#I'll stop there!!!!!

[sainz100]

Max (and Daniel!) in a few 2018 commercials for Jumbo and Esso | x x x

[teleportzz]

"bluntly honest" autism but in the sense that i absolutely cannot refrain from complimenting strangers if i like their earrings or their shirt or i think they have a friendly-sounding laugh or i think their art is beautiful or i think the fic they wrote portrays the characters so well. "bluntly honest" doesn't have to mean "mean". i love to tell people things that are kind and also true.

[telleroftime]

Imagine Sukuna letting you wash his hair. He's never allowed it before but he heard some ladies in high society talk about how their maids washed their bodies for them from time to time and as a man that likes to try everything - he summoned you to the bathing chamber just so that you could do it.

You, the head servant, had simply assumed that Sukuna intended for you to bring him something. Perhaps the oils in the water were not to his liking, or perhaps he forgot a towel. But no, he orders you to wash his hair for him.

He doesn't think he would enjoy it. He stops you a few times during it too, his hand gripping your wrist before he relents. And when you finally lather the products in his hair? He cannot stop the content rumble from leaving his throat. He relaxes against the edge of the water as his back presses more firmly against your knees that stick out over the edge. You're delicate and that surprises him. He's not used to that, even from his concubines.

You comb his hair too, rinsing it with rice water and making sure each knot is brushed out. He likes it. He will never admit that he likes it, but he does. And you know he does when he summons you once per week to do it again and again. And of course, no one else gets the privilege.

[simonbrain]

giving simon the nastiest, sloppiest blowjob because he was being a right cunt all day and he's just so gone. not a single sound parting from his lips except heavy breaths and soft groans, the sounds slightly muffled because he's still wearing his damn balaclava. he doesn't know what to do with his hands; one moment they're twitching by his sides, and the next they find purchase in your hair, not even really gripping because of how weak he is.

he wants to see you because he's missing out on his perfect girl taking him deep down her throat, but he's been reduced to nothing but a caveman. eyes rolled to the back of his head, drool soaking through his mask, not a single thought floating in his head. he looks completely blissed out—he can't even process anything except for the tight squeeze your throat provides and the wet noises and gags coming from you.

you're taking him in so well, letting him mindlessly rut his cock and not minding the way his balls hit your chin or how he's beginning to slur out incoherent things about how good you feel. he doesn't even sound like himself; his voice warbled and choked up as you work him to an orgasm.

don't expect him to be lucid after completely sucking his soul out. the most he'll do is blink slowly at you like a cat while watching you clean him up, unable to vocalise how boneless he feels or how thankful he is for you. he grunts when you ask him if he wants a shower, trying his best to lessen the burden of pulling him up to walk him over to the bathroom.

(and if he becomes coherent again while absolutely ruining you against the shower wall, praising you for taking such good care of him and for putting up with him acting like a wanker all day?

well, you're just happy he's not getting pissy over the littlest things anymore. just don't tease him too much about how he acted earlier; he'll go back to annoying the hell out of you with his attitude.)

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

*after the events of the odyssey*

*telemachus and odysseus walking down to the docks, after odysseus said he'd go sailing with his son*

(listen the man had missed 20 years of his son's life, he could ask ody to dress in drag & do the hula and odysseus would already be shouting "LUAU" in a grass skirt before tele finished his sentence)

telemachus: i'm so excite- *looks ahead*

telemachus: *stops walking* oh no *sad noises*

odysseus: *still walking* what's wrong son?

telemachus: *points to the sea beyond ithaca's shores* poseidon must be angry today, look at the storm in the distance

odysseus: *looks ahead but without worry on his face* no need to worry, we can still go sailing, follow me

telemachus: *confused but follows his dad*

*both make it to the docks*

odysseus: you get started, i've just got something to do & then i'll join you on the ship

*telemachus hops on the ship and odysseus turns to face the sea*

odysseus: *red eyes activate* i'm. going. sailing. with . my. son.

*the sea storm dissipates in record speed*

odysseus: good.

odysseus: *red eyes deactivate*

odysseus: *turns to telemachus smiling like nothing happened* shall we go then?

telemachus: *happy but very confused*

telemachus: *mumbling to himself*what just happened?

[rubikor]

they were her people

[galarrapidash]

Nanami - The capability of First-Grade Sorcerer

[evgar]

decided to redraw and improve this silly thing i did two years ago

here's the two compared like damn the colors on the first what was that 😭

[camberdraws]

I am once again drawing the sinnoh starters

[otiksimr]

Lanturn :)

[zivazivc]

I feel like I have some of the most random headcanons. but I am lowkey obsessed with the fact that John Dory is so much older than Branch that he potentially could have dated their friends'/peers' parents, and/or anything else funny and possibly entertaining that the large age difference entails lmaokskssbcdsbcjdh

edit: part two

[plumbum-art]

Faith and Devotion

[hotcinnamonsunset]

🎣lure me in, baby!

[nosnexus]

This is what it's like having a wife cooler than you

[bumblebeebats]

As much as i love Dungeon Meshi, i do think that given Ryoko Kui's attention to realistic worldbuilding there ought to be a companion series called Dishes Meshi where they spend 2hrs washing and drying and packing away. Alll the goddamnfuck dishes they just made

[bananonbinary]

Crab Day

okay, so here's a new info post from the top.

the problem: tumblr is extremely extremely in debt. the current model is not profitable. this is why they are trying to turn the site into a shit clone of every other social media site, so they can attract new users and their money.

solution: not a ton of people can afford a long-term subscriptions like ad-free. however, many of us CAN afford $3 to inflict crabs on another unsuspecting user. (and those that can't, can still enjoy crabs everywhere)

the idea: in the grand traditions of mishapocalypses and goncharovs and tumblr users' obsession with [random inconsequential thing] Days, we create a fund drive/holiday on July 29th, dubbed Crab Day. buy your friends crabs. buy your enemies crabs. blaze posts. post memes. change ur icon. whatever. actually put your money where your mouth is and show @staff that there actually IS profit motive to listen to the current users about what we want this site to look like. (and yes, that means accessibility features too. we currently have zero leverage to demand these features. let's change that.)

i don't know if this will actually go anywhere. worst case scenario, a few of us have fun, tumblr gets a small amount of money, and nothing changes. best case though, we actually provide incentive to keep our stupid hellsite unique.