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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 3 years ago

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Kirk and Spock: Canon Musings and Fandom Curiosities Of an LGBT+ Trek Fan

Here are some thoughts surrounding the fandom controversy of anti k/s shippers who get uppity with those of us who enjoy it; specifically those members of our fandom who have now taken to bemoaning how "woke" Trek has become despite it always being "woke", or the recent fresh flush of anti-LGBT rage stirred up in select fans at our (checks latest reason for outbursts) SNW enthusiasm.

As a member of LGBT+, I can't help but bring my own experiences in this fandom into this, too, because I feel it is relevant. So let's have a conversation.

FYI, This is not in alignment or support of those k/s forcefeeders who try to browbeat all fans into agreeing that k/s is canon, which I'm not cool with. Everyone should be able to enjoy the fandom however they see fit - don't conflate extremism with fandom. If someone enjoys this fandom thinking Spock/Chapel or asexual Spock or platonic besties Kirk and Spock then leave them alone. -_- They have every right to enjoy this fandom in their own way as much as you do. To quote Jim: "Don't push, Charlie."

What I mean is, k/s fans who simply enjoy entertaining the idea as canon for ourselves and like-minded fans, while some other Trek fans get rabid stinging mad and offended about it for some reason.

I've been told that even the idea that Jim Kirk might be bi is "disgusting", "perverted", a "twisted, sick fantasy" to name a few examples. . . No joke. Actual Twitter comments from people who think simply liking both men and women is "perverted". Y'all TIL that just the idea of being bi is a "twisted, sick fantasy". And as a bisexual person in a fandom that gave us a concept like IDIC, I wasn't feeling very welcome or embraced after reading some of that anti-bi vitriol. My existence is not "perverted" or "twisted", nor is the love I have shared with my married partner for the past 12 years. But I digress. I'm not about to be chased away from something I love because of the usual cowardly stream of anti-LGBT+ pearl clutching and dismissiveness from a loud minority that has become so commonplace in our society.

"They're trying to make everything gay now it's so stupid and unrealistic I'm so tired of hearing about gay things" *Looks pointedly at the decades of STRAIGHT ONLY representation being celebrated: straight-centric holidays, the fact that gay marriage was illegal for decades and yet in order to be allowed to visit a dying partner in the ICU, they required you to legally be family; this meant that while straight couples always got to say their proper goodbyes to the loves of their lives on their hospital deathbeds, LGBT+ couples were denied this right on the basis of not being legally allowed to get married throughout the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and early 00s, plus constant cultural straight-washing forced on everybody from day 1 in the form of creepy fake child kindergarten wedding invites and baby rompers that say gross things like "Daddy's Little Lady Killer"*

It all seems rather aggressive for so mild a suggestion pertaining to fictional characters that are living in the future where this would all be a lot more likely and casual regarding gender and sexuality.

Anyway, moving on from that disappointing dumpster fire of interactions that I and others were on the receiving end of as a member of LGBT+ in the Trek fandom . . . the fandom is typically very open minded and welcoming, but there are always a few turd nuggets in any gold heap.

With all that unpacked, it made me curious: just what are they protecting so fiercely? What are they canonically terrified of losing? Swaggering Jim who is doomed to hop from broken relationship to broken relationship? Are they saving Jim Kirk from the Bisexual boogeyman? What exactly are they vehemently defending, if they are so against that take?

I guess what I'm curious about is this: What is their ideal pairing or TOS ship that seems logical to them that we are threatening by loving our ship, if any at all? (Hey I know some of you are just here for the spaceship porn and don't give a shit about any of this, fill your boots. Come on down and ignore us fools obsessed with make believe characters, we love you all.)

If y'all don't think the affection was certainly sufficient enough for their relationship to be considered romantic (as Gene Roddenberry put it) . . . Well then, who or what else? What makes more logical sense, given the canon we have been given? I don't ask this antagonistically, but with genuine curiosity about theories. I'm not here to shoot anyone down, opinions are welcome. I've just always wondered about the other takes.

The canon is so weird in that unlike most other stories where they try to beat you over the head with hetero happily ever after, Star Trek canon keeps Kirk and Spock's long term romantic details -- especially Spock's -- quite ambiguous. We never see them get married, or settle down with anyone specific, officially on screen or in the canon.

Not that characters have to have a relationship to feel fulfilled, but this is all based on what we know of these characters in particular; we already know that Spock and Jim have expressed a desire and need for love, companionship and connection.

We know Jim is brimming with affection; he is a VERY openly affectionate person who often vulnerably ruminates on love and feelings of loneliness.

He constantly expresses a want and need for a partner to understand him and love him as he is, and he talks a great deal about how being alone is a fear or discomfort of his. Even though he romances often, Jim usually ends up dumped or removing himself from the relationship because ultimately, nobody seems to respect or understand his commitment to his ship and Starfleet on a personal level -- they don’t seem to truly understand him -- that is, besides Spock. But Jim is right of course; he shouldn't have to give up who he is and what he loves in order to be loved or understood. True love is what happens when a person sees you just as you are and still wants to buy what you’re selling, warts and all. And the only person who seems to share this love and enthusiasm for his ship and his job with that same keen level of understanding is Spock.

This comes up in even some of the earliest episodes of TOS.

"This vessel. I give, she takes. She won't permit me my life. I've got to live hers." - Kirk to Spock

Conversely, Spock has convinced himself that he doesn't need love or anyone else to survive, and how he grapples with that throughout TOS. By the end of the motion picture, he finally realizes how wrong that is and says as much to Jim by confessing his feelings and how he needs them -- specifically, how he needs Jim.

So if Kirk and Spock aren't the closest to one another and the most likely spouses, I’m curious: who else? What makes more sense then, canonically, knowing what we know about Kirk and Spock in TOS/The Movie canon from start to finish?

We never expressly hear of Spock having an official significant other named throughout canon. A marriage is alluded to in TNG, but we do not know to who -- or anything about their gender/identity. The writer of Spock's autobiography describes him as "widowed" from Kirk. This is just about the closest reference that we get (outside the vague mention in TNG) resembling Spock having some semblance of an intimate love relationship long term.

I genuinely don’t feel there is another character in the TOS canon that reoccurs throughout it that you could argue the canon explicitly intended or set up for Spock to end game be with aside from T'Pring, who shot him down for Stonn.

Usually when people say a character is straight, it is because the canon has already arranged an obvious hetero end game pairing for them with blatant evidence.

For Spock, that never happens -- not an end game situation with another character that is anything remotely close to being as intimate, personal, or affectionate as what he develops with Jim.

The closest we ever get is Chapel, Zarabeth or Leila -- all of which we know for certain were never canonically described or written as Spock's long term partner - we'd know about it by now if that were the case. (Note 1: I didn’t count Saavik here as their relationship wasn’t primarily developed or sold as truly romantic or an end game romance. I feel if that were the case, they would have blasted that from the rooftops -- whereas the mentor-apprentice relationship they shared is prominent and obvious. She doesn’t come back outside the canon she appeared in, they aren’t mentioned as settling down or having a relationship later in-canon. . . Basically she got down with Spock’s mindless meat thrall teen body while his katra was in another castle in ST III so that the body wouldn’t die. If that constitutes an intimate romantic relationship to you, please get help.)

(Note 2: I am writing this from the perspective that Spock is not ace based on TOS evidence such as Amok Time, The Enterprise Incident, All Our Yesterdays, and This Side of Paradise as examples which highlight Spock's capacity for sexual desire and offers a mild suggestion of interest in sex -- however rarely it appears. However if y'all interpret Spock as ace though, my take is one take and it ain’t gospel-- power to you fam, rock that ace Vulcan.)

In Kirk's case, Jim very obviously loves women. He has a number of genuine relationships with them; he most notably has a failed serious relationship with Carol Marcus. That would be the closest thing canon did to assigning an official long term partner for Jim, but the films and comics make it very clear that Carol and Jim were unhappy together -- so much so that Carol left Jim, and demanded that Jim stay away from his only child and not be a part of his life. She denied him the ability to participate as a father selfishly; not for David’s benefit, but for her own personal benefit. She wanted to have nothing to do with Kirk, and she kept their child from knowing his father or following in his footsteps. Truth be told, that wasn’t Carol’s decision or right to choose for David, ultimately. She can raise him, but it wasn’t her right to deny him access to his father or the option of exploring that side of himself. And in Kirk’s case, nor is that the kind of lot that the end game love of your life offers you in regards to a future with you and your child.

Furthermore, what Carol had always feared is exactly what happened; David followed after Jim into the thick of the action, and he died as a product of it. Did Carol ever want to be in a relationship with Jim again, after their son was killed due to him trying to get Spock back? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't if it were my kid that died. There is also no mention in the canon of Jim and Carol ever rekindling, and any relationship Jim has with other people outside of Spock in canon are often fleeting; they never seem last long term. Besides Carol, he never truly "settles down" with anyone in canon for what could be considered a true “end game” scenario.

So my question is, in canon, if Kirk and Spock aren't the most feasible answer for each other in terms of closeness, intimacy, mutual respect, love and admiration, who is?

It has been said time and again that they know and understand each other unlike anybody else in the canon -- that they are two halves of the same whole. Roddenberry himself said he intended them to complete each other: "You are closer to the captain than anyone else in the universe. You know his thoughts."/"Theirs had been the touching of two minds which the old poets of Spock's home planet had proclaimed as superior even to the wild physical love which affected Vulcans every seventh year during pon farr."

The pendant scene written for ST 2009. "I have been and always shall be yours."

The one thing I struggle to understand with anti-K/S fans is, do they prefer the idea that the guys just lived their whole lives for duty, contradicting the message of TMP about how essential love and connection is, and just kind of stayed lonely and isolated for the rest of their lives? Did Spock just have one off pon farr cycles with strangers and never knew what it felt like to actually be loved wholeheartedly by somebody?

Was Jim just destined to be a sad, lonely boss who's relationships always ended in the other person choosing their career over him, of putting him aside or dumping him, never knowing what it is like to be genuinely appreciated and cherished as opposed to discarded? He has had his heart and trust broken so many times. Is that really the life we are so sold to for James T. Kirk?

I can completely understand if folks would rather maintain the perspective that they are friends -- I think folks should enjoy stories in whatever way makes them happiest. I'm not here to say "IT'S CANON" *forcefeed* or that anyone has to buy what I'm selling, I'm just curious.

It blows my mind that the idea of Kirk and Spock getting a shot at real, genuine love -- that good shit you only get when you are intensely close with someone who understands you and you marry your best friend -- that that idea is less appealing to someone out there than "well they were just married to their duties forever, never made any other real long lasting, intimate bonds with other people or found true love, and they just kind of worked until they died. Kirk had an anthology of failed relationships that never stuck and Spock was just lonely till he died. The end." Like really? That gives you your jush? If it does then I love that for you, but for me that is just so . . . Cold.

Just . . . what the fuck? Being forever alone or a failure at love sounds so much more miserable than being secret gay?

Anyway, that's just one little bear's opinion, do with it what you will. But I'm on team "they had a secret but awesome love relationship for the remainder of their lives" over team "forever alone and married to work for the rest of their lives".

I'm on team "my boys deserve happiness".

If you want to ship fucking Horta x Balok fics or if you’re simply here for the nacelle porn a la Monty Scott and don’t give two damns about any of this, I’m here for you: you support something I love, and you aren’t hurting anybody while doing it.

Thanks for coming to yet another long winded, homoerotic Star Trek TedXTalk.

Remember that regardless of why you are in this fandom, so long as you are not hurting somebody else, I’m here for you.

We don’t have to love something for the same reasons or the same way in order to love it just as equally. So even if we don’t see eye to eye about every little fan theory or sentiment, thanks for being here and supporting Star Trek, however you lean; so long as you are kind and open minded, I got you fam. LLAP, and IDIC.🖖 💚

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