#I'VE BEEN TO A WORLD WORTH LIVING IN
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milk crates — pigeon pit
like a dog tugging on a rope I don't even know where I'd go if they let go is that a train?
#milk crates#pigeon pit#feather river canyon blues#music things#the winter passes. my jaw unclenches. the ferns outside my window learn to open up.#NO JOB#NO PLACE TO GET AWAY FROM#I'VE BEEN TO A WORLD WORTH LIVING IN#NO RENT#NO LIES TO MEMORIZE#NO FUCKED UP WORLD TO DROWN OUT#and there are things in your life that you were made to run away from but it's not your grief. or your pain. or any other kind of love
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Monkey MK: "There's something inside you, that you can't control. You know what you are, deep down. A beast, a monster—harbinger of chaos! This thing, that wants to hurt, that wants to destroy, that wants chaos! You're so terrified to let it out! But the truth is, you like it. It makes you feel strong. It's who you are!"
(5x04 The Storm Within)
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Nine: "No, I told you, I get out either way! But, I have had enough of control, enough of watching people put themselves in cages! Of...watching them push away the chaos, when the chaos is what makes them who they are!"
(5x09 Sacrifice)
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*sweats*
#*cough* didn't uh#Didn't realize these were so on the nose as parallels. Like that each line is the opposite of the other#oh we're fucked in s6#oh hello#lego monkie kid#lmk#lmk parallels#lmk theme: identity#lmk MK#lmk Nine#lmk spoilers#lmk s5#*cough*.....eamk for s6.....in a way. In the way that matters to me#Like I've been thinking about the difference between like#Yellowtusk wanting to believe in Azure (''But at the cost of the world?'') and the gang wanting to believe in MK#and how there really is no difference. but YT's belief was framed as ''bad'' and the gang's was framed as ''good''#''I'm sorry pal. But ain't nothin` worth that price!'' uhuh and then it was. Pigsy u little hypocrite#everyone was happier to die with MK than to live without him??? Because they are insane???#and I'm like#bro#the rammies#the rammies next season bro#like MK. MK did kinda choose his friends over the GUARANTEED safety of the world.#He's so funny like that#I just am assuming the open door to chaos is going to have rammies
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i have art block but i just had a burger (more like 2,5) so perfect in flavour combination and texture that i wanted to cry and life was so beautiful and all my worries went away it was like a spiritual experience this picture represents maybe 1/6th of what that felt like
#i'm fine mentally btw (/gen) i just really fucking love burgers#wolfart talks#i'd srsly give actual head just to eat a burger like this#i'd give all the money in the world#i've been waiting for weeks to eat one of those#they are very specific burgers mad by my dad#i'm in extacy rn#everything is okay no i know life will be okay#because there are beutiful things in life like this burger#life is worth living#if it means these#ok im done
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Sorry I'm a bit late on this, but I just wanted to say congrats on finishing season 1 !! 🥳

LOSING MY MIND AT HOW PERFECT THIS IS!!!!!! THANK YOU PIO!!!!! B'*)
#fanart#This is so so so sweet...seriously thank you so much for everything pio#I'm ENTRANCED!!!!!! I've been ponyfied!!!! with the boots and cutie mark to match!!!!!#you're a huge inspiration in so many ways B'''*)#And the little creatures...they are so small but so perfectly shaped#Miss apple is PERCHED. Little Wangji is BRAIDING. Little WWX is living his best life (that face is..so cute)#little jing lin and fairy....aughh my HEART#and of course the lan junior duo.....standing smiling and standing silly. As they should be.#They are also height accurate to canon form <3#I was wating for someone to point it out but...there's a reason everytime I draw them next to flowers they are small B*)#all pd-mdzs characters are ~5-7 cm tall. They are like little fairies. I was serious every time I referred to the little strands as antenna#Rather they are like little borrowers. They have little mouse paws and tails. little mouse noses. Fine little whiskers. In my heart.#the more you know!#(I will draw them as the creatures they deserve to be. One day.)#On a meta level they are also very small. Each square panel is 1/4 of a sticky note. about 8 comics fit on one page.#Scrolling back up to look at Pio's art again to remember what its all for. That living is worth it.#Kissing this art gently and accidently hitting the post button to let these beautiful creatures roam the world wide web.#Maybe I should draw my sona as a horse for a bit... It would solve my problems about not having enough horses to draw....
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its my 28th birthday tomorrow so i want to say while i still can
- i am 27 years old
- i have no money and no prospects
- i'm already a burden to my parents
- i am frightened
#pride and prejudice#i have been in my girlflop girlfailure era for ten sad pathetic years#i have however made wonderful friends and wouldnt change it for the world#and learned so much about myself and i have gained back so much of the confidence i've lost#im genuinely hopeful about the future despite being a mentally ill lump for my entire adulthood so far#and like im gonna be real#a lot of what got me through it was the friends i made here on tumblr#i love you all#thank you for being my internet greek chorus for the past decade#my tumblr friends saved me and for my 28th birthday i want to acknowledge that#and yknow. shitpost#to missy marjorie lauren chloe mary elise val mina ted xander aimee alyssa and all my other mutuals over the years#you are awesome and i hope i can share with yall any amount of the joy im gonna feel tomorrow on my birthday#i may be in my flop era but life is still worth living
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apparently i also put tolerate it by taylor swift on my playlist for vene....... i also see it. perhaps in a looser sort of way.
#( 💭 faun thinks )#maybe i'll talk abt some of the songs i put on there for him..... because i can. nobody can stop me in my own home.#with this one in particular probably a controversial take but i see it relating to his close relationships#because... think about it...... a lot of the ppl he's closest to insult him... esp romano... and even germany#that + how i see him having issues w/ self worth given his history of being chased after for his inheritance#+ the fact that he clearly takes words to heart with how much he praises others and seems to love being praised#i think he actually doesn't feel that loved but keeps up w/ trying to be loving because it's all he can really do#acknowledging that feeling of discontent would just create problems he doesn't want to deal with#and doesn't think can be dealt with to begin with#do the people he loves actually love him or do they just tolerate him#also i see parts of this tying into his childhood w/ austria as well#being scolded and bullied despite attempts to Be Good and earn Approval#which i think particularly fucked him up after living w/ rome and being treated overall well#only for him to die and vene to be kicked out into the real world where he was terribly mistreated#i see him feeling like he fell from grace in some way going from being a good kid who was praised#to one who could never do anything right (being a hyperbole)#thus feeling like he has to earn back or maintain that status of being Good#yet also w/ his experience of being sought after for his inheritance... ok losing the point here but i have Thoughts#thoughts i keep in the tags... for now...#keep meaning to make on itapost on this topic but then i get too nervous lol#i've also been wanting to make an itapost on vene's feelings towards rome and how he feels like he has to live up to some standard#in relation to him (but obviously doesn't and how that affects his self esteem)#soon maybe#itaposting
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
#lizzy speaks#hello everyone. i know that there are *checks calendar* still 20 days left of december and 2023#but i've had a lot of strong emotions and feelings i've had to sort through as i've been thinking about how 2023 went for me#so a lot of what i've written here comes from the perspective of someone in their early 20s#it's like... a crash and burn from when you were a teenager thinking that you know everything#and realizing how big the world is and how many responsibilities there are#all while a feeling of overwhelm looms over as you try to sift your way through the world and adjust your understanding of it#for me i've definitely had an underlying thought that 'you should have your shit together by now why aren't you there yet'#and it's! not motivating! at all! to think that way. and it's made me more than ever want to be a friend to myself. to extend a patient-#kind voice to myself that reminds me that others are also trying to navigate these feelings and to accept that i'm not going to have an-#instantaneous understanding of how one goes about adulthood. and neither will they. even if they look 'put together.'#like... these people have also undergone similar stresses and along the way figured out how to navigate through that space#and personally i've found peace in knowing that there are people who are older than me. trusting that they've dealt with these things too i#some shape or form and that them living... being here.. is proof that we shall be fine in the end and that we will move past what plagues-#our mind. there's definitely been some... anger i've had this year that. school didnt teach me these things or skills!! i was so mad lol#but hey if we are little guys who are living on planet earth for the first time we shouldn't condemn ourselves to an unrealistic standard-#of going through life and being able to instantly do everything 'correctly' and know how everything works#i'm still working on improving that patience... and also trying to put in the work to understand these things.#in the midst of a very tough week for me i was tempted to say that 'nothing happened this year it was not productive'#but then i was like. that's. objectively not true if you just look at other things. also theres worth in life outside of 'productivity'#...i think i passed 20 tags at this point. but like. my favorite thing about 2023 was meeting so many cool awesome people!#who would've known that funny lil squid game could bring so many connections and friendships i cherish!#thank you so much! for being a part of my life and changing me for the better! for giving me many fond memories!#and i'm very grateful to anyone who supported me and my art this year... for sticking around even though i wished i could do more#it means the world to me knowing that there's proof that i exist and have touched someone's life in a positive way! thank you! truly!#ANYWAY. happy early new year. i hope everyone can nourish a friend in their head that extends acceptance and patience to themselves#as we try and make sense of the world together. there will be things that we don't understand yet! but one day we will! and it'll be like#wow! look how far i came! i'm okay! i'm alive! yipee! thank you for reading this post i made to get my feelings out! have a nice day!
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#tag talk#been exploring the pessimism and nihilism subreddits and honestly? not vibing.#I was hoping to relate some since I've been really mulling over the question of meaning and purpose in the world but nah.#feels like it's just average depression posting.#feels like people say “nothing matters” when really they mean “I find no meaning in things normally considered good”#like.. bro you're denying value to “good” things while still according value to “bad” things#you're still caught up in the game of assigning worth and value arbitrarily#if nothing matters then who cares if you're sad? why does that matter?#I'm tired of being sad. so what? life continues until it doesn't. who gives a shit?#I really need to read up on more philosophy shit. stoicism is next on my list to check out#if life is worth dying from then it's worth living for. neither path is more valuable than the other. pick one and travel it#r/nihilism is so fucking funny actually#I should have checked out this sub ages ago
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Besties. The devastatingly and shockingly low self worth. Help
#i can't even make a funny post i was like you know what. i'm gonna do it. i've got all the pieces.#MOSTLY. but i have SO MANY PIECES. I CAN MAKE. MOE EVENT TIMELINE.#not only did that not work out as intended fizzled real bad i also just. looks back at the fucking. realizes. oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#it is such a surreal experience like to love being trans and have that literally save your life make it worth living#and geniunely like. i like that. that's fucking awesome.#and then i scoot the rug over a lil bit like hey wait a minute. there's years and years and years of abysmal self worth issues under here#what the hell. what the fucking hell. what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#literally i've just been chilling not chilling ever since. laying down tense style. not even fucking comfy.#fuck my entire life. you know.#like idk man i've felt like a burden my entire life and then built my entire life around not being a burden.#i'm safe and the entire world at large is safe. from ME#and nobody's ever gonna love me again but that's not important 👍#i literlally like to play and draw.....................#i should shower. to stave off the demons.
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omg you’re active! how are you girly? how has life been treating you?
LMAO hello!!! I'm doing okay!!! certain things in my life are going really really well and I'm very grateful for that but it's at odds with the overall existential dread I feel about the state of .... everything else. so. there's that!!!!!!!!!
I've clearly been around a little less (lol) just because of the sheer amount of stuff going on in my life but every once in a while the hyper fixation bug is poking its head out. I haven't sat down and written in a minute and I feel like there's a missing piece of me. here's to hoping that 2025 has a television show waiting for us that is so jaw droppingly good I'm back to bugging your dashboard everyday 🫶🫶🫶
how are you doing???? are we all hanging in there???
#file this under the latest in a long line of signs that I should come around more often LMAO#I am usually hovering in the margins and stalking but I guess I haven't been reblogging like. anything. ASKJDHFLKAJSHDF.#anyways a lot of that ties back to the fact that I got a new boss at work#which !!!! I don't talk too much about the specifics of my job on here other than telling y'all all the annoying bits LMAO#but without going into it too much it's a good thing I have this new boss and it's something I've been asking for#for literal years now#and I REALLY like my new boss#there's just a certain expectation for the amount of work I need to do that's been raised#not necessarily by my new boss directly but mostly by myself because I want to impress him LMAO#so I'm busier than I have been#anyways!!! that's on oversharing!!!#I also discovered the genre of adhd relief music on Spotify and my productivity has been forever altered#I haven't yet had the chance to turn the power of that music to writing but I'm hoping I will soon#between the music and a pair of noise cancelling headphones..... I'm unstoppable.#also I was just walking around the place where I live this morning thinking that I'm so thankful for so many things#even when I'm so angry about so many others#like I live in a place that I love and I have friends who I love both here and around the world and I just#idk#the sun was shining today and I was like a plant photosynthesizing#cue Justin Bieber singing life is worth living!!!!#ALSO. everyone go watch my fault London right now and tell me what you think!!!!!#poor anon I know you did NOT ask for all of that but here I am!!!!
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It was so unbelievably messed up of me to make the last two songs on that playlist "Tengo de xubir al puertu" and "Tú que vienes a rondarme"
#songs that put together with the context of this fic say i am going to do this thing that is really hard for me#because i've realized that you are the center of my world and that fact alone makes it worth it - even if i might not succeed#just the thought of you is comfort and anchor enough#this fic is unpublishable i think it will collectively destroy the psyche and will to live of the entire fandom#it sure is quite possibly doing that to me. what is wrong with me#<- guy who has been going through an excruciating roller coaster of an emotional experience since june or perhaps three years ago#perce rambles
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how are you color coded?
BLUE CODED
Blue, a study in wisdom, belief, and knowing when enough is enough. You know yourself best, but you know the way the world works even more. You've been wandering in this world a little too long, and maybe that's the problem. You're a wanderer, a vagabond, an oracle, and a prophet all the same. Who are you when the curtain call drops the last encore on you? Do you dance behind the scenes for a job well done or are you already planning your next show? Take a breather, for a moment. Enjoy what you've done, enjoy what you have, enjoy the world that you've been wandering for so long. This world is so much better when you realize that some of it is worth living for.
Tagged by: @rubbarband Tagging: @justiceburst (any muse), @fatexbound (Akihiko or Shinjiro), @as-above-rp (Kairi or Yue), @seesjoy, @trickstersshadow, @ofhope (Maruki), @oraclememehacker, @gentlemanthiief, and anyone wearing a t-shirt!
#ic#ic info#Kotone#((this feels on brand with what I've been seeing of Kotone through the game#especially the last part of 'some of this world is worth living for' and considering THE THEMES OF PERSONA 3 UHHHHH#I like the results for her on this one! it's very interesting!))
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Thinking about how AI taking over the simpler calls at my last workplace was part of the reason why the job started to suck (the calls left are the more difficult/want to yell at you people, less staff on in general etc) and led to me quitting in a mental health/burnout breakdown.
But it's not art, it's one of the sucky things people say they DO want AI to replace without actually thinking about what that means for people.
And it's happening to more and more customer service jobs, so there's less of them out there, and the ones that are suck more etc.
#it wasn't even good ai#it got things wrong and frustrated people#but the bosses loved it bc it saved money in staff#while they weren't the ones being yelled at when it fucked up#idk what i'm doing next#it's been over 6 months and i've luckily had savings and live with family#but i've been telling myself i'll start applying for things again soon when there's things worth applying for#but there just isn't anything else out there#i keep having stress dreams about ending up back at there#and i know if i asked they'd probably take me#though most of the people i liked have moved on too#so it would suck even more#the world is depressing
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How it feels when I read fanfic:

#YESSS!!!!! THIS!!!#hahah yep I've done all those 🤭#thankyou to you wonderful authors!!! you've given me SO much joy (and sometimes tears 🥺👌🏻).#you've let me live for a moment in your beautiful worlds and stories that i treasure in my heart for always#you've brightened dark days.#I've stayed up late. I've read at work when i REALLY should've been working.#please know that you are all so special and your beautiful words and all your hard work is SO worth it!!#THANK YOU!!!!!#@ all my lovely authors. i love you#writer appreciation#writer support
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spoke up at a big deal meeting in front of big deal people about how people who are not a big deal like me need all kinds of support. I ended up crying for idk how long bc it's very embarrassing to admit you make no money writing in front of people who make money writing.
#for a very long time i wanted to see someone like me in the hockey space#and it turns out I have to be that person and its scary#but someone's gotta fucking do it i guess#for the me who cried for weeks that she'd never work in hockey again#for the me that was discriminating against in the sports world#for the me who screamed in her car that this wasn't the life she was supposed to be living#i am worth so much more than the ways i've been treated
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decided to stop freelancing and be an employee instead so it'd be easier to get a better apartment... only to find out that my income isn't enough to qualify for any kind of apartment after all! lol! lmao even!
#i was so fixated on having enough for rent and saving up for the deposit#and overlooked that i need a certain income to qualify in the first place#and i don't make nearly enough. i wouldn't even make enough if i worked this job full-time#it's not even entry-level. i've been in this field for 4+ years!#i got a raise last month but it's still not enough!#it's just. so frustrating to be shown that your time and work are worth so little.#that you can't even have a decent living place...#i am so bad at capitalism... god i really am not made for this world...#x
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