#I'll probs update with my thoughts after I see it

[rayes-rain]

BOUGHT MY TICKETS FOR PROVIDENCE!!!!!

[i-cant-sing]

i was just minding my business like scrolling to find new fics to read since i was so so bored and while i was finding some delicious fics (ahem ahem: yandere big brother bakugou x little sister reader) ur post suddenly idk the word (lumitaw (its a filo word)) and i was screaming and immediately dropped what i was supposed to read to read yours 😭😭😭

i got the worst memory ever to exist because i keep forgetting their names but i think i'll grasp them once the next chapter is out (hopefully) but yeaaah!!! baris reminds me of abbas in a way but ig he's a bit more.. brute yk what im talking about????? ig he's ok..

OH! and i have a theory about the painting, y/n's face getting smudged maybe because baldwin or SALAUDDIN decided to smudged it to forget how they look due to heartbroken (prob not baldwin,, but i feel like salauddin would do that ??) i guess im getting married again 😔😔 i feel like im betraying my pookie salauddin 💔💔💔🙏🙏 BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE SNOW!!!! AMAZING AS ALWAYS!! can't wait for the next one already!! 😭😭😭 i think i'll send more of my thoughts if something crosses over my mind (prob when im in the shower)

ooohh i like your theory(portrait pictures at the end). i like it a lot. expanding on it:

Baldwin would probably cause the painting to be smudged because he's kissing it, kissing your lips, drunk off his mind, tears streaming down his cheek as he spends hours sitting in front of it, talking to the painting as if u still exist, begging u to come back from heaven, even apologising for all he's done, just please- come back, angel...

Meanwhile Salauddin would probably be staring at your portrait angrily. He understands why you had to leave but.... you couldnt have told him where you were goinh? Do you not think he couldve protected you? He wouldve used his whole army, gathered Muslims from all around the world to protect you. Did you... did you not have the least bit faith in him? deep down, he knows u did this to prevent a war between him and baldwin but.... Salauddin wouldve gone to war for you. Happily. This wasnt your decision to make alone. Now, he stands in front of your portrait, he has it in his palace now, and he doesnt say voice it out like baldwin, but he has complaints. HE keeps them inside, mentally talking to you, telling you just how stupid you were for sacrificing yourself, for jumping off that stupid cliff. How u shouldve just- just asked him for help ONCE, and he wouldve fought until his last breath if it meant keeping u safe. In his mind, u sacrificed yourself to protect Baldwin from murdering innocent muslims or anyone else u wouldve seeked help from.

And now? All Salauddin can do is pray for you. He wakes up late into the night and sits on the prayer mat, making dua for you for hours, reading Quran for you, has animals slaughtered on eid on your behalf, even doing charity and hajj (pilgrimage) on your behalf, just so that you can have more good deeds in your name. He still has the chess board u gifted him, but he's stopped playing chess. He never played the game again, it was only a painful reminder of you. The one person who he could never beat.

As for your painting, why it was smudged? Salauddin didnt want anyone to see your beauty, thats why he kept the portrait hidden in his room, but then he feared that one day when he's not around anymore, someone will see you. So, he used a rag soaked in turpentine to smudge your face, but couldnt do more than just the bottom half of your face. He thought that was fine, after all, thats how u did often appear when you were around, wearing a niqaab, a veil that covered your face.

Now that he looks at your eyes, he realises his mistake. He heard the wise tell him-

"Eyes are the windows to the soul."

He now knows it to be true.

This is what I think the portraits look like:

Notice that this is the earrings Salauddin gifted Y/n when she was in the market with him:

How Baldwin's been:

[fedoraspooky]

In light of tumblr shooting itself in the foot, I've been thinking about what I should do with my art from now on. Obviously, deleting my old posts off here isn't gonna do shit, it's essentially locking my door after my house got emptied out by burglars. Especially with my old rp account I no longer can log into, they're just gonna steal and sell my old art that I posted there and I can't even flip a questionably-affective toggle about it.

Thing is, I dunno how many people are gonna actually leave. I'm not even sure I will, since I have a lot of friends here... And after so many shitty updates a lot of people are just hanging on out of spite at this point.

That said, I'm considering that for art posts and stuff, maybe I'll post them elsewhere and just link to them here so they're not on tumblr's servers? Idk... Tumblr tends to kill the visibility of links but I'm not really sure what else I can do.

Also, there's the question of where to actually post new stuff. Bluesky seems the most active but I dont know if old posts cut off after a certain amount of posts like twitter does, in which case that would not be a good archive in the long run. xnx

Cohost is functionally pretty close to tumblr, but ngl it seems super isolated on there bc of its commitment to not showing any likes on your posts. I get that its to combat the social media numbers game, but the downside is that it looks like nobody's even seen your work. If people like something of yours there's no way outside of notifs to see it, so scrolling down on your page and seeing only zeros after zeros of comments on stuff (comments are the only visible number), it's easy to feel like you're just posting into a void.

Pillowfort is pretty good, and they just added tag blocking and the ability to queue/schedule posts. Still kinda quiet and invite only, but if you sign up for the invite queue you can get one pretty fast. Also i probaby have a ton of invites sitting around if anyone wants one. I wish it had an app, but mobile web version works well enough I guess, and I'm already used to doing that with sheezy and newgrounds, so I just have those open in mobile tabs together.

Speaking of, Newgrounds has been pretty good, but due to the nature of the portal system and stuff you're more encouraged to post only your better-looking stuff there. You CAN post doodles if you want, but only outside of the portal, which limits their visibility. Kinda like dA's scraps system I guess.

Sheezy looks super promising customization-wise so I'm thinking of posting there more when it opens up to more peeps.

Toyhouse also looks really good for OC and story things too, and also has a good degree of customization.

There's probs options I haven't even thought about, but its good to know there ARE options. I may post in several of those places for now and see how it goes. Test the waters a bit.

If you're thinking of moving your art elsewhere lemme know where, I'm curious to see where people are going :o

Especially you moots, i need to refind my pals in these other places!

[hyachan-works]

Happy New Year, everyone! 🥂🎇

Time is advanced here so I thought I'd greet y'all early than to forget it later 😅

But anyway!

Here's a progress update on the Sinclair Family portrait from one of my favorite wenclair fics in AO3. Most of it is still sketched out and I have yet to decide on the type of chair Esther is sitting on 😅 I'm struggling to keep the lineart and quality consistent since I only work on this during my free time (which is almost none at all 🥲)

After this, I'll probably do the following:

1) Animatic of a scene from the fic

2) Make fanart from It's a Mechanical Bull (also from AO3) for you know... some of that smut stuff. Will probs make a dedicated account for smut content tho... just to keep things organized uwu

3) Doodle some wenclair college au stuff

4) Actually do the Halloween and Christmas fanart I loosely mentioned before

See y'all next year!

Okay that was lame but whatever

[c4l4mityv4in]

The cute Witch boy flying outside my window (A Haikyuu fanfic)

Chapter 2: "My name is Shoyo Hinata"

Notes:

Looking back at this Chapter after a few weeks, I hate the way I wrote trans Hinata and wish I would ve gone with the original plan which I'm probably gonna use once I write the fic from Hinata's POV

Trigger Warning: mentions of Homophobia, Transphobia and violence against people of the LGBTQIA+ community

"Dear Diary

If you asked me how my day was I'd say: "I don't fucking know", I barely payed attention in class and practice after losing a match is always frustrating. I ran straight home after practice, even ignored the captain wanting to buy us snacks like he usually does. I stayed by the window for hours... and then I saw the crow and I heard the bell approaching

"Should I say something?"

"Should I be quiet?"

', I asked myself.

The bell got slower, as if Shoyo was trying to be quiet. Our eyes met as he finally flew past my window.

"Hi!" I said trying to sound cool

"Were you waiting for me?" He asked, I couldn't tell if he was trying to make fun of me for it by the sound of his voice.

My face turned red. What was I even expecting waiting for him like some creep? "Um...I-I kinda... yes?"

He got closer to me: "You're cute you know that?

Come on let me in"

He took his shoes off, the crow stayed by the windowsill as me and Shoyo chatted.

"I'm sorry I was acting like a creep and waiting for you earlier...um, I just...didn't ask you to come back and thought you were just a dream", that sounded fucking stupid! He looked at me dead serious and went: "I'd love to be the boy of you dreams" Diary when I tell you I was about to spontaneously combust I mean it! Why is that happening? Why do I feel like I'm on another planet every time I think of him or hear his voice!? It makes no sense to me”

"Dear Diary,

It's been a few weeks, summers here and Shoyo comes by every night. I asked Sugawara about the way I was feeling. He says I might have a crush and I don't know how to feel about that. Does Shoyo even like boys?

Should I ask him if he likes boys? What if he calls me slurs like those boys in middle school?.. No he would never, he has no cruelty in his heart. He comes by every night and we hang out and every time he stays until I fall asleep and he's gone the next day.

He always comes around 10pm, I'm grown used to the sound of his bell.

I also got used to him crashing into my closet that's in front of the window cause apparently he's too lazy to just say "Hello may I come in?". I started putting pillows in front of it so he doesn't hurt himself. I'll update you

once he gets here

.

.

.

We watched "Mamma Mia!" this time (which is totally not linked to the Author having watched the movie for the first time a few hours ago and developing a new hyper fixation, the Author), we stayed up all night recreating all the choreographies and sang all the songs...and then we got to lay all your love on me, and we were close, very close, so close I could have kissed him. The music stopped and the moment ended, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement. "I like the view", Shoyo said jokingly (?), he basically climbed on top of me. "Get off shorty! Let me see what's wrong with this damn CD", I was frustrated! Would he have kissed me if the music didn't stop? "What's wrong with it?" he asked. "I don't think it's the CD I think it's the stereo. Guess it's about time I buy a new one" I answered. He looked disappointed and then he focused on my face, not my eyes tho, lower. "I guess we should go to sleep then, good thing it's Saturday

tomorrow" I took some pijamas, changed in the bathroom and then lied right next to him. Before I knew it, the words slipped out of my mouth "Do you wanna go out with me?" I froze. Why did I even say that? "Sure! When?" I didn't want to lie to him and say I wanted a hang out as friends. "I mean...like a date", I swallowed and awaited a response.

"Yeah, I know that's what you meant. I've been flirting with you probably since the first time we met" I felt like a stone that had been sitting on my chest just disintegrated, I was relieved to say the least."

"Dear Diary,

The date was good, then bad, then I felt like I was on another plane of existence.

Let me break it down for you, I got ready for the date and waited for that talking crow to call me to tell me where to pick Shoyo up, "Aye! Resting bitch face! Ya ready!", Woodpecker's voice still sounded like a chainsmoker muppet getting strangled and honestly we got used to insulting each other. Once I got outside he guided me into the woods to what looked like a perfectly normal tree, he told me to knock on it and so I did.

The trees changed shape and a huge hole opened up covered by a curtain "Come in!" I heard Shoyo yell. I entered took off my shoes and took in how big the inside actually was: "This place is so cool, Shoyo!"

"Thank you! Did you bring me those clothes you said you had for me? I only have traditional witch garments", he asked, I pulled out a shirt, shorts and swim trunks out of my tote bag for him, his face changed color as soon as he saw that last thing. "Is everything alright?" I asked, concerned "It's just...look if we're gonna date I might as well tell you...I am trans, and I have scars on my chest...", he said visibly nervous

"I don't care whether you're cis or not, I want to date you!"

, I responded

"But...there is a lot of bad things that happen to trans people all the time just cause they exist, I'm scared that...if I go to the pool or the beach and take my shirt off.. will I be the next face to end up on the news?", he was holding back tears. I didn't know what to say, I could only hug him and tell him that I would never allow that to happen to him and that anyone who'd like to hurt him would have to pass over my dead body to do so.

"Can I just keep my shirt on? I don't care whether we go to the pool or the beach I'm both planning on swimming anyway", he asked, tears streaming down his face. "Of course you can! I wasn't going to force you to do anything anyway we can literally just take a stroll on the beach if you prefer that!", I said.

"T'd love that", Shoyo responded

"Can I ask where your parents are?", I was curious since I saw nobody other than Shoyo in this house.

"I don't know, I don't remember my parents, I ran off into the woods one night after a walk with my parents, got lost found a shiny stone that turned me into a witch and... the memories faded away, elder witches took care of me for awhile then I found Woodpecker and I started living alone, they say that they can always make me a human again but...", he touched his chest "would that mean I'd be a girl again? I don't want that to happen!", he explained.

"I can't tell you what to do but...I say you should go with your gut", I suggested

Our date started with a snack trip to the grocery store. Me and Shoyo were at the drinks ile whenwe heard a woman yell: "Natsu Hinata come back right now!"

A little girl bumped into Shoyo's leg, they looked eerily similar, same hair color, same bone structure, same dumb look in their eyes. "I'm so sorry you two, she just ran off without warning I hope she didn't hurt you when she ran into you", said the girl's mother, she also looked eerily similar to Shoyo, as they left her turned to me with a shocked look

"Hinata...", he mumbled under his breath.

"My name is Shoyo Hinata"

I looked at him, dumbfounded: "You mean those two right there were..."

"Most likely...I guess I have a sister"

He just stared into nothing for a while before coming back to his senses, "I'll deal with that later! Let's focus on our date first!", he took my hand and I felt like a storm of butterflies exploded in my stomach trying desperately to find a way out, we were both extremely red, his face had this adorable dorky grin I wish I could look at for the rest of eternity. After shopping we went down to the beach to have our picnic, there were lots of changing cabins and lots of people too, as soon as we set up our spot I heard a voice calling my name:

"Kageyama!!"

", yelled Tanaka from afar. "Tanaka-

senpai! Didn't expect to see you here", behind him stood a short boy with wet hair of two different colors: "Nishinoya-senpai! I haven't seen you in ages!" Nishinoya had scars on his chest, similar to what I think Hinata's chest must look like, I knew about it, I saw him once in the changing room before he stopped playing.

(Reminder that in this fic, Hinata never convinced Asahi to come back/called him inside the gym so both him and Nishinoya aren't part of the team anymore)

"Nice seeing you again, man!", said Nishinoya

"Who's the short fry?", asked Tanaka

"This is Shoy....Shoyo Hinata, he's my-"

"I'm his date!", he interrupted me

Tanaka whistled, "I didn't know you had a boyfriend, Kageyama!", he teased

I blushed, I would love to call Shoyo my boyfriend one day but it was simply too early, "It's just a first date, calm down!"

This next thingvis going to be a little butchered, Shoyo told me about a conversation he had with Nishinoya while I was bickering with Tanaka,

"How are you saw confident about them?", Shoyo asked him

"About what?", Noya was confused by the question

"Your top surgery scars, how are you not scared of someone attacking you just for existing?", Shoyo explained himself. Noya seemed to pause for a moment,

"If I live in fear of being myself in public, what's the point of going out? These kind of things can happen anywhere even in your own home, just cause there is a chance someone will go Psycho on me I'm not going to change myself to please others! I'm a man dammit! And people will see that I'm proud of being trans whether they like it or not!", Noya's eyes gleamed, according to Shoyo the fire in his eyes could have put the flames of hell to shame.

"But what if it DOES happen?"

', Shoyo was still in his state of paranoia

"There is no nice way to say this really and the chance of that happening isn't even that high, the Americans are the ones we should worry about the most, soif you were to "go" tomorrow, would you rather be ashamed of

who you are in life and regret it in death or would you rather be proud of your identity till your clock stops ticking?", Nishinoya's words were enough to

move something inside Shoyo, he took his shirt off, we swam in the sea, i felt like shit cause 1 remembered why I hate sea-water, salt gets everywhere and all the sand sticks to your legs but overall we had fun

"Are you sleeping over? I wouldn't mind actually having you by my side when I wake up for once, you can use our shower to wash up if you want", I asked him

"What about your parents? Won't they mind?", he asked me, he held my hand as we walked back.

"Nah, they're never home, it's always just me and my older sister and she's been begging for me to bring home someone I like", I explained

"So you like me?", he said in a teasing tone

"What if I do?", I playfully clapped back.

Shoyo snickered a little under his breath

"Stay still for a second", he asked me.

He went up a few of the stone steps in feont of my house, leaned forward and kissed me... on the cheek.

I wasn't upset about it but my lips were literally two centimeters away.

"Can you open the door?", he asked me as if nothing happened.

[blueredg52]

I DESPERATELY NEED DATING ADVICE OR ANY WORDS OF WISDOM BECAUSE I'M GOING CRAZY RN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My situation [FxF]:

Last night, I went clubbing with my roommate and her friends and had an amazing night (as we always do after going to our local gay club). Before heading home, we stopped by our popular local pizza shop on our college campus to get some food to sober up a little. I didn't get any food, but my friends did so I waited with them.

While waiting, 3 girls were talking about what to get because one girl, who I will name Red Shirt, was debating whether to get a slice of pizza or cheese fries. This pizza shop is known for having horrible pizza unless drunk. For some reason, I went up to them and told them that I don't get their pizza ever, but I get their cheese fries because the sauce is good and it's one of the cheaper items on the menu. Plz know I'm an extreme introvert and won't willing go up to talk to people, but I was also a little tipsy and a little more social. After hearing what I had to say, the 2 other girls besides Red Shirt agreed and then I went back to my friends.

A few minutes later, Red Shirt comes up to me and tells me one her friends (I'll refer to her as P) thinks I'm cute and asks me if I'm single. I say yes because I'm very very very very single. Then, Red Shirt gets my snapchat for P. I also told Red Shirt to let P know that I thought she was also cute. I tried my best to keep myself calm and collected BECAUSE THIS HAS LITERALLY NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE.

Next, my friends and I are talking about Chappell Roan because we got our fav DJ to play Chappell in the club. The 3 girls then come up to us and we start talking about Chappell. For context, I didn't directly talk to P or make direct eye contact BECAUSE PRETTY GIRLS INTIMIDATE ME AND I SHUT DOWN. WE DIDN'T EVEN EXCHANGE NAMES 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

When my friends got their food we headed home and said "Have a good night!" to these girls as we were leaving. Before falling asleep (around 3:30 am), I dm her saying hi and introducing my name because we didn't exchange names. Throughout the whole day I was very giddy and I kept checking my snapchat to see if she responded.

SHE HASN'T READ OR OPENED MY MESSAGE

Around 12pm today, I told myself that she probs is still asleep or busy because she probs went to sleep late. Then around 7pm, I started to get sad, but I told myself that it's final exam week and she has other things to attend to. But she still hasn't responded at 8pm and I did cry.

Any way, I threw out my pride and ego and sent her a snap directly telling her I thought she was cute around 9:30pm. I also apologized if I seemed awskward or disinterested in her because I was in shock and an introvert. After I sent the snap, I turned off my snapchat notifications because I'm scared of rejection and heartbreak.

THIS IS ME SHOOTING MY LAST SHOT AND IF SHE DOESN'T RESPOND, THEN I'LL KNOW SHE'S NOT ACTUALLY INTERSTED.

I'm actually really sad because it was hot that she pulled me last night and she is definitely my type physically. My roommate found her insta and knew people who followed her. She then got some info about her from people she knew and while I only got vague info about her, nothing bad was said. I told my roommate that she still hasn't responded around 4pm and she could tell I was sad about it and so we watched Killing Eve for a few hours to make me feel better.

Be honest, is this what dying feels like??!!?!?

FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW IF I'M ACTUALLY CRAZY, I SHOULDN'T EXPECT A QUICK RESPONSE, OR IF I FUMBLED IT.

I'm also the type of person who responds to messages asap, so maybe I shouldn't expect other people to do the same thing. I don't even know P so maybe I'm making this a bigger deal than it actually is. For context, I just want yall to know that I'm not good with dating and I've never been in a situationship or a relationship ever and maybe I'm just naive.

If you're interested, I'll give an update sometime tomorrow and if she still hasn't responded, I'm going to cry in my room after I take a final exam.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

okay hiii!! I’ve actually never sent an anon message before but I just had so many questions abt the future of your series (which I’ve been reading since the early days btw and have loved every installation). very silent reader over here!!!

but I wanted to ask, if you’re able to share (and i sincerely hope no one’s asked this yet, if they have I’m sorry for the repeat!!) did you have plans yet for how you’re going to handle Daeron moving forward?

ofc he’s not in the show (yet? at all? who knows!!) but within your series you have reader babey take daeron as a ward on Dragonstone, which places him far closer to team black than he originally was in the books. so I was just wondering if you had any plans yet (that you’re able to share) about Daerons allegiance moving forward.

so these are just a few little questions I have, totes understand if you can’t answer them cause of spoilers: do you plan to have Daeron switch sides so that he stays true to his Green-allegiance in the books, or will you have him diverge from his book counterpart and swear fealty to Nyra? would Daeron go back to Alicent and the greens at any point so that he would be loyal to Aegon once Viserys kicks the can? does Tessarion exist within ur fic (sorry if it’s already been stated that she does and I’m just forgetting) and do you have plans for her?

also a lil more overall and totally understand if you can’t answer this but do you think your fic is going to have the dance end the same way as it does canonically (within the books at least)? and can we expect to see Babey fighting at all?

OKAY that’s a lot I’m sorry but questions have built up over so long of being a silent reader!!! love your work so much you truly are such an inspiration when it comes to writing, especially HotD writing!! Can’t wait to see where it goes!!!

-the biggest die hard Rhaenyra stan nonnie you will ever encounter

Hello, Rhaenyra Stan! It's so lovely to hear from you! I'm so thrilled you're reaching out, and I'm so happy you've been enjoying the fic!

To be quite honest, my plans concerning Daeron tend to fluctuate between him remaining a somewhat neutral party (think sending him to the Vale with the lil kids) or as a fully-fledged Blacks member. I think it'd add some really interesting additional conflict and a cool sub-plot in that Daeron has to war with his full-blood relatives in favour of his half-blood relatives. Tessarion does exist! She's mentioned in the third instalment, I wanna say.... Chapter 9? In the convo Reader has with Alicent on Driftmark just after the funeral.

I can't spoil the end of the fic, unfortunately, but I think the ending will be a just one for our principal character. That's all I'll really say there. And I do want to have Babey fighting given who she rides, but I'm still thinking through where exactly I want to place her in the grand scheme of things. I'm hesitant to have her replace anyone's role in any notable conflicts, but that also means I have to come up with some sort of sub-plot or deviation to give her a meaningful battle scene that doesn't detract from the original characters, but ALSO does justice to the Cannibal given his aggression and intimidation factor. To kill someone or not to kill someone? And who? Is it tides-turning? Hm. I'm not good with military planning, so I'll probs be bugging the audience with random questions at 4am on a Saturday about it, lol.

Thank you so much for this lovely ask, nonnie. I'm so grateful that you've been lurking for so long, and it's always amazing to me to see peeps enjoying this silly little brain fart of mine. I am pushing out updates slowly, but by the end of it all I hope it'll be a behemoth of swag I can come back to and think happy thoughts of. I hope it'll continue being enjoyable for you, too.

I hope I've answered these questions as satisfyingly as possible! Love ya!

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[borathae]

Girls do you have a dating advice? I'm coming here because I like that this space doesn't cater to overrated stupid gender roles.

I like this guy on my campus and I felt he might too so ended up asking him out for a coffee! He agreed very enthusiastically and chose a lovely café. I felt very comfortable with him but I'm not sure if he considered it a a coffee with a friend. He did share that he's an introvert and he doesn't go out much because he's sober now and that he's shy. He said he wished the coffee meetup was longer he did text me to stay warm and kept the conversation going for a few days after sharing little updates about his day, telling me twice that he really enjoyed talking to me and thought I was smart. Then silence. I reached out, he was very sweet again and we texted briefly. Then silence again for a week.

My question is should I ask him out again or do I wait for him to reciprocate this ? I'm willing to try if it's shyness but I don't want to be the girl that thinks this is something that it isn't. I truly don't mind his shyness but I'm scared he's just being polite and sweet to an acquaintance and that's it.

as an introvert myself who rarely texts back right away, this could just be him being an introvert. After a full day of living in an extrovert ruled world, it can get pretty tiring for us and answering people's texts is sometimes already too much mental work to do even if we really care about the person. also, once we do have free time and time to noone but ourselves, we don't wanna ruin the healing time by making mental space for other humans even if it's just texts, so we'll just tell ourselves "I'll get to that later, I gotta have me time rn". so yeah that could be why there is long pauses in between texting. it's probs not you but him recharging his batteries.

straight men don't tell an acquaintance that they wanted the meetup to be longer and that they enjoyed the talk. bro all my male straight friends are the driest motherfuckers ever despite genuinely caring for our friendship. Most men don't say stuff like that and he's just an acquaintance for now. There's even less reason for him to be that lovey dovey with you other than that he wants to give you romantic hints.

you were strangers (sort of) before you asked him and he agreed enthusiatically. you weren't friends just agreeing on a lil friend date in a local café, you guys were strangers who met up with the goal of getting to know each other better. which also brings me back to point two. he didn't really know you before your meet up, he didn't have any sort of unspoken friendship friendliness rule of "tell your friends you liked the hangout" to follow.

Yes ask him out. we've long stopped waiting for men to make the first move. if you wanna see him again, do it. he'll probably appreciate it because of his shyness.

if it doesn't work out, hell you experienced life and made fucking stories to tell later. you won't die from it and will only come out more mature.

if it works out, congrats you just gave yourself a chance to a (potentially) happy romance. enjoy it.

Sorry if my advice sucked, I think I'm still not back to my full potential. If anyone of you wants to leave advice as well, do so hahaha cause I think mine was very mediocre. i also wanna say that dude idk i think i'm still too sad about what happened to really think clearly. sorry if all my answers were shit, it's because i still feel like shit from bangtan leaving.

[vanilllaicecream]

ive tried to watch skam to 'forbedre' my norwegian, i since failed because it was a snorefest

so i've decided to watch something that is on par with my hyperfixation and exactly describes my experiences here

LILYHAMMER

(me wearing my norge sweater and trying to look native as possible)

ok so im gonna yap so warning

tw me being awfully rude to norwegians and making fun of them

i watched only ep1 and 2 so ill update it when I have the time ok lessgo

naming it lilyhammer after his dog is funny asf (i can make a joke about my city but i'll prob dox myself)

seeing silvio from sopranos made my life better love you silvio

the train scene is so true, i hate the boys here i can't explain how uninteresting they are (rude, look dirty with them low waisted pants, they way they talk and how they are so... je ne sais que... lazy)

i also hate nav and im grad that ill never step there in the near future... awful way of treating foreigners, especially of they don't know any languages (case with my uncle and dad who had to manage with just broken english - our country was only sunny beach and drugs to nordmann ig)

also about nav, it's a very shit way to get a dnummer and if you need one just straight up tell them like I had to go and talk weeks in skatetatten and then poof i gottit

next up - norskkurset (the bane of my existence) and that nav guy is so disgusting like ugh, so i haven't been in jobbsøkerkurs so idk how is it but my uncle says it's just telling you how to not act and be norwegian as possible

its interesting how everyone knows eachother (i thought lillehammer was bigger?)

the hospital scene is so true bc my fam ofter has problems with the hospital and atp we've probably cursed the whole industry in norway (very dumb people despite having high education)

also everyone talking to silvio in norwegian and him answering in english is so me (i try but it's so hard ans they mostly look me the wrong way)

also... having slavic immgrants is always funny to me (seeing every 3rd person being polish/ukrainian)

silvio knowing norwegian for 2 days is so unrealistic to me but hey it is a comedy (someone show him karense rq)

tbh i love this show pls don't flame me

biker gangs are so funny to me cuz they can't even have mafia here, the rules are to strong

bulling is so strange-ly handled here tf you mean we gotta handle this by talking my parents will tell me to beat the shit outta them (my teacher too)

ok rant done norwegians please don't hate me i love svineribbe, i love jul and i certainly love when stores have the same fucking three colors for clothes ok??

also, im glad to live here, no i will not move, but goddamn please listen to us when we say your county has a big discrimination problem

[1d1195]

✨part two✨

Okay sooo finally got to read the Honey and Most updates and I’m going insane!!! Idk where to begin lol

I’m most definitely NOT mad the way this last part of honey ended or even turned out! If anything this made those most sense for them! I was so devastated when she started to tell how she ended up being a nanny 💔 also CODY?!? Never trust a guy named that 😭 anyways fuck him 😊 how could he basically try to manipulate her into finding that “family” need somewhere else when all she wanted to do was have one of her own and then HIM FUCKING CHEATING ON HER AND STARTING A FAMILY WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?!? HELLO?!???? I love when we get a good backstory for your characters especially when they are so devastating 💔 though it of course makes so much sense as to why she’s like that obviously! And ugh I wish she was able to pursue her own dreams(I’m sure she will) but also that undertone of her not seeing herself being able to have her dream career and home life is so💔💔 the sperm donor part TRAGIC BC SHE IS SO LOVED! Though there is absolutely nothing wrong if people choose that route! (I’ve thought about that too!) and tbh I didn’t expect Harry to immediately beg her to give him a chance bc he is also kinda emotionally unavailable lol but I’m so excited to see how they will play out because I know you’ll never fail me!!!!! Loved it of course!

Now the most extra… I NEED HIM BAD😩😩😩 he’s so omg bestie you don’t even know! When I was younger I loved firefighters so him being just so perfect is so😭 he’s so down bad and I love when that happens! And I loved how we got a glimpse of the MC being so vulnerable when expressing how much she missed him😭 that detail of never sleeping alone 😭 and THEM TALLING ABOIT MARRIAGE😭😭😭 I will die when or if we get to read that😭😭 loved this so much like you do fluff and just sweet romantic stuff so much😭😭!!

Oh Sam you don’t even know how I was weak in the knees when I saw him😭 the motivation I got for that class actually went up lol

Anyways I’ve missed you lots Sam!! Was a really busy week but hopefully now it won’t be too bad! Hope grocery shopping went well! And I hope this past week treated you well too! Have you done anything fun recently? Hope this weekend is a bit relaxing! Love you lots!!!-💜

I am seriously running out of names but I've never met anyone that likes Cody. Idk how they exist. Tragically, I love the name Josh and Ben but I fear those are also red flag names. I really wasn't intending to make her background so tragic but I was struggling to put something down for this part and I was like "FUCK IT MAKE HER SAD" I tell my bf all the time if he died (lol) or we broke up I would refrain from another relationship. I would most likely just do the sperm donor route. I thought Harry caved kinda easily too, but I had someone message me about a prequel if you will for Honey and it's literally such a good idea, I can't wait to thank them profusely when I write it. I think it will be the first extra and it will kinda make sense why he caves so quickly after the fact. I am glad this part was okay. I'm still a bit nervous about the last two parts, but we shall see!

Honestly, I'm lowkey sick of writing about weddings 😂 almost all of my couples I've been writing about are married, I think. Or at least, they all act married. So idk if I'll write about their wedding. I think it would probs be similar to my Zipper wedding. I think she would be to nervous to do the whole thing in front of everyone--especially out of her guilt for leaving for a few years. I think she would feel like everyone is judging her. But I don't think Harry would care either way. He's so in love with her he would probably agree to getting married in the middle of a tornado if she asked. I also love firefighters. I think they're cute af (like personality, not physically, although they're good at that too). It's like someone just put a bunch of golden retrievers in one space and told them to literally put out fires. It's cute 🥰

Have I done anything fun? Hmm... no not really. I read my book last week and I've been spending money I shouldn't. But other than that, not really. I've been trying to lesson plan but my brain is not focusing. I've got my sweet treat and everything and nothing is working. 😭 I still have till like Wednesday to get some stuff done but I'm an early bird when it comes to due dates so this is cutting it close for me tbh 😭 We're planning a game night and a trip to Salem this month. I'm so amped that it's fall. It's making me think more and more about My Friend's Toyota. May have to revisit them next! I'm hoping to write a bit more but yeah. Nothing crazy!

LOVE YOU! Hope you are having a good weekend! 💕 Also, do you have classes every day? I know you commute and you're not crazy far, but do you only go on certain days or do you have a full 5-day schedule?

xoxo



[nathank77]

4/8/24

4:37 p.m added to at 4:54 p.m

I woke up like 10 minutes ago. I kept dreaming I woke up at 7 p.m or 7:30 and slept through therapy... I struggled to fall back to sleep when I woke up at 12:30... I took a Benadryl and everything and it took me until bare minimum almost 2 p.m to get back to sleep..... Therapy was at 4:30 she moved it to 5:30 bc of the eclipse.

I fell asleep initially just on the half MG of xanax... it took a little longer than usual, I was only going to give myself a total of 15 to 30 minutes max before I took benadryl but luckily I passed out by like, 8:15 or 8:30 a.m.

Anyways I woke up to a call from Walmart about the water bottle incident. I'm terrified to call back. The call is directly from the store I go to rather than corporate.... I'm worried they'll tell me I can't do it and then I'll have to go to another Walmart just to buy waters cause I'm always going to do it until someone else picks out the waters for me or I get a fridge water maker thing that's kept clean. I actually have one of those but orange nasty-ness came off of it once after about a year and my mother I don't trust she will ever replace the straw and assembly...

But whatever my next closest Walmart is prob 20 minutes away... and I buy water once every 2 weeks. I feel like a criminal and I'm scared to call back. I'm sick of being the mentally ill guy with the strange behavior.

Idk if I'm going to call corporate with my reference number and ask for an update or call the store directly. All I know is as it stands I absolutely cannot handle to be told that my mental illness is strange and so is my behavior and I'm not allowed to buy water there. I can't deal with any more dehumanization. I always buy the damaged packs to me they are the perfect packs...

So I'll do it when I can hear you can't come here anymore....

I kept having all these weird thoughts about len crafters. If I believed in mental messages, I'd think Elise was telling me to go there.... I mean I didn't receive any thought that was like strange or random but I just kept seeing the store in my brain and thinking you should go to lens crafters....

But I don't want to, I want to get the kohl's stuff and buy those sneakers. That's why it doesn't feel like its my thoughts.

If Elise was here and she was reading everything I know she'd want me to go to lens crafters.

But I'm so done with glasses and I don't think being able to see is that important when I look like a nerd.

I had a weird thought that glasses aren't supposed to be stylish, they are supposed to help you see... but I mean yea that's my brain trying to say Elise sent that...

[gnomewithalaptop]

Ok, finally getting to those other Asks I wanted to do. So the TAU blog reblog of ur "The last time I saw you (you were so young)" fic post, u said this: "'LISTEN I know I’m meant to be working on that one longfic but my mother told me a story about my deceased grandmother & then I just blacked out and wrote this idk what to tell you", I thought for a sec, u were talking about: "The Man Who Knew the Future You" (I love the idea of Alcor meeting a past Mizar; prob. so weird for both, lol), 2/?.

(Continuing on from my Last Ask(s)): , but then I realized u were prob. talking about "Cue the Sun" instead actually, which I found out from the Ask from toothpastecanyon asking: "What is cue the sun? 👀" (having trouble linking links), & now, I am obsessed w/ that idea/it. Like, a civil war, a R!Ford Mom having a R!Gideon (of all people) Troubled teen of all people (it's also cool to see more Ford & Gideon stuff in TAU & R's of them too), trying to find something to win the civil war 3?/?.

(Continued from Last Ask(s) again, sorry for how many Asks): , but then them finding like a 2016 (I think it was 2016) Gravity Falls and meeting a skeptical and/or sus. Stan (Stan meeting reincarnations of his brother and enemy and/or past enemy, man, oh man) and the OG Mystery Twins (Dipper and Mabel, right? Awesome. That/This should be very fun), and they all think it is 2016, and not, 7098 (man, the year differences is gonna be strange &/or confusing for everyone), &/or etc. 4?/?

(Continued from my Last Ask(s) again): Like, sign me up for "Cue the Sun"! And it is gonna be a longfic (probably)? Like, even if it wasn't, I would still be interested in it, but it being a longifc is even better (as a Gravity Falls, TAU, and/or etc. fan even more esp.). The map(s) u did for "Cue the Sun", & the thought u are putting into "Cue the Sun" is amazing. 4 or 5?/?. The next 1 should hopefully be my Last Ask. I didn't realize the/my Asks would get this many.

(Continued from my Other Asks. Just 1 more after this): Is there any more "Cue the Sun" posts besides that Ask I mentioned in my other Ask(s)? When I try searching up "cue the sun" on ur blog, this is all I get "Sorry, no results for cue the sun". I didn't even get that Ask I talked about, that literally has "cue the sun" in the Ask. Tumblr's Search can be so bad sometimes. Anyways, really excited for "Cue the Sun", whenever that is. & I love ur other TAU fics and posts too! 5 or 6?/?.

(original cue the sun post)

Oh dude. Dude. Never apologize for sending too many asks -- getting this in my inbox literally made my day. To your first question: yes! The longfic in question is Cue the Sun -- I'm still working through it rn, and I'm hoping to start publishing sometime this summer/fall -- woot woot graduation time! Right now, it's looking to be about 6-7 long-ish chapters? Which is def a longfic in my book lol (I'm trying to get it all written out before I start posting -- that way I can keep with a consistent update schedule)

I am SUPER excited about it though -- I've been having a blast working through the twists and turns of it all and making sure all the pieces fit together (and dropping Easter Eggs to as many other pieces of TAU lore as possible lmao)

But yes! OG Mystery Twins are 16-17 y/o Mabel and Dipper Pines, Stan is extremely sus (but lbr that's par the course for him), and Olya and Fatima (r!Gideon and r!Ford) are about to have the worst week of their lives.

Featuring: dead sisters who haunt the narrative, utopian society models gone wrong, weapons of mass destruction, the long-term effects of magical radiation (i.e. what happens when you stick a Chernobyl disaster inside Gravity Falls), and narratively significant golf carts

FINALLY: you can find all my writing posts under #this-is-gnomes-writing-tag, but since you're the second person to express interest in this fic, I'll start tagging Cue the Sun stuff with #cue the sun. Right now there isn't really much there (read: it is a barren wasteland) bc I tend to just vague post about things, but I'll make sure to tag any future excerpts/asks/milestones

[kewltie]

final countdown: day 1

'ello,

my plan for this oct and prob-def into nov is to TRY to work on social media au everyday. even if im just changing a color or fixing the fucking tables or something. progress is the key and i need to get it done in jan for my bday. so i'll be daily updating about my progress. sometimes i'll make leaps and bounds and other time i'll prob just stare at the page for a min or two before closing the tab. and some other times i might be too busy so we'll see lol.

anyway, today i just c&p the r/fandomwank sub format and changed it to r/heroes. i decided for whatever reason their sub is going to have all might's awful color palette. i had to look up the exact color hex codes to all might and then having to figure out what color would look best with X, Y, or Z.

it didnt take me too long to realize all might's colors were obnoxiously loud and really clashing but i was like fuck, imma stick to it bc it's funky and i like to think the fans like that it's kinda funky too in honor of all might. after that i pulled up references of other sub on reddit to make sure i get the gist of what it should look like and how to write certain headlines for post bc thought i lurk on reddit but only occasionally. im not a native and i like to try to ya know get some accuracy even if not perfect bc im fucking anal like that and it will drive me crazy if something doesnt feel right.

so far decent progress for day 1. idk if thats a good sign or not but tmr i have a 10hrs class so i can get my acls cert so i dont think i will be doing much work on this... well i guess we'll see.

[euphoricfilter]

I'M SO ANNOYED AT THIS ANON. HOW DID THEY MAKE SUCH A TRASH TAKE ON THE BEST FIC EVER WTF??! DID THEY READ PROPERLY WTF?? OR UNDERSTAND HOW LOVE, JEALOUSY, AND OTHER EMOTIONS WORK?? They sound so pathetic omg. Why did they "read" this fic and then say the worst things omg? Hollyhomburg is so much nicer than me for calmly explaining it so well in their reply.

Ooh this ask gets so long. Sorry lol. I love bily so much omg. Tempted to send this or shorter (and prob nicer lol) version of this to hollyhomburg but they haven't replied to my ask on agreeing about the "manipulative" mc thing so idk hm. (They do seem to be answering more asks recently though wow)

Thoughts on this ask and the stuff I say further down?

Tbf I misunderstood Jimin with his last secret. Update: I think I don't dislike him anymore after getting to understand how he handles self-hatred. It's so sad TT I stil think Jimin and mc need to talk about it more for Jimin's sake and have some 1-on-1 bonding to fully resolve this issue for me though. They've felt awkward and distant since Tae's secret came out imo. We get Yoongi and Tae in the next ch though yay!! Sad that not every relationship is happy and romantic rn. But it's realistic that some relationships are slower to develop than others. And hollyhomburg would prob struggle to write a bunch of relationship developments at the same time. People (including me lol) need to be patient. and trust in the love and care the pack has for each other.

And the mc being "manipulative" part is instinctual to her according to hollyhomburg. It's understandable that people feel confused or interpreted it wrongly. But mc is a precious lil baby. I don't think it's bad that she is "manipulative" by acting cute and appealing to the alpha's instincts. Both sides are happy when she's being cute and lovely. (Did I interept this right??) And she doesn't have any ulterior motives at any point of the fic imo. Hollyhomburg also said this and that most of it is just how Jimin sees it. Jimin is just a paranoid boy :/

And Yoongi is a sweet boy. And Yoongi and mc went through some TRAUMA. (the trauma and how it affects them was written so well. how can you not understand and love these 2 omg) YOONGI HAS BEEN WORKING FOR MONTHS (AND STILL IS WORKING) ON MAKING A PERFECT CUSTOM COMFY HOUSE FOR ALL OF THEM! ACTS OF SERVICE KING. And there is so much explained in the fic about these two compared to Jimin and the other boys. I will only agree that Yoongi seems distant to the other boys and it's kinda sad. But I believe that they all love and care for each other. And the relationship between Yoongi and the boys will slowly develop into a happy, loving relationship again.

Was I too harsh on this anon? (I may have gotten too emotional idk. I am very protective over irl and bily Yoongi as well as bily mc so yeah lol. Hollyhomburg wrote all of bily pack to be so precious but I love these two even more) This anon seems so dumb to totally not understand how mc and Yoongi think...Only excuse I'll give is if they don't understand abo, mating mark, polyamory, and love in fics omg... Also please don't tag this under bily and my anon tag. Feels wrong to have negativity under these tags even if this anon is totally wrong omg.

-🖤

i think maybe they don’t understand the complexity of emotions?? i really don’t get it 🥲 and to sit there and write an ask about it as well AND sending it in 😭

holly is an angel i would have just laughed

i think that maybe they haven’t grasped the fact that like real people, the characters holly has written are more than just surface level, black and white emotions like a lot of stories show— they’ve taken time to delicately craft each of their characters in BILY

i think that holly has done well with the pacing of all the relationships, and it’s come off very realistic of what a poly relationship would look like from my understanding. not everyone is gonna fall head-first into love, it’s not always going to linear and i think that this series has shown that everyone falls in love in different ways and for different reasons. that emotions are complicated, the selfishness that comes with thinking about people you love while giving so much without maybe their understanding

from what i get, the m/c being manipulative comes from survival instinct, that maybe even she isn’t aware that she’s doing it, it’s something that kind of just happened, a habit that she can’t break. old habits die hard and i don’t think her initial intent is malicious in any way i think she’s honestly just scared and from what’s happened to her in the past i think she’s just trying to protect herself. i think for jimin, he knows where she was before the pack, he knows the people she was associated with and it’s only fair that he’s paranoid when they’re both very very good at masking emotions and turning a blind eye to things that maybe shouldn’t be brushed over. i’d assume that jimin is also aware that if she really did want to harm any of the pack for whatever reason she probably would have done so by now (i think it’s just his love for tae that has his skepticism spiked)

in the reply to that ask holly worded yoongi’s thought process and actions very well. maybe the person that sent in the ask hasn’t experienced any sort of past trauma themselves and therefore glazed over the complexity of emotions after such a traumatic event? idk the original ask came off a little tone death like they hadn’t considered each of the characters and their individual perspectives and past trauma

in yoongi’s defense he lost contact with the rest of the pack to protect them from his family, and i think naturally, even if you love someone a lot, a loss of contact for months is gonna put a standstill in the relationship, like the m/c, yoongi has been through so so much and like holly explains there’s always been slight favoritism, it was always, and will always be tae and jimin, just like jin and namjoon. sure the m/c and yoongi were thrusted into a relationship with doom hanging over them but there was love, and as much as yoongi loved the pack he’d learnt to love another even if their situation hadn’t been the most ideal. and as much as the m/c was reserved at the start, meeting the pack i think yoongi is slowly learning to love all of them again even if he already knows how, i think it’s about him finding comfort in a place where everything could still be somewhat uncertain

i don’t think he’s wrong either for the slight jealousy he feels, he probably felt like a hero, a pretty shitty one but having just the two of them survive for so long as suddenly your soulmate is being bombarded with 6 times the love than he was giving must be hard for him. and as holly explained it’s jealousy in the sense he’s scared he won’t be useful anymore and just :( poor yoongs, i’m glad they’re spending more time together now i love yoongi x m/c content

i think maybe that the anon had only surface level view of the story, maybe hadn’t thought about it from a new perspective, either the author’s, or the characters in the book, or read other people’s thoughts and feelings and similar experiences to those in the story or they themselves haven’t experienced anything that could help them sympathize with these characters, having a very black and white perspective of complex characters and emotions

[butchcarmy]

just kidding it was only a quick meeting! LOL

alright so i worked myself up for nothing. super underwhelming and actually kinda... concerning? i think i'm gonna go for it anyway because i have nothing to lose! my first real day is probably wednesday. probably.

red flags discussed at length under the cut:

okay so here's what's up. the owner had me waiting on him for 40 minutes while he went grocery shopping (he was out of town). while i waited in the front, i chatted with some of the workers.

i was told by the owner to "talk to the white guy" that i'll call G. G's a line cook. this is how it went:

me: hi are you g? i'm elliot, new back of house guy?

g: i'm gonna be honest i'm not told anything so i have no idea who you are. but it's great to meet you haha

me: ooooookay? hahaha

G's been there 2 weeks. GREAT sign (sarcasm). he says that the owner just has people coming in randomly in the back, working, and not knowing how to do jack shit. G seemed to like my vibes though, he told me that i seemed better than the others hahaha hell yes!

anyway G told me that there's a lot of miscommunication and just general chaos, but the menu is easy to learn. i talked to the other workers and they all seem pretty nice!

kitchen was dirty, hot, and cramped. just as expected! the owner told me that ppl are calling out all the time, esp on weekends and wednesdays for some reason? there's a waffle station, fry station, stove station (probs not the name), and assembly station.

the owner's apparently gonna call me wednesday morning to see if i can come in which is. fascinating. i wouldn't be getting paid much, but it's better than nothing, right?

lot of red flags, but none of it is a surprise. i thought it would be as such. i'm just gonna go for it and get some experience. that's all i'm really after right now anyway! i have some other places that could work out too.

this is probably so delusional of me to say, but i'm going into it thinking like, "this is my beef era". like this restaurant is seriously giving The Beef Chaos, but with much less yelling. hopefully. and that excites me!

i'll update yall again this wednesday :)

entering the restaurant industry!

hello friends I wanted to update y’all on my most recent endeavor :) I’ve thought about this for a long time now but I wanted to voice it! I blabbed a lot so I’ll put it under a cut

I haven’t gotten a job in front or back of house yet but I’ve been applying like crazy! I’m hoping to hear back from these places soon :) I rly wanna be a line cook but I also would love to be a server.

I’ve always loved cooking! And as I get older I love it more. I want to know how it works, how flavors go together, how to best cook everything, how to innovate. And I also want to experience the controlled chaos of the kitchen.

I don’t know if this is a red flag but I see the insanity of the kitchens in the bear and I WANT IT. even when I watched it the first time there was something beautiful about it to me. I’m not saying that being in the restaurant industry is 100% like the bear (it is a dramatized tv show after all), but the truth that lies in it is quite beautiful to me. I know it won’t be easy. It excites me

I think I also see a lot of carmy in me right now. miserable and lost, but eager to learn and do well. A love for cooking. Obsessive and perfectionist tendencies. Even running away from your toxic family. Knowing that I could be really fucking good at this.

I dunno. I just I have a future here. I’m not used to having dreams or seeing myself in the future. I never realized, but growing up, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to have dreams. My father is cynical and practical to a fault. I learned a lot but also… there was a cost. I’m not sure if I’ve ever truly had a dream for myself. And for the first time, this is something for me.

The hardest part is finding my way in. I don’t have a car and the bus system isn’t ideal, so finding accessible restaurants is hard. I had two opportunities that I thought were looking really bright, but then it just got crushed. I hate job searching right now. It’s so brutal.

Idk… I was gonna talk about this once I landed a job but I wanted to blab abt it now. I try not to talk about my personal life too much on here bc I wanna keep it relevant but… this feels like an appropriate place to chronicle this sort of thing.

Will update again when I get a restaurant job. Thanks for reading if u did <3