#I'll probably end up deleting this later

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

@severewonderlandstarlight why would you do this to me?/j (also I just realized my askbox got closed? Eh I'll fix it later)

I am gonna get hate for this but personally I feel it's overrated. I can see why it was and is still liked so much, (rivals-to-lovers and water-and-fire, red-and-blue and opposites attract are like staple in shipping side) and don't get me wrong some shippers have made some genuinely incredible pieces of work around this ship, but it's also like fandom treats it like this ultimate example of queerbait when in truth in canon it was barely developed.

And maybe it's because I personally dislike K3ith's character and the way the show prioritised his character over everything including the plot but for me the few canon moments that are there are only to benefit K3ith's character. Which brings to my second opinion which is that I don't get this insistence that canon KL could have fixed vld. Cause like no, almost all of the problems in this show happened because of just god awful mismanagement, writers and eps very obvious racism, misogyny, and ableism, and the fact that they shat out 8 seasons in merely 2 years.

Insisting that the only thing wrong with the show was a fanon ship not becoming canon (whether it be KL or let's be most of the mlm K3ith ships because no way the writers would have let their precious self insert be interested in men, especially male characters of colour they love to humiliate and kill) just ignores all the terrible ways they managed to fuck up such a diverse cast. Even if kl were to become canon what's more likely to happen was Lnce being reduced to K3ith's damsel in distress therapist boyfriend who ends up getting killed for K3ith's development.

So yeah, I admit i used to like this ship, but i have grown tired of it both because it's Everywhere and because I have lost interest in shipping in general. I still enjoy it time to time, but overall meh ship, Lnce can do and deserves better/j

(This isn't me hating on the shippers btw, if you are a kl shipper reading this-do whatever you want pal! as long you all are minding your business and not sending death threats over stupid ships literally just do whatever you want)

[vignirek]

Wukong + Macaque headcanons (part 3)

(part one & part two of previous hcs)

Wukong

- optional headcanon 1: in JTTW the monkeys all adopt Wukong's surname "Sun" (if I remember that part correctly), so perhaps in the Monkie Kid universe the monkeys still share Wukong's surname like they're all one family in a sense (and maybe it also applied to Macaque while he still lived on the mountain)

- has less scars than Macaque, but the ones he does have are from pretty severe injuries that his immortality was unable to heal for various reasons (and maybe he got some of them from before he became immortal and didn't have op regeneration abilities yet) - his favorite flavor is sweet and he dislikes spicy + bitter foods (while Macaque is the opposite, though he does eat moderately sweet things) - Wukong's fur is short and soft, while Macaque's fur is long and smooth - he and Macaque were the troop's go-to babysitters when the monkey parents wanted some rest from taking care of their babies (after their fallout, Wukong had to be the babysitter all by himself, but then Macaque started picking up his babysitter duties again since his return to the mountain after S4) - likes to play videogames in his spare time, his favorite types are tower defense and fighting games (while Macaque's favorites are fighting games and story-driven games) bonus: they're mutually afraid of horror/scary games (partially inspired by Monarch and Cyyu playing Mortuary Assistant) - optional headcanon 2: Wukong became depressed sometime after the journey, but he's been isolated on his mountain for so long that he doesn't even see it as a problem (and even if he did, he'd just deploy his good ol' "ignore the problem until it's not a problem" tactic) (it definitely wouldn't work all the time though) bonus thought: at some point Macaque realizes that his ex-best friend is depressed and starts secretly helping him out by making him proper meals and making sure he always has a set of clean clothes available (and just doing the house chores in general) (he feels like a jerk for always clowning on Wukong for being smelly after realizing this, so perhaps he does the chores as a way of making it up to Wukong) - he and Macaque used to have a very intertwined/synced fighting style; now they're grown used to fighting separately after their fallout, but they can still subconsciously slip into the familiar pattern sometimes - headcanon for funsies: he/she genderfluid

Macaque

- continuation & sorta update of my headcanon where Macaque has another name besides "Six Eared Macaque" - still kinda stuck on which one would be most fitting for him, but I've narrowed it down to my three favorite options after a lot of digging:

1) "Fēng Wǔ" (风舞/"wind dance"; my main interpretation is that it's a nod to his manner of dancing being light and carefree like the wind (in my headcanon at least))

2) "Yǐng Wǔ" (影舞/"shadow dance"; somewhat similar to "wind dance", but with his shadow powers, could be interpreted as him guiding his shadows in a dance of sorts)

3) "Jiāo Yè" (姣夜/"charming night"; mostly a nod to his black fur and maybe his appearance in general- perhaps the backstory behind this name is that Wukong gave Macaque a nickname in an attempt to help him feel less self-conscious about his own appearance, and the nickname eventually grew into an actual name that Macaque started using)

(note: I'm absolutely not an expert on chinese names and these options are mostly results of me slapping together chinese characters and seeing which ones sound good together in theory- so don't expect them to be 100% accurate to how chinese names actually work)

- has a big amount of scars from various past scuffles that happened before and after his resurrection (mostly because he doesn't heal quickly like Wukong does, so Macaque is not as "untouchable" as him)

- very good at vocal mimicry (basically he copies people's voices really well) and can adjust his voice to copy anyone he hears (his ears help him a lot with that, bc he can easily copy the voice just by listening closely)

- optional headcanon 1: Macaque gets a pair of headphones at some point and spends at least a couple hours a day listening to music; one of his favorite genres is metal (though overall his music tastes range from gentle tunes to something more like rock or metal) and he sometimes sings along (he typically goes into a room covered in noise-cancelling spells to do it) (maybe he takes those precautions because one time he got too into it and received multiple noise complaints the next day /j)

- the vision in his right eye (from his point of view) is pretty bad because of the injury, he's pretty much considered legally half-blind in that regard; the most he can see is blurry moving shapes, but he tries to make up for it with his hearing, so usually the blind right eye is not much of a hindrance to him, though he refuses to get glasses or lenses of any kind for vague reasons - prone to losing his appetite when he's really sick or stressed (he struggles maintaining a healthy weight because of that) - optional headcanon 2: Macaque had already been living on FFM for some time, but then one day he witnessed Wukong hatching from his egg and basically went "oh cool, new friend c:" and brought him along, and afterwards they became friends (basically he's older in this backstory interpretation) - in terms of shapeshifting, Macaque's strengths are in disguising himself as other people, while Wukong is more proficient with the 72 transformations (they can do both, but Macaque only has a few animal forms and hides his tail, while Wukong has his tail at all times when he's transformed into an animal or is using a disguise) - used to be fond of peaches, but after so much baggage involving Wukong, they taste almost bittersweet to him and he rarely eats them nowadays - a decent teacher when he puts his mind to it (he's typically the more organized one when it comes to teaching, though he isn't afraid to push limitations when he feels it's necessary) - headcanon for funsies: he/they nonbinary

[hellonerf]

through it all caname having the same face is pretty crucial to it all. because i'm crazy

under the cut because i'm a little crazy and i don't want to deal with people going why are you so crazy. i was just thinking about how they behave to each other and concern and selfishness. i think i portray them a certain way because i rarely think when i draw but anyways. they still project onto each other to insane degrees and them having the same face doesn't help it at all. in their worst moments they'll see the other as more of a "___ version" of them. it really is like that image with the model of someones model in someones head What okay

i actually think cana is guilty of this a lot but i'm gonna be honest i think about canada's stream of thought more these days because ame is too much of a coping freak to me sometimes. i think he displays a lot of concern and worry for ame but it's not entirely selfless. i don't think he's that selfless. like i think if ame met someone and for whatever reason that other person made ame improve himself and actually be better cana would feel pretty empty about that. well ok i just think they're crazy with each other. it's not even really that he wants to be responsible for him it's just if he, as he is, as his relationship with ame is, turned out to be completely unremarkable to ame he'd like shoot himself or something. no that was a joke i bring up suicide too fast Sorry. sometimes i think his anger with ame is more about himself. not to say he has no reason to want to beat his shit in but more that he himself is also an enabler and not an innocent person it feels reflected back to him 😇 and he crazy hates himself. cana living in his own head and mumbling all his frustrations about himself and other people only to himself is the kind of cause for a tunnel vision self centeredness. when he gets aware of this he starts slamming his head in the wall. it's kind of a feedback loop with being reclusive...

i'm too assed to string into words what i think their deal with what they desire from one another is. i actually think they want similar things but if not a lack of communication then the way they'd want it is too different from each other to work. caname can never work guys it's so over. i have to yandere kill everyone else on their behalf to force them together it's so over. like i think cana thinks ame is a psycho unreliable arrogant asshole and ame thinks cana is a stupid lying coward bitch with no spine but they're also bffs and also the same person(wrong)(this is why everything is wrong) and they want the other to Understaaand them. in the true way. in the True way 🌤️ ame is like ohhh i'm eternally alone ohhhhh this fucking sucks and this spineless fag i call my brother is my last hope 😭😭😭(exaggeration) and he still doesn't know anything. ohhh you don't know anything about about This worlddd this world we're in....(attempts suicide for the 1000th time) and cana is like all my relationships are pointless and nobody likes each other including me. and there's my brother who doesn't care about anything but himself and mindlessly causes harm to everything. what do i even do😭😭😭 i'm tired. i think at random cana will be like No OMG this is horrible i can make this not horrible(yes?maybe?) which is like the context for that drawing where he hugs ame and doesn't let go when he yells and pushes him i think. you genuinely have to rip their skins off to get them anywhere. wow. KILL YOURSELF CANAME 😭😭😭😭😭

they're too cringe aware that's why they will never even kiss. that won't stop me from drawing them kissing and getting married because i don't care i like to play with dolls. caname is good. caname is a net positive. caname is actually so sweet and encouraging and super nice to each other and i'm a maniac

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

I just realized that I made a pfp of Poll, then completely forgot to do anything with it. I don't know how many of you are here right now, but what do we think of this for a pfp?

I tried to keep in line with the current one, so the change isn't jarring? It'll definitely work as a temporary one until something better shows up. Just like. Comment if it's good I guess?

[thebramblewood]

This cat is already an icon without even being properly introduced!!!

[daughterofhecata]

So. Today was my favourite grandma's funeral. And she was funny and strong and witty and silly and cool, but as a young woman she was also just. Absolutely gorgeous?

[pia55tri]

help

[pekoeboo]

man. I've been reworking a lot of content involving Act II of Home Is Where You Are and like. ugh. it'd work so freaking well in novel form but I just Do Not have the dedication or the drive to start from scratch and rewrite everything that happens.

idk how else to share the updated version of that part of the story with y'all tho, considering that Khalan's journal is insanely outdated now and isn't entirely canon anymore, so I'll probably just have to accept that I likely won't ever be able to update the story for y'all in the way I wish I could. >n<;;

[spectrearia]

kjhfdnfg birthday in like 2 days and part of me wants to try and draw something self-indulgent as like a "gift" to myself but man. creating in general has been so hard and i dont want to end up a frustrated crying mess again kjfghndfg

but my heart wants the Character Content™ so bad 😭 i just wish i didnt have to create it but i'm the only one who can make what i really want to see ugh

[longagoitwastuesday]

I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda

[milaza]

i really like doing pieces with complex compositions but there's always like a million things i only notice after posting that i want to fix...

[sydney-the-faithful]

sydney COCK in my mouth (please)

Oh. Oh! So... um... this is embarrassing. As it turns out, those previous asks weren't threatening to bite nor cannibalize me. I feel daft.

Anyway. What I'm about to say here is not to be repeated anywhere. ...okay? It isn't something I'd want to discuss publicly, ever. But I feel it's something I should mention if you all are going to be so insistent about... undressing me with your minds— I'll make it sweet and simple. Chastity belt. Purity vow. ...Need I say more?

[thefandomenchantress]

Enaaaa check your discord we miss you :<

(🎃)

Unfortunately, I am physically incapable of talking about anything but Ace right now, but soon I may return to talking to people about things that aren’t an angry horse man like a normal person. Until then, I shall mostly keep to myself online and think about what has happened. Maybe write a thing or two.

[1loer]

I've been going through really bad cycles of feeling intensely embarrassed about my writing. More specifically, that people are reading it, when the full honest truth of it is that theres a lot that I've written that I'm not completely happy with anymore. As it is, when you're new to something. The unfortunate reality is that as you grow as an artist you look back on things you've done before and can suddenly see everything wrong with it that you couldn't see before. When that also includes the knowledge that thousands of people have /also/ seen that thing...It's a very consuming level of shame for me. It feels very vulnerable, in a way I really, really didn't consider when I started sharing my writing.

I sat down today to write out a huge critique of everything I'd ever written, as if putting it public could absolve me of some of this shame, because I'm just proving to people who don't like my writing "Look I know!". I don't think anyone is a bigger critic of an artist's work than the artist themselves. I diguised the reason for it as a sort of excercise to improve my writing in the future, if I could just point out everything wrong with it, I wouldn't do it in the future! But really, it was an exercise in people pleasing and self-hatred.

Or, well. It was supposed to be. Thing is, by the time I got to the end of it, and wrote out not just everything bad about my writing, but the things I liked too, the thing that I was left with was...It was fun.

Ok, do I cringe hard when I read back the first few chapters of my fic to the point I simply dont read them anymore? Yes. Do I regret the way I wrote the opening chapters? Yes. Do I think I did a very bad job at portraying the start of Hinata and Komaeda's relationship, and especially Komaeda's reaction to Hinata being Reserve Course? Oh 100%. If I were to re-write it, these are the biggest things I would change, even if the outcome would basically be the same. I would've put a lot more emphasis on the fact that really Komaeda's anger was borne from jealousy at how Hinata is able to act normally despite not being talented, which is what I intended. But in that initial interaction, it really doesn't come off that way, and it bugs me to this day. But the thing is...That chapter, and all the bits that I'm most uncomfortable with, are over 2 years old at this point. I think, really, as it always is, this embarrassment is a good thing. It just means I've grown.

As well as being 2 years old, I wrote it alongside my master's dissertation. Most of my energy towards writing was very firmly elsewhere. Because really, the only reason I was writing it? Because it was fun. And it was fun. I had so much fun writing it, and so much fun sharing it with my best friend. So much fun that I actually ended up finishing it. Which I really didn't believe I would've. Then when I posted it, I had so much fun. Seeing everyone's reactions- I think I was the most excited for chapter updates out of everyone. Even now, a year on, people are making fanart for it??? And discovering it again?? And, somehow, liking it? And it's just baffling to me. To the me now that can see everything wrong with it, it's a bit hard to come to terms with. But...It just makes me so happy. Because really, the most important thing isn't that it was perfect. It isn't what I'd change now. It isn't all the things I did wrong. The most important thing is that...I did it. I actually finished it. I finished it, I wrote every idea I spent so many nights imagining and really, honestly believed would never see the light of day, and it was just so much fun.

By the time I got to the end of this terrible self-critique of my silly fanfiction, I'd actually dispelled so much of the things that were making me so upset, because I realised this simple, honest fact. It was fun. It still is fun. So thats why I keep writing. And I care if it's bad, of course I do!! I want to be good, I want to tell good stories and have an impact and make people feel and make people remember my work- but most of all, it's FUN! And out of everything thats the most important thing. And that's why you keep writing, or drawing, or doing anything at all in this sad, frustrating, unfair life. Because it's fun. And sometimes, amongst everything else, it gets pretty easy to lose sight of that. But I think, from now on, I'm going to try and cling to that in moments where I feel like this again. Okay I do it to be good. But I want to be good because it's fun. That's really all that matters.

[vivid-white-prism]

Kinda wishing people could do ship wars without putting down the other ship, especially if it involves drawing the opposing ship in unfortunate situations because it hurts me to see both of my comfort ships getting thrown into violent depictions in an attempt to glorify the other ;w; Please I just want to love both ships don't hurt them fffffffffffff

[autism-swagger]

Uh oh I just got hit with a wave of irrepressible all encompassing loneliness.