#I'll probably end up deleting this later
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@severewonderlandstarlight why would you do this to me?/j (also I just realized my askbox got closed? Eh I'll fix it later)
I am gonna get hate for this but personally I feel it's overrated. I can see why it was and is still liked so much, (rivals-to-lovers and water-and-fire, red-and-blue and opposites attract are like staple in shipping side) and don't get me wrong some shippers have made some genuinely incredible pieces of work around this ship, but it's also like fandom treats it like this ultimate example of queerbait when in truth in canon it was barely developed.
And maybe it's because I personally dislike K3ith's character and the way the show prioritised his character over everything including the plot but for me the few canon moments that are there are only to benefit K3ith's character. Which brings to my second opinion which is that I don't get this insistence that canon KL could have fixed vld. Cause like no, almost all of the problems in this show happened because of just god awful mismanagement, writers and eps very obvious racism, misogyny, and ableism, and the fact that they shat out 8 seasons in merely 2 years.
Insisting that the only thing wrong with the show was a fanon ship not becoming canon (whether it be KL or let's be most of the mlm K3ith ships because no way the writers would have let their precious self insert be interested in men, especially male characters of colour they love to humiliate and kill) just ignores all the terrible ways they managed to fuck up such a diverse cast. Even if kl were to become canon what's more likely to happen was Lnce being reduced to K3ith's damsel in distress therapist boyfriend who ends up getting killed for K3ith's development.
So yeah, I admit i used to like this ship, but i have grown tired of it both because it's Everywhere and because I have lost interest in shipping in general. I still enjoy it time to time, but overall meh ship, Lnce can do and deserves better/j
(This isn't me hating on the shippers btw, if you are a kl shipper reading this-do whatever you want pal! as long you all are minding your business and not sending death threats over stupid ships literally just do whatever you want)
#empty salt#Don't read for my mutuals eyes only/j#I'll probably end up deleting this later#Thank you for asking!!! I love you so much!!! Why do you keep doing this to me? /j#I apologize for the haterism lmao
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I just realized that I made a pfp of Poll, then completely forgot to do anything with it. I don't know how many of you are here right now, but what do we think of this for a pfp?
I tried to keep in line with the current one, so the change isn't jarring? It'll definitely work as a temporary one until something better shows up. Just like. Comment if it's good I guess?
#I should probably also remake my pinned post. I'll just end up editing it instead of making a new one#it makes sense to me at least#not a poll#poll the egg#delete later
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This cat is already an icon without even being properly introduced!!!
#this shot wasn't planned she just jumped on top of the fridge at the perfect moment#i may end up using it properly so i'll probably delete later#but you all have NO IDEA how painful it is not to spoil the scenes i've been working on!!!#i'm literally sitting on my hands until monday!!!
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So. Today was my favourite grandma's funeral. And she was funny and strong and witty and silly and cool, but as a young woman she was also just. Absolutely gorgeous?
#kaj rambles#i love these two pictures in particular#somehow we ended up with all the pictures she had and sorted through them last week#and there were so many old pictures among them that i had never seen before#i'm fine btw. it was emotional and i'll probably miss her for the rest of my life but it's alright.#we knew it would happen and it's actually a miracle she survived the health crisis she had in summer#to delete later#probably
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help
#carcar#really quick poll no context#delete later#wait if pacific rim tho i literally cannot imagine them as partners lmao#it'll be oscar watching carlos disappear into the ocean probably and having to see lando around the paddock while his boyfriend is gone#nvm i'm taking pacific rim out of the options i'll end up making myself cry#wait if they were drift partners they would get along better#worse at first bc it'll feel so invasive when they don't really know/like each other#but then they don't need to communicate to understand each other...#suddenly oscar would feel carlos' big eyes on him and he'd know that carlos is just worried about him and not thinking he's a dumb kid#fic#tldr i want to write smth quick and fun
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man. I've been reworking a lot of content involving Act II of Home Is Where You Are and like. ugh. it'd work so freaking well in novel form but I just Do Not have the dedication or the drive to start from scratch and rewrite everything that happens.
idk how else to share the updated version of that part of the story with y'all tho, considering that Khalan's journal is insanely outdated now and isn't entirely canon anymore, so I'll probably just have to accept that I likely won't ever be able to update the story for y'all in the way I wish I could. >n<;;
#spectre says#text post#delete later probably#tbh i'm so tired of being tired#i've had like. no energy to write or draw#even tho. the ideas are there. i've got so many concepts going through my head that i could work on and turn into some kind of tangible art#i tried writing out a new outline for act ii but i got overwhelmed with all the changes and plot holes that still need working out#so idk if i'll even continue with that#even tho it's just bullet points#fhgdjkfg#anyway#the idea of writing everything in novel form just sounds like. SO perfect for the story as it is now#i'd love. to establish both khalan and antony as main characters and focus on what happens to both of them while in Atria#eventually having their stories collide when antony's side of things merges with what's going on with khalan and aya#it'd feel less jarring than how it worked out in the journal#because this part of the story is just as much antony's story as it is khalan and aya's#and he's ultimately the one who fixes things and has 'main character energy' by the end of that act#so establishing him as one of the tertiary main characters early on makes sense i think#but yeah. there's just a lot i'd need to do and i know i wouldn't be able to keep up with it if i did try to start writing.#IM JUST RAMBLING NOW IM SORYO#it's just been on the brain i guess
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I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda
#The most trusted person of the strongest sorcerer in hundreds of years is the man who drives him places#because he's so weak when it comes to powers that even a first year kid considers irrelevant in a fight#With the implications that has in this world#Wish we had breakfasts in this manga#(scene of Shoko‚ Megumi‚ Yuta‚ Ijichi and perhaps Utahime and Yuji reacting to Gojo's death as his death and not just in a Sukuna context)#But in five chapters I doubt we'll get even the main arcs sufficiently closed#so I don't dare hope for the impact of the loses in a 'normal' sense#But I would give an arm for some breakfast interactions so to speak#The second ending plays with that idea a bit. A pity I don't consider endings and openings canon#So I don't count them. As much as I would like to think somewhere in the time line they painted Megumi's sleeping face jigglypufflike#and went to give a walk by the beach while Yuuji wistfully looked at them#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#With so many tags I forgot what this post was about xD#This is half a joke. Conceptually they're not bad but I'm also not invested at all in anything in a shippy way#I just pointed the Ijichi/Gojo thing out a bit in the context of how I have never seen something with them#while I see a lot of the ships with the other characters#Also not that it's bad the lack of a shippy air. And probably it's for the best considering the lack of breakfast scenes so to speak#I'm loving the potential of the platonic dynamics and it's already messing me up that there's no real depth to them#Megumi and Gojo could have been everything to me. Everything. I can't say it enough haha#Edit: Actively looking for this now and I can't find Ijichi x Gojo stuff here on tumblr. I'll try twitter and ao3 later or something maybe
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i really like doing pieces with complex compositions but there's always like a million things i only notice after posting that i want to fix...
#delete later#maybe i'll get to it after work#but man i'm starting to understand more why people dislike others reposting their art (with credit)#i never minded it before but now i'm like...!! that's probably not the final form so don't repost it!#of course if i tried to get the final form right the first time i would never end up posting it at all#and get sick of refining it and looking at it... etc
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sydney COCK in my mouth (please)
Oh. Oh! So... um... this is embarrassing. As it turns out, those previous asks weren't threatening to bite nor cannibalize me. I feel daft.
Anyway. What I'm about to say here is not to be repeated anywhere. ...okay? It isn't something I'd want to discuss publicly, ever. But I feel it's something I should mention if you all are going to be so insistent about... undressing me with your minds— I'll make it sweet and simple. Chastity belt. Purity vow. ...Need I say more?
#I'm so humiliated.#Speak not a WORD of this post. You never saw it. I'll probably end up deleting it later.#sydney_speaks#+corruption#destructive confessions
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Enaaaa check your discord we miss you :<
(🎃)
Unfortunately, I am physically incapable of talking about anything but Ace right now, but soon I may return to talking to people about things that aren’t an angry horse man like a normal person. Until then, I shall mostly keep to myself online and think about what has happened. Maybe write a thing or two.
#im an introvert at heart and im just...a little too emotionally drained to want to socialize excessively right now#(not just because of drdt but also school)#and whenever i log on to discord i end up socializing for like hours#so im taking a break to recharge#i'll be back soon probably#i love talking to you guys but right now i need a little bit#might delete later
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I've been going through really bad cycles of feeling intensely embarrassed about my writing. More specifically, that people are reading it, when the full honest truth of it is that theres a lot that I've written that I'm not completely happy with anymore. As it is, when you're new to something. The unfortunate reality is that as you grow as an artist you look back on things you've done before and can suddenly see everything wrong with it that you couldn't see before. When that also includes the knowledge that thousands of people have /also/ seen that thing...It's a very consuming level of shame for me. It feels very vulnerable, in a way I really, really didn't consider when I started sharing my writing.
I sat down today to write out a huge critique of everything I'd ever written, as if putting it public could absolve me of some of this shame, because I'm just proving to people who don't like my writing "Look I know!". I don't think anyone is a bigger critic of an artist's work than the artist themselves. I diguised the reason for it as a sort of excercise to improve my writing in the future, if I could just point out everything wrong with it, I wouldn't do it in the future! But really, it was an exercise in people pleasing and self-hatred.
Or, well. It was supposed to be. Thing is, by the time I got to the end of it, and wrote out not just everything bad about my writing, but the things I liked too, the thing that I was left with was...It was fun.
Ok, do I cringe hard when I read back the first few chapters of my fic to the point I simply dont read them anymore? Yes. Do I regret the way I wrote the opening chapters? Yes. Do I think I did a very bad job at portraying the start of Hinata and Komaeda's relationship, and especially Komaeda's reaction to Hinata being Reserve Course? Oh 100%. If I were to re-write it, these are the biggest things I would change, even if the outcome would basically be the same. I would've put a lot more emphasis on the fact that really Komaeda's anger was borne from jealousy at how Hinata is able to act normally despite not being talented, which is what I intended. But in that initial interaction, it really doesn't come off that way, and it bugs me to this day. But the thing is...That chapter, and all the bits that I'm most uncomfortable with, are over 2 years old at this point. I think, really, as it always is, this embarrassment is a good thing. It just means I've grown.
As well as being 2 years old, I wrote it alongside my master's dissertation. Most of my energy towards writing was very firmly elsewhere. Because really, the only reason I was writing it? Because it was fun. And it was fun. I had so much fun writing it, and so much fun sharing it with my best friend. So much fun that I actually ended up finishing it. Which I really didn't believe I would've. Then when I posted it, I had so much fun. Seeing everyone's reactions- I think I was the most excited for chapter updates out of everyone. Even now, a year on, people are making fanart for it??? And discovering it again?? And, somehow, liking it? And it's just baffling to me. To the me now that can see everything wrong with it, it's a bit hard to come to terms with. But...It just makes me so happy. Because really, the most important thing isn't that it was perfect. It isn't what I'd change now. It isn't all the things I did wrong. The most important thing is that...I did it. I actually finished it. I finished it, I wrote every idea I spent so many nights imagining and really, honestly believed would never see the light of day, and it was just so much fun.
By the time I got to the end of this terrible self-critique of my silly fanfiction, I'd actually dispelled so much of the things that were making me so upset, because I realised this simple, honest fact. It was fun. It still is fun. So thats why I keep writing. And I care if it's bad, of course I do!! I want to be good, I want to tell good stories and have an impact and make people feel and make people remember my work- but most of all, it's FUN! And out of everything thats the most important thing. And that's why you keep writing, or drawing, or doing anything at all in this sad, frustrating, unfair life. Because it's fun. And sometimes, amongst everything else, it gets pretty easy to lose sight of that. But I think, from now on, I'm going to try and cling to that in moments where I feel like this again. Okay I do it to be good. But I want to be good because it's fun. That's really all that matters.
#oh pee#being an artist is suffering. but it's worth it.#i am cringe.........but i am free..........and im having fun#i hope this doesn't come off as fishing for compliments bc thats not my intention at all#i just have a lot of feelings.#i'll probably end up deleting this later.#no one cares but i just needed to say it#this post talks about sixteen candles specifically but this is about all my fics
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Kinda wishing people could do ship wars without putting down the other ship, especially if it involves drawing the opposing ship in unfortunate situations because it hurts me to see both of my comfort ships getting thrown into violent depictions in an attempt to glorify the other ;w; Please I just want to love both ships don't hurt them fffffffffffff
#rain world#rainworld#kinda just needed to get this out of my system#I'll probably end up deleting it later
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Uh oh I just got hit with a wave of irrepressible all encompassing loneliness.
#my siblings both have their best friends in our family group chat#because they're both pretty much family#and I can't stop thinking about what will happen when the inevitable awful friend break up happens#and then I remember that it's not inevitable I just have shit luck#every close friend I've had was either awful or it ended poorly or they were never actually a friend#I just wish I could have one close friendship that doesn't end awfully and end up traumatizing me#idk man. I'll probably delete this later.
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Me, writing in silence: Not! Enough! Stimulation!
Me, writing with music or a movie in the background: *gets distracted and doesn't write*
#three hours later and I'll have typed eight words that I'll probably end up deleting later#anxiety and adhd keep getting in the way of my WIPS and I'm just like#what do?#this is also mostly the reason I'm so behind with asks and tag games#late night rambles#ella thinks
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I would let Aventurine scam me
#Play your games‚ man‚ I love to watch you so I'll play along#As of right now he could set fire to Penacony‚ the IPC and the Astral Express and I would throw hands to defend him anyway#He is shitty but okay he can misbehave and even have a little revenge as sidedish if he wants and is able to pull it off#without ending up in jail again#What I mean is that I'm stanning him like I stan Heathclif.f. Did he do wrong? Absolutely. But also they had it coming so 🤷🏻♂️#Play around and find out mad this man's a gambler#btw that one consumable that mentions a teenager going all in? Is that him? The teenager?#Anyway. The Odysseu.s and Heathclif.f and Mordre.d effect. Do what you want man you've gained being terrible#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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actually. realizing the god that died in the oasis was in fact the previous hydro archon and that focalors in fact had nothing to do with her death. i'm crushed
#personal stuff#delete later#because. the oceanids make pilgrimages to see her dead body. yea#also fucking. okay. ALL of the previous archons died at the cataclysm????? is that what we're going for???#like except the previous pyro archon cause they were already dead by vanessa's time which was WAY before the cataclysm#but makoto and rukkhadevata and the previous hydro archon?#that's just half. and the tsaritsa was probably around for the cataclysm too. but you get what i mean#unless she was particularly attached to her predecessor and venti had something to do with their death. which i doubt#but like. everyone dunking on nahida for being the youngest archon while focalors took over around the same time???#unless she was immortal beforehand like how zhongli was an adeptus first. how much older could she really be#AUGH. anyway. i'm excited for fontaine and i want to keep my expectations low and my mind open so i don't get disappointed lmao#like i'm expecting one (1) thing but i Could absolutely be wrong#if they decide to use the honkai character i'm thinking of as the basis for someone else cough cough sandrone#but if focalors ends up taking insp from [redacted] i'm blowing us all up. if they do it right i'll be appeased but like auuguh#it would seem like such a waste </3
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