#I'll make that old man tired for the rest of his damn life if given the chance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deputy-buck · 1 year ago

Text

Good Coffee and Good Mornings

Maybe it’s their shared childhood trauma, or their rigorous training provided by good ‘ol Uncle Sam, but neither Gutterson boy can sleep past 06:30. It’s not like their jobs allow for them to get too slack on their sleep schedules anyway, Tim being in the Marshal Service, Cade being in the Fish and Wildlife Protection Service, both up and out the door before the sun most days.

Habits die hard or don’t die at all in what’s left of this family.

They find each other in the kitchen at 06:12.

Cade, with a cup of coffee in his hand and dressed for work, is waiting patiently for his biennial ‘Big Brother Duties’. He doesn’t move an inch when Tim walks silently through the threshold in boxers and a pre-caffeine scowl, but he does track all of Tim’s movements with his eyes. Early August’s morning sunshine is just starting to peek through the blinds above the sink, tinting the light countertops and dark hardwoods so many shades of orange that it feels like they’re bathing in it. He only gets to have this familiarity for two weeks every other year, he’s going to soak it up.

The younger man only has two things in mind: Good coffee and a forehead kiss. In that order.

"I should be back before nineteen hundred." Cade breaks the morning peace, taking another mouthful of coffee while he watches his little brother grab a cup from the top shelf, having to arch up on his tippy-toes to reach the off-white handle of a coffee cup. It wasn’t intentional, but what’s normal height to Cade is a little high for Tim, eight inches between them and all.

"Mm." Tim grunts, voice sleep rough. He's already grabbing the coffee pot before his heels even reconnect with the ground, pouring steaming liquid to the brim and taking a sip all with his eyes half closed.

God, this shit's good, Tim thinks to himself.

"I got work tomorrow, too." Cade leads on with an extra hint-hint nudge-nudge to his tone, southern drawl thick and taunting. He's fighting back a smile at Tim's unobservance, happy Tim isn't immediately on high alert in his house.

Cade worked hard from day one of Tim’s life to make his little brother feel unconditionally safe in his presence, it wasn’t easy given where they grew up, but damn it if Cade didn’t do everything he could to make himself Tim’s personal safe haven. And now Tim feels safe here, Cade could never ask for anything more. Cade only hopes that Tim feels like this place is his home as well.

"Mm-hmm." It’s more so a hum this time, throat soothed with high-quality caffeine. Tim can tell his big brother is still in the ‘wow, I can buy nice things without feeling guilty about wasting it because of surprise deployments.’ phase of Vet-Life eight years later. Good for him.

"You just want me to tell you 'bye' right now so I'll have to say it again in an hour, huh?" The older man accuses, smile finally splitting his features in two. He wishes he could have this every morning, the easy flow between them, a quiet yet full morning. He’s tired of an empty house. No, he’s tired of not having Tim around anymore; the six dogs, ferret, and red-tailed Boa fill the house plenty. Not to mention the goddamn horse outside.

"Mm, not bye, just good mornin’." Tim corrects easily, eyes now fully shut, enjoying the familiar ease of summer mornings in Shelby, Texas.

"You're still mentally like, eleven, ain't you?” Cade throws his arm around Tim’s shoulders, putting most of his weight down for a moment just to be an ass. “Same height at least."

"I enjoy routine and tradition, sue me." Tim says, pointedly not responding to the age-old jab verbally. Instead, he leans his shoulder into Cade’s side, digging the sharp bone into sensitive nerves layered over the taller man’s ribs. He only lets up when Cade squirms and takes the weight off his shoulders. Cade lets his hand rest on the countertop behind Tim’s back, his forearm pressed to blanket-warm skin.

This feels right. Why did this ever have to fade away? The plastic dog door flaps open as Tracker makes her way through it excitedly having heard Tim, i.e. her favorite human. Tim is suddenly being pressed harder into the body he was only leaning on, big, spotted paws on his side pushing him closer while Cade cranes his neck down to reach Tim’s forehead.

“Good mornin’, Bubba.” Cade murmurs with his lips pressed between the shorter man’s eyebrows. When the hand previously resting on the lacquered wood comes down to pet his prized hunting dog, his fingers land on a set of spindly digits already blindly scratching through short fur. “You need to pluck your unibrow.”

“Fuck you, man. I come here to get away from whiny old men, not deal with a different one.” Tim outright whines, eyes finally opening to glare at Cade in that stupidly petulant way he’s capable of even at forty.

#thought i'd release this from it's google doc jail cell before I completely forgot about it #tim gutterson #cade gutterson #oc #justified #justified fx #buck builds

11 notes · View notes

thessalian · 9 months ago

Text

Thess vs the Tenakth

Yeah, so, finally go to No Man's Land, and this has been a tiiiiiiiime...

Right. I should go deal with that bunch of former Shadow Carja. Because they're not in a great place and Oseram asshole guy just wants to make their lives even harder.

Sir, I would be more forceful about making you go down the mountain but you are in no shape to go down the mountain. Just ... stay there while I harvest things.

...Well. Fuck. Fine, maybe the nice lady will be a smarter leader than you. And I have satellite dish thing.

Hey, sir? Oseram Asshole, sir? You reaaaaaally don't want to fuck with me. Now go away. Yeah, there you go. And you, ma'am? Go take this ludicrous amount of money and go make a life where you're not one breath away from dying of exposure, starvation, and ... well, frankly depression. Shoo.

Right. On we go to... Oh, hey, hunting stuff! You want me to rip the power cores off Scroungers? Cool. Done. Now what? ...Oh. You want me to herd a bunch of these things together so I can shock them to death. How about "no"? Does "no" work for you? Blegh. I am a hunter, not a herder, kthxbai.

Right. Barren Light. ...Oh, wait, green exclamation point. ...Carja Dude, you are an asshole. If we were going to rebuild the world after the machine plague, could we at least have found a cure for 'asshole'? No? Fine, I'll do your fucking job.

Ah. Machines. Bye, machines.

Oh, hey, hi! You want these things I've been pulling off satellite dishes? Please, take them. I am tired of lugging the damn things around. And you want that one up there. Cool. I needed more practice at grapple hooking anyway.

And now, Barren Light. Oh. Hi, sir. What do you need? ...The gates open. Right. ME TOO. LET ME GET RIGHT ON THAT. Just lemme make sure I'm adequately supplied, and... You think Eclipse are still around, Prisoner Kid? Well, lemme deal with the gate thing and-- Oh. Hi Erend. How're you doing? ...Drunk, injured, and with your fee-fees hurt as much as your ribs. Great. Okay. No, seriously, I'd have you with me if I could but while I do care about your fee-fees, I also care about your ribs, so please just stay there and self-medicate. You want to come with me? Come with me uninjured and sober.

...Okay, how the fuck did you override a Charger without a doohickey, Varl? Did I leave an overriden one lying around for you to find? What? (Also how many raccoons did you run over on the way here? I would like to feel less alone about having done that.)

Look, will you OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE MY STUPID FRIEND FOLLOWS ME INTO-- Thank you, Erend. Also ... well, fuck.

"Marshals - an ancient name for protectors"-- Yeah, okay, dunno if military or municipal, but I take it that none of the Old World relics had any ACAB graffiti. "But now judge, jury, and executioner"-- Municipal, then. I'd say ACAB but you seem pretty decent. Wait... is this why so much of the Carja military is made of asshole - because their common sense basically joined up with the Tenakth? Well, good to have you back, sir.

Okay, so I have right of passage and yet you want me to be at your Embassy anyway? Do I look like a diplomat to you? And please, please keep joining the rest of the planet in rubbing my need for allies in my face. It's been ... what, a whole five minutes?

Okay, Vuadis, you can do your job now-- Waitwut.

WUT.

Oh, fuck a bunch of this.

SYLENS, YOU ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF DOUCHE-CANOE! (I will be madder at you if I am not allowed to ride the big metal dilophosaurus. I don't normally bother with riding the machines but I will make an exception for big metal dilophosaurus.)

...Okay, did we have to have quite that level of gore?

Oh, hey, I beat your stupid shield to death! Really not liking them forcing me into melee combat, mind you. Even if I am better at it than I thought I was going to be.

So ... that ... was not an Embassy; that was a slaughter. Not that I'm not used to those, given how the machines attacked the Nora. And of course we can't have the Carja come to the Tenakth and go, "Look, we see you have an enemy and they murdered the family of the Sun-King, so let's join forces and obliterate these assholes". Because Politics. So instead there's me. Yay.

"Time for some salvage boys", my entire ass; I KILLED THE FUCKING THINGS. YOU CAN HAVE WHAT I LEAVE.

I ... beat your stupid shield to death and now it is a glider. Awesome.

Okay, that all happened, and now I have access to the Forbidden West! ...Shame I have to go back and investigate that dude's claims of an Eclipse resurgence, but eh, at least I have a campfire past the gate now.

But for the time being, I need a screen break. Well, also to check IMDB. Chris McKenna, you are awesome; how the fuck have you done relatively little bar B-movies and soap opera spots? Angela Bassett - always a pleasure. Okay, who voiced Vuadis? Keythe Farley. I know that name-- Oh. OH. Dude, Keythe Farley has range. That whimpering little piece of self-importance is THANE FUCKING KRIOS. I knew there was something bugging me about that voice.

Right. Break, painkillers, and then a little more of this. I keep forgetting how much the Horizon games are basically entirely my jam. If I need Zen, I can Zen-hunt. If I need problem-solving, I can do climbing things. But if someone doesn't give me a way to ignite Firegleam so I can go further exploring soon, I am going to throttle somebody.

#Thess plays video games #Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West

3 notes · View notes

cheekygreenty · 3 years ago

Text

Little Witch - Part 14

The Darkling x Reader

You felt fine after dinner, the food quickly replenishing your dwindled physique, but you didn't go back to work. You took Aleksander's advice and took the rest of the day to rest and take your mind off the countless tasks you had. There was one thing you needed to do though and that was thank Zoya for today.

She didn't have to do any of it, in fact, you believed she hated you from the minute you interrupted Aleksander's meeting. You were told by a servant she was out training Inferni's and so you made your way down to the Etherialki training grounds. She stood there, the image of a goddess. Her dark hair fell down her blue kefta in defined curls, collecting small snowflakes.

There was no indication she'd been involved in a deadly attack a mere 4 hours ago. Saints, I think I have a crush on Zoya. Nevertheless, you walked over to her, calling out her name to grab her attention.

'Deputy, how are you feeling?' She looked worried yet relieved to see you standing in front of her on both of your legs.

'Y/N will do Zoya.'

'Alright then'

'Thank you for today. I don't know what came over me.'

'We all have our moments. Some of us just hide them better' You couldn't tell whether that was a dig at you or not.

'You're an amazing soldier Zoya. I'm very impressed'

'Well I didn't just sleep my way to the top if that's what you're implying.' She turned her addicting gaze away from you, studying the young Infernis.

'I beg your pardon?' You were taken aback.

'How's your leg?' She tried to change the topic but you weren't ready to.

'What do you mean Zoya, spit it out.'

'You know what I mean Y/N.' Why was she avoiding the conversation if she brought it up in the first place?

'Are you and Gener-' Is this another thing he had lied to me about? You vaguely remember thinking the two had been involved when you seen them in the same room but it passed quickly, surely he would have told you, especially if it was with one of his most trusted Grisha? The thought was another painful blow to your gut. They just kept on coming. You couldn't finish your sentence for she already answered it.

'No.'

'Zoya'

'Not anymore... Alina is here now' The strong feisty woman was gone now, in her place was a hurt and rejected woman. You were old enough to see it, you had been her before, hell you were her now. You looked at her striking beauty, thought about her incredible skills, and then stupidly compared yourself to her. If he rejected her, you're next. Your silence must have comforted her more than words could, for she shrugged her shoulders and said

'He keeps saying she's his equal, the day to his night' His equal. That's what Alina said.

'You don't need anyone Zoya. I can promise you you'll amount to great things on your own.' Despite the hurt you felt, you focused on her.

'Well as of right now I'm stuck to skiff trips and when you request me' You eyed her inquisitively 'Our dear General's doings.' she admitted.

'What gave you such an honor' you teased.

'I got into a riff with the precious Sun-Summoner after she vexed me.' She shut her eyes tightly as if trying to forget the memory.

'She doesn't strike me as the vexing type-' Your conversation was quickly interrupted when an Inferni accidentally set alight more than just the mannequin and Zoya scrambled to put it out, scolding the boy in the process.

'I'll leave you to it then'

You walked away, hurt and on the verge of tears. You needed to speak to Aleksander, you were sick of him lying to you but you were even more tired of feeling that severe urge to cry every time you thought about him. You came here to do your job and to show everyone you had your powers under control, yet all you've done so far is the opposite. Saints be damned you would walk away from your position because of a complicated relationship, you were better than that. But you also recognized that if you confronted Aleksander about all of this, he would either have to tell you about his plans for Alina or lie again, and you knew he would lie. It was a vicious cycle, one that wouldn't end. It was heartbreaking knowing that the man who claimed to never stop loving you could lie to you so easily.

You were right to question your trust in him, he never gave you a reason not to.

***

He was sitting at his desk, back turned towards you. You hesitated, the thought of running out the door and locking yourself in your room sounding pretty attractive. Maybe a good cry will fix this.

'Y/N I thought I told you to rest' He spoke calmly, his hand never dropping the pen. You shut the doors, not wanting the guards outside to hear what you were about to say. This made him turn around.

'We need to talk'

He dropped the pen and paper and stood up, indicating he was all ears. You glued your eyes to his knowing your vulnerability peeked through but you didn't care to hide it.

'What are your plans for me, Aleksander?'

He cocked his head to the side, confused. 'What?'

'Why keep me around when Alina is here?'

You were never the jealous kind, but you came to realize this wasn't jealousy. It was disappointment and aching after being away from him for almost a century. You had built up this life in your head, one where everything was perfect and Aleksander hadn't changed but you raised the bar too high. The bad parts of Aleksander faded away with each year and the best parts of him enhanced in your mind. You had forgotten what he was truly like, plus coming to terms with the fact that he lived a seemingly happy life while you were gone stung a bit too. With each day, the disappointment turned into hurt and anger.

'Y/N I already told you, I have a plan.'

'So you expect me to watch you and Alina fawn over each other while I stay in the shadows being a dutiful Second in Command? I may be loyal but I'm not going to blindly follow along Aleksander, not anymore.' It's making me miserable.

His hands reached out for you but you moved away. 'You know I love you Y/N' He said as if the foolish statement would make your worries and anger melt away.

'Then act like it'

'It's not that simple.'

'It never is, is it?' You bitterly laughed. What's the point of loving somebody if you're not willing to do everything to make them stop hurting?

'Why won't you tell me?' Your voice was a whisper he barely registered. 'Do you not trust me? Cause I'll admit it right now, I may love you, but I don't trust you Aleksander.'

Your admission hit him like a pile of bricks. He was brought back to when you first met, your shaking body radiating hostility as you rode in the carriage with him. He tried to assure you you were safe, you were one of his Grisha now, but you were having none of it. You didn't trust anybody for months after you arrived in the Little Palace, especially him and right now, it was all back to square one.

'Have I really given you that many reasons to not trust me?' It had been so long since he had somebody to care for and love that he forgot how to act around you. Perhaps he was back to square one too.

'Yes. Your sly comments about killing the King and finding the stag, your relationship with Alina, even with Zoya- Aleksander you're lying to me every day and you think I'll still be compliant. I'm not the same Y/N you remember.'

'You know what I want Y/N. You've always known'

'I do, but I need to know how you're going to do it all. How can I be supportive when I don't know what the hell is going on around me. A goodnight kiss every now and then won't fix this if you're doing the same to somebody else'

'Is this what this is? Your way of saying I'm fucking my Sun-Summoner on the side?'

'I never said that. All I wanted to know was why I'm not in on the plan that's supposed to give us more power. Is it because I'm a loose cannon, are you scared of what I'll do if I won't agree with you?'

You were sure of one thing; while you were gone nobody dared to disagree with the Darkling and he had grown to get used to it. Power corrupts, resistance humbles.

Somehow you still held your composure, albeit it was difficult. Aleksander however, was losing his temperate demeanor. He was pacing the lengths of the room and his hand had brushed through his hair countless times, the image of someone who was backed into a corner they couldn't get out of.

'I haven't told you because I don't want you to get burned. If it goes wrong it would be good to have some of us not hanged for treason would it not?' Bullshit. He must've forgotten you had the power of a heartrenderer. Aleksander was lying right through his teeth.

'You and I both know that's not true. If history is any indication then they'll turn on all Grisha.'

'And you'll be here to make sure they don't.' He tried to reason but you let out a loud laugh.

'Up until 2 weeks ago you didn't even consider giving me my old post back, do you really expect me to believe you changed your strategy in a matter of days?'

He stayed silent and settled against his desk. His crossed arms showed he was in no mood to discuss any further but you weren't done. He was going to tell you everything whether he liked it or not. You were sick of being kept in the dark. You had your title of Deputy back now, yet you still had no idea what truly went on and had no real sway against the top-ranking Grisha who no doubt were in on the plans. Power corrupts, resistance humbles, and you were done being humbled.

'Aleksander don't make me force it out of you' As soon as the words left your mouth you tried to find some part of you that regretted them but came up empty-handed.

His head whipped around with whiplash speed. You could see the internal battle going on behind his eyes of whether you would actually make do on your threat. You didn't know whether it was empty or whether you actually would do it but it was tempting.

'You said you changed, but I don't think you did' He retorted, eyeing you up and down with a look of displeasure. The situation was a shift from the usual, this time he was the one losing control and spiraling whereas you were the perfect example of a calm before the storm. The Little Witch he had grown to love and worship.

'I'm stronger, I can be stronger. I am limitless' You prided yourself on the restraint you'd shown thus far. You were in a palace full of Grisha, of Healers, a Tailor, a Sun-Summoner yet you didn't make any moves to take anything. The old Y/N wouldn't hesitate to take what wasn't hers. Maybe that's why you would burn out, lose as you gained. This time you knew how to do it properly, how to be an Elemental who yielded it all.

'Your quench for power is contending mine, Sweet Y/N.' For the second time in your life, you saw fear in Aleksander's eyes. He always had a feeling you yearned to have a stronger grasp of the Second-Army and for so long, even now, you tried to lie to yourself and deny it. But deep down some voices always whispered 'it's only right to have a leader who represents them all'.

'Wrong. I already have it, I just need to use it.' You raised your hands slowly, showing him you meant what you said. I'm really doing this. Your heart dropped when his raised too. He's willing to hurt me to protect his lies.

'There's no going back from this' You felt weirdly ready. Although you had never used your Grisha powers against Aleksander in a fight, you had a hefty slice of hope in you that you could overpower him. You had what he had and more.

'Y/N stop this.'

'Why? So that you'll lie to me again? Make me the other woman? It's inevitable that it comes to this' Your heart picked up in speed as your breathing became rapid. The influx of power at your fingertips itched to get out and make itself useful and containing it was painful.

Shadows pooled on the ground and around your feet yet you didn't know who they belonged to. Technically they're all his, I just know how to control them.

Panic shot through you as you felt a tendril of the black nothingness grasp around your wrist. No. You let yourself go, snapping the shackle and mirroring it on him. He had never experienced cruelty at the hands of his own power until now and was completely powerless as the black restraints rendered him useless. You concentrated on his pulse, soothing it to its normal rate then into a slow hum, relaxing his mind. This all felt so wrong yet so right.

'I'm feeling merciful today. When you feel up to it, tell me everything, or else I promise I won't hesitate Aleksander. We're the same in that manner.'

You watched as he gathered himself, anger rising onto his face. His moves were rigid and stiff despite your previous soothing.

'Time is ticking' Before he could say another word, you left the defeated Darkling, instilled with a sudden sense of pride.

______

Part 15

Here's my masterlist where you can find previous parts of this series!

Taglist (Tell me if u want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess

#shadow and bone #the darkling #grisha #imagine #the darkling x reader #ben barnes #alexander #alexander morozova #fanfic #alina starkov #general kirigan x reader #zoya nazyanelsky

119 notes · View notes

justice4harwin · 4 years ago

Text

Light's Corruption- Chapter IV

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Summary:With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty

Rating: 18+

Click here for chapter 3

Tags are in the comment section. If you dont wanna be there or wanna be added please let me know 😊

Anyways, I hope you like this one. I'm really excited over a particular scene 😏😏

Chapter 4: golden butterfly, black rose

Alina woke up with a new purpose: to observe and listen.

She hastily threw the blankets and sheets off of her and put on her kefta as she realized she might be late for breakfast.

Running down the stairs, hair a mess, the Sun Summoner smiled and greeted everyone on her path.

Some replied. Others just stared oddly.

She entered the hall to find that, as usual, Marie and Nadia had left a seat empty between them. Alina gingerly took it.

"Good morning!"

They gave her smiles as they reciprocated the greeting.

"You're in a good mood today." Nadia noticed, taking her spoon.

"I slept like a baby." she lied. She hadn't gotten that much sleep -Genya must've gotten even less- but she felt good that day.

Just the day before, she had been able to summon on her own for the first time, and she had to stay positive if she wanted to accomplish her new mission.

She engaged more in the chatter with the grisha women that day, venturing so far as to reply with questions of her own to get to know them better.

"I didn't know you had a brother, Nadia." she said, genuinely surprised as they made their way to Botkin's stables.

The woman nodded with a half-annoyed, half-endearing smile.

"He's grisha too. A few years younger, so he's still at school. His name's Adrik."

"Is he a Squaller too?"

Nadia confirmed that he was, because of course, the little rat had to copy everything about his older sister.

Alina laughed at that.

"The little girl seems very happy for someone who's about to get into a fight?" were the words with which Botkin received her.

Alina fought back the need to recoil. The only time she had won so far had been against Zoya, …if one could consider that a win given what happened right after.

"Maybe I'll be lucky today." she beamed at him.

Botkin seemed almost surprised.

"Positivity is fine, little girl, but you need to focus during a fight. But first." he clapped his hands twice, immediately getting all the attention. "Run around the lake. Twice. The last one to get back here will help the stable hands for the rest of the day."

Alina really ran like never before that day.

Her side hurt, and she almost felt like she wasn't getting enough air; but after the first half, her legs didn't burn so much anymore, and she felt almost as good as she did when walking.

"Damn, Starkov." she turned her head to see that Michail, a heartrender with a hard-shaped face and kind, green eyes, was easily keeping up with her. "When did you get this fast?"

"Practice." she said, a little breathless but feeling nice with the cold air slapping against her face. "Besides, I really don't wanna end up in the stables."

He laughed at that.

"That makes two of us. I hate those animals."

Alina frowned. She just didn't wanna clean up their shit, but other than that, she could find nothing wrong with horses.

"Why?"

"Those long faces," he said, gesturing over his own. "they're scary."

"You're scared of horses?!" she asked, disbelieving.

"Why don't you yell it a little louder?" he asked, looking around at the disperse group, but he was smirking. They weren't at the front, but they weren't slagging at the back either.

"Sorry." she leaned in. "I'll keep your secret if you help me not to be the last."

"I don't think you need my help," he laughed. "but sure."

She got knocked down on her ass by a short Inferni woman with dark blonde hair, but Alina laughed it off, hiding her embarrassment, and stretched out a hand. The Inferni rose an eyebrow and then helped her up.

"Thanks." she told her, dusting off the back of her kefta.

"For kicking your ass?"

"Hey, I think I did learn a thing or two." she winked. "Next time I'll be ready."

"Oh, so you want a rematch?" the woman asked, amused, as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"If you're up for it." Alina shrugged.

"Deal." they shook hands. "But it'll have to wait until we're done with him." she said, nodding towards Botkin, who was busy making rounds, watching the others. "I'm Natasha, by the way."

"Alina."

"Oh, I know. Everyone knows." she smiled once more before retreating to a small group of Inferni that had reunited by a corner.

As she passed by the lake in her usual route to Baghra's hut, Alina got startled by the damage she had done to the perfectly green grass. Gardeners were still at work getting rid of the black mass she had left in her path, going so far as to dig into the earth. They saw her passing and glanced up, some frightened, others definitely not amused.

"I am so sorry." she whispered frantically, before hurrying her steps.

"Don't let the heat out!" was all the greeting she got from the ancient woman.

Alina closed the door and hurried to the chair that awaited her. She was smiling.

"I don't think that will be a problem." she said, proud of herself.

She scoffed. "So I have heard. Show me." she said, hitting her in the arm with her cane.

"Ouch!"

With a nasty frown, Alina placed her palms in front of the others and called the light that she had rejected for so long. So eager to answer, her power rushed through and out of her, and she was almost puzzled by its intensity. She focused on keeping the orb small.

"Uh. Well, it took you long enough."

"A 'Congratulations' would be nice."

She got hit again. Her light wavered and then solidified again.

"Congratulations? What? Do you want a parade thrown in your honour as well? For what? Doing what you were supposed to do your entire life? Shut up and expand the orb. Make it encompass the entire place."

With deep breaths, both to concentrate and control her anger, Alina steadily expanded her light, making it fill the hut.

"Bend it to its shape."

Carefully, she tried to do as she was told.

"You were right, about being held back." she uttered as she tried to shape her light to blend in with the walls.

"I know." the woman said, petulant. "Now call it back and repeat until there is no effort to it."

Alina tried, and tried again, but as eager as her power was to explode, her body was eager for a long, long nap. There had been so much repression, so much denial for so many years, that it was as if the light wanted to just explode out of her body and consume it all.

It scared her a little, but she focused.

The Darkling had told her she was magnificent, Alina remembered, and he had made it sound like she was capable of anything.

The way his grey eyes shone with such intensity, like he wanted to engulf her into his arms and have her all to his own, the way in which his hand felt against hers, or how just even being next to him made her want to lean into and over him like a lazy, overly clingy cat.

She'd lay on top of him all day if she could.

Alina wondered what would've happened if Genya hadn't arrived at the moment she did. Would The Darkling had kissed her? What would his lips taste like? How would his beard feel against her skin? Just exactly how good was he with his tongue?

Alina blushed. The light flickered, as if excited at the mere idea of the man.

She had kissed a few people before, but him, there was something about him that told her that if he should kiss her only once, she'd spend the rest of her life running after the very same sensation and more.

"Dreaming about your dark prince again?"

She looked at Baghra.

"What?" looking around, she noticed that her light had expanded farther than the hut and she was glowing.

Alina snapped her hands, and everything was dark again. Her fingers tingled with power, her eyelids closed with exhaustion.

"I-I wasn't-" she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the new environment.

"Stupid, stupid girl. You need to focus on your task."

"I'd concentrate better if I wasn't being hit every five min-OUCH!"

"Do not make excuses with me. You are lazy, easily distracted, you do not know what you are getting yourse-"

"You know, for someone who's supposed to be such a great teacher, I've still got to see some actual teaching." Alina snapped. "All you do is yell at me, hit me and belittle me; yet one conversation with The General I can finally summon." the brunette spat, each word more angrier than the previous one. "So don't try to blame me for your shortcomings."

Baghra was silent, nostrils flaring. When it looked like she might raise her cane and hit Alina right in the head with it, she opened her thin lips instead:

"Out." she uttered, almost inaudible. "Out! And do not come back!"

"Gladly!"

Alina stood up and marched for the door, her steps almost as loud as the insults the old woman was throwing after her.

"Stupid girl! Unconscious! Just another pawn of his! You never learn! Lazy! Stupid! Blind!"

It was a good thing the old crone couldn't see the tears of frustration and shame in her eyes.

She was on her way back to the Little Palace, trying to decide if she should bathe or go to the library first.

Baghra’s words still rang in her head.

Maybe, if she was quick, really quick with her bath,...but then again, she was getting too used to such a luxury, that once in there it was quite difficult to leave unless the water turned cold.

But if she went to the library, she’d be there until the words blurred and her eyes burned.

On the other hand, there were other grisha in the library, and she couldn’t afford to walk in there smelling like-

"Alina?"

General Kirigan's smooth voice had her turning on her heels, hand still massaging the spot on her arm Baghra's cane had so harshly landed. She had managed to hold back the tears, but the woman's word still stung.

"Moi Soverennyi." She greeted but forgot to bow.

He looked at her arm.

"How was your lesson?"

"I spent months with her and nothing; five minutes with you and I can summon." She basically spat, still bitter at Baghra's harsh words. "I think that speaks for itself."

He smiled, almost.

"Give the old woman some credit. She is good at what she does."

"Terrorizing isn't teaching." she replied, and then, with her head high, added: "She didn't get me to summon."

"No." The Darkling agreed, taking a step towards her. All engulfed in his black cloak, he almost seemed to float. "You did it. It was all you." He said it with such reverence that her breath became shallow.

She didn't look away from his eyes. The storms swirling in there were magnetic. There was so much going on in there at the moment, yet it all sped up through those grey orbs so fast she couldn't make sense of it.

"Why don't you teach me?" The words slipped from her tongue before she could think better of it.

He rose an eyebrow, taking another predatory step towards her.

"I serve the King. I run an entire army. I do not have the time to train everyone personally, nor would I want anyone to think they are favoured above others."

He was so close to her now, she had to crane her neck to look up.

"You once said there was no one else like us; who could be a better teacher?"

In truth, she also wanted to see him more often. Glimpses as he passed through the Little Palace or left Os Alta, and the occasional conversation weren't enough for her.

"You flatter me, Miss Starkov."

"I only state my opinion." she took a step, shortening the distance, like he was a magnet calling for her.

Mirth shone in his eyes. It made her smile.

"I will be going away for a few weeks." At this, her smile fell, and his formed as he tilted her chin up with his gloved fingers.

Alina stared up into his eyes, dark with something.

"I'll miss you." She whispered, foolishly, without thought.

"Will you?" He asked, almost perplexed for a moment.

She found herself nodding.

"I know we don't get much chance to talk, but I like talking to you." She confessed, a knot in her throat. "You understand all,...this." she flickered her fingers and a tiny orb of light formed above her hand.

His eyes followed suit, almost fascinated, like he still couldn't quite believe her power was real. And when he looked at her, it was like he couldn't believe she was real.

His hand rose and shadows swallowed her light. Alina watched them dance, entranced by his power, and noticed it taking shape.

"For you." The Darkling said, handing her a black rose, from the base of its steam to the very last petal. "To remember me by while I am gone."

Disbelieving, she reached out and gasped as she touched the shadow. There was a little bit of gold in there, her own power hidden within, shimmering weakly here and there.

"I don't have anything to give you." She said, lamenting.

He leaned down, his beard rough against her soft cheek.

"Trust me, Alina," he whispered, her name on his lips against her ear making her tremble. "I could not forget you if I tried."

There was the whisper of a kiss against her cheek that seemed to linger for the longest moment, …and then he was leaving, cloak flipping behind him as he left the sun Summoner holding onto a small piece of shadow and a piece of her heart gone with him.

Click here for chapter Five

#shadow and bone #alina starkov #the Darkling #darklina #alina x aleksander #darkling x alina #fanfic #shadow and bone fanfic

35 notes · View notes

hotwings0203 · 4 years ago

Note

Hello!!!

I'm here with some Muslim Hawks headcanons!!

Okayyy soooo you that headcanon of how Hawks collects trinkets? Yeah Muslim Hawks would definitely flirt with you by giving you churiyan (probably gold or red ones lol) and when you wear them, he feels so possessive and can't control himself and play with your hands and fingers telling you how he can't wait to put a ring on you and how these colors look so pretty on you

Speaking of jewelry, when you guys get engaged (which you will cuz he knows how to keep a good reputation with the elders), he gives you jewelry that has his feathers incorporated in it

Okay! But if its not churiyan, I think he would get you an anklet bracelet (payal?), and lmao he would corner you and would crouch down and just softly touch your ankle while putting it on you, and to tease you, he would slowly trace his fingers up your leg while looking up at you with his sharp and playful gaze and he would relish in the way you blush and squeak Hawks! And run away LOLL

Also! He loves it when you feed him, will coo and chirp like a god damn bird. Again you know that trope of the bride feeding the groom, he would totally grab your hand to feed him, and maintain eye contact the whole time, his hawk like gaze pinning you in space and you're just trying not die from blushing

Nickenames!!! Has a plethora of nicknames for you like meri jaan, meri chaand, etc. but his main ones are 'meri chhoti churiya' (my little bird) or 'meri methi churiya' (my sweet bird)! And everytime he utters these names, it'd make you soooo flustered! And omg if he calls you that in front or near the elders, you'd blush so hard while subtly glaring at him and he would just smirk and wink at you lolll

Also I feel like he would be that asshole who scares you when you're at a party and telling djinn stories LOL like the kids and others are all gathered in a room after dinner, its after maghrib, and you are telling djinn stories or watching a horror movie, and when the scary part comes, he would send one his feathers to tickle your feet or touch your shoulder or ear, and you'd squeak and jump right into him (cuz of course hes sitting right beside you, even though you tried to move away from him, you know halal distances and stuff) and he's just sitting all smug and being like "don't worry jaan I'll protect you" LMFAO

Okay okay, that's enough for now, I'll send more soon!!!!

WIAFHFHFHFFN THE FIRST SENTENCE I WAS SOLD!! man I’ve been so excited and literally WAITING to tackle these cuz you always deliver the best headcannons

I could totally see over the expanse of him trying to court you your wardrobe if accessories would slowly shift over to red and gold colors, and if you don’t wear them then he gets all pouty and moody until you catch his drift and run back to wear his colors:)

OO FUUCCKKKK YO PAYAL IS SO SEXY AND FOR WHAT?? Like maybe you’re at someone else’s wedding sitting down from dancing so much, or just stuffed with food when he pounces on your vulnerable state.

“Hey there churiya(bird), I hope you liked my churiyan(bangles),” he snorts at his cringe joke and you can’t help but loosely suppress a laugh yourself.”

“Ha-ha Keigo, verryyyy funny. Arent you supposed to be schmoozing up to your usual harem?”

“My harem?” He pretends to look shocked and places a hand on his chest. “I’m insulted, truly. It’s not a harem, it’s a cult.”

“Ugh!” You get up to leave when he drops to a kneel and grabs your foot, preventing you from leaving.

“What’re you doing?”

“You know, I might have a cult following, but I think id rather keep you as my high priestess. What do you say?” You feel sturdy fingers dancing along your feet and you giggle as he tickles the bottoms.

Then a cold lightweight chain is looped around your toes and around your ankle. You angle to look at it in surprise, and open your mouth to ask why he’s putting payal on you when his fingers start to wander.

Your mouth is stuck open as you watch in shock how his nails lightly rake your smooth skin, and trace up your kameez, letting the cloth ride up your bare legs in a teasing taste of what was his to come.

“Yeah? You enjoying that churiya? There’s more where that came from,” he whispers as he draws his head near and drills his golden eyes into your fluttering ones.

“You-what-“ you sputter as he grips your knee as draws small circles at the back of it.

“If you want me to to higher, you gotta take me out on a date first. Or put a ring on it, either way doesn’t matter to me.”

“Hawks!” You try to pretend you don’t enjoy the sound of his boisterous laughter as you spring up and run to hide your face.

You know he’ll be back though. He always comes back.

As for the bird chirping noises, YES. ABSOLUTELY AND 100%!!

It’s on your wedding when he’s sitting next to you, clad in gold and white while you’re in a deep red (much to his pleasure).

The adults are chatting amongst themselves and turned away from you both when you decide to indulge him. You delicately pick up a piece of laddoo and bring the food to his mouth, turning his chin with your hand under it to face you.

He looks at you with wide eyes and then grins when he sees what you’re doing.

“Come on lardki. Don’t you know feeding mithai is bad for birds? They could die, y’know” he simpers yet accepts the food heartily, chomping away and looking at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Hmm, that’s too bad. And here I was thinking birds mate for life.” You flick your hair and get a taste of rasgullah yourself, licking the milky substance off your fingers slowly and relishing when he swallows hard at the sight.

It’s hard to hide your grin when his chirps come throughout the rest of the evening during the randomest of times, his face turning as bright as your lengha when he remembers the erotic sight.

I guess there really is a way to shut him up after all.

AND YESSS YO THIS ASSHOLE JUST LOOVEESSS DJINN STORIES😭

I bet y’all would be at a party, the kind that ends at 1 in the morning when all the kids are tired and delirious.

“Alright guys, gather around. I’m about to lighten this party up.” He claps his hands and waits for all the kids and young adults to circle around him excitedly, their fatigue washed away by the prospect of hearing how another one of their great ancestors was possessed.

It just so happens that you find yourself seated next to him (with the help of his feather with poked the butts of 8 year olds away with subtle yelps).

He makes sure to give you his signature wink and grin especially for you before he starts the story, and you cover your mouth to hide your smile and roll your eyes.

12 minutes in, the lights are all off and everyone is leaning forward, hooked on his story.

“And then, you know what happens to the girl?” He asks lowly in the dark. He can sense everyone’s holding their breaths, yours included.

“N-no, what happens?” One girl asks timidly.

“He POSSESS HER!” Keigo shouts and uses his feather to disperse around the room, sliding under people’s feet’s and knees, causing absolute mayhem as they all run around in the pitch black room and scream.

You weren’t given any mercy either, except your special feathers lift up and tilt your body to dump on his lap.

When he feels your hands searching in the dark in panic of who it is, he grabs your wrist and pulls you close to him, using the void of the room to relish in wrapping his arms and wings around you.

It’s just you and him in that moment, amongst the screams and shouts.

“K-keigo?”

“I’m here meri jaan. I’ll protect you from those big bad djinn,” he chuckles and brings his head near your neck, not touching exactly but rather brushing his nose against the column of your throat and growling when you shudder at the goosebumps racing across your arms.

#mha hawks #mha #bnha #hawks headcanons #muslim hawks #muslim mha #hawks x y/n #mha keigo takami #bnha keigo

38 notes · View notes

lovelywingsart · 3 years ago

Text

Sleepless

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

And now we get to the sweeter stories I have for them so far until the inevitable heartbreaking end... Don't worry, there's more angst closer to the beginning of the timeline than the end. But hey, 30+ years of living with someone you end up being partners with will do that to you. eue

Anyway, this was a fun little thing, and is pretty common in the timeline itself. It's pretty short, comparatively speaking, but I liked it. Enjoy!

**Remember, check out the Masterlist for more! <3 **

------

*Warning?: Mention of nightmares/terrors, a very very sleepy metal man

Summary: Being a busy person has its perks, but everyone needs to sleep at some point... Unfortunately, sleep doesn't come easily to Karl. So, he tries to help it the only way he knows how- find some company.

The hiss of the cooling mould filled the small room, the molten metal providing what little light given other than a few lanterns and small industrial lights as always. Emelia preferred it this way, despite occasional offers given to brighten the room up a little. She watched the moulds fill one by one, reaching out her mutated arm every once in a while to help unclasp and move them along if they were stuck. The mutation itself wasn't practical for much other than strength and stamina, though it provided a surprising amount of heat resistance compared to the usual glove she wore on the other hand. She consistently worked to control the anger that came with the mutation itself with each transformation, easing into a decent work state of mind when using it around the machines. She now found it increasingly relaxing whenever she allowed her Cadou to make the changes, feeling the occasional fluttering in her chest with each movement she made.

She reached forward with her mutated arm again, her claws closing around the edge of the mould that had gotten somewhat stuck when opening, the metal bits getting stuck around the edges.

"Bloody thing..." she growled, her voice deeper and warped from the mutation as she very nearly pried the thing open and removed the newly created cogs from the mould itself. Defects, of course... The metal hadn't cooled right. The thing wasn't even full, the deformed half being what had caused the jam. She simply tossed them to the side with a grunt, watching as the machine closed and started the process again with molten metal giving a golden glow to her eye and skin as she gave a near content sigh from the rush of heat.

It was through the hiss of the cooling unit that she heard another noise, her head cocking to the side just slightly. It sounded like... Tapping? Rhythmic tapping... Her body froze as she realized.

Footsteps.

Two options ran through her head at once; either it was the snarky bastard who owned the factory, or she'd have to fight a Soldat for the umpteenth time this week. She listened carefully for any mechanic whirring, generally a telltale sign of the Soldats presence other than the whirring of drills or blades. The rhythm of the footsteps was slow and even somewhat miscalculated, but... there was nothing. No whirring, no grunting or growling, no guttural 'war cries', as she called them. No, but there WAS breathing, only audible once the hissing of the cooling units halted. She turned her head slightly as the footsteps got closer, her mutated arm tensing and preparing for whatever hell of a sneak attack this was, her claws gripping the small railing near the machine to brace herself to swing back with the bone spur on her elbow.

She was instead met with the feeling of arms slowly and almost lazily wrapping around her waist, holding on to her tightly and making her jump and hold her breath. It wasn't until she felt a head fall against her shoulder that she even thought about relaxing, letting out an irritated growling sigh once she relinquished her grip on the rail.

"God damn you Heisenberg, what the bloody hell do you want now, I'm busy-" she started, only to pause as she looked down.

No gloves... no coat... just his scarred hands gripping on to her shirt as if she'd disappear of he let her go. What the hell... She could hear slow, almost uneven breathing next to her ear as he pressed his face to her shoulder, dark silvery hairs almost sticking to her skin. It wasn't until she heard a weak hum that she finally turned her head to look at him. She felt as her muscles eased somewhat at the sight of him, frowning as she reached her mutated hand up to pat his head. The man looked utterly exhausted... Eyes half lidded with the color dulled, deep bags under his eyes, and nearly sunken features that made him look almost as old as he was. She could tell his obvious exhaustion wasn't the only issue, but it was the one that caused the most concern in her mind at the current moment. It was as if he had turned into one of the walking abominations he had working in the tunnels under the main factory, almost feeling like a dead weight against her...

"Karl...?" She said, her voice still somewhat warped, yet holding an oddly soft tone. He only replied with another hum before burying his face into her neck. Her frown deepened as one of his hands reached up to hold her mutated arm, his grip weak. The man needed sleep... It was painfully obvious. It looked like he hadn't slept in literal weeks, which was most likely the case as it always was.

She quickly hit a button to power down the movements of the machine in front of them, feeling as he relaxed somewhat against her back despite the sharp bone spurs that rested along her spine from the mutation. She waited for the thing to stop moving before patting his arm lightly.

"Hey..." she said quietly, turning her head to look at him again. The only response she received was a light squeeze along her waist.

"Hey." she repeated, managing to carefully turn in his arms without ripping his chest to shreds with the spines. "Hey, Karl... Look at me..."

She grabbed his face with both hands, her mutated claws almost as big as his head entirely. But she held his cheeks carefully, forcing him to look at her as she examined his face. It was a pitiful sight, really... The man typically held either a grin or a smirk, his energy and enthusiasm for his work unmatched by anyone, even that giant witch Alcina. He always seemed oddly happy. Proud. But his look now... It was that a tired old man with years taken from his life in a single night. He blinked slowly, giving a quiet grunt.

"When was the last time you slept...?" Emelia asked quietly, a sudden concern flooding her gravely voice. Irritating as he may be, even now, she couldn't help but care for the man... She allowed her mutation to retreat with a quiet groan as he looked at her, the muscles and sharp bone disappearing back under the skin with cracks and pops as she kept a hold on his face.

"Dunno..." came the somewhat slurred answer. She felt his weight shifting from foot to foot, hearing a small mechanical clicking whenever he leaned on his left leg. She sighed, letting him lower his head so it rested in her hands, her thumbs brushing over his cheeks just slightly.

"Bloody hell..." she muttered, finally taking a step to the side. Her movements were slow, carefully removing his arms from around her waist and slinging one over her shoulder to help him keep his own balance. "Come on... Let's find somewhere for you-"

"Here..." he muttered suddenly, his voice low and broken. She paused and looked at him.

"Here?" She asked. He twitched his head into a nod.

"Sleep here... Please..."

She couldn't help but feel a pang of pity as she heard him speak. His tone wasn't begging, but it wasn't demanding, either. But she simply nodded, looking around for a moment. Her eye caught the corner of the room with a few tattered rags on the floor generally used for cleaning or polishing, and she carefully nudged his side to lead him over. His movements were simultaneously stiff and limp, creating an awkward pattern in footsteps just like she had heard earlier. She helped him sit once they reached the corner, the rags and fabrics providing a small sense of underlying comfort compared to the rough concrete floor. She left him for only a moment, almost feeling bad for doing so as she heard his grunts of discomfort.

"I'll be right back..." she said lightly, quickly making her way to the two entrances to the room itself.

She blocked them both, making sure the door entrance was locked and secure and moving two stacked work benched in front of the free corridor entrance. The last thing she needed was a goddamn Soldat bursting in... She didn't need one of the metal menaces showing their faces. Not when she already knew how this was going to end up... And it would end up the same no matter how she tried to prevent it. Almost every time he slept, the poor man would wake up screaming, speaking rapid broken German too quickly for her to understand. If he wasn't screaming, it was a panic attack bad enough for him to nearly hyperventilate and thrash around. Either way, one of both of them would have gotten hurt due to flying metal from his power going haywire from fear. It was why he was here with her instead of in his own room, even if she was increasingly nervous with the metal scraps laying about. The presence of someone... ANYONE else near him helped considerably, they both found, though that didn't obviously stop the night terrors... But she assisted him with pushing through them, often lulling him back to sleep each time while even falling asleep, herself. They still happened, but being near her made it... easier. Being near her made sure he wasn't alone.

And he hated being alone.

She made her way back to Heisenberg, kneeling down and helping him settle against the wall. She took her place next to him, feeling as he slumped over on her shoulder almost immediately before giving a quiet grunt. She looked at him for a moment before sighing, adjusting and nudging him forward so his head rested on her lap. He reached an arm forward to wrap around her leg as if it were a simple pillow. She couldn't exactly blame him... Even she knew it was easier to lay down.

"That better...?" She asked quietly, resting one hand on his shoulder as the other reached to pat his head lightly. He relaxed as she ran her fingers through his hair, occasionally reaching to trace along the scars on his face once she slumped back against the wall in a comfy enough position. It was a method she used constantly, having discovered it on accident. The motions soothed him, and soon she could feel his breathing even out.

"... thank you...." he nearly whispered, his words sounding almost like a simple breath had she not been listening. She tilted her head slightly towards him with the smallest hint of a smile.

"Easy, Metalhead..." she soothed, rubbing his shoulder for a moment before fully resting her arm over him. "I'll wake you if I notice anything, alright?"

She was met with silence, a gentle squeeze to her thigh the only hint of an answer he gave. After that, he was still, his breaths coming as gentle snores against her thigh. 'God damn, he WAS tired...' She thought, continuing the motions of her hand through his hair. She watched him for a moment before leaning her head back and closing her eye with a sigh. Despite knowing what was bound to happen, this was the most peaceful they would get, and she had to admit that she loved it... There was only a few hours if they were lucky, but she didn't mind. She quite enjoyed these times, she just wished neither of them were plagued by such nightmares. But even so, she couldn't help but feel relaxed... Even a bit closer to the man as he was granted a bit of much needed sleep. She was the only one to ever see him like this... The only one to ever assist with any kind of care he may have needed at that point in time, and the only one who understood what he had gone through.

She let his deep breathing sooth her, the other sounds of the factory lulling her into a drowsy, lazy feeling. She'd continue her work later... For now, she focused on the man on her lap, letting the smallest amount of sleep creep up. And suddenly she was out in a light doze, awkwardly cuddling Heisenberg with the warmth around them providing an inner comfort rarely felt.

#oc #resident evil #resident evil oc #resident evil village #resident evil village oc #re8 #re8oc #karl heisenberg #heisenberg #lord heisenberg #re8 heisenberg #heisenberg x oc #karl heisenberg x oc #heisenberg fanfiction #lovelywingsart #lovelywingsocs #Metalworks fanfiction

12 notes · View notes

fullmarvelheart · 4 years ago

Text

The Man From the Night

Pairing: Avengers x Enhanced!OFC

Word Count: 2,815

WARNING: swearing, angst themes of anxiety, such as panic attacks. Sexual assault is also, vaguely, mentioned as well. Please read at your own discretion.

A/N: Ooh your savior is here! Had to do that! But things are just getting interesting. Image is not my own, all rights to the owner. All mistakes are my own.

Series Masterlist

As I begin to wake, the first thing that greets me is a throbbing headache. Though, as I reach to help ease the pain, I find my arm being pulled slightly back from something attached to it. My eyes quickly shoot open and after blinking away the blurry fog that fills my vision, I see a metal cuff encasing my wrist, tying it to whatever hard surface I'm on. I go to pull it off with my other hand but find that restrained as well. I being to panic and take notice my surroundings.

The walls are filled with old looking wallpaper that's peeling off the walls, blank of any object. The air smells musty and damp. If I had been found by them, I know this isn't the place I'd wake up to. Still, that doesn't ease my fear.

I begin to thrash around, trying to loosen whatever is holding me down. To no avail, however. The noise must have notified my captors because I soon hear a pair of hurried footsteps echoing up some stairs. I inhale sharply when I feel his presence. The man who is not of Earth.

Realizing I had recovered my strength in my sleep, and by sheer adrenaline and instinct alone, I expel a force only where the shackles rest that send them flying through the walls of the room I'm in. Clumsily, I climb off the table as dizziness began to set in from the new and surprisingly intense task I preformed.

The door suddenly flies open and I find myself backing against the farthest wall, prepared to blow it out in case I need a quick escape. The man wears a smirk of amusement, but his body language holds a defensive stance, while his hand grips onto the door knob. He looks ready to strike at any given time. I put my guard up, silently cursing at the fact that I had no weapon near me if I needed one. Though, I do take this time to finally observe the guy.

I was right when I said he was tall. He stands at a height of what appears to be a few inches above six feet. His long raven-colored hair is slightly curly and some of it hangs lazily on the side of his face. His bright emerald green eyes are staring directly into my own blue ones. That smirk is still plastered on his face, though, his breaths come out rapid and uneven, as if he had just ran from somewhere. The stairs, duh... I wasn't able to get a good look at the rest of him as a voice interrupted my... um... observing.

"Are you finished staring at me, human?" His voice, smooth and heavily accented, one that sounds vaguely familiar to me. Though, I do not miss the condescending tone in his voice, and I dare not correct his mistake.

"Pfft! I wasn't staring." I sneer back at him.

"Then what would you call that?" He inquires as his smirk seems to grow.

"Analyzing." I reply quickly, almost too quickly.

He scoffs and rolls his eyes while crossing his arms. My eyes dare not to explore the being standing in front of me any further.

"Who are you?" I growl lowly, feeling defensive again. "Why was I locked up?"

Again, he rolls his eyes and I really want to punch him and just take my leave. In a split second he stands before me and I immediately plaster my hands against the wall, summoning my powers to them, draining any energy source nearby, other than him, that I could. He looks down slightly and I catch the faint blue of my ability reflecting in his eyes.

"I wouldn't do such a foolish thing. There is another mortal behind that wall, and judging by the way you acted earlier today, I think you wouldn't want any harm to come to them."

I think of his words before feeling for a presence behind the wall. Sure enough, he's right. I can feel the energy surge through the person's nervous system, and even their heart. But that doesn't mean I'd let him scare me into submission. Beings much scarier have in the past, and he isn't one of them. Instead of blasting the wall back, I flip my palms over and used the force collected to push him back away from me. He flies over the table I was chained to and I try to make a run for it. I'm almost at the door, when I feel a blade at my throat and my body being jerked back.

Our heavy breaths are the only thing filling the silence of the room. When he drops his guard seemingly thinking I submitted myself to him, I use my hand that's closest to his own to apply just the right amount of pressure to his wrist, causing him to drop the blade before my other hand catches it. I step out of his reach and point the blade towards him, still taking small steps back to create distance.

"I'm going to ask this again," I say in a voice heavy with adrenaline and caution. "Who the hell are you?"

He grins, menacingly, as he stepped towards me.

"Someone you don't want to mess with." Suddenly the knife vanishes and I let out a startled gasp.

Barely a millisecond later, I feel my body push my legs towards the open door in order to escape. However as soon as I do, I'm tackled to the ground. My head hits with a sickening thud, stars dance across my vison. I try to move but find my hands bound above my head and pressure on the lower half of my body. I open my eyes to find him hovering over me while holding my wrists in one hand, the other near my shoulder to keep him off my torso, and his legs holding down my own.

My heart starts to beat faster and my breath grows sharper as I feel myself reliving a nightmare. Tears prickle my eyes before I clench them shut while focusing on trying to stop the panic attack that is beginning to develop. The pressure on my wrist lessens as my breaths grow harsher and I feel my body trembling.

I can't stop it.

Words are being spoken above me, but I can't hear over the ringing in my ears or the sound of my quickening heartbeat. I try to not summon my powers but in my panicked state, I can't focus on controlling them. A few things burst around me, causing me to shriek in fear.

Suddenly I'm being lifted up and encased in a strong embrace. One hand is rubbing soothing circles on my back while the other one brushes through my hair.

"I'm sorry. Shh, you're ok. I won't harm you like that." A voice says above me.

My cries slowly turn to whimpers and things stop breaking. Pretty soon, it is just my trembling form being gently rocked by the being who holds me close. They continue to whisper calming words to me as my breathing began to even out.

"Are you quite finished?" The voice, his voice, asks rather annoyed, sounding completely different than he did moments ago.

I growl lowly to myself as I forcefully, by that I mean shakily, push myself away from the raven-haired man.

After getting up and not sparing a glance towards him, I walk over to a small table that was placed in the hallway. Glass shards and other debris littered the floor but I don't care about the wreckage around me. Using the table to prop myself up, I begin to grow angry, which slowly replaces the fear still coursing through my tired body. My fingers began curling into fists and my breath grows heavy with rage.

I'm pissed.

At the raven-haired man, but mostly at myself. It had happened so long ago yet it still constantly gets the better of me. Constantly! Everything they did does, and everything he did still remains a heavy burden on my mind.

"DAMN IT!" I scream, hitting the wooden table hard enough for it to go crumbling to the floor.

The man behind me chuckles.

"That was quite... the... s-show..." His words fade as I begin slowly taking the energy coursing through his cells, making him grow a little more tired with each passing moment.

He stumbles to the floor.

"I'll ask you. once. more." I growl through gritted teeth, slowly turning towards him.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" I roar, causing the man to flinch back, though tired.

"L-Loki, of A-Asgard."He breathes out.

Satisfied with the answer, I stop draining him, and with a flick of my wrist emitting a soft blue glow, he seems to be able to breathe again.

"Why was I chained up?" I sneer, though sounding significantly less pissed off than before.

"I-I do believe that it was you who attacked me first. Call it insurance." He arrogantly says, bringing himself up to stand, though as if he was a newborn creature.

"It was you who came at me with daggers, after you created a... shadow... or whatever it was." I counter. "I was only defending myself." I say the last part quieter, feeling the adrenaline leave my system.

I groan in frustration before bring my hands to my face and sliding down the wall to sit on top of the now broken table.

"You know, you remind me of someone... when you lose your temper, that is." He comments with a sly smile that I miss. Though, I do hear him still stumbling slightly from the drain.

"Shut up!" I growl into my hands.

He scoffs.

"Why'd you bring me here?" I ask after a few moments.

I'm met with silence.

"What? Got nothing to say?" I snap, looking towards where he stands, leaning against the wall.

"Would you rather me leave you in the street with the spectacle you created?" He shot back.

It was my turn to be silent as I press my lips into a thin line and move my eyes to the floor. My mind began to swirl with the "what ifs". Those two dangerous word kept popping up in various scenarios. None of them good. They never are.

"Got nothing to say?" He mocks.

I shoot him a small glare before bringing my gaze back to the floor.

"Thank you, but only for getting me out of there." I say, barely loud enough for him to hear.

He grunts in acknowledgement and a peaceful silence engulfs the room. That is until the biggest spider I have ever seen in my whole damn life lands directly on my flats I had worn to work.

I squeal loudly and jump up in terror then proceed to fling the spider off my shoe. When it lands, it begins to run, though doesn't get far as my foot comes crashing down on top of it. I huff with rapid breaths before looking over to the man, Loki as I recall, to see his eyebrows raised and amusement lacing his features.

"Don't say anything." I quickly command to avoid feeling more embarrassment.

He raises his hands in mock surrender while slightly chuckling to himself, only for me to flip him 'the bird'. But now that the air between us is calmer, I take the chance to look around and get my bearings.

The air still smells musty, but it's now clouded with dust particles, and the walls still look worn and old. The wooden floors, cracked and falling apart. Old wallpaper hangs, peeling off the walls and a thick layer of dust rests on the undisturbed objects in the hall. If it were just those things, the place would look untouched and abandoned. However, because of my destruction, that's far from accurate.

Besides the broken table, all the various lights once hanging off the walls and ceiling have been blow up. Broken glass resides in the old walls, their jagged and sharp edges sticking out like clear knives. Other pieces lie littered over the floor. Bits of dry wall, where electrical lines ran along them, lay across the floor, the edges chard and smoking. Objects from the walls lie scattered over the floor as well, some broken while others are not.

I take a deep breath as I take in what I did, but I push the internal regret aside as I turn back to man that's looking at me apprehensively. This place has this familiarity to it, one that brings back not so good memories. So, I try to push it all back in the locked box I keep those things in.

"You live here?" I question with disgust, masking my inner turmoil.

"Well it looked a lot better before you happened. And it's the only place available for the amount of riches I had. Why must you Midgardians make things so ridiculously expensive?"

I let out a breathy chuckle as his grumbling is realistically funny.

"I wish I knew..." I murmur before a few moments of silence. "Tell me, what did you have in mind for after I woke up? Unless you were planning on keeping me chained up the whole time?" I sass while crossing my arms and shifting my weight to one leg.

"I hadn't gotten to that part of the plan yet before you woke up." He says with annoyance.

"Perfect..." I grumble. "Well... There's no way I'm staying here. I have my own home that needs to be attended to. But you aren't staying here either." I say sharply while starring the man down.

He sways slightly, eyes widened.

"Beg you pardon?" The disbelief in his tone has me smirk.

"Do you have anything here that's important?"

"Wha-wh-I..." I grin, seeming to catch him off guard.

"Well if you do, it won't go anywhere." I say marching up to him.

Before he has the chance to dodge my hand, I manage to collect enough energy, grab him, and teleport us to my living room. The smell of mint quickly surrounds me before it is replaced by the fresh sent of my home.

"Oh, this is so much better." I groan tiredly while flopping on the couch.

Finally, something comfortable...

"You weren't complaining about the remains of the table when you sat on that."

My eyes widen in shock. I just heard Loki's voice inside my head.

No! That's impossible!

"Not impossible, darling." He chuckles from somewhere in the room.

My mouth falls agape before I turn to look for him. When I find him, he's mumbling something before a dizziness sets in. I hold onto the couch for stability but still fall over, fading into the blackness.

~Loki's p.o.v~

Finally! Although the girl's abilities are extremely powerful, she is extremely naïve.

I smirk at this small mortal, but it quickly fades when I remember how she forced me to give her information, information I lacked in return. Or how she overwhelmed me with the feeling of exhaustion, one that's still very present. Or how she blocked me from her thoughts as she was calming down and right before she brought us here. The even more worrisome thing for me is that she didn't even know she did so, or rather, appeared not to know such things. Usually, blocking my abilities takes practice, training. All of which she clearly lacks. Her powers feed off of her emotions, I noticed. Such a pity. But her raw power is terrifying.

I begin to slowly walk around the place in which she brought us, perhaps her home. I look around for something to eat, as she left me quite tired and hungry. While I'm beyond shocked at how she brought me here, I am grateful. She wasn't wrong to be disgusted by my old lodgings, but I also felt her understanding of the situation. Which confused me even more than I already am. Her thoughts often betray her outward mannerism, creating this paradox to her.

As I wander, I notice the place is void of anything personal, besides her articles of clothing. There are no pictures that you'd expect to see in a Midgardian home. Not even an image of her. Ever her mug is a blank white. There is no personal touch in the place, it's rather... unnerving. If she didn't act so comfortable here, I would assume this was a random building.

I walk back to where she lay in order to wake her up. But as I get closer, I notice how comfortable she is, how peaceful. I noticed the dark circles under her eyes when I brought her back to my place. I had expected her to sleep longer, but she was out for barely thirty minutes.

Deciding she needs this, I exit the room and find a way to occupy myself and hopefully find something to eat.

Chapter 3

4 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 5 years ago

Text

I'll Be Seeing You (Kamjie) - Mac

AN: I’m hopping on the Kamjie train. Sue me. ALSO, BLESS Mia for beta-ing and being a dear.

Summary: Across all the years of Kameron and Vanessa’s respective careers, they just can’t seem to get the timing right or stop making out long enough to figure out the timing.

Two years ago

The season 10 press tour was a hectic time.

The dolls were working fifteen-hour days with their only breaks being the short car rides between different filming studios. They were tired physically and emotionally; keeping the secrets of the season under threat of legal action was much more mentally draining than one would think.

Kameron was exhausted.

On top of the immense stress she was under, and the crippling need to perform to the level of her fellow sisters, Vanjie and Aquaria’s not so casual flirting at every given opportunity was driving her slowly insane.

Kameron had been infatuated with Vanjie since she first walked her short frame and loud mouth in the werkroom. Even though she had gone home first, Kameron had set her sights and her heart on the younger queen.

So the post-press flirting between her fellow top four sister and the early out was a bit more irksome to Kameron than the rest of the girls.

It was so irksome in fact that Kameron brought it up to Vanjie, albeit when they were both incredibly drunk and hanging off their respective bar stools for fear they would collapse if they had to stand on their own feet.

“What’s up with you and Aqua?” Dane slurred in between gulps of his drink.

“Oh, me n Gio?” Jose chuckled and scratched the back of his head, nervously ducking away from the blush spreading on his cheeks. “We just talkin’.” Jose’s eyes found Aquaria’s through the mass of bodies. If Dane weren’t seething with unfounded jealousy, he might have found it impressive.

“That don’t look like just talkin’.”

Jose chuckled again, less nervous this time.

“You know how it is. I take what I can get.”

“You can get better than that.”

“You offerin’?”

Dane whipped his head around, making the room spin more than it probably should, and causing him to sway a bit closer to Jose.

His expression must have displayed his shock rather than his eagerness because Jose tried to cover.

“I’m kidding. Kidding.” Jose said, but his tone implied otherwise, and he didn’t move away. The younger man looked down at his hands and mumbled something under his breath about white boys.

They were so close, if Jose had turned his head a few inches upwards they would be breathing each other’s air.

“I wasn’t.”

Before either of them could blink, or think it through, their lips were pressed together. It was a mess of tequila and vodka. Fire and ice. They were testing each other, seeing how far the other would go, how far they could make the other go. Dane heard himself mumble “fuck it” and he let his control slip.

Without any hesitation, Dane pinned Jose against the nearest wall, cornering him in with his own body, invading Jose’s senses. It was a miracle of science and physics that lead them to that point, because Dane doesn’t remember standing up and he for sure doesn’t know how he maneuvered them to their current position, but he wasn’t complaining. Jose was panting and whimpering against Dane’s lips, so most of his higher thinking processes were suspended anyways.

Jose kissed like he lived, loudly and with passion.

They made out aggressively against a dirty bar wall for what felt like minutes and hours at the same time. As time went on, the kisses became less aggressive - slower, softer even. But whenever it would get too soft, Dane would bite Jose’s lip or Jose would pull Dane’s hair and they were right back into battle. They kissed and bit and whispered dirty things until the lights flickered on and they realized they were the only ones left.

They both had sense enough to be embarrassed at their behavior and made sure to keep a wide berth as they exited the bar.

They called an Uber and were back to the hotel in minutes. But before they could part ways, Jose handed Dane’s phone, the phone he hadn’t even realized was gone, back with a cock to his head.

“I put my number in there. Lemme know next time you offerin’.”

Dane blushed and ducked his head. It was easier in the dim bar to pretend that he wasn’t really making out with his long-time crush, but now, in the bright hotel lighting, he couldn’t deny that the butterflies had only increased in magnitude.

Jose seemed blissfully ignorant of Dane’s inner turmoil but took advantage of his lowered head to press a chaste kiss to Dane’s cheek.

“See ya around, Kammy.” Jose smiled as the elevator door closed behind him.

Dane smiled back and hoped his nerves weren’t too obvious. He couldn’t speak on account of his heart hammering out of his fucking chest and closing his throat up.

He made his way back to his room in a daze and didn’t even take his shoes off before passing out. His dreams were filled with dark eyes and the smell of strong cologne mixed with tequila.

Fifteen Years Ago

Dane didn’t know what the fuck he was doing here. He had just come out with some guys he met at work. He had heard the words ‘gay bar’ and ‘new clients’ and like any good gogo dancer slash occasional escort, he had jumped at the opportunity. His new friends had said nothing about there being a drag show.

With the atrocity that was whatever was happening on stage, no one was glancing twice at him. And for a scrawny fresh-faced eighteen-year-old gay boy, that was rare.

Dane found himself holed up at the bar cradling a virgin martini because he couldn’t bat his eyelashes appealingly enough to get one of the bartenders to not ask for an ID.

He finally gave in and turned to look to the small stage where a… woman? Man dressed as a woman? Dane didn’t know the proper language for this type of thing. The small stage housed a… person… performer that was mouthing the words to some 80’s synth-pop song. It didn’t seem like anything special, certainly not as attention-grabbing as he was, goddamnit.

Until the performer began dancing.

They were dropping and dipping and throwing their body around the stage in a sort of practiced chaos. It was alarming and exhilarating to watch and Dane quickly found himself enthralled.

He got up from the bar to walk toward the stage. Up close, he could see the layers of makeup pasted on the performer’s face. He could see the flaws, could see the creases around the eyes. Could see the crack of the illusion, but it only made him more intrigued.

The performer looked down at him and motioned to the tips in her hand. She broke her flawless lip-synch to speak to him. “It is customary to tip a lady if you’re ogling the goods.” She winked.

Dane blushed at being called out and rummaged around in his pockets for bills. He gave her five dollars and mouthed, ‘sorry.’

She smiled kindly and shook her head to say, ‘don’t worry about it.’

He backed up into the crowd and watched as she finished her performance in a jump and split. He cheered and clapped along with the other patrons.

Dane watched, utterly captivated as performer after performer awed him. They each did something different, each had their own schtick that made them unique. He tipped each and every one of them.

As the show ended, Dane realized he had lost track of his buddies. He was just about to head for the door, but something made him stay. He didn’t know why but he got the feeling that he needed to stay.

Dane sat up at the bar again, and not ten minutes passed before a familiar face sat down next to him. The… man, well, now he was a man, had kind eyes and a patient smile.

As was customary for Dane, he immediately started apologizing. “I’m sorry ‘bout earlier, I never been to a drag show before an’ I don’t really know the rules.”

“Don’t sweat it, kid. We all started somewhere.”

The stranger didn’t seem too afraid to speak his mind, but Dane, at least when he was nervous, couldn’t ever seem to find his voice. They ended up talking for hours. Well, the stranger did most of the talking, but Dane began to warm up to him near the end, even cracking a few jokes here and there. He found out he had more than he’d have thought in common as an 18-year-old gay boy growing up in rural Tenessee with a fifty-something-year-old drag queen from New York.

Dane came back next week, and the next week, and the week after that. He eventually convinced Bianca to let him lounge around the already cramped dressing room in exchange for cleaning her wigs and styling them (she had found out quickly Dane was a wizard with hair.)

Finally, one night, Bianca, convinced him to let her put makeup on him, show him how pretty he could be as a woman. Dane had rolled his eyes but let her do her thing.

When he saw himself he nearly screamed. He looked… horrible. He looked like a clown.

Maybe that makeup worked for Bianca, but it certainly didn’t work for him.

“What’s wrong?”

“The contour is too much here.”

Dane, unprompted picked up a brush and began to blur the harsh line a bit. He dipped into the darkest of the colors Bianca had and softened his jawline. Grabbed a small brush and buffed his eyeshadow out. He smeared and pushed and cleaned up what he thought would look good. When he finally looked at himself in the mirror… it wasn’t him at all.

It was someone else. Someone else whose makeup skills could use a bit of work, but who definitely had potential, at least according to Bianca.

After two weeks of performing with his work-in-progress mug and his generic drag name, Dane felt he was finally getting the hang of this whole adulting thing.

He quit his job at the strip club, followed Bianca’s advice and took up hairstyling. He started having a steady income and a job he didn’t regret in the morning.

Dane started living life as Kameron Michaels.

And life as Kameron Michaels was pretty damn good.

Four Months Ago

They had a gig together. Well, a bunch of other Drag Race girls and a handful of local queens had a gig together. Kameron and Vanjie just happened to be some of those girls.

Kameron was doing her makeup and trying her best to ignore Asia. Her closest friend was very much aware of Kameron’s little crush and liked to remind her of it at every given moment.

Kameron had asked her nicely to please not do this. Well, actually, her exact words were more along the lines of I swear to Jesus H Christ, Asia if you fuck this up I’ll strangle you.

But it was Asia, so Kameron didn’t know what she expected.

For her part, Asia did hold back… for about five minutes. Then she was all up in Vanjie’s business asking about Brooke Lynn.

Vanjie was joking back, giving just as good as she got, but the playfulness wasn’t there. Kameron could tell Asia was hitting too close to home with some of her comments. The longer it went on, the more Kameron tried to cut in.

“Where you goin’ Vanj? Goin’ to call Brooke Lynn?”

“Asia, knock it off,” Kameron called over to her sister. “She doesn’t want to talk about it. Let her be.”

Something flashed in Asia’s eyes a moment, something angry and fierce, but it was gone as soon as it came, as was Vanjie, who stormed out of the dressing room.

Kameron followed a few minutes later, giving the younger queen time to cool off, or punch something, or… yell. She found her leaning against a wall in the far hallway. Kameron tried not to think about the last time she saw Vanjie pressed against a wall.

“Hey.”

“Do you want company? Cause if not, that’s okay, just tell me and I’ll go. But I wanted to see how you were because you seemed upset and I don’t want you to be upset so I came out here to see if I could make you less upset and I-”

“Kameron.”

“I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Vanjie nodded.

“Sorry. I’ll just…” Kameron motioned back down the hall.

“No, stay.” Vanjie grabbed Kameron’s hand. “Please,” she added.

“Okay.”

Kameron dropped Vanjie’s hand and slowly slid down the wall. She stopped halfway down and held up a finger, making a funny face. She slid down a bit more and stopped again. Then slid down all the way.

Vanjie was in stitches she was laughing so hard.

“And they said you didn’t have a personality.”

It was Kameron’s turn to crack up.

A beat of silence passed before Kameron spoke up. “Congratulations on your season by the way. You were incredible. You should be proud.”

“Proud of walkin down the runway in a bodysuit every week?”

Kameron shook her head. “No. Proud of making the world fall in love with you.” Kameron met Vanjie’s eyes and had to look away a second later. “The real you, this time.”

“Kameron-”

“Dane.” Kameron corrected.

“Dane.” Vanjie tested the name out on her mouth. It felt weird but right at the same time. “Do you really think so?”

“I really do.”

Something passed between the two of them, something familiar yet foreign. An energy… or a vibe… or a connection of some kind. Suddenly everything fell into place, and Kameron was burying her fingers in Vanjie’s short hair before she could think about what she was doing. Their lips were inches apart, and there was no booze this time, nothing to blame it on. This wasn’t about to be a kiss of passion or a kiss of regret. This was purposeful, practiced.

Their lips were centimeters apart… when suddenly a voice called out.

“Big D! Dane! Kam! Where you at?”

The voice sounded too close for comfort, and the moment was effectively broken. Kameron sighed with her forehead pressed against Vanjie’s. They stayed like that as long as it was safe to do so before Asia’s voice came from the hallway they were in. Kameron pulled back and stood up.

“Wait.” Vanjie followed her up on her feet, and pulled Kameron close and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “To remember me by,” Vanjie spoke dramatically.

“As if I could forget you.”

Vanjie laughed, but Kameron meant it.

One year ago

Jose was screaming.

He was yelling and wanted to throw things and felt like he needed to hurt someone, hurt something back.

Brock had left his apartment ten minutes ago with a half-hearted apology and too many excuses to qualify as a reason.

Jose was alone in his apartment with a broken heart and his mother’s voice telling him to stay away from the white boys. They only break your heart, she said. And however much Jose hated to admit it, she was right.

He called Alexis.

She told him she would be there if she could. Told him to take a shower, eat some ice cream, cry it out. It was all good advice, but Jose didn’t want it. He wanted someone to be mad with him. He needed someone to be irrational with him. He didn’t want responsible, normal advice, he wanted more than that.

V: u wanna do something reckless

K: where do I meet you?

V: i knew you were that girl

An old red truck pulled up to Jose’s apartment not twenty minutes after the younger man’s first text.

Jose hopped in without thinking twice.

“Where we headin’?”

“I don’t care, just drive.”

“Okay.”

They drove for miles and miles and miles until the distant city lights’ only purpose was to light the side of Dane’s face. They drove up and up and up into the neighboring mountains that surrounded Los Angeles. Music on the radio blared in Jose’s ears and his mind was blessedly quiet, filled with the sound of the whipping wind and his empty chest.

They rolled to a stop finally at some touristy lookout spot, but Jose didn’t pay it any mind. Dane hopped out of the truck without a word and led Jose cautiously by the hand to sit in the bed of the truck; the two sat looking out at the city below them, the life they’d left behind. Dane pulled out a blanket from god knows where and covered their legs and feet.

“He broke up with me.”

There was a beat of silence.

“I’m sorry, JJ.”

They were the first words Dane had spoken since they had gotten out of the truck. Jose felt bad, felt like a horrible person for dumping all his baggage on the older man. Sure they were friends, sure they talked about important stuff, but not like this, never like this. They had kissed, there was history, he shouldn’t be crying to Dane about another guy, it wasn’t right.

But no matter how not right it was, Jose couldn’t keep his mouth shut, a well-known flaw of his.

“He said he loved me, but he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He said he didn’t want to lead me on.” Jose laughed bitterly. “Bit late for that asshole. We’ve been dating for four months. You in this. You can’t just leave.”

Dane nodded along with Jose’s words, letting him vent. Letting himself be Jose’s personal sounding board.

“And don’t even get me started on his fuckin feet, Mary. Jesus, those toes were na-sty.”

Dane opened his mouth to chime in, but Jose kept on his tirade.

“But like I loved him, ya know? And I thought he’d love me too, but guess I was wrong cause if he fuckin’ liked me he wouldn’t be a fuckin’ DICK.”

“Well-” Dane started to speak.

Jose cut him off again. “I just don’t get it. If he didn’t want me, he shoulda said so when we were suckin’ face in front of a hundred fuckin cameras.”

Dane couldn’t contain his chuckle at that one.

Jose finally turned to look at his conversation partner. “What you smilin’ at hoe?”

Dane tried to control his giggles, but he couldn’t. “Nothin, I just didn’t know you were on season 11.” His words were interspersed with light chuckles.

Jose’s face went white.

“Shit. I fucked that up huh.”

“Sure did.”

They both proceeded to burst into another round of giggles before Jose tried and failed to be very serious and made Dane promise not to tell. Dane interlocked their pinkies amidst laughter and promised.

A few more minutes passed before Jose began to shiver at the cool air up in the mountains; he shifted closer to Dane.

Dane was on edge. He was pretty sure that Jose knew about his crush because his heart was pounding against his chest and there was sweat soaking his brow. Dane stiffened up at the contact on instinct, but Jose just rolled his eyes and picked Dane’s arm up to wrap it around himself. Dane smiled to himself and tried to ignore the guilt in his gut. He shouldn’t feel this way. Jose literally just broke up with someone.

“I can hear you overthinkin’.”

“Sorry, I just-”

“Stop apologizin’! Just relax.”

Dane did his best.

The two stayed that way for a while, with Jose tracing patterns on Dane’s chest through his shirt and Dane trying not to pass out from the rush of affection. Jose traced words and pictures and a future he had always dreamed of. It looked a little like this.

At one point, it looked exactly like this: Jose in the back of a beat-up old truck with a beautiful boy who would move heaven and earth (or drive to his home in the middle of the night) for him…

Dane let Jose fall into a light sleep, brushed the younger man’s short hair with his fingertips, and tried to slow his heart to fit the mood. Eventually, it did, but only after flipping the fuck out in his chest for a solid half-hour.

When the breeze began to bite more than caress, Dane ran his hand up and down Jose’s arm to wake him gently. The younger man groaned and buried his head deeper into Dane’s chest.

“C’mon, baby. Let’s get you home.”

Jose pouted, but let himself be coerced, and practically carried into the truck. The drive back was basically the same, but this time Jose kept his and Dane’s fingers intertwined.

They pulled up to Jose’s apartment sooner than either would have liked.

Jose stalled a bit, using his other hand to trace where his fingers interlocked with Dane’s. But he could only do that for so long before the lonely apartment called to him.

“Thanks for tonight, Kammy. You da best.” Jose pressed a quick kiss to Dane’s cheek and ran inside before either of them could say anything more.

Dane sat outside Jose’s apartment for a little while, letting his head spin and turn and over analyze every touch. Only after a light in the window went out did Dane finally pull away.

Now

Dane was beating himself up mentally for what felt like the millionth time since the tour started when Jose came in.

Werq the World was exhausting. Anyone who told you otherwise was lying or a sociopath (or Violet, who seemed to only become more energized the more cities they visited.)

Dane was beating himself up because this was his last show until the South American leg started. Probably the last time he’d see Jose for the next few months.

The two had gotten increasingly close over the course of several cities, sitting beside each other on the bus and talking quietly in dressing rooms. They hadn’t… done anything. Which was maybe what was most infuriating. The past two years had shown they were both very bad at keeping their hands off one another. But alas, it was the last day of tour and Dane was beating himself up about not just fucking doing something when Jose walked in.

“Hey, Danemals, get it? Like the yogurt? Danimals?”

Dane would have cracked up if he weren’t having an existential crisis at the moment.

“Woah, what’s up? You look like you’re stressin’.”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m just being dramatic.”

“Hold up a hot second, Mary! You talked me through so many fuckin’ breakdowns by now, let me help you out this time.”

Dane sighed and sat down. Fuck it. He thought. It’s the last day of tour. If this goes badly, I can just never see him again, right?

Dane took a deep breath in and out. “JJ, I like you. I mean I have liked you for a long time now. And I know you said somethin’ one time about being done with white boys, which I totally get by the way - I’ve been there too - but I really think that we could be good together if you gave me a chance. And I also know you aren’t really looking to date right now, but I think I’d make a great boyfriend, and I know we wouldn’t see each other all that much, but I think we could make it work. I want to make it work because I really like you and-”

“Dane.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

“But-”

Jose stopped him with his lips this time, a much more effective tool than his words. Jose smiled when Dane didn’t immediately kiss back, shock overtaking him. But eventually, Dane composed himself to return the kiss, lips synching up with Jose’s almost on instinct.

And what a kiss it was.

No holds barred, everything on the line. It was a practiced sort of messy, the kind that meant new beginnings.

Dane only pulled away from Jose when breathing became a necessity. But even between gulps of air, Dane pecked Jose’s lips over and over and over again, just because he could.

“I like you too,” Jose said against Dane’s lips, smiling all the while.

Dane pulled Jose even closer and kissed him once, twice, and once more for good measure, with Jose giddily laughing with ever press of Dane’s lips to his own.

“Why’d you keep kissin’ me like that?” He manages to get out between smiles.

“Just givin’ you something to remember me by.”

Jose smiled at his own words echoed back at him.

“As if I could forget you.” He repeated.

#rpdr fanfiction #kameron michaels #vanessa vanjie mateo #kamjie #fluff #light angst #getting together #ill be seeing you #mac #canon compliant

18 notes · View notes

scribble-fics · 6 years ago

Text

What were you thinking (raffle winner writing)

For @arlotg uwu they wanted a spinner angst/fluff fic uwu. Hope you enjoy darling!

It was late. Midnight blue had held the sky captive to it's abyssal color. Tiny shimmers of light twinked above and the moon barely shines on the earth.

Twisted and shaped like a Cheshire cat grin. The autumn air was chilly, not unbearable however. Just gusts of cool air here and there.

Arlo was resting on a rundown rooftop in a bad part of town. Not really caring about the people below them and more so on the night sky.

They were waiting. As patiently as they could for a certain someone to join them on the rooftop like always.

As if on cue, there was a thud and silence. It pierced the air like a dagger and both pondered on what to say.

"So. You showed up this time" arlo's words were crisp, clear, and laced with venom. Not really meaning to be but they couldn't help it.

"Of course i did."

Hearing his voice made them shiver slightly as they looked over their shoulder they finally saw him.

He looked tired. Restless. Ready to give out yet still standing strong. His scales lightly shimmered in the light of the street lamps below and his hair was tossled slightly.

"I missed you."

A genuine smile lay on his features as the two locked eyes. Arlo sighed and fully turned to the villan.

"You've had every chance to come see me"

"Well work-"

"Just say the league. You don't 'work' in some cubicle you kill people and plot against heros."

Silence fell again. Both unsure of what to really say or do. It was hard dealing with spinner's occupation. It was hard to feel like his top priority when arlo knew that the league was.

"Right.."

It was awkward. What used to be wholesome meetups filled with comfort and laughs, was now a battleground of mixed emotions.

"Forget it, how was your day?" Arlo mumbled out and fidgeted with their fingers in their hoodie pocket. Trying to atleast push aside this upcoming conversation for another time.

"No, i won't forget it. Look i warned you from the beginning what i was, what i do. I told you not to get attached. I told you-"

"You act like this isn't your fault either! You fell in love with me too! You asked me to be yours! You were the one who said 'i love you' first!"

Spinner's eyes widened as he watched tears pool at the other's eyes. Unable to move and comfort them, although if he did he'd just be pushed away.

"You act like im some sort of leech that clung to you, like some burden you can't get rid of! Am i a chore to you shuichi?!"

More. More tears. More outcries. More truth.

More.

"All I've ever done for you is care! Unlike those others you parade around with who would gut you the second you slipped up!"

He knew it was true. He knew the others didn't really care about his health or well being. The cared about the objective.

"I've given you food, water, a place to sleep, medication,money, love, and support! I gave you everything I've ever owned and had no hesitation to it!"

Again more truth, arlo had given him everything he could have ever needed or asked for. Yet spinner seemed to never give them anything but more problems.

"Yet here we are! Standing on a damn rooftop and we're watching ourselves slip apart.." arlo's voice was soft now, crumbled from shouting. Crumbled from the truth.

"Arlo-"

"Don't talk to me. I wouldn't want to be a burden for you anymore. So just forget it."

With that, arlo moved finally. Past spinner and to the rusty old latter that allowed an exit to this all.

All spinner could do was stand there. His mind screaming for his body to move but it refused

Days had pass since that night. Spinner did just what was stated and kept quiet to arlo. Not wanting to bother them with anymore problems.

Yet somehow problems stirred even when he was gone.

Because that's just how the world works. Always trouble for someone to deal with.

"Alright I'm not gonna tell you again, hand over your money and valuables!"

Oh great, another wannabe criminal who steals with threats. Arlo sighed and looked to the man,

"I don't have any. So piss off would you?" Trying to scoot to one side of the alleyway, arlo just wanted to scoot past and let the guy go bother someone else.

"Don't move or I'll blow your fucking brains out!"

"Go ahead."

Two words that hung in the air heavily. The man was slightly shaking and still held the gun perfectly positioned to the others skull.

Click.

"I'm warning you-"

"You're stalling. A real criminal would just do it. If a real villan were here-"

BANG

"Good thing i was right?"

It happened in a flash. The gunshot went off and arlo's ears were ringing, but they didn't feel dead. No, arlo felt two hands quickly pushing their body out the way.

Looking up from the pavement, spinner was smiling wide. The man with the gun had been stabbed it looked like. However all arlo could notice was the gunshot wound in spinner's shoulder.

"That was close huh?" His voice was teetering from here to there and he finally stumbled down on the pavement too, clutching his shoulder and hissing.

Arlo slowly crawled to him and lightly touched his hand that was covering the wound. The feel of his tough scales was so inviting and familiar.

"You're hurt.."

"I'll live. Unlike you if i didn't intervene. What the hell were you thinking being so reckless with your words?"

"I thought..he was bluffing, I don't know. I felt like i had nothing else to loose.."

The both of them were quite now. The silence however didn't stop arlo from gently untying the mask spinner wore and moving his hand, snugly wrapping it around the wound.

The sigh that followed afterwards cut through the air and spinner turned to look the other in the eye,

"I'm sorry.."

"You're not the one that stormed off the roof that night shuichi-"

"No but i should have. I should have said you were right. I should have stopped you and said that i was sorry for being..well, for being me. You don't deserve a life like this, being ignored and having to take care of some sad sack of a villan."

"..yeah but i want to live life like this. I was to worry about you and take care of you. I want to desperately cling to you when you get home because you were in danger. I want to make you feel safe.."

The couple both smiled and took a moment to really reflect on what the other said. Both hearts running rapid like the two were in a highschool crush situation.

"I love you"

"I love you too. Now lets go clean that disgusting wound because all i smell is blood"

"Good idea im gettin' dizzy"

(Hey I'm not dead! Just really sick lol. Hopefully this is okay and yoy enjoy reading it!! Sorry it took so long!!))

#bnha #mha #raffle winner writing #bnha x oc #mha x oc #bnha spinner #shuichi iguchi #bnha shuichi #mha shuichi #mha spinner #my hero academia #baku no hero academia

28 notes · View notes

janiedean · 6 years ago

Note

Reading the JB + stump meta, I felt there could be so much to unpack also about gender/roles in Westeros, there. J not being (a) "whole" (man) bc he thinks he can't *fight* or *have sex with a woman* without his right hand, C thinking he could only "fumble at" her and downgrading him from ideal lover/"me as man" to "undesirable servant I'll let fill my cup", B still seeing him as fighter *and* attractive + wondering if he'd like her to be soft and helpless even while playing knight to his DID..

man you’re opening the hoover damn here if you want to talk to me about jaime and brienne’s gender roles reversal X°DDDDDDD ANYWAY SINCE YOU SO NICELY ASKED

first, as my bro @ofwickedlight has pointed out here and here jaime is actually pretty.... not toxic-masculine for westeros standards actually all the contrary, and he already doesn’t have the notions about women being supposedly inferior that most other people have (I’m referring you to those metas because they explain it better than I could here), so we’re already discussing someone who technically is starting from a better vantage point when it comes to deal with that notion

now, going on each specific point you said...

jaime:

as far as jaime is concerned his problem isn’t specifically tied to his lack of masculinity attached to the hand but the hand itself in the sense that if he was born to be a warrior taking it from him is basically taking his main source of pride/joy from him and it makes him useless on his job since it’s being in the *kingsguard*, and given that he can’t be with cersei in public of course he makes up for it with his chivalric prowess... which he doesn’t have anymore. like, that is a self-esteem blow of epic proportions because if he doesn’t have that then he has nothing else going for his supposed usefulness (and mind how he keeps himself alive also thinking he’ll see cersei again because that makes him feel like he can survive another day - if he doesn’t have his skills he’ll have the woman he loves/who loves him, right?) and he has to command the kingsguard without what makes him a knight and so on. now, the thing is that he has to eventually find out that he can fight and have sex and so on also without the right hand and that doesn’t define him whatsoever, but that doesn’t matter because the way he processes things as I said in that other post, he equates feeling good with both sex and sword fights, so taking his ability from one also might mean taking away the other and guess what, if you don’t count the sept sex, he and cersei haven’t really... DONE ANYTHING that’s not her trying to have sex with him and him refusing her when he realizes she’s disgusted since then, which could cement it. but it’s not that it makes him feel like a woman in a derogatory sense, it’s mostly about him feeling like he doesn’t have anymore what makes him good at his job or makes him cersei’s mirror, and mind that until he meets her again and it goes like shit he’s subconsciously aware that she wouldn’t like it if he looked different from her:

The reflection in the water was a man he did not know. Not only was he bald, but he looked as though he had aged five years in that dungeon; his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don't look as much like Cersei this way. She'll hate that.

now, if she loves him that much, should she give a damn? yeah, my point exactly. and while he tells himself that he has to go back to her, he knows subconsciously that she would hate for him to be back changed enough that she can’t recognize herself in him, which should already suggest a lot. but we also have another thing on the other side of the barricade, ie when he asks after brienne when qyburn’s treating him:

"I will ask after her. What is this woman to you?""My protector." Jaime had to laugh, no matter how it hurt.

and okay, he finds it hilarious for obvious reasons, but he doesn’t go and think it’s ridiculous. actually, he is the first one who says she’s his protector. AND, in the tub:

"Does the sight of my stump distress you so?" Jaime asked. "You ought to be pleased. I've lost the hand I killed the king with. The hand that flung the Stark boy from that tower. The hand I'd slide between my sister's thighs to make her wet." He thrust his stump at her face. "No wonder Renly died, with you guarding him.”She jerked to her feet as if he'd struck her, sending a wash of hot water across the tub. Jaime caught a glimpse of the thick blonde bush at the juncture of her thighs as she climbed out. She was much hairier than his sister. Absurdly, he felt his cock stir beneath the bathwater. Now I know I have been too long away from Cersei. He averted his eyes, troubled by his body's response."That was unworthy," he mumbled. "I'm a maimed man, and bitter. Forgive me, wench. You protected me as well as any man could have, and better than most."

now, I think people wrote novels of meta on here but for my purposes, note that first he thinks the sight of the stump distresses her when instead she’s most likely skittish because she’s bathing naked with another naked guy and from someone who thinks she’s ugly/undesirable, bathing naked with someone else is exactly the kind of thing that’d make you skittish, so it wasn’t the stump, then he tells her everything he did with it and she doesn’t care, and she only jerks up when he mentions renly and her failure to protect him, not before. THEN he gets hard looking at her and he’s... I mean, you can see that he has a pretty fucked up conception of sexuality if he thinks ‘okay I’ve been too long away from c.’ then ‘oh fuck she’s making me hot’ when she gets him hard, but never mind that. also, he’s troubled by his own body’s response which is what a fifteen year-old guy would even think and he feels halfway guilty for having felt attracted to someone else which again, he has a fucked up conception of sexuality, but never mind that, what does he say to apologize? ‘I’m bitter and you did a better job than most would have,’ ie: men, and he’s aware that she basically kept him alive throughout that entire thing and doesn’t think she’s lesser for it, all the contrary.

tldr: jaime himself doesn’t see his own condition as ending up in the damsel’s position as demeaning nor has any problem seeing brienne as someone who can and will do what most men would, and has no issue whatsoever with the idea of her protecting him, which is why I keep on saying that we’re in full on reverse gender-coded territory here and that jaime can’t give two fucks about it - he doesn’t, but because he’s gone outside gender norms when he was young and has no technical issue with the idea of women not being inferior and so on (and he also gives zero fucks about how you look, see tyrion), but at this point he doesn’t have the scope to see the entire situation and he has no idea of that nor that he might actually be having feelings when it comes to brienne because again, he’s spent all his life 100% convinced that he and c. are a package deal;

and count that we’re talking about a guy who romanticizes everything he touches to insane degrees - knighthood, his sister, his family and so on - and that when seeing that it’s not the case reacts seriously badly, *but* his relationship with brienne is pretty much devoid of it because when they met they didn’t like each other and he didn’t exactly put her on a pedestal, she earned it in his eyes same as he earned his place in her chart of people she actually admires/loves.

the rest is under the cut because this got long bye.

cersei:

I’ll try to keep this short and objective lest people decide I need to chill (*rolleyes*) but as you said, the thing is that again: cersei wants herself in a male body because she wishes she was born a guy so she could be in the position she yearns for ie tywin’s heir. period. jaime’s needs or personality or whatever matter zero to her but until he thinks they want the same thing then it’s all I’M NOT WHOLE WITHOUT HIM. except that (affc quotes):

"Fool. No one who wears a crown is ever safe." She looked about the hall. Mace Tyrell laughed amongst his knights. Lords Redwyne and Rowan were talking furtively. Ser Kevan sat brooding over his wine at the back of the hall, whilst Lancel whispered something to a septon. Senelle was moving down the table, filling the cups of the bride's cousins with wine as red as blood. Grand Maester Pycelle had fallen asleep. There is no one I can rely upon, not even Jaime, she realized grimly. I will need to sweep them all away and surround the king with mine own people.

"You were better, before you lost your hand. Ser Barristan, when he was young. Arthur Dayne was better, and Prince Rhaegar was a match for even him. Do not prate at me about how fierce the Flower is. He's just a boy." She was tired of Jaime balking her. No one had ever balked her lord father. When Tywin Lannister spoke, men obeyed. When Cersei spoke, they felt free to counsel her, to contradict her, even refuse her. It is all because I am a woman. Because I cannot fight them with a sword. They gave Robert more respect than they give me, and Robert was a witless sot. She would not suffer it, especially not from Jaime. I need to rid myself of him, and soon. Once upon a time she had dreamt that the two of them might rule the Seven Kingdoms side by side, but Jaime had become more of a hindrance than a help.

like: the moment he tells her ‘cersei you’re fucking up’ and actually tries to counsel her, after he loses the hand, he becomes.... MORE OF A HINDRANCE THAN A HELP. like. I need to rid myself of him. that’s.... not exactly what you think of someone who’s your other half or should love no matter what. and as you pointed out, the moment he loses the hand she basically downgrades him because he can’t be the man she wants to be and who cares about what he needs or wants, that’s not even taken into consideration. and tbh in that moment cersei is being more pro-reinforcing gender roles than she’d like to think because the moment he loses the hand (which makes him her male counterpart too, and one who can defend her in time of need like no one else could) and shows that he has a personality that’s, surprise!, not hers, she has no use for him anymore. also counting that cersei is the incarnation of internalized misogyny the whole thing certainly doesn’t go in her favor. and she’s actually pissed off he doesn’t fill her cup and throws it at him while full of wine later but never mind that, the thing is that for how much she hates men for holding her down as a woman she does the exact same thing to anyone else she can get away with including jaime, and that’s not loving someone back regardless because they’re your other half which is what jaime desperately wants instead. like jaime’s entire system is built on the idea that he loves her but she loves him back, and when he finds out it’s not the case, well, friendly reminder he did burn that letter and is trying to put himself back on track;

also: count that she dreamed THEY’D RULE THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, but jaime could have ruled the seven kingdoms when he killed aerys and when ned went inside the room he basically went and said OH HEY HELLO YOU’RE JUDGING ME TOO BAD BUT YOU WANT THAT THRONE? YOU CAN 100% HAVE IT BYE. like. it’s her dream. it was never his and she doesn’t even realize that, which says all about how much she’s aware of his emotional needs but nvm that.

brienne:

this one is the most complicated to unpack imo but that’s because brienne is in the sort-of-unique position of being the only one in between the two of them who manages to go past gender roles completely but actually doesn’t necessarily relish it;

as in: a lot of people assume that brienne wants to be a knight because SHE WANTS TO DO MEN THINGS but no, brienne wants to be a knight because a) it’s the job that better suits her built, b) it allows her to not being stuck at home in a role she hates surrounded by people who make her feel inadequate, c) it fits with her ideas about honor and allows her to have a chance at good things. as in, her key quote in acok was:

"Because it will not last," Catelyn answered, sadly. "Because they are the knights of summer, and winter is coming.""Lady Catelyn, you are wrong." Brienne regarded her with eyes as blue as her armor. "Winter will never come for the likes of us. Should we die in battle, they will surely sing of us, and it's always summer in the songs. In the songs all knights are gallant, all maids are beautiful, and the sun is always shining."Winter comes for all of us, Catelyn thought. For me, it came when Ned died. It will come for you too, child, and sooner than you like. She did not have the heart to say it.

now, this is basically telling you black on white that brienne would rather live in a song where the sun is always shining, if you die it’s okay because people will remember you, the knights are never not gallant (like the ones that she had to fight off all her life), the maids are beautiful (like she’s not) and everything is always better than in real life, and in this sense meeting jaime basically strips that from her but not enough. in the sense that he makes her realize that reality and songs don’t go well together, but it doesn’t mean she won’t keep trying to behave the way a proper knight should, which is what she does through all of affc;

but brienne also fell for renly when they danced together (DANCING ie what ladies do) and she was wearing a dress and he was basically nice to her while letting her be feminine for once, brienne admires cat for having a woman’s strength and brienne is entirely down with protecting also women along the road and so on, so like... brienne doesn’t hate feminine things, she just doesn’t partake in them because a) she’s better at being a knight which is sadly a man’s job in westeros, b) everyone made fun of her whenever she tried which then added to her overall self-esteem issues;

now, brienne’s basically going around westeros risking her neck to do knightly things even when as a woman it’s 100% more difficult than it’d be if she were a man and taking on that role, but when she wants to weep on jaime’s shoulder she’s basically saying she wants to be vulnerable with him like the soft helpless maidens she’s not like, and guess what, he did that with her when he told her about aerys pretty much, but again, brienne has no preconceived notion of gender roles blocking her because she doesn’t hate the female-coded ones but has taken on the male-coded ones her entire life because she either had to or felt called to or felt more at ease with them;

so like, jaime gives zero shits that she’s defying them and that makes him look even better/more appealing to her because he’s the only man who took her seriously *for real*/for herself and not for how useful she could be. also, as much as some people would like to say she’s not brienne, being a woman into guys, definitely noticed that he’s attractive (the white cloak becomes you + half a corpse and half a god, HMMM) and like, of course she’s into him, but the thing is that on one side she’s bent on being his knight because he trusted her with it and she swore to protect him (before he sent her off), on the other she sees him as the only male candidate who - having come back for her in the bear pit - she could allow herself to be feminine/vulnerable with because that was the only time in her life she actually was the damsel and not the knight.........and he did it without the hand, so the thing is that to brienne he was the knight in not so shining armor (or armor, period), when he jumped into the bear pit without a weapon or anything else to save her life after coming back for her which no one has ever done before, actually until then she has fought off everyone for herself (ronnet connington/hyle and the other guys). so like.. to brienne, his most heroic moment is when he tries to save her without the hand, so she couldn’t link that loss to his supposed lack of masculinity or skills or heroism because he didn’t need that hand to save her;

also I would like to point out that it’s fairly telling that in affc on one side he punches in the teeth the guy that ruined her self-esteem for good and disrespected her so much that when she has the fever nightmare she sees him and wishes jaime was there and would come back for her, while on the other she kills (and fairly bloodily/not gallantly) both timeon and shagwell (who btw had been especially creepy to jaime in his asos povs) thinking that she’s doing it *for* jaime as well and of course none of them knows what the other is doing in this sense. but like, brienne’s literally going knight in shining armor on him to the point where she’s willing to die for him (and that’s why I’m 100% convinced she kills LS to save him doing also the aerys parallel) and she has no issues with that because that’s what she’s good at.... same as he has no issues with it because he 100% accepted that she can do that job and has done it for him better than most people would have. and at the same time she also sees him as someone who would or might let her be also soft and helpless while he sees her as *gentler* than his sister and trusted her with his most well-guarded secret after she literally kept him alive when he was sure he wouldn’t make it. and the hand, to her, matters absolutely nothing.

like, that is why I think that jb is a case of continuous gender role reversal in which he’s coded as the DID 90% of the time and she’s coded as his knight 90% of the time but switch places for that other 10% of the time to a point where they’re basically well outside gender roles both in westeros terms and modern terms (tbqh that too) but it works perfectly for them. like, the point with cersei is that, for as much as she thinks she’s not, she’s *completely* stuck into the westeros gender roles structure and can’t get out or maneuver around it the way cat did or genna did or other women try to because she wants to have the same power men have without beating around the bush and will stick to it and cares for having power more than anything else and works for that. on the other side brienne has been outside gender roles all her life and can’t give two fucks about it even if she suffers for being denied her feminine side, and jaime has seen enough to know that gender roles are bullshit and women aren’t lesser than he is and also mostly wants to have his emotional needs met which he hasn’t had since forever. which is why jb matches perfectly in that sense, because he wouldn’t mind being with someone outside gender roles who gets him and she needs someone who’ll have her exactly the way she is and be into her regardless of her look or her working outside the norms and who would let her also be soft and helpless if she needed it. and that works for them because they could and would and have been that person already, except that they haven’t quite realized it because they’re two assholes who are shit at understanding their own feelings. and that is also why cersei and jaime post hand-loss can’t work, because she needs someone who’s her and looks like her and wants what she wants and jaime does not and never has.

/peace

#jaime x brienne #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #janie writes meta #otp: i dreamed of you #anti-cersei lannister #anti-lannincest #is2g if someone tells me to chill about my opinion re jc LOOK AT THE TWO TAGS BEFORE THIS BEFORE YOU PRESS SEND #thank you #PEACE #Anonymous #ask post

30 notes · View notes