#I'd say studying but I wouldn't consider it a free day if there's work to do

[nattikay]

bedtime

NOTE: stä'noli should be stolä'ni, that was a pretty rudimentary mistake and I'm not really sure what was going on in my brain when I wrote it but 😅 maybe i'll fix it on the image later but i can't be bothered right this minute, i'm already up way later than I should be as is (have an early day tomorrow)

Further language notes/rambling under the cut!

"wait, isn't Jake supposed to be spelled Tsyeyk in Na'vi?" Yes it is! And if I'd given that line to a monolingual Na'vi speaker I would've spelled it that way. BUT Neytiri is bilingual and does not pronounce it "Tsyeyk" (I mean, technically she doesn't say "Jake" either, it's more like "Zheyk" but w/e). So for her specifically I keep the j. I suppose at that point I could've just kept the English spelling completely, but leaving silent letters at the end like that makes things weird in written Na'vi given all the grammatical endings that can be applied (not that that matters in this comic because they weren't needed for the line but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Speaking of Jake, writing Na'vi dialogue for him is fun to me because he's not a native speaker which means I'm free to give him all sorts of beginner habits and/or mistakes, especially given that by his own admission he struggled learning the language. However, since I'm working within a pretty broad time frame, I had to remind myself that he wouldn't be a beginner forever.

I bring this up because there are two aspects of Jake's dialogue here that I was going to point out as...well, not wrong, but as more "English-y" habits I'd headcanoned he might hang on to...but on further reflection changed my mind because I realized that at the time of this comic he's been living with the Omatikaya for nearly ten years and would be pretty much fluent. I still left it written that way but am no longer headcanoning that that's ~just how he talks~ at this point in his life. After all, if I'm conscious of these habits after just two years of studying the language as a casual hobby, is it really believable that he'd be clinging to them after nearly a decade of full daily immersion, even with his self-admitted struggle with language learning? 😅

Anyways, for the sake of rambling about my hobby regardless, one of these aspects was using SVO word order, like English. Na'vi is a free-word-order language, so SVO is valid, but most Na'vi speakers are not going to stick to it exclusively. I think Jake, like many native-English-speaking learners, may have relied on this word order earlier on because that's just how his brain has been wired to process information, but at this point I think just by sheer exposure he'd have broken out of any strict adherence to it, intentional or otherwise.

The other thing is concerning possessive. The standard Na'vi grammatical ending for possessive is -yä. But Na'vi grammar also includes a concept called inalienable possession, which refers to things that are intrinsically yours and cannot be given away. What exactly qualifies as inalienable varies between languages that have such a concept, but with Na'vi it's most commonly seen with body parts. Inalienable possession can be marked with -yä, but there is a slight preference to mark it with the topical, -ri, instead. So, compare:

Peyä mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long. Pori mehinam lu ngim. His legs are long (lit. "concerning him, the legs are long")

Both of these are considered acceptable, but the -ri version is considered just slightly "better" (for lack of a better term).

You'll notice that Jake uses peyä instead of pori here; this was because the peyä structure is a more direct equivalent to the English construction, so it's pretty common for new learners to use it instead of -ri. And again it's not wrong, so it's not exactly a mistake per se. So it seemed like a reasonable "Englishy-but-still-technically-correct" habit for Jake to hang on to. And I do still think that may well have been in the case...in his earlier years 😅

soooo yeah. I will still probably be giving Jake some of those speaking habits in comics and such that take place only 2-3 years after A1, but once you get to around 10 years like this one...yeah I think it'll make more sense to just write his dialogue like that of any other fluent Na'vi-speaking character lol

[zoeydripdoria]

Teacher's Pet ୨୧

*Kny college AU

18+ minors DNI !!

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉୨♡୧﹉﹉﹉﹉﹉⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

As you turned around, your gaze immediately locked onto a man with long, blond hair, the strands framing his striking face with unruly perfection. His eyes were the most unique color you had ever seen - a vivid red with gold flecks dancing within them, almost like tiny embers trapped in ice. You couldn't help but feel mesmerized by his beauty, and for a moment, you couldn't find your voice. He smiled at your obvious awe, his lips curving into a playful smirk.

"I take it you're new here?" he asked, his voice smooth as silk. It was deep and resonant, with just the slightest hint of an accent that sent shivers down your spine.

You finally found your voice, "Y-yes, I am. My name's Y/N." You extended your hand in greeting, feeling self-conscious about your own appearance in comparison. You had always thought of yourself as plain-looking, with your hair and average features.

"Ah, a pleasure to meet you, Y/N," he said, taking your hand and giving it a firm shake. "I'm Professor Rengoku. I've only been here a few weeks, but I must say, it's been quite refreshing teaching such a lively and eager class. I hope we can work together to further your education." His smile widened, revealing a dimple in his left cheek that made your heart skip a beat.

"I-I would love to work with you, Professor Rengoku," you stammered, your cheeks flushing. You were grateful when he let go of your hand, or you might've been redder than a tomato by now. "Thank you for your help."

"Oh, don't mention it. Now, if you don't mind me asking, what class are you here for?" He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his broad chest, and tilted his head slightly to the side. The sunlight streaming through the window behind him cast his features in a warm, golden glow.

You hesitated for a moment, feeling self-conscious about admitting your lack of familiarity with the department. "Well, I'm actually not quite sure." You laughed nervously, hoping he wouldn't think you were completely clueless.

He grinned widely. "Ah, I see. Well, I teach World History I, World History II, and Eastern Cultures. Which one are you interested in?"

"Oh! Well, I'd love to take your World History II class. I think it sounds fascinating." You felt a thrill of excitement run through you at the thought of learning from someone so knowledgeable and charismatic.

"Wonderful!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I'm sure you'll love it. And if you ever need any help finding the room or navigating the campus, don't hesitate to ask. I'm always happy to help a new student." His warm smile made you feel welcome and at ease.

You smiled back, feeling grateful for his kindness. "Thank you so much, Professor Rengoku. I'm really looking forward to it."

"Excellent!" he exclaimed, his eyes shining with enthusiasm. "Oh, by the way, I have office hours every Thursday from two to four. Feel free to stop by if you ever have any questions or need some extra help." He paused, tilting his head to the side again. "Unless you'd rather not, of course. I wouldn't want to impose."

You considered his offer for a moment. On one hand, you were nervous about asking for help, but on the other, you didn't want to pass up the chance to learn from such an amazing professor. "No, no, I'd love to take advantage of that," you said, mustering up your courage. "Thank you, Professor Rengoku."

"Wonderful!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together again. "I'm sure we'll have some stimulating discussions." He paused, studying you for a moment. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should be getting to my next class. It was lovely meeting you, Y/N. I look forward to seeing you in class soon." With a final smile, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there in awe of his presence.

As you continued to stand there, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation building within you. You couldn't wait to start your first day of class with Rengoku and dive into the world of World History II. The campus was bustling with activity, and you found yourself eagerly exploring your surroundings and meeting new people.

Finally, you located the classroom building where Mr.  Rengoku's World History II class was held. The room was spacious and well-lit, with comfortable chairs arranged in a semicircle around a large wooden table. At the head of the table was a podium, and behind it hung a beautiful tapestry depicting scenes from ancient civilizations. As you took your seat, you couldn't help but feel grateful for this new opportunity and excited to begin this journey with Mr. Rengoku by your side.

The rest of the class filed in, filling the room with a buzz of conversation. You recognized a few familiar faces from the orientation sessions, but most of the students seemed to be new to you. When the clock struck eight, the door swung open and Mr. Rengoku walked in, his presence immediately commanding everyone's attention. He smiled warmly at the class before taking his seat at the podium.

"Welcome, everyone, to my World History II class!" he boomed, his voice filling the room. "I hope you're all as excited as I am to begin our journey through the fascinating world of ancient civilizations. Before we start, though, I just want to remind you of a few important things. First, my office hours are every Thursday from two to four, and I encourage you to come by if you have any questions or need extra help. Secondly, please feel free to email me anytime if you have questions or concerns about the class. And lastly, always remember to put your name on your assignments!" He paused, looking around the room with a twinkle in his eye. "Now, with that out of the way, let's begin!"

He launched into a captivating lecture on the rise and fall of the Roman Empire, weaving together stories of brave emperors, cunning politicians, and tragic heroes. You found yourself hanging on his every word, taking notes frantically but not wanting to miss a single detail. As the class progressed, you noticed that Mr. Rengoku had a talent for making even the most complex historical concepts accessible and engaging. You couldn't help but feel grateful that you had chosen his class.

At the end of the hour, the bell rang, signaling the end of the first class period. As students began to file out of the room, you stayed behind, eager to speak with Mr. Rengoku. You approached him hesitantly, not wanting to seem overly eager or annoying. "Professor Rengoku," you began, "I just wanted to thank you again for being so welcoming and for making the class so interesting. I'm really looking forward to learning more from you."

He smiled warmly down at you. "Oh, Y/N, you're quite welcome. I'm just happy to share my passion for history with such an eager audience. If you ever have any questions or need help, don't hesitate to ask. And remember, my office hours are every Thursday from two to four." With a wink, he added, "I'll expect to see you there."

Your cheeks flushed at his comment, and you found yourself suddenly more self-conscious. "I-I will," you stammered, nodding quickly before hurrying out of the room. As you made your way to your next class, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness about your newfound connection with Mr. Rengoku. You hoped that you could maintain his interest and confidence in your abilities throughout the rest of the semester.

The rest of your day flew by in a blur of lectures and notes. You tried your best to focus on the material, but your mind kept drifting back to Mr  Rengoku and his class. You found yourself looking forward to Thursday afternoons, not just because of his office hours, but because you genuinely enjoyed spending time with him.

As the weeks passed, you began to feel more and more comfortable in his presence. You started contributing more in class discussions and felt confident enough to approach him with questions after lecture. He always took the time to engage with you and offer guidance, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for his support.

The more you learned from him, the more you realized just how passionate he was about his subject. His lectures were no longer just recitations of facts; they were vivid storytelling sessions that brought ancient civilizations to life. You began to understand why so many students flocked to his classes and why he had such a reputation as one of the best professors at the university.

One particularly cold afternoon, as you were leaving campus after a late-afternoon class, you noticed Mr. Rengoku standing outside of his office, wrapped in a thick scarf and shivering.

 "Professor!" you exclaimed, hurrying over to him. "Are you all right? You don't look so good."

He smiled warmly at you. 

"Oh, Y/N, thank you for your concern. I'm just feeling a bit under the weather today. But don't worry, I'll be fine. Why don't you get to your car and head home? You must be cold too."

You hesitated for a moment, but something inside you urged you to stay. "I-I could give you a ride home if you'd like," you offered timidly. "I'm not in a rush, and it's on my way."

His eyes lit up at your offer, and he smiled gratefully. "That would be very kind of you, Y/N. I would appreciate that very much." Together, you made your way to your car, and as you drove through the quiet streets of the campus, you found yourself chatting with him about your favorite historical novels and movies. It was a pleasant, easy conversation, and you felt a sense of closeness with him that you hadn't experienced with anyone else in a long time.

When you finally pulled up to his house, he insisted on paying you for the gas. You protested, but he wouldn't hear of it. "No, no," he said, handing you a crisp twenty-dollar bill. "You've done enough for me today. I hope you'll accept this as a small token of my gratitude."

You took the money, feeling both touched and a little embarrassed. "Thank you, Professor Rengoku," you said quietly. "It was really nothing."

He smiled gently at you. "Oh, Y/N, you're far too kind. But I do appreciate your kindness. I hope you know that I consider it a privilege to have you in my class. Now, go home and get some rest. You've earned it."

With one final smile, he closed the car door and waved goodbye. As you drove away, you couldn't help but feel a warm glow in your chest. It had been an unexpected turn of events, but you were glad that you had been there for him when he needed someone. And you couldn't help but hope that he felt the same way about you.

As the days went by, your relationship with Mr. Rengoku only grew stronger. You continued to excel in his class, and he continued to shower you with praise and encouragement. Sometimes, after class, he would invite you to join him for coffee or tea, and you would spend hours discussing history and your shared interests.

One afternoon, as you were leaving campus, you noticed a flyer on a bulletin board advertising a local museum's upcoming exhibit on ancient Egypt. Intrigued, you grabbed the flyer and tucked it into your bag, intending to ask Mr. Rengoku about it later. That night, you texted him, asking if he would like to go to the exhibit with you. He replied immediately, expressing his excitement and gratitude for the invitation.

The day of the exhibit arrived, and you met up with Mr. Rengoku outside the museum. He looked dashing in a dark suit and tie, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter in your stomach when you saw him. As you walked inside, you felt a sense of anticipation building inside you. The exhibit was spectacular, with detailed displays of artifacts and informative placards that brought ancient Egypt to life. You and Mr. Rengoku spent hours exploring the exhibit, engaging in deep discussions about the significance of each artifact and the culture that had created it.

Afterwards, you decided to grab lunch at a nearby cafe. As you ate, you couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment and peace. You realized that you had never felt this way with anyone else before, and you knew that this feeling was something special. "Y/N," Mr. Rengoku began, his voice soft and earnest, "I want to thank you for inviting me today. This exhibit was truly wonderful, and I'm so glad I got to share it with you."

You looked up at him, feeling a blush creep into your cheeks. "Thank you, Professor," you said softly. "I'm glad you enjoyed it too. It means a lot to me that we could share this experience together."

As you finished your lunch, you couldn't help but wonder where this newfound connection was leading. You knew that he was your professor, and that there were certain boundaries that needed to be respected, but you also couldn't deny the intense feelings you had for him. You found yourself fantasizing about what it would be like to be with him outside of the classroom, outside of the museum.

When the check came, you reached for your wallet, intending to pay for your own meal as you always did. But before you could even pull out your money, Mr. Rengoku had already grabbed his credit card and left a generous tip. "Y/N," he said gently, "please let me treat you today. You've done so much for me already. It's the least I can do."

His words made you feel warm inside. You knew that you had formed a special bond with him, but hearing him say it out loud made it all seem so real. You couldn't help but feel grateful for his kindness and his friendship. As you left the cafe, hand in hand, you knew that your life was about to change in ways you never could have imagined.

Over the next few weeks, your relationship with Mr. Rengoku deepened. You continued to excel in his class, and he continued to praise your work, but now there was an added layer of intimacy to your interactions. You found yourself spending more and more time together, exploring the city and sharing your favorite experiences. You talked about your hopes and dreams, your fears and insecurities, and it felt as though you could discuss anything with him. Despite the risks, you couldn't deny the happiness you felt when you were with Rengoku. 

As the weeks turned into months, you found yourself falling deeper in love with Mr. Rengoku. You continued to excel in his class, but now your focus shifted from just getting good grades to impressing him in every way possible. You started to wear your hair down more often, and you began to experiment with more daring outfits. You felt confident and beautiful when you were around him, and it showed.

One night, as you were walking home from a late-night study session at the museum, Mr. Rengoku took your hand in his and led you to a quiet bench overlooking the city. The moon was full, casting a warm glow over everything. He turned to face you, his eyes burning with desire. "Y/n," he whispered, "I can't keep these feelings inside any longer. I want to be with you, truly be with you. Will you let me?"

Your heart raced as you stared into his eyes. You knew that this was the moment you'd been waiting for, the moment you'd been dreaming of since the first day you met. You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his, feeling the warmth of his skin, the softness of his lips. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer, as if he could never let go.

Time seemed to stand still as you kissed, lost in the moment. You could feel the tension building between you, and with each passing second, it grew more and more intense. Finally, you broke apart, gasping for air. "Mr. Rengoku," you whispered, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. "I want this too."

He smiled at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "Then it's yours," he said, before leaning in to kiss you again. His lips were soft and warm against yours, and you could feel the strength of his arms as they held you close. You moaned into his mouth, feeling a shiver run down your spine.

As you continued to kiss, he began to explore your body with his hands, tracing gentle circles around your nipples, teasing them until they hardened. You arched your back, pressing your chest against his, wanting more. He reached down, unbuttoning your blouse slowly, revealing your lace bra beneath. He ran his fingers along the delicate fabric, teasing your nipples until they were hard and erect.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as he continued to touch you, his hands moving lower, over your hips, to your skirt. With a gentle tug, he pulled it up, revealing your black lace underwear. You felt his breath against your thigh, and you shuddered with desire. He looked up at you, his eyes dark and intense, and you knew that he could see the need in your eyes.

He leaned in, kissing you again, as his fingers traced a path down to your center. You gasped, arching your back further, pressing your wetness against his fingers. He circled your clit, teasing it mercilessly, until you were moaning his name. Finally, he pushed two fingers inside you, filling you with his touch. You cried out, feeling overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through your body.

As he continued to thrust his fingers in and out of you, you wrapped your legs around his hips, urging him to go deeper. You could feel the heat building between you, the need growing stronger with every passing second. You knew that this was it, that you were finally with him, truly with him.

 "I want you."

He pulled back, looking down at you with eyes filled with desire. "Are you sure, my dear?" he asked, his voice hoarse with lust. "Because once I take you, I won't be able to stop."

You nodded, biting your lip, the words caught in your throat. "I want this," you managed to whisper. "I want you."

He smiled, his fingers finding your clit once more, rubbing it gently before pushing inside you.

 "Then take it," he growled, thrusting his hips forward. 

You cried out, feeling the weight of him as he filled you completely. He began to move, his rhythm steady and sure, driving you wild.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, arching your back as he took you harder and faster. The sensations were overwhelming, the pleasure coursing through you like a raging river. You felt your body trembling on the edge, the release building inside you.

" Ren-," you gasped, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your heart. "I'm close."

He groaned, his thrusts becoming more urgent. "Then come for me, my dear," he whispered, kissing you tenderly. And with those words, you felt yourself falling, plummeting over the edge, as your body was wracked by an intense, shuddering orgasm. Your muscles clenched tight around him, and he followed you over the edge, crying out your name as he spilled his release deep inside you. 

As your passion reached its peak, he arched his back, pressing you deeper into the wall, and you then felt the first wave of release wash over you, followed by another, and another. Your body convulsed in his grip, and you let out a hoarse cry into the night, as your essence spilled forth, mingling with his on the cool cobblestones below.

You collapsed against him, your heart still racing as you felt the aftershocks of pleasure wash over you. He held you close, kissing your neck, your cheek, your lips, as you both caught your breath. You were finally together, truly together, and it felt like everything you'd ever wanted.

He pulled away, looking down at you with a mix of tenderness and desire. "My dear, that was... beyond anything I could have imagined." His fingers traced lazy circles on your stomach, making you shiver. 

As the last tremors subsided, he leaned in, kissing you softly on the lips. "There's more where that came from," Mr. Rengoku whispered, his breath hot sending shivers down your spine. 

 "Come with me." And with that, he took your hand and led you deeper to his apartment complex, toward a world of pleasure and desire that you had only ever dreamed of.

The air inside was thick with anticipation as he guided you through the stairs and finally to his apartment. 

Finally, he led you into his dimly lit room, the walls adorned with beautiful wall art, and billowing curtains. In the center of his room stood a large, four-poster bed. So dimly lit, casting shadows that danced across the walls and ceiling.

"This is where we belong," he said, his voice a sultry purr. "This is where we can be free, and explore our desires without judgment." With that, Mr. Rengoku turned to face me, his eyes burning with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. He reached out, running his fingers through your hair, before trailing them down your chest, teasing at the buttons of your shirt.

Your heart raced as you watched him, helplessly drawn to his touch. You wanted nothing more than to feel his skin against yours once again, to lose yourself in the heat of the moment. As he undressed you, his hands gliding over your body with a familiarity that bordered on intimacy, you couldn't help but wonder how long this night would last, and if you'd ever be able to go back to the way things were before.

But for now, you were content to let yourself be swept away by his touch, his words, his presence. He climbed onto the bed, purring invitingly, and you followed, unable to resist the pull of his gaze. As you lay beside him, you felt a sense of peace wash over you, knowing that this was where you belonged, with him, in this world of passion and desire.

And as he kissed you again, his lips soft and demanding, you gave yourself over to the moment, surrendering to the rapture that only he could provide.

The bed shifted beneath you as he moved against you, your bodies intertwined like two dancers in a sensual waltz. His hands roamed freely, exploring every inch of your skin, leaving trails of heat in his wake. He nipped at your earlobe, sending shivers down your spine, and whispered words that made your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.

You could feel the tension building within you, the need for release growing more insistent with each passing moment. As he guided your hands to hid hips, urging you on, you pressed forward, eager to please him, to make him feel the same intense pleasure he had given to you.

The bed creaked beneath you, the blanket beneath you soft and inviting as he arched his back, pushing your hips up to meet yous. His breath came faster, shallower, as his fingers dug into your shoulders, urging you on.

With a growl of satisfaction, he threw his head back, his eyes closed tightly as he surrendered to the sensation. "Yes," he moaned, his voice rugged and raw. "That's it..."

You felt your own release building, threatening to overwhelm you. You couldn't help but arch into him, meeting his movements with equal fervor. "I-I'm close," you managed to say between gasps for air.

He opened his eyes, meeting yours, and in that moment, you knew he wanted you to stay with him. He wanted this night to go on forever. "Stay with me," he whispered, his voice soft and gentle, despite the urgency in his touch. "Don't let go."

You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands slip through your fingers like water. His skin was warm and smooth, and you could feel the muscles in his back tensing as he arched into your touch. He moaned, a deep, throaty sound that sent shivers down your spine.

And as he came apart beneath you, his body shuddering with pleasure, you felt your own release wash over you, hot and powerful. Your breathing slowed, becoming shallow and ragged as you clung to each other, your bodies still tangled together on the bed.

The silence that fell between you was deafening, but it was a silence that felt right, felt intimate. It was as if you had shared something sacred, something that bound you together now in a way that went beyond words or understanding.

Finally, he shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to look up at me. His gaze was steady and intense, as if he were trying to imprint every detail of your face onto his memory. "Will you stay?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Will you stay with me?"

You lay there, your heart still racing, your body tingling with the afterglow of your lovemaking. His fingers traced gentle circles on your back, his touch soothing and comforting. 

The air in the room seemed to shimmer with a sense of peace, of contentment, and you couldn't help but wonder how you would ever be able to go back to the way things were before. Would you try to forget this night, this connection you'd shared? Or would you find a way to carry it with you, like a secret treasure, into the chaos of your everyday lives?

You knew that the answer to that question would depend on him, on you, and on the strange, inexplicable bond that seemed to exist between you. For now, all that mattered was this moment, the warmth of his skin against yours, and the feeling of being completely and utterly known and accepted, just as you were.

“Yes, I'll stay with you” you uttered.

As you drifted off to sleep, his soft breaths and the gentle rise and fall of his chest lulling you into a deep, dreamless slumber, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope, of possibility. Perhaps, somehow, you would find a way to make this work, to make your lives together as beautiful and as meaningful as this one perfect night.

[shelaghdette]

the mischaracterisation of shelagh turner

this post will be a bit of a ramble, and i promise im not directly attacking any one person or group! i've just seen a few things over the course of my involvement with the fandom that trouble me a bit.

as a disclaimer: i LOVE shelagh intensely. she's perhaps my favourite fictional character in ANY piece of media. of course i have my own fixed opinions, so this makes me inherently biased. take whatever i say with a pinch of salt, im just an internet lesbian.

damselification

there's a common take in the fandom that shelagh left the order just for patrick. i'd like to argue this isnt true. patrick was a massive part of her reason, and i'd even agree that falling for him gave her the final push, but we have evidence to suggest she was considering it LONG before we first saw the turnadette plot.

shelagh wanted to hang out with the GIRLS. shelagh saw jenny, trixie and cynthia's freedom and she wanted it. in the beginning, it had very little to do with a man. when she takes her wimple off and stands in front of the mirror, shes trying to find herself.

shelagh had a desire to be a free woman. being in love with patrick was a part of it, but not the whole picture.

even when she did choose to be with patrick, she made those decisions all on her own. she didn't read the letters he sent her until she was already certain of her choice. she wasn't going to be begged, and she wasn't going to beg him, either. shelagh would have left the order whether patrick really wanted to be with her or not.

in fics, shelagh is often portrayed as a helpless baby who needed patrick to save her from her indecision paralysis. i don't think this is true.

stupification (sex mention ahead!)

shelagh is a MIDWIFE. not only that, she's confirmed to be the most accomplished and talented in her field at nonnatus house. i would argue her intelligence and competence in her job is equal to, if not greater, than her husband's. she has an extensive knowledge of the female anatomy. she's studied it for years. she works with it every single day.

SO PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE SHELAGH TURNER WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT A BLOODY CLITORIS IS! the amount of smut fics ive read that have been instantly ruined by patrick mansplaining her own anatomy to her is not ridiculously high, but it isnt zero either. and whenever it happens, it does my head in. i'm not saying shelagh's going to leave the order and immediately become an absolute sex goddess, that's also unrealistic. but dear god, she knows what her own bits are called. it's just another way she's infantilized and turned into a weak little angel baby who patrick has to smother and save.

on a less nsfw note, i just feel like some fics don't give shelagh's intelligence the credit it's due. it's hard to fully explain without giving examples (which i don't want to do bc i feel like that's unfair and really mean), but in general, patrick just hand-holds her a lot and explains basic things she'd have no trouble understanding on her own. girly is CLEVER. let her be clever.

[anincompletelist]

get to know me tag! :D

OKAY @bigassbowlingballhead I am combining your tag with the ones from @littlemisskittentoes and @read-and-write- even though those were SO LONG AGO NOW but I realized I haven't ever really posted much about myself on here (unless you've followed me over from @soldouthaz ) sooooo HERE IS THAT? <3 thanks for the tags friends I loved reading about y'all!

First Set

Last Song: JAPANESE WHISKEY by Ruel

Last Film: No Hard Feelings jshdkjshd

Currently Reading:

the books sitting beside my laptop right now are:

- War of the Foxes / Richard Siken - Letters to Father / Franz Kafka - Time is a Mother / Ocean Vuong - On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous / Ocean Vuong - Devotions / Mary Oliver - The Cinnamon Peeler / Michael Ondaatje - Little Weirds / Jenny Slate

and fic-wise:

- I am hoping to finish the newest chapter of a sea of hope by acastle tonight - I just read A Thing of Beauty by @orchidscript last night (was wonderful!) - and I just compiled a list of all my January favorites here !

Currently Watching: The Bear is the next one up on my watch list if I ever manage to get around to it! love ayo so much!

Currently Consuming: a large diet coke from sonic skjhdkshd my beloved <3

Currently Craving: a cinnamon roll?

Three ships:

Firstprince

Sterek

I used to write Larry so I guess that counts? skjdhsdjkh

First Ship: oh gosh, I think sterek, but also technically Eddie and Loren from a show called Hollywood Heights when I was in middle school skjdhkjshd

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Second Set

Were You Named After Anyone?

yes! the story of Sarah in the Old Testament of the Bible! she was described as faithful, loving, caring, stubborn (ha), and loyal, and also ties into my adoption story :)

When Was The Last Time You Cried?

oh gosh, several days ago, I think? it was my birthday skhdkjshd (no further explanation needed)

Do You Have Kids?

I do not, although I am the certified and confirmed 'Mom Friend'

What Sport Do/Have You You Played?

no <3

Do You Use Sarcasm?

not typically unless it's with someone I am very comfortable with. I work in a lot of mental health conscious areas and am studying to be a therapist so I try not to use any type of humor that could be negatively interpreted!

What's The First Thing You Notice About Other People?

usually body language! I'd say I pick up on energy fairly well, so that too, if applicable.

What's Your Eye Color?

blue! (surprise I am Henry)

Scary Movies or Happy Endings?

cannot watch scary movies, I have far too much anxiety in general to have a need to induce it intentionally jshdkjhs. it doesn't have to be a happy ending though, so long as the theme/lessons are well done. I adore digging into films and picking apart all of the layers and symbolism, so anything with some emotional weight is right up my alley! but I enjoy a bit of everything :)

Any Talents?

I'm a photographer both as a job and as a hobby, and I work part time as a makeup artist as well! I enjoy writing in my free time (obviously) and I like painting and drawing, although I definitely wouldn't consider myself very talented in those areas skjdhksd. honestly anything creative I will try and probably enjoy!

Where Where You Born?

Texas (I am Alex actually)

What Are Your Hobbies?

I touched on it earlier but photography, makeup, reading/writing, anything creative and anything psych related pretty much!

Do You Have Any Pets?

I have three! all dogs, two chihuahuas and a dachshund :)

How Tall Are You?

5'5? (I have been telling people my entire life I'm 5'7 and at my last doctor's visit they informed me that I was a liar!)

Favorite Subject in School?

english and psych!

Dream Job?

any place I can help people. I would love to be involved in a cause larger than myself while also getting to do something I'm passionate about, so anything from an english teacher to an editor to a therapist to volunteer work!

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open tag to anyone who would like to share! <3

xx

[meredoubt]

I really sat with the final choice of Veilguard.

Initially I thought I'd fight him, easily. I knew it wouldn't be trickery for sure, but I was leaning towards fight, for much of the game.

But the more I thought about Dirge's journey, the more that didn't feel...right. He, the individual, the person, hated Fen'harel. He had to, I think, they were diametrically opposed. Oil and water.

It's not about him, though. It's about the view he'd take, the measure, the choice he'd weigh. And Dirge's role as some shade of death.

I'm leaning into my vocation here, or rather, the vocation I am currently studying to be a part of: deathcare. It's early days yet, so, grain of salt. I have a lot of learning and growing to do. But by necessity, it makes you take a step back from your own emotions on individual people. From if they were good, evil. These are not useful qualifiers. They cannot be harmed by your good or bad opinion anymore. Your hate means nothing, your sorrow. They are gone. They are free of it all. Returned, to eventually be whatever those atoms will be next.

They lived. That is...a miracle. In some small way, each being, each cell that has ever been has allowed a chance for an unknowing universe to comprehend some infinitesimal fraction of the whole, however briefly. That has come to an end. But how rare and fortunate. Even the meanest, smallest, pettiest thing experienced some version of...the only holy thing, as far as I feel. I know there are other opinions on it. But that's my own.

Dirge, through his brutal work, through his memories of Falon'din, through Emmrich, understands this, in some way. He wouldn't ever say it. But he knows it, feels it, in the same way you might instinctively know anything. He has known death since a young age and has plenty of time to consider his role in it, even as it shifted and changed.

He hated Fen'harel. But the Evanuris are done, in their current forms, at least. Their influence will remain. The Veil is secure, the Fade intact, the living world safe. The fragment within him purrs, sated to some extant, content. It has been changed by being in mortal form, tempered by elven beliefs about the role of Falon'din. The title of the game is apt. He has guarded what mattered most to him. Protected the world of the living and spirits. Nature, the balance. The order, is safe.

So at the moment when he knows whatever happens next, Solas will secure the Veil in one way or another...the hatred drains out of him. He's exhausted. The Dread Wolf is exhausted. This fight has been going on for longer than he or his body remembers, and he has won. But he is...so tired. And sad. And...hopeful, for the living. More hopeful than he is angry.

And so i think he relents. Dirge sees himself as sheparding the Dread Wolf along to whatever his next path is. G-d of change and transformation, after all, no matter how much he chafes under it. Emmrich, and Mirele (Lavellan), and Morrigan convinced him. Emmrich's argument that, as a spirit, Fen'harel needed to be urged to his nature, ironically probably did the same thing to Dirge, to the fragment. It soothed away some of the mortal spite, gave him...perspective.

I think to care for the dead, you must hold love for the living and for history. And the Evanuris are, will be, history. This is the passing of more than the Dread Wolf. You don't always love people, necessarily-there are many i dislike-and yet...I care. Care and love are different things.

I think everyone deserves some one who does, at the end. Who can take them in at their worst and still say, okay. You have been known, in a world that you walked, that made you feel small or unimportant. You made good, or bad, choices. And even now, when it is no longer a world you are aware of, or can affect...I care. I care that you lived. I care that you died. I acknowledge that you existed and grappled with that, however that looked. And now, you have laid that responsibility down. But someone keeps it, someone remembers you did.

So, he doesn't know what Lavellan and Solas' journey looks like. But he holds the endings of things, the vigil. He ushers and beckons, without judgement. It is where all things go.

Anyway, I enjoyed the game very much. It seems many had a different experience, different playthroughs. Playing my specific character, and never feeling beholden to canon, assuredly effects my takeaway. That's okay. I solidly enjoyed it, and it's fine if others did not.

Can't wait to pick up Theron Thorne and Izanagi Ingellvar (I have such plans for them both). Dirge, I admit, is still my special guy. He lives rent free in my head, as they say.

[learningsanctum]

October 04, 2024

Studying constitucional law.

Back in February I had started this blog with the intentions of sharing my progress on the new and variated faculty subjects I was going to undertake in this new year. After all, I was finally at the higher education and things had to be different now, right? I wouldn't be barely passing subjects just like I did back in high school, would I?

Well, yes. The first semester was a fiasco of me barely passing and I had to retake most of my exams so I could score just enough not to have to take the subject again. It was disappointing but I didn't think much of it because in my heart and mind I had this hope and idea of doing things differently at the higher education system. I was going to make it right.

Then the new semester started and I was still not studying and sleeping on my free time, tired from working from 07am to 02pm and then going to classes from 07pm to 10pm. Still, I have a gap between 02pm and 07pm I could have been using and had planned various time to use it... only to end up sleeping the whole afternoon.

Please, do understand, I'm not the most health person in the world, much on the contrary, going to the GYM is a habit I have been postponing with the same excuse I had to studying "I have so little time and I am so exhausted", but I realized I had to start creating new habits if I wanted to become a healthy person.

A word to the wise I'd like to share before anyone thinks I suddenly came up with strength and studied all my subjects at once, I didn't. I started therapy about three months ago and you wouldn't believe how the mere fact of knowing I have one hour at week just to talk about myself to someone is relieving. Specially since I'm a very introverted person on general and really dislike bothering my friends with my problems. Therapy helped me to rescue myself from the dangerous trap I was setting up around myself; I was able to identify and actually think about me be going about life and days in a survival mode. I was so deep into surviving and not thinking that somewhere amongst the trenches I lost the sense of what I really wanted in life.

What do I want? That's what I had to stop to ponder about. Did I even remember? It was surprising to see that yes, I definitely remembered what I wanted.

My biggest dream was to go to study abroad. I wanted Cambridge and Oxford. Books, libraries, coffees and burying myself in study for hours a day.

Then came the next, most terrifying question: how could I achieve it? I used to be a golden child, know-it-all, teacher's pet and a goddamn academic weapon! And I had long fallen from grace. I started slacking at seventh grade when I swapped the private hard and thriven education system for the basic public one. I was a star in the public system because everything they were learning I had learnt already in primary. it, of course, came to bite my ass in high school since I assumed I didn't need to study anymore. And I know damn well that if I want a Russell Group university I will have to gain an scholarship. My country's money is worth nothing near the big European pounds.

All things considered I started searching about going to Oxford. Months of research and weeks trying and asking even AI about scholarships available for me to pass to university. Turns out only "Reach Oxford" is available in my country. And tons of people made sure to throw it at my face and say Brazilian acceptance rates in this scholarship were almost inexistent. I didn't give up. I have become set on my goals already.

Then I did what all girls wanting to bounce back into academic life do: I made a mood board, applied to a higher position then the one that I was (I passed!) and started to change my mindset. Day by day. Month by month. A long and torturous process that took a tool on me but was necessary. I had lots of setbacks and just this week I discovered the process to enter Nottingham university through foundation year is easy (if I get the desired grades) since it's an automatic progression pathway, but I have to pay a money that I don't have and believe in my current situation I won't be able to make anytime soon. Still I haven't given up.

Today, at my lunch at work - and it's important to me to talk about my work because while some people have the privilege to sit and study eight hours per day, here in my country, most low class people have to work to study and this ends up in a destructive exhaustion since classes are at night and work usually takes up all the morning and afternoon leaving almost no time to study - I had time to research more and I decided to prepare myself to study once I got home.

I though that since today I didn't have any classes because it's an election day and my faculty will serve as voting spot I would study the much I could for the subject I supposedly should be having today. I decided that even if I can't take IGCSEs and A-levels now because I'm very short on money then I would start studying for what I have in hands, which is my law faculty at my hometown. it's all I have so I might as well be my hometown's good before I become Oxford good.

All of this to say that I am happy to inform that today I studied one whole hour the subject of constitutional law and am able to answer few - even though more simple - questions about the subject. It means my therapy is paying off and it means that my hard work in changing my mindset is giving me the expected result, not only accepting that I might not have what I want now but also motivating myself to use the resources I have to make the best out of my situation. This might as well prepare me for when I finally am able to sit through hours at a library at Oxford to write a paper, no? ;)

And from this, if you have read this far, I would like to say that yeah... maybe you can't study like that one girl from the internet who doesn't do anything but studying... but sometimes half an hour is all you need to keep yourself motivated and to... honestly? Change your whole damn mindset.

[yuseirra]

i lurk on your profile sometimes to check whether you gave up on kamiai or not…

Hello anon~

HUH??? WHY??? Does it seem like I will or would? but nothing has really happened yet really... if you just consider what the guy's saying, the stuff he's said only reflects he's loved Ai thus far. If that gets contradicted, then maybe? but it didn't happen just yet. I drew something new this morning too..

I wouldn't draw something I've gave up on and talk about it every single day, YES I admit that this comic is making me very tense and I may need a break from reading it depending on how it goes the next few chapters because I feel like I'm getting overly affected by it... But I think things would be determined and become cleared up one way or the other within the span of 5~6 chapters at most. I honestly really want them to just get it over within 1 or 2 because I feel the answer's already there, and it doesn't need to be dragged on so much.

Do you want me to give up? That's not what this ask is implying, right?; Hopefully not...sorry for mentioning this but this makes me feel protective! ;v;) ack, honestly, I feel like at this point, I drew them the most out of anyone who's out there! That takes dedication. It takes my free time to draw and think about things. I could have spent my time doing something else, but I've been using it to draw them. I think that should say something about how I feel towards this ship.

If you'd like me to draw more, it would really help me if you can support me~ I get lonely...I've been very happy seeing the same people enjoying my works as of lately, they feel like comrades fighting this battle together and it's been giving me support. If you like what I've been doing, I'd love it to be conveyed- I promise, I've been drawing for a very long time at this point but I've never taken any of the positivity I received for granted. It always feels new, and I always get very excited over it. I'm shy too, so I understand if you can't do that, but likes and reblogs help.

Also, I don't feel like I've written anything so particular in my descriptions;; So I don't think it'll show so much whether if I've given up on something so much just from seeing what's there..!

My love and passion for something don't die out so easily. To think someone would feel I'd give up on something before I blatantly have stated it is sad!;;;After all I've drawn and said!! Does my passion for this feel that light? Love is a heavy thing!

If anything, I hope things turn out well. I would love this story if they really are the way I've been portraying them, and that idea I have didn't stem just out of my wishful thinking, I believe in it after having studied the source material.

Speaking of which, if I end up drawing things for other fandoms (I really want to draw some fanarts for persona too;;;) that doesn't mean my heart's left this one fandom. Same goes for every fandom I'm in. Just saying this in advance because I want to draw something persona 3 as well from playing the new DLC.

Again!! this got chatty!! but if you want me to keep drawing something, supporting it WILL really help me! That helps me immensely! If you like what I do, just lurking will not ignite my passion because your feelings will not reach me! Will you tell me how much you love and enjoy it with me? That WILL lead me to draw more with a smile, if it's something I'm currently fixated on! If you like what I've did, please tell me~ I will pamper you! I will reciprocate it and give high fives!

I think I will win regarding this, so I'm going to hold out~ if you like them, do stick with me because if it does, I can provide!!

[aikoiya]

Plant Rights Lunatics

OmG... I just... my head hurts just thinking about this...

I just heard that there are actual studies out there... where people are trying to convince us... that plants feel pain & that they are intelligent & that we shouldn't eat them...

...

...

What does that mean for vegans? What? They just shouldn't eat at all? W-! What do these idiots suggest we do????

I...

I can literally feel myself losing braincells...

I just... why not just say that you want humanity to die & get it over with if you're gonna go this far? Like, give up the damn game & just admit that you're anti-human!

This is basically what not having balance in one's beliefs looks like. It's like how feminism these days is just being anti-man. Now being cruelty free is anti-human & this just makes me so upset!

I just... there should be a limit to the desire to reduce pain! A limit to the amount of 'compassion' that one has. Life is pain! You can't live your life without it!

In order for something to live, something ELSE must DIE!! That's how life WORKS!

These people even made suggestions like only eating fruits that have fallen off the plant & what basically amounts to roadkill!!

Apparently, only eating food that's fallen off the vine is a specific type of Fruitarianism that doesn't even seem to have a name. A decent name might be "fallen fruitarianism." Also, there are vegans that only eat roadkill & they're evidently called roadkill vegans. I haven't found a name for when the 2 are combined, but I imagine it's something like "roadkill fruitarianism" or "forager veganism" or whatever. Or you can just call them dumbasses with death wishes!

Either way, these guys are basically saying that we should go back to being foragers!!

From what I can tell, a fruitarian diet is absolutely not healthy. It could even send you to the hospital!

I wonder how Sam Manson & Damian Wayne would react to this information...

I wonder how any vegan character would react!

Either way, I could care less because I'm gonna eat like a sane human being.

Like... I'd kind of like to see these characters try. Initially, they start with fallen fruitarianism but end up slowly growing weaker & weaker over time because they would no longer be able to take nutritional supplements.

Those things are apparently often made from soy proteins & dairy cultures, so definitely not allowed.

In order to live, they'd need to learn to be okay with the supposed suffering of plants. But then, in such a case, why not eat meat? Don't animals suffer just like plants apparently do? So, why not eat them too? Is the suffering of plants somehow less than that of animals?

And what about animals? Aren't they all just as monstrous as people who choose to eat meat & plantlife that hasn't fallen from the vine? Because, for supposedly intelligent beings, they certainly don't seem to care about the pain they bring.

Like, don't get me wrong, eat what you want, but acknowledge that your choices come with consequences. Don't bring this moralistic bs into it.

Here's the thing. I don't give a flying frickadoo if plants do feel pain. If it's between me or the plant, I'm choosing to save myself. Same with animals!

Even still, plants don't have nerves or pain centers & thus even if they did feel some sort of 'distress,' it wouldn't equate to the same sort of pain that we feel.

Like, of course, they're gonna react to the possibility of cessation. That's how survival works. It's why some plants are poisonous. It's a defense mechanism. No organic life wants to die, but just because it reacts to such things doesn't mean its sentient or sapient. Let alone intelligent.

If all it takes is a desire to live to be equal in value to humanity, then wouldn't antibacterial medicines, soaps, & hand sanitizers be considered chemical warfare?

Also, what about parasites like ringworms? They're alive. Shouldn't that make them just as precious as any other animal? Should we just let them continue to live inside of us when we get them? What about when our pets get worms or fleas? What makes a dog more valuable than them?

What about mushrooms? Shouldn't we protect the poor black mold under our floorboards that just wanted to find a nice moist place to rest even if it literally kills us?

These pussies just need to get a fucking grip.

Actually... I do wonder how animal rights activists react when their pets get fleas or worms. Or when they themselves get parasites...

Like, what do they do? Does it just not count in those situations?

Isn't bacteria alive?

You can't say that "all life matters & it should all be preserved" without taking these things into account.

[kart0]

I found a hack to start eating again !!! Me fanboying over food ?

Ok I'm super super excited about this. This is daniyuu lore guys it's very serious: there was a time when I seriously considered studying gastronomy and pursuing this career. I didn't want to have a restaurant or be a chef, I really really just wanted to learn more techniques and improve my abilities. But then I thought "hell no id rather DIE than make this my life. I love cooking and baking and this is my fucking hobbyyyyy !!!!" And then I chose arts lol

As my previous update, and some other posts, I mentioned having an eating disorder ! And I think I've rationalized enough to overcome it ? Like bro I honestly feel like a superhero rn no joke. Disclaimer: this is what works FOR ME. I'm not saying this will work for everyone who's struggling with an ED. This is MY own experience !

Ok so I have trouble with consistent eating, and trying new things. ARFID: avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.

My current safe food is basically: cauliflower, neoguri/shin ramyun, and monster energy drinks. And popcorn.

I know, I KNOW, those aren't super healthy or...nutritious, BUT IN MY DEFENSE: eating anything is better than not eating at all !

Anyways, after being kinda sad that I miss food, and miss feeling happy when eating, and miss cooking, I've finally come to terms that: I can guarantee I will eat, if I cook my meal. Sounds very basic because it is ! If I am the one cooking, I'm the one who has control over EVERYTHING. I can choose my seasonings, my ingredients, my own method. I know what's in there, I know what I will be having, and I will be having fun ! I will associate food with my happiness because I will be happy cuz I love cooking !

I really really miss cooking and since I'm on my uni break my mom and sister have been asking me to cook more meals, and I've been doing that. And enjoying so much !

I feel so happy when all my family praise my food. I really really do think, hmmm, I did a great job.

And I'm not gonna lie, I'm a very good cook lol

Last year I was responsible for picking and making our Christmas AND New Years menu. I carefully planned three meals a day for a week, and administrated my family to help me out. like a real chef would do ! By the way, my family members have a lot of restrictions: sister mom and aunt: lactose intolerant; dad, other aunt: can't have too much salt; mom and aunt: gluten free; me: literally the pickiest eater ever !

And every time, literally no joke, I would ask how did they enjoy my meal ( I mostly did all the cooking while they would prep the ingredients ) and they would ALWAYS say it was awesome and good and most importantly, tasty. I felt this rush of emotions and I'd always think hm, this was worth it. I'd be tired my legs would be sore but my tummy would be full and I'd be happy. It was worth it.

Then I got very bad and totally stopped eating, I wanted to lose weight and I did, I lost a LOT of weight but I also felt so bad and I literally was very close to passing out all the time.

I cut off some foods specially meats, idk they just.. started grossing me out. I always hated pork so that was never an issue ( no I don't like bacon ) , and I was already a picky eater and would only eat some type of meats and cuts ( I hate hate hate cartilages, skins, fat lol ) but then I just. Stopped eating red meat, and then I got even more restricted from eating chicken ( chicken breast is the safest cut and meat for me ) and I'm not the biggest fan of seafood.

Anyways, I had to take blood samples and well I now have iron deficiency 🥴

Got sidetracked I'm sorry but I really really like talking about this ? Since it's like...my hobby I guess. Ok so I stopped cooking cuz it was too much work and effort and I wouldn't even eat it in the end. So I just, stopped.

My birthday is coming up tho, and my sister wanted us to go to this restaurant that I've been wanting to go for AGES !!!!! ( More daniyuu lore: I love cooking shows specially Masterchef ) And there's this restaurant from a Masterchef winner and I wanted to try her food for sooooo long. But when my sister told me this I actually got very, very sad. I thought, it'd be a waste of money and time. I won't eat anything. Not only do I rarely eat, but when I do, I tend to eat very small portions. And I thought DANG IT this would be SUCH a waste of opportunity.

And then, my secret weapon: actually, two secret weapons: my THINKING, and my STUBBORNESS.

Thinking, I could come to this solution. And stubborness, cuz I will follow through and this will work.

Came to the conclusion that the only way to start eating again, is by making meals I'm proud of, and excited to try. Yes !

I've been saving some videos of different foods to try to make and I've been sooooo excited !

Only problem is that I fucked up both of my arms cuz of the last post ( sakuatsu baseball ) ( I locked in too hard and drew for 8 hours straight.... ) ( don't do that )

And now I'm in so much pain I'm trying to not do anything and just rest ( not working cuz my family keeps asking me to do chores and stuff that needs a lot of arm strength . I got pissed off cuz they seem to worry but in fact don'tgaf - so this hasnt been working ugh ). Even writing this post makes me feel like there are electrical wires on my hands wrists elbow and shoulders. I shouldn't be but I'm so excited and I need to post this before I forget. I can't lose momentum ? Idk

I'm very excited too ! I've always been curious about vegan food and vegetarian options, which is kind of funny since I'm not a big fan of many, MANY, vegetables.. but seeing them being prepared in ways I've never tried before actually make me feel so happy and curious ! Maybe I will like them then ! I just need to find a way to make them to my taste. Isn't this so exciting ? The magic of genuine curiosity and passion is literally flowing through my veins. I'm so, so happy I found my love for cooking again !!!!!! I can't wait to be fully healed and better and cook these awesome meals.

( by the way I used to joke to my sister that I'd be a vegan vegetarian super Nature vibes when I'd turn 30 - I was like, 11 at the time )

I'm so, so excited. Also, important note: my mom doesn't really season food... Since my dad can't have too much salt, and she can't either ( she takes blood pressure pills ? ) she will put a PINCH of salt. And that's it.

It was kind of sad....

Anyways, I found out I really really like caeser salad and some veggies if they're actually seasoned lol

Ahhhhh I'm so happy ! I feel like I'm actually gonna get better ! I'm planning to make a wonton soup cuz it looks sooooo gooooood ! ( Yes it is pork. No I won't eat the pork. I hope I won't find pork on the market... And then I can search for ground chicken meat. Heh. Probably won't find ground chicken tho. ) I've never had wonton soup so I won't be sure if it's like, good, and the real deal cuz I won't have any data to compare but ! A boy can only dream

And then, I want to try and make more salads ( I love salads ) and also ! I want to make my own pickles ! We don't have a lot of varieties here, it's always the same two or three brands. And the pickles are never crunchy which makes me so sad. They're also very mild and have barely no flavour. WHERE'S THE PASSION.

Also I want to try and make a filet-o-fish from McDonald's. I really like those but they were discontinued, plus, I'm boycotting McDonald's ( and a lot of other brands as well ) and honestly, McDonald's is super expensive here anyways.

And my food is better 🤭🤭

Its funny cuz I'm a very insecure person, but when it comes to cooking, bro I am very proud of myself and my skills. I do in fact cook and I'm...the best cook in my family 😬

It makes me happy that you can see ( and I can see too ) how happy this make me. I really enjoy cooking. I'm really excited to cook again. And I'm very, very ecstatic to eat. Wow !

I'm very proud of myself.

[imjustabeanie]

Finally got around to doing this! ^^ It's superman--yoosung!! ☆☆ Okay, so for my matchup I'd like Genshin or HSR, if that's ok! I'm 29, use she/her pronouns, and I really love music and the arts in general! I'm studying to be in healthcare and music one day, and it's a lot of work but worth it to me! I like lots of things - strawberries, sweets, tea, cute hair accessories, plushies - if you can consider it generally cute, I probably like it lol! I dislike many things, but roaches are the #1, I have a terrible phobia of them ;-; What I like and dislike in a relationship is probably the same as many others. I like to start as friends first and see where things go. I certainly want to be treated with respect, both initially and throughout a relationship. I don't expect it to be perfect, but as long as we can both be mature and discuss our issues straightaway instead of letting them simmer, that's ideal to me. Communication and compromise are key! I'm also fairly short so they'll have to be okay with reaching anything high up in my stead lol! I don't have many deal breakers, but morally I'm obliged to turn down anyone with strong prejudices (homophobia, sexism, etc.) or those who are ultimately self-serving, since I'm an idealist and I don't favor those views in the long-term so even if we got together for a short while it wouldn't last. As for how I'm like in a relationship... Hmm... I wish I could say I give my time freely to those I care for, but it isn't the case. I just don't always have much free time during school since I'm working hard to get good grades and I'm an officer of a campus organization, but I try to carve out time for my loved ones as much as I can! I'm very good with giving words of affirmation, though for myself I prefer receiving affection through quality time or being given gifts (not monetary ones, though, those give me anxiety lol). I am not an overly touchy-feely person, I don't really enjoy kisses or holding hands; but I do like hugs from those I'm close with or to hold onto their arm or shoulders/have their arm around my shoulders.

Thank you again for this!! ^^)/

Your Genshin match is...Tighnari!

Okay so your match is Tighnari! Not gonna lie, I really hesitated between him and Wriothelsey (kaveh too). I think that he’d really fit your caring and responsible personality.

You said you’re studying in healthcare. I believe you two met at a work collaboration. You needed more inside info on some plants and the forest so he’s your guy. You’d get along rather well with Collei too. He is not someone focused on relationships that’s why he won’t even notice how close you are until someone points it out.

Tighnari is a lover that show his love through acts. Just like you, he is very busy with his patrols. Which means that your time together is rather scarce but it gets better when you move in together. He is the type of lover to write you letters every day he doesn’t see you and even prepare a box with little words of support for you to open each day. But he’s also a lover who’d drop everything if you needed him (if you get sick he’ll stay with you, cook for you and make you medicine). On the rare dates you two have, he loves when it’s a picnic where he gets to take you for wonderful views and ramble about the different papers and plants (I can also see him actually planting tea  and strawberries for you and making you sumeru specialities)

Something that’s nice with him, is that he’s understanding and honest. If there are problems he will communicate and is willing to compromise (which you both do due to your respective schedules). He respects you and sees you as an equal. That’s why it’s rare for you two to get into an argument and if you do it’s mostly due to different views on a subject (he apologizes with a plushy afterward if he feels he was in the wrong or went too far. Your fox and fennec plushies came from him) . This relationship is harmonic and going at its own pace.

Now…I believe Tighnari plays an instrument too. Had to ask my mum to remember the name but he seems like a Mandole player so you two could play songs together with your respective instruments (plus he loves listening to you play after a rough day). He doesn’t mind you being touchy and often holds your hand or propose his arm in public (please tell us how the ears and tail feels. You’re the only one who can touch them). He also appreciate your loving words and if you write him letters or anything he’ll treasure them and re read them when you’re not here and he’s feeling down. Your dates often consist on a picnic, cooking together or just cuddling while talking about different topics (he complains about cyno jokes). He appreaciates the communication in the relationship and how understanding you are.

Now on a funny topic (like your shortness. Sorry not sorry)…tighnari does enjoy some teasing here and there. While he always helps you with high shelves, sometimes he feels funny and purposefully puts things in places you can’t reach. And when you confront him about it he’ll come with a plethora of bad excuses creating a light and funny mood.

Welp! Hope you like it!

[johnbly]

20 questions for fic writers

tagged by the @boltlightning the myth the legend

1. how many total works do you have on ao3? 31

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 137,304

3. what fandoms do you write for? mostly potc, but i did toss out that one roland fic the other day. also at some point hornblower and his dragon will be published. i promise bolt. i will not abandon justinian. he also likely wouldn't allow me to anyways. he is likely just outside my window at this very second

(putting it the rest under a cut as this is a bit long)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

a birthday dinner for two (tears of themis)

i would do it again (tot)

partners in everything (tot)

party in the mansion (fe3h)

learning to trust (fe3h)

of the five, learning to trust is definitely my favorite and the one that i think actually deserves the kudos. like not that the others are bad but tot is up there because of fandom popularity and then the other 3h once was for an exchange

5. do you respond to comments? usually!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i was gonna put one of the potc fics here but it feels more bittersweet than angsty so i'll return to my hubert and edelgard pov azure moon fic that i remembered from last time (our paths end here)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i'm p sure last time i did this one i did one of my tot fics which makes sense bc they're basically the only happy ones but i don't think i'd published this one yet? who knows. anyways partners in everything

8. do you get hate on fics? thankfully no but i did get a somewhat rude one that one time

9. do you write smut? only fade to black here and i don't think i've ever posted any of that anyways. don't hold your breath on this changing but also if you're following me expecting that kind of content to begin with you are. in the wrong place

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written? i don't usually but i have done hockey aus for two separate fandoms (3h & pb) so there's that. i wouldn't consider that too crazy though

11. have you had a fic stolen? / 12. have you had a fic translated? / 13. have you ever co-written a fic? keeping these stuck together with a no for me as well. i did do a back and forth writing thing with a former friend but that was for a personal project

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? i am not really a big shipper! i went through my charmed tag the other day so i guess i can say piper/leo bc i was very into them when i was watching. if we can extend ship to being not necessarily romantic then we all know that The Horny Lads have rewritten my brain

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? great question! i can't think of any bc if i don't think i'll ever finish a wip i likely. don't want to finish it

16. what are your writing strengths? i'm good with dialogue especially banter and since i refuse to write fics where i can't get into the head of the pov character i'd like to think my characterization is solid

17. what are your writing weaknesses? society if i could describe things without suffering. i will blame the aphantasia

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i'm not sure i've given it much thought since i haven't done it before. i'd def be scared of messing something up

19. first fandom you wrote for? my first ao3 fic was for pb but i know i did fics before that. i'm gonna guess hp since that was my first fandom

20. favorite fic you've written? look i have to hype this fic up bc it has an audience of like five people but i put a lot of love and time into my fernand character study (the fallen knight)

i tag @writingbyricochet (not sure how much fanfic/ao3 you do since your blog is mostly original worksso feel free to ignore this/adapt as needed) and @philcoulsonismyhero and whoever else wants to do this!

[berisims]

15 questions for 15 mutuals

Suprisingly, a bunch of moots tagged me to participate in this little game while I was gone and I couldn't be happier!

Thank you so much @s4sharkteeth , @ezra-trait , @igotsnothing , @salemsimss , @adoringsentiment , @lilamausmaus , @alpine-lapine , @itsmariejanel and @red-simulation. I love these things!

are you named after anyone? Not that I know of? I think my parents just wanted me to have an uncommon name back then. There are plenty of Vanessas where I live at the moment though 😅

when was the last time you cried? Two days ago. I was watching "The Whale" and ended up gross sobbing towards the end.

do you have kids? Nope. And I don't think I ever will.

do you use sarcasm a lot? Sometimes. I wouldn't say a lot though. To be honest it depends on how moody I am.

what sports do you play/have you played? I used to do Gymnastics and Swimming when I was a kid, then I moved and had to quit. I also practiced Karate, Fencing and took dancing classes in my teens. Right now, I don't do any sports, but I still hit the gym quite frequently.

what’s the first thing you notice about other people? I'd say the way they carry themselves. Maybe their tone of speech as well? While I don't like to judge when meeting someone new, there are a couple of actions and mannerisms that just sound the alarms in my head.

eye colour? Greyish blue. Fun fact, they're actually quite rare in my family, with two more relatives having them currently.

scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies all the way! Scary anything, to be honest.

any special talents? I wouldn't exactly consider it a talent, but I can bend the tip of my thumbs (so first knuckle up) all the way back. I literally can't 👍 without them bending back a little bit more than the average person and freaking my friends out.

where were you born? Lisbon, Portugal!

what are your hobbies? Cosplay, gaming, writing and reading.

do you have any pets? Yes! A 14 year old dog named Kiro and a 2 year old cockatiel named Venti. I also have a few Guppies in a nicely sized fish tank.

how tall are you? 164cm (5'4'')

fave subject in school? Any language subject, psychology and history!

dream job? It took me a while to figure it out, but I'd absolutely love to be an Exotic Vet! Currently studying to become one! In the meantime, I work for a social media platform I quickly grew to absolutely despise 🙃

Tagging @hamasutaa , @simarcana and @trappedwell if you haven't done it yet. If you have or don't feel like done it feel free to ignore this!

[mentalmedic]

(this is an average conversation after shiso comes from sayias bar and loaded on drinks with ritz btw)

hello ryuji my favorite medic perdon or whatevr you wanna callk it weeeeeeeee

whats your favorite color rye breead

did you know yhat the

i like men ryyji yes im gay waht are you gonna do about it hih yoi cant do SHTI ill lowet your pay again haha pelase dont leave like everyone edlse did i swear im not mean rtyuji i love you youre my precious member youre so silly what oweild i do wijtout you 😦😭🍌🍌🍌🫁 my favorite organ i lvoe you somcuh i lied im gonna will take away 😔🗣️your aaprtment. tonight fuckyiou

---------- some time after bc im not asking another question for this

(canon shiso: texts serious as hell when dealing with business clients / cult members. outside of obsidian shiso texts carelessly and often jokes around with people he considers close. when talking to ritz, shiso often sends dry texts and responds in a sarcastic manner. however, when he feels like ritz is having a bad day, shiso will send texts asking if hes alright and if he needs something)

Good afternoon Ryūji. Just making sure you've finished your tasks for today. If you are free, I would appreciate it if you could drop by my office anytime before 7:00 PM so I can go over a couple things regarding your monthly salary. Thanks.

I'm going to be asking everyone a couple questions about yourself and the cult just for the fun of it. You don't have to answer right away, but I'd like it if you could do it sometime before next week. Thanks again.

What is your favorite hobby? If you don't have a favorite hobby, is there something you are looking forward to trying in the future?

2. Do you have a favorite season?

3. List your favorite color(s).

4. What are some things you enjoy doing in your free time?

5. Who do you enjoy working with in Obsidian? Would you rather be teamed up with them instead of others for future tasks?

6. What is your overall view on Obsidian? Would you consider inviting people outside of the cult to work for us?

7. How do you feel about the amount of money you recieve for your job in Obsidian? Do you think it should be raised or do you feel like you are recieving a fair amount?

8. How is your personal life affected by what you are required to do for Obsidian?

i'mshaking. um. ookay um just gonna ignore what hhapenend ummm..

alright..! i'll answer these right away, i don't want to disappoint by keeping you waiting..! (*´д`*)

um, well, my favourite hobby? uhh.. i do like writing poetry.. i also like reading.. i like other things too! slowly picks up a boxcutter

my favourite season? winter, most definitely! ヾ(≧∇≦*)ヾ perfect season for long sleeves and jackets :3

my favourite colours? i like red, black, orange, monochrome colours, and neutral tones! nothing too bright, they strain my eyes... (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

uuuhh.. my free time? i write! like, a lot.. i also study psychology, and try getting better at my anatomy.. it isn't fully mastered yet... but i try my hardest..! ^_^"

i love working with sketchpad! they're my best friend, i love working with him! xey're such a sweetheart to me :3

my overall view? um, well... it's.. okay..! okay for sure.. um, as for inviting people in..? i'd have to think about that..

i receive more money than i deserve. being provided and apartment and basic necessity is all that i need, i don't know if i'd be alive if i wasn't recruited.. so i'd say a fair amount, between that or too much.. but if i'm being honest, i think i'm overpaid.. i really don't deserve this much, haha.  (TωT)

my personal life..? uh.. do i have to answer that?.. seeing how severe injuries go, i'm not affected by most of it, i've seen enough blood myself that i've grown an immunity. i wouldn't know what else would be affected, i promise you i'm fine here..!

[devout-of-the-elder-scrolls]

I kinda wanted to make a post about where I believe the gods come from, just to kinda make my beliefs more clear than a single bullet point on my pinned post can explain.

Before I begin, I really do think all takes on their origin is valid, because what actually matters is the Gods themselves, not where they came from or anything else. Whether or not you even center on the Gods, it's still a valid take.

Long explanation post so under a read more as most of my posts are. (I ramble a lot, lol)

So, as background, I believe in that multiple worlds exist, though pretty much all are only available to us through astral projection. This takes a part in my belief system and my belief that the "gods came first, not the fiction".

Essentially, in my belief system, Nirn exists out there. Not necessarily in the context that we could one day as humans travel there through light speed travel or whatever, but it's not something I've put that much thought into.

As because Nirn exists out there, so do the Gods and Saints of that world. The Nine Divines, the Daedric Princes, the Tribunal, etc.

But this also goes into how I don't view the fictional canon as infallible canon for worship / following a TES based religion. Both because in my experience the Gods sometimes taking difference from what the writers of TES wrote down, and because it's like... well, it seems a bit convenient to me in a way that the writers would get Every Single Detail correct.

Remember how in my bullet points I mentioned that sometimes when people write fiction using Abrahamic lore, they'll rewrite stuff to be more entertaining for the media? Like the Abrahamic God as actually "pure utter evil", when all of His worshipers and His holy books all say that He's not that. Yeah, I kinda put the same possibility (meaning it's not an always true thing or inherently true, I could be wrong!) onto the fictional canon.

While I still study the fictional canon for my worship and religion in all ways, I prioritize my personal experiences, what I've been told by my Gods, what's worked for me, etc above what the writers put into the games and extended universe. I believe that the fictional canon is very much important for building my worship and practice, because not all of it can be wrong either, especially because I believe the Gods had some hand to play in the creation of the games and etc.

The fictional canon does work as something akin to "canon" for worship, so that's what I wouldn't consider UPG, even though my UPG disagrees with some of it.

If I had to take a stance of "they exist from fiction", which I'm not opposed to it's just not what I believe, I'd take TES lore as mythology. Akin to how the Greek hymns aren't always representative of how Ancient Greeks actually worshiped and saw their Gods.

All those stories about the Daedra being pure evil? Sure, it's just fearmongering, it's only from an outsider POV. Some people have already made comparisons of likening Daedra worship to the demonization of pagan and non-Christian faiths, even if the "accepted" faith in Tamriel is polytheistic itself. ...Though, this can be debated how real this actually is because the Daedra are also the Original Spirits in Khajiiti myth but that's an aside...

Even then, mythology is often there to tell you some things, but isn't free of an authors bias. Much like when the Crusades came around to other faiths, they often tried to find one deity to be their "one good guy" and one deity to be their "one bad guy" - A God and Devil equivalent. Who is to say such a thing didn't happen within Tamriel with the Daedric Princes?

(As an aside here, sorry to keep ragging on Christians and what happened in the crusades. It's just the best I got. I love you cool and kind Christians!)

So anyways, that's my ramble. Believe what you wanna believe, because I think the opposite take of "they come from fiction" or any other take that exists doesn't change anything about us both worshiping the TES entities.

[fadebolt]

Dang, the final day of round one, it got here so fast! I gotta say, your capability to keep doing this every day for this many months is something I truly respect. Not many people have the capability to show such levels of dedication to a random hobby. I know I have missed out on a bunch of days during this round, while the other polls were running, and I apologize for that. I just didn't want to have to worry about so many polls constantly, while also having to keep up with my college studies. It's usually best not to have too much stuff that my brain would need to constantly be keeping up with xd But if anyone is interested on what my thoughts are about a particular room that I didn't address (…which are most of them, in retrospect), then feel free to ask me.

Oh, and I almost forgot - you didn't include Farm Arrays in the tags, hehe :D (but I choose to believe that was intentional because Farm Arrays is… you know, Farm Arrays) And now, let's get onto the last list of this round!

Personal room ranking:

1 - Metropolis: cramped (9/10) 2 - Waterfront Facility: C01 (8/10) 3 - The Rot: A09 (8/10) 4 - Farm Arrays: D06 (7/10) 5 - Waterfront Facility: C12 (6/10) 6 - Garbage Wastes: PIPE12 (6/10) 7 - Five Pebbles: C06 (6/10) 8 - The Exterior: E03 (5/10) 9 - Shaded Citadel: C01 (4/10)

Extra comment: You might be wondering, is this a good note to close the round out on? And to that, I can only give a solid "Maybe?"

Admittedly, most of these are pretty decent. Cramped is my favorite, mostly because it's a room with a boring purpose, but a unique design, and I really like it when the devs do that. Just because a room isn't important, it doesn't mean that it has to be a carbon copy of some other rooms from the region, after all (but it absolutely can be, of course, I'm just gonna rate it too high in that case, like in the case of PIPE12 here). I don't think the name describes it very well, since this place doesn't look cramped at all, but you can't see the names in-game, so I can forgive that.

As for the others, a couple of them seem to be making it through, and I'd say pretty much all of them deserve it (and I'm going through them all, cus if there's one reblog that deserves to go even longer, it's this one). C01 is a great example of how to modify an already existing room. You can easily tell which specific Shoreline room this is, while the layout, aesthetic and general feel of it fits Waterfront Facility perfectly. One thing I'm slightly annoyed by is how this new layout makes grabbing the Jellyfish unlock very trivial, but considering the insane mobility of Artificer, Rivulet and Saint, Downpour players could have still very easily bypassed the challenge.

D06 is creative, but it does have some frustrating elements. As an overall design package, though? Yeah, it does work, especially with the rain's flooding mechanic allowing the shelter to be accessible from the bottom, if need be. I'm sure a lot of us have used that, and we all felt like a really clever scug when we did that :)

A09's idea is simple, but effective, throwing off the player by closing off the old path with the rot, while opening up an entirely new one with the collapse. This region does that a lot in general, but it's a great way to let players know that this'll be a lot more than just "FP, but with a higher number of DLLs, and inconsistent gravity". Proto DLLs not being placed annoyingly is also a plus.

And the last one to make it is…. C01? That's weird, cus I have an enormous love for Shaded, yet even I don't really about this room too much. It does fit in well, and it doesn't have anything particularly bad about it, but it's also one of those rooms that I wouldn't mind seeing removed. Its rightside parts are kind of neat, I guess.

And now, for the last and most certainly the least - E03, which didn't get a single vote XD I wanted to mention that one, because I actually really like it in campaigns where it has a DLL. However, I have visited it as Hunter. And I can safely say that I've never made a bigger mistake in this game. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the Precipice and Waterfront Facility were made, just so that Spearmaster and Artificer can go around that godforsaken room. I sure did that, I have absolutely no regrets about it. So yeah, it's quite satisfying to see my feelings get validated like this.

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 181.2

This is not single elimination! Every room with at least 10.0% vote will move on to the next round.

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

Congratulations for day 180.2 winners!

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

So more questions: 22, 25,26 and 28 please, I hope that's not a problem haha ^^;

How indecisive are they?

answered here!

What is something they think they’re bad at, but are actually pretty competent at?

Coding! She did computer science in high school and programming was part of it. She’s by no means at an advanced level, but she is pretty decent at a couple of languages. She’ll tell you she’d need to refresh her memory though.

What is something they’re legitimately bad at?

Sports lmao. There are a few she enjoys but she’s definitely not an athletic person.

When left to their own devices, how would they spend a free day?

Probably anything out of drawing, playing games, listing to music, reading, or watching anime/other shows/a movie. If it’s nice weather, she may go for a walk and if she’s in the mood, she’ll bake something sweet.