#I'm a bad influence- sleep early guys

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

If what they say about lack of sleep is true I am absolutely going to die bloody early with the state my sleep schedule is in.

[whentherewerebicycles]

ok and now some thoughts about my early experience of parenting.

it kinda rocks... i really like it. i will definitely have a second kid if finances and biology work out. my life is so much better with this little guy in it. the sacrifices so far are mostly minor and are much more logistical than personal. i have to work more hours than i'd ideally want to because there's only one paycheck. i have to try to cobble together more sleep than i used to because i am pretty tired at the end of the day. i can't go to the gym or run an errand or go write at a coffeeshop for a few hours without hiring a sitter or asking my friends to help out. but the tradeoff is i get to be this little kid's mom. he thinks i'm pretty funny and he's interested in everything i do and he calls to me to get me to come over to his mat and talk to him and he likes to grab my face and hold it still so he can study it real intently and when he's upset he wants me to snuggle him until he feels better. i would pick that over getting to run into a store without the stroller a million times over.

i remember reading this book years ago where someone (paulo freire? someone influenced by freire's pedagogy?) recommended that all teachers, no matter how long they'd been teaching, carve out time every six months to reflect on their teaching practices and consider whether those practices were aligned with their core/guiding values as educators. i obviously love this idea because i was born to engage in sustained reflective journaling about my values lol. but also: i do think there's value in setting aside time at regular intervals to check in with yourself about the way you are living, or about whatever you are practicing, whether it's teaching or your work with others or, in this case, parenting. so idk i might try using his birthday and half birthday as time to journal both about my kid and about my own practice of parenting.

do i have a practice of parenting?? that sounds too fancy for someone who is only six months in lol. but i do enjoy thinking about what i'm doing and i like trying to connect the day-to-day choices i'm making to larger principles. i have written about this before but idk i think i am somebody who derives a strong sense of security and groundedness from having a loose framework of guiding values i can refer to when making decisions. and i guess in this first round of reflective journaling i will try to articulate what some of those emerging values/principles are. here we go:

I am making a conscious effort to not sweat the small stuff. there are one million things you can be worried or stressed about in parenting. and there are one million ways you can fall into the trap of thinking that if you just control every single variable nothing bad will happen to your kid. i am trying, inasmuch as i can, to avoid at least a few ways of falling into that trap. i have worked really hard to choose flexibility instead of rigidity when it comes to, for instance, letting other people care for my kid. it's okay if people do things differently than i would - as long as he's safe, he can only benefit from being exposed to different caretaking styles and adapting to different people's ways of engaging with him. i also made a decision early on to not engage with any parenting content on social media (this means ignoring the dozens of insta reels my mom sends me every week lol) and that has been really healthy/good for me. there is TOO MUCH information out there. it is way too overwhelming. you could spend your whole life worrying and i want to spend my life doing other things, like funny accents and comedy bits for the baby.

i am working hard to not interpret other people's parenting choices as a judgment of my own. i really believe that there are lots of different ways to raise healthy, well-adjusted kids. we can make different choices (small and big choices!) and still arrive at the same outcomes. i just really don't want to be the kind of person who takes it personally when people do something differently than i would've! i want to be secure enough in my choices to be able to accept and appreciate a whole range of other parenting styles. i also want to be humble enough to realize that i don't have it all figured out and might learn something from reflecting on someone else's parenting choices. anyway this has been a challenging one as i sometimes DO feel quite judged or shamed by other people's choices. but i also think it's ok to feel that reaction as long as i can keep making space for myself to take a deep breath and think through why i feel like that. idk! work in progress but i've only had six months of practice lol.

i am also trying not to interpret other people's anxieties as anything other than them working through their own stuff. to give one example: i love my mom so much but she is just, like, vibrating out of her skin with anxiety at all times about literally everything. and she has really found an outlet for that anxiety in grandparenting. i get dozens of texts a week about what exercises i should be doing with him and what experiences i should be making sure he has and where i should be taking him and what i should be saying to him and what i should be asking the doctor about and so on and so forth. this obviously could be pretty stressful, and i know that my brother and SIL find it so stressful that it is kind of negatively impacting their relationship with her. but idk i feel like with my mom i spent a lot of my life taking her anxieties personally, thinking that she thought i was incompetent/incapable/irresponsible/whatever. and then at some point in the last few years i was just like oh... this isn't about me at all, is it? this has absolutely nothing to do with me. this is just her fear and her terror of doing things wrong and her overwhelming need to avoid shame, and all of that emotional stuff just happens to be playing out in this relationship because we are close enough that she can lets her emotional walls down and let me see the churning river of anxiety that runs through the heart of her life. i wish that she didn't feel like that. but it's also not something i can fix or change. the only thing that is within my control is the choice not to take it personally, which in turn helps me put some guardrails around it so that it doesn't impact our relationship. idk i think this will probably be an ongoing thing i have to sort through for myself. but also she is who she is and i love her and it is important to me that she be a big part of owen's life. so we will figure it out.

I refuse to optimize my parenting because i refuse to see my child as a thing that needs to be optimized. this is in some ways hard for me because in many respects i am all-in on the very american philosophy that everything can be improved endlessly, including yourself and your family, if you just work harder and care more and give endlessly of yourself to the work. but nope! nope. not for parenting. not for my kid. i want him to have experiences and be exposed to new things, but not so he can "get ahead" or excel in things. i want him to be curious, engaged, interested, flexible, alive to the world, open to new things. i do not care if he is bilingual by age four or has a STEM curriculum at his daycare or goes to a top college or whatever. and i want the choices i make about what we do together and how we spend our time to reflect that. idk he's still so little that this is not super relevant yet but i can feel some of it creeping in.

lastly: i am trying to approach all aspects of parenting with the fundamental belief that i am and will be a good parent. i feel like our culture wants women in particular to spend all their time feeling guilty and inadequate as mothers. we also don't get a lot of external feedback on whether or not we're doing a good job as parents, which i think can make us frantic for validation and riddled with self-doubt over whether we are doing Enough. but i want to just like, try to cut some of that out and just answer it for myself. i'm doing a great job. i'm a great mom. i love my kid and my kid loves me. as i learn more about my child and myself as a parent i will undoubtedly adjust my approach to parenting many times, but making adjustments doesn't mean i was doing something "wrong" or "bad" before. it just means i want to try something new or shift gears a little bit. idk maybe this sounds dumb but i actually think it is proving kind of powerful so far as a strategy for managing parenting anxiety. i just assume that my parenting instincts are reasonably good and will guide me to make reasonably good choices, and if something turns out not to work, i assume i am a good enough parent to figure it out and adapt accordingly.

ok!! good journaling session and now it's time for bed!!

[invisibleraven]

Ack sorry I'm late, but could I get some "You got me sick" "Better you than anyone else" for Bobby/anyone pleaseee?

Bobby wonders if it's sad that one of the first things he does in the morning (after checking on lola, of course) is check the garage to see if his boyfriend spent the night there. Sure, sometimes it's because Luke lost track of time writing and just...didn't bother going home. But most times it's because he got into it with his mom again and needed an escape.

On the one hand, Bobby gets it, Luke lives and breathes music, and if Emily can't see that, then maybe it's best they have the space between them. But-for a guy who hasn't seen or heard from his parents in almost two years-he would kill for them to care about him enough to get into fights about his dreams and passions.

Yes he has lola, but she's a lola, and supports him no matter what, so it isn't quite the same.

This morning there's a chill in the air, meaning fall is well and truly here, so Bobby makes a note to turn the heat on out in the garage-they can't very well practice if they're all shivering.

"Morning Lu-Lu," Bobby said as he threw open the door, smirking as the bundle on the couch groaned and rolled over, showing him Luke's disgruntled face.

"I just got to sleep," Luke grumbled.

"Not my fault you stayed up until dawn writing the next great hit," Bobby replied. "Eggs?"

Luke stretched and nodded, following him back to the house. At this point, lola was used to Luke being there for breakfast, always making extra. Bobby wasn't sure if she knew Luke was squatting in their garage half the time or just was a really early riser. He knew she had hinted more than once that Luke was welcome to stay over, even in Bobby's room, but he had covered his ears to that suggestion.

Look, he and Luke were together but not like that. He was disgusted at the prospect, and Luke had professed he really didn't have much interest in the physical, so they were fine just sharing the odd hug and occasional kiss.

"Do you two have plans for today?" lola asked as she plated up the food.

"School," Bobby grunted.

"Booo," Luke added. "What about you Celia?"

"Knitting group at the library, then there's an open ai market this afternoon for some of the fall produce," she replied. "I'm going to see if I can get a good squash for soup."

"I have some books to return, can I leave them with you?" Bobby asked, kissing her on the cheek when she agreed. "Perfect."

The rest of the day was typical-class, goofing off with the guys at lunch, working his shift at this after school job. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Only the next morning as he entered the garage, he swore-he had forgotten to turn the heat on, and there had been a definite dip in temperature-so the place was freezing. And there was Luke, shivering away as he greeted him, teeth chattering.

"Bit chilly in here."

"Well if you weren't allergic to sleeves," Bobby quipped, tossing his own sweater over the shearling coat Luke was already shrugging on. "You know where the heat is, why didn't you turn it on?"

Luke's response was to sneeze several times in succession. "Got in late, didn't want to turn on the light, let alone grope around with the fuse box."

"Another fight?"

Luke hummed, avoiding his eyes. "She called you a bad influence."

"Moi?"

"All of you," Luke clarified. "Like you aren't all following my dream."

Bobby sighed, coming over to rub at Luke's back, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. "It's a dream for all of us. You just elected yourself fearless leader."

"Shut up," Luke said, sticking his tongue out at him.

"Would still follow you anywhere," Bobby confessed, pecking his lips a few times before pulling him up. "Come on, lola should have some tea to ward off that chill."

Only as the day progressed, Luke kept sneezing, coughing, and shivering. To the point that Bobby told him to stay home that night in his own warm bed, as even with the heat on, the garage wasn't the best place for someone who was obviously sick.

But Luke was nothing if not stubborn. And his insomnia hit him hard when he was sick. So when Bobby woke up the next morning, feeling pretty worn down and sneezy himself, he wasn't surprised to find Luke dozing on the garage couch.

He sat down heavily on the chair next to the couch, glaring at Luke who blinked up at him. "You got me sick."

"Better you than anyone else," Luke croaked, grimacing as he sat up. "You wanna pip off and hang here today? Misery loves company after all."

"I'll get lola to call-on one condition," Bobby argued.

"What's that?" Luke asked.

"We go inside, it's fucking freezing out here."

[silusvesuius]

unleashing the same hellscape i did on my notes app here it's my nelvas thinking dump i wrote just for fun and to keep track of what i view them as up 2 this point. Might change my mind on it later on it has a lot of things written in brackets for no reason . it's like ~2500 words long which isn't much but i think i said everything i've had in my mind for now read it for fun if you like to have fun leik me :) And talvas :) And nelothxP

retyping what i said in the tags of those last text posts and rearranging those thoughts a bit: in my train of thought that's been going steady since early 2024 i'm almost certain that neloth might see talvas as the epitome of being morally Clean (before that changes because of neloth's influence over him) and generally pure as a person. pure not used in the Pervert way; neloth is just a veeery big fan of talvas having absolutely no backbone and being very docile when it comes to him. which is r expected traits 4 someone if they find themselves under neloth's thumb as an apprentice, but it being written that he isn't at all catty and defiant to his face is cute. all talvas manages to do is shit talk neloth to others and pray neloth doesn't find out he meant the things he said but also can’t help feeling bad about it, even though neloth doesn't and wouldn't care, if he found out. neloth is happy with being an obnoxious & disgusting person. truly.. him growing obsessed with talvas' docile and innocent nature doesn't necessarily have to add up to him wanting to Taint or Ruin him (and if it happens ((it does)) it's not done on purpose, neloth can't hold that much control and power of his actions in that specific department). he encounters difficulties when he realizes he actually wants that Elven Twink.. it's too far gone to fix anything after he's tampered with talvas' patience and stability, and even then he can't be honest with talvas about anything, because he still wants to hold a great deal of power over him (neloth essentials for survival).

Might be the type to just want talvas to magically(haha) think it's okay that his wizard master desires him and expect that energy right back without talvas actually acknowledging it because it'd make neloth feel insanely cringy and embarrassed.. humiliated.. EVEN. but that's just in a deep deep dark corner of his mind, he isn't stupid. when trying to gain 'access' to his apprentice ("*His* apprentice" is also kinda funny way of viewing his mind too. just cause talvas is working as an apprentice under him neloth probably already feels a concerning sense of ownership over him that makes him feel very good) he can't even make the signs of interest be apparent to talvas because he's insanely inept at being Soft and honest for obvious reasons. he can tell what possibly could make talvas warm up to him even after he treats him like shit for eons but there's no way he's bringing himself to do it (change is embarrassing, especially in their formal dynamic, and especially at his age). so it's a half-assed attempt (actually he's trying his hardest🙄) to try and make talvas be (at least) less afraid of him. not that talvas has any other place that we know of that he "Belongs" to, he just sticks with neloth regardless of anything. neloth watching him as he sleeps ensues . Guys what do i do to make my apprentice let me hit because all of the eye contact i do with him while gripping his arm or petting his knee isn't helping. 

if we were to go back to how that spark is ignited in neloth swamp of a heart, brain… idk, it has to be when he realizes talvas' capability of forgiveness and 'Sucking it up' instead of lashing out at neloth after .. anything, but perhaps physical abuse in particular. neloth a 100% has absolutely no problem putting his hands on anyone, especially someone he sees so often, such as talvas. not that talvas really annoys him (his clear and voiced obedience pleases neloth as anyone can tell), but he just doesn't see it as too much of a big deal. the physical mistreatment that happens once in a blue moon isn't intense enough to scare off talvas for sure anyways. neloth is a bitch so all he can so is smack him at the back of the head (talvas finds it very normal) and slap him if he's feeling festive (something talvas finds kinda extreme but not that it happens often. he sometimes feels like he deserves it, or that neloth is warranted to do as he pleases. he tosses around it being justified or pitying himself, though). May be possible that neloth would realize he Like Likes talvas once he slaps him, mayhaps, for the first time, but talvas' immediate reaction to being treated like that is just sadness mixed with feeling shame for tearing up/crying in front of someone he respects *bishoujo sparkles sfx*. talvas is a delicate soul so he can't hold warranted emotions like that for long, and even tho it's expected of him to be making eye contact w/ neloth in a setting like that, he wouldn't be able 2 bring himself to do it because looking at neloth would make him wanna burst out in tears like a weeeee baby. Booo hooo.. talvas is the 19th century (4th era) damsel that runs out of the ball in tears after no young cavalier invited her to dance. watch this bleed into the most awkward and silent week of neloth's entire life because talvas doesn't even really feel like speaking to him or looking at him, but neloth doesn't wanna brute force the usual respectful etiquette out of him cus he thinks that's just gonna make talvas hurl himself down on some rough rocks at the seashore. Good thing talvas is very spineless and forgiving (especially in relation to neloth… i mean.. who r YOU to not forgive him) so that might just last a day or two. the hurt always stays tho. neloth this is why talvas doesn't wanna smash you.. you might've made some conclusions about what elven twink you like but talvas is just even more scared of you now. was your Pervert awakening worth it. and even if we do backflips and jump thru the point where everything is too far gone for either of them to go back, dude is still too afraid to make out with his apprentice. Deserve. but why though because talvas wouldn't refuse. for what reason? we may never know

^^^ this makes me feel like i love seeing characters i reaaaalllly love (elenwen and talvas in this case) as enigmas in situations where they're confronted with something so ""Intimate"". elenwen's stance on this is final tho cause she's a grown ass woman and there's no way you could reshape her brain. ulfric left her mind plane in SHAMBLES. talvas has more right (in the literal sense) to be erratic or inconsistent with his actions. maybe he likes to be desired. Also i strongly believe that talvas has probably never been in love (for any reason rly but it's mostly him not having actual time for it + not seeing it as something that is important to him at that point in his life)… i want neloth to be his first experience with Love so that it ruin his view on it forever. can't get myself to say he'd be in love with neloth at any point though. From his standpoint it really should feel empowering and 'nice' that neloth wants him in many ways (ew).. cause that's a man with status.. power.. ability to do anything rly . talvas is in no condition to be playing mind games with him or anything tho so don't get that idea. he's not strong enough of a person to be Tricking anyone or to be Playing with anyone's feelings. neloth would be immune to that, too. neloth can just kinda tell talvas is too good and … UNTAINTED. talvas wants to see the best in everyone. too bad he genuinely detests you, neloth.. so: he doesn't actually love neloth but wouldn't be happy to see his tombstone either. SO (PART TWO): if you time it right he wouldn't be against getting Freakkkkyyyy with you okay?but no promises

even if @ some point talvas develops indistinct feelings towards neloth cause of neloth's own incessant weird-mild advances it wouldn't have to mean he just likes old men permanently now. actually it kinda does. i can sorta feel it rearranging his braincells and making him unable to normally interact with people in his age range. he probably already had a hard time talking to others in hopes of developing a friendship just cause he's timid but after neloth's nonstop abuse and Accidental romance mind games he morphs into a whole new type of guy. it's hard to notice at first but he'd probably just start to leech off of neloth's prissy and unbearable personality in a natural course of things + neloth is the only person he sees and talks to on the regular pretty much. < this can just be reworded as just the cycle of abuse and whatnot. if he notices an opening in the abilities and Smarts of another person, especially someone his age/younger, he will automatically see them as umm…stupid. and also insult your abilities to your face if he snaps. he strikes me as the type to be afraid to say what he really thinks (another consequence of being glued to neloth all the time when all talvas does is act like he totally respects anything he says) and gets scared if anything slips out his mouth but is proud in letting the "Truth" be known because he already figured out you're a lesser being than him. he's just cloning neloth's verbal abuse braincells though he would never put his hands on someone. his desire to be mean and see himself as superior stems from neloth always disparaging him obviously.. talvas 4 that reason is very self conscious of his abilities and doesn't rly think he's all that useful or talented. his self doubt then would play into how he doesn't know when to believe what others are saying to and about him.. i wanna imagine that talvas is very oblivious to neloth's weirdo status just cause he partly doesn't even want that thought to cross his mind. i bet everyone but him sees it and finds it gross😕 but nobody in the vicinity is strong enough to tell neloth that he should be ashamed LMFAO. if you would try and even hint to talvas that it's happening he'd never take you seriously and just get mad. he's protective of neloth's image more than neloth himself is; not that people knowing neloth has abnormal sodomistic inclinations toward his apprentice would make his public image worse than it already is (everyone already thinks he's weird so it's not shocking at all) but talvas still wouldn't wanna hear it cause he thinks it's just false. maybe he's just ashamed that he's being brought into the whole thing. also because he doesn't wanna face the reality EJI23JRIO32KJ Well talvas when neloth makes an actual move on you don't say that we didn't warn you.. we're all waiting till neloth's status as an obvious apprentice-pervert becomes obvious to you

even if he's willingly ignorant of the fact he still thinks of the 'accusations' a lot when he feels like it. and unknowingly begins feeling even more uncomfortable in neloth's presence. heart starts beating faster and everything. neloth could come up to him meters away and talvas would still cover his mouth in realization and be like "i knew it… the DB told me but i didn't wanna believe it …..😦 so you really do like young men … and you're in love with me ..😨" *Neloth wakes up from this fever dream drenched in sweat* < neloth doesn't want (obvi) talvas to react that way at any point because he himself would just get scared so they'd just be staring at each other wide eyed. but talvas jumping into his advances isn't what he wants either (that'll also scare him). neloth is still relying on talvas' politeness to let him do as he pleases. but it is impossible for talvas to let it slide without questioning anything regardless so🤷‍♀️ take your few Ls and move on. neloth just wants talvas to sit on his lap. wants to spoonfeed him soup. he's so romantic. he also wants to(sniper on rooftop blows my head to bits). neloth is actually a pretty touchy feely person when he's feeling Frisky (=deranged about talvas). I'm certain his favorite part of talvas' body is his legs. talvas has beautiful young man skipping leg day legs. so nothing special at all but neloth wants to touch them lol.. let your master wizard squeeze your calves and he might just be occupied enough like a kid playing with a fidget toy to not abuse you verbally for 3 seconds. as i said befoar neloth is unpleasant with his touch because he doesn't know how to be soft + doesn't even want it to necessarily feel very 'rewarding' as to not pamper talvas. petting talvas kinda turns into a nervous habit for himself and an instrument of some sort of Reassurance 4 talvas when he wants him to know he’s not mad, for example. non-vebal confirmation. talvas still finds it weird but thinks it’s a charm point too. neloth wouldn't even be against touching him familiarly in front of others but only in a "older male figure" ways ex. touching his knee or putting his hand at the back of his neck (talvas sees it as some sort of disciplinary tactic though). physical touch that matches neloth's age and is enough for it to be seen as not necessarily romantic / overtly weird. 

there'ssssss no saving talvas after such a powerful person gets his hands on him. any will to leave would leave HIM either out of fear or out of attachment and neloth wouldn't just let him go (Alive at least) since he knows the things he knows. if talvas were to escape i'm a Truther of him not feeling in place and wanting to go back cause it's the stability that he's used to. but tbh if he encounters neloth on accident anywhere he's gonna start running. I was drinking tea while writing this and started choking on it i just nearly died writing this are youhappy. anyways, nelvas is a never-ending abusive relationship that doesn’t even have High highs, all it has is low lows. neloth always mistreats talvas for any reason but is never genuinely kind from the heart or out of remorse. .. hmm……yeah. I forgot to type this back out from my posts tags > talvas might just start viewing neloth as fuck crazy and demented after he Finally notices at least one molecular sign of gay attention from him . like ‘Oh wow Master Neloth obviously doesn’t get any female attention or anything cus he’s a sick fuck why does he have to search for it from me Can varona take the hit for me 🥺 *sees her dead body being dragged by the DB* hmm i guess not well i’ll figure something out i guess’ (he doesn’t) also the dialogue talvas has with varona after he steals neloth’s book trying to conjure some bs up will always be so cute to me he’s so defensive and afraid of neloth finding out. Him trying to decipher neloth’s handwriting is cute TOO ik their 19th century love letters to each other would go crazy and make sense to anyone but each other but i’m not gonna talk about 19th century girl talvas x neloth rn it’s too much . what ever. i think i’m done thank you i should just go back to drawing them as grecian pottery red figures or smthj Fun stats for you 4 getting to the end: times the word ‘abuse’ is used: 6

[oulkheir]

kaji akihiko's early behaviour

this analysis won't go very far nor in the real depths of the character, but i just wanted to talk about something i realised way too late about akihiko's behaviour.

actually, it never occurred to me that he was a jerk (talking about his old him) before he assaulted haruki. akihiko has always been flirty with haruki and it never seemed to be a problem to me. he was kind of having fun but he looks to be the flirty type with anyone in general and it didn't cause any harm to haruki. i was completely fine with it - also because he looked hot, to be honest. in fact, i was thinking all that when i was sure akihiko had no clue of haruki's feelings.

now, i rewind the assault scene (terrible) and realise that he knew all along... whenever akihiko used his charms with haruki, like giving him nicknames or touching his hair out of the blue, even pushing him to gamble on the boys with him, he knew it would always work because he was aware of haruki's feelings.

what does it change, you're gonna ask me?

well, 2 major things :

- the moment he tells haruki he knows about his feelings is an even bigger plot twist for us than it looks like. haruki let akihiko sleep at his place several times, he let him touch his hair and flirt with him because he thought he was acting like this innocently. though akihiko was already taking advantage of him because he had no intention of giving anything in return.

- it's more or less relevant, but akihiko's assault on haruki was not a sudden turning point (on a second thought), but rather the icing on the cake of all his previous behaviours. as i just said, he was drinking at night knowing he could sleep at haruki's in any case, he was messing with him knowing that he wouldn't hate him anyway. he was mad when he assaulted him, but he was still being himself : just a little more pushy than usual. that means that him being pushy doesn't come out of nowhere, he's always been the "bad guy" type at the beginning (and actually, even haruki was aware of that, this is why he's not really surprised by him having this type of behaviour afterwards, he didn't have high expectations of him).

all this may have looked obvious to many people but damn i'm so slow in the process sometimes so i wanted to share my revelation haha. and more importantly when i started watching given i was a huge fan of akihiko so it just disappointed me so much when i read the assault scene, yet now i realised there was unfortunately nothing to expect from him, and all what he did finally makes sense.

of course, it's still the key scene of their story because it's the moment akihiko realises how much of a jerk he's been with haruki all this time. and it's by this time that haruki loses hope in him because until then, he still thought that being nice to akihiko would influence his feelings.

no need to say that akihiko's redemption arc was beautifully written and that it felt as natural as refreshing. he put a lot of effort into changing for haruki, but also to become the better version of himself.

i also love the fact that they both fall in love with each other a second time, in better conditions. haruki first fell for a bad boy he thought he never had a chance with, then he fell again for a man doing his best to become someone respectable. on the other hand, akihiko first fell for a cute and funny man without looking further into him, then he fell again for the one who could always reach out to him and help him staying on the right path.

p.s. : i did not mention ugetsu here, because he's not the point of my analysis, but there's no need to precise that he played a crucial role in akihiko's damage and cold reactions towards anything involving love. maybe we'll talk about him another time cos he's my baby🎀

[pawnshopbleus]

Put Me in a Movie - Chapter Eight

Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader

Summary - You’re a famous actress and he’s one of the greatest directors of all time. What happens when you get cast in his new movie?

Chapter Seven

Sleep came to you easily that night. Adrenaline was still hot and heavy in your veins as your head hit the pillow. You still couldn't believe it. Miguel actually fought someone for you. If he was willing to do that then, was he willing to do anything?

Stella called you early in the morning. By that time, your phone was already blowing up with messages and calls. People asking for your side of the story, people wanting to know the details. You hated people like that, desperate for the latest celebrity news. Maybe that way their lives could feel less lonely. 

"Hello," you said on the phone, voice still groggy from sleep.

"There is no way in hell that I just had to find out from Instagram that Miguel O'Hara fought someone for you," Stella sounded mad. Not at the fact that you had people fighting for you, but at the fact that she had to find out drama from a second party and not you. Stella hated being left out.

"Sorry, Stella Bella, I guess I just forgot." Stella groaned at the nickname. Stella Bella was a nickname that you came up with a few years back. She hated it and you loved that she hated it. 

Stella then proceeds to scold you for the next twenty minutes using almost every curse word in her vocabulary (which was a lot.) She told you that you needed to be more careful. She said that you had a "tendency to act out under the influence." Stella was your friend, but at the end of the day, she still worked for you. You were not going to stand for this blatant act of disrespect. 

"Stella, if you're going to call me and attack me for something that I didn't have control of, at least make your argument interesting, " and with that, you hung up the phone. No 'goodbye' or 'see you later' in sight.

You felt bad, but Stella needed to learn her place. Yes, she was your manager and in charge of your career, but she had no right to talk to you like that. You often missed the funny and witty banter that found its way into your conversations with Stella, but lately, those traits were soon replaced with criticism and hate. Hopefully, she will realize her mistake and apologize.

Later that day on set, you found yourself put off by random things that used to bring you joy. Like Peter's stories about his wife and daughter or Jessica's presence. All you were focused on was what you said to Stella that morning.

Your demeanor did not go unnoticed. A lot of people on set noticed that you were sort of off today. They could tell by the way that your laughter didn't fill the room when Robert, the guy operating the boom, said a stupid joke. 

Miguel noticed that you weren't wearing your bracelet. It was a bracelet your mother gave you before she passed away. You mentioned in an interview once that you never leave home without the bracelet and that if you did, something definitely was wrong.

Miguel let everyone out for lunch early.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?" Miguel asked you.

You nodded and let him guide you to a secluded spot. The action mimicked the one from last night. Your hand in his, guiding him to the dance floor.

"You seem off today," he commented.

"Oh, I'm fine, it's just something I said this morning." You told the truth, but that didn't mean it was the entire truth.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he sounded sincere. Miguel looked down at you, "I can't have my actors going around looking sad. There's work to be done, but if you have something bothering you then I need to know."

You contemplated telling him the entire truth. Would he look at you differently if he knew of the things you said to Stella?

You huffed. You were a grown woman and not to mention one of the greatest actresses of the century. You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself. It was your own fault for bridging the line between business and pleasure with Stella. She was a great person and all, but the only reason that the two of you met was because she saw your potential.

"No, nothing's bothering me. I just need to go and salvage a professional relationship. Other than that, everything's fine now." You thanked him for having that quick chat. You began walking away, eager to eat some lunch when Miguel stopped you. He placed his hand on your shoulder. His touch was light in comparison to the death grip he had on the man that called you bitch last night.

"I just wanted to apologize for last night," Miguel ran his hand through his perfectly styled hair, "I let my emotions get the best of me and I shouldn't have reacted that way."

Why the hell was he apologizing for sticking up for you? Maybe he felt bad because of how unprofessional it looked, but the two of you were dancing on each other seconds before the incident occurred.

Nevertheless, you smiled, "Thank you for the apology, Miguel." You left out the fact that you liked it, that you liked him. You liked the idea of Miguel protecting you. There weren't many things in life that you enjoyed. It was all becoming too repetitive, but he and Fern were the only two things keeping you from going insane. Without them, you were sure that you would have been on the long list of actors and actresses that died way too young.

You turned around once more and walked away. Miguel watched as you walked away and he couldn't help but sigh. At first, he wasn't going to apologize. Then he realized that that might be a dick move considering that his actions might have caused you discomfort or embarrassment. The last thing Miguel wanted was for you to feel those kinds of emotions.

Peter and Jessica immediately sensed your changing mood. The pep in your step was back and the sparkle in your eyes returned. You sat next to Jessica with your tray in hand and smiled at the two adults in front of you. You took your apple from your tray, threw it up with the left, and caught it with the right, giving them a show.

"Well, you sure seem happier," Jessica states matter-of-factly.

"I guess I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Plus, all my problems have solutions so no need to worry," you shrugged.

You needed to apologize to Stella and set professional boundaries. No talking about parties unless they were work events, no talking about personal problems, no gossiping like you were high schoolers, etcetera. And so you did, that night you stayed on the phone talking and devising plans with Stella on the way to navigate the future of your relationship. It would be hard considering your past, but the future is always something to look forward to.

"Glad to see you're all better." You'd received another text from another unknown number, but the number didn't stay unknown for long. This time, accompanying the text was a simple heart made out of a three, a less-than sign, and his name. A name so simple yet it was rich with meaning: Miguel.

You made sure to save the number this time. 

Chapter Nine

[insanityisdivine]

Get to Know Me and My Obsession with KISS 🎸

Thanks for the tag @starry-eyed-never-satisfied

1. Who is your favourite member?

Okay. Paul is my first love but sexy Ace is competing with him but god I have to say Paul.

2. Who is your least favourite member?

Everyone saying Mark. I know nothing bout him

3. Best album?

RARO ...I'm assuming studio albums and live albums don't count???

4. Worst album?

I didn't listen to their last two albums and have no intention to do so ATM

5. Favourite song?

THIS IS TOO HARD TO CHOOSE. Guess I gotta say Love Gun Though But I love C'mon and Love Me!

6. Say one nice thing about each member.

Paul- He's the STAR of KISS. I probably wouldn't have gotten into KISS if it weren't for him. Everything I adore and want to be

Gene- I wanna listen to him talk while we share milk and chocolate chip cookies together

Peter- I have a soft spot for him. I think he can be really sweet and cute

Ace- Sexy, trashy, baby girl, sexy girl in hooker boots. Wanna bend over and smack that ass. He and Paul are my bisexual fantasies. BUT SERIOUSLY, The first guitar player that made me go WOW. Never got the hype about lead guitarists before but then I was thinking of 80s rock and 80's rock solos never resonated with me. His solos are iconic, not just shredding/mindless noodling. As someone who never learned how to read music, I think it's amazing he influenced many to learn. I'd love to learn how to play. Not to be in a band but I've always wanted to play a guitar. Also, I'd love to hang out with him. He's funny and bright. I think there's softness to him and I'd like to believe (coming from a fan, of course) that he's a good person. He also reminds me of my ex early 90s era....so I guess I have a soft spot for him

Eric C- I wish I could meet him. If I had to pick one member I could meet it would be him because I know he'd be super sweet

Vinnie- talented songwriter and amazing voice. Gorgeous

Mark- He did his job on Animalize

Bruce- Super sweet. He was the cutie of the group during revenge era ngl. Paul had competition.

Eric S- Seems really funny. got a nice tight body. seems every KISS drummer has a nice bod.

Tommy- Loyal and hard working. I can see why KISS kept him. Honestly he'd the kind of guy you want in your group.

7. What do you dislike about each member?

Gene- Condescending. I can see he has some views on things that I'd butt heads with him on

Paul- Overly critical of others, may come across cold. He scares me. y'all see his posts for new years???? He can come across very hurtful in his choice of words

Peter- Bitter (in the past it seems) and tbh some of the shit I read and heard that unfortunately was allowed to slide (sometimes even passed off as "funny" stories). It's a sensitive topic for me.

Ace- like Peter, awful things said and done that cannot be solely blamed on addiction which I'm very glad he recovered from btw. I'm honestly glad I never put this man on a pedestal and it's not just because "he's human like the rest of us". lol I love him but I'm glad I've been exposed to the bad early on this obsession so I don't have any unrealistic ideas about ppl, you know? I think I need to sleep with him to sort out these feelings lol

Eric C- I don't know that much to comment and feels almost unfair because he was taken away from us much too soon

Vinnie- stop scamming people omg. the insanity and charging ppl for memberships and you haven't released shit???

Mark- don't know about him. can't comment

Bruce- Maybe too nice for his own good.

Eric S- I don't know. Should have created a sex tape with Gene

Tommy- Kinda weird seeing him try to mimic Ace's facial expressions. One thing to imitate solos and his space persona but his mannerisms? I dunno just weird to see someone mimic what Ace's face naturally does? Kissy pouty lips only work for Ace

8. How did you get into KISS?

years ago, just bombarded with their imagery and sound on TV shows

9. Have you been to a concert?

Their last show. Crushing, I know

10. Do you have any merch?

I have a shirt

11. Unique thing you have related to KISS?

None, sadly. Like I have nothing solid if that's what you mean. anything that may have in common? sure but feels too personal to share here

12. Who is/are your favourite lineup?

This is hard because early 90s KISS was TIGHT. but I'll always love the original 4, but sweet Foxy and Brucie is so precious

13. What's your favourite era?

FUCCKKK....see this is hard. I have a big soft spot for Dynasty/Unmasked but I also love DTK and HTH

14. What are your opinions on Tommy and Eric?

They did their job. If they hadn't stepped in I wouldn't have seen KISS final show and for that I am grateful. I enjoyed their participation.

15. A question you would ask the band if you could?

I'd ask if I could suck their dick. That's tough. What haven't they've been asked before? Honestly I got some questions for Ace that's been bugging me and I know I'd never get them answered unless I knew him personally and had a real heart-to-heart conversion. I dunno I can only go off from a fan's perspective about how that'll go

16. What other bands/artists are you into?

Led Zeppelin, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, Lady Gaga, Stromae, used to really like Adam Ant, The Sweet, OLP, Franz Ferdinand, Daft Punk. I listen to all kinds of genres and artists so I like what I like

17. Do you have a KISSona?

Don't have one. I'm assuming like a fursona? lol

18. Who are some of your favourite blogs?

@ladyshandioftheendless @elrohare @silverstarfoxx (thank you for tolerating all my pestering! never hesitate to reach out to me for more Ace goodies!) @notpaulsguitar @ohblackdiamond (though tbh I swear you have answered this lol) @space-frehley-22 @spacefoxy (resident eric carr connoisseur) @speckster (you have crazy ass edits) and same goes for @bangbangyou love your funny memes. the IP address as a response always gets me lol @starry-eyed-never-satisfied (you already did this but adding you here anyway fellow Paulie enjoyer!) There's many more I wish I could just mass tag KISS blogs lol. There are blogs that are no longer active but I am glad they are still around

19. If you could spend a day with one member who would it be?

Hard because I love Paul but he scares me. I think I'd need more than a day to get comfortable with him. I'd love to spend a day with Eric C or Bruce because they seem the nicest. Maybe I'd love to hang with Peter now. Gene, may be fun. He's a good talker. Though it be fun to get one-on-one time with Ace. I'd love a tour of all his tech and then we can compare and just geek out on technology.

20. How would you explain the band to someone who isn't familiar with KISS?

I don't know. Honestly the other people who answered this already gave greats explanations. So many pass judgment on them without giving them a chance. They're a one-of-a-kind experience. There will never be a band like them.

[ink-flavored]

Uncommon Questions: Pride: 1, 22, 38, A || Justice: 29, 37, 38, E

thank you! <3

Pride

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Oh, like, 30 seconds. Pride needs to be Doing Something all the time or he gets itchy. Allergic to sitting still. Unless he's sleeping, in which case, don't you dare try to make him do things.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Pride is a very jealous person, and this will come up in the story,

He's a funny guy, since he can taste when there's envy around, it actually puffs him up a bit. Ha, those people are envious of ME because I am so awesome. But even if there's no envy to be detected, if someone starts getting too friendly with something - or someone - he's decided is for Him Only he gets very possessive.

There's definitely going to be a moment early on in their relationship where Pride drops a bomb of sinful influence and/or scares the shit out of anyone who is staring at Justice for longer than he deems appropriate because Fuck You He's Mine. And then Justice has to tell him to cut that shit out.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

Falling from Heaven. As much as he likes to say he doesn't care about the past, he very much does. It's difficult to forget being cast out of your only home and being told you deserve to suffer for eternity.

A. Why are you excited about this character?

He is my scrungly scrimbo. My angry little rat man. He is chewing on the bars of his cage. I am pinching his cheeks and he hates it.

Okay but seriously, Pride means a lot to me as a character. He's very traumatized, very shitty person, who believes he doesn't deserve to be happy but acts self-assured out of spite. He simultaneously believes and can't believe what people say about him. He thinks he's flawless and worthless at the same time. He doesn't believe he'll ever be forgiven, so he has to believe everything he's ever done is right.

I'm excited for his growth. I'm excited to write a character who has done bad things, some of which are forgiven, some aren't. But he learns to accept himself anyway, moves forward instead of constantly looking back. He's given permission to heal for the first time, and that story of his is really important to me.

Justice

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

This is such a good question, because Justice's ideals are in question from basically the first moment of the story. His ideals, up to that point, had been to serve whatever God says is just and good—generally help people, aid those in need, killing is wrong, etc.. But after being told an innocent human life is acceptable collateral damage, he's having some conflict with that message!

His story is about building up his own ideals, reshaping the things he was taught and still truly believes in, if only other people weren't twisting them to suit whatever they wanted to do anyway. He goes from "do the things God says are just and righteous" to "do what is just and righteous, no matter what God says". And you can swap out "God" for any authority there.

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Not really? He just remembers stuff. He cares a lot and commits things to memory because it would be rude not to remember someone's name. That's all he needs.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

In both a positive and negative way, the moment he became Realized, was gifted his name, and got to choose his human-body-form. In a good way because, yay I have a purpose and a body and I can hug my sister, all that good stuff. But negatively... it was also the turning point in his life when he was "enlisted" (I guess?) into Heaven's army. It's where he was taught all his perfectionism, what to do, how to be pure and righteous, to not stray from the path. God gave him the free will to discover himself, but immediately took that free will away to give him a role to serve. It's shaped his life in many, many ways.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

In lore, Justice automatically makes humans comfortable and feel safe with his angel aura, so for sure I would get along with him lmao

I think outside of that, our personalities would mesh pretty well—and I'm not saying that because I want to be his friend so bad. We both like books and analysis of said books. I think he would be a really fun person to have Deep Conversations with, you know? The meaning of life and all that. And I know in my heart, Justice is the kind of guy who always picks the good options in RPGs because he can't bring himself to be mean to any of the characters. Same.

[send me an uncommon OC ask]

[blindrapture]

july 28.

the end of San Francisco, a rapture log play in five acts.

july 24th, act 1, was 3,000 words. july 25th, act 2, was 2,500 words. july 26th, act 3, was 8,800 words. july 27th, act 4, was 6,100 words. july 28th, act 5, was 4,700 words.

the total is 25,100 words. for one serial in the greater story's act 2. this was over a third of the length of act 1 as a whole. and also like half of a nanowrimo? but I wrote San Francisco over the course of... about a week, back in late April or early May. I'm still not ready to tell you the word count for act 2 as a whole.

they're big numbers, these word counts. but now that you've actually read some Long Logs, you might have an idea of why I don't want to give the big numbers until you're done! these logs are actually pretty damn engaging! to know ahead of time how long it is would be discouragement, or even a real risk of discouragement. and I want readers. :( (plus, how do you think I feel? having to write the damn stuff! when I saw the total word count for act 2, that actually just made it way harder to start act 3. I gotta keep reminding myself that short logs are okay!)

...so.

so San Francisco.

if you were to go back and read the earlier drafts of this serial, the difference is stark. a couple of elements are the same: Jordan and Donnie have a disagreement, they're staying with these RAF folks (with the same names), on day 4 they burn down the Golden Gate Bridge as things go bad, and on day 5 the Judge takes the city. but the old serial was.... oh my god so empty. so short.

there's a reason for this. I mean, yes, I wrote it when I was 16 years old, but I had already demonstrated I was interested in challenging myself, taking the time to make plots more elaborate. but the problem was this was November 2011, and I was going through hell. I had run away from home, given a plane ticket to go back to America, was staying in a house where I wasn't really.. wanted! had gotten myself back into high school, entirely of my own accord. was sleeping in the damn living room for months in a house of 10 residents, with my brother as landlord. my brother may have been able to stick up for me more, but he had jobs keeping him out of the house. so I had to deal with the catty underhanded group dynamics myself, when I was home from school; I had no bedroom to retreat to. even though this literally was the house I had grown up in, now deteriorating with garbage and poor upkeep by all these residents. and anyway, then, in November, one last resident had a beef with me. it wasn't because of anything I had done. it was just vibes. he was like that. and he had guns, and he had crude sensibilities, and he liked to think of himself as a drill instructor, and.

god I really hated that guy. >_< he was the basis for the Cody character. though Cody is much less of an asshole. the real guy wouldn't have ever given me a chance to explain myself, wouldn't have disarmed himself, wouldn't have stopped until I was gone. because he didn't! I left. I went home. not immediately, and not directly because of him, but. it was bad news after bad news, okay, and all things being equal I might have been able to face it all, staying in America was what I was made for... but I was already damaged goods. I didn't have it in me anymore.

and. yeah. I also didn't have it in me to give rapture the treatment it deserved.

so. fast forward to 2024, and I'm already rewriting act 2, and I get to San Francisco and feel this immense... shame inside me. I did not like to revisit that serial, because of the time of my life that it represented, and when I did revisit it there was nothing fucking there. so I knew I had to rewrite it better. apparently I took that real seriously. I think San Francisco is one of the best parts of the story now and can only hope I can match it later on.

but, like. one of the things I did in rewriting San Francisco was fictionalize the Cody character more. by fleshing him out, basing him off of more influences (such as Alex Kralie!), giving him more time to speak and show his own nuances, I was able to... if not "put some closure on the past," then at least disentangle some memories and separate the past from this story of mine that means... so much...

yeah. writing the new San Fran was therapeutic. and it produced a really cool piece of fiction. a tale of humanity, another look at our gods. another chance for EAT to speak.

yeah.

///////////////////

music pieces referenced in log 5, "Synecdoche."

first is "Music for the Funeral of Queen Mary," by Henry Purcell. the actual original piece is somewhat obscure, but depending on what media you grew up with, as soon as you hear the horns come in you'll know exactly how it goes.

what a fucking piece. brilliant chord progressions. gives me chills.

as Jordan mentioned in the log, he had heard the song through much more modern contexts.

Kubrick nuts, and also all you trans girls out there, will be much more familiar with Wendy Carlos's rendition of the piece, as used in the opening to A Clockwork Orange.

but then I, me, DJay and Jordan, I did not grow up with this. (I didn't watch A Clockwork Orange until I was about 14 or 15, and I really wasn't much of a film appreciator then. the film bored me, except when it wigged me out.)

I grew up with Conker's Bad Fur Day.

honestly, if you haven't ever seen this game, I've gotta recommend it. seeing it. not really playing it. it is the one and only Rare game I grew up with, and was probably the N64 game that my brothers and I played the most. I was watching this game when I was 9 years old. (I have since gone on to beat it myself. it's a journey, for sure! but brutally hard at random times.)

it's actually almost definitely a big influence on me. when I stop and think, "hey, actually, Conker was a long unbroken journey filled with pastiches taken weirdly seriously, featuring a guy who's too tired to really object to the ridiculousness around him," I.. yeah, that definitely had a hand in shaping me as a storyteller. plus, "Nintendo with adult themes" means everything to me. "a game that should not exist" means everything to me. and frankly it is a way more clever video game than it had any right to be.

but. anyway. Conker begins with a pastiche of the opening to A Clockwork Orange. and I will have seen that cutscene a thousand times-- and yet I never got tired of it. the song especially makes it so rewatchable. such class. god, what a song.

.....right, anyway.

the other song referenced in the log is:

the thing is, there is no way Jordan would have known the name of this piece, nor the name of the person who wrote it. by all accounts, he would have just been like "oh yeah, it's That song." and I would have written it that way, but.

there's just no way to fucking casually refer to this song using words. there are, I mean, there are ways to, but those ways would also refer to many other pieces of classical music.

so I took some artistic license. hell, maybe the Legstep first played an audio file of some deep-voice man saying "Good morning. We'll start off this beautiful morning with a classic. This is Edvard Grieg, Morgenstimmung." and so maybe Jordan's words are a shortening of that. that's plausible.

but the point was, Jordan woke up in this gorgeous natural rabbit hole hearing one very specific song. you know the song. I promise you, you do, with 100% certainty.

yeah, you know the one.

I dunno, I thought this was somewhat funny.

it's also a dividing line. before this point, we were still in the San Francisco serial, albeit in a sort of coda to it. after sleeping, we're waking up to some new plotline. a new A-plot.

and that A-plot begins with this song.

/////////////

if you're wondering what "synecdoche" is, or "sin-ECK-duh-key," you can google it. or I guess I could just tell you.

it's a specific rhetorical device, one you'll also be familiar with, if not the word for it. it's the use of a Piece in substitution for the Whole. or vice versa, the use of a Whole in substitution for a Piece!

the example I usually know it by is, like. newspaper articles saying "the White House responded to the news..." where "the White House" is used as a Whole, substituting for the Piece (the White House's press response team!). or "Hollywood won't like that..." using "Hollywood" to refer to some specific people within Hollywood.

that's synecdoche! it's rhetoric. it's used in journalism and poetry alike.

this log is titled synecdoche for... some reasons. admittedly I don't entirely remember them all. but the obvious one is the court of the Judge, where he makes his sentence by synecdoche, assigning the same sentence to the individual as to the whole city. it's not fair for making sentences. but the Judge probably isn't all that fair, is he?

alright. see you tomorrow. :)

[yutasbellybuttonpiercing]

Make me sin - MK.L

Pairing: Mark Lee x fem!reader

Word count: 7946 words

AU/Genre: kinda childhood friends!AU, churchboy!mark, bad influence!reader, smut, fluff, angst?, humor

Warnings: biblical themes, christianity, this is practically 7k of blasphemy and some change (I'm sorry), mentioned alcohol abuse, smoking (cigarettes), corruption (in both a sexual and non-sexual way) mentions of masturbation (m), oral (m & f receiving), deepthroating, hand job, dirty talk, facial, fingering (f receiving), cumming in pants

Summary: Your questionable lifestyle does not sit right with your parents. Hence, you're sent on a field trip of your local church in hopes of a positive outcome. As you meet the other supervisor Mark, a long forgotten childhood friend of yours, you're itching to crumble down his walls of dedication to christianity to get him to sleep with you. But what if the awkward churchboy tickles feelings out of you that you haven't felt before?

A/n: please keep in mind that this is fictional, it does not mean I agree with the reader's opinions, choices or actions. Stay safe and respectful when it comes to religion. Also, this is kinda fast paced, there could have been more pushing and pulling, but I kinda like it like this.

Your parents never asked much of you, not when your sibling was born, not after your grandparents died, not when you moved out because your parents didn't approve of your party lifestyle. They just let you be. And maybe that had been the problem.

To say you're a troublemaker would be cringe, but accurate. For the third time this year, your parents had to bail you out of jail - nothing serious, just problems you'll get with the law if you're someone who parties (too) often - and they were not happy about that to say the least.

"Please, for once in your life, please listen to us," your mother begs you, "please go on the field trip with the confirmation class of our church. I promise, it will help you get better..."

"I've already talked to the pastor and he agreed. You're going. End of discussion. Now get in the car, I bet you're still too drunk to drive." Your father holds open the door for you.

And with that, it was settled. You don't know why supervising a bunch of teenagers (?) to make sure they're not drinking or having sex would help with your alcohol and finance problems, but here you are: 10am sharp with your luggage in front of the church.

To be honest, you're still kind of hung over, but at least you look somewhat presentable with two aspirin in your system. Your hair's up with a big black hair clip, your body wrapped in the clothing of the night before, but covered with a decent looking coat from your mom. At least, your parents allowed you to bring your own clothing...

"Hey!" A voice greets you. "Are you here as a supervisor?"

You turn around until you're eye to eye with some guy. He must be a little taller than you, but right now - because of your plateau boots - you're at eye level. He grins brightly. He's kinda cute.

And he looks kind of familiar...

"Yeah?" You answer.

"Sweet! I'm Mark. May God bless you!" He beams. Where does he get all his energy from this early in the morning? Probably he just slept enough, unlike someone else who'd been up until 5am to get picked up at the police station by their parents...

"Mark?! You mean as in Mark Lee?" You can't believe your ears.

"Wait-"

"The last time I've seen you, we were like- what? Seven?"

"Dude, what?! That's crazy! I didn't even recognize you! Wow, you changed so much, what are you up to? I haven't seen you around here on Sundays, are you always skipping church or what?" He laughs, putting his hand on your shoulder. You eye his hand on your shoulder dismissively until he draws it back.

"Actually, I don't come to church at all. The last time I've been here was when I was 10 because I heard they gave out free cookies on Christmas." Your fake-smiling lips turn into a tight-lipped line. "Turns out they weren't."

Mark laughs. "Yo, dude, you're so funny. Just like old times! Imagine not going to church." He leans forward to catch his breath from laughing so hard. You ask yourself what's wrong with him.

Mark Lee. The son of your father's best friend a couple of years ago. They got into an argument over some stupid shit so you weren't allowed to hang out with Mark anymore. Mark's grown up so much, of course, but he's still cute, like he was on your playdates all those years ago. Now you'd rather have a different kind of playdate with him...

The next second, the bus arrives and Mark counts the children (???) (you should find out how old these people are) and then guides everyone onto the bus. Once everyone's inside, he sticks his head out of the bus door. "You coming?"

What else are you supposed to do...

After putting your luggage into the bus, you climb inside and sit down at your assigned seat next to Mark who gets up to give a speech for the- kids? You take this opportunity to quickly switch seats with him so you're next to the window.

He just accepts this and sits down, then the bus begins to move. After about 5 minutes, you realize that this was a mistake. You swear that if you hear one more person talking about God you will hop off this bus and get drunk at the next gas station. Instead, you put in your AirPods and listen to some music.

You're 3 songs in when suddenly someone removes your right AirPod. You slowly turn your head, glaring at the culprit, Mark, who just puts the air pod into his own ear while asking what you're listening to.

LibidO by OnlyOneOf keeps playing and after a few lines, Mark looks at you, shocked.

"Yo, we can't be listening to this. This is not something Jesus would approve. It contains hmhmhm themes..." Mark whispers to you and you almost spit in his face with how hard you snort from laughing. Then you realize he's serious. Did he really just censor that word?

"Chill, bro, it's just music."

So you continue to listen to your playlist. And Mark does even bop his head to it.

Mark is immensely emerged in his bible the next time you look over at him. Of course you could talk to him and catch up, but actually, you don't care. You probably won't even see him again after this trip, so why bother with making awkward smalltalk? Mark also doesn't seem to be interested in your hobbies or which classes made you drop out of college.

The bus has mostly gone quiet, some people where sleeping, others talking lowly in the back, you finally get the chance to take in the beauty that had become Mark, he had a cute face, still, but his chest area was actually pretty nicely built such as his ass which you saw earlier when he got on the bus.

Something inside of you tells you that you probably shouldn't think like this, but you can't help but to imagine what he would be like in bed. A shy church boy in the streets... you know what they say. You kind of want to find out what happens when you tease him a little.

So you pretend to be stretching, making sure to move enough to get his attention on you before spreading your legs to touch his and pushing your arms together so he can get a great view on your cleavage. In the corner of your eye, you can see him gulp. You smirk.

Pressing your leg further against his, you sit back and relax, feeling the warmth of his thigh against your own. A wave of arousal floods over you and you have to ask yourself: has it really been that long for you to get horny because someone's leg is touching yours? Apparently.

"What are you doing, Markie?" You whisper a little too close to his ear, visually seeing him shiver.

"Uh, I was just reading my bible." Mark seems a little nervous.

"Can you explain it to me~?" You ask him in a sweet voice, biting your lip. Maybe he is into dumb girls?

"Well, see, in this part-"

"What about the story where Jesus is nailed to the cross." You look deep into his eyes "Wouldn't you like to do that with me?"

"Uh, well, I guess that would hurt-"

"I like it when it hurts, Mark."

"I'd have to put nails through your palms..."

"Wouldn't you like to see me spread out for you, naked and completely at your mercy?" You put your hand on his thigh. "If you know what I mean?"

In Mark's head, it seems to be clicking, finally. His mouth shapes an "o" as his eyes flicker down to your lips, then your cleavage, then back up to your eyes. Then his ears turn red. "I-I mean..."

"Don't tell me you believe in this 'no sex before marriage'-thing." You gesture the quotation marks in the air with your fingers, a mocking tone on your tongue that Mark seems to miss.

"I-" He leans closer to whisper, "I do, but it's not like I have never done the thing... I did it twice and had to ask for forgiveness afterwards"

"Really?" You raise an eyebrow, he nods. You can't decide if this means more or less fun for you. Who would have thought you'd meet old childhood friend Mark on this trip - and then plan on twisting his morals and get him to fuck you?

After what seems like forever, you finally arrive. You put the teens in their rooms and then go to your own, unpacking and chilling a bit before dinner. On the way there you realize that you and Mark would be sharing a room and this gives you an idea.

Mark sits on his bed on the left side of the room, you excused yourself a few minutes ago to change your clothing in the bathroom. As you come back, now dressed in a revealing, cropped shirt, Mark's eyes fall directly onto your tits, mouth hanging open a little as he takes in the sight.

"Like what you see, baby boy?" You grin as you step towards him.

"I- uh, I wasn't-" he tries to explain himself, but leans back as you come closer, taking a seat on the floor in between his legs, batting your lashes as you look up at him.

"Don't lie to me, Markie, it's okay if you stare. It's okay if I turn you on." You smile sweetly and he gulps.

"N-no, it's not. I can't think about you like this. It's wrong! I can't have these thoughts about you, I've known you when we were kids! This is not what Jesus would want," he rambles.

"Mark. I don't care about what the bible says." You look into his eyes, a flat expression on your face, before you tilt your head to the side. You already love making him nervous, the way his eyes widen and eyebrows rise when you say something sinful.

"W-we have to go now- dinner! Yes, dinner, come on..." He grabs your hand and helps you up before turning around to adjust his pants. You smirk. Maybe not this time, but next time you'll get the sweet church boy to fuck the living shit out of you.

Dinner had been nothing special, apart from you sucking deliciously on your popsicle, shoving it down your throat while keeping steady eye contact with Mark who almost chokes on his own saliva.

Afterwards, you meet everyone for a camp fire.

The fire is already set up as you arrive, waiting for the rest of the children to gather at the location. The first thing you do is light a cigarette, the first one for the day since you didn't have time before, the whole trip occupying you completely.

Mark realizes what you're doing, still he hushes, "yo, dude, what are you doing?"

"I'm obviously smoking."

"You can't do this here, what if the kids see?!" He looks around, panic in his eyes, before he grabs your arm, pulling you after him. You squeal at this, surprised by his actions as he hides you behind one of the many small houses of the area.

"What the hell?!" You snap, almost having burned yourself in the process of being dragged away.

"If you have to do it, at least don't make it so obvious for everyone to see. You're a role model after all..." Mark mumbles, looking around if anyone's seen your slip-up. He huffs out the breath he's been holding after confirming that no one caught on.

Whilst all of this, you just lean against the wall, inhaling the smoke and puffing it out with a cocky smile, scanning the panicking Mark in front of you. He's so cute when his eyebrows are scrunched together like this...

"We got lucky this time." He turns to you, taking in your figure leaned against the wall. You're still wearing the reveling shirt – and no bra – and he still hasn't grown accustomed to the sight.

"Markie, you're so stressed about this, why don't you let me help you relax a little?" You raise an eyebrow as you smile.

"What are you suggesting?" Mark's eyes widen as you loop a finger through his belt buckle, pulling him closer. He gulps as his gaze flickers down to your lips wrapping around the cigarette before you blow the smoke into his face.

"Want some?" You grin, offering him the cigarette.

"Isn't that a sin?"

The way he asks you of all people... He looks at the cigarette, then back up at you, debating. You can almost hear the gears clatter in his brain.

"Smoking isn't directly mentioned in the bible, so... I think it will be okay?" He smiles unsurely.

"Do you know how it works?" You pull him a little closer again since he's shied away, and he just shakes his head. "You wrap your lips around it, then you inhale, like this." You demonstrate it to him. "You have to inhale deeply into your lungs, otherwise it has no effect, then you breathe it out through your mouth."

Mark nods, understanding the explanation as you place the cigarette in front of his mouth, giving him the chance to still back out, or to come closer and follow your instructions. He does the ladder, leaning forwards, keeping steady eye contact with you as he takes the filter into his mouth, lips grazing over your fingers that are holding it out to him.

Your breath hitches. It's so sexy, for some reason, how he listens to you, does forbidden things because you tell him to. Also, you can't help but imagine that his lips would look so good wrapped around your clit instead...

Mark inhales, forcing back a cough before breathing out, the smoke blowing into your face. Fuck, you want to kiss him.

"Good boy," you breathe out quietly, but you're sure he hears you as he blushes faintly before taking another hit. You two share the cigarette in silence, gazing into each other's eyes until it's burned down completely.

After you put the cigarette out into your portable ashtray (you might be careless about your health, but not the planet's), you sigh, leaning back against the wall. Suddenly, Mark's hands appear right and left next to your face against the wall, as he tries to keep himself steady. "W-why am I feeling dizzy?"

You giggle. "It's the nicotine, it'll go away in a few seconds. Your body has to get used to it since it was your first time."

Mark nods. "Thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For giving me the chance to do something like this. I liked it. I kind of like to be bad sometimes..." he admits, body having calmed down as he leans back, a hand coming up to scratch on the back of his head nervously. He's adorable, you think, and smile.

"Anytime."

The rest of the night goes by relatively easy. You decide to give Mark a break from your teasing and attempts to make him flustered and just casually sit by the fire with him and talk about nothing. It's when you two get back to your room and Mark decides to hop into the shower real quick. A few minutes later he comes back out.

Your eyes almost jump out of their sockets as you lift your head from your place sitting on Mark's bed. Mark is dressed in nothing but a towel, wet hair tousled as it releases droplets of water onto his shoulders and down his torso.

"Mark, are you trying to tempt me?!"

"I forgot to bring underwear-" he explains awkwardly, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. You almost don't register his words, brain completely occupied with taking in the sight of Mark's strong chest muscles and his abs. Damn, the boy works out. "Could you please hand me a pair? It's in my suitcase..."

"Oh hell no. I will not be supporting you putting on clothes, Mark. Why don't you stay like this, you're pretty."

Mark clears his throat a few times. "Please?"

You roll your eyes before reaching into his suitcase, grabbing ahold of some Spiderman undies as your hand brushes against something papery. Curiosity getting the best of you, you pull that out instead. It's a magazine.

"Mark Lee, why is there a women's dessous magazine in your suitcase?????" You screech franticly, mouth opening into a wide, shocked, but crazy grin, fist repeatedly punching into Mark's mattress in excitement.

Mark whines, grabbing the upper hem of his towel so it won't slip off his naked body as he steps closer to you, trying to snatch the magazine from your hands. "Just- give it back!"

"I can't believe it!" Your eyes are wide with joy, eyebrows almost at your hairline as you try to dodge Mark's attempts of getting the magazine back, falling back into the pillows, Mark's strong frame suddenly above you.

Your laughter calms down, but the grin stays as Mark's face is merely inches away from your own. You can feel his breath on your lips as you gaze up into his eyes. The two of you stay there, with Mark between your legs as you look at each other, eyes flickering down to each other's lips from time to time. Mark's lips look so soft and pouty, you just want to pull him closer and lick over them.

"Mark..." you sigh, and when you lift your hips a bit, you're sure you can feel his hardness against you.

"Hm?" He hums, eyelids heavy as he licks over his lower lip, eyes fixated on your own lips. If you did everything right now, you could maybe get him to fuck you. But is that what you want?

"Did you jerk off to that magazine?" You grin again.

"Yo, stop!" Mark whines, face scrunching up in embarrassment as he finally grabs ahold of the magazine and lifts off of you. Instantly, you sit up too, eyes immediately focusing on the way his towel bulges around his middle.

"So, did you?"

You didn't get an answer to your question, but really, you didn't need one. You can totally imagine what Mark does with that magazine when he's alone. It's kind of cute, actually, but you kind of wonder if masturbating is considered a sin. You decide to ask Mark another time, though.

It's the next morning, the night went by without any incidents because you didn't want to push poor flustered Mark any further. He's suffered enough for one day. That doesn't keep you from planning a whole bunch of evil shenanigans for today, starting early in the morning when you wake him up.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" You grin down at his face. He groans, face scrunching up cutely before he opens his eyes. "I got alcohol, you want some?"

"What?" Mark's eyes widen as he sits up abruptly, almost knocking his forehead against yours in the process.

"You can't expect me to go on a hike with a bunch of kids completely sober."

"You're not gonna drink! That's not okay!" Mark's completely awake now, grabbing the bottle from your hands and hiding it under his blanket. Whatever he thought would happen was probably not that you begin to pout, hands immediately reaching under his blanket to win the bottle back.

"Give that to me, I need it!" You whine, hands wandering around under the blanket, occasionally stroking over Mark's warm body. You can feel him tense up as your hands reach his stomach, touching all over his abs in a poor attempt to find the glass container.

"You don't need it," Mark reasons. His face is flushed pink again, but he doesn't stop the ministrations of your hands. An idea pops up in your head.

"Then give me something better instead." You smirk, hands stilling under the blanket, resting a few inches above his crotch.

"Well, what do you expect me to do?" Mark frowns.

"You know exactly what I want." You grin, teeth catching your lower lip as you move your hand a little lower, hoping he'd get the hint.

"What-" he starts, but soon after he looks down, seeing your hand move towards his dick under the blanket and he gulps. "L-look, we really can't-"

"Why not, Markie, I promise it'll feel good."

"That's not the point!" He groans in frustration because he wants you to continue, so badly, but he can't. It's a sin. "I'll give you something else! Just- don't drink. Please?"

He's almost too cute with his puppy eyes.

"What will you give me?"

"Well, what do you want?"

"Hmm, what do I want..." you pretend to think, exaggerating the action by tapping your finger against your chin repeatedly. "I want you to kiss me."

Mark lets out a shaky breath.

"Or is that a sin?"

"It's- not..."

"Are you sinning when you look at those magazines, Markie?" You tease with a wink and he averts his gaze away from you. "Such a bad boy."

"Don't say that..." He tenses visibly. "Alright, we can kiss. Just let me brush my teeth first."

To your disappointment, you didn't get your kiss because just as Mark exited the bathroom, you heard a knock on the door, calling you for breakfast. Breakfast went by, the porridge not providing enough dirtiness for you to tease Mark about it by eating it sensually, like you did with the popsicle the night prior, plus you were kind of in a bad mood now. Who'd have known those church people would be such insufferable cockblocks?

Even so, after breakfast, you were rushed to grab your things and get going. You were still salty about not being allowed to bring any alcoholic beverages with you on that hike, but you were still hoping to get cock-drunk from Mark, anyway. Honestly, you're not too sure about that anymore, it's like a war between your core and your heart on how to continue things with Mark. You must admit, you kind of like the guy. He's cool to be around, funny and adorably awkward. Still, you like the expression 'cock-drunk' and grin to yourself as it pops up in your mind, mentally noting for you to remember it because it will surely gain you a laughter or two in your friend group.

"How long is this gonna take? I'm tired," you whine dramatically, your feet hurting because no one's told you to pack proper footwear. Mark walks beside you, grinning at your distress as he watches over the kids walking in front of you. "Another kilometer."

"Break?" Your eyes light up at the mention of you finally being able to rest your feet and maybe hide somewhere to smoke. Mark nods and smiles at you. God, he's so cute with his curved eyebrows and his little nose. You swear you will raise actual hell if you don't get a piece of him any time soon.

Finally, you arrive at a small cabin, and once you stored the teens inside with the tour guide explaining something about God – or anything, really. Who knows? Certainly not you – you find a comfortable enough looking rock behind a bunch of trees and decide to place your butt on the ground in front of it, leaning your back against the stoney surface.

Mark is quick to follow you there, sitting exceptionally close to you. You squint at him, his behavior suspiciously different, but he just takes a bite of his apple, looking at the beautiful creations of mother nature. He's so sexy when he does stuff.

"Why are you looking at me?" Mark suddenly asks, raising an eyebrow as he gazes over at you, eyeing you from the corner of his eye. For a second there, you're at a loss of words. It feels like someone had kidnapped good ol' awkward Mark and replaced him for a more confident version of Mark.

"You're hot." Phew. Saved. "And you still owe me a kiss."

Mark eyes widen comically and he chokes on a piece of apple, you assume, coughing frantically as you watch the tears gather in his eyes. You're glad that weird Mark is back, you kind of like him better. Once he's finally calmed down, he takes a deep breath, lifts his butt up from the mossy ground to get onto his knees. He shuffles over until he hoists a leg over your lap to take a seat.

"Aww, baby. Someone's eager to get his pretty lips wet, aren't we?"

Mark clears his throat, but nods. It's all you need to lean in closer, feeling his shaky breath ghost over your skin. Your gaze switches between looking at his eyes and and his lips, licking over your own at the thought of having them against your mouth.

"You have such pretty lips, Markie," you coo and Mark's response almost sounds like a quiet whine. He catches himself though, more or less, and responds with a whispered "Thank you".

At the undeniable closeness, you can feel your heart flutter and your stomach tickle with butterflies, but you choose to ignore that weird feeling of excitement and decide to only acknowledge the excitement happening in your pants.

Finally, you close the gap between you, feeling the softness of Mark's lips against yours as you kiss him. It's like a firework exploding in your body – though you, again, only admit to the thrilling bolt of want striking in between your legs – and your hands instantly fly to roam over his body.

Mark nothing but moans into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut before your own follow his action, his hands come up to cup your jaw gently as he pulls himself closer to you.

Experimentally, you lick against his lower lip and he almost instantly opens up for you to slide your wet muscle into the hot cavern of his mouth, tongue dancing and playing with his own. There must be a karmic imbalance somewhere in the universe, you think, because right now Mark is kissing you, finally, after all these hours of exhausting teasing.

You almost lose yourself in the kiss, nails scratching over the jean fabric covering his things as you try to pull him closer to you. Mark hums against your lips, tasting as sweet and sour as the apple he just ate.

The sudden raucous sound coming from Mark's pocket makes him jump, hands leaving yours to clutch at this chest dramatically as he shimmies off your lap to the take call.

Great. Cockblocked again.

To say you're moody on the whole way back would be an immense understatement. It's not that you believe in religion or fate, or anything for that matter, but you can't help but to feel like the universe is against Mark and you happening.

Mark quickly catches on to your distress and tries cheering you up with beatboxing and rapping a few lines from one of his biblical rap tracks on Soundcloud, but it actually just makes it worse.

Once you arrive back at the camp, you head off into the nearby woods, sitting down against a large tree in silence. You even decided against the idea of bringing your bottle of vodka with you, just because you didn't feel like it.

Slowly, you're kind of scared of the kind of person you're becoming.

When you suddenly hear your name being called out by Mark, you turn around to face him. He's taking big steps over the leaves and branches on the ground, but still manages to catch his foot on one big rock and stumbles.

"Why are you out here all alone?" Mark finally arrives by your side, plopping down next to you, wincing as he manages to poke another rock right into his ass cheek in the process.

You just shrug, dragging on your cigarette as you stare into the deepness of the trees.

"Come on," Mark whines, grabbing your shoulder to shake you slightly.

"Don't you see it?" You mumble, fiddling with the bud of your cigarette.

"That we never seem to get some time alone?" You turn to Mark quickly, eyes widened. You're surprised that he could see through you so easily, that he even noticed what you had been planning.

"Maybe it's a sign," Mark muses, gaze catching yours briefly, "I don't know for what, though."

"You mean, I should just give up?"

"No!" Mark's voice echoes through the woods, "I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's a sign to, " – Mark clears his throat – "to try harder..."

A smirk forms on your face and you watch Mark as his eyes take in the way his hands fiddle with each other in his lap.

"Markie," you sigh, putting your head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth that his body radiates, "I want you so much, but – and this is actually scary to me – I don't want to corrupt you anymore. I want you to want me too, so much that you're willing to let God out of your life for just one night."

You turn to look at him. "And I'm willing to wait."

There's silence for a while, Mark stares into his lap, watching his fingers play with each other before he sighs, turning his head to look at you as well. "Maybe I don't want you to wait."

"Wh-", you start, but don't even get to finish the word before Mark leans in to connect your lips once again. The kiss feels different than the last one, much less needy and wild, but rather gentle and intimate. His lips move slowly against your own, there isn't even tongue involved, just softness and genuine feelings.

You're slowly admitting to yourself that you might really have feelings for Mark, and of course, why shouldn't you? Mark is an amazing guy, lovely and sweet, polite and helpful, awkward and funny. He's fun to be around, he's honestly everything your parents ever wanted for you, but can you bring yourself to overcome your pride and bring him home?

Mark parts from you, his breath gently fanning over your wetted bottom lip as he pulls back, eyes not leaving your mouth until he's leaned against the wood again. His eyes are hooded, but not from lust, but rather from- yeah, from what exactly? Does Mark even have feelings for you? Or are you just exciting to him because you're so foul.

A silence that is not particularly comfortable nor uncomfortable surrounds you for a moment, but then Mark begins to speak, "look," he turns towards you, the tiny stones on the ground probably scratching over his ass in the process, and you wince at the thought, but he doesn't seem to care.

"You're exciting to me, everything about you is so new and... kind of alien, that it intrigues me... but at the same time, you make me question stuff. Like, you've done all this stuff that I never could because of- you know," he halts, and you lean further into him until you can press your face into the crook of his neck, deeply inhaling his heavenly scent.

"I think we-" he clears his throat, "we kind of balance each other out, and I think that's a good thing."

"Even though I push you to do bad things?"

"That's life," Mark simply answers, smiling as he lifts your chin to press his forehead against yours, "I love how we connect."

"I love y-", you catch yourself before you say something you might regret, "that too about us."

Mark smiles even wider, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips.

Both you and Mark spend more time together in the woods, relishing in the feeling of one another being so close, giving you time to talk freely, without any worries in the world. You don't really remember who initiated your next move, but somehow the both of you ended up heavily making out against the stone wall of the small church on the grounds of the camp. It had gotten dark outside, so you were sure no one would come around and be able to find you, and this apparently put Mark at ease, so much that he's thrown all of his worries and morals out the metaphorical window just to be with you.

Mark's leg finds its way in between yours, hands grabbing onto your waist to push you down against it, his boldness catching you off guard. You moan against his mouth, still holding back to not wake up any teens and scar them for life.

"Mark," you gasp as his lips leave yours to kiss your neck instead.

"Hm?"

"Let's... go inside."

Mark halts.

"Inside?"

"Yeah?"

"In there?"

"Yeah?"

"But-"

"It's just a building, Mark, come on!" You smile, leaning in to nibble on his neck, kissing the soft skin before biting down. In response, Mark groans, nodding his head quickly, stepping away from you so you can lead him inside to sin.

You push the heavy door open to reveal the dimly lit inside of the church, only a few candles illuminating the interior. Pulling Mark with you, you choose one of the many benches that thankfully provides just enough space for you to lay down on it, pulling Mark on top of you.

"We shouldn't-" Mark mumbles, but contrary to his words, his lips find yours once again, smashing down on them repeatedly as he touches all over your body. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling of getting to have Mark. Though you don't feel like you've won at corrupting him, you feel like you're at eye-level, making these decisions together since Mark had pretty much admitted to you that he loved the things you're doing to him.

Suddenly, Mark parts from you, "I don't know if I can."

"Okay, okay," you sit up, thinking for a second before a small light bulb lights up over your head, "how about a blowjob, then?"

"A b- how would that be any better?" Mark chuckles, a hand scratching the back of his head just like many times before, a gentle blush on his cheeks giving away that he's interested in your offer.

"You're not doing anything, it's all me," you suggest, then fall onto the ground with your knees, shuffling over to sit between Mark's spread legs once again. Mark looks around, unsureness in his eyes, but the noticeable tent in his pants gives away how much he wants this.

"Please, Markie," you pout with pleading eyes, hands coming up to stroke over his thighs, "please let me suck your cock."

"Holy s-, do you have to be like this?" Mark whines, throwing his head back as your hands draw closer and closer to where he wants them most.

"Like what?" You grin, lower lip caught in between your teeth as you look up at him mischievously.

"So freaking hot," Mark sighs as your hands reach his bulge palming him throughoutly through his pants. His hips begin bucking into your touch, eyes closing as he relishes in the feeling of your hands on him. Shortly after, you begin opening the button and fly of his jeans, gently tugging on them which causes Mark to lift his hips so you can rid him of his pants.

"Fuck, Markie, look what a big boy you are, " you beam, repeating your actions of palming his bulge, though this time his reaction is certainly more intense with fewer layers of clothing in the way.

Leaning forwards, you press your nose into the warmth of his clothed dick, inhaling deeply. Your eyelids flutter at the musky scent as it hits your olfactory receptors, groaning quietly, then you begin mouthing over his boxers, making sure to lick over his tip in the process. "You smell so fucking good, baby."

Mark's thighs tremble next to your head, and your hands find comfort in stroking over the expanse of his thigh muscles, raking your nails over them to make Mark shiver. The sounds he lets out at your ministrations sound heavenly to you, spurring you on to dig a little deeper.

"Will you let me taste you, pretty boy?" You ask, dragging your nose along the hardness in his boxers one last time before you sit back, gaze catching Mark's lidded from lust eyes.

"Yes," he breathes out, pulling his underwear down his legs quickly, chest heaving with every deep breath he takes to try to calm down his raging nerves. The moment his length springs free, you feel yourself salivate, licking your lips briefly as you take in his memorable size. Without hesitating any longer, you wrap your hand around his shaft, stroking gently to work him up a little more, enjoying the hot heaviness in your palm to the fullest.

Finally, you lean forward, gently pressing your tongue against his tip, and Mark nothing but whimpers, the muscles of his thighs clenching together with his abs that you can slightly make out with the way his shirt has ridden up.

"You taste so good, too," you sigh, flattening your tongue to drag it all over his cock, forcing a moan out of Mark's throat. As you look up at him, he looks so fucking beautiful, so fucked out and destroyed already that you feel like you could cum dry from the sight alone. His eyes are glazed over, eyelids heavy as he watches you lick over him with his mouth agape.

"Has anyone ever given you a blowjob before?" You wonder, leaning down to suck one of his balls into your mouth as your hand keeps rubbing over his shaft with the help of your spit as lubricant.

"N-no."

"Ah, so I'm your first?"

"Yes."

"Then let's make this count." And before Mark can question your statement, you move back up and slide him right between your lips, taking as much as you can of him at once, and Mark moans out so loudly you're sure someone must have heard.

You keep bobbing your head up and down his shaft, making sure your tongue teases him in all the right places, and pushing yourself to take him further and further into your mouth until his tip hits the back of your throat.

Mark stumbles over his words above you, all kinds of syllables falling from his lips in an attempt to comprehend the pleasure he's feeling. You let out a few humming sounds yourself that vibrate against his cock, too emerged in the feeling and just how hot the entire situation is.

Catching your breath, you pull him out of your mouth. Finally, enough drool has gathered all over his length and you wrap your hand around his tip, stroking it by flicking your wrist, thumb playing with his slit. Mark whines out, hands gripping the bench beneath him so tightly his knuckles turn white.

You begin taking him into your mouth once again, keeping eye contact as you swirl your tongue around his tip and taking his balls into your hand to fondle them. Something inside of Mark seems to snap, his hands coming up to hold onto your hair, carefully but desperately pushing you further down onto his cock. Your eyes roll back at his sudden roughness, enjoying the way his tip briefly catches at the back of your throat, then slides further down. Mark moans loudly, never ending sounds of pleasure leaving his pretty lips as he watches you taking him whole, your nose brushing into the cloud of public hair around his dick.

Mark's hips begin moving on their own accord, thrusting his hardness into your esophagus over and over again, not even giving you the opportunity to breathe properly as he chases his high, though you welcome him using your mouth and throat to his heart's desire. Tears gather in your eyes and soon begin running down your cheeks. You rub your thighs together to gain some friction, finally slipping a hand inside your panties.

"C-can I finish on your f-face?" Mark asks shakily, and you groan out in response, doing your best to nod while trying to force down your gag reflex as your fingers rub harsh circles into your clit. Mark thrusts a few more times, then pulls out of your mouth, making you pant before opening your mouth widely.

Mark tucks on his cock thrice, then groans out deeply. Your eyelids flutter shut just as you cum together with him, hole clenching around nothing as Mark paints his cum all over your cheeks, tongue and chin.

You feel a little light headed as you realize what just happened, you're tasting Mark's cum as you lick around your lips, then swallow all of it. Mark sinks down exhaustedly, flinching as you wrap your lips around his tip once last time to clean the cum off of it.

"Thank you," he finally manages to get out.

"Anytime!" You smile, wiping the remaining cum stains off your skin with a tissue you find in your pocket.

Mark takes another half minute to really come back to his senses, then begins speaking once more, "no really, I really appreciate it! Like, it was really good! Felt great! I hope you're okay too, but it seemed like you were enjoying it, so-"

"Mark," you giggle and put a hand on his thigh, "I loved it too. Great cock, by the way!"

"Uh-"

"Markie, I want to be honest with you," you start again, on a more serious note, and Mark nods attentively, "this is new territory for me. I usually just leave after doing something like this, but I kind of really, really want to cuddle... so..."

Not long after, you find yourself laying in Mark's bed, his shirt covering your body as you move closer to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around you. It's silent, all you hear is his heart contently thumping away in his chest as you place your ear on it, along with his gentle breathing. The situation, not weird at all, still feels foreign to you. You've never been a cuddler, but with Mark, you want to stay wrapped up in his arms until the day you die.

"I can't believe we did that," Mark speaks up, causing you to turn your head towards his face.

"Do you regret it?"

A few seconds go by, then Mark answers, "no. I really enjoyed myself. I don't regret it."

"Good," you sigh, fingers dancing around Mark's toned stomach, watching his abs flex as you tickle him slightly.

"What about you, though."

"What about me?"

"Yeah, you didn't even-"

"Oh, yeah, I did."

"Oh," Mark purses his lips as his eyebrows raise, "w- how? When?"

"You're so cute," you giggle, pressing a kiss to his chest.

"But it wasn't... like, it wasn't me who made you- you know?"

"Are you offering to get me off right now?"

An unsure squeaking noise comes from Mark above you, and you sit up with a wide grin. The sight of you causes the corner of Mark's mouth to rise up as well, "I mean if you want to."

"As if I'd say no to that," you wink before laying back down, Mark hovering over you within seconds pressing a few kisses to the skin of your neck before laying down beside you again, running his hand over your body towards your panties.

Just like you did, he touches you over the fabric before really diving in, stroking over your folds and clit with such expertise that you're confused if he's really only done this twice.

You press your hips further into his touch, secretly hooking your hands into the hem of your panties to pull them down yourself.

"Someone's eager," Mark chuckles, allowing you to rid yourself of the flimsy piece of clothing before creating some skin on skin contact with your slit. You hum delightfully at the sensation, spreading your legs further for his ministrations.

His fingers collect the wetness pooling at your entrance, spreading it around your folds gently, then concentrate on rubbing circles into your clit. You moan softly at the feeling, loving the way his fingers feel.

"I kinda- uh..." Mark speaks lowly against the shell of your ear causing goosebumps to form all over your body, "can I eat you out?"

You whine out, nodding your head. "Have you done that before?"

Mark shakes his head, then shuffles down the bed until he's seated in between your thighs. You spread your legs as far as you comfortably can. Mark's eyes are glued to your glistering folds, his eyes sparkling with excitement and lust at what's to come.

"Just do whatever you feel like doing, just try everything out, I'll tell you if something's not good, yeah?" You suggest, the last words almost getting stuck in your throat as Mark dives in, flattening his tongue to lick a fat stripe over your entire core, only to then continue with smaller licks over your clit. You mewl at the feeling, pushing further into his face, and his hands find comfort grabbing onto your thighs to keep them spread open for him.

From time to time, he looks up at you, the look in his hooded eyes sexy and aroused as he blinks slowly, letting his tongue test the waters around your most private parts. Soon, he gets bolder, suckling on your clit, even gently nibbling on it to make you dizzy with excitement, then he licks further down, plunging his tongue into your hole.

You moan out loudly, immediately loving the feeling, but as quickly as it came, it's gone again.

"Was that bad?"

"N-no, no, no! Good, was good, please, do that-" the words tumble out of your mouth until you feel him repeating the action, sinking his tongue into you as far as he can, licking around, thrusting in and out. You sigh, "- again..."

You press your hips into his face, practically riding his tongue at this point. Quickly, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten, heat spreading through your body rapidly, so you sneak a hand down to rub at your clit. The action obviously doesn't go unnoticed by Mark who reacts immediately by swatting your hand away and replacing it with his own.

"Fuck," you whimper, struggling to keep your eyes open at this point as Mark presses into your clit, massaging it throughoutly, " don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't- stop..." Your orgasm comes crashing down on you quicker than you thought at the sight of Mark grinding his hips into the mattress and groaning into your folds. You swear you see stars as you clench down on Mark's tongue who licks you lovingly through your high.

All you want to do is pull Mark up, kiss him, and tell him you're in love with him.

"That was great, but I should stop talking before I say something I'll regret," you inform Mark breathlessly who strokes over your thighs a few times before sitting up and plopping down next to you.

"Well, what if I have the same thing in mind?"

"Then it's still too early to say that," you decide, then gesture towards his dick "do you need help with that?"

"No, thank you." He grins, then begins cringing at the sticky feeling inside his pants. Silently, you smile at him, the fond look on your face probably speaking paragraphs about what's going on inside your mind, but you don't mind.

You want him to know, want to reveal how much you like him.

© 2022 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.

[exodusin]

Hello! Could you please do a Michael x reader angst to fluff? Maybe where the reader is insecure about themselves and Michael comforts them or smth? P.S keep up the amazing work!! :)

(*ノз`*) BROKEN MIRRORS | M.AFTON.

Thank you for the compliment :D also sorry if this took long :(

art creds @/imsanlee on tiktok

#summary; you don't see the way Michael sees you. It's a masterpiece but his dad’s rude comments, made you think differently.

#note; none of the aftons are dead, no scooping, no bite of 83, no spring lock, this will take place in the early 90s.

#contains; William being a dick, self-esteem issues, negative talk, past parent issues.

#word count; 1648

#fnaf masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Michael proposed to you two weeks ago- you couldn't be any happier and eagerly said: "Yes, I want to marry you!". You were aware of Michael's father being inimical about your guys' relationship. But did that ever stop you from being with Mike?

Nope, but your emotions are saying otherwise.

The Aftons weren't aware of your marriage, so Michael most likely gave them some sort of news that they'll invite them for a dinner night at your guys' house for the news he was going to tell them.

Elizabeth was really happy knowing his older brother was going to devote himself to you, The red-haired girl loved you like family, "She's going to wear a really beautiful dress, I have to be the flower girl!"

Evan was a really shy kid but did have a soft reaction, "I'm happy for you both but Michael can be mean sometimes, just saying." which he earned a flick on the forehead by your fiance.

Mrs. Afton was super excited about knowing this surprise, heck she was supportive ever since Michael confessed you were his girlfriend, "I remember you two being young idiots in love and now adults truly embracing it. I'm so proud of you both!"

Although, William...

He is a brutally honest man and could care less what people think, not only did he make rude comments about you but when Michael was a teen and started dating you, William would say to Michael that he deserves someone better, saw you as a bad influence to his oldest son and youngest children, and...he wasn't surprised Michael chose you as a spouse because he was his least favorite son.

But the comments towards you did hurt you. The feeling of years ago when you lived with your toxic parents was now rising from the following comments—

"Just like any other tramp out there."

"Ever thought you were picked out of pity?"

"Are you're parents even attending to your important day?" That comment stung you.

You're parents. You haven't seen nor talked to them ever since you graduated high school. Always making you feel like the donkey carrying all the problems.

Blaming you for everything, nagging about your bad grades, the friends you've made, your personality, and your image.

But Michael was the only person to ever make your day the brightest, always making sure you were okay, reminding or making sure you were eating well and getting perfect sleep.

Yeah, he was the biggest bully in school but when it came to you, he's an absolute charm.

Always putting you first.

So why did you care so much about what William thinks? It's because he was right. That's what you thought, you were asked out as a joke many times when you were young, you'd be compared to other people from your parents and they wouldn't bother showing up to something you're deeply excited about.

But now you're starting to have second thoughts.

Why would Michael pick you out of all people?

present

You got out a cold shower, moisturized your body with lotion, and washed your face. You put on your underwear and an oversized (favorite color) shirt than a fluffy robe.

'One last check on the mirror...'

It became a habit nowadays, checking the mirror constantly before Michael came back home from work.

"Am I too annoying?"

"Do I talk too much?"

"Am I boring?"

"Does my face look creepy?"

"Am I really like any other?"

"Is my body not ideal?"

The questions running around your head you were paused when you heard that British voice yelled out your name.

"Have you fallen asleep yet? Don't sleep if you haven't eaten."

You made sure your robe was correctly adjusted and put on the usual happy mask to not worry Michael about your personal problems.

"Uhhh...no I'm still awake!" you shouted so he can hear you from downstairs. You heard footsteps get louder and louder meaning he was going to come into the room.

His blue eyes searched for you and there you were sitting on the bed, perhaps waiting for him. Once his eyes landed on you, he felt his eyes melt with adoration.

"Damn it I miss you..." he whispered then smashed his lips to yours, you kissed him back immediately hoping he wouldn't notice your slightly gloomy behavior.

"Did you just take a shower?"

You scoffed, "My hair is wetter than the ocean, what do you think? I just soaked it in a sewage pipe?" you say in a sarcastic playful manner.

He chuckled and pecked your check, "Heh, yea you took a nice shower, you smell nice, as always of course."

He parted away from you and rubbed your soaked hair, "Let me help you dry it and brush it, love." you felt butterflies in your stomach flutter at the nickname.

"Okay just don't brush it too hard..."

—

Your (hair texture) hair was now soft and dry thanks to your fiance.

"Thank you, Mikey."

The brunette smiled, "It's no problem."

You felt strong arms wrap around you and made you turn to face his beautiful pale face, his blue eyes gazing at yours with adoration, and that styled mullet brown hair that was messy.

'Fuck...'

Michael began rubbing your sides lovingly, then stuffing his face onto your fluffy robe which had your scent and warmth that hypnotizes him.

You felt your cheeks warmth at the feeling, for a return of affection you ran your fingers through his messy mullet which made him groan.

Michael's reaction to this was a muffled groan and glided his face down, his hands reached to grab your robe and move it out of the way to get better access to your thighs.

Just as he was about to treat them, a soft hand was placed on his shoulder which halted him. "Is there something wrong, Y/N?"

You faced the other direction to avoid his gaze which made him knit his brows together in confusion, "I-...I don't really feel like-"

"I understand." Those two words ease you but you still felt...gloomy.

"But don't think I didn't notice your behavior these days. Is something bothering you? Is it something I did?" he asked with concern.

You tried to hold back the tears but gulped and said a simple "no."

He tilted his head still looking at you waiting for a better answer, "Did someone say do something to you?"

'Say...'

"Sort of..." you mumbled with hesitation.

"Who? I'll beat the bastard or bitch."

You breathed in and asked, "Michael, can I ask you something?"

He already paid full attention to you "Yes, anything." and waited patiently for your question, your breath became a bit shaky, "Are...Are you sure you want to marry me?"

His pupils shrunk a bit and his brows furrowed, do you no longer want him? He tried to remain calm and respond to your question with composure, "What kind of question is that? I want to marry you. You're the one for me. Why? Do you...not love me?" the last part sounded like hesitation but you responded quickly-

"It's not that. I love you so much fucking much but...what do you see in me?" you asked, his face now becoming soft and sympathetic.

"Love, what made you think that. You're my everything, fuck if you told me to kill thousands of people I'll do it in a heartbeat." the comment seemed laughable but you still felt gloomy, "It's just that...your father doesn't seem to like me much and he's a brutally honest man...am I like any other...is my parents not even going to attend to my wedding day?"

Michael's Adam's apple bobbed in anger, not at you, but his beloved partner being depressed over the bastard of his father. Messing him was one thing, but messing with you is enough to impel him to break his father's teeth.

Instead of Michael responding verbally, he held you as if there is no tomorrow. He kissed your hair and all over your face, plummeting sweet things "No, don't think that way..." "I will never regret proposing to you or meeting you. Your beautiful, your mine. Y/N please. Don't think you're less because of a stupid 'opinion' my bastard of a father says..."

You tried to contain in the hiccups escaping your lips from the soft crying, "He's right though. My parents won't even attend my wedding they always thought less of me and spoke to me as if I was a piece of horse shit."

Michael sighed and yanked you closer to him and began smooching all over your face, "Please...don't say that...don't do it for me...do it for yourself..." he whispers sweetly.

"You don't understand how I see you. No one can see you the way I do," he says as he gently pulls down the sleeve of your shirt to get better access to your shoulder. "Your parents will make the biggest of their lives by not attending to it, your amazing." he then began kissing your shoulder.

You squeaked at the suddenness,

"You're beautiful."

"I love you."

"I'll do anything for you."

He then began nuzzling your neck, "You're mine. Your parents are the real shitfaces here, not you. Meeting you was the greatest thing that happened to me ever in my life. Our bond is unbreakable, no one can break it."

You began to sob and held him closer to you,

"...T-Thank y-you, Michael."

"No, it's the truth. You're the best thing I never knew I needed..."

[cherrykindness]

let's make babies |

pairing: Harry Styles x Actress!Reader

summary: you and harry are doing a live on instagram, you've drunk a lot of wine and now the world knows that the future Mrs. Styles is ready to make babies.

warnings: mostly cute, but the title tells you what you need to know 🤪

"What is your favorite song from the Fine Line album?" Y/N read aloud, twirling in her right hand the second glass of wine of the evening, the one already halfway through. "Adore You and Watermelon Sugar, of course."

Harry giggled, rolling his eyes upon hearing his fiancée's statement.

"Y/N will always choose Adore You because it was obviously written for her." He accused. "She wouldn't give that answer under different circumstances."

The comments climbed up the screen continuously, most fans gushing about how cute Harry Styles and YN/LN could be while the other part was concerned with wringing even more information out of the slightly inebriated couple who had decided to do a surprise live one early Sunday morning.

As expected after being away for some time to begin filming Don't Worry, Darling in Southern California, Harry enjoyed a lazy weekend in the house he shared with his fiancée and her pets. The days were filled with late naps and relentless Netflix marathons, sublime and ethereal evenings, marked mostly by unexpected declarations and rounds of sex that used to last until the beams of light were shyly coming through the linen curtains. They were not a monotonous couple, so this order could easily be changed.

"Watermelon Sugar is nothing more than about my love for watermelons, don't get too creative." Harry replied to a fan while sporting a corner smile, the message standing out among the rest for its dozens of emojis and large print, questioning the singer about erotic content behind the lyrics of his latest hit. "I really don't know what you guys are talking about."

Y/N laughed, shaking her head before leaning it against her fiancé's chest, propped up on the soft white pillows that were spread practically all over the bed. The air conditioner was on at a minimal temperature and a light rain whipped on the panes of glass camouflaged by the cream-colored curtain, that being the projection of Y/N's favorite nights.

"You can tell them, I'm not shy." She joked, nudging her fiancé's waist.

"You know what it was written about and who it was written for." Harry replied, raising one of his eyebrows. "That's what matters."

It went without saying that much of Harry's newest album, as well as some of his earlier work, had been done in exclusive dedication to his future wife. Y/N had been the muse for a vast repertoire of romantic songs, and even though the singer preferred to keep the story behind his more explicit compositions a "secret", the relationship the two had shared for more than three years was already solid and known enough for the media and fans to distinguish hidden messages in small details.

"It's a song about what usually comes before the act of making babies." Y/N laughed as he pointed at the display. "Honestly, you guys are impossible."

"No, we make babies every day." Harry joked, making a funny motion with his eyebrows. "I would spend my entire career writing just about that."

"Harry!" The actress exclaimed incredulously, slapping her fiancé weakly on the chest. "Children might be watching this."

"You don't want to have babies with me?" He asked falsely offended, accepting the cup that Y/N offered him. "Because I want some babies with you."

Y/N laughed, rolling her eyes as she watched the internet freak out at the dialogue that had suddenly emerged. Since the beginning of the quarantine, it was kind of inevitable that the couple of artists would not become the darlings of all social media; they were fervently active with photos, videos, and lives that depicted step by step daily life in isolation, gaining more and more followers and making the media more and more fascinated by the relationship they both shared.

The wedding was scheduled for the summer of next year and it was perhaps the most anticipated event in the tabloids. Bets about what the model of Y/N's dress would be and lists presuming who would be selected for the short list of guests stood out among countless news stories about the famous people influencing pop culture today.

The possible arrival of a Styles baby was an inevitable topic in interviews. Harry and Niall were the only members of the ex-boyband that had not become fathers yet, and because they had maintained a solid relationship and were seen as one of the most enviable couples during the last four years, Y/N and Harry had gotten used to all this openly asked questions. They didn't mind, they even had fun with the montages and all the anxiety that dominated the whole internet, often mentioning the fandoms' efforts to represent them as such "cool" parents in perfectly edited pictures.

"No, guys, I'm not pregnant." Y/N amusingly clarified the doubt of dozens of new comments. "Please don't believe so many controversial news stories that appear out there. I was on twitter last week and saw several people theorizing about a possible pregnancy, most of the arguments based on a website that used photos from the set of How to Get Away with Murder in the season where I was actually playing a pregnant woman as Laurel." She laughed. "It's so funny! I know you guys love to guess these things, but we won't hide something so special when it actually happen, I promise."

"Especially because Y/N can hide absolutely nothing from anyone." Harry accused, leaving his drink on the corner table before settling into a comfortable position for the two of them. "Anyone who's a Marvel fan knows that. That's one of her most characteristic quirks."

"They gave me a fake script for the last two movies." Y/N agreed, shaking his head. "For me and Tom."

"We agreed to keep the engagement a secret for a while. The plan was to travel to Holmes Chapel to break the news to my family in person, but guess who got a call at ten o'clock at night from an angry Anne because she learned of her son's engagement from an interview Y/N gave the next day?"

Y/N gave a guilty smile, winking gracefully at the camera. "It was all James' fault! I'm sure he already suspected something, those questions were very suspicious."

"Of course the questions were suspicious, babe. You literally said you had a secret that involved both of us but that you couldn't tell because it was important that our families knew first."

"I thought he would think about a pregnancy or something!" The actress defended herself, feeling very convincing in her intonation bordering on obviousness. "That's a mania I can't get rid of, it's in my genes."

"Did you all hear that? Further proof that you guys don't have to worry about guessing when Y/N's pregnancy will be, I'm sure our baby will make sure to tell you everything while still in the womb, mom's genes will make sure of that."

"You are so funny, Harry Styles." Y/N sarcastically stated, holding back a giggle as countless messages with laughing emojis were frantically up. "Yeah, I know I talk a lot and all, but you have annoying quirks too."

It was obvious that live would be news the next day. Although they were completely open about matters concerning their relationship, nothing seemed better than receiving so much exclusive information from a Harry and S/N drunk on expensive wine.

"You wake up in a bad mood and you're dangerously sexy, that should be illegal."

Harry laughed, holding his fiancée's waist a little tighter as he felt her tumble a little further to the side, getting closer and closer to the edge of the bed. Y/N was dangerously weak for drinks, and the singer knew that the actress' body was already near its limit.

"You're the only sexy person here, love." He declared with a corner smile, evidently finding the whole situation funny. "Do you want to go to sleep now?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Can we watch some movie? Can we watch Sweet Home?"

"Of course, love." He murmured, giving the woman a quick kiss on the forehead.

Even though Harry knew that his fiancée was unlikely to make it past the five-minute mark of the episode, he made sure to restart the korean series at exactly the scene where she had stopped, the first chapter still halfway through after Y/N realized that it would be impossible to watch such a macabre work without a drop of alcohol in her blood.

She had been so excited by the taste of Argentinian wine and the idea of updating her fans after a few weeks away, that she had forgotten the main purpose of the live. Harry and Y/N had been apart for a few days due to the new movie the Brit was shooting in North America, all happening in an unrestrictedly careful manner due to the restrictions caused by the pandemic.

He was slowly migrating towards acting and the future Mrs. Styles couldn't be prouder. Y/N had felt on cloud nine when Harry had given her the news of his upcoming job, but her only pronouncement on the subject had been a succinct post on instagram. Just a photo of the couple on a trip to Germany with a simple heart emoji didn't seem enough for the actress' exhibitionist soul, and coming to that conclusion was the main reason she decided to invite him, already relatively changed, for a live appearance. Y/N wanted to go on and on about how much she loved that man and work on that whole honeyed speech that would bring her (once again) the title of "cutest bride of all time," but of course Harry had to come home from his trip with his favorite red wine and poison her with those sweet caresses that took her out of orbit, turning the degree of alcohol content into the least of her problems.

"You're going to kiss Florence." Y/N exclaimed suddenly, as if only now realizing that her fiancé would share the screen with Florence Pugh, one of her closest friends in that industry. "Kiss on the mouth."

The MacBook was still open and hundreds of new comments were going up every second, but Harry didn't bother one bit to warn her about the possibility of her becoming a meme the next day. He was having too much fun with the situation to worry.

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She stated with a pout. "I am jealous, I just don't know if I'm more jealous of her or of you."

"But you kiss me every day, babe." Harry laughed. "And you've been kissing other people's men for almost ten years." He joked.

"But I only think about you, I already told you that."

Harry shook his head negatively at the camera, knowing he was sharing with the fans the funniest side of his fiancée.

"I know that, honey." He assured, lightly stroking the actress' back. "I think we'd better turn off the TV and go to sleep now, I'm sure you'll have a terrible headache tomorrow."

The brit planned to bid his audience goodbye and put an end to that recording, but Y/N was drunk and her sense of right and wrong had already gone to space. Harry should have been quicker, however, because his fiancée's speech would be cause for new tags and the only subject for the interviewers for at least the next few months.

"I don't want to sleep, how about we make babies?"

That's what Watermelon Sugar was all about, after all.

[wasabito]

➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

[everythingthemoontouches]

💙Hi there! , First of all i want to tell you that i love your blog! And i love how your posts are so accurate!💙 If its okay with you could you please do me a favor by describing how others see me,my appearance or more specifically the vibe I radiate to others! It would mean alot to me if you you do that💙I'm a cancer sun,leo rising,Lilith sextile asc, Pluto trine asc, Uranus opposition asc, Moon opposition asc, mars sextile venus, mars opposition neptune, asteroid lilith conjunct mc and jupiter in the 1st house!💙

Hola!

Thank you that's really kind of you 💛💕

You know that quote that says Cinderella never asked for a prince. All she wanted was a night out and a dress. You kind of exude a similar vibe but with respect to leadership positions. 'I never asked to be Queen/King, but the people have spoken' kind of an energy. You would be equally happy to be by yourself, learning about the subconscious mind, higher realms and other esoteric science.

For more on Jupiter in LEO I'd recommend watching Astrofinesse.

For jupiter in the first there's KRS.

��As a Leo rising you come across as someone outgoing, with a playful energy but you're also somehow someone people would expect to see in a position of authority. You're drawn to people who stimulate you intellectually and love to exchange ideas.

😬If you have an Aquarius saturn you could be having some challenges in your relationships since December 2020 as saturn transits your 7th house. I'd suggest practicing discernment in this area as well as signing contracts with people until it passes( early 2023) ..

😇12th house sun could take on other people's energy. I feel like you need some time away, by yourself, preferably at the beach / pool/ shower to declutter, clear your head and replenish your sense of Self. You could be highly intuitive. If this resonates, I'd urge you to look up empath drain and how to protect yourself from energy vampires.

Ruler of the ascendant in the 12th :

spirituality could be a huge part of your life. For some people this could show a father (figure) who was convicted or worked in a prison / asylum. They could also have a really remote job. Since the sun is also your own personal identity, you could profit off these themes. Working in a mental health facility, overseas, in esoteric crafts.

🌛With your moon in the 7th house, you probably attract a lot of older women, (queen of swords) nurturing energies . Your mom could have a major influence on any business partnerships that you enter.

In relationships you could have a here today gone tomorrow kind of a presence. This is because as the moon waxes and wanes so does your attraction / attachment to specific people?

♒Aquarius moon : it could be really hard for you to express your feelings. So Instead of asking for a hug there could be a tendency to say something like ' ew imagine asking for one?' you leave a place better than you found it. If you watch hindi movies, 3 Idiots could be a movie you really resonate with. ( I pretty much spent the day looking up the lead actor, who has major aquarius placements and his films have always been disruptive with a really nice social message that left people talking for years after they were released. I tell you this because he shares 2 of your big 3 - aquarius and cancer.)

Going off on this tangent you could be a well respected teacher / writer / entertainer. Jupiter in LEO could help with this.

I do feel like you need a certain amount of inventiveness in your relationships. The people you're with are people who introduce you to new hobbies / ideas / technologies. You need to feel like you guys learn something new or create something that matters together. This is enhanced by uranus in the 7th house. You could come across really cold because you always give people the naked honest truth when asked. You do this from a place of love. I'm reminded of the Queen of Swords card in the rider Waite tarot. Not everyone has the maturity to take it. Or maybe they've just had a bad day. It is what it is. Perhaps try to not be so incisive if this is something you struggle with.

In the same vein, if I asked you to write down how you were feeling how long would it take for you to identify the right emotion. How honest are you with yourself?

Moon and Uranus being in the same house could show that stagnation could really hurt your mental health / happiness / satisfaction levels.

With a saturn ruled moon I feel like I need to remind you to not be so hard on yourself. Like. The world won't crumble to dust if you allow yourself to take care of you once in a while.there's only so much you can do.

All those coffee mugs will catch up. There's no such thing as extra hours in the day. A lack of sleep manifests as early signs of aging. No hate for the elderly but arthritis is not a fun ailment to have. Do you wanna be 60 with 80 year old nervous system problems? I rest my case.

Uranus and moon aspect your ascendant so you could have a slightly plump look?

Jupiter in the first house people usually have prominent thighs. I had a friend with this placement and when we were growing up she used to complain of chafed thighs a lot?

Mars sextile venus you could be your own type? The way you act and the way you want your future partners to express love could be quite similar which is good for healthy relationships.

There could be a tendency to spend impulsively.

With Mars sextiling venus you could be someone who earns more the more active their lifestyle is? Like, you may need to be an agile learner to keep money flowing in .

Jupiter in LEO in a woman's chart usually shows they'd have a financially well off spouse so money may not be a huge concern. He could be a sailor or earn via exports/ navy. It's hard to say without knowing where your Saturn is.

The image you project to the world could be a lot more outgoing than how you actually feel. You're more private than people think.

With a fire rising, water sun and air moon you could either be a really balanced person or just have a number of clashing ideas on who to be, what to do and achieve.

Descendant : The people that hate on you could attack your need to stand out /try to dim your time in the spotlight. Think aquarius themes of standing out to improve community clashing with Leo's need to stand out solely because it helps their ego. Like your confidence could trigger the part if them that felt judged negatively for expressing their individuality.

Do you feel like you thrive in chaos? I'm guessing you're atleast in your late 20s if not older, so you might have gotten better at dealing with people acting unexpectedly. Your mom could have been unpredictable. Really intelligent, but forgets to eat ..

🥤🦀As a cancer sun, you could be the friend your friends come to for advice. There could be a tendency to be a little too selfless. I think your aqua moon really serves as a shield to those who try to take advantage of your caring nature. Have you considered a career in psychic medium ship? Or any spiritual art/ past life regression / you get the drift..

Is there a family craft or hobby that you could monetize? Jupiter in LEO could signify ancestral gains.

Lilith and Pluto aspects to ascendant can make you come across really sexy / a bit unapproachable because people feel like you have some kind of power that places you above them?

Due to this, people with Pluto / Lilith aspects can feel some kind of hurt around people clearing up the path around them if that makes sense.

Jupiter opposite moon : there could be a clash between you want to do VS what you feel you should be doing.

Jupiter in the first house : you could have been born rich? Or people just perceive you that way. They also see you as someone wordly wise and lucky in general. You could know a lot about a wide variety of things. Specially on topics related to appearance, personal development, image consciousness etc. Since the ruler of the first is in the 12th I feel like some of your wisdom comes from a divine source. Like you're tapping into some kind of a collective reservoir of knowledge. In starseed terminology we would refer to this as downloads.

Jupiter rules the 8th house and 5th house.

So love, romance, games, early education may have been a bit of a breeze for you.

Jupiter is usually a bit of a celibate spiritual person. So, while it may make you really wise with respect to things like the occult / tarot / other 8th house themes, I'm not sure how it would impact your sex life with a spouse. Sex could be either a deeply spiritual experience for you or take on more neptunian traits. Addiction / alcoholism / drug use the works. Jupiter expands the themes of the house it rules so a word of caution there.

Travelling could bring you luck. Or even love.

Did I hear Mars opposite Neptune?

This could be a literal battlefield. You could feel like you need to work for love.if Neptune is unconditional love and Mars is your drive, then you could literally match to get to taht elusive unconditional sense of belonging /love / acceptance. But what are you marching towards really? A mirage? With this aspect I'd really be on the guard against addiction of any kind. Neptune is enticing, alluring, mocking Mars for its need to conquer. It could lend a really nice swagger to your walk. A runway model could benefit from thus placement. At uts best this aspect imbues you with creativity, inspiration, otherworldly imagination and the energy required to turn your abstract ideas of art into something tangible.

Here's a source for more on this placement. Sometimes I find that the comments really help me make sense of my own placements

Toodles

Before I sign off, I just have to say this :please try to restrict asks to 2-3 placements. You can send in multiple asks if you'd like, but answering them all in one ask can get a bit cluttered and I'd hate to miss out on something 😊

Hope this helped 💕as always, I'd really appreciate your feedback on this take on how these placements affect you.

[noodlepai]

(OKAY okay so I've come to provide more information on the AU, I'm still working on it a lot so things might change or be added but I got a basic idea of what things are like rn !!)

Info dump moment rn, also TW for slight trauma mentions/hints

• Sam had managed to save the Wii from melting itself all those years ago, and is a pretty big person on tech, so she likes to experiment and try new things, and actively tries to help Eteled out or transfer him through devices so he isn't just stuck in one place all the time, with lots of trial and tons of error, especially since she knows the Wii's getting old and that it can be unstable occasionally with glitches

• Kyle has also taken a liking to learning more about technology through Sam's influence so he sometimes comes over and they both will just study and brainstorm ideas

• Sam moved out of her home and now lives in her own apartment, is in college to pursue her dream of working around and creating technology, hasn't really considered making a job out of it since she mostly does it for fun and likes to achieve her dream goals, Nathan and Kyle also occasionally visit to just hang out and do whatever, usually resulting in the three staying up very late into a movie or game night, and Eteled having to talk Sam into getting sleep for the next morning

• Even though Sam is big on all tech, consoles and video games, she still has a soft spot for old generation consoles in particular

• Sam, Nathan and Kyle had all gotten pretty close growing up so they're like a dumbass trio /lh

• Will moved out of state or some shit

• Kyle wakes up from his villain arc and makes a truce with Eteled /J.. FR though Kyle softens up and becomes more understanding of Eteled's side after they start talking it out, while what happened did bother him at the time all those years ago, he just kinda grew up to the point where it didn't have such of an effect on him anymore, I mean all he saw was a Mii get slice and diced, no need to go beast mode over it, so they forgive each other of the past

• Kyle and Nathan are besties to homosexuals, homie love

• Sam made a Mii of herself from when she was younger to keep Eteled company when going out or having to attend school, Eteled appreciated it but wouldn't wanna admit how it wasn't the same and about how much he would miss Sam when she had to get off the Wii

• Gives Eteled abandonment issues because I love being evil

• He's actually clingy on the inside but would never admit it to anyone

• Also views Sam as a sort of daughter figure besides just a friend but is too nervous to mention it, he wants Sam to be safe, loves whenever she talks or rants to him about anything or shows him something she made or is proud of, or even just anything at all, father Eteled is proud of his child/bestie

• He like, genuinely feels loved around her and would definitely cry about it but would never show it, or at least try not to

• Eteled has the favorite Mii pants because Sam put them on him, with quote "I think it's about time my best friend gets to rock a new style", and yes it did make him almost cry on the spot

• Austin is like, mentally conflicted as hell

• Austin and Eteled both feel guilty for what they've done to each other over the years, aren't sure they can or are ready to forgive the other but they're very slowly learning to tolerate each other

• They're like enemies to kinda friends in a way

• They're traumatized mfs

• They still sometimes fight but it's usually just yelling or saying shit now, they don't do the chair, deletion or axe really anymore since they at least got to the point where they respect each other's boundaries and triggers, and there's no point to keep doing the same old for over 10+ years, for the most part, they still slip up sometimes

• They do fuck up though occasionally so that's why Eteled has scars and Austin is a bit more bashed up

• They still have a rooted dislike for each other they're trying to get over but they sometimes chill out or talk, usually when Sam is asleep or off the Wii for a while, the two just will maybe visit or sit around to at least try to understand the other better

• Sam knows Austin is still around, and it took a while but with time she grew to accept him when he didn't seem like a big threat anymore, and that he was just as important of a soul as Eteled was, she still didn't like the fights and didn't know the full story

• She'd probably section them away from the other with a child gate if she could

• Austin of course has an ego and would never tell another soul that he has many nightmares of the server room and about what happens if he gets caught off guard or is sleeping when Eteled decides to attack him again, Eteled wouldn't do that, and Austin knows it but it's just the deep rooted fear he can't get rid of, even though he's much taller and technically more powerful than the smaller Mii

• Eteled is just tired, usually just sleeps in the Mii channel, especially when under stress or tires himself out if he's going through a moment, like triggered memories or emotions

• From all the deleting and the chair, and more crap from his early life, Eteled is just terrified of it all so even the idea of them scares the fuck out of him, so as a natural response he just tries to defend himself with his axe even if he would be shaking like a chicken, he really tries not to pull it out but he can't always stop himself

• The axe itself would probably also bother Austin a bit, but he would still try to cautiously calm Eteled down since he knows he's just afraid, so afterwards they'd probably have to awkwardly apologize for what the fuck happened at that very moment

• Sam sometimes offers them both to play a game together with her, or plans on playing with Eteled and invites Austin along, as a way to make them bond, they do end up having some fun though

• Eteled has seen and/or been around or within newer Nintendo consoles, but personally prefers being in the Wii since he's used to it the most, and it's the most comfortable and homey to him

• Oh yeah, if Austin or Eteled is having an episode or is deeply upset then the other will try to help sometimes if it's really bad, Austin tries to hide it more but it doesn't always work, yeah they have reasonable reasons to not like the other, but they aren't complete assholes

• They both got trauma memories and aren't gonna just watch the other suffer through it

• Austin may or may not have taken in what Eteled had said all that time ago about "Learning to move past the past", even though that technically makes Eteled a hypocrite when he's constantly beating himself up about shit mentally, even after years, they are both doing it tbh

• Also Kyle doesn't know about Austin 100% but is curious to know his story and who he is and used to be, and how he got in the Wii, especially after the passing of his family member of the same name, little does he know..

• Sam also doesn't know about any of it, neither Sam or Kyle know of what happened or Austin's story, Austin being in a tight spot since he doesn't wanna reveal his identity yet, knowing the possible reaction, for Eteled's sake, Sam's and especially Kyle's, and Eteled being absolutely fucking terrified since the fear of losing someone like Sam could become real, and the small but growing friendship he was slowly making with Kyle could go right back to hatred and wanting the small Mii deleted, not including the fact that he still eats at himself for his past actions so it being brought back up again would be a ✨mess✨

• Austin doesn't know if he forgives Eteled or not, but wants to try to move past it and not be reminded in any way

• Nathan is still a little lowkey scared of Eteled ngl, doesn't wanna upset him or anything and Eteled can tell, he probably sighs to himself but he can't blame the guy

• Kyle has thought about making another Mii of himself on what is now long been Sam's Wii, now that he's older and him and Eteled are rather chill, but decided against it since he wasn't sure, not because he didn't trust Eteled, but because he figured it could potentially remind the Mii of the past, so whenever he plays on it he just uses Eteled

(That's all I can really recall on the top of my head for now, whenever I remember more or add on things I'll probably make a new post about it)

[zofja-qualifiedantholic]

HANA Doll track project archive L 2-15 Pensée translation

The translation is very rough!!! More info here

hope this tl helps!!

Ageha: PLANTs. Toki's medical check results are uploaded to the uterine server.

Doctor: I don't think so(?). It seems that the lessons of the last few days and the medical check of the erasure have not been a problem.

Ageha: He came to the training center, maybe he were a little confused.

Doctor: Is it like this?

Ageha: The training center is a turning point between the past and the present. When I become a professional, I remember everything and my feelings swell(?). There is nothing else(?).

Doctor: I see. How about Rui-san and Ageha-san?

Ageha: I myself have nothing in particular. I will check on Rui after this call if necessary(?). I would like to ask for urgent treatment on an equal level(?).

Doctor: Understood. Turn the car for withdrawal transportation.

Ageha: Thank you.

Toki: Ageha-san, I'm sorry. I-

Ageha: I told you not to worry. Sleep. Today's work is over. You can't force yourself anymore.

Toki: Yes. Um.

Ageha: What?

Toki: Thank you. For following me a while ago(?).

Ageha: Even if it's in front of a student, I can't expose myself to it(?).

Toki: That's right. I'm sorry.

Ageha: Only now being a newcomer can be used as weapon(??). I don't think there is next.

Toki: Yes.

Ageha: Loulou*di's goal is still halfway. There is no time to stumble. What came here is for future Loulou*di. Because there was something I wanted to hear alone with you.

Toki: What is it?

Ageha: I did a little research on you.

Toki: eh

Ageha: I heard you're from an orphanage.

Toki: !

Ageha: Besides you were born with bad legs.

Toki: That is...

Ageha: I'm not attacking. I'm just checking. I am satisfied with how your body is now(???). It's the influence of flower.

Toki: That's right.

Ageha: What triggered the audition? You don't want to say?

Toki: Wrong. That's wrong. But-

Ageha: You're trembling.

Toki: That is-

Ageha: You don't want to say it(?). However, the one from Anthos know your face(?). Kiyose Haruta.

Toki: That guy doesn't matter anymore.

Ageha: But what if he dismisses you(??)? This child will be on Music Awards(?). If there is a chance of envy of Loulou*di's aiming for height, there must be many people who are trying to take their lives(????). And to me Loulou*di's center(?). I have a duty to protect you.

Toki: Ageha-san.

Ageha: Can't you trust me, Toki?

Toki: Such- Ageha-san is an absolute existence for me. I- Certainly I was in the orphanage. But I was picked up early. Because I couldn't walk.

Ageha: yhm

Toki: Because I was a miserable and ugly child who couldn't walk. It was convenient. If they show me off(??), those people could be a wonderful people who had taken over a poor child. But no one told me that.

Ageha: The surroundings whispered to you that being protected was an honorable and wonderful thing(??). But the facts were rather the opposite. Such a place. It's an easy-to-understand story with a headache(??). I made you say something painful.

Toki: No.

Ageha: With that kind of story, you can roughly guess the process that led to the audition. A place where your feet are miraculously healed and in the limelight(?). A good couple will feel good(??).

Toki: But I'm not a pitiful child(??). The flower have bloomed. A splendid flower faster than anyone else.

Ageha: That's right. You are special. The chosen person.

Toki: I'll imitate you(??). To those who made a fool of me. To those who tried to mess up my life. Climb up to the heights and look down at me this time. (????).

Ageha: With you, with Loulou*di you can do it(??). You, can you follow me no matter what?

Toki: Of course.

Ageha: Do you promise(??)?

Toki: I promise(??).

Ageha: Well said(?).

Toki: Ageha-san.

Ageha: Don't worry. The current story will not be leaked to anyone. Of course to Rui too.

Toki: To Rui-san too?

Ageha: I can't tell him what you are up to(???). Even if it is a unit member, it is not well-behaved.

Toki: Well then, Ageha-san and I, it's our secret.

Ageha: That's it. What are you laughing at? Even though you were angry with your face distorted until a while ago.

Toki: Because... I'm happy.

Ageha: I see.

----------------

Ageha: PLANTs, watch here(?). Open it when medical staff come to pick him up. As soon as Toki is transported(??), I will withdraw with Rui.

*PLANTs noises*

Ageha: Toki is similar to me. It's miserable and I'm tired. It's helpful that it's easy to understand. I am grateful while lamenting my misfortune(?). That's true. What the president says is always correct. Rui. Where on earth is that guy?

---------------

Rui: Ageha.

Ageha: I should have told you to stay in the waiting room.

Rui: (?), The weather was nice and I wanted to go out.

Ageha: You're still a man who seems to be a circus alone(?). It comes due to the fact that you were taken out(????).

Rui: I'm sure it's because I'm empty(??). Favor, hostility and malice. Not to mention the courage like you.

Ageha: Are you yourself without courage?

Rui: If I had a fighting spirit like you I wouldn't come to the training school(?).

Ageha: By the way, today's questions were crappy but interesting(?). I didn't know there was someone you could trust.

Rui: There is evidence that doctors are more credible to the general public than I feel.

Ageha: Doctors?

Rui: Once, I guess I wasn't decent(?).

Ageha: It's a classic(?).

Rui: Where's Toki?

Ageha: He laid down(?). The medical care's car will arive so he'll be woken up soon(??????).

Rui: I see.

Ageha: How are you feeling?

Rui: Are you worried?

Ageha: Don't be stupid. It's just for diagnosis. I was asked by the doctor earlier.

Rui: Lightheaded dizziness is common, but not enough to report. How are you doing?

Ageha: I don't have the obligation to answer(?).

Rui: For diagnosis. The doctor tells me to keep him informed about your physical condition.

Ageha: Sneakily(??). That way you are willing to shake your tail to anyone(??).

Rui: I'm worried about you. I want to know any minor anxieties(?).

Ageha: Clear(??).

Rui: Who is my true owner? If I should say it every time, I will.

Ageha: Stop trying(????).

Rui: It was here that I first exchanged words with you.

Ageha: Appreciation didn't shake off(???).

Rui: As soon as you saw my face, I was told to go over there.

Ageha: Because you were sitting here with your own face. This is a special place. You can see the top class lesson room transparently(?).

Rui: Really, so.

Ageha: Chihiro was so talented that he was shining more than anyone else. He was working harder than anyone else. I've been watching for a long time. I've always... wanted to see him(?). Nevertheless. How is this reality? Real jewels are lost in movies from this world(?). The imitation with a look-like face is alive. It's unpleasant. They are insect(????).