#I'll never shut up about this podcast ever

[ari194]

First of all, just major spoiler warnings for the wolf 359 finale. Second of all this is gonna be a long post of just all the thoughts while I listen to the finale.

God I love the beginning with Cutter and Pryce like just that whole story time back and forth is so so good

Adding Hera and Eiffel's first meeting also hurts so good I can't. Just the little smile you can hear in Eiffel's chuckle and voice after Hera's "good boy" and the immediate establishment of them being partners in crime from the get go, just not even five minutes of knowing each other and they were already breaking rules together, words cannot describe how much I adore them

"These people have taken our lives away from us" line is so good, Renee Minkowski is t h e leader and I love her with my whole heart. She could rally me to do anything

"your dad loves you, your dad loves you so much" those are his last words to his daughter while he remembers her. fuck fuck f u c k. Christ this shit hurts. I love this podcast so much

Eiffel and Minkowski getting to laugh together one last time before everything goes down is so so good

"Goddammit Renee don't do this" and my heart b r e a k s

The fucking score in this episode is so so excellent the dramatic piano and just the everything about the pacing of the music is executed masterfully Alan Rhodey is a god

Dougie no, stop no self deprecating in this household. Also holy fuck just got hit with the "I can't do this" from Eiffel holy im being devastated with every second that goes by, we love parallels in this household

"you're just going to have to trust me"

"with my life darling, with my life" I love them so much eiffera has my entire heart forever 😭

Eiffera again hitting me with the "I can do this" "Of course you can darling" just her being able to confidently state her abilites and Eiffel not questioning her for a second, complete faith in Hera and always supporting her without hesitation.

God I love Kepler God I love him so much his reveal is everything his last lines are everything his last act is everything I can't I can't I can't.

"The beautiful thing is, I don't need you to be" is just such a fucking good line I will never ever ever get over it.

Also, harpoon?!

It's the fact that all I had to hear was the sound of the mind sweep and I started to completely come apart. I'll always love and hate that they didn't let Doug say his last words to Hera.

Wolf 359 will always always always be my absolute favorite piece of media to exist ever. Nothing will ever top it and I will never be able to love something as deep as I love Wolf 359. Just the fact that they saved the world they saved all of humanity and they would have all died with no one ever knowing a thing if it wasn't for Jacobi, Wolf 359 could have so easily ended as a tragedy and still been a good and wonderful piece of media but it's the fact that they got their somewhat bitter mostly sweet happy ending that sets it apart. It's the question of what makes the self, what makes a person themselves, it's that even while bawling your eyes out there will still be lines that make you laugh through it, it's every heartbreak throughout the show and the finale finally having the payoff of getting to hear them be safe and go home. They're battered, wounded, and bruised but they're alive and they are all going to start again. It's the last scene being our original 3 voice actors and the fact that when Doug goes "spending time with you two was the best damn thing to ever happen to him" there was never any doubt that he was talking about Minkowski and Hera.

I will never be over Wolf 359, and I will always be grateful I stumbled upon it and had the chance to fall in love with it. Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk I'm gonna go sob some more for a few hours.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Follow You Anywhere 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, controlling behavoiour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’re online existence threatens to leak into your real life.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Note: slept like crap last night but we got this.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

Sy is nice enough but you're still put off by your meeting. He carries a bag gallantly to a large black truck and pulls open the back door to place it on the seat. He turns to you to take the next. You hug it, wondering if you should settle for half your load and run for the hills.

Still, you can't help but feel beholden to him. The pin on his hat and the way he looks at you. He just seems a bit oblivious to how unsettling his approach Is.

He takes the bag and you just stare. You feel hollow and your ears are on fire. You just keep going along with this and that voice in your head is screaming at you to stop.

“Here,” he shuts the back door and pulls the passenger's open.

You look at him then into the truck. Are you crazy!? You can't just go with this man in his vehicle…

You grab onto the interior of the door and climb up into the truck. He touches your lower back gently as if to help you. You drop into the seat and thank him, trying not to let your fear bubble over.

He shuts the door and your stomach plummets. Are you being kidnapped? Are you letting yourself be abducted? Oh, you're gonna end up on a podcast.

He gets in the driver's side as you sink into the horror movie unfolding in your head. You look over at him as he unfolds a pair of dark sunglasses and puts them on to block out the sun's glare. He's so calm it's frightening. He knows exactly what's coming and you can't even begin to imagine the sheer terror awaiting you.

Maybe a nice basement cell. Worse, a field and a hole six feet deep. Your heart feels like it's stopped. Your vision is hazy and your ears are ringing.

The truck rolls backwards and lurches you back to reality. You blink and look over the hood. Sy pulls out of the spot smoothly and cranks the wheel to straighten out.

“Y'okay, sweetie?” He asks as he comes to the exit.

“Mmm, yeah,” you eke out as you grip the inside of the door. “I'm all good I just… I never expected to meet a follower.”

“Yeah, I uh… you know, I only ever dreamed it. Being over there, the days… well you don't know if you'll see the next, or even the night,” he lets out a deep breath, “I didn't put real thought into it til I got back and… it's so fu– so, er, lonely, you know? You're the only thing that was the same.”

“Oh,” your cheeks twitch as you attempt a smile, “that's very sweet. I… you know, I kinda just do the streams to get my thoughts out, it's not really… I don't know.”

“I like it. It's peaceful,” he drives down the street as the passing buildings spike your concern. “Don't get much of that.”

“Sure, I… I can imagine.”

“Hey, if it means keeping sweet things like you safe, I'll do it,” he chuckles. 

Before you can respond, he slams on the breaks and his tires skid. A car in front of him flashes their tail light. He snarls and you watch the fury furrow above his brows.

“You fu–” his booming voice catches and he bites down on his words, growling instead. “Ugh,” he exhales, “that guy… coulda got hurt…”

“Yeah,” you clasp your hands together.

"Or he coulda hurt us!" He throws a hand up.

“That was close," you mewl, "but we're okay, right?”

He inhales and looks at you. He closes his eyes and nods, “you're right, sweetie.”

You bite down, fighting not to show your fear. There's something in him that threatens to boil over. You can see it in the vein popping out along his forehead.

“So, I know a place, they got good bacon, probably some good french toast,” he leans on the pedal again, “get some whip cream on top?”

“Well, I appreciate it but I really should get home,” you say gently, “but maybe another time–”

“It's my treat, sweetie,” he insists, “it's been a long time since I got to sit down to eat with a pretty girl.”

“Oh,” is all you can muster. You don't want to push him. You know the tenuous tightrope walk. Just do what he wants, keep him happy.

“I didn't say… you look real nice today. That's my favourite of yours,” he keeps one hand on the wheel and points towards you, “the overalls.”

“Thank you,” you murmur and twist your fingers, letting out a rocky chuckle.

“So cute when you do that,” he rumbles and rests his hand on the corner of your seat, “that lil laugh.”

“Um, yeah, sorry, I… it's  a habit.”

“Nah, I like it,” he assures you and rescinds his hand to flip his signal on.

He turns into another plaza and you see the bright painted sign above a diner. A white cup on a teal banner. You've never been there but you pass it on the bus. He pulls up right at the front of the lot before the windows. You can see people inside as waitress carry trays between tables.

“I don't know about you but I'm starving,” he drawls and undoes his seat belt.

You sit in the seat, paralysed and helpless. He comes around your side and you click the button on your own belt. You turn and he offers his hand to help you get down. When you ignore it, he grabs your arm to ease your landing.

He swings the door shut and you shuffle past him. You have no choice but to keep going. Get through this and you'll go home and block him. Maybe even delete your whole account.

He reaches around you as you come up to the door and pulls it open. Be sweeps you inside with his arm and follows you through. A waitress in a black blouse greets you and you look to Sy over your shoulder.

“Table, thank you,” he says.

She leads you to a table for two and you sit, arms crossed as you rock nervously. He orders coffee as he slides off his sunglasses and the waitress turns to you. You push yourself straight. 

“Um, chocolate milk, please,” you request.

“Right away, hon,” she leaves you with the menus as you unfold your arms and pick at your thumbnail.

“So cute, chocolate milk,” he comments as he takes the laminated menu from the table, “oh, look,” he flicks it, “French toast. Can get berries with it.”

You look down and lean forward to see past the sheen of the plastic sheath. You narrow in on the French toast but your stomach rolls. You're too nervous to be hungry.

“Yeah, looks good,” you say, “um, I gotta use the bathroom.”

“Sure,” he smiles as he browses the menu.

You get up, wobbling slightly before you get your balance. You search for the sign to the restrooms and head down the short hall behind the kitchen. You dip inside and lock yourself in a stall.

You really can't afford to abandon your groceries. Worse, you don't dare anger him. He's nice but you don't know how nice he'd be if you ran out on him. Just get yourself together, it's just breakfast. You'll get through it then try to forget your stupidity.

You should've known better but you didn't have enough followers to worry  it never even occurred to you but it should be. It's your own fault.

You take a few minutes to mellow out. You don't quite get there but the longer you stay, the longer he has to get suspicious. No, you're not going to run. You don't think you'll get very far.

You come back out and return to the table. As you sit, he sips his coffee and his eyes crinkle at you. Your chocolate milk is waiting beside a wrapped straw. As you tear through the paper, you sense him watching you.

He clinks his cup down, "ordered your french toast. Extra sugar... since you're so sweet."

You issue a brittle chuckle. You stare at him. He's taken his cap off, revealing a shaved head above his thick beard. His shoulders are broad, all of him is. He's so thick and his arms are bulging with muscle beneath his tee shirt. His eyes are a brilliant shade of blue, a contrast to the rest of his rough exterior.

"You don't gotta be shy," his voice gristle in his throat as he leans forward, elbows on the table. "What do ya wanna know?"

"Pardon?" You croak.

"Well, I know everything about you," he grins, "you barely know me."

You gulp, wavering like you've been knocked upside the head. You part your lips and peer around. His self-awareness if almost there but not quite.

"I..." you don't know what to say or ask or do. He toys with the handle of his coffee cup. "What do you take.... in your, uh, coffee?"

He chuckles, "really? Why's that? You planning to bring me coffee in the mornings?"

You meet his eyes again and he winks. You giggle and move your lips like a gasping fish.

"Teasing, ya, sweetie, I don't wanna rush you," he says, "I take it black, but I don't mind some cream on Sundays."

You nod, embarrassed, and poke your straw into your cup, leaning forward to slurp up the chocolate milk. His eyes linger on your lips as you do. You pull back and take a napkin to wipe your mouth.

"Erm... well, what... how did you... find my page?"

He sits back, gripping the edges of the table as he sighs, "I was just scrolling around but I'm starting to think it's something bigger than us, you know? I was goin' through it. I needed something and there you were, showin' off those new boots you got with the flower."

Flowers? You got those boots over a year ago. You remember that stream. He's been watching you that long.

"Oh, ha, right," you murmur.

"There aren't many people out there like you left, you know? I've seen the worst in people but in you, I saw the best," he explains, "the way you just take everything in. Looking at the flowers and the birds and... you just know how to appreciate life."

You smile and nod. What else can you do as the world crashes down? He was there yesterday. That blurry figure behind you in the photo, the shadow creeping just beyond your sight. You don't doubt it was him.

“I try, er…”

You sit back as the waitress approaches. She puts a plate before you, French toast with a side of fruit salad, sugar and whip on top of the bread. She lays down Sy's plate, mounded in eggs, home fries, sausage, and two types of bacon, with rye toast. You would guess that is just barely enough to fill him up.

“Dig in,” he says as he grabs his cutlery.

You sit forward and take your fork and knife. You cut into the eggy bread and stab the small triangle of the corner. As you raise your fork, Sy growls, “get some cream too, sweetie.”

You flinch but do as he says. You swipe the bread through the dolloped cream and shove it through your lips. You stare at your plate as you chew. You wish he wouldn't watch you. You don't like eating in front of others.

“Is it good?” He asks.

“Very,” you swallow and cover your mouth.

“Don't worry, I think it's cute you got cream on your lips,” he plucks up a piece of bacon with his fingers, “didn't get good fixings like this in the sh– over there,” he bites into the strip and chews.

“Yeah, I wouldn't think…” you twirl your fork nervously, “do you have to go back?”

“Mmm, not anytime soon. They're tryna get me on a desk,” he shrugs, “might be a good change but I don't know if I'm suited to it…” he tosses back the rest of the bacon, chewing thoughtfully, “but I'm about that age. Gotta settle down, so I figure, makes sense.”

“Right, right, yeah, fair,” you garble mindlessly.

“Besides, when you got someone at home, you don't wanna run back into the bull– into war,” he smirks.

You take another bite, even as your stomach churns. You don't like how he's talking, as if you're together. As if he knows you. It's strange.

He scoops up a forkful of home fries and shovels them back. You can't fault his table manners, he was probably eating out of cans for the last few years. Not that you would say anything. You're much too scared for that.

You fall into a trance, focusing on the simple task of cutting into the toast, chewing but not tasting as your heart tamps behind your ears. You sense a shift and look up, your cheeks full of food as you make eye contact with Sy’s phone camera. You swallow painfully and nearly choke.

“What are you doing?” You squeak.

“For your Instagram,” he smiles, “I’ll send you the pics…” he frames his phone with both hands as he admires the screen, “you look so cute.”

You shudder and grip the knife and fork tight. You look back to the stack. You think you’ll ask for it to go. If you eat any more, you’re definitely going to be sick.

[weebsinstash]

Really like the idea of a yandere Vox who is so ride or die for his overconsumerist capitalist Musk-esque lifestyle UNTIL he sees it negatively affecting his darling and does a complete 180

like take that poly red string soulmate Vox x Reader x Alastor concept and, you've got Alastor KINDA warming up to technology and willing to watch TV and do other things with you but he's still not a fan of you being on your phone constantly and some of the video games and movies you consume. He's on the couch reading a paper and (affectionately) rolling his eyes as you and Vox take turns headshotting each other in a video game and hollering "hell yeah, suck my fucking dick!!"

Meanwhile Vox is just 200% chronically online and loving it until one day he asks you why you wear baggy clothes all the time and you're ever so casually replying "because my body is fucking icky, duh" and Vox has absolutely no idea what you're talking about until you break down on a tangent about it

I was watching a clip the other day where someone was pointing out that Marilyn Monroe was considered the 50s icon of beauty and there are plenty of photos with her with thick thighs or a visible belly pooch and, imagine Vox sitting there, the disbelieving 'are you joking?' smile falling off of his face as you just, go OFF, "why would I wear anything other than sweatpants? I have fucking CELLULITE VOX, I'll NEVER have leggings legs no matter how thin I am, and look at my hip dips, they're so fucking GROSS, and my butt isn't shaped right, I have banana rolls, and, do I have siren eyes or doe eyes?! Am I bunny cute or am I frog cute?! And look at how bad my facial balancing is! Ugh, where's my gua sha?! I'm so tired of being UGLY!!"

Later that week Alastor is looking up from his paper to see Vox just, slowly entering the room, sloooooowly shutting the door behind him, looking to his old friend, "so hey! Funny idea, stop me if you've heard this one before but, I was thinking we could uh, maybe take their phone away annnnnnnnnnd... not give it back?" and here's Alastor, "oh, funny story! So earlier today they asked me if I 'wouldn't like them anymore' if they got COSMETIC SURGERY, yeah, ON THEIR FACE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, so, naturally, I'm already one step ahead of you :)" as he just casually gestures to the smashed wifi router in the garbage can in the corner of the room

You just get home from work one day and Vox has his CRT head back on and you're told 'if you want to look something up online, you can use the desktop in the computer room, and only 3 hours of screen time' and it all but blasts you 15 years into the past 💀 no more nights where you're gaming for 5+ hours straight and ruining your sleep. No more skipping meals because you're hyperfocused and binge-watching an anime while also playing an idle game on your phone. No more Alastor and Vox finding out you're just smoking bowls for hours literally nonstop because you need some sort of extra stimulation while you doomscroll and watch 3 hour long roast reviews for shows you've never watched

Alastor catches you swiping through an app and you get a divisive video thrown in your face from some alpha dude bro podcast, "yeah, a real man knows how to protect his lady! She should be at home cooking and keeping the house clean, not running around like a tramp and doing dumb chick stuff! All women need to focus on is marriage and being good wives, you know, a TRADITIONAL relationship!" and Alastor is just, swiping that shit out of your hand, "he DOES have a bit of a point, repulsive as he is! I suppose I'll have to start looking at potential dwellings that can fit you, me, and, I SUPPOSE Vox too 🙄" and little do you know he's already got a cute little home in the 'burbs set up already. He's just... you know! Waiting for the right moment to let you and the annoying TV bastard know that you'll be moving! Maybe he'll just... wait until the day of! Nothing beats a fun surprise, right? ^^ he doesn't want either of you... trying to run away or anything after all haha!

[37-drc89]

painting with h. hyunjin

This week really did you and your boyfriend dirty. Everyday you would come home yawning, shoulders slump, complaining about how much you dream of getting into the bed. You find Hyunjin at your shared apartment, already grumpy, most likely splashed on the couch looking absolutely dead. You would just lay down on his back, nuzzling face into his hair. The drama king he is, Hyunjin would whine in fake pain, throwing you off of him, just to grab your tired body and lock it tightly in between his arms. Usually you fell asleep like this, having to rush yourself the morning after to take a shower and do everything people normally do after work. Monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday, they all looked like this, they all felt like world just chew you up and spit you out on the ground for no reason.

But today's friday. The only thing keeping you alive at work was thought of weekend starting, knowing that your boyfriend stays home with you for these two days and you can have him all to yourself. Maybe that's why you got just slightly disappointed when you found him sitting in front of a blank canva with all his painting set already on the table. Of course, you absolutely adored Hyunjin's artwork and watching him focused on his hobby was your favorite thing to look at, ever. You once spent four hours just admiring his relaxed face, eyes wandering around the canva and brushes making soft, comforting sounds swiping on it. Obviously, Hyunjin wouldn't be himself if he didn't complain about it, trying to move your face the other way or throwing random shirt at your head so you don't stare at him so deeply, but the truth is, he liked the attention. He would always pretend it annoys him, but he wouldn't change it for the world. However, today it's you who needs his attention. The whole day you've been thinking about being in his warm embrace and watching some scary movies or comedies. But you know Hyunjin values his private space, especially when he's creating things. You couldn't help but frown, only patting his shoulder softly as a greeting, not to interrupt him. You go to your shared bedroom and slump yourself on the bed, sighing into the pillow. You play some podcast and let yourself sink into the softness of the covers. Not even half an hour passed when you started tossing and turning in desperate need of your boyfriend's presence. You quietly make your way to the livingroom, the only sound coming from it is Hyunjin's calm playlist playing from the phone. His eyes don't catch you standing in the door frame, too focused on his progressing artwork.

"Hyune," you mumble something barely above the whisper, taking small steps towards his sitting figure. You start playing with the ends of his hair, scared that any more physical touch might distract him at the moment.

"Hm?" his attention immediately goes to you and your heart melts a little. He once told you, you're the only one he would ever pause working for, and that's true, he could never ignore you.

"Can I stay here with you for a second? I miss you," your arms carefully wrap themselves around his shoulders and your chin rests on top of his head. Hyunjin leans into your touch slightly, short chuckle leaving his mouth.

"Do you want to try painting with me, buttercup?" he asks looking up at you and your eyes go wider, taken aback by his offer.

"I can? Won't I disturb you?" in response he just grabs your hands and guide you in front of him, pulling you onto his lap. His chin finds its place on your right shoulder and he takes your hand, forcing a brush in between your fingers. Hyunjin guides your hand to the canva and you try to stop it with your own strength. Before you can manage to say "I'll ruin it", or "I don't want to force you to anything" he just grabs your head with his other hand and turns it, pressing his soft lips onto yours, succesfully shushing you. You melt into the kiss instantly, finally getting your desired attention. "Shut up," is the only thing he says after pulling away, sending you the warmest smile you've ever seen and you feel like every worry bothering you since last week washes away. So you let him guide your hand as he pleases, after some time letting it go, grabbing his own brush and painting along with you, making your shared masterpiece. He helps you with every unfortunate stain of paint or wrongly mixed colors, laughing it off, nothing but love burning in his eyes when your face gets flustered or angry at your mistakes. Hyunjin praises your part a lot, paying his attention into the smallest details, clearly impressed by the amount of effort you put into the painting.

After all, it's now hung above your shared bed, exposed like a masterpiece it is, for everyone to see. And Hyunjin has never been more proud of any of his artworks, no matter how good they looked. Because this one he created with you, with the love of his life.

masterlist

[tomssexdoll]

You said you wanted requests? Well, I wanted to request something then. Firstly, hello. Now, my request.

2008 Tom with a fem reader who is also part of a band and plays guitar just like him. They're like perfect for each other. But the reader is a bit introverted, so some of Tom's "fans" don't like her, etc.

Thanks :)

hellloo!!! tysm for the req love <3

PAIRINGS: Tom 2008 x Female reader CONTENT: FLUFF SYPNOSIS: Tom and Y/N are together and are both in the band Tokio hotel, they both play guitar. Y/N is always getting critisized by their fans, girls attacking her for her looks, personality and that she's slightly introverted. She doesn't listen to them but sometimes it gets to her, they make rumors about her on the daily but Tom loves her to bits and tells her not to listen to them and that they're jealous shes in his bed at the end of the day. A/N: this will be short and sweet :)

I'm in the band Tokio hotel, I play guitar along with my boyfriend. My best friends Bill, Gustav and Georg are also in it. Bill is the singer, Georg is the bassist and Gustav is the drummer. They are all super sweet and make me feel super welcome, we've been friends for years and only recently I joined the band because Bill needed extra help with the guitar.

I got with Tom a year after we became friends, we were 15 and it was like love at first sight.

A lot Toms fans HATE me, they talk so much shit about me for no reason, critizing every little thing, especially because I'm a little bit introverted. They say he could never be with someone as quiet as me, as fat or ugly as me. I never take it to heart but sometimes it hurts.

Me and Tom are in love, the love you find in movies, the corny type of love you wish you had in real life. He treats me like a queen, always boasting about me and bragging about how beautiful I am, of course the fans get mad at this but he always shuts it down, he's not afraid to stand up for me and it's the cutest thing ever.

One time on a podcast he was calling out the fans, saying how rude the fans can be and how it affects me sometimes. On their youtube channel and his facebook he posts short clips of me playing guitar, usually not realising he's filming. The comments blow up with hateful things but he always rolls his eyes when seeing them, deleting the really mean ones.

One of the really fucked up rumors is that I had cheated on him with Bill, they said it's weird how close I was to him and that I was probably fucking him behind Tom's back, they had the weirdest proof ever, some were photoshopped so poorly and some were really convincing, but he never believed them. He always laughed at it, the attempts to ruin our relationship were so weird.

Even though he's very extroverted and I'm a bit shy, we are perfect for each other. We enjoy almost the same things, eat the same foods, sleep perfectly, fuck perfectly, kiss perfectly. Sometimes to make the fans jealous I'll post pictures of us in bed or him kissing me.

[spaceorphan18]

Okay. The Kevin and Jenna thing.

Let's talk about it. Mostly, I'm going to repeat a lot of what I said : HERE. After listening to the clip, my thoughts are exactly what they were originally...

I'm going to guess, after the box scene stuff kinda was the straw that broke the camel's back, the producers finally went, hey guys -- we have a lot of unhappy Klaine fans, you need to address this. (And/or - probably and - they did get a lot of email about it.) So, they addressed the Klaine thing.

(As an aside - the transcript, for me, was exactly how I thought they'd sound, and listening to it confirmed it? Just putting that in the fwiw category.)

but anyway, like I said in my original thoughts on the whole thing -- I think I was correct in saying that Kevin and Jenna have been latching on to things they were a part of and they remember and kind of glossing over the rest of it. Layer into that -- they have a strong affection for Naya (and to Cory) who are both no longer with us, and even though we may think that Santana is terrible or Finn makes dumb decisions, that actor/character bleed does happen for them.

And I've always found that fair.

I've said it before, but, I think it's like when Darren decided to rewatch Never Been Kissed -- and he literally ended up fastfowarding through things that weren't related to the Kurt/Blaine story line. And he expressed fondness for Dot, etc, etc, but his memories were about his story line, and that's what he focused on.

And I think that's what Kevin and Jenna are doing, too.

Now, I will ding them with the fact that they are supposed to be being a little more professional about it (Darren was just doing it for fun) but from what I could tell based on my own experiences -- they only have 'x' amount of time in the studio, and just are not organized and proficient in the same way as -- say The Office Ladies or Pod Meets World are. So things are going to get glossed over -- and those things are things they have no emotional attachment to.

I don't think they realized they were doing it -- which is why they are finding it so funny now. I don't think there was any conspiracy behind it. And I don't think it was deliberate. I do think they're going to be ever so slightly asshole-ish about it going forward because they are more aware of it now. But I think everything they said on the podcast kind of goes back to what I said in my original post way back when.

That's my two cents.

(Also, another minor aside nitpick - they claimed that Ryan himself edited the box scene out of the episode which I find unlikely. I think the editor edited out because of time and... that's it. Kind of like they did with Santa Baby. I just think Kevin and Jenna were being salty about being called out on about a beloved deleted scene and wanted to dig in their heels a little there. But again, they weren't there on the fandom side, and they don't know.)

Alright I'll shut up now.

[thelaurenshippen]

Hi, I wanted to ask, what are your personal hc for tbs caracters after the canon timeline? like what is caleb doing with his ability and did sam leave the am and do joan and jackson ever happen or is that too caught up in owen? what is damien doing and what about olivers arc? and where is chloe-

im sorry ill shut up now im way too invested in these caracters

no, never shut up! I love hearing from people who are invested in these characters!

this isn't something everyone knows, because it's hard to get the word out about things not on the podcast feed, but the technically last bit of canon TBS timeline is this planner that most of the characters write in for Caleb and Adam's graduation. there's not a ton of concrete information in that, but the broad strokes are that Caleb and Adam move to the NYC area, Frank and Chloe are back in Boston, Oliver and Frankie are friends, Frankie and Caitlin are dating, Oliver and Mark are...something, and Sam and Mags are also something!

I realize I answered none of your wonderful questions with that and...I''m sorry to say I can't! not because I don't have ideas, but because I don't like to publicly say much about the post-canon lives of the characters (no matter how much I emphasize that they're my HCs, I know that the creator saying something can still kill the fun for some fans!). sometimes I'll speculate/toss out headcanons with the Pals in our discord server but otherwise, I really like to leave it open for fandom to do whatever they want and to leave myself room should I ever want to go back in and do something in this universe (unlikely, but never say never!).

I'm sorry I can't give firmer answers but would love to hear your ideas for where the characters end up!

[ghost-kitty-cat]

I am back, I have risen from my grave... hehe did you really think you could escape me... well too bad... now get over here, It's time for Detective Headcanons! (Aka Marlowe's listener if you don't know for some reason...)

First Headcanon, (more to do with my mental image of Detective but...) I imagine they have sorta tan skin (I think tan is the right word..) either that or I imagine them being a poc (I believe that's the correct term for person of color.. side note I also imagine Dearest/Jacob's listener as being a person of color (again sorry if that ain't the right term...)

Second Headcanon, I like to imagine Detective's dad was a Detective too and they learned a lot of their stuff from him... and when he passed away, his office became their office and so did his old German shepherd... (side note: i imagine Detective's dad was the type of person who used files and filing cabinets in his office also I imagine whenever he needed to think something over, he would go out to bar and drink a few shots... he could really handle his liquor... it took a lot to actually get that man drunk...)

Third Headcanon, (sorta also a Dearest Headcanon... but..) I like to imagine they know each other and for a good bit... (I like to imagine they used to hang a lot but Dearest got busy with the whole Jacob situation (which they haven't told Detective about...) and Detective has gotten busy with the whole essence eater/Marlowe situation...)

Fourth Headcanon, so ya know how I said Detective's dad could handle his liquor quite well?... well Detective is the same way... I mean they can literally chug a whole bottle of alcohol and not get drunk/sick... (totally freaked Marlowe out a bit when/if they ever get together..)

Fifth Headcanon, (if I remember correctly (causes it been a bit since I watched the Marlowe videos..) I think Detective has mind reading powers soo...) I like to imagine that they haven't quite mastered how to turn off their powers so because they constantly hear thoughts, they've became quite sensitive to certain noises... and if things get loud for them, they just shut down... (kinda similar to how Rival/Dove gets when they have visions...)

Sixth Headcanon, I like to imagine Detective is the type who watches those Detective/crime shows & podcasts (when they have free time) just to like point out everything they got wrong...

Seventh Headcanon, Detective can not... ...I repeat...CAN NOT... be trusted with their own thoughts (am I going to explain why?... Nope! I'll leave that up to your own imagination...)

Eighth Headcanon, I like to imagine Detective is colorblind... (same with Dearest since they both can't see how much of a RED Flag certain people are... also Red is totally one of their favorite colors hehe...)

Ninth Headcanon, (slightly connected to one of my Marlowe's headcanons... but..) I like to imagine when/if they get together... they totally cuddle and when they're cuddling, Detective will curl up in Marlowe's hoodie/jacket with him (since I imagine Marlowe wears oversized hoodies/jackets...)

Tenth Headcanon, I like to imagine Detective's mom was like either half Spanish or half Mexican and uh when she got angry... she would used a shoe as a weapon... (like the lady from the movie Coco if you've seen that movie... never underestimate a mother especially a mother with a shoe... she even scared Detective's dad a few times...)

Bonus Headcanon, I like to imagine that the German shepherd that was owned by Detective's dad and now is owned by Detective.. is a girl and she is called "Macy" (I think I spelled that right...) Macy is a good German shepherd who is kinda old now so she doesn't have much energy but she's still quite energetic.. also she's spoiled (like she has a bunch of stuff at Detective's place and Macy even has her own little bed in Detective's office...)

[rwbyremnants]

This is the epilogue! It's been a long, strange trip, but I finally completed this one! I'm going to get a bit sentimental and long-winded about Rooster Teeth under the cut, but (so you can skip it: just CTRL+F and search for "Chapter 60") up here I'll just say thanks so much for reading. I hope you like these last few surprises!

WARNING: ROOSTER TEETH RAMBLING. You don't have to read this, it's not about Princess And The Dragons! You have been warned.

So as everybody probably knows by now, Rooster Teeth is on death row, and the fate of RWBY is totally up in the air. If you're learning about it this way… I'm very sorry; here's an article with more details. TL:DR, Warner Bros Discovery swallowed their parent company a while back, and that led to some cool collabs like Justice League x RWBY, but…

I'll keep this rant brief. David Zaslav is a callous corporate jerk that hates art, and has no business being in charge of a content creation company when all he cares about is money. His body count is rising (Batgirl, Final Space, Adult Swim Games, etc), and I hope he generates enough hate that he gets fired and never finds work in his field again. That is all.

Anyway, because RT couldn't turn a profit in the 1.5 years since they became part of WBD, they're getting shut down in a couple months, and they're going to try to shop its various properties around to other companies. Crunchyroll is a good candidate for RWBY, since they already aired volume 9, but nothing is certain yet at all. It's entirely possible we will never see a volume 10 - or it might be in some other format, like a comic book. All we can do is wait and see.

I found RWBY through a friend in 2014, which led me to RT as a whole. It's one of several things that changed my life that year - most of them for the better. I spent a lot of time with Achievement Hunter and Rage Quit videos, the RT Podcast and Always Open… went to see Lazer Team (and RWBY volume debuts) in actual theaters. I wish I had been able to make it to RTX, but it was too far away for me to be able to get there. At one point, it was a pretty huge part of my life. Then, like with most things, I sort of gravitated away, though I kept going back for the podcasts, and kept up with RWBY of course.

But I knew RT might not last that much longer when it was announced that Always Open was cancelled for a second time, and that RWBY Volume 10 still wasn't even greenlit. There were too many controversies (we don't have to get into those). Some of the founders were already gone, I hardly ever saw the people I was most fond of onscreen. For the first time in almost a decade, I cancelled my First membership, because it felt like my favorite content wasn't coming to the platform anymore… and I'm broke. I feel a little bad, of course, but I think we all kind of knew that they might not survive the changing landscape of streaming content. The minute they became part of WBD, their lack of profitability spelled the end.

Sorry, I'm all in my feelings about it, and I don't want to make the comments or the end of this fic all about RT, but I felt like I couldn't post a new chapter of a RWBY fic without at least addressing the situation, and giving my own history and perspective on it. This is just the state of the fandom, and I'm really sad and depressed about it, and wishing that something could have been done. But at the end of the day, it's actually pretty amazing that a bunch of drunk guys created a company in their bedroom that lasted 21 years and gave us a hundred shows. Just sucks it had to end because of mergers and nonsense, but I guess nothing lasts forever.

Thanks for listening, if you did; no shade if you didn't. I'm just really going to miss those guys and that content-creation family always being there to provide amusing and comforting content, like friends you could hang out with whenever you wanted. Thanks for all the memories, RT, and for being one of my safe spaces when I needed one.

-NBW

----------------------------------------------------

=Chapter 60

  Weiss Schnee took a deep breath, eyes closing as she let the aromas of roasting turkey and gravy fill her nostrils. This was always her favourite part about Thanksgiving. Sure, pumpkin pie and potatoes were wonderful dishes, but the centerpiece was the artfully-prepared bird, without a doubt.

Especially with Kali cooking it this year. Their chef had been lost in the family scuffles, and it made no financial sense to hire another when they could all learn to pitch in a little more instead.

Besides, Willow seemed to have turned over a new leaf. Since she had no head for business, she allowed the interim director to stay on and only asked for updates from him once a week – with Kali in attendance, naturally. That was enough to ensure that nothing unscrupulous was going on beneath her nose. Meanwhile, that left Weiss's mother with little else to do besides taking care of house and home… which suited her in a way Weiss never would have expected. Though it had begun as penance for years of absentee parenting, now it was more like a calling. A place she felt she belonged.

“Ready to head down?”

The princess leaned a little more fully against Yang as they lounged in their bed. Their bed… even this many weeks later, it still sounded strange to think of it that way. “Just about ready.”

“Why?” she insisted with a fierce grin, a hand drifting up to turn Weiss’s face up to look at her. “Careful, Schnee, or I’ll think you caught… Xiao Long Madness.”

“Xiao Long Madness?” Her hand pressed into the center of her chest as she heaved a theatrical gasp. “What on earth could that be?”

“Well… it starts out slow.” Two fingers began to tiptoe up along her thigh. “You don’t even know you’ve got it until it’s creeping up on you.” The hand smoothed along her stomach through the soft material of her party dress, and Weiss had to suppress a shiver. “Makes you a little tingly, breathe faster… heart beating louder and louder…”

“Yang, you little…” Pushing her hand away with a giggle once it reached her breast, she admonished her, “We have to get to the table! Without messing up our clothes! Just grab those earth pads so we can join the others.”

Chuckling with her, the Dragon turned and got up from the bed, snatching up two pairs of shoes from the floor. “Alright, alright. Even though both our parents know? What, they’re going to be shocked that we got a little frisky today, too?”

“That isn’t the point! I want to be presentable for our families, and the Belladonnas!” Her brief indignation subsided as Yang started lovingly putting her heels on. “Oh… I know, I’m being silly. But can we please have a lovely, respectable family dinner? Just this once, for the holiday?”

“Of course,” she promised with an earnest tone, smiling up at her before she kissed Weiss’s other foot. “Princess Toes.” Then she slid the other heel on and grabbed for her own – but Weiss snatched them away. “Hey, what gives? I mean, you actually got me into a dress and now you’re trying to keep me from-”

“Shush.” Weiss returned the favour, sliding the very un-Yang-like heels on while Yang’s cheeks went the tiniest bit pink. They always did when she was doted on since it was such an uncommon occurrence for the bruiser; Weiss adored that. And she adored being the only one trusted to be sweet to her in that way.

“Mkay, Weiss. Now I’m all dolled up for you. Like a pig wearing lipstick.”

Sighing, she swatted Yang on the arm. “Don’t be stupid. You are a beautiful woman. Being strong as an ox doesn’t change that.”

“If you see me that way, then that’s all that matters.” They shared a brief kiss, humming against each other’s lips before they broke apart and stood. “Let’s go strap the ol’ feedbag on.”

“How charming,” she deadpanned.

As they walked past Weiss’s dresser, she glanced at the framed photograph on the wall. There they were: the Dragons. Every last living member, with the youngest arranged in the front. Even if it was a little incriminating, she had decided in the end that it was much more important to the little gangster princess to have this memento than it was to “play it safe” - especially now that the only Vale citizen who would have thrown a tantrum about its existence was long dead.

Emerald and Cinder with their arms around each other. Ilia hanging off Blake despite how she was rolling her eyes. A grinning Coco who still had Velvet on her arm instead of lost to another continent – the picture had been taken with her camera, after all, set on a timer. Even Salem was smiling, albeit in an irritated and resigned way. Happiness in a wooden frame.

“You coming?” Yang asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” she sighed as she tripped after her girlfriend into the hall. “Hold your horses.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my snooty girlfriend?”

“HEY!”

Downstairs, Blake, Ilia, and Whitley were all seated in the living room, chatting politely about the weather and other surface topics. Though her brother wasn’t thrilled terribly to know the Dragons, he had seemed to accept it – and to accept them as humans rather than foul beasts that were beneath him.

“Hey, good lookin’,” Blake bade her.

“Good evening.” Weiss actually curtsied, and Ilia giggled. “I'm excited. Is that silly?”

“Maybe a little. But I think we're allowed to be a little silly after the Autumn we've had.”

True enough. Weiss flashed a tight smile before she turned toward the kitchen.

“Watch that gravy!”

Raven's hands quickly moved toward the stove while Kali hastily crimped the edges of her pie. The latter was poised and pristine; the former, a sweating nervous wreck. But she was trying. Most of the dishes were already arranged on the counter, kept warm by potholders and waiting to be served.

“Oh my God,” Yang muttered in Weiss's ear. “Where's Rod Serling? Because I think we just entered The Twilight Zone.”

“The what?”

“Oh, it's a new show. Don't worry about it. Just meant watching Raven really cook is like science fiction.”

Meanwhile, Willow at last noticed they were standing there and waved them over to the dining room. “Hey, girls! Come help me set the table.”

They did as they were told. Mrs. Schnee was humming and cheerful, eyes full of light as she made sure all the silverware was properly placed, each napkin neatly folded.

“You're really excited, aren't you, Mother?”

“Ohhhh yes,” she told her immediately, grinning from ear to ear. “Very! It's our first big dinner with everyone together, isn't it? Our ragtag little family. And it already feels more like…”

When she didn't finish, Yang prompted, “Like?”

“Like a real Thanksgiving. Far more than the past few years.”

“I know what you mean,” Weiss said as she placed the last few forks. “You weren't yourself, and Father was… well.”

But Willow brushed it off with an elegant hand. Still no calluses forming from her sudden uptick of housework, but they would, eventually, if she didn't keep up conditioning them. Pampering herself. Honestly, Weiss had no idea if she would go one way or the other.

“All in the past. We're starting fresh, aren't we, Weiss?”

“We sure are,” she said immediately, beaming back at her mother. Proud of her progress and new outlook on life. “Annnnd… I think the table’s ready. What's next?”

“Not much.” A bell sounded throughout the house, and her eyes lifted. “Oh, could you see who that is? I think I should help Raven and Kali.”

Her daughter obeyed, moving through the living room where Whitley was just standing. She waved him back down and pulled the door wide.

And found herself face to face with such a haggard, unenthused face that she instinctively took a step back. The man's ominous eyes almost looked through her. Her fight or flight instincts were starting to kick in, but she knew she shouldn’t literally attack someone who had done nothing more than come to her front door – not without further provocation.

“U-um…”

“Hey!” From around his back popped Ruby's cheery face, and she added a little wave. “Sorry we're so late; Grumpy Gus didn't wanna get ready.”

“I was ready,” Qrow growled as he pushed past Weiss without a word of greeting. “You didn't like what I was wearing.”

With a dramatic sigh, Ruby followed, stopping to hug Weiss. Penny was close on her heels, freckles seeming to glow with excitement as she hefted a casserole dish. Yang was next in line for hugs while Qrow seemed magnetically drawn to the wetbar in the corner.

“U-um!” came from the door as Weiss tried to close it. Pulling it wide revealed a very flustered neighbour. “Hello again!”

“Pyrrha?! What are you doing here? I thought you would be sitting down with your folks right about now!”

The athlete shrugged, cheeks rosy as she fidgeted in her lovely golden-hued frock. There was clearly an internal struggle playing out behind her bright green eyes, which remained mostly pointed down at her black pumps. “Well… I just wanted to wish you a happy Thanksgiving! Before we all dig in! So… so now I have! And, well, bye!”

However, as she turned to stride down the steps and away from the house, Weiss jogged after her. “Wait!”

“Yes?” she asked as she turned.

“There's something else, isn't there?” No immediate answer. “Come on. What's a best friend for if she can't help a girl through thick and thin?”

After a brief internal debate, the redhead let out a long sigh. “Jaune is coming to dinner.”

“Really? That's fantastic news!” Again, Pyrrha hesitated, so Weiss asked, “It's… not fantastic news?”

“Well… ordinarily, yes. But Cinder and Emerald are already there.”

“WHAT?!”

“SHHHH!” she hissed at her friend, green eyes wide. “I didn't think I would get as close to him as I have since the dance, and… I had already invited them before he asked me to homecoming! Then I forgot, and they showed up with a whole ham, and it would have been so rude to turn them away…”

Weiss laid a gentle hand on her arm. “Relax, okay? I'm sure everything will be fine.”

“But you know how Cinder is around boys! She hates them! And I know she has good reason, but Jaune is very important to me, and… and I don't want anyone to have an unhappy holiday thanks to me!”

“They won't. I promise. You are the nicest host, and the sweetest friend. And Emerald and Cinder have each other now; they're much less bitter and unhappy.”

“Oh… I know you're right. Thank you. And I shouldn't get flustered every time they try to kiss me anymore, I- I have to get used to that eventually, don't I?”

“Of course!” she chirruped with a patient smile. “Just keep rebuffing those advances; they will get the message.”

At those words, her childhood friend fell silent. Seconds ticked by while she squirmed. Then she whispered, “It may be too late for that plan.”

“What? I mean… what do you mean?”

“Well, if I were to rebuff their advances, I probably shouldn't have let Cinder steal a little kiss at homecoming.” When her fellow paper-shaker only gaped, the red-faced track star’s face grew yet redder. “Or behind the malt shop last weekend. Or just before I walked over here.”

“PYRRHA NIKOS!”

“I'm sorry! I told you, she makes me feel… swept away,” she breathed with a shy smile. “Even though I'm more attracted to Jaune, like him more and get along with him so well, I don't dislike Cinder… and she's strong, and confident, and beautiful…”

A laughing Weiss reassured her, “You don't have to explain anything to me. I have my own similar arrangement with a blonde and a brunette, so why on Earth would I throw stones in my glass house?”

“But what do I do? Poor Jaune has no idea women go around with other women as much as we do – a-and what about Emerald? Ordinarily I would be concerned about her feeling jealous, but she watches Cinder tease me – encourages it! That seems so dirty, and that's without the things they threaten to do to me if I let them!”

“Holy moley,” she breathed. “Pyrrha! You're a Dragon in sheep's clothing!”

That smile was still shy, but also a little excited. “Am not. But the kissing is… women's lips are so soft!”

“Aren't they?” Both girls sighed dreamily, then giggled. “Your secret is safe with me, but I think the sooner you explain all this to Jaune, the less bad it will be in the long run.”

“You… are probably right. But not now. I don't want to ruin the holiday for my parents.”

“Of course. You should probably get back.” As Pyrrha nodded, she tilted her head and asked, “What did you tell them about Cinder and Emerald, anyway?”

“Just that they're new friends of yours, and mine. And that they had no family to dine with. It's true, after all.”

Weiss nodded sagely. “And you wanted them to have a big slice of Pyrrha pie for dessert.”

“Mmhmm! I thought it would be… very- oh, you're so mean to me!”

“Maybe,” she cackled, leaning closer. “Or maybe I'm jealous because I want some for myself.”

And without waiting for a response, Weiss gave her a quick peck on the lips. Just a fun little tease without any deeper meaning behind it. Pyrrha was too startled to respond until Weiss's impish grin began to slip a notch – and then she laughed, loudly and freely.

“Oh Weiss! I think we both have our hands full enough as it is! But… thank you. For more than just now, for so, so much.”

Curtsying playfully, she giggled, “And thank you, madam. It is Thanksgiving, after all; we should be expressing our gratitude.”

“True!” As she skipped away, Pyrrha sang out over her shoulder, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

“You too, best friend!”

When she re-entered the living room, it was to a highly stressful scene. Qrow and Raven were seated one each upon the armchair and the couch, ranged across from each other, and if ever the phrase “glaring daggers” applied, it would be to those two siblings.

“You look good, sis,” he rumbled with a poisonous smirk. “Really got some color in your cheeks for once. What's your secret?”

“Staying away from things that are hazardous to my health. Like you.”

“Wow,” Penny breathed from Ruby's side, as surprised as anyone at how venomous they were toward each other. From her, Weiss glanced around at the various uncomfortable guests and eventually spotted Yang standing in the doorway of the kitchen, indecisive.

“Ooooh, temper temper. Still haven't figured out that's what made Taiyang ditch you, huh?” When Raven started to sit forward as if she would attack, he raised up both hands, palms out. “Easy now. Didn't come here to pick a fight, just came to eat.”

Teeth clenched hard enough to grind corn into meal, she hissed at him, “Funny way of showing it. Then again, you never did know when to quit.”

“Seems to me like I knew exactly when to quit. Before the Dragons turned into the Bulldyk-”

“Who would like a drink?” Weiss called out in a voice far too high to be natural. A few of her peers turned in her direction, but Raven and Qrow didn't budge at all. “Anyone?”

“May I have a lemonade?” Penny said in her usual oblivious-but-pleasant tone.

“Alright, look,” Yang finally sighed as she walked a little deeper into the room. “You guys hate each other; we get it. But it's Thanksgiving, and there are more people here than just you two chowderheads. So can we just… put that on the back burner until tomorrow? Please?”

Silence reigned for a long few seconds. Then Qrow heaved himself to his feet. “Think I'll take you up on that drink, Schnee.” He returned to the wet bar to refill his glass. Luckily, it seemed like the breaking of their staring contest gave Raven the right to let herself relax, and she ran her hand over her hair.

“Are they always like this?” Ilia asked in a soft murmur, mostly to Blake.

“Raven, yes. I have no idea about him, I haven't seen him more than once in my whole life before now.”

Before Ilia could form a response, an “Ahem” came from the doorway leading into the dining room. Kali stood there with a polite smile on her face, hands clasped in front of her stomach; the picture of a polite hostess.

“I believe dinner is served. If you will all come through and seat yourselves, we would love to begin.”

Raven was the first to exit, seemingly to give herself at least a few scant seconds without her brother in the same room. Then her daughter followed soon afterward, and everyone else stood and began to follow the others.

“Wheeee,” Ruby deadpanned as she led Penny inside.

The spread look amazing. Kali had definitely outdone herself, and somehow Willow and Raven had not ruined all her good work with their awkward attempts to help. Turkey, dressing, casserole, fresh hot buns, and gleaming red cranberry sauce were already weighing down the table. Weiss's beaming mother stood behind the chair at the head of the table, waiting for the others to sit before she seated herself.

“Thank you all for coming,” she said in a quiet, nervously excited voice. “I know this will probably be strange, as some of you hardly even know who I am, much less have met me. But I'm happy to meet you all and welcome you to my home.”

“I am happy to be here,” Penny replied brightly as if she were being directly addressed. But Willow only smiled right back at her, and the girl grinned from ear-to-ear.

“Before we dig in, I'd like us all to go around the table and say something we are thankful for from this past year.” One or two groans sounded from the guests, but most of them were polite enough to keep their desire to eat right away to themselves. “Would anyone like to start?”

As she brought in a dish of beans, Kali said, “Go on, Willow dear. Set us an example.”

“Oh, very well.” As Whitley sat at her left, Weiss at her right, she composed herself for a moment. “I’m thankful for my family. My real family – everyone here, even if some of us are just meeting tonight. And that my eyes are open enough for me to appreciate that now.”

After a moment or two of silence, a few people nodding along, she turned to Whitley. Starting, he said, “Ah. Well, I suppose I’m thankful that all the nastiness is behind us. This year has been unpleasant but… well, looking around here, I must admit we’re coming out the other side.”

As Penny clapped for him, and a few others stifled laughter at her clapping, Kali spoke up, “I’m thankful for a certain little princess for bringing us all together. If not for her, this might have been an easier year, but a lot less interesting.” And she raised her water glass to Weiss, who waved her off – despite her cheeks tinting pink.

“Same here,” Blake agreed with a big smile. “She really shook things up in the best of ways. Still a little weird that I get to be friends with her. But thanks, Weiss.”

“And you could probably guess I’m going to say thanks for helping me finally get Blake’s attention,” Ilia sighed resignedly as the others chuckled. Hands were definitely being held under the table, and Weiss had a hard time not squealing with secondhand glee. Then they all turned to look at Qrow.

“Huh? Oh, uh… skip me.”

Ruby nudged him hard. “No skipping!”

“Fine. I’m thankful for this dumb squirt.” He ruffled her hair aggressively, and she laughed – even if she was hastily patting her hair back into place right afterward. “That A-okay, kiddo?”

“Sure.” Then she cleared her throat and said, “I’m grateful for… well, a lotta stuff. But I can’t pick between the two big things: Penny asking me out, and…” Her eyes began to water. “And getting my sister back. They’re b-both pretty outta sight.”

“Nah, you should pick Penny,” Yang said with a wistful smile. “I ain’t that special.”

“Don’t say that! You’re my sister and you’re amazing!”

“Okay, okay,” Raven interrupted them with a sigh. “Break up the happy-fight, girls. Let’s hurry this along so we can all eat. Penny?”

Blinking her huge green eyes, the freckle-faced girl chirruped, “Oh! Well, I am thankful for Ruby, of course. And her family – which seems to be all of you! And for the food we are about to eat. Amen.”

“Amen,” Whitley muttered automatically, even though everyone else was blinking in confusion. Weiss wasn’t sure at which point Penny’s thanks had turned into grace, but it was even stranger to call attention to it. So no one did.

“And I’m thankful for Yang putting up with me,” Raven said simply. “Go on.”

But Yang wasn’t about to let that slip past. “Wait, what do you mean?”

“My attitude. I’ve…” Her sigh was weary, her glare burning a hole into the table. “I’ve been a terrible mother. Nobody has to tell me,” she said over the handful of protests. “Just because I did my best, tried to make my kid tough enough the world wouldn’t eat her alive, doesn’t mean my best was very good. But I think…” Her sharp eyes flicked up to Qrow, waiting for some kind of scathing comment.

“No, no, go on,” he told her smoothly. And though his face might have been slightly smug, he didn’t goad her any more than that.

“I think Willow’s been good for me. I’ve done worse than her and she’s trying so hard to… fix what’s wrong. Have to be a real dope to not try the same thing. Guess that’s what I’m glad for this year.” Then she flung at her brother, “So you can sit on that, Jack.”

“Gladly,” he rumbled, lowering his glass of something strong-smelling and regarding her evenly. “I ain’t no prince, either, Sis. Louse everything up every day. All we can do is our best to make up for it.”

While Raven was busy blinking at the almost-nice sentiment from her estranged sibling, Yang cleared her throat and stood up. That already surprised Weiss before she even started talking – and then she surprised her even more.

“So I’m not that good at speech-making,” she chuckled, scratching the back of her neck. “Or wearing heels. But I’m gonna do both at the same time, I guess.

“Life has been pretty kooky since this princess fell in my lap. Honest, I thought she would snub me and that would be that – or that I could have a little fun before I got the cold shoulder, maybe. But this amazing, beautiful, talented, strong knock-out…” For a moment, Yang just laughed, trying to figure out what else she was saying. “She changed me. Changed my whole life in a good way, and I can’t even imagine what I would do without her now. And I don’t wanna. So yeah. Thanks, Weiss, for taming this Dragon.”

Weiss was just smiling tearily up at her proud, cocky features that were currently gazing right back at her with a megaton force of love, when most of the others began to clap. Starting, she covered her face to hide her blush, but then she felt Yang’s lips gently pushing into the back of her hand.

“I mean it,” she whispered as Weiss cooed. “On the hook for you, Schnee.”

“My sweet angel,” Willow breathed softly, beaming at both of them.

“Oh, stop it, all of you,” Weiss blustered, but the pink-cheeked grin somewhat undercut her words. Then she spoke up a little louder. “As for me… oh, I don’t have anything.”

“You don’t?” Blake asked incredulously, folding her arms over her chest and smirking. “You? Nothing comes to mind for the girl who can normally talk the hind leg off a mule?”

“Everything does. It’s everything. I mean, other than a few unpleasant things I had to witness, but… I wouldn’t trade this year for the world. I have a real family now, and some of them are even my actual blood relatives. So thank you, God, for ALL of this.”

“Amen,” Whitley said again a little more firmly than before, and this time Yang snorted a little.

“Amen!” Willow put in brightly. “And with that, let’s dig in!”

“Thank GOD for THAT!” Ruby burst out, and the others all giggled. For a tiny little slip of a girl, she had a voracious appetite.

-----------------------------------------

    Dinner was everything the Schnees had desperately hoped it would be and more. Though Raven avoided speaking to Qrow at all costs, the upside of that was that she actually didn’t resist all of Kali’s attempts at conversation. They would likely never be the best of friends again, but it was a start toward reconciliation that Weiss found extremely heartening.

However, there were a couple of hiccups. Kali and Raven got into a very terse argument about the best path for Yang’s future that didn’t particularly go anywhere. Ilia spilled gravy all over Qrow, earning her a strong glare; Willow hurried him upstairs and gave him some of Jacques’s clothes to change into while they were washing his shirt, which fit at least well enough. Whitley made the mistake of casually mentioning that his sister was a “deviant” in a room full of such deviants, though he hastily apologised and insisted he did not mean any offense when he noticed all the eyes glinting with doom. Still, all in all not a bad evening.

“I couldn’t eat another bite,” Yang burped as she helped them move all the dishes to the sink. “But I want to! It’s all so good, I haven’t even tasted Kali’s food that was this good before! And hers is always the bee’s knees!”

“Flatterer.” Kali herself came in behind her and put the empty casserole dish on the counter, then pulled Yang in for a little cheek-kiss. “But keep it coming; I might save you an extra piece of pie.”

As Yang laughed nervously, her mother strode over and said, “Hey, cut that out. Stop tryin’ to be my kid’s mom. That’s my job.” And then she kissed her on the cheek, as well, leaving a very shocked Yang glancing between them. As if waiting to have to break up a fight should it flare up from nowhere.

But all Kali did was smile and say, “Good.” Then she started scrubbing a pot vigorously, humming a light little tune.

“Um, let us do those,” Yang volunteered. “You cooked, it’s the least we can do.”

“Oh, that’s alright.”

“No it’s not. You do so much, Mrs. B, and everybody takes it for granted. I’m not gonna anymore.”

As Yang moved into position in front of the sink, Kali pressed a hand to the center of her chest and fluttered her eyelashes. “My my myyyy, Weiss, you certainly have found yourself a stand-up woman. Good thing for you I’m-”

“Watch how you finish that,” Raven warned. “Talking about my daughter there.”

“That I’m… not twenty years younger,” she finished slyly. “And I will leave it at that, alright?” When Raven nodded curtly, she rolled her eyes and tittered as she moved to stand beside Weiss. “Come with me.”

Confused, she let herself be taken to the dining room again, which was mostly empty. Everyone had moved to the living room by now. “Yes?”

“I thought I should tell you sometime when we had a moment; there’s been too much going on before now.” Glancing around, Kali whispered, “Salem has agreed that we’re rebuilding Shopkeeper’s. The money will come out of a nest egg she had set aside to renovate her own home and to retire on; she won’t be able to do those things now for a while yet, but at least we’ll all have a home again.”

“That’s fantastic news!” When Kali only frowned, she asked, “Or is it? What’s wrong?”

“Well… to be frank, I’m a little disappointed you aren’t looking at my chest.”

“Huh?!”

Smirking, she whispered, “My hands were wet when I held one to my chest a moment ago, so now the top of my dress is all damp. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice! I must be losing my touch.”

Unable to help briefly glancing at the more pronounced outline of Kali’s bosom, she stamped her foot and hissed, “You stop that! I thought there was a real problem!”

“How is this not a ‘real’ problem? My looks are fading!” The back of her hand flew to her forehead as she clutched the neckline of her dress like a silent film starlet. “It won’t be long now, little Weiss; you’ll be seeing me in a casket, old and wrinkled. Past my prime and with no bevy of saucy young things surrounding me, weeping their eyes out at the loss!”

“Oh, enough!” Kali’s laugh made her smile against her will. “Your breasts are as magnetic and splendid as ever, if you must know. Just… have other breasts on my mind. And things besides breasts.”

“Of course. It’s quite alright, really.” Cupping Weiss’s cheek tenderly, stroking with her thumb, she whispered, “I just miss chasing you around my kitchen and being ogled; it was harmless fun.”

“Me, too. We’ll do it again soon, okay?”

Kali’s grin was genuine. “Please. You might be with Yang and my Blake, but that’s a game I’m not willing to give up.”

Still playing this game, were they? Well, Weiss wasn’t going to keep being a helpless target anymore. “That’s good. Neither am I.”

Nothing could have prepared Kali for Weiss reaching back to pinch her on the rear end before she walked past into the kitchen. The squeak of surprise was as flustered as she had ever heard Blake’s mother, even if it was brief and not terribly loud. Weiss had to swallow down her own giggle – and the slight thrill of how nice that pinch had felt, fleeting as it was. When Kali followed her in a few seconds later, she was markedly more composed, but grinning wolfishly and had the faintest of blushes in her cheeks.

And her chest bore the evidence of the pinch, as well. Blake, who had been dropping off the last of the plates, noticed the stiffened peaks within seconds and hurried to finish putting them down before excusing herself. This time, Kali noticed, but only seemed vaguely curious and puzzled rather than scandalised. It seemed her daughter’s secret would remain safe for a little while longer.

Once the dishes were done, Weiss cleared her throat and made an announcement to everyone congregating in the living room. “Attention! If you all would be so kind as to join us in the drawing room, Ilia Amitola and myself will be performing ‘Ave Maria’. Just a little post-dinner entertainment.”

“Ooh!” Ruby gasped, hopping up and down in her seat. “You’re gonna play something?”

“Ilia will play, I will sing.”

“OOH!”

Qrow sighed. “I’m staying down here. Maybe Donna Reed’s on.”

“I’m game,” Raven said with a careless shrug. The others seemed to have similar opinions, and began to make their way upstairs.

On the landing, Weiss’s mother hesitated. She backtracked into the hall to ask her, “What’s wrong?”

“Unpleasant memories of that room.”

“Oh… of course.” A flash of seeing her father struck over the head with a vase filled her vision before she blinked to clear it away. “Tell you what, Mommy. Let’s start making some new memories in there, right now. Can we try that?”

Swallowing hard, her mother’s eyes flicked back and forth a little as she took up Weiss’s hand and gave it a would-be firm pat. “You’re right. I’d love to hear my angel sing again.”

Chest puffing out like a male frigatebird, Weiss turned and strode toward the piano where a clearly-nervous Ilia was playing a few scales very quietly. Blake was leaning against one wall, watching her with a genuine fondness in her amber eyes. That gave Weiss some comfort; it looked like their budding relationship was truly heading in the right direction.

So she played. And Weiss sang. The voices that were muttering seconds before fell silent. Every day of her life, she had let her father’s insistences that she needed to practice more, to make sure her instrument was honed to perfection before she displayed it to others, keep her voice caged and silent. She was through letting her past bar her way to her future.

By the time the final note wavered and faded, several hands were pressed to mouths. Kali had to sit down. Ruby and Penny were huddled close, sniffling. Even Raven’s eyes were slightly damp, though she was trying to appear her usual detached self. Everyone but Yang and her own mother were completely stunned. The issue was, several of the Dragons had heard Ilia play already and knew she had talent, but Weiss’s was brand new to most of them.

So Weiss barely had time to curtsy before they were being swarmed.

“Oh my GOD, Schnee!” Blake was gushing. “How did I not know about this?!”

“That was INCREDIBLE!” Ruby piped up, literally hopping up and down. “I’m flipping, what a gas!”

With a slight chuckle, Raven said, “How are we supposed to understand what these damn curtain climbers are saying these days?” But instead of leaving it at that, she looked Weiss dead in the eyes and added, “Nice pipes. Really.”

“Th-thanks,” she breathed. The grumpy woman only nodded and turned back to Ilia, patting her on the back too hard and making her almost fall over into the piano.

“Maybe you ought to be chasing me,” Kali told her, gripping her hands firmly. “Oh, I’m so proud of you, though. A songbird on top of everything else!”

“S-stop,” she tried again with a huge, bashful grin, but it was useless; Penny and Whitley were clapping again, and Yang was massaging her shoulders, and…

And the room was full of love, and reassurance. Camaraderie and affection. Family.

“Okay, okay!” Ilia finally cackled as Ruby gave her a big showy kiss on the cheek, causing it to change colours. “Who wants to hear something else? I could play ‘Night Train’, but it doesn’t have any words.”

“What about ‘Chances Are’?” Raven suggested with something like a grin. And Weiss had to fight down a laugh; she should have known Johnny Mathis would come up sooner or later. The woman was addicted to the crooner. “O-or ‘Misty’… doesn’t matter. Forget it.”

But Ilia was thoughtful. “I haven’t tried either before, but the piano parts are pretty simple. Weiss? You up to the vocals?” When Weiss nodded, she cracked her knuckles. “I could probably pick it out if you give me a-”

“HEY!” interrupted a gruff voice from downstairs. “Some dame’s tryin’ to break into your house!”

Stunned by that proclamation, Weiss and her mother quickly stole down the stairs to see what Qrow meant. The others were hot on their heels - and they nearly ended up in a heap, since the Schnee women had stopped dead in their tracks at the bottom of the staircase.

“Am I too late for dinner?”

It only took a few seconds of awkward smiles and heavy silence before Weiss burst out “WINTER!” and went flying across the entryway and into her big sister’s arms. Winter Schnee was several inches taller, and her trademark Schnee white-blonde hair was pulled into a taut bun. Her arms dropped the heavy duffel bag just barely inside the front door and instantly clamped around Weiss, expression melting into one of affection.

“Ohhhh, Snowball,” she whispered into her shoulder. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“Winter, I don’t understand!” her mother laughed, dashing after her younger daughter and resting a hand on the elder’s shoulder. Winter looked both delighted and surprised to see her so lucid. “What are you doing here so soon? I thought Christmas…”

“Well, after I got the telegram about Father, how could I stay away?” Her brows were furrowed despite the smiles. “Are you all doing alright? I can’t imagine…”

“Oh, fine, fine,” she dismissed with a wave of her hand. Both Raven and Kali rolled their eyes in the background. “You aren’t AWOL, are you?” Winter shook her head. “Oh good. Then how did you manage to slip away? How will you finish your tour of duty if-”

“I’m not. Mother, I’m staying right here in Vale, and taking over the business.”

Their mother’s expression slackened. “Oh… oh no, dear, you mustn’t do that. You enlisted to serve our country, a-and we can get along just fine while you do. It shouldn’t mean you have to drop everyth-”

“Please,” Winter said a little more firmly, finally releasing Weiss as she straightened into a more military stance. “Let me do this. I… what Father has done…” Her voice cracked slightly, even if it was her only overt display of emotion. “I should have been here to protect you, and Weiss and Whitley. And I wasn’t.”

At the mention of his name, Whitley moved into Weiss’s spot and hugged Winter soundly. Though he let go immediately afterward. “There was nothing you could do, I’m afraid, Sister. Though it still pains me to admit his wrongdoing… our father intended to kill Weiss’s friends. It was the response of a coward, and… and he was a killer, and had to be stopped. By death, I’m not quite as sure, but he deserved some sort of justice.”

“Even more reason for me to be here,” she insisted. “I am trained in combat; I could have put his head through a wall before he so much as laid a hand on any of you.”

“Don’t worry,” Willow tried to reassure her in a gentle tone, petting her daughter’s strong jaw. “We had everything well in hand. Oh, I am so very glad to have you back, though!”

Eyes finally lifting to scan the room properly, Winter smiled very slightly and said, “Yes, I see that you have a very… full house, Mother. Who are all these people? You said ‘friends’ were helping you, but…”

“Where are my manners?” Kali chuckled gently as she strode forward, offering her hand. “Kali Belladonna. I’ve been helping your mother through the legal aspects of the divorce and the will, and trying to help clean up around the house. That’s my daughter, Blake.” On cue, Blake waved. “And… well, I’m sure this must be a surprise, such an odd assortment of-”

“Dragons.” When there were a few gasps of surprise, Winter nodded at the leather jackets hanging from the coat rack, her expression vaguely thoughtful. “I remember them well. Wandered into Shopkeeper’s by mistake when I was in my junior year at Vale High, and… well, that was a rather eye-opening experience.”

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Kali suddenly breathed. “That was you? I remember that curious little lamb now. We don’t get many strays like that.”

“Wait, wait,” Weiss found herself saying, shaking her head out. “You’ve seen the inside of Shopkeeper’s, and never mentioned it? And you’re not freaking out that there are Dragons in our house?”

The corner of her mouth did twitch upward in bemusement. “Well… I have to admit, it’s a little unusual, but if you invited them in, you must think of them as friends.”

“Oh. I guess that makes sense.”

“Are they?” Weiss nodded vaguely, and Winter folded her arms over her chest. “Are any of them more than friends?” When the only response she got was widening eyes and pinkening cheeks, Winter blinked in surprise. Clearly, she had not expected her teasing to turn up anything pertinent. “Oh.”

“I… it’s not… you probably think I’m some sort of deviant.” Whitley cringed at the use of that word, memory of being admonished still fresh. “Sorry, this isn’t how I-”

“No, no, don’t apologise. Let me show you something.”

From within her plain black purse, she withdrew a battered-looking leather wallet. Flipping past a few bills and identification cards, eventually she came up with a small photograph of a petite, dark-skinned girl in a beret. Her eyes looked clear and clever, and her lips as if she were trying to suppress a smirk.

“This… is Ciel. She’s someone very special to me. Or… was.” Her eyes were sad as she added, “Her parents are marrying her off, and she told me that we had our fun, but it was over. And honestly, I believe her; I want to say she’s just scared and I’ll ‘win her back’, but I doubt it. Once Ciel’s mind is made up, it’s set in stone.”

However, Weiss was laughing. Everyone else remained quiet, but a little at a time, Winter’s hands moved to her hips as her little sister doubled over with mirth, nearly staggering over into the umbrella stand.

“And what’s the matter with you now?”

Still giggling, she turned around and beckoned Yang closer. The blonde immediately hopped to, edging past her mother and Penny to stride over to Weiss’s side. Immediately, they locked their hands together, and Yang’s eyes widened just a bit. The elder sibling couldn’t help gasping, though she didn’t look displeased. Not in the slightest.

“Oh, Winter,” she breathed with an excited grin. “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

“Maybe we do, Weiss.” Winter leaned their foreheads together as she added, “And I would love that more than anything in the world right now.”

“Me, too. But first, come see what leftovers we have; you’re probably really hungry.”

“Yes, please!” Willow provided with a huge grin – and the fact that she also wasn’t fazed by Winter’s outing herself seemed to make the older of the sisters completely bewildered. “Come inside, dear – Whitley, can you take her bag upstairs? She must be so tired, and we have so much catching up to do!”

“Can’t one of these brutes do it? You know I have minimal upper body strength.”

“Brutes?!” Raven fired up – but Kali’s hand on her arm helped her reign it in. Through her teeth, she growled, “Sure. Anything for the Schnees.” Then she grabbed the bag with one hand, hefting it as she glared briefly at the boy before carrying it toward the bedrooms.

Meanwhile, Weiss was on cloud nine. Winter was there. Her sister was the only missing piece from her family; now it was complete. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ruby jump up and down a little before she rushed over to her side.

“You’re a little sister, too!”

“Yes,” she chuckled quietly as she watched her mother leading Winter into the kitchen, both of them chatting easily. And Winter looked so happy to see her mother wasn’t a lush anymore; was bright-eyed and invested in the world around her. Just like she herself was happy about it. “So what?”

“So it’s really COOL! Maybe that’s why we’re friends, huh? Like, aside from you dating Yang… I always thought we had more of a bond, a-and that’s what it is! We know what it’s like to be little sisters with big strong sisters, a-and that’s neato, huh? Right?”

To stop her from jumping around, she paused to give Ruby a warm hug. “We’re friends because I like you. That’s all. But… you’re right, it’s pretty neat that we both have strong big sisters.”

After only a brief pause, Ruby squeezed her back and whispered, “Yeah. Little sister club!” Then she pulled back with a huge grin. “Go hang out with Winter. She seems so hip.”

“She is.”

As she stepped across the threshold into the dining room, she heard Yang calling out, "Announcing the arrival of Her Majesty, Princess Schnee!"

“Okay, okay!” she laughed easily, turning toward the kitchen. “You got me.”

“Yeah, I do,” Yang whispered as she pulled her in close for a hug and a kiss, ignoring the coos from the other side of the door. “Got you, Schnee. All mine forever.”

Weiss’s blue eyes sparkled with affectionate glee as she leaned heavily against the Dragon. Having so much to say, but finding in the end that she didn’t need to, anyway. All she had to do was whisper a few choice words against Yang’s smirking lips before they connected yet again.

“Hmph. What a brute.”

  THE END

[g-l-o-w-y-l-i-g-h-t-s]

Tag yourself, Dracula (novel) characters edition:

Arthur:

Would die for his gf

Abraham Van Helsing:

PhD. Md. Esqu. Fuck. you.

Nobody is sure wtf he's talking about

Schlemiel

Let's talk about corn 🌽

Constantly spewing ominous vague shit

I'll get over it I just have to cry about it first

Will trust one (1) person with his problems and only even that if he's reached a complete breakdown

Will quote absolute bullshit at you as if it is proven fact

"Parrots can't die. I'm an expert."

Currently in a foreign country

Would commit a crime

Genre savvy

Mr Swales:

Death is inevitable 😊

Incomprehensible speech

Renfield:

Weird diet

An outlier

Clingy

Eldritch princess

Ambitious

🥺🥺🥺🥺

Should not be allowed to have a cat

Cleans by just eating the mess

Eats a lot of meat

You can control him by giving him food

Probably a sub

Mentally ill

Lucy:

Polyam

Hot Girl Summer

Voluptuous

Miiiiight have eaten somebody

Quincy Morris:

Cowboy! 🤠

Infinite Swag

Can handle the wackest situations perfectly

Hottie

Has a gun

The Wyrd Sisters:

Read (3:21 pm)

Seward:

Desperate

Owns/runs a lunatic asylum

$$$

At least he's pretty

Straight A student

Least cool guy you've ever met

Mad scientist

Podcaster

Wtf is even happening rn

Something is Very Wrong with this man

schlimazel

Desperately needs a Nap. Exhausted

Down bad for Quincy Morris

Very proud of himself for having a thought that will almost be a whole idea any day now

"there must be a reasonable explanation"

Undiagnosed mental illness

Needs his comfort items

Needs validation so bad

Ableist af

Keeps a diary

Mina:

Loves her significant other so fuckimg much

Journals

Homoerotic best-friendship times!! ❣️

Knows her partner better than anyone

My best friend is soooooo pretty and funny and cool

Goth

Protective

Repressed bisexuality

Repressed in general

Romantic ASF

Same taste as Dracula

Has read Dracula

Owner of all the Team Braincells(tm)

Says shit like "Everyone loves me" and she's right

Gets shit done

Secretary and the whole operation would probably collapse without her

Dealing with sexism

Gets left out

Feral devotion to her partner

Traumatized

Special interest in trains

Train fiend!

Girlboss

Dislikes garlic ever since the incident

Dracula:

"please assume I am normal"

Lizard fashion

"I PROMISE I'm normal"

Teaboo

Cooks for his friends

"I am so normal"

Graveful and elegant in public but as soon as you look away he has to do 19828291 things to maintain his image before anyone notices

So many red flags

Likes bearded men

Will just grab something from you and yeet it away

Fucked up little guy

Rock/Wall climbing expert

Wants to be liked so bad

Fraudster

Identity theft

Unhinged

Very effective beauty routine

Did not think this through

Cannot pace himself

Does fucked up horrendous shit just for the fuck of it/to fuck with people

Terrible/non-existent decision making skills

"Anything is free if they don't catch you stealing"

Grumpy idiot

Same taste as Mina

Hairy

Self obsessed

Will do anything for meat

Hates garlic

Edgelord

Cringefail

Gives up immediately

"If I avoid the problem long enough it will go away "

Ugly/can't make that hat work for him

$$$$

Jonathan Harker:

White boy - has spices for the first time and it affects him like drugs

Never shuts up about food

"Ridiculous but also uncomfortable"

British (derogatory)

Red flags are so sexy to him

Wife guy!!

Going through it!!

Logical

Doing his best not to get murdered but it is a Task

Everyone wants him

Racist 😕

Someone please help him

"Not again"-his response to the wildest shit you've ever seen happen

Will hit a bitch with a shovel

Badass survival horror protagonist

Loves his wife!

The Horrors are neverending

Cinnamon roll

Mentally ill but refuses to fully acknowledge it

*gets money* Bribery time!

Feral rage unlocked!!!

White hair early from stress

[merklins]

i suck at listening to podcasts, but whats Hello From The Hallowoods? youve piqued my interest

HELLO FROM THE HALLOWOODS!! Oh man where do I even start with this one? There is SO MUCH TO IT...

So you know how a lot of series have a big catastrophic event, the kind that screws up the world and then your main characters get to go through all kinds of strange and unusual to get things back to normal? Right, so this podcast is that. That big catastrophic event. EXCEPT! It didn't get fixed. Our guys all exist as they do now as a result of that event AND IT'S ALL WELL AND COOL! "Yeah so what? The forests get weirder every day and so do I. Anyway I'm [], here are my pronouns, I gotta go now or else the library is going to smite me for these overdue books."

So you have ALL KINDS OF CHARACTERS! Skeletons. Werewolves from space. Old men who are lamenting the days when grounds keeping didn't involve magical bogs and musical ghosts. There's a genderfluid witch who controls the weather! There's business demons, frog people, a ghost dog named dogsmell (it smells like dog), a mushroom person with a walking museum, AND SO MANY MORE!

Story.. I really don't think I could do the story justice for you, but I'll see if someone else has made a good summary of it already! (Note after I finished typing this all: SOMEONE DID! It'll be the reblog right after this post.)

I'm trying to keep this as spoiler-free as possible, but I NEED to tell you about Lady Ethel Mallory. She's the one with the heart glasses I kept reblogging stuff about! I think you'd like her a lot. Basically, in the midst of this fucked up North America you have A SINGLE CORPORATION who's still hanging around trying to profit off of AN ENTIRE APOCALYPSE. How? Dreams! They deal in dreams. Nearly every character in the Hallowoods (fucked up North America) agrees that Botco (the corporation) is a bad bad thing and something they should never ever touch, but then Lady Ethel Mallory finds the most obnoxious moment in your dreams (in-podcast this story is being presented to you by a god-thing while you sleep) to tell you all about JUST HOW GOOD THIS PRODUCT IS. Except it's so hilarious because god-thing Nikignik (our podcast host) shuts down her advertisement ASAP and totally roasts her on live air, which she gets SO VERY PISSED ABOUT that she comes right back in the next episode to make a broadcast to every single person sleeping in North America about it. Every. Single. Person. Sleeping in North America has to hear Lady Ethel Mallory pettily respond to dream-hate-mail from a god-thing. It's great it's sooo funny, and even after she finds out that he might be a god-thing SHE DOESN'T STOP! SHE KEEPS INSULTING AND THREATENING THIS DUDE IN EVERYONE'S DREAMS. I love her so much, and every time I go through her tag I giggle because half of the content there is people talking about how much they hate her for snarking at Nikignik again while they're trying to listen to their favorite queer characters confess their love for eachother.

(NOTE AFTER I FINISHED THIS: I found an even better summary/pitch to listen to it! I'm reblogging it right after this is posted so you can read a really good review of the podcast. And? IT'S SPOILER-FREE!)

[crymeariveronceagain]

23 and 25 my friend

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

Ohhhh gosh. Okay, well. I usually write in my dorm room, sitting on my bed. The curtains are usually open, because while my roommate will leave them shut constantly, I need sunlight to function as a human being. So the curtains are pulled back, and the light is streaming in. Outside the window, there are a dusting of trees and hills that I've never climbed, primarily because it seems like a long walk, and I've just never worked up the courage and resilience. The school president's house is over there, somewhere, hidden behind a grove of trees. I went there once, and it was one of the coolest houses I've ever seen. He also was holding a party. That may have been part of the reason that it was so cool.

Anyways, in my dorm room, I have a ton of posters on the walls, and a tiny calendar. Almost all the posters are of impressionist paintings. They make me a little sad to look at, because I've never seen any of the real paintings. I'm surrounded by cheap reproductions of art that no man could ever buy, anymore. There's a watercolor painting on the back of my heavy wooden door. I did it myself, at a painting night. It's a post-apocalyptic picture of a sunset, with the wreck of a city in a valley, and nature slowly reclaiming what belongs to it. From the ruin, a tiny wisp of smoke floats up, and that's the only way you know that someone survived the horrors that came before. Then again, this was all painted by me, and I, my friends, am not a very good artist.

There are stacks of books on the desk next to my bed. I rarely sit there. It operates like a large shelf, coated in stacks of books and paper and art supplies, filled with pencils and notebooks and my first aid kid and stickers. It's a cute set up, for sure, and I would sit there much more often, if it weren't for a few things. The chair is the wrong height and the desk is an even worse height, so when you sit on the chair at the desk, your legs are stuck, slightly smashed, in between the desk and the chair. It's dreadfully annoying, so I sit on my bed.

My bed is covered in blankets, one from each of my grandmothers, and an ombre blue comforter. It's got pillows and my stuffed animals, who I always feel slightly self conscious about having, except in my head I know that every female college student has at least one stuffed animal, they just be better or worse at hiding them. I situate myself directly in the middle of my bed, and I will say, it's a very comfy place to be. I've got a lap desk my brother gave me for my birthday a while back, and it's cracked and chipped and beat up, covered in pencil dust and nail polish drippings, but I love it and love using it. I'll use it fairly often, if I remember, because it's a lot more comfortable for my back and head and posture. It also says "You're doing amazing!" at the top. I think it was made for a little kid. I don't care.

I've got a light on the edge of my desk, and once the sun starts to set, I have to turn it on. My roommate and I don't talk at all, for no reason except that we never tried, so she'll come in and out of the room. Her side of our room is cluttered. There's chaos everywhere on her side, overflowing bags of food and paper and stacks of books slowly cascading to meet their untimely end at the floor. Mine is mostly put together, except for the sloping stacks of books. Usually I put in earbuds and listen to music while I work, and some days I try to multitask and get two birds out of the way with one stone and listen to a podcast or youtube video at the same time as I write(not a good choice, either the writing will be garbage or I won't get anything out of the video).

The night wears on, and if I'm lucky I'll type out enough of a story to satisfy me. Around eleven, I'll feel my brain start to click off, and wind up watching something on Youtube for real, this time. I'll snap my laptop shut a little bit later than I wanted, originally, and then go get ready for bed, my head filled with a sort of static that usually only happens once you run out of words to say. If I take a shower, I'll have a mental breakthrough and probably write for another twenty minutes after i get out, simply because I know if I don't write down my idea, it will be lost to the sands of time.

Anyways. Yeah. that's what it looks like where I write my stories. :D

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

For a given fanfic character, probably that the Dizznees have a TV. It's irrelevant and I never use that scrap of information, primarily because I fantasize about living in a world without screens to haunt all of our interactions and free time. I don't want people to watch TV mindlessly. I want them to sit around a fire and enjoy each other's company. It's my fanfic writing, I'll do what I want.

For an original character.... uhm. Amy and Tessa met in third grade, after Tessa switched from private school to public school. *shrugs* It means nothing to you, and it's also completely irrelevant to the story about them. It's so focused on their current happening that the past happenings don't matter. Y'all don't even know what story they're from lol. I should post that sometime.

Thanks for the asks! From this ask game.

[thelikesoffinn]

I'm always astounded at how authors and actors can be so blasé about their characters.

Personally, I'd never shut up about my characters. I mean, I already hardly do! But if I was a published author?

Bitch, I'd be doing q&a's every Friday and I'd so be doing a podcast. Fuck, I'd be reading ff's about them! I'd never shut up, people would be so done with my shit after a week or two, but, like...these are my children. This is the closest I'll ever be to motherhood. Obviously I'll talk about them all the time! What else did you expect!?

[kipo-lacks-thoughts]

rant ☺️

thinking about how when I went to a luncheon there were large cardboard boxes for the kids to play with in the living room, and I immediately climbed in one. My mother scolded me for being so childish, "get out of that box, you're (my age) not five." and then I got out of the box and sat down on the bench. About 4 seconds later the lady that owned the house told my mother that that box had been practically lived in for the last 2 weeks days by a child my exact age am I not living how I should? Is the childhood given to me devoid of the youthful activities I should've been allowed? she looks at me weird when I do anything that isn't well mannered, and then says "well she's a teenager, teenagers" and she'll scoff at me in public. I'll remind her, im not. Im not a teen, im a child, and the fact im taller than her doesn't help. I act mature because I was raised to act mature.my height is beneficial to nothing other than outside opinions at this point. She'll tell me im too big for a playground, when I'll show her the sign and im still young enough to play. She'll tell me I need to act my age, but I am, im not as old as you treat me, woman. She'll talk to me about nothing positive ever, she only compliments me when it's necessary, completely visibly mandatory that her duty as a mother requires a level of support for a child, nothing she's ever complimented me on has ever came from her honest opinion and I can see it in her face and hear it in her voice. I put a selfie in a group chat and my friend told me I was beautiful. I almost cried, because nobody other than my mother or father has ever said that to me to my face in my life, and they do so less and less and less as the years go by. One moment that really stuck with me is when I told my mom I was painting 6 Potoos on canvases. She blankly said "ugh, what a waste of canvases." Those words are the clearest sentence I can remember anyone ever speaking to me in my life from that long ago. I got to art class and never finished the birds, honestly, they do look like shit, really, not joking, and it was genuinely a waste. Of paint. A waste of paint, not of canvases. Pretty fucking hard to waste two $2.50 packs of three 4x6 inch canvases. from dollar general. Another thing she talks to me about is her problems, and I listen, and I should, she deserves someone to talk to. But when I'm the only one she does about these things, it makes me feel like she talks to me as someone that's simply commanded to listen and not her child. When she learned I knew what sex was, it's game over. She talks to me about sex every other fucking day and it drives me insane. I don't want to know my father's cock size, I don't want to know the biggest penis she's ever seen and the smallest one she's ever seen. I don't want to know about sex with my dad and how annoying his libido is. I also dont want to hear about the politics, the government. 90% of our conversations are one sided rants about politics or sex. She sat down with me at a chick fil a this week and talked to me about politics for an hour. I wanted her to shut up so I could eavesdrop on the people behind me who were talking about Mario lore and shit. Another thing that disturbs me is her book collection. It's got so many books on parenting. I'll open one every once in a while, and like clockwork it's something that she's used on me. Nothing that ever made me feel anything but worthless ofc. She listens to podcasts talk about people. Usually descriptions of terms that would qualify on a lot of my friends or just random things like trends or jokes or memes. Like mewing. Doctor nurse momma did NOT have to teach my mother how to mew. Then there's things that would describe me, talking about furries, or different sexualities or genders, people that change their names. These podcasts never have anything true or nice to say about me or the people I know. Human beings who claim to be loving of their neighbors can still make them feel like they want to die. Don't listen to people that claim to be so good yet make you feel so shitty

[purpsimmies]

Purp Podcast

Addisyn's giggles fill the audio as 1000 Blunts from $uicideboy$ plays in the background. There's more voices and probably the tv on a sports channel.

Malcolm Landgraab tells someone in the background, "we're starting, shut-up!"

"Ey, let's grill those hot dogs we stole that other day." Addi's grandfather was talking to her dad about dinner.

Malcolm groans and proceeds on another friendly banter with Addi's grandfather. Malcolm just wants to start the podcast already. "Go on, baby. Tell us why we're here, Addisyn."

Addi blushes. "Yeah like I was telling you the other night, I wanted you to start a podcast." There's silence, but Malcolm is smiling at Addi. Of course, she continues to blush. "What?" she moans. "You said to tell you."

"Yeah but keep talking. You had way more to say that night than just start a podcast. Also, who have you been hanging out with? Who put you on Suicide Boys?"

"You did!"

"When!?"

"Every time we're..."

Malcolm chuckles after Addi trails off. "It's okay we don't gotta tell people our business like that."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"You making it sound like we're dating or something. Don't confuse your listeners."

"That's something else we talked about. It's okay, because I know what you're doing. You want to keep it professional on here, but I'm letting everyone know right now I'm marrying this woman."

"Malcolm!"

"You hear that!? Hear how she says my name? I know you hear that!"

Addi laughs. "You're not getting the purpose of this podcast."

"I understand, perfectly. I understand the assignment. I want you to keep telling them what you were saying that night, tho. I'm not going to interrupt anymore, I promise."

"You ran away from the Landgraab mansion and I want to dive a little deeper into that all while helping you gain recognition and money and power."

"You really think I'm going to gain recognition and money and power out of all of this?"

"I do. I think so. I hope I can keep asking you questions and advising you the way I've been doing since I first met you."

"I want you to. I'm here, because of you. If this shit makes you happy, I'll do whatever you want."

...

"My mother, just recently, got addicted to cocaine. She quickly realized she was burning through all her money so her team did a little bit of research and concluded she should enter into the marijuana business. So to support her cocaine addiction, she ran to her long lost brother, Johnny... Landgraab? Who fucking knows. Johnny was kicked out of the family one Christmas, because my great grandmother caught him smoking marijuana in the bathroom during the holiday dinner. He's been living in a trailer ever since he was shunned from the family. That motherfucker has some jokes, we gotta bring him on sometime. Anyway. Johnny grows some stank ass weed. Nancy bought the rights to his strain and now makes him grow the plants for her industry. Johnny is pissed but he still sticks around to oversea the progress of his plants. I was seeing how my mom was manipulating this whole thing to her favor and I ran away. The only place I could think of running to was this trailer, Johnny's trailer. He welcomed me with open arms. I was a little shit when I first got here and he put up with a lot from my part, but he never made me feel like this wasn't my home. I learned a lot about weed through him. I'm in love with the plant now and so I had my father make some phone calls so that I can legally smoke this shit. I'm just chilling right now, but Addi is right... I'm gonna get that money and power."

[footballandfiasco]

denmark-version!! 🇩🇰

1. actually. it could have barely gotten any better! i was going to root for them anyway, because i really enjoyed their run last euros! so 9/10 😁

2. i would say i know the team fairly well? i know a lot of the players from their clubs, and i am also quite familiar with their 💫legacy💫. also, one of my favourite podcasters in german is of danish heritage and he never shuts up about it so i know a lot about them without ever asking for it! :)

3. father kasper 🤲 he seems like a solid guy, understands the team, understands the fans! handled the eriksen situation last euros extremely admirably & i have a lot of respect for that!

4. it's alright. basic red which makes it...kind of boring. hummel makes kits usually, i think its right in the middle of my overall kit ranking. also like the away kit better.

5. simon kjaer!! & kasper schmeichel! <3

6. i have no particular reason to dislike any of them i think. but i'm not vibing with jonas wind though i know him from the bundesliga. its the hair i think...football players need to stop the bleaching

7. i've always wanted to visit kopenhagen & aarhus!! so i'll do a lovely city trip there :)

8. A) Lego (the game for kids) was invented by a Dane. B) The Danish flag is the oldest in the world. C) It is strongly advertised to not drink Denmarks tap water because of its quality. (lmao i also had google these so no offense when the true ones are actually incorrect)

9. I don't think they are winning. But I think they could pull of the semi-finals again.

footyblr euros sweepstake ask game

Tell us your assigned country, and go off...

On a scale of 😁 to "no", how enthusiastic are you about this assignment?

And how well do you feel you know this team?

What vibes does the gaffer give off?

The kits. Yes or no?

Favourite player

Least favourite player

You've been teleported to your assigned country. What's top of your to-do list?

Tell us two truths and a lie about your assigned team/country.

Expectations for this team at Euro 2024: are you winning the lot?