#I'll probably end up deleting this later

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

@severewonderlandstarlight why would you do this to me?/j (also I just realized my askbox got closed? Eh I'll fix it later)

I am gonna get hate for this but personally I feel it's overrated. I can see why it was and is still liked so much, (rivals-to-lovers and water-and-fire, red-and-blue and opposites attract are like staple in shipping side) and don't get me wrong some shippers have made some genuinely incredible pieces of work around this ship, but it's also like fandom treats it like this ultimate example of queerbait when in truth in canon it was barely developed.

And maybe it's because I personally dislike K3ith's character and the way the show prioritised his character over everything including the plot but for me the few canon moments that are there are only to benefit K3ith's character. Which brings to my second opinion which is that I don't get this insistence that canon KL could have fixed vld. Cause like no, almost all of the problems in this show happened because of just god awful mismanagement, writers and eps very obvious racism, misogyny, and ableism, and the fact that they shat out 8 seasons in merely 2 years.

Insisting that the only thing wrong with the show was a fanon ship not becoming canon (whether it be KL or let's be most of the mlm K3ith ships because no way the writers would have let their precious self insert be interested in men, especially male characters of colour they love to humiliate and kill) just ignores all the terrible ways they managed to fuck up such a diverse cast. Even if kl were to become canon what's more likely to happen was Lnce being reduced to K3ith's damsel in distress therapist boyfriend who ends up getting killed for K3ith's development.

So yeah, I admit i used to like this ship, but i have grown tired of it both because it's Everywhere and because I have lost interest in shipping in general. I still enjoy it time to time, but overall meh ship, Lnce can do and deserves better/j

(This isn't me hating on the shippers btw, if you are a kl shipper reading this-do whatever you want pal! as long you all are minding your business and not sending death threats over stupid ships literally just do whatever you want)

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

I just realized that I made a pfp of Poll, then completely forgot to do anything with it. I don't know how many of you are here right now, but what do we think of this for a pfp?

I tried to keep in line with the current one, so the change isn't jarring? It'll definitely work as a temporary one until something better shows up. Just like. Comment if it's good I guess?

[thebramblewood]

This cat is already an icon without even being properly introduced!!!

[longagoitwastuesday]

I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda

[sydney-the-faithful]

sydney COCK in my mouth (please)

Oh. Oh! So... um... this is embarrassing. As it turns out, those previous asks weren't threatening to bite nor cannibalize me. I feel daft.

Anyway. What I'm about to say here is not to be repeated anywhere. ...okay? It isn't something I'd want to discuss publicly, ever. But I feel it's something I should mention if you all are going to be so insistent about... undressing me with your minds— I'll make it sweet and simple. Chastity belt. Purity vow. ...Need I say more?

[cinnamon-bunni]

NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....

[saturniidd]

a funny little comparison of one of my first drawings of nyx (2 years ago) compared to my most recent drawing (2 weeks ago)

[1loer]

I've been going through really bad cycles of feeling intensely embarrassed about my writing. More specifically, that people are reading it, when the full honest truth of it is that theres a lot that I've written that I'm not completely happy with anymore. As it is, when you're new to something. The unfortunate reality is that as you grow as an artist you look back on things you've done before and can suddenly see everything wrong with it that you couldn't see before. When that also includes the knowledge that thousands of people have /also/ seen that thing...It's a very consuming level of shame for me. It feels very vulnerable, in a way I really, really didn't consider when I started sharing my writing.

I sat down today to write out a huge critique of everything I'd ever written, as if putting it public could absolve me of some of this shame, because I'm just proving to people who don't like my writing "Look I know!". I don't think anyone is a bigger critic of an artist's work than the artist themselves. I diguised the reason for it as a sort of excercise to improve my writing in the future, if I could just point out everything wrong with it, I wouldn't do it in the future! But really, it was an exercise in people pleasing and self-hatred.

Or, well. It was supposed to be. Thing is, by the time I got to the end of it, and wrote out not just everything bad about my writing, but the things I liked too, the thing that I was left with was...It was fun.

Ok, do I cringe hard when I read back the first few chapters of my fic to the point I simply dont read them anymore? Yes. Do I regret the way I wrote the opening chapters? Yes. Do I think I did a very bad job at portraying the start of Hinata and Komaeda's relationship, and especially Komaeda's reaction to Hinata being Reserve Course? Oh 100%. If I were to re-write it, these are the biggest things I would change, even if the outcome would basically be the same. I would've put a lot more emphasis on the fact that really Komaeda's anger was borne from jealousy at how Hinata is able to act normally despite not being talented, which is what I intended. But in that initial interaction, it really doesn't come off that way, and it bugs me to this day. But the thing is...That chapter, and all the bits that I'm most uncomfortable with, are over 2 years old at this point. I think, really, as it always is, this embarrassment is a good thing. It just means I've grown.

As well as being 2 years old, I wrote it alongside my master's dissertation. Most of my energy towards writing was very firmly elsewhere. Because really, the only reason I was writing it? Because it was fun. And it was fun. I had so much fun writing it, and so much fun sharing it with my best friend. So much fun that I actually ended up finishing it. Which I really didn't believe I would've. Then when I posted it, I had so much fun. Seeing everyone's reactions- I think I was the most excited for chapter updates out of everyone. Even now, a year on, people are making fanart for it??? And discovering it again?? And, somehow, liking it? And it's just baffling to me. To the me now that can see everything wrong with it, it's a bit hard to come to terms with. But...It just makes me so happy. Because really, the most important thing isn't that it was perfect. It isn't what I'd change now. It isn't all the things I did wrong. The most important thing is that...I did it. I actually finished it. I finished it, I wrote every idea I spent so many nights imagining and really, honestly believed would never see the light of day, and it was just so much fun.

By the time I got to the end of this terrible self-critique of my silly fanfiction, I'd actually dispelled so much of the things that were making me so upset, because I realised this simple, honest fact. It was fun. It still is fun. So thats why I keep writing. And I care if it's bad, of course I do!! I want to be good, I want to tell good stories and have an impact and make people feel and make people remember my work- but most of all, it's FUN! And out of everything thats the most important thing. And that's why you keep writing, or drawing, or doing anything at all in this sad, frustrating, unfair life. Because it's fun. And sometimes, amongst everything else, it gets pretty easy to lose sight of that. But I think, from now on, I'm going to try and cling to that in moments where I feel like this again. Okay I do it to be good. But I want to be good because it's fun. That's really all that matters.

[vivid-white-prism]

Kinda wishing people could do ship wars without putting down the other ship, especially if it involves drawing the opposing ship in unfortunate situations because it hurts me to see both of my comfort ships getting thrown into violent depictions in an attempt to glorify the other ;w; Please I just want to love both ships don't hurt them fffffffffffff

[autism-swagger]

Uh oh I just got hit with a wave of irrepressible all encompassing loneliness.

[elshells]

Me, writing in silence: Not! Enough! Stimulation!

Me, writing with music or a movie in the background: *gets distracted and doesn't write*

[fragmentedblade]

I would let Aventurine scam me

[aromanticasterisms]

actually. realizing the god that died in the oasis was in fact the previous hydro archon and that focalors in fact had nothing to do with her death. i'm crushed

[c-e-d-dreamer]

So I unfortunately do not have anything planned for Saturday's Favorite Tropes day of SJM Romance Week, but I have been enjoying all the depravity and debauchery from other authors this week. I mean who says romance is dead when a bat boy in a cowboy hat could be fucking you into the mattress, am I right? 😉

Anyways! It has inspired me and got me thinking about this absolute filth I wrote a few months back that's been sitting in my Google Docs titled Delete This Later soooooo

P.S. if you know me irl and saw this post, no you didn't

[musical-chick-13]

.

[wh0re-in-the0ry]

Do I really have a crush on them or am I just faking romantic/sexual attraction to justify my current hyperfixation on them as if that makes that fixation anymore justifiable?

I don't even know anymore and I don't feel like unpacking that right now.