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jhilsara · 11 months ago

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I Can See You

Pt. 1/ Pt. 2/ Pt. 3/ Pt. 4/ Pt. 5/pt. 6/Pt. 7/Pt. 8/Pt. 9/ Pt. 10/

Pt. 11/ Pt.12/Pt.13/Pt. 14/Pt.15/Pt.16/Pt.17/END

It's over! I can't say thank you enough for joining me and my adventures with Hobie and Mariana. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. I really grew attached to MJ and Hobie as their story just blossomed before me. While this is the end of the main story, I'll probably have a couple of one shots here and there for them. I just love them so much. Anyway~ once again thank you so much for reading this silly little fic and if you made it this far, I truly appreciate you for reading :)

please leave a kudo on ao3 or a comment <3

~Several Months Later~

MJ is trying to push her way through a rampaging crowd. She’s fighting against the current, but she could care less. The adrenaline pumping through her as she tries to look above the sea of people.

The screaming in her ears is starting to get irritating though. She elbows past a much larger man and finally gets somewhere off to the side where she can get a good visual.

Through the settling dust she sees Spider-Man knocking around the Vulture in the air. She brings her camera up and tries to take a few quick shots before she starts filming. She was getting tired of trying to frame the best front-page photo’s for Spider-Man slander at the Daily Bugle… but none of her other coworkers were willing to get that close to any of the action. She did get hazard pay from it and she was going to milk the cow dry as long as they were paying her.

They didn’t need to know that she’s got a small advantage since her boyfriends the vigilante… at least she feels somewhat safe getting up close to his fights. Even if the so-called vigilante in question does scold her every single time.

She was starting to kind of like it, it was just proof that he cares, not that she’d ever tell Hobie that.

Once she get’s a good enough photo, well, better than what her other coworkers have made in the past. She brings out her phone to film.

This wasn’t for the Daily Bugle, it was for her own personal blogging website. If she was forced by the corporate overloads to make money by slandering her boyfriends name, she could at least run a little side gig that tells the truth.

If she got more website hits on her blog than then Daily Bugle’s she didn’t brag, but god did it boost her ego. Especially since Mr. Jameson was too dull to figure out she was running the blog on the side anyway.

He wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box.

She’s scanning her phone to zoom in on Spider-Man and the cocky bastard has the gal to look over to her and shoot a peace sign at the camera. She rolls her eyes.

“As you can see our vigilante isn’t taking this fight very seriously since he’s flirting with the camera… It’ll make a nice fan cam later though.” She says sarcastically as she follows the fight.

Hobie’s high above, fighting the Vulture in the air. That was the nice thing about the Vulture, nothing was close to her on the ground.

Not like the Lizard a few weeks ago who literally flooded the whole street. Her shoes were permanently damaged. Not to mention her sliding down the road like a poor excuse of a slip and slide. She did get some stellar photos and videos from that. Even if she almost fell down into the sewer.

Hobie had finally conceded to the fact she was going to be near his fights. By her volition or by her new job. He couldn’t escape it. So, he did the next best thing, he started to make her gear that she could at least use to help herself.

The first being a web shooter. It wasn’t set up exactly like his. It was discrete enough to look like a watch. It was mostly to stop her from falling, which is how she saved herself from falling into the sewer.

The month it took for her to figure it out and feel comfortable enough to use it was not fun. Hobie was trying to teach her how to swing her weight, but he was a stick in comparison to her. She’s seen what his webs can do, she knows they can hold her easily. It was trusting herself to not screw up the momentum that was scary. That and the fact she didn’t like swinging to begin with. Even if it was Hobie’s favorite, it certainly wasn’t hers. The actions gave her whiplash and made her nauseous.

She only used the web shooter when she absolutely had to. She was more than happy that today Hobie was flying through the sky. She could safely keep her feet on the ground.

The Vulture shots his metal feathers as an attack toward the swinging vigilante. Hobie swings too close toward her and it has MJ running from the projectiles hitting the ground.

She keeps her camera steady as she readjusts to follow the fight again, “The Vulture should really start learning how to aim if he’s going to resort to his feathers.” She comments as she keeps filming. “I mean, how often have they really hit Spider-Man?”

There’s no one really around her but a few reporters on the sides of the streets. Most of them keeping their distance far away. MJ was the only one willing to get this close to the action. Which is why her online blog was skyrocketing in popularity. She didn’t even think about making one until one day Mr. Jameson pissed her off. He was ranting and raving about how the Daily Bugle was the only news source worth listening too because of how good their images were of Spider-Man.

Or as he said, “That no good Spiderpunk running around and destroying our city!”

If she had to bullshit some article calling Hobie Spiderpunk one more time she was going to vomit in Mr. Jameson’s waste basket. It was such a playground taunt. He couldn’t even be more creative!

It also made her eye twitch that her boss was using her perfectly good photos to slander her boyfriend. Hobie didn’t care. In fact, he never looked at a single news source, the most he did was hijack the police scanners to aid him. Didn’t stop the fire burning under her though. If MJ was anything, she was loyal to a fault. So, what if it meant she got a little petty? It was all in good faith. She made her blog that night, as a counter protest to her boss. She never expected her ramblings and bad videos to explode overnight.

It was an added bonus that her boss had also caught wind of her blog and couldn’t do anything about it. He had demanded MJ pay closer attention when she was out, to try and figure out who ran the blog. The man clearly couldn’t put it together that it was her. Who else would get that close to Spider-Man’s fights? She didn’t even disguise her voice, but she made sure to never show her face.

Hobie just found it amusing if anything else. She had a decent following online and made sure her content was always free. If she was going to report on what was happening she wasn’t going to profit off of it. Unlike the Daily Bugle who hid their slanderous newspaper articles behind a paywall. She loved what she did, uncovering stories and being near the action. It gave her a rush like no other. Even if Hobie would wish she wouldn’t get so close.

This was one of those moments she wished she wasn’t so close.

“Shit, shit, shit!” She’s running from falling building debris. The vulture had taken a large chunk off the old brick building to her left. She could hear the car alarms going off as the falling pieces were crushing the cars underneath.

She feels arms wrap around her tightly and she stops struggling almost immediately. Looking up to see Hobie’s mask staring down at her. A heavy sigh leaving his mouth.

“You were doing so good this time. Outta way and everythin’.” He teases half-heartedly.

She rolls her eyes before shrugging, “To be fair, I didn’t expect the bird to throw such a hissy fit he’d take out the corner of the building.” She replies.

Hobie sighs and nods. He sets her down a good distance away. “He’s really bloody upset over somethin’… I couldn’t tell ya for the life of me. I tuned him out ages ago.” He turns to dash off and take care of the giant bird man.

“I’m wastin’ my breath, but don’t follow alright.” He tries to tell her. She just hums in acknowledgement and she rushing off right behind him.

She was almost like a shadow with her new job at the Daily Bugle. Always behind him. It still frightened him. Had the rage simmering underneath his the second she was too close to danger. That dread would probably never fully go away. It was just a matter of trusting each other. He’d come running to her if she needed him, and vice versa. The least her could do was arm her so she could defend herself. Not that she needed too much defending. She did explode the Goblin with their own bombs. He knew the dangers that came with being Spider-Man and she had taken them with so much grace and shouldered them with him. It was more than he could ask of anyone.

Yet there she was, next to him, like she was always meant to be.

She grabs a few more photos and is able to catch the end of the fight. Hobie having the Vulture wrapped up in his webs.

“Once again, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man can be found protecting us! He’s a little cross with me right now so I won’t bug him. I am expecting some fan cams from this footage so don’t let me down!” She signs off her video and shuffles her belongings into her bag.

Hobie turns to see her and she waves in small acknowledgement before jogging off back to her office. He shakes his head but goes to handle the Vulture, knowing he’ll see her later anyway.

Mariana’s curled up on the couch, nursing a half cold tea, when the door gently opens and she hears him kicking off his combat boots.

“Long day?” she calls out to him sitting up to look over at him.

He gives a dry chuckle before walking over to kiss her forehead. “It was more than just the birdman today,” he sighs.

She frowns looking up at him, “Go take a hot shower, I’ll make you something.” She whispers holding his face.

He nods his head and presses another soft kiss to her cheek before walking to the bathroom.

She shakes her head and gets up with a full body stretch. She goes to grab the leftovers from the dinner she cooked earlier. She goes to warm it back up for him, it wasn’t too cold but definitely not as hot as when she originally cooked earlier. It won’t take very long so she starts on a drink too. She goes over to the kettle and starts making him a cup of tea, while also making herself a second cup. Pouring her lukewarm tea down the sink. She leans against the counter and waits for it to heat up.

She doesn’t hear Hobbie come behind her as he wraps his arms around her waist. Pressing his half naked body against hers. She leans her head back to look up at him.

“Ya know, this would be lovelier if you weren’t still slightly wet.” She teases him.

He groans and shoves his face into the crook of her neck. “Don’t care.” He murmurs placing a soft kiss to her shoulder.

She smiles softly and moves her hand to pat his cheek. She doesn’t stop her task of making them tea but it becomes a slightly more difficult task with one hand.

Hobie slowly starts swaying their bodies to an unheard tune in his head. She easily moves with him as she makes their mugs. The silence isn’t stifling, it’s more relaxing than anything. His weight on her is comforting and he places more soft kisses against her skin, moving from her shoulder up her neck, to her cheek, and finally to the corner of her lips.

She turns her head to follow him, chasing his lips with hers. She hums contently against him.

“I have to pour our tea Hobbie.” She whispers against his lips.

He presses another kiss, this one deeper and longer. “Can wait,” He grips her hips to make her turn fully to him. He presses his forehead against hers, closing his eyes.

Her hands snake up his arms and down his bare chest, touch feather light. He makes a deep groan in his throat. It has her chuckling softly.

One of his hands goes to grab both her hands, capturing them easily. His other hand moves from her waist to grip the counter behind her. His mouth moving down to her ear, “Watch it…” he whispers, “Don’t start something you can’t finish.” He presses a kiss under her ear.

She starts to squirm a bit, “Oh piss off!” She giggles her face heating up, “I’m not the one who walked in here half naked.”

He leans back and sighs dramatically. “I haven’t done the laundry in a minute luv.”

She rolls her eyes, “What you need is to just move in already.” She tries to say nonchalantly avoiding looking up at him.

He hums in thought, “Is that you officially asking me or joking?” He teases trying to make her look at him.

Her face grows redder, as she tries to wiggle away from him. He other hand releases hers and he blocks her in against the counter. Leaning dangerously closer to her.

“I… I want you to move in, I mean you come here every night anyway, I just think it would be easier if-” she’s starting to ramble running over her words.

Hobie cuts her off with his mouth, kissing her once more. Pulling back to smile lazily at her furiously blushing face.

“I’m just teasin’. Course I’ll move in.” he tells him softly.

“Okay, perfect, cool…” she says quietly, eyes avoiding his.

“I’m keepin’ the house boat though. Don’t want to leave all my spider stuff here.” He says seriously.

She laughs with her chest, moving to wrap her arms around his neck. “I’m okay with that.”

He moves to grab her thighs, lifting her to wrap her legs around his waist. She makes a small noise before holding onto him tighter.

“Hobie! What about the tea, and your food!” She tries to scold him, but her laughter gives her away.

“It can wait, just want you right now.” He says walking them to her bedroom.

She leans forward, her small laughter being swallowed by his lips. They fall onto her bed together and her hands move to hold his jaw, deepening the kiss.

If someone told Mariana a year ago she’d be in a relationship with her cities vigilante she’d call them crazy. She’d also find it impossible that her path would have crossed with his to begin with.

She wouldn’t believe anything that’s happened to her this past year of knowing Hobie. She’s felt herself change for the better, becoming braver than ever. He’s everything she could ask for. Parts of her have healed in ways she never thought they could. The scares are still there, but they can fade with time. She doesn’t feel like a dog who’s been kicked one too many times anymore. She’s found her home in his heart. She knows he’ll protect it, like she protects his. It’s precious that she’s found this love and all she wants to do is nurture and grow it.

She loves him and she thinks she could forever.

Tag List: @missshelleyduvall

#hobie brown x oc #hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #spiderpunk #spider punk #hobie x reader #hobie x oc #my art

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rainbowolfe · 2 years ago

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Kallamar Dialogue Analysis

I might be crazy, but I think there's another character at play hiding in plain sight.

Sorry for the lack of screenshots, I'd have to start a new save to get most of them, but this document contains all the dialogue from the base game (and then some) with the text effects preserved. Maybe I'll add pictures in at a later date. Anyways,

While the same probably can't be said for other Bishops, Kallamar is very particular when he speaks about Narinder and the Red Crown. The Red Crown is it/its, Narinder is he/him. And he clearly talks about them as separate beings.

"Shamura, the Red Crown grows stronger by the day. Already it has succeeded where he has failed before. Leshy has been slain!" "He has sent many vessels like you. One after the other, they all fall." "And he sends you back from death stronger each time." "Kill Shamura, but do not send me to my death. Do not send me to him!"

Two of these he/hims are not like the others.

And the reason this even catches my attention is because of Him. As in, His Infernal Majesty (HIM) from Powerpuff Girls. A plain old 'him' could be referring to anyone, but Him meant specifically that character.

Kallamar has lots of other dialogue speaking about Narinder, and he doesn't use that emphasis. In fact, the only time Narinder receives an emphasized 'him' is from Leshy, but it's red.

"You may think yourself righteous in your service to HIM."

So. There's another him causing problems for the Bishops that isn't Narinder. Need more proof?

The thing is, Narinder never tried to kill Leshy, so he couldn't have failed at it. He wounded him and Kallamar, but those weren't lethal strikes. Those two don't see what he did as an attempt on their lives either.

"But when dear brother Narinder struck us in his fury, my eyes were torn from the socket." "[...] my handsome ear, unfairly taken by Narinder."

So, who tried and failed to slay Leshy? A previous vessel maybe? It may have been a previous member of the Old Faith. Or maybe even the proper Red Crown bearer before Narinder. Whoever it is, Kallamar doesn't want to have to face him in death. But the thing is.

Narinder is in the Realm Beyond. The Bishops get sent to Purgatory. The Bishops most likely never crossed his path. The only reason Lamb ends up on Narinder's doorstep is because they were sacrificed on a pentagram. He may be chained away, but that symbol is still connected to him as much as it's connected to the Bishops. Not to mention, Narinder is clearly still very attached to Shamura, as mad as he is at them. He wouldn't watch them die, but he'd torture them in Purgatory?

By the way, someone is definitely actively torturing the Bishops in Purgatory. Purgatory is a place where souls go to be punished so they can (potentially) be released into the next life, which is what's happening every time Lamb 'kills' someone in there. But there's a stark contrast between how the Bishops look and how everyone else looks. Even though their mini-bosses and Witnesses look more monstrous, none of them are sustaining injuries.

Perhaps the reason the other realms are being affected isn't just because the Bishops are in Purgatory, but because they're in Purgatory with someone who's absolutely pissed with them.

Shamura knows the Bishops are bound for Purgatory. More on that in a different post. Kallamar most likely knows too, hence his fear of dying. These two are the most "aware" when they're in their Purged state, and Kallamar may even be more aware than Shamura. Everyone seems to be fighting an illusion of Lamb while the actual culprit beats their ass and tears them apart. Except Kallamar. Kallamar has to be able to see the true attacker (at least sometimes) because he's gained items from the new environment: the tooth of a beast, and a tentacle impaled on a stick.

"Free me! Let me out!" "Stay back! Stay away! Mercy, Red Crown, mercy..."

In the first quote, Kallamar knows that either Narinder or Lamb is listening at that moment. And he demands their help. When Lamb does finally come to help him, he says the second quote. Which wouldn't make any sense, right? He requests their presence and then tells them to stay away.

Unless, of course, he's not begging Narinder or Lamb for mercy. He's begging a past Red Crown user, whose name he doesn't know, but whose face he does.

Or, OR. The Red Crown itself.

Though this is a Kallamar dialogue analysis, this quote from Shamura is relevant:

"I envy you not. While you may yet kill me, still I would not trade places."

What is so bad about the role Lamb plays in all of this? There are three paths for Lamb: 1) They die, 2) They die and are tortured until Narinder gets it out of his system, 3) They ascend as the new God of Death. The first two apply to Shamura as-is. So there has to be some type of baggage associated with the Red Crown or being the God of Death that Shamura would rather die than deal with.

#cotl theory #cult of the lamb #cult of the lamb theory #cotl kallamar #cotl bishops

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drstonetrivia · 1 year ago

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Chapter 213 Trivia (Part 2)

(Previous part)

The medusa part! What a delightfully spooky thing to happen in the story this month! I'll simply list what I believe to be the facts for this section so everyone can come up with theories this time.

The medusa sits on a fabric bed with a glass dome on top (Beauty and the Beast anyone?), attached to a vacuum pump that we see removing the air from inside. This will probably need to be periodically turned on to keep the vacuum state, since the seal isn't perfect.

It's then placed on a flat surface and locked in a safe, similar to the one in Corn City (where it also went off while it was locked…)

This safe is smaller, with a dial on the front rather than keys. The vacuum pump's tube has been disconnected, which we can just barely see.

"In space, no one can hear you scream" is something many people have heard said before, as sound waves can't travel in a vacuum. This should apply here too, which means that no matter how loud anyone could yell, it still wouldn't reach the device.

Most people seem to have left the room, leaving Yo to guard with Gen. At this point, the medusa has probably been in the vacuum for several minutes, meaning the device did not immediately activate in the presence of a vacuum.

With the presence of a bulkhead door, this safe may be on the Perseus rather than in a vault on land, but either are possible.

The first noises are rattling of some sort, "kata" in Japanese. We know the medusa has at least one moving part, but this sound effect is different.

(This is a guess because I can't find a source for the sound effect usage, but it might be the sound of the glass cracking more and more rather than a "rattling" sound? The final sound effect is also a "SNAP!" rather than another rattle…)

Yo puts his hands on the door handle, forgetting to unlock it first. At this moment the medusa activates, the known moving part making a "klk" sound.

Note that for Gen to hear this, either there's no longer a vacuum, or the click is loud enough to travel through the solids.

They both rush away while the device activates, first emitting an unfamiliar type of beam but still using the signature "fwoom" sound. A moment later, the usual beam has appeared and Gen and Yo have been petrified.

We can see from Gen's hair that a strong blast of something was emitted, however Yo's statue has shattered, possibly midair from how his head is flying compared to his body. Oddly, Gen and Yo are both posed exactly the same and yet only one of them shattered.

The petrification stone is supposedly harder (stronger?) on delicate parts, which makes it increasingly odd that Yo's hair spikes and cheek have broken off, since they should be protected against this sort of thing.

We know the medusa can be activated under water and probably with an unclear command since I can't imagine Ibara can speak clearly while his mouth is closed. I wonder if this has anything to do with what's happened now…

I've also seen a lot of people say that the medusa exploded, but we see no proof of that. The safe door is almost definitely still sealed since we don't see any fragments of metal exploding outward, and we don't have any non-medusa sound effects shown that would hint towards it.

The topic of AI being brought up, surpassing human intellect, and the HAL 9000 reference really makes me wonder if this is a teaser for future chapters…

#trivia #dr stone #chapters #213 #i love rereading these after the reveal. like that last statement there... i knew #i just wasnt aware i knew yet lol

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accidentalspaceexplorer · 1 year ago

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2023 Book Reviews: Science Fiction, Part 1

Third round-up of books I've read this year! This time we're diving into sci-fi, with again a pretty mixed bag (although I loved The Kaiju Preservation Society!)

1. In the Quick by Kate Hope Day: 3/5

Pitch: philosophical SF; girl searches for a missing space ship crew with her uncle's former student

Review: This was recommended to me by the Storygraph algorithm, and it sounded really good! Unfortunately I liked the beginning part of this book more than I liked the end, and two weeks later most of my thoughts were confusion about why the relationships were handled the way they were, and I'd forgotten most of the rest of it. Not a hit, but it had its moments. (Current me stepping in to say that I've almost completely forgotten this now, to the extent that I have no idea what I liked about the beginning anymore...)

2. The Million by Karl Schroeder: 3/5

Pitch: a million people take care of Earth so that every thirty years the other ten billion humans can wake up & party; definitely-not-supposed-to-be-there teen has to solve his "father's" murder without revealing his identity

Review: This was interesting, but it didn't end up being more than that for me. Although I found the concept interesting, I found the ending felt very rushed, and the big character decision didn't feel like it made sense emotionally or that there was enough textual basis to set up it being necessary.

3. The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi: 4.5/5

Pitch: guy looking for a new job ends up signing up to protect kaiju on an alternate-Earth

Review: In his author's note, Scalzi describes this book as a pop song - catchy and fun - and I'd definitely say that's an apt comparison! I had a great time with this, loved reading it, but I doubt it'll stay with me for a long time. I'm likely to recommend it though on the strength of the worldbuilding and fun science shenanigans!

4. Tell the Machine Goodnight by Katie Williams: 2/5

Pitch: quick fix machine can tell you what you need to be happy - but can it really???

Review: Once again, proof that my taste in books in 2018 is not up to snuff anymore. I had moved this up to the top of my TBR in 2018 and never made it to it, and I finally got around to it, only to be disappointed. This didn't feel profound, just stupid, and while there were a few storylines I enjoyed, there were a lot that I didn't care about or that actively annoyed me. I'm sure the ending for Pearl is supposed to be profound somehow, that everything in this book is supposed to be a meaningful discussion of capitalism or the alienation of man or something but honestly I just couldn't care less. Not my kind of book

5. You Sexy Thing by Cat Rambo: 4/5

Pitch: retired Admiral in sketchy galactic empire just wants to run a restaurant and stay retired, but ends up running for her life again

Review: It's got a fabulous concept, and this was definitely fun - I liked a lot of the characters in this, and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens down the line for them. However, the constantly bouncing perspectives didn't work well for me, and I was clearly supposed to feel more about some of the events of the book than I did, probably because I wasn't attached to the characters as much as I was supposed to. Ultimately, this was fun and I'll definitely read the sequel, but it also isn't a new favorite.

#book review #roundup reviews #2023 reviews #sf reviews

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sonicenvy · 1 year ago

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a solid 80-90% of my coolest craft/art/writing/making ideas come to me at the most inconvenient of times:

late at night when i am trying to sleep

in the shower

at work while im helping someone out with a thing

while i am biking or driving

when i am on a train car or bus having to stand instead of sit

tonight's inconvenient idea was for a new, different embroidery hoop that wasn't the pattern i downloaded and printed onto my dissolvable stabilizer, stuck onto fabric and mounted into a hoop (and then bought the thread for) and started on.

This idea was to do some of the images from the book of kells. I am especially fond of the very famous folio 27v which is from the gospel of matthew and depicts the symbols of the four evangelists (matthew, mark, luke and john as the man, the wingèd lion, the wingèd calf and the eagle). The one that seemed to be the least technically difficult to stitch in my mind was the wingèd calf (luke) so I cut the image out of the page in photoshop, enlarged it and printed it out. Once printed out I made a (clumsy) tracing of it onto another paper, which I'll have to refine and ink later. For now, I'd call that proof of concept.

After inking, ill probably scan it back into the computer and make a vector of it and print that vector out on the water dissovlable stabilizer to attach to my fabric. I decided to go about this route because, frankly, I'm shite at tracing things digitally with my ancient wacom tablet (and my ipad is too old to do apple pencil + procreate which would probably be better. Plus, like, I have a light box, why not use it?

As a side note I cannot draw AT ALL, but I am passable at tracing because of embroidery and because I traced stuff all the time for assignments back in primary school that we were supposed to draw stuff for if I couldn't get away with doing layer collages cut out with my x-acto knife for the project instead. (yes i was a single digit age child with an x-acto knife. my dad had an a+ parenting moment when I was like, maybe 5 and taught me how to cut out things (mostly my paper dolls) with an x-acto knife. I didn't even know how to use scissors at the time lmaooooooo. because x-actoing shit out is soooo much better, as I result i still stink at scissor cutting things.)

anyways. in case you were wondering about what the little guy im planning to embroidery looks like.... boom!

he's just a little guy! medieval monks drew all kinds of fun and funky creatures and frankly, dear old irish/scottish medieval monks, im obsessed. y'all dont get me started on medieval art and illuminate manuscripts or ill be here for 100000 years. my bones will be telling you about medieval art.

the other embroidery projects that are totally still going to happen:

the sea shell pattern i downloaded. good thing i didn't have to pay for it....

a blue morpho or a paper kite butterfly.

some kind of stitch sampler

other fiber art projects:

that crocheted shawl i downloaded a pattern for a kajillion years ago

the giant blue crocheted scarf that I got about 60% of the way through making from that pound o' love yarn skein.

mending. so. much. mending.

#margaret babbles #personal bs #obviously the actual thing that i need to be doing is working on my sleep and applying to grad school but hey here i am instead....#this post completely ignores the at least 5x projects i have going on in the pottery studio....#so much art ideas and soooo little completion #don't talk to me or my 10000000000000000 art concepts ever again lmao #also lets not think about my ever growing list of fic wips and giffing ideas #no siree

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akehoshimystar · 4 months ago

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Chapter 5

Ito: (If Mari-san is going to pull such an elaborate prank, I have to be prepared as well.)

I wondered if there was anything I could do, so I have been playing the horror game "Find me!" little by little every day.

Akehoshi: ….Huh? It’s not everyday I get to see Ito-san that focus on the game. Ito: Akehoshi-kun. Akehoshi: And a scary one at that~ Ito: Oh. It’s not really a personal preference or anything… Akehoshi: Ahaha, I know. It’s about Maochi, right? I heard he had an idea who might have sent that jewel and card. Ito: Yeah. And I realized that this game might be the motif, so I gave it a try for a reference sake. Akehoshi: Hard working as always, huh. Can I sit next to you and watch? I've got a little time before my work appointment tonight. Ito: Go ahead. It's not something that’s really worth showing, though.

Akehoshi: That’s not my aim. What I want to watch is you, Ito-san. Ito: Eh? Akehoshi: Yura said that your reaction while playing this game was quite amusing. Ito: (Yuragi-kun!)

Tomose: Coming in. Ito: Onda-san? Good work. Akehoshi: Hello. It's quite rare to see Tomose-san in the office. Tomose: Not really. My stay tends to be short, so you probably didn’t have that many chances to meet me here. Yu has put together some changes to the recipes for the upcoming Halloween event. If Kise isn't here, make sure you give it to him later. Ito: Wow, it’s already done…… Thank you. He’s at the store right now, so I'll take care of it for the time being. Akehoshi: Tomose-san is also a member of the dress-up event, right? Did you hear about Maochi's customer? She might come to the event. Tomose: Information acquired. Akehoshi: Let's find that person together. Tomose: I'll respond if there is instruction. Unless that happens, the hall is under your jurisdiction. Akehoshi: Ahaha. I guess so. Tomose: I’ll take my leave now. Ito: Yes, thank you for your cooperation.

It only took the flash of a moment for Onda-san to leave the office.

Akehoshi: As clear-cut as ever. Just like Yu-san, Tomose-san draws the line when it comes to work as well. Ito: (Drawing the line, huh….)

"The hall is under your jurisdiction" Those words remind me vaguely of the lunchtime service the other day.

Ito: (…I wonder if it was also the case at that time.) Akehoshi: So… Did you get anything from that game? Ito: Unfortunately, there wasn't much to say… Ito: It's a game with very little text, and there's no clear explanation for why the protagonist's mother became an evil spirit. Akehoshi: Really? Ito: The system allows you to advance to the next room every time you find an item. First, it's a drawing the protagonist made as a child. Then, it's a sticker that he put on the closet. After that, it’s the first portrait the protagonist drew of his mother. The next one is the shoes he wore at the entrance ceremony, followed by his elementary school test papers… From all those clues, I can see that she really cared about the protagonist. Akehoshi: Ah. So those were things his mother treasured. She must be happy to see all the stuff that serve as proof of his growth… Ito: Yeah. Akehoshi: …..She loves, she cherishes, she’s worried. Maybe she’s so attached to the point where she can’t leave him behind even after death. Ito: …..An attachment issue? Akehoshi: I've never been a mother or died, so I can’t say for sure. But maybe that's how it goes. She used to be a human being after all. Ito: ………………I guess so.

Strong love can become obsession. Even if it's the unconditional love of a mother to her child.

Akehoshi: And what happens to the protagonist and his mother at the end of this game? Ito: There are several endings. There is one happy ending where the protagonist realizes that the evil spirit is actually his mother and she is able to rest in peace. As for the other route…. There is the one where the protagonist doesn't realize until the end… I guess that’s a bad ending where the evil spirit aka. his mother takes the him away. Akehoshi: I see. Ito: (.………Just a theory. What if Mari-san sees Mao-san as the protagonist of this game?) (Actually. Let's stop there.)

"She’s a loving and kind person.” Recalling what Mao-san said, I admonished myself for imagining something bad. But then I remembered the price of the jewel, and the bad thought began to arise again. I just hoped that it would end up being just a rude misunderstanding on my part.

The morning of the opening day of the Halloween cafe arrived. The situation suddenly shifted from 10 to 100….

Ito: Passed away...? Tomose: ………

Yuzuru: Yes… It hasn’t been long since her demise. I called the number written on the request form, but it seemed like she had been away for a while, so I left a message instead. Then…. Yesterday, her son called me back. He informed me she had passed away the other day after a long battle with illness. Ito: Is that so… Was that message card and jewel sent by Mari-san? Yuzuru: It's a matter of privacy, so I couldn't confirm the request, but it's highly likely that Soneto-sama send it. It seemed like her decease had occurred just a few days before that. Tomose: …I'm no expert on games or riddle. But can someone who's been fighting an illness pull off that stunt?

Ai: That's why I called you here. If the sender is really Soneto Mari, no one will come into contact with her at today's dress-up event, right? In that case, I'll consider finding out more about her son and leave this to the police. But the problem here is…. What if the sender is not Soneto Mari. Since invaluable jewel is involved, it may be necessary for the ST Dept. to deal with this matter. Plus, the one who will contact you one day will either be the real sender…. or the third party. Tomose: If the third party's goal is to steal the jewel or harm Aporia or customers, that’s when I’ll act. Ai: That’s the plan. Ito: …….. Ai: The letter was addressed to Ukyo, so I did everything I can to ensure his safety. I even had Shido pick him up from his place this morning. He has his own way of defending himself, so there's no need to stick around him. Just respond according to the situation. Tomose: Copy that. Ito: …………Kise-san. Have you told Mao-san about Mari-san……? Yuzuru: Yes, I have. I called him as soon as I found out yesterday.

Kise-san said with hesitation and smiled sadly. The expression on Mao-san's face when he told me about Mari-san suddenly came back to me.

Ito: (…Mao-san may not be the type of person who would lose focus on his work because of that.) (Even if that's the case, I'll do my best to support him to the best of my ability.)

Chapter 6

#break my case #buremai #joseimuke #Hinomiya Akehoshi #Onda Tomose #Kise Yuzuru #Kosaka Ai

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sacred-stanning · 11 months ago

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Chapter 15 Part 3: Watch out, Eirika!

I want to get at least some of Ephraim's army up north to help out Eirika's group before they get overwhelmed, so I start by sending Franz north to get this Mercenary.

Tana and Cormag move in to take out one archer, and chip the other. Usually you need to be careful about sending fliers into the range of archers, but I checked the numbers, and neither of them will die to one arrow, so we're all good here.

Ephraim goes into the village. The old woman says that she heard about Jehana Castle falling, and she wonders what happened to the queen, "Ee-shoo-meh-ah". (I would have guessed something like "Ishmere", but it looks like the official translation name is "Ismaire".)

The woman gives us a Master Proof, which can be used to promote any unpromoted unit, regardless of class type. It's got the same name in Japanese that these seals had in Thracia.

I leave Gerik in range of the Axe Fighter, and Lute in range of the Shaman.

Up above, I leave Eirika's group like this. Eirika and Saleh are in range of the Mercenaries.

Here's what Saleh looks like in battle, by the way.

The archer I couldn't finish off goes after Tana, who dodges and then ruins his day.

And Lute fears no mage. She has no peer amongst all of mage-kind.

Next turn, Innes finishes off the Mercenary who attacked Eirika. I think Saleh was able to double the other one with Thunder and destroy them on enemy phase.

Also, I forgot to introduce them, so here's Innes. He's a Sniper, and he's a good pre-promoted unit.

Eirika is as good as we trained her to be in the early game, so here she is with her maxed out speed and 7 strength!

Eirika and Ephraim have one more map before they can promote from what I remember. You don't have to use the non-main lord in most maps, but I like Eirika, and I've put some investment into her, so I think I'll probably keep using her, though I am running low on deployment slots at this point...

And here's Saleh, the Sage. He's not a bad unit, but I'm attached to my magic users that I've already trained up, so I probably won't use him after this map, except maybe for that one map later that has a bizarrely large deployment limit.

At any rate, I leave the three of them here like this. One of the 2 wyverns that started moving will be able to hit either Saleh or Eirika next turn. I'm guessing they'll go for Eirika since she's going to do way less damage in return than Saleh would.

Down below, Lute takes out another Axe Fighter who moved towards the bottom group.

And I leave Tana in range of the Luna Shaman.

Also, Tethys is very useful, but never does cool combat stuff that gets her into photos, so I'll post her level up just as a reminder that she is here, and she's wonderful.

So like I guessed above, the wyvern goes after Eirika. She does plural damages to him on the counter. (This is what sword-locked 7 strength looks like...)

Lute: "You're already dead."

And Tana easily defeats the Luna Shaman and gets his 2100G tome.

Next time: Flier spam

#fire emblem #sacred stones #fire emblem the sacred stones #fe8 #ファイアエンブレム #聖魔の光石

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bonksoundeffect · 3 years ago

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Update on Solana and Castis's design

Personal headcanon is that Garrus inherited his aim and looks from his father and his temperament, and tech savvy from his mother. That’s why I gave Castis a carapace shape similar to Garus's (wider rim, but might also make the edges taller later on) while Solana has a carapace shape that's closer to what we see in other turians.

(Here's a post on the female turian re-design I'm working on rn if you're interested)

I know in his canon appearances Castis has normal mandibles, but I wanted to give him a distinguished vibe similar to Victus make him a dilf.

Lmk what you guys think about his mandible markings, I only added them bc otherwise they felt naked to me, but I can also keep him more lore-friendly 🤔

(Image courtesy to this amazing mod)

As for the colour scheme, I'm keeping Castis' lovely orange and blue C-Sec armour from the comic. The man's bde is strong enough to make it work and is also required dad fashion 🧡💙

For Solana, it's gonna be similar to ME2 Garrus with blue and black and maybe some silver accents. She has the a slightly modified Phantom armour (Nihlus's armour) so you can probably imagine the final result.

(I've also just realised as I'm typing this that the armour has asymmetrical design with only one tube attached to the right side kms)

Also the little line with G next to it is- as you might've guessed- proof that Garrus is the shortest member of the family. 🥰

Anyways, I'll add more details as I think of them bc tbh it's 6am rn and I haven't slept all night. I'm also debating rn if I should create a design for Garrus's mom as well, but if I do I might need assistance with some things 😔

Instagram | Buy me a Coffee | Commissions

#castis vakarian #solana vakarian #mass effect #garrus vakarian #fanart #turian #female turian re-design

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fatphobiabusters · 2 years ago

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tw eating disorders: y'all got opinions on whether it's best to go to a therapist, a dietician, or both when my issues with food restriction are 10000% based on being impoverished and neglected as a kid? I kind of need guidance on what, exactly, will make me feel full, but also there is such a deep terror attached to the thought of eating enough to not be hungry that I definitely need professional help. I'm. Strugglin' right now.

Hi! It sounds like what you're dealing with might be anxiety rather than an eating disorder, at least from what I'm reading in this small message here. I could be wrong about that though. If it's not an eating disorder, then working with just a therapist might be all you need. I can relate to having food anxiety from being poor as a child too. I also had a large family, which added to the food scarcity anxiety. Except instead of that causing me to restrict food, it gave me the feeling that if I don't eat [blank] food now, I will never have it again for the rest of my life, so I have to eat seconds especially before my brothers eat the rest. I don't think I ever did overeat because of it, but it definitely gave me a lot of anxiety and has taken me time to unlearn. It's probably partially why when I buy takeout from a restaurant, I'll buy enough for a lot of leftovers. It helps me feel less like this yummy food is scarce and something I can never have again. Becoming an adult and buying my own food has helped me unlearn some of this anxiety as well. If you go to a therapist and they think working with a dietician could help, they might also be able to refer you. So you can always start out with just a therapist and add a dietician later. I definitely recommend practicing intuitive eating if you can, and I believe there are some intuitive eating workbooks available to buy online that could help. I'm glad that since you know of this blog, you probably already know the basics of fat activism and will hopefully be able to use that to advocate for yourself in getting a therapist/dietician who are not fatphobic and do not support diet culture. I may be wrong about this, but I think there might be differences between dieticians, nutritionists, etc., so that might be something to research before choosing one. I also don't know if this might ease your anxiety, but I know in America there are food pantries that give free food, and some don't even require proof of meeting a certain level of poverty. I hope knowing about this resource might help you feel better, but I have a feeling you might be well acquainted with food pantries already.

-Mod Worthy

#ed mention #food insecurity #ask #Mod Worthy #Gods no longer tread here

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leon-on-the-froggy-chair · 1 year ago

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GOD THIS POST IS SO FUCKING EVERYTHING, THIS IS S U C H SUCH AN IMPORTANT TOPIC TO ME, AND I COULD GO ON FOREVER ABOUT THIS IF I HAD MORE TIME. SO MANY OF MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WERE REPRESENTED HERE AND AAUGH

BUT I HAVE SOME LIL THINGS I'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE

(A bit late oopsie daisy dndjdjjd. This is also not proof read, so whoops if nothing makes sense or if I go off topic bc this branched into so many other thoughts and i ended up with 3 more essays started in my google docs lmao.) (I'm also very sorry about the very clunky flow of this lmao)

BEFORE I GET INTO IT:

This is all just my personal interpretation, you can disagree with my takes. This is just a silly ramble.

Massive Warning: For talk of trans issues, gender dysphoria throughout and later talk of body horror and brief mention of SA. (I'll leave another warning for these as well as a boundary to mark where it starts and ends)

ALRIGHT SO

Something I noticed about Luis is he is character who cares A LOT about his visual presentation and this was clear to me when i first saw him. Like there was no NEED for so much D R I P in the situation he's in. Except, there is to him.

For Luis, his appearance is one of the only things he has any control over. With everything in his life and the events of it, and being trapped in a place he is fighting so hard to get out of and trapped in himself in a way with the seemingly unbreakable chain cycle of actions. Managing how he looks is something he can actually have some control over.

And this resonated with me for a lot of reasons, and speaks a lot to his character. But especially as a trans person and looking at this through a trans lens. I know myself and many other trans-masculine individuals spend a lot of time on appearance. And for myself personally, pre-T and under circumstances that aren't quite in my control which interfere with transitioning, I take a lot of extra care in my appearance to present as the type of guy I want to be seen as. I want to look as if I have things together and like I am confident because that is how the male figures I've looked up to are: put together, confident, cool, etc. And I want to have control over the things in my appearance i *can* have control over. And I've noticed that Luis takes that extra care to present himself as the man he wants to be and the man he wants to be seen as, and probably (as stated by OP): like the people he looked up to growing up, and the men he probably looked up to when he was all on his own with no guiding figure in the big scary new world.

Back on trans themes.

And idk but that sounds scary asf, he was probably scared as all hell. And coming into such new territory that is entirely unfamiliar with such fear usually results in attaching to the idea of the type of person who could handle that fear. Somebody tough who could face the world and take it head on "like a man". (I feel this same psychology also applies to Leon but this aint about him.) And for Luis, one who doesn't let all the bad shit get to him. And one of the masculine figures that is highly important to Luis, who faced conflict and scary things head-on with courage and a fun hopeful chivalric demeanor and attitude was Don Quixote.

Don Quixote as a character is a humanized attempt to fill a role not given to one by society. Which can be likened to Luis in a lot of ways like going and becoming a scientific genius despite where he grew up, or in a trans of gender context. As Don Quixote represents active pursuit of authentic self, themes of who one is meant to be and who one wants to be. Theres a lot of queerness to be found in Don Quixote's general challenging of social norms by taking on an unconventional chivalrous identity. And his refusal to conform with social norms and who he is expected to be is espscially resonant with gender queerness. In some ways Don Quixote could be interpreted as a story which celebrates individuality, challenges social norms, and embraces self defined identity. And those others who support it and accept him of course. And we all KNOW Luis relates to Don Quixote and the themes are extremely important to him. Now you tell me why a dude's favorite story would be one with heavy themes of embracing individuality, chasing authetic self and trying to be what society says you cant be. Because to me, thats pretty resonant for trans kids. And kids who are generally- outsiders.

This brings me back to how he grew up. As was already VERY WELL PUT in the og post, Luis was a bit of an outcast in a glorified Catholic cult.

And as somebody who grew up in a very very religious external environment, but been sort of an outsider to it I find a lot of relatability with that. Now funny story about me, my special interests as a kid were in, you guessed it: biology, anatomy, and huzzah parasitology. Which was VERY very much not accepted in my environment by anyone but family and had me growing up sort of outside the social norm. And speaking from that experience I can tell you it only made me grow further from the social norm, i ended up much more experimental. And listen, Luis to me seems the type who'd be experimenting. He a scientist after all. But on a more serious note: (speaking off of my experience here as well) Being an outsider due to things he enjoys and growing up being taught and constantly exposed to a certain set of beliefs about how one should present and live their life, being taught essentially that what he liked was evil and it being something that is rejected entirely by the village he grew up in. Having to leave in order to be allowed to engage in what he likes, and the person who supports him, his grandfather, knowing that and wishing he was able to go someplace better that'd be more accepting of him and what he likes, somewhere he'd be able to engage with what he loves... Now, we're talking about modern science here. But this could EASILY be about being queer. And imo, I sense his upbringing would result in a bit of internalized homophobia and especially that distinct innate fear of himself that specific brand of internalized homophobia tends to cause.

Adding onto something else stated in the original post as well. Luis isnt the stereotypical depiction of masculinity. Leon is a picture perfect definition of masculine. (I have a whole analysis on this too and the very transgender coding of him and his relationship to Krauser.) And the utter juxtaposition of them and how they show emotions that are seen stereotypically as "weak" and "feminine" such as feelings of care, gentleness, etc. Luis is much more open about how he expresses these feelings. Whereas for Leon he kinda tries to shove these feelings down, also for a multitude of reasons. But one of them, I think, is Krauser. Who even during the fights in game BERATES Leon for having any semblance of sympathy and for not being "tough" enough and not being essentially: "man enough". Calls Leon "pretty" as a feminizing insult and as a way of calling him weak. Its toxic masculinity at its strongest. (And I have a essay about this in my drafts lmao.)

IGHT WARNING TIME

There will be talk of body horror, gender dysphoria and briefly mentioned themes of SA which may be triggering so please beware:

Please skip ahead to the next portion if these subjects are uncomfy and take care of yourself!

_____________________________________

Something specific to Luis that fascinates me some of the MOST is how he was at one point infected and had to remove the plaga himself. The self exorcism allusions are SUPER neat and I love that take. My lens on it comes from a little bit of a body horror and gender dysphoria POV.

A little background on me, I'm very big on body horror. It is one of my favorite things to illustrate and write. And it hits very hard the subject of it in relation to transness and being meant to fill a specific role- meet a certain physical requirement- have a certain body. And having that horrifyingly outside of your control. Which relates heavily to Las Plagas and can tie heavily into a lot of different themes. I have a lot to say about the body horror aspect of Las Plagas and Los Illuminados. But looking at it specifically through a trans lens and through Luis' experience with it is my favorite.

The brutal imagery of tearing into oneself in order to remove something foreign that you know shouldnt be in your body, something which taking away your ability to live your life and your ability to exist freely as yourself, that obligates you to play into a preset determined role. And the separate but very very real horror of having your bodily autonomy taken away by it. And having to take things into your own hands to get it back, alone because WHO is going to help you? You're alone to deal with this.

It's honestly graphic and horrifying, and we really don't talk enough about how traumatic this must've been for Luis. But it's also my favorite detail about him because it shows how fucking badass he is.

It's surgery in a house of dissection. Luis went against the role that was literally forced upon him, and ripped out the thing that exists to squash someone into a set role determined by some prestigious religious leader. He took back control of himself and who he is and who he wants to be in a place that literally tears him apart.

And is very reminiscent to me of my experiences with gender dysphoria. From horrifying feelings of a body with pieces that arent yours that place you into certain societal roles against your will, and the changes your body goes through against your will, but also that fucking fEELING when you do get to take some of your control back. Taking back and being who you are against odds. Whether through gender affirming medical care, makeup, clothing, haircuts, pronoun and name changes, a really fucking good rock album that affirms your gender. Saying fuck you to a societal role predisposed upon you against your will by your body and using your free will.

This is brief and unrelated to the original subject. But I find Las Plagas as a whole to be a great allegory for SA. I do want to get into this subject more in a separately labelled and appropriately trigger warning tagged post about the horror of the loss of bodily autonomy in RE4. And in Luis' specific case having, nowhere to turn in a place that traps him with it, where it is normalized, and how that heavily resonates with me as an SA survivor.

_____________________________________

Now I wasn't entirely sure where I wanted to mention this. But a month or so ago right before SW was announced, I was going through overexamining details in the house where I'd have to guess Luis was staying prior to the events of the game. But i found this doll?? Now it could be an easter egg or have an actual other meaning that I'm missing. But my brain made a silly headcanon about him playing with dolls as a kid. Luis isnt traditionally masculine and i feel that as a kid he wouldn't have been one of those "was always super super stereotypicslly boy-ish" trans kids (Not to invalidate them at all).

Moving on to a much lighter note:

(He also had a thing of smoked paprika and I find the idea of him being literally in hiding but still prioritizing seasoning to be really fucking funny and very him.)

As a sudden conclusion to my ramble,

As the original post stated. In Luis' final moments he was practically begging to be seen as all he has been fighting to be for his whole life. To be seen as he is. And for someone to see he's trying, and for someone to acknowledge him who hes been trying to be. And yeah, Leon acknowledges him as such.

But not in the: 'you tried your best' type of way. No, no more in a 'you just are' kind of way. In some way it felt to me when Leon delivered that Don Quixote line that he was telling Luis: You are who you wanted to be when you were growing up. You are who little you looked up to. You got to be the man you looked up to, and like the men you always wanted to be, and who you tried so hard to be. You did it.

And yeah.

TELL ME ABOUT TRANS LUIS!!! I WANT HIM TO BE TRANS SO BAD! (Also he has a giant neon sign over his head that says gay, this man reeks of homosexual)

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE OMG HEYYYYY HIIIIIII HELLOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I’m SOOOOOO sorry this took so long I had SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!! I plan on SOMEDAY Doing Like. A properly credited and researched document on why I think Luis is trans so this post is more or less kind of a tl;dr rather than a super proper read?????????? And ofc obligatory ‘this is just my own reading and personal interpretation if you disagree please just keep your opinion to yourself!!!!!’

Also this isn’t proofread like. At ALL so please ignore any sentences that seem wonky or weird HDBEHENDUDJX

ALSO also I do NOT give permission for this post to be screenshotted or reposted ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!! No part of this!! Don’t steal!!

Trigger warning for just general mentions of transphobia, religious transphobia and also I talk the death statistics for trans people near the end, so please keep that in mind when reading!!

Ok so, I’m gonna try and put this as chronologically as possible BXBSHDNSHDND but starting at the beginning from when Luis was little there’s already a few things we can pick up on

Luis has a pretty unorthodox family; his mum died when he was little and his dad left so he had to be raised by his Grandfather, and, ask any Trans person around you and they’ll tell you it’s oftentimes the people in their lives who weren’t their direct parents who decided to pick them up and raise them and accept them as they truly are- I feel like you could probably read this with Luis’ grandfather if you really wanted to, too. From what we can TEEEEEEELLL Luis held his grandfather and the memory of him very near and dear to his heart (ie referencing him in conversation, saying ‘not again’ when the medicine burns in seperate ways etc) so you could probably guess that maybe Luis’ grandfather was a surprisingly accepting figure in Luis’ life!!!!!

Which would also line up with the little we know about him- their house was somewhat far away from the rest of the village and from what the notes about him read, his grandfather was a bit of an outcast????? It seemed like the only person who checked in on him regularly was Bitorez- once again, another positive male figure in Luis’ life that he could theoretically look up to and admire.

AND we know that Luis’ grandfather encouraged his love for science and biology- something that prooooobably would’ve been frowned upon in a super conservative catholic glorified cult. So already, Luis and his Grandfather are a bit unorthodox in the setting they live in.

Then we cut to Don Quixote; obviously there’s a LOT to dissect about Luis and his love for that book, and it’s pretty common knowledge how,,,,,,,,, g a y that book is HXNEHENEUDIX like MAAAAAANY-a historians have already pointed that out I don’t need to beat a dead horse but ask literally any trans person around you and they’ll tell you about how they had a fascination with like,, Warrior Cats or Animorphs or Percy Jackson or Peter Pan growing up only to find out they were trans later. Trans kids are pretty drawn to books with unlikely protagonists who don’t fit the usual stereotypes and go on adventures with a whacky misfit family they formed by themselves- and Don Quixote kiiiiiiiiiiiinda falls under that pattern????? It’s a REALLY weird book and I wanna get into why later but it wouldn’t be shocking to assume that Luis probably grasped onto that idea of finding love and acceptance even though he was weird and unusual and he too could go on chivalrous adventures and do good in the world and be loved for who he is (I’ve kinda gone into this before and I plan on going into it again I’ll tag you in that post!!!!)

There’s also something to note about the fact that none of the village notes reference Luis by his first name. Luis is apparently a very “strong and masculine” name so if we ARE going off of the assumption that Luis is trans (which like,,. Duh HDNEHENDHS) then we can probably assume he picked that name for himself

It’s also pretty notable to note (hah) that like,,,,,, just in general, a lot of kids who grow up in a super religious environment just. Turn out gay and trans. I dunno why. I dunno what’s the exact statistic for that but like. Cmon. We’ve all seen it. We all know it right

Then huzzah! Luis’ Grabdfather dies!!! How sweet of him!!!!! /s obviously but Luis takes his death as an opportunity to run from home- again, something that’s sadly quite common amongst younger trans people it seems. When you loose your only support at home, and suddenly that home becomes unsafe, oftentimes the only solution is to run.

Now I’ve talked MUUUUUUCH more in depth about it in this post but considering the fact that Luis was probably a young teenager, an immigrant from the middle of nowhere, and had zero family or support- there’s a less than zero chance that he probably would have stumbled across the queer community one way or another. See, all throughout the 20th century, the queer and poc/immigrant communities were VERY intertwined- now I am WHITE AS ALL HELL so their history isn’t something I’m able to speak on with any amount of grace as actual people of colour could, so I’ll keep this breif and also if I’ve misrepresented anything PLEEEEAAASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME

Basically, like I said- the communities were very intertwined. They’d help each other and were sometimes seen as like the same circle of people when it came to what they were fighting for. All throughout history, this comes up time and time again- which is why I can only assume that Luis, a young person of colour having come from basically the middle of nowhere, would most likely find solace and a place in both communities- and would ABSOLUTELY have explored his gender and sexuality because of it. Even if he WAS cis there’s no way he wouldn’t have at least dabbled in a bit of the ol gender exploration every now and then

((Also, VEEEERY important to note that yes although trans and poc history are very intertwined they are still very seperate histories. It’s VERY IMPORTANT to not erase poc voices from this discussion when talking about this aspect of history- listen to your poc friends first and foremost before all else))

It’s also probably good to note that a few universities around that time were pretty notoriously open about being queer-friendly but we have no clue what exact university in Europe Luis would have gone to but idk we can probably guess he fooled around with some men and women HANSYWNEYENDUCJX

Then we cut to umbrella. I and a few other people have gone into how umbrella would have most likely groomed a young Luis into being excited to work with them and willing via offering him a place to stay, a college degree, a stable life etc etc but there’s also a sense of horror there when you take into account they could’ve offered him the ability to medically transition. Something that was NOT easy or very safe to do at the time. And plus this is resident evil so we can only guess what magical hoodicky they would’ve gotten to do that GDBEYWNDYDJ

From what we can tell, luis honestly enjoyed his time with umbrella!!!! He seemed to be friends with his coworkers and he was proud of the work he was doing (Yknow, before he would have found out it was all a lie and was going to kill millions HXBEHENEH) and honestly isn’t that every trans persons dream????? To have a job where you’re accepted and can feel safe at??????? To have friends who can accept you???????? It just makes what all went down all the more heartbreaking to me if we DO view him in the lens of being a trans character!!!!!!!!!

And then, of course, for the second time in his life; everything comes crumbling down. I’ve done seperate analysis on this and I plan on doing another cuz what I’m about to mention just hits,,,,,,,, S O O O O close to home to me, but when everything in his life gets destroyed AGAIN;

Luis chooses to go back to Valdelobos.

And isn’t that just so devastating?????? Because we as humans ALL do that- when life gets so bad and so intense we have no clue what to do, we all wanna turn to our parents or our childhood homes and get a hug and that feeling of nostalgia and safety from when we were kids that we missed.

But ask any other trans person and they’ll tell you that a lot of the time, that’s not what you’re gonna get; and that’s what happened to Luis. He went home, hoping- BEGGING- for some kind of support from the nightmares he just went through, only to be thrown straight into another one. Los Illuminados had been taken over and reverted his childhood home into something totally unrecognisable and forced him to work for them or else he’d literally be tortured. And isn’t that just,,,,, made all the more depressing when you look at it from a trans angle????

In this case scenario, when a lot of Trans people are forced to return to unsafe homes- they’re forced to push down their identity for their own safety. And reading that in Luis is just all the more devastating

And then there’s the whole thing where Luis literally SELF SURGICALLY REMOVED THE LAS PLAGAS FROM HIMSELF????????? WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE TALK ABT HOW TRAUMATISING THAT MUSTVE BEEN????????????? I know @/katabay made an INCREDIBLE post going into a religious reading on this and how I’m Don Quixote Alonso himself preforms an excorsism on himself and it’s weirdly erotic?????? And how that translates to Luis’ Plagas removal- they also made INCREDIBLE art go check it out- but throughout history there are a LOT of poems made by “”””women who want to be men”””” (aka trans men) who were religious at some point and describe the sensation of binding or getting top surgery to that of having an exorcism (this was mostly done to convince local churches that Hey no it was totally cool actually just let us get gender affirming care pretty pretty please) so, y’know,,,, maybe that meme that Luis showing Leon is scar was actually him coming out as trans wasn’t that far off HEBWYENXUXJXJDNC

And there’s also just the whole fact that he was a scientist that plays into this, too- Catholicism, specifically the hardcore Catholicism that Luis grew up with, absolutely HATES science. And the fact that Valdelobos seemed to be permanantly stuck in this 18th century cult-like state only confirms that they probably would have been anti-medicine, too; not only adding onto Luis’ guilt but also making him a prestigious scientist all the more impressive. Imagery that Luis is shown with (like that lil casket he carried around in seperate ways filled with the suppressants Ada needed) is often used by people in cults similar to Valdelobos to prove that ‘oh science is the devil!!!’ Etc, and y’know what else is related to science????

Medically transitioning babey!!!!!! A lot of the times hardcore religious people, again in similar cults to Valdelobos, use terms like ‘mutulating’ to describe medically transitioning and use already devil-associated imagery like science and modern medicine to hammer home that hatred of trans people (also obligatory not all religious people are like this in fact MOST religious people aren’t like this I’m talking specifically situations like the Gloriavale cult etc etc)

So like,,,,, again, that whole meme that Luis made his own testosterone wouldn’t be too far off BXNSHENDHDNX

But then we get some light at the end of this very depressing tunnel HXNSHENDUJ;

Leon, Ada and Ashley

Now from here on out I’m gonna get into some more like,,, CHARACTER dissection so I figured here would be the best place to put this HDBEYENEUS; Luis fits ALL the stereotypes of a stealth queer person during his time period. Like,, you know the song Gay or European????? Yeah that isn’t a joke that’s a real rhing European queer and trans men did to basically hide the fact that they were queer. It’s like. The oldest trick in the book. Which is why it’s SOOOOOO funny to me when I see Reddit dudebros going “errrrrmm actually Luis isn’t gay it’s just his Spanish charm!!” LIKE DUDE. YOUVE FALLEN FOR T H E TRICK. THIS IS THE EQUIVALENT OF A BIRD USING THEIR TAIL FEATHERS TO DISTRACT A PREDATOR.

And also Spain in general just has a very long and very beautiful Queer and Trans history- obviously it’d be way too much to fit into this one post but I highly reccomend just,,,, looking it up for yourself. Queer people have always been around :))

Ok ok, back to Leon- I plan on someday taking apart and dissecting EEEEEEEEEVERY interaction between them cuz it’s just. It’s all SO GAY. But in general, Luis treats Leon SO much differently than Ashley and Ada but in a good way!!!!!

Luis isn’t afraid to be open around Leon. He isn’t afraid to be flamboyant and jokey and flirt with him- and hell, he probably did enjoy that chain scene HXNEHENEUDJDJ he isn’t afraid to be more vulnerable and just generally what you wouldn’t consider a stereotypical “manly-man;” he doesn’t conform to western societies of stereotypical masculinity, and he isn’t afraid to show that around Leon.

He’s open with Leon- he’s vulnerable and he very openly CARES about Leon. He truly wears his heart on his sleeve and this is for a MULTITUDE of different reasons but I think a big part of it is not just because he’s genuienly attracted to Leon but because leon is a shining example of a chivalrous knight to him

I and many others have gone into this further; but when Luis first met Leon in that body bag, it probably honestly WAS like he was meeting his very own Don Quixote for the first time. He was probably a shining example of everything he wanted to be; brave, kind, never makes mistakes- and again I’ve gone into this further but this truly does play into his character and his very noble quest for redemption and forgiveness a lot and viewing this from a Trans angle just gives that quest SO much more power

Capcom does their best to make Leon out to be a super strong manly-man and @highball66 has gone into some of Leon’s own queer coding, but I think Luis also sees through this. He sees through his macho dudebro masculinity and he sees a genuine and kind human being underneath; just as Leon had done for him. Leon is everything Luis wants to be in a man- just like his grandfather and probably countless male figures in his life before him. So he’s not afraid to open up to Leon; he isn’t held back by that expectation of toxic masculinity because he wasn’t raised that way.

And he’s the EXACT SAME with Ada and Ashley too!!!!!!!! He CARES about Ada! He’s CONSTANTLY looking out for her and giving her the benefit of the doubt and he’s always so polite and kind around her!!!!!!!! Like yeah he puts on the front of being a ladies-man but again like SOOO many others before me have mentioned that’s probably just a safety front!!!!!! He wears his heart on his sleeve around Ada and Ashley, too- he’s always SO polite around her I feel like not enough people point that out????? He offered his hand out for her to take before inspecting the blood, he’s always asking for permission before he touches her etc he’s so nice people don’t give him enough credit for that!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And theeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnn it aaaaaaaaalll comes crashing down when he diiiiiieeeeeeessss,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

It’s pretty important to note that Luis is killed by Krauser; and again, other people have gone into Leon and Krausers queer relationship coding a lot better than I have, but it’s pretty interesting to note that Luis was killed by the guy who pretty much encapsulates all forms of toxic masculinity (again, that meme that everyone jokes about that Krauser killed Luis cuz he was jealous of Leon’s new boyfriend might not be far off HXHWHDUXHSH)

Luis uses his final breath to save Leon- to save the man who has shown him forgiveness and empathy and love for the first time in god knows how long. He opens his heart up to Leon in his final moments; he does one last ‘such a loss to the ladies of the world eh?’ As a last-ditch effort to try and convince Leon that he tooooooootally isn’t queer you guys and to try and hold onto that sense of normality; but he drops that act immedietly after Leon shows him that he’s taking this seriously

He opens up to Leon and admits that he led a pretty shitty life. He spills his heart out to Leon and asks him if people can change. And I’ve said rhis before and I’ll say it again; this is Luis looking for some kind of confirmation. Some kind of forgiveness and some way of saying that Yes his life DID mean something- that people CAN change and CAN be loved like he loved Leon and Leon loved him. And, hell, if we’re REEEEEAALY tryna stretch here (which I mean this whole post is tbh HXBSHSNEHDNSHD) you could even read this as Luis asking for somebody to accept him as he truly is, and see past the facade of a super flamboyant cis straight man. It’s not a stretch to say this moment is him looking and hoping that Leon can see through his past actions and see the beautiful human being underneath- so it wouldn’t be crazy to view it under a queer light either

Then, of course, Leon says that iconic line; you were a fine knight, Don Quixote. Confirming to Luis that he WAS like the chivalrous knight he always looked up to when he was little. Not just for his bravery and confidence; but also for his exploration of gender and non conformity in his sexuality. Leon confirms that for him in his final moments.

Then of course there’s the nature of his death; the fact that he dies below his childhood village is pretty telling to me.

Now this is where I’m gonna get into some depressing statistics, so readers beware, but unfortunately, there is a good chunk of trans people who will die in their childhood homes for many reasons. There’s been a good chunk of trans people all throughout history who have lived long, full lives but still were buried in their childhood homes and towns under their dead name or under the gender they were assigned to at birth. It’s depressing and there really is no making light of it- which is why Luis dying in the village he grew up in and tried so desperately to escape from hits so hard to me.

• Now HOPEFULLY obviously I am N O T comparing Luis’ death to actual real trans people’s deaths. But as somebody who HAS lost trans friends to suicide, the manner of his death absolutely REMINDS me of that and thus hits home harder for me. Go give your trans friends a hug, basically

But on the bright side, at least he didn’t die alone. He had Leon; he had somebody who could, theoretically, show the world who he truly was and remember him by his true name and nature. Luis won’t be totally forgotten underground; he’ll have Leon and Ashley and Ada ro remember the man he truly was just like how many, many trans people who have passed away will have friends and loved ones who will remember them for who they truly are.

Now I don’t wanna end this whole analysis on such a depressing note so I’ll add this at the end; I genuienly think that even if you DONT headcannon Luis as Trans, adding that element to his character not only enriches his already INCREDIBLY well written story but also just generally means the world to trans people in real life, too

Like,,,,, I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll say it again; seeing a character who is so genuinely confident in themselves, so open about their emotions and their identity and who holds themselves in a way that isn’t stereotypically “masculine”- that honestly hits so much closer to home than any other trans headcannon ever has. I’ve gone into detail about how much Luis as a character means to me, but seriously, reading him from this angle lowkey makes me want to cry with how much it means to me HDBEHENEHDJX

Luis is a Beautifully written character who shows the best and worst in all of us humans- who shows that we all just want to love and be loved and be forgiven and given the opportunity to change. All trans people deserve that, too; we all deserve the opportunity to live our lives to the fullest.

Even if you want to comment ‘ErM weLl CapCoM woUlD nEVeR hAvE a TrAns ChaRaCTeR-“ does it really matter???? Does it matter if a character has a canon label slapped onto them, if people can already analyse that character from their own perspective and find deep meaning in that themselves????? Is a character who is canonically queer any more meaningful than a character who isn’t????? I don’t think so, cuz clearly, myself and many, many others find solace and comfort and relatability in the fine knight that is Luis Serra

And finally; André Peña, Luis Serra’s voice actor, has been VERY vocal about his support for trans people and has even said he absolutely 100% believes that Luis would believe in trans rights- so suck it transphobes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Luis is for US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#rambling about luis serra #praying this makes sense fndkjd #4am brain go BRRRRRRR #gender dysphoria #transgender #trans luis serra #i aint over the paprika thing i need to go get a screenshot of it

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stormblessed95 · 4 years ago

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Some people say "Jikookers' insecurities IS proof there can't be and isn't anything going on between Jikook. If they were confident about "there are a lot of things and hints leads me to believe they are boyfriends" why are so much insecurity present there? Even themselves know THAT jikook isn't romantic but they don't want to admit. They're just forcing their fantasies on Jikook" what do you think about this?

Anon, I think this second Anon i got basically in a way, answered this. So I'll combine them in this post:

Anon 2: You know what , we jikookers should just stop talking bout our haters. Just ignore the hate tweets ignore the hate comments. IGNORE. We should just discuss the beautiful moments jikook share with us. Thats more fun We all know what's our opinion on jikook and what's haters opinion on jikook so why waste our time on discussing that. Just Ignore the hate and discuss some good moments. Please.

Haters are gonna hate anon. And people who get insecure get insecure over nothing, really.

Is it normal to question things and reevaluate things from time to time? Yes. Is it okay to be insecure about everything in a relationship that doesn't belong to you? No. Do people being insecure actually change anything about what the relationship is between Jikook, romantic or otherwise? Also no.

People who get insecure so easily need to remember that Jimin and Jungkook, and literally the other members of BTS are REAL people. This is not a TV show or a book. Real relationships are not a storybook romance. Real (healthy) relationships are not driven by insecurities and jealousy. Real couples will not be attached at the hip all the time. Real couples will have other platonic relationships that are important to them and will sometimes take priority over the romantic one. They will take time for themselves sometimes. They will fight and go through phases. They will go on vacation alone or with other people. They will have separate interests than each other.

Example, I am downstairs writing this blog post, eating breakfast and watching my children play. My husband is upstairs alone, enjoying time to himself. H is getting to rest, relax and play some video games. He will probably come down in an hour or 2 and join us. Later tonight, I might take my book and retreat to my bedroom alone for a few hours. Its okay to spend time alone or with other people. Another example... When BTS starts touring again, I plan to travel to wherever I can get tickets to with a friend and spend a few days there and see them in concert. I don't plan on taking my husband. This literally has zero reflection on how much I love and cherish him and love spending time with him.

People need to also remember their boundaries as fans. Celebrities are entitled to a private life. People need to remember that we see Jikook at work and they share probably at most 15% of their lives with us and they share what they want us to see. Sometimes we get extra peaks behind the curtain, but we are not entitled to those. The only people who are entitled to their relationship, is Jimin and Jungkook themselves. And their relationship is whatever they want it to be, they do not have to conform to anything that anyone else wants them to have or do or thinks they need. As long as they are happy, their fans should be happy for them. Full stop.

I believe that Jimin and Jungkook are romantically involved, they have shown me in many ways through their words and actions over the years (both of them) things that make me believe this. I do not need constant 24/7 content to continue to believe this. And if other shippers need to spend over half their "proof" trying to disprove the actions of another ship... well I think that speaks for itself.

Don't let the haters get to you, ignore the insecurities (half of which are probably just from haters trying to sow doubt) and enjoy jikook for what they are, whatever that may be, and the content they and the rest of the members give us. Love them all for it. And make liberal use of your block button, its there for a reason!

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #kookmin #bts ships #jikook insecurities #haters gonna hate #fuck the haters

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bjpb08 · 3 years ago

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Thanks Flowers!

Sooooo.....

Sooooo...when someone throws down the gauntlet can't help but throw it back...literally, figuratively, whatever! Because they obviously dont know any of us. First go to archives you'll find many answers to what you choose to mock. You do your 'homework' we already did. If you think we don't back-up what I/we say...your bad...also once again you are so so wrong. As far as photoshopping it is usually backed-up with a person who has the equipment. Before the equipment is pulled out if you study photo/video manipulation at all, class 101, there are tell tale signs that don't need equipment. Go to school girl or boy...learn yourself something. Let me be clear these people are amatures as there are somethings that scream "something is wrong" whether it be photoshopping or doubles...and yes I have the proof. To the point what does it matter you wouldn't believe proof if it bit you in the ass. So find those things you can expound on that is meaningless. While I don't have ALL the answsrs, probably not even half. I do know when something is stinking up the place or minimizing it. You say no shaking of hand...I'll go with that! Even if he reached out to just touch her...what's that? They are supposed to be minimally bf/gf. A hug wouldn't have been out of line...but a hand that remains in the pocket with a clear attitude of not caring less, I will repeat not caring less, is a classic. Go read up on body language, it might enlighten you. This is 2014, according to their timeline they were together since 2009...some point about her not gold digging. Now they're saying 2012 because that's when she moved to LA... oh my, their "love grew". Also a house bought at that time that D knows nothing about and I venture to say a gf in close proximity, how droll. Now before you bit my head off...tit for tat...it happened. So even if 2012 she still hugs the wall and he squeezes his pants pockets in 2014. By this time he supposedly lives with her, sleeps with her...I said supposedly. Do you have proof...I dont. He drives out of said house, they have parties at said house, later she takes pics inside of said house. Nothing proves he lives there. Does that make your diatribe as flimsy as our so called non existance facts...try an acorn or tongue in cheek. Look them up you might learn! Now I am going to present you with the ability to dubb a video(attached)... think it could happen with a voice as well? If nothing else it should make you question. You dont have to question, but I dare you.

#Instagram

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voredere · 3 years ago

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ok i'm gonna stop vagueblogging and start correcting:

TUB ENCLOSURES ARE NOT ANIMAL CRUELTY (in most cases)

hear me out as someone who's been dealing with snakes for a decade (disclaimer: my experience has been almost exclusively tropical species, this may not apply to desert snakes). when you think of tubs, it can be easy to immediately think of them as abusive, because you're probably thinking of one of these:

this is a cheap plastic shoebox, and is obviously unsuitable for housing anything larger than a juvenile tarantula or maybe a hatchling corn snake (if modified). not only that, but snakes are escape artists, and will easily pop the lid off of this. there's no cross ventilation. if this is what you think a tub is, i don't blame you for thinking it's animal cruelty! and if someone out there is using these, it is!

but that's not what a reptile tub looks like.

this is a proper reptile tub set up. some keepers prefer to use paper towel (for reasons i'll explain later), but substrate isn't necessarily bad. the snake has room to stretch to its full length (though bigger can be better) and there's room for a soaking dish. there's no sharp edges for the snake to rub against. the tub is made of sturdy material that won't crack or warp easily under pressure, and locks into a rack designed to hold these types of tubs for an escape-proof home.

you may be thinking, it looks sad or boring, this can't possibly make the snake happy. but you gotta step back from the anthropomorphism and look at the facts.

-a tub enclosure makes it much easier to maintain ambient temperature and humidity. usually heat tape or pads are attached to the bottom on one side to create a temperature gradient. snakes don't require special lighting, and excessive light can be stressful. additionally heat lamps sap humidity. not good for tropical species. because tubs have cross ventilation rather than an open top, the humidity stays put-- this is extremely important, because species that require 75%+ humidity WILL develop respiratory infections if their needs are not met.

-generally the sides are opaque, and the front may be clear or the snake may only be visible when the tub is open. this may suck if you were hoping for a statement pet, but it makes the snake feel secure and comfortable-- fully clear enclosures can make reptiles feel exposed and insecure, even with a hide.

-easy to clean, sanitise, and maintain, particularly if you have multiple animals. i won't discuss breeding here, that's a talk for another post.

-they come in many sizes, for hatchlings all the way up to adults of small species (ie, ball pythons). while they do make tubs for larger species, i do not recommend these-- if your snake is ~10ft or larger, upgrade to a custom enclosure (animalplastics makes excellent ones in giant sizes). these are usually reinforced and lockable while maintaining the temperature and humidity control of a tub.

-typically inexpensive, so upgrading to a larger size is easy

but you may be thinking, why can't i use one of these?

i know it's tempting to have a big fancy tank for your gorgeous new reptile, but for non-desert species, this thing is a death trap.

-as i addressed earlier, the open top will leech humidity, making high humidity difficult to maintain without modifications.

-difficult to clean and sanitise, often bacteria can build up in the seams

-glass generally too thick for heating pads, must use lamp.

-easy to escape, unless you get a locking model

-clear walls, animal may feel exposed and unsafe

-expensive to upgrade if your animal grows

-sharp corners can cause snout rub-- snakes sometimes rub their faces against the sides of their enclosures, so you want a smooth surface.

-while reptiles love to climb, dig, and explore in the wild, the reality is that too many decorations can risk the animal being crushed or stuck under something, can host mold or bacteria, animals can ingest substrate, plants, decorations, or rocks and develop blockages-- even coir can choke an animal, and snakes are not graceful eaters. places for stray food items to hide or rot. if you have a cage like this, you certainly shouldn't be feeding the animal in there.

but what if my snake gets bored?

i would argue that as sedentary ambush predators, snakes likely don't feel boredom the way we do, but exercise is important for a healthy snake (many captives become obese from a lack of it). so what do you do if you've taken this post to heart and decided a plainer habitat is safer?

ENRICHMENT BABY

take your animal out and handle them. let them explore clean, snake proofed rooms for periods of time. you can make climbing trees, dig boxes, or play tunnels for the snake to use. if you have a secure patio and the climate is good, you can take them outside for supervised exploration. for large snakes, you can even set up a kiddy pool (pythons are skilled swimmers!)

this isn't to say every tub set up is good (plenty of people don't follow the guidelines, get an undersized one, or use inferior materials), and it isn't to say every tank is bad (most store bought ones will be, but modded and custom tanks can be very nice!). i'm just trying to debunk a myth that i feel comes from a combination of anthropomorphising snakes and bad examples set by youtube channels. tubs are the most widely recommended enclosure type in the hobby, and are an incredibly safe choice for beginners. please dont demonise without doing your research.

#i'm 100% gonna regret this post #snakes tw #i'm not tagging this as anything else or i'll never get peace

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killjoysfromyesterday · 4 years ago

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my first prompt for bad things happen bingo! excited for this!

@badthingshappenbingo

pneumonia - kobra kid

word count: 1,218

i’m truly sorry, i don’t know how to do a read more cut on mobile, i’d really appreciate if someone taught me : (

——————

it started as just dust allergies. a common cold. something like that, something that he didn't even pay attention to.

but before he had a chance to speak up and get himself sorted out, the coughing and the chills peaked and left him all hollow inside.

jet had mother-henned him into going to bed early, after the firepit left him sneezing and coughing like ghoul after a bad cigarette. he couldn't tell what time it was now; probably morning by the light peaking through the girl-proofed (see also: boarded up) windows in the bedroom. the heat of the day was creeping in, settling like a fog even indoors. it just added to his lethargy.

with a heaving sigh, he kicked the blankets from his gangly limbs and rolled over, grunting as his shirt stuck to him with cold sweat. his red jacket was draped across the edge of the mattress, probably set there by poison.

and speak of the devil, the door creaks open and the light pitter-patter of poison's footsteps fill the room. kobra tries his best to sit up for him, because maybe if he pretends not to be sick anymore they'll all stop mother-henning him and let him go to the crash track, but scooting up sends him into another coughing fit.

kobra's dizzy when his lungs finally decide to cooperate, and he slumps back against the nest of pillows poison had propped up for him.

“your fever isn't letting up." poison comments, hand cool against kobra's forehead. their eyebrows are stitched together like they always do when they're worried, and somehow it just makes kobra feel worse.

"have you been drinking water?" poison's voice cuts through his thoughts, and he shakes his head, which absolutely does not help the headache that's forming in the crown of his skull. his sinuses feel like they're going to explode and shit, he just wants to fall back asleep.

his eyes must've fallen closed because he didn't even notice that poison left the room until they reappear a few minutes later wielding a rag and a bottle of water. his throat's so dry it's hard to swallow, but the effort of sitting up to drink sounds fucking impossible.

poison unscrews the cap and sits down next to the mattress, helping kobra grip the bottle. their hand is beneath kobra's face as he drinks, catching the inevitable drops of water that roll down his chin.

"i know, kobes. just a couple more sips, okay? then you can go back to sleep, i promise. scout's honor." poison says when kobra starts to pull away, scrunching his face up at the taste. clean water's hard to get in the desert, and the treated shit always had that sour taste left over from the treatment formula. but to appease poison he takes a few more tentative sips and poison doesn't fight when he pulls away this time.

"where's everyone?" kobra asks as he lies back, half lowering-half flopping himself back onto the linens.

"jet’s with mads on his day off. the girl’s out with ghoul, they went to drop some stuff off to doc and pony. why?" poison says, pouring the remainder of the water bottle onto the rag.

"i promised her we'd go to the track today." kobra lets out a sigh of relief when poison sets the rag on his forehead, the cool cloth seeping into the heat of his fever. it doesn't last very long, but it feels better than before with the warmth of the desert baking into the room like a fucking sauna.

"it's alright. you can go some other time." poison smiles.

"i feel bad." kobra chews on the inside of cheek.

"why?"

"feel like i'm lettin' her down." he mumbles.

"kobes. you're not. she understands. she's old enough to get this stuff now." poison's words are reassuring but kobra's still not sure if girl would understand. they'd been planning this trip for days now.

"i guess so." he sighs, and tries to think of a way he could make it up to her later.

"we're home!" ghoul's voice rings through the diner, and a second later a weight slams into kobra's chest like a ton of bricks and sends him coughing again. the girl's hair rubs up against his chin as she settles herself on his chest. thank witch she's still snuggly, because with how independent she's getting, it hurts to see her need them less and less. it's all part of growin' up though, as jet would say.

"careful, girly. kobes isn't feelin' too shiny." poison warns. the girl edges off of him a little bit, her little face scrunching with concern.

kobra turns to ghoul. "how were doc and pony?"

"they're alright. you know doc, summer always makes his legs ache in that chair. pony's good." ghoul, much like the girl, attaches himself to his comfort person as soon as he gets home: he's slinking into poison's lap, nuzzling his face into poison's neck. poison wraps their arms around him, and ghoul makes a pleased nose that kobra's pretty sure is as close as a human gets to purring.

"i'm sorry we can't go today, baby." kobra sighs, and the girl climbs off of him a little bit to look at him.

"it's okay. you're sick." she claps her hands. "oh! and since jet isn't here to be doctor, i'll help you. first, let's assess your diagnostics."

"diagnosis." ghoul corrects, and poison nudges him. the girl just giggles.

"yeah! and then we'll work down to the root of your problem, and, oh, can we use those cool bandaids from the market?" she gives her best puppy eyes to poison, who relents (of course.)

"sure, but just one. no wasting." they say, and girl's rocketing out of the room, her swift footsteps disappearing in the direction of the kitchen.

"see? told you she wouldn't be upset. kid takes it in stride." poison says, resting their head on ghoul's shoulder. ghoul's already dozing off, and kobra's about to be right there with him, because all this exertion has him all dizzy and sleepy again.

the girl's back wielding a box of colorful bandaids, and she carefully plucks a yellow one and peels off the backing. she sticks it on kobra's forehead, sitting back to survey her work.

“there. don’t you feel so much better?” she asks.

“i feel so good, i feel like i could run all the way to tommy’s now.” kobra takes extra effort to make his voice as enthusiastic as possible, even if it’s scratchy and a bit unconvincing.

“woah! that far?” the girl asks, eyes wide.

“yeah, that far. but for now, i’m real tired.” kobra yawns.

“okay. but promise that we’ll race to tommy’s sometime? promise?” she

“pinky swear.” kobra says, locking his pinky with hers.

“alright girly, let’s let kobes get some shut-eye.” poison interrupts, tapping a now-sleeping ghoul who makes a noise of complaint as he rises from poison’s lap. the girl springs up from kobra’s bed, trotting over to where poison was opening the door.

“night-night kobra.” she whispers, following poison out. poison chuckles as they close the door behind them.

kobra falls back into his doze with a smile on his face and a bandaid on his forehead.

_________

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