#I'm a bad friend
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The anxiety that builds when your friend left you a “seen” without answering ...
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I ruined everything I've interact with. I don't deserve to have friends anymore.
#i think i should leave every social media i have#im so sorry#I'm awful#I'm just a fucking beast who can't hold their emotions#i hope I'll die alone#I'm a bad friend#I'm a bad partner#I'm a bad artist
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I'll never stop loving throwing ice right as the battle ends, then whipping out the camera. He screams in pain and then gets up and gives me a cute pose. What a doll.
#prompto argentum#ice#blizzard#frost#frostbitten prompto#snow#magic#camp#cutie#poor kid#i'm a bad friend
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Can’t wait to be kidnapped the day the FNAF movie comes out and not be allowed to cover my eyes for even a second (but can I at least cover my ears, or get some soft earplugs?)
Can’t wait to be dragged against my will to see a horror movie, and I hate horror movies (I’m so excited, I can’t wait)
heheheheh >:D
prepared to be scareded
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I should be sleeping but I don't want to, its almost 1 am and I promised to a friend yesterday that I'll meet her tomorrow (aka today) but I really don't feel like it
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love it when my friends say "you would do numbers on Tumblr" buddy I am on Tumblr. and the number is 3
#shout out my mutuals who like my textposts even the bad ones#and shoutout my friends for thinking I'm funny. i think
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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."
I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.
#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome#but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE#a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me#and that he really wanted to get to know me#so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him#and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex#total shocked pikachu face#I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again#DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE
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Why is accepting I've been, and kind of am still, a bad friend, so hard. I know it but it hurts, it hurts so much to have hurt, to maybe keep hurting, without meaning to. To hurt because of cowardice and insecurities....
#I'm a bad friend#im REALLY going through it right now and needed to vent somewhere#id love to talk about this in therapy#but it's so expensive#personal#this is all because of a fucking dream i had where i never stopped reaching out to a friend i really really really miss#it fucked me up
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For many of years I had this tradition of drawing Wirt and the beast once a year to see how much I have improved, then depression hit in 2023 and couldn't continue, but it left so really amazing art in the process
#There are 2 missing from 2015 and 2016 but those are between God and me#I lost the scanned version of the last#thats why the picture is taken with my phone#so these are from 2017 to 2022#I'm pretty proud of them#over the garden wall#otgw wirt#otgw#You can tell I was a fan of the Bad Ending AU back then...#a friend of mine once joked that I drew them closer and closer with every passing year#that at some point they would end up kissing#wwww#maybe the next one is a kiss of judas reference#who knows#my art
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I am so lousy at conversation these days
So bad at facial expression that despair and a soft smile feels the same to my muscles
So disconnected and uninterested
Nothing is fun to me
My head keeps yelling about death and about what I'm doing wrong and about how I am no fun to hang out with
You all need some time without me
It's a good thing you have better friends than me
I should stop wasting your time
I'm sorry if I bring down the mood
Do I bring down the mood?
You all say you had fun
I know I'm supposed to have fun
But somehow it just isn't
And I feel so far away
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You gotta hand it to Fig. All of the Bad Kids were given foils this season and they got to decide how much they wanted to engage with that part of the plot. Gorgug only interacted with Mary Ann in passing despite them both being on the Owlbears. Fabian noped out of chatting up Ivy once she crossed a line with Mazey. Riz was so busy that he truly had no time to engage with Kipperlilly even though she's obsessed with him. Kristen interacted a bit with Buddy but spent way more time verbally sparring with Kipperlilly. And Adaine was somewhat interested in Oisin but never overtly acted on it.
But Fig?
She's in Ruben's WALLS. She's in his DREAMS. She's faking her alter emo's death. She's got the Fantasy FBI after her. She's SO SO tiny. No one is doing it like Fig's doing it.
#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#spoilers#dimension 20 spoilers#fantasy high spoilers#i wish we'd gotten more rat grinder stuff in general just to have a better read on them#but ooh man emily axford MVP on this front#fig faeth#the bad kids are valid for prioritizing their friends over the party of haters#but it's still so funny that they en masse were like eh except for Fig who was like I'm gonna haunt this gnome
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I feel gross and bad and I don't want to exist.
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Am I a bad friend if I don't hang out with them today and instead stay in bed, read a book and write my silly scenarios ?
#sorry guys#but I don't have the motivation to dress up#I hope they don't hate me#I'm a bad friend#plus after I complain that no one likes me and I will die alone#if I act like that I will surely end up like that#maybe I deserve to be alone#I treat everyone badly#yeah#vent ??
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Social anxiety level: Chatting with someone experiencing a schizophrenic episode and becoming increasingly self-concious of how I'm just saying "That sounds really stressful", "I've never heard of that but it sounds scary", and "You must be pretty worried about that" over and over again
#They needed someone to wait with them while their friend came to pick them up#And the whole time I was waiting for them to call bullshit#Like YOU HAVENT SAID ANYTHING MEANINGFUL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS#I'm sorry I'm making this one about me ma'am I'm just terrified that everyone I talk to is gonna give be a bad grade#I don't understand or beleive most of what you're saying but from the legit science you're quoting I can tell you've done some research#The research stuff I appreciate we can totally talk about that#Please God let me talk about Chordata or HTML instead of the thing I can't see or hear wouthout encouraging your delusion#I'd get SUCH a good grade at discussing invertebrates with you
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I resurrected my tumblr just to post this
#the bad batch#star wars fanart#the bad batch fanart#star wars the bad batch#star wars#I've got no social to post this#so to tumblr it goes#OK HELLO#IM SORRY FOR LEAVING#ANON WHO SEND ME ASKS IM SORRY#also idk why I'm posting this tbh SW fandom is one of the scariest one outa there#hewwo#accept this#can we be friend
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I've been having a tough time lately, and when I don't have the energy for everything keeping up with social media is one of the first things I slip on. But I still care about all my writing buddies, so:
Reblog if you're not offended when people take a long time to answer asks, forget to reply to your replies, lag behind in tag games, or skip several weekly ask games.
#writeblr is so important to me and I get so scared people will think I'm a bad friend or don't care#but I can barely keep up with my own actual life right now#moshke writes#writeblr#also I'm not judging anyone for not reblogging this I don't believe in reblog bait#but I hope a few people who are up for it do
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