#I'll try to help her get home
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Ok I took the wrong bus with the nice lady and it's freezing
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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realizing im kind of a weirdo about laios and marcille
#possramble#ignore this im just babbling but#the thing is that like. i don't ship laios and marcille together. their relationship is so so important to me in that laios comphets himsel#and THINKS that he might be in love with her but he isn't and that's my insane obsession#platonic soulmates for real but they're so sweet together that i fully expect them to be shipped together#like i get it. that's almost the appeal for me. if dungeon meshi were any other series there'd be an epilogue where they get married#convention dictates that they're meant to be together as the male protagonist and his beloved female deuteragonist#but dungeon meshi DOESNT do that and i love it so fucking much they're the comphet besties ever for my strange little brain#like if i ever did an arranged marriage au it would absolutely be laios and marcille having a platonic political marriage and then just#the most insane mutual pining with marcille and falin while laios and marcille struggle their way into becoming best friends#the imagery of the king and his beautiful court mage being tender to each other and everyone thinking they're in love is like catnip to me#like yeah they'd be like that and have no idea people think they should be together and the subversion makes me so obsessed#the more people ship them romantically. the more i enjoy their platonic dynamic it's like some sort of weird comphet fetishism idk#people think they're in love and im outside the window like YES... YES!!!#but also the second i see stuff of them kissing on the mouth or fucking im like oh god no i went too deep in here i gotta get out#don't wanna see that. i'll go feral over the idea of laios and marcille being arm-in-arm like king and queen but they would not fuck.#i want marcille to be his default comphet beard and dance partner/plus one at official royal events but they're not kissing.#she's there on his arm because he's scared of the other noble women tryna get him and being a baby about it#and people see them muttering to each other and laughing and generally being very sweet and think that they're dating but they're not.#she's actually covered in hickies from falin underneath her dress and is gonna get dragon dicked right after the party is over#like she's in her bedroom and falin's helping her take her ridiculous dress off while listening to her complain about politics#and falin is the person she goes home to the person she falls asleep to and wakes up with#they're a triad of utter devotion to each other but only farcille's side of the triangle is romantic#it's almost like an open secret because they're not trying to hide it at all but people assume and are surprised to find out#like people are so right about her relationship with the toudens but with the siblings' roles switched#love of her life & irreplaceable life companion. does anyone get it#anyway. i don't know what's wrong with me#it bothers me that they're not the undisputed most popular het ship for marcille on ao3#it's unnatural. marcille being paired with any other man should be a fringe case.
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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Car-less. Laptop-less. Bitch-less. I have nothing left to my name
#my life truly is a comedy of errors rn so i'll try laughing instead of crying 💀#my car died in the parking lot of where i was picking up my deceased laptop ajskdgl. all while riding through a severe thunderstorm warning#my mom came out to help cause my dad said he was too busy buying soup 😭😭😭#managed to start it and drive her over to our family's auto repair shop. now i'm home#my mom insisted on getting me food and the only thing around was mcdonalds and i tried to tell her no but she got it anyways.#so now i'm eating fucking. genocide chicken nuggets. at least i didnt pay for them and i'll donate some money back but#breaking my boycott indirectly was really the cherry on top 😞#i' going through it rn can u tell asjdkglhl
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You know you have a problem when you start RELATING to the song Waving Through A Window
#lol just wrote the sentence 'everyone gets sick of him eventually' and started spiralling because it hit too close to home#because my friend didnt text me back and because a different friend who I was always with walked into my common room said hi and ignored me#and don't get me wrong she was talking about me behind my back so I am trying to distance myself but fuck it hurt#im so tired of everyone getting sick of me#but i know its my own fault so i guess I can't complain#my social anxiety is so severe at the moment that i can't really handle much social interaction anyway#and I can't stop crying because I'm so sick of feeling this way#and i have my writing workshop tomorrow and I'm really scared#and the one person I want to talk to didn't text me back so now I'm scared to ask her for help#because I'm also riddled with guilt every time I go to her for help and I'm convinced she views me as a burden#BUT I MEAN THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE I'LL JUST COOK MY BURGER AND CALL IT A DAY#pls ignore this#personal#rambles#ramblings
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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh
#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it#she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin#all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's#all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood#and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here#and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does#so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff#when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die#and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates#cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter#grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni#she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t#so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too#and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress#when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk#i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz#cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all#grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done#unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess#it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help#like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi#and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous#and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree#at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar#without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since#we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by#i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear#its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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Seriously want to thank everyone who commissioned me, life is hell rn and if it weren't for that saving I made with all my comms I'd be doing way worse financially
#In short I got scammed out of 400 euros by trying to sell MIL's mobility scooter#Hell on earth etc#I wish physical harm on people who do these kind of scam like we're in the middle of funeral planning#And you take advantage of us trying to make space at home for us to gather more of her stuff#To rescue her stuff from her abusive ex#Like fuck you on so many levels#I might not even get them back from the bank bc I have permission but like these asshole#Passed them self as the website workers helping a transaction from the buyer to me#I wanna die tbh thank god I'll be able to pay rent next month but ffs that's all I'll be spending
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Hahaha I took a long weekend which was great but Monday at work is terribleeee trying to catch up
#kill me#i just finally ate a full meal after being up for 8 hours#there is an hour left in the day and I'm like how will i get nearly enough done between now and then#personal#oh Grace you can do overtime. Grace is working 16 hours at her other job this week and can't spare an extra hour here sorry#Edited to add i did stay a little later to try to do more and I'm thinking I'll get them to set me up with work from home so i can do ot.#bc yeah I'm already doing 55 hour weeks but even a couple extra hours would help me keep up with the workload#and it wouldn't realistically be that bad since I'd be at home#and ya know that time and a half life
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.
#i am gonna be so honest with you all babes. i'm fucking exhausted.#and my back hurts and my head hurts and my heart hurts and i'm just.#trying to take it day by day i guess. i don't know anymore really.#like yeah we have help and it's fine but. everyone leaves and goes home and they don't have to do anything about it anymroe.#im still here i'm still the one that wakes up in the middle of the night i'm sitll the one that gets called to do it all#i literally have done fuck all for work today because i've been the one doing the running around#and everyone keeps saying 'oh we're all worried for her and we're all pitching in to help'#and yes you all are! but that doesn't change the fact that she lives wiht us. and that when anyone comes over she still calls for one of us#it's not her fault she's just used to us#but my goodness gracious i have not felt this tired before and i'm just. i'm trying to remind myself i'm doing it for her. you know?#that there is no other reason it's getting done except that it's all For Her. and it makes it a little better.#but it doesn't change the fact that anyone time i step under the shower i just start crying again. or any time i'm alone for ten minutes#i'll just cry really quickly to get it out of my system before going back.#i've never felt more disconnected from reality than i have in the past week you know
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11/20/2024
Around Sept, I gotten a PT employment since my sister decided to argue with mom about her son's behavior and didn't want to bring him after school.
After that I gotten a PT shift to help cover the costs for illustrations for YT uploads... my checklist is almost cleared since I have to contact the same illustratior for the opening portion of the YT videos... After that I can proceed with video editing for uploads on YT...
Atm I'm still looking for full time shift to be able to cover other costs.... I have to look for FT shift until the 30th before I'm being sent to NJ which I don't like main reason is behind that is, I'm being family monitored against my will with no freedom to have privacy of my own....
I'm hoping if I can push everyday until the 30th for YT monetization to where I'm stable I can find my own space without being restricted against my own will.
If I'm able to earn enough to live on my own as a content creator, I'll be able to make video content I like making as well as expand to other content that's been on my checklist to work on....
I have in mind on how should I present my showcase as a pngtuber/vtuber... Though it might be around next year to pick a few things from the craft stores for parts of the showcase reveal...
For the 2nd YT channel I have, I'll most likely upload the work process of main channel uploads maybe vlog content where it's just me holding the camera when it comes to certain parts where I'm allowed to upload and won't disrupt business...
Main channel uploads is going to be half gameplay, and rest most likely non-gameplay content like tcgs and other things on my check list like itabag/oshi DIY stuffs and dog videos.... Collabs is something on my mind though it would have to be when NGS content is a bit slow with updates for the month after headline broadcast....
Watching other content creators I like on YT and learning about different styles they edit has become resources for me to learn and grow as a content creator into how I want to present my videos through trial and error in a fun way...
Regarding to SNS places I'm active, here is more likely a blog post of things going on IRL and talk about YT content plans I have thought for a while before going back to the drawing board of ideas I want to consider thinking about...
Bsky, X/twitter/Xitter, IG and tik tok might be mostly to practice on uploading shorter videos uploads... YT and twitch might be for streaming but YT is just video work uploads and possible streams...
Other video platforms might be a work in progress to test waters for a while....
I have considered about joining an agency as an indie vtuber, though my concern is management that can assist with sponsorships to help with IRL things and for YT streaming and videos uploads... It might be when I have some solid to present...
This is just an update for today of things I have been thinking about and happened recently for the past months to now...
#pngtuber#envtuber#vtuber#Blog update for November#life update#There are things I have been mulling over#A few things are left for me to resume video editing at night before working on YT uploads#I really don't want to be monitored against my will by family who always shames me when it comes to employment and threatened to be put out#Home with family has become a bird cage with little freedom to do anything on my own time#I'm doing everything I can try to find a full time IRL shift and figure out when to move out to somewhere I can find living space#At night my breaking point just goes in tears of being reminded from everything family has been life shaming me about...#I just can't sleep at night thinking about it#Even if I started a GFM to help with moving fees as well saving enough for rent I just don't think anyone would care enough to help me#I just want to edit gameplay videos and learn more about video editing than being life shaming by family#If I showed any form of standing up for myself including emotions I'll suffer the brunt of punishment and get scolded for it#Any form of reason with my mother ends up being in vain for she being single minded and believes in herself as righteous and knows best#Sometimes getting through to my mom is talking to a brick wall into telling her I want to be a content creator in uploading videos on YT#Including streaming she'll respond to being nosy and demanding about how much money that's being made on YT etc just to get a piece for her
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ughhhh
#i feel like I've dug myself too deep into class skipping and now I'm like. nervous to go back. i keep trying and i just can't#and i know it literally wouldn't actually matter to anyone but it still bothers me#that combined with there being someone I really don't want to be around there makes it really fucking hard to actually go#im gonna try again tomorrow bc I actually have work to do so I won't just be basically sitting there for nothing#but who knows I'm probably just gonna end up going back to sleep again#im gonna push to at least go to the second one bc I'm more behind in that one and he's not in it and hopefully won't be hanging out there#idk why i still get so worked up over him either but it really bothers me and hearing his voice makes me actually sick#i keep getting “better” and then when i try to start going to classes more or whatever i fall right back into the hurt and spiral again#bc he's in fucking two of them so it's not like I can help it the only way to avoid him is to not go to school#but I can't keep skipping every week either#i hate being vulnerable but i may have to just explain it to the teacher so i can at least maybe get permission to work form home#instead of me being a dick and skipping without saying anything#i just don't wanna sound weird cause i fully shouldn't be so bothered anymore#maybe I'll send her a canvas message explaining or something i feel bad she probably thinks i hate her class#like no no it's difficult but the only thing i actually hate rn is being around him.#that plus the fact that i work full time makes it really hard to convince myself not to just go back to bed#honestly if i lived slightly closer to the school this probably wouldn't be an issue#but it's a 20 minute drive on the highway both to get there and back and then to work#plus there's only an hour gap bw the two classes so it's basically pointless to leave school and come back#and work is an hr and a half after class ends so my dog basically ends up in the crate all day and i feel bad#I'm gonna have to just message the teacher and explain all this ig. we'll see of i manage to go to class tomorrow
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I do find it funny that to not relapse, i have to be knee deep into ed shit 😭
#Speaking to other former bulimics and constantly reminding myself why it is not worth it#Bc just ignoring it will make me do it eventually. I have had 3 years to learn that 😭#So if I talk about it often or am not particularly active... I am in the tranches to avoid the actual horrors.#I get my medicine today and she said it will coat my stomach to avoid pain when I eat. I'm excited to try it.#I tried to eat yesterday and I couldn't stomach it... I got some down 😭#It's frustrating having dietary restrictions like this amd being told to take an acid reducer instead of... Helping me. I guess#Fried food hurts but she told me if I don't let myself eat her cooking then I'll starve... Girl I am In Pain and Nauseous. Give me a break.#My issue isn't solved by taking antacids. I certainly tried and it did Nothing dude#This wouldn't be an issue if I could cook for myself or buy foods that don't. Snarl at me. But I can't.#I could when I move out but idk how long that will be#Going to see if ramen fucks me up when I get home from bloodwork. I don't think it does but I can't honestly remember.#negative#Kind of.#ed#disordered eating
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simon got himself a young girlfriend. he really shouldn't be entertaining, ruining, a sweet thing like her but he can't help himself. he's depraved like that. wanting to ruin such a sweet, innocent thing. make it so they only think of him...
her parents loathe him. which is not a surprising reaction.
but simon's too big, too imposing, to make them say anything to his face, and oh, his sweet little thing has teeth that snap at her parents when they try to talk about how he's too old. too rough. he won't treat her right.
they're right, of course. but he's good at making his little girlfriend forget about his wrongdoing just by a little sweet whispering and gently coaxing her thighs apart with a rough, scared hand.
however, what he wasn't expecting was finding out about his young girlfriends older sister.
you.
there's an age gap between you and your sister. you're nearly the same age as simon. but that's not the only thing simon takes note off.
you're more fulled out, in places that simon has no business looking at, the innocent ones and the not so innocent ones. there's a couple more inches on you than your sister. not nearly as tall as he, but he thinks he likes it.
but what really gets him goin'. you don't react the same way to him like your parents did. there was no disdain, disgust or even fear in your eyes when you looked at him.
no.
instead he got a wide smile, a hair-flick over your shoulder and a hug. pulling him in, despite his rigid tenseness. patting his back.
"oh aren't you sweet?" your voice is smooth, and almost coo like when you pull away. eyes sparkling with what simon can only describe is warmth.
and while your parents avoid him when he's around. when you're home, you do the exact opposite. you hover around your sister, making sure she's eating well, looking after herself, and then you do the exact same thing to simon.
showering him in the same doting affection as your sister. making them both a plate of food, a lot of food. making sure they're warm and tucked in at night. it's giving them your card when you send your sister to the shops for something, and quieting simon when he says he has his own. doing your sisters laundry AND his.
and the praise. god the praise. it fucking wrecks him. despite most of it being innocent.
he's helping do the dishes when you come in. "oh aren't you being a good boy?" you chime, voice so warm and sweet. you pat his back, and there's a genuine smile on your face. "i'll make you a cuppa for doing so well."
"you ate all your food? aren't you a good lad? huh? c'mon then, make room for dessert for being good." you'll say, patting his stomach and moving to the fridge.
it sends him into a whirlwind.
he could be spending days with his girlfriend's parents, who act like he's not even there. too intimated by this grown man. which he liked. he likes that. imposing people. making them uncomfortable with his mere presence. it's what his little girlfriend likes.
but then you come in. being all nurturing and sweet. coddling his little girlfriend and then doing the same to him despite you and him nearly being the same age.
then he starts to realize that you're treating him like how you treat your younger sister. treating him like he's young and naive. who can't look after himself. completely helpless. praising him for the basics a human adult should not be getting praised for. treating him like a child.
you've been fucking treating him like some fresh out the womb kid this whole fucking time and he's only seeing it now.
and he really can't help it.
but he fucking likes it.
he aches for it.
in the barracks. late at night. instead of flicking through the pictures of his little girlfriend to help quell the ache in him.
he thinks about you. your warm perfume. the reassuring pats. the way praise seems to just smooth off your tongue so sweetly.
"good boy." fuck.
he stares at the mess he made, panting hard. letting out a groan of frustration when he thinks of you again. and for the third time his cock twitches, the ache returning again.
that's when he comes to the inevitable conclusion.
he's fucking ruined.
a/n: idk where i was going with this but. here u go xx love ya'll, drink water xx part 2 maybe idk.
#boowrites#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#cod mwii imagines#x reader#cod mwii#cod#simon ghost riley x oldersister!reader#??
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any other way
✩ logan howlett/wolverine x reader | fluff | 1.8k
SUMMARY | in which your good friend, wade, ditches your planned movie night, but his roommate offers to watch one with you instead. however, logan ends up falling asleep on your shoulder.
WARNINGS | drinking, kissing, swearing, gets a little steamy/handsy
RATING | teen+
NOTES | it's funny... i've been a big x-men fan for a while, but i never really fell for logan until d&w. if this pops off, maybe i'll write more for him!!!
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“Wade, hurry up and let me in! A girl can only hold freshly popped popcorn for so—oh.”
Instead of your dear, annoying friend, it’s his gorgeous, rugged roommate who answers the apartment door instead. Your eyes sweep over him, taking a liking to how his brown plaid button-up drapes over his white tank top. His clothing choices compliment his sturdy frame and strong pecs. His facial hair is perfectly groomed and—
And it doesn’t help that you have just the teeniest, tiniest crush on him.
“Logan, hey!” you exclaim, a little too enthusiastically. “I didn’t know you were going to be here for movie night too.”
“Wade’s not here, bub,” Logan says, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms and a sympathetic half-smile.
“What?! That little shit said he’d be free tonight…” You sigh, shaking your head. “Well, it’s all good. I’ll just—”
“Did you want to watch a movie with me instead?” Logan offers. You think you hear a hint of hopefulness in his voice. “Since you came out all this way?”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you. I’m sure you’re—”
“Darlin’,” he interrupts with a soft chuckle. Your heart stumbles at the sound. “I have never been more free on a Saturday night. You’re welcome to join me, but only if you’re comfortable with it.”
Now your heart is melting over his kindness. You smile warmly. “I always feel comfortable around you, Logan.”
He returns the smile and gestures for you to come in, offering to take the popcorn and if you want anything as you remove your shoes.
“I got it, but thank you. A beer would be good,” you reply, settling in on one end of the couch in the living room. You glance around curiously. “Is Blind Al not home either?”
“Yeah,” Logan calls from the nearby kitchen, bending towards the open fridge to grab the drinks. “She’s getting, in her own words, ‘turned up’ at the casino tonight.”
You snicker as you browse through streaming services to pick a movie for tonight. Logan returns with a beer in each hand and you’re surprised when he takes the middle seat next to you. You catch a whiff of his scent and it is intoxicating–a blend of woody notes, perhaps leather and pine.
“So what’s the movie for tonight?” Logan asks, taking a sip from his bottle.
“Well, be honest with me here: Wade promised that we could watch this new movie that just released a few days ago, but it’s a romantic movie, so—”
“Of course,” he cuts in with a roll of his eyes, tossing a kernel into his mouth. “That’s his favourite genre.”
You deflate a little. “Okay, with that tone, I’m assuming I will have to change the movie choice.”
“No! Don’t change it because of me,” Logan quickly interjects. “We can watch whatever you want. I’m genuinely content to just sit here and do something other than watching reruns I’ve seen a million times before.”
You study him for a moment, trying to gauge his sincerity. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he reassures you, nodding and flashing another smile. You will yourself to calm your racing heart and focus on finding the movie. Once you select it, you press play and relax into the couch cushions.
Out of nowhere, Logan places his arm around you, his hand slightly hovering above your shoulders. You stiffen at the unexpected move, unsure why he’s doing it. But then he quickly pulls back, shuffling a bit away from you.
“Shit, sorry,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed. “It’s out of habit when I watch stuff.”
“You can leave your arm there,” you blurt out. You don’t even register the words coming out of your mouth. Where was this boldness coming from?
He quirks an eyebrow, amused. “Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm,” you nod fervently, rushing to grab your beer to steady your nerves. Taking a long sip, you try to force your body to relax again.
The first few minutes of the movie starts quite slow, but your eyes are glued to the screen to ensure you don’t miss the exposition. Just as you reach for the popcorn, so does Logan, and the back of your hands brush against each other.
“Sorry,” you both mumble, glancing at each other in awkwardness and something hanging in the air. He juts his chin out with a subtle smirk, gesturing you to go first. You grab a handful, and as he follows suit, his fingers graze against yours, causing you to shiver.
The air in the room is electric, and you wonder if the tension is just in your head or if Logan feels it too. The movie continues, but your thoughts are consumed by the warmth of his body so close to yours and the possibility of what might happen next.
Later into the movie, you freeze as you feel Logan leaning in closer. You turn your head, ready for what might happen–
But then, he goes completely lax, slouching into your shoulder and resting his head in a comfortable position.
“I should’ve chosen a different movie…” you think, shaking your head.
It’s hard to focus on the movie with this gorgeous being asleep on your shoulder (and the movie doesn’t seem to be that great anyway). Towards the end of the movie, your attention drifts completely and you indulge in how Logan sleeps. His soft snoring. The gentle squeezes he gives your shoulder as he dreams. The steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes in and out.
Suddenly, Logan stirs and lifts his head, almost snorting up air cutely. He blinks groggily. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, gorgeous. Did I sleep through the movie?”
You hesitate, hung up on the fact that he called you gorgeous. Your cheeks prickle as you search for the right words to say.
“Yeah, you did,” you whisper with a small smile. “But it’s fine. It wasn’t that great anyway.”
“Mm, figures,” he mumbles. “Did you wanna watch another movie or—”
As he straightens up, you instinctively lean towards him, closing the gap between you two. Your noses practically touch.
“Or did you wanna do…” Logan’s voice is low and gravelly. You hold your breath and hold his gaze. “...something else?”
You barely nod, and he drags you into a searing kiss. His hands cup your cheek and neck with urgency. Soon enough, his tongue dips into your mouth, sending a jolt to your core.
Logan cradles your body and carefully positions you lower onto the couch. The weight of his body pressed up against you sends you into overdrive. His hands dive underneath your shirt, exploring your soft skin. The pressure of his body against yours leaves you breathless. Not only the pressure of his body, but also his—
“Winner winner, chicken dinner!”
Wade’s booming voice cuts through the front door like a tornado, forcing both of you to scramble away faster than opposing magnets. However, it’s too late; Wade has witnessed everything.
“Oh, my God, Blind Al, my plan worked! It fucking worked!” Wade squeals, jumping up and down.
“Oh, no. Are they butt-ass naked on the couch? Times like these, I’m grateful to be blind.”
“No, they’re thankfully fully clothed. But they were just dry humping the shit out of each other though.”
“You ditched movie night on purpose, you asshole!” you screech.
“Hey, you should be thanking me,” Wade retorts with a wink. “You and Wolvie always have had palpable sexual tension every time you were in a room together. Hell, even Laura agreed it’d be a good idea to set you two up.”
Logan and you exchange a sheepish smile, acknowledging the truth in Wade's words.
“Blind Al and I will just be basking in our casino winnings with a few drinks and then we’ll be out of your hair in a few. And then you two can carry on and fuck each other freely on the couch.”
“But keep it down, please,” Blind Al adds with a hint of desperation.
“I probably should get going now,” you chime in, eager to avoid the awkwardness. Logan quickly follows behind, walking you to the front door.
“I’m sorry about all this,” he says in sincerity.
You wave him off. “You never have to apologize for them. They’re like family; I’m used to them.”
“I didn’t know where the night was heading, but—” He turns around to check over his shoulder, lowering his voice and leaning in slightly. “—I’m glad Wade set us up.”
“Heard that!” Wade calls out from inside the apartment.
“Damn it,” Logan mutters, making you giggle. “Anyways, would you let me take you out on a proper date tomorrow night?”
You beam as you reply, “I’d love that.”
“Great, I’ll call you later.”
Logan steps outside of the apartment and closes the door behind him, pulling you in by your waist for another kiss. Innocent at first, but then he presses you up against the wall and his hands grips at your waist, extracting a few moans from you.
“Either get back inside or just go home with her rather than wall-fucking her outside of the apartment!” Wade’s muffled voice echoes through the thin walls.
Logan retreats slightly, his breath warm against your cheek. He keeps his voice low. “And not trying to put pressure on our date tomorrow, but if—”
“If things get heated, let’s go back to my place,” you finish his thought with a soft promise.
His eyes light up with a relieved smile. “You read my mind. Thank you.”
You smile into one last kiss, the world fading away as you savor the sensation of Logan’s mouth on yours.
Until Wade pops his head out through the door like a whack-a-mole you’re dying to hit. “Okay, seriously. I will offer you my bedroom, if you’re really that horny, you guys.” He calls out your name. “Also, did you know he can smell how horny you are?”
“I—what?” you stammer, blinking in confusion.
“Wade, shut the fuck up,” Logan snaps with gritted teeth. He faces you again with a gentle smile. “Have a good night, gorgeous. I’ll call you as soon as you get back home.”
Logan’s a man of his word, almost calling immediately as you stepped foot in your apartment (with Wade providing unnecessary commentary in the background, as always).
Later, as you get ready for bed, you can’t help but admit how grateful you were for Wade’s set-up. If it wasn’t for him, neither of you would’ve made a move; it would’ve progressed at a glacial pace.
Lying in bed and looking up at your bedroom ceiling, you think to yourself how tonight truly was perfect, and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. Smiling, you drift off to sleep, dreaming of what tomorrow’s date might bring.
ENDING NOTES | thank you so much for reading and giving some love! part two can be read here!
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#wolverine fluff#logan howlett fluff
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