#I'd say it's been a good run but it didn't get very far lol

[bunabi]

I finished Veilguard btw so here's my long thoughts (be warned I've been writing notes during my entire playthrough so this is very long) for folks who want it:

My favorite parts of DAV:

Best level design in any DA so far. The platforming grew on me, and I think the levels were well-thought out and mostly fun to navigate. Arlathan Forest was exhausting but other areas felt nicely balanced with branching paths, hidden rooms, etc. Exploration in smaller contained maps done right imo.

Mage combat is really satisfying at higher levels. Pure ranged combat is totally impossible unless you have Davrin and Taash popping taunts back to back, but dropping a massive AOE while fighting close-range feels good too.

Being able to auto-equip and compare new gear is great.

Same with the codex entries. Not having to hunt down whatever note I just picked up is a huge improvement.

Upgrading equipment via duplicates incentivized treasure chest hunting, which I would have otherwise skipped lol. It really helped me slow down and take time exploring areas, and I appreciated that.

The final act didn't make the previous 70+ hours feel better, my fault for spoiling most of it for myself, but it was neat. Cool set pieces, cool fights. I was worried Elgar'nan was gonna have the same moveset as the Regrets, but his final battle was great.

Oh, I forgot Felassan! His notes were a tragic delight. Such a good man. Funny too. They didn't need to kill Varric to make Solas less sympathetic...I think Felassan's betrayal(s) serve that purpose well already.

Rook & Their Faction:

Without rehashing what I've said over the past few weeks: this is my least favorite protagonist.

Being a funny and sarcastic and irreverent hero in a DA game is not new. Not having a choice in the matter is. The Inquisitor was pretty fixed in their tone too (cant even choose a personality for them in CC) but even they had better aggressive options available.

Folks say not to judge Rook's depth by a Lord of Fortune playthrough but since factions are asymmetrical on purpose here are my impressions:

The Lords of Fortune didn't contribute to my run in any meaningful way other than getting Emmrich hot which is not unique, as it turns out, to any particular background. In fact, learning Natalene was a galley slave as an aside detracted from my experience. Being a former galley slave, former Circle mage (again: Rivain doesn't have Circles), semi-Dalish city elf with DIY vallaslin is unreal. Especially as characters continuously imply Rook is a young 20-something. The fact this wasn't immediately caught and course-corrected shows -- to me -- how hectic and spread-thin DAV's development really was. :(

Story & Antagonists:

Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain have cackling witch disease. No motivations outside of power. That was a little disappointing. Was also hoping they'd at least comment on Rook/Davrin/Bellara's vallaslin but they're too busy plotting world domination to really notice. Love their designs though. I'd love to hear a deep dive on how they animated Ghil's tentacles.

Veilguard feels like an immediate follow-up to Trespasser, not the ten year timeskip it says it is. I wonder if that's a symptom of adapting the live service story (content that was likely meant to stretch, similar to Anthem and Destiny, over a decade) for single-player.

I miss the politically-motivated meddling. Every villain is allied with the Evanuris. We needed some that aren't. The Right and Left Hand of the Black Divine, corrupt brothers of the Imperial Chantry, the agents of the Archon, a Minrathous street gang, some Rivaini pirates, anything, anyone.

It's crazy how all elven resistance seemed to evaporate with the dissolution of the Dread Wolf Army. As much as I'd hate seeing them duped and betrayed by Solas…I prefer that to just pretending everything's fine now. I could easily see alienage elves and slaves take Cyrian's path, desperate for change no matter the source, especially since oppression is all they've known and there's no end to it in sight. Especially with their gods confirmed as the source of the blight. All downhill from here I fear.

The Butcher. Would. That voice and that frame....it purred I fear. But even he was not immune to cackling witch disease. Wish he stuck around longer for personal reasons. My South is under siege and I aint talking about Ferelden.

Combat:

I found myself switching builds a lot, which was nice and kept things fresh. That being said: DAV needed loadouts for skills and equipment and a menu showing active passive skills + enchantments. A QOL update for this stuff would have been amazing. I want to try an archer run, but I dread (🐺) fussing with skill tree nodes again.

After fighting Mythal (my first full dragon fight) I was disappointed how all dragons share her same attack patterns. They didn't have to reinvent the wheel or anything -- this was the case with dragon battles in DAI and I thought it was fine -- but Mythal of all enemies should have been unique.

High-level demons are limited to Rage and Pride. High-level darkspawn are limited to Ogres. I miss those little scrungly lookin' despair demons and nasty ass hurlock emissaries. After 60 hours I did get a little tired of the same handful of mobs over and over.

Companions & NPCs:

The Veilguardians feel like my kids. Except Emmrich who's absolutely convinced he's in an age-gap relationship with my older lady Rook. It's not that they're uniquely dependent or rudderless, it's that their struggles are solved with nurturing pep talks. Reaffirm their worth, give them a hug, and all that inner turmoil is cancelled. Rich coming from the 'I should have been able to influence my companions more in DAI' girl, but Rook's impact on the Veilguard, the way their doubts vanish completely via some life coaching, feels off.

Speculation: I think the companions were originally planned to be NPCs. Their written banter in some of the notes, their verbal banter throughout the Lighthouse, they feel like they're meant to stay in the hub and act as quest-givers in the live service game. Especially with how Rook is excluded. That's fine btw it just helps explains some things. (Just remembered something else: when you talk to quest NPCs out in the world and the camera focuses in on the conversation, you can't see your companions. They chime in with disembodied voices, always hidden out of frame. That also gives me the feeling they were added later. Not confirmed btw just my hunch!)

Torn about Taash. I love them for breaking the 'agreeable companion' monotony but hate the ~animalistic race~ tropes they were saddled with. I've had issues with Weekes' handling of race and culture in the past. I'm disappointed to see it continue a decade later. I'll leave it there. Sten cannot smell ovulating coochie!

I tried to kill Lucanis during the final assault. Had full faction strength but I didn't complete his personal quest. It didn't work. Sorry Zevran!

Shathann's VA was acting her ass off. Great performance. Absolute bars from Taash's VA during their scenes too.

I dreaded (🐺) opening the Lighthouse map to see who wanted to talk. I usually love chopping it up and getting to know my party; that's my favorite part of any DA game. But so many conversations were just spent restating the obvious (Bellara is worried about The Gods and her brother, Harding is worried about her powers and Solas, Davrin is worried about the griffons and Gloom Howler, you know like in case you forgot). Running person-to-person-to-person and feeling no sense of accomplishment or progress for it seriously drained me.

The Inquisitor… I assumed vowing to stop Solas would block my Lavellan from pining and questioning herself after a decade apart and two very clear rejections. She kept asking whether he could still be reasoned with even in the midst of the final operation. I'm disappointed how little that choice mattered in the end. The second-hand embarrassment was crazyyy.

Romance:

Now this part is a little unique. Sorry for what I'm about to say about Emmrich. If it helps: I found him the most fun of all the companions. He's handsome, thoughtful, and has a fascinating past. But I ended up being dissatisfied by the end, and not just because of being soft-locked into a May-December fling, cringe commentary from Rook, and feeling like I was straight-up harassing Emmrich in early flirting dialogue.

The main issue: I don't care for the Mourn Watch. I like the Mourn Watch characters, but the organization makes me crazy. We hear so little about how they function in the context of an Andrastian nation like Nevarra. Summoning the dead in a world that still believes souls join the Maker's side in the Fade is huge. I wanted to really dig into discussions on the afterlife but in the end I'm supposed to go 'waow cool skeletons' and forget that religion is such an important facet of Thedas. I was so bummed!

I made him a Lich because he didn't seem to care either way. Reuniting him with Manfred is morally good, turning him into an eternal protector of the Necropolis is morally good. Emmrich is happy with whatever, so I gave him whatever, and I said 'whatever' when it was all over. My god is that man cute, but the romance overall just didn't do it for me.

Should've known when I saw his rotunda lol Bioware you sly dogs you got me again!

Personal final thoughts:

Well? I don't think I'm sad anymore, but I am left with complicated feelings. Obviously things are a little different for me being an EA Partner and getting an idea of just how much work has gone into making the game exist period. And I think because I can't blame it all on one person, shit all over it, and move on that these feelings are just kinda churning with nowhere to go.

Things could have been handled better. Didn't like the attempt to hide the world states until launch, or the dismissive comments from writers about it. Didn't like the AMA answers. And this isn't really my business but I'll say it anyway: I feel like the community council was thrown to the wolves, having to base their DA4 impressions around the sliver of content they were allowed to see, and having a much more hands-off role than implied.

I hope DAV is taken as an opportunity to refocus, double-down on what makes Dragon Age so beloved, and lean into those strengths unapologetically. Easier said than done -- as much as I loved Swen's speech about creating games free of marketing expectations and mimicking the latest trends that's often times impossible -- but I want to believe it can be done in this case.

Anyway both Sabine & my antibiotics are complete and I'm overcoming my moodiness and getting back to work on commissions! I've cured the Blight in more ways than one! 😄

[galaxysugarr]

Hi All! I thought it was time i gave a lil update from this game and how its been going.

I'm one that tends to keep to myself till a project is fully complete or close to complete, but I've gained a lot of asks about this over time and more as of late lol. So thought I'd cut the radio silence a tad and answer a few repeat questions id gotten!

Are you working on the game?

Surprisingly, yeah.

Will this be a completed game to buy?

Definitely not, least not now. My plan is to make a basic demo of the game as building a complete game with the script and everything would take a very long time and a lot to learn!

It would also be a free to play game, as Its a fan game.

When can we see it, are you almost done, videos and updates!!!

Well... 2023 was a busy year for me personally. And as a person who is still learning to animate along with barely any knowledge of game coding. Led to me needing to learn a lot and do trial and error.

A lot of things are temporary placeholders and incomplete textures with testing. So I didn't feel they where good to share progress of.

a lot of it was me learning, trying different styles to work with the game, and sketches throughout.

Can i help with the project????

I do appreciate you all asking for help,But I don't know much about game development and working with a team on this. So it's more of a passion project for me, and so far what I have learned has been nice :>.

I didn't wanna rely and give up on the project or delay it so much due to factors so I'm workin on it alone right now till the project is farther along and more stable.

Will it look exactly like the trailer, what kind of game is it, what all do you have planned for the demo?

Admittedly I had originally made sprites and everything to match the video, but i ended up going for a more chibi type style as its easier to work with.

Its a side scrolling game with rpg like elements.

The current plan is to have two fully completed stages, a mini game, 4 playable characters (2 being Sun and Moon), and some extra features.

Will the demo be out this year?

I can't say, it all depends on how much time i work on it and learn ;o! I don't like to get hopes up, but I work it on it when I can.

Crumbs, please

Some of the daycare and model updates. It's not much, but I find it fun to run around and interact with things lol

So all and all for those really wondering about the project, its still a heavy work in progress. A fun and frustrating one for sure, but Its been nice actually learning to code and design it so far.

Hope this answered a few questions and of course you can ask other stuff about it, I don't mind.

Thank you!

[badaziraphaletakes]

I have some questions

Hi... Aziraphale had no way of going to hell in search of Crowley??????

Oh wait that's not a question, that's a statement. Lol nvmind.

And how would Azi even get him back out? Stop blaming her for what the heaven/hell apparatus is doing to Crowley and to her. (Y'know what, I'm gonna be referring to Azi as "she/her" in this post, because we all deserve more of that. So deal with it.) Do you think she hasn't been racking her brains trying to think of a way to save Crowley ever since the Fall, and even before that?

Also - If Aziraphale went to hell and got stuck there, she'd probably be forced to torture people and that's not cool. (She probably wouldn't get a job on earth like Crowley.) Whereas there is no evidence whatsoever that Aziraphale has to actively do harm as part of her current role on earth. There are very good reasons Crowley doesn't want her to go to hell / become a demon / whatever. He doesn't want Aziraphale to suffer the same moral injury that he has.

Also also - Aziraphale mouths "Crowley" instead of screaming it because she knows it'll only get them both in more trouble if heaven/hell finds out they have an acquaintanceship, let alone that they care about each other. As an ab*se survivor, it's one of the most painful moments in the series for me, seeing Aziraphale distraught and having to hide it.

Azi mouthing "Crowley" while frantically trying to keep a straight face is the equivalent of Charles immediately trying to run after Edwin. It's arguably even more loving, I'd say. Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that she saw her worst nightmare come true (or rather, didn't see it? you know what I mean lol) and still managed to keep her "We don't know each other" mask more or less intact. Utterly devastating. This was the ultimate test of her love for Crowley, and she passed it.

*** Side note: If Aziraphale behaved the way fans want to demand she behave, hell would have killed Crowley so many times already lmao. And then of course the fans would be blaming her for that instead. << Babygirl can't win. She's damned (ha) if she does and damned if she doesn't. ***

You can see the horror and terror and devastation in her eyes.

Here's a really good post about it:

But even if we didn't have that glimpse of her face at that moment... FUCK thinking Aziraphale wasn't worried about Crowley then. There is literally NO reason to assume she wasn't upset about seeing him dragged to hell to presumably be killed. (And yes, Azi knew hell was ab*sive and violent to Crowley, even back then. I'd argue she's known since NLT Uz. After all, she knows Crowley didn't "kill" the goats and the kids because he wanted to. She knows it was because hell made him do it.)

Also also also: She literally did go to hell to save Crowley, later on?

And wtf is wrong with what she wrote in her diary? "That was the last I was to see of Crowley for some time" is (so far as we know) a factual statement. She's writing about an upsetting experience. Journaling is a healthy coping technique. But apparently that's bad now lmao. (Not to mention there were so many things about that diary entry that were so blatantly weird that it's clear we can't take anything about Aziraphale's journals at face value anyway. But I guess we're just ignoring that.)

OH AND ONE MORE THING! That's "husband" or "wife" or "spouse" to you, not "friend"!

[bl-sensei]

Hazbin Hotel songs review: Stayed Gone

This song doesn't have a French title, but if it had one it could've been "Regretter d'être rentré" (lit. Regret coming back).

Pros:

Vox sings "You're not welcome down here anymore" (Say hello to a new status quo), I don't know why they didn't keep "status quo", but I like the translation;

Vox sings "Say goodbye to radio / We prefer video / we want sounds and images in Hell" (While he hid in radio / We pivoted to video / Now his medium is getting bloody rare) there isn't the idea of him being a coward, but I like that he says that people prefer video;

Alastor sings "For a while, you've been demanding / a stylish media / that offers quality" (yes I know it's been a while / since someone with style / treated hell to a broadcast) I like that he says that people asked for him to come back and that he's qualitative unlike Vox;

Alastor sings "Vow gonna regret / Playing" (Your status quo / Will know it's race is run) and I like that he threatens him.

I love Alastor's French va, Maxime Hoareau , he's awesome. I didn't even realize it was him, I didn't even know he could sing! I can't say how happily surprised I was! I love his energy, he was perfect, so it's a pro.

Cons:

In French Vox doesn't call Alastor a coward;

In French Alastor is far more familiar, so it was surprising when I learned that apparently him saying "fuck you" to Lucifer was the 1st he'd swear in English. In this song, he sings (Instead of one of his mediocre whorish little TV shows) (instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast), the word he used in French is dated so it suits him in a way, but hearing him say "whorish" was quite a shock tbh; he also calls Vox a French equivalent of "loser" but far more familiar, so this one was quite a shock too;

We lost the idea of Vox being insecure and thriving only thanks to Valentino and Velvette; but instead, they call each other useless so I guess it cancels out?;

Alastor's French va has a bad tendency to not do the rhymes in [e] and [ə] (ex: tolerate is pronounced / ˈtɒl.ə.ɹeɪ̯t/ [tbh idk if that really helps]). We can often switch the two pronunciations (usually it depends on the region) so you can make them rhyme as long as you pronounce it correctly, which he tends not to do. Not a huge problem but it ticked me;

We don't have the parallelism "I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone", instead we have "let me remind you who I am", which is good too but I love figures of style;

Alastor sings "Because my voice / Is your friend" (Tune on in / When I'm done) and I don't think he could really be called a friend lol.

It was really complicated to rate this song because the lyrics changed a lot. As a whole, the song is not great, but not terrible either. The translation is very different, but the ideas stayed more or less the same. I'd say the song is OK if you only speak French, but it's better in English. I give this song a 6/10.

[pseudophan]

what do u think of the silent hill remake so far personally i'm really loving it

(minor silent hill 2 remake spoilers in this reply, no story spoilers though)

IT'S SO GOOD. i'm SHOCKED. like i always thought it would be a decent game i never bought into the negativity really but i didn't think it would be like... great? i assumed it would be fine but objectively maybe a 6.5 or 7/10 but i'd love it just because it's silent hill and i can always just replay the original when i want the full experience but GODDAMN.... i'm only like halfway through the woodside apartments cause i can only play when it's dark out and my mum's awake so it's a very limited timeframe lol but so far i'm having an incredible time. i've never been more tense in my life. i'm also one hit away from death at all times because i'm bad at video games and the way james is moaning in pain and barely able to walk is stressing me out even more sbdhfjsd i'm so sorry dude i will get better at combat i promise.

idk my main thing i keep thinking about is how clear it is that the devs really really love the og game. my biggest worry was that they wouldn't be able to capture the atmosphere and feeling of the original in a modern game but fucking hell they really did. it's of course not the exact same, the fixed camera angles being traded in for an over the shoulder view and the better graphics and relatively normal voice acting all make it so you can't fully recreate the way the original felt, but none of it has made the game worse at all, the differences aren't a big deal. i've seen people say the original felt more dreamlike and the remake feels more oppressive and i think that perfectly sums it up. running through the streets of silent hill in the og feels like you're trapped in a nightmare you can't wake up from, the remake feels more like you're trapped in a very real scenario you just can't escape

also!!! obsessed with how they handled the corpses strewn about. they clearly realised that if they did what the original did and used james' character model for all of them it would be a little too obvious because of the better textures and graphics, and if it's obvious then james would have to comment on it and that makes it a direct part of the story rather than a subtle eerie thing. the one with the key just being a pile of clothes is a decent solution but i looove one by the tv being covered by a sheet and how if you interact with it james reaches out to remove it but changes his mind and leaves it. i thought that was clever

i could go on forever but my mum's calling me to come stack firewood my life is so hard

[thebramblewood]

I was going to put this in a comment but I had MANY THOUGHTS so I thought I'd send an ask instead.

I'm in the process of reading through your pre-HZID Zhaoverse stuff and Helena's high school video project made me unexpectedly emotional. I love what you did with it and seeing it adds to the current stuff in the story for sure. It's such a great window into Helena's mind — and her heart, that really comes through here too.

It would be really interesting to see Helena pick up her photography hobby again. It can be difficult to do your hobby when you're in a bad place mentally, but maybe photography could her process her feelings and situation. Photography could also help her have a firmer, better understanding of her own identity. She's very much her own distinct person, unwilling to just go along with whatever Lilith or Caleb feels like doing, and taking part in a hobby she likes could help her affirm herself even more.

A potential difficultly (but also a good source of personal conflict) could be that in the Zhaoverse, at least with some types of cameras, vampires don't show up in pictures? Thus, Helena and the most important people in her life at this present moment (excluding Drusilla of course) don't show up in pictures. Maybe the type of camera the spellcasters were using when Caleb was hanging out with them involved mirrors, and this was why it didn't work.

I don't actually remember if it's been established if vampires show up in pictures taken on more recent cameras. There are all those pictures of the Vatores in your Wolfsbane Manor but they might be paintings, I don't know. It would be interesting whether vampires show up in photos or not! If they don't show up, Helena would have FEELINGS about that to deal with. If they do, she's still dealing with how she, her environment, and her life have changed.

Your early Helena posts also have me thinking about if we'll ever run into anyone from Helena's high school years! Helena evidently did not end up in life where she and her peers probably expected she would. I'm not asking if we'll run into any of those sims because I wouldn't like to cause you problems with spoilers or letting your storytelling process do it's thing, but it was sure something I was thinking about as I read through those old posts!

Thanks again for all the work you put into Helena Zhao is Dead.

You always have such good ideas! So much to address! First of all, don't forget we have already seen a few of Helena's high school friends in the story. Yuki went to Foxbury and encouraged Helena to get out of her comfort zone (I don't think she considered how far Helena would take that advice). Darling showed up briefly when the Copperdale Creep, I mean, Helena was in the midst of wreaking havoc on her hometown. And Ash and Molly were in the prologue!

The deeper we get into vampire angst territory, admittedly, it gets harder and harder to figure out where to fit the lighter or smaller moments in. I always found it tricky in the first place to portray Helena's photography hobby, but you're right that we haven't seen her with a camera in awhile - since her Oasis Springs trip with Ulrike, I think! It's definitely a hobby that, A., she hasn't had much time for or headspace to consider but also that, B., as you said, is a little bit complicated now by the vampire lore around cameras... which I've been somewhat skirting around because I'm unsure about it, honestly.

If I hadn't already made Caleb invisible in the photo with the spellcasters, I might have entirely done away with that piece of lore because it's more inconvenient than not, lol. But I think I can still get away with saying they were using a film camera rather than a digital camera because they're spellcasters who like being pretentious and fancy. So, theoretically, I guess that means Helena could take pictures of vampires, including herself! (Though the portraits in their house are meant to be paintings, so technically the only photos we've seen of the Vatores are from back when they were human.)

I like your point about Helena rediscovering her old hobbies as a way to stay in touch with herself and maintain her own personality. I'm currently trying to think of the best way to introduce a whole side of Forgotten Hollow we haven't seen yet, and I'm tossing around a couple different ideas in my head that haven't fully come together, but maybe photography could play into it in some way. Should Helena attempt to make a documentary of this strange little town no humans are supposed to know exists? I'm not sure how some of the inhabitants we're about to meet would feel about that! 😝

[pastafossa]

I GOT TICKETS TO SEE CHARLIE AT COMIC CON!!!!! ᗡ:

I'm gonna get to get an autographed photo with him and go to panels and I'm so excited asdgdhd :>

Do you have any tips on how not to freak out during the photo op?

OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU YESSSSSS! Like LOOK, I've met celebs before, big names and small, at cons and signings and stuff. Most of them are really cool about it. But Charlie was by far the nicest, most genuine celeb I've had the pleasure of meeting. So you're in good hands here.

Sexy... sexy hands *heavy breathing*

Some tips that helped, some of which I got from other Daredevil fans here who'd met him before me!

The biggest one is try to prepare for the photo op to go FAST and for that sudden moment you're right up there with him, cause you'll easily get flustered otherwise. When they were taking me and @wonderlandmind4 through the op, we had maybe twenty seconds. It went: come in, say hi and introduce yourself (he asks your name quite frequently which is lovely), you set up the photo real quick if it's anything other than arms around shoulders (this is when I was like, 'can you hold the other end of this up to your chest?' with the red thread I'd made, and others quickly explained all the poses for their pics), they take the photo, then he shakes your hand (this is where I said, 'thank you SO much Charlie), he usually thanks you for coming by name (I got lucky and got a, 'and you as well my dear, have a lovely day' after I thanked him, FUCKING. SWOON.) , and you're out. So basically the speed can absolutely throw you, because you basically come around the corner and BOOM, he's right there, shaking your hand, smiling at you, and holy shit does he make genuine eye contact which is absolutely capable of stunning you up close. Like, I'd been warned and I still had to fight a momentary burst of white noise in my brain.

If you're going to say something here about loving his work or what Daredevil means to you (other than just, 'oh my god this is awesome' or something), I'd try to pick something short and impactful, but fast. A sentence, maybe two when you're introducing yourself is all you'll have time for, so make it count. Don't be afraid to write it out and then edit it down until it's just right. "Hi, I'm *insert name*, I'm so happy I finally get to meet you." Or "Hi, I'm *insert name*, your work has meant a lot to me, thank you for doing this." Something like that. Quicky funny lines would also probably go down just fine. The important part to know is while he does the best he can, the con itself is running this and they're usually trying to move you through like cattle, so he's limited in how much time he can spend with each person before he's gotta run off to a panel. So if what you've got is short, that'll help you be ready.

Practice, practice, practice. Practice what you're going to say if you need to. Make sure you can run through it on instinct to minimize chances of forgetting what to say or do. And if you have a certain way you want to look, practice that, too. My picture is fucking hilarious to me and fam because while I got through my practiced line about asking him to hold the red thread, I completely forgot how I was going to pose or how I'd planned to smile, and my entire fam knew what had happened the second they saw my absolutely over the moon goofy smile and the way I clearly forgot what to do with the hand I didn't have over his shoulder. Which I wound up liking cause it's a very genuine photo, but some people want something a bit more controlled LOL.

And lastly, because it's worth a repeat: just know that he really does try to make this go well. He's incredibly genuine and nice, and I honestly think he works to make himself very approachable, likely because he knows a lot of us are nervous as hell. One of my friends at the con (who, hilariously, I didn't know was there and who didn't know I was there until he saw me in Charlie's autograph line - I didn't see his message asking if that was me until later) where I met Charlie, was in a REALLY long line for one of the other actors who wound up staying late to sign. He said Charlie stayed just as late to make sure absolutely everyone who'd bought an autograph ticket got their autograph since the con had been kinda disorganized and there were a lot of people still in line. And nobody I've talked to who's met him has ever had a bad experience with him. So just keep reminding yourself of that. <3

So basically yeah, that's what I've got, and he's now my favorite celeb I've ever met, and it was an incredibly positive experience both in the photo op and at the autograph table. You've got nothing to worry about. Just practice, be ready for the speed, and take a deep breath.

[beevean]

I don't think I've ever seen anyone trying to analyze Lilly's route, in particular the choices that lead to the Good Ending, despite her being by far the most popular girl. It took me years to understand the logic of the choices, but I think I got it.

As a recap: to get the Good Ending, you need to make three correct choices, making Lilly's route the most delicate of the five: it's possible to mess up in Act 2, and not see any repercussion until Act 4.

The repercussion is that Akira drops the bombshell that Lilly has been planning to rejoin their parents in Scotland, permanently, and hid this from Hisao. If you failed to get the Good Ending, the story simply... stops, and Lilly and Akira leave forever leaving Hisao and Hanako behind. If you do get the Good Ending, the story continues and Hisao gains the inspiration to chase Lilly down to apologize for not being there for her during such a difficult time.

The difference between the Neutral Ending and the Good Ending is that Hisao in the former never realizes that he took Lilly for granted, and he only saw her as the perfect girlfriend and person, so when she goes away, he simply lets her, powerless; while in the Good Ending he recognizes that she too is human and she too needs help, and he gains the courage to do so. But how did he come to this conclusion?

The three choices are, apparently inconsequential and fairly obvious. In those three circumstances, Hisao has the choice to be honest or keep things to himself: as the player has learned in the Mind Your Step scene, in Act 1, being secretive leads to your death lol. Lilly values honesty, that's something that she insists on frequently; but the logic can't be so simple. Why would Hisao completely give up on Lilly if one day months before he didn't feel like sharing his thoughts?

Let's go through a rundown:

A Brief History of Thyme, choice 1:

LILLY: "Are you all right, Hisao?" HISAO: "Sorry?" LILLY: "You just seemed to go very quiet, that's all." HISAO: "Ah, sorry. I was just thinking." LILLY: "Oh?" NARRATOR: "Ah, now I've piqued her curiosity. It feels kind of overly personal to talk about though..."

Hisao is caught being lost in his thoughts, and Lilly innocently asks what they're about. He feels self-conscious as he was thinking of her, her life, and her relationships, so he's hesitant to answer.

If you "Tell the truth":

HISAO: "It was just kind of... I was thinking about how you seem to have everything so sorted out, even with Hanako relying on you. I can admit that even I kind of relied on you when I first transferred in. I think it's a good quality to have." NARRATOR: "I turn to Lilly, surveying her reaction. She's forcing herself to look forward and furrowing her brow quite a bit. Her face looks a bit awkward, as if she was trying to find just the right words." HISAO: "...Lilly?" LILLY: "I would thank you, but... assuming that I don't rely on the presence of others is too much. You'd be wrong to think that Hanako simply depends on me with nothing in return." NARRATOR: "She seems to have a bit of trouble saying it, even though it's largely what I'd thought already. If she's tried so hard to maintain her independence, as anyone would have had to in her position, sighted or not, maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs. It's only now that I realize an omission in what she says, though. I decide to follow it up, largely in jest, to avoid things getting too personal." HISAO: "Oh? And what about me?" NARRATOR: "She suddenly runs ahead of me and turns, blocking me off. With a smile, she holds her hands behind her as she leans forwards." LILLY: "You're different."

So, not only Hisao and Lilly gets a cute bonding moment, but Lilly already reveals the core message of her route.

Hisao believes Lilly "seems to have her life set up and going just as she wants," and has everything sorted out. Lilly, however, admits that it's not true and she too relies on the presence of others. Both her words and her reluctance to say them are key to what follows in her route. "Maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs," oh my sweet summer child.

Contrast with "Just what is she thinking now? I look up to the dark sky as I slump my shoulders. I think this is something I have to sort out for myself, rather than relying on her for everything," which is what Hisao thinks if you "Avoid the subject". If he's honest, Lilly passes the message that everyone relies on someone; if he's not, Hisao thinks he'd better only rely on himself... leaving Lilly in the same position.

Prelude, choice, 2:

LILLY: "If you want to sleep more, you should really go to bed earlier. I heard the television going long into the night." HISAO: "Sorry about that. My medications have been interfering with my sleep for a while now. Even if I'm tired I have trouble actually sleeping." LILLY: "I'm... sorry for bringing it up, Hisao." NARRATOR: "I sigh. This is exactly the kind of thing I wish others wouldn't do."

Hisao is still self-conscious about his condition, and doesn't want to be pitied, even more so by the naturally caring and motherly Lilly.

But we must "Address it":

HISAO: "Come on, you worry about me more than I do at times. It just means I have to sleep a bit longer, that's all." LILLY: "But still..." HISAO: "I'd say that I look absolutely fine, but I guess that wouldn't have a lot of meaning for you." NARRATOR: "She gives a sigh of consternation before trailing off with an amused chuckle, giving up the point." LILLY: "If you say so. Please do take care of yourself, Hisao."

Not doing so has Hisao awkwardly telling Lilly to help Hanako, which she doesn't appreciate.

This choice is mostly about Hisao, and it picks back one of the most important lessons of the game. The story is very, very clear that he must not wallow in self-pity and denial: he has a medical condition, and that condition comes with challenges, but that doesn't make him any lesser. If his shame makes him push people away, he won't get far.

Hisao's conception of Lilly is of a loving, but fretting figure that at worst pities him from her position of superiority. If he waves her off, too ashamed and prideful to open up, he doesn't fully challenge his misconception, and doesn't fully realize that she's more vulnerable that she lets on.

Out and About, choice 3:

LILLY: "But on that note, what of your confessions, Hisao? I'm sure someone like you must have had at least one admirer." NARRATOR: "As I open my mouth to speak, I can feel my face turn slightly dour. At times like this, I secretly appreciate the fact that she can't see my expressions." HISAO: "Just... one. Her name was Iwanako. It was when she confessed to me that I had my heart attack. There in the woods, during winter." NARRATOR: "Lilly finds herself speechless, not expecting for the topic to move into such an area. My condition has always been something of a concern for her, something that I strive to minimize despite my body's best efforts to the contrary." HISAO: "Afterwards, she visited me for a while when I was in the hospital. For weeks she came in and talked. It was usually just smalltalk or classroom gossip, but that was enough. But eventually... she just stopped coming. She was there every day. Then every other day. Then once a week. Then finally, one day, she just stopped visiting entirely." LILLY: "Did you ever... see her again?"

Lilly has inadvertedly hit a sore spot for Hisao. The two are together and having a sweet romantic date, but he understandably wouldn't like to talk about what was effectively the lowest point of his life.

It would be understandable if he "Dropped the subject", because as he points out, their date is about them, not a girl that broke up with him months before. But it's best if we "Mention the letter", because the following piece is crucial:

NARRATOR: "The memory of that single letter Iwanako sent me comes back to my mind." HISAO: "I never saw her again, but after I was sent to Yamaku... she wrote me one letter." NARRATOR: "Lilly's face shows an expression I know well. I've piqued her interest. I'd be slightly offended that it's simply a matter of curiosity for her, but she's never been very good at masking her reactions." HISAO: "In hindsight, it really didn't say much. What was going on in my old class, how she was faring, and, almost as an afterthought, that it was probably best for the both of us that we don't see each other again. After reading it, I ended up reassessing a lot of things I thought I'd managed to work out. For the most part, that letter reminded me that the world around me was still moving, and just how much I'd become isolated from it. And... I guess it also reminded me of what I'd lost." NARRATOR: "She gives the information some thought before her face lights up in realization. No doubt she's worked out that it was this letter which had contributed to my angst during that lunch on the rooftop. It's a rare sight to see Lilly quite so lost for words, her entire persona is a little deflated from her earlier rapt interest. As charismatic as she is, in the end that isn't any replacement for life nor relationship experience." LILLY: "Perhaps... it is better she sent it than not." HISAO: "How's that?" LILLY: "It can be difficult to work out how best to communicate with those you haven't met in a long time. All the more so, considering your separate situations. Instead of doing what was easiest, she built up the courage to talk to you one last time; not only for her sake but, from how it sounds, for yours as well." HISAO: "Maybe. I don't hate her for it, not that I really ever did, but... I don't know." NARRATOR: "Probably a more noncomittal answer than I should give, but it isn't without cause. I've never looked at the situation from Iwanako's perspective like that before."

We have a lot packed here. Hisao admits and puts into words how much Iwanako's letter shook him and forced him to reconsider that he hadn't moved on as easily as he had thought. He realizes that Lilly may be charismatic, which I suppose is a way to say that she looks mature and reliable, but she still lacks life and relationship experience. Lilly commends Iwanako for having the courage to speak to Hisao one last time to have a proper closure. Hisao is seeing the situation for the first time from the girl's perspective.

With all of this in mind, it makes perfect sense that only by being honest with Lilly three times, he can reach this conclusion in False Cadence:

"I had thought her sense of independence to be a good and admirable trait. It was in stark difference to my reliance on my parents before my heart attack, as reluctant as I may have been to admit it. However, it also meant that she never let people get too close to her. She lost her family likely due to her blindness, went to a different school from anybody she knew because of it, and worked all the harder to make sure she didn't end up a burden on her sister and those around her. And now, Akira's going to Inverness, just like the family she thought she'd lost. She never told me of her plans, as conflicted as she was about them. Lilly didn't want to be a burden on anyone, including me. ...I'm an idiot." "I never questioned it. I never tried to be there or asked when she needed me to. I just set my life up and expected it to stay that way forever, with the two of us having a nice long relationship where we pushed forwards towards our future together. A small pit of frustration and anger at myself wells up in my chest. I just let everything happen, never even trying to help Lilly. Just her being there was enough. I thought I could keep going on if that were true. But that could never have been enough. It was a childlike dependence on somebody, without any attempt to understand or help their situation. Thanks to that, I lost Lilly. I lost the one person I loved most because I wasn't there for her when she needed me."

And why he would even have the idea of chasing her down before it's too late, much like Iwanako chose to be brave enough to send him one last letter.

While I still think these three choices are very obvious to pick, which takes away the fun of guessing what would be the right thing to do, I really like how everything ties together and subtly conveys the message of Lilly's route: no one is perfect, there is no shame is needing help, and two lovers have to be there for each other and allow the other to be there for them. Poor Lilly lived for years with the convinction that if she just was perfect and went beyond the limits of her pesky blindness, her parents would love her again. Hisao has the chance to teach her that she doesn't need to pretend to be flawless, as long as he too challenges himself and his own shame.

[midnightshard06]

STH Rarepair Week Day 5: Fluff

You can check it out on ao3 here if you prefer.

Summary: Out on a run, Shadow gets rudely interrupted by Sonic's inner chaos demon Super Sonic. Though at least for him meeting with Super is less of a life threatening experience and more of a... pleasant one. Not that he'd admit that out loud.

Pairing: Shadow/Fleetway Super Sonic

Warnings: None to be had

Word Count: ~1100 words

AN: I feel like no one should be surprised I've done another thing related to Fleetway stuff. This time technically set in the actual StC continuity. Not that it really matters for this thing lol.

Shadow felt his fur stand on end and came skidding to a halt. That feeling could only mean one thing. His mind raced through several questions. The two most prominent being: was everyone ok and what had happened? Well if he was showing up to Shadow then at least he could be reasonably sure that everyone else was fine. In fact it was possible they’d managed to prompt him to look for Shadow if he hadn’t just done so himself.

“Hey there Shads~” A voice that seemed far too forced rang out behind him.

“Why do you insist on showing up at the worst times Super?” Shadow turned to level a glare at the golden hedgehog, hands tightening into fists. Super Sonic simply grinned back, not at all phased by the hostility. Both of them knew that Shadow likely wouldn’t come out on top if they fought. It was an oddly terrifying thought, but one he’d made peace with a long time ago.

“Not happy to see me?” Super tilted his head, a sharp look in his spiral eyes.

“Do I ever give you the impression that I’m glad to see you?” Shadow huffed.

“Do you want a real answer to that? Or the answer you think you want to hear?” Super sounded amused, any trace of annoyance gone. Shadow simply grimaced and Super’s grin grew. “That’s what I thought.” The golden hedgehog draped himself over Shadow’s shoulders from his floating position and Shadow hated that he actually relaxed at the touch. Chaos energy flowed freely between them in a familiar and comforting act. Something that Shadow had resisted at first, but he quickly learned that he stood no chance against Super in this. Plus he could privately admit to himself it was nice. Sure he’d pulled chaos energy from the emeralds before, but that was a somewhat painful experience just due to the nature of such concentrated chaos energy. With Super it wasn’t forced or overwhelming, so naturally it felt… good. 

“Is there a reason you’re here?” Shadow kept his tone neutral despite him feeling himself unwind at Super’s contact.

"Isn't you being here enough of a reason?" Super hummed, pulling Shadow closer to him. Shadow really wished he wanted to pull away but he didn't. Not that Super would let him anyway.

"You know what I meant. Don't deliberately play dumb with me. I thought we were past that?" Shadow tried to swat away Super's hand when the other hedgehog moved to try and mess with his quills. Unfortunately he wasn't trying very hard and Super got his way.

Super hummed, sounding almost bored. "What can I say, Sonic got careless and I had to bail him out as usual. I figure I deserve a reward for being so nice and not trying to kill his stupid friends"

"They're all alright?" Shadow asked, mostly out of a sense of obligation. He was fairly certain he knew the answer though.

"They're no more ruffed up than what Robotnik did to them. As nice as it would have been to go after them I'd much rather come see you." Super moved his hand to scratch behind Shadow's ear. 

Finally Shadow allowed himself to relax completely. If there was one thing he could trust it was Super being honest with him; he simply had no reason to lie. Plus if Super was with him he wasn't hurting anyone. It didn't hurt that he enjoyed the chaos demon's company either. He just couldn't enjoy it fully until he knew Super hadn't hurt anyone. “Fine.” Shadow huffed.

“There you are.” Super chuckled. “Was it really so hard to believe that I didn’t hurt anyone?” There was a clearly forced innocent tone to his voice.

“Do you want the real answer to that? Or the answer you think you want to hear?” Shadow barely held back an amused grin.

“Using my own words against me? How low.” Super growled, but Shadow knew he wasn’t actually upset.

"Being in your presence requires me to stoop to such methods." Shadow sighed. "How long do you have anyway?"

Super hummed. "Not long." He huffed, ears drooping. "Took longer than expected to deal with Robotnik."

"A shame." Shadow honestly wasn't sure how much of his own comment was sarcasm and how much was genuine disappointment.

"Awe, is mister ultimate lifeform sad he can't spend more time with me?" Super practically purred as he gently messed up Shadow's quills.

"Hardly." Shadow batted Super's hand away. Super chuckled but gave up and went back to scratching Shadow's ear.

Super finally let himself land on the ground. Shadow felt the chaos demon's full weight suddenly land on his shoulders. The only reason he didn't complain was because of the exchange of chaos energy forcing him to relax. Well perhaps it wasn't forcing him, but that is certainly what he'd claim if asked. "Is there a reason you still act so mean to me?" Super lifted some of the weight from Shadow's shoulders. "We both know you don't actually hate me."

"You're far more tolerable than Sonic." Shadow huffed. "Though that bar is low."

"Ah yes." Super pulled his arms off of Shadow and walked around to be in front of him. "You've complained about him plenty to me." He sighed happily. "Music to my ears." He pointed at Shadow, finger against his chest. "That's why I like you."

Shadow's eyes trailed down to Super's hand. Without really thinking about it he grabbed Super's hand and pulled it away. Super looked amused until Shadow linked their fingers. The look of shock on the other hedgehog's face made Shadow wish he had a camera. It wasn't often he could catch Super off guard. Shadow rose a brow in question as he fought to keep an amused smile off his face.

Several emotions passed over Super's face, eventually it settled on quiet contemplation. "Huh." The golden hedgehog looked oddly calm. It honestly was sort of nice to see him like that. Shadow in an odd way privileged that he was the only one to see him like this. Well nearly the only one.

"Do you have enough time to visit the Groovy Train? I believe Ebony and Pajamas would be happy to see you." Shadow gently pulled Super to his side.

Super perked up a little bit. "You just want to go there because they let you buy straight coffee beans you nutter." He looked away, his expression morphing into something more neutral.

"I'll take your lack of disagreement as a yes." Shadow did finally let a small smile grace his face. As much as he liked to put up a front he did like Super. It was an odd relationship for sure, but it was one he was glad for. At the very least Super could understand the struggle of trying to keep chaos energy under control.

[isagi-fan-page]

HOLY SHIT THERE'S AN ISAGI FANPAGE??

..sorry lol. anyway, im a big big isagi fan, so i was wondering: what are (in your opinion) the best/worst takes or characterizations you've seen about our beloved striker isagi yoichi?

YES THERE IS AN ISAGI FAN PAGE!!! I love making fan pages <3 I have many

Uh quick note tho: most of the characterization of him I've seen has been via fanfics so I'm not 100% sure about how Tumblr views him, so when I say "the fandom" I mean the fandom I've seen from tag searching ao3

From what I've seen there's 3-4 main ways the fandom takes him and thats: 1 uwu soccer boi twying his best, 2 RAHHH SEX GOD, 3 [insert love interest] omg I live for you never leave meeee, 4 shy boy whos good at shit. Which isn't that bad tbh, other fandoms wouldn't even get close to his character, so while I kinda tear at those interpretations they aren't so far from the mark.

1 I think is mostly from anime onlys because at the start of the anime he's kinda like that and people tend to run w/ their first grasp on a character, also his low self esteem and repetitive losses throughout the season can very easily feed into that. However in the manga as the series carries on he gets more and more skills, he gets more egotistical and confident in his own abilities. So seeing this version annoys me because if anyone in this series is gonna be like that it's Igaguri I mean

Look at him, but even then that'd be a stretch.

2 is just frustrating to see everywhere like calm down

3 stems from wanting to ship characters but not knowing how to write individual ships, so the writer defaults back to a cookie cutter dynamic and sorta fits the characters. It happens in every fandom, with every ship. At least once. It's like rule 34 but the porn is optional.

Ah but it doesn't fit Isagi because he's more than capable of leaving people behind if that's what's best for him, it wouldn't be personal for example him and Bachira play against each other all the time and they play to win but they're both still close after the game. He's able to detach emotions from leaving someone behind which is why when they show up again later he's genuinely happy for them, he still likes them. So for Isagi to be like "nOoOooooo I neeeeeeeeeeedddd youuuuuu" it doesn't make sense. And in regards to the 3v3 game against Rin. He was upset about Bachira being taken I think if Bachira had chosen to be on a different team he wouldn't have been so pissed.

4 is just episode 1 and 2. He outgrows his "shyness" immediately, but it is the closest to canon imo. Because Isagi isn't shy per say but he is aware of his limitations (most of the time) which means he does change his plans to accommodate that, not exactly shy but I can see how one could read it that way.

As a bonus I don't mind the chatfics but I'd like if they gave them text accents. I think Isagi is a no punctuation but uses capitalization For Emphasis kinda guy.

Sorry if I didn't answer this how you wanted but I love yapping about characterization.

I was gonna say how I'd personally characterize Isagi but this is already several paragraphs longer than I'd planned so. another day.

[whirlwindimagines]

Hello! Seeing as your request are still open I thought I'd drop one in! Could I get some hcs about knives with a mostly human soulmate? Like they were experimented on or something and can't die as a result?

Hope you have a good day/night!!

Yessss, let me write about Knives! Thanks for indulging me lolol he's so complicated I love it :) I could fix him. Lol I see you asked for Head cannons and I wrote a whole ass one-shot, I’ll post it later. I’ll be honest I saw Knives and was like yes must write. I also didn’t read the soulmate part, the one-shot isn't about that but this is, and since you didn't say which trope, I picked one! :) and of course, this got long 

Knives with a mostly human soulmate (Soulmate AU Soulmates find each other by touch when you touch for the first time you just know) 

Knives:

You just kind of ended up in Knives group, there was no place for someone like you out in the world you knew that. It was too complicated. Human, but not truly it didn't take people long to see the wrongness with you.

While you didn't agree with everything the Eye of Michael did and stood for it gave you purpose and that’s what you needed. 

You didn't care about the experiments they ran on you; your genetic code had already been fucked with and it simply didn't matter at this point if they wanted to figure you out so be it. 

Keeping to yourself usually, meeting and interacting with Knives had been an accident you weren't looking to stick out, some of the members were more zealous than you, and you weren't into any of that. 

The Doctor wanted to run a test on you, and whatever he found must have been interesting because he left the room telling you to wait right there. You did and when he came back with Million Knives you figured you were fucked. He doesn’t even say anything just grabs your face to look at you, and well now you’re really fucked. It's like a bolt of electricity, you gasp and you watch his eyes widen and he drops his hand as if you burned him. Now you're really fucked. Because this had to be cruel joke soulmates?

You are only a little scared when he grabs you by the arm and drags you out of the room. You can hear the doctor asking questions behind you, but Knives ignores him. When he brings you into a grand room and throws you against a piano your hands hit the keys like a final note.

He doesn’t kill you; Knives doesn’t know what to do with you. Rem had told him and Vash about soulmates, how nobody understood how it worked but was possible no matter what the circumstance. He figured that didn't mean him. 

Thus starts a very rocky relationship between the two of you lol he's possessive, but like it's not like he cares about you. Sure, he makes sure you are safe, and that nobody harasses you, and if the experiments stop, that’s not HIS doing or anything. 

You have no idea what to do with the guy like he's not the nicest but he doesn’t act like he openly hates you??? So, you see how far you can take it lol It starts with kind words, spending more time with him, and soft touches. You’re pushing it and confusing him not that he’ll ever tell you. 

There is a breaking point, you're sent on a mission and well you don't come back. At least not when you were supposed to when you eventually drag yourself back to the base you are nearly half-dead the mission went more than wrong. You can’t die, but that doesn’t mean you are invulnerable to pain. 

You are rushed to medical and Knives feels dread he doesn’t know what to do and for the first time in a long time he feels helpless he hates it and he’s confused by it. He’s the first person you see when you wake up. It’s not super noticeable but there is a shift in your relationship with Knives. He’s softer in a way and more open to talking and being with you. 

It takes a lot of time, and there are a lot of ups and downs but the two of you figure it out. You both never say exactly what it is that you have, but it works and you wouldn’t change it. You sticking by his side, and he's doing the same for you, no harm will come to you while you are with Knives.

[eteisvalssi]

i promised to post some thoughts from both of the concert days at kulttuuritalo so i'm gonna be putting them under a read more :)

saturday 2.3.

i arrived at the venue some time before 9 am

i feel like i always say this but the people that i hang out with at concerts and while queueing are always super nice. i got to know new people, meet mutuals and hang out with so many people i'd gotten to know at previous gigs i'd been to

just remembered that i think i forgot to thank @king-krisu for letting me tag along to their apartment to warm up my pizza that tasted like cardboard so i'm doing it now, kiitos!

buying hand and foot warmers for the queueing was the best purchase ever

when we were let inside, the staff was apparently not informed on where the cloakroom was actually open and if people who were over 18 but didn't have the ticket could go to the +18 side and everything was just a mess and ppl were running around and didn't know where to go

i did get front row on kris' side and it was actually my first time there, i'd always been on jan and nace's side before that

i've listened to pilvet pilvet for a while now and i was so happy to actually see them live, couldn't ask for a better opener

jc stewart was also very good! i'd never heard of him or his songs before but i tried to learn some of them before the gig lol

i feel like we've all seen so much from the soundcheck and gigs from videos and photos that i don't really have that much to add

when kiki came to put the setlist right in front of us we were like no it can't be this short they're definitely gonna play more songs. and they didn't 🥲

it was so nice to see them all actually move around a lot more now that they could

kris kicked straight towards me multiple times during the show and i kept thinking what have i done to deserve this

i completely fell in love with šta bih ja and bluza was so good too!!!

jan and bojan playing the piano <3

as the first gig on tour i kinda felt like they were still warming up after not performing for a while but still it was so good and i loved this concert so much

after the concert i went out with some friends i first met at the gig in tampere on the nordic tour :)

sunday 3.3.

i was supposed to go hang out in the queue for the day but i slept so bad and i was honestly in a bad mood because of that so i just stayed in bed for the whole day until it was time to leave to the venue with my friend and we were there just before the doors opened

i already posted my friend's thoughts from the show as a non-fan and you can find it here

i have a lot of thoughts that i wrote down on monday about going to a concert as a fan with a non-fan vs. alone but i'm not gonna be yapping about it in this post

i was kinda far back and i'm short so i didn't really see that well and i made the mistake of wearing a hoodie instead of what i was planning to wear so it was also extremely hot

this setlist was more to my taste with barve oceana and padam

the new song took me straight on a cruise ship to sweden

when they announced ruisrock the response of the audience was so loud!

i had a fan with me and i was fanning myself during vse kar vem and i just saw bojan looking at me kinda worried but when he saw me singing along he smiled and i almost started crying

i feel like they were more relaxed during this concert and that's understandable with the first concert being more of a rehearsal as the first concert of the whole tour

when we got out literally everyone was freaking out about everything that happened and saying how much better it was than yesterday

i was so tired and felt kinda sick that we just went to get some food after sitting down for a while and then i went back to my hotel room and that was it

overall i had a such a fun weekend! thanks to everyone who i spent time with <3 would've loved to talk to even more of you guys! next up is london and of course ruisrock in the summer :)

[always-is-always]

Watching original content...

Some of the bloggers that I follow here talk about how important it is to watch original content. It seems to be an obvious thing to do, yet many never go quite that far. Especially some of the fringe people who are hyper-focused upon a single member or a particular relationship within Bangtan.

All I can say is that it does matter, whether one sees original content, or not. When a person relies only on compilations, videos that are created with a particular "focus" (relationship or idol), analysis videos, and content that has incorrect translations or interpretations, then the person is going to have a very distorted view of things.

I know as I've been there..... not realizing what I was viewing as a pre-baby ARMY. (I didn't even know what it meant to be "ARMY".) That YouTube algorythym that can take a person down rabbit holes that have never been explored, you know. Yeah. So I watched a ton of videos on all sorts of things related to BTS, before I was on this platform, and before I really had a grasp on what any of it meant.

Thankfully, one of those YT channels recommended Dalloga's blog here on Tumblr, as she is known for her translations and clarifications on Korean language and culture. I managed to find her blog, not having any clue what Tumblr was. lol It took me over a year get the nerve to create my account, and then another year before I started to follow people and post.

So yeah....As an English-speaking woman living in the States, I had a HUGE learning curve to navigate, and much of it had to do with understanding the culture around BTS. I had to learn what a "bias" was, what "shipping" meant, what the heck those combined names meant 😆 (Jikook, Taekook, Jinkook, etc., etc.), and none of it really made sense to me. Here in the US, we don't have anything quite like the culture around K-Pop. Even now, I don't get the total attachment to labels in the fandom.

So what is the point to these words?

I am finally making my way through some original content that I have never watched before. Yay for me! 🎉

Having watched BV season 1 last week, I just finished season 2 of Bon Voyage last night, and OMG. To watch from beginning to end, to see everthing as it was and not chopped up and edited to fit a storyline someone has created, has been so awesome. It's been even more eye-opening given where we currently are in the BTS timeline (everyone in the military).

And, I see dynamics and moments in their original context which helps to clarify my understanding of things. Yeah. Clarity and understanding... always a good thing.

I understand how some have mis-interpreted certain things.

I'm going to navigate away from making big statements here, that would lead down some rabbit holes that I'd rather not explore. There are plenty here on this platform who have done it already, and it's not my forte. I'll just say that it is always a good choice to look at original content, and just let it be what it is. The reminder here is that they never show everything. What we see is but a glimpse....

These months that we have on-hand are a prime time to take the deep dive into original content. Perhaps it is a re-visit for some folks.

I'm going to do my homework, and learn what I can, via tons of episodes of BV, RUN BTS, and anything else I can put my hands on. It's going to be a fun journey! 💜💜💜

[dnalt-d2]

SO QSMP PRISON, RIGHT???

Day 1 Edition lmao

To start off with, I'm really happy to hear my little theory about the Prison essentially being the safeguard for the Islanders against the Eye Workers was correct (Or at least seems to be so far)

But now for my thoughts on TODAY

THE FIRST DAY OF THIS FOUR THREE(?) DAY LONG EVENT (More on that later)

First off, who else thinks it's incredibly weird the Watcher was suddenly British?? He was DEFINITELY not British before, and unless this was just some unavoidable thing they had to do for just today, that probably means something

Specifically that this might not actually BE the Watcher. Or at least not the same Watcher. Even aside from the voice difference, the way he talked seemed to be a little different to me. I'm not sure what this could mean Lore-wise, or if it means anything at all, but I just really wanted to bring attention to it in case it was

Secondly, am I the only one who felt like today was just too…Casual? For lack of a better word. This didn't feel like some big thing the way Purgatory did. For better, in my opinion. But it's still strange that this feels so lackadaisical considering the circumstances. All the Islanders, and the Eggs are locked up, with the Federation keeping them under lock and key and being MORE THAN GENEROUS with the use of deadly force

(RIP BBH and IronMouse. RIP Over and over and over and over-)

Idk, the vibes here feel really weird to me, and I'm not sure what to make of that either. Like maybe someone's trying to downplay how serious this is all gonna be in the long run. It's hard to put into words

Though I will say they were very FUN vibes regardless. This was fucking hilarious and I enjoyed just about every second I saw of it. Short as it was (Poor BBH once again, having his time cut short. What will he even do for the other 20 hours of the day if he only gets this much time in the server? Certainly not sleep, I imagine lol)

There's also the mystery of that ghost (Cellbit) that's haunting the place, but again, Idk if this is a lore thing, or Cellbit wanting to get in on the action even though canonically, his character is off being insane on Purgatory. He might be kinda the same way Abueloier is most of the time, you know?? I feel like he's definitely gonna be related to any lore that happens, but at the same time, I'm not too sure I'd be surprised if that wasn't the case either

(Just to point out, I don't think Abueloier is related to the Lore. Roier just wanting to screw around, and frankly, power to him. Even IF Ratoier would've gone hella hard here. Fuckin rat in the prison robbing people at gunpoint would've been HILARIOUS and I really hope to see it before the event is done)

Though this kinda brings me back to my second point, that I'm actually having a hard time telling if stuff that's happening is Lore, or just players/admins screwing around or changing things for the sake of content or otherwise

Usually, I'm pretty good at discerning what is and isn't incidental, but here, I've said at least a few times now that idk what is and isn't lore. And I think that's kinda what's contributing to this whole thing feeling off to me. (Not in a bad way, I wanna reiterate. I'm having a hell of a lot of fun here)

So yeah, to wrap up my thoughts on this, Prison is fun so far, and I can't wait for the insanity to continue tomorrow

(And note: I do have one additional thing to say about this event as well, but I wanna put that in a separate post so I can make sure I've got all my thoughts together)

Now back to our own Purgatory of waiting for Day 2

[paradoxcase]

Gideon the Ninth audiobook reactions

I listened for a little over an hour, to the end of Chapter 3, and so far it's been great. It's a little odd making notes for what I think about it though - with the ebook I could visually skim over what I read before and take specific screenshots and everything, currently I've just been taking notes in a text editor and it's a little awkward. I had to look back at the pronunciation guide, which was also a little awkward, since the audiobooks are on my linux partition now and the Nook app is on Windows, so I keep having to reboot. I think I decided that for my next computer I'm not going to partition and will just run linux in VM

Anyway, for the name pronunciations:

Nonagesimus: Yeah, that pronunciation is going to bother me, but realistically I think she is going to be saying it so often that I'll just get used it it

Aiglamene: This was stressed on a syllable I didn't expect, but after consulting the pronunciation guide, that is how it was described and I was just wrong. Woe

Glaurica: Not how I pronounced the au. I note there's no instruction in the pronunciation guide about how to pronounce the au, the "phonetic" spelling also just says "au"

Palamedes: Also stressed on a syllable I didn't choose, but I knew full well that that was how the pronunciation guide said to pronounce it and was just in denial. I don't know if I'll get used to this one, we'll have to see

Character voice opinions:

I love Crux, he sounds kind of like Locked Tomb Gollum who doesn't double-mark plurals

I always headcanoned Gideon as having a low voice, probably because I have a low voice I want to see more representation for women with naturally low voices, this audiobook is not giving me that and I just have to accept it. Otherwise it's pretty good, although it's not always distinct from the narration

Aiglamene's voice is perfect

Harrow is also pretty good, but I'm curious if it will change when the main person she's interacting with is Ianthe, because right now it's very aristocratic and I feel like that would sort of overshadow Ianthe being even more aristocratic

The Glaurica voice was great

I'm not sure how I feel about Ortus's voice, but I guess I'll have to wait for the next book to reassess that first impression, since Ortus is now officially gone for the next 16 hours

Just regular stuff about the text that is hitting different a second time:

The Eighth House being described as "The Forgiving House" in the Dramatis Personae made me go "lol nope". Also it feels like a, uh, call-forward, I guess, to Mercy talking about forgiving John

The book opens in the year 10,000. I remember being Gideon and Harrow's age when we got to the year 2000, and we were all having endless arguments about whether the millennium actually began in 2000, or 2001. Why are none of the nerdy young people in this book getting really overinvested in the question of what is the actual first year of the myriad? I can see Harrow and Gideon having an incredibly violent argument about this and it would have been a great callback to some early aughts culture, which is something this book absolutely loves to do

Not really hitting different, but even after reading the whole thing I am still mystified by Gideon's apparent knowledge of Pluto's seasons

At some point it said "they chipped her". Did they put a tracking chip in Gideon, like you do with a cat?

Harrow says "I swear by my mother I have nothing on me" but Gideon was asking her to confirm that it was a fair fight, and it absolutely wasn't, haha

"My parents should have suffocated you" followed by "I'd like to see them try that now." Oof

Harrow saying "my parents have been waiting long enough" at the end of Chapter 2 hits a bit different when you already know at this point that they are dead and its their zombies that are waiting to be puppeted by Harrow. And everyone in the room knows this, she's not like pretending her parents are still alive for the benefit of some random nuns who aren't in the know

"In the Ninth everyone knew [cavaliers] were chosen for how many bones [they] could hump around" - I remember last time someone filled me in on this after Gideon's fight with Naberius and someone else said it was a spoiler, but it's actually stated quite plainly in Chapter 3

[batsplat]

regarding your post about marc not having to engage in undermining his teammates too much bc lack of competitiveness, i first immediately thought of everyone's favorite running joke, "marc accepted bad honda parts bc he could ride over them but they fucked with his teammate" which is honestly the funniest way one could fuck with ones objectively "worse" teammate... like i didn't do anything, is it MY fault he cant ride his bike??? maybe he should find another job, then, what do i have to do with that? god, he's hilarious...

and it also made me think of the ducati move, pecco saying that he wants his new teammate to "keep the harmony" they built the past years and marc, when asked about that, saying "when your teammate is actually competitive, you cannot be harmonious on track, and anyone who says so is a lying liar who lies" (poor enea) (marc, where do you even take that experience from, none of your teammates bar dani in your rookie season were "actually competitive" against you?)... i wonder if next year we will see a meaner, more vicious version of marc, bc i do fear pecco will not be falling into "not competitive enough to bother fucking with" category and i'm both scared and rubbing my hands brow cocked grinning wildly cause heheheheheeeeee

(x) yeah, it's great! he did manage to completely make honda dependent on him, which is an incredible power move with such a traditionally dominant manufacturer! all possible only because he had such a unique riding style and silly amounts of talent, like you say it's quite the flex. though it's all become a bit tougher to stomach ever since they managed to build a bike that nobody including marc has been able to ride properly... well, I already talked about that stuff here. but I suppose that's their problem now, and the good times were pretty good while they lasted. and his approach did very much cement his role internally! they needed him more than he needed them - conceptually fun and satisfying when a rider has that level of fuck you skill that their absence would plunge a manufacturer into crisis. admittedly less fun and satisfying in practise when that absence is caused by an injury but. you know

anyway, yeah, ducati! obviously pecco had someone specific in mind when he was talking about 'harmony in the team'... and of course, yes, it's hardly going to be a comfortable experience for him. pecco is sensible enough that he would have preferred not to have marc marquez as a teammate, though I do think he does probably have more complicated feelings than that about the whole thing... he's thought a lot about his role in the sport, what his legacy will look like, at times revealed a fair bit of insecurity in how he shapes up when compared to the past greats of the sport. at the end of the day, it's hard to come up with a better way to prove yourself than taking on marc marquez as a teammate and winning. and of course he will believe that he can do it. you can't get that far without insane confidence, he's a multiple time premier class champ for a reason. the only thing I'd add is that marc is still performing a bit of a sleight of hand by pretending like all the conflict will be purely on-track lol. like of course he does like to use this line about how perfectly he can separate everything out... but at the end of the day he'll use everything in his arsenal to get the upper hand, and he really doesn't limit himself to races there

y'know, anon, it's funny because I've had pretty much the same reactions as you in the second paragraph. I still fully believe that part of the reason why marc has had less 'overt' feuding in his career is because he's had less need for it, and one of my like. top three big hopes for the rest of his career is that he's just in that competitive sweet spot where his back is against the wall and we can see how he'll react... there was always the worry with him that he'd just be far far too good until he ended his career via injury - and that looked like it would be happening for a while there. this is the thing, right, nobody really feuds when they're the obvious class of the field - or at least it's a lot less likely. perhaps the three most enjoyable valentino titles are 2004, 2008 and 2009 (if not the most enjoyable valentino seasons, 800cc did have some painfully mid racing). those three are really the ones where he had to get his hands dirty because he didn't have a clear pace advantage. (well, okay, also 2001 with the biaggi title fight and feud but he's still more of a kid there, less clever gamesmanship and more just being a bit of a dick.) I do kind of need the rest of the field to stand up and not let a 32-year old dominate next year. put marc in a position where he really has to fight for it... I want to see him having to do some stage managing of seasons (like valentino became increasingly adept at doing), really get into the nitty gritty of manipulating momentum and picking his moments and having to use his full tool set to figure it out. he has all the tools right there, he's shown it! but so often we've only seen glimpses, because he really hasn't had to go any further... there's so much more potential there, I swear...

but, yes, I'm also not really confident that this is going to happen... I mean, look, I rate pecco I really do, I've been a long time pecco believer... though what being a 'pecco believer' even involves has shifted pretty radically over time, which is kind of what makes his journey so fun, right... he doesn't really fit in the mould of other premier class champions this century. yes, he showed immediate pace in pre-season 2019 - but with every single other champ this century (save maybe hayden), you just have these flashes of something very early in their premier class careers. something special, in race trim not just in testing. it's interesting seeing how pecco's built himself up over the years, how he's really worked away at becoming the kind of rider who can fight for titles on a consistent basis... but because he doesn't really fit into anyone's preconceived notions of what a motogp great's career looks like, it's quite easy to underrate him and underestimate how effective an operator he is. he has a knack for defying expectations, both in the positive and negative sense - but you can't even just call him inconsistent, because sometimes he defies your expectations by being way more consistent than you thought he had the capacity for being. both incredibly methodical and painfully flaky, you never know what you'll get from him... which quite frankly means I also don't know what he's going to do next year. never mind the raw pace, it'd be a good start if he could figure out how to put together a complete season. just... once. as a treat

anyway... this wasn't supposed to be a pecco rant, though I do always have a pecco rant in my soul... look, my point here is that I too can see marc just kind of crushing pecco - because however highly I rate pecco, of course marc has that kind of fuck you once in a generation talent it's unwise to bet against in any era. but hey, maybe pecco will at least make a contest out of it... on the plus side, marc will a) be highly motivated to assert himself within the team at least at the very start of 2025, which should be fun whatever happens for a while, and b) probably not go light on pecco if given the slightest opening. so... so I think we can dream. 'I wonder if next year we will see a meaner, more vicious version of marc' me!! too!! I had a line I cut out from the mind games post about how with any luck we could be entering into the marc marquez golden era of mind games. if not with pecco, then with the new kid! marc's still got another feud in him, he's not that old... the future looks bright again, I believe in him