#I'm Just Pretending I Know What I'm Doing At This Point

[genderkoolaid]

No, I think what I said applies to all groups. Making jokes on occasion is one thing. But when you are constantly going "straight people are worthless," it does start to reinforce the unironic belief that some people are, essentially, less human and worthy of any amount of hatred. And not only will that make those people, it will make people who aren't straight/abled/white uncomfortable because they know and care about someone who is, or the attitude is something they disagree with.

I'm not saying Ever Making A Joke At A Powerful Group's expense is bad. There is a difference between an oppressive group joking about those they oppressed to reinforce the status quo, and oppressed people making jokes about them to cope with life and push back.

It's about not pretending it doesn't have a real affect on your beliefs. at some point you DO unironically believe that straight people are worse, which means you believe that someone should have their worth judged by their sexuality. and THAT becomes the kind of person you are. it's not that the impact of oppressors making jokes about the oppression being equal to that of the reverse. there is a reason why making fun of white people is different than white people making fun of people of color; there's a lot of real harm that weighs behind those jokes, and they are a way of reinforcing the oppressive status quo. but ultimately you have to confront whether you want yourself, or your movement, to have certain values. you can't just hide behind "it doesn't matter because it's just jokes" because like. aside from what you see as moral. do you plan on being powerless forever? do you plan on your beliefs never having an impact on the world?

i see "men bad" jokes as very similar to suicide jokes. like making them every once in a while isn't the worst thing, but if you Keep making them constantly. it DOES shape how you start thinking and you WILL become a more unpleasant and bitter person and also make people around you uncomfortable. and sometimes you just gotta choose to not make or engage with certain jokes, even if they are amusing to you, because its just not who you wanna be

[revelboo]

revelboo! No more of this madness, I beg of you there's already 93 parts of "everything is alright" enough of these slutty horny robots😭… I'm just screwing around, you can do whatever you want personally I would like to see the next part of “point of extinction” or “the coma kid” I absolutely adore your work and look forward to it whenever I get the time to, so take as many breaks as you need and keep up the amazing work, our lord and Savior revelboo>:3

I’m dying right now 😂 I’m the only one at work and that’s just to work the phones, that likely aren’t ringing. So I’m going to write until I have to actually work.

The Coma Kid Pt 3

TFO B-127 x Reader

• “Maybe you shouldn’t hold them like that?” The one you’ve dubbed Big Daddy suggests and your captor makes a noise and flips you right side up a bit too quickly. Swallowing convulsively, you almost hope you do hurl all over him. Maybe that will convince him to let you go. Shoving at B-127 when he presses his face against your neck and shoulder, snuggling you like a kid with a new kitten. “I shouldn’t be here. Just let me go and I’ll pretend I didn’t see any aliens,” you say, shivering as his lips brush skin and something pulls at you, a tug in your core that makes your breath catch as a warm and absolutely unwanted feeling of rightness and belonging spill through you. No. Horrified, you struggle harder against his grip. Not happening. You are not feeling drawn to this kidnapping jerk.

• “But we’re sparkmates.” You must be able to feel that same warmth he feels holding you. Looking beseechingly up at Optimus as the bigger bot rubs the side of his helm. “I can feel them. Need them. They’re home and belonging and I won’t need to be alone ever again.” Trying to make Optimus understand that this matters. This is everything and he can’t just let you go. Needs you too much and maybe you don’t want him, that’s okay. He’s used to that. If he just keeps smiling, you’ll come around eventually. Feels you shiver against his servos when his mouth slides against your neck again. “I can’t let them go.” Panic growing at the edge of his processor, he forces a big smile, pretending it’s okay. “We’re going to be so happy together.”

• And he’s walking away with you as Big Daddy just looks on, concerned. Apparently not sure how to deal with this and not going to save you. Hating that the touch of his mouth against your neck sparks through you and he just keeps doing it. Heat spreading through you in little waves that you are not willing to examine too closely. “Look, pal, you don’t love me,” trying to shove his big face away and stiffening as his lips part and his glossa brushes the inside of your wrist, entire body going electric with the contact. With need. Swearing, you yank your hand back and slap him. “Cut it out! We’re not soulmates or whatever. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m going home.”

• “Sparkmates,” he corrects, slightly hurt. You can feel it, his spark thrumming every time you react to him. Because even if you don’t like it, you can feel it. You’ll come around eventually. Love him as much as he already loves you. “This is home. You’ll love it, everyone’s great here,” he says. You’re so soft in his servos, he’ll need to find soft things for his berth for you. Whatever it is humans use for fuel. “Neither of us ever need to be alone again,” he whispers, nuzzling against you as you slap him again and he ignores it. While it doesn’t physically hurt, it makes his spark ache that you’re so unhappy. “You’ll see. This was fated.” Just needs to show you he can be a good mate, attentive and caring. Patient. Servos flexing as the unwanted thought comes that if he gets you with a sparkling, you won’t be able to leave. You’d have to stay.

• Slumping in his grip and shaking out your stinging palm, you admit defeat for now. He can’t babysit you all the time, you just need to find an opportunity and escape. And sparkmates? It’s not like the big, alien lovesick puppy can actually do anything to you. He just wants to cuddle you to death. “Sure. Fine.” And he lights up, those little nubs on his helm lifting some as he grins at you like you just made his day. Eyes narrowing at him, because you resent the fact that he’s kind of cute when he smiles. Trying to remind yourself that he kidnapped you. He’s absolutely not a puppy, so you can’t think of him like that. Can’t start to like him no matter what.

Previous

I need time to get it right

Always trying to decipher what it means

Hours wasted in the land of hopes and dreams

So I won't look back

I won't look down

I'll focus on the planet spinning round and round

Comatose and singing

[hxlxnaaa]

can i pretty please have the extended version of what happens in zaynes exclusive tutorial……. asking for a friend……..

ⁱ ᵃᵐ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠʳⁱᵉⁿᵈ….

𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥

★ synopsis: an extended version of zaynes exclusive tutorial 5-star ;)

★ character: zayne

★ cw: first person pov, quickie SMUT!!!!, a lot of the dialogue is just taken from the card

★ word count: 3.5k

★ a/n: i literally have not wrote smut since i was at least 13...i lowkey blacked out writing this so if it sucks i'm so sorry. it was good practice though so ty for the request!

Internally, I was dreading this. As a Deepspace Hunter, low-key yet high end, relaxed events were not something I was accustomed to. While it was a nice change from the chaotic atmosphere of my own work, I couldn’t help but worry I may embarrass myself.

When Zayne first invited me, I was a bit surprised he’d ask me of all people. I was sure the man was convinced I’d, at some point during the night, make a fool of him and myself. Though I was pleased he thought of me, and honored to be chosen, it put the stakes of the night higher.

I tried to make myself as fancy as possible, without overdoing it, because I was convinced these people would know I was trying too hard. I mean, they were all top med school alumnus who probably made more in a day than I made in a year.

Walking in with Zayne, the club lighting was low with soft jazz playing in the background. I scanned the perimeter, and observed the people around. Nearly everyone had brought a companion, and I smirked to myself. Mentioning I could tell why he brought me along, I gestured for him to lean down to my level.

“Did you feel left out because everyone else brought someone? Is that why?”

Zayne looked back at me, “Yes. It’s why I invited you.”

“Lame… I thought you’d make up an excuse and deny it.

Bantering with him for a second, one of his classmates approached us. The two make small talk with each other, when the man finally introduces himself as Steven to me, reaching out for a handshake. Before I can even respond, Zayne quickly grabs my hand instead.

“Let’s find a place to sit down and talk.”

-

Sitting at the bar with Zayne and his classmates, I get to finally turn off my brain and just listen. All of them go on and boast about him, Steven particularly going on about his pool skills. Zayne sits comfortably with the attention, and it’s safe to assume he’s well accustomed to being the center of it all; though it didn’t last when I quickly caught his eye, as he gave me a helpless look.

“Do you want to go somewhere else?” He whispered to me, an edge to his voice that was practically begging me to get him out and away from these people.

Zayne grabs his drink, assuming I was going to agree, and I stop him. He gives me a confused look as I turn my body to fully face him. Deciding to have some fun, the drinks I’ve had giving me some liquid courage-

“I haven’t seen Dr. Zayne play pool either… Is he really that good?” I smiled at him.

He pauses, lips forming into a tight line, “Ah, so you’re ganging up on me.”

I was pushing the right buttons.

While another classmate comes up to Zayne, doting all over him like the others, as he goes on about “hands on learning” with him.

I smirk inwardly, taking a sip out of my wine glass. Oh yeah, I thought to myself, I’m gonna use that one.

After the man leaves, Zayne playfully pinches my ear, “I could see you eavesdropping from a mile away, did you find anything interesting?”

I looked up at him through my eyelashes, “I heard…” Pretending to think for a second, I looked around the room, then back at him, “you’re incredibly considerate to your juniors and are highly respected by everyone, Dr. Zayne”

He sighs, looking away, clearly unsatisfied with my answer. “I guess you can be nice…” I tapped his shoulder.

Zayne raises an eyebrow, “You guess? Do I not treat you well?”

Shrugging, I shake my head and raise my hands, feigning innocence, “It’s hard to say…” I take another sip out of my glass. “You never did any ‘hands-on’ learning with me.” Sticking out my lower lip in a pout, “And everyone says it’s an honor to be taught by you, sir…”

Putting down my wine glass, I sigh, “I wonder when I’ll get to experience it…”

“It seems you truly do want to learn about surgeries.” Zayne retorts.

“Who says it has to be for work?”

He looks at me, almost startled.

“Follow me.”

-

On the club's second floor, the billiard hall is tucked away, secret, and empty.

Perfect.

Walking forward, I circle around one of the pool tables.

“Why are we playing pool all of a sudden?” Zayne asks from behind me.

I flip my hair and look at him over my shoulder, “Because I wanna learn from you of course. Dr. Steven was praising your pool skills, but you’ve never mentioned them before.” I pushed my back to the table, leaning back on my hands.

Zayne walks up to me, “He was drunk and just rambling.”

“Oh? He said you were really good…” Cocking my head to the side to look at him, he stared back at me with intent, “Like a professional.”

“Maybe because a surgeon has steady hands.”

“Then-” I stood up straight again, crossing my arms and smiling sweetly, “it’d be nice if I could get some tips from you.”

“While I can’t give any tips per se, we can play.” He looks at me and smiles back, “If you want.”

Picking out two cue sticks, handing me the shorter one, he walks to one of the tables in the corner, “Have you played before?”

“Once or twice. People say I have potential,” Zayne raises a brow at my confidence, “but I ‘can play’.”

“Are you gonna be strict with me, sir?” I playfully swing around the cue stick. Zayne crosses his arms, leaning into me, “Strict teachers make outstanding students.” He states, “Let’s start.”

Gesturing for me to go, I lean over the table, feeling his eyes boring into me. I hold my breath as I hit the ball, the only sound in the room the echoes of the balls scattering.

Zayne chuckles under his breath, and I look back at him, “Did I do something wrong, sir?”

“You have more than enough strength. If you adjust your posture, you’ll see better results.”

“I need you to help me identify my weak spots via ‘hands-on learning’, sir.”

I watch as his facade begins to crumble a bit, before he quickly regains himself, “We’ll have to work on your posture then.”

Coming up next to me, I stand up straight as he leans down over the table, “Like this. Place your right foot back…” He strikes, graceful as ever. When I try, I look like a klutz.

Bent over the table, he comes up behind me. “Relax,” He whispers, “you’re too tense.” He places his hand on my back, and almost as a reflex to his touch, my waist immediately bends. “Now you’re too relaxed.” He clicks his tongue as I become jelly under his touch.

“Relax your left arm. Allow it to bend naturally.” His arm snakes up under mine, “Your head, right arm, and the cue stick should form a straight line.”

He places his hand softly on my cheek, shifting my head to the left, “How is it?”

“It,” I winced at the uncomfortable position, “hurts a little.”

I hear him smile, “That means it’s correct.”

Making a face, I try to give him my most pitiful look.

“You’re so harsh, sir.”

He grabs my chin, making me face the table again. The gesture makes me gasp.

“Don’t tilt your head.” Zayne remarks, “You messed up your posture again.”

“Is there an easier way? Like something I can do without much trouble?”

“Yes, but are you sure you want to do it?”

I groan, my body feeling stiff from holding this pose for so long, “Bring it on.”

I feel him shift from beside me, “Don’t move for now.”

Zayne comes up behind me, positioning himself where his chest is flush against my back. Reaching his arms around me, one of his hands comes up to grab mine. Lowering his head, I feel his breath on my neck as his lips settle next to my ear, “Your rhythm with the cue stick…isn’t quite there yet.” My eyelids flutter closed at his voice, “You need more hands-on training.”

He directs me carefully, “You should neither be too fast nor too hesitant.” His words sound distant as all I can focus on is the feeling of his body pressed against mine, as heat spreads in between my thighs.

My hand is enveloped in his, and the back and forth motion of the cue stick slows down, “Move the cue stick three or four times..” He instructs, everything about this feeling overwhelmingly provocative, “Stop at the point closest to the ball…”

“Did you get that?” He whispered, turning his head away from the pool table to face mine.

“Yeah…” Was all I could muster back.

Softly smirking, he turned back to follow my vision, “Keep your eyes on the ball, one…two…three…” I think I may actually combust if he keeps this up.

“Stop, and pull back the cue stick.”

He loosens his grip on me, “Snap out of it. Are you even listening to me?”

No, not really Zayne. I can really only focus on not grinding back into you right now.

“Ah yes,” I cough, “Pull back the stick…”

“Very good, just like that…” I bite back a whimper and the urge to rub my legs together at his praise, he knows good and well what he’s doing.

“Now…strike.”

I hit the ball, and when it goes in I snap out of whatever hypnotic haze I was in.

“It’s in!”

Zayne pulls back, and I stand up straight, placing my hands on my hips. “Did you see that? It was a great shot! I’m so cool…” Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I flash him a smile.

“I did.” He smiles warmly back, “You’re not a total beginner.”

“Maybe it’s because I practice shooting all the time. Or, it’s possible I’m a prodigy…” I started regaining my confidence after it had ever so slowly faltered on the pool table.

“Perhaps.” Zayne shrugs, “To be honest, all you need to be good at pool is…”

He leans over the edge of the table, looking over at me. My breath hitches at the sight.

“A steady hand, precision, and a calm attitude.” His eyes bore into mine, “Once you’ve locked into your target, don’t let go.”

I swallowed. Even though he was clearly talking about the ball, it felt oddly personal.

He has me play a bit more, teaching me as I go. I easily earn his praises and they ring like music in my ears.

“If a student does a good job,” I remind him, “shouldn’t they get a reward?”

He considers it for a second, “What do you want?”

Confidence bubbling up again inside of me, I sigh dramatically. “Well, it might be difficult to hit this next ball. Help me.”

“Is that all?” Zayne asks, clearly not convinced. Pausing before coming to help me, I give him a smug look, “What’s wrong Dr. Zayne? Are you scared?”

I was pushing my luck, and loving every second of it.

He frowned, “Provocation doesn’t work on me.”

“Then come here.” I nodded toward the pool table, giving him a sweet smile.

Zayne inches towards me, only moving slightly closer.

“Closer.” I demand, “Or else I can’t reach it.”

He gives me a confused look, “What exactly…”

I grab him by the collar, pushing him back onto the table. Zaynes cheeks turn pink as he stares up at me with a shocked expression. Lips slightly agape, I can see a million thoughts running behind his eyes. The dumbfounded look on his face makes me want to take him on the table right now.

“Look,” I pout, “the ball’s so far away. I think it’s time to use a cue rest.”

I tap the cue stick on each side of his head. Zayne narrows his eyes at me, “Using cue rests would be overkill.” He sits up, and I use the stick to slowly tug out his tie, “And this,” he glares, “is inappropriate.”

Though he feigns annoyance, the look in his eyes is a dead giveaway.

“But…” I pull the stick away leaning towards him, my breath dusting his ear, “I think you’re enjoying it…” He looks down and away at the table, clearly embarrassed, “I shouldn't have taught you so much” he mutters.

Running my fingers through his dark hair, I slowly tease my hand down his body, caressing his face, down to his chest, down to where I see where he’s aching for me to touch the most. I coo at him when I see the desperate look in his eyes, and quickly snap my hand away before I reach the bulge growing in his nice slacks.

Zaynes face is red hot as he sits up on the table enough that he’s eye level with me, “Who taught you to use your teacher as a cue rest…” he frowns.

“Well,” I place my hand on his chest over his heart, “this cue rests heartbeat is going to ruin my accuracy.” I tut.

“Is it my heartbeat affecting your accuracy, or yours?” His hand comes up to caress my cheek, “If you actually want to learn, I can show you another way…”

Zayne leans in, lips almost to mine before I grab his shoulder and push him back. He looks at me, wide eyed at the denial.

“Sir, this seems to be lacking professionalism.” Crossing my arms across my chest, his lips curve at my attempt to scold him.

“Weren’t you just using me as a cue rest?” He leans back in, “Talking about professionalism… is a bit too late.”

As he grabs me by my waist, I push him back onto the table again as a reply. The gesture only lasts a few seconds before Zayne smiles at me, quickly sitting up and using his hand around my waist to reverse us; flipping me onto my back and onto the table, he settled in between my legs. I squeak at the sudden change, as he now hovers over me, my head caged between his arms.

“Why don’t you let me show you…” Zayne pulls back, standing up straight. He grabs his cue stick, “Watch closely, I’m only going to do it once.”

Pushing his chest against mine, he goes for the ball right behind my head. His head hovers right above my face, and I lean up to place a kiss on his adams apple right as he strikes the ball. I have half a mind to bite into his neck, but he quickly stands back up as he watches the ball go in.

He looks down at me, and I’m sure I look utterly disheveled. From where he stood in between my thighs, my dress had ridden up high enough that every inch of my bottom half was almost on display for him to see. My hair was splayed out around me on the table, and my chest heaved with the breath I was so desperately trying to catch.

The sexual tension that had slowly built up throughout the night was now thick enough to cut with a knife. Smiling softly, Zayne tilts my chin up, caressing my jaw as his thumb slowly parted my lips, dipping it past my teeth and pressing it against my tongue. “Pretty little mouth…” he mutters, staring at the way his finger sits in between my lips. I look up at him through half-lidded eyes, sucking down on his thumb.

He frowns, “Always such a tease.” Zayne sighs, picking up my ankle, pressing a kiss to it. I craved his lips on mine, but I always enjoyed the shows he’d put on for me. He continued to kiss up my calf, closing his eyes as he felt my skin against his lips.

“Zayne.” I demanded, and he looked at me annoyed, as if I was interrupting something.

“Yes?”

“Kiss me…”

He leaned down, nose brushing against mine, but not meeting my lips. I pushed myself up, trying to connect us, but he pulled away at the last second. Frustrated and tired of his games, I grabbed Zayne by his tie, crashing my lips against his, pulling him down on top of me onto the table.

“Behave.” He groaned as I took his bottom lip in my teeth, tugging softly. Grabbing my wrists with his hand, he pinned them above my head. Zayne’s free hand roamed up my thigh, fingers dusting over the place I was praying for him to touch the most.

I squirmed under him as he toyed with the lace on my panties, never dipping his fingers past. His grip on my wrists tightened, lips leaving mine so our eyes could meet. Waves of lust crashed in his green eyes.

“What do you want?” His lips kissed down my neck and chest.

“You to touch me.” I whimpered.

He tsked, “Beg.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You heard me. Or do I need to teach you how to do that too?” Zayne nipped at my collarbone, then kissed the skin.

“Please…”

“What was that?”

“Please, Zayne.” Everytime I said please, his fingers inched closer to the arousal pooling in between my thighs, “Zayne, please, please, fuck, please.”

I felt him smile against my skin, and he dipped a finger inside of me.

Clenching around him, I moaned at the satisfaction.

Zayne groaned, “God, you’re so wet. You’ve been eager all night…” Pumping in and out, I stifled my whimpers and moans against his shoulder. He let go of my wrists, and my hands flew to his collar, gripping for dear life as he added another finger.

Tracing his thumb on my clit, two fingers curling up inside of me, Zayne always knew just how to make me come undone. He could get off on this alone, watching me fall apart underneath him by just his hands. I was seeing stars, thinking nothing could get better than this.

Zayne pulled away, and I cried out at the emptiness. He stood there for a second, just taking all of me in, “You’re so beautiful.” He took off his tie, gently grabbing me by the back of my head and lifting it up so he could tie the fabric around my mouth as a makeshift gag.

“As much as I love to listen to you, I don’t want anybody else to hear. Is that all right?”

I nodded at him and he smiled, petting my cheek, “Good girl.”

Reaching forward, I palmed his hard on through his nice, business slacks. The idea of them being around his ankles as he takes me on this table was enough to almost make me cry from joy. Sighing at the friction, Zaynes eyes fluttered closed, and I worked my hand up and undid his belt. Getting too eager, he freed himself, and slid my panties down to where they loosely dangled off one of my heels.

“I wish I could take my time with you,” He pressed his tip against my opening, “but this will have to do.” Sinking all the way down to the hilt, I choked out a muffled scream, squeezing my eyes shut as the tie killed my lewd noises.

Zayne grabbed my chin, fingers digging into my skin, “Eyes open.” He demanded, pulling out, and slamming back in, “Keep looking.”

Already overwhelmed from the stimulation he provided earlier, tears welled up in my eyes from just how good all of it felt. The impossibly delicious way he could fill me up, lips dancing across my skin as he chased after his own pleasure. His hand gripping into my hips, most likely leaving bruises, as he drilled into me; kissing my palm before biting into the skin to muffle his own groans.

Zayne’s skin glistened with sweat, the top buttons of his shirt undone, his lips red and swollen from my aggressions. He railed into me like a maniac, like he was fucking starving. Gracefully, his hand found its way back in between my thighs, finding the bundle of pleasure that made me cry out. At the feeling I blinked out tears, my eyes burning from the mascara I was practically sobbing away. I was moments away from ruining this table beneath me, and Zayne knew that.

He grabbed my neck, almost as if for stability as he picked up his pace. Desperately rolling his hips against mine, I clenched down around him “Just.. like that, oh... God." He moaned. I lifted my hips up to meet his thrusts, trying to chase my own release and his. Zayne looked me in the eyes, squeezing the hand around my neck, “My girl. Mine.” He groaned.

With one last thrust and his praise, I was screaming behind the tie, shaking from my release beneath him. Digging my nails into his biceps, his hips stuttered, and with a moan he pulled out, finishing all over my nice dress.

Zayne nearly collapsed on top of me as we laid there for a while, just soaking in the aftermath. As he pulled away, I watched him cringe at the mess he had left on me. For some reason, I started laughing.

“What’s that for?” He questioned.

I continued to giggle, “I didn’t know you were that good at pool…”

“If we had more time, I’d show you more of my techniques…”

Slapping him on the shoulder, I sat up, and he swept me off the table and back onto my feet. Brushing my hair with his fingers, he attempted to wipe away the mascara stains on my cheeks. “I know the back way out of here,” He pressed a kiss to my temple.

(divider by cafekitsune)

[delphi-shield]

— 「 FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT 」

fake dating/christmas party/hurt/comfort ❄️ leon secret santa ❄️ gift for @mydarlingclaudia

MERRY CHRISTMAS MISS CLAUDIA i'm your secret santa! i've wanted to write og4 leon for this blog for a while and when i got you for secret santa i was like IT'S TIME lmao. i hope you enjoy and i hope you have the best christmas!

wc: 5k

summary: leon's in a bind. he thought he would have a love life by christmas, but the holidays have rolled around and he's still single. you'll pretend to be his date for just one night, right?

content: fake dating, real dating, coworkers, christmas parties, mistletoe, lots of late night conversations, lots of self-doubt, secret loser leon, technically post-re4. divider from @/strangergraphics

Over the past year, you've discovered that Leon's really good at pitching a fit when he doesn't want to do something - or, at least, when he thinks he doesn't want to do something. He'll bitch and moan about being tired, about how he just wants to stay in and have a 'chill date' with some old movie. No amount of assuring him that he would have fun once he got there would make him stop dragging his feet. That very night, you’d been waiting for him at the door with arms crossed, already decked out in your Christmas sweater, cheap reindeer antler headband affixed to your head.

Leon lets out a quiet puff of laughter when he slouches into the room, looking considerably less festive than you. He takes in your appearance - your tacky sweater, your headband, the way you pout and tap your foot impatiently. How, exactly, was he supposed to take this seriously?

“What, no one let you play any reindeer games?” Leon quips, taking his sweet time putting his shoes on.

You roll your eyes. When you finally manage to get him out the door, he has a blast. You know it, he knows it - this part is just mandatory torture, a bonding experience he loves to put you through.

"We go, we say hello, we leave." You assure him. “We don’t have to stay long.”

Leon might buy that at this moment, but you know the second you step through the door, you won't be leaving that Christmas party until the very end. Two hours in, you would be ready to go and Leon would be having the time of his life. You would be tugging at his sleeve, checking on him:

Ready to go? No, sorry, hun. Let me finish my beer and we can go. 

Like clockwork. You weren't even sure he knew that he did that.

The Christmas music on the radio doesn’t do much to assuage his mood. He’s pouting the whole drive over. As soon as he pulls up to the house, he repeats the same mantra:

"We get in, we say hello, we leave." His hand smacks against the steering wheel to emphasize each point in the plan. You already have your door open, swinging out the side and marching up the freshly shoveled sidewalk.

"The decorations are so cute," you coo, crouching down to examine a particularly adorable light up gingerbread house - and to give him time to catch up.

Leon guides you up from the ground with a hand hovering behind your back. He herds you further down the sidewalk, still eager to get this over with. By the end of the night, you would be the one begging him to leave, but for now, you let him grouchily jam the doorbell.

Warmth floods out to greet you when Claire opens the door, the scent of cider and cinnamon rushing up to usher you in. Claire coos over your outfit, clicking her tongue and shaking her head.

"I should have put more effort in," she says, the pom of her Santa hat bouncing against her cheek. She's otherwise under dressed for the occasion, choosing comfort over festivity.

"What? No. Look at this place. You did all the decorations. That's way more effort," you counter, toeing off your shoes and stripping off your heavy coat.

Claire laughs. "I made my brother do most of it."

"Good to see you, too, Claire," Leon says, bristling over being ignored. She waves her hand, half hello, half dismissing him, and guides you further into the house, pointing you to the refreshments and giving a quick tour of the decorations.

Wherever Leon slinks off to, you're unconcerned. You have catching up to do just as much as he does.

Claire pops her hip up against the drink table. You twist the cap off your beer. Claire fishes one up for herself and pops the lid off against the table in one fluid motion. You huff a quick laugh - her party, her rules.

"So," Claire starts, leaning back against her elbows and surveying the crowd. She tracks your eyes for a moment, watches you watching Leon across the room. "I’ve been wondering. How did you guys actually meet?"

"What?" You laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners. You take a drink, buy yourself some time to feel out Claire's intention.

"Well, obviously, the first story you told me was a crock of shit," she laughs.

You can't argue with that. The first time you had met Claire, you had been masquerading as Leon’s partner, sparing him the embarrassment of turning up to her Christmas party alone. You hadn’t exactly announced to his friends that your first time meeting them had been a lie.

"I didn't lie," you point out. "Not totally."

"A lie by omission is still a lie."

"We actually did meet at work."

Claire rolls her eyes. She won't put up with this for long. “I mean, I buy that. But he absolutely did not charm you over the comms on some classified mission.”

There’s no part of you that wants to argue in Leon’s defense. He was a nightmare to work with, knew just how to get under your skin, and you were more than happy to have Hunnigan continue to babysit him.

“If you really want to know…”

It was the Wednesday before Christmas Eve when Leon's coiffed head popped up above your cubicle. Never a good sign. Where he went, trouble (and acclaim) followed. You filled in for Hunnigan once when she was out with bronchitis, and now you can't get rid of her puppy. He keeps coming back, a particularly malignant tumor that metastasizes over the walls of your cubicle, spills onto your desk and messes with your letter trays.

“You busy?” His arm slings over the top, hand drumming against the wall of your cubicle.

Stay strong, you think. Try not to move. Play dead. Maybe he'll get bored and move on. You try to type faster and only wind up jamming the keys down harder. Leon drums his hand quicker, rhythm irregular.

“What does it look like?” You bite out.

Mission failed. You weren't trained to resist torture like he was. In fact, you specialized in answering stupid questions and pointing out the obvious. It was a key component of your job.

Leon’s job, apparently, entailed blatantly ignoring hints. He swings into your cubicle, brushes aside a stack of documents to sit on your desk. His forearms balance on his thighs, hands held together between his knees. 

“I need a favor.”

It just gets worse. What kind of favor could Special Agent Kennedy possibly want from you, and why did you have a feeling that it was going to be off the books?

"If I'm doing favors, I'm staying clocked in," you drone.

"Not possible for this one," he shrugs. "Sorry. I'll make it up to you."

You roll your eyes. Silence stretches between the two of you, filled only with the intermittent clicks of your mouse as you try to track down the most up to date geospatial information for your assigned agent - you know, the one you're actually supposed to be dealing with. 

Leon's both annoying and persistent. He shakes his fringe from his face, stretches out 'so...' into an elongated, cowish sound that sets your teeth on edge. You roll your hand, gesturing for him to continue.

"I need a date," he blurts out. He's smart enough to continue speaking quickly, hand already raised - palm outward, begging for peace. "Not a real date. Just for a couple of hours, for a party. We go, we say hello, we leave."

A beat. You give him time to throw in a ‘just kidding’. God knows you aren’t throwing him a life preserver. When he twiddles his thumbs, content to sink instead of bail himself out, you scoff. You don’t even look up from your computer. 

"That is, by far, your worst line."

"I’m serious. Please. Just a couple of hours. That's all I'm asking. You don’t have to talk to me ever again."

Your eyes cut over to him. Not a single smug smirk in sight. You're almost surprised by the pleading hiding behind his eyes. You take it all in, try to assess him for any hint of deceit. You only find the bags under his eyes, darker than you'd seen before.

“Go alone,” you shrug.

“I can’t. I’ve been –” Leon stops. He sits up tall, peers over the top of your cubicle to see who’s around. Meerkat is a good look on him, his nose sharp in profile, brow furrowed and focused. You avert your eyes back to your computer. He lowers his voice, his eyes still flitting around for eavesdroppers. “I’ve… exaggerated the truth about my love life to a few friends. I promised I would introduce them to someone at this party.”

You note the desperation, try to stay impartial. You're good at that part, too. Trained for it. He’s in a bind of his own making. Some humility would do him good. You’d be doing him a favor by making him own up to his lie.

Your gut flips when you consider his proposal. What was this, high school? Why could he possibly need a fake date? It was so immature, you almost couldn't believe it.

Another thought burns at the back of your mind, keeps you wary. You can't help but feel used. What, he was fine pretending to take you out but couldn't conceive of actually asking you to go to his stupid party? It had to be fake, a preservation of his ego. You weren't even a part of this equation.

You should say no. You should leave him high and dry, make him look like an idiot in front of his friends - because that's what he is. An idiot. An idiot who can't get an actual date to save his life.

"Match my salary, then we'll talk."

Leon groans, head flopping back against your cabinets. He’s considering it, you can tell.

What’s the harm in it, you wonder, casting him a sidelong glance. It would be nice to have something to do on Christmas Eve.

"You owe me for this. You're gonna pick me up."

Leon's eyes light up. He hops off your desk, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. You hold up a finger to stop him before he can talk himself out of this.

"And you're gonna buy me dinner."

"There's food at the party."

"Good food?"

"If you don't like it, I'll get you something on the way home."

That's more like it. You spin back to face your computer, pulling your report back up.

"Deal. What's the dress code?"

Leon's silence speaks volumes. He's completely helpless when it comes to the details. You had figured someone with his looks had a social life that was bursting at the seams, that he was taking the fat field agent paycheck and he was hopping from party to party.

It's at his friend's house, he explains. You note the hesitation before he says 'friend'. Maybe it is all a front. Kennedy can't really go home to an empty apartment and a silent phone, can he? Everyone made him sound like such a big shot. You didn't expect the snapshots of your lives to be matching photographs, a wide shot when you held them next to each other. You try to picture his living room and all you can envision is a beige box.

You wring what little information he has out of him with a series of direct, probing questions. You're both comfortable in this routine. The quick, perfunct back and forth, an exchange not unlike one you might have over comms. He scribbles his number onto a sticky note and slides it over to you. You’ll work out the details of your story later, make it bulletproof.

The idea has been ghosting around the crevices of your mind for the entire day. You force yourself to wait a little longer before calling him, give him time to get home and get settled in. Trying to do the same is fruitless. Your appetite has mysteriously vanished, your Wednesday night show not catching your attention. You choke down half a bowl of cereal before you drum up the courage to call him.

"So, how did we meet?" You start, skipping past hello.

"Work."

"Going with the truth on that one?" You toss a piece of popcorn into your mouth, eyes fixed on your show.

"Helps to sprinkle the truth in with the lie, right?"

You can practically hear the grin on his face. You roll your eyes and bite back a sharp response. No need spoiling the mood immediately. You already agreed to do this. You won't make it harder than it needs to be.

"When did you ask me out?"

“Does that seriously matter?”

Of course it matters. Leon’s completely useless at this kind of thing, it turns out. You had expected more. He seemed the type to have experience. Maybe your own naivety had caught up to you. His confidence had you fully convinced that this would be a cake walk.

Was this seriously the guy who had single-handedly rescued the president’s daughter a few months back? Because he was floundering when you asked him if he had met your parents yet.

“Do you want me to meet them?”

“Oh my god,” you laugh, “No. They would eat you alive.”

That one stays in the story. It’s too believable not to. You bet Leon makes a real fool of himself in front of parents.

That’s where you went wrong. As soon as you started to rationalize what a relationship with him might look like, to add that touch of realism that would sell this story, you were fucked. He indulges all your questions and your musings.

Thursday night, you call him to ask what shows you watch together. He doesn’t see the point, doesn’t get that TV is such an important, ritualistic component of a relationship - or,  at least, one that you want. He lets you pick, snorting in surprise when you name a dating show on VH1. You assign him homework. Watch the newest episode the Sunday before the party, and you’d fill him in on the details on the ride to the party.

Friday, you ask him what pet names he wants to use. He flounders again, acting dismissive in a way that you’ve now identified as embarrassment. You bite back the urge to tease him and offer up some suggestions instead.

“‘Babe’ is fine, I guess,” he says, “but I’m probably just going to call  you by your name.”

When you hang up that night, you wonder if he meant it. Babe fits your perception of him from a week ago, but now you aren’t so sure. You turn the question over and over in your head for the next day, trying out different names in his voice. Something simple and classic, maybe. ‘Honey’, or ‘sweetie’.

The question is still turning in your mind when he calls you on Saturday. You don’t have a chance to get your question out. He blindsides you with his own.

“Have we said ‘I love you’ yet?”

Your mind races to catch up. Had he? No way. He mumbled when he got off the phone sometime, but there was no way that was an ‘I love you’. There was no way. It hadn’t even been a full week yet.

Then it clicks for you. Right. This is fake, all of it. Every phone call was for his benefit. You had initiated all of this. You should be happy that he’s finally contributing to the planning. You feel sick to your stomach instead.

“I don’t care,” you say, entirely nonchalant, none of it forced. The silence hangs over the line. You pray for Leon to let it go, to give you the grace that you haven’t given him.

He’s smooth with it - doesn’t point out the strain in your voice, blames it on a bad connection. For once, he takes the reins. No ‘I love you’ yet. He’s working up the courage, he says, and your heart clenches, breath catches, head spins.

You make an excuse to leave early. He reminds you to tune in for your show tomorrow. You hang up without saying goodbye.

He picks you up just like he promised. As much as you’d wanted to wear the silly, light-up Christmas sweater at the back of your closet, you couldn’t. You couldn’t show up as his date looking like that. No one would buy it. You already look out of place on his arm.

You’d expected the car ride to be awkward. The last time you’d seen him in person had been when you struck this whole deal. Instead of rehashing your story, though, Leon asks you question after question about the dating show you told him to watch.

To your surprise, he’d actually watched it. You go over the contestants, the washed up rock star they were all attempting to date, even recap the most notable drama. He’s hooked. The veneer of disinterest he tries to keep up is so thin it’s see through. You almost want to tell him to turn the car around so you can catch the reruns instead of suffering through this party.

You don't know what kind of party you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. Every corner of the place was saturated in Christmas, inside and out. Garlands of popcorn and dried orange slices, a tree decorated so heavily with strands of lights and garish ornaments that it's branches sagged. The warm lights bathed everything in a smooth glow. The chill that had stung your face on the walk in melted away, leaving only the pulsing afterburn across your cheeks.

Plenty of people had already arrived - thank god. If you'd had to make awkward small talk with the host until people arrived to take the heat off of you, you might have just said fuck it and marched back to the car. You keep a firm grip on Leon's arm, eyes flitting across each and every face. You didn't recognize a single one of these people.

That's precisely why Leon chose you. It makes your stomach lurch to think about. You're convenient. A face to put to a title, to apply to the vague stories that Leon has fabricated. Anyone could be on his arm right now, and it wouldn't make a difference. No one would know.

You stay glued to his side for the first hour. It works well enough, a handful of people overjoyed to meet you after all the stories that Leon’s told. You do your best to keep the sparkle in your eye, to look at him like he makes the sun shine. It’s hard when it feels like the floor could open up and swallow you at any given moment, when each affectionate touch is just a tool.

You excuse yourself for a drink. That will help your nerves. It can’t make them any worse, that’s for sure. You have a clear window, the drink table empty. In and out, then back to Leon’s side.

Fishing up a beer from the ice chest, you scavenge around for a bottle opener. Christ - all these preparations and no bottle opener? You’re tunnel-visioned into your search, don’t even notice the woman joining you at the table

“Want some help with that?” A redhead chirps, sidling up to you. She holds her hand out for your drink.

What’s the harm? You pass it over with a ‘thanks’ that quickly turns to a sharp inhale. She pops the lid off the beer with the edge of the table, tears a jagged crescent through the plastic tablecloth - cut one of Santa’s reindeer clean in two.

“My party, my rules,” she laughs. “I’m Claire. You’re with Leon, right?”

Your stomach drops. You can practically peer down at yourself, your soul leaving your body for a brief moment. Shit– Leon had warned you about her. Said she wasn't malicious, per se, but she could sniff out bullshit quicker than most. You run the facts back in your mind. If you could get past her, you'd be golden.

Claire's finger bounces between you and Leon. She leans her hip against the table, folds her arms across her chest.

“I don't get that at all,” she says, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a flick of her head. “What's the story?”

Holy shit, that was quicker than you expected. Stay cool. Remember your lines.

“We actually met at work,” you start. Easy enough. It’s not even a lie. You unravel the rest of the details for her one by one, plodding through the steps of your imagined romance with deliberate care.

Claire’s eyes stayed fixed on you. She smiles and laughs where appropriate, but she tracks you with the cold eyes of a wolf on the hunt. A chill pulses down your spine. Is it really so hard to believe that you’re with Leon? Do you look so out of place?

“Good for him,” she finally says. She takes a long drink, still watching you.

“He’s great.”

“He’s okay.”

Maybe she meant it as a joke, but you have to force your laugh out from around the lump in your throat. Did she buy it? You can’t tell. She claps you on the shoulder, harder than you expected.

“It was really great to meet you,” Claire says. She slips back into the crowd with a smile, flowing naturally into a group of guests. Your eyes linger on her, but she doesn’t look back. She doesn’t slip into hushed whispers, no one turns to stare in your direction.

You wind back through the crowd, glue yourself back to Leon’s side. He lifts his arm instinctively, curls it around your hip like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He doesn’t even pause his conversation.

How is this the same clueless man that you had spent half a week planning out every minute detail of your imagined relationship? How can he be so relaxed and in control now?

That’s the difference between the two of you, you realize. There was planning, and there was doing. Clearly, Leon could see his commitments through. You were botching this. Everyone knew you were a fake. They had to.

“You okay?” Leon asks, head inclined closer to your ear. You swallow thickly, force a smile.

“Are you about ready to go?” You ask, keeping your voice low.

He’s not - you can tell - but he tosses his snack plate in the trash and says a round of goodbyes anyway, urging you out the door.

The car is silent. Leon flips through radio stations, never staying on one for long. Christmas music, rock ballad, regular ballad, Christmas music again - repeat. He fidgets with the vents, turns the heat up, then down, one degree at a time.

"Seriously, you good?" he asks.You keep your face turned to the window, watching the decorations roll by.

Leon glances at you - or that's what he thinks, at least. His eyes linger for too long. He corrects his course sharply, swerving away from the curb at the last possible moment.

"Yeah. Fine."

Neither of you believe that. You’ve spent the whole night lying - he knows what it looks like, and he lets you get away with it.

Leon turns the music up a tick. You spend the rest of the drive in silence. He pulls up in front of your place and cuts the engine, and that has to be the record for world’s most awkward drive.

Bundling your things in your arms, you hurry out of his car with a quick ‘thanks for inviting me’ that feels misplaced given the circumstances - but what the hell else were you going to say? You needed to sleep this whole thing off.

"Hey."

You stop in your tracks. You're almost positive you've left a drag tail in the snow, stopped so fast you nearly slipped on the sidewalk. Leon's window is rolled down, his body nearly halfway out of it.

"I appreciate what you did for me tonight," he says.

Your heart deflates, a balloon released in your chest, bouncing off your ribs and drumming against your lungs before it floats pitifully to a rest in the pit of your stomach.

"No problem," you say, shoulders back, head held high. "To be honest, I didn't think anyone would buy it."

His head tips to the side. His eyes narrow, studying you, trying to figure out your meaning.

"Why? You did great."

"I don't know. I didn't think we would look like a very believable couple."

He sticks his head back into his car, fumbles with his seatbelt overlong, and finally pops the door open. His feet find traction on the icy sidewalk much easier than yours. You chalk it up to his boots, his training, anything to keep your mind on the little details instead of the big picture.

“I thought it was pretty believable.”

Don’t read into it, you tell yourself again and again. It’s just going to hurt if you try to interpret greater meaning from that.

“Yeah? Glad I could help.” You hook your thumb over your shoulder, fishing clumsily for your keys. “Guess I’ll see you at work, then.”

Leon’s eyes cut back to your door. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, balanced perfectly on the ice. For a moment, you think you see his hand twitch towards yours. You linger, waiting for the touch of his hand around your wrist, willing the warmth that you imagine to be real.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets and nods.

“Yeah. See you.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Claire interjects. “He didn’t even ask you out that night? He walked you to the door and bailed?”

You shake your head. “I asked him out like a week later. We were working late on New Years. He said he knew a great spot for coffee if I wanted to go on break. I said we could only go on our day off.”

Her eyes sharpen, casting her hunt out into the crowd of party-goers. You find Leon first - hunched over a snack platter across the room, contributing minimally to conversation with some people from Claire’s work. Claire, experienced hunter that she is, tracks your sight to find her quarry.

“He is so stupid. So dumb. Look at you,” she declares, waving you up and down - presenting you. “He made you ask? Ooh, I’m gonna – Leon!”

Leon’s head pops up from the cheese tray - meerkat chic, swiveling in the direction of the woman on the hunt. Claire points to the ground in front of her sharply, doesn’t even have to bark out ‘c’mere’ before his training kicks in and he’s marching himself over.

“What’s up?” He pops a palmful of cashews into his mouth, then slides the same hand against the small of your back.

His casual attitude earns him no favors. Claire thwacks his shoulder, berates him for making you ask first. He shrinks away - play dead. You taught him that one.

“You ready to go?” You ask once Claire’s done ragdolling him and marches off to tell the others how spineless Leon is.

Leon surveys the party - that’s what you think he’s doing, at least. His gaze is focused higher, examining the doorways carefully. His eyes sharpen, lock on their target. He nods, his thumb rubbing gentle arcs against your back.

“Yeah. Let’s head out. Wait for me in the hall, okay? I’ll get our stuff.”

You follow his directions thoughtlessly, planting yourself in the hallway he had pointed to. Leon flits about, saying goodbyes as he weaves through the crowd. Your coat is slung over his arm when he winds his way back to you.

Before you can protest, tell him he forgot your bag and your scarf, he smacks a hand dramatically against his forehead. He holds up a finger - hang on, here, take this, I’ll be right back – kisses your forehead, and floats back into the crowd.

He comes out only holding your scarf. You huff. Leon’s not a forgetful man. This is clearly on purpose, for his own entertainment. He loops your scarf around your necks for you, settling it into place and tying a clumsy knot.

“Your bag. I forgot, I’m sorry.” He kisses your cheek as he turns.

There was a twinkle in his eye when he turned. You’d caught it. It wasn’t just the shine of the lights. He was up to something. You scan your surroundings, look for cameras hidden, for guests watching a little too intently. Nothing immediately jumps out at you. You glance up - and there’s the culprit. A little branch bound with twine, berries dotting the little branches, suspended over the doorway.

Schooling your face back into mild annoyance, you go so far as to tap your foot. If he wants to put on a show, so will you.

“Here you go,” he says, handing over your bag. You wait for his next move. No way this was the end of his plan - and you’re right. As soon as your bag is slung over your shoulder, he’s patting himself down. Front left, front right, back pockets at the same time, chest at the same time. “Shit. My keys. One second–”

You kiss his cheek before he can strike first.

“On the key rack,” you point out, hooking your thumb over your shoulder. “It’s bad karma to abuse the mistletoe, you know.”

Leon huffs. He spares the mistletoe above your heads a glance.

“You made that up.”

Absolutely, you did. He crosses through the doorway and snags his keys. Before you can head out the door, he dangles them over his head. You roll your eyes and kiss him square on the lips before he can justify his poor man’s mistletoe.

You’ll risk bad karma for a kiss.

[shuenkio]

Wishing on You | 니키 — 엔.하.이.픈 🎄

• Paring: Ni-Ki X M!reader | Genre: Soft fluff.

Synopsis: Dating M/N as a joke, using the relationship to escape his own painful memories. However, karma strikes when Ni-ki unexpectedly falls deeply in love with M/N for real.

Cw: bad language, none.

Non proof read | English is not my 1st.

This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio

A☃️N: A Christmas gift for all lol, I cannot can't be in this holiday 😜 can't exactly say I'm back but it's 5050. Anyway advance happy Merry Christmas.

"I'm sorry about this m/n, look I'm sorry ok? You know I never apologize to someone but you. I know I was wrong in this for toying you, and I know you won't forgive for what I've done for... Can we pretend like this was never a joke ? Like we're for real together now?" Ni-ki expressed how guilty he was, he never said the word sorry before which made this situation even worse and somehow made you feel special? Or was it a lie again?

Snow continues falls softly, blanketing the world in quiet. Each flake drifts lazily, melting on warm skin of both, turning the air crisp and still.

The icy weather does help you to get from boiling hot at some point however, deep down in your ocean of thought, it feels like he meant what he was saying. The bad guy who got destroyed by many girls, the one who got cheated on, the one who got hurt the most in the end. Then why would he toy with you, when he knows so well about this feeling, being betrayed on?

That's not the case right now, for what you're thinking. Kinda toxic that you wanted to get back with him too but why not? He can change, you can change him don't you? The one that never says sorry or thank you typa guy but for you, it was a different scenario? Ni-ki is regretful for what he did, well his nose is kinda red right now wait is he tearing, gosh.

Stressing, Hands tucked into coat pockets, m/n exhaled, warm breath curling into the frosty air. You made up your mind, either staying with him or ending this relationship for real.

Tears streamed down his face, silent and unbroken, Ni-ki's chest still as if even grief refused to shatter the quiet. He looks down to the snow covered ground, avoids being looking at, while he is on his weakness.

Close the distance between you and him, as you lift up his chin.

"Are you sure you'll never do it again?" You asked. He drew a shaky breath, forcing himself to steady, his voice trembling but clear as he spoke through the tears, determined something.

"i swear to Santa, if I'd toy, cheated, playing with your feelings again on you, I'd let you shave my head bold" what?

"sigh shut up"

"can I...hug you?" M/n rolled his eyes, exhaling sharply as Ni-ki, still wiping away tears, hesitantly asked for a hug.

"fine I guess..," You said nonchalantly, the voice is flat, as you shrugged slightly, offering no more than a careless glance. Despite the dismissive tone, you didn’t pull away when Ni-ki stepped closer.

Ni-ki wrapped his arms around you, pulling them close, resting his chin on your shoulder despite the height difference. There was a warmth in the embrace, a sense of quiet comfort that filled the space between them.

Under the flake storming, You could feel the weight of Ni-ki sigh against your neck, the way his body seemed to melt, just for a moment, into the calm of being held. It was a strange mixture of vulnerability and safety, and though You'd remained still, that both of you couldn’t ignore the faint tug in their chest.

"I'll be good for you... Really"

"..."

"바보같이 사랑해..."

"Okay... Well um... Merry Christmas?"

© to all the rightfully owners of pics and dividers.

[angelltheninth]

Every Time He Leaves

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, suggestive, reunions, teasing, family planning

Word count: 0.8k

Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters

A/N: I heard that the sequel isn't coming in 2025 but that won't stop me from writing fics for this amazing man.

"Mi vida, I'm home." Miguel heavy footsteps echoed through the halls, a good sort of comfort now in your current state. "Baby? Are you asleep?" You could pretend to be. Like you pretended all those night before, then wake up in the morning and wonder if he would be there or not. No. Not this time.

You waited for him to open the door, his charming, soft smile thrown your way, almost shaking your resolve.

"You didn't have to wait up for me you know, I don't mind cuddling up next to my-" He stopped talking once his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the bedroom and he saw your eyes red from crying, "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" You nodded. You were about to explain when he was in front of you in a flash, his hands pressing and prodding, looking you over. The bed dipped to one side under Miguel's weight, his worried expression turning a little angry, " Where does it hurt? Who hurt you? I'll make them regret it!"

You let out a long heavy sigh. Taking one of his hands you placed it above your heart and then pointed your finger at him, finally meeting his eyes with your being full of tears, "You hurt me."

"What?" He looked like you just slapped him, which would have been preferable, he would hardly feel that. But your words, they cut deep. "What do you mean? Was I rough with you last night? You told me it was-"

"Oh for gods sake Miguel, I'm not talking about that. I'm not physically hurt." You backed up a bit, putting some space between you two. It was a little empty space, easy to close, yet it felt like you were worlds, universes apart, "I don't ever see you anymore. You go on missions, you come back, you... fuck me and then you leave. Do you really not get how that makes me feel? How... used and alone I feel?"

The sex was good. The sex was damn good. Perfect even. He was so close to you, he was smiling at you, you were one with him, holding him, feeling him everywhere, kissing him. But those moments, they passed way too quickly for your liking and then you were empty and alone again.

"Is that really how you feel?" He sounded like he couldn't wrap his head around what you were saying. At the same time you could see it on his face that he was putting the puzzle pieces together. "I love you, more then anything, you're the most important person in this or any universe to me. I... would stop. If you wanted me to. We could settle down, buy a bigger house, start a family, like we talked about."

"How? How can you say that when you leave without... without even telling me? Your job is important, I understand that, but for the love of god Miguel, I'm your girlfriend! I at least deserve to know when you're leaving don't I? What if... what if one day you... what if you don't come back to me?" You started hiccuping while you cried, your body shaking from the wave of emotions that you were finally able to unleash. There was a part of you that felt like it was selfish, that Miguel wasn't yours to keep and that doing so would mean a lot of people would get hurt. Did you deserve him in the first place?

Miguel's arms wrapped around your smaller frame, you could hear his heart beating quickly, you could feel him shaking along with you while he balanced himself on his knees, his suit flickering on and off. "I would never abandon you. Even if I have to crawl back from Hell itself I'd find a way to come back to you. I made up my mind long ago, when I die it will when we're both old and I lost all my hair."

"And we have grandkids running around?" You whisper against his chest, voice still raw from crying and nose stuffed from sniffles.

"So many grandkids. We're gonna have a big family, just like we planned. I know its hard right now but its almost over okay? Then we can settle down anywhere you want." Miguel cupped the back of your head as his lips pressed to your forehead, lingering there for the longest time, "Nothing is more important then you. Nothing."

"I want at least three kids." He nodded, "A big house in the country side." A nod, "A big, cuddly dog." Another nod, "And you in my bed every night." He kissed you, not caring the least that you tasted like tears. But he didn't stop there. His hands lifted you up by the hips, your legs wrapping around his body as you felt yourself being lowered on the bed.

You felt his suit vanish and warm muscles take its place, "Three kids. That's a lot of work. We should practice as much as we can." Miguel smirked like an idiot while he undressed you, ready to prove his love to you.

[sunny374940]

I will teach you all I know

So here's a little story about Emmrich learning that his daughter is a mage.

Here it is on ao3

“FIRE!” Manfred was yelling excitedly from the living room. While this would not be an unusual occurrence in itself, the sound that followed made Emmrich's blood freeze. Ellie was screaming in fear and Emmrich was out of his study and down the stairs in mere seconds, skidding to a stop in front of his daughter. She was standing there, crying, and he fell down on his knees to examine her for any signs of injury, but blessedly there was nothing to be seen. So what was-

Ah. There was a burnt patch on the rug, Manfred must have stamped the fire out.

“Manfred?” he half asked, half admonished. He had directly forbidden any unsupervised magic inside the house and yet here they were.

“NOT MANFRED,” came the answer. Well, that mystery could wait, Emmrich decided, directing his attention back to Ellie. She was shaking, tears were still streaming down her face and she looked so terrified that Emmrich's heart almost broke at the sight. He drew her into an embrace, holding her tightly and stroking her hair until the tremors finally stopped. She squirmed in his arms and he let her go.

“Elanora, what happened? Are you alright?”

“It was an accident!” she wailed, on the verge of more tears. “I don't know what happened, it just started burning!” And then she was sobbing again and Emmrich picked her up to comfort her. She rested her head on his shoulder and his mind went back to the time when she was a baby, when he and Rook carried her through countless nights just like this. And now she was six years old and such a happy and clever child. Though not so happy at the moment, it seemed.

Emmrich looked at Manfred with a raised eyebrow.

“Manfred, could you please tell me what happened here?”

“SHE'S LIKE MANFRED! LIKE YOU!”

What? Like him? Surely not… “What do you mean?”

“MAGIC!” Manfred was clapping his hands in glee.

Emmrich gaped at him. She was a mage? She was a mage! Oh, but how he looked forward to teaching her! But that was for later, now he had a scared little girl in his arms who deserved an explanation.

“Ellie, would you come down for a bit?”

She sniffled but nodded against his shoulder and he settled her on the sofa and sat down next to her. He handed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose with a honk, giggling at the sound she produced. He rolled his eyes fondly. All was right in the world when his daughter was amused by bodily functions.

“Do you understand what happened?” he asked softly.

“Noo? But I didn't want to do it, I was playing dragons with Freddy and I was burning down a village and it was just pretend, but then the rug caught fire!” She was getting agitated again and Emmrich ran a hand down her back to help her calm down.

“I am not angry with you, my dear. You are showing the first signs of being able to use magic, though you are not yet able to control it.”

Her eyes lit up. “I'm gonna be a mage? Like you?”

“Yes, you are. But there is much studying ahead of you, if you wish to master it.”

She nodded seriously. “I can do it, daddy, don't worry.”

“Of that I have no doubt.”

Right then the front door opened, heralding Rook's return from the market. Ellie took off after him immediately.

“Dad, dad!” she yelled, running up to him and he caught her in a hug.

“Hey, little bug, how was your day?“

“I burned a hole in the rug and I'm gonna be a mage like daddy!” she said proudly, pointing at the rug in question. They walked back to Emmrich and Ellie plopped herself on the sofa, examining her hands hopefully for signs of more fire coming out of them.

“Oh. Okay?” Rook looked at Emmrich, more than a little confused.

“Rook, it is marvelous! She managed to produce flame all by herself. And at such a young age!”

“Wow, that's great! Well, not the rug, I mean. And she's gonna have the best teacher right at home.”

Rook said the last part with such conviction that Emmrich blushed a little at the words. Then Rook turned back to Ellie.

“Are you gonna be a necromancer like your daddy?”

“Nope. I wanna be cool like Neve and make ice knives!” She was animated now, making woosh-woosh noises, pretending to cast magic at an invisible opponent.

Emmrich sputtered at her comment and Rook's shoulders were shaking with quiet laughter.

“Excuse me, young lady, is commanding the dead not ‘cool’ enough for you?” he asked, pretending to be offended.She patted his hand consolingly.

“Neve can teach you to make ice too, if you want to be cool, you know.”

Rook was still snickering, but Emmrich pretended not to see.

“I shall remember that, then, should I ever wish to become cool like Neve and yourself,” he said haughtily, but there was laughter in his voice he couldn't quite hide.

He raised his gaze back to Rook, who was now watching him with a warm smile.

“So there are gonna be three mages in the house now? I'm beginning to feel a little outnumbered,” Rook chuckled, taking a hold of Emmrich's hand. “But I guess I'll manage, they're family, after all.”

Emmrich smiled back at him, still as hopelessly in love with his husband as he was when they first got together. Rook tugged at his hand to bring him closer and then he kissed him in belated greeting. Emmrich reciprocated happily, until-

“Daaaad!”

Rook drew away and looked at their daughter with a grin.

“Yeah, El?”

“Ew. Take yourselves elsewhere please,” she said in such a good imitation of Emmrich's voice that they both burst out laughing.

[velvetvexations]

I unfollowed PT after she pulled the "you can't be afab and a transfem" thing a while ago, which was already really hurtful, and I kinda assumed the current backlash was just her saying some radfem talking points off the cuff, I figured it was an escalation but nothing too bad, but I found the posts and wow, this is like actually vile. Like I don't even have words for it vile. I really enjoyed her music and her posts helped me deal with a lot of my own issues for the short time I followed her, seeing her go so far down the transradfem pipeline that she's essentially saying (paraphrased) "transmascs have so few problems that it's our right as transfems to silence them whenever they try to speak, they do not even deserve to have a voice and pretending they do is in of itself transmisogynistic" is just. I don't know, it's just sad? I really did look up to her, seeing her hit that low of a point due to what I can only assume is years of harassment(which I mean, TERFs/radfems exploit past abuse to recruit so not surprised the suffering transfems have faced can be used the same way) hurts in a way I can't even describe.

I know we need to keep fighting to make it out of this, to actually move us towards trans unity and liberation(honestly seeing the ammount of random people jumping on the "let's harass a transfem for fun" train with PT makes the angry butch in me want to crack skulls in her defense even if she says disgusting things about people like me), but right now I hate this fucking discourse about as much as I hated ace/aro discourse even though the fight there was also worth it in the end. And I know shit's always been rough in queer spaces and the work will never truly be done, but seeing the trans community falling apart so badly that people straight up don't think some trans people deserve a voice at all is killing me.

We all deserve so much better than this. We really do.

We do, anon. I love you and I'm here for you. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[deathdetermineslife]

No one cares about how you think being ficto isn't harmful because you're an anti. Your opinion doesn't matter anyways. Antis have done a good job of invading this historically proshipping space. You sure did do a good job at ruining this community. You've only been in this community since July and you've done nothing but indoctrinate children into your fucking cult. There is no safe space for real selfshippers anymore because you've made this community harmful. You can act like you do good by making templates and inbox games and "spreading positivity" (Which, you can't do by wishing death to an entire harmless community, by the way. But you're too stupid to understand the gravity of you hurt.) but you do nothing but spread harm through your posts by gatekeeping. There's no safety in gatekeeping. You've spread more indirect hatred through this community than anyone else ever has. I hope you sleep well at night knowing these victims of abuse you pretend to care about are being hurt because of you. Continue lying about being a victim yourself for internet brownie points. We all just feel so bad for you, an anti with no common sense. We built this community by hand and you've destroyed it. I hope you feel good about yourself knowing you've made all of us feel unsafe.

Go ahead and block me, I don't care. Just know we all want you gone. And whine and cry about how this is harassment, I really don't care at this point. Someone needs to say it to you.

there's so much I could say about this, but since it's Christmas eve, I'm quite tired, and I don't feel like trying to refute all of this gobbledygook, instead I'll just say this;

I just got out of church with my family, and while I am pagan, I had a lovely time at Christmas Eve service. at the end we held candles and sang silent night (which has been my favorite Christmas song since I was a kid, fun fact about me :]), and had a nice time seeing people I havent seen since last year. whether or not you folks out there celebrate Christmas, I hope tomorrow is a good day for you! and if you do, I hope you get all the presents you could ever ask for !!!

do something kind for someone this holiday if you can :) go say something nice in someone's inbox, draw them their selfship, whatever. kindness gets you a long way in life, no matter what other people may think.

have a holly jolly Christmas teeehhehehehe >:D

(also I know I said yesterday I would get out more pride stamps but I didn't have time today to finish the rest of them so instead I'll probably get them out tomorrow as a Christmas treat! :3)

[kinzhae]

Hi hiiii! Okay so... I'm not quite sure if you accept like request and all but i enjoyed your vlog so much cause been craving for Gojo angst that hurts my heart and i love it 😭😭

And i have this idea... You know Toga Himiko right? So like i have this idea in mind where Gojo neglected the reader, like the bully fic you made? And so, in the end Gojo was like dyin (In his teens where he still didn't know RCT). Reader having the same power as Toga Himiko so yeah you know what happens next.

That episode ached my heart so much that i cried and i kinda wanna see it in Gojo x reader part. You don't have to make it just sayin my idea and all 😅

Omgg hello, you are actually the first person who requested to write something so ofc I will do it. I didnt continue watching MHA after season 2 so I might not capture Toga Himiko's quirk that well </3 but I still tried and hoping you will like it.

Note: it ended with a slight angst.

Past Wound That Will Never Change

The world had always been cruel to those who were different, and you learned that lesson early. Your cursed technique was rare, one that made people uneasy. By consuming the blood of others, you could take on their appearance and, to a degree, their abilities. It was powerful, yes, but it was also isolating. People whispered behind your back, called you a parasite, and avoided you like a curse waiting to manifest.

Gojo Satoru, of course, had been the worst of them all.

He wasn’t just cruel; he was relentless. With his unmatched abilities and natural charisma, he had no reason to think twice about how his words or actions might hurt you. To him, you were a joke, a walking anomaly he could poke fun at when life at Jujutsu High grew dull.

“You ever think about how creepy you are?” he’d say, his friends laughing along. “Like, do you just look at someone and think, ‘Wow, I wanna drink their blood’? That’s disgusting, man.”

The words stung every time. You tried to fight back, to pretend his insults didn’t matter, but he had a way of cutting deeper than anyone else. The more you tried to stand your ground, the more he mocked you.

“You’re not even a real sorcerer,” he said once, his voice dripping with disdain. “You just leech off of everyone else. What’s the point of keeping you around?”

No one defended you. Geto sometimes gave you a pitying glance, but even he didn’t dare go against Gojo. They were close friends after all. You were utterly alone, and every day felt like a battle you were losing.

It all came to a head during a mission gone wrong. You’d been sent out with Gojo and another student to exorcise a particularly nasty curse. Things had been going well until Gojo, confident as ever, underestimated the enemy. The curse turned its attention on you, nearly killing you in the process. You barely managed to survive, but when the dust settled, Gojo shrugged it off like it was nothing.

“You’re fine,” he said, his tone dismissive. “Stop being so dramatic.”

That was the moment something inside you broke. That night, you packed your things and left Jujutsu High without a word. If they thought you were a parasite, then so be it. You would survive on your own terms, far away from their judgmental eyes.

---

Years passed, and you became someone entirely different. The pain of your past hardened into a cold resolve. You used your cursed technique without restraint, earning a reputation as a rogue sorcerer. People feared you, and for the first time in your life, you felt powerful. You no longer cared about proving yourself to anyone. You lived by your own rules, taking what you needed and leaving destruction in your wake.

But fate had a twisted sense of humor.

You found him in the ruins of a cursed battlefield, slumped against a crumbling wall, his once-pristine uniform soaked with blood. Gojo Satoru, the untouchable, was dying.

He looked up at you with bleary eyes, his usual confidence replaced by something fragile.

“Figures,” he muttered, his voice barely audible. “Of all people… it had to be you.”

You stared at him, your emotions a tangled mess of anger, bitterness, and something you didn’t want to name. He looked so different now—vulnerable in a way you’d never imagined. For a brief moment, you considered leaving him there. It would be poetic, wouldn’t it? Letting him die alone, just like he’d left you to fend for yourself all those years ago.

But you couldn’t do it.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” you said coldly, kneeling beside him. “I’m not doing this for you.

He didn’t respond, too weak to argue. His blood pooled around him, staining the ground a deep crimson. You bit into your hand, drawing your own blood, and then leaned down to press your lips to his wound. The metallic taste filled your mouth as your cursed technique activated, his power flooding into you.

It was overwhelming. For a brief moment, you were the strongest, the infinite possibilities of his Limitless technique unfurling in your mind. You used it to heal his wounds, channeling his power with a precision that surprised even you. When it was done, you pulled away, wiping your mouth as you staggered to your feet.

Gojo sat up slowly, testing his limbs. He looked at you, his expression unreadable.

“You saved me,” he said quietly.

“Don’t read into it,” you snapped. “If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

He frowned, guilt flickering across his face. “Why? After everything I—”

“Don’t,” you interrupted, your voice sharp. “You don’t get to apologize. Not after what you did.”

He fell silent, his usual arrogance nowhere to be found. For once, he looked small, almost fragile.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “I was a fool back then. I didn’t—”

“Stop,” you said, your tone icy. “I don’t want your apology. I don’t need it. Just live with it, Gojo. Live with what you did.”

You turned and walked away, leaving him sitting there, his words hanging in the air. He didn’t try to stop you. He didn’t call after you. He simply watched as you disappeared into the distance, the weight of his guilt settling over him like a shroud.

---

Gojo recovered, but the encounter haunted him. He searched for you, hoping for a chance to make amends, but you were always one step ahead, always out of reach. The guilt of what he had done to you lingered, a constant reminder of his failures. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t fix what he had broken.

You, on the other hand, continued to live on your own terms. Saving him hadn’t changed anything. It hadn’t softened the bitterness in your heart or erased the scars he left behind. You didn’t forgive him, and you didn’t need to.

In the end, the past was a wound neither of you could heal. He was left to carry the weight of his guilt, while you carried the scars of his cruelty.

[brookediamonds]

let your arms invite me, for who knows when we'll meet again this way | Axel Kovačević x Fem! Reader

summary: based off this request

Word count: 3.4k Warnings: mentions of violence, drugs (a little), fluff

gif is not mine

"Do you mind?" You whine, gently shoving your brother away from you as the two of you line up for the captain's photos.

"Can't I be close to you?" Robby teases you moving to wrap an arm around your shoulder making you growl in frustration.

"I'm gonna break your arm, you annoying gremlin," you spat shrugging his arm off. You hear a snort from behind you, making you spare a glance to your right.

The boy who made the noise makes quick eye contact with you before focusing on the camera man ahead of you.

What a cutie

The photographer shoots a few pictures before dismissing the teams. As you make way back towards your group, you see the strongly built boy that stood behind you walk past you, turning his head back to give you one last look before walking out of the building with his teammates.

"Earth to (Y/n)," Robby's hand waves in front of your face making you smack it out of the way.

"I'm listening," you fought pretending to know what he just said when you were actually checking out the tall drink of water that just left.

----------------------------------------------------------

You learn he's apart of The Iron Dragons, a team that is randomly drawn along with Cobra Kai to fight with during Captain's War.

Unfortunately as you were paired up to fight with Tory, your brother is distracted and gets knocked down easily eliminating your team out.

As you and your dojo line up along the mat, you watch as Cobra Kai is dominated by the green team within just a few seconds.

You're unable to hide the impressed expression among your face, his eyes meeting yours across the mat. There's a small smirk playing on his lips when he catches you looking at him.

Breaking eye contact first, you shake off the feeling of intrigue, knowing you needed to focus on what was next.

You luckily win the next event of one-on-one against the Dublin team, and score more points for the team when you win your match during the Bo staff competition.

"Point, (Y/n) Lawrence! Miyagi-Do wins!" The ref holds your hand up signifying your win.

You see the familiar green gi standing across from you, arms crossed as he watched you. You can't read his face very well, but before you can do anything your team envelopes you proud at your accomplishments.

----------------------------------------------------------

After losing one of the events later in the day, your team stood back with the others watching the first match of the platform fight.

It's like clockwork watching The Iron Dragons captain's fight, they were an unbeatable team. A feeling of want bubbles up inside your stomach as the male captain pounds against his chest, yelling proudly they had won their match

"Was this dude made in a lab?" Hawk asks almost disgusted making you frown.

"He's like a mix between the Winter Soldier and Frankenstein's monster," Demetri adds in.

"Don't call him a monster," Sam interjects. "You don't know him or what he deals with."

Your eyes soften at the girl next to you, looking back up at the tall boy on the platform. He glances down at you and sees your soften expression making him look away.

It was time for Miyagi-Do to go against Dublin Thunder.

Your dad suggests the captain's first, you and Robby, starting off strong.

You're able to keep up with other team, again, Robby is distracted and knocked off.

"Think you're so tough? Well I'll show you tough, bitch," a blonde girl challenges you making you scoff. She's quick to come at you, but after learning Sam's defense, you're able to keep up.

"Don't mess with me, bitch," you spat back at her before catching her hands, and jumping up to use both feet to kick her off the platform.

Your other teammates do their best to protect you, and even sacrifice themselves, but almost everyone is gone when Miguel joins you.

There's one guy and the captain from the other team left, evening out the floor.

As you wait for the male captain to come to you, he laughs in your face mocking the fact that, you a girl, thought you could handle him.

Shutting him up, you take the opportunity to kick him in the face, knocking him off the podium immediately making the crowd around you cheer.

Turning to Miguel, he's just sent the last Dublin Thunder member flying back off the platform, the announcer making it known Miyagi-Do had won and was staying another day.

As you and Miguel jumped with excitement, he moved away from you and pretended to bow down to you. You laughed, pushing him away, your team gathering on to the podium with you guys.

Looking for your dad, you spot him sending him the bow of respect which he returned, and sent you a raised fist.

You see the male captain from the Iron Dragons staring at you, so you take the chance and shoot him a playful wink, making his eyes go wide at your bold gesture.

Maybe he was interested, maybe he wasn't, all you knew was, you didn't want to wait too long before you left Barcelona without knowing for sure.

----------------------------------------------------------

After Miguel and your dad receive bad news of Carmen being in the hospital, they take off back to California, leaving a spot open on your team.

"The guys want to go out, are you up for it?" Sam asks as the two of you lay in your beds completely wiped from the day.

You toss in your spot, debating the idea. It could be fun, you could drink, let loose for the night. But you were also exhausted and wanted to lay here for eternity.

"Maybe it'll help Robby loosen up," your friend suggest making you think again.

"True," you agreed. Your brother needed to get his mind off Tory, perhaps dragging him out and having fun could help just a little.

You were your father's daughter after all.

Throwing the covers off your body, you walk over to your suitcase and pull out a cute outfit to wear. You decided on some torn jean shorts, and a red off the shoulder sweater with a white tank top underneath.

"So I kind of saw something earlier," Sam comes to sit next to you as you curled your lashes in the mirror. She wore a guilty expression, her shoulders sunken down.

"What was it?" You inquire giving her your undivided attention. You knew something was eating at her this evening by the way she was silent and watching the tv but not actually paying attention.

She sighs giving you a look of remorse.

"I saw that captain from the Iron Dragons get hit by his sensei," she unloads. "And not like a sparring hit, he full on smacked him repeatedly to prove a point."

You're taken aback at her witnessing, realizing why she was defending him earlier when Hawk and Demetri were so quick to judge him.

"Oh my god," you whisper. "I can't imagine what he goes through back home."

"He looked so helpless, (Y/n), he's this big strong guy out on the mat but inside..." Sam shakes her head not being able to get the image of the scene from earlier out of her head.

You're at a loss for words, knowing what it was like to be beaten for your mistakes. It was a time you didn't like thinking about.

"I'm glad Robby was able to pull you out of Cobra Kai when he did," she says out of thoughtfulness.

"The broken knuckle really did the trick," you say lightly even though the situation was heavy.

Silver and master Kim favored you being Johnny Lawrence's daughter and that came with a territory. It meant going through extraordinary measures so you could be the best.

"Sorry," Sam apologizes seeing your saddened state. "Let's finish getting ready, the boys are waiting."

You smile faintly, turning back to the mirror to finish applying your mascara. As you leaned in towards your reflection, the pink raised scar just above your cheek, below your left eye, suddenly looked so bright reminding you of just a few months ago.

Much like your brother, you spoke your mind and Silver didn't like it. It lead to being backhanded across the face on a few occasions. You were at rock bottom when you smashed your fist into the rock behind master Kim leading you to a broken knuckle.

Concealer only covered the old wound so much, you pretty much left it uncovered because what was the use?

Swiping on the black liquid over your eyelashes, you and Sam finish getting ready while listening to music and waiting for the guys to come by the room.

---------------------------------------------------------

"This is lame," you pouted glumly, twirling your red straw around the rim of your glass of coke. "Should we look for some weed?"

"When the hell have you ever done weed?" Your brother narrows his eyes at you.

“You don’t know me and what I do when I’m not around you,” you provoke the dirty blonde next to you.

Sam looks over at you amused between you and your brother’s banter.

“You would have called me the minute you got stoned, your light weight ass called me after two beers crying because you had the spins,” Robby retorts.

“I don’t recall,” you blink. Standing up from the table, you grab your phone slipping it in your back pocket. “I’m gonna go for a walk, maybe score some crack.”

“Alright cracky, we’ll be here,” your brother says averting his attention to the girl who just sauntered into the bar. It was Tory.

You motion for Sam to call you incase anything happens, to which she nods in agreement.

Trailing down the sidewalk, you see the entrance to the beach making you giddy inside. You loved the sound of the crashing waves, the moon shining over the dark water.

As you walk closer to the water, you see a familiar face practicing a kata routine, sending a wave of nerves through your system. This was your moment.

“Nice moves,” you spoke, slowly approaching the shirtless boy who froze at the sight of you.

“T-Thank you,” he stutters out, his low accent sending butterflies through your stomach. You’d listen to anything he had to say if it meant getting to hear him talk again.

“I’m (Y/n),” you introduce yourself while squatting down to sit on the light grainy surface beneath you.

“Axel,” he responds finally giving you a name to the face. Axel. It was unique. He turns to pick up his shirt and jacket, a trail of bruises lining up along his back making you squeeze your eyes shut.

“Those must hurt,” you say making him stand up straight. “The back takes awhile to heal.”

“From Bo staff competition,” he attempts to graze over the subject avoiding your eyes.

“No they’re not,” you respond softly. “I watched you knock down that kid from Panthre team in three strikes.”

“I- uh- should probably go, I am not supposed to speak to opponent,” Axel attempts to escape the conversation only for you to push back.

Looking around your scenery dramatically, you say, “I don’t see any referees around here.”

Axel can’t help but crack a smile at your silliness, making you feel warm inside.

“You are funny,” he says taking a few steps closer to you.

“Funny enough to make you stay and talk to me?” You purpose glancing up at him with your batting lashes.

He chuckles, taking a seat on the ground next to you.

“My sensei wants me to be the best,” he says referring back to your earlier conversation. “It is because of him, I never lose.”

You watch the ocean water slowly trickle near you, barely missing the tip of your feet by a few inches.

"Discipline doesn't mean abuse your students," you explain lightly. "I used to think getting hit meant I was held to higher standard."

"What does it mean then?" Axel questions curiously. You feel him staring at the side of your face, waiting patiently for your response.

"It means we're their only outlet for control," you answer simply. "And as far as I'm concerned, I'm no one's puppet."

You begin to trace circles in the sand beneath you, aware the boy was still gazing over you.

"Is...Is that how you got this?" He reaches over, gently running his pointer finger over the faded scar below your eye. His touch left tingles on your face.

You nod unable to verbally confirm his suspicion, his hand dropping back to his side.

"The boys back home love it," you joke sarcastically attempting to lighten the mood. Axel gives you a lopsided smile, appreciating your humor somehow being able to mix in with the heavy topic.

"Your male captain, is that your boyfriend?" He asks catching you by surprise. You let out a 'pfft' finding his question absolutely hilarious.

"Absolutely not," you giggled. "He's my brother."

"Oh, makes sense," he laughs with you. You take a moment to look at him, really look at him, and admire his pretty physique.

The way his eyes were light blue like the ocean across from you, but held a shade of sea green in them with a speck of yellow, you could stare into those orbs for a lifetime.

"You have pretty eyes," you say so effortlessly making him do a double take at you. You were so confident, not only with your words, but with the way you carried yourself and the way you go into a fight.

The tip of his nose turns red along with his cheeks, his eyes flickering between you and his shoes.

"Thank you. You are so pretty, it makes me nervous," he admits shyly. Scooting closer to him, you lean your head to lay on his shoulder, and at first he freezes never been in a situation like this before with a girl.

But when he breathes in your floral shampoo, he can't help but let his guard down and relax beneath your position.

"If it's any consolation. I think you're pretty too," you tease him. "I was afraid we'd never talk before this tournament ends."

Axel barks a laugh at your choice of words, 'pretty?' That was new.

"We always seem to find each other," he says glancing down at you. "Tournament, mat..."

You look up at him, his pupils dilated with desire making your heart race. Feeling the tension of intensity between you, you notice his jaw tightening, lips parted slightly.

"The beach," you whisper, your eyes trailing down to his pink lips.

You turned to look at him first, you winked at him, you came up to him, you had the upper hand. He wanted to be the one to initiate the kiss first.

Slowly, deliberately, Axel leans in. His face inches towards yours, and the warmth of his breath hitting you. He hesitates just before your lips meet, your heart feeling like it's going to explode.

You suddenly feel his hand envelop your cheek, his thumb lightly running across the faded scar, letting you know you were safe.

Then, gently, his lips press against yours, tentative at first, as if testing the waters, before deepening the kiss, each movement slow and deliberate, a soft surrender to the moment you've both been waiting for.

You can't help but smile into the kiss, the electrifying and sparkling feeling running through your limbs, you could jump up and sprint circles around the beach because of the spark you felt.

"Wow," Axel breathes out, his mind spinning from the consumption of your lips. You let out a soft chuckle, pressing your forehead to his.

"Indeed," you agreed playfully. It feels like the world around you has ceased to exist and the two of you relinquish in this sweet moment, completely captivated by one another.

You lean in again to reconnect your buzzing lips, never wanting to return to what waited for you beyond the sand.

---------------------------------------------------------

The next day, you're still high on the feeling from last night's interactions with Axel.

"I feel like crap," Robby groaned with his face in his hands as you, Sam, and him ate breakfast together in the hotel buffet.

"I feel great!" You chirped taking a bite out of your piece of bacon.

"Don't yell," he hushed you glaring at your cheerful state. You roll your eyes, reaching into your jean pocket to pull out two pills of Aleve, smacking them down on the table for your hungover brother.

"I didn't even hear you come in last night," Sam says her blue eyes averting to yours as she took a sip of her orange juice.

Glancing down at your plate, you began to cut up your waffles trying to come up with an excuse. You knew you could tell Sam with no judgment, but your brother on the other hand...

"Well you know when I go on a beach, my shell hunting instincts kick in and once I get started on that," you smoothly respond.

Your curly hair friend nods knowing you loved your shells, and that in fact is a whole ordeal.

"I'm pretty full," you say after finishing off your glass of milk. "I'll meet you back in the room."

Robby is taking the medication, shuddering at the gulp he takes.

"So much for being a light weight," you jab at him.

"Whatever, weirdo," he shakes his head beginning to dig into his scrambled eggs.

You roll your eyes and grab your plate to place in a trash bin, and head back to the elevators. As you opened your phone feed to scroll through your latest feed, you're suddenly pulled away from your trail, causing you to yelp.

Axel tugged you in close to his chest, tucking you two into a secluded corner.

"Good morning to you too," you grin widely, laying your hands against his firm chest. He's gazing down at you no longer feeling vulnerable, but comfortable with you.

"Morning," he hums nuzzling his nose against yours sending your heart fluttering. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your old wound upon your cheek first, then grazes his lips with your own.

"I have not stopped thinking about you," Axel murmurs against your mouth making your heart feel full.

"What the hell?"

You whip your head around seeing your brother standing a few feet away from you, staring back at you in disbelief.

"Robby, please," you scoff letting go of the boy you were holding on to.

"You're kidding me right?" The green eyed boy motions to the slavic boy behind you. "He's our biggest rival, you can't be with the competition."

Your jaw fell open at the hypocrisy his advice, making your blood boil.

"Back off Robby, you don't want to go there," you threaten him.

"No, let's go," he says reaching out for your hand, practically taking your arm off. Axel is quick to grab your other free hand, pulling you back towards him.

"Let go of me!" You shout planting your feet in place making both boys release their grip from you.

"Not you," you glance back at the boy you were kissing a minute ago, holding your hand out for him which he takes immediately. Robby rubs a hand over his face letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I don't know what your deal is, but get it together," you seethe almost embarrassed at the whole situation at hand. You'd be lucky if Axel gave you a second look after this.

Your brother glares up at Axel, flaring his nostrils, and making a fist with both hands.

"If I find out you're messing with her, or playing some kind of cruel joke just for the benefit of this tournament," Robby inches closer to quiet boy next to you, his voice lowering to a threatening tone. "I will beat your ass into the ground."

"Jesus, Robby," you mutter feeling the flush creeping up your neck as Axel shifts uncomfortably beside you, clearly caught off guard by Robby’s sudden outburst.

You give him a quick, apologetic glance before turning back to your brother, your voice softer but still trying to get through to him. "I’m fine, okay?"

Your sibling nods, gazing over at Axel one last time before walking off into the opposite direction.

"I am so sorry," you sputter out profusely. "He's going through something right now and-"

"It is okay," Axel reassures you, placing his hands on your shoulder. "He is protecting you."

"He's annoying," you give him a sarcastic smile making him chuckle. He runs his hands down your arms, lacing his fingers through yours.

"I am on my way to get some breakfast, care to join me?" He asks thoughtfully. Even though you were full on waffles and bacon, you weren't gonna pass up the opportunity to spend more time with him.

After all, there was a fruit and açaí bar you skipped out on.

"I'd love to," you smile up at him. Stepping on your tippy toes, you stretch your neck up and press your lips to his tenderly.

You didn't know where this was going, or what it may lead to, but you could enjoy this time with this beautiful boy for now.

---------------------------------------------------------

(a/n: MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄hope y'all are enjoying your holidays, sorry this was kind of long. Next thing I write will be a non-request, can't wait for you all to read it!)

[glowettee]

Study Like an It Girl: Paris Geller Energy 📚✨

If there’s one fictional character who embodies the ultimate study grind, it’s Paris Geller from Gilmore Girls. Her level of ambition? Unmatched. Her drive? Relentless. And while her methods might sometimes verge on chaotic (okay, very chaotic), there’s so much we can learn from her approach to academics. I'm gonna break down how you can channel that Paris Geller energy while keeping your sanity intact. 🌸✨ (hopefully...)

1. Set Clear Goals (Be as Extra as Paris)

Paris didn’t just want to do well; she wanted to be the best. While you don’t have to make your life a competition, having clear, specific goals can give you direction. Instead of saying, “I want to study more,” try:

“I want to get an A on my next chemistry test.”

“I’ll complete three hours of focused study for math every weeknight.” Specificity helps you stay on track and keeps your energy focused on the right tasks.

💡 It Girl Tip: Create a vision board for your goals, Paris-style. Include dream colleges, career aspirations, or anything else that fuels your ambition. Keep it somewhere you can see it every day—manifestation meets motivation. (digital or IRL is good, USE PINTEREST!)

2. Romanticize Your Study Environment

Let’s be honest: Paris wouldn’t study in a messy, uninspiring room. Your study space should feel like an aesthetic haven. Think:

A tidy desk with your favorite stationery ✏️

Soft lighting (fairy lights or a warm desk lamp) 🌟

A pastel mug filled with tea or coffee ☕

Background music (try classical, K-Pop or lo-fi playlists for the ultimate vibe) 🎶

You’re the main character of your life!!

3. Be Aggressively Overprepared, But Aesthetically So

Paris Geller never walked into a study session without knowing everything. Her energy was all about overachieving to the point of intimidating her competition. You don’t need the rivalry, but you do need the prep.

It Girl Twist: Gather extra resources and organize them beautifully. Think color-coded binders, pastel-highlighted textbooks, and aesthetic digital flashcards.

Why It Works: When you know more than what’s required, it builds confidence. That’s Paris power.

💡 Mindy Says: “Overprepared = unbothered queen vibes. Let your notes be so cute they could double as Pinterest posts.”

4. Master Controlled Chaos

Paris’s intensity could sometimes spiral into chaos, but she always managed to pull through. Instead of avoiding stress, embrace it as a sign you’re pushing yourself—and learn to channel it constructively.

It Girl Twist: When you’re overwhelmed, do a quick brain dump into a journal or planner. Write down every single task, no matter how small. Then organize it into bite-sized chunks.

Why It Works: Getting everything out of your head and onto paper clears your mind and gives you control.

💡 Mindy Says: “Your chaos is part of the process, babe. Just make it chic— glittery gel pens and mood-boosting playlists.”

5. Develop an Intimidation-Level Vocabulary

Remember when Paris dropped SAT words like confetti? It wasn’t just for show; she knew that language was power. Building your vocabulary can make you feel (and sound) unstoppable.

It Girl Twist: Learn one new “power word” a day and slip it into casual conversations or captions. Bonus points if it’s super niche and makes you feel like a literary goddess.

Why It Works: Knowledge isn’t just for exams—it’s for life. Plus, it’s fun to impress people with words they have to Google.

💡 Mindy Says: “An eloquent queen is a glowing queen. Vocabulary flexing is the new subtle flex.”

6. Treat Every Day Like It’s a Debate Prep Day

Paris’s debate skills were unmatched because she thought critically about everything. Adopting her mindset means questioning the world around you and staying curious.

It Girl Twist: Pick one topic you’re passionate about and research the heck out of it. Pretend you’re preparing to debate Paris herself (but in a cute, less intimidating way).

Why It Works: Critical thinking is a muscle—flex it daily. It’s also a low-key way to keep studying exciting.

💡 Mindy Says: “Be curious. Be informed. Be iconic. Channel your inner Paris and make intellectual sass your superpower.”

5. Take Pride in Your Ambition—Unapologetically

Paris never dimmed her ambition, even when people found it “too much.” Embrace that energy and stop apologizing for wanting more—if it’s higher grades, dream schools, or a future as the CEO of your life embrace it!

It Girl Twist: Write a “brag list” every week. Note down everything you’ve accomplished, big or small, and let yourself feel proud of it.

Why It Works: Celebrating your wins keeps you motivated and reminds you that your hard work is paying off.

💡 Mindy Says: “Being ambitious isn’t extra—it’s iconic. You’re not ‘too much,’ babe. You’re just enough to glow brighter than everyone else.”

✨ Final Thoughts:

I hoped you girlies loved this blog post. I wanted to try a different style. If you all noticed the "Mindy Quotes" they're all words by me! I'm Mindy/Glowettee! I wanted to give you personal words of encouragement! Love you all!

[thequeenofsastiel]

Well that episode was QUITE the emotional roller-coaster and broke my heart into tiny tiny pieces. This is the first ep in which I started to genuinely think that Kant had feelings for Bison. The LOOK on his face when he saw Bison felt like an entirely real emotion. I loved it, even though it hurt me.

Jfc, the fact that it took finding out that Style was betraying him for Fadel to fully admit his true feelings about Style was fucking heartbreaking. Because Fadel was just faced with the idea that Style's affection for him at no point was real. That Style had been faking it the whole time. And the worst part is that Style was ABSOLUTELY faking it at first. Sure, he found Fadel attractive, but he didn't actually like him. He harassed him and tried to win his heart for a goddamn car. He never would have tried to date Fadel on his own. Sure, I think he definitely did eventually fall for Fadel, but it was indeed an act at first. Fadel doesn't know the real reason why, but he does know that it was at some point an act, he just doesn't actually know for how long. And neither he nor Bison have any reason to believe that Style or Kant had genuine feelings for them. But they did. It was simply that those feelings weren't strong enough to risk getting in trouble with the law themselves, which is ENTIRELY understandable.

I'm very interested to see where they go from here and how Style and Kant prove that their feelings actually were real at the end. I imagine it'll take them sacrificing themselves in some way for Fadel and Bison. I'm not sure. They were just so good at pretending that they weren't betraying Fadel and Bison. I can't imagine what Style could do that would ever make Fadel trust him entirely, nor Kant. Anyone have any ideas?

10/10

[merlincmgirl]

Oral - 212th x FReader - NSFW

Summary: Looking after your men in the 212th is a top priority, and after the stress of everything becomes too much, they offer to help you unwind.

Characters: Cody, Waxer, Boil, Wooley, Helix, Crys

Pairing: 212th x F!Reader

Word Count: 12,308

Warnings: , oral (female & male receiving), face riding, rimming, cock-warming, group sex, aftercare, angst, fluff, smut,

Author's Note: Happy Holidays! It's a Christmas miracle! I will have finally finished the Kinktober Challenge I set myself tomorrow. It's been a difficult few months, but I'm so proud of myself for doing this.

"I don't kriffing believe this! Get out of my medbay trooper if you know what's good for you!" You snarled, pointing to the door as you pinched the bridge of your nose. Somehow today it seemed like the shinies were taking it as their personal mission to piss you off. It was the 5th shiny today that had come in with something so minor it could have been treated by themselves. It just added to the stress you had been under lately.

"Technically it's my medbay" a rough tone grumbled from behind you.

You spun around, sending Helix a contrite look. "Technically they're your brothers but they seem to enjoy annoying me more!" You snapped back at him.

Helix raised an eyebrow, not used to you snapping at him or the short temper that had gotten spectacularly shorter as the week had progressed.

"Alright civvie, want to tell me what's wrong?" He offered, coming over to help you clean away the supplies you had used to treat a trooper's burn from a spark down in engineering.

"I'm fine. Just your brothers seem to be coming in today with the most ridiculous injuries that a womp rat could treat. You know, one shiny came in with a bruise on his arm. A bruise! That can be treated with the bacta you all carry in your belts!" You ranted, bungling up the scratchy paper that lined the examination bed.

Helix didn't say anything, agreeing that today seemed to be full of ridiculous vods coming in with superficial injuries. It was their 9th day in hyperspace travelling to the next battle, they were becoming restless and bored, having little to entertain them during the long hours in hyperspace. He could understand the frustration you had but not the intensity of your reaction. You were always the kindest of all his medics, the one that troopers rushed to instead of him because at least you'd soften the blow with a comforting word rather than the insults and hypos that he himself liked to use.

"They've just got a bit of cabin fever. It'll change once we reach the next planet" Helix remarked, careful to appear like he was clearing things away and not that he was side eyeing you from where he was standing.

Huffing, you rolled your eyes – Helix was genuinely concerned you'd burst a blood vessel at that intensity – and let out a short laugh. "Then what? It's just the same thing over and over. You boys get thrown into battle, I have to patch you up, see my friends die when I could save them and then just pretend nothing has happened and start again. And deal with your idiotic brothers when they get hurt from doing something stupid!"

"If it wasn't for this war, we wouldn't have been created, civvie" Helix stated, frown settling on his face. The clones had mixed emotions about the war, without it, they wouldn't have been created. But if they hadn't, then there would be no one to stop the Seppies and protect people from their rule.

"I know, doesn't mean I have to like it" you sighed, rubbing at your tired, strained eyes and slumping against the bed.

"When was the last time you slept?" Helix asked, voice already taking on an accusing edge that set your hackles up.

"I don't know, I've been busy" you huffed, forcing yourself back onto your feet to prepare the tray for the next patient that walked in.

The CMO sent you a stunningly unimpressed look, making sure you caught how he looked around the practically empty med bay. If you weren't so annoyed, you'd be impressed. "Yes, I can see that" he drawled, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Anyway, how is it your business?" You grumbled, brow furrowing as your hands shook. From how exhausted you were or the stress, you didn't know, but you clenched them tightly to keep them steady.

"The welfare of the men and the whole crew of the Negotiator is my business. Including you" he reminded, crossing his arms and giving up pretending to help now. Something was obviously going on with you. "Have you spoken to Cody about this?" He asked softly, voice lowering, even though there was nobody around to listen in.

You scoffed bitterly, sending Helix a withering look. "You mean when I pass him in the halls, or the two minutes he has to call me. Yeah, of course it comes up" you snapped, anger glaring through you all of a sudden. You didn't know why you were so mad. Either you were mad at Cody for barely saying a few words to you in the last few days or you were mad at yourself for being angry at Cody because he was just busy doing his job.

Shocked at your reaction, Helix placed a steadying hand on your shoulder and you slumped, feeling the fight leave you. "Why don't you go and grab some food from mess and get some sleep? I can hold everything down here until you come back" he suggested, already cutting off your protests before they could start.

"Fine, but I'm not happy about this. I can work just as well as anybody else on this ship!" you said sharply, grabbing your data pad off the desk. Maybe you could file some paperwork in your quarters for a bit before hopefully falling asleep.

"I know that civvie! Now get out of my medbay until you've had at least 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep!" Helix ordered, crossing his arms and sending you on your way.

Helix frowned, watching your form disappear through the medbay doors, wondering how he could help you. It was no surprise that Cody’s riddur was feeling the stress of spending so little time with her Commander. Their deployment had seen the 212th face battle, after battle after battle. And that meant many more troopers coming into the medbay with a variety of injuries. Some you could save, others you couldn’t. He was no stranger to exhaustion and stress after seeing so many of his vode die, no matter how much those damned long necks tried to erase it out of them.

Resolving to talk to Cody about this, he knew something had to be done. He cared about you, and he dared to count you as a friend. So he would try and help you deal with the stress and anger that was bubbling up inside of you.

Here he was, standing outside the door of his commanding officer hoping to talk to him about his girl. What he did for his brothers!

"Commander" Helix greeted, stepping into the Marshal Commander's office and saluting him.

"Helix, everything alright? Obi-wan hasn't escaped again, has he?" Cody teased, sending him a small exhausted grin as he went through a stack of data pads.

"Not that I'm aware of. But thankfully, he can't get into too much trouble while in hyperspace" Helix rolled his eyes, glad that he wasn't dealing with the Jedi nonsense at the moment. "However we have a different problem" he informed his Commander, shoulders stiffening.

Cody frowned, wondering what had caused his brother to become so tense. "Take a seat" he nodded, glancing at the chair in front of his desk. He noticed that he kept his posture straight, his shoulders tense and a worried frown was painted over his face. "What's the problem?" Cody asked, ready to put out this fire as well as the 20 others on his desk. He really needed to get back to the 18th Battalion to discuss their potential new attack formation.

"It's about your girl and my fellow medic" Helix stated, raising an eyebrow at his brother.

Cody's mind instantly came to a stand still. What was wrong? Was you hurt? Had something happened to you? Had one of his brothers upset you? The endless list of what could have gone wrong poured through his head.

"What's wrong with her?" Cody demanded, feeling his insides churn in worry.

"She's not doing too good. She's snapping at everyone, she made a shiny cry this morning and has been a menace in my medbay" Helix reported, crossing his arms and sending Cody a stern look.

"That doesn't sound like her at all. She's normally the one everyone goes to if they had a choice between you and her" Cody murmured, making Helix roll his eyes. "I've noticed she's become a lot quieter and snappy with me. But I never thought she'd act like this around others" Cody admitted, shaking his head.

"She's not sleeping well, hasn't been eating well either. The last few campaigns have been rough, we've lost a lot of men" Helix stated, although he didn't need to remind Cody of that. The Commander spent most of his days reading casualty reports for the 212th and other battalions. He knew exactly how many men were lost in battle.

Cody sighed heavily, leaning back into his padded office chair. Obi-Wan had insisted that they replaced his old one. Citing how long they both had to do paperwork, they should at least have somewhere comfortable to sit. He was glad of it now as he thought about what to do in this situation.

"Thinks we'll replace her because she's not been bred to deal with all this" Helix added.

Cody scoffed, bitterness curling in his stomach as he thought back to Kamino. "We still get affected by it. Of course we wouldn't replace her for caring" he muttered, shaking his head. "What am I going to do with my cyare?" He sighed heavily, running a hand through his tight curls.

"Try talking to her di'kut!" Helix grumbled, making Cody's head snap up. "I've sent her away to bed and to get something to eat, but it's you that she's missing! Almost snapped my head off when I asked about you. So you need to talk to her so we can find a way to help her relax and de-stress before our upcoming campaign, otherwise I'm signing her off for burnout" Helix ordered, looking at his brother sternly and leaving no room for arguments.

That was one of the first things that Cody had learned. Never mess with a medic. Their oath only covered so far and they were more than prepared to stun you if it meant you would let them do their jobs.

There was a way to help you de-stress and it was something you had both discussed before. It may help you feel better about everything, but he did want to talk to you first. Something was obviously on your mind, and he hadn't been around to help you and support you through it. This campaign had took a lot of his time and efforts up, but that was no excuse. He would have to do better when reaching out to you and communicating during these hectic times.

Resolved to sort this out in one way or another, he nodded, plan of action already forming. He would set everything up and then you and he could have a talk before you either agreed to go ahead with his plan or wished to just quietly sort everything out with him. Either way, he was prepared.

Cody nodded once more about his decision, he had become more and more concerned about you as well. If even his officers were bringing it to his attention then something had to be done. “Agreed. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. Bring all available Ghost officers to room 1104 at 2100 hours” Cody instructed, typing away on his vambrace.

“Yes Commander” Helix saluted him and went to follow Cody’s instructions. Secure in the knowledge that Cody had got this handled.

When Cody managed to wrangle everything for the day, he found you in your rooms. As the door closed behind him, you barely looked away from the pot you were stirring in your small kitchenette.

“Hey sweetheart, what you doing?” he greeted, beginning to strip off his armour and place it next to the door.

“Hmm, just cooking dinner. Hungry?” you murmured, eyes unseeing of your dinner. You couldn’t help but think of all the work that was no doubt starting to pile onto your desk. There was the annual check-ups due soon for every trooper aboard the Negotiator, and it took a bit of time to prepare and order the supplies needed to vaccinate everyone.

“Smells delicious” he remarked, before coming over behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing himself against your back. He sighed in relief, soaking in your scent and relaxing presence. “And I’m always hungry, cyare. Ravenous” he tried to joke, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Good” you replied, side stepping out of his arms and busying yourself with preparing the side dish.

Cody frowned, watching as your shoulders seemed to rise, tension spread across them and the short jerky movements you were doing. Helix had been right. You were a lot more stressed than he realised. He was already thinking up ways on how to approach you when he heard your sniffle and the way you seemed to sink further into yourself.

Unable to take watching you cry and be upset, Cody instantly rushed back over to you, resting his hand on your shoulder. He was shocked when you pushed him away, flinching under his hand and stepping back. You had never done that to him before.

“Love, what’s wrong?” Cody asked, wanting to bring you into his arms to hold you and comfort you. But he knew it wouldn’t work, it would be detrimental to him finding out what was going on with you and talking about it.

“Nothing, I’m fine” you huffed, wiping away the tears and refusing to look at him. You didn’t want to see if he was angry with you, or upset. You just wanted to cry and be left alone.

“Talk to me, everyone can see how stressed you are. I’m here for you, I want to be here for you if you’d let me” Cody said softly, his voice reassuring and calm.

Admittedly it did help soothe your nerves for a moment, knowing he wasn’t angry but concerned about your behaviour. But the rush of sudden anger had words flying out of your mouth before you could even think about stopping them, as you spun around and glared at him.

“Here for me? When? When you remember that I exist? Or when you want someone to fuck?” you snapped at him, tears streaming down your face. It did nothing to hide the flash of hurt that crossed over Cody’s face at your words.

“Mesh’la, that’s not fair. It has been one thing after another trying to prepare for this battle. It’s not an excuse, but my time has been taken up by those preparations. I promise, you were on my mind during all of this. You never leave my mind, mesh’la” he admitted, taking a step closer to you and reaching out for your hand. He sighed in relief when you didn’t pull away from him. “Before we were lovers, we were friends. I want to know when you’re hurting, I want to know when you’re stressed, I want to know you, sweetheart. Is that so impossible to believe?” he breathed, looking into your teary eyes.

“Yes” you muttered, hand coming up to swipe at your tears. But he was right, you had been friends before and your words wasn’t fair to him. You knew before you started dating him that Cody was an important and busy man. He was second in command of the 3rd System Army, many people depended on him. He provided a lot of advice and strategies to the companies under him. He wasn’t always going to be able to be with you, or even talk to you some days. You just didn’t know why you were taking it this hard.

“Pretty girl, you have always been my light shining in the darkness. You see me as Cody, not as Marshal Commander or a man who shares his face with a million others. You see me, and for a clone, that is special enough. You are special” he admitted, before shaking his head ruefully. “I don’t- I don’t know how to explain just how much I love you. But when I see you hurting – like you are now – that kills me, mesh’la. I want to help, please let me” Cody begged, squeezing your hand.

Gulping back tears and feeling like you had a rock in your throat, you stepped forward into his embrace, sinking into his chest and relaxing against him. “I love you too… I’m sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t really mean it” you apologised, burying your face into his blacks, letting the tears soak through the material.

Cody wrapped his arms around you, one around your waist keeping you against him, and the other combing through your hair. Already he could feel the tension leaking out of your exhausted body. “I know love, I know. You’re hurting at the moment and that makes people lash out. Besides, I’ve heard and felt worse. Remind me to tell you of the time Fox beat me in hand to hand training one of the days” he assured, smiling into your hair and feeling your shuddering breaths ease.

“I’ll hold you to that, Commander” you chuckled weakly before sighing and scrubbing at your tear streaked face. “I just… I don’t know why it’s so hard now. I know that you were designed for war but it just hurts to know that you’ve never had a life outside of war, and pain, and hate. Some of your brothers don’t ever get to experience the world, they’re killed before they can. And I… I can’t tell anyone because then I’ll be reassigned because I can’t take the stress and then I’d have to leave you and I-” you panicked, chest becoming tighter now with every word you said.

“Breathe. You need to breathe” Cody interrupted, pressing his lips against yours in a chaste kiss to help restart your breathing.

“I guess I got lost in my own head and began overthinking” you sighed, taking in deep breaths and holding Cody to your tighter. “I’m scared I’m going to lose you. Be it in battle or something else. I just… I- I just feel so useless, this war takes too much from us and it just got to me” you explained, shrugging helplessly against him. It was the best you could do, words becoming lost and your thoughts muddled as you tried to find a reason for the way you had been behaving this week.

“That’s okay mesh’la, whatever happens, you’ll have me. I’m not going anywhere” he assured, rubbing up and down your back. “Besides, you’re not the only one who commiserates our upbringing. The Jedi hate it too, but our lives on Kamino, don’t think it was full of hate. Yes the trainers and the long-necks were terrible to us but… we had each other. We experienced love and affection from our vods, from our batch mates. We may not have experienced the world like you wish us too, but we made do. Just… you can’t take it all on by yourself, love. These decisions and events were outside of your control” he reminded, kissing your temple.

“I’m glad you had your vode” you smiled softly, thinking about the rest of his brothers that you treated, as well as the millions that were spread out across the galaxy. It was nice to think that even if they didn’t a traditional upbringing, they at least had each other.

“Ugh, too many to know what to do with” he grunted, making you giggle. He really did sound like an exasperated older brother. But he wouldn’t change it for the world. He rested his head against yours and closed his eyes. “Thank you for caring about me and my vode. Especially when the galaxy is turning against us” he breathed, soaking in the way your breath fluttered against his face.

“Always Cody, you and your vode… you didn’t have a choice in all this and whatever happens, I’ll take care of you and your vode. I’ll fight the Senate if I have to” you vowed, making him chuckle.

“Oh I don’t doubt that cyare, I know from experience just how ferocious medics are – especially you” he teased, cupping your face and pulling away from you slightly. “But you need to be cared for and taken care of as well. Do you remember what we’ve spoken about before, when we were suggesting new things to try out together? The one about Ghost Company?” he prompted, thumb stroking across your cheek.

You froze, mind recalling that conversation perfectly. Cody and you had been discussing fantasies and kinks, determined to know more about each other and what you both liked. It had been a spur of the moment suggestion that Cody had liked as well. To be shared amongst Ghost Company while Cody took care of you. He would supervise everything while you could sink into the pleasure and not have to think about anything.

“I remember” you nodded, words falling carefully out of your mouth as you glanced up into his dark brown orbs. You wondered where exactly this was going.

“Would you feel up to it if me and the boys helped you relax and take care of you?” Cody inquired, squeezing your hip and letting you think things through. He had seen just how burnt out you had gotten recently, and he wanted to help you find relief in a number of ways. And his brothers felt the same, they’d all noticed how stressed you had gotten and wanted to help make you feel better. But it was and always would be your decision.

Honestly, the thought of Ghost Company sharing you and making you feel good excited you, and you could already feel your heart start to race at the suggestion. The men in that company was all loyal and brave men, you had close friendships with all of the officers. Would it affect the way they treated you? Would it be awkward when you all had to return back to work? Why would they want to help you out? Were they doing it just because their Marshal Commander asked it of them?

“Why would they want to do that with me?” you frowned, shaking your head at the thought. It seemed impossible to think that Ghost Company would want you.

“Mesh’la! You are an extraordinary person” Cody chided, brow furrowing at the way you spoke about yourself. “And my brothers have also noticed a change in you and were worried. I promise, they want to make you feel better, to make you feel good about yourself and help relieve some of that stress” he assured, cupping your cheek and making sure your beautiful eyes met his own. “I promise I’ll be right there if you want me to be. Nothing is going to harm you” he explained with a wry smile before he turned deadly serious. Cody never went back on his word, if he promised something then it would happen.

Kriff! This wasn’t something you could turn down. Or want to turn down for that matter. Taking the bantha by the horns, you made the decision.

“Yeah… yeah I want that. I want them to help me” you admitted, taking a deep breath in as you heard the words come out of your mouth. It was a bit surprising but also exciting at the same time. They were all incredibly attractive men. Who wouldn’t want them all to help you feel more relaxed. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” you asked, knowing you would need to check in with Cody. He had to agree to this as well.

Cody’s cheeks reddened and he looked away for a moment before turning back to you with a small, abashed grin. “Yeah, I’m good with this. I can’t wait to see how beautiful you look with my brothers” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Chuckling at his eagerness, you wrapped your arms around his waist once more and hugged him tightly, taking in his reassuring scent and warm embrace. “And it hits your sharing kink as well” you teased, pressing a kiss to his pec.

“Ugh, I forgot I told you about that” he groaned, shaking his head as he tightened his hold of you, rocking you in his arms as he nuzzled into you. “But, we do still need to talk about what has you feeling like this, cyare. We need to get to the root of this problem” Cody reminded, feeling you stiffen slightly in his arms. It was obviously a conversation you didn’t want to have with him.

“Do we have to? I was cooking dinner” you grumbled, glancing back at the stove that was still on.

Cody shook his head, giving a tutting noise before turning it off and not allowing you to hide away from this. It was starting to affect your health and the way you were behaving. He couldn’t just ignore that. Both as your partner and as your Commanding Officer.

"Come on, let's lie down for a moment, dinner can wait" he murmured, guiding you over to your bed and pulling you down with him. He arranged you so you were lying on his chest, his hands wrapped around you as he held you close. Your head rested above his heart, the steady thrum enough to calm any of your nerves.

"You know, mesh’la, if you ever need to talk to anyone who's not me, I'm sure the General wouldn't mind listening to you. Or I can ask Helix if he knows anyone that would help" Cody suggested lightly, feeling the way you were beginning to relax into his arms. He knew from experience that it might be easier to talk to someone that you weren’t close to, or someone who had no interest in anything but your own emotions and how they related to the situation.

You pulled a face, shaking your head at the thought of talking to the General, or even Helix! No, it wasn’t something you felt like you could share with them. Not when they had so much authority to send you away. Besides, you were well aware of the benefits of therapy and talking to someone, you’d done it before. "I already tried that... I spoke to my mentor from medical school a few days ago. Asked him how he coped dealing with death everyday. Do you know what he said? Do you know what he said?” you admitted, voice breaking as you thought about your last conversation with your mentor. It had been enough to show you what a despicable person he was.

“What mesh’la? What did he say?” Cody frowned, knowing it couldn’t be anything good as he felt the way your breath hitched in your chest, the way you tensed up and the way your voice broke as you were talking.

“He said once you've cut into one clone you've cut into them all. You don't need to practice on any more” you cried, horror at hearing those words come from your mentor. He had always been someone you respected and listened to. He had been a great source of advice, but the way he viewed clones had you pulling away, disgusted with him.

“He is right about that, cyare” Cody sighed.

It wasn’t the worst thing he had ever heard about the clones, and it was fact that they all shared the same body. It was why organ donation was so easy with clones, there was an endless supply of spare parts if the medics needed them. It was awful to think about, but it was something they had always been made aware of. Even in death you still served the Republic.

“No he's not! You're all individuals! Every single one of you and... every time I lose one of your brothers... that's another individual lost. And it's my fault, I should be able to do more!" You sobbed, clutching onto his blacks as the tears began to roll down your cheeks. The immense guilt you felt that you couldn’t do more to help them was becoming overwhelming.

"Its not your fault sweetheart, it's the Seppies. You do everything you can to save my brothers and you care for them. You see us as people, other people will always see us as mindless meat droids and cannon fodder. But you have to take a step back love, I know it's painful but we lose men, brothers, but we remember them as they go marching on. And that is just as important. So if you remember them in your heart, but continue to fight for your brothers, then that is honouring them in a way they would want" Cody explained, shushing your cries as he kissed the crown if your head. His hands ran through your hair, and up and down your back. This was what you needed, the catharsis of release, to let all these emotions out.

"I-I wish I could save all of you. I wished their stupid war didn't exist and I wish we could just stay like this forever" you muttered, voice breaking as you buried your face further into his neck. You just wanted to hide from the world a little.

"Well, I'm good for one of those wishes, and I'm working on the other one, but the first one, that's impossible cyare. You have to learn to accept it some way or another" Cody smiled, holding you tight to his chest.

"I know, I'm trying it's just... it's just hard" you sighed, hiccuping a little as the tears started to dry up.

"It is. Almost as hard as taking care of yourself. Helix told me he sent you to get food and have a nap. So, how about I finish up dinner and you catch up on sleep? We're meeting the boys at 2100 if you feel up to it" Cody suggested, kissing your forehead once more before sliding you off his front and to the side.

"Okay, just make sure you don't burn it" you smiled, catching his hand as he got up. He shot you a surprised look that quickly turned into adoration as you kissed his knuckles. "Best get as much sleep as I can ready for tonight" you teased, excitement and nervous energy flashing through you.

"Everything is going to be fine, love. I'll have dinner ready for when you wake up. Not burnt either!" he added, squeezing your fingers before heading towards the little kitchenette in your rooms.

After dinner, you showered and got yourself ready to meet the rest of Ghost Company. You had no idea where you were meeting them, so you followed Cody's lead, letting him direct you to where you needed to go.

When he stopped outside of a nondescript, normal looking bunk room, you couldn't help but let out a little gasp. This was it. This was where one of your fantasies were about to become real.

Cody's hand came to grip your elbow, angling you towards him. His face was so sincere and soft that you wanted to pull him into your arms and never let go. "Are you sure about this, cyare? We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I wont be angry or upset, I just want to make sure you're feeling good" he reminded, thumb brushing against your skin.

"I'm sure, I know you'll look after me while the boys will make me feel good" you nodded, smiling at him in reassurance.

Taking a deep breath, Cody opened the door for you, letting you take the first step in before he followed behind you and locked the door.

As you stepped into the room, you were greeted by members of Ghost Company. Those that weren't on duty that is. Crys was leaning against the table, Wooley sitting on it next to him, Boil and Waxer was nearby, pressed close together and sending you heated looks. Helix meanwhile was giving you a once over, obviously checking to see if you'd followed his instructions.

"You're looking a lot better since I last saw you" Helix commented, voice all rough and brash but you could hear the concern underneath it.

"Wow, real smooth talker you are, Helix!" Wooley drawled, shaking his head at the medic.

Unable to help the small giggle that escaped you, you rolled your eyes at Helix, more than used to his behaviour. "Don't worry, I'm feeling a lot better since you set Cody on me" you assured.

Warm hands settled on your waist, and you leaned into your Commander. He nuzzled into your neck, leaving a soft peck there before he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"Everyone has noticed how tense and stressed you've been recently, cyare. So they were more than happy when they got the call to come help you relax" Cody explained, glancing at his eager brothers.

You felt yourself face flush, you didn't realise that it had been so obvious to everyone that you were struggling. You thought you had hidden it rather well. But being on a ship in such close quarters, no doubt people noticed the small things and the little changes within you.

"Yeah, mesh'la. We just want to help you relax, feel good again" Waxer agreed, a playfully grin on his face. No doubt all the boys were just as excited as you with what was going to happen. But knowing your love just as well as you did, you knew that tonight had some stipulations.

“Okay, are there any rules for tonight?” you asked, turning to Cody as he pulled away to slip off his armour.

"Only a couple, mesh'la, and you can change them if you want to" he assured, unclipping everything until he was just in his blacks. The orange and white plastoid was stacked and laid in a neat pile at the edge of the room. Cody nodded at his brothers to do the same. He wanted you to be as comfortable as possible, and that meant the armour had to go.

"Let's hear them then" you breathed, as you felt butterflies in your stomach as you glanced up at Ghost company.

“Nobody is going to be using your pussy tonight mesh’la, except me. They’re all going to be using their mouths and fingers on you, and you can be as loud as you want. This room is soundproof and hardly anyone comes in” Cody explained, and the other clones surrounding you didn’t seem too surprised at those rules. They were probably informed about this before they had turned up tonight. “Is that okay with you?” he checked in, rubbing soothingly at your side.

“Yeah, that sounds good to me” you agreed, smiling up at him as he leaned forward to give you a kiss.

"Good. Just let us take care of you, cyare" he murmured, lips brushing against yours softly. His hand crept up to the back of your neck, keeping you pressed against him as he took control of the kiss. He gently licked at the crease of your mouth, and you could do nothing but let him in with a small groan. His hands kneaded your neck while his lips parted yours, pushing his tongue to slide against your own.

Cody always could make you forget everything with just his mouth. Be it through kisses, or using those talented lips and tongue to make you scream, he had an ability to make the whole world around you disappear. So when you felt hands land on your waist, your shoulders, your arms, you startled just for a moment before sinking into their touches.

Cody's large, warm hands cupped your cheeks, pressing small teasing kisses over your lips until you had to push him away for air. Panting, you rested your foreheads together as the hands worked to undress you, sliding and unbuttoning your clothes until you stood naked before them. You would have shivered from the cold air around you, but they all burned hotter than a furnace, the press of their bodies keeping you nice and toasty.

“You’ve been so stressed lately, mesh’la. You don’t even have to do anything, just be a set of holes ready and wet for us, okay?” Boil's grumpy voice murmured from your side, his hot breath caressing your neck before he pressed a kiss there.

"The boys know your safe word and your safe action if you can't speak. Ready?" Cody reminded, brushing his nose against your heated cheek.

You gave him a short hum in confirmation. You wanted this. You didn't need to be asked again.

“On your knees” Cody instructed, pecking your lips once more before guiding you with his hand in your hair down in front of him and his brothers.

“You look so pretty on your knees for us mesh’la” Waxer praised, running gentle fingers over the curve of your jaw once you had settled before them. He let out a quiet cooing noise as you rubbed against the tender gesture.

You looked around you at the impressive men that had caged you in. All of them supporting impressive tents in their blacks. You couldn't help but lick your lips, thinking about tasting them, feeling the weight of them on your tongue. Crys groaned, hand coming to press against his bulge at the sinful look crossed your face.

Calloused fingertips hooked under your chin, pulling you back around to face Cody. "Eyes on me, cyare" he ordered, thumb coming to stroke against your bottom lip before he pulled away. He quickly unfastened the bottom half of his blacks and pushed them down his hips, allowing his hard, swollen length to come out.

Your mouth watered, staring at the hard cock in front of you. He wasn't fully hard like you knew he could be, but he was already leaking some pre-cum from the head and you knew he would be a challenge to take when he was hard as rock. You couldn't wait to feel that in your mouth, to wrap your lips around the head and suck him down.

"Go on, cyare. You know what to do" Cody instructed, gripping his base to keep it steady.

Finally, with his permission, you took his head in your mouth, sucking on it strongly before trying to sink further onto him and gagging slightly.

"Whoa, look how hungry she is for the Commander's cock" Wooley- you were sure it was Wooley—muttered in awe.

However, a hand wrapped itself in your hair and pulled you off him. Cody tutted, shaking his head as you whined up at him. "You know better than that, cyare. Take me properly" he rebuked, before letting go of your hair.

Pouting, you knew he was right. Normally you took your time in taking Cody into your mouth, made it a show and built his pleasure. Not rush it, unable to wait.

Raising your hands to his thighs, you shuffled forward, kitten licking at his slit before ducking to lick a long, heated swipe from his balls all the way up to his tip. Hearing the answering groan, you did it again, making sure to swirl your tongue around his head for a moment. You continued to lick him teasingly, sometimes sucking his tip and lapping up his juices.

"That's a good girl. That's better, cyare" Cody moaned, eyes sliding shut as his hand tangled into your hair. He never pulled or tried to guide you, just keeping the weighted reminder on the back of your head, keeping you connected to him. "I know, you've been rushing, having to get things done quickly. Working so hard, but I don't want that. Want you to take your time, enjoy this cyare" Cody continued, knowing his words would sink deep into your brain.

The grip on his thighs tightened, as you let out a small whine, not wanting to think about what had led up to this. All you wanted to do was focus on Cody, on making him feel good and feeling how good it was to just not have to worry about anything.

"Shh, you're alright, ad'ika. Don't have to think of anything right now" Helix assured, hand trailing along your shoulders.

Closing your eyes, you took Cody deeper into your mouth, struggling slightly as he bumped the back of your throat. Squeezing your thumb, you took calming breaths in through your nose before finally sinking all the way down on him. With watery eyes, you looked up to meet Cody's gaze, knowing he enjoyed it. You hoped he was able to read what you wanted in your eyes as well.

Cody frowned, brow furrowed for a moment before he smiled and nodded. "Alright cyare, I know, I know what you need" he assured before pulling away from your delicious mouth. He allowed you to take a deep breath before he was pushing back in, hand that was resting on your head becoming firmer and pushing you down onto his length with every buck of his hips.

Groaning, you allowed Cody to use your mouth, making sure to drag your tongue against the underside of his cock with every thrust. Already you could feel slick dampen your core, and the urge to touch yourself there grew.

"Kriff! She's so hot" Waxer cursed from above you.

Tears brimming your eyes, you dragged your nails down Cody's thigh, hearing and feeling how you affected him. The loud moan that he let out and the way his hips stuttered in their pace had you feeling very proud of yourself. Wanting to have his cum flood your mouth, you cupped his balls, beginning to gently massage them in your hands.

However, Cody quickly pulled you off him, panting heavily as he tried to steady himself once more.

"Having trouble there, Commander?" Boil smirked at his brother.

"Shut up vod! You would be too if you felt this mouth around you" Cody grumbled, before dragging his thumb over your swollen lips.

Instantly you took it into your mouth, showing him what he was missing.

"Want you to have my brother's first, cyare. Be good for them, let them take care of you" Cody told you, leaning down to brush your lips against his. It only lasted a second before he was stepping away and allowing his brothers to take over.

"Hey ad'ika, need to move you for a second, okay?" Helix informed you, scooping you up under your arms and pulling you to your feet.

Wooley and Boil laid out a thin mattress from the corner of the room and laid a few pillows down on it, trying to make it more comfortable for you.

"How do you want her?" Waxer asked, coming to your left side while Crys came to your right. They took you out of Helix's arms before taking over supporting you between them. Their arms wrapped around your waist and Crys was already pressing kisses along your jaw. Sighing, you couldn't help but tilt your head back, giving him more skin to kiss.

"I want her sitting on my face. You can do whatever you want, but I want to taste her" Helix instructed the others.

His words made you groan, imagining the clone eating you out and feasting on you. He was your boss. How would you ever look him in the face again knowing his had been buried deep in your cunt?

"Come on ad'ika" Helix muttered, voice reassuring and gentle as he saw the look on your face. He laid down on the mattress and reached out a hand for you to take.

Of course it would be fine. Helix was one of your closest friends. He looked after you and cared for you. This was just one way of doing that. So, stepping forward onto the mattress, you took his hand and let him guide you above him.

Looking down at him, you couldn't help but bite your lip, worried about suffocating him as you sat on his face. How would he breathe?

"Are you sure? What if I hurt you?" you worried, squeezing the hand that was in yours.

Helix huffed, shooting Cody a dark look as he stood in the corner. "I'm disappointed in you vod, I would have thought you showed her how impossible that is" he chided the Commander.

Cody rolled his eyes, but sent you a warm smile. "I have, multiple times. That's a concern coming from elsewhere" he grumbled before turning to you. "I promise sweetheart, he wants you to sit on him. He'd prefer to go out that way, bit of a sadist really" he teased, making you giggle.

"Yeah, no kidding! His hypos are excruciating!" Waxer mumbled to Boil, rubbing his neck where he had gotten stabbed by Helix the last time.

"Alright, I trust you" you grinned, excitement and happiness curling in your heart in equal measure. You lowered yourself until you were hovering over him.

"I said sit, ad'ika" Helix ordered, hands landing on your waist and tugging you down.

You gasped as his lips instantly attached to your folds, sucking the slick from them with a pleased moan. Fuck, your thoughts fizzled out as Helix pressed his wide tongue between your lips, gathering as much of you on his tongue as possible. He pressed against your entrance, circling it before pushing in.

"Helix!"

A rumble echoed beneath you and you clutched on tight to Helix's long hair, needing an anchor as he began to eat you out. His large hands stretched over your thighs, keeping you in place as he began to push further into your cunt, tip of his tongue teasing your tightening walls.

Closing your eyes, you tilted your head back, hair brushing against your shoulders as your breathing stuttered and became heavier. Unconsciously you began to rock your hips into Helix's talented mouth, panting as Helix pulled you into him. You could hear every wet, swipe of his tongue. The squelch of your juices being devoured by him and the soft groans he was letting out at the taste of you.

Warm fingers dancing along your jaw caught your attention, and you straightened up and opened your eyes to see Crys standing in front of you, his hard cock bobbing in front of him. You couldn't take your eyes off his length, how it was already leaking pre-cum and seemed to be an angry rouge colour.

"Think you can take me in your mouth, sweetheart?" Crys wondered, fingers continuing to stroke along your jaw and down your neck.

Leaning into the soft gesture, you knew he would accept whatever answer you gave him. Luckily for him you really, really wanted to put your mouth on him. Nodding your head, you rested a hand on his hip, steadying yourself against him while you continued to rut against Helix's mouth.

Licking a stripe up from the base of his cock to the tip, you wondered if they all liked their cocks sucked as Cody did. Slowly you began to tease at his head, trying to learn what the technical specialist liked, circling the tip before taking it into your mouth. Cody liked you going slow on him, building his pleasure and teasing him but it seemed Crys didn't. A hand tangled in your hair, guiding you to take him further into your mouth.

You groaned around him, eyes fluttering shut as you clenched down on the tongue inside of you. Helix pulled away from you, taking your folds into his mouth and suckling lightly on them while you adjusted to Crys' length. Letting yourself sink further down on Crys, you tightened your grip on his hip before he was pulling you off him.

"Good girl, took me so well. I'm going to fuck your mouth, okay? If it gets too much, tap me twice and I'll stop" Crys instructed, brushing a few strands of hair out of your face.

"Kay" you mumbled, voice already sounding strained from the use of Cody and him.

Crys sent you a grin before he guided you back down his hard cock, your soft exhales through your nose tickling the curls at the base.

As Crys found his rhythm, thrusting his cock inside your waiting mouth, Helix continued to work you open, his tongue flicking up to the bundle of nerves. It had you bucking into him, warmth flooding you at the way he was teasing your clit. Every thought vanished from your head, only focusing on how good it felt to have Helix eating you out and Crys fucking your mouth. All you had to do was take what they gave you, they would look after you. They'd make sure you forgot everything except them.

As you moaned around the length in your mouth, Helix enclosed his lips around your clit, sucking it harshly and having your cries muffled by Crys.

"Damn, whatever you just did, do it again. She really liked that!" Crys hissed out, the vibrations around his cock pushing him closer and closer to his finish.

Helix wasted no time, sucking your bundle of nerves harshly while his hands kept you secure to him. He allowed you to rock and buck against his mouth, but he wouldn't let you move far from him.

Your peak was rising, the ministrations of both clones pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your moans were muffled by Crys, who continued to fuck into you, pace faltering as he neared his own edge.

"Shit! Oh shit sweetheart!" he hissed, throwing his head back as he pushed you all the way down onto his cock, your throat quivering around him as he found his release. He shot his thick load down your throat, and you swallowed it down with no complaint, earning another broken moan from the blonde clone as he pulled away to look you over.

"So beautiful, sweetheart. Did so well" he praised, brushing the few tears that had collected on your waterline. "Think you can cum on Helix's face now? I think he's so close he's going to blow" Crys whispered, caressing and stroking your cheeks as he shot his brother a teasing look.

Helix swore at his brother before plunging his tongue back into your soaked entrance, determined to push as deep as possible into you.

Your back arched, a broken cry leaving your lips as Helix wrapped his lips around you tightly and sucked. Tugging at his long hair, you couldn't help but feel your release wash over you as he continued to tease you with his tongue, drinking down the juices that erupted around him. Quivering at the powerful orgasm, you nearly missed the hot spurts that hit your ass. Realising what happened, you shuddered even more when you realised that Helix had come untouched and had painted your skin with his release.

Whimpering, you pushed his mouth away from you and rolled off him, panting heavily as you lay there, coming down from your high.

Sweet, gentle hands lifted your head and placed it onto a thick thigh. "My perfect, wonderful cyare. So beautiful. You did brilliant, love" Cody whispered his praises into your hair, bending down over you and laying kisses over your cheeks and head.

Sighing, you sunk into his reassuring touches and loving words, feeling them soothe you and bring your mind into a warm, heady cloud. Cody loved you so much, he was so pleased with you already and still there was more men to have you. Everything felt so right and comfortable that you almost missed Cody pressing something to your lips.

Blinking wide eyes at him, he sent you an adoring smile as he sat you up more and pressed the water canteen to your lips once again. The cool water did wonders for your throat and brought you back from that delightful and safe headspace that you had sunk into.

"That's it cyare, got to make sure you keep hydrated. Otherwise Helix will kill me" Cody chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple as you drank.

When you had your fill, you pushed the canteen away and Cody passed it off to someone else. He held you close on his lap, brushing warm circles on your back as he took you in. "Do you want to continue, cyare?" He checked in, giving your knee a quick squeeze.

You wanted nothing more than to continue. Helix and Crys had already made you feel amazing, your orgasm still making you feel small aftershocks of pleasure. Why wouldn't you want to continue with the rest of the troopers? Nodding eagerly, Cody chuckled, giving you a chaste kiss before helping you to lie-down once more on the mattress. He transferred your head onto someone else's lap.

Looking up into heated, brown eyes, you smiled at the moustached man who was gazing at you softly.

"Hey, verd'ika" he murmured, fingers brushing through your hair and massaging your scalp.

Sighing and relaxing further into him, you almost purred at the amazing way that simple touch had you feeling loose and ready for more.

"Its mine and Wax's turn, you ready for us?" he asked, watching as a wide beam spread across your face.

"Yeah... I'm ready for you both" you assured, eyes flickering down the length of your body as you felt the mattress dip by your feet.

Waxer returned it with an easy but excited grin of his own before sliding his hands up and down your calves, going higher each time. "I really want to taste you, mesh'la. From the sounds of my brothers, you must taste divine" Waxer complimented, settling his broad frame in between your legs.

Blushing at his words, you couldn't help but nuzzle into Boil's hand. To have such beautiful, kind men eager to be with you had your heart soaring and filling with love for the troopers around you. "And I want this mouth. Had Crys and the Commander shaking like a tooka afterwards" Boil chuckled, running his thumb over your lips.

"Kriff off Boil, just wait until you have her mouth on your cock!" Crys retorted, huffing at his vod's teasing.

"Good idea vod, knew you'd have one eventually" Boil smirked, lifting his hips slightly to push his blacks down enough for his cock to bounce out. "Open up, mesh'la" he ordered, gripping the base of his cock. As soon as you opened your mouth for him, ready to take his length into your wet heat, he pushed the tip of his cock to rest against your tongue but moved no further.

Whining, you tried to push forward, bury more of his throbbing, weighted length into your mouth but he just tutted, pulling you back. "Just like this for now, verd'ika. I want you to just hold me in your mouth like this" Boil told you, running soothing hands up and down your arms and shoulders.

"That's it mesh’la, you keep him warm in your mouth while I get to work" Waxer beamed, pressing a little nip to your inner thigh before soothing it with a swipe of his tongue.

The little yelp died in your throat at the way Waxer contrasted the harsh sting with the soft glide of his tongue. He continued to rain small kisses and little nips up your thighs before he reached the apex.

"You're gorgeous! No wonder the Commander likes to keep you to himself" Waxer breathed, brushing his nose along the crease of your thigh.

Sighing around the cock in your mouth, you reached for Waxer, brushing against his smooth head to try and encourage him to move to where you really needed him.

"I know, i know mesh’la, you just look so amazing" Waxer chuckled, his hands gripping your thighs and throwing them over his shoulders. His warm breath caressed along your swollen, wet heat, causing your nipples to harden even further.

A hand entwined in your own, and you looked up with heated eyes to see Boil's hand curled in yours, giving you something to squeeze and hold beside Waxer. As a reward, you gave a light suck to his tip and Boil let out a muffled curse.

"Get on with it Wax, she's starting to get impatient" Boil grumbled, flicking his brother's ear.

Waxer flinched away but did spread your folds open with his thumb, leaving your bare to his face before he licked a long, broad stripe from your entrance all the way to your clit. He circled the little swollen bud before returning to your entrance to do the same.

Letting out a groan, you slid your eyes closed, losing yourself to their touches and the way they held you still against them. Just giving you pleasure without having to do anything in return. Whining, you squeezed Boil's hands as your thighs trembled along Waxer's shoulders. The weight against your tongue was also keeping you distracted, because you wanted nothing more to take Boil further into your mouth, have his cock brush against your throat until you had tears streaming down your cheeks.

Keeping you spread for him, Waxer's tongue delved into your sweet hole, enjoying the way your walls shook and fluttered around his penetrative tongue, almost like you were drawing him further into you. He groaned at the thought, pressing closer into you and spreading your thighs wider around his head.

Dragging your hand down from his head to his powerful shoulders, your dug your nails into his blacks, groaning around Boil as his brother seemed to want to swallow you whole. The coil in tour stomach began to tighten as Waxer pulled away to nibble on your folds before taking them into his mouth and soothing them with his talented lips.

Boil brought your attentions back to him with a slight tug on the roots of your hair. He brushed his thumb over the apple of your cheeks before slowly beginning to push his cock across your tongue. Just as he brushed the back of your throat, he pulled back once more until the tip was just resting on your tongue.

Growling a little as you realised he was teasing you, setting a slow and controlled pace, you tried to lift your head to swallow him down completely but he just chuckled and pulled you off him.

"No, I want it like this" he said firmly, smirking at the whine that you let out and the pout that formed on your face. "Not used to getting told no, verd'ika? The Commander spoils you. I'll fuck this beautiful mouth how I want, don't worry we'll get you there, just have to be good for us, think you can do that?" Boil's stern but teasing voice filled your ears.

Fine, you would let him set the pace. And you weren't spoiled, Cody just loved to see the smile spread over your face and to know he was the one that caused that. Letting out a huff, you nodded, but quickly accepted the kiss that Boil pressed to the corner of your lips.

Straightening up, Boil pushed his cock back into your talented mouth, rocking in slowly and steady just to drive you mad.

It was such a contrast to what Waxer was doing between your legs though. The Lieutenant was running his tongue in small circles around your clit, never touching it but teasing you all the same. You could feel slick leaking down onto the bed, as he kept you open, thumbs hooking your folds apart. It left you feeling so exposed and you couldn't help but buck and press your hips into his mouth.

"Waxer!" you cried, pulling away from Boil when his vod finally flicked his tongue over your clit. Pleasure raced along your body, especially when Boil gave one of your nipples a sharp tweak. Panting heavily, you clenched around nothing, wanting to be filled as Waxer took your clit into his mouth. He alternated his sucks, keeping them light and then harsh, always having you writhe underneath him as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

Letting out a sob, you tugged on Boil's hand and Waxer's head, wanting them closer, wanting more and more.

Chuckling against you, Waxer began flicking your clit in fast motions, determined to push you over into another orgasm. He didn't have to wait long as you cried out, back arching from the mattress as you came hard. He groaned, collecting your release on his tongue, tasting your sweet nectar as you shook around him, thighs quivering and small sobs escaping your lips as white hot pleasure washed through you in waves.

As you became oversensitive to the sweeps of his tongue, you pushed Waxer away, panting heavily against Boil's thigh. Waxer got onto his knees before you and you couldn't help but watch, eyes unable to move as Waxer quickly fisted his aching cock, pumping himself a few more times before he shot his release all over your stomach.

The warmth that landed on your stomach had you letting out a small moan, enjoying the way that the Lieutenant had painted you with his cum. It left you feeling marked, possessed in a good way. Like you belonged with them.

"Commander... can I try something different?" Wooley's voice interrupted your bliss, pulling your attention to the pair of troopers leaning against the wall.

Cody frowned, taking in his vod'ika's nervous behaviour and eager eyes. Glancing at you, he saw you were curious at his words as well. What did he want to try with you?

"You know the rules, Wooley" he warned, raising an eyebrow at his younger brother.

"I know sir, i just wanted... er to... to eat out her ass, sir" Wooley admitted, his cheeks reddening at the look Cody shot him as well as the wolf whistles of his brothers.

You felt heat flash through you at his words. It was something you hadn't even thought about happening tonight. But that didn't mean you didn't want to have Wooley's mouth on you, exploring your furled entrance.

Raising your eyes to meet Cody's, you could see that he was checking in with you. Wanting to make sure it was something you wanted to do tonight. It had been something you had explored with him before, but not something you had thought would happen in a session like this. Giving him a nod and a small smile, you reassured him that Wooley's request was okay.

Cody turned back to his brother with a hard look, wanting to tease him just a little. "Fine, same safe words and actions apply. Check in with her as well" Cody instructed, giving him permission.

"Wait! That's not fair, I didn't know that was allowed!" Waxer cried out, looking between his baby brother and you. Wooley shot him a smug look as he passed him.

"Careful Commander, your favouritism is showing" Helix smirked, leaning back against the table to watch.

"It’s not my fault that you lot wasn't creative enough to ask about this" Cody shrugged, used to the (well founded) accusations of favouritism of Ghost's youngest member.

Giggling at their complaints, you welcomed Wooley onto the mattress, taking his large hand in yours. "Hi" you greeted, smiling sweetly at the way Wooley blushed a little more at you.

"Hi" he echoed back, settling between your thighs, "you sure this is okay?"

"Hmm, more than okay" you assured him once more, squeezing his fingers as well.

"How do you want her, vod?" Boil asked, stroking along your jaw.

"Just like this. You two seem too comfortable to move" he answered, settling himself down in between your legs.

Your breath became a little heavier as Wooley pressed a kiss to your hip before his large hands slid underneath you to cup your butt and lift it up to his face. "Oh!" a startled yelp left you as your hips was lifted from the mattress, supported by the large, strong trooper.

"Like being picked up, verd'ika?" Boil grinned, stroking your cheek before returning his leaking cock to your mouth before you could even think of a retort.

It seemed that Boil was just as eager for this part of the night as well, as his pace increased slightly. Still controlled but not nearly as slow and careful as he was before. You wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing against him as much as possible as you sucked around his length.

A hot breath fanned against your forbidden entrance and it had your muscles clenching in Wooley's hands. Your heels dug into his back, ready to feel the fist touch of Wooley against you. Fortunately, you didn't have to wait long, as Wooley lightly pressed his tongue against your ass, trailed around it a few times before pulling away, not breaching you just yet.

Digging your nails into Boil's hip, you couldn't even rock forward suspended as you were between the two troopers. All you wanted was for Wooley to touch you again. "Please" you begged, as Boil's hips pulled away from you. It had the younger trooper groaning before he licked your clenched hole with slightly more pressure.

"Hmm, she sounds so cute when she's begging" Crys admired, watching the way your body shook slightly at his vod's touches and his praise.

"Relax, cyare, just let go" Cody added, noticing the tension in your body as you tried to keep from feeling too much and having this be over too soon.

Closing your eyes, you sunk into the feeling of Boil rocking his cock in and out of you while Wooley teased your furled hole. Finally you felt him push into you, stretching you around his tongue. The tight ring of muscle clenched around his venturing tongue, sending shock waves of pleasure through you, settling just behind your clit.

He lathered your opening with his saliva, making you nice and wet for him. You could feel him run his tongue along your tight muscles, coaxing you to relax and open up more for him. Wooley must have felt you relaxing around him because he groaned, the vibrations echoing through you and sending sparks up your spine.

"Fuck, sweetheart!" Boil cursed, pushing his cock further into your mouth and tugging at your hair. The vibrations that was surrounding his cock was making it difficult not to cum right then and there.

Moaning, your hand slipped between you, cupping his balls in your hand and gently squeezing and pulling at them. Your lips stretched around his thick length, running your tongue along the throbbing vein on the underside of his shaft.

"Kriff!" Boil hissed, eyes slamming shut as he thrust roughly into you as he came, pressing you down until your nose brushed against the wiry curls at the base of his cock.

Panting, you pulled away from him, sending the trooper a pleased, smug look as he almost looked deliriously at you, bliss written all over his face.

"Good girl, verd'ika" Boil gasped out, patting your head a few times before slipping out from beneath you.

Wookey squeezed your ass tight at the shift in position, keeping you secure against his mouth as his tongue devoured you. He pulled away slightly, spreading your cheeks wider before spitting on your puckered hole.

A cry left your lips at the feel of his wet, hot saliva trailing over your hole and down onto the mattress. It was something filthy and dirty and you wanted more of it. "Fuck, please! Please Wooley!" you cried, trying to writhe in his grasp but it was no use, he held you so tight.

The thick muscle returned to your ass, pushing as far in as Wooley could as he continued to squeeze and massage your ass cheeks. You reached down, hands gripping onto his Mohawk and no doubt ruining the gelled hair. Flicking his tongue over the rim resulting in another harsh tug before you felt your core tighten once more. You wouldn't be surprised if your arousal was leaking from you and dripping down your crack if it wasn't for the position that Wooley had you in.

But you wanted release, you were so close, all of them having worked you up and pushed you over the edge. You wanted it again. You wanted to cum again because it was too much.

"Cody, please!" you begged, turning watery eyes to your commander. However they didn't remain there long as they rolled into your head when Wooley grazed his teeth over your rim before suckling on it gently. You let out a loud cry, thighs trembling around Wooley's ears.

"Shh, I've got you cyare. I know, he's treating you so well, isn't he?" Cody cooed to you, brushing away your tears as you clutched onto his arm. You panted, nodding against him and bucking into Wooley's mouth, stomach fluttering as Wooley continued to devoured you. You just needed more and you knew you would cum. You just needed something to push you over the edge.

Digging your nails into Cody's arm, he locked his lips with yours, swallowing your cries as he brought his fingers to your clit, drenched in all your previous releases and arousal. He pinched the swollen bud lightly before circling it in quick, light touches that had you sobbing into his mouth.

Wooley moaned around you as he felt you walls clench and flutter around his tongue. He buried his face deeper inside of you, feeling his own cock throb at the sounds you were making.

"Cum for us, cyare" Cody demanded, keeping his firm pressure as he rubbed your clit.

The words and feel of both Wooley feasting on your ass and Cody playing with your clit had you falling over the edge, your muffled scream caught by Cody as your whole body tensed and went rigid before sinking back into their touches, as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. Your whole body felt boneless as they pulled away from you, leaving you feeling oversensitive and exhausted.

Distantly you felt two spurts of cum land on you, one on your lower stomach that must be from Wooley and the other on your breasts, the other source must be Cody. They panted, resting against you as you all struggled to catch your breath.

After a few moments, warm arms brought you into a broad chest and you looked up into the scarred face of your Cody. He had an exhausted smile on his face as he held you protectively in his arms. Brushing the sweat stroked stands from your face, he kissed your forehead.

"Feeling better, cyare?" Cody asked, hands running lightly up and down your back and along your thighs.

Humming, you gave him a tired smile and leant your head against his chest, listening to the dull thud of his racing heart as it slowed down to normal pace. You felt amazing, your body too tired to be tense and your mind wonderfully quiet for the first time in a long while.

"Let's get you cleaned up, the others can sort this out" Cody murmured, nuzzling into your hair.

"Come on you two, here's some water and food Commander. Make sure she has some. We'll clean the bedding and get everything sorted" Helix said firmly, helping you both up onto your feet. He kept a steady grip on you until he was assured your legs wouldn't give out.

As Cody took whatever supplies he was given from the medic, you turned to check on Wooley, to make sure he was okay after he had finished on you as well. But you didn't need to worry. Waxer was already coaxing his brother to take some water from the canteen, while Boil washed him down with a wet cloth. It always warmed your heart how much the clones looked after each other.

Your attention was drawn back to Cody, as he led you to a quiet spot and handed you a ration bar. He saw your grimace and chuckled, before pouring some water onto a cloth.

"Eat that cyare, while I wash you up. The boys really got you good" Cody said, pride shining in his voice at the sight of you covered in his and his brothers' cum. It set something primal off in him knowing that you were marked as his. That you belonged with him and the 212th.

Rolling your eyes, you nibbled on the flavourless bar, once again wondering how they could even eat this rubbish on the field. But you let Cody clean you up from their spend, gentle strokes along your chest, stomach and back, making sure that you were all clean. He gave himself a quick clean before throwing the cloth onto a pile of them, ready to be disposed of later.

"Come on love" he encouraged, taking your hand and leading you back over to the mattress. Only this time it was piled high with blankets and pillows, as well as the rest of the clones already getting comfortable in a cuddle pile.

Beaming, you pulled a spare blanket around you before sinking into the middle of the pile. Cody followed after you, getting complaints as he pushed his brothers over so he could lie next to you. Giggling, you welcomed being pulled into Cody's arms as all the rest of his vode pressed around you.

"Get some sleep, cyare. You've more than earned it" Cody whispered, kissing your head and holding you tight.

And in his arms, you had never felt safer. Surrounded by the heat and bodies of his brothers, you knew that whatever happened, you would always have Cody and his brothers. You weren't fighting this war alone.

[maybetheyredrunk]

inspired by something @youknowwho-mustnotbenamed wrote, December 15 - Desk | Jegulus | word count: 852 | @taylorswiftmicrofic Across from Sirius’ bedroom, there is another door.... – @youknowwho-mustnotbenamed on Tumblr

A bit of fluffy angst.

He never really came out to Sirius. Sirius just kind of- knew. Helped him buy trousers together, cut their hair together, pretended to "accidentally" rip Regulus' dresses so that he wouldn't have to wear them.

The first time he came out to someone, it felt like there was an ocean in his lungs.

Regulus had to come out to his parents after Sirius left. They needed an heir.

He'd stood there, in front of his parents as they waited with judgement in their eyes. "Spit it out, boy." from Orion. "Just hurry up." from Walburga.

"I-" "I'm-"

Then he had to stop for a bit, panic filling his chest like water fills a drowning man. Black spots swam like fish, and for one delirious moment, he thought he might try catch them at some point.

When they cleared, he continued.

"I'm trans."

Surprisingly, Walburga and Orion weren't as mad as he thought.

"Well, it was obvious you weren't a proper girl." "Yes, you weren't the best daughter."

"But we need an heir to the Black family and fortune."

Sirius gone, now a Potter and later a Lupin, they needed someone to continue the Black line.

The second time he came out to someone, it was Narcissa. Easier this time, and Narcissa was supportive. "You're still my cousin."

The third time he came out to someone, it was Barty and Evan. Honestly, he didn't think they cared much, which was nice. "You're still our idiot best friend, we really don't care what you were before."

The fourth time, it was Remus and Lily. Remus understood what it was like to feel wrong in your own body. "I understand." Regulus broke down because he was so supportive. But it was a nice breakdown, not a bad one. Lily didn't know what it was like, but she supported him anyways, and held him while he cried. "I'll always support you Reg, don't worry."

The fifth time, it was James. And it felt like there was a porcelain mask over his skin, his armour that he was slowly peeling away. He panicked this time, properly, and spent ten minutes lying in James's arms, crying. It wasn't planned this time. It was over a phone call. "Uh hey James." "Hey Reggie, what's up?" "I need- I need you to do something for me please?" "Sure mi estrella, what do you need?" "I-" "Don't hate me." "I need you to get me some- period stuff." "You- What?" "Period stuff. Pads." "Oh alright love, you should have said sooner, what do you need? Pads, tampons, anything else? I'll get chocolate for you as well, and a heating pad if you want." "You- you're not-" "I'm not what?"

Regulus could feel tears, relieved ones, slipping down his face, coating his shirt in saltwater. An ocean. "You're not breaking up with me?" He said brokenly. "No love, why would I do that?" "Because- because I'm-" "Trans? Love, that's fine. You're still my boyfriend, you know?" "Now, is there anything else you want me to get, any specific brands for pads?" "N-no." "Ok. Wait in the toilets, yeah? Second floor right?" "Yes." "Love you." And with a beep, the call disconnected.

And Regulus slid down to the ground, tears rolling down his face. When James arrived later to find him, pads, chocolate, and a heating pad in hand as promised, he was shocked to find him crying.

He reassured Regulus that he was alright with him being trans, he still was James's boyfriend, the fact that he used to be a girl didn't change anything.

And maybe Regulus started crying again. Or maybe he never stopped, who knows? But it was happy tears this time.

Maybe the porcelain mask wasn't a mask. He was, after all, a boy, not a girl.

And the ocean in his lungs diminished as it fell from his eyes.

Graphics by @sweetmelodygraphics

@into-the-jeggyverse @noblehouseofgay @my-castles-crumbling @strawberrystainedfingertips7 @reggie-the-starboy

[soap-is-an-artist]

gonna ramble about charlie and auron because i just got out the premiere and. holy shit.

if I'm way off base on my analysis i am so sorry, im still processing, these are just my initial thoughts on stuff. and if you disagree id love to discuss it!

okay so first things first i screamed a LOT. I was so relieved when Charlie said he wasn't mad at Cas [i would've cried probably]. Auron made some truly wild comments. case in point: "I would probably slap the taste out of your mouth if it wouldn't mean getting you all hot and bothered just in time for Casper to drop me off at the office, pull into the parking garage, and fuck some goddamn sense into you." I YELLED OMFG auron. you can't just SAY shit like that. Then the Disney princess line. Charlie sounded so weak when he said "can we go back to that part about 'Casper fucking some sense into me'??" And Auron answering with "Not until I'm outside of the vehicle. You'll have to find someone else to watch." AURON. STOP PLEASE IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK FROM LAUGHING

alright moving on from that let's get to the serious shit. Charlie is justified to be angry about Auron interfering in his personal life; it ISN'T a healthy way to interact with people, whether you want to befriend them or not. Auron orchestrated this whole scheme because he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, and you know what? I get it. He doesn't know what normal is, and it's not really his fault that he doesn't know. But he can at least try? Wikihow is free, brother /lh

Charlie wanted a fresh start. He wanted to disconnect from the dangerous world that Auron is a participant in, he wanted to earn his own way in the world, earn a bit of self damn respect like he deserves. Auron undermined all that, despite his good intentions. He lied, big time. And that's kinda shitty and not okay!

Was it about control? Keeping a hand on loose ends, like Charlie thinks? Auron just wanted to "protect him", right? Well, as someone who has had much of their life controlled by people who ALSO just wanted to "protect" me, that's a very weak excuse for taking away someone's agency. Now, our situations aren't exactly the same. Auron is not Charlie's parents [THANK GOD] and there actually some things Charlie isn't aware of that he needs to be protected from! But this was not the move. Like.. at all.

What's my solution? I dunno. But maybe don't force all these things to happen. Perhaps send an email rather than getting your guy to hunt down your former employee's childhood friend/crush and sneakily reunite them behind his back? Or at least try the email first, Auron. Charlie calling Auron out on playing pretend, "just writing one of your little stories"... ouch. But does he kinda deserve that? Yeah. I think so.

[Side note: Charlie talking about how if he'd sought out Cas on his own terms, it would've worked out because they fall in love every time? "Because that's where I'm supposed to be." I. fucking. fell over. I had to fucking BITE something omg. Yeah im biased in this argument sorry lol, i definitely have a favorite here]

HOWEVER: Auron admits that he was wrong! He is not an unrepentant man and he DIDN'T double down! That is a big point in his favor imo. He doesn't actually say "sorry" but he uses a lot more words to mean something... similar? I guess that's a fanfic writer's way. I get it, I also elaborate way too much. So, an actual clear cut "Charlie, I'm sorry I fucked with your life behind your back just because I wanted to be friends with you" would've been nice. But this will do for now.

Also Charlie you REALLY need to watch out for Finn that guy is a freakkkkk he will fuck you up big time. Not normal Finn. The magic one.

Okay I'm done typing whatever pops into my head with the barest pretense at organization lmao, I'll revisit this in time once my thoughts marinate a little more