#I'll pack my earplugs for that one

[saltygilmores]

Five days before his birthday, The Milo awakens from his hibernation, sporting reading glasses, a pepper beard and gently waved hair 😍

Did you know (according to IMDb, anyway?) he is next set to star in a movie about aging broadway stars called “Encore”? The world is not ready for a movie where Milo Ventimiglia might potentially sing or dance. However @ernestonlysayslovelythings and I may be ready to go to a movie theater to make fun of that.

Also, Land of Bad is coming to American Netflix soon to join the club of many other movies where Milo Ventimiglia meets a gruesome end.

[papergirllife]

Lee Jeno (M)

fratboy!Jeno x reader

Synopsis:

Jeno has a past that holds him back from what life could potentially offer him, and one of those, he thinks, is you.

WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, FEEL FREE TO BLOCK ME IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE

warnings: minor character death (in the past), themes of grief and moving on, tooth-rotting fluff, Jeno being down bad but he was sort of an ass for a bit, crying during sx, sp@nking, mc's a masoch1st (kinda), body worship, unprotected sx, 0verstimulation, oral sx.

The music resonates the walls of the dingy frat house as Jeno makes his way through hordes of people on the dance floor, trying his best to squeeze through drunk college students to get to the kitchen, he's too goddamn sober to handle this amount of people as a self proclaimed, he checked his MBTI, obviously, introvert.

“Jeno! Finally made your way down from your room! Finally done studying?” Chenle asks on the top of his voice, clearly a little more than just tipsy, seeing how Jisung's the one making drinks right now, which the latter offers, but Jeno declines, he wants some alcohol to get him going, not blackout drunk, he still needs to get to his quiz in the afternoon tomorrow.

“I don't have much choice, not even the earplugs work against Johnny hyung’s speakers,” Jeno says with a sigh, looking out at the living area, this is going to be a long night, he thinks to himself.

“I told you to get the ones from that brand, they're only slightly pricier, you know,” Chenle chides, the irony, coming from the international student, but he knows his friend means well.

“They're out of my budget, it's fine, I started earlier just to get it done before this party anyways, I'll see you guys later, if you're not passed out by the pool that is,” Jeno jokes as he pours himself a mixture of whiskey and coke.

“Very funny, Lee, even if Mark leaves me out there in the cold, I know Jisung would save me, right bro?!”

Jeno doesn't hear what Jisung has to say, merely chuckling to himself as he makes his way through the crowd once more.

The worn out couch sinks as Jeno takes his seat, he watches as Jaemin talks about something animatedly with bombastic gestures and his tone pitched higher, he's going to be the perfect kindergarten teacher after he graduates being an education major and all, then there's Shotaro, watching wide eyed, engrossed in whatever tale Jaemin is telling, he's going to miss this, Jeno notes to himself, sighing at the fact that his sophomore year has begun and in a year's time he's going to say goodbye to all of this.

“Renjun said you'd be studying, didn't expect to see you tonight,” you say as you take the empty spot next to Jeno, Renjun on your side, you've always been his beloved little sister, Renjun is tiny, but for you? He'd pack a punch any time, his last victim was a 6 feet guy who was too handsy for his liking and dude ended up with a broken nose, he broke a finger too, but no one mentions that unless they want to end up in the same fatal tragedy.

“Finished studying, so I thought I'd come down here and join the rest of you,” and maybe because he wanted to see you too, not that he'd ever admit that, to himself or others, he has no right to delve into these emotions, it wouldn't be fair to you or her.

“Wow Jeno, no need to brag about your smarts like that, all of us know you're the top of the department,” you joke with a nudge of your shoulder, and with that slight movement, your thin cardigan slips down your smooth shoulder, revealing the strap of your tank top.

“Says the one that doesn't need to study and still passes,” Jeno retorts as he lets his eyes linger for a bit, before he decides to finally scoop up the collar section of your cardigan, covering your shoulder once again, and from the corner of his eye, he sees Renjun watching him.

“That's because I only aim to pass, unlike mister high achiever here, and I'm not cold, don't worry,” you say, but regardless, your body naturally inches closer to his, his warmth seeping through his bomber jacket has you hooked.

“Enough about me, what about you? What type of content are you shooting next?” Jeno asks, you're an almost full time influencer, the only reason you're still in college is because you want to get the degree as plan b, and Jeno, one of the few with a car, secondhand from his sister, always offers to drive you and sits through shootings with you, whether it be a trip to Olive Young or the newest cafe on the block.

“Probably gonna try doing those ‘a day in my life as a college student’ vlogs cuz some of my followers have been asking, but I'm not sure, it's a lot of work to film, might just end up going through my PR boxes instead or a review of this lip balm I've been looking for an excuse of getting,” you joke, knowing you, Jeno knows you're gonna get it and review it regardless, unless it's sold out, then he'd be one of the firsts to hear about your complaints.

“I could hold the camera if you want to,” Jeno offers, he always does, and you knew he would, it's why you asked in the first place.

“Thank you, my sweet assistant, knew I could always count on you,” you say before booping Jeno’s scrunched up nose, he always does that when you call him that, very textbook Taurus of him.

“Hey Jeno! Wanna play beer pong with us?” a girl comes up to him over the back of the sofa, tapping on his shoulder, probably his coursemate or something.

“Sure, I'll see you around, let me know when you wanna film, I'll see when I'm free,” Jeno says before giving you a little wave, following the girl to the beer pong area, and everyone knows she's going to end up inviting her to his bed, whether you like it or not.

“Since I'm not drinking tonight and I'm not a smoker, I'm craving Shin noodles, anyone want some?” you ask as you smooth down your skirt, you're gonna borrow your brother's apron, god knows you're one clumsy bitch and you love this mini skirt you searched high and low for, the things you do for a shushu tong dupe.

“Did someone say Shin noodles? I'm down,” is the first thing Mark says when he finally joins your friends’ little section, sex hair and a rumpled shirt triggering a few snickers.

“Sure, Markie, you should probably tidy your hair though,” you say before ruffling it up further, quickly making your way to the kitchen after, distantly, you hear Jaemin’s laughter ringing out even with the loud music playing still.

When you’re cooking the noodles, someone walks in, out of the corner of your eye, you see a familiar mane of orange hair.

“Hi Yang Yang, want noodles?” you could probably look for another pot if he wants some, you're sure Renjun stocked up some extra pots here, and even if he didn't, you're sure Taeyong did.

“I'd be down for your noods, if you know what I mean,” he answers coyly, his hand resting at your waist as he attaches himself to your side, watching you separate the noodles to cook them faster.

“Very funny, I'm on day 6 still, so thanks but no thanks, bud,” you reply, patting him on the hand at your side before you turn off the heat.

“Damn, talk about bad timing, no wonder you're craving for noodles, I'll just have a bit of yours, who's sharing with us? I'll go out and call them in, you can take the bowls out and stuff ” Yang Yang offers.

“Mark, he's at the sitting area,” you say before you feel Yang Yang leave your side, you carefully move the pot before fetching the bowls and utensils, grabbing the big thongs and ladle, you quickly get yourself a small portion, almost moaning at the familiar spiciness that ignites your taste buds in the best way possible.

“Wow, thanks bro,” Mark says, eyes lighting up at the sight of food, quickly fetching his own portion.

The two boys start talking about the latest NBA match while you eat in peace, you love eating while chatting up with friends, but you cherish having one on one moments savouring the food you're eating, Jeno calls you weird for that, but maybe that's because he keeps having that dry chicken breast for meals.

“Oh, if you guys want to fuck, you need to hurry up cuz Renjun just left with this girl not too long ago, and you know how he is,” Mark informs,

Renjun’s very particular about sleeping conditions with his one night stands, one time he was willing to pay extra for hailing a cab at 2am because he was sick of the artificial vanilla scent of this girl's diffuser.

“Not tonight, crimson rain's still in season,” you joke before getting more noodles into your bowl, meanwhile Yang Yang's stopped eating, he was just craving for a little taste.

“Oop, that explains the noodles, too bad for you dude, maybe Yuta hyung would have more luck,” Mark jokes, he always liked joking about how you got a roster of boys lining up at your doorstep, when in reality you're always bouncing between Yuta and Yang Yang.

“He got her last time, I gotta make my move faster this time,” Yang Yang says with a groan, putting down his chopsticks, having had enough of his fill.

“l'll let you know when I'm done, how about that, you whiny baby,” you tease, pulling his ear playfully.

Yang Yang cheers from his seat before getting up to wash his bowl.

“See you when the sky's sunny, baby, and Mark, basketball tomorrow afternoon, right?” Yang Yang bids the two of you goodbye, probably off to find another girl or game with Hendery.

“He's not bad, you know, simple minded dude,” Mark suddenly suggests, scooping more noodles then soup into your bowl before you put your hand up to stop him, that's enough noodles for tonight.

“He's alright, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now,” both of you know you're lying through your teeth, but it's the answer that won't stir anything up, you enjoy the dynamic you share with the boys, you're not gonna risk it, not that your feelings would ever be reciprocated.

“What about Yuta then? Is he more your type than Yang Yang?” Mark asks, always looking out for your heart, more than you ever did for yourself at least, which is almost the same for all your friends.

“Maybe, but no, he's not looking for a relationship either,” you explain, this time, not a white lie.

“Yuta thinks you're cool, I'm sure he'd be down to try if you showed interest,” Mark tries his best to convince you.

“I don't think I can watch idly if he looks at a girl with some neon-coloured box dye hair a little longer, I'd be seething, I need someone who's 100% down bad,” you say, trying to deflect the topic at hand.

“Alright, alright, I'll let you be, I'll get back to you when I think of someone new,” Mark says, not giving up on playing matchmaker.

“Have fun playing cupid with that terrible aim, Markie,” you tease before saying goodnight to him, planning on spending the rest of the night alone rewatching this k drama you love.

You were about to text Yeri, your roommate and bestie who had came with you, but upon opening your chat room with her, you realise she has once again ditched you for a boy she found. Oh well, guess you're just gonna crash in your brother's room, Renjun’s room is slightly bigger than most of the rooms in the house because you had once stayed here for a brief period of time when you were in between rentals, so there's space to fit in one more super single in his room, albeit a slightly tight fit, but at least you get to steal your brother's skincare for the night.

On your way to Renjun’s room, you bumped into Yang Yang once more in the hallway.

“Hey! Wanna game with us for a bit? It's just me and Hendery, we're playing COD,” he offers with that bright smile of his which strangely enough, reminds you of Lightning Mcqueen from the Cars cartoon.

“I don't know, Yang, I kinda suck at it,” you would love to have a switch from mobile to Xbox, but not at the expense of potentially ruining someone's game night.

“Come on, we're chill, Hendery dies all the time anyways,” Yang Yang insists, a hand on your back, steering you to his shared room, “but don't tell Hendery I said that,” he whispers by your ear before Hendery turns around to greet you.

“Yo! Nice of you to join us, Ten ditched us for the night so it's nice to have three players again,” Hendery exclaims, enthusiastically passing you the remote.

“Why aren't you guys partying like the rest of the frat?” you ask while picking a character.

“Parties are here every week, this one's kinda boring so might as well game the night away,” Hendery explains before noting how you're an urban tracker girlie.

And after two matches with the boys, you have to agree with the sentiment.

Jeno throws on a simple sweater before leaving his room to go get some water for himself and the girl on his bed, but something catches his eye from the other end of the hallway, it's you and Yang Yang, cosying up outside his room, Jeno’s fist clenched up when he sees you following into his room, he knows you sleep around casually, but he rarely ever catches sight of it, and it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

The party is finally starting to phase out, most of the partygoers are either passed out on the couch, or the unfortunate ones, by the pool or at the lawn. The frat members themselves are mostly gone, either retreated into their own respective rooms or have gone back with someone, so Jeno hadn't expected himself to bump into anyone when he came in to fetch two bottles of water.

“Why do you look like you want to squeeze the life out of those bottles, dude? Was tonight's lay not good enough for you or something?” Haechan asks, car keys dangling from his hand, he must've come in through the backdoor instead of the front, he once had someone puke on his Nike shoes so he isn't taking any chances anymore.

“Nothing, go to sleep,” Jeno deflects, god knows he doesn't need Haechan nosing into his business, which he has a reputation of doing so.

“When you're this pissed off it's usually either you fucked up a test or… is it her?” Haechan didn't even need to emphasise on who's the her when Jeno threatens to throw his half full bottle at him before he was stopped by Jaemin who had come in to dispose of some of the trash he had cleaned up from the living area.

“Jaemin ah, Jeno’s bullying me again!” Haechan whines moving to hide behind Jaemin’s wide frame.

“Stop provoking him and you'd be fine, now go, you're lucky I'm here to take the trash out,” Jaemin says before he ushers his bratty friend out of their kitchen.

“As much as you don't want to hear this, Haechan does have a point,” Jaemin says as he sorts the trash into different recycle bins, “she's not going to be single forever, and I know you love Eunbi, but it's been years, she wouldn't want to see you like this,” Jaemin explains with his most motherly tone that he dishes out unconsciously at times.

Eunbi was Jaemin’s cousin sister and Jeno’s girlfriend from 15 to 17, she passed away suddenly due to a drunk driving accident, and from that day onwards, Jeno has never really been the same again, he swore off the possibility of loving someone again, until you came into his life, his restraint wavering bit by bit as you take up his heart, piece by piece.

Jeno’s hand rises to his chest to feel the familiar butterfly charm hanging on his necklace, Nabi, he used to call her, because she used to love butterflies and also because they rhyme with her name, this necklace is Jeno’s only significant remembrance of her, other than their shared memories.

“I don't have any feelings for anyone, so it doesn't matter,” Jeno brushes off the topic with ease, he's had a lot of practice, and quickly leaves the kitchen.

With a defeated sigh, Jaemin watches his best friend go, hoping that one day soon, he'd be able to finally move on from Eunbi.

Another week passes and the weekend rolls around quicker than expected, Yuta was in the kitchen pouring himself a drink, spiked punch of some sort that Taeyong whipped up, some people got too drunk for his liking last week, so now he’s doing it himself before Chenle or Jisung gets the chance to.

“Oh, Yuta-ah, can you go and play with the kids? You know how truth and dare gets, and I don’t trust Johnny to be responsible, he’s always been such an instigator,” Taeyong says with a shake of his head, as he measures the vodka down to the tiniest drop.

“And you think I’d be the perfect candidate to keep an eye on them?” Yuta asks in disbelief.

“I trust that you’d do as I say for once, Yuta, the others are all still studying for their finals, just this once?” Taeyong asks, and how could Yuta say no when his best friend pulls out the big boba eyes.

Yuta sighs when he sees the sight of Jisung putting a whole dollop of wasabi in his mouth, but he can’t help but laugh when the youngest rushes to the bathroom before he inserts himself in the circle in between you and Mark.

“You’re playing?” Shotaro asks, already perking up at the idea of his big giving away bits and pieces of himself, Yuta isn’t exactly an open book, so he's excited to learn more about him.

“Yup, Taeyong told me to keep an eye on you scoundrels,” Yuta says before he catches Johnny’s eyes, the latter barking out a laugh, Yuta also notes how Jeno was seated next to his friend, he must be here because you’re here, maybe Yuta won’t keep his promise after all.

Things go by uneventfully other than some truths being spilled and Jaemin being told to twerk in the middle of the circle, which he was more than happy to do, however, when he was done his eyes landed on you, and because you’ve been saying truth for a few turns now, you switch it up by saying dare, and honestly, he knows all the truths because all these boys ask are things in the bedroom, taking advantage of the fact that Renjun is absent tonight, so things weren’t all that interesting, but now, Yuta’s interest is piqued.

“I dare you to make out with the hottest person playing,” Xiao Jun suggests, which garnered some groans, Yuta snickers next to you, Yang Yang isn’t here, so things are very much predictable.

You smooth down your skirt before you circle the men around you, eyes lingering on Jeno for a bit too long, the ones that know watch intently, but when you stop in front of Johnny, gasps ring out around the circle, cheers started erupting when squat in front of Johnny, the surprise on his face was evident, cute even if you’re honest, you’re glad you chose to be chaotic tonight, the panic in his eyes had you giggling, breath hitched when you lean in place a chaste peck on his cheek, when you lean away, and did a quick turn back to facing Yuta, Johnny barks out a laugh, while the rest of them back to groaning, you catch a few of them saying that they knew you were just playing them.

Yuta extends his arms, a knowing smile on his face. His eyes take in your plump lips coated in his favourite cherry lip gloss.

“Someone’s been stirring trouble, haven’t you?” Yuta says before he feels your hands tangled in long hair, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jeno glaring at him, Jaemin watching nervously where he’s seated.

“I’m always down for trouble when it’s you,” you retorted before you seal your lips with his, climbing into his lap, the familiar bulge of his belt buckle digging into your pelvic and the feeling of of his hands enveloping your thighs sends a shiver up your back, and you couldn’t help yourself, grinding into his crotch, the material of your skirt covering most of your movements, but Yuta could feel everything, smiling against your lips, before he pulls away from you, he could feel his cock twitching at the sight of your dazed eyes and swollen lips.

“Show’s over, I’m taking this one up,” Yuta announces, carrying you away from the shameless group of frat boys that were watching, it’s not their first time, but their curiosity never satiates.

“Damn it, now I need to be the chaperone,” Johnny says begrudgingly.

Jaemin’s silent as he watches his best friend fume in his spot, with a sigh, he cracks a bottle of soju he placed next to him before the game started, passing it to Jeno, the latter taking a huge swig, not long after, Jeno opts out of the game to look for a distraction for the night.

Your eyes flutter when you wake, the sun shining from Yuta’s opened blinds, his body warm under yours, his arm tossed over your waist which you remove to go wash up in his ensuite bathroom, the good thing about sleeping over at Yuta’s.

When you’re done, Yuta’s still sleeping away, you close his blinds for him, he’d probably want to sleep longer, he finished his finals not too long ago, he should be getting more rest.

So you put on your skirt from last night and stealing a sweater from his closet before you padded down to the kitchen, opening the fridge to fetch some ingredients for a basic omelette, spinach and eggs.

“There's still some leftover cranberry juice from last night,” Jeno says, startling you from stirring the omelette in your pan.

“Oh, nice, could you pour me a glass?” you ask, “if you want an omelette then you can fetch me more eggs and spinach, I'll make it,” you add on.

“Thank you,” Jeno says, handing you the ingredients after washing and chopping the spinach.

Soon after, the two of you are sat across each other on the island, joking about last night’s events, from the part where Haechan was dared to take off his shirt and go out for a quick run in the cold till the part where Jaemin had twerked in the circle and had accidentally shoved his ass at a very confused Jaehyun who had just finished a round of beer pong and wanted to see what was happening in the truth or dare circle, conversation was going smoothly and lighthearted until it wasn’t, by then the two of you have finished eating and Jeno’s washing the dishes.

“So you and Yuta…” Jeno trails off, his gaze absent, his fingers holding the fork rather tightly, knuckles white from the restricted blood flow.

“It’s nothing serious,” you brush off absently, you’re not lying, what you and Yuta have is strictly no strings attached, but if the lines were more blurred…you wouldn’t have minded if Jeno hadn’t holed up a place in your heart.

Jeno nods, unconvinced, or maybe he’s just blinded by jealous rage.

“Jeno?” your voice yanks Jeno away from the many images of you and Yuta holding hands and kissing, a scene cruller than what he had witnessed last night, but he bites his tongue from saying anything, not when he still has Eunbi’s necklace hanging on his neck, it wouldn’t be fair to any of you if he acts on his urges.

“Yeah?” Jeno grunts out, he didn’t mean to sound mean, but he can’t help it, just the thought of you and Yuta being something more just pisses him off, he isn’t even worried about Yang Yang, he knows you go to him for pure casual fun, you can never settle with a guy like that, he could tell you crave someone who has a natural leading aura, and that’s why he’s so down bad, the way your eyes light up when he helps you with something as simple as carrying your bag or ordering your food, every time he does something for you, he could feel his heartstrings tugging painfully.

“Jeno, if you have something to say, then say it,” you say, you don’t know why you’re feeling so confrontational today, but it’s been two years of running in circles around Jeno, and honestly, you’re tired, and maybe this would send your friend group into a catharsis, but you can’t keep tiptoeing your feelings around Jeno anymore, not when he obviously knows how you feel.

Jeno shuts the tap off before turning to face you, and something breaks inside him when he sees the conflicted look swimming in your pupils, and at that moment, he wants to wipe it away, and so he makes the mistake of pulling you close by the waist, sealing his lips with yours, and Jeno hasn’t felt this alive since a long time, he could feel all the nerves on his lips igniting like a dying flame miraculously being sparked till they’re a blazing wildfire, and the way his hands wrap around your waist, the warmth of your body rekindles a physical craving he’s never felt before with anyone else he used as a distraction of the loss of Eunbi. Eunbi, no-

Your heart shatters when Jeno pushes you away, searching his eyes for an explanation, but Jeno has his eyes closed, he looks too calm, taking a deep breath as if that kiss was merely a simple mistake, you’ve seen him act more emotional when he doesn’t receive his desired grade for a paper, are you nothing to him?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Jeno mutters through gritted teeth, eyes avoiding yours at all cost.

“Is that it? That’s all you have to say to me, Jeno? That our kiss was merely a mistake? Don’t tell me what you feel all this time is also some sort of fucking misjudgement, Jeno!” you lash out, venom in your tone as you throw out punches on his sturdy chest, and what made you angrier was that he let you hurt him, like he doesn’t even bother defending or protecting himself from your lethal accusation, you can’t even call him a coward, a coward wouldn't stand there and let you do as you please.

Fortunately for Jeno, Jaemin comes to his rescue, detaching your agitated figure away from his friend, trying his best to calm you down with sweet nothings, that you’re better off, that Jeno’s being an idiot, but the damage has been dealt, there’s nothing that can make you feel better, but you guess you expected this, you had too much faith in Jeno.

“I’m so disappointed in you, Jeno,” you say before you take your leave, casting one more disappointed look at Jeno, and at that moment, the man that you’ve always thought looked so broad in your eyes now looks like the smallest man who’s ever lived.

Jaemin sighs when he no longer sees you within sight, Jeno heaves out a shudder of breath, he could tell his friend was trying his best to hold himself up in front of you, how quintessential of Jeno, never letting anyone into the depths of his mind.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Jeno,” Jaemin mutters as he checks for bruises under Jeno’s shirt, but Jeno brushes his hand away, rolling his sweater back down, even if you did bruise him, he deserved it for what he keeps putting you through, “Jeno, Eunbi wouldn’t have want to see you this way, she would’ve wanted to see you happy, not punishing yourself like this, she would’ve wanted you to move on, Jeno, you think she’d like seeing you wallowing in self loathing?” Jaemin says in a huff, he’s tried spelling this out in a kinder way to his best friend, but it doesn’t seem to get through that thick skull of his.

Jeno doesn’t answer, he just dodges his friend’s attempts of wanting to talk more, locking himself inside his room, wishing that the remorse, guilt, and heartbreak would just swallow him up. He hates himself for betraying Eunbi, even if it was just a mere kiss, contemplating on what Jaemin had said, could he really move on without feeling guilty as sin?

The cold wind prickles Jeno’s skin, his worn out padding not doing much to block the harshest of the weather, cursing to himself as he climbs down the stairs, not a single person in sight at this period and this hour, and then he sees it, the familiar tombstone, he sighs in relief as he takes in the sight of Eunbi’s tiny photo on the slab.

Fishing out a small cloth from his jean pocket, he wipes the photo of Eunbi before he wipes away the dust atop the tombstone and the dust on the slab of stone where he sits whenever he visits.

“I’ve missed you,” Jeno says as he places down a bouquet of roses, Eunbi loves roses, he calls it cliche, she says it’s because she loves how roses are one of the flowers that attract butterflies the most.

“I used to think I would get the opportunity to grow old with you, a house, a car, and maybe two kids, the cliche, but,” Jeno stops himself, swallowing the lump down his throat before he continues, “I guess those weren't in the cards for us in this lifetime,” Jeno says before exhaling a long sigh, “but sometimes I do think, would we have really gone on our entire lives? Would we have broken up along the road? Those 2 years of loving you, and spending my whole childhood with you by my side were beautiful, and every single day without you by my side was a living hell, but when I thought nothing could really bring me back to life, I met someone, and I feel so fucking guilty towards you, and I don't know if I'm supposed to feel what I'm feeling for her, I love you, and I always will, but I can't deny what I'm feeling for her either, so now I'm here, Eunbi-ah, please tell me what should I do, if you told me to wait till my dying days to reunite with you, I will, please just give me a sign,” Jeno pleads hopelessly, a hand caressing the tiny photo of Eunbi.

Just then, a tiny flutter of wings catches his eye, and a butterfly lands on the bouquet of roses in front of him.

‘Is this the sign I’m asking for?’ Jeno asks himself, but when he tries to sit closer for a clearer look, the butterfly flies away with a quick flutter of its wings, the bright yellow contrasting the cloudy sky.

“Are you telling me to move on too, Eunbi-ah?” Jeno says with a long sigh, next life, maybe things would be different then.

After watching the sunset with Eunbi, Jeno drove home and immediately stormed into Jaemin's room, his friend was busy watching cat videos when he interrupted him, not a surprising thing for him to do honestly.

“What’s up?” Jaemin asks, swivelling his gaming chair to face his friend who had made himself comfortable on his bed.

“I need advice,” Jeno said, which earned him one of his friend’s classic menace smiles which makes him look like the Grinch.

You have no plans today, you had just finished having pizza with Yeri, your roommate slash bestie announcing that you needed a self care day after the shit storm a certain someone put you through.

Suddenly, your doorbell rings, Yeri’s in the bathroom, so you get the door, assuming that she ordered dessert in advance without telling you, but to your shock, it was Jeno, and in his hands are supermarket flowers that he used to joke were overpriced for its minimal packaging.

“I’m sorry for everything, I was a coward and an emotionally constipated asshole, and I know I don’t deserve a second a chance, but if you’d give me the chance, I promise I’ll try my best not to fuck up, and if I do, I’ll promise I’ll make it up to you,” Jeno says, pleading his case with you, everyone often jokes about how Jeno looks like a samoyed, but right now, he looks like a puppy with the way his eyes are trained on you, analysing your every movement and flicker of expression, awaiting your verdict.

“You’re not an asshole for taking your time to mourn and move on from Eunbi, but Jeno, are you sure you’re ready to jump into a relationship? I know you still miss her dearly, and it was mean of me to ask so much from you, you don’t have to be with me if you’re doing this out of guilt, Jeno, I don’t want your pity,” you explain, you don’t want to see the sight of his guilty eyes whenever you’re with him, it would crush your soul to bits, to never have his heart entirely.

“No, I’m serious, I thought things through and realised that I can miss her and love the moments I had with her and still move on to the next chapter of my life, I used to think to love her means I shouldn’t allow anyone in my heart, but Jaemin’s right, she wouldn’t have wanted to see me like this, and I know you wouldn’t want to see me like this either, I want to give us a chance, I’m sorry I came to my senses so late, I hope it’s not too late,” Jeno says, his heart aches when he sees rivulets of tears stream down your face, he places the flowers on the bench next to him before he extends his arms to you, and he sighs in content when he feels your arms around him, your face buried in his chest, he reaches a hand up to pat your head, comforting you.

“Well, I just got a text from Joy that she wants to grab drinks, so I’m gonna head out, you two talk things out on your own, call me if you need anything,” Yeri says before she takes her leave, wanting to give the two of you privacy.

Jeno directs the two of you to the living room, plopping the two of your conjoined bodies onto the couch.

“Hey… don’t cry for me, I’m not worth it,” Jeno says, his hands wiping away your tears with the back of his hand. You choked up a laugh through your tears, swaying your head sideways.

“It’s not that, I’m just, I already accepted the idea of not having you, and now that you’re here… I’m just, surprised– but glad,” you confessed, god, you hate crying for a man, but at least the fool in this fable gets her happy ending after all.

“I’m glad too, sweetheart. I wouldn’t have been mad in the slightest if you said no, but thank you, thank you for giving me this chance,” Jeno says as he wraps you up in his arms, and he feels you sink into hold, and that’s how the two of you fall asleep on your bed that night.

‘Come earlier, I have a surprise for you ;)’

You smile to yourself when you see the text from Jeno, wondering if he got you the new grapes that are in season or something. When you got there a few hours earlier, the house was relatively empty, partygoers aren't here yet and only a few freshmen were setting up the place for the frat party. You let yourself in Jeno’s room, surprised to see that it’s empty, but soon you hear light footsteps pad into the room before your eyes are being covered by a familiar pair of hands.

“What grand surprise do you have for me, Jeno?” you ask, turning around, his hands drop from your face, but you keep your eyes closed, not wanting to spoil the surprise on his behalf.

“Wait, one sec, okay, now you can open your eyes,” Jeno says excitedly.

You peered your eyes open and a gasp left your lips.

“Oh my god, it’s blue!” you say, not believing your eyes, your hands reach out to touch his hair, not fried from the bleach dye, thankfully.

“Wanted to have something fresh to mark the start of our relationship, and seeing my hair on those filters you put on me gave me the idea of dyeing my hair,” Jeno explains, “do you like it?” he tapers off, a bit insecure because you look like you love it, but you haven’t said anything to confirm it yet.

“I love it,” you say as you turn his head from side to side to get a better look at the entire haircut with a giant smile on your face.

“Let me take a quick shower and get dressed then we can head down,” Jeno says with a quick peck before he retrieves his things and leave for the bathroom, leaving you to your devices, or moreso Jeno’s devices, you love watching concert videos on his screen, that expensive hunk of equipment is clearer than your vision.

However, halfway through watching old concert videos, you took notice of his drawer not being closed all the way, out of curiosity, you open it to see what it stores, and to your shock, a jewellery box is the first thing you see, the box design tells you that it isn’t anywhere near brand new.

Maybe you shouldn’t be snooping around, but you couldn’t help yourself, Jeno never gets mad at you, he even tells you his phone password, he has nothing to hide, and so you pry the box open with gentle hands.

The glint of the perfectly preserved crystals caught your eye, then you recognise the shape of the pendant, butterfly, Jeno used to wear this ever since Eunbi passed, why isn’t he wearing it anymore? Did he think you’d mind that he did? That wasn’t the impression you wanted to give off, there’s no point being jealous of someone who’s no longer here, that’s just absurd.

“Oh, you found her old necklace,” Jeno notes with no malice in his voice despite the fact that you feel yourself jumping slightly at the sound of his voice.

“I, I saw your drawer wasn’t closed all the way and just wanted to check it out, sorry,” you apologised, but Jeno quickly brushes off your apology with a reassuring smile, “why aren’t you wearing it anymore? It’s not like I’d get jealous,” you say, scared that the reason he felt like he was obliged to stop wearing it was because of your relationship.

“I know you won’t get jealous, and I didn’t take it off like right after you said yes, I just thought it was time a few days ago, to put some things to rest, I’ll look back on these things from time to time, but I think it’s time to put some distance for me to move forward,” Jeno explains as his hands are laid on your shoulders, the weight and the brush of his thumbs comforting you.

“I’m just worried you’re rushing things for me,” you reason.

“I’m not, so don’t worry,” Jeno assures once again, “how about we go down now?” Jeno suggests after hearing the music starting from below, you agree instantly, maybe you’re just too stressed about everything, a drink sounds amazing now.

“Look who just made their long awaited debut,” Jaemin said at the sight of the two of you making way to the usual spot your friend group usually sits at.

Jeno tenses up when Renjun meets his eyes, his best friend had given him a long talk when he had heard from you that Jeno finally came around, needless to say, Jeno would never want to get on his best friend’s bad side, he’s sure he would manage to beat him up despite being much shorter than him.

Distantly, Jeno could hear you tell Jaemin to shut up before there’s too much attention placed on you and Jeno, your skin is thick, but you know Jeno doesn’t like too much attention on him, hence with a little more teasing, your friends switch topics, and just like that things are back to normal, a bit too normal for your liking, because soon, a girl makes her way to Jeno to ask for a dance, but your boyfriend quickly declines and explains that he won’t be casually hooking up with anyone anymore.

Even though you were silent the entire interaction, Jeno could see the jealousy in your eyes and the way you immediately downed a shot of soju.

“Someone’s jealous?” Jeno asks, clearly amused by the sight in front of him, pulling you closer into his embrace, he doesn't want anyone eavesdropping on a conversation where you could possibly feel vulnerable.

“Nope, not at all,” you say briskly, clearly overcompensating, dodging his kiss, Jeno laughing at your antics.

“Okay, whatever you say,” Jeno says, letting you be.

Although unfortunately for Jeno, things get a twist of events when he sees Yang Yang waving to you from afar with a smile too friendly for his liking when the two of you were swaying to the beat on the dance floor, and you quickly see your samoyed of a boyfriend turn into a doberman right in front of your eyes, gone was the puppy eyes that are quickly replaced by the obvious glare in his eyes.

“Looks like someone's jealous,” you tease, playing with the freshly cut ends of his hair at his nape.

“Let's head up, party sucks today,” Jeno says, pulling you by your hand, leading you upstairs to his room, quick on his feet but not fast to the point where you can’t keep up in your heels.

When the door shuts behind you, Jeno quickly kicks off his own shoes before he squsts down to slip off your heels for you, then immediately he tosses you over his shoulder as if you weigh as much as a feather, tossing you on his bed with a bounce before he climbs on the bed himself, his moves slow and calculative as if he was predator stalking its prey, behind his eyes, you can see the gears behind moving as he thinks of what to do with you, but when you reach up to touch his cheek, you see his eyes softening around the edges, the control you have over him sends a shudder down your spine, Jeno smiles at that realisation when he comes to the conclusion that if you asked, he’d relinquish all control over his life to you if you asked, he’s willing to give you all of him at your request, now that he knows life is fragile not to love wholeheartedly, but he knows what you want, and for now, at this moment, you want Jeno to guide you, but what he asks you catches you off guard.

“What’s your average kill in a match on codm?” he asks as he hovers over you, arms caging your body.

“What? I don’t know, like 15 if you’re asking about multiplayer,” you answer in a tone of disbelief.

Jeno has that familiar cunning mirth on his face when he reaches for your phone that you had previously placed on his nightstand so as to not get in the way when things get heated.

“You think you can reach your average while I eat you out?” Jeno asks as he passes you your phone.

You feel heat crawl up your face when you register his words, can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous he sounds, but you’ll indulge him.

“I’ll try my best, just for you,” you agree, but you know there’s more to his proposition.

“Before you say yes, there’s a catch, if you don’t get 15 kills, for every kill you lack is one spank,” Jeno says with a quirked brow, his eyes challenging you.

You don’t consider yourself competitive, but when it comes to a game you know you’re good at, it ignites the dormant competitiveness in you that you swear you outgrew as a teenager.

“Deal,” you agree, you’re gonna win either way, if you fail awfully at the game, you still get to get your back blown out regardless, and in Jeno’s words, you've always been a masochist, maybe just a little bit. There must be some truth to it since you were sleeping with Yuta of all people.

“Let me know when you start,” Jeno says as you open the app, telling him when the countdown begins, and quickly he takes off your skirt and panties to toss it to the side of his bed.

Jeno starts off slow, his index finger tracing your slit, starting from the bottom, it piques your interest, but it doesn’t take away your focus entirely, until his fingertip hits the bundle of your nerves, your breath hitches, but you still manage to get your third kill of the game.

You look so hot like this, all concentrated on your phone screen, not so different from how you usually game, other than the fact that you now have your bottom lip between your teeth to ground yourself, Jeno hears another three more kills when he decides to go in for the actual kill, leaning down to capture your clit between his lips, hollowing his lips as his fingers enters you, so fucking wet, god, Jeno, groans to himself, he can’t wait to be inside you, your cursing distracts Jeno from his train of filthy thoughts.

“Died?” Jeno asks before he dives back to his feast between your legs, he distantly hears you cursing at a sniper before he feels your legs twitching when he finally finds your sensitive spot, fingers curling upward, knowing that you usually cave in and ask him to fuck you at this point when you’re having regular foreplay.

You curse silently when you realise you lost count of how many kills you managed to secure, you haven’t gotten a single headshot in this match, and when the score limit reaches its end, you can feel the knot in your abdomen threatening to snap, and so you quickly toss your phone aside to grind back on Jeno’s face, his nose has always been such a good placeholder for your clit to hump on, and Jeno loves it, loves how debauched you are, he could just watch you use him to chase your orgasm all night if he wanted to, and when you finally reach your high, a whine of Jeno’s name reaches his ears as he feels your sexy legs wrap around his head and your juices burst in his mouth and the excess dripping down his forearm.

When you finally come back to your senses after ascending to heaven, you check your score on your screen, you breathe a sigh of relief, 11 kills, you proudly show Jeno your score.

“So four spanks, you want to sit through your punishment or would you prefer if I do it in between rearranging your guts?” Jeno offers, since you did so well for him.

You ponder over the suggestion, but the thought of needing to wait longer to get filled has you choosing the latter.

“I think I’d like to be surprised today,” you say before you strip off the rest of your clothing, Jeno’s eyes following every movement you make, licking his lips when he sees the slight jiggle of your tits as you move about, that is until you settle on all four, presenting yourself to him, and a beast claws at Jeno’s belly for a need to just take you.

It’s like you read his mind, because you tell him to just put it in, that you’re loose enough from the foreplay, you say as you spread your cheeks for him, the sight of your wet pussy has him losing all control, who is he to deny you when you’re presented so prettily for him like this? He’s no god, any man would crack under your ministrations.

So he doesn’t hold back, grasping his cock in one hand while he parts your folds with the other, cursing when he finally slips in your warm and wet hole, slowly sliding in till the hilt, he loves this process, loves the way you shudder when you feel him intrude your walls inch by inch, your lips parted as your head rests on his pillow.

When you’ve adjusted to his size, you whimper out a singular word, move, before you feel your whole world fizzle away as pleasure clouds your head at the first thrust, always rough when you need him to be, rough and fast, that’s Jeno’s preferred pace, quickly locating your sensitive spot with the thick tip of his cock that has you screaming into his pillow, but no matter how hard you try to muffle your voice, the headboard banging against the walls is dead giveaway of how you’re having your back broken by Jeno, but you throw all caution to the wind if it means you get feel the feeling of such ecstasy flowing through your whole body, you swear every time he drills his cock inside you, the more pleasure you feel, and the dumber you get, when all thoughts of sanity get replaced by the primal need to chase your high, your train of thoughts, or lack thereof since all you were thinking were the word ‘cock’ on repeat, gets broken by a harsh smack on your butt, it came out of nowhere, catching you off guard, and it shows by how your walls clench tightly on Jeno’s dick, your release coating his length.

“Fuck, you’re such a fucking pain slut, aren’t you? One smack has you cumming on my dick like some virgin,” Jeno spats out as he keeps fucking you, knowing that you’re extra sensitive after two orgasms upping his motivation to drive you absolutely mad.

Jeno quickly finds your clit, the poor thing swollen with the treatment Jeno previously put it through, rubbing circles on your bundle of nerves roughly, which has you bucking before he sends two smacks its way.

“Fuck,” you curse to yourself as you feel tears prickling the corner of your eyes, trying so hard not to cum from the pain, and in doing so, you clench around Jeno so hard that has him stop mid thrust to anchor himself, he still wants to get at least one more out of you before he cums.

He resumes after having a bit fun with fondling your tits, thanking gravity with the way he could feel the weight of them in his palm, he’s gonna have to suck on them after he’s done with this, he thinks to himself before he goes back to chasing his high, planting one of his feet on the ground to fuck you faster, and soon you could feel yourself cumming at any second, whispering how you’re close to Jeno, before you feel another spank being sent to your clit, the pain and the oversensitivity pushing you over the edge with a scream of Jeno’s name and a fist forming with the sheets on his bed.

“Fuck, love it when you squirt for me,” you hear Jeno distantly, not really registering his words until you feel your thighs being slicked with your release, which Jeno promptly cleans up with his pack of wet tissue he’s kept in his room by the dozen ever since he found out you’re squirter.

When the three towels are stripped from under you and into the hamper, Jeno finally joins you under his fluffy blanket, holding you close.

“I didn’t go too far right?” Jeno asks, he trusts that you will use your safeword if he ever goes over the limit, but he always does a final check in after you settle, just in case you drop into a vulnerable state where you need extra care and attention.

“No, of course not, I feel more than fine, but thank you for asking,” you say before pecking his lips sweetly.

“You hungry? Craving anything? I could check if the guys are getting delivery, see if you want anything,” Jeno offers, but you shake your head.

“Just want some cuddles and sleep, I’ll let you know what I’m craving for brunch tomorrow, but now, I need to recharge,” you say as you snuggle closer to Jeno, practically attached at the hip, but Jeno lets you, combing through your hair for you as you drift off to sleep.

Jeno was first to wake, quickly climbing out of bed to shut his blinds, knowing that you absolutely despise being blinded by the sun rays first thing in the morning, you’ve always been a night owl after all.

After washing up in the bathroom, he makes his way back to you, still sleeping, cuddled under his blankets, just like how he’s tucked you in before he left his room, you don’t move much in your sleep, Jeno notices as he climbs back in bed, it’s no wonder why you always remain in his arms the whole night.

Jeno looked over to his alarm clock to see that it’s almost 10am, he knows this is the time you prefer waking up, and when Jeno sees his blanket slipping off your shoulder to reveal your smooth skin, Jeno has the best idea on how to wake you up, and maybe, even the whole house if he does well enough, and well, unfortunately for the other people sleeping right now, Jeno’s always been a top scorer for anything he puts his mind to, Jeno chuckles to himself at the thought of being a menace as he makes his way under the blankets.

You’ve never had everyone giving you the stink eye before, well, at least not in this frat house, and the one who looks most annoyed is none other than Haechan, whose room is next door to Jeno’s.

“I swear to god, hearing them made my hangover even worse,” Haechan mutters, but loud enough for everyone at the breakfast table to hear, Johnny was the first one to laugh, Johnny had left the party early for a hookup hence the lack of a hangover, he had just got back in time for this comedy show.

“You’re laughing?! My head is still pounding from last night’s drinking and worsened by their shenanigans and you’re laughing?! God, why did Renjun have to get lucky last night, they always pull shit like this when he’s gone,” Haechan complains, or moreso whining, if you asked Jeno.

“Come on, Haechan-ah, it couldn’t have been that bad, I didn’t even hear a thing,” Sungchan says, coming to Jeno’s defence quickly, they’re coursemates after all, and Jeno is always a big help to him, he loves Haechan, but he’s doing this for his own good.

“Your room is on the other side of the house, of course you barely heard anything, she literally sounded like she was getting mauled by a wild animal, listen, let me try and recreate-

Two taps on Jeno’s lap has your boyfriend springing up from his seat with a deadly gaze and Haechan goes silent before he screams bloody murder, running for Jaemin or Mark, whoever he finds first, Sungchan sighs to himself while Johnny and Jungwoo laugh at the comedic scene in front of them, and you can’t help but laugh along with them too, Haechan might have tried making fun of you, but you know Jeno would always be there to silence him for you, and honestly, you could get used to this life you share with Jeno.

The end.

[mirai-e-jump]

Animedia July 2023 Issue Erica Murakami x Yuzuki Hirakawa Interview (Translation below)

(Page 136)

"The Beautiful and Strong Kings have Arrived"

"We'll dig deep into their relationship" "Anatomy Practice"

In order to protect the peace of Chikyu, from the five king heroes of "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger" who fight alongside insect shaped mechanical life forms called "Shugods", comes Murakami-san, who plays the role of Queen Hymeno of Ishabana, and Hirakawa-san, who plays the role of Rita of the Kingdom of Gokkan. The two actors, who play heroes named after insects, report in as researchers on the "OO part" of each other that they have come to see through filming. Furthermore, they also talked about their character's strength and other highlights of the story.

(Page 137)

Discovered by Erica ⭐ Yuzuki's Anatomy Keywords

"Describe Yuzuki in one word…" FULL POWER BOY

Yuzuyan (Hirakawa) plays Rita, who is an immovable character, but she herself is full of energy like a boy! A person who is full of energy and never ceases to smile even at the shooting site. It also keeps me in high spirits. (-Murakami)

"The cute part is…" Making a happy face when eating sweets

When her favorite foods are served on the set, such as sweets and catered boxed lunches, Yuzuyan gets very happy! "Alright! I love these sweets! Oh man, what do I do!" I really love these moments when she doesn't hide her emotions. (-Murakami)

"The OO that only I know is…" Quick at learning the way! Can sing really well!

Toei's studio is quite spacious. I tend to get lost, but she guides me saying, "this way." She is the youngest of the "King-Ohger" members, but she is so mature that I don't believe she's the youngest! The other day we went to karaoke together, which I really enjoyed, but Yuzuyan sang so well that I thought I couldn't sing with her! It's a singing voice I want to listen to forever…💛 (-Murakami)

"The fascinating part is…" The gap between roles and a strong heart!

Isn't it fascinating to have a gap between a character role and the person themself? Rita doesn't talk much, so I really like the gap between them and Yuzuyan, who does talk a lot. Then, even on the most difficult shoots, I see her always trying her best as if saying "I won't be defeated by anything!." I feel the strength of her heart. (-Murakami)

"The surprising part is…" I don't do well with loud noises! Miss Scared

Yuzuyan is a tough, firm and dependable person…but is actually a real scaredy-cat. When there was an explosion shot being filmed right in front of her, she said, "What should I do?! Maybe I should I wear earplugs?" It was so cute! It seems that she doesn't like sudden loud sounds and lights. (-Murakami)

Discovered by Yuzuki ⭐ Erica's Anatomy Keywords

"Describe Erica in one word…" PRINCESS

Her reactions have always been cute, and her very existence is that of a princess! But it's not just about being that she's cute, like a queen, her words and actions are that of nobility. But, I would'nt say she's "selfish" like Hymeno! (-Hirakawa)

"The cute part is…" Feeling "fluffy" when I get sleepy

When we are shooting after lunch or late into the night, Marie (Murakami) goes into a state of mindlessness. When I say, "hey, hey" her response is sometimes delayed by about two tempos. Her spirit sometimes…goes somewhere (lol). (-Hirakawa)

"The OO that only I know is…" You're so brave and cool.

Marie is often thought of as girly, but in fact, she is actually quite courageous. For example, she is very quick to make holiday plans, and when she decides, "Tomorrow I'll do this and that!" she is able to act accordingly and not get distracted. If she were my boyfriend, she would definitely be the type to pull me along! (-Hirakawa)

"The fascinating part is…" I will put my all into everything

She says, "I have no experience in acting," but Marie faces what she's weak at with a straight face. She also always takes care of her health and physical condition, such as bringing her own packed lunch. Because this is a job where we are seen by other people, we try to manage our body shapes for filming. I want to learn from her professional attitude!! (-Hirakawa)

"The surprising part is…" She's a little clumsy

She often forgets things, and often returns to the dressing room right after leaving. She often stumbles over things in empty spaces. She has a firm, mature image, but she is still cute in that kind of way! (-Hirakawa)

(Page 138)

Hymeno and Rita, two people who seem like opposites but are quite similar

"Please tell each other what you like about the character the other is playing."

Murakami: As a judge, Rita's diplomatic approach to pursue the truth when they have doubts is admirable. I envy you for being able to look at things calmly like Rita.

Hirakawa: Hymeno is fashionable and girlishly cute.

Murakami: ahaha (lol)

Hirakawa: The "Queen" is a noble and scary figure, so it's easy to feel defensive, but the way she fights and the strength of her will to protect her people are cool. I also like the occasional moments when Hymeno shows that she is a true to life girl, and it's fun to watch her emotions change over and over again.

Murakami: Suddenly angry, then laughing.

Hirakawa: That's the kind of girl you can't let go.

"Hymeno and Rita, currently they haven't engaged much in the show, but what are your thoughts on their relationship?"

Murakami: Actually, there will be a story about the two of them in the future, but it's not yet at the stage where it is currently being aired.

Hirakawa: Right (lol)

Murakami: In the beginning, Hymeno was a lot more involved with Yanma, but in the future, she'll have relationships with other people, including Rita. When I read the script, among the other members, I felt that Hymeno has a strong sense of trust in Rita.

Hirakawa: Although People tend to think of them as polar opposites, they share the same desire of "protecting the peace of the people."

Murakami: I think they're both close enough to each other that they could talk to each other back to back without saying a single word. Both Hymeno and Rita have the personalities to sense each other's moods.

Hirakawa: It's true, we may not need many words to understand each other.

"We've also learnt that the animated play "Together with Moffun" was a common point"

Murakami: The Ishabana animation "Moffun" will be explored more in depth in the future…please look forward to it!

"I thought it was typical of Rita to say that spoilers are absolutely NG (No Good)."

Murakami: Because they talk passionately about "Moffun"

Hirakawa: Given the amount of work Rita has to do, I think it's the only thing they find both enjoyable and comforting. That's why they are so passionate about it.

"Please tell us what each of your personal favorite episodes are."

Murakami: I really liked the performance that comes out of Taisei-kun's "Let's do it!" tension scenes. In episode 4, I loved the expression on his face when he eats a raw daikon radish, and in episode 11 when Taisei-kun (Gira) was goofing around while everyone is making a strategy plan was the best.

Hirakawa: The "Archaic Smile" he made at the time was extreme!

Murakami: The way you paraphrased it, that explains it all perfectly!

Hirakawa: I was impressed with episode 12, in which we see the relationship between the additional warrior, Jeramie, and the King-Ohger members. The reaction of the five kings to Jeramie felt fresh. I felt like something new was born during that episodes filming, and I couldn't wait to see the finished product.

"Please tell us about episodes that opened on the boys' side where you found the scenes most memorable"

Murakami: It's the scene in episode 3 with Yanma, who still admires Hymeno, and Gira asks, "Don't tell me, are you in love (with Hymeno)?" When asked about it, I really liked how the president (Yanma) replied, "It's not like that!." I liked his shyness and how unaccustomed he is around girls, it was an unexpected performance.

Hirakawa: For me, it's the scene in episode 5 when Gira's trial took place. Rita's feelings were not that they patronized Gira, but when they looked straight into Gira's eyes, they were made to believe "he's a beloved character who can't be left alone."

"Finally, would you please give a message to our readers"

Murakami: The story develops very quickly, so first off, I would like you to follow along every week without missing a single episode! There will be more in depth stories about the characters in the future, so please look back at the past episodes and enjoy the story that will continue to unfold.

Hirakawa: With the introdction of Jeramie, the story is progressing at a rapid pace, but there is actually various foreshadowing scattered among the broadcasted episodes so far. Someone said something, or an action of a character who was not present in the scene…I hope you will pay attention to these details, as they will play a part in the future development of the story.

[authorautumnbanks]

One Night (21)

The amusement park is packed, but Shippo appears to be doing okay with the noise. Granted, she got him some earplugs and Koushi some headphones. Kagome pulls the small blanket until it is up to Koushi's chest. He looks out of the stroller window. She has his baby carrier just in case he wants a better view of everything going on. Koushi is pretty inquisitive.

"Sensei!" the students yell.

Kagome stops and looks over her shoulder. Why are their faces so red? Did something happen?

"My bad," Satoru sighs, removing his hand.

Oh.

Satoru is always touching her. Always squeezing her ass or resting his hand on her lower back. Satoru huffs and then places his hand on her lower back.

She ducks her head and smiles. Her insides are gooey like a cinnamon roll. Being with Satoru is a little like that. Warm. Soft. And when she takes him into her mouth, he tastes—Kagome gives herself a mental shake. Not the place.

"I want to ride on that!" Shippo says from his place on Satoru's shoulders. Kagome follows where Shippo is pointing and then shakes her head. "Papa! Let's go!"

"Nope, you gotta stick to the ride for kids." Not that Shippo would be hurt or affected by the larger rides, but he is supposed to be six, and six-year-olds do not ride the biggest roller coaster in the park. Or maybe they do. Doesn't matter, Shippo is small and wouldn't pass the height requirement.

"But..."

"Sorry, bud. We'll head to the kid's section. There are a lot of games you can play." Satoru looks over his shoulder. "You guys are free to do your own thing, and we can meet up for dinner. Unless you want to ride the smaller rides."

"We'll meet up," Yaga says, rubbing the back of his head. Next to him, Panda's large dark brown eyes have yet to blink. He is as tall as Yaga in the human form, Shippo gave him. His hair is black with white streaks.

"Megumi," Shippo coos.

"No."

"Big brother," Shippo sing songs. "You know you want to stay with the family."

Kagome sighs. "Shippo, Megumi wants to hang out with his friends. Come on, or you won't have time for any of the rides." She flashes a smile at Megumi, who looks so relieved. The students follow them for a bit and then break off into their own groups. Once it is just them, Satoru stops.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Why wouldn't she be okay? Kagome tilts her head. "Yeah?"

"You can't get on any of the rides, and I'll need to go with Shippo." Even with the shades on, she can tell he is looking at her stomach.

She exhales. "I haven't taken a test." Not that any test would be more accurate than Sesshomaru, but still, it does not feel real. After trying for so long, getting pregnant so easily is hard for her to wrap her mind around.

"I believe in Sesshomaru."

"You believe in Sesshomaru," she chortles. "You barely know him."

"Seemed like an okay guy," Satoru says with a smile.

"He lives up to the whole killing perfection name," Shippo quips.

"I'm still alive," Kagome points out.

"What?" Satoru snatches his shades off and hangs them from his hoodie. "What do you mean by that?"

Whoops. She needs to change the subject. Last thing she needs is for Satoru to pick a fight with Sesshomaru the next time they go back to visit. She did promise to get some winter clothing for Sango's family. Kagome flutters her eyelashes and strokes his arm. "My mom and Syouma want to take the boys shopping over the weekend."

"... This weekend?" Satoru bites his lip. "We'll be in the house by then. Like the whole day?"

"A couple of hours." She mirrors him, biting her lip as well while heat builds in her gut. Satoru isn't wearing anything crazy, but for some reason, the black hoodie and jeans are driving her crazy.

"Papa! I want to go on a ride." Shippo huffs.

"Sorry, sorry." Satoru laughs. "Let's get moving. Now you don't have to ride every single one. We can always come back. Plus, I don't like leaving your mom alone for long. There's always something lurking around the corner." Satoru glances over to the left. Kagome frowns.

"I can put a barrier up while we wait if it'll make you feel better." In the stroller, she's got a shikigami disguised as a toy in case she needs any extra support, though she doubts it.

Satoru nods, but he's still looking to the left. "Yeah, you should do that."

"Are we going after them?" Shippo asks, taking his shades off.

"Nah, they haven't tried anything." Satoru flashes her a smile as he hands Kagome his and Shippo's shades for safe keeping. "I think there are some rides we can all get on, like a tour or something." He rubs her back and when he pulls away so he and Shippo can get in line, Kagome's heart pangs. Oh dear, she is falling for him.

Koushi looks up at her and stretches his arms out.

"Oh, did you want to watch Daddy and Shippo?" Kagome coos as she takes Koushi out of the stroller. She balances Koushi with one arm and pulls out her phone to record. "You see Daddy?" She holds the phone up. Koushi laughs and then fusses. "Oh no, buddy. You stay right here. Don't even think about it." Kagome squints her eyes at Koushi and tries to look stern, but he just giggles and Kagome's stern demeanor cracks faster than an egg. "I'm serious. You stay right here with me, or you'll give mommy and daddy a scare."

Koushi yawns.

Figures.

He threw a fit earlier when Shippo declared he was going with Satoru instead of shopping with her. Kagome presses her lips into a thin line. At this rate, Satoru will have to come with if she wants the boys to do anything. She lowers her phone and stops recording right as Satoru and Shippo head over to them.

"I want to go on another one!" Shippo says, jumping up and down. "And I want to win some prizes, too." He stops and then points a finger at a game. "I gotta get something for my brother and Mama."

"Well, let's go win some prizes, yeah!" Satoru fist pumps the air. Shippo mimics him. Koushi clenches his fist and Kagome bites down on her tongue to stop from laughing. They end up winning more prizes than what can fit in the bottom of Koushi's stroller. "What is Shippo doing?" Satoru asks.

Kagome hums. "He's always been partial to human girls," she admits. With an arm full of prizes, Shippo talks animatedly with some young girl with brown hair. He gives her an oversized stuffed bear and laughs at something she says. Shippo hands over another prize.

"... He's far too young for that," Satoru exclaims. "Oi! Shippo, come on. We gotta meet the others for dinner, save some for them!" Satoru raises a brow. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she says, turning her head away. "Did you want to take a bath with me when—"

"Yes. Fu—mmm yes."

"Papa, seriously?" Shippo rolls his eyes. "I left one gift for Megumi. Can I have cake for dinner?" Shippo waves goodbye to the brown-haired girl. Her parents shake their heads and usher her away. "Please?" Shippo widens his eyes.

Kagome gives Shippo an Are you serious right now expression and turns the stroller around. "No one is having cake before dinner." She looks at Satoru, who throws his hands up in front of him. Uh-huh, Satoru was planning on getting sweets first, for sure.

"Shippo and I are gonna step out for a bit once we meet up with the others."

"Everything good?"

"It will be."

Got it. He's going to put some fear in whoever is on his radar. When they get to the restaurant, Satoru kisses the top of Kagome's head and then Koushi's.

"Where is Gojo-sensei going?" Yuji asks, pulling out a seat across from her.

"Oh, there's someone being weird, so I think he's gonna talk to them or kill them." She shrugs one shoulder while she cradles Koushi in her arms and looks over the menu. "He and Shippo will be back soon. Shippo will be upset if he misses the show." Kagome motions to the stage on the right. The tickets were pricey, but Satoru insisted they get front-row seating to the stage.

Yuji scratches his head.

Was it something she said? Kagome frowns. Why is everyone looking at her like that? Aren't they sorcerers like Satoru? She does not get what the big deal is.

"What's wrong?"

"You're so nonchalant about it," Nobara says.

"Oh... well, we've already had to deal with one assassin since the news of Koushi spread." She glances back at the menu. Satoru will probably want that. If they aren't back in time, she'll just order for them. Shippo will want everything. "Chances are they'll back down, though."

"We should do something for sensei," Yuta says after a moment. "He took care of everyone's missions so we can enjoy this night out." The table grumbles, but the students eventually agree to put something together. Only Megumi watches Kagome, so she flashes him a small smile.

Satoru did not take on everyone's missions, but Kagome is not going to correct the student's line of thinking, nor is she going to bring attention to how many shikigami she can make.

"Uh... Kagome-san?" Yuji starts. "What does sensei like?"

Kagome stares blankly. What does Satoru like? "He likes sweets, and he loves when the boys show off...is there anything you guys have been working on that you could show him?"

"My energy can be sloppy," Yuta says, leaning forward. "But I've been working on it."

"Put something together like the exchange event," Yaga says after a moment. "It would be good for everyone."

"Is everyone participating, minus Gojo-sensei?"

Yaga frowns. "Naturally, Satoru should not partake. It will be a celebration of sorts."

Kagome looks down at Koushi and smiles. She isn't quite sure what the others are planning on, but it sounds like some kind of event for Satoru to watch.

"Could Shippo participate?" Yuta asks. "Or would that be too much for him? He is young, but he's so strong." Yuta motions to Panda, who looks delighted to be out and about with everyone in his human disguise.

"That will have to be up to Satoru since he has a better judgment of what Shippo can handle," Kagome admits. It doesn't sound any different from the things Shippo did at the kitsune school and Shippo insists on going on missions with Satoru. Kagome shifts Koushi. He wraps his hand around her finger.

Satoru is a good father.

"Yo! Sorry, took longer than I thought it would." Satoru pulls out a chair to the right of Kagome for Shippo and then sits down next to her on the left. "Did we already order?"

"Gojo-sensei?" Yuji asks, lowering his voice. "Did you... did you kill someone?"

Shippo snickers.

Yuji rears back. "Shippo? Did you?"

"I'm just a kid," Shippo replies, widening his eyes and blinking them. "I would never. Why, I can't believe you would accuse me of such things." He sniffs.

"What? No! I wasn't—"

"Shippo, enough," Kagome interrupts. "I was going to order this for you if you weren't back in time." Kagome points to the menu.

"Looks good to me," Satoru replies, pulling out his phone. "I'll just go with that then." He slides his phone back into his pocket right as Kagome's vibrates.

Did he text her?

Satoru: I'm going to stick my tongue in your ass tonight ;)

Her face burns. She wants to look at him so badly, but she doesn't trust herself to not melt into a pile of goo at the table. Who says that? Her heart is beating so loud, she's just happy neither Shippo nor Panda have called her out on it. Satoru squeezes her thigh. She bites back the whimper, shocked by her reaction.

It is only after the server comes around to get their orders and returns with their meals that Megumi addresses Shippo. He runs a hand over his hair. "So, just curious, what did you do?"

Shippo glances away from the stage, a live show about a girl raised by lions and how she falls in love with the boy raised by hyenas, and cups his hand around his mouth. "He's alive. Papa let me practice my domain expansion."

The table goes still and then all eyes turn to Satoru, who continues to eat with one hand. His other hand is still firmly attached to her thigh.

"Satoru," Yaga says lowly, keeping his voice down. Kagome swears she is hearing a hint of fear in Yaga's voice.

"What? I was just helping to tire him out some before we leave here. No biggie." Satoru squeezes her thigh and then holds out his hands for Koushi. "Shhh, watch the show." He rests his arm across the back of her chair and brushes the tips of his fingers across her arm.

I'm going to stick my tongue in your ass tonight.

Kagome closes her eyes and exhales. So much for paying attention to the show.

***

A/N: The students are now regretting their decision to include Shippo in their Gojo-sensei appreciation event. Megumi hasn't shared his new shikigami with the others, so he's the only one who suspected Kagome may have had something to do with Satoru being able to take on their workload.

"Will Shippo get an attendant too?" - Right now Ito, is like the attendant/assistant for the whole family.

"Shippo probably needs more nutrition to keep up the illusion all day" - Yep, he's eating a lot more because he's expending more energy. He's on his way to gaining another tail.

Take care! Wishing a wonderful Sunday and a wonderful week. Drink plenty of water and get lots or rest!

Side story, I was talking to my grandma yesterday and she was telling me how happy she was to have little titties instead of many titties and I stared at the phone wondering how we got to such a conversation.

[the-down-upside-finch]

What's in Your Bag? (Tag Game!)

I'm starting a new tag game! (It probably already exists somewhere but I couldn’t find it so IT'S MINE NOW MWA HA HA /j) Anyways, does your OC carry a bag? Do they have pockets? Well, then this tag game is for you!

What sort of items (maybe it's just one thing) does your OC always have with them, either in their bag or pockets?

Gently tagging @my-cursed-prince, @athenswrites, @worldsfromhoney, @card-queen, @k-v-briarwood, @harleyacoincidence, @da-na-hae, and I'll leave the tag open for anyone that sees this and wants to play!

Okay okay I'm going to do this with the MCs from Minding Q's because these characters would bring their whole house with them if they could:

Celain doesn't usually have a bag (besides her school backpack), but when she does, it always has: - Chapstick - Pair of earplugs - Granola bar or some other snack - Microfiber cloth to clean her glasses + lens cleaning spray - Phone charger - Umbrella - Hygiene products

Sterling literally always has a backpack with him, either his big bag for school or a smaller one for errands and stuff, and inside of it he always carries: - Box of adhesive bandages (the fabric ones) - Several pairs of earplugs - Pack of disinfectant wipes - Notepad and pen (for when inspiration strikes) - Fidget cube - Mini flashlight - Cloth face mask - Travel sewing kit

(I'm also going to include the two almost-main-characters because they're probably a better example for this haha)

Katelyn will bring a small purse with her, and inside she always carries: - Tylenol and Ibuprofen (in case anyone is allergic to either) - Lipstick (or lip gloss, depending on the day) - Small stick of deodorant (she gets self-conscious)

Max never carries a bag outside of school, but in his pockets he always has: - His hearing aid box (and the charging cord) - Folding pocket comb - Notepad and pencil (for certain situations)

Anyways, yeah! Go wild, y'all! Hopefully this one will be fun. :}

[akesdraws-blog]

Headcannons TMNT 2007

💙 Leonardo 💙

• When he returned to the city, he himself disliked the smell of the sewers a little. -Was that smell always there?- -It's a sewer, what did you expect it to smell like?-

• He was like an old man with technology • Constantly referred to controllers, cameras, phones, and everything else that was technological as "Thing." -Can you pass me the thing to change the channel?- -Man, are you talking about the remote control?- -Yes that thing-

• It was difficult for him to sleep again in his room because of the sounds of the subway that woke him up almost all the time. • For a while he had to sleep with earplugs. • He scared his brothers at dawn because now his footsteps were much quieter than before. • Sometimes his brothers found him asleep on some pipes in the ceiling. -Did you fall asleep on the roof again?- -It's the custom, it reminds me of trees- -I'll get you a branch if you want, child of the jungle-

♥️ Raph ♥️

• You still need the noise of the subway to be able to sleep. • The thugs of the city are sometimes visited by the “nightwatcher” and the “ghost of the jungle”. • Raph and Leo race when they're going somewhere, it's not even planned, it just happens at any moment. • Raph had a beer together with Casey, and they both came home a bit drunk. -Raph, where were you?- -Sssh~, don't tell Leo to drink with Casey- -I'm a leo- -I'm not drunk-

• he wakes up at dawn to go to Leo's room, to make sure that he really is home and that it wasn't all just a dream. • She really likes to go out on his motorcycle. • He is in meditation training with Splinter to control his anger. -Relax your mind, how do you feel Raphael?- -💤💤- -At least he's relaxed-

• he Now he also supports at home, working as a postal worker. (He obviously disguises himself) • He sleeps longer, but he still gets up at night out of habit.

🧡Michelangelo 🧡

• he Quit his job being “carl cowabunga”, but now he is an online party planner. • Donnie helped create his page for hosting fun parties. • Still has nightmares about children's birthday parties. • He hugs his brothers a lot. (Even though Raph is a bit annoyed / he actually likes Raph but he plays tough). • he still urges donnie to build a rocket pack. • When he found out that Raph was the “nightwatcher”, he peppered him with questions. -So your motorcycle doesn't fly and you don't have a rocket pack?- -I don't even know how that rumor started- -Man, I feel cheated!- -Don't believe everything they say on the streets-

• When on the Internet he found a “nightwatcher” fan forum he joined and presumed that he has an autograph from the vigilante. • He is proud to say that the vigilante is his brother. (But Raph forbade him to divulge it)

💜 Donatello 💜

• Thanks to Abril he now works correcting company codes and algorithms. • he is grateful to have resigned from his tech support job. • On more than one occasion Leo scared him at dawn by mistake. -Who the hell would think of using this type of code?- -And is it something bad?- -DAMN IT, LEO! YOU ALMOST CAUSED ME A HEART FACT!- -I was just going to meditate a bit- -At 4 in the morning?!-

• He does medical tests on each of his brothers and Splinter, it is still a mystery why Splinter's cholesterol is still a little high. • He is in charge of managing the household money. • Once a week everyone makes a shopping list, and Donnie is in charge of discarding what is unnecessary. -Please donnie! I need my soda reserves!!- -Mikey, your sugar levels have risen a lot, soda is out for a while- -NOOOO-

• He doesn't know that Raph was the “nightwatcher”, so sometimes when he comes out in conversation he expresses his dislike of him without a problem. • Since the last accident with Leo, each of his brothers has a tracker on their weapons and some hidden objects. ° Mikey has one on his skateboard. ° Raph has one on his motorcycle. ° Leo has one on his belt. ° His brothers put one in his headphones.

• After his fight with the "Stone Generals" he started to read more books of legends and mythological beings, he would be ready if they face a new legendary villain or monster.

🐢✨🐢✨🐢✨🐢✨🐢✨🐢✨🐢✨🐢

I love the 2007 turtle movie because besides the 2003 series it was the second thing that introduced me to the world of TMNT and to this day it remains one of my favorite ninja turtle movies. 💖✨🐢

What version or how did you enter the world of ninja turtles?

Tags: @post-apocalyptic-daydream . @turtle-babe83 . @turtlesmakemehappy . @dilucsflame33 . @thelaundrybitch . @scholastic-dragon . @leosgirl82 . @tmnt-tychou . @mackbunny . @happymoonangel .

[uncloseted]

Hi Christina!

I’m traveling to Málaga, Spain in a couple of weeks and I have a lot of anxiety because this is my first time traveling to a foreign country. I vaguely remember that you visited Spain, but I was wondering if you can share any advice such as your favorite / must haves travel essentials, how to enjoy your time yet be budget friendly? Not too interested in doing touristy stuff but I heard the beaches are nice? Do you recommend staying at an Airbnb, hotel, hostel, or a capsule hotel? Would love to hear your recommendations! Also, any followers of Christina’s can chime in as well, much appreciated. Thank you in advanced.

That's so exciting! I bet you're going to have the best time. I've never been to Málaga before, but I have been to Spain and I solo travel a fair amount, so I'll tell you what I know.

Starting with where to stay, a hostel will be your most budget-friendly option. The average price of a hotel in Malaga is around $101 USD per night, while hostels can go as low as $20 USD per night. Hostels are also better in terms of meeting people, since they tend to be full of young travelers looking to make friends. Just make sure that the hostel has good reviews and is located in a safe area. TOC hostel seems like a popular choice. As far as Airbnbs go, they tend to be around the price of a hotel and come with their own rules and regulations. They're a great option if you're working while staying somewhere long-term and want to get a sense of what it's like to live there, but other than that I would skip them.

As far as how to enjoy your time, it really depends on what you like. I'll typically see if Conde Nast Traveller has articles on the places I'm going (here and here), then I'll do a search on Reddit to see what people like, and I also check out Atlas Obscura to see if there are any weird or interesting attractions around. I love museums, so I usually check out which ones are in the city. You can also Google something like "best free things to do in Malaga" and you'll get a whole list. I would maybe check out the Picasso Museum or the Carmen Thyssen Museum, which are free on Sundays, the Contemporary Art Centre of Malaga, which is always free, the Museum of Malaga, the Alcazaba and the Gibralfaro Castle, stroll along the Puerto de Malaga and Paseo Maritimo, and go to the Malaga Botanical Garden. If you like food and you want to save some money on eating out, going to one of the markets could also be a really nice activity. Grocery stores are also your friend if you're looking to save some money- I like getting some picnic supplies and then going to sit in a park or on the beach. I would maybe also look to see if there are any tours you would be interested in or a class you might want to take in something that's unique to Malaga. For example, when I was in Iceland, I did a ride through a lava field on an Icelandic pony, which was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and super fun. Finding things like that that are really unique can help to make your trip more memorable. Tours can also help you connect with other travelers, which is great if you're on your own and maybe feel a little lost. Just wandering around the city can also be a great activity in itself and help you figure out what you want to see or do.

For travel essentials, I think people will try to sell you on all sorts of gadgets, but I don't really travel with that many things that are out of the ordinary. I'm in Greece now, and the travel items I brought with me are a universal power adapter and packing cubes. If you're going to stay at a hostel, I would recommend getting a good pair of earplugs (I like the Loop ones, but honestly any of them are fine), an eye mask, and maybe a portable lock box for your valuables (this is also useful if you want to go to the beach without worrying that your stuff will get stolen). If you're staying on your own, I usually travel with a doorstop alarm, but that's really for my own peace of mind- I've never actually needed it. Other than that, I try to carry a few different types of medications with me in case I need them, and I try to have long enough charging cables so that they'll reach regardless of where I am, but that's pretty much it. If you don't speak the language of the place you're going, the Google Translate app is a good thing to download because it can scan written text and translate it in real time. I would also check to see what the public transportation looks like and if you need to download any additional apps for that.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but please feel free to send in follow up questions! Mostly, just go into it with an open mind and try to have fun. The unexpected parts of a trip are often the best parts.

[bad0mens]

Yesterday was an emotional day for me and not in a good way.

Under the cut because I need it out.

I'm not sure what the 'inciting' incident was, or if there even was one. I think it was honestly just a build up of working retail during the holidays where I'm inundated with people who are rude and impatient and it's been getting to me. My situation at home isn't a bad one. But I constantly feel the 'quiet older middle child syndrome' as well as 'high masking autistic adult who is largely self sufficient disorder'. So I feel like in some ways, I fall through the cracks in the minds of my family. They don't feel they need to worry about me because I'm usually good at taking care of myself.

The problem arises here. In a lot of ways, especially yesterday, I felt like an after thought to my own family. Allow me to explain.

Three of the specific things that got me yesterday, and maybe they sound petty, were:

1. We drove three hours there, expecting a short event packed with lots of people but it was instead a long event packed with people and my social battery is all but dead on my off days because it has to work on my on days. I was able to keep myself mostly sane by working on fics and keeping my earplugs in because my family, especially my younger sister, is very loud. I want to spend time with my family on the holidays, but I also want to relax and be comfortable when the tense of working this time of year is finally starting to ebb.

2. There was a lot of food to go around... But only about 3 things I could actually eat. Mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. You may notice there is no protein or real vegetables in any of those options. I've been a vegetarian for going on 20 years. This isn't something new for my family. My mother and younger sister did the cooking and thought to make the stuffing safe for me to eat. But that was it. The worst part of this is, I also forgot to even bring myself something like that to cook, so it's really on me as well (which is a part of the problem I'll get to in a moment).

3. I had two presents to unwrap. I know how ungrateful this sounds. But it's not about the number of presents. It's really not. I got things I asked for and I am grateful for them! It's a chunk of the larger problem, though. There was lots of presentation and fun in other people's gifts. One of mine was thrown haphazardly in a bag with nothing to cover it. The other was a wrapped cardboard box with the item inside.

Normally, any of these one things by themselves is fine, but emotions were running high after a season of working retail (not to mention I got in an argument with my boomer father who started the "no one wants to work these days" that I had to shut down pretty hard").

The problem was that, even on this day about family, I was an after thought. And the problem stems from my own behavior. I'm a helper, I care about other people, I put other people first, constantly. So constantly that I almost never put myself first. So no one else thinks to either. I'm not asking to be the specialist girl at Christmas. I'm asking to feel like I'm cared about as more than a "oh shit we can't forget about--".

I don't put myself first, so why should anyone else? I brush off this behavior in myself and others as fine. I pick pieces of myself apart to try and help other people feel whole when I've never felt whole in my entire life. And the worst part, the most painful part, is that I've ultimately done this to myself.

I sat at the dinner table, feeling alien and broken and alone surrounded by my own family, simultaneously dissociating and trying not to cry. It was my college graduation all over again, when weeks before my father reminded me that art degrees were functionally useless and I was wasting my time and money after a lifetime of hearing the lie that I could be whatever I wanted to be if I worked hard enough. It was that moment all over again. But amplified. It felt like everyone was in on the joke now.

And I still played to other people's comfort. I did not cry about it no matter how increasingly painful it became until 4 hours later when I was finally at home and my older sister asked me what was wrong. And I finally said something. I told her I felt like an after thought.

But it isn't until this moment, nearly 10 hours later, that I'm realizing the truth of it.

Who's going to put me first when I never put me first? Why would anyone bother? I don't. And after what feels like a lifetime of putting other people before myself, I'm left with the fact that my family can't be blamed. I did this to myself.

[zannolin]

@define-lying replied to your post “writing my fics and planning the notes in advance...”:

Wait I’ve always been confused about this because of the scene in the first movie where the boys hide in Darla’s room and she learns the secret. Was there another bed in the room that I missed? Where was Mary during that scene? Genuinely would love your insight

​yes SO. i have two pieces of evidence for this and if you really wanted it to, it could go either way but i will discuss that shortly. so exhibit A, we have this passage in the shazam junior novel (chapter 8) which originally planted the thought in my mind:

They could hear Rosa coming up the stairs. There was no time- no way they'd make it to Freddy's room. Billy opened the first door they came to, yanking Freddy in behind him and slamming it shut. He turned around, heart hammering, and there, in the darkened room, was Darla. She was sitting up in bed, staring at them, her eyes wide with fear. In the other bed, Mary slept soundly, earplugs in and eye mask on. "Billy? Freddy?" Rosa called from the hallway. They heard her footsteps pass Darla and Mary's door and head farther back toward Freddy's room.

(they do explain why she doesn't wake up during this scene and yes it's because of the mask and earplugs and personally i thought it was hilarious)

so there's that, of course, and we'll come back to the canonicity of this momentarily. there's also exhibit B: the deleted scene of darla and billy having a tea party, wherein you can see a second bed (and two desks) in darla's room:

this bed is not visible at all during the main scene in darla's room so i actually thought the room was much smaller than it actually is. it's hard for me to make out some of the details because youtube quality but i'm not really seeing anything that's explicitly mary's, but the entire room DOES look lived in so take that as you will.

NOW. this can go either way for a couple reasons. first, the junior novel is arguably not canon. some events are changed towards the end, and it follows the earlier/alternate version of sivana's backstory from the deleted scenes. the wizard also like straight up dies, but then again it really seemed like he did in the original before fotg so i'll cut that some slack. however, this is dc we're talking about. doesn't everyone just cherrypick canon from the comics anyway? jk but really i do what i want. secondly, there's also the argument of the canonicity of deleted scenes, but i feel like that's kind of neither here nor there for this one since it seems to have just been cut for runtime or something, not because it alters the story in any way. thirdly you could just make the argument that there happens to be another bed in darla's room for purposes of, idk, taking more kids in at some future point, because there's actually two sets of bunk beds in billy and freddy's room.

i will elaborate on this because i've been wanting to talk about it for ages but could never find an excuse. you can see in the first scene in the room that one set is to the right of the door upon entering, are parallel to each other, and pretty low to the ground:

while the billy sneaks out scene shows the ones they sleep on has the bottom one perpendicular to the top. you can see in the scene where the kids come in after victor tells him off that billy is sitting on this bottom bunk, and the beds are placed across from the door, in the corner of the room we don't really see much in any other scenes, which is why it's not something i caught on my first or second watch:

sidenote this room is shaped so weirdly my brain cannot comprehend it. also did anyone else notice his fully packed backpack sitting there on the bed? he was totally gonna run after this :) anyway if you pay attention you can see they're a lot taller than the other set; they actually stand next to them when freddy is showing billy his batarang. more unnecessary shots to prove my point (note how you can see the unused set in the background):

point being if you wanted to give mary her own room you could just make the argument that the novel isn't official canon and the bed is just there for in case they get another kid. but i think the original intent is that mary and darla share a room, just going off the junior novel, which also gives a valid and entertaining explanation for where mary was during the scene that took place in darla's room (or alternatively, you can go with the option presented in the billy sneaks out scene that she's just up late when everyone else is asleep or something). it can go either way but my instinct is yeah they share a room (there's only so many rooms in this house, after all, and there's eight of them) it's just never explicitly stated in the movie.

thank you for coming to my highly unnecessary TED talk.

[forlorn-crows]

Ok so now that the US tour is about a month away, what’s everyone wearing to their rituals?! I can’t decide if I should go in my goth hoe sunday besttt or comfy & casual in ghost tshirt/denim shorts

my best advice is 1) dress for the weather. pick fabrics that will be light, airy if your venue is outside like mine. perhaps wear a very lightweight under layer (tank top, shorts) that you can shuck your top layer if youre at risk for overheating or start to feel faint. bring hairties too, if you need them. WEAR YOUR DAMN SUNSCREEN.

2) wear what makes YOU comfortable. if you wanna goth-hoe out, DO IT! people love to dress up for ghost concerts, ive seen people in full papal regalia INCLUDING facepaint. the sky is the limit. or, you could wear just shorts and a ghost tshirt. sneakers. actually, i recommend sneakers for any outfit. you dont want to stand in shoes that arent comfy, and def do NOT wear open toed shoes. youd be safer in them if you have a seat, but honestly i wouldnt risk being stepped on. its also good in case of emergency, you dont have to worry about fumbling in shoes that dont fit right or are hard to walk in.

overall, keep safety and health in mind, and wear whatever you want! i personally am going to wear some high-top shoes, a dress that has slits in it for airflow, some fun fishnets underneath (to add some flair, but not heat), and most likely a shirt on top of the dress like knotted in the front. i'll probably fix my hair up because im a SWEATER (just like my mountain), and all my clothes are black lmao. i may also do some very minimal makeup, a black lip and some eyeliner maybe. i rub my face a lot and wear glasses (and sweat, as prev mentioned) so i cant do face paint or anything much else beyond sunscreen. and i have some little horns and misc jewelry that i'll wear i think!

also a pro tip, bring the smallest bag (or no bag) that you can. i'll probably only bring my credit card, id, hotel key, and my phone is going on one of those lanyards that attach to my case since i wont have pockets. i may stick those other items in my friends bag. the less items you carry, the faster you get through security and the less worry you have overall during the concert! research the kind of bag and things you can and cant bring to your venue. some venues in certain states ive heard actually have to allow you to bring in water as well, which you should do if you're able.

oh god also EARPLUGS. GET EARPLUGS FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN (if you're able to wear them). your hearing is so so important, and i promise you will still be able to hear everything just fine.

tldr; wear what you want, pack light, stay safe, and have fun!

[photographyrich1965]

War Pig

Have you ever looked through the modern day version of Little Nickel, i.e. FB Marketplace, with no ill intent. only a benign plan to kill a few minutes until lunch break is over or the ten hour workday draws to a close ?

Recently happened to me. my daisy fresh coworkers scanned away as I mentally willed the minute hand to eclipse 5:24 on the old Kronos. right around 5:16 I spotted a bike that'd been very much on my "own one day" roster - a Harley Davidson XR1200.

Harley does one type of motorcycle, the cruiser, extremely well. when they venture out of their box and try to compete against other genres..., well it's often a hard hit in the sales numbers. the XR1200 was an attempt in the late aughts to attract some of those sweet sweet Euro's the go-fasters of European lineage seem to eat up.

there's one type of racing Harley Davidson's have long dominated, dirt track racing. their XR750 has been many many winners weapon of choice. has to do with the way the V-twin's power pulses connect with the hard packed dirt, the ease with which the bikes handle, and other variables my shallow pool of dirt track knowledge has long drained. suffice to say, Harley figured, "why not design a fast (for a the type) street version of our race bike, using parts bin technology - most notably, the stodgy old Sportster engine filled with go fast goodies from the Harley owned, and killed, Buell.

All this probably looked good on paper. In reality the XR absolutely sucked eggs compared to any of the Japanese or Italian offerings. the Sportster engine is, after all, extremely antiquated technology. a Sean Connery James Bond in a lean and buff, steroid enhanced modern world. Where the Japanese motorcycles are smooth and mild mannered until they howl past 10K rpm, the XR vibrates too and fro at rest, followed by an a fussy pull off idle, then rocket like midrange that wants nothing more than to punt you into the side of the Explorer across the intersection.

The bikes redline, 7.5K, is nothing to write home about for anything other than a Harley V-twin. like granny on your fixie in San Fran, you expect to see parts spread down the highway once the shrieking stops. 70 mph is a relatively busy 4K rpm. this is a bike you ride with a full face helmet and earplugs, trusting the dialed down cacophony and Harley's engineers to hold together.

If this sounds like a whole lot of lame, stay tuned for part two where I'll tell you why the XR is so appealing, and why it's an especially good fit for crusty old me :-)

[pirefyrelight]

Since I'm actually able to get off for the whole of the nearest irish fest this year, here are my thoughts on first two days:

How the fuck do you run an Irish fest and seemingly not have an ounce of actual whisky for miles? What is this Irish ""flavored"" coffee I pay in cash outside of the drink tent that isn't payed for in tickets, huh?? Also how dare you, Gaelic Storm Guy, for playing the "whiskey is the heart of man oh whiskey whiskey whiskey oh" song, just to taunt me probably. I'm not a beer guy, where's the actual good stuff.

On more positive notes, Davey Holden, blorbo from my short youtube history documentaries on rebel song history, was there. He mentoned a few things he didn't in videos so even if it wasn't cool on its own to meet him in person, definitely worth checking out his presentation.

Also, Harp Twins, when are they getting on the main stage. How many times do they need to pack the harp tent way in the back of the grounds, making jokes that they know who the better fans are by who knows to come early enough to secure a seat, before they get at least one spot on the main stage. It doesn't even need to be a prime time spot just get them there I promise they'll do well.

Theyd also do well as a renfair act, and I mean that with the highest honor. Their comedy is very vibes for a renfair, and they already have the scary mountain men and viking jokes they'd only need to tweak a few things. The Danger Committee could even make more poignant jokes about the ~Distant Drumming~ messing up their knife throwing concentration.

High respect to the accents presentation guy, who at the start very specifically said how he's not Irish, just American, and also an actor and that's the angle he's taking this, and also the difference in accuracy vs authenticity. Also he mentioned he was teaching based on Dublin, but that there was a wide range and 'so and so would be said like this up in the north but like this in the southern tip' and the difference in accent vs dialect. It was just in general a very informative presentation for the hour or so we got and covered a lot of general ground that applies to any accent one would want to put on.

Also Ian Gould is Belle of Belfast city, confirmed (he's got bells on his toes)

I think it was the Finns? Added a few points to my "the venn diagram of irish songs and sea songs is almost a single circle" diagram, going almost immediately from Johnston's Moter Car to Wellerman and Bonny Lies Over The Ocean and a few others I don't remember this very moment but was def going That's a sea song That one too

speaking of that tally sheet, the accent guy when talking about always pronouncing your Rs in Irish, said to think about a pirate accent (for this exact phonetic part not the whole accent) and suddenly my eyes are opened to a theory as to where the stereotypical pirate accent came from.

There was def more I was thinking about typing up but I don't remember now with the ringing in my ears distracting me despite my usage of concert grade earplugs anytime I was near the main tent. I'm sure I'll remember 20 more things the moment my head hits my pillow.

[aoicourier]

November 19th, 2281

I'm in heaven, Pip.

No, I didn't get shot by a Fiend or torn in half by a deathclaw on the way back to New Vegas. There was a lot of fighting today, but Veronica and I came through unscathed. We left the Vault just before dawn, after being told that Cooke had sent word to other Powder Ganger camps not to attack us so long as we didn't cause any trouble. A truce for helping them out. I silently thought the same thing myself: I have no problem with the Powders so long as they don't stand in my way. They're criminals in the eyes of the NCR, but don't misunderstand my allegiances, Pip: I need the NCR to defeat Caesar's Legion in the upcoming battle, but I'm not about to recognise their President Kimball as my sovereign just yet. Things aren't that simple.

The road to New Vegas was quiet at first. We passed a woman wearing the same hooded robe as Veronica, another Brotherhood scribe. They recognised each other, and the woman laughed that I'd need a good pair of earplugs if I was going to travel with her. Veronica jokingly waved her power fist at her in response. But hers was the last friendly face we saw. A few miles out from Vegas, we passed into Fiend territory. First we saw the corpses of NCR troops, hung by their necks from the roof of an old gas station. Then they came at us.

I used a confused brahmin as cover against laser fire, while Veronica battled a half-naked woman wielding a baseball bat, so high on chems she didn't seem to feel any pain. Then they sent out an enormous man with a flamethrower, and we fought him as fireballs roared past our heads. Next they released a pack of dogs. I took out my new sniper rifle to pick off more Fiends from a distance, and a woman's head exploded as she stepped right in front of the scope. A couple of the women were wearing well-maintained and practical armour in our sizes, so we stripped the bodies and took them for ourselves.

Finally, we reached the outer walls of North Vegas, and followed them around to the entrance of Freeside. A lot of the buildings there were rubble, and crime was rampant. The residents there policed themselves. Children armed with knives chased a giant mutated rat up and down the street. A thug pulled a switchblade on Veronica, no doubt seeing her pretty young face and assuming her an easy target. She left his shattered body embedded in a junked car. I didn't bother to check for a pulse. Another man ushered me down a dark alleyway to show me something: a dead body between two dumpsters. He pulled a sledgehammer on me, and I shot him three times in the chest. His buddies were already closing in for the kill behind me, but Veronica was closing in for the kill behind them. We left four bodies in the alleyway and continued on towards the Strip.

It was getting dark and the streets weren't safe, so we ducked into the only brightly-lit building in the district: the strangely-named School of Impersonation. It was the home base of a street gang called the Kings, who run the Freeside area and control its water supply. The Kings are a strange bunch: they all wear leather jackets and speak in strange, forced accents. I believe they worship some kind of Pre-War celebrity. Their leader is simply called the King, and he's an amiable enough man. He has an unusual dog named Rexie, whose brain is visible through a transparent glowing dome on his head. As one of his men performed a song on stage, the King offered me a job: investigating why a local bodyguard named Orris was getting so many repeat customers, and taking business away from his men. He wants me to hire Orris to get a closer look at him, even gave me 200 caps for the hiring fee. I'll look into this before I leave town again; it's in my best interests to be on good terms with local gangs.

After a couple of beers, we moved on. The streets had quietened down. When we made it to the gates that connected Freeside to the Strip, we saw a woman try to sneak through… and for the three Mk II Securitrons stationed there to gun her down in a second, blowing her legs clean off with their rocket launchers. I haven't forgotten that I gave Mr. House the keys to hundreds, if not thousands, of these things. Thankfully, they permitted Veronica and myself to pass. House must have given us an exemption.

And so at last, weary from walking and fighting all day, we arrived back at the Lucky 38. Riding the lift to the High-Roller Suite, I was relieved to see that Boone had made it back in one piece: he was passed out in one of the beds. Veronica collapsed into one herself, while I filled a bathtub with hot water and sat soaking in silence for an entire hour, letting the events of the last week wash off of me. Now I'm laid in my luxurious bed, fighting the urge to fall asleep as I finish this entry. Like I said, it's Heaven. It's good to have these moments, here and there, between the harsh realities of the world outside.

I might spend a few days in Vegas to rest and recharge before I get back on the road. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

[ratralsis]

I keep looking for Tina. She slept under the recliner in my living room a lot, especially in the warmer months, and it was her favorite spot for the last month or so. So when I'd roll up my exercise mat after my morning workouts, or when I'd go to do my physical therapy exericses in the evening, she'd often come out from under the recliner and see me. In the morning, it was because she wanted food. In the evenings, it was because she wanted me to pet her.

When I worked out this morning, I kept looking to the recliner, even checking under it once, to see if she was there. She won't ever be there again.

At lunch, I packed her remaining thyroid medication into my backpack and walked to her regular vet, which is only a ten-minute walk from my house. The technician who greeted me said she was sorry for my loss.

"Heard about that, huh?" I asked.

"Lap of Love always calls us," she explained.

"Well," I said, and I placed my backpack on the floor in front of the desk. I retrieved four bottles of pills. Two were completely full, with 60 pills each of 5.0mg and 2.5mg of Felimazole, and the other two were partially empty. "Tina doesn't need these anymore."

"These are to be donated?" she asked me.

"Or disposed of," I said. I wanted to act casually, but I could hear in my voice that I was starting to choke up and cry again. "I don't care either way. But seeing them on my counter this morning damn near broke me. Max doesn't need them, and if he ever does, I'll buy more."

She told me again that she was so sorry for my loss, and told me to have a nice day as I turned to leave.

"Thank you," I said. "You, too."

Max looked for her, too, under the recliner. He sniffed the carpet around where she usually slept, paused, then walked away. It's a day-old smell of a cat whose smells are all at least a day old, now.

The box were Tina liked to stand when I played with Max is still there. Only Tina ever used that box. Max never did. Never does. Should I get rid of it? I suppose I should, eventually.

I slept for six uninterrupted hours last night, from around 10:30 PM until 4:30 AM, when Max woke me by laying down under my arm like he very rarely does. He doesn't like sharing the bed with Tina, you see. But he doesn't have to now. Now he finally has me all to himself, and he's taking advantage of that fact today.

It was the longest amount of time I've ever slept in one go in this house, since I moved here in March of 2018 with the two cats. Study after study has shown that co-sleeping, either with pets or even a spouse, is terrible for your sleep. If all you want is better quality sleep, you're better off sleeping in separate beds and separate rooms.

But I'd trade every good night of sleep I'll ever get from here on out if it meant Tina could have stayed healthy forever and kept waking me up by clawing my face, demanding I pet her at 1:30 AM or that I roll off of my side and onto my back so she could curl up under my arm again. I can't say I ever got used to her doing that, but I did at least stop reacting by trying to hit her or grab her.

Let me be clear: she really did claw my face while I slept. She did it slowly and carefully, too. She'd lift up one front paw and gently scrape her claws on my forehead, or on my nose, or, once, she reached under my chin and scraped upward. That one surprised me.

She'd claw my legs when I sat at my computer trying to work, too. She wanted to be pet, or brushed, so she'd claw me. Sometimes she'd just sit and do nothing, trusting that I'd eventually pet her or brush her anyway. I could always tell when she came into the room, because she'd be licking her lips from having just eaten something or she'd sneeze or cough or otherwise make a disgusting old woman sound. She also walked loudly, so, even with earplugs in, I could usually hear her enter the room at night when I was in bed. She weighed 6 pounds or less for the last three years of her life, but she stomped her feet when she walked. She had an incredibly loud walk. I don't know if it was deliberate. I imagine not.

She was a terrible cat. She always smelled bad. It's one of the reasons I brushed and pet her so much. She stopped cleaning herself regularly years ago, when her joints started to ache. But I kept her clean enough that I really only smelled her if I brought her within an inch of my nose, and, really, at that point, it's my fault and not hers.

She had health problems for most of her life, starting with ear infections when she was only a few years old that left her with permanently sensitive ears. She had very large ears. They itched a lot, but if I scratched them, she'd always shake her head vigorously. In her last couple of years, she'd shake her head so hard that she'd lose her balance.

She'd drool, sometimes, when she slept. She'd lay her head down on me and when she got up there'd be a wet spot there. That, thankfully, stopped as she got older.

She would run and hide from me when I wanted to play or pet her, and only emerge again when she wanted to be pet. It made those moments when I could pet her or old her, or when she climbed onto the bed to sleep next to me, feel that much more special.

Before I even had a bed, back when I slept on a futon in an apartment with just me and her, she'd still walk back and forth over my body at night at least once or twice, purring like a gas-powered lawnmower. She had a horrible purr. It was this loud, wheezing noise, unlike any other cat I've known. I wondered for a long time if she was unhealthy because of it, before I decided that it was probably fine. She made it to 18 years old, so I'd say it was.

She'd wheeze and purr her terrible purr and it would lull me to sleep. I loved the sound of it. It meant she was happy. She was relaxed. She was never a high-strung cat, but she was easily annoyed, and hard to please. When I could make her happy, it was the best feeling in the world. The feeling of her resting her chin on me was the best that there was.

Sometimes, I'd be able to convince both cats to relax on the bed with me at the same time. I would think of those moments as the happiest in my life, even when they were happening. "This is it," I'd think. "Winning at bedtime."

I'm glad I had Tina in my life for as long as I did. 18 years is a long time, a good long time, and I don't have any regrets about it. I wish I could have had more, but I was already so greedy in wanting that much.

I dug through my hard drives and found these, which I believe are the oldest photos of her that I ever took, from January of 2008. She would have just turned two years old. This is pre-smartphone technology, here, folks. This isn't even a fliphone. It's just a slide-open phone with a shitty camera, but of the first twelve photos I ever took with a phone, four are of Tina. I still have this bed, by the way, or at least the frame. The mattress and box spring have been replaced.

Here she is from April 15 of this year, at her oldest and skinniest, sitting on the arm of my sofa for reasons known only to her. It's the best photo I have of her gorgeous eyes. The most beautiful eyes of any cat I've ever seen, even at 89 years old. They were the deepest, most brilliant shade of green, and it simply does not photograph right. Even in this photo, they look more yellow than they did in real life.

That was her, and how I'll always remember her: as my horrible, stinky old woman, who clawed my face and yelled at me when I had a food bowl in my hand because she wanted it on the floor and who purred like a chainsaw in my ear at night, and who had the softest fur and the prettiest eyes and who let me hold her like a baby, even though she'd always growl at me when I did that to her.

She was simply the best.

I'll probably share more photos in coming days, but I cried less today than I did yesterday, and that trend will likely continue, too.

Sorry to bother you twice about my dead cat like this.

Actually, no, I'm not. Fuck you. She was a big part of my life, and I miss her.

[secret-kpoplibrary]

Inspiring Romance Pt. 2

Pairing: Yoongi x Plus-sized Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: just them quarrelling- arrogant Yoongi

Genre: not quite angst but not really fluff either- Yoongi is obnoxious lol

Summary: You spent years happily taking care of an old man who surprisingly leaves you a huge gift when he passes. To your surprise, this gift has brought his grandson to your doorstep. Unfortunately, his grandson is one frustratingly arrogant piece of work and now thanks to his grandfather you're stuck with him for three months. You're sure his grandfather rolling in his grave watching the two of you fight every day and as much as you'd like to get along with him for his grandad's sake- he just makes it so hard to like him that you think you'll strangle him before he leaves this place. There's simply no way this could be worse.

***

"Y/n my dear girl, you've been so good to me the last few years." Mr. Min had sighed, gently patting the back of your hand.

"I'm just doing my job." You'd shaken your head in response.

"Nonsense- you've always gone above and beyond for me. I want you to know how much I appreciate your help."

"Well, Mr. Min if not for you I wouldn't know who I truly was. You've been so kind to teach me about us."

"You deserve to know. And look how it's helped you, you've got friends who I'm sure will help long after our paths separate."

"Mr. Min-"

"I know I give you a hard time, but having you around has made the last few years better than I could've hoped for in old age." He smiled at you assuredly.

You sigh to yourself as you pack up some of Mr. Min's things. You don't know what to do with any of it really. You don't have a way to contact his grandson and you're not quite ready to start giving things away. For now, you've decided to pack some things up and leave them in his bedroom. You figure there are enough rooms in the house that you can leave his otherwise undisturbed. The sound of aggressive knocking at the front door pulls you out of your thoughts. You head downstairs and by the time you swing the door open whoever is outside has switched from knocking to abusing the doorbell. When you open the door a man with platinum blonde hair and shades is scowling on the porch. He lets out a low whistle as he takes in your appearance.

"Damn." The stranger breathes out.

"Can I help you with something?" You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Maybe." He smirks, leaning against the doorframe.

"I don't have time for this." You roll your eyes stepping back to close the door.

"Look, my grandfather owns this estate. In fact, that's the reason I'm here. He gave it to some twit in his will and I need to talk to the guy about it so, do you know where I can find him?" He straightens up.

"Ah- you must be Yoongi then." You muse.

"You've got me at a disadvantage sweets, you know who I am, and- I've no idea who you are." He says with a chuckle.

"Hi. I'm the twit your grandfather gave this house to." You say flatly.

"A woman?!"

"Last I checked, yeah." You cross your arms.

"A pretty thing like you was with my pops and he didn't know you were a gold digger?" Yoongi's eyebrow quirks up high enough to peek out from behind his shades.

"Oh my god think with the thing between your ears and not the thing between your legs! I was not dating your grandfather I was his caretaker you moron." You scoff.

"Moron?!" 

"That's what I said. You're wearing sunglasses not earplugs."

"Since when did my granddad have a caretaker?"

"Your cousin Lisa arranged it years ago."

"Why would my cousin get my grandad a caretaker?"

"Because her mother- was primarily taking care of him until she fell sick so Lisa wanted to make sure he was still taken care of since for some reason no one trusted you to look after him yourself." You say.

"You don't know me or my family." He snaps. You shrug,

"Just what your grandad and cousin told me. And I'll tell you that the fact you didn't show your face here until he died and you learned he left you nothing- doesn't really reflect well on you." You say.

"I'll remind you again that you do not know me. So I suggest you watch your accusations."

"I can assure you that getting to know you is nowhere on my list of desires. I'm simply looking after the estate that's now under my care and here you are at the doorstep. I took care of your grandfather, the man who raised you, for years and never saw you. You didn't even show up to his funeral. Now you're here for what? To demand that I allow you to fund the lavish lifestyle your granddad clearly no longer wanted to support in his death." You scoff.

"I expected to deal with someone arrogant-"

"I would hope you expect to deal with yourself every day." You cut him off.

"Excuse me?"

"Showing up to your deceased grandfather's estate to demand the decisions of his will be altered in your favor and starting off by insulting the very person you hope to sway is a level of arrogance I've never seen in person. I'd commend you but nothing about your behavior deserves praise and something tells me your ego is already far too big." You move to shut the door and Yoongi presses his hand against the door to stop you.

"We should discuss this properly. Perhaps I could stay for dinner? I did come all this way after all." Yoongi offers you a slight smirk.

"I know your grandfather would be heartbroken if I slammed this door in your face like I want to. So, I'm going to call your granddad's lawyer. Maybe she can offer you some insight seeing as I didn't make the decisions here your grandfather did."

"I don't need you to call his lawyer. I'm not looking for insight. All I need is for you to give me what is mine."

"If it were yours you would have it. Now wouldn't you? You can stand here huffing on the porch or you can come inside. I'm calling the lawyer because I don't get paid for your nonsense." You turn on your heel and walk off to grab your cellphone from Mr. Min's room. When you return downstairs the front door is closed so you assume Yoongi is somewhere in the house but don't bother to check as you dial Mr. Min's family lawyer.

"Hello?" The lawyer picks up quickly.

"Miss. Woo! Hi, this is y/n. I inherited Mr. Min's prospects, we spoke a few days ago." You say pacing around the parlor where you've taken the call.

"Yes I remember. Hi, how are you?" She asks kindly.

"I cannot even begin to answer that right now. This is- a bit odd I'm sure. I was just wondering if you would be able to stop by the house anytime soon? Mr. Min's grandson is here." You explain.

"Really? His grandson is there? Will he be around tomorrow? I'd come tonight it's just- it's a bit of a far drive to make this house call at the end of my day."

"I'm sure he can wait. I wouldn't want to disrupt your schedule with his demands. I understand this is probably unusual."

"I can assure you weirder things have happened in my career. I'll see you in the morning then?"

"Yes. Thank you, have a good night Miss. Woo." You say hanging up the phone with a sigh.

"Was that the lawyer?" You jump and turn at the sound of Yoongi's voice behind you. When did he get here?

"Shit- you scared me. Yes, it was the lawyer." You mutter.

"I wasn't trying to scare you. I was just walking around and I saw you in here."

"Yes that was the lawyer. She'll come in the morning." You sigh.

"The morning? Did you tell her it was urgent?!" Yoongi frowns.

"No I didn't because it's not. She's on the other side of town the drive is nearly an hour and it's already five which means she'd have to make the trip in rush hour. This is absolutely not worth disrupting her entire evening. The house is big enough that I'm sure we can manage to not kill each other for one night."

"I want this taken care of quickly." He tells you pointedly.

"Trust me I have no desire to be around you longer than necessary. You can spend the whole night sulking in your childhood bedroom- or in your granddad's room if you'd like. I'm going to make dinner in a couple of hours, you're welcome to join me if you can manage to be civil long enough to eat." You roll your eyes. Yoongi glares at you as you brush past him. You know Mr. Min was always extremely kind but- would he expect you to extend this much kindness to the spoiled brat? He did raise him but how could someone raised by him turn out so off anyway.

"Everyone deserves kindness y/n." You say quietly to yourself the words your mom has always said to you. You don't see Yoongi for the next few hours, which you expected and can't complain about. When Yoongi walks into the kitchen while you're finishing dinner you glance over your shoulder at the sound of his footsteps.

"You decided to join me for dinner." You muse.

"Well the other option is to starve for the night." He bites back.

"Want me to make you a plate?" You ask.

"I will make my own plate thank you."

"Worried I'm gonna poison you?" You joke.

"Poison me?" Yoongi looks at you suspiciously.

"It wouldn't do me any good. I already have all the things you know." You say.

"I wasn't even thinking you would poison me until you suggested it." Yoongi frowns making his dinner plate and sitting at the island.

"I was making a joke. Although thinking that you and your granddad would have similar senses of humor was hopeful at best." You shrug leaning against the counter opposite Yoongi.

"My grandfather would've laughed at that joke?" Yoongi scoffs.

"Yes actually. He totally would have. He found humor in most things." You muse. There's a long pause in the conversation before either of you manages to say something else.

"How long- did you say you took care of my granddad?" Yoongi asks.

"Like six, almost seven years. It was a while."

"So- I gather you were pretty close?"

"Not right away. He wasn't too stoked about having a caretaker really. He was polite but a bit grumbly. I guess I kinda grew on him." You shrug.

"You must've for him to- put you in his will." Yoongi mutters.

"I didn't expect him to do that."

"So you've mentioned." He huffs. You roll your eyes and finish your meal without saying really anything else to Yoongi. His time here is clearly not going to be something you can make the most of. You'll simply allow him to spend all night huffing into silence if that's what he wishes to do. Once dinner is done you wash up planning to leave but before you exit the kitchen Yoongi says one more thing.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"My room. I have some things to do. I was packing stuff in your grandfather's room before you got here, but if you want to sleep there I'll finish packing later." You say.

"You have a room here?" Yoongi frowns.

"Of course I do. I spent the night here regularly to take care of your granddad." You shrug.

"Oh. Okay."

"Goodnight." You say leaving Yoongi in the kitchen. You spend a couple of hours doing little things in your room until you're tired enough to go to sleep.

The next morning you get ready and even have breakfast without any sign of Yoongi. You wonder if he's left the house for some reason or another. If he's gone, he's obviously not obligated to tell you but since you called the lawyer to come all the way out here you hope he's around when she arrives. If not you have no way of contacting him and you won't force her to wait around for him. When there's eventually a knock on the door you answer it quickly.

"Hi Miss. Woo!" You smile.

"Hi y/n. It's good to see you again."

"You as well, thank you for making the trip out here. Come on in I'll just- call for Yoongi and we can get this over with." You say.

"Alright." She nods.

"Yoongi! The lawyer is here!" You shout up the stairs. "I honestly have no idea where he is, haven't seen him all morning." You tell Miss. Woo with a shrug.

"Well I'm sure he heard you."

"Oh, where are my manners? While we wait did you want anything? Coffee, tea, water maybe?" You ask ushering her into the kitchen.

"Just a glass of water will do thank you." She smiles. You pour her a glass of water and sit beside her at the island until Yoongi walks in about five or so minutes later. He's dressed at least, though he clearly just got out of bed.

"You're the lawyer?" Yoongi points at Miss. Woo as he walks in.

"Yes, hi. You must be Mr. Min's grandson yes?" She smiles.

"Yoongi, yeah. I see you two have already started without me."

"All I did was give her water. Since you're the one with complaints, it doesn't make sense to start without you." You roll your eyes.

"We haven't started anything. In fact, now that you're here, why don't you tell me what the issue is?" Miss. Woo says.

"I am his only grandson- I mean he raised me and yet supposedly he left pretty much everything to a woman I never even met?!"

"Actually that's not quite what happened. Your grandfather did leave you something, though there are- conditions."

"If my grandfather left me something why was I not told?" Yoongi crosses his arms.

"Well, Mr. Min specifically instructed me not to reach out to you." Miss. Woo says.

"That doesn't make any sense." Yoongi says. Miss. Woo hands Yoongi a sealed envelope.

"Here, I was told to give you this." She tells him. Yoongi opens the letter and scans the words quickly.

"Are you kidding me?!" Yoongi scoffs.

"What is it?" You frown.

"What did you tell my granddad?" Yoongi glares at you shoving the letter in your face.

"Me? What are you talking about? I didn't do anything!" You blink at him.

"No way my grandfather decided this on his own." Yoongi huffs.

My boy,

we've grown apart in recent years. You so desperately wish to separate yourself from who you are. I'm sure your travels have faired you well but I can't continue in death to allow you to abandon all responsibility to wander aimlessly. I've grown to trust y/n implicitly since meeting her and I think she is just what you need. 

"Just what he needs?! What the hell does that mean?!" You frown.

"My grandfather is trying to set us up. Keep reading." Yoongi huffs.

You're both incredibly stubborn but I expect you to give it a real shot. You might find I know more than you think. You need direction in your life, it's time to settle down and be an adult. Yoongi, if you live with y/n and get a job for three months, there's money for you that y/n will give you access to at the end of that time.

"Wait I didn't- Miss. Woo why didn't you tell me about this when you were here the first time?" You frown.

"Mr. Min had very specific instructions." She shrugs apologetically.

"This is ridiculous. I am not going along with this. I just want what belongs to me. I'm his grandchild not this woman." Yoongi says.

"Yoongi if you want to contest the will by all means do it. I won't fight you for it, this stuff isn't important to me." You roll your eyes.

"If it's not important to you then why won't you just hand it over?!"

"Because your grandfather gave it to me and I would feel guilty for ignoring his final wishes." You say.

"Oh great make me seem like the asshole."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? You seeming like an asshole isn't my fault. You just are one." You scoff.

"Are you always so judgy?"

"Are you kidding me? You called me a twit like- five minutes into meeting me."

"I didn't know it was you!" 

"As if that makes it any better that you just insult strangers on the basis of your assumed inheritance." You roll your eyes.

"I don't mean to interrupt but these are the conditions your grandfather left you Yoongi. Are you planning on taking the deal or contesting?" Miss. Woo asks looking between the both of you. Yoongi looks at you with a hard glare.

"Contest if you fucking want. I can't believe Mr. Min's grandson is so ridiculously materialistic." You scoff leaving the kitchen. You wish Mr. Min had given you any sort of warning that this was going to happen. I mean, he'd talked about his grandson sometimes but to think he wanted you to date him?! A heads up would have been so nice. Granted it's not like he could've prepared you for the headache Yoongi's giving you now.

***

Part 2/???

Tagged Users: @schokoshaker @tarahardcore

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

Text ID: A text image. The top is in bold black on white and reads "I took 2 500 mg THC edibles and hour ago and it's only getting worse. What do I do to get rid of it? I'm super stoned."

The reply is below this, standard black on white text, and reads "Bro I'm so sorry for you. Just go outside now and hold on to the grass as tight as you can so you don't fall off the Earth. This is about to be one of those hard Life lesson."

/end text ID

Y'all...I can't manage more than 25 mg, 50 mg makes me vomit, and 100 mg had me near comatose. This dude is a fucking amateur. Those high dose edibles are meant to be cut into parts, not taken all at once. Start at a smaller dosage! Learn your limits! Also, the effects are about as gradual as a brick to the brain. One minute you're minding your own business and then it hits all at once. When it hits, watch a favorite movie or show; it'll be like watching it for the first time, you'll pick upon details you didn't understand before. Watch a bad film, and it may end up being tolerable or good while stoned (this is the only way I can watch the new Dune film because of a long list of reasons). Science and nature documentaries hit different when stoned as well.

Edible stoned is a vastly different experience than smoking weed. Your liver processes it, unlike when inhaling it. It's more of a full-body experience. I know folks who've been smoking weed for decades and cannot tolerate edibles. I'm the opposite, partially due to asthma, but also because I genuinely feel better on edibles (chronic pain, chronic nausea, severe insomnia).

If you wanna try edibles, but would rather get samples instead of spending a lot, here's my referral code for Moonwlkr. This is 100% legal in most US states because it's made from hemp, not weed. You can see the list here to determine if it's legal for it to be shipped to you. They have sample packs, so check those out if you want to and if it's legal for you to do so. If you have medical conditions or on meds you're not sure will conflict with the products, talk to your doctor/prescriber. My neurologist hates all things THC and CBD, but confirmed it's safe for me to use.

Start at a low fucking dose. Please. As low as 5 mg, wait an hour, see what happens. Work up from there, and WAIT between doses. If you go too high, you'll feel the Earth's rotation, will hallucinate like fuck, and your grip on reality will become questionable. I use 25 mg of CBD to 5 mg THC (combination edible) most nights. On bad nights, it's 12.5 mg THC to 12.5 mg CBD (combination edible). I'll watch films I've seen a million times, or read a book, or haul my ass to bed when the effects kick in.

If you're new to edibles, have someone with you that can help you cope. Ideally, someone who's experienced and knows what to do when you get funky. If anxiety or panic sets in, lay on the floor (ideally with carpeting, a rug, or something soft beneath you) or grass. Just focus on the way your body is experiencing gravity. Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, and acknowledge what you're feeling. Don't focus on anything but the way the air and gravity feels. Reduce stimulation with a blindfold and earplugs or sound-cancelling headphones. I'm autistic and I have ADHD. Over stimulation is just as bad as being under stimulated. When I find myself overwhelmed by the effects, I go to bed. Lay on my back, experience the mattress, the texture of the sheets, weight of the blanket, and the sound of my cats purring (they loves snuggling in bed with me).

Oh, and take a shit BEFORE the effects hit. The reason you get munchies is due to your stomach relaxing. That same effect will make it virtually impossible to shit due to the muscles being too relaxed to move anything. Have a good thorough bowel movement before you have an edible. Munchies are 100x more intense with edibles than they are with smoking.

You're welcome.