#I'd let him ramble about the circus all he wants

[decaf-mother]

I need to platonically cuddle with Kurt Wagner. I just know he'd be so cozy and it'd just be nice to snuggle and be besties. I don't need to be romanced by him- I need to be held by the blue guy. Please. He's just too adorable with his sharp ass teeth and demonic tail and teleporting all over the place.

[twistedbunni]

*~Filling the Loneliness~*

A Buggy x gn!reader

Tags: mix of angst, smut and fluff basically, a bit of voyeurism too

A/n: excuse mistakes I'm very rusty at writing but this damn clown has a chokehold on my mind. I wrote this with LABuggy in mind but it could fit Anime buggy as well tbh. The only derogatory word the user is called is sl*t and it's only used once.

Word count: 6683

It was just another day of work, managing the costume shop that you'd come to own somehow. It was a relatively good sized shop, selling a variety of clothing one might use for performances or wear to the masquerade themed parties the town held every week.

Your little costal town had been unofficially deemed a safe space for pirates to come dock without having to worry about being captured for bounty or fought off by other pirates. Hence why the town threw celebrations themed around casting aside one's identity to just enjoy a night of drinking and having fun without a worry for their own safety.

You never cared to attend the celebrations, instead using the time to do trivial tasks around the shop like checking inventory or working on new masks or makeups to sell. You were doing such right now infact.

Behind the counter you sat, working on some paperwork you needed to finish, calculating what had sold best this week compared to last week.

"Welcome in!" You called out when you heard the squeaking of the shop's old door opening, but did not glance up to check whom had come in. "I'll be with you in a moment, feel free to look around and let me know if you need any assistance finding what you need."

Footsteps approached the counter followed by the creaking of someone leaning against the counter across from you. "Actually doll you can help me, I came to get my usual order of things. So where's ole Petey?"

Keeping your eyes still glued to your papers you continued to work as you replied. "That old coot's dead. Died bout 3 weeks ago after drinking himself into a damn stupor and falling into the sea. So I'm in charge of this place now unfortunately, seeing as I was his only employee."

You heard a chuckle "That damn old man. I tried to warn him something would happen but I suppose he got what he deserves after partying too hard even at his old age."

"Got that right. Sure he was a good boss but the bastard drank more than any pirate that visits town." You scoffed finishing up your work and setting it aside. Finally looking up you instantly recognized the man before you. "Now how can I help- oh it's you."

The man stood up straight, fixing his coat proudly with a grin. "I see you know of the Great and flashy Buggy. Of course you would, I mean who wouldn't?"

Placing a hand on your hip as you stood from your seat, smiling back at the Clown pirate. "The boss never seemed to shut up about you, constantly talking about how you were his best customer.... amongst other things I'd rather not repeat."

His face fell a bit at your hinting of the old owner saying less than honorable things about him.

"Don't worry, I never took his rambling of you to heart. He was always a cranky drunkard who'd complain about anything or anyone he could." You reached over and patted Buggy on the shoulder reassuringly, before motioning to the backroom with a thumb. "Thankfully that man made notes about his regulars preferences so I'll be right back. Just gonna go grab em real quick so I can get you what you need without all the hassle of you having to explain your likes and dislikes of products to me."

The tall clown gave a nod, watching you disappear into the back of the shop. Taking the opportunity to glance around at the stock around him, mentally taking note of what had changed since he'd last been here about 3 months ago.

After a few minutes you returned holding his wanted poster, reading the scrawling of notes written on the back of it. "Let's see, looks like you prefer the typical Circus clown makeup, of course long lasting and as smudge proof as possible. Though we don't carry one of these brands anymore...-" You were deep in thought now mumbling as you moved around the shop grabbing the items noted on Buggy's preference sheet.

The said Clown Pirate stood leaning on the front counter, watching you zip around like a little mouse searching for all the usual products he buys. He had to admit you looked quite cute all worked up and focused on your job like that.

"The only thing we don't have from this list is the white face paint, but have no fear my good man for you're in luck." You placed down the small basket of products before him. You gave a small 'boop' to his nose with your finger before proudly crossing your arms. "I happen to make my own white face paint, and am willing to give you my latest batch if your interested."

"Oh really? And just what do you know about clown makeup little shop keep?" He asked you smugly, with a smirk

"A lot more than you think bozo. I was a mime for ten years, hence my fashion sense idiot." You gestured to yourself and your choice of clothing.

He admittedly hadn't really paid attention to what exactly you were wearing, more distracted by your actions and words. Though now he could see you were wearing black pants, that were doing wonders to make your thighs look great, and a oversized longsleeved striped black and white shirt, with some subtle mime makeup. "Huh. I hadn't even noticed."

You stood there silent for a second, before reaching up to pat his cheek a bit mockingly. "It's a good thing your attractive, cause you sure aren't that observant are ya bud?"

The man was thrown off guard at the fact you'd just complimented him, albeit also insulting him along with it. Usually he's the one being somewhat cheeky and flirty to others with no prevail, but here you were just casually complimenting him like it was nothing.

You moved back behind the counter, pulling a container of white paint, a handheld mirror, a few brushes as well as sponges, and a damp rag. "Well here let me show you just what I actually know about clown makeup."

Before Buggy could even process what was going on, you'd already snatched his head off his shoulders, now holding it between your hands. "Hey- Just what do you think your doing?!" He spat out at you in an annoyed tone, head already trying to wiggle free from your grasp.

"Take it easy hot stuff, you're too tall for me to do your makeup if your standing. I'm simply making this easier for both of us." You took a seat in your chair, laying Buggy's head on your lap between your thighs so he was facing upwards. "If you're a good boy who stays still I may even give you treat."

"Forward aren't we? Already putting my head between your legs and I've only just met you. I mean I know I'm flashy and all but I didn't realize I was having such an affect on you babe." He teases as the both of blush a bit at the position your in.

"Oh shut up, fool. Only in your dreams would your head actually be allowed between my legs in such a sinful manner." You cut off any reply he could give by begining to gently wipe the makeup off his face with the damp rag you'd pulled out previously. You made sure not to rub too hard as you scrubbed his face clean, though the red on his nose wasn't coming off at all.

He picked up on your confusion, rolling his eyes and sighing a bit annoyed. "That's not makeup sweetheart. My nose is just naturally big and red."

You smiled sheepishly. "Heh, sorry. I knew it was your natural nose I just didn't think it was naturally red as well."

"Yea yea, crack your jokes now about it so I don't have to hear them later" His eyes were looking elsewhere as he spoke, avoiding your gaze as much as he could.

You paused, looking into his eyes till he eventually gave in, making eye contact with you. "Why would I joke about something you can't control or change about yourself?"

"Cause everyone else does so why wouldn't you as well?" He stated matter of factly, while studying your gaze, seeing a flash of hurt for him in your eyes.

"Well, I'm not everyone else." Shifting your gaze to look at his nose for a second, and smiling faintly as you spoke. "In fact I think it's cute to be honest. Seeing it up close somewhat makes me want to give you a kiss right on it."

Buggy was well and truly lost for words now, just a blushing mess that was forced to look right at you. You just let him stay like that, giggling softly at his cheeks that seemed to be almost as red as his nose, before you finally gave him some sort of mercy by applying new makeup to his warmed face. The both of you stayed silent during the whole thing, you concentrating on the paint you were applying to Buggy's face as his head laid there in your lap, him studying every inch of your face as you worked.

He had to admit he was trying to memorize every little detail of your face, from the color of your eyes, to every little twitch of your lips while you focused, the way your tongue would poke out slightly and brow furrowed when you were painting thinner lines. He was trying to savor this moment while he could, knowing there was never a moment like this before nor would he ever possibly experience anything like this again. No one was or ever would treat him with such care and attention as you were currently, this truly was a once in a lifetime thing for him and he wanted to remember it forever.

Eventually you finished, putting down the paint brushes, and lifting the clowns head up in your hands to admire your masterpiece. A smile formed on your lips as you stood, moving to reunite Buggy's head to his body again and handed him the handheld mirror.

"Pretty good huh?" You spoke as he looked at your handy work.

You did the exact same look he had on before but there was a noticeable difference between his work and yours. His makeup had looked more messy and somewhat smudged before, as if he practically lived in it, where as now the lines were crisp and colors vibrant. He looked like a clown people would smile and laugh with, no longer one people feared instantly.

"Damn sweetheart, you're even better with your hands than I thought." He teased as he handed you back the mirror, giving you a wink and click of his tongue.

You winked back at him with a smirk. "Don't give me all the credit, I mean I had quite the attractive canvas to work with."

"You seem to really enjoy flattering me." His head cocked curiously at you "Or are you just this flirty with all your customers?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, starting to clean up the counter and repackage the products you used on him. "Nah, just you Buggy. I guess you could say I have a thing for clowns."

A floating hand grabbed your chin gently, guiding your gaze back to it's owner, whom was now leaning in dangerously close to your face. "Hmm, well too bad for you. I don't have a thing for chatty mimes."

He could have sworn your gaze had flicked to his lips for a moment before you licked your own, but he'd chalk it up to his desperately lonely mind imagining things. The hand let you go, reattaching itself as Buggy stepped back, away from the counter. You took a minute to snap back to reality, then went back to packing up his order.

The pirate began to roam a little, looking at all the different costumes and masks you had displayed around the shop. Maybe he could get a few new outfits for some of the crew before they all head back out to sea in a few days. Hell maybe he'd get himself a new flashier coat too, one that would really wow the audience when he makes his grand entrance every night.

"Got everything you need packed up and ready for you. Did you want to get anything else?" Your voice pulling him from his thoughts and luring him back over to you.

"Was thinking bout a new coat, something flashy, but I'll hold off till tomorrow on that." He spoke, pulling out a few coins to pay you with.

"Oh good! So I will get to see you again." A smile formed on your lips as you took the payment and slid the box of merchandise over to him.

"Of course! I would never deny a fan from seeing my greatness up close in person." He takes a dramatic bow towards you, before placing one hand over his heart. "What kind of performer would I be if I did such a thing?"

You just laughed at his theatrics, shaking your head a bit.

He grabs the box off the counter and headed to the door, turning to bid you farewell. "You've been a wonderful audience, but it's time for me to take my grand exit unfortunately."

"Farewell Captain Buggy. I'll be waiting patiently till your next performance." You give a small round of applause for him as he leaves.

You stand there for a minute or two, replaying the whole interaction in your head, letting out a frustrated cry when you realize something. "FUCK! I NEVER TOLD HIM MY NAME!!"

"Didn't tell whom your name?" A voice says, causing you to jump.

Turning you see famed pirate Mihawk, you jump once more. "Ah! Sorry sir! I didn't hear you come in, my apologies."

"It's quite alright, I will not fault you for being so lost in thought in your own store." He stoically dismissed your concerned apology, removing his hat and placing it on the counter. "I seem to have gotten a bit careless earlier and somehow got a cut in my hat. Am I correct to assume this is the place I can get it fixed up nicely and quickly?"

Looking at the mentioned cut you assessed it was something that you could indeed repair, and quite quickly. "Yes, I do not believe this will take me that long to patch up, and I'll make it as unnoticeable as possible of course. Give me about an hour and I'll have it good as new sir."

"Very good, I shall be back then." He gave a curt nod before leaving, and as soon as he was out the door, you immediately set to work on fixing the hole in his hat.

After one hour had past exactly, Mihawk came strolling back in, gaining the attention of the few locals that had come in to browse.

"Perfect timing I finished a mere moment ago." You handed him back his hat, watching as he inspected your craftsmanship intensely.

A smirk cracked on his lips as he glanced back up at you. "Very well done, you can not even tell it is there unless you look extremely closely at it. Of course no one will ever be close enough for that, so you have my thanks." He placed a hefty amount of money in your hands before leaving.

"Whoa! That guy's intense!" One of locals muttered as they came to the counter.

"Yes he is, but thankfully I was able to do a good repair job." You replied, starting to ring up the items they'd set down.

"He seemed quite pleased with your work, maybe he'd be willing to dance with ya at the celebration tonight." Someone else chimed in, as they got in line to be rung up.

"Don't be ridiculous. That man is much too serious for my liking, I'd feel on edge the whole time." You shuttered slightly at the thought. "I never go to any of the parties in town anyways, but even if I did I'd rather spend my time around someone more akin to Buggy honestly."

A scoff could be heard, followed by a disgusted toned response. "Really that loser? He's a pretty sorry excuse for a pirate don't ya think?"

A few other insults and comments were thrown in agreement by others in the shop.

"HEY, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You shouted, causing everyone to jump and go quiet. "If y'all want to shit talk that man then: GET.. OUT..OF..MY..SHOP!" you put emphasis on those last words, pointing your gaze to each person, whom was just talking, with each word.

A few people gulped in fear at what you might do if they say anything more.

"Captain Buggy is a highly valued customer here, so if you want to run your mouths like that about him in front of me then there will not only be hell to pay, but you will also be banned from my shop for life."

Everyone remained silent and somewhat timid of you until they left the store thankfully.

God did that get you're blood boiling, and you weren't entirely sure why. Maybe it was the fact that the clown had just been in here early and then suddenly everyone's throwing around insults about him. Or maybe it was more so the fact that Buggy had wormed into your heart quite easily during the earlier interaction you'd had with him. Whatever it was, it caused you to be uncharacteristically protective of someone other than yourself or the few people you were actually fairly close to. He was risking his life out at sea, putting on showy performances of a lifetime, while everyone in town here just partied and got drunk constantly, yet they'd all looked down upon Buggy in distain.

Shaking your head clear of your thoughts, you began to occupy your time by sketching ideas and designs for costume pieces you could make to sell. Eventually you found yourself drafting up some designs for a flashy coat you'd think a certain blue haired pirate captain might not only enjoy but also look great in.

The squeaking of the door could be heard, pulling you from your current sketching, you looked up to find Buggy back in the shop.

Your face instantly lit up with a smile upon seeing him. "Hey there handsome, I thought you wouldn't be back till tomorrow."

He smiled back at you, making his way over to lean on the counter across from you. "Well what can I say? I was craving the love of an audience... well that and I realized you never gave me that treat for being a 'good boy' like you said earlier."

"Oh and just what kind of treat would the marvelous Buggy the Clown like?" You stood up, making your way around the counter to stand in front of him, placing your hands on your hips. "Maybe something like a free pair of gloves, or a discount on one of the pricer costume pieces, or maybe even a specially made mask that will fit around your cute nose?" At the mention of his nose you gave it a small 'boop' with your finger.

He gently grabbed the hand you used to tap his nose, holding in his as he looked into your eyes. "Actually I was more so hoping for that kiss you claimed you wanted to give me. Ya know the one you you said you want to give me on my nose you seem to like so much."

"Oh-" You were caught off guard a bit, in a good way however as it caused you to blush. "I suppose I can do that, yea.."

A wide smile grew on his face as you placed your hands on his shoulders, leaning up to place a small kiss to his bulbus red nose. You'd only pulled back a few inches away from his face, looking into his eyes for a moment before a mutual pull had you both leaning back in and connecting your lips. It was a sweet kiss, that lasted for what felt like hours but was probably only a minute or two in reality, though it left you both speechless for a moment.

"Uh wow, I um- wasn't expecting that sorry." Buggy said, breaking the calm silence you'd been in.

"Heh, yea me either, but I enjoyed it so don't apologize." You slid your hands up to cup his cheeks on either side of his head. Something felt weird though when you did. "Uh not to ruin the moment but you seem to be missing an ear..."

A nervous chuckle came from him. "Heh, about that..." He stopped speaking for a moment a bit embarrassed as his missing ear seemed to zip out of your back pocket and back to his head. "I kind of left it here earlier."

"When did you put that there?" You were more shocked at how it got his ear into your pocket without you knowing, than you were mad at him for seemingly spying on you.

"I did it while you were distracted with my theatrics of leaving." He smiled sheepishly. "I heard you defending my honor so to speak and felt bad about the whole spying thing after that so I decided to come back."

"Hmm, if you say so~" You squinted at him, being jokingly skeptical of his words.

"I'm willing to make up for the spying in anyway you want." He held his hands up, seemingly in a playful surrender.

You faked thinking really hard for a moment, before smiling and giving your response. "I suppose you can give me another kiss, then I'll forgive you."

A shit-eating grin plastered itself across Buggy's face, while his hands now detached pulled you close to him by your waist. "Oh that I'd me more than happy to do."

The two of you shared in another sweet kiss, this one with a bit more passion pouring from both of you. Neither of you wanted to be the first to pull away, though eventually when your lips had parted from each other's you remained there holding each other still.

A pit started to form in your stomach, the kiss was great sure but you hardly knew him. For all you know he could have a spouse and kids somewhere, yet here you were openly flirting and kissing him without even a second thought. There'd always been a sort of loneliness in you, always craving the love of another but never being able to find it. You had small flings during the time you were a mime, ridding yourself of that lonely feeling for short periods with the fleeting intimacy of your fellow performers. Though it had grown especially harder since you had moved here, to fight off that ache, no longer having the trusted company of others, only visiting pirates that brought danger with them and the townsfolk who only ever seem to care about partying their troubles away.

Then Buggy came in and you couldn't help latching on to the hope that those rumors of him being less of a threatening force were correct. Thinking he might be easier to approach, that he wouldn't be a threat to your own safety, and you could use him easily to fill that void again for at least the night. There would be no worry about catching feelings considering he only comes for supplies every few months from what you'd heard, and he surely would or has met others who catch his eye far better than you ever could.

It was all starting to make you feel guilty the more you thought about it. "I'm sorry Buggy."

His expression flushed with confusion. "Huh? What are you apologizing for?"

"I'm sorry that I don't fear you." You moved out of his grasp slowly, gaze now shifted to the floor.

More confusion. "How is that a bad thing exactly?"

A sigh escaped from you, back now facing the puzzled pirate. "Every other pirate that comes to town leaves me feeling on edge. Sure this town might be big on reputations not mattering here but I can't help but fear for my life around the few pirates that do come in to this little shop. You must have heard the fear I felt earlier over Mihawk's visit, yet I was completely at peace when I saw you. I guess I let the gossip people say about you being less threatening or less strong as others affect how I saw you. I kind of used you somewhat for my own selfish desires today or was at least planning on to."

"What do you mean by that exactly?" You couldn't read his emotion in his voice and you dated not look back at him.

"I've always longed to experience love but I never have been able to. I use to sleep around with my fellow performers to chase off my feelings of loneliness, though I can't do that anymore since I've moved to this town. The pirates bring too much uncertainty with them and the locals are all a bunch of careless party animals, but you've been described as somewhat of a push over. In my subconscious I guess I thought I could use you like a toy to make myself feel better with out caring about your own feelings since we're both pathetic cowards." As you spoke tears began softly falling from your eyes, causing your own makeup to become a mess. "I was wrong to think that though, and I realized it after you kissed me again. You don't deserve to be treated so poorly, especially not by me. I'm sorry Buggy for thinking so little of you, when in reality you are far greater than me."

Silence. No response from the man came, only the sound of you sniffing filled the air for what seemed like forever. Though finally detached gloved hands came to rest on your shoulders, snaking their way up your neck to cup your cheeks and wipe away your tears. Handless arms wrapping themselves around your waist from behind as Buggy's head floated Infront of you, looking into your eyes.

"It's okay sweetheart, there's no need to get so worked up over lil ole me. in all honesty I can't blame you or hate you at all for wanting to use me. I mean I would have used you right back." A bit of guilt hid behind his gaze, a small comforting smile on his painted lips. "I know I'm the great Buggy the Clown, but I'm in the exact same boat as you. Searching selfishly for small cures to fix the deep desire of wanting to be loved by someone. I've honestly used so many random people along my journey, never caring how'd they feel when I'd be gone the next day, never to see any of them again. There's no telling if I'd have ended up doing the same to you or not."

Staying there you a moment, both of you processing what you'd each admitted to, you could help but feel drawn to him again. Even if it was wrong of you to do considering all you'd said just now, you couldn't help but to reach up to cup his floating head, guiding his face towards yours again before kissing him.

"I'm sorry, i-" You started, but he cut you off.

"Don't be.." He said, connecting his lips back to yours again.

The kiss quickly turned passionate, it was clear that you both need this right now and there would be no resistance from either one of you. When you'd broken apart for a moment to catch your breaths, Buggy took the chance to spin you around and put himself together again. Now that your chests were pressing together, he recaptured your lips as one hand flew over to lock the shop's door and flip the sign to closed, before coming back to join the other hand in grabbing your ass. Your own hands found their way to his shoulders, one moving to his back as the other moved to softly tug off his bandana.

Tangling your fingers into his soft blue hair, few groans escaped him when you dared to tug at it. The sound only served to light a quickly growing fire of desire in you, which lead you to tug his hair some more in order to gain another few groans from him.

"Damn you really like my hair don't you?" He teased, trailing kisses down to your neck now, finding your sweet spot quickly, nibbling and sucking on it. "Though it's not fair I'm the only one making noise here."

You moaned at the feeling of his mouth marking up your neck, grinding your hips greedily against his, growing desperate for some form of friction between you two.

"Buggy~ pl-please" You whined a bit and he took the hint, using one of his hands to pin your waist against the counter while the other began to rub over your clothed crotch. He pulled his head away from your neck to watch the faces you were making at his touch. He felt he could watch you all day honestly, the way your eyes had become full of lust and your teeth gnawed on your bottom lip, was so mesmerizing to him. His own arousal and desire blossoming as he watched you try to plead with your eyes for him to touch you more. He maybe a killer but he knew how to be nice when he wanted, and thankfully he chose to play nice tonight by giving you what you wanted.

His hand stopped rubbing against your aching clothed loin, moving to undo your pants and pull them down.

When you tried to push your underwear along with them he stopped you. "No no- not yet." He picked you up, placing you so you were sitting at the edge of the counter, as he kneeled down to place his head between his legs. He started planting little kisses and bites along your thigh leading towards your core untill he was about to plant a kiss directly where you needed his touch the most, but instead switched to the other thigh, doing it over and over again to tease you.

"Captain please quit teasing~" you begged, not knowing how much more his little game you could handle before you'd go insane.

"Alright doll, but only cause you asked so nicely." Finally he removed your last bit of clothing covering your needy sex, planting tender kisses that only served to make you crave him even more.

Gradually he began to use his tongue, licking and sucking in all the right places and in all the right ways, drawing out moans from you, that he could only describe as beautiful. All the little moans, whimpers and curses of his name were music to his ears in all honesty, and he knew once he'd gone back out to sea they would haunt his dreams every night till he saw you again.

Of you in turn would be haunted by the memories of the way his mouth felt on you right now, the way it seemed to be effortlessly drawing you closer to your climax. "Buggy~ 'm close" Your hands tangled themselves in his hair, encouraging him to continue what he was currently doing until you had cum. Thankfully he did, letting you reach your high, then lapping up the mess you'd made without any hesitation.

Once he knew you'd come back down from your orgasm, he stood up and guiding you off the counter where you sat, moving to bend you over it instead. Removing his gloves and undoing his pants, his aching member flew around to your mouth while a few of his fingers began to tease your hole.

"Do me a favor babe, suck on that for me and get it nice and slick with your spit while I make sure your stretched out enough here for me to fit."

He didn't need to tell you twice, instantly you took the floating member into your mouth sucking on it and running your tongue over the tip. You took as much as you could into your mouth and throat, using your hand to spread excess drool over what little bit of length you couldn't. As you worked bobbing your head on his cock, he began to work your hole, starting by slowly inserting two of his digits into you, sliding them in and out a bit before scissoring them carefully inside you, and when he felt you were ready enough he inserted a third digit into the equation.

After a bit when he felt you were stretched out enough, and his dick was thoroughly lubed with your spit, he removed himself from both ends of you. Joining himself back together, he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed in, groans escaping from both of you as he did. His movements were slow and steady to start, letting you get fully accustomed to the feeling of each other.

"Fuck, even with all that preparation your still so tight." He groaned out into your ear, his hands squeezing your hips tightly as he started to speed up his pace a little. "You doing okay? Nothing feels uncomfortable right?"

You shook your head, trying to remember how to speak anything but his name. "No- I'm fine- feels so good Buggy"

He plants a few kisses on your shoulder before he stands himself up straight, quickening his pace more till there's an audible slapping sound of your skin slapping against each other's. Just as you both were getting lost in the pleasure and feel of the other one's body, a knock errupts from the door.

The pair of you glance towards the door, seeing Mihawk standing in the window of it. Without even slowing down his thrusting for a second, Buggy detaches his torso and floats it to the door to answer it.

"What do you need?" You hear the clown ask annoyed, probably glaring daggers at the swordsman.

"I came to talk to the shop keep. I wanted to inquire about replacing the plume of my hat." Mihawk responds unfazed by the current situation.

"Really shit head? You can see were in the middle of something obviously, you couldn't wait till tomorrow to ask?" Buggy crosses his arms, now pissed at the man for interrupting you two over something so stupid. "Get lost, and If you bother me again while I'm fucking their brains out, I will kill you and serve them your heart in a pretty little box. Got it!?" With that he slams the door and relocks it, before his torso makes its way back over to you float Infront of you.

"Mmm~ Fuck that was kinda hot, and I loved the way you threatened him babe." You look up to meet his gaze.

"I know, I felt you clench a bit when I said it." He plants a kiss on your lips. "Now, that he's got me all pissed off I'm sorry but I'm gonna take it out on you. Sorry in advance"

He reconnects his body to his hips, gripping tightly onto your waist before picking up the pace of his thrusting till it's almost painful how quickly he's plunging in and out of you. Your hips are being harshly pressed into the counter's edge by force of his pounding, your brain going numb, only capable of barely forming his name on your lips occasionally or producing various loud groans of pleasure.

Somewhere in the hectic mess of your mind trying to keep ahold of what's going on, you realize you'd cum again, which only furthered the overstimulated mess of pleasure you'd become.

"Nng- Bu-ah-gy~" It was no use, you were desperately trying to beg him to slow down a little but words were far out of your reach in your current state.

"Shhh sweetheart" His removed head came up to rest beside your own to comfort you. "Only a little longer baby, I promise. I'm gonna cum soon and then we can take a break ok? You want me to come in you, right? Want me to make you mine, don't you?"

He weakly nodded in response as he kissed you, your mouths seemingly melding into one.

Finally his hips ceased all movement, burying himself as deep as he could before releasing into you. "Good slut~ see, doesn't it feel so nice to have my cum in you?"

Finally you regained the ability to speak. "Yes~ that was so... wonderful."

"I know it was, we practically had a standing ovation with all the clapping our bodies were making." He joked, removing himself slowly from you. "Now let me help you get cleaned up after that outstanding performance."

"I'd like that. We can go up the stairs in the backroom, I live above the shop." You stood up carefully but when you wobbled a bit Buggy instantly picked you up and carried you up to your bathroom, with the help of your directions. The pair of you bathed, him of course helping you clean and dry yourself off before you both moved to lie on your bed.

"Buggy, will you stay the night with me please?" You rested your head on his chest, curling up into his side.

"Of course. I couldn't even dream of leaving your side right now." He placed a few kisses to the top of your head while one of his hands now comfortingly rubbed your back.

Blissfully you both laid there silent, basking in the soft glow of the moon rising through the night sky and shining through your window. You could both hear the faint noise of people partying in town square, laughing and shouting in drunken glee, it serving as a form of white noise to your thought filled minds.

"Hey Buggy, can I make a proposition, well I guess it's more of a request?" You shifted so you could look into his eyes, that were now seemingly glowing in the low light.

"Sure my starlight. What is it?" A thumb ran over your cheek tenderly.

"Would you be willing to be mine?" You studied his face for a second as he thought. "I know I'm being a bit foolish here but you've filled that lonely void in me more than anyone else ever had. I honestly think I've fallen for you somewhat today and I don't want to lose you. I don't care if we can't see each other for months on end, just please let me selfishly love you for at least a little while and maybe you can even love me too."

Something twinkled in his eyes as you spoke, knowing he felt the same. You'd both lived your lives searching for someone to love, or someone who could love you back and now the two of you were here entwined in bed together. You'd both filled that empty void in each other, chased off the loneliness together and somehow grown attached to the other in less than a day. Even if this was only a fluke, a mistake on your part, Buggy wasn't going to question it in the slightest. You were practically begging for him of all people to love you, of course he wasn't going to deny your love. You were the first person to love him and want to be loved by him, he'd be an idiot if he pushed you away now.

"Of course! I'd give anything to be yours honestly!" He pulled you into a deep kiss, sealing your new relationship with tender passion. When he'd pulled away, the pair of you had eyes filled with joy.

"I do have one request of my own though, besides wanting you to be mine as well."

Curious and excited you nodded for him to continue.

"Can you finally tell me your name at least?"

[astrowaffle]

Wow you guys really seemed to like the steampunk AU, that post got way more attention than I was expecting, so here's some more information and stuff:

-The world is still like a videogame that they got trapped in but now it’s a steampunk adventure-y type game with circus elements 

-The adventures are probably a bit different

-They’re probably more like, fantasy adventure video game style things with like puzzles and fighting? Idk I'm not a big gamer I've never actually played any steampunk video games. What are those like?

-Instead of circus tent, there is a big wagon thingy that I'll draw eventually

-there's still not much of a story and I'm not sure If there'll ever be

-I'd also kinda want to make some mini comics for this au but I suck at coming up with ideas :/

Pomni:  

-She likes to craft things

-friends with Gangle and Ragatha

-still very anxious but less anxious then normal Pomni?

-has a very logical mind and is good at puzzling things together but also doesn’t do well under pressure and typically panics in stressful moments where these skills might be useful

-She can play the flute because flutes are good, they are the best instrument. (I am totally not biased just because I play the flute in marching band)

-My headcanon for regular Pomni is that she’s less anxious than she initially is in the pilot after getting used to things, like, beyond the anxiety, her actual personality is very cheery and friendly, also very logical, because idk it just fits her somehow? So yea, that headcanon also applies to this au 

-but of course she is still an absolute nervous wreck because yes

-How else is she supposed to react in this situation

-also look at those fingerless gloves I want those

-the gears in her eyes turn when she is thinking

Gangle:

-Also likes crafting things

-friends with Pomni, Zooble, and Kinger

-she often borrows  sewing needles from Ragatha to sew her comedy mask back together when it’s torn, and also constantly tries to craft new ones

-She really likes her boots

-I don’t blame her those are some nice boots

-Ok wait a minute what if that little wing bow thingy on her head is actually a pen/quill that she can use to write stuff?

-ooooooh yes I like that

Caine: 

-✨monocle✨

-He can control the time of day with the clock that’s on his hat

-It’s a lot harder for him to heal injuries in this world, he can’t just instantly fix anything anymore it requires a bit more effort

-I’m doing this because I like when injury and pain and suffering

Bubble: um- idk it’s just bubble but now they’re a robot I guess

Kinger:

-ok but what if he had a collection of mechanical insects? Omg designing mechanical insects would be so fun-

-The clock that he wears is broken but he doesn’t notice. And Time is irrelevant anyways

-damn those gloves are fancy

-they probably feel really silky

-and his robe is also very silky because mmm good texture

Zooble:

-They are a robot now

-also a mechanic/inventor because nobody else is and somebody had to learn how to make new robot parts

-their right arm can go s t r e t c h

-bonds with Gangle over their hatred of Jax

-they’re also kinda protective over her

-I lowkey ship them (this ship is so underrated)

-No but seriously why do see zero art of this ship

- Zoob’s in denial about their feelings and still pretends not to care because they’ve had such a “I don’t give a shit about anything” attitude that suddenly developing feelings for someone has caught them off guard cause they suddenly are giving a shit about something and they don’t know how to handle it, But if Jax does anything to Gangle they will rush in to protect her in a heartbeat and just try to play it off as it just being because they don’t like Jax BUT WE ALL KNOW THE TRUTH ZOOBLE JUST CONFESS ALREADY-

-ok that got way too rambly let's just move on now

Jax:

-MY FAVORITE

-he likes shiny things

-He will collect those shiny things

-He also very fast because look at those LANKY RABBIT LEGS

-I mean technically that’s already cannon, did you see how fast he ran away after seeing abstracted kaufmo? He just z o o m e d outta there

-those keys on the chain are only a small portion of his collection

-his room is definitely full of weird steampunk knick knacks because yes

-He uses them to prank people

-the centipedes he has to scare/annoy Ragatha are mechanical

-I’m so excited to design mechanical centipedes I love bugs so much guys you have no idea I finally have an excuse to draw insects and maybe people will actually care because it’s fandom related now

-He does not like getting wet. At all. (this is also just a general headcanon for him but especially in this au)

-floofy

Ragatha:

-the seams of her fabric are prone to tearing so she always carries a needle and thread to sew herself back together. she's good at sewing

-My main headcannon for normal Ragatha is that her button eye is a parallel to an eye injury she had in real life before joining the circus, but in this AU she probably acquired the injury in this universe.

-she’s good at using tools and weapons but not in like, a mechanic sorta way like Zooble but in a defense sorta way

-like, she’s very kind and caring but also sorta tough and even though her body is good at falling apart, she knows how to use strategy to fight and um wait what would they even be fighting-

-idk I haven’t thought about that yet

-Gloinks?????

-do those exist in this au???

-wait it’s my au why am I asking this

-overall she is very, “tries to help everyone else and seems very tough on the outside but is prone to falling apart both physically and mentally but just gets good at quickly patching it up and ignoring it until it become too much for her to bear”

-pls help her she needs therapy

-they all need therapy

-I’m pretty sure we’ve all established that at this point

-but I’m just making sure you know that it’s still a consistent factor in this au

[batchilla]

Hi, hello. I just read your fic with Dick being the reader's partner as detectives and then the reader figuring out he's Nightwing, and I just want to scream about it in the best way.

A long, long time ago (back when I was 10 and under), I had the biggest crush on Dick Grayson, but also I just admired who he was. (And Starfire, but that is not the point.) I mean, my twin and I would play out any of the scenes from the few comics we had, and it was the only time I was fine with being a guy (since I was taller, she made me be the guy whenever we played), because it meant getting to be Nightwing. That crush has definitely waned over the years, especially since Marvel took over with their movies.

I want to say that around February of this year, I got back into DC. I'd always liked it, don't get me wrong. But if my interests were in a car, DC comics were forced to sit in the trunk. Anyway. I got super into Jason Todd, followed a bunch of writers on here who wrote for him. And then one of them reblogged your fic (it was Sunnie).

And suddenly, on this Monday evening, I'm back to being nine or ten. I'm reading what few comics I had, and I'm writing stories in my head, and I have a fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever I think about Nightwing. You reignited something in me, something I didn't know I missed. I practically absorbed your fic two times and then had to take a third time to read it because I just needed to.

Because it wasn't just me reading this, it was younger me reading too. It was the version of me who didn't know what fanfiction was, who didn't know anyone besides her sister or father who read DC comics. You made me come to life again, you let me steal some happiness that was so abundant in my childhood. I'm forever grateful for what you've done.

Anyway. That fic is killing me, I love it. Dick Grayson with his peep popcorn (what an atrocity, but I know he would eat that), with his sunshine smile that could probably melt a chilling gaze, with his dislike for stakeouts. He's there, he's just how I remembered him, and I couldn't ask for anything more. Thank you. I know this is so long and rambly, and I apologize for that. But thank you for writing this.

Well, I am legitimately misting up over here. thank you so much, this was so incredibly sweet and a lovely notification to wake up to. Healing (or nourishing) the inner child is one of the best parts of writing so the fact that I could do that for someone? it makes me very happy. everyone say thank you to @interwebseriesfan24 because this ask has given me so much writing motivation that I am fully intending to go add at least 1500 words to chapter two. You're all getting it a week earlier then planned and you have this ask to thank. Fata Morgana (knight Jason x Princess reader) lovers worry not, you will still be getting an update this week. Please, never apologize for sending asks like this, because they make me so incredibly happy. I am legit trying not to cry. interaction and conversation is my main source of motivation to write and this is brilliant. You've made my entire day. If not my week. Also, a little head canon I couldn't organically fit in, is that part of how he developed a taste for Peeps popcorn is because 1) it feels like the kind of snack he may have had as a small child growing up in a circus 2) between Robin and being a highly energetic child and school, he needed a source of energy. Tim has energy drinks / coffee, Bruce 'microsleeps' and in my opinion, Dick consumes an ungodly amount of sugar. thank you for reading.

[inu-jiru]

"Oops" Episode Rambles

I rewatched the episode for the sake of my rewrite post (plus I just wanted to see the final animation, credit where it's due, the show is fun to look at sometimes), and decided to share my thoughts since I haven't done that for an episode in a while:

Ngl, I'm honestly really indifferent towards Fizzmodeus, like I get that it's most people's positive for this episode but I honestly just don't care about it. I think it's because I'm so jaded to the 99% of dialogue that's sex-related to enjoy the sentimental stuff but also because it's just Bee and Vortex again, and it begs the question of why the shit Stolas' situation is so special (aside from him being Vivzie's baby) when the Sins just do whatever and either hide it poorly or don't hide it at all. Who came up with this hierarchy in the first place? Because the more we go on the more it seems like a thing that only Goetians focus on (which Ozzie should be apart of so what the fuck).

Speaking of Ozzie, I don't get why he's so nice, same with Bee. I'm not asking for everyone to be a shithead 24/7 but the concept of Hell's leaders, the ones who've created and are enabling the world of kill-or-be-killed that we've seen, being 100% friendly is just odd to me. Then again, Viv's idea of Hell is a nonstop party where they're all good unlike the EVIL BAD TOTALLY NOT GOOD angels and Adam so it doesn't surprise me. Also his whole thing about "Lust shouldn't be forced". Um? I'd get it if he were talking about LOVE, but Lust is not something I'd ever consider to be consensual in nature, especially not in Hell. That's all I'll say on the matter because it's a very serious topic, but then again, maybe I should consider myself lucky a topic that dark isn't being butchered by Vivzie. All of that said, I do like Ozzie's voice actor, he's really nice-sounding.

I don't understand what the hell happened with Fizz and Blitzo. Who the fuck was going around saying that Blitzo didn't wanna see Fizz and didn't tell Fizz that Blitzo showed up? I have to assume it was maybe Barbie or Cash (assuming Cash didn't also die in the fire). If it was Barbie I'm not entirely sure why. As far as we're aware (unless they retcon it in later) Barbie shouldn't have seen Blitzo knocking into the cake or leaving Fizz, so if she did it because their mom died, I can't see how she would know that. Maybe someone saw Blitzo and passed that on to Barbie, but the fact of the matter is I shouldn't have to Tetris-style guess and insert explanations for the episode. If any episode was going to be a full on backstory, it should've been this one, not The Circus, especially with Unhappy Campers being before this one.

On a positive note, I think those little fly-dog things are so cute in a kinda ugly way. I do think it's kind of a nice small look into Fizz's mind that he'd have one that's wheelchair-bound because he'd relate to it. Ozzie patching up Fizz was nice too, as much as I don't care for the couple, I'm glad that Fizzmodeus at leasts SHOWS the shit that Stolitz doesn't. And speaking of Stolitz, yeah Blitzo keep telling me all these things Stolas TOTALLY does for you yeah I'm sooooooo sure

And, like other people have said, Stolas was totally pointless and useless like always, and what a nice cool guy who totally isn't bad like the other Goetia when he let that lawyer guy get brutally murdered, like yeah I guess it wasn't really his place to help or anything but I don't think having him smirk and say "Get fucked, little one" is doing him any favors. I do have to wonder if they're actually gonna go through with this Crystal shit. I'm not gonna bother guessing anymore because like I said before, the show will throw a biggest, goofiest curveball at you to try and seem less predictable.

And speaking of curveballs, Crimson and Striker. That's it. That's all I gotta say on that subject. I miss Harvest Moon Festival, man. Like I'm no Striker fangirl who buys all the Striker merch and shit but damn he's so pathetic now. Why did Blitzo have to recreate the shit that happened and shoot the barrel when he could've shot Striker in the face while he was talking? Please, I need someone else on the writing team PLEASE

Anyway I think that's it for now.

[short-black-diamond]

We got swoled and chaded 😂

Ok a request!!! Hmmm could you do something about the Kamille has a crush on Sahed/Rainah situation? Like Julia rambling to Sahed about how they can’t keep seeing each other because Kamille has feelings but lets slip that she is into him? Or honestly I’ll take anything

Yeah sure! I was thinking very much how the author(s?) would write Kamille and Julia actually talking about their situation and everything. Anywaysssss, let's do this!

I changed that request a little bit for personal reasons, so yeah...

Uh...it will be a little angsty for Julia (in my opinion), and I will do a shit ton of Kamille slander, however, I'm not good at this so you might not be that mad, but oh well!

Also I did not proofread.

Sahed x Julia

---

What did you just say?

How long? Or better; how much longer?

Another day has passed in this weird circus with living corpses acting like humans and the brown haired girl trying to figure out the magic behind it.

But that was pushed aside because of a new problem. Kamille had a crush on Sahed. That's what Julia thought as she made yet another useless attempt of trying to find the girl who was most aqquainted to her. And she failed yet again.

With a frustrated sigh, she sunk down on a nearby bench and just looked at the scenery in front of her; acrobatics making the most ridiculous and dangerous looking poses and stunts, others playing with balls, Dotty and Bob chatting away with some other adults and much many more circus-like activities taking place.

Julia felt...lonely. Yes. She felt abandoned. Why?

She was far away from home. She didn't know if she'd ever even see her father again.

Kamille was spending much more time with her new friends Rainah and Sahed.

Dotty was ignoring her uneasyness and hunger for more insight of the past of this circus.

Tonny didn't look like a bad guy.

Sahed was a mysterious boy.

Sahed...was also a boy, who was one of the many reasons she didn't feel good. Not in a bad way- it's just, he's...weird. Dangerous. somehow...hot?

No!

Julia did not just think that! Not about that cocky smirk! Not about that luscious hair! Not about those beautiful orbs...or that sweet little extra eye...!

"Oh hello there. Didn't think I'd see you here of all places.", the boy's voice said, pulling her out of her thoughts. She flinched and yelped, but Sahed only chuckled as it was no surprise to him. He got to know her, after all.

"S-Sahed! I-uh-", dammit, what should she say? And what did he mean by that? "I just...wanted to see how everyone was doing...", she spoke, albeit hesitantly. She couldn't trust that guy. Not when he seemed to look...understanding? Did he just giver her a look of sympathy? No, she must've imagined it.

Sahed was just as dangerous as everyone else in this place. "So so? And...where's Kamille?", he asked in faux concern, with the intention of annoying her again. He knew that Kamille was very dear to Julia, but it also pissed him off that she was spending more time with his sister than her best friend, even when she was designing the clothes.

But he didn't notice the way Julia frowned upon his question a little. Nor did he hear her heart crack. "I don't know. I thought she was with you.", Julia answered, but her tone lacked emotion.

So Sahed likes Kamille too. Lucky her.

Sahed felt weird for some reason. His third eye sensed some iffy stuff going on now. Sahed was alarmed, but didn't show it. "Why would she be with me? She only likes to hang out with my sister you know? It's so damn annoying.", and he yawned. Julia noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Why does he never sleep?? But on the other hand, he looks hot-

"Oh, then...you should be going to bed. You have heavy eyebags. It doesn't suit you."

Okay, no.

This was not the Julia he knew.

He wanted his old Julia back.

The one who'd always shout and yell and blush and stutter and look so ador- Hold on.

What was he thinking???

"And it doesn't suit to me that you're acting weird.", he declared, suddenly stepping closer to her. She was taken aback, of course, and leaned back because he was invading her space as she was sitting on the bench.

He was bowing, she was sitting. He then rested his head on her shoulder. And whispered: "What happened?"

It was soft. Yet a demand.

A soft demand.

Julia felt bewitched by his rizz powers/hotness bluntness and her breath hitched. instinctively, she pushed him away form her and looked away. "N-nothing's wrong with me!" Yet she wanted to tell him about her every concern.

"Something clearly is. Am I that much of a bastard to you that you don't want to talk to me?", he asked, and Julia risked it to look at him again.

Big mistake.

Instead of his usual, confident smirk, there was a...great sadness.. adorning his face. His brows were furrowed in a sad frown, the corners of his mouth went south and he even closed his third eye. She liked that eye the most. Even if she'd never admit to it freely.

And even though he still looked amazing, she couldn't help but feel another pang of pain and her heart cracked again. She didn't know if she could handle it. "I- can we talk in private then? I don't want unwanted eavesdroppers to hear us..."

and so, the two were in a cabinet that didn't belong to anybody from the circus. Julia took a big breath before she started talking.

"As you know, I'm Kamille's friend, but ever since we came here, she's been distancing herself from me more and more and found so many friends so easily. Meanwhile I'm here, trying to overcome the fact that we really might stay here for the rest of our lives."

She received a nod. Sahed was either trying to act like he cared, or he actually...did care. "I mean, sure, Kamille would make friends no matter where we'd be. I just...I always feel excluded. I know that I'm not as pretty or nice or good as her. Or what everybody sees in her but me. I knew that the kids our age only liked Kamille. They even told me."

Sahed frowned. Julia was actually a good person. How could anybody tell Julia that they wouldn't want to spend time with her? And telling her that they don't like her to her face?

What the hell?

She was... Weird, but cute. And he flushed at the thought, but Julia didn't really pay him any mind and kept going.

"Kamille...she, uh-jeez that will sound childish to you- but...she forgot my birthday. We normally always celebrated together. But this time, she just forgot!", Julia exclaimed, this time looking at Sahed, and this time too, he frowned.

"When she's your best friend, why does she do that? Shouldn't she have told those kids to not exclude you and be nice to you?"

At that, Julia was taken aback. Sahed actually listened and discussed it with her instead of making fun of her. Her cheeks warmed up, but she pushed her feelings away, only for them to grow a hundredfold when Sahed kept going.

"And how could she forget your birthday? Isn't she your best friend? Me personally, I wouldn't let that slide. No."

Suddenly, Julia felt embarassed. Kamille liked Sahed! Damn, why did she talk so badly about Kamille?!?!? She needs to fix this!

And, well, with futile attempts, the girl with the long hair laughed awkwardly. "B-but that's okay! Kamille's pretty nice aside from that! She can design such pretty stuff, don't you think?! She'd be a great girlfriend for you!!"

Ouch.

Ouch ouch ouch ouchouchouchouchouchouch-

"Wha- why would I want her to be my- whoah, whoah whoah whoah. Wait a minute. What the hell is going on?", the male glared at her.

Sahed didn't get Julia. In the first moment, she's depressed. Then she's talking about the problems in her life. What bad things Kamille has done. And then she's telling him to become her girlfriend???

Sahed didn't get girls. Girls were weird creatures.

he sighed and punched the bridge of his nose. "Julia, why are you telling me all your problems, Kamille not treating you right, like as in her not aknowledging your existence,", hence Julia averting her eyes with a hurt expression where in response his heart hurted, "nor standing up to your bullies, or even forgetting your birthday? She does not seem like such a good person to me. and I don't even think she likes me, more like-"

"What?! Of course she likes you! You're smart, handsome, sometimes funny, a good listener, handsome, weird, mysterious, handsome, and you're a good brother. I don't think that Kamille could get a better crush on anybody else than you."

All the while you were counting the reasons 'Kamille' could have a crush on him, he'd rather...want it to be Julia who did. "You know that you called me handsome three times, right?"

Ah, there was that hot smirk again. Sahed thought that he could tease Julia with it -and hopefully get a confession- but he was not prepared to hear her actually say it.

"Because I like you."

She- She said it like it was the most normal thing in the world...!

"What did you just say?"

Julia took a little while to process why Sahed's tan was getting redder and his eyes widening before she realized what she did.

She voiced her thoughts out loud.

She got a little whiplash from all the blood rushing to her head, but she was too focused on apologizing and telling him to forget that she ever said that. In her head, she was punching and kicking herself. Did I really say that?! Do I really like Sahed?! What will Kamille think??!

He was still stunned, but recovered quickly.

Slowly, he took one of her flailing hands in his and brought them to his lips.

"May I?", he asked.

And she couldn't believe it was really happening. Too weak to move her mouth, she just nodded weakly, and Sahed gave Julia a small kiss to her knuckles.

"Julia, I like you t-"

"Sahed- OHH, I'M SORRYYY~", Dotty interrupted Sahed's confession towards Julia with a laughing face. He was blushing furiously, because Dotty of all people had to see him in such a state. And he also thought that no one would look for him at this time.

Julia was no better. "D-DOTTY?! wha-what are you doing here?!"

The freckled woman only giggled and waved her hand before dissappearing again.

Julia and Sahed would have some explaining to do.

---

I honestly wanted Sahed to comfort Julia as well, but here we are.

I hope it was okay!!

Send in more requests please! Also please read my work "battle fairy" guys! Thank you!

[sophieswundergarten]

DOES SOMEONE WANT TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT OXYTOCIN????

Because, because, because, the thing is that part of why orphanages were considered Not Great was that there were too many kids and not enough people to love them. There are records of some infants actually dying from what is believed to be lack of physical contact. If a baby isn't held it can stunt their growth, make them loose weight, cause attachment issues/certain kinds of mental struggles, and a whole lot of other things.

Now, oxytocin.

Oxytocin is often called the "love" or "cuddle" hormone, and it reduces blood pressure and production of stress hormones. Its levels are raised by physical closeness with other people. Like hugs.

Hugs are super important to mental and physical health. Now, I understood this factually, but I have also had a chance to experience it in real life! (Yay /s)

So, when I'm at school, I'm there for most of the week. I'm lucky enough to attend a university close enough to where my family lives that I get to visit them a lot. But, when I'm actually attending classes and stuff at school, I have no physical contact with anyone at all. Barring the occasional handshake, I don't touch anybody. Ever. And it actually messes me up so bad.

If people aren't being hugged enough, it raises blood pressure, it makes them more stressed, it worsens mental health, and it's even thought to lower the immune system. Isolation and lack of human contact has been shown to increase thoughts of death and mortality, and sometimes make the person doubt their own existence.

It has been said that humans need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.

This is why solitary confinement and total isolation is a big deal. It can actually destroy people

Now, you may be wondering, "Sophie? Why are you talking about hormones and death and stuff? Aren't you a goofy MBS blogger?" And to that I say, "We're almost there"

So, the thing you need to learn from all this is that basically, lack of human contact is bad. It makes your brain messed up, and it can make your body messed up. Hugs are super important.

Now. How often do you think the kids were hugged pre-canon?

How often do you think Reynie got actually positive touch from another human being? How many years passed as he grew up not having loving contact with anyone at all, until Miss Perumal showed up? How much more do you think he savoured her hugs when he only received a few precious seconds of touch every day or so?

How hard do you think it was for Sticky to go from getting a couple empty handshakes, one or two claps on the back every few weeks when he did a competition, to nothing. Nothing at all as he snuck away in the middle of the night, hiding away and pretending to be nobody worth noticing. Even though I'd bet he barely got any hugs in the first place, it would still be a shock. How often do you think he felt like a ghost, half convinced he didn't exist anymore as he crept through the streets and watched people's eyes slife right off of him?

How jarring would it have been for Kate to go from her multitudinous, ever-shifting circus family to the emptiness of her journey to Stonetown? She worked so hard to fill the void left in her from her father leaving, and then she gave it all up, maybe because she wanted to be the one who left this time. Maybe that's why she's always the one leaning on the others, playfully punching the boys, volunteering to carry Constance, anything really to be able to touch someone. And after all that whiplash, how hard would it have been for her to regulate after she got Milligan back and couldn't decide if she never wanted him to let go of her or if she never wanted to touch him again?

Did anyone hold Constance when she was little? She's know for being a trouble maker and a biter at a very young age, and was that because she didn't trust anyone who tried to touch her? Did she know, even at such a young age, that there were too many people who couldn't be trusted in her world? And, after she ran away, hiding in the library and staying out of sight, how many months did she go without hearing a single word from another human? How frightening was it for her to break through all of those years, most of her life at this point, of learned anger and defensiveness? How long did it take for her to truly believe she could trust Mr. Benedict, to let her guard down and accept affection from him?

[mephistopheler]

✵ SALUTATIONS MY HUMBLE AUDIENCES~!

Welcome to a place where my quite peculiar interests goes into ♪

Now, now... 'Tis the time for me to introduce mineself...♪

My name is Val!!! (short for Valerian) Also known as Kolya, Petruk or Wahyu on other platforms :D

{My pronouns are He/Him, I'm a guy and a minor fyi ☆}

My literally WHOLE typology incase someone's curious :>

ENTP 3w2 sx/so 379 Chaotic Neutral Sang-Chol

✵ ALRIIIIGHT~ LET'S GET TO MY INTERESTS, SHALL WE?

➸ My Interests!

• Anything of Jester, Clown, Circus, or Magician aesthetics I absolutely DEVOUR those!

• Shakespeare (Especially R&J, Macbeth, Tempest, Hamlet MND and Twelfth Night)

• Other Theatrical Plays/Musicals/Operas

• Historical fictions

• Classic Literature

• By liking classic literature, I am destined to be interested anything that involves Bungou such as; Bungou Stray Dogs, Bungou to alchemist, even obscure ones like Bungou Series, Tsuki Ni Hoerane, Circus at the very end, Ravuhebun, etc.

• I play rhythm games like Enstars (EN+JP), Bandori (EN), D4DJ (EN), and Deresute! So if you wanted to befriend me there, just message me~ (I am HEAVILY interested in Enstars)

• Speaking of RHYTHM games I love classical music!!! (Mind you i'm also in the Classicomp fandom) Other favorite genre of mine such as Jazz, Electro swing, etc. can be found on my quite full of tomfoolery Spotify account!

• By liking Classical music and it's composers while showing interest in Japanese media, of course I'd love CLASSICALOID!!!

• PUYO PUYO!!!! Ms. Accord my beloved btw ♡ (Val trying not to fall in love with mysterious ourple characters challenge impossible)

• Ofcourse i'd enjoy Madou Monogatari too

And I like, really really hate Satan guys I swear 😁 He's being denial again fellas

• REVERSE 1999!!! As a biased Shakespeare fan I love my Daughter Charlie, The Fool, and Nick Bottom ♡♡♡ (I play on Global server!)

• 31 Minutos yes! The dreadfully humorous and peculiar puppet show!

• JJBA it's literally my childhood show besides My Little Pony (don't ask why)

• Hetalia because I love history and this is actually one of my comfort media...

• The Bibl—*GUILLOTINE DROPS*

• AND MANY MORE WHICH YOU'LL COLLECT LATER LIKE POKEMON!!! (Because all he does here is indulging himself on his own interests)

✵ OBLIGATORY BYF & DNI SECTION. ONE MUST READ BEFORE PASSING.

➸ BYF

• I have BPD and AUDHD! I'm pretty much a calm person, so thou shalt not be afraid. im very sane I swear guys I swe

Except I'll be like, SUPER annoying about my interests—or in general. !! I try my best to understand social cues, so it's best to make me aware if I ever did something impolite or uncomfortable to you outside of my awareness !!

• I'm INDONESIAN 🇮🇩 So my English may not be the best, because it is not a main language of mine! (And I sometimes ramble in Indonesians here whoops)

• Yes I do type/talk peculiarly. Get used to my theatrical antics! 🙄 (May this perhaps be what everyone called... A typing quirk?)

• I am a multishipper!!! I also don't concern oneself with any ships that are not to my likings.

• My blogs are most likely to be jokes/satirical! Better to take things lightly~

• YOU MUST BE IMMUNE TO MY CRINGENESS!

• I am completely sane and aware of my actions.

➸ DNI

• Post or actively talked about ED & SH

thou shalt refrain from calling me a weakling!!! Those topics are a triggering one for a fool like I am!

• LGBT+phobes, BE FEARFUL AS I TRANSCEND THE GENDERS!!!

• Ableists, of course! I mean... Which ableist could even keep up with someone as AMAZING as me?

• Racists

• Zoophiles

• Pedophiles/MAPs

I am not a centuries old ancient being, sadly. Please be mindful!

• Neo N*zis

• Matcha haters 😡/j

Other than that, I think you're good to go~

✵ Applause, everyone! The comedy is over! My greatest gratitude goes to all of you who decided to come by and be intrigued by my show~!

Seriously... Did you read ALL THAT?

Anyways, May the fate let us to reunite sometime ☆

(By that I mean, I NEED MOOTS)

[rightnowyoucanttell]

Malibu, Next To You

Title: Malibu, Next To You 

Summary: Is it supposed to this hot all summer long? Or is it just him? A very fluffy date with some minor molehills between Veronica and Grayson on a Malibu beach. Just because the sun is down, the night is still young, and so are they. But which way does it go...

Warnings: Fluff, implied smut (I don’t write smut, sorry guys), talks of anxiety 

A/N: When this idea came to mind, i say that because i have a roughly planned full series timeline in my head it started with just the first part as a blurb but then I was like hey let's make a series, it was originally to be a reader insert (Y/N, Y/L/N, ect.) but i always have problems doing that as they feel too weird to write so I came up with Veronica and added it to the plot/timeline whatever you'd call it. so you can do that or appreciate it for the beauty it is with Veronica and Grayson. 

Tags: @dzoint ​ @graysavant @blindedbythelightt ​ @tadadolan @heartofalionxo ​ @beatement-l ​  @grayswhore ​@saggitariusagirl @tattoogray @onlyangels-world @dxlxnbby

Part one 

Series Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know..” Ronnie drifted as she walked kicking the sand beneath her feet forward in a rhythmic pattern,” I’ve never enjoyed going to the beach..” Veronica glanced up from the sand and over to Grayson who gazed down to the ground before making eye contact.

The smell of saltwater brushed their noses, seagulls cawed in the distance as the water crashed closer and closer and then pulled itself back out. The pair, Ronnie and Gray watched the sunset as they walked barefoot as the tide came in and set back out, like both of their hearts, coming to a calm stop and then flooding back in a rampage of fluttering butterflies, beating in there chest.

He explained the currents and she just gawked in a secretive manner, so he didn’t notice, the dumbfounded look his body gave her. 

    “Really? You don’t say, I mean I figured that much, for someone who has a fear of seagulls and drowning…” he pondered the thought as his feet stopped the wallow in the incoming tide that was just far enough from Ronnie who was in the dry portion of sand.

She giggled shaking her head continuing down the shore all while facing Grayson,”..are you saying you’re not enjoying yourself?” he shouted over the crashing waves that he ran from to catch up to her. 

“You remembered…,” Ronnie’s heart fluttered. Grayson knew about her anxiety.  Ronnie explained to Grayson that night in Starbucks, her fears, in return for him doing the same.  There was a semi prolix list. Seagulls, birds, circus clowns, large crowds, heights, and significantly Drowning.

She shook herself from the bliss and continued, “but, no. No no, no.. of course not. You brought me here!” she exclaimed twirling with open arms, the wind catching her grey wool shawl that covered her white strapless sundress with bright red roses.

Her damp dark brown hair caught in the breeze flew gently, her eyelids covered her vibrant green eyes. Grayson’s eyes followed Veronica in awe as she twirled in the sand and breeze all the way as she ran back to him and nearly ran into him. 

   The two laughed and turned around to walk back to the there picnic blanket, both inaudible deciding it was time to eat,” Your something else, you know that?” he offered up to the conversation. His hand brushed against gently against Ronnie’s. 

   Ronnie just smiled letting silence sit between then,”..Something good I hope…” the entirety of the walk back to the picnic blanket and the food was silence, blissful and incentive for Grayson, but nervous and nerve wracking for Veronica. She hastily wondered if she had said the wrong thing, or turned him off or away and that’s why he hadn’t said anything, but she tried telling herself it was just the anxiety and the nerves this Italian boy from New Jersey stirred up. 

  Veronica Chandler likely always would be anxiety-ridden. After all, Fears my life, Ronnie had the words tattooed on and wrapping around her wrist. The black ink still had water droplets from when she had been swimming and wading in the water with Grayson. Veronica left the fishing on her stepfather’s, Darren,  boat to him and her older brother Noah, even all the while, an excelling science student, she never got how they were floating.  

    However, if tonight, if Grayson asked her, Ronnie probably would step foot on a boat.  She never willing went to the beach, even though living in Miami with private beach access growing up at her home, and certainly did not stand by the ocean. But on this evening, Grayson brought her there, and she was happy that he did.

So here they were. 

  The sunset warmed Veronica the pinks and blues entangling themselves, like the hopes of how Veronica undeniably wanted to be entangled with Grayson later that night. Something in Grayson hoped it too.

On a picnic blankets, following a stroll along with the tide on the now rather deserted from the public eye, on a beach in Malibu. Munching on what Ronnie’s mom would call “Rabbit Food”. 

  “This is one of the best wraps I’ve ever tasted,” Ronnie added as she quietly finished chewing her toes in the sand below and surrounding the blanket. 

"Its from.." Grayson paused to chew," this stand in downtown LA, Marty's I think, they're delicious." They made eye contact, Ronnie smiled with her eyes, covering her mouth as she was chewing.

"We should go together sometime,"Ronnie offered nervously.

 "Defiently...,"Grayson brushed his hands above the wrap on a clear piece of plastic wrap beefy ass salad chickpea wrap sat on, in between final swallows of his bites of food he started, "so... care to explain why you ignored me for a week, 'ronica?"

   That's when the evening went south.

What Grayson didn't know, that the week Veronica avoided him..one week desperate Gray was left with no sign she was alive, no text, calls, and no DM’S except the confirmation seen from the first night. 

 That week the week she ignored him, the week he was referring too, Veronica,  was in Miami visiting her mother. Veronica had deep-rooted feelings for Grayson.. but, again, like a record used, the last had left a few scratches, and overtime... they scarred.

But it was nothing, Gianna, Mama Chandler couldn't fix...

   Ronnie sighed heavily,"Why does everyone I love settle for someone so low of them?" She pondered the thought in silence as she finished her rant of the night she met Grayson.

 “..well, he sounds like a keeper..and handsome....,” her mother drifted. Ronnie wasn’t paying attention fondling with the small strands that belonged to the blue and white polka-dotted beach towel her mother and herself were tanning on. Within seconds her attention was grabbed by an incoming frisbee, that landed...perfectly in one of the white polka dots. Ronnies eyes widened when she caught its sight, she gazed curiously and then picked it up examine it, before tossing it to the wind aimlessly,”-Veronica! You could have hit someone!” Gianna gently smacked the four-arm of her daughter’s right hand with the back of her hand. 

    “Mom!? What the fuck? Did you not see that it landed in the circle, that’s not a coincidence...that’s a fucking conspiracy. Like how a cartoon predicted 9/11 and then moon landing was faked...," Ronnie slumped back so her back rested against the beach chair set up behind her. 

"It was an accidental coincidence..dear," her mother licked the tip of her finger pulling the pages apart. Her sun hat covers her sunglasses covered eyes, and held her brown hair in place around her shoulders, she was paler than Ronnie, she and noah got there skin from her absentee father, he was the Brazilian in her jeans.

"Yeah well, accidents don't just happen, accidentally, mother," Veronica huffed and crossed her arms leaning back farther and closing her eyes, enjoying momental peace before the woman started up again.

"When you head back to Los Angeles, you better text that boy, I'll be damned if you pass up a chance with someone like that. He's a good one that Grayson, I can tell. You cant let your life wither away to nothing and give up on love because of one bad drinker and a beater bad apple.. theres good people out there.. you just gotta look in front of you."

The memory on the beach faded, she hadn't realized she had been gazing into Grayson's hazel eyes the entire time the flashback played out in her head like a scene from a movie,"do you, uh. Really want to know? Is it fundamentally necessary.." she drifted off leaving a tenacious gap of silence. Just the wind and the waves to be heard.

Grayson scoffed a chuckle,"..well, no, but, I'd like to know."

Ronnie thought for a few moments, if she didnt tell him, he'd be suspicious, if she told him he might doubt the feelings she had if they were legitament,"I was in Miami. With my mom, i needed advice. A break. I was worried you were..a player. And now I know, I know that your not. Your kind, cute, hot, sexyyy, and-"Veronica's ramble was cut off by Graysons hands wrapping and cupping her head into his hands and pressing his lips to hers.

Internal fire works went off, if it were a movie they would be exploding over the water between there heads just visable to camera shot. Both hearts beat against there respective rib cages, not knowingly they both had been wating for this moment the entirety of the night.

Ronnie's hand came to touch Grays chest shortly before she came up to breath in the salty air,"that.." she panted,"was hot. But, I dont know.. if this'll work. I'm lonely and broken.. and can barely take care of myself, just, Grayson-"

"I like that your broken, and lonely" he grasped her face one hand still behind her head his thumb caressing her cheek,"not like in a kinky sort of way," they both laughed for a few seconds, Ronnie looked down. He placed his pointer fingern underneath her chin, tilting it up,"I could be lonely with you.."

"My place or yours?" She smirked. Hoping that night of entanglement would happen after all.

"Mine, definetly mine." He breathed there chins pressed together.

Ronnie had never run faster than she didn that night, all the way back to the porsche.

[legomydoggos]

This will likely just be rambling but I wanted to do a text post on Jyn's behavior over the week while we were camping for my sake (bad memory lately) and I also strive to be someone who shares all sides of my life with dogs not just the highlights.

This was Jyn's second camping trip with me and I already saw big improvements!

First we spent two nights in a state forest with friends (3 people, 6 dogs total). Because of the primitive and secluded site, the dogs were able to be off leash most of the time. I only used the tie-out for Jyn as a time out for the few times she started to stray too far or when I was napping and couldn't monitor her.

She initiated play with the other dogs at least once a day and it was glorious to watch!

She did better about not resource guarding me: we practiced with me petting her and another dog and then with her in my lap while another dog came to say hi to me. Both were triggers in the past and I'd say we had a 80% success rate. She did however start to RG the car, which I didn't prevent due to not expecting it! I had the trash back there so one dog went to check it out when I was elsewhere and Jyn rushed them. (Her go to move for this is a lightning fast muzzle punch.) I made the mistake of not fully helping her feel secure when she was eating a couple times near or in the car and another dog approached so I need to be more proactive next time. She got to practice sharing her car with another dog again. On the way to the hike she muzzled punched Boe a few times so had to go on timeout in the front seat. After the hike I tethered her and she was tired so she only tried once and listened to me when I told her to go to her bed.

Hiking wise she was fabulous! Recall wonderful, decent leave it, checking in constantly, LLWing offered a good amount as well as on cue, posing for pics, worked on "wait" cue since we hadn't in a while. I have no complaints! It's also really nice to see her enjoying the water.

One trail we did was fairly busy and did show that I need to work on Jyn's tendency to fall out of LLW when she wants to smell people after they pass but once I have the energy, that will be easy to work on at home since we live in the city.

The third day, we were on our way to camp solo at a state park but my car had a brake issue that needed to be looked at so Jyn accompanied me to a mechanic and we waited for a little over 2 hours for them to replace parts. She was able to meet all the men that worked there which was great exposure for her. She was timid but happy to sniff them and allowed minimal pets. I like that she gives herself space if she needs it and doesn't get nippy/defensive anymore.

We went to the park for a walk, shower for me, and then set up camp. Jyn was getting a bit fussy, I had her in the car when I showered and then she passed out in the dirt when I napped in my hammock. She was very alert when it got dark, more so than she had been when we were with our group. And to be fair, I was as well. The campground was mostly empty of campers but during the early evening several people walked around. Jyn did try to boof at one pair so I played some LAT with her that was highly successful.

No matter where we camped, if Jyn heard something that woke her, she would get up and stare out of the nearest tent window or door, completely quiet. I sometimes talked to her softly and she would get back into my sleeping bag.

We both slept hard that third night as it poured rain and was very peaceful. Jyn sat in the car as I packed up camp the next morning. I opened the door on her side to get her harness on before we left and noticed she was shivering. When I reached around her to buckle the harness, she curled her lip in warning. I was puzzled and tried to continue so she tried to bite me. (It was very reminiscent of her first night with us when we tried to dry her off with a towel and she smashed herself into the corner of the couch and snapped if we approached.) I had taken off her coat earlier thinking it was warming up so I grabbed it to put it back on her, but again lip curl and snapping when I reached around her back. So I ended up wrapping her in a blanket. I did correct her once (with a hand clap and something verbal) when she almost connected with my hand. I left her alone and finished the rest of what I had to do and when I got back to the car she was herself again. Of course I went though as many scenarios as to what could have gotten her into that flight or fight mode. I was very concerned that she was in pain. But I think my best conclusion is that she was likely tired physically and mentally and had reached her limit. I regret not listening to her signals better. She had no other instances of this for the remainder of the trip.

Near the end of our hike on that same day, Jyn started to chew on her left hind foot and was mouthy when I tried to inspect. This is fairly normal for her, we are still working on body handling and outside in a strange place wasn't ideal. She then started kicking the ground with it. I thought perhaps she had gotten stung by insect or plant so she got benedryl then and also the next morning. She let me get a better look when she was calm and in the car and I didn't find anything suspect.

When Jyn was off leash at any campsite, she was full terrier. Like those Family Circus cartoons with the dotted lines showing where the kids go around the house and yard. Busy! Here, there, everywhere. But when she was on the tie-out, she had to keep me in sight always and would cry even if left with company. This is something that I noticed during her first camping trip and was mostly able to simply avoid this time around. I discovered that using the car to crate her if I did have to go somewhere without her was acceptable to her so I think with that, we can start to work on getting the rest of it better.

The fourth night we stayed with one friend at a busy campground. Jyn liked to watch the people go by. She only boofed and growled at one person, campground host. I think because he was going into the other campsites to deliver things instead of just walking on the road. I didn't have any treats handy at the time so I tried to soothe Jyn. She didn't stop but also did not escalate.

I love how well Jyn has taken to all of this! And she's only been with me for 8 months! Doing trips like this with her has really strengthened our bond, too.

(Rogue enjoyed a staycation with my fiancé and visits from dog walkers. I can't wait until it's cool enough again for him to want to be outside more.)

Photo of Jyn next to some fresh bear poop outside of our campsite! (The bear had walked around in the middle of the night and found someone's bin of food they hadn't put away, Jyn and I didn't see it but had listened to it happening.)

[wrathfulspark]

@garridansblood

  “Yes...it was nonetheless, ah--discouraging, which is why...I tend to be so...I tend to be much more involved, I would say.” He flashed a nervous smile. The blond perked up significantly as Elidi didn’t seem to think of his soft-heart as being weak, or a negative aspect. It was quite refreshing, and all the more made him feel rather comfortable being within the magika’s presence. “Ah-? W-well...thank you, Elidi.” He spoke softly.

            He all the more agreed with his guest’s advice; and felt a rush of reassurance provided her hopeful outlook. Yes, there had to be someone lurking within the city that had a profound respect for the deceased, someone who wouldn’t mind what the job entailed. Though Garridan loved his work, he understood that dealing with bloated corpses, having to make an attempt to repair bodies that were more or less desecrated by violence or accident--it wasn’t an easy task, oh not at all.

          At first, Elidi’s words caused a look of worry to trace his face--had he done something wrong? However; it vanished into near thin air as she once again reassured him. Yes, Elidi was a kind woman no doubt. Though the blond continued to view Elidi as more of a superior rather than a friend, she had been a wonderful guest so far; and Kiki had more than enough praise for her mentor.

“You’re too kind, Elidi...much too kind.” 

               His hues seemed to lighten up as Elidi spoke of her own preferences. How refreshing it was, having someone who seemed to be as avid a fan of romance novels as he! “W-why ofcourse, I...I would absolutely love to exchange novels. In fact, I ah--I recently lent out my copy of Phantom of the Opera...” Upon feeling his cheeks grow cold from embarrassment, the vampire shyly averted his gaze towards one of his well-organized book piles. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...” He paused, a thoughtful expression appearing on his face. Garridan was about to apologize for rambling once more, but Elidi’s words entered his head:  You are not rambling, I enjoy listening to you speak, you don’t do it very often. This provided the vampire with a newfound sense of self-confidence in that he wasn’t being a bother.

         He observed the way Elidi seemed to gaze upon her bracelet, and Garridan felt tempted to take a glimpse himself; but refrained. No need to be invasive, though he found himself wishing to compliment the magika’s jewelery. It seemed quite regal, refined, and to a degree seemed to embody the woman quite well.

           “I’ve read The Price of Salt before...what an intricate story. So beautiful, and it...it really seemed disheartening at times--though...I suppose the ending was rather hopeful, if my ah--if my memory serves correct.” The vampire rubbed his arm, hoping he hadn’t mistaken the plot with another novel he’d read.

          “I already ah, stated Phantom of The Opera is a favourite...let’s see. Maurice was a rather hopeful, especially due to the time in w-which it was written...I found it ah, rather...reflective of my own experiences.” Tilting his head, the vampire seemed to retreat into his thoughts as he attempted to think of other titles that called to him. “The Night Circus was also...quite lovely--a bit more recent, though...it had a surreal, though dream-like ah, plot.”

"I can't say I've read that one, though I know it's fairly well known. It has a movie as well doesn't it? I seem to never have the time to finish up a movie, either I fall asleep in between, something comes up, work or I'm spending my spare time with Tamryn." At the mention of her girlfriend, Elidi shifted in her seat, thoughts brought back to her precious curiosity. Her hand rubbed at the nape of her neck, silent for a stretch as she summoned the appropriate wording.

"I noticed.. you get a little rigid around Tamryn. At first I thought perhaps it was me and I freaked you out a little but sitting here with you and chatting has definitely changed my mind. Your energy, aura is calm -- well calm enough." Her head tilted as she observed the vampire, scarred brow arching, "Did something happen between the two of you? She wouldn't hurt you, you know." The witch paused, illuminated hues averting to the corner of her eye, "Well, she wouldn't kill you anyways."

Her posture straightens as she recenters her focus, clearing her throat as her brows knitted together, "You don't have to answer if you don't want too. I was just curious is all. Besides we're having such a lovely chat, I'd hate to ruin the atmosphere that we've got going." Nervously she sipped from her tea, gratefully still warm as she swallows the liquid. Ever since she made her promise to Tamryn, she's avoided any sort of encounters with suspects as much as possible, only finding it excusable if she encountered a situation while working. She wondered how the Alpha was fairing on her end, they didn't necessarily discuss that. A thoughtful hum resonated from within her, her head shaking dismissively at her own thoughts. Of course Tamryn would follow her promise.

[marvelxwinchester]

B is for Baby ~ Steve Rogers Fanfic

A is for A Postive Test

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Avengers x Reader

Summary: You and Steve have been trying to have a baby for a year when finally those two little pink lines make an appearance.

Word Count: 1037

Warnings: Fluff and ramblings with a dash of sadness.

Next

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You sat on the floor of your ensuite bathroom next to Natasha and Wanda who were on either side of you, holding your hands as you waited for five treacherous minutes to find out if you were pregnant.

You had missed your period twice already but it wasn't uncommon for it to skip around due to your abilities and the experiments. But Bruce had made a pill that would stop that from happening.

It had only been two minutes and you were already freaking out, Wanda must've sensed that as she lightly squeezed your hand. You leaned your head against Natasha's shoulder with tears in your eyes.

She looked down at you in concern, " Hey now, What's with the tears? We haven't even found out if there's a Little Rogers in there or not."

You nodded your head as the tears fell down, " I know but it's just hard. We've been trying for the last year and each time it came back negative it was a stabbing pain in my chest. Each time the look on Steve's face would become more heartbroken. It hurt knowing that I might not be able to give Steve a family."

" Hey it's alright, Y/n, " Wanda said as she squeezed your hand, " You can always do other things if you can't physically have the child."

You nodded and wiped your eyes with your sleeves, " Your right, it's not the end of the world-"

The timer went off making the three of you jump and your eyes go wide.

" I can't look at it, Natasha you check!" You said nervously.

Natasha rolled her eyes at you, " No, all three of us are going to get up and look at it together even though your darling husband should be here with you."

You let out a laugh and nodded your head," Alright. We'll do it together."

The three of you stood up slowly and Wanda grabbed the test with her scarlet energy as you all moved to your bedroom.

The three of you sat on your side of the bed facing the window out on the skyline that showed the snowy March city.

" Alright, we're going to do this very slowly, okay?"

You nodded at Natasha and turned to Wanda, " Alright Wanda flip it over."

Before Wanda could flip it over Peter walked into the room, " Hey Y/n I was wondering if we could- Oh sorry! I'll leave."

You shook your head at your younger brother and motioned for him to come in, " Come on it but shut the door."

" Are you sure? I mean, I'd love to but- Are you sure?" Peter stuttered looking at the three of you.

He knew how big of a deal this was for you and Steve. And how you could get if it didn't come back positive.

The first time it happened you thought for sure you were pregnant, you had all the symptoms and everything, until the test came back Negative, you had locked yourself in your room for a few days. That was until Steve finally convinced you to come out, and even then you were still shut off.

" Of course Pete, come here so I can stop panicking about this, " You said with a smile as he walked over and sat in front of you.

With a sigh, you nodded at Wanda, " Alright, let us continue."

Wanda nodded and slowly flipped the test over to where you could see it, and as it hit the light you let out a scream.

There on the small pregnancy test screen sat two bold pink lines.

Wanda let out a squeal of delight and Natasha let out a relieved laugh with a smile, while Peter sat frozen in the chair as you cried clutching the test in your hand.

" I'm going to be an Uncle?" He asked shakily.

You looked at your brother with a happy smile and nodded your head tears still running down your face, "You're going to be an Uncle."

A smile broke out across Peter's face and he jumped out of the chair tackling you into a hug.

" I'm going to be an Uncle! Y/n! You're going to be a Mother!" He said excitedly making the girls and you laugh.

" Yes, Peter you're going to be an Uncle, " You said wiping your tears as the girls joined in on the hug.

" Y/n you know what this means?" Natasha asked as the three pulled away from you.

" That this child is going to be spoiled and so lucky to have this circus as a family?" You replied causing her to laugh and shake her head.

" Yes and No. It means you and Steve are going to finally have the family you both deserve. I don't know anyone else who deserves this more than you two do."

" Awe Nat you're going make me cry again, and I really don't want to cry again."

The four of you sat there laughing for a few seconds before Wanda smiled at you.

" You know... You still have to tell Steve and I think I have the perfect idea on how too."

You let out a gasp of excitement, " He's going to be so excited!"

" The whole team is going to be excited Y/n, " Peter said as you let out a happy noise making them all look at you weirdly.

" Shh, it's my happy noise leave me alone, " You said with a wide grin as they shook there heads.

" Your kid is going to be so weird," Natasha said as Peter and Wanda nodded in agreement.

" No, they'll be as unique as I am and as trouble making as Steve, " You said letting out a laugh.

" No doubt about that, " Natasha said shaking her head.

" So Wanda, " You said turning towards the brunette, " What was your idea?"

She gave you a smile before she began to tell the three of you her idea and once she had finally finished you all agreed it was perfect.

[peterpanfromlemonland]

Angel of Arkham

"So," Paris Beckett, one of Arkham's newest therapists and psychiatrists clicked her pen as she stared straight into Jerome Valeska's eyes, "Why did you do it?" she leaned back in her chair as the crazy eyed ginger, wiggling in his restraints, smirked. This wasn't the first time these two have met...

6 months ago...

Paris was watching the circus with her niece that calm Sunday evening, not much was going on that night, just the regular acrobats and clowns. That was until a fight ensued between the clowns and acrobats. "Oh dear," Paris muttered as her niece grimaced and looked away, "I don't think this is supposed to happen..."

"GCPD!" A voice rang out through the circus tent, a cop, "Everybody freeze!" The string of events that happened next caught Paris off guard, she was hoping for a relaxing evening but instead she got a case placed on her hands. Sadly, her "people" skills wouldn't be needed until later.

"C'mon kiddo," Paris picked up the child, "Let's get you back home before your dad scolds me for getting you involved in my work." as the two of them left the tent a young ginger, no older than Paris bumped into them- literally- and dropped his bag of cherry flavoured candies. "Oh," Paris muttered as she knelt down to pick it up, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, I wasn't looking where I was-"

"No, no," the ginger man replied as he knelt down at the same time, "It was my fault-" their hands collided and their eyes locked onto each others. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, Paris felt the warmth of his fingers brush against hers as he blindly fumbled for the bag, until the scene before her finally began to process fully.

"Oh shit!" she jerked her hand away suddenly, her niece yelping at the random movement, "I'm so so sorry... again... I didn't mean-" she stuttered as her face flushed red, rising to her feet as her niece glanced around curiously. The ginger smiled awkwardly, that smile brought butterflies to Paris's torso, it was then did the man's features jump out at her. He was kind of cute...

"Again," he chuckled grabbing the bag and hopping to his feet as well, he was a few inches taller than Paris, "It was my fault, I wasn't watching where I was going." Paris was about to say more but the pressure of her niece gently banging her head against her shoulder stopped her.

"I- uh," Paris muttered shyly, "Sorry again- crap!"

"No worries, sweets," the ginger chuckled, "I'm Jerome, by the way."

"Paris," she smiled with a slight bow, "Nice to meet you." Jerome smiled back at her before taking his leave, her eyes followed him until he faded into the darkness. A smile still on her face.

"Aunt Paris," the small voice of her niece broke through her thoughts, "Can we go home now? I'm sleepy." Paris finally remembered why she was outside, she hummed in compliance and headed to her car. The trip to Paris's brother's house was 15 minutes, it was a quiet 15 minutes, time seemed to fly by without a moment's notice.

The next thing Paris knew was that she was pulling into her brother's driveway, she shuffled out of the car with her niece in her arms, "Paris," her brother smiled as he opened the door, "Thanks for taking care of her."

"It was no trouble at all, Jack," Paris replied softly, "We had fun." she placed the young girl in her brother's arms. She could see he wanted to say more but she quickly nodded a goodbye and rushed to her car.

"Paris!" Jack called out before she could leave, "Take care of yourself, kid." Paris stared at him before flashing him a smile and driving off...

The next day Paris was called to the scene, her job was to evaluate people's mental state after a crime as well as help out the detectives gather evidence. She pulled up to the circus parking with no knowledge of what happened after she left the previous night. When she got out of her car, a detective by the name of Gordon approached her, "Ms. Beckett?" he stopped her in her tracks.

"Yes?" she replied flatly as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm detective Gordon with the GCPD, you were here when the commotion started correct?"

"Yes sir." Gordon looked much older than Paris, maybe around his late 20s to early 30s, "One of the circus members attacked a fellow circus member." the two of them began walking.

"That," the detective said through gritted teeth, "And we happened to stumble across a dead body." Paris nearly tripped over her own feet. Turns out that the body they found was the mother of Jerome, Paris could feel her heart plummet to her stomach. She couldn't imagine the pain that sweet boy was going through.

"So..." Gordon focused his gaze on the girl, "We want you to talk to him..." his tone was cold and blank.

"That's my job, detective," Paris replied, "But something in your tone says that you don't think I can do my job." Gordon scoffed and bit his cheek.

"How old are you again?" he cocked his head skeptically.

"18," she replied with confidence, "Should that matter?"

"Look, I have no problem with you- really- I just think you're a bit-"

"-Too young to be a psychiatrist and therapist?" she smirked, "I assure you, sir, I scored the top of my class." and with that she walked off, leaving the detective dumbfounded, a smirk crawling across her face.

Paris made her way to find Jerome, asking here and there about his whereabouts, he was sitting outside of his trailer hugging his knees with his face buried. The poor thing must've been crying all night. She approached him gently and quietly, "Jerome?" she chirped softly, causing him to jolt in his seat, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you-" she noticed that his eyes were red and puffy, probably from crying, she gazed at him warmly with a small smile.

All the boy did was sniffle and look away in shame and grief, "What do you want?" he grumbled, aware of the girl taking a small step closer to him.

"Mind if I sit by you...?" she tilted her head quizzically. Jerome just scowled in response, yet she still sat by him anyway. The boy didn't protest or argue, he just scooted over a bit to make room for the girl.

"Why are you here?" Jerome finally spoke, "You don't look like a cop..."

"That is true," Paris shrugged, "But I do evaluate people."

"What? So you're like a shrink?" he scoffed.

"I guess. But I'd also like to be your friend."

"Did they tell you to say that?"

"No," Paris chuckled, "I actually do want to be your friend."

"What's in it for you?" Jerome muttered.

"Another person to share jokes with and eat icecream with?" Paris noticed a change in Jerome's postrue, she smiled softly. The two of them sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Paris spoke again. "You doing okay? With all that happened?" Jerome sniffled and shrugged, rubbing his eyes against his sleeve.

Paris shifted to give him a hug but he jerked as if he was expecting her to smack him in the face. Her eyes met with his, once he saw no malicious intentions he calmed down and allowed her to gently hug him. Jerome cried into her shoulder for what seemed like hours, Paris rubbed his back soothingly and rocked back and forth softly. When he finished crying Paris hopped to her feet and extended a hand out to him.

"Walk with me?" she asked with a childlike wonder in her tone, Jerome couldn't refuse. The ginger took her hand in his and was quickly yanked to his feet and dragged away. The two of them weaved their way around the circus, Paris taking in the scene around her.

"Were you two close?" she asked, Jerome tilted his head in confusion, "You and your mother?" Jerome hissed in disgust as she mentioned his mother, that hiss was enough to answer Paris's question. Jerome began to tell the girl about his relationship with his mother and how she would always beat him, he told her about how he would often find his mother in bed with another man, about how she would get drunk and hit him again and again for no reason at all. Paris jotting down notes as a therapist would.

"'Jerome'," he mocked, "'Go take out the trash!' Or 'Jerome, it's always your fault!' followed by her banging a clown in the other room. I'm sorry, I'm rambling again."

"It's quite alright," Paris reassured him, "As a friend, and a therapist, it's my job to listen." Jerome stopped and smiled at her, she was quite different than the others he had met.

"My mother's love life never really bothered me at all," Jerome continued, "I mean, it's the reason I exist."

"True." Paris shrugged in agreement.

"I just hope that they find whoever did this..."

"I do as well..." Paris's voice grew quiet, Jerome noticed that her gaze darkened so he quickly changed the subject.

"I gotta go run some errands soon," he scratched his neck, "But I kinda wanna talk to you more."

"Thank you." Paris beamed at this comment.

"Mind if I get your number, sweets?" Paris didn't refuse, she quickly scribbled her number on a fresh page in her notebook before tearing it out and handing it to the ginger. Jerome said his thanks as he shoved the piece of paper into his jeans pocket, "When's a good time to call you?" he asked before he left.

"Around 5:30-6ish," Paris hummed, "Weekends I'm free to talk all day."

"You wanna go out to dinner with me tonight?" Jerome asked before she left.

"Sure, surpirse me!"

"I'll call you later tonight."

And with that the two said their goodbyes and headed their separate ways...

Back to present day, in Arkham...

Paris waited patiently for an answer, Jerome's frenzied gaze burning a hole through her composure and confidence. The silence was suffocating.

"Well?" she urged, "I'm waiting for your answer." Jerome only laughed, if it were during other circumstances Paris would've adored that laugh of his. But in that moment his laugh brought fear.

"You remember the time I took you out for dinner," Jerome started, "Right, sweets?"

[alwaysbesassy]

uuurgh i am sorry, i know i bother you a lot... Ugh its just that i dont have no one else to talk about these things and it makes me really sad and.. I am already facing the hardest time in my life, emotionally... I am a mess rn, and all this eruri drama is killing me so much since the chapter 84 if it wasnt for "the answer book" i'd probably would burn or throw away all my snk merch (i know this is childish) i'd probably would do something worse... and here we go spoiler week aka worst week

and i am so afraid i’ve even saw people commenting about the editor-kun that he was drunk or something but i’ve seen no img (and i use 2 rely a lot on editor-kun and now i am feeling even worse!) i am so scared and i am already having panic attacks even feeling phisical pain? it’s just stressful… idk i swear if lev0 take a fkin oc path i don’t know what i will do, for me it hurts a lot… not having  erwin anymore.. but i know that erwin was levis most important person, so my only hope in lifeis that levi will die with memories about erwin and something involvin erwin (i am sorry about my english rn i cant even think right) i don’t wanna levi alive in this circus i hate so much how this is going omg… but my point is i wanna levi to die (i wish it was soon but i will be realistic) and his memoris/motivations/heart always on erwin like it always was… I am afraid about the furute, i don’t know what i will do to myself… and sorry again for bothering youlast ask i promise, and i again hided all of my snk merch cuz i cant even look u know? i swear for everything in this world erwin and levi are the only thing that makes me happy and… i know they are real I KNOW (yaaams basically said it himself in answers and the original VAs and the freakin editor and all the other things) i just don’t wanna… see everything fade away like it was nothing, because it was everything… they are real, and i am so sad i just need a good closure.. memories idk..

You aren’t bothering me. I understand how you feel and tbh the only reason I am able to keep calm(ish) during spoiler week is because of a few people over on twitter that have really helped me to understand snk and have made me feel a lot better about future chapters (I say this before having my monthly breakdown after seeing Levi’s miserable face).

Firstly, editor-kun was just having some fun with this “spoiler” lmao.

Second, I think most of us worry about how Levi will be depicted after what happened to Erwin. My own take is that he’ll just get along, do his part as a soldier, follow orders, and remain Captain Levi, but when the time comes to fight Zeke it will be against orders. I’m imagining we’ll get another instance of Hans screaming “hey,wait!” (like when Levi kicked down the door in 85) but it’ll be too late. And yes, I agree with you, I hope there is a slow-mo (drama™) moment where we can hear some of Levi’s thoughts before he’s killed. Honestly, that’s how i’d prefer it to happen but at the same time, I worry that Isayama won’t have the guts to kill his most popular character. But hey, Erwin is the 2nd most popular character and he was able to let him go. Bert is immensely popular with Japanese fans too. I have times when I start to despair but after Erwin died people became aware that no one is safe, and suddenly Levi’s death has not only become expected, but accepted.

You’ll be ok, we’ll get through this shitstorm together. And remember that when s2 starts, we’ll (hopefully) be getting nice chunk of eruri goodness, as well as many wins.

Don’t forget, the beauty of fictional characters is that they can exist for as long as we want/need them to. Just because something is “canon” doesn’t mean any of us have to stop loving them or creating our own worlds for them either in fanfic, art, or simply just daydreams. What good would a fictional character be if they were forgotten as soon as the publication finished? They stay with us and are alive forever. Heck, there are people who believe Sherlock Holmes is still alive because he extracted the elixir of life from the honey of his bees. Point is, people can have fun with fictional characters and be stupid and happy and whatever. They won’t fade away as long as you love them. I worry about where snk is going too, but if it goes somewhere I don’t like, i’ll keep eruri in my own way (aus, canon divergence) and let the canon go. No one gonna stop meeeeeeeeeeee

Hope you’re ok, feel free to come to my inbox anytime! I’ll worry with you but honestly, even if Levi is ooc, the worst thing that could have happened already did happen in c84. No way in the world we’ll ever feel worse than that so…

Sorry for the ramble, I hope i’ve been *some* comfort to you. I understand how you feel and am exactly the same, so never feel that you’re alone with that.