#I'll never not miss them

[aaron-is-comatose]

This is a long post about me processing my feelings as of late so read with caution

I kind of feel like im starting to recover from my breakup ? Maybe it's too soon to say because it's basically been 3 days . Which is kinda wild for a relationship that was 3 years long

Ive never really been through a kind of break up like this before and i don't exactly know its phases

Sometimes i feel guilty for feeling fine, like im not as sad as i should be, but then other times im at work and i feel like im on the verge of sobbing

I wish i had the forsight to know what it ill be like in the future, if I'll ever get to talk to them again or if it would be worth getting over them if not

I guess i wish our last conversation wasn't a sad good bye . It doesn't feel right, like the way we came in should be a similar way we go out

But nothing has to be so definite right now . They left me a line of communication if i ever want to come back, whenever i feel like it, whether it's a month from now, or a year from now or etc, so technically it's not exactly over

I guess i don't really know where I'm going with this, I'm still trying to make sense of my emotions now that I'm kind of feeling fine right now

Maybe I'll update this later

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

[jennalouisecolemans]

I was hoping it’d be you.

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

[fist-of-vengeance]

so what do we think fiddleford saw when he looked into the gremloblin's eyes? dude was so traumatised that stanford "oblivious to my assistant's emotional turmoil" pines took notice. it's what motivated him to INVENT THE MEMORY GUN IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'm honestly surprised i haven't seen more speculation about this

[shima-draws]

Worst feeling ever is when you go to reread a fic you really like and find out it's been deleted. Even WORSE worst feeling ever is checking the author's profile and finding out they've deleted all of their fics entirely

[banditblvd]

We're not handling it very well guys

Here's where i got the idea I'm not funny enough to think of this myself

[kaiserouo]

he's a nom nom warframe

[royalarchivist]

Quackity: If you guys don't mind, I would like to... have some... Would you like to say some words for my daughter?

Felps: I want to, I want to. Pasta, bus, iron box–

Cellbit: Not random words! Beautiful words, Felps!

Pac: [Laughing] Stop!

Quackity: Yeah yeah yeah– it's words about my daughter, words about my daughter.

Felps: Oh ok. Egg, dead–

Cellbit: I'm sorry that your dad was a vagabundo.

HUGE thank you to @xurviving for double-checking my translations and transcript for this clip!

[Full Transcript & Translation ↓ ]

—

Quackity: Let's have a moment of silence, for my, uh... Remember not to click it! If you click it, it disappears forever, so...

Felps: Wait– [Sad sniff] Oh my god!

Mike: She's so pretty! She's so pretty.

Felps: [Overlapping with Mike] Ah, don't click. Don't click for the love of god!

Pac: Quackity, what was she called?

Quackity: Yeah, I would- I would– If you guys don't mind, I would like to... have some... Would you like to say some words for my daughter?

Felps: I want to, I want to.

Mike: Yeah.

Pac: Yes, yes.

Felps: Pasta, bus, iron box–

Cellbit: Not random words, beautiful words, Felps!

Pac: [Laughing] Stop!

Mike: I will say– I will say, ohh–

Felps: No, I said some words. I said some words for her.

Cellbit: No! You're supposed to say beautiful things! See–

Mike: Don't talk, don't talk.

Quackity: Yeah yeah yeah– it's words about my daughter, words about my daughter.

Mike: Say it, say it!

Felps: Oh ok. Egg, dead–

Cellbit: I'm sorry that your dad was a vagabundo.

[All the Brazilians laugh]

Quackity: Ok...

Mike: This Egg lying on the bed is such a bilontra.*

Pac: What was her name?

Quackity: [Notices Cellbit's speech bubble translation] WHAT THE FCK! What the hell??? Why'd you say that to my daughter? I was not a vagabundo!

Mike: No no no no!

Cellbit: No no no– You understand– it was mistranslation! I didn't say that.

Quackity: Oh, of course, of course, of course...

Mike: He said, "Her father was... vagabundo."

Cellbit: No I didn't! Stop, no–! [Unintelligible]

Pac: [Unintelligible]

Cellbit: Stop exposing me, man! Stop, oh– she's n– You crazy man!

Quackity: So let me ask you guys something–

Cellbit: I didn't say that, I didn't say that, I said "I hope she had a very beautiful life." I mean, she's dead, but anyways– **

Felps: Yeah, [she] doesn't have anymore–

Quackity: No, no, she had a horrible life, actually.

Pac: Maybe she can have a very beautiful death too.

Cellbit: No, I didn't! Stop it–

—

Translator's notes:

* Hard to translate. Smartass...?

** Expression to say someone's acting out of their mind

[airu27-rkgk]

Moomintober Day 01 • on the bridge

find the prompts here!

[sabo-torao]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAW!!!

[stubz]

"You said you'd be better after the Tri-Eclipse festival, when we all come back from vacation."

"Yeah that's right."

"Will you promise me that you'll run with me when we get back?"

"...I'll do my best. Yeah. I'll do my best buddy."

.

"Max when we get back after the holidays will you run with me?"

"Yeah. I'll start training, practice running."

"Oh yeah, cause it's been a long time since you ran."

"Yeah...almost 2 months...wow."

..

"Got any plans for the 2 weeks we get off?"

"Yeah I'm gonna train."

"Train for what?"

"Running. I told the kids I'd run with them when we get back."

"Aww that's cute. But yeah you need to test things out right? Start off slow so as to not overdue it when you play with them again."

"Yeah...wanna hear something funny?"

"Sure."

"I, I miss running. I know I said I hate running and that I only ran with the kids because it's good exercise but...I miss it." he puts down his fork. Staring at his plate of food from the ship's cafeteria. He continues.

"I had a dream last night. I was on Earth, in a field of tall grass and flowers, it was summer. The sun was shining, a beautiful warmth on my skin, with a cool gentle breeze on my skin. I was barefoot. I could run and I ran for miles. I ran even after my lungs were on fire, even when the sun went down...I miss running."

"Mmm"

...

Going on field trip. Yanosh came early so we took the noon shuttle. Come as soon as you can. Shuttle A-11.

'I didn't know we had a field trip today.' he thought after reading the text Kim sent.

He grabbed his hoodie and the other emergency bag and made his way to the shuttles. Luckily the A-11 was an express and he would be wherever it was going in 20 minutes.

12 minutes into the ride he noticed that they were approaching Earth.

....

Turn left in 200 meters...You have reached your destination.

"...ha haha hahahahaha! Are you guys serious?!"

"Surprise Max!!"

In front of the young man was his class of youngling alien children (with a handful of humans ones), co-worker and friend. Standing in a field of tall grass and flowers. Yanosh and Kim held a banner saying congratulations.

"I know you've been training in the gym but I thought you'd want your first real run to be somewhere...special."

He scooped his friend into a hug. Then pulled in the children until they were all sent crashing down into a pile full of laughter and giggles.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, yeah definitely!"

"READY KIDS?!"

"YEAH!"

"LET'S GOOO!"

And for the first time in 2 months human Max ran. Past the slowest ones first. He tried to pat every one of them on the head as he flew bye. Broke through the pack of the average runners. A laugh trailed behind him. One by one surpassed the faster one's. His unused lungs somehow allowing him to whoop in-between pants.

He raced every child. Played every game he could not play before. Carried those who longed to be carried again. He ran despite the burning in his lungs and the sweat in his eyes. He ran through the pain in his feet and the exhaustion in his body until he collapsed.

Laying there in the dirt surrounded by the children and his friend he smiled. And he wore that smile in his sleep on the way back to the centre.

[silvermahogany]

i miss my fucking WIFEEEEUEEEUEUEUEUEUEEEE

[iamchaos1234]

Them ♡

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[letterex-fyofm]

Honestly, contrary to popular opinion, I don't mind rare pairs. And when I say I don't mind, I mean I can really get to enjoy them. For example, I can't tell you how many pairs with Yamaguchi I've read in the past years. Like, I can't count. Yamayachi? So cute and so wholesome. Yamayama? Kageyama having a crush on Tadashi is just such a cute idea, and there are several dope fics about them. Kuroyama (don't ask, I was myself surprised but there are a couple of good fics about them)? It can be so freaking funny. Osayama? Osamu literally told Yamaguchi he would make onigiri for him one day, and not only he did, but there was a panel of I think Yamaguchi helping him in the kitchen? THAT IS SO CUTE.

The same goes for Tsukki, to an extent. I don't usually engage in fanfiction or fanart that has any Tsukki pairs besides tskym, mostly because my head (which is hard af) can't see it most of the time. BUT, I can see it - in some way. Like, Tsukikage? It would be so funny that after all this time bickering and picking on each other (tho most of that was Tsukishima so) they'd like each other. Tsukihina? That is so funny and cute at the same time. Overall, most of my opinions on Tsukki rarepairs are "Can't see it but this is so funny actually, like I would read things about them." And the art is so cute!

However...nothing kills me more than when I read a fic where tskym is entirely platonic...but only for one part. Like?!?!?!?!

Every time I encounter things like Yamaguchi having unrequited love or Tsukki being the one who suffers through that breaks my heart, and I'm like "NOOOOOOOOOVDUOSDOFJOJFSFJ"

And this really goes for any fic, honestly. I usually am so sad whenever I read something with love triangles because even if the pair I like is endgame, I feel so sad for the other one who was left.

LIKE NOOOOO DON'T BREAK MY HEART LIKE THIS

This really shows the type of reader I am, where if everyone doesn't end up happy me neither. I just contemplate the meaning of life after.

[backmarkerr]

please....can u speak on the conspiracy

So the conspiracy (more like a theory, really) is that Kimi was pushed out of the team starting in 2008 to make way for Fernando, who was more appealing to the big sponsor coming in. Before you click out thinking "Max, that's stupid, no team would throw a championship for a sponsor." I agree! But keep in mind that they didn't throw the championship, they fully expected to win the WDC with Felipe (and almost did) and did in fact win the WCC in 2008 with Felipe and Kimi despite everything. But there were really suspicious things going on. So with that in mind...

It's 2008. Kimi has just won Malaysia, the second race of the season. Three days after his win, there's this:

.

Ok, kinda weird, but whatever. F1 runs on rumours, right? Suggesting that Kimi might retire when he's doing so well is silly. And in the article they seem to be pretty ambivalent over whether it would be Felipe or Kimi to leave.

Fast forward to Spain two races later. Kimi scores his second win of the season and takes the championship lead. The season is shaping up pretty well for the defence of the title, you’d think this would be a good time for him, but again, the story du jour is Ferrari wanting Alonso in Kimi’s seat for 2009.

[x] I guess now we know at least Massa's seat is secure...?

If you’re like me, that sounds stupid. The reigning champion just won the last GP and his contract runs until the end of 2010, so this media narrative makes no sense. Something pretty catastrophic would have to happen for that to ever come to fruition, right?

So anyway, he gets a first row start in Monaco. Great, that's almost a surefire win/points, right? Wrong, he got a drive-through penalty due to the team not fitting the wheels to the car on time before the race start. Not a great race and he ends up outside of the points. Lewis is now ahead in the WDC by 3 points. Not really a disaster, but...

[x] what on earth...

[x] again the talk of retirement.... I mean, it's weird, right?

Zero points in Canada due to being rear-ended in the pitlane, which the team can’t control. Then he’s back to being neck to neck with his teammate and Lewis by the time the British GP is done in early July, with all three drivers on 48 points. Good news, right? Just gotta stay on track and not fuck it up somehow.

[x] sigh... (this one's a little harder to source as it was printed media, but I've seen this exact interview quoted in different pages)

So anyway, they change his front suspension for the next race in Germany. Kimi has always been very sensitive to changes in the car, so he knew something was wrong. Ferrari (via Michael, who was then head of development) say he's just not adapting well to the upgrades. Maybe, sure, but why aren't you bringing upgrades that are geared towards your world champion?

(an interesting remark from Mark Hughes here if you scroll down to the comments, which adds weight to Kimi not being listened to when it came to car development in 2008)

Bar a podium in Hungary, Kimi scores 0 points in 4 out of the next 5 races. It takes until either Monza or Singapore (hello crashgate!) for Ferrari to put his suspension back as it was.

He proceeds to get 3 podiums in the remaining 3 races but it’s not enough to catch up. By Singapore he was already 27 points behind his teammate (reminder this is the old points system) and very much expected to play the supporting role. In the penultimate race in China he very obviously gave up P2 to his teammate:

"I know what the team expects." [x] / [x]

Yet the narrative in the media and from Ferrari themselves is that his motivation is bad and he's not assertive. It was so pervasive that to this day people still parrot it and say he just didn’t care after 2007, despite Kimi always stating he was fully committed and clearly getting annoyed whenever journalists asked about his motivation even years later.

Montezemolo at the end of 2008 even 'joked' that "Kimi in the recent races was replaced two or three times by a friend, but next year he'll be back." Basically saying that Kimi wasn't really present, you know? An interesting thing to say when this absent driver scored 18 points in the last 3 races (three consecutive P3s), while the one who was amazing and had the team's full backing scored 20 (P7, P2, P1).

A whole 2 points' difference, maybe someone should hire that "friend"...

So why did they do this?

Well, the theory is that Santander (I promise this isn’t like the dumb Sainztander takes) wanted a Spanish-Brazilian lineup due to financial interests (Spanish bank, big market in South America with a looming IPO in Brazil), so Kimi was basically being pressured out of the team from early 2008 onwards. Like I said at the start, the team weren’t really throwing away 2008, as they expected to win the WCC with both drivers (they did) and Massa to be able to win the WDC, which would of course be beneficial for their new sponsor. And he almost did. Almost.

[x] they're not in charge of driver selection but this specific driver line-up would good for them. (this archived copy of the article is from 2010, but the text makes it clear it's from 2009)

Of course at this point we have to wonder if a team like Ferrari would bow down to a sponsor's demands. I can't tell you what the internal considerations were or how much money was on the line, but it's also not like Santander were telling them to get rid of Kimi for a bad driver, you know? Fernando is a great driver, so from Ferrari's perspective they were just trading a great driver for another great driver who also appealed to this huge sponsor, and an Alonso-Massa line-up would be solid. And with the previous talk that Ferrari and Alonso had already inked a deal in 2008... It's just difficult to believe there isn't a grain of truth here.

So the alleged initial plan of having Alonso in 2009 was foiled when Kimi activated the renewal option in his contract. It was then that he was bought out of his last year (apparently paid for by Santander).

[from the book The Unknown Kimi Raikkonen]

As we can see, by the end Kimi was also fed up with what was going on, especially people pointing the finger at him and at his motivation, and his frustration is very clear in interviews like here at 2.35 and here:

Publicly, Ferrari said they wanted someone more in line with how Michael used to be (ironic since Montezemolo allegedly didn’t like how Michael made the team his), who could communicate with the team and give better feedback (ironic when Todt, Dyer, Stella and others said Kimi was very clear and precise.) Kimi himself has always stated that he wasn’t the issue, that his motivation was never lacking and that the real reason he was pushed out was politics and money.

[x]

[x]

If it had only been the mechanical stuff, I’d be willing to chalk it up to just bad luck and incompetence. Shit happens. But with all the rumours around it even before things went bad on the track and Kimi stating that his work and performance weren't the reason he was let go it becomes impossible for me to think there wasn’t an actual push going on to replace him.

Hell, even famed Ferrari fanboy Sebastian Vettel didn't think it was realistic for Kimi to return to Ferrary in 2014 precisely because Kimi isn't one for "bullshit" and "politics". Why would he choose to say that specifically? And according to Finnish media Kimi’s 2014 Ferrari negotiations included Montezemolo personally apologising to him. Now why would he apologise if they hadn’t done something wrong?

Personally I think Kimi's "certain people did certain things" refers to this. He never trashed anyone and always said he had no ill-feelings. And I believe him. But it doesn't mean nothing happened, lest we forget how well he handled Lotus not paying him.

The thing that really bothers me is that Kimi got the reputation for having low motivation and not caring about what he was doing (I heard that take just last month from an F1 youtuber, how Fernando was hired in 2010 because Kimi had mentally checked out 🙄), when obviously someone who wasn’t motivated and didn’t care would have simply called it quits under these circumstances. Instead he got P3 in the standings in 2008 (I know he’s talented, but he must have been trying at least a little), trained hard to lose enough weight to use KERS in 2009 (why would he do that if he didn’t care) and took the team’s only win that year despite the car being shit. Interestingly, pundits acknowledged his good performance complicated things when it came to Ferrari’s rumoured hiring of Alonso. So imagine how much more complicated things would have been had Kimi done better in 2008?

Anyway, this is long, but if you want something longer then I definitely recommend this post here. You might not agree completely with the original authors (there are parts where I wish there was more info), but I think they offer a lot of good research and information regarding the overall situation back in 2008/2009, and it's a good jump-off point for your own research.

But yeah. 2008 could have been everything. Or at least better.