and her tears.

She couldn't see anything and her thoughts grew even more warped as she felt like she was falling deeper into this pit...

"Resistance scum !" JR suddenly heard and looked around to find herself surrounded by the shadows. She narrowed her eyes as she saw red light coming through the dense dark fog. She barely managed to get out of the way as a red lightsaber almost cut off her head. She backed away and saw a dark-hooded figure stand forward. JR was panting as her heart squeezed in fear as the hooded figure stood before her and revealed its face.

Rey.

Her red eyes were looking down at her and she sneered.

"Surprised ? Of course you are...I finally took my rightful place as the Empress ! As Ren wanted. As YOU wanted. Aren’t you proud of me, JR ?The Resistance is crushed…And all that is left of it is you."

JR shook her head in disbelief as she thought about Poe, Finn and Leia…

"No. It…It can't be."

Rey laughed evilly before looking back at her disdainfully.

"How ironic, the traitor becomes the last one standing…Tell me, how does it feel to lose everything ? To have failed to save anyone, you couldn't even save your precious general Hux, of course you couldn't save me, or Ben or anyone.."

JR's heart nearly stopped at the image of Rey standing before her, a sinister and evil grin on her face, her lightsaber glowing an ominous red.

She couldn't believe it...it wasn't possible...

But the cruel, cold, and calculating look in her eyes told her everything she needed to know...

The darkness had claimed Rey, and now her only friend in the galaxy had become her worst enemy. The girl she thought she could trust and rely on had turned into a monster...and she was here to kill her.

"You are nothing but a nightmare ! An hallucination ! An apparition here to make me fall into despair and fear !" JR shouted and gritted her teeth before slowly standing up. She felt the darkness starting to wrap its tendrils around her mind, its cold touch making her shudder. However, she pushed it back with all her will, holding onto the light deep inside her. She stood tall...facing her nightmare head on...

"You think you're going to break me...but you're not. I won't let you ! I'm stronger than you give me credit for...I'm not done fighting !"

The apparition of Rey looked at her with hateful eyes. "You're right. I'm nothing but smoke and a dream. But that does not mean that what I say has no truth to it. I am just telling you what you already know. That your efforts were in vain. That you have failed everyone."

JR covered her ears while yelling.

​​​​​​"No ! Stop it !"

Rey’s voice entered her mind and JR felt her fingers dig into her shoulders.

"You thought you were a hero ? You are just a traitor…A failure. How could a traitor ever become a hero ?"

Rey’s voice distorted to resemble a mix of all the voices of the people she ever cared about…They were all repeating the same word—over and over.

Traitor.

"Please…No more." JR sobbed and sank to the floor. She had only ever wished to protect those she cared about. But by doing so, she had become a traitor to both sides. A spy from the First Order and a rebellious stormtrooper. She belong to both sides, and neither…She felt their voices in her head—accusatory and terrifying.

She felt lost.

She had already felt the pull on each side, but she was incapable of choosing. She had always complained about not having a choice, but once face with one—she found herself doubting. She didn’t know who or what to choose.

"Please…Someone…Help me. Tell me what to do." She uttered in a weak whisper and her tears doubled as she realised that no matter what—she had been conditioned to never be able to make a choice. She wasn’t capable of it. She wanted free will, but what was the point when picking a side would end up hurting the people she cared about ?

She felt such pain in her chest that she screamed—for anyone to hear her. She wanted someone to stop her inner bleeding and the conflict raging within her.

All of her fears were amplified by the illusion's voices and the darkness around her. The voices of the people she cared about repeated a single word over and over in her head: traitor.

Her failure to save anyone, to make a choice, to have a place on either side...it crushed the last bit of light she was trying to hold on to.

She felt like she was being pulled in different directions by these voices and it was too much for her to handle. She was losing touch with reality and felt like she was losing control...

Unbeknownst to her, in different parts of the galaxy, people heard her call.

Kylo Ren heard it so loud and clear that he fell backwards in shock as her scream reverberated through his head like a siren call. It was so loud and strident that he was momentarily stunned as he looked around for the source of the sound—only to find no one.

"…JR-6025." General Hux uttered in a whisper—her scream having reached even him. For the first time, he felt genuinely worried. It had been days without any transmission from JR-6025 and that scream made him ball his knuckles into fists. Where are you, JR-6025 ?

At the Resistance camp, Leia, Poe and Finn all heard her call and felt her pain. It made them immediately react. Finn stood up and his heart was beating a thousand times a minute as he felt her helplessness.

"Poe ! That was…" Finn started and Poe nodded.

"Yeah. I heard it too." He was breathless too. So much fear.

"We need to go get them." Finn said. They both turned towards Leia who remained impassive as she spoke up.

"Rey and JR are in good hands. Trust in Luke. Trust in the Force."

Back in the cave

The voices in JR’s head grew so loud with everyone hearing and feeling her pain, she was drowning in it, and the voices were starting to sound like a loud ringing in her ears that was making her head spin. The dark entity's whispers were now deafening and she couldn't hold on to any other thoughts. She felt her arms reaching out, reaching up, searching blindly for someone to come save her...

The darkness seemed to be closing in around her, its tendrils reaching for her mind...But she fought back...She closed her eyes and began to recite a Jedi mantra that she had learned from Luke Skywalker.

"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony." JR could feel the darkness slowly starting to recede...And in that moment, she felt a sudden rush of relief. Luke and Rey had also heard her call. Rey was about to wake her up—but Luke stopped her.

"No. Let her face her fears." He then turned towards JR and whispered. "Use the Force, child. Use the stone. Remember your goal. Remember…"

JR heard his voice and gritted her teeth before retrieving the stone and tightening her grasp on it. Suddenly, she felt the Force surge through her and when her eyes opened, she no longer held a stone—but a lightsaber. It lit up and she held it up in the air—chasing the shadows away.

A beam of light shone through the dark fog; a hope in the dark. JR’s eyes widened as she felt a surge of energy. She held her lightsaber up in the air, feeling its powers coursing through her body and through the air itself. The dark clouds scattered away beneath her presence like paper. As the dark haze lifted, the figures surrounding her all stepped back in fear at the sudden light. They watched as it cleared away, and all of them could see that she was now holding a lightsaber of her own—a bright beam of light piercing through the darkness.

The dark tendrils and shadows were now pushed back and she was feeling their fear and surprise. She gripped the lightsaber tightly and was now standing tall, the light from her blade illuminating her face.

She wasn’t a traitor who failed and couldn't choose anymore. She was someone who was strong and not afraid to face their fears.

The dark forces had backed away, seeing the light that had always been inside her.

She was in control...

The apparitions looked at her in surprise, their forms flickering in the light of her saber.

"Impossible," the Rey apparition whispered, "How are you doing this ?"

JR didn't answer, but instead focused on the strength of the Force that was flowing through her body. She could feel the power of the light within her...and she could feel it pushing back the darkness...

JR held her lightsaber up high, its brilliant glow illuminating the darkness that surrounded her. As the light grew stronger, so did her confidence and resolve. She could feel the Force flowing through her veins, empowering her with strength, courage, and determination to press on. The darkness seemed to retreat further as she took another step forward. Then another. And another. Until finally its tendrils had vanished completely.

JR stood there for a moment, surveying her surroundings with a newfound sense of power and clarity. She had faced down her inner demons and come out victorious...

She finally opened her eyes and saw Luke staring at her. He was stunned at the power he felt within her. It wasn’t like Kylo’s or Rey’s. It was…different. A power that came from a place unknown to him. Luke looked at her with confusion and wonderment. He sensed that there was something...different about her Force sensitivity. It seemed to be a mixture of light and dark, yet somehow...in balance.

As the light grew stronger and the darkness faded to nothingness, she felt the rush of the Force more than she had ever felt it in her entire life, and it filled her with a feeling of absolute certainty and conviction.

JR's power didn't resemble Kylo's or Rey's—it was something else entirely. It came from a place of balance and harmony, a mixture of both light and dark. Something that was somehow in equilibrium...

As the apparitions faded away, and even the darkness dissipated around her, she looked at Luke in disbelief. She then looked down at the stone in her hand as it slowly stopped glowing and she smiled—tears of joy filling her eyes.

"No more fear…" She uttered in a whisper.

The stone slowly stopped glowing as all the fears and horrors that had been haunting her disappeared in silence, leaving her free to finally breathe and smile as the peace she so greatly desired settled over her.

"No more fear," she repeated with a small smile, looking down as she clutched the stone firmly in her fist, feeling its power, while she felt the light of the Force around her and through her—a new sense of clarity, certainty, and comfort that she hadn't felt in a long time...

JR smiled and looked up at Rey who smiled back. Both of their stones lighting up.

…No more fear.

[illgiveyoueveryfirst]

hwelloooo would u be comfortable writing first kiss with gunwook? he keeps doing nootnoot and i can’t help but starting at his lips 😚

First Kiss

pairing: gunwook x gender neutral reader

summary: your best friend gunwook helps you study for an exam but silly banter soon leads to you having your first kiss with him

genre: fluff

word count: 1.7k

warnings: you're smaller than him, some parts could be read as a tiny bit suggestive

a/n: ayyy, first published story!! this got so much longer than i planned to make it but oh well, hope you like it :)

masterlist

"Come on, y/n, you're gonna fail if you don't focus", Gunwook sighs as you playfully mess with his hair.

Living in the same neighborhood, you two had been good friends for several years and got even closer when you both entered the same high school. You had an important maths exam coming up at the end of the week but really struggled with the material. Since Gunwook is top of your class, you begged him to help you study.

"Only if you promise to actually sit down and study. I know you get distracted quickly."

"Yay! I promise, thank you!", you squealed, hugging your best friend tight out of excitement.

Yet here you were, kneeling on your chair, using your hands to put his hair in a little ponytail, the textbook long forgotten.

"But we've been studying for the past 5 hours! Don't you think that's long enough? Hehe, you look like a unicorn when I do this", you giggled.

Gunwook shakes his head to make you let go of his hair.

"It's only been half an hour, y/n, and most of that time you spent messing around. Do you want me to help you or not?"

You sink back in your chair, opening your mouth to make some playful remark. You decide against it when your eyes land on Gunwook's serious expression and you realise he's genuinely worried about you failing. Taking a deep breath, you pull the textbook closer to you again and pick up your pen.

"Alright, no more getting distracted. I'm gonna ace this test!"

Gunwook chuckles at your newfound motivation and leans in closer to read out the next maths problem. When his shoulder touches yours, you feel your heart skipping a beat.

Lately, you've noticed yourself thinking about him more than usually. Makes sense, since you're now seeing him every single day in class, you've told yourself. After all, you're just friends.

You've always just been friends.

But in moments like these, when he's so close that you can smell his perfume and feel the warmth radiating from his body, your mind starts to wander. What it would be like to be more than friends. To run your fingertips over his soft skin. To feel his hands around your waist. To rest your head on his chest. To press your lips on his.

Gunwook's voice reading from the textbook pulls you out of your thoughts.

"Okay, let's go over this again", he says, pointing his pen at the numbers in front of you.

Another 15 minutes pass while you're doing your best to focus on his words instead how softly his lips move as he's explaining how to solve the equation. He has a habit of pursing them whenever he talks, effectively making him look like a duck. You always thought it was the cutest thing.

"Ah, I think I got it now! Like this?"

Your face lights up when Gunwook excitedly nods yes at your right answer.

"Yeah, exactly! Looks like you won't fail after all", Gunwook chuckles, gently hitting your shoulder. "Now let's strengthen that knowledge with some more practice."

You groan in frustration at his words. His sense for responsibility is incredibly admirable and you're grateful he's helping you but you just wanna take a break.

"Come on, Wookie, it's been almost an hour and I think I actually understand how to do it now! If I look at any more numbers, I might actually go insane."

Unfortunately, he's invested in your success now and no amount of pouting and puppy eyes can convince him.

"If you stop now, you might forget it all again and all of this will have been for nothing. Let's just finish this page and then we can take a break."

He points his pen at the next problem and you come up with a plan. Taking the opportunity, you grab the pen from his hands. Without it, he can't write down the explanations and it will force him to let you take a break. What a genius move, you think to yourself.

"Hey! Give it back!" he laughs at you.

When he reaches out for the pen, you quickly get up from the chair and hold it as high as possible. The playful smirk on his face tells you he's accepted your little game. He slowly gets up from his chair and walks towards you, making you walk backwards. As he inches closer like a cat stalking a mouse, trying not to alert it, you suddenly hit the wall behind you.

"You know I could reach that, right? I'm taller than you."

You quickly realise he's right and hide the pen behind your back instead. He's now standing dangerously close to you, towering over you. He traps you against the wall with his bare arms on each side next to your face and a victorious smirk. Being reminded of how much taller he is than you has your heart racing again.

As much as you try to suppress those thoughts, you can't help but think of what a wonderful boyfriend he would be. He's smart, funny, charismatic, tall, gentle. He smells good, has warm hands and his soft hoodies just beg to be stolen. You quickly try to shake those thoughts, telling yourself he probably doesn't feel the same way. Your best friend came over to help you with studying and here you are fantasising about dating him. He'd probably be weirded out if he knew.

"Y/n, give me back my pen. Don't make me tickle you because I will if I have to", he says in a threatening but warm voice.

Knowing you're incredibly ticklish, your eyes open wide and you know you have to find a way out. You're not willing to give him back his pen just yet though so instead you resort to sneaking out under his arms and running away.

"Not if you can't catch me!" you yell from the other side of the room.

He smiles and chases after you. The room is soon filled with the sound of laughter and the occasional "too slow!".

After a while he catches up to you and tackles you on the sofa. To make sure you can't escape again, he pins your wrists down and entangles his legs with yours. You immediately notice the warmth radiating from his body and how soft the skin of his hands is against your wrists.

Your carefree smile slowly fades as you study his features above you in awe. How plump his checks are. His soft and slightly wet lips. The way his deep brown eyes are seemingly lit up by the golden sunset shining through the window.

At this point the way he makes you feel is impossible to ignore. The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy with him being so close and all you can think about is how badly you want him to lean down and kiss you.

Even it ruins your friendship.

Gunwook must've noticed the shift in your mood because his mischievous demeanor disappeared as well. Apart from both of your breathing, the room is so quiet you could've sworn he can hear your heart thumping.

You notice his eyes trailing down to your lips and for a second your mind lands on the idea that maybe, just maybe, he might feel the same way. Before you can convince yourself of the opposite, Gunwook leans down and presses his lips against yours.

It takes a moment for you to process what is happening but when you do, your entire body reacts. It feels like the world is suddenly spinning around you. Your heart is beating faster than ever before and your stomach feels like it's been turned upside down from excitement.

His lips are so warm and smooth, it feels like a dream. You take a deep breath in through your nose, taking in the smell of his perfume mixed with his natural scent. He smells manly but like vanilla at the same time. Even though he's so tall and strong, he's pressed against you in the most gentle way possible, like you're a fragile doll and he's trying his best not to break you.

After the first moment, which felt like an eternity, his lips part from yours, only to carefully press against them again. Your mouth moves on its own and matches his sweet kisses, both of you finding a comfortable rhythm.

Suddenly he leans back up, his eyes filled with worry.

"I'm sorry, I should've asked if it's okay first. I don't know what I was thinking, you just looked so pretty lying there and-"

"Gunwook, it's okay", you smile at him, still somewhat out of breath. "I wanted you to kiss me."

He lets out a relieved sigh and gently moves a strand of hair out of your face.

"Really? Because you have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this. I've had a crush on you for ages and had no idea how to tell you."

His words sound unreal to you. He had a crush on you all this time and you didn't even notice? You grin widely as the realisation that he likes you back kicks in.

"No way! I have a crush on you too but thought you didn't feel the same way! So we were both oblivious, huh?"

He smiles and leans down again to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Well, at least we can be together now", he says but quickly concern spreads over his face. "I mean, if you want me to be your boyfriend, that is."

You laugh at how much of a gentleman he is. Hearing the word boyfriend from him feels like a dream come true.

"Of course I want that," you say, pulling him back down to you to and placing another kiss on his lips.

"Even if I tell you I'm still gonna make you finish that maths page?"

He grins at you and you both break out in laughter over his determination. But you couldn't imagine wanting anyone other than your boyfriend to help you study.