#I'll get to reading it eventually dont get me wrong
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
saltynsassy31 · 1 year ago
Text
I NEED to get this off my chest
Just...ignore me DO NOT COME AFTER ME
Idk if anyone will even see this and altho I hope I'm not the only one in this I rather be ignored and I don't think anyone who follows me cares so here goes
Okay, I really wanna read a glitch in time, but a part of me just... I can't. I haven't been up to date on a lot of Danny Phantom stuff, and I am trying. I am just busy, and I am trying to rewatch the show to refresh my memory first and foremost cuz it has been a hot second, and girlie over here needs a refresher cuz she got the memory of a goldfish
But the reason I can't specifically read glitch in time, even tho I have it with me right now is that...well, I hate the finale of the show, I specifically hate Sam and Danny getting together, especially the way they did, I knew they'd probably be end game but to have it confirmed hurt my soul, I've been avoiding it for that and I know it's silly IM SORRY but it's true 😭😭😭
I feel bad cuz I've only heard good things about it, especially with Vlad, who i love, and I WANT TO, and I hate that what's holding me back is this of all things, its so stupid, I know, I fucking know but UGH! I can't help but cringe. When I first rewatched the final season a while ago I couldn't even finish it
I liked them as friends tbh, it just worked better, imo so I shrivel up inside seeing the two as anything but friends
14 notes · View notes
earlyspringtranscendence · 2 years ago
Text
ik im talking a lot abt the books im reading rn (this is due to the fact that after eons of not having the time or energy i am once again reading books) but theydies i can happily announce that after 2 unsuccessful weapons and wielders books soulbrand has truly captured my enamoration once again i’m kissing keras lovingly and tenderly (the only way to kiss him)
#just got to the scene where he fights edria song & she's so sweet about it and he's so unintentionally flirtatious#ugh !!!!! babygirl <3#like dgmw theres nothing wrong w the first two but like they just haven't been for me#and its like there truly is no rhyme or reason as to why because i love keras i love dawn and reika absolutely#and i especially love seeing keras as . you know. keras. instead of as taelien (but taelien is my sweet angel forever so yk)#like its not like i prefer keras to t or anything i just like seeing his growth and his changing#so idk why the first two didnt like hook me as much as any of the other books within the universe#but anyway. soulbrand has gotten me thank god ! i think i should get the paperbacks for w&w to like#reread them and just see if the medium might make a difference#eventually i wanna own all the andrew rowe books but i do also have to prioritise cause i only have the first 2 aa books#and how to defeat a demon king i found that one second hand as like a library copy im p sure ??? which is cool#so anyway i wanna complete aa first and honestly i do also very much want to own wobm very dearly#but those ones are just for the collection of it all because i dont think i'll ever reread those physically i love the audiobooks too much#and i dont have That much annotating to do in those as opposed to the arcane ascension ones#and then we get into the shatter crystal legacy (not what its called cant right recall rn) of which . i think the second one is out#but anyway ive only read the first one but would love to have that one as well obv#ugh. i love this universe so much it truly is so captivating to me#recently read
6 notes · View notes
silvertheredhairedstranger · 5 months ago
Text
oh i totally forgot in the being-out-of-town hype that turned out to be my birthday weekend but i DID finally secure copies of pksp hgss 1 and 2 AND got the last full volume of xy so hopefully i have all of xy in physical form now since the epilogue isn't in the magazine-release mini volumes :) if there are any add-ons to earlier xy chapters or bonus chapters (the one where y gets a sylveon tho there must be more) in other full volumes then i'll get those eventually but for now!!! aaaaa!!!!!! my heart is full
#its dark n im too lazy to take a pic but tmrw i'll stack em for one#now all i rly need is emerald arc........#speaking of which! i did look at collector volumes for emerald arc too#idc abt the volume covers so i wouldn't mind having collectors/bundled for that arc?#but the first one (9 i think) includes all of v25 which i have had for literal yrs#it might be cheaper to jus get the other two volumes in that bundle separately#and then get v10 to cover the last of emerald arc#idkkkkk i think emerald is the only arc i've never reread bc ive never had physical volumes#i have at least skimmed all the others for various reasons#ik ive reread bits of hgss so now that i have it fully in my hands its time to give it another go#well i was gonna say i have complete (minus emerald) up to xy but i'm still missing 3 and 4 from b2w2#decided a bit ago that i wasn't gonna get sumo volumes as long as viz kept translating sun's team nn wrong#and then the whole....shilly soudo debacle kept me from those#those are both still in mini volumes tho so!!! who knows maybe full release will be better#i dont have a full viz pksp collection anyway (tho iunno if they have exclusive translation rights#in which case it wouldnt matter bc viz would be the only option going forward) so maybe i'll get those eventually from another source#i still need to read swsh............ i still need to finish violet si i can read scvi!!!!!!!!! bc it looks sooooooooo good#another note i actually say v4 of b2w2 out in the wild but it was SO small that it didn't feel worth spending#the same amnt of money on as a regular-sized volume#same situation as rs/v15 tho i got that whole arc in a boxset i think?#if i had to buy it by itself im sure i'd be livid#there are many problems w viz pksp unfort i rly love having them in my hands and in immediate reach
1 note · View note
aventurineswife · 27 days ago
Note
hii there!! this is my first request ever— so sorry if its bad and u dont need to do if id you’re uncomfortable ofc :)) ive had to leave people whom i thought were good friends many times, or ive been abandoned by them and its happened again recently—
so may i ask that you write something with either aventurine or dan heng (u can pick one or both) seeing the reader in their room in the aftermath of having to leave another friend or group of friends? the scenario i have imagined is that the reader is also feeling alot worse than usual since they are starting to feel that they might be the problem. theyre crying about it in their room where the other hears them and comes to check the reader out of worry. the reader talks to them about it and the other comforts them and promises that they wont have to worry about having to leave or being abandoned by them.
so sorry if thats an odd, specific request 🥹🥹 i adore ur writing and i thought it would be cool to ask!! feel free to change anything as you see fit :)
“You Are Not the Storm”
Tags: Aventurine x Reader, Dan Heng x Reader, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Support, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Reassurance, can be read as platonic or romantic.
Warnings: Mentions of loneliness and self-doubt, Emotional distress and crying, Themes of abandonment and self-blame.
A/N: I'm so sorry to hear that, anon 😕 i totally get where you're coming from, I had to leave a friend too because of personal reasons and this has happened to me throughout my life, so I totally understand you. I'll be your friend if you'd like. Hope you like this!
Tumblr media
The room was quiet save for the muffled sound of sobs. The soft light of the moon filtered through the blinds, casting silvery streaks across the floor. You sat on the edge of your bed, head buried in your hands, your shoulders shaking. The hurt was raw, cutting deeper this time. The thought repeated in your mind like a cruel mantra: Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem.
A quiet knock came at the door. You barely registered it, lost in your spiral. Then the door opened gently, and a familiar voice called your name.
“Aren’t you going to sleep?” Aventurine’s voice was soft but carried an undercurrent of concern. His eyes were filled with worry. He leaned casually against the doorframe, trying not to overwhelm you with his presence. “You’ve been awfully quiet tonight. That’s unlike you.”
You sniffled, quickly wiping at your face. “I’m fine,” you lied, though your broken voice betrayed you.
Aventurine tilted his head, his hair catching the moonlight. “You don’t look fine, darling. And I don’t like hearing you cry.” He stepped into the room, crossing the space between you in a few strides before kneeling in front of you. He reached out, but his touch was tentative, giving you space.
You hesitated but eventually let the words spill out. “I had to leave again. Another friend, another group… It keeps happening. And I just… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why am I always the one who ends up alone?”
Your voice cracked, and tears welled up again. Aventurine reached out, this time cupping your hands in his gloved ones. His expression softened, his usual flamboyant charm replaced with a rare sincerity.
“Hey,” he said gently. “Listen to me. This—what you’re feeling—it’s not because you’re flawed. People come and go in life for a thousand reasons. Sometimes, it’s not about you at all. And sometimes… people just don’t see the brilliance that’s right in front of them.”
You shook your head, your doubts still gnawing at you. “But what if it is me? What if I’m too much? Or not enough?”
Aventurine gave a small, sad smile and squeezed your hands. “You’re enough. And anyone who makes you feel otherwise doesn’t deserve you in their life.” His eyes gleamed, his usual playful confidence creeping back in. “Besides, have you considered that maybe you’re just too fabulous for them to handle?”
Despite yourself, a faint chuckle escaped your lips, and Aventurine’s smile widened. “There we go. That’s better. Now,” he said, sitting beside you and throwing a casual arm over your shoulder, “let me make one thing clear. I’m not going anywhere. I’m stubborn like that. You’re stuck with me, darling.”
You leaned against him, letting his warmth and words sink in. For the first time that night, the weight on your chest eased, just a little.
Tumblr media
Dan Heng stood outside your room on the Astral Express. He’d been walking by when he heard the faint sound of crying. At first, he thought it best to give you space, but his worry won out. Quietly, he knocked on the door.
“Come in.” you said, your voice weak.
Dan Heng stepped inside, his eyes scanning the room before landing on you. You sat curled up on your bed, clutching a blanket tightly.
“I heard you,” he said simply, standing a short distance away. “Are you… okay?”
You shook your head, and Dan Heng took a cautious step closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”
You hesitated before nodding, your voice trembling as you spoke. “I’ve had to leave my friends again. I feel like I ruin everything. Like I’m the problem.”
Dan Heng was silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he sat on the edge of the bed, his posture calm and unthreatening. “I don’t believe that. You care deeply about others—that much is clear to anyone who knows you. Losing people hurts, but it doesn’t mean you’re to blame.”
Tears streamed down your face. “But it keeps happening. How can it not be my fault?”
Dan Heng looked at you with quiet intensity. “Because sometimes, people grow apart. Or circumstances force things to change. It’s painful, but it’s not always within your control.” His voice softened. “You don’t have to carry all that blame alone. And you don’t have to worry about me leaving. I’ll stay by your side, no matter what.”
His words settled over you like a soothing balm, and you felt yourself relax slightly. Dan Heng reached out, his hand hovering before gently resting it on yours. “Take your time,” he said. “I’m here.”
And you believed him.
Tumblr media
129 notes · View notes
stanfordswifey · 4 months ago
Text
"I'll be here for you, my love"
Tumblr media
Ford Pines x reader
You've been in the hospital for 5 years straight, your cancer developing and spreading. The tumor you had ignored had now developed and evolved, spreading to your organs, causing your stage 1 liver tumor to evolve into stage 4 metastasis.
Tumblr media
Just yesterday the doctor walked into your room quietly, it was unusual. She had some news to break to you. "I'm afraid you only have a couple more days left. I've told you this before but its any time now, i'm sorry." You smiled at her, noticing the tear falling down her cheek and frown mentally, keeping a fake strong facade. "It's not your fault. I'm glad you tried your.best and never gavs up on me." Your hand curls into a ball under the sheet, doing your best to sray strong. The doctor left soon after, leaving you alone in the room with only your thoughts, your brain wandered 'will i tell ford?' 'Will he be okay?' 'I hope he's going to be fine without me'
You stared mindlessly at the ceiling, thoughts and memories rolling around in your mind like a film for a movie, you curse at the solidarity of your life, eventually falling asleep. You felt pathetic, worthless even, knowing that your husband too busy to even worry about you.
(You eventually fall asleep and wake up the next day)
It was another dreary day at the hospital, the sight of white boring walls and minimalistic decor making you lose your sanity by the minute, not having anything to suppress the agonizing pain you felt in your body.
-ford's pov-
"It has been a while since I last visited them at the hospital"
He murmurs, to no one but himself.
You've been gone for so long, off he visited you time to time, but ultimately focusing on the portal more and more to distract himself from worrying about you too much.
As he was working on his portal, his phone suddenly rang, causing him to jump at the sudden sound, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself away from the table (yk those chairs w wheels he basically just rolled over to the phone LMAO).
He accepts the call, ruffling his hair in frustration.
"Ford Pines here, who is this?"
"Ah, sorry, I'm doctor may here, what is your relationship to (reader)?"
He hums, fidgeting with a machine part with his fingers
"I'm their fiancé, what's wrong?"
The doctor clears her throat on the other line,
"I'm sorry to tell you, their tumor has started to spread to numerous other organs, I fear they don't have much time left.."
Ford feels his stomach drop, his hand loosening.
".."
"I suggest you get them out of the hospital and just spend time together, I'm afraid there isn't much we can do now. It's best to spend time while they're still here"
"..I see, thank you doctor."
The call ended, he immediately drops his phone and covers his face with his hands, tears falling down. They really couldn't do anything now. He didn't know what to do.
That night he spent his time sobbing, thinking of ways to help you, looking for a cure, a remedy, anything to help you, he failed miserably.
After a couple hours of thinking it over and breaking down he decided to pick you up from the hospital and spend time together, if you couldn't be there for the entirety of his life, atleast he'd be there for yours.
A/N
Hi hi!! This was shitty! I havent written anything for a while T~T please do send me some ideas/requests or if I did anything wrong plz do comment it down, also English isn't my first language so It's not perfect, this will be like 2 or 3 parts? I dont know yet but I will update :33 thank you again for reading <33
90 notes · View notes
very-d1pper · 4 months ago
Text
inspired by a post from @jamandjazz
How Johnny Cade, Dallas Winston, and Steve Randle are affected by their parent issues.
ok so keep in mind i havent read the book since december (i dont have my own copy) so this might be a bit wrong. im using info from my mind, the movie, the musical, tiktok, and here.
Johnny Cade
so its canon that johnny wouldve ran away if it werent for the gang (starting off strong with dally-johnny parallels OUCH)
the abuse from his parents definitely gave him a fucked up sense on what it means to feel loved
which is why johnny gets along with dally so well, i'll get into that more in dally's part
he 100% thinks that the entire world hates him except for the gang
someone said that he is so sweet its sick, not true. the abuse definitely toughened him up enough that he will be mean to strangers
he canonically is somewhat responsible (going out to the store to buy supplies and giving ponyboy a note)
im saying that because im pretty sure pony says something like twobit and someone else in the gang would forget to buy something johnny remembered
johnny learned that from having to live out on the street sometimes when his parents fought or kicked him out for multiple days
he is the living definition of forgive but never forget
he just wants a home
i personally hc that the abuse started as johnny grew older, maybe when he was 6-8 years old
which is why johnny (especially in the musical) still cares about his parents
because he remembers that they WERE good people
and he hopes to bring them back eventually
Dallas Winston
oh this man...
ran away from his problems. thats canon
his mom died when she gave birth and thats why his dad is the alcoholic deadbeat abuser he is
the abuse from his parents gave him a fucked up sense on what it means to love
which is why he can talk to johnny so well because johnny is used to the type of love dally gives
he 100% hates the world except for the gang
the abuse toughened up both johnny and dally, the thing is dally grew up with it, johnny was raised with love at first
also dally's environment in ny, that place is rough in many areas
tulsa doesnt have that, at least not on the level of ny
he's rough with everyone because thats what he learned
Steve Randle
UGH THIS MAN BRO
screw u se hinton for giving us NOTHING abt him
anyways!!
the neglect sooo fucked him up
then his dad giving physical money for forgiveness?
hell nahhh
steve definitely felt like he cannot be loved without paying someone
like with real money
which made him feel unlovable because he's like broke as fuck
soda was the first person to show him what love actually is
his mom uhh eloped to wherever after steve's birth ig idfk
steve thinks everything in the world comes with a price, even an ounce of love
i literally cant think of shit for this man rn
All Three
accidentally trauma bonding
johnny mentioned something then both steve and dally said "same"
genuinely concerning from an outsider standpoint but really funny to them
if it was modern au darry or soda wouldve sent them to therapy
one time johnny got kicked out and went to the curtis house and found steve in the kitchen
j: "kicked out?"
s: "...yeah"
j: "same."
then dally walks in
d: "bottles got thrown at me in buck's place"
j: "ptsd?"
d: "no-" *remembers he's with two people who had it happen to them* "...yeah"
j and s- "its good."
johnny convinces them to do a cuddle blob thing (the gang's done them before)
darry wakes up and see them, doesnt comment but remembers for blackmail
85 notes · View notes
ech0schamber · 2 years ago
Note
Hello do you still take requests for Bsd?
If you do would you mind writing one for either Poe, Fyodor, Ang, Kunikida or Akutagawa.
It can be a oneshots or headcannons I don't mind and yandere if you care comfortable with that.
Thanks for your time and no pressure with this!
hi!! sorry, but i don't do yandere content, but i'll gladly do some headcanons! you didn't specify what type of headcanons, so ill just do general relationship headcanons ^.^
Tumblr media
☆Poe! he's an absolute sweetheart
☆will definitely buy you anything you want, he just wants his s/o to be happy
☆i can see him not exactly being a fan of pda, like, he wont stop you from holding his hand or giving him a kiss, but he will become incredibly flustered
☆in the beginning of your relationship, you will definitely see Karl dragging Poe towards you since he wouldn't stop mumbling about you and it was annoying Karl
☆you are Karl's parent now, and he claims your lap as a great napping place
☆speaking of naps, please make this man get some sleep, he overworks himself too much
☆doesn't care if he's the big spoon or little spoon, he just enjoys cuddling
Tumblr media
☆fyodor. this man is mysterious to everyone, you are no exception
☆dont get me wrong, if you somehow end up in a relationship with him, you will know/understand him more than anyone else, but he still keeps some secrets from you. he is a terrorist after all
☆this seemingly emotionless man does have a soft spot for you tho, but its still probably not best to surprise him with hugs and such
☆its been stated in canon that he will gift a whole nation to the one he loves, so expect him to spoil you.. in his own way
☆doesn't like pda, but he does like when you hold his hand when your scared. its probably his ego tho
☆will let you cling to him in private, if thats the type of person you are. his only rule is that he can still do his work
☆good luck getting this man to be anything but a big spoon
Tumblr media
☆another man who has a 'secret' soft spot for you
☆please drag this man away from his work. it may be very important work, but his health is even more important -and your need for affection-
☆another man who doesn't like pda, he wants to be professional in public
☆i can see him being an absolute sucker for kisses tho, you could probably kiss your way into getting him to do anything you want
☆probably won't tell you about his past, but you do eventually notice that he visits a cemetery pretty often. its probably not best to ask him, its still an open wound for him
☆very worried about your safety, could probably get a bit possessive without realizing it, but he just wants his s/o to be safe
☆hmm.. i see him as mostly being a big spoon, with the occasional small spoon when he's really stressed
(im so sorry if this doesnt fit him, his character is hard to read)
Tumblr media
☆who doesn't love blondies
☆woo boy, i see him as having mixed feelings about pda. as long as it doesn't mess up his schedule, i cant see him having a problem with it
☆he actually doesn't scold you that often. he knows he can be a bit scary when he scolds certain people *cough cough Dazai cough cough* the only time he really scolds you is if you do something that severally hurts you
☆big cuddlier, but will only be the big spoon, he'll use some excuse like 'i need to protect you in case something happens' but in reality, he doesn't know how he'll react if he's the little spoon, mans not used to being cared for
☆will wake you up at 5am if it means keeping his schedule right. will buy you ice cream (or any treat of your liking) if you bother him enough as an apology tho
☆also, kind of a dumbass when it comes to feelings, you will have to confess to him first. he'll eventually get the hang of it
Tumblr media
☆pretty boy
☆you somehow ended up in a relationship with an emo cat??
☆please give this boy time to warm up to this, he doesn't know how to handle it
☆you're one of the first people to find out about his illness (Gin was the first), he doesn't want you to worry about his coughing. it doesn't help, you end up worrying more
☆shy. but not in the 'uwu im so shy' way.. more like 'idfk what to do shy' he probably freezes up a lot
☆you will have to initiate everything. i promise that he does actually try, he's just so nervous that he's going to mess something up and you'll hate him bc of it
☆please reassure this boy, he is full of insecurities.
☆honestly, small spoon. he absolute adores the feeling of being held, its probably one of the only times he fully relaxes.
☆god forbid if someone ever hurts you, he will hunt them down. please scold him (lightly) when he comes home covered in blood, that shit is not easy to get out of clothing
---------
hope you enjoy this! <3 please feel free to request more
415 notes · View notes
am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months ago
Note
Aita for blocking a friend on instinct? So i (f16) have this friend, (m16) we can call him D, who i've been friends with since kindergarten.
About a year ago, i started growing very close to D through our friend group's dnd campaign we held every friday. I knew him for a long time but that was the first time we had started hanging out out of school. We were talking on snapchat every night just chatting and after a while he started to send much more... revealing snaps. Just his bare shoulders but like without a shirt. He said it was because he had to let his medication for his back dry. I was a little uncomfortable, but we were friends so i didnt think that it would escalate into anything weird.
After about a month, D starts sending snaps in a towel and pictures of his chest which made me very uncomfortable. I kind of let the chatting die down after that because it was the only way i could think of that would be enough to gently let him down easy (i was wrong). I stopped going to the hangouts with that group and kind of distanced myself because how uncomfortable D made me. This only made D try harder to get my attention.
I was still friends with the others in the group so i would often have one-on-one hangouts with the others and watch tv. One thing we watched was Miraculous and we laughed and joked about it all the time. D overheard us or something and went home and binge watched the entire series in a week. Then everytime i ate lunch with that friend group, D would always make direct references to Miraculous or sing the theme song really loud. This wasnt once a day, D would make miraculous references every single minute. He became obsessed with the show (which, for reference of how weird it was, D is a very religious Christian boy. He gets upset if he gets an A- and never drinks caffeine (no problem with any of those things but just understand that kind of guy being deep within the fandom of Miraculous out of all shows 😭)). It was so bad, and it once again was making me very uncomfortable.
Eventually, it got to an insufferable point where D changed his route to go home and made sure to pass me every day after school and wave. I started avoiding him in the halls, he would always ask obscure questions that werent that important. I couldn't understand why he couldn't get that i didnt want to be friends with him anymore so i set boundaries.
A text i sent to D: i apologize if i ever caused any misunderstanding, but i would like to make it clear that im not romantically interested in you. i can see that you have been trying to grow closer, but i dont feel the same way. i don't appreciate being followed around, and i dont like when people force themselves to like the same things i like. its not attractive to be a copy of someone. i enjoy being your friend but it's difficult to disregard these things. if im being totally honest, when you do things like this, it makes me really uncomfortable and borderline creeped out. i know crushes wont disappear overnight but i would appreciate more space. if youre looking for a girlfriend, this isnt the right person, nor the right way to get it. and i wont tell anyone about this so dont worry about word spreading or anything. thank you
D's response: Oh, I'm so sorry I made you think that! I don't have a crush on you, I just noticed how you don't hang out with our friend group as often and I just wanted to make sure that I was being as nice as possible to make sure you weren't mad at us or anything. I did start to think that maybe me trying all that made me seem clingy or annoying, so I'm really sorry for all of that. Thanks for bringing this to my attention, I'll try to do better now!
This didnt sit right with me because after all of that i cannot fathom how that translates to "i wanted to include you". This made me question a lot about the situation.
Reasons i feel like i MBTA: i'm over thinking things and D could be a genuinely a nice person. Its hard for me to read the room and i need to work on that and probably apologize to D.
Reasons i feel like i MNBTA: i should trust my instincts rather than ignore them. I've had a psychological abuser in my family before and the situation could be a stalker behavior that i've learned is not ok to have.
What are these acronyms?
88 notes · View notes
the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
Note
Hello! Merry Chirtmas ! İ just love your blog and can't stop thinking about it ! So, how would tadc react to a female kid reader ? That little girl is cheerful elegant little lady and wear nice Pink dress with bows! She comforted Gangle by saying "don't be sad ! İ love you !" And put some sticker on her mask ! Oh and saying i love you to them before leaving. When Jax is doing something bad she says "Don't be mean! you silly rabbit!"
Caine, Gangle, Zooble, Pomni w/ sweet!kid!reader (platonic)
doing these characters since the wheel chose it (ominously) not sure how much i'll write today but i got a little more in the inbox compared to these past few days so i plan on working that down
Tumblr media
CAINE:
basically treats you like his own kid but hes never been a dad before so hes still learning; torn between him being over protective of you or thinking you're indestructible (which... technically you are as long as youre in the digital world). i think he finds your sweetness adorable, though if theres someone in the circus being mean to you (surprisingly i dont think jax would be too mean. a little bit of a butt? yeah but its not much different than an older brother picking on their younger sibling) i think he would pipe up and not shut up until you get an apology. starts watching IHAs more now that you're here, both to see how youre doing but also to make sure its not too crazy for you.. cant help but let the big scary monster/trial pass when you run up to it being nice. literally just snaps the thing out of existence/away/wherever. loves seeing the look of triumph on your face afterwards
POMNI:
nice towards you and probably over time keeps a closer eye on you but in the beginning i think its more like. you following her like a duckling since shes busy trying to find an exit. honestly i think pomni would have a hard time when it sinks in that theres a little kid here in the circus. how did you get here? when did you get here? i think thats what would prompt her in trying to connect with you, thus you gain another guardian figure! sticking true my idea of pomni being uneasy around kids because they can be gross and have no filter and be unpredictable i think at first she would be a little... tense around you, but overtime becomes more comfortable when she realizes youre not like that. definitely going to take a while, though.. shrugs
GANGLE:
definitely finds you sweet, lets you hang around in her room and mess with her art supplies. probably cries harder when you try to make her feel better after jax does something, usually something that leaves her with a broken comedy mask. i dont think she would let you confront jax about it, though... she appreciates the sentiment but shes not about to make it look like she sent a little kid to defend her, thats only going to give jax even more ammo even if you stood up for her on your own. sometimes lets you put stickers on her mask or glitter... ponders.. i think she reads stories to you too, every night
ZOOBLE:
i think ive already said this before but zooble gives off such older sibling energy, and i cant really explain it other than its just the personality and looks... but i guess that doesnt explain much. shrugs. sweet younger sibling, cool but indifferent older sibling. or at least you think theyre cool. and you tell them every chance you guy. i think they would just give a weird "thaaanks.." the first few times before fully leaning into the older sibling role. dont get me wrong like before they wouldnt just leave you wandering around alone during an IHA, hell i dont think they would there wasnt one going on.. but they wouldnt go out of their way to hang out with you.. but eventually they just kind of keep a closer eye on you. check in on you. ask what youre up to. theyre not attached to you by the hip but theyre definitely present in your life as a role model. tries to make you be less nice, gives you the talk that not everyone is nice and sometimes some people fake being nice in order to get what they want. but in kid terms, obviously... well not little kid terms i still think zooble would be blunt but they wouldnt be harsh
81 notes · View notes
shiny-jr · 9 months ago
Note
pardon my late message i've been letting letting the current damnation chapters sink in the past couple of days after finally taking the quiz (im am still waiting with baited breath but like in a chill way for the rest) but HOLY. MOLY.
i did indeed notice that the MC's have different morality stances, and they match their crimes (granted im still trying to figure out which one did what. cuz rn i got stuck on iago coming fraud or tax evasion, even though theyre super down with murder, but like raven is WAY more down to murder somebody. im just nit paying enough attention to figure it out, really. im having too much fun vibin)
2 THE WAY THE CHARACTERS MAY NOT START OUT ENTIRELY YANDERE FOR THE MC AND INSTEAD DEVELOP THE OBSESSION FOR THEM LATER ON 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌😭😭😭😭😭 BRILLIANTBRILLIANTBRILLIANT. ok so i got heartslabyul on my first attempt so it wasnt as like "obvious" even though trey and cater are both instantly "shocked" i was like "that could just be bc our character is weird it doesnt necessarily mean they yandere switch has been flipped pshaw! 🤭" BUT THEN eventually i got to pomfiore and epel confirmed it when he was like "ive been imagining things i never did before!" and i was like "oh snap! WAIT is *THIS* part of the punishment? like not JUST being sent to another world that is based on a story, but specifically a YANDERE DEATH TRAP? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯"
cuz like, sure, the MC is doing what they can to survive but depending on which one theyre fine to just vibe and let the story take its course if theyve got a good chance to survive not doing anything special. but then the story always gets WEIRD, RIGHT?! stuff always goes wrong! was that part of the vision? or am i going conspiracy crazy?
anyway AMAZING WORK. also you really fed the vil simps on that one story. i thought i was over him and content to be like rook and admire from afar but that SCENE with his hands wrapped around the retainer 🥵 i darn near short-circuited. HOW DARE YOU! (please continue 😉)
its hard to choose a favorite story in this series and i dont want to speak too soon before theyre all out. but i do have favorite bits in each of them.
and i just love the endings to them all. i love the bittersweet nature of all the endings. like none, of them are really romantic in a comforting way (duh its a yandere story) but they do vary in romance level. like by far i think riddle's azul's and vil's are the most romantic while leona and jamil are quite cold and calculating or in jamil's case mostly possessive and manipulative on the surface. it's VERY interesting.
and also bc im silly and you brought up the yandere-ness of the other characters, i start to wonder what happens next in these stories (im not asking for sequels. oh heavens no! never! unless you wanted to, but im mostly just brainstorming character relationships and potential conflicts). like in the savannaclaw story, ruggie and jack are also glued to the MC but not in a really romantic way? ruggie has that "i want to be your #2/by your side forever" which could go either way, but to me initially reads as "jack was pushing his way into MY spot and i want to guarantee he cant have it" rather than a "one day i'll deserve to be by your side romantically and for now i want to ensure i'll always have that opportunity by being next to you and a priority of yours" and then comes leona's proposal at the end, and i was thinking "uhhh but mc is by your side as consort, then ruggie gets pushed out of his spot in favor of the husband taking over. even though ruggie could still be an advisor and confidant, its still like 'move over dude theres another taking priority over you" and then that gets me wondering "what would happen if MC turned down leona? what kinda havoc would he wreak if any? does that put the village in jeopardy if he gets pissed off? what if they accept and they're STILL screwed bc he stops paying attention to the village after he gets the throne? and then the chieftain is taken into the palace and away from the village and has no way back and theyre left to basically flounder without them?"
also i really like how you end your stories with pseudo-cliffhangers? i mean they are but also the plot is mostly resolved and whatever major things that needed to happen happened. and its just the character resolutions and epilogues you dont see. its entertaining. like i said, i like to imagine what happens next and you really leave some stuff open for that.
anyway! thank you so much for sharing your stories!
Oh, for the crimes, just look at one of the questions which I believe asks what you (the quiz taker/MC) committed. Those are currently five of the seven crimes I've listed before, and each MC has committed at least ONE of them. But, they could've always committed more too.
On that other topic, of characters going yandere, one thing I hate is when reading a story and for some reason the characters are already obsessed with the MC but for absolutely no apparent reason. And me personally, I enjoy a bit of build up, which is why I try to implement some in my writing. Which can be a bit hard to do within forty pages when all these other things are happening, but I manage for the most part.
49 notes · View notes
Note
ok so, hello first of all!
i really like your thoughts & analyses abt vita. so im curious about what you think about her becoming a Masked Fool in part 2 and her relationship with sparkle?
personally, her becoming a fool seemed odd to me? like. vita's whole thing is freedom, being unchained by Gods and the Divine, so I can't rlly see her following an aeon, like if she really had to elation is the best choice i suppose (bc, and correct me if im wrong, she wants to live an enjoyable fun and have fun freely) but following an aeon at all seemed odd to me. esp bc she's friends (? you never know with vita i suppose, but they seemed pretty close) with sparkle. afaik of hsr, masked fools are a spectrum. some fools find elation and joy in helping others and some find violence for shits and giggles entertaining and sparkle is more the latter right? like vita is all about having fun and all, but i never got the sense that she enjoys pointless violence. hell, she even calls the gang's attempts to fight her and kira's (or prometheus', i dont remember) death "boring" in the salt snow city arc. if she was someone who enjoyed violence for the sake of it, she wouldn't be so straight-laced and stoic. and yeah she laughs and smiles in some parts, but she's clearly not enjoying it. even in the cg where she's standing over a dying prometheus her face is completely blank.
anyway yeah, vita joining the masked fools kind of raised a question mark from me. i guess i can both see it but also not? what are your thoughts on it? and also if you disagreed with my reading of vita here please say it, im always curious to hear more about her!
My understanding is less that the Masked Fools enjoy violence specifically, and more that they find everything funny to extremes. Vita doesn't say sure when Sparkle suggests blowing up the Solar System, she just gently goes yeaahh I'll consider it. Sparkle is the extreme here.
See! The thing is the Masked Fools' masks are an invitation to a funny kids club and a power boost, it comes with zero actual obligation. If anything she's just using Aha's blessing for her own plans— and said boost may or may not grant her power according to the Rule of Funny, so that could be really interesting (like, if Aha can just decide to make a worm a near-Aeon being for the funnies, They can also make Vita overpowered because it'll be funny).
Aha also has no desire to actually control people the way Sa did, so her religious trauma isn't triggered the way Leylah does it. They're just here because they think the universe is pointless and that's hilarious; pretty close to Vita's own... positive cynicism?
See this museum entry in Phosphorus for what I mean:
"Always have hope for tomorrow, and always do your best every day." What exactly does "hope" mean? Praying for God's favor? The fabrication of illusory fantasies? Painkillers to numb the pain? In the end, it's just a more honorable form of superstition. Ah… Isn’t it a bit of an overstatement? After all, I still like the word "hope". Just like I like my own name~
So I don't find it that odd. I'm kinda happy she's making friends and finding people she can get along with :D Though I don't think Sparkle is gonna be a good influence on her in the long run... she doesn't really do emotional vulnerability, which Vita's gonna uh, need eventually. I don't think she is fine.
Vita is basically finding solace in laughing at the fourth wall with someone who shares her ironic cynicism towards the pointlessness of it all. Is that healthy or a good thing for everyone else? EHHHHHH
17 notes · View notes
bubblesxo · 9 months ago
Note
i dont know if you will see this but i am a big fan of your g!bruce meets the batfam!!!! I literally have tumblr just for this series (and now that I’ve tried it im beginning to love it ngl) . Annyywaayy ive just read the new chapter and it’s so good!?? Like i am really excited for the next chapter!!!
Oh and I haven’t watched gotham ( im planning too ) but i sometimes mix the twins????? Like your explanations are good dont get me wrong but yk when your reading and you need to check which ones which? Yeah … and like i want to fix that idk how .do i just like memorize the twins personalitys??
also in this au is theres 2 jokers??????? I saw you once mention Jerome(?) being revived or something
ps .im that great at English sorry .
oh wow wow wow thank you so so much!! i'm really glad that you're enjoying my story so much! it really means a lot to me. <33 i think your english is good! but if you need/want me to clarify anything i say here, just let me know and i'll try to rephrase it for you!
okay, so in the Gotham tv show (this has spoilers for all 5 seasons, so read on if you're okay with that) the way that they approached writing the joker was actually really up in the air in the beginning. this is because they didn't have the rights to use the name "joker," and so fox (the company that made the show) planned on making a bunch of smaller characters in the show as a kind of easter egg as people who could be the joker or who resemble him in some way.
this changed when cameron monaghan (the actor for both jerome and jeremiah) guest starred in s1e16 "the blind fortune teller." in it, the character of jerome is introduced as a 17/18 year old boy who travels with the circus with his mother, who is a snake dancer. he is meant to be one of the aforementioned joker-like characters in the show and wasn't actually supposed to be included again after that episode, if i am not mistaken.
however, the viewers LOVED his performance and jerome came back in season two as a member of the maniax, a group of arkham inmates who were broken out of the asylum. i won't go too into detail about the actual plot, but in seasons two, three, and four, jerome shows up in at least a few different episodes with very memorable storylines each time.
it isn't until season four of the show that jeremiah is even revealed at all! jeremiah and jerome are identical twin brothers, however, jeremiah has been in hiding for years under the fake name "xander wilde" in an attempt to escape jerome, who wants to get revenge on him for lying to their mother about what he (jerome) did when they were children. basically, jeremiah lied to their mother (lila, who jerome is revealed to have killed in 1x16) that jerome tried to kill him, causing jeremiah to be sent away and be adopted by rich people and get to go to a well-funded private school where he could live out his best life as a child prodigy (which was jeremiah's end goal to this), whereas jerome was left behind in the circus that they lived at (haly's circus, the same one that dick grayson later was raised in before being adopted by bruce). during this time, jerome was horrifically abused by his mother, his uncle, and his mother's many romantic partners. this eventually caused him to crack, which creates the character we see in the show.
here's an easy way to remember the difference in their personalities:
Tumblr media
in the standard american deck of cards, there are two jokers: one that is black and white and one that is in color. in this analogy, jeremiah is the black and white joker and jerome is the one in color.
this is jerome:
Tumblr media
he's got a *very* boisterous personality. he's outgoing and charismatic and, of course, severely messed up in the head. he *enjoys* the pain he causes people and does it with little to no reservations. he thinks things through less thoroughly than jeremiah but jerome always has a plan and is actually quite smart. i couldn't do him the disservice of calling him the dumb twin, despite some points about jeremiah that i'll get back to later.
anyway, jerome has a grand plan for all of gotham: he believes that, fundamentally, everyone in the world is like him and is also at least a bit crazy inside. he wants everyone to tap into their inner selves and let themselves run free / go crazy. he successfully ensnares huge hoards of gothamites with his persuasive way of speaking and interesting flare to his words. he amasses a large cult following, all of whom are very similar to him in the sense that they all demonstrate similar signs of instability.
here's some more gifs of him.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
jerome kind of invented the iconic "HAHAHA" signature joker laugh in the gotham universe, even though he isn't the one who goes on to become "mr. j" (gotham's version of the joker) in the end (that's jeremiah, though i have a lot to say about that).
jerome's always smiling, a genuinely creepy smile that throws people off at first but can be really scary once you know what you're looking at. he single handedly turns gotham into a madhouse on multiple occasions and is the one who basically spread the "crazy" to the general population (for short: genpop).
he's a classic cult leader in the sense that he can mesmerize a whole room with his magnetic presence but also will ruthlessly cut down any of his followers if they so much as upset him (or even if they're just being annoying or could have a greater purpose, like when he stabbed a follower in the gut to take their blood to draw a frowney-face on bruce).
Tumblr media
that reminds me, another important thing to know about jerome is that he has an iconic stapled-on face! this is because he died once (in season two, though he came back to life for season three onwards) and one of his followers tried to revive him using some insider medical knowledge from doctor hugo strange (who is just... a whole thing. ew.). he thinks that he failed at doing this and steals jerome's face so that he can wear it on television in an attempt to control jerome's followers (spoiler: this doesn't work).
however, it turns out that jerome *was* revived from this, and he's pretty upset that some dude stole his face! so he uses a staple gun to re-attach it after he gets it back (and kills the guy who did it). his face is later punched off by jim gordon but reattached more properly during his time at arkham afterward (the carnival scene happened in season 3 and jerome came back with a kind-of healed face in season 4).
here's some gifs with jerome's messed up face!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
jerome is the colorful joker because he's very much expressive. he lets out every single emotion he feels---unless he's trying to deceive someone, at which point he is a phenomenal liar. (in season 1 when we are first introduced to him, he almost successfully gets away with the murder of his own mother.)
jerome is funny and laughs a lot and is *loud.* he's also absolutely insane and incredibly cruel, as well as impulsive, but he's able to curb his instincts if he feels like he can pull off a big plan.
jerome is a showman by nature. he's a product of the circus and it *shows.* everything he does is like an act, something that is acknowledged by many people in the show.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
he's a funky lil dude. totally crazy, but kind of adorable at times.
he's also SEVERELY traumatized from his horrible past and has huge trust issues.
so, yeah. jerome is colors! remember that.
unfortunately, pookie died in season 4 and doesn't seem to have been revived this time </3
Tumblr media
now, onto his twin brother jeremiah!
Tumblr media
jeremiah is, at least at first, presented to be the complete opposite of jerome. he's calm, collected, and seemingly sane---at least at first. bruce trusts him at first and he even befriends him for a period of time before jeremiah betrays him.
jeremiah is a genius engineer, and, when looking into his past, we can assume that he was a child prodigy. he worked with thomas wayne before he died and designed the wayne plaza building under the aforementioned alias "xander wilde." he also locked himself in an underground maze for ~6 years (i believe?) and never went outside, instead sending his proxy (ecco) out to act in his place during business transactions.
as seen here, jeremiah seems to be the complete opposite of showboat jerome:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
when we first meet jeremiah, we are told that he is totally sane, but we can later see that this is not the complete truth.
i'll use jeremiah's project as a metaphor for this. jeremiah was building a set of generators which could make energy harvesting and usage much less expensive and much more bio-friendly (if i remember correctly). bruce promised to fund his project and jeremiah accepts his offer quickly.
after jerome dies in season 4 after kidnapping bruce and jeremiah, he left behind a concoction of chemicals that seemingly make jeremiah go insane. this is a play on joker toxin / joker venom from the greater dc universe.
however, after jeremiah reveals his new self
Tumblr media
he says that the spray did not actually change who he actually is, but just gave him an altered appearance. there are a lot of fan theories about this, but the general consensus is that the spray likely lowered his inhibitions, which gave him the kick needed to reveal his true self.
even his complexion resembles the joker he corresponds with: black and white. he is the black and white joker because he isn't as expressive, is way more calculated, and is more cruel and less happy. even his skin is paper white.
here's some gifs of what he looks like after those "slight cosmetic changes" :
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
that looks a lot more like the joker we know and love today, right? bleach-pale skin, red painted lips, green hair. he's instantly recognizable as the stereotypical joker now.
remember when i mentioned the generators? let's go back to them. the entire time that the generators have been around, they've also been perfectly functional as powerful bombs. their ability to be used as bombs does not undermine the fact that they can also be used as generators, and both of these things were true at the same time *for the entire time they have existed.*
it is in this way that jeremiah's paradoxical nature has always existed. jeremiah is crafty, cunning, and absolutely vicious. he has no care or concern for human life in general and will sacrifice most people in his life if it means that he will get what he wants in the end.
this is shown both before and after the joker toxin in how he lied about jerome when they were children (which caused jerome to be heavily abused) and in how jeremiah willingly killed one of his most devoted and beloved followers, who was being ransomed, just because someone put him on hold and it was personally easier for him to just kill him than sit on hold on the phone for a while. (he also has a vicious streak, though, because he immediately moved the demolition of the bombs up to immediately once he was out of the blast zone because those people inconvenienced him.)
something that's important to realize about jeremiah is that he has an issue with being called crazy. jerome does, too, but he eventually comes to accept the term, almost like he's reclaiming it, but jeremiah is *violently* against it. that's one of the things that set him off in the previously mentioned interaction.
both jeremiah and jerome are obsessed with bruce, though in different ways. jeremiah sees bruce first as his best friend and later as the "brother [he] could never have, that jerome could never be." jerome just sees bruce as a particularly entertaining and interesting kid who he enjoyed tormenting who he would eventually kill.
anyway, despite jeremiah being crazy (or, depending on who you ask, just less inhibited) he is still crazy smart and calculating. he thinks through everything before he does it and his master plans seem like they go on forever with 10000 parts to them and backups and contingencies galore.
the only time that jeremiah ever really seems to break out of this is when he's fighting with bruce. while he still does have a greater point to make or something he's trying to accomplish, he thinks through things less with him and shows his impulsive and rash side a bit more, which is interesting because jerome showed his thoughtful and contemplative side when faced with the obstacle that is bruce thomas wayne. i love parallels and contrasts, especially in these two characters! i just love writing about twins, they're always so interesting.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
some important things about their relationship to one another:
even though jerome kidnapped jeremiah and seemingly strapped a bomb to his neck (after breaking into his house and telling him that he would kill him), jerome doesn't seem to actually want jeremiah to die. instead, as we later find out, he wants jeremiah to unleash his true self and carry on his legacy of chaos and cruelty in gotham for him after his death. this is why he left behind the laughing gas for him.
(the fact that jerome thought to do all of that shows that he really was a smart character and that he truly did understand the world around him well. he knew exactly what would happen in the event of his death, i.e. bruce offering to fund jeremiah's work and jeremiah accepting, as is shown when jerome has the joker venom in a present box which claims to be sent from wayne enterprises.)
jeremiah *hates* to be compared to jerome in any way, as he thinks of himself as "the face of true sanity." he actually has an entire notebook full of jerome's ideas, which he says he will outdo and perfect, thus defeating his brother in the end, which i don't know if i agree with, but whatever.
i think that it's because of the reputation that jerome got at the circus. jeremiah wanted people to think of him as better than jerome and as the perfect child, which he succeeded at. to him, jerome is synonymous with crazy, which i've already mentioned that he hates to be called.
okay, just one more part to talk about. the infamous, much anticipated Mr. J!!!
Tumblr media
in the series finale, it is revealed that jeremiah, after falling into a vat of acid, is horribly disfigured and pretends to be in a vegetative state for the whole ten years that bruce is on his quest to improve himself before becoming batman. he does this as a way of waiting for bruce to come back to gotham so he can continue to be obsessed with him.
Tumblr media
however, though this is jeremiah, it seems that he has actually gone through immense mental trauma sometime during this time (perhaps during his fall into a vat of chemicals), which has caused him to sort of lose his sense of self. he once says that there was "another me" [another him] once, which is, of course, referring to jerome. this implies that jeremiah sees jerome as an extension of himself, almost, and almost makes it seem as if mr. j is a whole different entity of his own.
hopefully this clears everything up a bit for you!! let me know if you have any questions or want to know anything specific about the characters and i will be glad to oblige!
thank you once again for being so kind as to leave this ask!! it really made my day. thank you for enjoying my fic, i hope it continues to live up to expectations. i have a lot of fun things planned (and i am very happy that you decided to look into these characters more, because they are actually extremely important to the plot as we get more into the actual story!). <33
51 notes · View notes
playingdxngerous · 1 year ago
Text
fresh start
18+ minors dni
Tumblr media
Warnings: cheating*, eventual smut, swearing, SLOW BURN, p in v, slight angst, arguing, Jake is very cocky, jealousy, pet names, oral f! and m! receiving, fingering f! receiving, masturbation, fluff at the end
Word Count: 4151
* I do not condone cheating, and I think it is an awful thing to experience or do to someone. Please do not cheat on people. This is just a fanfic :)
also i did not proof read absolutely any of this so if you see a mistake then ummm no you dont!
Your two month anniversary is today, or was today, in this case. Just when you thought things were getting better in your new relationship, it all started going downhill. Never in your life did you think you'd get broken up with on your anniversary. So much time wasted. It's for the stupidest reason too. Your (now ex) boyfriend James claimed over a phone call that he has been slowly losing feelings for a week or two and needs time away. Everyone knows what that means. There's another girl. Someone better, prettier.
"Fuck you!" You yell over the phone in your parked car. "You'll never be as happy as you were with me and you fucking know that, James. You know that." You hang up the phone before he can respond, tears streaming down your face. You look down at the outfit you had put on before driving over to his house. A red satin dress with lingerie underneath. You'd been planning the night out together for a few days now. He was going to take you to a movie, out to eat, and eventually back to his house before the two of you exchange gifts. he never even got to see you in your new dress. The asshole broke it off with you just before you reached his neighborhood.
You turn on music to distract yourself, yet nothing works. Guess I'll just get fucking blackout drunk tonight, you think to yourself. You quickly back out of the random parking lot you were settled in and speed to the nearest bar.
Pulling into a parking space you wipe off your tears and reapply mascara. You put on red lipstick and step out of the car, no cares for what happens to you tonight.
The bar is familiar, since this is where Jake used to take you. Jake. As if your day weren't bad enough, memories of your old relationship flutter through your head. Playing guitar, hooking up backstage, secret dinner dates where you both tried to avoid fans seeing you together. You were in love, more than you could ever be. More than you thought he would ever be. You were clearly wrong, as one day touring apparently "became too much" on him and was the reason for the breakup. About a month later the tour ended, and he found a new girl named Elena. This is when you decided to force yourself to move on and meet James. Your savior, you thought. He strongly resembled Jake. Maybe that's why you fell so hard for him too. Long hair, raspy voice, played guitar. Even his name is close to Jake's. A complete carbon copy of him. Enough with the exes, you think as you open the door to the bar with a deep breath. Tonight you can forget both of them even existed.
You walk to the barista and order a drink, asking for anything strong. She's middle aged, tattoos lining her arms and neck. She has that rare beauty to her, the beauty you'd find with a trashy addict husband. The beauty you'd find riding a motorcycle late at night. She brings you a surprise drink, winking at you before saying this will definitely get you some guys on your finger tonight. Little does she know that you secretly wish you never met any guy in your life anymore. You down the drink in one sip, the taste burning your throat. Just as you begin to ask for another shot of something, a spine-chilling voice interrupts you.
"Hey pretty lady," Jake Kiszka directs to the barista. "I'd like whatever this girl just got," he says pointing his thumb to you.
"Just one? Don't want to offer her one?" She smiles at you.
"No thank you." You quickly respond to her. "I should probably get going."
"I've got a date over here somewhere; I can't be buying random girls drinks. Don't know where the hell mine is though." Jake says. "Don't know if I give a shit either..." He mumbles under his breath.
"Be respectful for once you prick." You say directly to him, not expecting it to actually come out of your mouth.
"Oh yeah?" He downs the shot with no face. "What will you do about it? Start making out with someone who looks just like me? I've seen him before y'know. You could've gone for someone slightly different than me. Guess you were just so crazy for me you couldn't stand a simple break while I was on tour." He shrugs his shoulders. Anger rises in your stomach as he lies straight to your face. The worst part is that he's not even drunk. You've seen him tipsy, and you know for a fact he is complete sober right now. These are sober words hitting you directly in the heart. Being broken up with was enough, but this just makes it way worse. It takes everything in you to not punch his cheek and leave a mark for his precious little Elena to kiss.
"Go back to your fucking girlfriend." You grunt through your teeth. Your hands unclench to reveal little marks from your red painted fingernails. "And it wasn't a break. Don't ever say that again. You broke up with me to fuck her a month later. You lost feelings, not me. I would've stayed. I did stay. I stayed until your player ass found her. I hope she's happy with you."
"She is." He says and walks away into the crowd. You see Elena grab him around the neck with a confused face. He shakes his head and smiles, leaning in for a kiss. He widens his eyes as they practically make out, staring right at you.
"You wanna dance?" A random guy grabs your hand and scoots up to you. You turn to Jake, who is still intently staring. However, his face now portrays anger and jealousy rather than pettiness.
"Sure, why not?" You smile widely and wink in Jake's direction. A song you've never heard plays out of the large speakers spread across the room and you struggle to stay up to tempo with your new date. You wait impatiently for the song to end, excusing yourself when it finally does.
You walk around aimlessly, trying to find the bathroom. As you take a turn down a hallway to find it, Jake is leaned against the wall as if he were waiting for you.
"Can you leave me alone for five minutes and just let me breathe?" You almost yell.
"I don't think James would like to know you're out here drunk and dancing with random men. Dressed like a slut and all."
"I don't care what he thinks anymore."
"Oh, so I should text him on Instagram and tell him?"
"I don't think Elena would like you sneaking off to talk to your ex by the bathroom either." You say, putting extra emphasis on her name.
"I'm sure she's doing the same. The bitch just let some dude buy her a drink. I wouldn't be surprised if she's already in his car by now. Wouldn't be the first time. I haven't even seen her since you saw me kiss her."
"And you don't care at all?" You ask, genuinely confused. If James ever did that to you would lose your mind.
"You think I care about her? She's with me for the sex. I'm a fucking rockstar, what do you expect. You really think I love her like I did you?"
"Jake why would you bring that up?" You say almost sadly.
"You never answered my question so why should I answer yours." He claims.
"Okay fine, what was the stupid question."
"Does your copy and paste boyfriend not give a shit that you're out here with other men?" His eyebrows raise.
"He broke up with me."
"What?"
"He fucking broke up with me! Is that what you so desperately want to hear?"
"Why did he- Why would he..." He trails off in confusion.
"Why don't you ask yourself that Jake. Seems like you two have something in common." Tears start to pool in your eyes, so you turn your heel to start walking away. Jake's warm hand grabs your hip, pulling you in to a hug. You can't help but stay there for a second. Thankfully, reality begins to kick back in and you push him away.
"Go find Elena. Take her home. Give her a fucking night to enjoy because God knows I won't enjoy the rest of tonight. Give her everything you ever wanted to give me, everything you did give me. Give her your love. And don't ever hug me again unless you mean it. I'm tired of people holding me in and breaking my goddamn heart." You utter.
"Am I not making it oblivious enough?" He laughs.
"Jake what are you on about now?"
"I don't want her sweetheart." He moves closer to you, making you tilt your head to now keep eye contact. Your heart sinks at the pet name.
"You don't mean it." You whisper.
"Do I need to prove it to you that I mean it?" He smirks.
"I'm not going to let you cheat on her." You croak. He turns you around to face the crowded room behind you, his hands resting gently on your hips once more. You scan the room and immediately find Elena on the lap of some guy at the bar, kissing him harder than she was with Jake moments ago.
"Oh my god Jake I'm so sorry she's doing that to you." You feel genuinely bad for him, as you know it must be hard to witness that.
"Like I said darling, not the first time. So, are we going to get going or what?" Your head and heart pull to opposite sides of your answer. As much as you want to say no, it's so hard to decline an offer like this. You and James' relationship is already in shred, and you've almost completely forgotten about it because of Jake. It's so easy to just say 'yes'...
"Jake we can't. It's not right." You finally respond. Slight regret fills your head.
"What about it isn't right? Neither of us are in a loving relationship at the moment. Mine is falling apart hour by hour and you don't even have one at all. I think you're just scared you'll enjoy it too much. You miss me too badly. You miss the way I feel in your pretty pussy. The way I taste. The sounds of our moans together." His voice gets quieter as his sentences go on, stepping closer and closer until your chests are touching.
"Fuck me, Jake." You whisper.
"Is that a yes? You know I won't ever force you." He pulls away a little, making the wind blow cold between you.
You scoot back to him and grabs his neck. "Yes Jake. I want you so badly." He smiles and kisses you slowly. The shape of his lips brings back memories of your relationship. The same lips you'd kiss for hours at a time, so often. He must sense it too, as each second he kisses hungrier and faster. The capricious night runs through your thoughts. How over an hour ago you were crying on the phone with James, and now you are making out with your ex as his girlfriend finds someone else to toy with right behind you, no care in the world.
He slides his tongue against your bottom lip, starving to taste you. The sweetness of his spit mixes with yours and you try to forget that Elena had just tasted the same thing recently. He seems to notice your overthinking tendencies and pushes you against the nearest wall, placing his thigh between your legs to distract you.
"We're in public," you laugh as you pull away from his swollen lips.
"Let's go then," he smirks. He walks quickly through the crowd, flipping off Elena as he walks past her. You grab hold his hand and smile, staring straight at her as she goes back into her kissing session. You make it outside, the chilly air giving you goosebumps. Jake gives opens the door for you, giving you a blue jean jacket from his backseat. You put it on, his scent overwhelming you.
"And you're absolutely sure you-" He begins before you interrupt him with a short peck on the lips.
"Yes Jake." He nods and puts the car in reverse, grabbing your thigh once you make it on the main road.
"My house?" He asks. You nod, not wanting to go into your room and allow him to see the hanging polaroids and framed picture of you and James. He squeezes your thigh in response. The drive ends shortly, and you notice that his hand is way further up than it started.
He gets out of the car and opens the door, guiding you through the familiar house to his bed. You sit on the edge and he leans down in front of you, taking off your red heels.
"Oh what a gentleman," you tease as you crawl back against the headboard, letting him hold himself up on top of you.
"Mhm," he moans, leaning in for a desperate kiss. "I've missed your lips," he says while pulling away. Your heart sinks at his claim, yet you know it's way too soon into your breakup to catch feelings for your ex once more. Guilt takes over you. Two months isn't that long, right?
"Why Jake? You've had Elena for a while now. Why do you miss me?" You ask.
"I don't know how I can make it clearer that I never liked her like I did you. You were and still are so special to me." The sentence drops your heart even more, your butterflies almost making you nauseous. "You probably don't feel the same though, and I guess I understand why." The thought rings in your mind. Did you ever love James more than Jake? James was easier to be around, as he was always less busy. He didn't have such high expectations on him. Maybe that's why you loved him so much. He was the part of Jake you wanted to be around. He didn't have a huge job where he was never home. He wasn't touring the country. He was actually able to show you affection. And the biggest part, he looked very similar to Jake...
"You don't know that," you finally manage to speak.
"You liked me more than James? After what I did?
"Jake...: You whisper, grabbing his arms. "I was absolutely in love with you. We were together for so long. It's difficult to compare that to a two month relationship." Jake smiles in pride and kisses you passionately. His tongue glides across yours, making you forget the whole conversation about James. Tonight was a night to forget about him, and that's what you're going to do. "Make me forget about him," you say out loud without even realizing. His eyes spark, starstruck by your request.
"I'll do anything you want sweetheart." He smirks, covering it by biting his lip. Your face gets hot by the minute as he reaches his hand up and cups your tit. While squeezing, he begins to suck on your neck. A red spot remains as he moves away, which shows that you are his for the night. Remnants of him will stay on your body, giving proof of the sins. You don't care though, in fact, you hope James sees somehow. You want him to know how you feel. You want him to know that you chose Jake over him. Not in a way to make him jealous, but to show him what he missed out on. To show him what he will never have again.
"You're so sexy in this dress," he rasps. Your mind flips to the lingerie you have on under it, originally intended for someone else.
"It would be better if you took it off, in my opinion," you tease.
"Oh yeah?" He raises his eyebrows, slowly pulling on the shoulder straps. "Do you really deserve that special treatment, princess? I shouldn't make you strip it off in front of me?"
"Jake please," you whimper. Tonight will be a long night.
"Use your words," he lifts up your chin with his index finger, looking you in the eyes.
"Fuck me," you moan. He slides the straps down further, and you help him slide the dress down your legs. A pink matching set lines your body, making him noticeably hard through his jeans.
"Dressed up for your little boyfriend huh? Too bad he's missing out on this." He slides his fingers across your clit, the fabric of the lace covering it. "So wet and desperate for me. I hope he's so jealous right now." One more word from Jake and you feel as if your heart might stop. "I need you so bad baby please," you squeeze your legs together in order to relieve some tension. He notices and pushes them apart immediately. "Please Jake."
"I think I'd rather listen to you beg for me all night." He kisses your stomach, trailing down to the top of your panties, gently pulling on them with his teeth. He looks you in the eyes and stops midway. Running his hands up your body, he unclasps your bra. You become tired of waiting and start to rub circles through your panties. He grabs your hand and puts it behind your back, clicking his tongue disapprovingly.
"Be patient, love." He centers his attention back to where he was initially, pulling down the lace bottoms fully. All of a sudden, he glides his tongue flatly across your slit. Electricity shoots through your body. He is doing this simply for you to feel pleasure, not him. You forgot how good this felt, as James only ever cared about if he was going to finish or not.
"Feels so good," you mumble.
"We just started baby," he smirks as he moves his head back. His tongue gains speed with every flick. He sucks on your clit, moans forcing their way out of you at the touch. You grab his brunette locks and watch as he devours your cunt. A quiet moan vibrates off his tongue as you pull his hair.
"I'm so close," you practically yell. He brings his fingers up to his mouth, sliding one into you to get you used to it. He sadly moves his head away and raises up to kiss you as he fucks you with his finger. He slides one more in shortly. "Fuck baby go faster I'm so close." He menacingly slows down and bites your lip as he ends the current kiss. He positions his tongue back over your clit and continues to push his fingers into you, curling at just the right spot.
"Jake!" You shout his name like a prayer as you release your orgasm onto his fingers.
"You did so good princess," he cups your jaw with his hand.
"My turn," you say as you attempt to catch your breath.
"What?"
"Lay down." To your surprise he turns over and actually lays on his back. He used to hate letting you be in control. "Going to fuck you better than that bitch Elena ever did."
"Won't be hard to beat," he laughs. He unzips his jeans and pulls them off, throwing them on the floor nearby. You help him pull his shirt off and run your hands down his chest to take in the moment. You've really missed this, no matter what your mind tries to convince you. You take his dick in your mouth, letting your hands cover the rest of his length. You start to pump with your mouth and get faster as he whimpers underneath you.
"Condom?" You ask. He reaches into his nightstand and rips one open with his teeth. You help him slide it on, then crawl up to straddle his waist. With his help you begin to ride him, butterflies filling your stomach. Whimpers escape from his lips. He grabs your waist with one hand to guide your hips back and forth as you bounce, his other hand squeezing your boob. Another orgasm rises in you.
"I'm going to cum baby keep going," he reassures you as you start to slow down. Tired from all the movement, you pull off and take the condom off, sucking his dick once more. You rub your clit, his face alone almost sending you over the edge. "Fuck," he sighs as he releases into your mouth, watching you swallow him. He looks down and sees you touching yourself. "Desperate for another?" Your face gets hot at his observation.
"What if I am?" You tease. He flips you on you back and immediately starts to fuck you with his fingers. You're taken by surprise, but you love it more than anything. He curls as he slowly pumps them at just the right place and speed.
"C'mon baby finish for me." His words unravel the knot in your stomach, causing you to cum on him once more. "Good girl," he mutters before sucking you off his fingers. He kisses you longingly, then makes a trail of pecks to your neck. "Next time you think of that asshole ex of yours, I want you to remember what that kiss tasted like. What we taste like."
"I'm all yours now Jake."
"I know you are," he replies while walking to his drawer. He pulls out a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old band t-shirt, putting them on in front of you. "Are you staying the night?" The question rings in your head. Why is he asking you? Why do you want to stay the night with your ex? Why did you do any of this?
"If you don't mind," you respond before thinking. He reaches in and grabs you similar clothes to his.
"Of course not. Do you want anything? Water or snacks?"
"Just you," you grin. He turns the light off and climbs into the bed with you once you have put the clothes on. His body lies inches from you, not daring to touch you or else feelings might form again. Uncertainty of your own feelings stream throughout your thoughts. "Jake?"
"Yeah?" He turns over to face you, moonlight barely shimmering down on him from a window.
"Are you going to go back to Elena and act like this never happened?"
"After seeing you so vulnerable tonight I don't think I could ever look into her eyes again. I really missed you." He places his hand on your cheek. His thumb unconsciously moves back and forth.
"Does this make me a bad person?" You ask silently.
"Why would you be a bad person?"
"James," you say shortly.
"He clearly deserves this. I don't to assume anything or hurt you, but he's probably out fucking some girl right now. I don't see why he ever would, you're the best girlfriend anyone could ask for." He speaks from experience.
"It's not just that though."
"What is it then?" He furrows his eyebrows.
"I'm catching feelings for you again. They never completely left to begin with. When we broke up, I found James, yet his only job was the replace the hole you left in me. I wanted you. In the back of my head, I have for the whole two months leading up to today. I never got over you, I never will. I understand if you don't feel the same way, I just needed to tell you sooner rather than later. That being if we ever even talk again after tonight."
"I feel the same way love." The name makes your heart pump faster.
"What does this mean for us?" You worriedly ask.
"I think it means we need to take things slow if we ever want to go back. You just need-" He says before you interrupt.
"So you do want to go back?"
"Is that bad?" He questions
"I want to as well, so I guess it's okay." You smile.
"We can have a fresh start if we just pace it right. Rushing into a relationship the same day you got broken up with probably isn't a good idea. Tomorrow I will make breakfast and let you sleep in. We can act however you want, no label."
"That sounds perfect," you yawn.
"Good," he smiles. You lean and kiss him on the cheek. He pulls you closer, yet leave a gap in between you just in case. You scoot in, wishing to be as close as possible. He hugs you and runs his hands up and down your back. You slide a hand up his shirt, craving his warmth in such a cold room. Eyelids getting heavy, you close your eyes and dream about a fresh start with Jake Kiszka.
86 notes · View notes
if-mirrormine · 2 years ago
Text
two of a feather
summary: grayson discovers that he and the mc are more alike than he originally thought.
pairing: yandere!grayson x yandere!mc
word count: 1332
warnings: mentions and descriptions of blood, violence, death, murder. DO NOT READ THIS IF THESE MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN MEDIA CONSUMPTION.
based on the ask: i know it's been a long time since the last yandere grayson ask but. I miss my man ☹️☹️‼️ so.... could i ask maybe...... yhhh.... yandere grayson reaction to an yandere mc please ? 🙏
**unedited//hey look its jake, remember him? it's okay if you dont, he's not gonna be around long enough for it to matter teehee**
there's something wrong with mc. grayson is certain of it. they're grumpy and quiet, a frown sitting perpetually on their face. he just can't figure out why.
sitting across from them in the library, he's long neglected the assignment before him. he studies their face; the slope of their nose, the crease between their eyebrows, the pout on their lips. an image of perfection that he's got burned into his memory. he just can't stand the stony silence.
"alright," he says, breaking the silence as he pushes his books and stationery to the side to focus on his best friend. he leans across the desk on folded arms and watches them with an intense focus. "tell me what's wrong."
"what are you talking about?" they mumble, barely glancing away from the computer screen in front of them. "everything is fine."
he narrows his eyes at them. "tell that to your face," he replies. he leans down further, his chin resting on his arms as he attempts to meet their eyes. look at me, he demands. please just look at me.
when they still don't say anything, he heaves a sigh. "you can't act all cagey and weird forever," he says, his fingers tapping against the table top. "i'll get you talking eventually."
as if his words magically flipped a switch in them, they suddenly stop typing and turn to face him, a pointedly blank expression on their face and he raises his eyebrows at them. "do you like jake?" they ask, the words tumbling out of their mouth in a such a rush that they immediately begin talking again. "i mean, its not that i- well, after last night i just thought- do you like him?"
and just like that, it finally makes sense to him. his little dove is jealous. he should've seen it sooner, what with their mopey attitude making its appearance just after jake had kissed him. he'd initially assumed that it was just because they were drunk but now it all makes sense. although they don't have any reason to be jealous. as far as first kisses go, it wasn’t all that bad but jake isn't his type. that begins and end with you.
grayson struggles and fails to hide the teasing smile that appears on his face, and the mc's frown deepens at the sight of it. "why do you ask?" he questions, tilting his head at them. "something you want to tell me, mc?"
they chew on their bottom lip and his eyes follow the movement, wishing it was his teeth instead. he lets the silence hang in the air, waiting for their answer with bated breath.
"i just... know he likes you is all," they say softly before resuming their typing.
he leans back in his seat, his arms crossed over his chest and his teasing grin melts into a satisfied smirk. now this is an interesting development. perhaps one he can use to his advantage.
"really?" he asks, keeping his tone light as he picks up a pen to fiddle with. "maybe i should give him a call."
they inhale sharply at that and he quickly raises a hand to hide his smile. just as quickly, they begin to pack up their things, shoving books and stationery and loose papers into their backpack in such a haste that grayson worries they'll forget something. "i'll see at you at home," they say quickly as they jump out their chair, knocking it over in the process.
he watches them all but run out of library before he turns his attention to the computer they'd been using. what had started out as a promising essay had turned into a single word repeated over and over again that has his smile widening. mine.
Tumblr media
it's been hours since he's last heard from the mc. he can't help but worry about them; they're his little dove. it's his job to protect them. so when later comes and they're still not home, what other choice does he have but to go out and find them?
and he knows exactly where to look.
the sun has set by the time he arrives at the fraternity and grayson walks straight up to the front door, letting himself in as if he owns the place. he's only been here once before, a party back in his first year, so it'll take some time to find jake's room but he doesn't mind. he's got nothing but time after all.
his search takes him to the first floor and he finds that it ends just as quickly as it begins. not only are the rooms labelled, elegant golden plaques adorning the wood and stating the purpose of everything laying beyond it, but there's also the distinct sound of glass breaking coming from behind the door at the end of hallway. shoving his hands in pockets, he takes his time walking over to it and smiling at the plaque reading j. sutherland when he comes to a stop in front of it.
truth be told, grayson doesn't know what he'll find inside - from what he can hear, it's something of a fight - but his excitement is building, bubbling just below the surface. what has the mc done? what are they capable of? how far are they willing to go? he's practically buzzing with anticipation.
neither of them even notice when he pushes open the door and steps into the mess that used to be jakes bedroom. he surveys the room in critical silence; a broken lamp in the corner, a toppled over desk chair, mc shoving jake against the wall and pressing a kitchen knife against his neck.
grayson's heart swells at the very sight. his best friend is bruised and bloody, chest heaving and covered in sweat but they're the most beautiful that grayson has ever seen them and he commits the image to memory.
the seconds seem to slow when jake's eyes flick over to him and they widen at the sight of him, his plea for help unsaid but clear as day on his own battered face. but it's already too late.
gray doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything to stop them. he simply watches on in awe and adoration as the mc drags the knife across jake's skin, unflinching as they're hit with a spray of blood. they push the blade in deeper, the man's blood gushing over them like a torrent of rain and grayson has to suppress a groan.
after what feels like an eternity, they take a step back, jakes body hitting the floor the same time as the knife. mc tilts their head back and shuts their eyes for the moment, attempting to catch their breath. finally, they look up to see him standing in the doorway and they freeze in place. a deer caught in headlights.
"it's not what it looks like," they try, their voice desperate as they wipe their bloody hands on their jeans. graysons eyes follow the movement, practically salivating at the sight and he's not even listening to everything else his best friend is saying in their defense.
his feet are moving again, towards them without hesitation, and while they're still desperately trying to explain themself, he sweeps them into his arm and crashes his lips to theirs. fierce. rough. uncaring of the blood smearing across his face, of the taste of copper on his tongue. he simply pulls them closer, tangles his fingers in their hair and shares his last breath of oxygen with the only person he'll ever love.
it's all too soon that they pull away and he immediately wants to kiss them again. he wants to kiss them from now until the end of time. and now he knows that he can.
sparing a glance at the dead body at his feet, he cups their face in his hands and offers them a soft, loving smile. "well," he starts, his voice low and gravelly, as he caresses their face. "looks like my little dove isn't so innocent after all."
126 notes · View notes
fraternum-momentum · 1 year ago
Text
mini update
I think im in a creative burnout rn,, i havent been really satisfied with my art and i feel like my progress has been stagnant. i have no idea on what direction i should take it. do i focus on rendering? should i adhere to a more specific style? should i make it more realistic or should i play with my proportions? do i make the lineart less visible or should i lean more into it? it's all basically a midlife identity crisis of my art or something idk if that makes any sense ajebd
im also just not sure how to overcome a burnout or like how to take a break??? i would always feel uncomfortable and guilty for not doing anything productive like i want to do something but everything i draw is not up to my standards so i trash most of my stuff or just leave it unfinished (well to be fair im very hard on myself, especially these past few days) so i just kinda have no idea what to do??
and another thing is, im not super into dol anymore :[ i mean it was eventually bound to happen, im surprised i even lasted this long lol i might make the occasional fanart here and there if i feel like it (most likely answering an old ask), but that's not the main thing i'll be drawing from now on :c i might post more ocs or more of that puppygirl stuff since ppl seem to like it and i enjoy drawing it too so yea,,
i'm also probably gonna stray further away from like super dark media. i mean dont get me wrong, i still like drawing dead dove stuff and being my degenerate self but i realized that ive been interacting with dark media on a practically daily basis now and its really fucking up my psyche and im probably consuming an unhealthy amount of it (well for me at least, i know people can handle much darker stuff but yeah). like i recognise i like fucked up shit but i dont want it to be normalised to me and accidentally skew my moral compass. (basically im in my metaphorical grass touching era) so ill probably do more sfw stuff here from now on :] which is super funny since the goal of my goretober prompt list was to desensitise myself from like super hardcore stuff but it ended up doing the exact opposite LMAODBQ rip
but thanks for reading all this ! it was pretty lengthy, so i do apologize for that. i hope you have a wonderful day 💛
61 notes · View notes
joohanisms · 9 months ago
Note
idk if you wrote about this before or not but thoughts on taking junhans virginity 😭😭😭
i haven't!!!!!!! tysm for the ask so i have an excuse to <33
(half written before i went ia)
mmm first of all i think hed actively look for someone inexperienced to date while hw himself was inexperienced
less space for disappointment yknow how could hw disappoint you when you kinda just .. dont know better literally
but then he ended up w you <3 who actually does have some experience and its kinda nervewracking for him, he's not gonna lie
he's been putting it off for so long – sure, it only took a couple of dates for you to make out and your hands to wander. the way he tentatively gripped your ass made you want him kind of desperately.
but it never went past that. a while later, when the topic of making things official came up, his cheeks blushed a deep red while he looked down at his feet.
"ah, before we, you know, start dating for real... i thought you should know." and fuck, you think. there it goes. there's the catch. "i'm not too... experienced. actually, i've never had sex before. i don't want you to be disappointed if we get to it and i'm not any go–" his mouth is sealed shut as you kiss him firmly, hands cradling his face.
"you're stupid. i don't care. nothing of what you just said would ever make me lose interest," he wants to avoid your eyes, hide his face, but the way you're holding his flaming cheeks in place won't let him. "at most, it just makes me happy i'll be your first."
and since then, he's been avoiding – more like procrastinating, to be fair – getting sexual with you. the most you've done so far was dry humping each other on his sofa while his apartment was empty (that is, until one of his roommates opened the front door and he jumped out of his skin).
you don't want to push him, so you wait for him to come to you.
(but if anyone asked you whether you were fingering yourself in the shower thinking about him, you wouldn't be able to deny it.)
the next time he got to escape from his dorm and visit you and your blessedly empty tiny apartment, he has you on his lap, the movie playing on your laptop long forgotten.
you didn't notice anything before – he was the same hyeongjun as always – but now you can see how his hands are shaking and how he keeps taking deep breaths seemingly out of nowhere.
you detach your lips from his, studying his face. this makes him more nervous, the poor thing. did he do something wrong? is he this easy to read?
"hyeongjun, are you okay? you look like you're going to pass out." you try to leave the comfortable seat that is his thighs, but his hands shoot up and grab your waist, holding you down.
"hyeongjun. you're shaking. have you eaten? let me grab you a cup of wa–"
"i'm fine."
"really? what did you have for lunch? did you have enough? or did you have too much?" you can't help but worry for him. he's already a skinny guy, but you can't be too careful knowing how much time he spends online.
"i swear i'm fine! i'm just..." he trails off, looking at everything in your room but you. one of his hands leaves your waist to fiddle with a loose thread on your comforter. once again, you wait for him to come to you – he likes that about you, how you leave him to find ways to express himself instead of dragging it out of him. his tone is soft when he eventually finishes, "i'm just nervous, that's all."
you cup his cheek in an act of comfort, looking at him like he's some kind of baby bunny, small and defenseless. he finds he doesn't mind it too much.
"nervous about what, baby? what's on your mind?"
"i was thinking," he finally lets go of your waist to play with his fingers, "maybe it's about time we, uh, you know, fuck."
jesus christ. your tummy does a backflip at his wording.
"you know i don't mind if we don't, right? i'm fine with how things are now." you slide your hand down his neck and shoulder, and some braincell vaguely makes him think that you're not doing anything to help him go against having sex.
"but i want to," his response is eager and he backtracks, "if you want it too, i mean."
your mind is so clouded with the thought of not only having him, but also to have you be his first, that you don't even respond before you're pressing your lips to his again.
" of course i do."
41 notes · View notes