#I'm actually really happy about this little milestone
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"A Change of Opinion" is a year old!
Can't believe I've been writing my Solok/Mina fic for a whole year now! A big TY to everyone who's read it, commented, kudos'ed, and contributed through beta reading and chatting with me.
#I'm actually really happy about this little milestone#lkrambles#solok#solok/mina#mina mcmillan#the tiny hat is sending me lol
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so i don't know if this is a post i'm gonna keep up cause, like i said, i don't really like talking candidly about aspects of my personal identity often these days, and lord knows i especially hate talking about legal identity and all the dissonance that entails. but this week was a pretty big one for me and i can't shake the desire to share my enthusiasm for even just a fleeting moment.
my name has been a sticking point in my mind for a long time. i've adopted many different ones. first, middle, last, you name it. i've been searching most of my life for a moniker that represented my true self socially, and a surname to distance myself from someone in my life who hurt me very badly and never really learned how to stop.
obviously for a long time now I've been Penny Parker to 98% of people who know me, and for the past couple that number has been bumped up to a solid 99% with a few stragglers. it's a name that is so mundane and assumed at this point that tbh I've even come to resent certain aspects of it. which to me is actually beautiful. i find that mundanity, that nuance, extremely telling of how it encapsulates my life. it's a fully three-dimensional reflection, smudges and sparkles and everything in between.
of course, i only just moved out on my own 3 years ago. and unfortunately that had to be the starting point to make this social and personal progress i've been sitting on for half a decade at least now official, tangible, legal. i've been playing a game of catch-up i didn't sign up for, but it's one that does have a silver lining in that i feel more in resonance with who i am and who i want to be than i ever did before being granted this independence.
and as of this week, i have the pleasure of entering an era of my life where the dissonance between who i am in speech and who i am in contract is nonexistent. my name is Penny Olivia Parker. i'm the same as i've always been, but getting better every day at it. soon i'll even have a license to match!
sometimes more of an Olivia Parker in brief moments nowadays tbh but i haven't worked out the details yet. nothin you need to stress over, ill take care of it. the full set is just fine and legally recognized, which is all i've wanted for as long as i can remember.
this isn't the end of my journey, both excitingly and unfortunately haha, but this is yet another huge milestone for me and in certain respects it's one of the biggest i've managed. i'm so happy to still be here. if you're reading this, thank you for being here too.
also those of you who watched my direct reactions the other day might have a little more insight as to why i was so emotional that the day after a judge signed my legal name change a new game by the Sonic Mania devs was announced called "Penny's Big Breakaway" LOL, it was a lot to handle for me but i wasn't sure how much i wanted to say just yet.
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"Liam.. I thought- we- we are friends...?"
"We were friends, (Y/N). I'm just bored of you and you are of no help for me, really."
You and Liam were best friends since primary cause instead of ignoring him for his stuttering, you actually held out a hand and help him get over it bit by bit.
When Liam finally got rid of his stuttering in the first year of highschool, you were so happy for him, even felt proud. He begin having more friends, become more mature and handsome, his popularity even hit the peak after he participant in the school's talent show as a singer.
But as time goes by, you took noticed of his behaviors and actions towards you. From a gentle guy you once know, he became more harsh and occasionally lash out at you when you try to ask him to have a conversation.
It seems like the Liam you once known was not your Liam anymore, he's everybody's Liam except for you.
But you were there, you were there for him everytime he make a progress, reach a milestone and succeed a goal he wanted to achieve. You were there, on the stadium, in the crowd, by the guests lane, always watching and look out for your once to be best friend.
All of that for a sentence that would haunt you for the rest of your life, rip apart your most painful old wound that no amount of comfort can heal. That day, at the park you two would always hang out when you were little, Liam, out of all people was the one who cut the string that tied the two of you for over 10 years.
"Maybe I should've listened to the others when they said you were fucking useless. And now that I can confirm it myself, yeah, you're fucking worthless, (Y/N)."
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Yandere ex best friend, after graduated from college, succeed in the economic field and become a very famous CEO, a man of every women's dream and the man that all the other men fighting to be one day. He's hardworking, a true gentleman and a man of words, he make impressions not create disappointments. To colleagues, he's the boss that every office workers wished to have, to business partners, he shines like a true leader that leads all the cooperations to succeed.
Yandere ex best friend despite in all of his glory, hides his dark and painful past with his savior, the person he suppose to return the favor to, not to hurt them or be a bastard to. But he did, he hurt you and over all became a rude jerk to you just because he's so greedy for all the glory attention he got back then that he wanted to get rid of a dirty stain like you. He's wrong, he knew now but when he tried to turn around, you were no longer there and for the past 3 years, finding you seems like an impossible task, like you just vanish, completely vanished without a trace to track.
Yandere ex best friend suddenly got news from the workers whispers that one of his company's small agency recently hired a new secretary that boosted that agency value up so much that even the workers needed to talk about it so after dismissed all the fuss going on, Liam decided to just check it out himself.
Yandere ex best friend were just shocked and baffled by the fact that you were that secretary everyone was fussing over about, while you have a really warm look for everyone in the agency, the moment he stepped inside the place, it seems like you just put on a completely new face to greet him. Its not a annoyed face or a furious face, your expression was juts cold to say at best and even a hint of uncomfortable, fear at worst. He understands why you have those expressions directly towards him but he couldn't not notice how his heart stings whenever you look at him with those lifeless (eye color) orbs.
Yandere ex best friend immediately order the agency's director to let him have you as his personal secretary and become his right hand. Of course, when the news got out, all the workers there were just shock but it's a negative shock, they were finally have another hidden gem as their colleague just for the highest tier to came and take them away again.
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"Sir Liam Rigus, we understand that we are holding a hidden gem but you can not take them away out of thin air...!"
Your boss argue, his face is showing various kinds of emotions right now, you might seems normal but inside, you are just another disaster, all the negative thoughts and emotions together making you want to break down but don't dare to. You can not show your weakness to your enemy, the CEO of your company, the hand holding your agency on a hair string.
"Unfortunately director Ron, my words will go as planned, no argue."
And just like that, you were taken away from your new home without your consent and begin forced to work somewhere else, a new environment where you not even sure if anyone there gonna take a good impression of you or not. You can only pray.
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Yandere ex best friend ordered his personal guards to escort you and bring your belongings into his penthouse as this is where you're gonna be working from now on. With your new room next to his, work in his private office and have to share every meals with him, to you, this is a living nightmare no more no less.
Yandere ex best friend loves how your hand feels whenever you hand him the daily paperworks and random documents, he feels so content just by staring at you while you're working, the best thing for him is, you're just too focus on your work to even notice a pair of love sick yellow eyes looking at you.
Yandere ex best friend always bring you to your room whenever you passed out on your work table or accidentally fall asleep when you're talking to him about work stuffs. After tucking you in your bed, he would always leave a few kisses here and there, even check your body if you're eating well lately or not, sometimes he would just sits by your bed and stares into your cute sleeping face or some rare occasions, he'd even climb onto the bed to sleep with you. He doesn't worry about getting caught because he knows well you're a real deep sleeper, he has been watching you much and long enough to know everything, once you're asleep, you won't even know an earthquake is happening so how'd you know if he has done something more than just stare or touch?
Yandere ex best friend was having a super terrible day and you took noticed of that so you tried to not bother him at all with the paperworks despite struggling with it so bad. A maid happened to bake some sweets, you also remember that he always consume sweet food whenever he stressed out, so you give in and decided to bring him a plate of cookies but you didn't expect it to turn out so badly.
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"CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!? AREN'T YOU USELESS ENOUGH ALREADY!?"
Was all that you heard before the plate of cookies on your hands fell to the ground, shattered into pieces as the sound echos through the quiet office room. You felt as if all of your abusive memories came rushing back into your very soul as your hearing turns into loud voices speaking negatives into your head one by one more and more. You don't know, you don't feel anything, you don't event know when did you ran back into your room, lock the door tight or how panicked the maids were when you ran down the hallway with blood all over your bare legs or how horrified Liam was when he snap into his senses as he tried to catch you stop running but all he can do and is doing now is banging on the door, try to break in and stop you from hurting yourself even more.
"(Y/N)!!! Please open the door!!! Please, I'm sorry!!! (Y/N)!!!!!"
Everything turns into a blurred out vision.
The next time you opened your eyes, you found yourself on the hospital bed with your legs unable to move. Your doctor told you that due to the amount of blood lost from your legs and how damaged it was from the accident, you're completely lost your walking forever and now even have to rely on someone to take care of you. For the first time in so long, you thought about finding 'freedom' again but before you can even grab any sharp objects, Liam walks in, his eyes completely lock in on you.
"Are you happy?"
You ask him, giving him a hopeless smile with your lifeless eyes as tears begin falling down your face continuously.
"You must be so hapoy to see me like this- I bet you couldn't wait for this day to come- surely y-"
you can only laugh lightly
"(Y/N)."
He crouched down onto the hospital floor as he hold your face tenderly in his hands, wiping away any tear falling down and look straight in your eyes.
"I swear that from now on, I'll be responsible for you and for what I've done, you can just rely on me only from now on and I'm sorry."
As he awaits for your answer as you can only laugh lightly in a dying tone as if mocking him that what he's trying to do is so stupid and time wasting.
But he never go back on his words as for the next days, weeks, months then years, he really do as he said, taking care of you from A to Z without even complaining one bit but there's one thing he forbid you to do is work, he has enough to take care of you and he doesn't want you to overwork yourself anymore, he only needs you to relax and do whatever you want, of course, with a maid or a guard nearby to watch you 24/7.
After 2 years, you begin open up to him again, you begin talking to him again and slowly, you and him just turn into the pair of best friends like how you two were back in the days but some times, in the back of your head, a voice would scream out to you, telling you that you need to escape, run away from him but how far can you even go with this condition anyway so you dismissed that voice even though that voice is yours itself.
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Liam hugs you close to him as you let out soft snoring, deep asleep. He gives you a love smile and he plays with your hair.
"You don't know how long I've been waiting for a night like this to come, darling."
He traces his finger across your closed eyes then your nose and your lips. They all so delicate to him as if he's holding a flower in his arms.
"You know... when we found you unconscious in your bedroom after the broke down that door, it was a perfect opportunity for me to finally tied you here with me forever even though I felt like I should just kill myself when I realized I hurt you."
Liam put his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your comfort smell while kissing your bare shoulder.
"Your injuries weren't that servere to be honest, I knew you can recover with that amount of injuries but then you will have the chance to escape, to get away from me, leave me and abandon me again. I can't let that happen..! You know."
He then reach up to give you a deep kiss in the lips, as he parts away, he can see your cheeks turn pink from the lack of oxygen but you still deep asleep despite that.
"So I may have interfered with making you... lost your ability to walk. I didn't mean to hurt you with that- it just! Just... I wanted to keep you here but now you're here, 'you' are back also, so I can not be happier."
He laughs out a rather happy but maniac laughter as he watch his darling like admiring a gorgeous painting.
"I love you, (Y/N) and I'll make sure you know that, sooner or later."
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:3
#calmwrites#yandere#yandere drabble#yandere scenarios#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#gn reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#yandere best friend#yandere tendencies#angst
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Hi!! Can i request a hurt/comfort hotch x reader?
Reader is starting to feel lonely in the relationship cause for the past 2 months hotch has only been home for a week total and she really misses him. They haven’t had time to themselves cause even when hotch is in virginia he’s in the office and him getting called out on a case during his day off happens more often than the both of them want to. and even when they text and call it’s not the same.
anyway hotch comes home in the middle of the night after a case and he just finds reader on the sofa crying cause she just really misses her boyfriend and the two of them finally talk about it.
You have permission to break my heart with the angst and put it back together. I know its long and i have no clue if it made sense so im sorry😭😭 enjoy your day💕
༉‧₊˚. 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫
― pairing: aaron hotchner x plus size!reader
― summary: you knew that being with aaron meant that his job came first, you just hadn't realized how badly it would actually affect you. now, your life and love is on the line.
― warnings: ANGST ANGST ANGST!!! you have been warned!, thoughts of breaking up, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, hints of depression.
― wc: 905
⋆ a/n: my first long fic back being angst LMAOOOO. i'm not going to lie, writing this kind of bummed me out a bit but that's how i knew it was going to be good LOL. but never fear, i got a few smutty things in the works, so keep a silly little eye out for that!! i love you guys so so much and thank you for your request!
masterlist | AO3
The room felt melancholic. Empty.
The sounds of laughter that had once bounced off of the walls of your home now rang silently, one of the only people that knew of the joy that once made your house a home was long gone on a case right now.
You don’t know what to do. How could you last like this? How could your relationship? How could Jack?
Jack, the precious little boy that you had taken under your wing even before you and Aaron had ever made it official. You knew he missed his father dearly, but with every large life milestone the boy had completed, Aaron had missed out on. It had gotten to the point where Jack doesn’t bother to ask you if he could call his dad to tell him about it, because nine times out of ten, he knew that Aaron wouldn’t answer.
So now as you sit here on the couch in the dark with your head in your hands, you can’t help but think that maybe this was it, that it was time to consider the very dreaded other option.
You tried your best to make your relationship with Aaron work, God did you try, but having to sit there and endure weeks of radio silence, of not knowing whether or not he was alive was excruciating. When he did have time to text or call you, every conversation was more and more distant.
Hot tears rolled down your cheeks, and your bottom lip trembled. You crossed your arms and placed them on your knees where you leaned on them, staring out into the abyss of your dimly lit living room. You had just put Jack to sleep, and you didn’t want to risk waking him up.
Your eyes solemnly scaled the walls where the pictures of your little family hung, frames upon frames of happy smiling faces.
What happened?
It was the fact you were absolutely drowning in your thoughts that you didn’t hear your front door unlock – something that your boyfriend would deeply frown upon.
Aaron wasn’t surprised to find the apartment quiet, what he was surprised to find was your silhouette illuminated by a single lamp. What really set off the alarms in his brain was your shivering shoulders, which could only mean one thing.
“Sweetheart?” His deep voice pierced the thin air hovering above you. You just shook your head, any happiness that would have left your mouth died in your throat, the words leaving you was, “We have to talk.”
You hated doing this, but who’s to say he won’t get called in tomorrow? No, you had to do this now.
Aaron felt his heart fall into his stomach as he made his way over towards you, gently sitting down on the cushion next to yours, almost as if he was afraid to scare you.
“Of course. Are you okay?” He inquired in concern. You just shook your head again. “This isn’t working, Aaron.” The pain lacing your voice was unmissable. “What?” He’s completely caught off guard, because this was the last thing he’d expected to come home to.
“I can’t do this anymore… unless – unless we can figure something out but even then I-” He rushes to grab your hand, and it lays limp and cold in his warm and calloused one. “Honey please, what’s wrong? Tell me what I can do.” Holy shit, he’s panicking.
“You’re never here anymore! I - I can’t remember the last time in the past two months that we’ve been able to have any alone time together! Most of the time you’re either gone in a whole different state or stuck in the office!” You couldn’t stop the word vomit from leaving, all kinds of emotions that had been kept dormant finally coming up to the surface.
You heaved out a deep breath, your body slumping in defeat. “Did you know that Jack learned how to ride a bike today?” You asked quietly. “No.” Aaron gulped, “I didn’t.”
A heavy silence settled between the two of you.
“What do you need me to do?” Finally, you looked at him.
There were unshed tears in your eyes, “What I want you to do, you can’t make it happen.” His eyebrows furrowed. “You want me to quit my job?”
“No,” You said with a disbelieving laugh. “I just want you to be there.”
“Who says I can’t do that?” His head tilts, his eyes boring into yours, desperately trying to read you. It was like his profiler skills didn’t exist. “Every time you’ve had a day off you’ve been called into the office one way or another.” Your tone is hopeless, like your situation can’t be helped.
With a harsh squeeze of your eyelids, the tears began to fall, but Aaron was quick to swipe them away.
“Honey, look at me,” He cups the side of your cheek, his thumb brushing away the liquid. Hesitantly you did, and you instantly fell victim to the warmness of his irises. “I will fix this, because I am not losing you. My behavior has been completely unacceptable, and I swear that I will be here for you and Jack more consistently, I promise.”
“How do I know if this won’t happen again?
“I’ll make sure of it.”
It was the finality in his voice that fizzled out the anxiety in your gut, setting your nerves at ease.
“Don’t make me regret this, Hotchner.”
ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus
#✰ ― meau's inbox !#aaron x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron fanfiction#aaron hotchner fanfiction#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner angst#aaron hotchner x plus size reader#plus size reader#x plus size reader#plus size!reader#x chubby reader#chubby reader#fanfiction#angst#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner oneshot#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron cm#aaron hotchner cm#aaron criminal minds#aaron hotchner criminal minds#cm#criminal minds#cm fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction
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hi! i was just wondering if you could write some headcannons for astarion, gale, halsin, karlach, and shadowheart about what they are like when you're pregnant/them as parents to a baby
So cute! I love wholesome family requests like these!
Astarion
When you're pregnant: he tries not to be too fussy, but let's be realistic, he likes to cluck about and make sure you're okay. He gets a bit overbearing actually. "Should you be doing that if you're pregnant?" sort of thing, you have to wave him off a couple of times. When you're asleep you hear him whispering to the baby bump about how he's going to protect them, make sure nobody would ever hurt them. (Also when you're in your third trimester the two of you like to pretend that you've gone into labour to get out of social situations you don't want to be in. He's all, "we have to GO my PARTNER is giving birth RIGHT NOW" then when you're far enough away you burst into laughter)
When you've given birth: as an elf, he only needs four hours to trance a night, so he's often holding the baby when you're awake. Speaks in whole sentences, he has no time for baby talk. "babababa..." "Mm, yes darling, I'm just worried this fabric is too sheer for that particular design." Catch him watching you cradling the baby looking utterly smitten from the doorway. He's happier than he ever believed he could ever be.
Gale
When you're pregnant: constantly reading up about magic to make things easier, whether it's to ease back pain or make the delivery more comfortable. Likes to stay up late discussing baby names with you, Tara resting on your lap and cuddling happily into your belly. Also armed with facts about the growing baby is during each month of your pregnancy, lmfao.
When you've given birth: wants to be there for every milestone possible, so takes lots of paternal leave from his teaching job. Baby's first word is 'dada' and he goes crazy for it, he's so so happy. Casts little, harmless spells which make the baby giggle - summoning Dancing Lights above their head to soothe them to sleep in their crib. As the baby drifts off you can often hear him whispering that "the two of you have made my life complete."
Halsin
When you're pregnant: knows all of the natural teas he can brew to help you relax. Always offering backrubs. Talks to the bump a lot, falls asleep with you as his little spoon so he can have his hand on your belly, keep you both safe as you slumber. Waxes poetic about what your baby might look like, whose eyes it will have, whose hair. If it will take to druidic magic or something more scholarly? All he knows is that he can't wait to meet them.
When you've given birth: the baby is usually in a papoose around his chest (when you're not holding them!) He's totally caught up in how lovely they are, how the two of you made something so wonderful. When they get a little older he is a big fan of letting them ride on his shoulders, encouraging them to run their hands through leaves on the boughs of trees and answering every endless question they can think to ask.
Karlach
When you're pregnant: constantly offering to carry things for you so that you don't strain yourself. Talks to the bump all the time. "Come on, kiddo! Mama can't wait to meet you!" Loves to have her hand on your belly and gets so excited when she feels a kick! "We've got a little fighter in there, I reckon!" Every so often asks if you really think she'll be a good mum, a little bit of anxiety creeping in - but you reassure her she'll be just wonderful.
When you've given birth: always standing over the crib to look at the baby, she just seems to happy when they're peacefully asleep. Likes to hum little made-up songs to them when they're settling down for the night. If the baby starts fussing for no reason, she picks them up and bounces them around until they're both giggling wildly. She is most happy when she has you in one arm and the baby in the other 💕
Shadowheart
When you're pregnant: does a lot of healing magic to help you with your aches and pains which helps a lot. She gets super into pregnancy books and is constantly offering you suggestions for how to make things a little easier - maybe because she feels guilty that you're the pregnant one. Offers up lots of soft prayers to her goddess for a happy family and your good health. The two of you bicker good-naturedly about names but do eventually settle on one you both like - maybe after one of her parents.
When you've given birth: constantly checking in that you're alright and happy as a new parent, because she is. Always makes sure there's a bunch of night orchids in the nursery. When the baby gets a bit older and is scared of the dark, she makes sure to teach them the Light cantrip so that they always have a nightlight if they need. And she teaches them to swim, just like you taught her all those years ago.
taglist: @ghosti02art @sadandanxiouswtf @yeethaw13 @trappedinlimbo15 @infinitely-kate @dhampling @wereallbrokenangels @tilldeathdonugget (lmk if you want to be added)
#shadowheart x reader#shadowheart x tav#karlach x reader#karlach x tav#gale x reader#gale x tav#gale dekarios x reader#gale of waterdeep x reader#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin x reader#halsin x reader#halsin x tav
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Mending
Jessie Fleming x Reader
Summary: Despite how great a girlfriend Jessie is, old hurt bleeds into your relationship with her and threatens to dismantle it.
Warnings: Mentions of emotional manipulation and abuse.
A/N: Bit of angst and hurt as reader recalls past experiences, but very much a comfort and reassurance fic. Happy ending. Based on this request.
"Hey, change of plans, instead of going out for dinner after the game on Saturday, Becky's invited us all to go to her house instead."
A heavy pit immediately formed in your stomach as you read Jessie's message. You totally forgot about dinner with her and the team on Saturday. Suddenly, the memory of you agreeing to come to dinner to celebrate Becky's milestone caps was vivid in your mind, unfortunately too late though.
You chewed the inside of your lip as you stared at her message and fret about what to do.
"Jessie, I'm so, so sorry. I completely forgot. I have [y/best friend]'s birthday that night. I didn't realize when I agreed that there was a conflict. We have reservations and tickets to an event that night. I'm really sorry - I don't think I can go to your game or to Becky's after. I wish I could though."
"I can't believe I didn't notice sooner. I promise I will make it up to you. I know you have plans the next day already, but maybe we could grab breakfast together?"
"All good. I have errands to run in the morning, so can't do breakfast."
You stared at Jessie's message. It wasn't warm like her usual texts. And she didn't offer an alternative or continue the conversation. Your chest tightened.
"That's okay! I wanted to offer. I'm really sorry, Jessie. I promise I'll pay closer attention next time. Maybe I could meet you after my event is over?"
"Or maybe I can skip part of something and join you for a bit that evening?"
A couple of hours passed - no response.
You stared at the messages with Jessie and fidgeted anxiously. You were supposed to be focused on a project right now, but you hadn't typed more than 50 words since Jessie texted.
You checked your phone incessantly. Your mind knew no new texts had come through, yet you checked with blind faith and hope that you'd see a message from her.
Logically, you knew she was probably just busy. She was at training, after all. But she'd made time to text you earlier. And she'd texted at various points of training before.
Your stomach churned, a heavy, deep pit inside of you, as you wondered if Jessie was mad at you for cancelling. And did she actually have errands that morning – or was she just upset with you.
The anxiety and unrest building inside of you was a feeling that was all too familiar and it hit you hard because of it.
You tried to remind yourself that Jessie wasn't your ex. Nor was she like your ex. She wasn't someone who would manipulate you, punish you with mind games and emotional warfare, and dangle her affection above your head as a reward you may receive if you were perfect enough.
At least Jessie wasn't like that so far. It had only been a couple of months. And you've seen people take great care and patience in slowly reveal who they are – and not for the better.
You sighed and felt a lump form in your throat. You hated being stuck in this state. You finally worked up the courage to leave your ex – and she didn't make it easy – but you wanted a better life.
You didn't want to walk on eggshells anymore. You didn't want to analyze every little action and word. You didn't want to try to anticipate your partner – doing your best to ward off her bad moods and brace yourself for when you weren't successful.
So, could you cancel on [y/best friend]? Well, anything's possible. But, you didn't want to. You gave up so much of yourself and your life on account of your ex and you swore you wouldn't do it again. Not even for someone as incredible as Jessie.
Yet, here you were making unprompted, borderline-desperate accommodations. The way you fell into old, bad habits left you dejected and ashamed. It felt like no matter how hard you tried to break cycles or damaging mindsets, simple things pulled you right back.
Several hours passed and you felt like you were going to be sick. Your mind was noisy with self-reprimanding thoughts and endless theories.
On your way home, you were looking at your messages with Jessie again when the typing bubble came up. Your body stilled and your breath hitched in your chest. You mouth was dry as you waited.
"You don't have to do any of that, Y/N. Seriously. Go to your friend's party!"
What did that really mean? Maybe it should've made you feel better, but instead you felt your worry grow.
You chewed your lip and typed out a reply.
"I can do both! I want to make it work. I'm sorry – that's what I should've said from the beginning."
"What? No. You don't need to. Go to [y/best friend]'s party."
"But I want to support you. And I don't want you to think I'm not prioritizing you."
"I'm sorry. I'm not sure what's happening. I think I've said something that's come across wrong. I'm not upset or bothered at all. I know you support me and prioritize me. And to be clear, you shouldn't prioritize me above yourself or everyone else."
You read Jessie's message. While you were dissecting everything she said, this message made you slow down and take a step back. It felt genuine – as far as you could tell. Maybe it was real.
"Okay. I'm sorry. I guess I was just reading into things and getting in my head. I'm sorry."
"Baby. Are you okay? What's going on?"
Without warning, you felt tears begin to prick at the corner of your eyes. You really wanted this relationship to be different. For you to be different, and you were ruining things anyway.
You were lost in your thoughts when your phone began to vibrate in your hand. You stopped in your tracks as your eyes shot down to see Jessie's name and picture. Your pulse quickened, but in a way you weren't used to with Jessie. Normally, it was excitement and anticipation, but in this moment you felt trepidation. You started walking again and reluctantly picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hey." Jessie's voice was warm and despite your concerns, immediately comforting. "I was going to wait for your text, but I thought maybe phone would be better. Things can get misconstrued easily with text. So...what's going on? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm great." It pained you to muster up the false levity in your voice. "I'm sorry to worry you."
"You know, I'm the Canadian here, and yet you are doing an awful lot of apologizing. And you really don't need to," she offered with a soft laugh.
"I'm-" You stopped yourself with a near flinch before the word 'sorry' came out again. You took a quick breath and spoke evenly. "I'm okay. Really. Like I said, I was just getting in my head. It's all good though. Thanks for clarifying."
"Okay," Jessie said slowly, clearly not fully convinced. "I mean, can you tell me what I said that caused that? It definitely wasn't my intention."
You couldn't prevent your frustrated sigh from escaping you. You quickly spoke up to prevent Jessie from thinking it was about her.
"Honestly Jessie, it's okay. It's not on you. I just wanted to make sure I didn't upset you."
"Why would I be upset? I-" Jessie's tone was curious and not accusatory, but you cut her off.
"I wasn't paying close enough attention and I had to cancel on you. And I know your team was expecting me to be there too, so now you have to make an excuse for me." You swallowed and took a short breath, unsure if you wanted to go on or not. "And, I don't know. You seemed kind of curt? Or not that warm when you first responded? And then I didn't hear from you for a while..." Your voice wavered and trailed off as you heard your own words, a sense of anger rising inside of you at how pathetic you sounded.
"Baby," Jessie said affectionately, though you heard a faint laugh coming through the phone, "I'm really sorry. I was rushing to text you before we went out on the pitch, so that's why my texts were a bit more curt or blunt than usual, but I wanted to reply to you before I'd be gone for a while. I guess I didn't think about how that might be worse."
You listened to her reply, still feeling small, and failed to come up with a response before she spoke again.
"Are you free tonight?" She asked. "And by 'tonight' I mean in like an hour."
You stammered briefly, skepticism and confusion clouding your response before finding your voice. "Yeah." You let a beat pass. "Any reason why?" You asked tentatively.
Jessie laughed gently. "Because I'd like to come over and bring you dinner if you're up for it."
Your jaw clenched subconsciously. This didn't feel right. But still, you nodded. "Sure. That'd be nice." You couldn't stop yourself before you continued. "But you really don't need to. I've already caused issues today. Like, you don't need to change your plans or go out of your way. I'm totally fine."
"Sushi or Vietnamese?" She asked you undeterred.
"I-I don't know. Up to you."
"I would like your opinion," she continued lightly. It took you a couple of seconds to reply.
"Sushi."
"Done. I'll be at your place in about an hour, okay?"
"Jessie..." You weren't even sure what you were protesting anymore. It just all felt unfamiliar.
"I'll see you soon, babe."
True to her word, Jessie showed up at your apartment an hour later, sushi in hand.
"Hi," she said with a warm smile as she stepped in, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in for a kiss. Even though your reciprocation was delayed and mild, she pulled back and still smiled at you sweetly.
"Thank you for having me over. I got you an extra order of those dragon rolls you like," she announced as she walked further in and set the bag down on your kitchen counter. She started retrieving plates from your cupboards. You stood passively behind, watching her move through your apartment leisurely.
"What can I grab you to drink?" She asked over her shoulder as she carried everything over to your table.
"I'm fine. I have some water," you told her, feeling like your voice was disappointingly meek. You refocused a moment later and straightened, taking a step towards your fridge. "What can I get you?"
"I've got it," she assured you lightly, holding up her hands, gesturing for you to relax. "I'll grab water. Take a seat. Dig in."
You slowly made your way over to the table. Your eyes remained fixed on her as you sat down. By the time she took her seat, you hadn't even retrieved your chopsticks off the table. She held your gaze and took a sip of her drink. She set the glass down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"I was going to dig into things after dinner, but I get the sense it's heavy on your mind, so, if you're okay with it maybe we can just talk right now." It was more of a statement than a question, but she did leave the door open for you to object. When you didn't, she stood up slightly and shuffled over with her chair to sit right in front of you, your knees nearly touching.
"Is this okay?" She asked as she took your hands in hers. You gave a few faint nods and she offered you a small smile. "Okay. I guess I can start by clarifying – I didn't mean to sound curt or cold at all. I was in a rush and didn't think about how my words could come across via text. I'm glad you told me though, because now I know if there's something bigger going on I can approach things differently.
"If I don't have time to fully respond, would it be okay if I just tell you that I'm short on time but will answer you more later? And as part of that, tell you things are okay – I just want more time to give a full reply?"
Your posture straightened and you blinked as you processed her words. It just felt so strange.
"Y-yeah. That'd be totally fine." You shrugged before shutting your eyes and rethinking things. "But, that's silly. You don’t need to do that. I just should know and be able to not spiral." While you felt nervous and uncertain a few seconds ago, you now felt a wave of internal disappointment going through you. She brought you back to the moment by stroking the back of your hand with her thumb.
"I can communicate more clearly and intentionally," she assured you gently. "And you don't have to 'just know' - you're not a mind reader." She paused, holding your gaze before visibly exhaling. "But that does make me wonder. Why do you feel like you have to be a mind reader?"
You could almost feel yourself shrink under the weight of her question. You averted your gaze and could feel your hands starting to get clammy.
"Hey," she said softly, urging you to look back at her as she lifted her hand and gently cupped your cheek. "It's okay. I don't want to push you, but, I feel like there's something more going on here, and...I care for you so much. I want to better understand. Better understand you, where you're coming from, and how I can be a better partner to you."
You don't know what happened. All of a sudden you felt your face screw up as tears started to form in your eyes.
"I'm sorry," you said, your voice coming out strained. She shuffled in closer and cupped your face anew.
"Hey, hey. Don't apologize. It's okay to cry. Take your time. I'm here." She caressed your hand and though you couldn't hold her gaze for long, you felt her caring eyes upon you. "You can talk whenever you like – if you like."
A few stifled sobs snuck out of you and you rolled your eyes at your lack of composure. She waited patiently and laid a lingering kiss on your forehead. You took a few deep, steady breaths and began to speak.
"I-I don���t know where that came from," you explained, forcing a mild laugh. She didn't return your laugh and you grew serious once more. "I," you spoke and your words faded. You took another quick breath and set your shoulders back. "I'm just not used to being treated like that. Like you did just now. And," your gaze flicked away out of guilt, "I don't know what to do with it. And I have a very hard time trusting it."
Jessie pulled her hand away from your face to take your other hand again. "Okay. Um. Well, first off, I'm really sorry that you're not used to being treated that way. You deserve to be treated with respect and care." She exhaled quietly. "Can I ask how you're used to being treated?" She rushed to explain. "It's not really my business – and I don't want to open old wounds, but if I knew, it would help me ensure I don’t inadvertently make you feel that way again."
You sighed wearily, blinking back new tears. "Well, I guess they're clearly not old wounds since they flared up again so easily." You pulled your hands back and brought them up to your temples. "I'm so sorry. This is such garbage that you're having to deal with this. I thought I was better."
"Baby," she coaxed gently, placing her hands on your legs and leaning in slightly, hoping to catch your eye. "Please do not apologize. Your feelings are totally valid. And we all have our pasts, and we each have unique hurt and pain from our experiences. And some things are not easy to heal, and I think it's fair to say that in some cases, some things never do fully heal. But, I'm here to help you navigate anything you may be going through as best as possible. I'm here to care for you, not hinder you."
You dug your fingers into your face briefly before dropping them to your lap with a breath that was half sigh, half laugh. You looked at Jessie, taking in her soft brown eyes that searched yours with compassion and sincerity. How did she choose you?
"Oh my gosh." You sniffled. "No one's ever said anything like that to me. Certainly not my ex."
Quiet realization dawned on Jessie's face before she settled back in, remaining focused on you. She waited wordlessly for you to go on. You scratched the back of your head briefly, eyes trained on the floor before you forced yourself to look up at her.
"Remember how I said things with my ex were rocky at times? Well. That was putting it lightly, really." You took a breath. "She could be so affectionate and loving one moment – like I was the center of her universe, and then cold and cutting the next, like I was some burden she had the unfortunate task of dealing with. And she never meant what she actually said – I always had to read between the lines. She'd tell me things are fine, but," you laughed ruefully, "they were not. She'd be withholding, and curt, making passive aggressive remarks. But anytime I tried to address things or call her out, she would insist that it was just me and everything was fine.
"That is, until we'd inevitably have a blow out of some kind, and she'd make it very clear that it was always my fault. That I was being difficult and if she was being cold or mean, it was to protect herself and it was my fault for making her feel or act that way. "
Jessie let out a brief laugh of disbelief, looking at you in mild shock. "Are you serious? That's-" She caught herself mid-sentence, exhaling momentarily before continuing. "That's unacceptable. So she gaslit you and made you feel crazy."
"All the time."
Jessie sat back briefly, slapping a hand on her thigh as she shook her head. "Wow. That's so horrible." She leaned back in and grabbed your hands. "I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. None of that sounds fair or right. That would've been so hard to navigate." You wiped at a stray tear and let out a short, bitter laugh.
"It wasn't fun. And as you can see, it's royally messed me up." Your lip trembled. "And now you're dealing with the fallout. It's not fair to you."
"Y/N." She said your name tenderly and gave you a reassuring smile. "There is no 'dealing' here – I...I really care for you. And I want you to know that you're safe. I want you to be open and honest with me anytime something bothers you or hurts you. I want to build you up and make sure you see yourself the way I see you."
"See?" You asked, giving her a look. "I’m having a hard time reconciling these two experiences. Realities."
Jessie sighed softly and nodded. "I can understand that. I can only imagine how hard it would be to be with someone who is supposed to care for you and have your best interests in mind, but they're unpredictable or inconsistent in their feelings and actions. It would be hard to adjust after being in a relationship where your partner shows up differently depending on the day. Or uses their affection as a weapon or a bartering tool." She sighed again and lifted your hand to kiss your knuckles before clasping your hand between hers. "I'm so sorry, babe. You didn't deserve any of that."
You shook out your shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. "Except I thought I did for so long. And – I don’t know – I'm scared, I guess. She treated me so well at the beginning. And then over time things changed. Sometimes it's hard to believe that I didn't cause it in some way."
Jessie gave you a frown of concern. "You didn't. I promise you that. Everyone is accountable for their own actions – you shouldn't take responsibility or blame for her behaviour. We can all get frustrated or upset with other people – it's inevitable, but that doesn't give someone the right to mistreat anyone else." She frowned further, her tone now lowering slightly. "And she's an adult – she should be able to express her wants or needs without playing mind games with you."
You looked at Jessie, your eyes glistening with tears. You shook your head.
"Why are you being so good to me?" You looked away, frowning as your own frustration bubbled up once more. "I'm not even mad about it these days. Because I can't change the past, and I learned a lot about myself, what I want, and what I won't put up with anymore. But the worst part is that despite how much work I've done and how far I've come – you're sitting here, being incredible, saying and doing everything I ever dreamed of and all I can think is how long is it going to last until you change." You went on adamantly. "I know you're not her. At all. But, I've been burned before by someone who claimed to care. And apparently I can't seem to get over it."
Rightfully or not, you expected Jessie to get frustrated with you or even insulted by what you said. Instead, she studied you quietly and eventually her expression softened even further and she gave you a faint smile.
"You're right. I'm not her. And I hope I never meet her, because it breaks my heart to know that she hurt you so deeply. I really hope you know, or will know, that someone who loves you doesn't treat you the way she did."
She took a small breath, readjusting her position in her chair and grabbing both of your hands again. She stared down at them and started to speak.
"There's been something that I've wanted to tell you, but I haven't known when the right time would be."
She looked to you with a soft smile.
"I know someone who loves you doesn't treat you the way she did – I know that for sure - because I love you." She let the declaration hang in the air for a moment before continuing. "I love you. I have for a while now. Each day I wake up missing you if you're not next to me, and when I think of you I think of all the ways I want to love you – show you I love you. I want to make your life even better than it is today and do that for the rest of my life.
"Today, even with just the thought that I'd hurt you or upset you, I wanted to see what was wrong, what I did and how I could fix it so we can move forward together. I wanted to know how I could make you feel better. And then learning that you maybe didn't feel safe – I 100% wanted to reassure you that you should always feel safe and comfortable to feel your emotions and express yourself. I would never want you to have to edit yourself or hide.
"And I don't expect you to just 'get over' things. You are free to feel the way you feel, even if it means you can't fully trust that I'm being honest when I say these things. I hope you don't have to question these things forever, but I need you to know that I will always reassure you. And maybe even more importantly, that my actions will reflect my words."
She gave a light shrug and continued, her voice now playful. "And if you didn't notice, I'm a very patient and tenacious person, and it just so happens I'm very set on loving you for as long as you'll let me."
By the time Jessie finished speaking your lip was fully trembling and the tears were you fighting back were rolling down your cheeks. She was watching you calmly, waiting, and you covered your face with your hands. Your shoulders shook with a couple of soft sobs as you absorbed everything she just said.
She rest her hands lightly on your legs and idly caressed your knee with her thumb while she waited.
"Please don't hide," she coaxed gently. "Take your time, but you don't need to hide." A few moments passed and she added with a chuckle. "And I'm hoping those are good tears."
You laughed through your tears and lowered your hands to give her a watery smile.
"Of course they are," you told her, your voice thick with emotion. She cracked a smirk, sitting there so relaxed. You smiled further. Even if it didn't seem like it in the moment, being around Jessie always had a way of calming you and making you feel grounded. You launched forward and pulled her into a tight hug, which she readily returned with a soft laugh. She turned her head towards you to kiss the side of your head.
"I love you, too," you whispered as you gave her a squeeze and she clutched you tighter. She pulled back enough to look at you and this time she had tears in her eyes as well.
"You mean it?" She asked with a crooked and hopeful grin. You gave her a little disbelieving frown as you laughed.
"Of course I do. Jessie, how could I not love you? You're everything I could ever want," you assured her. She leaned in and gave you a soft kiss.
"I just want you to know that even though I said it, it doesn't mean you need to. If you aren't quite there yet, that's completely okay. I'm not leaving until you tell me to."
You rolled your eyes in ongoing disbelief and gave a light shake of your head. "You can't be real." She scrunched up her face at you playfully and you leaned in, holding her face in your hands as you kissed her slow. "And for the record, I am very much in love with you."
When you pulled out of the kiss, Jessie was beaming.
"Then I'm a very lucky woman," she said decisively.
#jessie fleming#jessie fleming x reader#woso x reader#woso#canwnt#jflem#woso imagine#canwnt x reader#portland thorns
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🐠 haii for the requests milestone thingy could u do pavitr prabhakar x reader and the prompt “are we ab to kiss rn” and then the other actually leans in? c: TY IF U CAN ‼️❤️💖
↳ pairing : pavtir prabhakar x g-neutral reader
↳ synopsis : request ♡
↳ authors note : EUEEUEEU this is sosososo cute actually, i love this idea sm. ATSV SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT !!! im not entirely sure if i like this.. bute eeurrueue i tried my best
You and PAVITR had known each other for a while, long enough that he trusts you with his secret of being Spiderman with how close you two were.
Now you were on one of the tallest buildings in Mumbattan, swinging your feet over the ledge as Pavitr sat beside you with his hand unintentionally holding onto yours firmly since there was a small bit of lingering fear at the idea of you falling.
"Jeez, finally.. a break." He sighs in relief, taking off his mask with his free hand as you chuckle. "Isn't being Spiderman supposed to be sooo easy, Pav?" You teased, watching him roll his eyes in amusement. "Well, of course it is. But it certainly is busy, and I really just wanna spend time with you." Pavitr answers honestly, noticing how you seemed to be even just a little surprised and he was very entertained by that idea. You can already see his own little smirk beginning to form.
You clear your throat to hopefully shift the topic. "What made you so burnt-out today then?"
It didn't take long for you to see how his face shifts to a frown, and you knew exactly what he was about to bring up. "Miguel.. he's been so hard on some of us recently, especially the new-comers who he introduced the 'canon events' to." Pavitr runs a hand through his hair, his sigh was a mix of sadness and frustration as he recalls the events that occured earlier in the day. "They just want to save their loved ones.. no one can accept that kind of information and simply allow it to happen, you know?"
You nod along with his statement, unable to even imagine the dread those people must feel, just waiting for the people they care about most to die for their own development.
"But that's a sad topic, and today is supposed to be a nice resting day for the both of us." Pavitr smiles a little to lighten the mood, squeezing your hand softly as you take a deep breath. "Mines not been the best either.."
The smile he tries to hold falters at those words.
"Mom.. she's still very insistent on the arranged marriage." You let out a forced and bitter laugh. "I don't.. I mean, I don't know if I want to marry that person when I'm older. I've met them twice, Pav. And in the future, I have to spend every single loving who is essentially a stranger. Isn't that even a little weird in my parents eyes?"
He hated seeing how hopeless you looked, having no choice in who you want to love is devestating and in some cases lonely. Seeing real couples on the street and wondering what kind of innocent love you're likely missing out on.
Pavitr stands up and your head follows him as he does so, watching his determination-filled face as he pulls you up with ease. "Let's not wallow in sadness, yes? I'd much rather see you smile than frown." His hand makes its way to your cheek, causing you to chuckle softly as you lean into the touch and place your hand over his. "Thanks, Pav."
And without thinking, the next sentence you manage to stupidly utter out is; "Gosh, I wish you were the one I married instead."
You can see the visible surprise in his face when you say that, before you realize what exactly escaped your lips. "W-wait..-"
But it seems like Pavitr seems more affected than you, the hand once placed on your cheek immediately pulled back to cover his mouth and the uncontrollable but flustered smile on his face.
"You want to marry me??"
Instead of a mocking or angry tone, he seems genuinely happy that the person he's had a secret crush on for year or so finally gives some sort of hint that he's more than a friend.
"Do you mean it? Like.. really mean it?"
"I mean, yeah! Anyone would want to marry you.."
There's silence exchanged between the two of you, staring at each other in confusion, disbelief and surprise.
"What? Are we about to kiss right now?"
Pavitr teased to ease his nerves, but imagine how much worse they got when you actually started to lean in. He begins to quietly panic, however in all honesty he wants to do nothing else but kiss you at the moment. What if he never gets the chance to do it again? He couldn't risk that.
He finally presses his lips against yours, albeit very very nervously but a kiss is a kiss and goodness is he into it. Pavitr melts into the intimacy, but is very quick to pull away incase you're uncomfortable.
It seems almost impossible how fast his heart is racing when he watches your eyes flutter open and the realization that you actually kissed Pavitr rushes through your head quickly.
...
"Can we do that again..?"
"Gladly."
#˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥ bailu's candy stash#pavitr prabhakar x reader#pavitr x reader#spiderverse x reader#spiderman atsv x reader#atsv x reader#spiderman x reader
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sungho as your boyfriend! ♡
boyfriend sungho x gn reader!!!!, fluffy fluff, he loves you so much :-(
word count: ~720
warnings: none
a/n: bf sungho everyone CHEERED!!!! i literally geeked writing the last point bc i'm madly in love with him... hope u enjoy ^_^ also he's actually so breathtaking in that pic im going crazy
likes ♡ and reblogs ↺ always appreciated!
i lowkey feel like in the start of your relationship he’s super … well mannered? not that he isn’t normally, but moreso ... the last thing he would want to do is make you uncomfortable so he goes out of his way to make sure he isn’t overstepping any boundaries until he knows you’re okay with something
the two of you are eating dinner with each other & sungho can’t stop looking at the sauce on the side of your mouth; he contemplates not saying anything about it because you look really cute when you’re enjoying the food so well…he eventually holds up a napkin by your face and he’s just like
“can i…?” once you understand what he's asking, you’re a little embarrassed because how long was there something on your face????? but regardless you give him a small nod & he gently wipes the stain off your face, as both of you struggle to keep the smiles off your own faces
always giving gifts with MEANINGS like boy will do his research and go above and beyond!!!!. and will always be so happy to explain said research if you happen to ask about it
(im specifically thinking about their debut gifts to each other and sungho was so drawn to the Meanings of the flowers he got for woonhak rather than focusing only on what they looked like)
at one of your relationship milestones, he pulls out a jewelry box. there’s a dainty ring sitting inside of it, with two gemstones planted side by side in its center. you immediately gasp because IT’S SOOOO PRETTY? but you can’t help but wonder where he got it because it looks… handmade?
“where did you get this? the gems complement each other so well!”
“ah… taesan and i went to a jewelry making workshop a couple weeks ago, so i wanted to make something for our anniversary,” he grabs your hand to place the ring on one of your fingers, finding it to be a perfect fit. “it’s not the best, but i tried my hardest. i even put our birthstones on it!”
even if sungho didn’t think the ring was perfect, it definitely was perfect to you <3
when you give him gifts he will be OVER THE MOON, esp if it was something you got for him /just cause/. he falls in love with you even more knowing that you put in the same effort he does when it comes to gifts
a necklace? he never forgets to put it on before he goes out for the day. a framed picture of you two from your first date? it lives atop his dresser for him to see every morning :3
i'm a firm believer that sungho will go out of his way to implement constant reminders of you throughout his daily routine (because you're obviously his favorite thing to think about), which is why he adores the things you get for him
u already know this man does not hesitate to serenade you whenever he gets the chance to. omygooooddd his angelic voice paired with a love song you just KNOW he is dedicating to you
plus i feel like it’d be intimate as hell…. he’s gently strumming his guitar, playing the chords to one of your favorite songs, only breaking eye contact to take a quick look back at his fingers to make sure he plays the next notes correctly OHHHH i’m in love with him i fear
when the time comes for his weekly deep clean of the dorms, he swears he’s ready to propose to you right then and there as you help him tidy up everyone’s mess LOL
sungho’s accepted the fact that he sometimes needs to clean up after the other members, but now that you’re wiping down the kitchen counters next to him as he washes the various pots and pans that have been piling up in the sink, he almost looks forward to it. it’s oddly domestic-- not that he’s complaining.
“you know, you don’t need to clean up their mess for them. it’s not like you’re their mom or something,” he says as he places another clean plate on the dish rack beside him.
“i mean, i know that. but you don’t need to either! i don’t mind helping you out if it means i get to spend some more time with you.” you shyly admit, spraying the counter with disinfectant. out of nowhere, he comes up behind you and places a sweet kiss atop your head, thanking you for everything you do for him. ♡
© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!
#boynextdoor#bnd#bonedo#boynextdoor x reader#bnd x reader#bnd imagines#bnd fluff#bnd headcanons#park sungho#sungho#bnd sungho#boynextdoor sungho#sungho x reader#boyfriend sungho#sungho scenarios#x reader#kpop fic#kpop x reader#boynextdoor fanfic#boynextdoor fluff#ᯓᡣ𐭩 my writing
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ᴅᴀʏ ꜱɪx: April 19th
Syn: You make the cake and decorate for the party.
Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Reader
A/N: I'm actually really happy about how this event turned out- all the fics written in this collaboration can be read separately, but it's recommended you read them all in order :) The master list is here, go check out the other writers because they're so amazing and talented AUGH.
Warning(s): Cursing (it's Katsuki what are you gonna do), bad baking terminology, maybe ooc idk, reader is referred to as female like once- Kiri calls her ma'am, reader compliments Katsuki's ass lmao, just fluffy in general though, class 3-A, reader is in the hero course.
This was it. Tomorrow, your plan would finally be put in motion.
It was the 19th of April, and to say the very least, you were stressed.
Stressed might not be the word for it. More like anxiety, excitement and fear into one overwhelming emotion that you couldn't convey into words. Tomorrow was Katsuki’s 18th birthday. And everything had to be perfect.
You sat in your dorm room, thumbing the pages of the cookbook you so loving made him, picturing his own rough hands touching the book the same way when you gave it to him. Your heart warmed at the thought- your boyfriend never ceased to give you butterflies, even without intending to.
Doubt plagued your mind however- what if he didn’t like it? What if he thought it was too dumb, or too simple- should you have done more?!
No, you scold yourself. You needed to trust yourself. You knew Katsuki well- he excelled in the extravagant, but he still found joy in the smaller things.
Still... you couldn’t help but worry. This would be a big day for him-a huge milestone. You didn’t want to mess it up.
Setting the cookbook down, you finally place it into the bag you had for him, jet black with orange stuffing. The small action put the whole situation into perspective for you.
This was finally happening.
But you still had work to do today. Pulling out your phone, you open the messaging app, and click on the contact you needed.
You: Mission Keep Katsuki Away is a go >:)
Kiri🥊: Yes ma’am >:))
Turning off your phone, you pocket it, and leave your dorm room. All that was left to do was the cake.
After slaving through the school day, you all return to your dorms, with the exception of Kirishima and Katsuki, the former dragging the latter away for something he called “a bro date”. You chuckled at his excuse, and left them to their own devices as you returned to Heights Alliance, sending a text to Kirishima as you walked.
You: Hey! What’s your status?
Kiri 🥊: Just got to the bus! I’ll keep him busy as long as I can
You: Perfect!!
You: Thank you so much again
Kiri 🥊: No problem! He’s going to love it, you put so much work into making this special for him :D
You: Aww...thanks Kiri! Fingers crossed 😭
You weren’t terrible at baking per se, but you weren’t no Sato. And you would ask him to make the cake himself, but you didn’t want to ask too much of anyone.
So it was up to you. You wanted to make a small two-tiered cake, it would be enough to feed all of 3-A and hopefully there would be leftovers.
Sifting through the pantry you found what you needed one by one. Cocoa powder, dark cocoa powder, eggs, milk, butter, flour, baking soda, the list went on. You were making a chocolate cake, covered in dark chocolate ganache, drizzled with caramel. Katsuki wasn’t a big fan of sweets, and you knew that, but cake was cake. You also knew that he secretly did have a sweet tooth so he wouldn’t be too upset. Hopefully the bitterness of the dark chocolate would make the rest of the cake a little less sweet to align with the explosive blond’s tastes.
Grabbing three large bowls and the mixer Sato let you borrow, you get to work, mixing wet and dry ingredients separately, cracking eggs, melting chocolate, and whisking like your life depended on it.
While you baked, you popped in an earbud, sweet music, lifting your mood and dancing around the kitchen, in your own world.
And hour later, the two tiers of the cake were in the oven, (not before tasting the batter yourself of course) and you look around at the kitchen, the adrenaline rushing out of you. It was a mess. The was flour in your hair, on your face, and you’re pretty sure the cocoa powder on your shirt is going to stain.
You sigh, taking off your earbuds and pausing the music from your phone. At least the cake was done.
Grabbing the cleaning supplies from the closet, you get to work, making sure the kitchen was spotless so no one (namely Katsuki, for obviously reasons, and Ochaco and the self-proclaimed Bakusquad because they would beg you to have a taste of their own) would know what you were up to.
The cakes were done by the time you finished, taking them out of the oven and sealing the two layers together with some ganache.
You had asked Mr. Aizawa to reserve Gym Gamma for you previously, getting his permission to decorate the space for the party, and so you made your way there now, deciding to decorate the cake in the Gym itself so you wouldn’t have to move it afterwards.
You got Ochako to float the cake and the toppings for it to the gym itself, so in the meantime, you busied yourself with setting up all the food- something you didn’t want to do yesterday as it would’ve gone stale.
You recruited the help of Kaminari, Sero, Mina and Kyoka to help you carry everything- including the mini fridge you saved up to buy to store the food and drinks overnight. You’d take them out the next morning.
When you got there, you were surprised to see Midoriya, Todoroki, Tsu, Iida, and Momo there alongside Ochako who explained they all wanted to help.
You feel your smile stretch across your face, happy to see so many people who wanted to give Katsuki the best birthday ever.
Splitting up the work, Midoriya, Todoroki and Iida went to go find the plates, cups, bowls, and cutlery you bought with Mitsuki - something you thought may have been overkill, but she had planned everything down to a T.
The others flitted around, either helping to put food or drink items into the fridge, or checking to make sure nothing happened to the decorations overnight.
You took to decorating the cake. Pouring the ganache over the first tier, you used it as an adhesive of sorts and you lifted the second layer on top of it. Once you did that, you poured the remaining ganache over the entire cake, evenly, so it created a pretty coat on top that you were sure it would add a nice crunch to the cake itself.
You groaned, stabbing your spatula into the quickly hardening ganache, having to ask Todoroki to heat it up every few minutes so that it wouldn’t harden completely- an annoyingly tedious task, but you knew Katsuki hated the taste of frosting- so hopefully he would appreciate the favor.
You waited for it to harden, then adding drizzles of caramel everywhere, and strategically placing strawberries where you could for a refreshing change in flavor.
And then lastly, adding thin golden candles to the cake, ten on the bottom row, and seven on the top. Momo created a special candle shaped like one of his gauntlets that you put in the center of the circle of seven candles on the top. And finally, you were done.
Momo made another contraption for you, a tall glass dome with temperature settings that you would put on the cake to prevent the strawberry from going bad overnight. After setting the cake on its stand, you put the dome over it, thanking Momo for her help.
It was then when you received two texts.
You open the first one, snorting when you read what it has to say.
Katsu 💥🧡: Oi, I know you’re up to something- Shitty Hair just dragged me to the damn movie theater to watch some stupid Crimson Riot movie.
You: Aww it couldn’t have been that bad!!
You: Can’t the all mighty Lord Explosion Murder God Dynamight survive a short movie date?
You: Plus I told you- I'm not up to anything lmao
Katsu 💥🧡: I call bullshit
Katsu 💥🧡: Plus that movie was three damn hours- short my ass
You: To be fair, you do have a nice ass
You: I KID I KID
You: But I promise you’ll get extra cuddles when you get back my big baby
Katsu 💥🧡: Fuck off
Katsu 💥🧡: Meet me at my dorm after dinner
Katsu 💥🧡: And don’t think I’m letting at comment about my ass go
You can’t stop the amused smile from spreading across your face as you check the other text message, one from Kirishima this time.
Kiri 🥊: Hey! We’re about 15 minutes away- we'll be back around 18:32 PM
You: Kiri jesus christ- you tell me this now?!
Kiri: Sorry!!
You put your phone down, yelling at everyone to finish up and get back to the dorms as soon as possible, people scrambling around to put the finishing touches together before bolting out of the gym, you along with them.
Thankfully, you all made it back in time, flopping down on the couches just at the door opens to reveal a beaming Kirishima and a grumpy Katsuki.
The latter raises an eyebrow at all of you, sending a narrow-eyed glare at you.
“Why’re ya so outta breath?” He grunts suspiciously and you chuckle sheepishly in return.
“Mina challenged Kaminari and Sero to go a piggyback race against Todoroki and Iida.” You laugh, the lie rolling off your tongue as the others nod in agreement.
“We totally won.” Sero says smugly, and Todoroki sends him a confused look.
“But-”
Kaminari cuts him off, slinging his arm around the heterochromatic eyed boy nonchalantly. “It’s not winning if you use your quirk Todo-bro.”
Katsuki rolls his eyes, all interest in the conversation out the window, as he starts making dinner for everyone, something he started doing a while ago when he lost faith in 3-A's ability to not burn the kitchen down.
After you all settled down and ate, you and Katsuki returned to his room, making yourself comfortable in his bed as he joins you, pulling you close and letting his sore muscles melt into your embrace.
You, however, couldn’t force yourself to relax, your body buzzing with excitement as tomorrow would arrive.
Taglist ~
@gina239 @azzo0 @slayfics @peachsukii @cashmoneyyysstuff
@xbabyd0lli3x @lowkeyremi @starieq @angels-fantasy
@ah-mya @food8me @katsuisbaby @meowze4r @bigsimpo343
@seonne @wheezdostuff @berryvioo @icedemon1314 @mystic60
@kit-katsukii @stoned-anime-babe @kukikoooo
@le000xxgrd @tr-mha-fan
#katsuki bakugo#bakugou#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugo#bakugo fluff#bakugo headcanons#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugo x reader#bakugo x you#bakugou drabble#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou fluff#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x y/n#bakugou x you#mha bakugo x reader#mha bakugou#katsuki x reader#bakugo katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo x y/n#katsuki bakugo mha#katsuki x you#katsuki x y/n#⋆。‧˚ʚ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖑𝖔𝖚𝖉 𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖘 ɞ˚‧。⋆
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hello! i really enjoy your teen pm dazai stuff so can you please do a pm!teen!dazai first kiss with reader? i love the one where you wrote about meeting pm dazai
of course!!!
pm!dazai x fem!reader first kiss as teens in the PM, reader is the same age as dazai fluff fluff fluff
it all started when osamu found out about chuuya having a mission at a party. since you three were all 16, he would be at a party with other kids around your age. and when chuuya told him he was probably going to be kissing a girl before dazai, he just couldn't have that.
"i mean, dazai, i get to just meet a girl and instantly get a kiss! do you?" was one of the things the ginger said. this was their humour so he knew not to take it to heart, but, he was with a pretty girl every day. you.
although chuuya was only teasing, that couldn't be a milestone he gets to before osamu! so, naturally as a teen boy having a crush on a girl.. he came to you to complain.
the bandaged boy was lying on the couch in whoever's office you were hanging out in today. you were playing games on your laptop before he started on whatever frustrated him today.
" uhhh [name]?" he asked, sounding a little less confident than he usually does. you decided to only reply with a "mhm?" rather than ask what was wrong.
"did you know that shorty is going to a party for a mission?" annoyance clear in his voice. you groaned as the familiar losing noise came out from the game before replying to dazai. "yeah, nothing too interesting i think. it's with those annoying rich kids, there are a couple of nice ones though."
dazai carried on whining, knowing you won't shut him down. he always admired how you were there for him - even if you only saw him as a friend. or so he thought.
slowly shutting your laptop that mori gave 'strictly for work', you walked over to sit on the arm rest by his feet. leaning back on the sofa, you sighed. "he's probably having soooo much fun." osamu carried on.
"osamu,, what is really up?" you turned your head to see him slowly sitting up straighter. " i don't know! i just hate that hatrack so much why does he get to go to a party and i don't? like it's soo unfair! and mori-san should have definitely let me go like what the hell-" he began ranting.
you stood up and faced him while he sat. "that's not it, osa. what is it? you wouldn't be actually upset over this. if you were you would be with oda and ango drinking over it."
he sighed, praying his face isn't becoming red as he stood up too, so he can face you more comfortably. "he was just teasing me about getting to kiss a really pretty girl and.." he said nervously, very out of character for him. "and i don't get to kiss my pretty girl." he slipped out ever so quietly.
and you could only smile before grabbing his chin and using your thumb to reassure him. it was both of yours first kiss despite your big age. and you just pulled his face closer before the gap was closed.
it only lasted for maybe a second before you pulled away out of pure shock. a mafioso stumbling over her words with red cheeks and full of giggles. "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. osamu i'm so sorry i jus-" you quickly blurted out as he stopped you before pressing another kiss to your lips with a smile.
the both of you burst out laughing. shock, love, happiness.. all of the happy emotions filled you. was it the best kiss? no. was it your best kiss? yes.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#osamu dazai x reader#dazai osamu x reader#bsd dazai
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Bookbinder Yuu
So I should probably be focusing on my thank you fic for 1000 likes and 25 reblogs (there's probably more than that, but Tumblr only tells me about milestones, so thank you all so much for all of the likes, reblogs, and comments), but I had a thought and it's not leaving my mind, so I figured I might as well make this.
I've been getting into bookbinding lately (the process of making books) and I started imagining if Yuu was a bookbinder and their bookbinding tools got transported Twisted Wonderland along with them.
Imagine Yuu threatening people with an awl when they get upset, which happens a lot. (If you don't know what an awl is, either look it up or just know that it's a sharp tool) Ace, Grim, and Deuce to a lesser extent get threatened a lot, and Ace and Grim get stabbed a little so they know it's not an empty threat.
The carbonara guys in the cafeteria and Cater after he tricks them into painting the roses also get stabbed in Book 1, as well a lot of Savanaclaw guys in Books 2 and 3.
Basically all of the Overblot guys get stabbed at some point during their Overblot, and the few people that haven't been stabbed are Trey (although he got threatened in the library), Kalim (he's the only guy that's never been threatened), Epel (I don't know when, but he got threatened at some point), Lilia (though Yuu's definitely tried), and Silver (Yuu's considered pricking him to wake him up, but he's too nice for them to do that).
Moving onto something more wholesome, Yuu makes books as gifts for the squad. They made the Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, and Octavinelle guys fun, personalized books for Christmas, and some for Scarabia over break, and they always have a project going.
The first-years in particular are the ones that have gotten stabbed the least (minus Ace and Grim), so they get a bunch of random, really beautiful notebooks (mainly Deuce, Jack, Epel, and Sebek, since they'd actually use them), sketchbooks, and photo albums for Ortho, since he can actually use them.
The upperclassmen get less, but Yuu gives all of them at least two books at random points throughout the school year. Trey gets blank cookbook style books that he can write his recipes down in, Cater gets photo albums with covers that he can photograph for Magicam, Riddle gets actual notebooks, just with fun designs on the covers, because that's what he'd actually use.
Yuu tends to write down puzzles from their world in books for Leona, because that's something that he'd actually use, while I'm blanking on ideas for Ruggie.
Azul, Jade, and Floyd tend to get books at the same time, because Yuu doesn't want to risk upsetting one of them. The covers usually match for the Tweels and correlate with Azul's, or the Tweels get inverted designs while Azul's is similar. Inside, Azul and Jade get notebooks since they go to class and pay attention, though there's compliments and small mushroom doodles on the margins. Floyd would get sketchbooks, since he does have drawing moods occasionally.
Kalim and Jamil would usually get books at the same time as well because Yuu doesn't want Jamil to feel inferior to Kalim or something like that. Kalim usually gets sketchbooks because drawing is something fun for Kalim to do and Jamil gets either notebooks or empty cookbooks for him to fill.
Vil gets notebooks because Yuu doesn't know what else to give him, considering he's a celebrity, he can practically buy whatever he wants, so they don't expect him to really use them. (At the next joint class, they're really surprised to see him using a notebook they gave him.) Rook gets scrapbooks that he can fill with his Vil and Neige photos that he gets... somehow. Because he's Rook.
Idia either gets manga-style books that he can draw his own manga in or notebooks in which he can lore-dump for games, anime, or manga, or make theories about what happens next.
Malleus gets notebooks and he's really happy about them because they're gifts from his first friend, so he cherishes them. I have no ideas for either Lilia or Silver.
Crowley would ask Yuu why he never gets books despite the fact that he's so 'kind' to them, and they smack him in the face with a book to shut him up.
#twst#twst yuu#bookbinder yuu#ace trappola#deuce spade#cater diamond#trey clover#riddle rosehearts#jack howl#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#azul ashengrotto#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#jamil viper#vil shoenheit#rook hunt#epel felmier#ortho shroud#idia shroud#sebek zigvolt#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#silver twst#twst grim#dire crowley#bookbinding
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FINALLY! DOLLYA CONCEPT
I'll have a little look back and remember how I came up with this current Sona design. The me of 2021 definitely would look at this and go "WTF???". When I search and place old drawings side by side for comparison, It's really been a process of changing my perspective on myself and constantly finding what I want.
It'll be very random and full of my old drawings, so if you don't mind a little rambling, welcome to go under the cut and go back in time with me!
Let's start with this design. As you can clearly see it was based on how I actually look irl, from the outfit, hairstyle to make-up.
Tbf this was not my first attempt to create a Sona, but it was a huge milestone because it's 2018, the year I got into my dream Art university and left home. My style completely changed, and this Sona showed it perfectly.
I drew this with my fingers, on my broken phone, to enter a Vietnamese clothes design competition, where we modernized some traditional clothes. What I did here is a modernized Nhật Bình. I won and got my design made into real clothes and sent to me. I'm still proud of it to this day XD
It was fun! I draw her almost daily, like how I do with Lya and Lyah in this blog. I used her to make friends with other artists. I even created a gender-bent version for her : D
But the uni life was stressful, especially when I entered my third year and tried to escape my parents' grasp. They were furious and threatened me, I started working extra and do commission to pay for my own living and rent, lessons were hard, and homework and projects were pilling,... As a result, I often use my sona to stress draw.
It didn't help much, my anxieties and insecurities kept adding to the molten fire inside me, and my overthinking got worse day by day.
But then at some point, I decided to separate myself from that sona. She turned into one of my many OCs, maybe more special but I no longer see my entire self in her anymore.
I have to thank my two besties for that. They pulled me out of my darkest moments and stayed with me. They remain to be my only two most important people in this whole world.
I started to "reuse" the sona appearance into creating many other OCs for many other fandoms I joined (Cookierun, HnK, FGO, KnY, Genshin,...). I had fun jumping between different styles lol.
The idea for the current design started to take shape when one day I drew her wearing a white delicate dress (I usually just do red) and a see-through sleep dress I just bought.
Something started clicking.
Then I became an assistant for an Ero Artist. Yup. I started to be exposed to more "sexy" character designs and tbh I just love those. I love drawing female characters already, but there's something something about cute and sexy girls in lingerie... If you know what I mean.
The design slowly became clearer. Cute and pristine-white, see-through lingerie, with little four petals flowers, and little bows, perfect.
The details still varied. They depended on the style I was using or my mood, whether I wanted to go into details or not. That's the fun of drawing your own design, let's keep it.
And here we are~ Maybe it's still not final, but I'm happy with it, and that's enough for me now!
If you've been reading this far, thank you and congratulations! I will send you a kiss and wish you a good day~~ Hope you're having fun scrolling on my blog~
#Dollya concept#dollya art#Just Dollya herself#cw self destruction#cw self doubt#cw self loathing#cw self deprecation#concept art#character concept#all in all this is a fun journey
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Jimmy X Life thoughts
This is long (ft. fWhip and Scott and Joel)
TLDR: its all kinda cute but then devolves into Jimmy misery anyway even though he has done nothing
Jimmy's really cute builds??? to lure you in
Obligatory: I only talk about characters
X Life is a goddamn fever dream lol, following are some jumbled thoughts that I've divided into "Jimmy", ""fWhip and Joel", "Jeremyism" and "Scott" thoughts (all in relation to Jimmy). Shoutout to my friend for liveblogging and discussing together with me and pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could
-- Jimmy thoughts
Jimmy's actually relatively happy within this series, at least at the beginning, and there is no significant "bullying Jimmy" kind of culture thing in place here, even though chronologically this series came after and partially ran at the same time as Legacy where it was very prevelant. They even hold a 100K milestone ceremony for him and it's very cute. Namely though fWhip and Joel treat him very nicely, he even has many really cute interactions with Scott!! I'm not gonna talk about shipping past this one statement but as someone who hasn't liked fWhimmy till now and finds Flower Husbands really interesting but not always healthy, it was... Really relieving to see both of those duos be really cute for me personally. But in spite of this there's still, sigh, a lot of Jimmisery...
Pretty early on, he decides on this thing "Whoever is nice to me gets a stack of diamonds" like, my sweet cheese.... You don't need to give people so much just for being nice to you.... your bank account is in constant ruin!! Lizzie also mods in coffee stuff specifically for him and Jimmy proclaims that any profits he makes from his coffee shops he will split with Lizzie as a thanks... he's so sweet stop it
Near the beginning he's way more assertive than I've grown used to. There's a point where Scott is waiting for him and he can SEE Scott in the distance but then just strolls the shopping district while Scott tells him to hurry up only for Jimmy to mostly ignore him. Another exchange between them goes S: "did I say you could use my villager?" and Jimmy replying "Did I say you could bring me a crab that'd then kill me? Didn't THINK SOOOO!!!". There's so many moments like this and it's so... it's so awesome to see. What changed.... Why can't there be more of this...
But then at some point he starts being harsh towards himself? He starts to call himself an idiot and starts proclaiming "I hate myself" for the most understandable little mishaps and things like?? Son?? He figures out how to make his advertisement poster bigger like everyone else's is and then when he does quickly figure it out all on his own he goes "I hate myself, I really do" WHAT'S THAT FOR. WHAT'S THAT FOR JIMMY!!!! Another moment to point out, Lizzie doing a friendship test thing and she already has pictures of 3 contestants. She calls Jimmy over for him to try and qualify, and when he sees the pictures he says that those look like smart people and he doesn't think he'll make it...
This isn't exclusive to X Life but him building stuff and calling it lovely and being easily excited at discovering the most basic building tricks, but then as soon as someone else is in the picture he immediately starts downplaying himself and calling his building bad...
At some point there's a war that Jimmy really wants to avoid but he gets roped into it by Jack blowing up Peekay's house (totally obliterated that thing) and framing Jimmy for it. Later when there's a confrontation, both he and Peekay clearly know it was Jack, but they fault Jimmy anyway, saying he's escalating things when he's just like. Standing there. Jimmy even ends up asking "what can I do for you to forgive me, for something I didn't do" like no stand your ground man!! You didn't do anything!! Man.... In the end he ends up rebuilding stuff for Jack (why Jack??? I dont know) and when Jack is the first person out of the series, in his Will he stated something along the lines of "I want Jimmy executed because he did a bad job rebuilding my things". And then Jimmy gets set on fire as everyone watches him burn to death. He didn't do anything!!!!!
There's a therapy session after this in which, when Gem asks him to open up, all he says is "Yesterday I woke up and was taken advantage of, that is all"
I think it's Peekay (could be wrong) who also utterly doused Jimmy's house in water as a prank but it... was awful lol. Jimmy's house ended up with lots of holes but at least he was all "I was gonna rebuild anyway". That peeved me so much though... For comparision, Scott pulled a prank on Jimmy where he rebuilt one of his rooms upside down (so kind of moved his furniture to the ceiling) but that's high effort and funny and causes less damage so that's all fair in my books. Good prank. The water dousing was not
He and Scott had a brief prank exchange, but the ONLY thing I can think of where Jimmy was knowingly, unjustifiably in the wrong, was when he cheated on an auction by bidding on a painting after the auction had closed. And even that is such a small offense!! Genuinely all the misery he was caused was just him being caught in the crossfire of other people's shit and it's... ough I don't want to say "he has never done anything wrong" because he totally has but BARELY. Why is it always like this... Hardly ever does he do anything that warrants the things that happen to him
Jimmy's also pretty if not really nice to the mobs, vanilla and modded. In his and Scott's shelter business, he brought in a hostile mob twice with the justification "hostile mobs deserve a home too!!" </3 dawh. He'd make mobs nice enclosures... But then he fucking HATES chickens. He kills them like nothing. Proclaims "I'll enjoy every second of this". Goes "I'll kill only a few of you..." and then kills 10 of them. Violently and instantly kills one stray chicken that escaped his enclosure as Lizzie watches on in horror with the two pandas she just helped bring over. It's kind of insane?? Why.... You're a rancher at heart, what's with the chicken slaughter.... My friend pointed to him canonically being compared to a chicken once. Do with that what you will. Oh also when he came dead last in a race, his immediate reaction upon finishing was to brutally kill his horse?????????? Jimmy??????????????????????????
ALSO he's a good builder?? A lot of people have expressed that Jimmy's building skills have been getting better but I beg to differ, his builds in this series are all really charming and cute? They're not very detailed but they're simplistic and I love it, he obviously has an eye for pleasant looking builds and I'm so SO sad we don't see this too much anymore... There's also a cute moment where he builds a roof out of dirt, says he'll replace it later but apparently his commenters really liked it so he kept it... That's so Jimmy....
-- fWhip and Joel thoughts in relation to Jimmy
fWhip especially is almost (we'll get to that) undingly nice to Jimmy here, and I even felt bad for him in several instances related to Jimmy. Joel is more softspoken as he was in general 3 years ago, and was also almost (we'll get to that) totally nice to Jimmy. At some point they do a horse race and Jimmy comes in dead last but both he and fWhip cheer him on anyway. Joel says "well done Jimmy you nerd" but it's Joel so that counts as him being nice and awesome. It's also very cute that he was partially presenting Jimmy's 100K milestone ceremony, even if it was basically just him calling Jimmy a "wonderful creature" after, to quote my friend, almost vomiting on stage. But it's Joel so it counts
Joel also builds something for Jimmy at some point but whilst they're discussing what it should be like, they land on the word "broken" and Joel goes "broken, like you" and Jimmy replies "broken, like me" like????? Help me this was so early too. That came from NOWHERE. What????? Joel was nice otherwise though... except for one other moment
All three of them create a building business and do acknowledge and agree that Jimmy's not doing the hardest part (building) and doesn't get as much of the profit, seeing as he's just the receptionist. It's still a mostly happy businessship though. They get two bad reviews (from Scott and Peekay) because of Jimmy but all three of them in both instances ultimately agree that Jimmy wasn't at fault. Stuff like Joel taking down a bad review left on a sign saying "the customer isn't always right". Jimmy catches wind of a rumor at some point that he's being fired and when the awaited meeting happens, fWhip and Joel name him receptionist of the month instead, praising him for his hard work in advertising for the business and also making lots and lots of coffee (he's the only one who can even operate the coffee machine lmao. He's really proud of it too, it's very cute. He even keeps bringing it up in an effort for the other two to recognise his value before he gets the news he's anticipating). Jimmy even says "I'm glad that, yknow, you're seeing it. Cus sometimes. yknow. it's really hard for me to feel.. useful. like you guys are building spectacular things and I'm. I'm trying my best." he's genuinely so, so happy and sounds like he's on the brink of tears (claims to be as well)
BUT SIKE PLOT TWIST because I hate myself I went to skim Joel's POV too and he and fWhip actually spoke to one of the other members about Jimmy being a bad receptionist, all "it's Jimmy, you know...". fWhip enforces this and Joel even says "Not to pass blame onto Jimmy but it's all his fault" after which the firing rumor starts to spread. And as far as I could tell, it's forever left ambiguous if they were genuine to any degree when they named him receptionist of the month and this will now keep me up at night. Did they genuinely think Jimmy was at fault in spite of encouraging him that he wasn't? Did they do what they did just to make Jimmy happy even if they believed him to be at fault? Or were they talking shit that one time for no reason...
Joel makes this religion "Jeremyism" to spite Scott (for renaming a bunch of his pets) which Jimmy is the first person to join and is pretty much undyingly devoted to till the very end in spite of the fever dream that spirals from it by the end...
Ignoring that one incident of Joel and fWhip bad-mouthing Jimmy, fWhip was very nice to him, throughout Jimmy's POV at least. I'd like to especially draw attention to fWhip trusting Jimmy to show some other members how to build some houses, like, awgh,,, finally some Jimmy building ability recognition!!! Good for you fWhip!!! They almost exclusively talked in relation to businesses though and at some point made a deal with Jimmy to join Jeremyism if Jimmy would come and basically just hang out with him in the jungle or go on a little adventure. This never happened though
Joel ends up giving up his position as the Jeremyism leader "for content" (??) to anyone who can complete his death obstacle course. Jimmy does, though unfairly by accident (Joel said it was fine though), but finds at the very end of it that someone has already reached this point before him, and of course it was Scott... Scott turns Jeremyism into a proper cult by enforcing rigid rules, his leadership and word, stating that you have to die in order to leave the cult, and his right hand Lizzie demands diamonds as offerings (none of this was a thing before). None of the members seem to be fans, but Joel and Jimmy especially voice and show discomfort, though Jimmy still quickly offers up his diamonds. fWhip fucking burns himself right there thus leaving the cult (king shit) and when he comes to the window from the outside to wave at them, Jimmy is quick to call him a "traitor" and tries to block the view with blocks (this is where I feel for fWhip who has been nothing but nice to Jimmy from Jimmy's POV). Joel makes pathetic attempts at killing Scott with an anvil (fails) and then killing himself (fails)
Gem and Kath put on a therapy session at some point which Jack, fWhip and Jimmy attend. Jimmy states not to want to talk to fWhip (which again hurts) and fWhip makes a subtle jab at Jimmy for never spending time with him in his jungle like he'd promised (totally justified). Jack also hits Jimmy for being part of Jeremyism right at the start, but then when he's jokingly drowning, Jimmy saves him, and he goes "you saved me!! :D". At the end, Jimmy tries to shoot bubbles (not damaging but a nuisance) at fWhip from a distance, at which fWhip starts to run at him to try to lasso him (lassoing a player puts them in a glitchy noclip dimension which they need to relog to get out of). They run around for awhile, fWhip eventually succeeds, Jimmy relogs and then Jack fucking murders fWhip. And then says "I did it for you" to Jimmy. Which, ok. Fast progression, a little insane... fWhip comes back and claims to feel great though. Jimmy pretty much leaves and runs off at this point and unfortunately he and fWhip never make up or have another nice interaction before the finale (I'm quite sure)
Joel uhh Joel just kinda fucks off lol he doesn't even die (Jimmy fills in Joel's grave anyway though)
-- Jeremyism thoughts
Mentioned above how devoted Jimmy was to Joel's religion, and to me it really reads like him finding a home. Like, a genuine home, idk... He really did a lot for it, trying to recruit members and taking care of several Jeremy donkeys and making offerings (Joel also gifted him multiple times)
When Scott takes over, he's clearly very distraught. He tried hard to become the new leader of Jeremyism specifically to stop Scott from ruining it. And yet when Scott does, he can't help but stay, quickly labels fWhip a traitor, offers up his diamonds easily... Even as he's asking for Joel to get up there where Scott is standing, instead of Scott. Jeremyism is done for but Jimmy still holds onto an idea of it
And he does this by literally building a Jeremyism hideout secret from Scott and Lizzy, where he and the other remaining members can hang out. Like come on!! He just wants Jeremyism back... He himself states it's "all I have" and "the one real purpose I had on this server was Jeremyism. And now it's gone" (this is basically before he kills himself and ends his series)
-- Scott thoughts in relation to Jimmy
As I said, they had some really cute interactions. Scott actually treated him nicely and his teasing felt lighthearted enough to not be anything worse than that. They dress up all cute for Halloween, they shoot bubbles at each other, Scott teaches him how to ride a flying carpet, Jimmy's not afraid to be a little sassy back at him... He replaced 3 of Scott's pets as a prank because Scott had gotten him a crab that killed Jimmy at some point, and in retaliation Scott doused his house in crabs, but then they like, ate lunch together date style, it was all good and fun, mutual foolery...
And then this one episode, to quote my friend, someone pissed in Scott's cereal and he's suddenly very dismissive of Jimmy's building skills and contributions like I'd expect to see in Third Life???? They see this arguably amateurishly built hut and Scott turns to Jimmy all accusatory "did you build this??". They build an animal shelter together which is cute but then Scott dismisses Jimmy and says he did almost all of the work and proclaims that he should get almost all of the profits etc. And it pisses me off because just like in 3L, this was a building he just ripped from somewhere else to begin with!! He did lay the foundation and such but you can see Jimmy helping build a decent amount in the timelapse...
At some point he also seems ashamed to admit that Scott helped him with his storage system :(
When Scott reads out Jack's wish to have Jimmy executed, Jimmy goes and basically kneels before Scott, telling him to do it. Scott can't because of spawn protection, but Jimmy gets set on fire instead and he?? Runs to Scott??? He runs to Scott and basically kneels before him AGAIN and Scott does NOTHING and I I don't know I might be insane but. Holy shit this is a fever dream and feels like abstract symbolism but ough that hurt. That hurt a lot. Why did Jimmy run to Scott, why did he kneel/crouch before him as he was burning to death... What was he trying to do... Was he seeking something.... comfort...? Neigh... I just wish to know...
Scott in general is a fever dream in this all by himself though. They all turn up for Jack's funeral and then Scott starts talking about how he tried to be nice and expresses disappointment in having been met with disposition (finding out that Jimmy had a secret Jeremyism cove) acting all "if you want a villain I'll give you a villain!" as if he weren't already one after the cult he turned Jeremyism into and then suicide bombs the entire church still during Jack's funeral. ????? Jesus christ
This screenshot isn't relevant but Im giving it to you anyway
#whoa mama thats a lot of words. CW for like 2 mentions of self-death but its relevant#jimmy solidarity#yeah. feeling daring. maintagging this one#blabber#x life smp
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thinking about the posts about Guanyin being able to summon the spirit's of Wukong's mother for him/the stone monkeys being ghosts on ffm and I went looking and couldn't find anything already talking about this, so...
wouldn't it be awesome if something similar could be done with the Slow boiled! Pilgrims?
like, the noodle gang find a way to project their og incarnations so that Wukong can introduce the family who helped him so much to his newborn Yuebei, the infant they fought to protect as an egg. I feel like Wukong always wishes that Yuebei could have met the pilgrims, I'm sure he'd get emotional at seeing them again and getting to introducing them.
imagine at first it was just a nice thing for Wukong, but as everyone's hugging and wiping tears any emotional talk gets cut off by a baby starting to cry in another room.Wukong rushes out to find the source of the crying, and the pilgrims put the pieces together pretty quickly.
*Wukong coming back into the room with a softly cooing bundle of blankets in his arms* Ao Lie: *happy gasp* AAAAA! YOU HAD YOUR BABY!! Tripataka, like a proud dad watching their kid go through a milestone: oh my! congratulations Wukong. Sha Wujing: *sobbing at how cute baby is* Zhu Bajie: *trying to seem stoic, is also crying over the cuteness*
Wukong's crying all over again at the opportunity to show off his baby to his old friends.
I actually do have a post like this! Here!
The Noodle Gang would surprise Wukong with a visit from his old squad by using meditation skills they learned from Guanyin herself (or if not her previous disciple Red Son). Very little build up and Boom! The spirits of the OG Pilgrims are in the room. Wukong would sob with joy at seeing them again.
I love your dialogue too! The Pilgrims would be so delighted to finally meet the baby they protected for so long. Especially Ao Lie - who'd immediately start crying at the tiny black fluffball in his bro's arms.
Yuebei is *pretty confused* while all these people are here, but perks up when she recognises their voices from her time as an Egg. First person she reaches out to is the (trying to be stoic) Zhu Bajie- remembering his brash tone the most other than her own parent. This makes the big pig man start weeping like a baby.
The baby is also trying her best to grab the spirits, fascinated by their glowing, translucent forms. She makes a frustrated chirp when her tiny hand passes through Tripitaka's robes. This gets a round of laughter from the Pilgrims, as the monk uses his divine power to finally place a kiss on the baby's forehead.
A certain elephant in the room is brought up;
Sha Wujing: "Brother - did she really try eating the Samadhi Fire all the way back then?" Wukong: "Yep! Felt like she was trying to burst out of me." Zhu Bajie: "Ouch. No wonder you slipped." Ao Lie, cooing at Yuebei: "Aww! Was she craving something spicy?" Wukong: "Sort of. See, the egg naturally craved a large amount of Dao so it could develop further - and she mistook the Samadhi Fire as a type of energy she could absorb." Tripitaka: "It's lucky that she didn't. Lest you would have had another Red Child on our hands." Wukong: "Ha! Yeah... 'course she ended up eating the Bone Demon instead." The Pilgrims, a mix of shock and amazement: "What?!" "Goodness!" Ao Lie, still cooing at the baby: "Oh ho ho! After something as spicy as the Samadhi Fire, you wanted to pay safe huh? Bet that mean Bone Demon tasted like a big bland popsicle!" Yuebei: (*burp!*) Zhu Bajie, laughing uncontrollably: "Thats your answer!" The Whole Room: (*joyful laughter!*)
The Noodle Gang have to train themselves to summon the Pilgrims, and even so have to train to keep them around for more than a complete minutes at a time. Its like having a Magic meter. But they try their best to make sure Wukong has as much time with his Pilgrim brothers as possible!
#slow boiled stone egg au#stone matriarch au#sun wukong#lmk yuebei xing#lmk tripitaka#lmk ao lie#lmk zhu bajie#lmk sha wujing#lmk aus#lmk#lego monkie kid
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hi, CC!!! congrats on your milestone!!🎉 for your event, may i suggest prompt "Your heart is beating so fast right now." with Mammon
Hi, Lotus!! Thank you so much! <3
I'm so glad someone requested Mammon! I don't get to write about him too often and I need more practice with his character lol. I'm also completely obsessed with his car, so that ended up being part of this too.
Thank you for participating!
1,000 Followers Event!
GN!MC x Mammon with prompt "Your heart is beating so fast right now."
Warnings: none!
The school day was finally over and you were sitting in the passenger seat of Mammon's Demonio 666 Lexura, watching the Devildom streets going by. The radio was on, but the music was low. Mammon was humming along to the song, his eyes on the road, one hand on top of the steering wheel, the other one resting on the gear shift.
You tried not to stare at him, but it was proving to be a little difficult. There was something about the way he was when he was driving. He was focused, but it was also obvious that it was easy for him. And there was a happiness about him, a calmness that seemed to come over him when his attention was on this task. Mammon seemed to be in his element in a way that you only really saw when he was calculating financial figures.
The first few times you had ridden in Mammon's car, you had expected him to go too fast or take turns too sharply, but he surprised you. He would sometimes creep up to higher speeds, but it seemed like the moment he remembered you were with him, he slowed down again. Like he was conscious of protecting the passenger sitting beside him.
You didn't know where he was taking you. After school, he asked if you wanted to go for a drive and you had agreed immediately. It was so nice to be alone with him in his car like this, listening to music or talking about your day. He was focused entirely on you and there was no one else around to disturb you.
At first you thought he was just driving aimlessly through the Devildom, but it seemed like he must have an actual destination in mind. You couldn't help being curious.
"So where are you taking me?" you asked.
Mammon glanced over at you with a grin on his face. "You'll see."
You huffed and folded your arms. "Oh, come on, just tell me!"
But Mammon only shook his head at you. "Ya just gotta be patient, MC! We're almost there."
You sighed, but then you smiled. The way he was grinning was so cute, like he could barely contain himself.
The rest of the ride went by faster than you expected. Mammon was chatting with you the whole time, complaining about how Levi wouldn't let him borrow any more money until he paid back what he owed. You responded as you always did to this familiar dilemma. It was a comfortable conversation, an ever evolving discussion that never actually solved anything. You had discovered that a lot of times, Mammon just needed to talk. He needed to tell you what was going through his mind, but he didn't necessarily need you to fix anything. He simply trusted you with his thoughts.
When the car finally stopped, you found yourself in a part of the Devildom you weren't very familiar with. You had been there before, but only passing through. It was a section of the city that was far enough from the House of Lamentation that you just didn't find yourself there too often.
At first you were confused. There didn't seem to be anything of interest here. Just a handful of old buildings, some convenience stores, and one really tall apartment complex.
"C'mon," Mammon said, getting out of the car which he had parked at the curb.
You got out and looked around, trying to find something noteworthy. It seemed like the kind of place where you might find a casino. That would make sense and explain why Mammon had brought you here. But there wasn't one that you could see.
"Where are we?" you asked as you walked around the car to join him on the sidewalk.
Mammon offered you his hand. You looked at him, but he wasn't looking at you, clearly trying hard not to look embarrassed. You took his outstretched hand and watched the blush that bloomed across his face.
He didn't answer your question, only pulled you along with him toward the apartment building.
When you got to the door of the complex, Mammon took a shiny brass key out of his pocket to unlock it.
You frowned. "Um, what are you doing with a key to an apartment complex? Do people live here? Mammon, what is going on?"
Mammon glanced back at you, the same grin from before on his face again. "I won this key playin' poker last night! The building's not bein' used."
The door opened and Mammon pulled you inside. The lobby was a little shabby, but it certainly could've been worse. It had a decidedly goth feel, clearly sharing a decor aesthetic with the rest of the Devildom.
Mammon didn't give you time to really look at it, though, immediately pulling you over to the elevator.
"Hang on," you said. "The elevator is working? I thought you said nobody was living here."
"They're remodelin' right now," Mammon said. "Didn't ya see the lights are still on? It's fine, c'mon. You can trust the Great Mammon!"
The pleased look on his face made you laugh. You couldn't really say no, not to him. So you let him pull you into the elevator.
You started to question your decision when you saw him hit the button for the 50th floor.
"Okay, seriously, this is getting weird," you said. "Why are you taking me to the 50th floor of an empty apartment building?"
Mammon waggled the key at you. "Just wait until ya see what else this unlocks."
You were getting incredibly suspicious. Was he about to bring you to some penthouse suite where some demon had stashed a safe full of Grimm? But why would anyone leave their money behind in a building that was closed for remodeling?
You were still trying to puzzle things out when the elevator dinged and Mammon pulled you along behind him to a set of stairs that ended in another door. Mammon used the key to unlock it.
The minute you followed him out the door, you understood why you were here. The apartment building was tall and you were now standing on its roof.
The roof was flat with a little wall all around the edge. It was obvious that there had once been a small garden up here, but there were only remnants of pots and plant boxes now. They were empty, surrounded by grey concrete.
But stretching out all around you was the Devildom, fading into the horizon where it met the dark sky. The city twinkled beneath you and the stars twinkled above you and it was the most beautiful thing you had seen in a long time.
Mammon tugged you along closer to the wall at the edge of the roof. He looked back at you, a grin on his face, a light breeze rustling through his white hair. His eyes seemed to glitter with the lights all around you. The blush returned, tinging his cheeks as he pulled you closer to himself, putting his arms around your waist. And while the view was stunning, you couldn't help thinking that it didn't compare to him.
"I told ya to trust me," he said, his voice soft beside your ear.
You shivered, not from cold, but from the overwhelming sweetness of his touch. "You should have just told me where you were taking me. I was started to get really worried."
"That woulda ruined the surprise, MC," Mammon said, pulling you even closer so your body was pressed up against his.
You smiled and shook your head then looked out over the wall and down.
"Your heart is beatin' so fast right now," Mammon said quietly. "Ya scared of heights?"
You looked back at him, meeting his blue and gold eyes. "No," you said. "I'm not scared of heights."
Mammon watched your eyes, seemingly a little confused about what you were trying to say.
You decided to make it clearer and kissed him. His grip on you somehow tightened for a moment before he melted into you, the kiss growing heated and a little desperate. You knew you were making your point - that he was the reason your heart was racing.
The Devildom spread out around you, the lights of the demons living there on full display, but all you could focus on was Mammon. The feel of his lips, the warmth of his embrace, the way he had brought you out here to see this amazing view. He could have done all sorts of things with the key he had won, but the first thing he thought to do was take you to the roof, to show you the lights of the city and hold you in his arms.
1,000 Followers Event | masterlist | Thank you for reading!
#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me shall we date#omswd#obey me mammon#omswd mammon#obey me mammon x reader#obey me mammon x mc#mammon x reader#mammon x mc#obey me fanfiction#obey me fanfic#misc 1k event#misc writes
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Heya Factual! Congrats on the 23,000! Yet another well deserved milestone earned by your hard work and dedication! Really sorry about the cold- we always seem to get sick at the worst of times! Definitely don't do anything crazy till you're 100%, but thanks for making that really cute celebration piece- you can really tell how much the factual Fam cares about you from their worried expressions...and then there's Gerald, who refuses to let his happy demeanor waver for a second! Though then again, he is still quite young- he might not even understand the concept of getting sick yet!
And on that note, at least till you're better, I definitely won't send any unnecessarily exhausting Asks like last time ( thanks for answering that so thoroughly though- that was really cool! ) and just keep it simple- and my ask today is regarding the simplest Mario enemy, the goomba!
You've mentioned them in the past as beings created by Kamek- How does he do it? How long has he been doing it? Are the goombas sentient, or just savage constructs? How many are there, in ratio to the Koopas? Did the bros have to fight through a bunch of them on their way to the castle? And do any of their variants exist, such as the micro goombas, para goombas, or giant goombas? We require the Goomba Lore!
Thank you! :DD I'm doing my best to take it easy.. I've spent most of my days recently either sleeping, sitting, or playing Pokemon Scarlet XDD that's relaxing right? Yes, I believe so-
As for Gerald, he isn't ignorant to my condition- he's actually meant to be surprisingly emotionally aware. :0 He's smiling though all this because he wants the others to be happy. And if he's calm and smiling, maybe we'll smile too.. 🥺
I was intending to draw a comic that goes into Gerald's character a bit more... But I just haven't been well enough recently to take on a project like that.. :((
And don't worry about "exhausting asks", I encourage them! :D I could really use some lengthy asks as a form of distraction to be honest.. 🥹💔
Speaking of asks, about your Goomba questions..
Well, starting with Kamek actually- I have intentions to make him a few hundred years old. Being the most powerful magikoopa there ever was supposedly.. and he's been associated with the royal Koopa family for generations.. though this idea is in canon limbo, because I'm having trouble figuring how exactly he's managed to live so long. Considering how magic works in my au.. his lengthy life span shouldn't be possible..
None the less, even though I haven't gotten that idea to fit yet- I love it so much that most of the au kinda branches off from it- <XDDD so with that established, Kamek brings Goombas to "life" using magic of course!
I was thinking that the ability animate dead/inanimate things is a very complex magic that took Kamek years to learn. And he was only finally able to master it in the last 100 years or so.
Now for the Goombas, they are not sentient for sure. They are just these little.. zombie like.. machines. They start as poisonous mushrooms and when they are "brought to life", they gain this desire and need move and attack anything that doesn't appear to be a Koopa.
As for the Koopa to Goomba ratio.. I'd say they make up 1.5/10 of the kingdoms population. They are very disposable and "easy" to make.. but they are relatively fragile creatures and take a while to grow.. plus the Goombas don't live very long. Since they uproot themselves upon being "Goomba-fied", they eventually wilt and die.. :/ so that number doesn't ever go over 1.5.
I'm sure Mario and Luigi had to squash some on the way to save Peach the first time. But it was only after her rescue that one landed a bite on Luigi..
As for their variants, the micro and Giant Goombas surly exist! Though king Goomba might not because the original brown mushrooms probably don't grow that big-
As for para-goombas.. hmm.. I know there won't be any Goombas with wings going around. But perhaps there could be a Goomba that can release airborne spores.. or at the very least can attack from afar.. that could get them the title of para-goomba! :0
I think I covered everything, I hope at least-
Thank you for the ask and interest in my au! :DDD it was a nice read and took my mind off of all my ailments for a short time 🥹💖
#my response#super mario bros#i really gotta work on kameks plot holes#i want him to be super oldddd#being loyal to the koopa family for generations..#hes personally met them#all the family stories and secrets and grief this man knows...#OH OH ALSO#it would be so cool if he was 100s of years old and when you look closer at him you realize not much of his original body remains-#he would be so creepy and haunting#you'd wonder how much of this man is “kamek” and how much is a brainwashed drone meant to serve the king..#ooooo hes so fun i love kamek#i wanna draw him so baaadddd 😭😭💔
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