#I'm ace and this makes me feel weird
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I do think that Wrightworth's popularity makes the AA fandom slightly uninhabitable. I'm by no means the first person to say this, but it sure is on my mind. This isn't to say I don't understand the appeal. I do. They have some incredibly strong moments and are an interesting, compelling couple. They are also both massive bitches, which is tremendously fun. My issue lies more so in how inescapable it is.
I think both Phoenix and Edgeworth deserve the grace to be interpreted apart from each other. They are individuals, with massive lives outside of the other. I think it's really insulting when some can't bear to think of the two apart, god forbid in other relationships, for more than five seconds before they have to make a joke about how they're the most important couple. We get it. Can people talk about something else, though?
Not only that, but I yearn for more varied and nuanced depictions of their relationship, if we're using them at all. My request will always be to make it fail. They're so compelling as a failed couple. I mean, god. You, on an obsessive whim, shape your life around chasing this guy. This guy you knew for a year in elementary school. You have other reasons, but always in your mind, there he is. This thing that's just out of reach, a goal to pursue. Then it happens. You get him, and you win, and it's everything you dreamed. And then it isn't. It just doesn't work. Plain and simple, cruel and real. You're not a good couple, and it crumbles, and every time you see him from that point forward, you have this pang of anger. This feeling of betrayal. You were not what I wanted you to be.
Then there's the inverse of that. The feelings that come from being a trophy, a conquest, an item. They both lack the emotional intelligence to talk about and navigate their own feelings, with Phoenix running head-on into everything with reckless abandon, refusing to question his own motives, and Miles having a tendency to detach himself from his issues as hard as he possibly can. It's such an interesting, flawed basis for a relationship. That's just my take, though. It's how I like them, and no one else will ever be beholden to my interpretations!
I get AA is escapism for a lot of people, and if that's how it works for you, total respect. But I crave variety, god I do. It's not about being right, it's not about being wrong, I just think there are so many ways to play with these characters and the fandom is stuck in a rut of samey-same content, both happy and sad. I'm not here to shame you for liking what you like, either. I'm pretty esoteric. I mean, Jesus. There's nothing less welcome in the AA fandom than a self shipper getting between Wrightworth. I don't mind doing my own thing, and I'm happier with fewer eyes on me anyway. If my stuff upsets you, that's okay.
That being said, I think I'd have a much easier time being around the fandom if people treated it less like there was a way to interpret the games correctly. The general fandom consensus is suffocating at times. Escapism can be dangerous if you don't know how to handle threats to your perception of a made-up world. I don't mean that to be condescending, I've just been there.
It was a breath of fresh air to leave the AA fandom for a while and focus on something built upon 18 years of fan-interpretations, with no right answers. Where every artist's version of them feels drastically different. It made me realize how silly this all is. It also made me remember how sad it was that when I joined the fandom and started trying to share my opinions on certain Phoen-ish ships, a popular AA blogger publicly ridiculed me and let their followers harass me. I just don't understand why the AA fandom compels people to feel like they have to be correct about everything. I've had to be very careful not to let feelings like that sour the whole franchise for me.
I myself have veered into that territory, and it's why I don't like writing this post. I don't want to be that person. I think everyone should be able to give each other space to do what makes them happy. If common fandom interpretations are what you like, then go with those. If you're like me, though, and you've ever been nervous to share headcanons and analyses that are unpopular, this is me telling you I think you're great. Say what you want, make what you want. It doesn't have to make sense. It doesn't have to be right. People might be mean about it, but you still deserve the right to self-actualization, even if no one else likes the things you do.
It's more important for you to post what you want than for others not to see it. If you're not hurting anyone, you can always rest assured that you've no reason to entertain their ire. From the bottom of my heart, just get silly with it.
#margins#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#can you tell i saw a post that made me feel weird 😭#aa fans making fun of self shippers is like... not even upsetting on a personal level but just as a reminder of the state of the fandom#i'm so happy where i am but i know there are many others who are self conscious about going against the grain#it breaks my heart
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Larian is out for me omg
I was already having a lot of Feelings™ about Astarion but THIS conversation fucking broke me
When I tell you this is the exact kind of idea I struggled with literally just last month... And now it's put into words in this silly little game, by the number 1 "hot sexy vampire bf that everyone wants to sleep with"... Idk man it's making me feel things, holy hell
#i wasn't sure if it was bad past experiences making me struggle with this or just my being ace#either way it feels... kind of validating to see it actually adressed in this kind of context#i already loved how Astarion's character arc is handled but this just... wow#I'm glad I save-and-reloaded myself through that conversation just to see ALL the options cuz I would've missed this otherwhise#thanks Larian#bg3 spoilers#act 2 spoilers#bg3 act 2 spoilers#also yes I'm wearing his clothes#they look cute on me okay#also don't mind the weird cropping on some images#it was showing the previous screenshot in the corner and I wanted to cut that out lol
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31 + leivor for the sensory prompts 🥰🥰
as usual, i am incapable of brevity. so this one shot got away from me real fast. 🤡
31. The cold, sharp smell of the first frost.
For many weeks now, every sunrise has greeted Leofrith the same way.
Each night, long after the rest of the village has settled down to sleep, Eivor steals away into the little house of his that is tucked away in the northwest corner of the settlement. She rarely says a word as she strips herself of her outer layers, folding them haphazardly in a pile next to the hearth. She crawls under his furs and turns her back, hauling him closer by their entangled fingers until his arm lays over her waist, his palm resting over her heartbeat. She falls asleep almost the instant her head hits the pillow.
Sometimes he joins her. Sometimes he lays there, for moments or for hours with his nose nestled into her hair, and listens to her breath growing slow and deep.
[read more]
#assassin's creed#ac valhalla#eivor varinsdottir#leofrith#leovor#eivor varinsdóttir#eivor wolfkissed#eivor wolfsmal#this woman has too many variations of her name for tags rip#my fellow leofrith girlies!!! (all three of you) come get ya food.#me voice i am so touch starved you know what would fix me? writing almost 4000 words of YEARNING#i am in my feelings#i am tentatively putting this in the main tags and hoping people don't get weird about it#i feel like the vibes here might not make total sense for someone who hasn't been privy to me and parker's absolutely deranged dms#but i tried my very best <3#i seem to be in the habit of finishing one fic and then not posting anything else for two years so. i'm gonna try not to do that this time.#deathstars#answer#this is a writing tag#my fic
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oh man, what a sad feeling to realise i am running out of things to say about these games
#seeing ac content still makes me smile but a lot of the time that's it. no neuron jumpstart. no visuals and scenarios bouncing against my#brain's boundaries fighting to get out in one form or another#i am running out of words. out of ideas. out of energy.#not that it won't replenish. it always does. and i know i'll be 87 and talking about ezio still#but it's such a weird feeling. to just smile.#sofia's words#vent#ish?#i'm so tired. so burned out
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🌧️
#i think i did something weird to myself on accident#the night i found out my uncle died i was watching one piece and watched ace die#so i think now my brain is sort of#mashing the two things into one big sad thing#so now when i watch one piece and anything has to do with ace the grief is insanely overwhelming#i mean the grief and loss of that part of one piece was already highly intentional and very there#but normally i would have watched and moved on#but those two things happening on the same night for me just mixed things up for me#i feel like i associate ace's death with the grief of losing my uncle and i can't really express it well any other way#idk if any of this makes sense#but now the thought of ace makes me so sad i feel like i'm gonna throw up
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#in tags cos I'm not tryna start disk horse I just feel like ranting a bit about it cos it annoys me ahsmdhsbsgd#i'm tired of the prevalent attitude in a lot of RPG video game fandoms that men VAs suck and deserve to be ridiculed for no reason ahrbdgdgd#like it's been going on for so many years i'm tired i'm over it i'm done#having a preference for the female VAs and character options is fine lord knows i prefer to play them myself#but like mark meer??? gavin drea??? aren't bad actors???#it's a different performance and interpretation but like they're at worst FINE (but also actually good)#even in games where i have a very big preference for the female VA (ac odyssey and valhalla) the guy is still good???#i'm not big into alexios or meivor but i think their performances as deimos and odin respectively are brilliant for those stories#(and that's really a flaw in the fact they were not supposed to be main character options originally and were rewritten for that)#(so it's not on the VAs but ubisoft being dumbasses who fear making a woman the sole protagonist)#ANYWAY i know it's not that serious but it's so weird seeing people in tags on a certain post being so... nasty#about people they don't know and who afiak have been nothing but kind and appreciative of their fandoms#thank fuck honestly that bg3 doesn't have full voiced Tavs/Durges cos i know people would be freaks about the guys there too#also in games as big as these massive RPGs it's rarely just one voice director for the whole project#so a lot of the times a big reason these voice performances are very different is they're likely being directed by different people#sometimes different directors for different scenes so like. there's a lot of things that can change from page to performance because of that
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2023 reads
Adrift In Starlight
space opera adventure romance
a courtesan is hired to seduce the soon-to-be-wife of a famous actor
a historian who’s focused on her career & has no idea her marriage has been arranged by her rich parents
after a museum tour they and two co-workers accidentally resurrect an ancient alien artifact and end up on the run from the law, traveling from planet to planet
pan nonbinary transfemme MC, touch-averse ace MC
#adrift in starlight#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#I enjoyed this to an extent! but there's also things i'm iffy about.#while there’s clearly a lot of thought put into the worldbuilding and plot; it still ultimately feels like it’s built around the romance#pacings a bit weird. it goes from a to b very fast.#it really very suddenly pivots to Surviving In The Wild On A Random Planet like……..was that really your only choice??????#and then suddenly not. they resurrect this ancient alien fossil and go to its home planet and then it’s just like.#next scene now we’re on a pirate station lets go to the baths HUH???#i get that you have a magic thing that teleports you places fast but like. it doesn’t mean the narrative has to be abrupt too#there’s a lot of ace stuff but also some of it made me ????#like the author is ace but yknow sometimes intention =/= being able to portray things with nuance in writing#allo character hearing she’s ace and being like ‘oh she’ll only want friendship’ despite supposedly ‘knowing all about asexuality’#and adjacent: kinda has the vibe that her touch repulsion is Caused By something and has to be Fixed#it makes it clear that that and asexuality are two separate things and the asexual thing is def not something to be changed#but also…..regardless of sexuality; does touch repulsion need to be fixed? if someone’s fine with it?#some very….alloromantic monogamous rhetoric that felt a bit off#-and like to be clear this is me being very picky about little things but idk#another thing: the MC’s size is only mentioned in regards to people being fatphobic at her.#like not excessively but her weight is not ever described neutrally or positively at all? and since she’s thin on the cover I was like…..#is she? or is it just normal in this universe to insult someone’s size as an insult regardless?#(I do understand it can be hard for indie authors to get accurate cover models. but you could have made the contents of the book better)#this is all complaints LOL it's not terrible i gave it 3.5 stars? there's many good aspects but idk#asexual books
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mental breakdown in the tags incoming scroll past for your own well being
#so like im just WORRIED#cause like what if ive fully just convinced myself i think he's attractive but I actually dont think he is and I'm just jerking him around#and actinf like i think hes cute cause hes the first guy im not even joking basically ever since the ripe old age of 9 except for cameron#idgaf about his privacy he can fuck off but anyway he is like the first guy other than tiny little awkward 9 year olds to show me any form#of attention. and what if im craving it so bad im just convincing myself that i like him? like am i doing that? cause never in my life have#i gotten like those fucking butterflies or whatever around guys cause ive never been around them much so ive always felt so awkward around#them and just ignored them. like i even have a hard time talking to my male coworkers and looking them in the eye. and i just make up these#scenarios where every single male coworker that ever showed me any form of attention is actually secretly going to fall in love with me and#its like FUCK is that just all I'm doing? pretending? on both ends? but then i have to tell myself that my anxiety is more often than not#full of shit. but like ive craved attention all my life and what if im juat latching on to the first guy that gives that to me? i don't#wanna be that asshole. im just scared. how does everyone just date people? i thought for a while i may be ace in some way#but im also just wondering if i repressed myself that fucking much from literally age 6 that it did that much damage to me? cause ive always#been weird about myself and my body and things like that and i vividly remember wearing a tank top at age 6 in school and being freaked out#the whole day that i would get dress coded. i need to unpack this in therapy hardcore. cause i was also sa-ed when i was younger but i can't#exactly remember how old i was.#but i just think ive always repressed myself and pushed all of that down to the point that i dont know what it feels like? cause i watch#movies and read books and listen to music qnd im like hmm thats never happened to me something must be Wrong With Me.#thanks for coming to my ted talk#im so fucking nauseous#is that butterflies lmao#🎸
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sometimes all you gotta do is cut up an old thermal undershirt to make you feel
#i'm gonna safety pin a patch onto it eventually and make it look cool#i wish i did not have tiddies because it would a) make me feel better and b) make the shirt look better#ace has a weird face#....why did the filter give my pits blue highlights dhdndbdhdm
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Today I was helping run the booth for the local queer non-profit at the farmer's market and a woman told me that she would like a flag, pointing to our little bucket of flags. So I picked up the bucket and I brought it over and asked her which one she'd like.
"Well, tell me about them!"
"Oh! Okay! This one is the inclusion flag- its for everyone, including allies."
"What's this one?"
"That's the bisexual flag: it represents people who are attracted to two or more genders."
"Hmm... what about this one?"
"That's the nonbinary flag: it represents people whose gender isn't strictly 'male or female.'"
"Hmm... what's this purple one?"
"That's the asexual flag: it represents people who may not feel sexual attraction the way that others do."
She put her hand to her chest and got this really curious look on her face. "Tell me more about that!"
"Oh, happy to! So like if you're out with your bestie and someone real fine walks by and she's like 'omg look at him' and you're like 'girl get a grip?' Or like you just don't get what the 'big deal' is about sex or why everyone is so weird about it? But there's also room for like- you don't fall in love with the way someone looks, you're attracted to the person- their sense of humor and their kindness, or there's something about their personality that just makes it click for you? That's asexuality, too!"
And she got real quiet and seemed to think about it for a minute. So I grabbed our little informational sheet about different queer identities and handed her a copy. "If you want to do some research, this is probably a great place to start."
She thanked me and took an ace flag, stuck it in her hair.
Sometimes when you're online all the time, its easy to think that 'everyone knows about (topic), there's no reason to keep talking about it so much.' But while the people on the internet are real people, the internet ISN'T real life. And there are lots of people who do need to know that they do have community!
One of the jokes is that I'm a lot of people's 'patient zero' for discovering that they're queer. This is why.
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#it's very strange #because i often feel like the culmination of those characters arcs #like if the point is they're ace great but like... #the option of lesbianism just *never* occurs #which--and again not to discredit any ace people or ace readings of her work--is such a common lesbian experience! #like myself and a bunch of other lesbians i know had that journey #of going 'hmm i don't like men... guess I'm asexual! (do not ask me about women i will combust)' #like lady bird... whatever #little women... alright i suppose if you wanted to make a comentary on how lma was forced to add the heterosexual romance at the end #and not suggest anything about a real person and also not deviate from the source material #but barbie was insane #the coding was next level #like c'mon birkenstocks??? #and i argue that barbies acceptance of genitalia could be read as an acceptance of sexuality or the very least exploring it #so why isn't she a dyke??? (other than mattel probably giving a hard no on that)
I don’t know, the thing that really bothers me about Greta Gerwig’s films is that there is just this gaping hole where gay women should be. Like, when you’re making these movies about the trap of heterosexual marriage, breaking free of that, and the only concrete answer is to be a single woman over and over and over again, it feels like an intentional absence. You can watch the movie with a queer lens, but it is egregious that you may only consider homosexuality in her movies in this way. It ought to be in them. There is no reason for it not to be there. Women don’t fuck women in Greta Gerwig’s feminist liberations. Often, they don’t have sex at all.
#hi I'm taking kaeden's tags with the lesbian perspective bc I'm gonna add the ace perspective#bc I have Thoughts about this#(preface I have only seen little women and barbie so I'm not gonna talk about lady bird)#1. as an ace person it is very rare that a story is explicitly about a woman being like 'actually it's fine if I don't have a relationship'#2. it is still very weird to not include queerness at all in that story#it's like. do I love to hc jo and barbie as ace? yeah absolutely#do I think that's what greta gerwig intended? honestly no#does it matter? maybe. because she's not putting in queerness in any other way#like sure there's a trans barbie but it's not like they say she's trans or have any comment to make about transness#(not that I am any authority to comment on transness)#and as trans women have pointed out better than me it's very weird to end your film about barbie with#'she's a real girl now that she has a vagina!'#it is interesting because I can understand more having a lesbian reading of jo but I didn't pick up anything lesbian about barbie#and had a total aroace reading of her#but the truth is the film wasn't trying to give her either#and we're all just projecting our own stuff onto it#yes margot robbie has said stuff that supports the ace reading but idk that she knows that's what she's doing beyond 'well she's a doll'#like as much as I enjoy it or make jokes.#and like yeah some (many) of the kens had gay vibes but they didn't actually let any of them be gay#beyond the like winky nod to magic earring ken#idk. I take a lot of issues with the barbie movie from a story perspective#but related to this post I was really hoping it would show Some sort of queerness apart from just accidental stuff we're reading into#or like the existence of kate mckinnon#it feels like greta gerwig knows queer people exist in theory but she doesn't have any interest in including us in stories#except subtly or accidentally#this is getting really long but like. part of being ace for me was being like#well if I'm not straight then I'm gay and if I'm not gay then what am I#which ironically is kinda the reverse of what kaeden said#it's that lesbian ace solidarity baybee#but it's not like greta gerwig's characters are ever even presented the Option to be attracted to women
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I met a guy on hinge and. I really like him?? and I wasn't expecting to like him this much?? but I really do?? help
#ace speaks#he's a cis man which is not usually my type#I'm usually attracted to transmascs and nonbinary people#so it's kind of weird even though I've liked cis men before#but he's SO fucking sweet and adorable#like last night we were meeting up for the second time and I was trying to get him to hold my hand#like I was putting my hand right next to his leg. and being so obvious. and he was not taking it#and I was like 'damn ig either he doesn't like me or he's not picking this up at all??'#and then once we got home he texted me to ask if I was okay with holding hands because he was too shy to ask#and he wanted to make sure I was okay with it#which is the sweetest fucking thing ever??#we're both on the asexual spectrum too which is fucking awesome. I lovelovelove dating asexual people#also we made plans to meet in like a week and a half while we were hanging out#and then when we got home he texted me and asked if we could meet up before that too because he wanted to see me again#like. HELLO??#that's so cute??#I like that he's fairly clear about his feelings bc I get so nervous that people have stopped liking me#aaand he just texted me again as I was writing this so I'm going to stop rambling and go text him back :3
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My mom's recruited my cousin and her girlfriend in setting up a dating profile and I'm just here for ?? no particular reason and like this isn't anything new and I'm totally fine w it but I'm still having weird bad self-reflection thoughts esp since everyone (myself included) is agreeing that my mom should include "lives w adult daughter" on the profile and. Just. Not having great feelings. Mm.
#ignore me#maddie lifeblogs#sitting w some uncomfy feelings. idk what to do w them yet.#it's like all my aro/ace/autistic/whole entire existence is feeling at major confict rn#all this is so alien and this isn't even about me but it's making me feel weird about me. weh.#I'm fine I'm fine just reflecting about my whole life and I don't think I'm happy w it :/
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No you don't understand how conflicted I am about aro/ace Tankhun
#Like I'm aroace and I hc everyone as aroace but also#It feels infantilizing or whatever the word is#Like oh he's so silly and immature ofc he doesn't understand/have sex#which is a joke they make in the show#And it's funny to me but also again I feel like it falls in weird territory#Like he's not aro/ace to me bc he's weird he's aro/ace because everyone is to me#Like fuck Tankhun should be allowed to fuck nasty if he wants idek man#Once more in: Astro has too many complicated thoughts that he cannot actually say because words are dumb
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i feel like a build tolerances to various substances way faster than a normal person
#ace rambles#like when i first started drinking two bottles was enough to get me Noticably buzzed#but on halloween i drank 2 and barely felt it + almost no hangover the next day#when i first started taking edibles two got me so high that basically all i could do was sit on the couch and stim#this last time i tried to get high i took two and felt Literally Nothing and the time before that it took four to feel slightly high#and it's not like i'm doing this every day!#before halloween the last time i drank alcohol was in JUNE#and i only get high maybe every few weeks or so#so i guess i'm just weird?#and all of this is not even Touching my caffeine tolerance#it's really a shame because i like the way weed and alcohol make me feel but at this rate it's gonna get too expensive to be worth it#alcohol//#drugs//
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Consider It a Favor || J.M.
Summary: Your AC breaks in your car and the one person around to help is your neighbor, Mr.Miller. (No outbreak!Joel miller x f!reader)
Content Warnings: 18+ as always, MDNI. Age gap (Not specified but I put Sarah in college) DILF Joel mowing his lawn, reader is able-bodied and is wearing a swim suit/coverup, reader has hair Joel can pull, kissing, swearing, (1) blowjob, size kink go brrr, pet names (good girl, sweetheart, baby) facedown ass up, babey, a little manhandling, unprotected penetration (don't look at me okay, the whore in me jumped out), dirty talk, Joel hyping up his ego, pussy ownership, creampie, a little glimpse of aftercare and what really happened to your AC.
Authors Note: This is my own submission for Summer Lovin' 24! We had a blast making this and I will def do another in the future. Ali, you are an absolute beast for making all of these moodboards, thank you bby. As always, go check out everyone else's submissions, Ali's been on top of it with the masterlist so you can find them all in one place over at @pedgito🖤 (Also are we surprised I'm posting this late? No)
|| wc: 3.4k || Dividers by me || Masterlist ||
There he was again, Mr.Miller in the front of his house mowing away at the barley grown grass with nothing but gray shorts on and his shoes, the sweat glistening in the sun over his shoulders. You knew it was wrong to look at your neighbor like this but how could you help yourself when he was so irresistible?
He didn’t have a problem with you staring either, he never told you to stop or that it made him feel weird. Having the attention of a woman made him feel good, especially when she was younger than him. It let him know he still had it in him.
“Hi Mr.Miller!” You try shouting over the roaring lawn mower but it was no use. He keeps walking up and down near the sidewalk, making sure he doesn’t miss an inch. If you didn’t get going now, you were never going to make the beach party you got invited to earlier. Making your way down the stairs of your wooden deck and sneaking glances at him every few steps to your car, you smile to yourself imagining him at the beach, laying on his stomach to tan that beautiful back.
Fading back into reality, you realize he was standing in front of you snapping and waving his fingers to get your attention.
“How’s it goin’ sugar? Doin’ okay in this heat?”
“O-oh! Yeah, I’m just on my way to the beach now. Grass looks really good, can I pay you to cut my dads?” You joke and point behind you to the taller grass that didn’t look so bad before Joel cut his.
“No, c’mon don’t start that shit. Well I’ll let you get goin’. I’m fixin’ to finish this yard anyway.”
He waves goodbye and you stand up straight to look your best for his last glance at you, something to hopefully think about when he’s finishing his grass. Flipping over the engine as soon as you get inside, you roll the windows down to let the warm air out and you blast the AC to cool down. Something felt off though, the car was making a weird sound and the air wasn’t getting cold like it usually did. Frustrated and hot, you get back out and slam the door shut, walking in front of the hood to open it. Joel notices you get out and he turns to watch you, his brows knitting together in confusion.
“Everything okay, darlin?” He wipes his hands on his shorts as he walks over to you.
“No, my goddamn AC won’t work right and I don’t know why but I can’t drive there without it, I would actually rather eat a jean jacket.”
He laughs and shakes his head before walking over to the driver side door, climbing in to stick his hand in front of the air vent. Feeling for himself firsthand the disgustingly warm air that was hotter than satan's asshole, Joel walks back to the hood and rests his hand along the top of it, his arm stretched up over his head.
“I can take a look at it if you want? Probably won’t make it to the beach today but I can try like hell.”
“Are you sure? I have some cash inside the house to pay you. Hold on, let me go grab it.” You sprint towards the front door of the house and pat down the pockets of your skimpy coverup for the sound of the jingling keys. “Hey Joel, do you see my house keys in my car on the seat?”
“Let me look, sweetheart.” He opens the passenger side door and glances around on the passenger seat, not a single nickel key anywhere in sight. This was perfect, just perfect. You locked yourself out and you’re stuck outside in your swimsuit under the see through cover up you just had to wear instead of wearing normal clothes like every other person ever.
“No! No key!” He shouts from your car and gets out, shaking his head side to side in case you didn’t hear him.
Fuck. What were you going to do now? No one else was going to be home until later tonight, window climbing was out of the question, the back screen door had a wooden pole in the track to keep people from breaking in when you weren’t using it, there were no options but to hang out with Joel. You didn’t mind, but dressed like this? What would the neighbors think considering how nosy they are and the neighbor across the street who Joel briefly had a thing with. No one knew about that but you, thank god for late night trips to sit on the roof and smoke, right? You get to hear everything when it’s quiet.
Joel shuts the hood and gets back in the driver's seat, the door latching softly behind him. His big hand grabs the back of the passenger seat headrest as he reverses out of your driveway with the other one hand on the wheel, spinning it in such a controlled way it weirdly turns you on seeing him drive like that. He pulls into his garage and shuts off the engine before tucking the keys in the sun visor. He chuckles at the key to keychain ratio you have on the worn out carabiner, the red paint scratched all over and showing the silver metal under it.
”So, turns out I locked myself out of my house…this is just great.” You scratch your forehead in frustration and sigh. If you were just paying attention to what you were doing when you were leaving you wouldn’t have locked yourself out and you wouldn’t be out here half naked with Joel. You fling the trunk open and start to look for extra clothes, anything to put on to be a little more presentable and not have the neighbors question your entire life.
The options were slim pickings. A choice between wearing a hoodie in 100 degree weather, a safety vest you swore you needed to buy the other day, and someone’s jeans that weren’t your size at all.
“What are you doin’ back there?”
“Looking for something to put on because I look crazy.”
A sigh of relief washes over you as you find all the way in the corner of the trunk, an oversized gray t-shirt you didn’t even remember owning. The band printed on the front was so faded out by now you couldn’t tell who was even on it.
Pulling the cotton fabric over your swimsuit and shimming your cover up down your legs until you’re able to step out of it, you toss it in the trunk before you slam it shut and grab a seat next to the oscillating fan he has going. The semi cool air blows your scent right in his direction and he tries to act normal about the smell of your perfume mixed with sunscreen. He yanks the short stool over to him and the wheels wobble as it rolls fast towards him and he sits down with his flashlight in his other hand, inspecting what could be the issue. The heat was starting to get to you and your head was pounding, ringing with a sharp headache.
“Sweetheart, come hold this light for me, would you please?”
“Y-yeah, absolutely.”
You stand up a little too eagerly and walk over to where he was in front of the car. Joel’s hand brushes against yours as he holds out the black flashlight, his dark brown eyes glancing up at yours as soon as your skin touches. It was something you’d never felt before. Maybe it was because he was so much older and it was wrong to feel this way about your neighbor. Maybe it was the excitement of knowing you’d be thinking about this later when you were home and by yourself, taking care of this aching feeling that was growing between your thighs.
“Point it up just a little bit more, yeah right there. Good girl.”
At this point he has to know what he was doing to you, the smirk on his lips was a dead give away. He saw the way your eyes widened just enough to make his breath catch in his throat, but he couldn’t act on it. Not yet, at least. He grunts and groans as he starts to move stuff and loosen nuts, the same sounds you imagine echo off his bedroom walls when he’s taking care of himself. He seems like a moaner when he’s jerking off, with such a big house and just one person living there now, there was no way he was a silent masturbater.
A few hours passed and your hair was sticking to the nape of your neck, completely drenched in sweat. He ended up finding the problem and fixing it just like that. He must know what he’s doing because he found the problem fast…a little too fast.
“Thank you, Mr.Miller, I really appreciate it. Do you have something I can drink?”
“Oh, shit! I’ve got lemonade inside, c’mon. Ladies first.”
Joel stands up and lets you walk past before he’s behind you, watching your amazing ass move as you walk up the two little steps to go inside the house. His hand reaches up to the wall and presses on the white button to close the garage door. Seeing the inside of his house was new to you, you’d only seen what you could inside by the front door when you walked by. The tan walls lead you to the kitchen and he points to the white counter island.
“Sit and wait for me right here, I’ll get ya some lemonade and we can cool off.”
His finger points to the small barstool tucked under the counter and you straddle the leather top, your ass looking so tempting. The air blows through the vent next to your leg and you shiver slightly as it kisses your warm leg, your nipples hardening under your shirt. Joel walks over to your side and stands close, the lemonade glass clinking against the counter when he sets it down.
“So what do I owe you?” You ask, taking a sip of lemonade.
“Nothin’ consider it a favor.”
“Are you sure?”
You didn’t want it to just be a favor, but if he wanted to play that game, you could too.
“More than sure, sweetheart.”
Joel’s waist is so close to brushing against your arm, it was killing you not to move just the slightest to feel him on you. You look up at him and roll your eyes slightly.
“What was that for?” He asks, his brows knitting together in confusion.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The smirk grows wider on your face before you turn the stool forward but Joel’s hand comes to your neck, right underneath your hair, and he grasps firmly before he guides you to look at him once more.
“Think you know exactly what I’m talkin’ about.”
His words were breathy, as if he’s running out of time to talk and his lips crash onto yours. Joel’s mustache pokes against your lip as you kiss him deeper before pulling away, standing with your back against the counter, Joel right in front of you with his hands on his hips.
“I um, I didn’t mean to do that. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Joel looks around the kitchen as if his excuse is written out on the walls for him.
“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. You can trust me, Mr.Miller.”
The innocent smile you flash at him causes him to chuckle and shake his head at you. Joel crosses his arms over his chest and gives a pause before responding.
“You’re trouble, you know that? Come here.” His finger signals for you to come closer and you happily oblige. Joel’s hands squeeze your hips before his right one travels up to your neck, gripping firmly so you can’t wiggle away.
“Tell me, princess…is that what you want? You want me to bend you over the couch, touch you until you can’t take it, shove my cock in your pretty little mouth?”
Full body chills wash over you. Jesus christ, he was good. Looking at him in his eyes once more, the true nature of Joel Miller was coming out to play. The man who pretended to be an innocent, quiet neighbor, was actually just an older man who wanted to fuck you just as much, if not more than you wanted him to. A wolf in sheep's clothing.
“That’s exactly what I want. More than anything.” You grab his forearm and rub softly before following down to his hip.
It was driving him crazy the way you were toying with the waistband of his gray shorts, the anticipation was killing him. Joel lets go of your neck and nods his head to the floor, wanting you to get on your knees in front of him. When you kneel down and sit patiently, his shorts fall right to his feet, hardened cock springing out in front of you.
“I don’t think this is gonna fit, Joel.”
“It’s okay, don’t worry; I’ll make it fit. Open your mouth, sweetheart.”
Joel waits until your lips part and your tongue sticks out before smacking the tip of his cock against the wetness pooling on your tongue. His groans fill your ears like a symphony and you swear you’ve died and gone to heaven. His cock wasn’t even inside you yet and you were already so wet for him, you could feel it all over the inside of your swimsuit bottoms. You grab the base and begin sucking, taking your time so your lips run slowly over every vein, every inch of skin his cock has to offer.
The amazing work you were doing with your mouth causes him to grunt and buck his hips, ever so slightly face fucking you until he looks down with his teeth clenched from the pleasure.
“God damn, you can take it deep. Nasty little one. Doin’ even better than I imagined.”
The bell goes off in your head and you slowly take his cock out of your mouth and look up at him with a grin on your face.
“You think about what it would be like to get a blowjob from me?”
Joel scratches his beard and looks away from you so you don’t see the blush creeping on his face.
“I do, every night. You don’t make it easier on me when I see you outside half naked because it’s so hot out, your tits spilling out of your top. You’re so fucking beautiful, sweetheart.”
Now it was your turn to feel the heat rising in your cheeks. You always wondered if he noticed your outfits and he was giving you answers you never thought you’d get. You continue working your tongue from his balls all the way to the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue over the tip and getting any precum dripping out from the way you had him going. His hand runs through your hair and wraps around it, tugging everytime your tongue brushes over the sensitive spot right under the tip.
“Get up, I can’t take this anymore. I need to fuck you, I need to feel what it’s like inside you.”
He helps you up and walks you over to the black leather couch tucked right under the big picture window in the living room, tossing you down onto the cushions and pulling your ass up into the air with your back arched. He watches as the swim fabric reveals your glossy cunt with the help of Joel pulling the bottoms down just to sit right below your ass.
“Are you ready to be a good girl for me?” Joel grabs your hips and leans over you, cupping your breasts and toying with a nipple as he grinds his cock against your ass waiting for your approval.
“Y-yes, Joel. I want you to stretch me out. Give it all to me, please.”
That was enough for him to push his thick cock deep inside you and for a moment your eyes rolled back into your skull. It was one thing having it down your throat but it was another when it feels like it's tearing you in two. Joel’s big hand spreads on your lower back as he drives himself deeper into you, giving you a moment of time to adjust to him before he starts thrusting.
“Fuck you’re so tight, already squeezing around me. You like that, baby?” His hips slam into you with a rhythmed pace and he grabs your wrists, pinning them to your back while he goes faster.
Joel’s balls pat against your ass with the speed he’s going and his grunts fall into sync with yours. The two of you start to move against each other and Joel pins your arms tighter to your back to keep himself steady. This was everything you wanted and more and the way your tummy was doing flips, you knew he was ruining you and this wasn’t just a one time thing.
“Oh my god, Mr.Miller please, go harder, please. Spank me.”
Joel’s ears perk up and he doesn’t let your arms fall to your side. He holds your wrists with one hand and begins to slap your ass, groaning with every connection his palm makes with your cheeks. You lose count after the fourth one and continue to moan Joel’s name, your pussy aching from the contact.
“I think you’re gonna get me addicted to this pussy, sweetheart. Gonna have to come over again so you can make yourself feel good on my cock, you like the sound of that, baby? I hope I ruin guys your age for you so you only want an older man deep inside you.”
You whine out and the building feeling in your tummy continues and Joel’s words almost push you over the edge. His hand lets go of your wrists and grasp firmly on your hips, slamming your body back against his.
“I can feel you wanting to come. Is that right? Tell me who this pussy belongs to, sweetheart. Tell me” he growls and spanks you.
Your teeth clamp together as you try not to come yet but he makes it hard with the way he’s plowing into you. Gripping onto the cushion next to you, you try to answer but his moans catch you off guard and make you lose focus.
“C’mon, baby. Tell me who this pussy belongs to and I’ll let you come.”
Joel spanks your ass again and it brings you enough momentum to respond.
“It’s-fuck-it’s yours Joel. This pussy is yours, all yours I swear.”
The groan he pulls deep from his sternum is exactly what you need to send you over, dissolving into pleasure underneath Joel. He doesn’t stop thrusting inside of you as he finds it fascinating to watch you squirm and choke out broken moans of his name.
“It’s okay, I got you baby. I’ve got you.” He pants out and soon he’s following you, shooting his load of cum deep inside you. The two of you whimper soft nothings as you come down off your high and Joel catches his breath while he goes soft inside you, the living room falling quiet now.
As you lay there in a daze with Joel getting off of you, he gives you another moment before he helps you up and fixes your swimsuit bottoms to where they should be sitting. You fix your hair to not look so crazy and turn around to look outside the window and over to your driveway, no one home yet.
“Joel, would it be okay if I took a nap? You kinda wore my ass out.” You laugh and rest your head on his shoulder.
“Yeah, absolutely. I won’t uh, I won’t make you sleep on the couch though. C’mon, come sleep in my bed. I’ll make us somethin’ to eat.” He kisses your forehead and walks you to his room. The blue walls and gray sheets invite you in and you’re drawn to his bed immediately. The pillows still fluffed and mangled from him sleeping earlier in the morning but you couldn’t wait to lay on them. He gets you all cozy and in his spot he sleeps and kisses you once more.
“I’ll come get you when the food is done. Also, sorry I ruined your AC but at least I fixed it!” He says quickly and disappears down the stairs.
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