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Devilish Desires 3/9?
Dangerous Temptations, Irresistible Touch đď¸â¤ď¸âđĽđšđ¤đťđąď¸
Sub!Logan Howlett x Dom!OC (They/Them)
Summary: Logan, typically guarded and dominant, finds himself captivated by E, a mysterious being with a devilish allure and ancient presence that challenges his control.
Context: This story unfolds 'within' the "Days of Future Past" new timeline, during Logan's early years as a history teacher at Xavierâs School. Itâs set well before his consciousness from the original timeline reconnects with him in 2023, as seen at the filmâs end.
Content Warnings (for the whole story): Smut 18+ (Dry humping, Edging, Unprotected p in v.) - Dom!Logan into Sub!Logan - Pet Names (Good boy, pretty boy, pet, pup, amongst others...) reversed age gap (Logan is younger) - OC Notes: Established name, backstory, powers, fighting style, female body but gender fluid character (Logan misgender them at first because he doesn't know, even in the descriptions) - Mention of other character from the MCU and subtle references to the comics for flavor (not mandatory to understand what is happening) - Flash back and mention of past trauma - Fluff with Dark Undertones: Emotional tension and possessive affection - Worship Themes: Religious imagery, reverent language and awe - Ancient Mysticism: References to otherworldly or demonic presence - Mental Health: Power dynamics, personal vulnerabilities - Trope: Rivals to lovers. I'm back after 10 years of iatus and fairly new to how things are done on tumblr now, so sorry if I missed any warnings. Also english isn't my first language so there might be typos/weird sentences...
Notes: Got very inspired by sub!Logan and repeated listening of "Between wind and water" by Hael. Cover made with canva from an idea I got from this post. If you know who made the picture, tell me so I can credit them - Click on the divider to find the creator. Also this was meant to be an imagine turned into a full story. Just so you know, some chapters are very short, other are long. I'm in the process of editing/writing/rewriting parts so I'll post a chapter everytime I have one fully edited. This chapter was hard to wrestle with, but I won! Mention of legal stuff but I'm no lawyer so there might be inconsistencies ^^" Also brace yourself, power shift incoming.
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Previously: in Devilish Desires
Chapters: 3/9?
Word Count: 7.1K / 43K+ for now
Sunlight filtered through the wide windows of Charles' office, casting a warm glow over the mahogany desk and polished floors. Logan paused in the doorway, feeling the familiar tension coil through him even before he fully entered. His gut twisted as he took in the sight of E leaning casually against the desk, one hip propped up, her head already turned toward the door, watching him approach. The calm, focused look on her face set him on edge, like she was always one step ahead, pulling unseen strings. Every time he saw her, it felt like she dug her claws deeper into his space, into him, without even trying.
"Logan, come in." The professorâs voice was warm, though there was a hint of tiredness to it. "We were just finishing up. Have a seat."
Logan ignored the invitation, his arms crossing over his chest as his eyes locked on E. âWhatâs this about?â
Charles gestured to the papers on his desk. "As you know, the school is growing, and with that comes more scrutiny from the government." He glanced at E, then back to Logan. "Thatâs why we worked on some contractsâto make everything as official and seamless as possible. We want things above board, so no one has any reason to be suspicious of us."
Loganâs pulse quickened as Charles spoke, each word digging into a place heâd thought had scarred over but never truly healed. He could feel the weight of the documents between them, a weight pressing down on his chest, squeezing until he couldnât breathe. Just the mention of those papers, the mere sight of them, was like a trigger pulledâsnapping him back to shadows heâd fought to bury. Contracts meant control; control meant deceit. Old instincts roared awake, instincts that told him to fight, to claw his way free. His mind twisted back, unbidden, to the sharp crack of a pen against paper, his name signed under false pretenses. Faces flashed before him, cold and detached, each one using him as if he were nothing more than sharpened adamantium, each one an anchor dragging him back to glimpses of a past he desperately tried to escape, yet crave to piece back together at the same time.
Memories slammed togetherâsoldiers' cries, the dead weight of bodies, his own silent rage coiled like barbed wire around his gut. Promises broken, betrayals⌠He could barely register the room around him, the walls that meant safety and acceptance. All he felt now was the past closing in, like a cageârestrictive, suffocating. And then a single thought broke through, a rough mantra, ringing into his head, so loud it pulled him from the spiral: âToday is victory over yourself of yesterdayâŚâ
Logan blinked hard, shaking his head as he forced himself back to his senses, the slow ache of his claws tearing through his knuckles breaking through the fog. With gritted teeth, he pulled them back before they became visible. After a short sigh, his eyes flicked from the papers to E, then to Charles, his scowl deepening. âThis is bullshit. Iâm not some soldier you can pin down with paperwork, Chuck.â His voice was low, the ghost of past betrayals still burning in his chest as his hand clenched tightly at his side. âI donât belong to anyone, and I sure as hell donât need to be tied up in a contract like this. Iâve been here long enough, and Iâm not about to start following rules that donât make sense to me.â
Charles clasped his hands together on his desk, his voice soft but firm, trying to ease the distress he saw in his friendâs behavior. âLogan, youâre right,â he validated, calm yet earnest. âYouâre no soldier hereâyouâre a mentor, and youâve proven that. But this contract is necessary. You know the risks; despite Ravenâs actions, the government is still watching mutants closely after all these years. These contracts are for the teachersâ protection, for the students, and for the school itself.â
His expression was calm, deliberate, like he was teaching a class. Logan could see the weight of responsibility on Charles's shoulders, a reminder of the burdens they all carried. âItâs a formality to ensure youâre recognized as part of the staff. If they start asking questions, this contract might be our best defense.â
He held Loganâs gaze, the tension building in the air between them. In a quieter tone, he added, âThis isnât about control; itâs about security. If something were to happen, this paperwork could mean the difference between staying under the radar and drawing unwanted attention.â Logan felt a flicker of unease at the thought but pushed it aside, his feral pride refusing to let him show any weakness in front of E.
He shook his head, the tension in his shoulders thickening with each word. âA formality? Security? Itâs a damn leash, thatâs what it is! And I know sheâs behind this.â His tone was sharp, the accusation clear as his chin jerked toward E, his eyes still on Charles.
E raised a brow, a slight smirk dancing at the corner of their lips. âThey,â they corrected smoothly, their voice slipping in like silk over a blade.
Loganâs eyes snapped to her face, his brows knitting in confusion, anger swirling in his glare. âWhat?â
âYou said âshe,ââ E explained, their tone lilting with amusement, not even flinching under the weight of his gaze. âI prefer âthey.ââ
For a second, Logan blinked, caught off guard. The shift in their demeanorâso detached, almost playfulâdisarmed him. It was a rare response to his fury, and it chipped away at the anger bubbling in his chest. He gave a quick, gruff nod, like a student getting a slap on the wrist for falling into a masterâs trap. âRight. They.â
His lips pressed into a firm line, the weight of the situation settling like a stone in his gut. Yet, that primal part of him refused to fold so easily. âBut that ainât the point. The point is, Iâm not signing a damn thing before Iâve read it. Iâm not some teacher that punches a clock. You know me, Charles.â
Charles nodded, like he expected this. âI do, my friend. And I donât want to force you into anything youâre uncomfortable with. But itâs necessary. If youâre going to keep mentoring, you need to be recognized officially as part of the schoolâs staff.â
Loganâs jaw clenched as his gaze flicked from the papers back to E, who hadnât taken their eyes off him. His fingers twitched, itching to pull at the collar of his shirt, the weight of the contract already tightening around his neck.
A metallic muffled sound came from under Eâs jacketâs sleeve as they shifted, leaning into their stance with one hand on Charlesâ desk, the other resting on their waist and Loganâs eyes were drawn, almost against his will, to the subtle curve of their chest beneath the deep red blouse. The top few buttons were undone, revealing just a hint of cleavage, a thin golden chain that held a delicate white pearl, resting against their skin. For a second, his thoughts strayed before he forced his gaze back up, catching the faint hint of their dark horns just peeking from under their hairâa sharp reminder of exactly who he was dealing with.
âItâs just official paperwork, Logan,â they said, voice smooth with a playful lilt, enjoying the ripple of energy they felt from him as his thoughts wandered, though their expression stayed composed. âI can help you with the legal mumbo jumbo if youâre having trouble. Iâd be happy to give you a private lesson⌠walk you through all the fine print, personally.â
Loganâs cheeks flushed, just for a second, barely noticeable beneath his hardened exterior, but it was there. E could feel the familiar tingle coming from him, that want simmering beneath his anger. His jaw tightened, fists clenching at his sides, and he shot them a glare, willing the heat away as if itâd been nothing. âI ainât havinâ trouble with anything,â he growled, his voice low and rough. But E simply watched him with an amused, knowing glint in their eye, a faint laugh catching under their breath.
Charles, observing the exchange, raised an eyebrow, eyes twinkling with the slightest bit of humor. Clearing his throat gently, he spoke up in to ease the rising tension. âE, letâs not push too hard. Loganâs cautious, but we need to find a compromise. And Logan, Iâm afraid that until we reach an agreement that satisfies both sides, Iâll have to ask you to step down from your teaching position. I canât risk the schoolâs safety.â
The words hit like a punch to the gut. Logan stiffened, his fists clenching harder, knuckles now white. Stepping down? It felt like an ultimatum, but Charles wasnât wrong. The safety of the school had always come first. Eâs gaze softened just slightly, though he could still see that flicker of amusement in their eyes. âYouâre right, Professor. My apologies.â They turned to Logan, offering a nod. âI got carried awayâit was unprofessional of me. I understand where youâre coming from, and Iâm willing to collaborate with you so we may find a solution that works for both parties.â
As E pulled away into their composed demeanor, he felt the thread coiling in his gut relaxing, leaving him more room to breathe.
Logan wasnât used to them backing down that easily, and it threw him for a second. He shifted, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, his faint scowl deepening as he muttered, âHuh?â It was as if a switch had flipped, and he couldnât help but wonder what their angle was. âOkay?â
And E could have left it there, but something inside urged them to add, a spark of teasing in their gaze, âAfter all, youâre not one to play by anyone elseâs rules. So why not help shape the ones that work for you?â
Logan shot them a sharp look, their words sinking in slowly. He hated how they got under his skin, how easily they seemed to read him. But they werenât wrong, either.
He took a breath, unclenching his hands, though he still felt like a cornered animal. âFine. Weâll work something out. But Iâm not signing anything that tries to box me in, Charles. I need enough room to be me.â
Charlesâs expression softened in relief, giving a small nod of approval. âOf course, my friend. Take your timeâI want you to feel comfortable with this. Weâll reconvene when youâre both ready.â He paused, glancing at the papers, before adding, âIn the meantime, Iâve got other work that requires my attention.â
Logan barely registered the Professor dismissing them, his mind still tangled in the strange feeling of the interaction. E pushed off the desk gracefully, straightening the black jacket of their suit before gathering their things with practiced ease. When they finally stepped out of Charlesâ office, Logan followed them out into the hallway. They walked in silence for a beat, the air between them still buzzing, though less tense than before. Yet, their scent still lingeredâsmoky, with a hint of spiceâreminding him of their presence. And E, in turn, felt the simmering conflict inside himâthe push and pull of resistance and attraction. It wasnât enough to satiate them, but it would have to do for now, even if it left them wanting more. They allowed a brief, satisfied smile to ghost across their lips before tucking it away, resuming a more reserved expression.
âWhen do you want to go over the documents?â Eâs voice was professional once more, all traces of their earlier playfulness gone, though a flicker of something else remained behind their eyes, like they were holding back.
Logan glanced over at them, still surprised by how quickly theyâd shifted gears. This side of themâfocused, efficientâwas easier to handle. He could deal with this.
âTomorrow, maybe. Got some time around three.â
E nodded, a hint of consideration in their gaze despite the reluctance in his tone. âI could make that work. Weâll go over everything, step by step. No surprises.â
The calm confidence they exuded kept catching him off guard, and against his better judgment, he found himself watching them differently. Was there more beneath that troublemaker act they put on around him?
E mustâve felt his gaze because they turned slightly, offering a small, almost sincere smile. âIâll see you then.â Their voice was all business, but a hint of warmth slipped throughâwithout the usual edge of teasing.
Logan grunted in response, but as they walked away, something lingered at the edge of his mind. Yes, there might be more to them than the predatory front theyâd shown since they met. And maybe, just maybe, they werenât as much trouble as he thought.
Or perhaps it was a ploy to lure him in, to make him relax and step willingly into their web. In any case, he wasnât about to let his guard down. Not yet.
The library was quiet in the mid-afternoon light when Logan arrived, the subtle scent of aged paper and polished wood mixing with the now too familiar blend of spice wrapped in smoke. He pushed the door open with a soft creak, eyes immediately scanning the room, and sure enough, there they wereâalready seated at one of the large tables, surrounded by hefty open books, scattered documents, and a legal pad filled with meticulous notes.
E barely glanced up as he approached, their focus sharp on the papers spread out before them. The soft scratching of their pen on the smooth surface filled the air, the fluidity of their movements mesmerizing, almost hypnotic. Every action was deliberate, from the graceful lines they traced to the calm demeanor they carried.
Logan stood there for a moment, taking it all inâthe precision and quiet focus they exuded. He couldnât help but notice the neatness of their work: each point laid out clearly, with little diagrams and annotations. It wasnât just thorough; it was methodical yet beautiful, almost like an art form. Even their handwriting, flowing effortlessly across the pageâa blend of sharp angles and elegant curvesâwas damn near perfect.
He cleared his throat, and E, still writing, held up a finger, brows furrowed in focus. The gentle chime of their braceletsâthree in total, one gold and two redâsounded as they moved, the soft music an elegant counterpoint to the silence. They needed to finish that thought, not wanting to lose their concentration. Logan waited for a few heartbeats, struck by the command in their motion, a powerful yet silent order that stoked the embers they had nestled in his chest during the last couple of weeks. When E finally looked up, their gaze met his with calm professionalism, but there was a flash of something elseâan interest that sharpened their eyes, just for a heartbeat, before it vanished.
"You're early," they noted, their voice soft but steady, carrying just enough weight to catch his attention. "I wasnât expecting you for anotherâŚâ They quickly glanced at the delicate golden watch on their wrist. â⌠half hour, at least." There was a pause, and E gestured toward the chair on the other side of the table. "Please, sit."
Logan obeyed reluctantly, still unsettled by the way they were behavingâcold, detached, like they were someone else entirely. The tension between them had loosened so much he could hardly feel it, as if it might vanish entirely if he tried to reach for it. âFigured Iâd get this over with,â he mumbled, his eyes not leaving their face.
A small smile played at the corner of their lips, and they flipped one of the hefty books closed to make room between them, before pushing a section of the contract toward him. "Well, Iâve already gone through most of the legal terms and highlighted the parts you might find concerning. If something still doesnât sit right with you, we can discuss⌠adjustments."
Logan raised an eyebrow. âYouâve been busy.â
âI donât like wasting time on work.â Their eyes flicked to the stack of notes they had assembled, before neatly setting them aside. âLetâs just get through this.â
Logan picked up the contract, flipping through the pages slowly. The neat little annotations caught his eyeâsmall, concise memorandums in that same precise handwriting on flashy sticky notes, guiding him through each clause. As much as he hated to admit it, the thoroughness was impressive. âYou really did all this?â
E leaned back slightly in their chair, crossing their arms, a faint smile playing at the corners of their lips, like they were enjoying something only they understood, and he felt a subtle pull inside, a tension stirring. âI told you Iâd help you with the legal stuff, didnât I?â
Loganâs eyes drifted to the pages again, unable to ignore how⌠perfect their handwriting was. Every sentence was clear, fluid, each letter delicate, intentional. They hadnât just scrawled down information in a rushânot only theyâd taken the time to make it legible, but it also felt like they had crafted something meant to be appreciated, drawn with careful control, patience, like each and every stroke mattered.
âYou write like a damn artist,â he muttered despite himself, half impressed, half irked by the precision of it all.
Eâs soft chuckle was barely audible, but he caught the faintest hint of satisfaction in their expression as they watched him linger on the page. They were absorbing his reaction, almost savoring it, letting his admiration wash over them like a silent, steady current. âYears of practice,â they replied, eyes glinting with a subtle satisfaction. âDidnât expect you to notice details like that.â
He grunted in response, still staring at the page before flipping to another section. âI donât miss much.â
E leaned forward again, the light jingle of their bracelets accompanying the movement as they tapped a finger on one of the highlighted paragraphs. âThis part, in particular, is important. Itâs a non-disclosure clause. You might want to pay special attention to that.â
Logan followed the motion of their finger, noting the cleanly filed nail that glimmered faintly under the lightâmaybe some sort of transparent polish? Even that was meticulously done, and the thought made something simmer in him before he blinked it away, refocusing on the contract. âSo I canât say anything about⌠what, exactly?â
âAbout the students. The curriculum. The specific ways the school operates,â they clarified, their tone even and clear, leaving no room for confusion, even as a subtle ripple passed between them. âItâs a precaution to ensure no one leaks sensitive information.â
Logan scowled, the idea gnawing at him. âI get why, but it feels like a muzzle.â
Eâs gaze softened slightly as they leaned back again, folding their hands neatly on the table in front of them. The metallic sound of their bracelets chimed softly, a delicate accent to the motion. âIt can feel that way, yes, but itâs standard for any organization handling confidential matters, especially one like this school. It's about protecting everyone hereâespecially you and the kids. Though, we can amend the wording if thatâll make you more⌠comfortable.â
Logan studied their face, taking in the sincerity behind their words. For once, it didnât feel like they were toying with him or trying to play some angle. They were just doing their jobâand a damn good one at that.
He exhaled sharply, leaning back in his chair. âI donât like beinâ locked into something I donât trust.â
Eâs eyes softened as they nodded slowly, their expression understanding. âThatâs fair. We can tweak the language so itâs more gray, more aligned with what youâre comfortable with. To give you room to adjust? You donât have to feel trapped, Logan.â
Loganâs hand rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed. âYouâre makinâ it real hard for me to argue, you know that?â
Their smile was faint, their fingers gently drumming on the wooden desk between them. âIâm not trying to make it harder. Just easier for you to see that this isnât about control. Itâs about protecting what youâre building here.â
Logan dropped his eyes to the contract again, that tight, familiar knot in his chest loosening just a bit. He didnât trust easyâbut they were making a damn good case. He couldnât deny that. He could see how carefully theyâd worked through the details, the amount of care theyâd put into making this whole thing understandable. It was⌠reassuring, in a way. As much as he hated to admit it, they had a point. It wasnât about locking him into anythingâit was about making sure everything stayed secure. The kids came first, always.
He met their gaze again, something shifting between them. He still wasnât ready to trust completely, but at least they were giving him a reason to reconsider. âAlright,â he muttered, almost grudgingly. âLetâs go through it.â
E smiledâthis time, it was genuine. Not playful, not teasing, just⌠genuine, content. They slid a few more papers toward him, their focus back on the work, but Logan couldnât help but notice the shift in their energy. As they started explaining the finer points, guiding him through each legal term with that same sharp professionalism, he couldnât help but admire the way they handled things. They were focused, sharp, and professional.
Maybe this was the side of them he could start to respect.
For now.
Theyâd been at it for hours, bending and reshaping the terms until each clause balanced protection with freedom. E kept their demeanor professional, drawing on every ounce of restraint to keep their voice even and their gaze measured, ignoring the familiar hunger snapping at their focus now and then. And the more they worked, the more they could sense Logan beginning to relax, perhaps appreciating this side of themâthis businesslike efficiency that gave him room to breathe, rather than the tension they used to stir in him. He was still sharp and guarded around them, but in the subtle shifts of his body language, they sensed they were both easing into a more comfortable exchange, his trust inching closer as they tweaked the terms to help him maintain his independence.
In his careful consideration of each clause, they saw how deeply he valued his autonomy. His desire to protect the kids and guide them through a brutal world was unmistakable, yet he seemed determined to do it on his own terms. Watching him was like seeing a reflection of their own drive: the same visceral need to resist being anyoneâs pawn, to forge a path where people like them werenât turned into weapons or tools for the powerful. E knew what it was to navigate that treacherous line, to have allies rather than be a pawn, to be indispensable but never owned. Becoming a lawyer had finally allowed them to create partnerships, to protect their independence in a way they hadnât had in the past.
They looked at Logan now, the way he was part of something great without letting it absorb him, and felt a twinge of resonance. It was like looking into a rippling, distorted mirror: his methods protective where theirs were persuasive, his presence blunt where theirs was all charm and deliberate control. But that difference made sense, considering their mutations. He had claws; they hadâŚthis. This carefully wielded hold over emotions. Had they been born with claws, would they have protected instead of manipulated? They werenât sure.
Their gaze drifted from the paper to his handsome face as they sank into those thoughts, the realization dawningâslow and unexpectedâthat he wasnât simply a source of energy, or the toy theyâd wanted him to be at first. He was a potential ally in a way few others could be. Someone who might amplify their strength instead of being drained. Not just a meal to be consumed but something rarerâa piece that, in its own strange way, completed the picture of who they could be. As if they were two sides of the same coin.
Lost in thought, they almost missed the slight cough as Logan cleared his throat, his voice breaking through their haze.
âNeed a break?â he asked, a faint smirk tugging at his lips, catching them just off guard enough that they had to recompose themselves, reassemble that mask over their features before their thoughts slipped any further into the open.
âNo, Iâm good,â they replied, eyes turning back to the papers in front of them. âWeâre almost done, anyway.â But as they looked away, a thought slipped inâa terrifying, persistent thought.
What if, just for a few moments, they let him see behind the surface?
The more they considered it, the more it tugged at them. Curiosity twisted into needâa need to be seen fully, not just for what they could do or the games they played, but for every scarred, layered piece that made them who they were. Logan was unique, after all. He understood the weight of living too many lifetimes, of carrying too many pasts. Maybe he, of all people, could handle the person they kept buried underneath.
They wrestled with the urge, every instinct resisting, their armor honed by years of experience and necessity. Something deep inside warned it was dangerousâunnecessary. But then again⌠maybe not. Because the thought kept tugging, whispering that maybe, just maybe, it could be something greater. A partnership that didnât hinge on pretense or servitude but on something raw and real, something powerful.
Their gaze returned to him, lingering. He was relaxed now, waiting, not pushing. And maybe thatâs what finally broke their resolve.
âYou know, Logan,â they began, the words slipping out, edged with a subtle amusement that curled at the corners of their mouth. âYouâre⌠an interesting case.â Their tone was light, but Logan could feel the weight behind it, something sharper. âIn a world full of people pursuing causes, you stand apart. Youâre here, fighting for something, part of a team, a mentorâyet you keep a step back, like youâre in it but always on the edge.â
They took their time, choosing their words carefully. âNot interested in becoming anyoneâs weapon. Not about to let anyone make a puppet out of you.â They paused, their smile fading as their peculiar eyes locked with his, earnest, with a hint of challenge. âI respect that about you.â
Loganâs expression shifted, his relaxed posture tensing as he regarded them with a sharp glance. Crossing his arms, he studied their face, searching for their angle. There was no mistaking the twinkle in their gaze, a glint that almost dared him to see through it. He furrowed his brows, but his voice was steady. âYeah? Well, I donât dance on anybodyâs strings. If Iâm fighting for something, itâs because it matters to me. And I do it my way.â
He watched as something flickered in their eyesâa veil lingering for a few heartbeats, like his words had pulled something deep from the shadows of their mind. When their gaze met his again, it was steadier, as if a quiet understanding had slipped between them. âI get that,â they replied, voice low, the words hanging in the air with a quiet finality.
Logan studied them, suspicious of this sudden transparency. âSo what? Youâre saying youâre the same?â he asked, his tone guarded, almost testing.
âMaybe.â Their mouth curved in a smirk, one that seemed to bare their teeth as much as it smiled. âLetâs say Iâve had experience balancing independence with⌠affiliations.â They leaned forward slightly, the light metallic sound of their bracelets chiming with the motion, drawing his attention and making his senses sharpen. Their gaze glinted with something that hinted at danger, at control. âWhen people see power, they get ideas. They get greedy. Sometimes, we have to show them whoâs in chargeâdecide where the lines are, or blur them if it suits us.â
Loganâs brows knit, eyes narrowing. âSo, youâre tellinâ me you dance along the line but wonât let anyone hold your strings.â He leaned back, gaze sharp. âHowâs that working out for you?â
They gave a light shrug, a glimmer of amusement in their eyes. âYouâd be surprised. Charles, for one, respects itâbut you already know that.â They smirked, as if holding back a bigger truth. âThere are others, too. Equally powerful⌠Stark, for instance.â
Loganâs eyebrows shot up at the name, genuine interest breaking through his cautious demeanor, crumbs of energy swallowed by Eâs greedy hunger. âStark? As in the Tony Stark?â He couldnât hide the hint of curiosity in his tone and leaned in, almost imperceptibly. âYou actually know the guy?â
They lifted their brows, a small pout on their lips, playing down the significance of it with an offhand shrug, though Logan noticed a spark of pride in their eyes. âWorked with him, actually. Fresh out of law school. I had a friendâblind attorney, good guyâwho mentioned Stark needed someone sharp to help⌠clean up a few things. Secure patents, keep his tech out of the wrong hands.â They kept it vague, partly out of client confidentiality and partly knowing that Logan wasnât likely interested in legal specifics.
âNot exactly glamorous, but it was an exhilarating start,â they added, the flicker of pride now shining in their voice. âLetâs just say that navigating the minefield of a billionaireâs reputation certainly kept things interesting. And it was good for the notoriety.â
Flecks of emotion brushed against something deep within Eâa faint thrill they quickly stifled but couldnât entirely ignoreâas Logan muttered something under his breath, a note of respect edging his tone. Heâd always seen Stark as the kind of guy who didnât trust anyone but himselfâand maybe his assistant, or whatever she was now. âBet that kept you busy.â
A chuckle escaped them, eyes glinting as the soft chime of their bracelets accompanied the sound. âBusy? He kept me on my toes. The manâs got a mind like wildfire; it was a challenge keeping up. But it was⌠refreshing.â They leaned back, an almost nostalgic look slipping over their face. âI guess it taught me to walk the line, to make a difference without being tied down.â
Loganâs eyes narrowed thoughtfully, intrigued despite himself. The story felt like a glimpse into the puzzle of their past. âSo howâd you end up here?â he asked, his curiosity piqued. âNot that Iâm sayinâ this place is a downgrade or anything,â he added with a smirk, resting his arms on the table.
They sensed his interest like a pulse, faint but unmistakable. It seeped into them, stirring that familiar, alluring rush, and they let out a soft laugh, an edge of amusement in their eyes. âDid you know Charles and Stark held a gala a few months back to fund the schoolâs new equipment?â
Logan nodded, some recognition flitting across his face. âI remember hearing about it. Charity thing, wasnât it?â
âExactly.â Their voice stayed casual, but their eyes sparkled with the thrill of memory. âThatâs where I met Charles.â Their gaze flicked back to him, pausing just long enough to let the moment breathe. âWe got along right away. He needed someone to navigate the legalities and ensure the schoolâs mission stayed protected. A few conversations later, and here I am.â Their eyes held his, a glimmer of interest that wasnât easily brushed aside, as his curiosity continued to fuel something deep within them.
Logan could feel it tooâa pull he couldnât resist, a delicate pressure building inside him, different from the sharp pull of their first exchanges. This was smoother, quieter, sinking in with each new glimpse he got of Eâs story, drawing him in until pulling back wasnât an option. He sensed the quiet power behind everything they revealed, and it stirred something deeper in himâa mix of respect, intrigue, and the surprising comfort of recognition, that kept the tension going.
He leaned back, crossing his arms again, a smirk tugging at his lips. âSo, you just go wherever the cause suits you, huh?â His voice held a challenge underlined by curiosity. âIf Stark showed up again tomorrow, youâd be right back in his corner?â
E nodded, unfazed by the edge in his tone. âIf his goals align with mine? Yes. Of course Iâd work with him again! Without a second thought! Same goes for Charles.â Their gaze softened, a glimmer of conviction breaking through their usually controlled demeanor. âI want to be part of something that matters, Logan.â
Logan studied them, catching just how much they meant it. Heâd known E wasnât anyoneâs puppet, but now he could see they werenât waiting around for someone to hand them a cause, either. They were carving out their own pathâfluid, adaptable, going wherever their instincts took them. And he found himself respecting that: their drive, mixed with that fierce independence. Hell, he could relate to itâmaybe even admire it a little.
E felt it, the ripple of his respect, like a quiet current feeding into them. For all their control, a spark of satisfaction slipped through their gaze, their mask almost slipping as they met his eyes. His admiration, rare and guarded, felt potentâdangerously so. The energy coursed through them, lingering like a hidden pulse beneath their skin. They shifted slightly, regaining composure before his steady gaze could pierce too deeply.
They looked calm, in control, continuing their previous thought. âIâm loyal to a cause.â Then, their eyes took on a sharper edge, something deeper flickering beneath the surface. âBut Iâll never let myself be chained to anyone ever again.â
There was a flash of anger, fierce and unyielding, sparking in their gaze. The quiet chime of their bracelets sounded as they leaned forward, their voice steady but intense. âThereâs too much to do, too many ways to make a differenceâlike what you do here with these kids.â
Logan didnât miss the brief fire of fury that had slipped through the cracks in their cool confidence, just enough to reveal a scar, raw and unhealed. They didnât merely have a preference for freedom; it was a need, born from something that had burned them hard and left its mark. That kind of wound didnât heal easyâheâd know.
He held their gaze, his expression softening with a rare flicker of understanding. E might play at being dangerous and unpredictable, but he was beginning to see past the games, past the mischief. Beneath it all, they werenât half as threatening as they liked to seemânot to him, anyway. And now he wondered if their determination to make a difference came from more than just ambition. Maybe they were out here carving paths so no one else would have to walk through the fire alone.
Just as quickly, Eâs eyes narrowed, the hint of vulnerability vanishing as they pulled themselves back. Their lips curved into a knowing smirk, that easy, predatory edge sliding into place. âWhatâs with the look, Logan?â they purred, voice rich with playful menace. âDidnât think Iâd have you figured out that quickly?â
He tilted his head, a low chuckle rolling out as his eyes held steady, watching them with newfound clarity. âLong way from that, sweetheart,â he replied, his voice as rough as the smile he wore. His stare cut through their guarded expression, tracing that hidden spark they were still trying to shield. âBut Iâve seen enough to figure out thereâs a hell of a lot more goinâ on with you that what you let on.â
They scoffed, dismissive as ever, though Loganâs steady gaze didnât miss the faint, almost imperceptible shift in their eyes, the way they lingered on him just a second too long. They were good at playing the part; he could give them that. And hell, he had to respect itâthe way they held their ground, defiant but calm, ready to take on whatever came next. But heâd caught a glimpse behind their guard nowâjust enough to give him a way in, a thread he could pull if he wanted, evening the power balance between them. A hint of a smirk tugged at his lips; theyâd shown him more than they intended, and he planned on playing that to his advantage.
E met his stare, the faintest crease of tension at the edge of their mouth as they spoke. âThereâs not much going on with me,â they said smoothly, though their tone carried an edge, a warning, like a line drawn firmly in the sand. âAt best, youâll see someone whoâs lived long enough to know that, at some point, weâre just the sum of our own burdensâregrets, pain, and the constant battle to find a place in a world that sees us as either weapon or threat.â They shrugged, gaze cooling as if daring him to contradict them. âI know you know what I mean.â
Loganâs mouth quirked, and he offered a subtle nod. Oh, he knew. He knew that weight, the feeling of being something both feared and useful, but he also saw how tightly they held onto that defensive edge, like armor too important to set aside. And it made sense. If theyâd been through even half of what he had, especially as a woman with power, that sharpness was more than just for showâit was a primal instinct born from necessity.
âSo, you play the part of the predator, huh?â he asked, his voice casual, almost challenging. âGotta keep everyone on their toes, or they might see more than you want âem to?â
Their gaze hardened slightly, something flickering before they smoothed it over. âItâs survival, hun,â they replied, tone measured with a hint of sarcasm, the nickname sharp on their lips. Their fingers moved up to toy with the delicate golden chain around their neck, the single white pearl shifting gently between their fingertips. âI wasnât raised to be anyoneâs prey. Iâve always been powerful in a way, even before my true nature revealed itself. Living as a mutant in this world means learning to navigate perceptionsâpeople donât always take well to what they donât understand. You know that too. So, yes, most of the time, I have to play the predator. Itâs how I keep my place in this society.â
Their eyes gleamed, that familiar guarded edge slipping back into place, like steel settling into a sheath. âAnd maybe itâs the only way I know how.â
The words settled between them, carrying an honesty that almost surprised him. Beneath the mischief and sharpness, he could see the echoes of past battles that had molded them into someone who walked the line between danger and glamor, between freedom and guarded solitude.
âDoesnât it get exhausting?â he asked, tone light but edged enough to make it clear he wasnât just making conversation. âPlayinâ that part all the time, keepinâ everyone at armâs length?â
For a split second, something flickered across their faceâan almost imperceptible crackâbut they smoothed it over with a cool smile. âItâs only exhausting if you donât know how to handle it,â they replied, looking down at him with a hint of mockery, as if to suggest he wouldnât know. Leaning back, they reclaimed control of the moment. âBesides, I didnât walk this path to blend in with the crowd. The world makes demands. I learned early that if I wanted a future worth having, Iâd have to shape it myselfâalone.â
They straightened with a subtle chime of their bracelets, a glint of pride in their stance, fierce and unyielding, making Loganâs respect tick up a notch, teasing Eâs hunger with a rich, electric thrill. They felt it brush against their senses, fueling the simmer beneath their calm. For a fleeting moment, their expression softened, indulging in the warmth of his regard. But it didnât escape him that beneath their carefully crafted façade lay a quiet kind of fatigue, a weariness he knew too well. They might be used to the role, but that didnât mean it didnât take a toll. With a practiced flick of their eyes, they returned to their cool detachment, meeting his gaze with that same untouchable allure, even as their hunger urged them closer.
Logan shifted, crossing his arms loosely, gaze steady as a teasing smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, his eyes glowing with playful challenge. âSounds to me like someoneâs after more than just puttinâ on a show.â
Their smile froze for the briefest moment, a flicker of tension before they rolled their eyes, snapping the mask back into place. âAnd you think you know what Iâm after?â They raised an eyebrow, voice slipping into that smooth, predatory edge that reminded him just how much they hated being readâjust like he did.
âMaybe,â he replied, holding their gaze with that same easy smirk. âSeems like a part of you might want somethinâ more. Connections. Someone to reach out to, now and then. Make it feel less⌠empty.â
They scoffed, laughter low and guarded as they leaned in, the slight sound of their bracelets punctuating the motion once more. Their voice dropped to a whisper. âDonât flatter yourself, Logan,â they said, eyes glinting with challenge as they inched closer, the whisper turning almost venomous. âI donât need anybody, pretty boy. Especially not you.â Both their words and gaze sharpened, a teasing yet defensive spark behind it, though something unspoken lingered there. The faint chime followed their movements, an echo of tension and warning. âYou might think youâve seen through me, but trust me, thereâs a lot more here than youâre ready to understand. So, stop digging. You might not like what you find.â
Loganâs smile barely shifted, but he didnât push further, didnât try to peel back any more layers. He didnât need to. Heâd seen enough to know that behind the sharp edges and fierce guard, E wasnât so different from him. And the thing they made him crave these last few weeks might just be the thing theyâd craved themselves for a long time.
Silence stretched between them, charged and unbroken, as they sized each other upâE, guarded and fierce behind their confident exterior; Logan, settled and a little more at ease than heâd been since they first met.
He chuckled, a low, quiet rumble that broke the silence and hung in the space between them. A confident smile played on his lips, almost as if he were savoring his small victory. âSo,â he murmured, leaning in. âWe done here, or⌠you need me for somethinâ else?â His tone carried a hint of something deeper, something suggestive.
They bristled, the calm mask slipping momentarily as irritation flashed in their eyes, but they regained composure, sliding smoothly into a clipped, professional tone. âIf you donât see any more changes to make, I can take care of the rest. Iâll give you the documents once theyâre finalized.â
Logan nodded, his gaze steady as he rose from his chair, towering over them for a brief moment. âAlright,â he said, his voice warm but resolute, like he was sealing an unspoken agreement. âSee you around then.â
With that, he turned, heading toward the door. And as he left, he took with him the solid rythm of his presence, that subtle weight of connection theyâd woven into him over the past couple of weeks. The room felt colder, emptier without it. The quiet settled in, hollow and gnawing, the sharp hunger suddenly surging in as the connection broke, slipping from their grasp like sand between their fingers.
Alone once again, they could almost feel itâan ache beneath the calm exterior, an unsettling reminder of what heâd managed to stir to life, only to take it away.
To be continuedâŚ
Notes: If you enjoyed it, don't forget to comment and spread the love đ More on the way!
⨠Masterlist â¨
Don't forget to follow the tags "Devilish Desires" and "xpressit writings" to stay tuned for the next chapters đ
đ @quillycrow
#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x oc#wolverine x oc#wolverine#wolverine fanfiction#x men movies#x men#fanfiction#sub!logan howlett#logan howlet smut#wolverine smut#gender fluid character#days of future past#Devilish Desires#xpressit writings#xpressit!#logan x reader#logan howlett x reader
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Khaled Altaban (@khaled-eltaban) is a 24 year old from Gaza that has asked me to help share his fundraiser. (He has had a few different usernames since his blogs keep getting reported and deleted.)
It has been months and he still has not reached his very modest goal of ÂŁ10,000. (ÂŁ3,691Â /Â ÂŁ10,000Â raised as of October 18th)
He has been spoken to and vetted by @/90-ghost [here], he has shared photos of himself that turn up clean on reverse image search, he has shared videos of himself [here] that can only be found attached to his Gofundme. Despite all of this his campaign has had very little traction, and he has been accused of being a scam, (which you can see my response to here) further stagnating his campaign.
I don't know if people understand why so many families and individuals desperately need this money - it's because, besides even the cost of passports and border crossing, the cost of living has become exorbitantly high. Multiple Palestinians on here can attest that with little aid coming in to Gaza, necessities like food and water are both rare AND expensive. Not to mention e-sims. So every dollar is meaningful.
You have seen me reblog this fundraiser before, but I am making this post since my inbox is currently closed and fresh posts help boost campaigns! Thank you if you consider helping.
#vetted fundraisers#I'll be trying to make more posts like these in the future - I want to be able to make them as well as possible#resources
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-âOh, school has to be something serious, especially this year/something like that!â
The things I did when I was at school (especially in computer class):
TW: cigarette
I have a lot of memories, and this is certainly one of the most important/best/funniest in my life. I'm really going to miss everything... and I'm already crying lol..
#yes. I did that- and my friends loved that stuff <33#*sigh* I'm really going to miss it.. I'm not ready to be someone older... (I really hate the future)#and I'm not posting anything yet because I'm waiting for christmas day to me come back. that's why I'm not answering anyone#when I get back. I'll kind of try to have more content and answer you guys. but for now I want some time...#I want my year to end in a different way.#like- full of memories. the ones that made me laugh the most. these are the ones I really want to remember..#I don't want to leave aside everything I've experienced this year. and in all these last years actually.#I want to remember them. I want to make them become stories so I can tell other people how much I had fun..#and I hope that even I will enter a new life. I can also have other stories to tell and have fun!#with other people. and maybe. with my friends too..#so- yeah. I'm mel. and hope if you read this. say something.. to let me know that you care or something...#i'm mel and this is my blogâď¸#my art blog#my memes#?#my memories#my memories of school#my memories at school
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You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:
"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"
So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)
But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.
So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?
#I hope this isn't controversial I'd hate for a bunch of folks to come here and start arguing /srs#legitimately hate just the idea of having to deal with that#I just like to talk about myself and part of myself is this#I'd say âone of the rare times this isn't about being nonhumanâ but I'm trying to keep this an open blog for my thoughts#since if I make it a ânonhuman blogâ then once I stop fixating on this and it becomes another part of my identity#I'll forget about this blog and just vanish#and that's already happened once with a vocaloid blog so I'm trying to prevent it#I just want to stay away from toxicity or discohrse cause that certainly wouldn't help my life or mental health#I made this blog to help me feel better not worse lol#anywayssss#actually gifted#since I heard of someone asking gifted folks to use this tag like they do âactually autisticâ and âactually ADHDâ ones#I hope you'll take this post#I might post more about giftedness in the future so I'll use that one if I do :D#intellectual giftedness#actually autistic#also ADHD but that'd be a lot to mention here#just know that's why I said *some* of my executive dysfunction#if my experience feels off that might be why#autism#oh and here's the âI probably got something wrong about giftedness go do your own research please (I promise it's fun!)#and if you are gifted I'm sorry if I got stuff majorly wrongâ disclaimer#alright NOW it's time for breakfast XD#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kid burnout
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"Holy Cats! Extra! Extra! Billions Lost in Stock Market Crash!"
The year is 1929, and your Sim finds themselves among the countless affected by the devastating aftermath of the stock market crash. With nothing left but shattered dreams, they must now begin anew!
No job, no home, and worst of all, NO MONEY :(
The goal of this Mini Decades challenge is to get your sims to build, live and have raised a family in a happy home by the beginning of world war 2. The great depression was considered over by the start of the 1940s
I didn't invent the Rags to Riches challenge or the Decades Challenge rules. I'm just sharing a slightly tweaked challenge I've been enjoying and thought others might like too :)
*currently working on a random encounter table to make this version a bit more unique
My Guide Below:
I am following these guides with basic tweaks
Rags2Riches Challenge
Decades Challenge, Follow the 1930s Rules
BAISCS OF THE CHALLENGE & MADATORY RULES
⢠You must follow technological limitations of that Era.
⢠No Cheats or Mods made to make the challenge easier allowed.
Being this is a Decades inspired Challenge the use of CC & mods for realism involving historical gameplay is fine. At the end of the day the point is to have fun!
⢠Choose your sims age & lifespan.
Whether your sim had a family & children prior to the crash is entirely up to you!
⢠Sleep in a public area or a friends home if you do not own a bed.
Historical Tweak:
During the Great Depression, the prevalence of "slums" or homeless encampments surged due to the housing crisis that plagued people in the early 1930s.
If you opt to invite Sims into your household, take on roommates, or utilize the FOR RENT Landlord ability to rent out beds, you can do so. However, it is imperative that you secure the necessary funds to construct housing for these new Sims.
⢠You may eat/ make dishes using public spaces or a friends home, however taking food with you is not allowed.
Historical Tweak:
In the tough times of the Great Depression, families were really struggling, which means your Sims' neighbors might not have much food to spare.
If your Sim wants to hit up a neighbor's kitchen for a meal, they gotta flip a coin:
Heads - They can grab a quick meal from the fridge.
Tails - Sorry, no luck. Time to try somewhere else.
So, your Sim might resort to begging if they are unable to feed themselves But hey, it could lead to some interesting stories and maybe even some new pals along the way.
⢠No selling through household inventory
⢠No selling through Plopsy - no internet in 1929
⢠No selling through Retail job due to the unemployment crisis, if you can afford to purchase a retail lot however you may open a retail business.
⢠You CAN sell items through the Food Stand or Market tables.
âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝âď˝â
GOALS OF THE CHALLENGE
Build a home:
⢠At least 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a kitchen, dining room, living room, a study ( with a type writer if u have historical CC ), and a outdoor garden area.
MANDATORY STEPS FOR BUILDING A HOME:
In order to build a home you must have completed these steps:
⢠Reach level 7 Handiness and level 5 gardening before you begin building or placing items outside.
⢠Have 1 Bedroom with bed, a bathroom with toilet and shower, a living room and kitchen area.
⢠you must own at least one of these: Fridge or Icebox, sink, stove, stove, counter, table, chair, and couch.
⢠A blueprint for your house cost $500
HAVE A FAMILY
Find love, and have the opportunity to raise a family despite the hardships of the great depression!
⢠Get married
⢠Become a grandparent
MANDATORY STEPS FOR STARTING A FAMILY:
due to the affects of the great depression I feel like it would be unreasonable to expect a FULL HOUSE BUILT before you can start a family, so instead I'm tweaking that a bit.
You don't need a HUGE MANSION by the end of the challenge but a decent house should be expected. the point it escape being forced to live in a shack.
⢠For every new Sim joining the household, you must ensure there is a dedicated room to accommodate them. This room must be equipped with basic necessities, including a bed, access to a bathroom, and sufficient funds and food to sustain them.
⢠Max Toddler Skills
⢠A Child must complete one of the options before becoming a teen:
Reach level 5 in 2 skills with perfect grades or reach level 10 in any skills.
⢠Teens must complete one of these option before becoming a young adult
Reach level 5 in 2 skills & a part time job or reach level 10 in 2 skills.
⢠Host a wedding every time a pair of sims get married.
ASPIRATIONS:
⢠Complete at least one aspiration for your sim and it's spouse
⢠Complete an Aspiration for each of your sims children.
#I have no idea if this is weird to kinda useless to post but oh well!#I'm sorta using it like if ur in the mood to play decades but don't want to do the entire 1890 to 2000s gameplays#it's just a snippet of my person favorite decades and only goes about a generation long#I'll make edit in the future to try and make it more unique#I'm working on a random encounter table atm#Rags2Riches#rags to riches#Withering Heights#decades challenge#ts4 challenge#ts4 gameplay#ts4#Withering Heights Challenge
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jounoâ#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's âWelcomeâ scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer droppedâ#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The âdon't worryâ I didn't kill themâ direct towards Atsushiâ#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His âI'm not leaving anyone behindâ!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feelâ#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the militaryâ#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear politicalâ#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi đĽ°đĽ°#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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Now I'm curious about something đ¤ Reblog this and put in the tags or comments what ideas or concepts did you scrap for your OC's lore/backstory.
I know an OC's background isn't always going to be consistent or concrete and that's fine! But do you ever have ideas that you either A) didn't have time to work on, B) found too complex to incorporate into their lore, or C) feel like it just didn't fit in based on the standards of whatever universe (canon or original) your OC is in? Or perhaps a secret fourth option, I dunno!
#Hehe I'll start ofc beware the tags are lengthy and plenty hehehe#But as far as I remember I had a bunch of convoluted ideas for Madison's background#The most notable one being that she was an android who had a human soul trapped inside her and was such when she came into the events of SDC#Died at a very young age from an accident that had her in the hospital but her father managed to somehow scrounge up the core of her soul#Said soul was then booted up into an empty android which then became sentient#BUT limited in its physical features since it was the 70-80s and that her father worked in some hidden department in the government#Her father brought 'her' home and her mother grew suspicious of how different her daughter has been acting-#-Unaware that her body is actually gone and all that is left of her is her soul and memories#I was also going to incorporate some concept of a time loop but like a long loop if it makes sense?#Like a week loop of how the 'android' Madison is brought home and her mother and brother are suspicious#Said mother and brother are horrified knowing that she is no longer who she was because all that she *is* left is her soul...#am i making sense SJDKKSKDKS probably not but the huge inspiration for this idea comes from the indie game Mothered which i LOVED#you should defo try watching an LP of it!!#The plot revolves around the MC's soul and her family and the terrible but sad fate that the mother has to go through-#-to keep seeing her daughter be forced into the vessel of an android and live with them#even when they know that their daughter will never be the same again#I still kept the aspect of angst within the family but translated it through a more digestible concept#(at least I hope it is when I share more of it with posts in the future ( ´Đď˝)=3)#I also wanted to use aspects of amnesia where Madison gets complacent into living with her mother as an android-#-bc as soon as she finds out that she is no longer who she is the system inside the android tries to erase said memories#And that she'll only regain them when she finds that her biological name isn't Madison but is actually Rhonda#NDKDKSKD LIKE THATS A WEIRD EXPLANATION where I got more of that inspo from a song by The Scary Jokes but eh!!#The amnesia and soul explanation plot just doesn't work for me!#ALSO i got inspired by the jojo fangame 7SU and wanted to incorporate the concept of the time loop too-#-with how in one universe we get the canon ending and in another universe after pucci resets the world#so Madison have more knowledge on what's going to happen to the crusaders#and manages to save all or most of them#Too convoluted and honestly not as fun to think about if anything it stays as a fun scrapped idea#Luckily i figured out a way to make it somewhat easier to achieve that 'everyone lives-no one dies' scenario in my lore now wahoo đşđ#sorry for the typos and grammar errors just correct them in your head lolol
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Finally caught up in nightbringer. Weird that they chose to literally roll credits on a storyline that didn't end. I know that the og game also rolled credits after lesson 20 as well, but that definitely felt like a full story arc with a resolution. In the same timespan in nightbringer, we had the inciting incident at the beginning, some world building, and then some pats on the head.
I'm guessing that the og game only planned to go twenty chapters so the story followed that. I'm also guessing that based on that popularity, a longer storyline was planned for nightbringer from the beginning which is fine! But still shoving credits in the same place felt jarring
#my post#obey me spoilers#nightbringer spoilers#not really spoilery but in case anyone's trying to avoid everything#it's just weird to me that they obviously planned a longer story this time and still chose to put in an indicator that media thing is over#like i feel like they could've also blocked out the story better if they really wanted 20 chapter blocks too#like the chapter 19 storyline felt like a more fulfilling end to me that would still leave room to work with in the future#but they also just said 'k that's resolved' when it literally wasn't??? it could've made a good cliffhanger because of it#but instead we have an entire chapter to say 'yay you did it! gold star for you'#maybe it'll all make sense when the next season comes out though and I'll eat my words#đ¤ˇđžââď¸
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Nervous giggles
Even more nervous giggles
There are so many professional paintings here, so many technically advanced, highly impressive works, and I'm just like [slaps some crayons down] y- yeehaw,,
I'm keeping the Escape Motions site Exciting. keeping it Interesting and Ridiculously Colorful
#pikaposts#alo(e) art#someone commented on False Moon telling me they love my style bc it's 'very cheery!'#it's still so baffling to me that expressing my horrors is always interpreted as whimsical joyful fun#i like to say that's neat! that's it's so nice i can make good things from the bad! but i also#can't help but feel like i just speak a different language from everyone else and i'll never be able to translate well enough#to be properly understood. but i mean! it shouldn't Really matter. if i Really wanted to get my point across i could try to paint more like#munch. everyone understands the scream. a gaping mouth and a blood-red sky doesn't leave much room for contentment let alone joy.#my jellyfish painting is about the wonders of the ocean and False Moon doesn't seem that different! so idk why i'm always surprised#but aNYWAY.#i'm just bein a silly goose. the real point here is that the contest i entered is now in the judging phase and the results will#be posted May 10th... i'm gonna be running around in circles until then#i definitely don't Think i'll win but holy shit it'd be wild if i did. the prizes are art tablets i could never dream of affording#but even if i don't win i get a discount on all Escape Motions stuff in the future! so it'll be easier for me to upgrade to#Rebelle 6 <3 it has CLIPPING LAYERS and i want it so damn bad. the lack of clipping layers is my only issue w rebelle 5#bc i'm indecisive and especially when drawing characters i often do my lineart in brightly colored sections#of course that's not the only better thing abt rebelle 6-- it's got some other SUPER cool stuff#it's so fucking nice to be able to paint digitally and still have all the texture. hell yeah hell yeah#...sweet din i like to infodump when it comes to art huh. it IS one of the Most Important Things to me so i suppose that makes sense#tldr; painting. yippee!! [insert confetti cannon emoji here bc i'm on desktop rn]
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I've been messaging with a 17yo kid from Gaza, named Nader.
When I asked what he wanted people to know about his family's situation, he immediately answered "the bitter cold".
His other answer was about how incredibly expensive everything is in Gaza right now. Here's context: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/10/16/how-much-does-food-cost-in-gaza
Can you imagine being in this situation? Made homeless where the stores are no longer getting consistent deliveries and might be bombed, the government is barely operating cuz it keeps getting bombed, there's not even charity getting into your besieged area, and most people's jobsâincluding your big brother'sâhave been bombed beyond repair?
Where it's getting so cold and you CAN'T get warm because you're relying on strangers to help you get that coat or blanket, or bc you need the little money that trickles in to just survive??
And can you imagine living this way for OVER A YEAR as a normal teenager who has a little brother and a baby niece with malnutrition to stress about too?
I know people are tired of hearing about Gaza. It's upsetting that this genocide has continued so long with so few powerful people even trying to stop it. But we have a responsibility to our fellow humans, to help them survive persecution.
Nader is seventeen. None of this should be on his shoulders. Please help his family be safe so he can stop feeling like it's his job to make sure his family has what they need.
This campaign was verified as authentic by gazavetters (#4 on this spreadsheet), which I have seen Palestinians I trust cite as a trusted source.
Can you give up one treat this week to help Nader's family have the basics?
If you donate at least $10 and comment on this post with proof, I'll record a silly voice message for you or draw you a post it note doodle!
Please also consider following @abdalsalam1990, the tumblr account this family is using to try to raise funds, as a reminder to yourself to share the campaign or contribute in the future.
Tagging usernames off the top of my head in hopes you'll share this fundraiser; please message me if you don't want to be tagged in things like this, or if I didn't tag you but you DO want to be tagged in posts like this.
Edit edit: thank you @transmutationisms for teaching me how tagging works đ
i've only been on this site 10 years lmao
@wizardarchetypes @herpsandbirds @brattylikestoeat @tearsofrefugees @milf--adjacent
@vampiricvenus @mostly-funnytwittertweets @sweatermuppet @mostlysignssomeportents @probablyasocialecologist
@timequangle @repotting @robertreich @antifainternational @dlxxv-vetted-donations
#how to help#abdalsalam1990#i think i've just never tried to tag more than 5 ppl before now on here somehow in the 10 years i've been on here
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chirp
(long and silly rant in tags so maybe don't open them if you're scrolling at a leisurely pace)
#chirp#the photos aren't enough...#i say with 25 queued...#inane and sudden desire to become a gifmaker has overtaken me :0#would probably take a lot more time + effort than what i already do but i imagine most of these photos have been posted before...#so even if i've never seen them around i sometimes feel bad in posting them#i don't really watch many concerts though#whereas i read the interviews just to try and see what inspired the songs. good album recs from the band. so on so forth.#its worth it bc every few years they'll get an interviewer who's a total music theory nut#still love the guy who confronted thom about his use of pedal tones.... and geeked out about the creep progression. he gets me.#not to mention seeing all the people who interviewed them in their early days bring up stuff like pop is dead ten years later just because#and then there's the fun facts like nigel telling them they couldn't eat until they were done with 2 + 2 = 5. mad dog selway.#thom insisting 5 or 6 times so far that hail to the thief is a sexy record... why... but you get the idea#not sure why i'm saying any of this or what the Point of this set of tag ramblings is supposed to be uhh.#maybe i'll make gifs in the future but there are a lot more interviews to go... and lots of old ones i want to look at again...#and even more to chase down if they're not up on citizeninsane. so i might be all rh'd out (impossible) by then.#i'm also not reading the interviews For the photos or ''clout''... it's for the anecdotes. my doc for notes on them is literally the size o#a middle grade novel... Oops ! but yeah the photos are pretty recent. i've been at this since like december on and off.#and who knows maybe i will grow tired of the pictures or they will somehow cease to be entertaining!#or i will get a life and not spend hours a day reading interviews... it's not too bad an addiction. cause i'll be done soon.
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How To Actually Set Intention To Reality Shift.
Original post made by LadyNuggie on the reddit shifting community r/Shiftingrealities. All credits to them.
Setting the intention to shift is one of the most widely discussed topics in the shifting community. A lot of shifters (especially on tiktok) will tell you "all you need to shift is intention." One girl literally said, "all you need to shift is intention, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying." Something about that didn't sit right with me and it took me a while to put my finger on why that statement bothered me.
The thing is, first of all, all you need to shift is intention and the right altered state of consciousness that works for you so you can connect to your DR and detach from your CR. But besides that, let's say all you did need to shift was intention. Well then, how do you set that intention? Because there is a right way to set intention and a wrong way.
Setting intention isn't going to sleep half hoping you wake up in your DR. Some people have literally shifted that way, but that doesn't mean that that is how you actually set intention. The key to setting intention is moving a message, desire or want from your conscious mind into your subconscious mind. Your conscious mind makes up about 5% of what we call "the mind". The remaining 95% is your subconscious and unconscious mind. Your subconscious is comprised of everything you've ever seen, heard, tasted, and experienced. Your thoughts, beliefs, values, and habits all stem from the workings of your subconscious mind. That is why "reprogramming your subconscious mind" is a popular topic in the shifting community.
Now, you set intention by ingraining or imprinting your desire into your subconscious mind. Simply having a thought or want in your head does not mean that the intention has been set. And this is where I explain what prospective memory is.
Prospective memory is when you have a "prospect" or something in mind that you want to accomplish later. Maybe you want to remember to buy more toilet paper the next time you drive by target or you need to remember to pick up your sister from her piano recital. You remember to do those tasks in the future because of prospective memory.
When trying to learn how to lucid dream, one of the first concepts you come across is reality checking, which is basically performing an action multiple times throughout the day so that you get used to it and at some point do it in a dream (because it's been ingrained into your subconscious and has become a habit). So if your reality check is counting your fingers, when the action pops up in a dream, you become lucid because in a dream you could have 8 or 4 fingers on one hand and you realize it's a dream!
Let's say you told yourself that whenever you walk into a room or stand up from a seat, you would do a reality check. That is you utilizing your prospective memory. That way, the action shows up in a dream because your subconscious mind "remembered" to do it!
So how does this relate to shifting? Well, a major reason why sleep methods don't work for a lot of people is because (like me) they have weak prospective memory. You could tell me to clap twice in the next 30 seconds and I'll forget. So it's no wonder that I "forget" to shift when I use sleep methods.
You shift with a sleep method when you set the intention to shift (using prospective memory) to your DR and detach from your CR through an altered state of consciousness (in this case, that would be sleep). When you successfully shift using a sleep method, it is because your subconscious "remembered" to do so!
This is also why a lot of people have dreams about their DR. Because the images, people and sensations from their DR have been ingrained in their subconscious mind, so they dream about it! I've literally had dreams where I walked through a portal to try to shift although I wasn't lucid.
So if you want to use sleep methods, (although this is important for any kind of shifting method) I highly recommend working on your prospective memory by giving yourself little tasks to do throughout the day. You could also start doing reality checks, that way, even if you don't shift at least you could have a lucid dream which you could use to shift anyways.
An Example of a Prospective Memory Exercise for Shifting (can also be used for lucid dreaming):
âŞď¸ The next time I walk into the kitchen I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.
âŞď¸ The next time I turn on a light bulb I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.
âŞď¸ The next time I pick something up from the floor I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.
âŞď¸ The next time I flush the toilet I will: do a reality check and remind myself to shift to my DR when I go to sleep.
Try to do each task 3 times each day. Good luck!
#reality shifting#shifting community#law of assumption#law of attraction#manifestation#manifesting#void#void state#loa
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So a while ago some friends were talking about fans who claim the Same Coin theory is canon. And I made the mistake of saying:
Do you know who also has tons in common with Bill? Mabel. Yet nobody claims Bill reincarnated as Mabel. âŚwait now I want a "same coin but it's Mabel" AU. Funniest Bill reincarnation option. The all-seeing arsonist is making macaroni glitter art. The omnipotent tyrant is crying because a unicorn called her a bad person.
And then I overthought it for two months.
SoâAU where after death, Bill's soul shoots 13 years into the past and reincarnates as Mabel. I'll call it ⨠Sparkly Coin AU â¨
Don't leave yet. Lemme show you why it works. Behold the eerie amount of parallels in their personalities, dialogue, behavior, mannerisms, tastes...
I could have kept going but my attention span ran out. All right, we all on board now? Convinced we could segue from one personality into the other? Great. Now here's why you should be interested: the juicy post-Weirdmageddon angst potential.
As long as a small fringe of the fandom still thinks Weirdmageddon is Mabel's fault, why not amp that up x100 and have some fun with it?
Is everyone sold now? Great. Let's get into the details. I've got 8 more pieces of art under the read more.
So the AU starts the instant Bill dies. Thanks to invoking his deal with the Axolotlâone way to absolve his crime, a different form, a different timeâthe Axolotl gives him a new shape and shoots him thirteen years into the past. Apparently, the Axolotl thought it would be very funny to stick Bill in the family that defeated him.
Which probably made for a jarring transition.
(It's fine, she's like 10 minutes old, she probably can't even tell who she's looking at. Not being able to tell who she was looking at is what got her into this situation ayyyy)
When Dipper & Mabel come back from Gravity Falls complaining about this triangular jerk Bill, their parents mention that Dipper's name was nearly Bill. See, after they knew they were going to have a boy, one night their mom dreamed about a visitorâsome kind of magic pink salamander??âcalling her child "BILL." Then at the next sonogram they found out they were having twins, the girl must've been hidden at a weird angle the first time, and they wanted matching names, so they thought, Bill and Bell. But they didn't really like Bell; but eventually they stumbled on Mabel, so to keep the names matching they switched from Bill to Mason. Isn't that the darnedest thing?
(Of course, Mabel and Dipper assume Bill harassed their parents to try to trick them into naming a kid after him. To be a jerk.)
When Bill meets Mabel, he's unaware that she's his future selfâBill's notably bad at doing things like, say, double-checking to see whether he's going to die anytime soonâbut like... he can tell something's up.
Naturally, before visiting Gravity Falls, there were echoes of who Mabel used to beâbut nothing anyone would be able to identify without context. All her Bill-ish quirks either smoothed out with time (see: how between second grade and fourth grade Mabel went from being the "freak" to the popular girl in class), or else they were accepted by her family as Mabel-ish quirks.
After they meet (and kill) Bill, they have the context to understand some of Mabel's behaviors... and unfortunately, some of Mabel's latent Bill-ness starts surfacing after she's been directly exposed to her prior incarnation.
The part of the Pines family familiar with Bill thinks the worst case scenario is that maybe Bill's survived and is slowly possessing Mabel; but far more likely, they think this is just some weird way of trying to subconsciously process last summer. Mabel doesn't think she's being weird, you guys are being weird, stop giving her weird looks. They get attacked by one triangle and now she can't wear yellow or pick up macrame as a hobby??
(It's not all red flags and uncomfortable triangle imagery, though. When Stan asks her what she'd like as a gift for some important event, she shyly admits that she thinks she's starting to outgrow her plastic gem jewelry and maybe she's old enough to get her first piece of real gold jewelry, if that's not too expensive? And Stan's never been so proud of her. Thirteen years old and already thinking about buying gold!)
But of course, the real fun starts when Mabel finds out.
That's the face of a girl who's just discovered that she tortured her great uncle. Now imagine running into the brother she possessed.
But I've already spent a million words and thirteen images on this post. If enough folks are interested in the AU maybe I'll expand on it later. Let me know what y'all think.
#mabel pines#bill cipher#gravity falls#gravity falls au#gravity falls fanart#sparkly coin au#my art#my writing#(here's that AU I've been taunting y'all with)
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đđđđ đ
đđđđđ đđđđđđđ, đđđ đđđ â
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
â OUR STARS : Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
â REQUESTED BY : none
ââ WARNINGS : none
ࡠPIXIE'S NOTE ! : heya pookies I know it's been a while đđť but here I am creating another series to pay off the days I wasn't posting so much ââ forgive me my pookies đđťââď¸đ¨ we have holiday break so I'm going to grind a lot đ
NANAMI KENTO, as your husband !
⢠Nanami is the perfect standard for male wife, argue with the wall ââ this man knows how to cook, clean his home, does his own laundry, and mostly basic life skills that most men barely know which is pretty much a big turn on.
Nanami who always supports your decision as long as it doesn't have any bad effects in your life, he respects you a lot to whatever you do in your life ââ he thinks that just because you are married it doesn't mean he have full possession on you, though sometimes when you asked for his opinions about your decisions in such situations he isn't shy of what he thinks.
Nanami the type of husband who will always do small and big things for you even though you can do it yourself ââ carrying groceries for you, helping you in the kitchen, sending you to your work, helps you clean the house, and goes to the mall with you.
; he surprisingly took the shopping bags form your hands gently "your hands will get numb, this is pretty heavy." he says with his usual tone as he looks at you softly, you can't help but to smile in his small little gestures and gosh it's making her heart melt.
"thank you, kento." you say as you gave him a big smile and pressed a kiss on his cheeks making him grin.
Nanami who is being a worrywart when you don't reply quickly when you're out with your friends late night ââ
; kento | sent a message.
10:24 pm
kento : just got home love â¤ď¸
kento : what time are you going home?
11:04 pm
kento : love, tell me when you're going home I'll pick you up â¤ď¸
kento : is everything going alright?
kento : kind of worried, hope you respond soon đ
11:07 pm
kento : please reach out to me when you can so I can pick you up âşď¸
kento : I'm worried đ˘
you : love I'm fine sorry, we we're drinking just a tiny bit đ
you : you can pick me up now đđťââď¸đ¨
Nanami the type of husband to use cringe emojis but you appreciate it anyways, he barely use his phone or try to use emojis ââ headcanon : he learned using emojis from yuji or gojo đđť you find it silly and cute anyways.
Nanami who's phone is always filled with your photos and some sceneries with you in it ââ he doesn't like taking photos of himself that much though, he loves taking photos of you and look through it when he's not busy or when he misses you and he's at work.
Nanami when he learned how to use Instagram and he can't stop posting you ââ Gojo probably tried influencing him to use social media once and he was like no??? not until one time you took a photo of him during one of your dates and you asked him, "hey can I post this?" and of course he said yes and after that you kept posting him at some times which led him to the idea of posting you as well since he thinks you deserve it too.
; nanami.kento1990
tagged : @y/n.igcom | â¤ď¸
itaaa.yuji and 13 others liked this post.
gojosatoru | he knows how to use Instagram đŚ ???
gojosatoru | WHO TAUGHT YOU âď¸
itaaa.yuji | first post !!
nobaraaaa | parents đđť
Nanami who is nervous to talk about the future he wants with you â not totally nervous it's more like when you talked about kids you wanted soon with him he will always be like, "sure I also thought about that." with his usual tone but deep inside talking about it was his hyper fixation and he can't stop thinking about it.
Nanami who never in his life forget about giving you flowers in small or big occasions ââ
; "happy mother's day." he says softly with a grin in his face as he hands you a bouquet of your favourite flowers, "kento, I'm not a mother yet." you laugh as you take the bouquet from him, admiring the flowers for a second. He never fails to make you feel happy, "maybe soon?" he chuckles then makes his way to give you a hug. "sure." you laughed and happily hugged him back tightly, exchanging I love you.
Nanami who never left by your side especially when you are not okay, he will leave his work for a day or even weeks if you really need him by your side ââ he will never get tired of comforting you; if you need a shoulder to cry on? He's there. He can stay all day in bed with you to make you feel better ââ take you out in a vacation if that's what you really need or probably do every house chores just to make you rest.
â REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
#nanami kento#nanami kento x reader#jjk nanami#nanami angst#nanami fluff#nanami kento fluff#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#nanami kento angst#nanami kento smut#jujutsu kaisen smau#jjk smau#gojo x reader#choso x reader#geto x reader#jjk men#toji fushiguro#aoi todo
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How do you feel about Milsiril? Like what do you think of her interactions between the canaries, her goals, her intentions and morality? I keep seeing people with mixed feelings about her, some saying she's just toxic or morally grey or doing bad but with good intentions or that she's just a mentally ill and literally so much more, also with the comic about Otta calling Milsiril love for her children/Kabru as just love for a pet, I always saw people take it at face value and say yes, Milsiril did love them more as pets instead of children, did she take up raising/adopting non-elf children because she felt like none of them could ridicule her like the elves did because they didn't know what an elf was supposed to be like (and also because they were children) or did she inherently view them as less? I mean the canaries and I'm pretty sure almost all of the cast in dungeon meshi have some sort perspective on different races especially because how they were taught about them, i just think it was interesting to finally see someone interpret it as Otta just misinterpreting Milsiril, I'm just really interested in her, i think shes neat, sorry for the rant!
Ooh, well to preface this, I hadn't really realized Milsiril was such a controversial character before my last post, I kinda live under a rock. She's really not a character I had given much thought besides what I wrote there before it, but I can do my best to express what I have thought since, with sources for it. I'm not sure what order to go thru so I'll just go by manga appearances and then extras, this will probably be quite a long post
This is the first time she shows up in the manga (ch55) Kabru is wondering about what future they might have if the elves take them into custody because of the ancient magic, he thinks about Milsiril as a get out of jail card, and mentions "There's a chance they would make us become permanent resident of the elven lands." with the image of Milsiril holding him. I don't think that means she would be the one to not let them leave, since this would probably be an legal issue, and the fact Milsiril lives away from other Elves. It does set up that Milsiril is quite overprotective tho, with Kabru's reaction to her teary hug. (rest is under a cut)
The next time she shows up is in ch61 right after Kabru falls down the dungeon along with Mithrun, he faints and has this flashback
She's being her overbearing self treating Kabru's small injury as if its something you need to be in bed for, hand feeding him like he's a toddler, and when he insists he wants to learn how to fight and be strong like her, she hugs him revealing to us for the first time her arm scars, she's cleary in distress too, so you wonder "what has happened to her?"
It continues in the next pages, as she tells him to stay there, where it's safe and there's cake, and describes the bad things he might encounter. Until he tells her he will go with or without her help
Honestly this is a Kabru we don't see often, this is the version of him that is usually in thought bubbles, he's blowing out in frustation over being smothered and demanding straight up what he wants, instead of trying to manipulate Milsiril, very blunt for him. Milsiril seems to flip a switch into battle mode, when she decides to train him for real.
I really thought this was funny, the visual of these cuddly toys and this Mom that was being so soft just a second ago completely flipping into something menacing is very amusing to me. She says "I'll give you an exhaustive, thorough training in how to use a sword... until you finally decide that you're ready to give up." although it sounds cruel, it seems she really trained him as best she could to make sure he would survive the dungeon. If he couldn't take the training with her there was no way he would be able to take on the dungeon, but he could, so much so that he managed to make her let him go. I can see this being seen as her trying to prevent him from going but to me it seems more like some tough love from a traumatized war veteran in this case.
The last thoughts he has is admitting his Mom was right, "Not only were there plenty of traps, monsters, and malice... but there were times when I felt so hungry and cold that I couldn't stand it."
And he concludes with "I never once thought that I wanted to go back there. That room where I could eat all the cake that I wanted..." While I can understand the interpretation that he means he would rather go thru all this than go back, perhaps cause he hated it there, I think it's rather a statement to how committed he is to defeating the dungeon, the visuals show him in rubble vs him in a soft big bed, the rough reality he fought to be able to face and the comfyness of what his life could be. Plus is mirroring exactly what Milsiril said to him. Admitting she was right about the bad things but that he won't give up for the safe easy life he had.
After that visuals of Milsiril are used while Kabru tries to sus out Mithrun but she shows up again in Mithrun's backstory.
Here she's straight up called Gloomy, which wasn't really the version of her we saw so far, gotta remember this is also how Mithrun saw her and that she was called gloomy as a way of bullying. Kabru mostly cuts off her part in the story until the end, when she's the one to find Mithrun after he was eaten by the demon
She doesn't really care much for Mithrun as we see in some extras, and she was ready to mercy kill him, but she is also the one to spare his life. This could be seen as her thinking he can still be of use, and it's how it sounds with how Kabru tells the story, but I do think this was also a merciful act, Mithrun was in rehabilitation for 20 years after being saved, by the time he was actually useful for anything Milsiril had already left the canaries and adopted Kabru.
Now for extras... About Mithrun/The Canaries, Milsiril was cleary someone that hated the people around her. This is her extra in the Adventurer's Bible
Milsiril seems to be the type that hates "popular kids" so to say, her description says she was bullied by other elves for being so introverted so I believe she holds a grudge against people like Mithrun that seem to have succeeded where she failed. But realizing he was a twisted person like her seemed to make her feel more sympathetic towards him, that's why I think she really did act with mercy when she saves Mithrun, he's now someone she sees as similar to her, she sees he also suffered like her
Her decription also mentions she left the canaries specifically because she was disgusted with how the Utaya situation was dealt with. Yet it seems like she came back to help Mithrun with his rehabilitation once she quits.
There's an interpretation to be made that she did this only to get "revenge" on the demon since she just saw the destruction of Utaya, and that she's using him. On the other hand maybe she wants to help him find a motivation to live, she's no longer a canary and she has time to actually help him now. I don't know which one is the truth but it's not obviously something self-serving if you ask me. Especially in the context that right before this scene Milsiril admits she wishes they could have talked before.
My interpretation of her relationship with the canaries and other elves is that she's someone depressed that was mistreat for her 'quirky' side, the dolls are clearly one of the ways she used to cope with anxiety/depression but it only caused her to be bullied by her own kin, she's the daughter of an important family and it's shown in other extras, including one about Mithrun, that nobles often send out the kids they don't want around to become canaries. It's an easy way to get rid of someone undesirable and I think it was the case for Milsiril. (Pattadol even assumes her parents love her less than her sisters for sending her to join the canaries).
No wonder than that now that she's finally free from the canaries she chose to seek her own happiness away from the society she felt she could never fit into, she clearly likes to take care of children too, I think it's mean to assume she only likes them because she feels superior to them when there's no indication that this is the case.
And I don't think it's a coincidence she's so overprotective of Kabru after Utaya, it's literally the tragedy that was the breaking point for her, and he's a surviving small child from that tragedy, Milsiril cares about Kabru and wanted him to have a comfortable safe life after everything he went thru...
This ended up getting way too long so I'll make second part tomorrow about the rest of the extras and Kabru, and some other things I've seen said about Milsiril, but to answer the questions...
I don't think she treats her children as pets, Otta is just salty she was called out for dating like Leo Dicaprio.
Every single dungeon meshi character can be called morally grey because they all have flaws that in our world can be considered unforgivable, but they don't live in our world. To me Milsiril is doing her best in the context she lives in.
Who even is neurotypical in dungeon meshi, Milsiril is yet another flavour of a neurodivergent traumatized character among so many.
I believe she thought of the other canaries, especially Mithrun, as the same type of people that were cruel to her, probably because some of them really were, but that she generalized it to the point she thinks of all of them as bad by default. You can only get hurt so many times before you assume everyone will hurt you.
Part 2
#dungeon meshi#adventurers bible#this is REALLY long because I dont know how to say things#and I want people to make their own interpretations of this...#Milsiril#Ask#Long post#longpost#Part 1 of 2#Edit: I went back and rewrote some stuff I thought were written in a confusing way#I keep repeating this in tags but I really am bad at writting I say things in a weird order using strange words sometimes#If you ever dont understand something I said please ask#dunmeshi thoughts#character ask
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There's this idea, fairly common in society, that mental illness is for teens and up. Children are happy little creatures, generally, right? Sometimes they're abused and the trauma can make them mentally ill, but that's not common.
There are two fundamental problems with this attitude. One, it's incorrect to assume that trauma is the only reason a young kid can be mentally ill. Two, trauma is more common than people think. I'll be covering the first problem in this post through the lens of my particular experience.
Where I live, you can be diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 years old. You cannot be diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a minor. This poses a problem because my age of onset was in first grade, roughly six years old. Because of the fact that I was very young and new to the world, this was also the age of my first suicide attempt. Thinking I wouldn't be able to pass a spelling test genuinely felt like something worth trying to die over. So, I ate some hemlock, since I'd read about Socrates being killed with it. Luckily, I ate western hemlock, an unrelated species, and just felt kind of sick.
I'm not recounting that for fun or pity. I'm recounting it because children with mental illness are in genuine danger because they have little to no experience with managing their emotions, have little to no concept of the idea that their life can change and improve, and are dismissed by adults. I told a teacher that the test made me want to die, though not that I'd attempted to, and it was brushed off as little kid hyperbole. If I had used a method that was effective rather than one I thought would be, I would have been dead at six years old.
I would not receive medication that worked even a bit for another two years. I would not receive treatment for bipolar disorder specifically for ten years, and that required my PCP fudging the reason for the medication because she was afraid I would die if she didn't, and diagnosis was still two years off at minimum. I received a formal diagnosis at age 19, thirteen years after onset.
But surely that's uncommon, right? This story is a huge edge case, right? I actually have no idea, because age of onset and age of diagnosis are massively conflated for most disabilities. Policies like the one in my area that restricted bipolar diagnoses by age can artificially raise the age of "onset", in my case by thirteen years. The general idea that children are somehow immune to mental illness can also delay diagnosis by several years, perpetuating the idea that young children can't be mentally ill. The data on when people start experiencing mental illness is inherently skewed upwards, and I frankly don't have a good estimate on how bad that skew is. If anyone does have that data, please chime in.
Listen to children. If they're saying they're sad all the time, that they don't care about anything, that they don't see a future for themselves, those are signs of depressive symptoms. If they say that tests make them feel sick, that they can't do anything because they're scared, that they can't breathe and freeze up, those are signs of anxious symptoms. Many children talk about imaginary things, and that's just fine, but slip in a question or two about them to make sure that the kid is just playing, and not experiencing psychosis.
Children are new to the world and vulnerable, and they don't know what's normal and what isn't. They need people who are more experienced watching out for problems they might be having, and listening when they talk about having problems. If you can, try to be the person who perceives them, and tells them that things can be better.
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