#I'VE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR A SOLID FEW MINUTES NOW OKAY

[starlost-mochi-x]

lonely st. ✧ chapter iv : falling

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)

warnings: lonely reader, school!au, hyunjin's knees are finally healing, someone else is kinda mean to y/n, swearing, descriptions of panic attacks and forced isolation, hyunjin is the sweetest softest boy ever

a/n: ...this took a while

series masterlist | skz masterlist

"Yah, Hyunjin, what the fuck did you do to your knees?"

Hyunjin looked across at Jisung, pulling his basketball jersey on.

"Oh," he said calmly. "I fell."

Jisung tutted at him, waggling a finger in Hyunjin's face. They were the last three boys in the changing rooms, having been split into smaller teams for longer, more individualized training. Felix watched the interaction with interest, piping up.

"You fall over a lot, you know," he observed. "Surprisingly often for the school's star basketball player."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, turning back to his locker, tying the cords of his shorts. His gaze flitted down to his knees, where he'd stuck the bandaids Y/n had given him. They were quite sticky considering the designs; Hyunjin had seen Jisung buy colourful bandaids that didn't last more than ten minutes.

Two of the bandages were stuck to his left knee, one yellow with a smiley face across it, and the other solid stripes of light pink and purple, like a Cheshire cat. The one on his right knee was lime green, with solid black writing that detailed 'I'M OKAY' in wobbly writing. He loved them so much.

The fourth bandaid he'd stuck to his face, replacing the little chicken one that had peeled off. It was white, with a little pink and black spider in the middle, his favourite one so far. Truthfully, the little cut on his cheekbone had practically healed by now and didn't need anything covering it, but Hyunjin liked wearing the bandaids. It made him feel connected to Y/n, and he felt brighter somehow, as if he was one of her colourful keychains or pins.

Shaking his head, he turned back to Jisung and Felix with a smile. "Just a clumsy spell, I guess. It should heal before the championship."

Felix side-eyed him from his own locker. "It better. Jisung is hopeless on offense-"

"I'm not!"

Hyunjin let a small laugh escape his mouth. He looked across at his friends, neatly folding his uniform and placing it neatly on the shelf. He paused in his actions.

Jisung was holding his shirt above Felix's head, clearly attempting to hit him, the other boy's arms braced against his temples. They were both frozen, staring at Hyunjin with gaping mouths.

Hyunjin blinked, cutting himself off. "You know, I- what?"

Jisung whispered. "You laughed."

Hyunjin frowned. "What? Is it illegal now?"

Felix scrambled up from his position. "No, no, it's just- you've been so downcast lately. We thought something was really wrong."

Jisung chimed in. "Yeah. First it was the falling over at practice, then the being distracted during class. We were pretty worried, dude."

Hyunjin felt a little guilty at having worried his friends. His cheeks flushed and the bandaids on his knees and face suddenly felt like burning beacons. Jisung had promised not to tell anyone about his attempts to befriend Y/n, but he hadn't approved or disapproved of it. And Felix was a close friend too, but Hyunjin felt there would always be a possibility that they might not like it. Either that, or they would think he liked her. Most likely the second option.

His voice was quiet as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "I just felt stressed the last few days. I've just had a lot to do."

Felix's eyes narrowed. "You're literally never busy...?"

Panic set into Hyunjin's gut, frantic and buzzing. He stuttered a little, trying to come up with a quick lie to fool his friend.

"It's because of Y/n," Jisung blurted out suddenly.

Hyunjin threw his hands up in exasperation. "Jisung! I told you not to say anything!"

Felix's eyes bounced between them. He walked closer to Hyunjin, his gaze confused. "Y/n? You mean the weird loner girl in our class? The one who always disappears at breaktimes?"

"She's not weird," Hyunjin snapped at him, voice echoing in the locker room.

Felix's eyes widened a little, clearly taken aback. Jisung shut his mouth immediately, his friend's unusual outburst blanketing the room in a thick, heavy silence.

"You don't have to be such a jerk, Felix," Hyunjin flared at him again, well aware of the nastiness in his voice.

"Alright, man. Sorry."

Felix's voice was quiet, subdued, and Hyunjin felt a rush of remorse settle heavily in his stomach, the feeling sour in his mouth. He exhaled and sat down on the bench, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Just- she's not weird."

Felix gingerly sat down next to him. He was shirtless, having been halfway through taping his shoulder, and Hyunjin could feel the heat radiating off his skin. Felix placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as Jisung moved to sit down on his other side.

"I didn't mean it, Hyunjin," Felix's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

Hyunjin exhaled, running a hand through his dark, sleek hair. "It's fine. Just- she's not mean and intense and cold like everyone thinks she is. She gave me the chicken bandaid after I fell that time at practice, and all of these too." He gestured to his knees.

"I was wondering where you got those from," Felix chuckled, touching the one on his friend's face. "They're cute. Did you ask her for them?"

"No," Hyunjin replied softly, the ghost of a smile on his face. "She noticed both times and gave them to me. Felix, you don't understand, she's really sweet. Maybe a bit shy and awkward, but not cold. Not at all."

Felix smiled across at Jisung as Hyunjin talked. Jisung pouted cutely, pressing a hand discreetly to his heart in an 'aww' gesture.

"I wonder if she carries them around," Jisung said thoughtfully. "Maybe she's clumsy just like you, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin nodded silently in response. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't actually recall seeing her wear any of the colourful bandaids, not even on her hands or under the hem of her skirt. He wondered what she could possibly need them for.

Jisung leaned his head against Hyunjin's shoulder as Felix spoke up.

"Are you gonna get mad at me if I ask if you maybe, possibly, sort of like her?"

Hyunjin shook his head. "No, I don't. But there's no harm in being her friend. I don't know her that well, like, at all, but if I can make her life a little easier, then I should."

Jisung smiled. "That's sweet, dude. Maybe, once you get closer with her, we could start talking to her too."

Felix grinned, agreeing.

"Thanks," Hyunjin said softly. "I'm just going to be cautious around her from now on because I don't want to scare her off again. But maybe, once she opens up a little bit."

Jisung stood up, slapping his friend on the back. "Alright, that's settled, then. Let's go out to practice now. Oh, and Hyunjin, don't worry us like that again, man... It was weird not hearing your 1000 decibel laugh."

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, Felix snickering in the background.

"Don't worry," he said. "I won't."

Y/n kept her head down as she weaved throughout the students laughing and shouting in the hallways. The corridors were always busiest at lunchtimes. She ducked her head to avoid a tall senior who was wildly gesturing his arms in an animated retelling to his friend.

Looking behind her to make sure she wasn't about to get hit in the head, Y/n came up short just as she almost bumped headlong into Yeji. Her heart sank.

"Hey!" she greeted, smiling. "Haven't seen you in a while."

Y/n's fingers tightened around her sketchbook, fingers digging into the smooth, sticker-bombed surface. She gulped, palms beginning to sweat as she stared at Yeji. She'd been friends with her for almost three years, and there were not grudges between them, but for some reason Y/n found she couldn't reply.

"Um, yeah," she replied rather stiffly.

Yeji tilted her head, waving a hand in Y/n's face. "Helloooo? Anyone home?" She giggled.

Y/n flinched as Yeji's perfectly manicured hand waved in her face. She felt a searing pang of frustration and irritation shoot through her. Stepping back, she clutched her sketchbook to her chest, not knowing how to get out of the situation. The air around her suddenly felt hotter, and her shoulders were tense, like stretched rubber bands.

"Hey, Y/n!"

Y/n let out a tiny, gasping breath as Hyunjin jogged up to them. His hair was mussed and slightly slick, his tie loose and shirtsleeves rolled up messily. He must have come straight from playing basketball on the courts. Y/n saw Yeji subconsciously reach up to fix her hair, drawing a pale, pretty hand through the dark orange locks, pressing her lips together to even out the sparkly pink gloss smeared across them.

But Hyunjin paid her no mind, his smile directing its force towards Y/n. She noticed a textbook under his arm.

He tilted his head at her, inviting. "Did you wanna go to the library?"

Y/n was taken aback. There was a look in Hyunjin's eyes, some sort of layer to them that Y/n had never seen before. They were sort of slitted, his eyebrows slightly raised.

He's trying to get me out of the situation, she realised.

"S-sure," she stuttered, cursing herself inwardly.

Hyunjin gave Yeji an effortless smile and gestured for Y/n to walk alongside him. Yeji's smile dropped as he walked a few paces past her to Y/n.

Dropping her head, Y/n shuffled to him and he began to make casual, friendly conversation as they walked down the hallway. clearly attempting to distract her.

Yeji glared after them.

Hyunjin glanced across at Y/n as she slumped down into her usual seat, the table hidden from the rest of the library by the tall, slightly dusty shelves. He sat down delicately next to her, shuffling his chair a little bit away from her so as to give her space.

Her head was down on the desk and Hyunjin sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, wondering if he'd messed things up. But she hadn't looked exactly comfortable when he'd seen her talking to Yeji. He'd calmly observed from a distance, until Yeji had waved her hand in Y/n's face.

He knew she probably meant no harm, but it was clear that Y/n was beginning to panic after she flinched, so he had jogged up to her to try and give her an excuse to leave.

Hyunjin wondered if Y/n and Yeji were really friends. He'd seen them together a few times, talking, usually in a group with Ha-eun, Aeri, and Sangmi, but for some reason Y/n always seemed like she wasn't enjoying herself, usually quietly listening to the others talk excitedly or with her face buried in her sketchbook.

Hyunjin frowned a little, running his fingertips along the side of his closed textbook. If she had friends, why did she choose to be alone? Were they bullying her?

"Hey," he whispered. "You okay?"

He could hear tiny, short gasps coming from her side of the table and he fidgeted desperately, not sure what to do. He was pretty sure she was panicking. He'd heard Jisung do the same thing a couple times, usually after really important basketball matches. But he didn't understand why it happened, or what it was. Jisung kept it quiet, and Hyunjin didn't wish to intrude, so he'd patted his friend on the back and fetched his coach.

Then he had left.

You can't do that to Y/n, Hyunjin thought. I can't leave her, but I'm afraid if I stay, I might make it worse.

He scooted his chair just a tiny bit closer, keeping note of her breathing. His hand hovered unsurely over her back, wanting to offer some sort of comfort. Jisung had told him that different people liked to be comforted in different ways. He wondered how Y/n preferred to be treated when she was upset. He made a mental note to ask her later.

Leaning down to her level, Hyunjin placed one arm on the table, turning his head towards her. He exhaled and the warm breath stirred Y/n's hair. She didn't move. Hyunjin could see one hand pressed to her mouth, covering it. The other was hidden by her blazer lapel, pressed against her chest. Her knee was bouncing up and down rapidly and Hyunjin bit his lip, reaching out a feather-light hand to gently still it. Her knee stopped bouncing.

Hyunjin whispered to her worriedly. "Y/n, are you sick?"

A slight shake of the head. Hyunjin looked around for someone who could help, but he couldn't see past the library shelves. He stood up slowly, bending down to whisper to her.

"I'm gonna go find someone, okay?" He told her determinedly. "They can help-"

"No," she whimpered, almost inaudibly.

Hyunjin's eyes widened. Sitting down again, he leant close to her. Her hand, much smaller than his, moved to grip his wrist. It didn't even go all the way round. Hyunjin blinked, taken aback, but Y/n's tiny, hiccupping voice directed his attention to her instantly.

"Don't leave me," she gasped, a tiny sob leaving her mouth. Her head was still down on the desk. "Hyunjin, don't go, please-"

Hyunjin's brow creased in worry and he couldn't hold himself back any longer. Placing a gentle arm around her, he shuffled closer and leaned his head on the table next to hers.

"It's okay," he said as comfortingly as he could. "I won't leave. Just try and breathe, okay?"

He suddenly became aware that telling her to breathe wasn't really helpful advice, but he didn't know what else to do. What were you supposed to do when things like this happened? Was he supposed to stay? What was he supposed to say to her?

Tears pricked at the corners of Hyunjin's eyes.

Help her, Hyunjin. Do something.

Not knowing what else to do, he quietly began telling her about his day. About how he had to do his homework while the teacher was collecting it because basketball practice ran late last night and he didn't have time. About how he had seen Jisung, his friend, inhale half his food the second the bell went so he could go talk to a girl he liked from his English class.

"They spent literally the whole first breaktime flirting," he told her quietly. "My friend Felix had to grab him by his collar because we all share a class. Jisung always makes us late."

Hyunjin fought a relieved smile as he saw Y/n turn her head just a little, indicating she was listening. Her breathing was evening out and Hyunjin kept talking in a low, reassuring voice until he was positive she had calmed down completely.

"We had practice again this morning, and championships are soon, so we got split up into teams. Coach also told me after practice that he liked my bandaids. See?"

Y/n turned her head a little more as he shuffled back in his chair, facing his legs towards her. He pointed to the lime green one on his right knee, with the 'I'M OKAY' wobbly black writing.

"That one's my favourite," he said softly, sincerely. He pointed to the pink and purple striped one. "And this one reminds me of you, because it's like your bag, all these cool, colourful pins and keyrings."

He tapped his cheek, where the white bandaid with the pink and black spider symbol was stuck. "This one's my favourite, so I put it on my cheek. The cut's actually healed now, but I like it. I feel all decorated."

Y/n lifted her head slightly, a tiny sniff coming from her. He still couldn't see her face, so he brought his arm up a little, giving her comfort. He knew people didn't like to be seen crying.

"Hey," he whispered to her sincerely. "Are you feeling a little bit better?"

She nodded, lifting her head. There were tear stains down her cheeks, and her nose and eyes were red. Hyunjin dug in his pocket and produced a tissue, handing it to her. He always carried them around, finding them useful at random times, but he'd been secretly keeping one in his pocket in case his new friend needed it.

He silently congratulated himself as Y/n took the tissue with a tiny nod of thanks.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

Hyunjin met her eyes with a soft, worried gaze. "Why would you be sorry?"

"I wasted your time and now you have to sit here with me while I be a drama queen and cry-"

Hyunjin cut her off determinedly. "No, Y/n... I saw you were uncomfortable, and I did it because of that, but also..." His cheeks flushed, feeling warm. "I wanted to spend time with you." He finished quietly, admitting.

Y/n's gaze flitted to him, confused. She sniffed. "Why?"

He smiled back, a little embarrassed, but intent on telling her his intentions.

"It's actually really nice here. Besides, sometimes I don't feel like hanging out with my friends Jisung and Felix, or playing basketball, or talking at all, to be honest. Especially when I'm tired. But I always did it anyway because I didn't have anywhere else to go during lunchtimes."

He poked her shoulder gently, smiling. "And now I do, and I've got a new friend to do it with as well. Or classmate, who likes talking to me... At least I hope you do."

Y/n looked anywhere but him, feeling that strange, warm feeling settle in her stomach again. For some unknown reason it only happened around the dark-haired basketballer.

Hyunjin let out a little cheer of joy just as a tiny, reluctant smile cracked Y/n's mask.

Felix turned to Hyunjin as they walked down the little path leading to the bus stop. Jisung was walking ahead, seemingly in a better mood than usual; for Felix and Hyunjin, that meant supervising him while he bounced off the walls and stole random leaves off the trees on the sidewalk.

Felix huffed and called out a warning to Jisung who had almost tripped up ahead, before turning to Hyunjin.

"You catching the bus with us today?"

Hyunjin shook his head. "I found out that me and Y/n pretty much live really close, and we both go down the same street, so I asked her to walk with me like I did yesterday."

Felix grinned. "Seems like she's coming around."

"I hope so," he said quietly. "Sorry about leaving you with Jisung. I think he had one of those sugary energy drinks earlier between classes."

Felix rolled his eyes. "I'll be lucky if I get him onto the bus without him tripping and starting a fire of some sort."

Hyunjin laughed and squeezed his friend's arm just as the bus rolled up. He waited until Felix and Jisung had both entered and sat down, then he began turning and walking back the way he'd came. He'd asked Y/n to come with him while he walked his friends to the bus stop, but she had shyly declined, shaking her head before he had even finished his question. She seemed avoidant of being around large groups of people, Hyunjin observed.

She'd settled to wait at the school gates while he had walked the short distance to the bus stop. Looking up, she noticed Hyunjin approaching with a smile.

"Hey," he greeted. "Thanks for waiting for me."

Y/n nodded and they began to walk in silence. Hyunjin kept up a constant stream of cheerful chatter as they walked, skipping over stones. They passed the spot where Hyunjin had fallen and scraped his knees, and Y/n took his arm cautiously, eliciting a small, affectionate smile from the boy.

Reaching the willow tree, Hyunjin rounded the corner, gesturing for Y/n to follow him with a smile. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Let's go for a while longer, down to the shops," he told her. He hurriedly corrected himself at her expression. "Y-you don't have to. If you want to, though...? It doesn't have to be for long-"

Y/n nodded solemnly. "Okay."

Hyunjin let out a breath of relief as they continued walking. It felt new and different walking past the usual route to his house. He glanced sideways at Y/n, who was busy looking up at the sky. He let one of his hands fall from his pocket and dangle at his side so he could catch her just in case she fell. Looking down at the pavement as they walked towards the shops, he let his other hand fall from his pocket too, mistrusting his own steps, though he was being as careful as he could.

He had enough bandaids on his body already.

Y/n's phone buzzed. Setting her sketchbook down, and slightly jarred at the interruption, she crawled across the bed and picked it up from the bedside. Turning the screen on, and hissing at the brightness, she slammed it down on the pillow.

Staying up late at night was one of Y/n's favourite things to do. It was the reason her eyes were always dark and strained, but the night brought a peace and serenity the daylight could never give her. She'd been sketching in her pad by the light of a little pocket torch when her phone had gone off.

Sighing and turning the torch off, she squeezed her eyes shut tight, adjusting them, before picking up her phone once more. Swiping into her home screen, she noticed several message notifications. Her heart jolted unpleasantly.

It was none other than Yeji. The last message had been sent a minute ago.

yeji 🌷: you up?

Y/n gulped before texting back.

y/n ⛓️: yeah y/n ⛓️: what's wrong? it's late yeji 🌷: i was just wondering something... i couldn't sleep so i thought i'd ask you anyway. sorry if i woke you y/n ⛓️: no, it's okay. what is it? yeji 🌷: today, when we were talking... you and hyunjin yeji 🌷: are you dating him?

Y/n buried her face in her pillow, letting out a muffled groan. She knew this was bound to happen. Not that she didn't appreciate Hyunjin's help for getting her out of the situation. She had no clue why she had become so upset when she'd run into Yeji. Maybe it was the fact that Yeji was smart, pretty, funny, loved by most of the girls in their grade. She was just so normal.

Y/n was well aware that she had no reason to really hate Yeji. After all, they were friends.

Then why did Yeji irritate her so much?

y/n ⛓️: what makes you say that? yeji 🌷: you guys have been hanging out a lot lately... yeji 🌷: i didn't think he would be into someone like you

Y/n frowned, turning the screen off suddenly. What did she mean, 'someone like her'? Someone as quiet or lonely as she was? Someone who was the outcast of the school?

She turned the screen back on, flicking into the messages.

y/n ⛓️: we're not dating yeji 🌷: then why does he keep talking to you? y/n ⛓️: because he's my friend, and he's in most of my classes too. why? yeji 🌷: just wondering, haha

Huffing, Y/n glared at Yeji's reply message. Just wondering, totally. Anticipating an argument building, Y/n exhaled before typing out a final message.

y/n ⛓️: my phone's about to die. sorry.

Then she turned it off.

Hyunjin absentmindedly tossed his basketball between his hands, watching as the sunlight cast patterns across the vibrant orange material. It was pretty early, with some students milling through the halls, but mostly the corridors were empty. Basketball practice had finished pretty early that morning. His knees were healing well, and he was feeling ready and prepared for the upcoming championship matches.

Jisung and Felix had stayed behind to run some training drills. Hyunjin knew that 'training drills' meant messing around and trying to hang from the hoops by their arms while their coach wasn't there. He appreciated the opportunity to quietly walk by himself nonetheless, smiling as he thought of the way Jisung would excitedly tell him about the morning's antics in form class.

Turning a corner, he ran directly into someone, dropping the basketball in surprise.

"Yeji," he said, blinking. "Sorry, I didn't see you."

She grinned at him, teasing. "Am I that short, Mr. Hwang?"

Hyunjin chuckled. Him and Yeji were somewhat close, having been in the same inner circle of their old friend group before it had eventually split. Hyunjin went with the boys on his basketball team and Yeji stuck with the other girls, some of which he'd seen with Y/n. Or around her, to be more specific. They usually ignored her, chatting excitedly, while she was left in the dust. Maybe they thought that there was no need to talk to her unless she talked first. The thought made his fingers tighten around the basketball as he moved to pick it up.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Yeji."

She smiled back, clearly pleased to have ran into him. "Yeah. How's basketball?"

"Good." They began walking down the hallways in silence. Yeji was seemingly expectant, and Hyunjin wondered if there was a group event or hangout he'd missed that she was about to pester him about. Maybe she was just waiting for his reply.

"So," Yeji began, eyes glinting as she looked up at Hyunjin. "You and Y/n, huh?"

There it is. Hyunjin fought the urge to roll his eyes as he replied.

"No, we're friends."

"That's what everyone says. Why else would you befriend her?"

Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, basketball slipping a little under his arm. He frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

Yeji flicked a long strand of orange hair behind her shoulder, looking up at him innocently. "I mean," she said breezily, "she's kind of an outcast."

Hyunjin fought the urge to snap at her, or throw his basketball in her face, or tug her hair out. Or all three, preferably. But he kept his cool with some effort, masking his anger with the fake guise of coughing suddenly. His breath suddenly caught in his throat and he actually started coughing.

Yeji placed a manicured hand on his back in concern, leaning closer to him.

"You okay?" she said gently, in concern that Hyunjin had a feeling was entirely fake and most likely an excuse to get closer to him.

"Yeah," he said wheezily, knocking a fist against his chest. "All good."

Yeji tilted her head and they kept walking. Hyunjin wanted nothing more than to slap her in the face, but something in his gut told him to play along and see what Yeji said.

"So, about Y/n," he started hesitantly. "What do you mean, 'why else would i befriend her'?"

Yeji sighed. "Hyunjin, literally no one likes her. I'm only friends with her because she hangs around me like a fly. I was just wondering why you were friends with her."

Hyunjin's mouth pressed into a thin line. Yeji had always been pretty upfront and honest with him. But it was still jarring listening to her admit that three years of friendship with Y/n had been a lie. That she was just a pity friend. Hyunjin was disgusted.

But he couldn't tell Yeji that. Otherwise she would tell everyone and perhaps make up a few lies along the way. He'd seen her do it to another guy from the soccer team and it hadn't ended well. He'd left the school.

"It's just that I need help to pass English this semester," he said to her as honestly as he could. It was surprisingly convincing, considering it was a complete lie. "She's pretty smart."

Yeji blinked up at him through long lashes. "Is that why you keep going to the library with her? So she can tutor you?"

Hyunjin nodded.

Yeji continued, a hint of suspicion in her voice. "Y/n's pretty socially dumb, but not that much. What did you offer her in return for the tutoring? I doubt she would've done it for free."

Hyunjin blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "A date with me."

Yeji let out a short, high-pitched laugh. "No waaayyy, Hyunjin. That's so sneaky of you. I bet she didn't suspect a thing."

Hyunjin let out a short, forced laugh. "Yeah. I just really need to pass English, otherwise I might get kicked off the basketball team..."

They reached the end of the hallway. Yeji stopped and turned to him, tilting her head and smiling. "You don't have to rely on that loser to tutor you. I'm doing pretty well in English right now. I'll tutor you instead."

Panic seized Hyunjin's gut. "Oh, uhm- I'd hate to trouble you. Wouldn't wanna take up any of your time."

Yeji shook her head eagerly. "No, it's fine," she pulled out her phone and waved it in Hyunjin's face. "Text me a time and then you can come over to mine tonight, okay? It'll be fun."

Hyunjin had no choice but to nod. "Um, sure. I guess."

Yeji giggled, touching his arm. "And remember, this conversation stays between us. Don't tell your little friend Y/n, okay?"

Hyunjin nodded, forcing a smile onto his face.

"Sure, Yeji."

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[drowsydregon]

GIRL HELP WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

[evie-sturns]

wrong room - Matt Sturniolo

summary: you recently met nick through social media, he invites you over to his house for the night. while walking to the bathroom you accidentally enter the wrong room, walking in on matt masturbating.

contains: smut, caught masturbating, soft!dom matt, swearing, light choking.

a/n: this fic will contain different pov's between yours and matts, but it will have a little text so you will known when.

—----------------┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐----------———

i met nick just the other month at taras party, we instantly clicked resulting in him inviting me round today. i've been hanging out with him around his house his whole day with one of his triplet brothers, chris, i think.

(y/n's pov)

i lean against nicks countertop as he has a poor attempt to cook, "nick- nick no!" i laugh, grabbing the bag of flour as he repeatedly hits it with his elbow while mixing the dough.

"oh god, my fault" he says with a a grin as chris walks over, he spanks the cookie dough which is inside the mixing bowl, earning a slap from nick.

"okay- i'll give it a go." i decide to finally step up, nick steps out of the way as i look into the bowl, its somehow completely unmixed even after hes mixed for a solid 5 minutes.

i look over my shoulder, my eyebrows knit in confusion as i lock eyes with nick, "i'm actually not sure how i managed that."

"its okay baking isn't for everyone." i tease, he scoffs as chris laughs, "how do you mix for 20 minutes and all the ingredients look the exact same as when we put them in the bowl." chris says,

nick mocks him with a finger in the air and a nerdy tone, chris punches his shoulder.

i step away, "do you guys have a bathroom?" i ask, "nah we shit in the woods." chris says.

"yeah, we use the bark off the trees to wipe then bury it with our hands." nick adds on, unlocking the backdoor and opening it for me.

i go to walk out slowly, chris grabs my shoulder and spins me around, "down the hallway, and the last door on the left."

"oh-" i say with a loud laugh as i walk down the hall, i hear the metal of the bowl collide with the wooden floor from behind me "shit!" nick says.

i get to the end of the corridor and look to my right, the door is shut. i grip the handle and open it,

my eyes widen as i instantly grow hot, the third triplet, matt, is laying across the bed. hes wearing a green shirt and a necklace hangs loosely around his neck. his sweatpants are tugged down to his mid thighs as he's repeatedly running his hand up and down his length with his head thrown back.

(matts pov)

"fuck- fuck fuck-" strings of whimpers exit my mouth as slick noises fill the room, i brush my fingers over my sensitive tip before continuing to run my hand up and down my cock, the cold metal of my rings dragging against the veins.

"oh my god 'm- please please-" i whine, squeezing my eyes shut as i throw my head back against my headboard. my ears ring,

i dont even register the click of the door opening until i hear a feminine gasp "shit-" i hear.

my eyes spring open as i abruptly stop all hand movements, she stares at me in shock. her face is white and her mouth is open, after a few seconds she scrambles out of the room with several 'sorry's'

i sigh as my cheeks grow red, i didn't even cover myself. my hand is still wrapped around my length.

i stand up out of bed, my legs weak. i'm still hard but i've completely lost my train of thought, too embarrassed to think about finishing now. i hear the bathroom door slam shut, meaning that this girl has now found the bathroom.

i pull up my sweatpants, grabbing hand sanitiser off my bedside table and clean up my hands before pulling up my sweatpants.

"matt!!" i hear nick call from the kitchen. i open the door of my bedroom before making my way up the corridor.

(y/n's pov)

i unlock the door to the bathroom before walking back up towards the kitchen, the 3 triplets are there.

"we got the cookies in the oven but it turned to fucking liquid as soon as we put 'em in." chris says, pulling out the chair to the dining table and flopping down on it,

"this is matt, i don't think you've met him yet." nick says, matt and i lock eyes and he sticks his hand out for a hand shake.

i hesitate before shaking his hand, "formal ass greeting" nick says, elbowing matt and sitting down at the table, "sorry- 'm matt" matt says, running a hand through his hair "no worries, im y/n!" i say chirpily

all four of us gather at the table, matt is directly opposite me and i can feel his eyes lying on me, we keep making eye contact as chris and nick speak with each other about god knows, hes painfully attractive i have to admit, his tatoos, rings, awkward persona.

"its almost midnight, do you wanna start headed to bed?" nick asks me, i nod before walking off with nick towards his room.

"are you okay?" nick asks me as soon as the door shuts, "no- no i'm fine."

"is it matt?" nick laughs slightly as he pulls on a crewneck sweater and leaps into his bed. "yeah- no- i mean it's just i've met him before..?" i lie through my teeth, nick nods suspicously.

"well i'm tired as shit so i'm gonna cut it" nick says, "cut it?" i laugh, laying down beside nick.

"go to sleep? cut it....?" he smiles with a shrug.

-

nicks fast asleep, i just now remember the fact the cookies have been in the oven for over 35 minutes. i jump up, speed-walking out of the room and into the kitchen. i take out the metal tray, the 'cookies' are just lumps of charcoal now.

with a groan i exit the kitchen, i can see through the crack in his bedroom door that matt's still awake.

i don't know what posseses me but i knock softly on the door, "come in." i hear.

i open the door, matts shirtless in bed, still wearing those sweatpants from earlier.

(matt's pov)

my eyes widen as i see her walk into the room, "hi, uh- i just wanted to apologise for earlier." she says, i stand up out of bed to get closer to her, she shuts the door behind her. she’s only wearing a loose and long shirt which looks like a dress on her, with panties, which show every time she lifts up her arms.

"i should've knocked." she continues, i smile and shake my head.

"no i totally get it, honest mistake" i reply, "wasn't the best way to meet you so i'm sorry about that." she laughs slightly.

"its all okay," i say, "so you're not mad at me?" she asks shyly. "i would never be mad about that?" i sigh, pulling her into a hug.

theres a thick tension in the air, i don't know where it's come from but i know we are both feeling it.

she looks up at me, my arms are still loosely wrapped around her back.

she grabs my jaw before colliding our lips together, her lips are soft, i hesitate before kissing her back, my hand lacing into her hair.

i guide her back, she falls backwards onto my matress as our lips stay joined, our tongues now fighting for dominance.

her hands reach down and start tugging down my waistband. i pull away for a second, “are you sure?” i ask her, she nods frantically “please- yes.”

“arms up.” i say, she puts her arms above her head as i reach down, pulling off her loose tshirt. my eyes fall to her tits as my cheeks flush, she squirms on the matress impatiently.

i tug off her panties, discarding them somewhere across my room. she’s fully bare infront of me, her top teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

i lean over her to reach my bedside table, fiddling around in the drawer for a condom, “i’m on the pill,” she says grabbing my wrist and pulling me away

“oh shit okay!” i say, sounding a little too excited. she laughs slightly.

“you gotta be really, fucking, quiet.” i stare into her eyes, “nick is through that fucking wall and chris is the other side, if you get too loud i’ll stop mhm?”

she nods frantically “yes- yeah okay”

i line myself up with her, my hand travels down to grip her waist and i hold her hand with my free hand.

i push inside of her, instantly feeling her grip around me. i immediately worry, there’s not a single chance i’m lasting past a minute with her being this tight.

she lets out a delicate moan, holding herself back as she presses her lips together. i give her a minute to adjust before thrusting out to my tip, then pressing deeper inside of her.

with each thrust i pick up my pace as i stay concentrated on the wall, trying not to instantly cum.

she throws her head back, arching her back off my bed as every so often she lets out a shaky deep breath. i take the hand that’s on her waist and press down on her lower abdomen, seeing how far i can push her before she makes a noise.

i stop holding her hand with my other hand, and start tracing figure 8’s on her clit.

she finally breaks, letting on a desperate moan which seemed to come out louder than expected. i quicken my movements before slamming a hand over her pretty mouth. i hear a muffled ‘close’ and i continue to toy with her clit, keeping a hand plastered on her mouth.

she clenches around me, a whimper falls from my mouth as i feel her release, screaming my name.

i take my hand off her clit and place a hand on her throat, pressing lightly as she comes down from her high.

i pull out of her, finishing in my hand.

i flip down next to her, pulling her ontop of me and rubbing her back soothingly as i attempt to catch my breath. “matt..” i hear her say quietly,

“mhmm?” i reply, “can you walk me back to nicks room.” she says, sitting up on my thighs and reaching for her shirt.

“yeah, of course.” i say with a smile.

she crawls off of me to retrieve her underwear, which landed on my computer keyboard.

i sit up, pulling on my sweatpants and a soft shirt before grabbing her hand.

i creak open my bedroom door, she follows close behind me. i open the door to nicks room where he’s spread out on his bed, fast asleep. i pull down the covers and sweep her off her feet.

i lay her down on the bed, adjusting her head on the pillow before pulling up the duvet, i press my lips to her forehead before leaving the room.

————————-

(y/n’s pov)

9:38am

i wake up to the sun blaring on my face, i roll over, my legs still hurting from last night. i sit up, “nick” i tap him, he shoots up in bed.

“jesus!” i laugh, “how the fuck did you get up that fast- were you awake??”

nick erupts into laughter, “you scared me that’s all!” he says, i scoff before standing up out of bed, nick follows behind me as i open the door to his room.

i walk into the kitchen where chris and matt already are, leaning on the kitchen counter.

“good morning!” i say, matt shoots me a stupid smile “guess what.” chris says blankly, my heart drops, did he hear matt and i last night?

“what.” i instantly reply, looking over at matt who looks equally as nervous as me.

he walks over to the stovetop where the tray of ‘cookies were’ he picks them up and walks over to nick, matt and i.

“oh yeah- you dumbfucks left ‘em in the oven so i took them out.”

“what. the. FUCK is that” nick laughs, backing away from the burnt excuses of cookies.

“are they edible still?” chris genuinely asks, looking over at me for an awnser.

“chris what do you think.”

——————-

[hanmaitani]

Miscommunication

PAIRING - Miya Atsumu x Reader WC - 1.2K GENRE - angst CW - mentions of drinking/parties SYNOPSIS - Suna's plan-gone-wrong forces your hand to confess, but Atsumu's unexpected surprise stops you in your tracks.

PREV PART | MASTERLIST | NEXT PART

"Atsumu!" A voice from the entrance of the room cut you off and caught everyone's attention. You groaned and let your head fall in your hands, feeling Atsumu get up from the floor and leave you there again, unable to explain more.

I glared over at the culprit of my current anger. "Suna Rintarou. Ya can count yer fuckin' days after that stunt." You warned, earning yourself a small squeak from the boy across from you.

"It'll be 'kay, jus' go talk to 'Tsumu, explain and it'll be okay." Osamu tried to comfort, patting your shoulder and nudging you to get up.

You sighed and dragged yourself up to follow Atsumu over towards the entrance, determined to explain the situation with Osamu and confess in the same breath.

You were forming what you'd say in your head as you pushed through the crowd. Bodies bumping into you and causing the distance between you and Atsumu to greaten, slowing down your progress. You twitched in irritation.

Atsumu, it was nothing. It was back in middle school and Osamu and I were just curious, it was actually pretty immature and stupid now that I think of it… using each other for practice. Actually it was a terrible first kiss. But truly I wanna assure you it was nothing, in fact, we haven't done it since high school… even before I realized that I was so stupidly in love with you.

You figured that would be a good enough explanation, a solid basis to start the conversation where you could finally relieve the stress of carrying around your feelings for him as a secret. A secret you were sure was terribly kept but nonetheless, one that he'd yet to pick up on.

Yeah, you thought that would be enough. That thought died at the back of your throat when you saw where Atsumu had been called to.

She was pretty. Gorgeous even. Her arms wrapped around Atsumu's neck like they belonged there and her lips were pressed to his cheek like it was a habit.

You froze. You had never seen her before, but the smile that seemed to spread across Atsumu's face made you realize he was very familiar with her. He showed no complaints to her affections and you could even see his arms tighten, muscles flexing around her as he laughed.

"I'm s'glad ya made it! Thought yer s'posed t'be outta town!" Atsumu"s voice was happier than it had just been a few minutes prior when he learned that you'd kissed Osamu. Happier than you made him.

"And miss your birthday!?" You felt your stomach twist, even her voice was pretty, and her laugh. "I came back just for you 'Tsumu. Couldn't miss my boy's party."

Her boy. You were sure you were going to be sick.

It was then that she caught sight of you, frozen in your place. Her small tap on his shoulder had Atsumu turning to see you there. Clearly curious about the girl staring at the two of them. He left one arm wrapped her shoulders, keeping her pressed into his side as he faced you fully.

"Hi." I breathed.

Hi? Hi? You internally screamed at yourself for being so awkward, but what else were you supposed to say? You'd been so focused on practicing what you were going to say that you hadn't thought of anything else, the confession was still sitting on your tongue.

"A/n/n! Perfect timing!" You forced yourself to smile, to match Atsumu's energy, his happiness on his birthday. "This is Mizuki!"

You rattled your brain trying to think of where you'd heard him say the name before. If you'd heard him say the name before.

"I've been meanin' to introduce ya two!" You swallowed thickly, trying to keep your anxiety pressed down, hiding it under your skin. "Get my two girls to finally meet." He was smiling, beaming down at the girl pressed into his side and you felt yourself shrinking. His girl. He'd referred to her as his girl too.

"Oh!" The girl perked up, sunshine smile crossing her lips as she took in Atsumu's words and turned her smile towards you. "You're a/n/n!"

You tried to avoid outwardly cringing at the use of the nickname. The name only Atsumu called you. It felt wrong hearing it come out of anyone's mouth but Atsumu's. Coming out of her mouth, a stranger.

"'Tsumi has told me all about you."

Your smile seemed to drop in slow motion. ‘Tsumi… your nickname for him. The one no one else had ever called him.

"I think that nickname is so cute by the way! 'Tsumi told me all about how you call him that and it's just adorable." She giggled and you watched as Atsumu's face turned a bit red. He seemed shy, something Atsumu didn't get very often and you could feel your insides shredding.

"Enough outta ya." He laughed softly, a plea for her to cut it out. "Why don't ya go get somethin' t'drink? I'll introduce ya t'everyone else." He turned her towards the kitchen and watched until she disappeared into the crowd.

“Wow," he breathed, looking back at you, "she really is somethin' huh?" He didn't seem to notice the tenseness in your body as you took in his expressions. You'd not seen him that happy over a single person in… well, ever. "I didn't think she’d make it t'night," he laughed, "oh it's gon' be a g'night."

You smiled in response, trying to force your mouth to say something intelligible in response instead of staying the statue that you were. "She's really pretty." You were smacking yourself… was that really all you could say?

"Hey! Ya said ya wanted t'talk t'me 'bout somethin'?" He looked at you expectantly. Giving you your chance to confess like you'd planned to that night.

"Oh, s'nothin'." You mumbled chuckling softly, "it can wait, 'Tsumi." You tried to make your smile convincing but you were worried it wouldn't pass. Fortunately, he seemed too distracted to notice like he usually would, looking back in the direction where she'd gone.

"T'morrow then 'kay?" He laughed and moved to follow after the girl, leaving you still standing there, where you were when you first saw them.

"Hey, what'cha doin' here? Did'ya talk t'im?" Osamu's voice graced your ears finally, breaking the silence that had filled your ears.

"Um, kinda, I guess." You sighed and turned to find a confused look crossing Osamu's face. You were almost positive that Atsumu liked the girl that you'd just met. One he'd never talked to you about.

"Miysam…" He hummed in response as he looked at you concerned, not used to you being so quiet at a party with friends, let alone their birthday. "Has Atsumu ever told ya about Mizuki?"

Osamu followed your gaze to where his brother was, pretty girl draped on his arm, laughing diligently at whatever he was saying and giving only him her attention.

Osamu's face gave it away… he didn't know her either.

TAGLIST - OPEN

@faumpje @all-in-the-fandoms @pearl-blue-musings @chaes-tea @qichun

@winniethepooh-lover

[itjazzbicch]

All of You

Pairing: Tomas "Smoke" Vrbada x Fem Reader 

Summary: Since the reader and Tomas are very close and clearly feel a certain way about one another, the reader is easily angered by the way Bi Han treats Tomas, showing how she cares and giving each other all of themselves to offer...

Warnings:  SMUT! (18+ ONLY! MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!) Bi Han being an asshole (LOL) slight swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it!) bath sex, praise, body worship

Word Count: 1.4k 

"My goodness," Tomas smiled in a shoulder-to-shoulder tie-up with me as we were sparring, "You have been improving greatly."

"Thank you," I smirked, reminding him, "But don't get distracted now."

Sweeping him off his feet, I was ready to show him something new I learned about my power, but we both looked as we heard Bi Han's voice.

"Grandmaster," Quickly fixing my stance, I bowed to him; Tomas jumped to his feet to greet him:

"Brother."

The look in Bi Han's eyes alone signaled me to leave, which I did, but as I went, turning a corner, what I heard made me stop.

"What did I tell you about meddling with that girl, Tomas?"

"She is powerful, Bi Han," Tomas explained, praising me, "She will be able to accomplish great things in the Lin Kuei with more training."

Tomas's praises put happiness in my heart, but Bi Han's filled it with solid anger:

"Even if that's true, she can do so alone. We have duties."

"I'm only trying to help her, brother- "Tomas continued to show how he felt for me, only to be put down:

"I don't care! What father saw in you? I have no idea. I've never seen you as a brother, so remember your place."

The silence I heard after left me shaking, wanting to confront Bi Han myself, but I waited too long as Bi Han spat:

"There's a situation that requires our assistance. We're leaving. Now."

Looking around the corner, Tomas's head was hung low, following Bi Han and leaving. Bi Han wasn't acting like the grandmaster I thought him to be, and after hearing what he told Tomas, my blood was boiling. I needed to release it somehow.

So, I continued training, releasing the anger through my fists into a punching bag. It was already nightfall by the time I felt it was time to stop. Heading to my room and unraveling the tape that protected my hands, I heard by the door:

"You just now finished training for the day?"

"A few minutes ago, yes," I told Tomas, wiping away the sweat on my brows, hitched breath proving my words true to him.

"Resting is vital to gaining strength too, you know?" He only showed that he cared, but Bi Han's words circled their way back into my mind, reminding me why I had been in the dojo for so long; he realized the emotional shift in my eyes, "Is something bothering you."

"I understand that Bi Han is the oldest and that he's grandmaster," I whispered, looking deep into his eyes as I asked, "But what he said to you earlier? You deal with that?"

His head hung low again with a deep sigh, mumbling, "It's hard, but he's- "

"Whether it's because he's older or grandmaster, that's still no excuse," My intense gaze made his eye fix on me, the brief silence between us making me apologize, "It's none of my business. I'm sorry that I brought it up."

"It's okay," He assured, taking my hand softly, "I appreciate your concern."

"You're such a kind soul, Tomas," Squeezing his hand, I wanted to show my pure intentions, explaining how I felt, "I couldn't help but feel anger when I heard him talking to you that way."

"I'm the kind soul?" He smirked, truly appreciative, making me giggle, "He can yell at me all he wants for 'meddling' with you."

"That did interrupt our sparring. I almost had you," I laughed with him, butterflies forming deep in my stomach as he pulled me closer, smiling:

"You do have me, Y/N."

I was lost in his gorgeous eyes, bliss nearly levitating me as our lips met; at first, a soft press poured in passion and pleasure, making us crave more as our lips began to dance.

Holding his face and quickly becoming impatient, a singular thought in mind tempted me into leading him into my room, lips still dancing, having to stop to laugh and hide my face as he wiped some sweat away from his hair:

"I'm so sorry. Gosh, that's embarrassing."

"It's not embarrassing," He laughed along, sitting me down on the bed and answering my curiosity, "You've been working so hard today. Should I run you a bath?"

"Join me too?" It was apparent how he felt, so I decided to take a leap; my cheeks filled with heat when he took my hand, leading me to the bathroom.

We didn't need words, only smiles as our lips magnetized back together, leaning to fix the bathtub and run hot water.

Once clothes started to disappear, I was so fixed on his physique that I was almost in another world, not realizing he was climbing in and relaxing back into the tub:

"Not going to leave me all alone, are you?"

"No, of course not," I stuttered out of my puzzled state, tossing the rest of my clothes, dipping a toe into the water, and showing my all to him.

"Gosh, you are so beautiful," He whispered, admiring me from head to toe, the water rising as I sank to join him.

"And you're a piece of art," I cooed, humming at the hot water, hands finally getting to feel his body like I fantasized so many times, sitting across his lap as he began to do the same, lips discovering my neck and chest, whispering:

"I can't wait to worship all of you."

His lips grazing down my breasts had soft moans forming, his hand running through his hair with his mouth closing around my nipple, sucking softly, and the pleasure made me naturally grind against him, feeling his stiff cock.

He felt so impressive that I had to touch, slowly stroking my hand up and down, subconsciously going faster as I loved what I was feeling, eyes fixing on him as his slight groan shook me.

"Want to go all the way?" Seeking confirmation, I fixed my legs, wrapping my arms around his head and giving him that confirmation:

"Please."

One of his hands rested on my ass, the other dipping between us, lining his cock with my entrance, then easing me down carefully, moaning his name into his ear.

"I'll be gentle," He cooed, creating tiny ripples of waves as he thrusted his hips, soft and slow, "We can take our time."

"No one makes me feel as good as you do," I cooed back, lost in a realm of pleasure, slowly rolling my hips to meet his, continuing to moan at how much deeper his cock inched into my walls, but still smiling into his ear, "Have I ever told you that?"

"That's the first time," He smiled, holding my hips to his, slow but powerful in his thrusts, as deep as possible, earning every ounce of emotion and bliss I expressed with noise and body language, "Have I ever told you that you do the same to me?"

Slouching chest deep into the water, the shift let his cock slide in more profoundly, hitting sensitive points that brought me new feelings, my nerves jolting, moans growing to a higher pitch so much that I buried my face into the burrow of his shoulder, arms wrapped around his head tighter.

"You feel so good inside," Hugging and squeezing me, neither of us could fight our feelings, calm water turning into waves with his hips moving faster, moaning softly at my spasming walls, "Gosh, it's so good."

"Mhm!" I whined with closed lips, inching closer to my orgasm, afraid of how loud I was becoming, but he took all my worries away, holding my chin:

"Don't fight your feelings, sweetheart. It's only nature."

"I know," I breathed in deep, whining, "I just don't want to get us in trouble if I'm too loud."

"I'm loving my woman," Staring deep into my eyes, it was like all the pleasure grew more potent, serious, and working to get me off the edge, "I'll gladly deal with the lecture."

"Damn!" Setting my moans free, his tip brushing past my sweet spot and instantly making me crumble, shaking in his hands as he took two handfuls of my ass, squeezing and groaning at how my orgasm engulfed both of us, squeezing the hell out of him, "Tomas-"

Still having some left in him, we settled back into the water, hips rocking leisurely downward, the brightest smile that I'd seen from him all over his face as I looked up at him:

"I'm never going to be able to keep my hands off you now."

"I'm not complaining," I smiled back, kissing his chest and against his cheek, "You can have all of me whenever you want." 

2023 © itjazzbicch — do not repost or translate my work. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always welcome

[theweirdestroller]

Crime Time!!!

Hi! It's been forever since I've written something, and for that I am sorry. I've been in a bit of a creative rut lately. But fear not! I am writing again!

Anyyyyyway, this AU of an AU is brought to you by the great mind of @cubbihue! Hope y'all enjoy!

--

Everything hurt. Nothing felt right anymore. Peri felt heavier, more solid than he ever remembered being. His wings were gone, so was his crown. It burned, the loss of parts of him he thought would always be there. He didn’t have anyone anymore. His parents, his godkid, his brother, he was all alone.

It took a while for Peri to come to his senses. He wasn’t quite sure where he was, but the ground was rather filthy, and the buildings quite tall, so it was safe to assume he was in a large city. Maybe even Dimmadelphia if fate had been so kind.

Peri wobbled as he slowly stood up, his hands bracing against the dirty brick wall of the building next to him. He glanced around the alley that he had been unceremoniously dumped into. It was just an alley. And one Peri wanted to get out of as soon as possible. If there was even a chance of finding Dev and Hazel again, Peri was gonna take it.

As the former fairy goes to take a step, the light in the alley is suddenly cut off by the shadow of a person; menacingly standing in the alley entrance.

“Hand over everything you’ve got,” A voice growled, and Peri, who had absolutely nothing; nothing, but perhaps a hug, shivered. Did he want to lose a hug? No. No he did not.

Peri promptly burst into rambling tears, about how he didn’t have anything except one hug, but he didn’t want to lose it and could this man pleaselethimgo-

“Woah, woah, hey- I, uh, I’m not gonna hurt you,” The person slowly approached Peri, now a pathetic pile on the ground. “Are you- Are you okay?”

Peri shook his head. He was very much not okay and had just lost everything he’s ever known. He didn’t know where he was and he didn’t even have anything to give this random human-

“Um. You’re not looking too good. I can call you an uber or something,”

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” The would-be mugger froze. He mumbled under breath for a minute before setting a hand on Peri’s shoulder.

“I can get you something to eat, or drink? Help you look for a hotel or something?” Peri sniffled miserably.

“I don’t have any money,” There was a moment of silence in the alley as the mugger sighed and dragged a hand down his face.

“That’s fine. I’ll get you some food, you can call whoever you need to call, and I’ll only leave once you’re all settled. Sound good?” Peri nodded and let himself be helped out of the alley by this complete stranger.

The two wandered into a nearby cafe. It was somewhat empty, with no line and only a few of people sitting at different tables

“How do you like your coffee?” The mugger asked, staring at the menu. Peri hummed as he considered.

“I like it with more cream and sugar than anything else,” The mugger nodded and approached the counter, ordering for the both of them. He returned to Peri with a cinnamon roll and handed the pastry to him.

The pair found a table and sat, waiting for their drinks. Peri had yet to take a bite of his roll by the time their coffee was ready.

The mugger, Peri should really get his name, retrieved the drinks. It was at this time Peri finally took a bite of his cinnamon roll.

As a fairy, Peri was completely unfamiliar with human confections. But this? This was a marvelous treat that rivaled fairy food in every way! He scarfed down the roll until it was nothing more than a collection of crumbs, barley even paying mind to his coffee.

It was a laugh at the other end of the table that snapped Peri out of... Whatever had just happened.

“Take it you were pretty hungry then?” Peri’s face flushed.

“Uh... Yeah. It was a good pastry,” Peri took a sip of his coffee, refusing to look at the mugger sitting across the table from him.

The rest of their time in the cafe was spent in relative silence, up until the coffee was gone.

“So, how exactly did you get stranded here?” And- How exactly was Peri supposed to answer that? Because every part of that story would make him sound like a lunatic.

“I’m not quite sure. It was a whole lot of small things, and then I was here,” Which, was probably about as close to the truth as Peri could get. The mugger sighed.

“If you’re okay with it, you could stay with me until you get back on your feet,” Huh. Maybe this human wasn’t so bad.

“That sounds good,”

And that is what led Peri and his would-have-been mugger, who he should still get the name of, to a run down apartment complex a couple blocks away from the cafe. Peri did not like the walk. These legs were not meant for all this activity. He spent the majority of the trip being helped by his new friend.

After the door was unlocked, the human opened it with a flourish. The apartment did not look any better inside than it did out. But Peri was in absolutely no place to complain, given that it was either here, or the streets.

“It’s not much,” The mugger said as he dropped his keys in a tray and slid off a backpack Peri had only just now noticed. “But it’s home,”

Peri missed home...

[tinyarmedtrex]

For the prompts, can you do 86? "I guess dying with you isn't the worst way to go."

For you? Anything. Enjoy some Narlie as spies!

TW for bullets and Nick being shot

Another round of explosions went off behind them, making both Nick and Charlie tense. "Fuck, that's loud." Nick muttered as he turned around, firing off some bullets in the hopes that it would convince their assailants to back off for a minute.

"We need to move. They're going to be here soon."

"On three?"

Charlie nodded and then counted down. On three both booked it, running down the hall and into another room. Charlie slammed the door behind them and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw how thick it was. Still, he shoved a few pieces of furniture in front of it, trying to buy them some time to think.

"Things may be finally looking up for us." He said once he was relatively sure about his blockade. They could breathe, regroup and come up with a plan.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." 

He whirled to look at Nick, stifling a gasp as he saw the other man. Nick had been shot. Blood was running down his chest and pooling under him.

"Nick!" Charlie ran to him, easing him down to the ground. Then he ripped open Nick's tux and saw that a bullet was lodged in his shoulder. "Shit. shit."

"That bad huh?" Nick asked, his voice already sounding weaker. 

"No." He lied. He was about to rub his face when he realized his hands were covered in blood. Nick's blood. He blinked away tears.

How had everything gone so badly? It was supposed to be an easy mission. Infiltrate the party, find the diamonds, leave without anyone noticing. But they'd been made, someone must have tipped off the Green's. Charlie had his money on Ben and was planning to have some choice words with the man when they made it out.

If they made it out.

With that thought he looked back down at Nick. "I need to stop the blood." He said, his training kicking in. He stood and looked around the room, taking stock of possible supplies and options for escape. They were in some sort of office with large windows that looked out over the city. The rest of the room was a disgusting display of wealth. Stuffed animal heads and a leather chair that probably cost more than his rent. He scoffed. Only Harry would have three glass liquor globes. Charlie yanked one open and grabbed two bottles, one to clean the wound and the other to drink.

"This will sting." He told Nick as he pulled the cork out with his teeth.

Nick nodded. Fuck was he always this pale? Charlie shook his head. He couldn't do this now. He needed to concentrate. "Stay with me Nick, tell me about your dog."

"You've heard all the stories about her." He mumbled.

"Then tell me about your brother. If you're pissed you'll stay awake."

Nick chuckled. It led to a coughing fit. Charlie held him through it. At least he didn't cough up blood. "Don't make me laugh Char. My frail body can't handle it."

"Nothing about you is frail." It was true, Nick was as solid as they came. It was impossible not to notice. "I'm the frail one, remember."

"Hardly." Nick's hand found Charlie's thigh, patting it. "I've seen you run. You could lap me."

"Stay alive and I'll prove it."

He poured the amber liquid on Nick's wound, wincing as Nick cried out in pain. "It's okay, now I can wrap it." He tugged off his jacket then ripped off the sleeve.

Nick's eyes tracked his movement. "Any chance you want to take your shirt off too? Consider it a dying man's wish."

"Shut up, you aren't dying." He wrapped it and tied it tight, praying it would be enough. "There, see? Good as new."

Nick's weak laugh told Charlie that he saw through his lie. Nick nodded and eased himself back onto the floor, looking up at Charlie. "Though I guess dying with you isn't the worst way to go." 

"Nick-" Charlie stared down at him. For months they'd been dancing around this, both knowing that they couldn't acknowledge their growing feelings. Relationships between agents weren't allowed. It made things too messy. But that didn't stop Charlie from slow dancing with Nick while they were undercover, or from Nick allowing his fingers to graze Charlie's neck whenever they were alone.

"You need to escape." Nick said before Charlie could formulate a proper response. "Leave me the guns. I'll watch your back as you escape. Take out some of those assholes before I go."

He gripped Nick's hand. "I'm not leaving without you."

"Just one thing," Nick continued as if he hadn't spoken. "Kiss me before you go. I need to know what it's like to kiss you before I die. It might not be my best guess but hopefully you'll give me some leeway here."

"No."

Nick's eyes widened. "No? That's damned rude."

Charlie stood, pulling Nick up with him. "If you won't die without kissing me then I'm not kissing you now. You're going to live, Nelson. And once your better you can do loads more than just kiss me."

"Char-" 

Charlie turned them towards the windows, explaining as they walked. "We've only three floors up. We can survive that drop. Then we hot wire a car and get to a safe house. There's one only a few miles away."

Nick blinked. "You want to jump out the window? That's your brilliant plan? I thought you were the smart one."

He nodded as confidently as he could. "I'm not saying it's my best plan but it's all we've got." He threaded their fingers together. "You in?"

Nick smirked at him and Charlie saw some fight come back. "I believe I heard you say something about once I recovered? Something about more than just a kiss?"

Even now, covered in bloody and wobbly on his feet, Nick Nelson was one of the sexiest men he'd ever seen. Charlie nodded, his thumb brushing Nick's knuckles. "So much more."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

"On three we go." Nick nodded. "One, two-"

[peaches2217]

It’s more Expectant Mareach headcanons. I’m. I’m so sorry.

(And because I feel like it never gets enough attention, it's all Very Early Lead-In stuff! C'mon, that's RIPE with fluff potential.)

✨ At the start, Peach is incredibly conflicted towards the thought of having children; she’s got so many doubts and concerns because who wouldn't with an upbringing and history of political conflict as unconventional as hers? And she spends a great deal of time kicking herself over her uncertainty, because Mario’s wanted kids pretty much his entire life. She wants to give him that, and frankly she does want to take this next step with him, and she wants so badly to just dive right in and trust that everything will work out, but she doesn’t know that, and it scares her.

✨ The thing is, no matter how badly he wants to have a kid or ten, Mario’s not about to pressure Peach into it. He loves her so much more than he loves even the idea of fatherhood. If she decides it's not something she wants or feels comfortable with? So be it! He’ll just get a side career as a babysitter or something.

✨ Sometimes Peach will bring up one of her concerns out of the blue, in the middle of the day or late at night in bed, and she and Mario spend hours talking over every possible angle for every topic she presents. She apologizes for her conflicted mind and for taking so long, but he promises he's happy to talk it through and urges her to take her time coming to a conclusion; he’d sooner she give him a definitive no than an uncertain yes.

✨ After many such conversations, counsel with friends to work through all of her thoughts, and entirely too many dreams about Mario snuggling and doting on little brunette and blonde babies that leave her heart aching long after she wakes up, Peach gives him her answer while they’re sharing a private picnic: she wants to raise a family with him, because now she can confidently say that their children will be safe and surrounded with love.

✨ Mario spends a few minutes prodding, making absolutely sure this is her own decision, she’s not just saying this for him, she 100% without a shadow of a doubt wants a baby, a family… and then he just tackles her in kisses. He would have loved and supported her no matter what she told him, but this? Hearing her laugh and repeat his many words of love back to him in the most elated tone while they roll in the grass and realizing she doesn't just want a family, she wants a family with him, and she wants it as badly as he does? It's a dream come true.

✨ Try for Baby #1 occurs about six minutes later.

✨ When Peach starts feeling under the weather round about two months later, and then wakes up at four in the morning violently ill, the possibility that they're officially parents-to-be doesn't occur to them for a few reasons: 1.) There's a Peach/Luigi is Hurt and/or Sick switch in Mario's brain that, when activated, shuts down all internal processing other than protect, comfort, secure, so babies are the last thing on his mind; 2.) Peach is too miserable to think about much other than, well, how miserable she is, and all she can suspect is that she's come down with a bug of some sort; and 3.) they figured it would take longer. Peach has literally only gotten her period once from the day they started trying to now... which, in hindsight, probably should have been a sign.

✨ Mario fills in for her so she can rest and be seen by the castle doctor, so he's not present when Peach gets the news. But rather than insist Toadette pull him out of whatever royal task he's been saddled with today so she can tell him, she instead asks her to fetch Toadsworth.

✨ I've written like two solid pages' worth of that interaction, so to summarize: Toadsworth's an emotional wreck for the next few days. All good emotions! Mostly good emotions. He's both happy and worried, okay? That's his little girl!

✨ She tells Mario that night while they have tea on the balcony. He almost shatters her favorite teapot, because he picks her up and spins her around as soon as it sinks in, laughing in joy and disbelief, and her foot just narrowly misses it. Neither of them notice.

✨ What a coincidence! Luigi arrives back in the Mushroom Kingdom for a visit the next day because he heard Peach wasn't feeling good and wanted to offer support. Mario takes him out to lunch in town, where every Toad within a quarter-mile radius is suddenly subjected to the sight and sounds of their king and his brother shouting at each other in their native tongue, shaking each other by the shoulders, embracing and whooping and jumping up and down and maybe even crying? It's one heck of a scene, but they both seem happy, so everyone assumes it's one of those weird twin moments and leaves them be.

✨ In the interest of keeping the media uninvolved and stress levels as low as possible for as long as possible, it's decided that Peach's pregnancy won't be announced until it starts becoming visibly obvious. Not that there aren't suspicions, of course. A palace worker claims to have seen the king and queen napping together in the shadows of the private garden, their hands conjoined and resting on her stomach. But hey, we all know how unreliable court gossip is, right?

[tooxmanyxships]

Tell me what you were dreaming about. ❜- dando

Daydreaming is dreaming too 😌

"Helloooo-o-o-o..." Lando waved his hand in front of Daniel's face for what felt like the millionth time. "Earth to Danny Ric. You good mate?"

Daniel's eyes finally seemed to regain their focus and he razor quickly grabbed Lando's wrist, stopping the annoying waving in front of his eyes.

He did still blink as he looked at Lando, "What?"

"I've been trying to get your attention for an hour now."

Daniel rolled his eyes, "Mate. You would have called the medics if I had been zoned out for anything more than a few minutes."

The sheepish smile on Lando's face proves he's not wrong

"Okay, maybe it was just a few minutes."

Daniel sighs, "And you disturbed me from my daydream for what?"

He feels Lando's wrist twitch and suddenly realizes he's still holding it. He quickly let's go, but his mistake is already made. He can tell by the grin on Lando's face.

"You were daydreaming?!“

Oh god.

"Shut up."

"No, no, no." Okay, Lando sounded way too eager now. The look on his face was too. "Tell me what you were dreaming about."

"No."

"Come on, Dan!"

"If I tell you, it might not happen for real."

Lando snorted, "It's a dream, not a wish."

Daniel flicks his nose, grinning as Lando scowls at him and grabs at his nose way too over the top and gets up to move away, calling out over his shoulder;

"Maybe it's both."

~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~

It happened. It actually happened.

After his uncountable times on the podium but never in the middle, always on the side, the time was finally there.

He's actually too stunned to pop the champagne, so he just stands there while Daniel and Max are spraying each other.

But then Daniel turns to him and Lando knows he's in trouble when he sees that wicked grin.

Before he can make himself move, Daniel all but dumps the rest of his bottle of champagne all over him as he's now climbed up to number one as well.

"Top step, baby!" Daniel says just loud enough for him to hear and Lando feels all warm inside.

He doesn't know if it's because of the endearment, or if it's because Daniel is repeating his exact same words as in that game they did when they were teammates where they had to guess the drivers baby pictures.

Anyway, it makes him feel giddy. Makes him feel happy.

He can't help but hug him. For the whole world to see.

Max jumps on up too and apparently he's just as giddy because he gets in on the hug and they all jump up and down a bit until all three of them almost fall off the top step of the podium.

It's all way too hectic to be a normal podium celebration, but Lando thinks it's the best one they ever had. It's his first win anyway!

After the podium, everything is just a blur to be honest.

He's getting jostled from here to there. Gets pulled into hugs. Receives hand claps and high fives. He gets questions fired at him and he honestly doesn't even know if any of his answers make any sense at all.

He feels drunk although he hasn't even had one sip of champagne or any other alcohol.

He has a celebration with the team but all he can remember is laughing and having fun. Doesn't remember a single thing that's actually being said and that might cause issues later but for now he can't be bothered to care.

Suddenly there's an arm around his waist and he looks down at a tattooed hand on his stomach.

"You're not supposed to be here," he manages to get out. "Dan. Where are you taking me?"

He's being pulled away from his team and the celebrations and no one is trying to stop it from happening.

Even his feeble shouts of "help, I'm being kidnapped!" get only received with ignorance or laughter.

He's not really complaining anyway. He loves being dragged away by this man, no matter the destination he has in store.

Seems like the destination wasn't far because suddenly he feels his back being pushed against a solid wall and someone's crowding him in.

All he can hear is two sets of heavy breathing chests.

"Dan...."

"Now you know."

And-----what?

Lando blinks his eyes open. When did he even close them?

"Now I know what?"

The smile on Daniel's face is so soft. Lando wants to reach out to poke his dimples.

"The daydream. That's what it was."

Lando blinks once more. That daydream was months ago. He barely even remembers it.

"You were daydreaming about me winning a GP?"

God. This sounds so silly.

"Yes. And now you see I kept it a secret for a reason."

Lando can't help it. He just bursts out laughing.

"I don't know if I should find that creepy or sweet."

Daniel shrugs, grinning. "Maybe both."

Lando chuckles, hands going up to the back of Daniel's neck, playing with his curls.

"You're so stupid."

"Yep," Daniel pops the p, earning an eye roll from the Brit. "But I'm your stupid."

Your stupid.

Lando really likes the sound of that.

"So.... What else did you daydream about then? I hope you gave the GP winner a gift for his win."

Daniel smirks then and Lando feels his own body shiver in response.

"I'll show you exactly how my daydream went. Maybe even more."

More.

Lando definitely, definitely wants more.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, this is my post about John Oliver’s appearance on Russell Howard’s podcast that’s going to get way more detailed about the Chocolate Milk Gang than anyone wants (I can already picture the @lastweeksshirttonight reply to this to say they care, so I should amend that to say there is one person who wants that, but they have already listened to the episode and don't really need to be told what's in it, leaving this post still of interest to no people). So here is a cut.

It's been just a little bit over a year now since the couple of months I spent doing constant posts to update everyone on my progress through the rabbit hole of understanding the meaning of "Chocolate Milk Gang". A journey that started with an effort to just explain the name, but grew much bigger than that. Consider this post a continuation of those ones.

Okay. Okay. In order to find all the things I wanted to reference for this post, I decided to make one folder on my hard drive called Chocolate Milk Gang, where I collect all the video, audio, and PDF files that reference or relate to it, and I've got to admit I had a moment of looking at the whole folder and saying, "This is all starting to feel a bit Beautiful Mind." But anyway, it is convenient to have it all in one place.

Anyway. Here are the couple of clips I cut out of that podcast for that folder:

There's a lot to unpack here, comedian gossip-wise. Football stories that I'm always happy to hear again. Between Kitson's radio shows, Russell Howard/Jon Richardson's radio show, and The Bugle, I've heard enough different stories to suggest that apparently Al Pitcher's wedding was a hell of a time.

There's also some stuff in that Edinburgh clip that isn't specifically relevant the the CMG, but is relevant to some other stuff I've been posting about in the last few months. Stuff about the difference between British and American comedy, and how I'm pretty sure those differences are largely shaped by the Edinburgh Festival. Specifically by the fact that anyone can go to the Edinburgh Festival, making it very different from something like Just For Laughs that we have here, which is invite or audition only. And I think this is what makes British comedy much more similar to Australia/NZ comedy than it is to North American comedy, because they have MICF. Though I don't actually know what I'm talking about.

John Oliver sums it up well here:

You can kind of finish your ‘bulletproof’ – to the extent that that was true, which it wasn’t – but as close to a solid set of comedy that you can produce. At that point, you’re finished, really, right? So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep doing that? There’s probably many cautionary tales that will show you that’s not the way to human happiness. So then you start to break it. And that was where Edinburgh, for me, was so massively important, that you throw away that safety blanket, and then the next year you come back with a brand new hour. You spent a number of years making that twenty minutes, now you have to spend eleven months making an hour.

I wish he'd expanded a bit on the "not the way to human happiness" part, because that interests me. Going to comedy around here, I've seen how different it is from what I hear from British stuff, and obviously there are lots of reasons for that, mainly that I'm comparing low-level stuff that's local to me against great comedians from Britain. I know that Britain also has low-level club comedians, I just don't hear much from them all the way over here.

I have heard a little bit of fairly low-level comedy in Britain, and it's still notably different from what I hear here. Also, some of the comedians I hear around here have been doing it a long time (including my brother, who's been doing it 13 years, doing regular pro spots for over ten, makes enough money off comedy each year so he could probably almost live off his comedy income alone if he didn't mind being extremely poor), have done quite well. I've tried to see what their ambitions are, what the path is that they're trying to get on to the next thing. And there just doesn't really seem to be one. There are occasional spots on CBC that people would like, but those are so rare, so few compared to the number of panel show spots that comedians can try for in Britain, if they want to go that way. And obviously, in Britain, the new comedians are all trying to put together something good enough to take to Edinburgh, even if at first it's just the twenty-minute set that John Oliver was talking about in that clip for a mixed bill thing. No one here is doing that. They're pretty much doing the exact thing that John Oliver described as "not the way to human happiness", perfecting their 20-minute set so they can impress increasingly important club promoters for years and years and years.

It seems to me like a bad idea to dedicate your whole life to the thing that John Oliver (probably accurately) described as "not the way to human happiness", but I'm interested in how many other options there are. You can try for TV and radio spots, I guess, but there aren't many of those here. Some comedians around here try to audition for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and Just For Laughs, but not many get in because there aren't that many spots available. A couple of people around here have started podcasts, but contrary to what the front page of Chortle each week might suggest, surely not everyone in the entire world can start a podcast. You could sell your soul to social media, obviously - that's always an option no matter what your field is. But if you want to do comedy and don't want that, what else are you supposed to do? I don't ask that question facetiously, I would genuinely like to know and I wish John Oliver had expanded on his point in that podcast to answer it. Which I guess he did, and the answer was to go to Edinburgh until you get good enough/enough attention to do your own tours. Or, in his case, you have Ricky Gervais happen to mention your name to Jon Stewart when The Daily Show is looking for a British correspondent. Also you start a podcast.

Anyway. That's the part where John Oliver explained some interesting stuff about the intersections between the comedy industry and the comedy craft, but that's not what we're here for, is it? We're here for some comedian gossip! And this podcast episode provided on that front.

Okay. To explain the significance of one part of that clip, I have to go back a bit. To summer 2022, when I spent ages looking things up to try to find the explanation for the name “Chocolate Milk Gang”. I’d found that it had to do with them being sober when all the other comedians were drunk, to them being considered vaguely nerdy compared to other comedians who were more shouty or smooth or alcoholics. So I got the gist, but this wasn’t enough to fully make sense. I kept coming back to asking: But why chocolate milk, though? Do they drink the chocolate milk? Do they talk about chocolate milk on stage? Do they regularly sacrifice cows in the middle of the night? Or was that just that one time?

The clearest explanation I'd found came from a 2007 article that said:

Part of a new breed of stand-up dubbed the Chocolate Milk Gang for rejecting a hard-living ethos, they include the likes of Daniel Kitson, Demetri Martin, John Oliver, David O’Doherty, Josie Long and Alun Cochrane, and can be characterised by their romantic sensibility, intelligence, geekiness, love of indie music and passive-aggressive, alpha male competitiveness.

But that doesn't explain the name. Sure, chocolate milk is a sort of nerdy drink, but there had to be a reason why that specific drink got used in their nickname. In the early 00s, I was hanging out with my high school friends, and we were nerds who didn't drink (not until I was of age) and liked to imagine ourselves as romantic and intelligent, but we never named ourselves after chocolate milk, because that is not a thing that just automatically happens to everyone who’s not an alcoholic.

So I kept searching. There were just barely enough references to the term on the internet for me to be pretty sure it was really used, but few enough references for me to occasionally wonder if I'd made it all up. There are really very, very few direct references to the actual name “Chocolate Milk Gang” out there.

They are so rare that I once listened to an entire Comedian’s Comedian podcast episode featuring the worst person in the entire world, just because I’d read that he mentions the words “Chocolate Milk Gang” in it, which turned out to not even be true. Actually, in the ComCom podcast, all he did was talk a bunch of shit about David O'Doherty. However, on a different podcast months later, he talked to a different guy about how DO’D had (shockingly) disliked the comments he'd made on the ComCom podcast, and it’s there that he mentions that DO'D was in a Chocolate Milk Gang. And I listened to both episodes. I listened to two hours of the worst person in the world talking, just so I could hear someone say the words “Chocolate Milk Gang”, because instances of that name being dropped were so rare. And he didn’t even actually say “Chocolate Milk Gang” – he got the name wrong and called them the “Chocolate Milk Brigade”. And listening to those two hours pissed me off so much that I temporarily lost respect for Stuart Goldsmith, a guy I very much like, just because he was able to be in a room with that guy and not punch him in the fucking face.

I hate to focus on the worst person in the world, but in the interests of laying all the Chocolate Milk Gang references out in one place, here's a compilation I made of that guy talking shit on two podcasts, and the Chocolate Milk Brigade reference is about 15:30 into it:

I get into the McSavage stuff because me listening to all that bullshit (and taking the time to put it into a compilation) really shows how far I was willing to go to find direct references to the Chocolate Milk Gang. They were not easy to find. I take it for granted now that I've figured it out, but it took ages.

I did, however, find a number of things that described the phenomenon, without using the specific name. Notably, this clip from the Stewart Lee TV show, Alternative Comedy Experience:

Or this clip from Russell Howard and Jon Richardson's BBC 6 Music radio show, recorded live from the Edinburgh Festival in 2007, with Richard Herring as a guest, looking back at Edinburgh 2006:

Interesting that both Lee and Herring identify them specifically as being strange and different for not spending the entire month of August drunk. That probably says more about Lee and Herring than about anything else.

So they go by many names, apparently. The Chocolate Milk Brigade, in the words of David McSavage. The Hanging Around Gang, in the words of Stewart Lee. The annoyingly sober nerds of the circuit, according to Richard Herring. The Guys with the Bags, in the words of Andrew Maxwell. An International Crime Syndicate that Sometimes Organizes Soccer Matches, in the words of John Oliver (okay, he was talking about FIFA when he said those words, but I think they also apply to the CMG).

That Stewart Lee clip came so close to using their actual name, but they still didn't quite say it. The rare instances of the actual name being referenced include that bullshit McSavage saga, that extremely weird Jay Richardson article that I quoted above (honestly the paragraph I quoted barely scratched the surface of how weird that article is, it's worth reading the whole thing), and a few scattered old articles that all seem to be quoting each other. The term "Chocolate Milk Gang" is mentioned on Russell Howard and John Oliver's Wikipedia pages, but not the Wikipedia pages of any of their less internationally famous core members (David O'Doherty, Andy Zaltzman, Daniel Kitson, Alun Cochrane), which is odd as you'd think it would be more likely to come up on pages for people for whom the CMG stuff was a larger proportion of their total career success.

But the main reference to it, of course, was what I called the Holy Grail Audio Clip, because it took me so much effort to find it, a few weeks of scouring the internet. It's the only clip I've found that really clearly lays out an explanation of what the Chocolate Milk Gang was, while using the actual name. It's from David O'Doherty's episode of the Comedian's Comedian podcast, which really should have been the first thing I checked, looking back (I consider it very lucky that David O'Doherty went on the ComCom podcast before the worst person in the world did, because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten his brilliant episode at all):

God, re-listening to that is reminding me of how exciting it was to find it for the first time. Actually, to illustrate how exciting it was, I still need to get a cat and name it Stuart Goldsmith. Early in the episode, DO'D talked a bit about his early Edinburgh days, and I paused the recording to make a post on Tumblr about that discussion, and how close they came to discussing the Chocolate Milk Gang, and how much I wanted my answer. In that post, I said something like: "Stuart Goldsmith, if you can get an explanation out of David O'Doherty for the term 'Chocolate Milk Gang', I will name my first cat after you." As a joke about how I do not want kids but felt that this was important enough to offer something on the same level as letting him name my firstborn. A bit later in the same episode, when Goldsmith delivered on that, I made a follow-up post to 1) share the above clip and declare that the Holy Grail had been found, and 2) admit that I do need to name a cat after Stuart Goldsmith now.

I've just dug up the post that I made after I first heard that clip, and in it, I transcribe what DO'D said. I shall copy/paste:

David O’Doherty: ’02 was the year where I came [to Edinburgh] with a show, I’d been a bit sad and tried to write a show… and I met just a bunch of people. I met Kitson, I met Conchords, I met Taika Waititi, who’s a movie director now, I met Zaltzman, I met John Oliver, I met Josie Long – I’d met her before but, we were all just trying to figure out a kind of a thing that we wanted to do. And it didn’t quite fit with what was successful around then, because none of us were… I guess you could categorize it as quite low-status individuals. As in, we didn’t walk out with smoke machines, and if we did shout from off stage it was something ironic, about, like, “Get ready to try and stay awake for an hour, because this room is bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen!” You know, and that was… whereas before, that was the start of shiny floor comedy that we see on TV now. So it was like people in tailored suits and bowing, and getting the adulation – that was just never a thing I wanted to do. My father’s a jazz musician, and jazz is like the opposite of that.” Stuart Goldsmith: In those comedians that we’ve named, do you see a sort of reflection of your styles in each other’s work? Because there are sort of similarities, like a common trope of that kind of gang is to treat something gentle and meandering and whimsical as if it’s, you know, like a rap battle or something. To kind of pretend like you’re Notorious B.I.G., talking about a unicorn. David O’Doherty: Oh, that. Yeah, I mean, that’s… that’s pretty low, what you’ve just said. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughter] Well it’s something that’s copied a lot now, and I think it originated with Kitson and with you doing Late ‘n Live. That whole thing of going, “strap in, buckle up.” But now, every idiot in tight jeans is going, “Strap in,” but without a sense of why. David O’Doherty: Right, yeah. Yeah, I guess we were… yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, I’ve always felt that I’m trying to say something reasonably profound. I’ve never done a show that was just a load of jokes, and was just trying to fill the time with talking about, you know, fairy lights and bunting, which was sort of the perception, I think, people who never came to the shows, or some people who reviewed it, would have had around the time. Of like, “Where is he from? I don’t know, but I’d like to visit it.” You know, I’ve always tried to talk about the things that were important. It’s just that those things manifested themselves as the tale of a suicidal lobster, which was the first show here, or whatever it was then. So, you know, none of that was very tough. I remember once, we were referred to as… Me: Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, for the love of God, tell me what you were referred to as. David O’Doherty: …because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Which isn’t something you see… Stuart Goldsmith: By who? David O’Doherty: I think Glenn Wool, or something like that. Stuart Goldsmith: Okay, for people who don’t know Glenn Wool, he very much typifies the… David O’Doherty: Well, he was certainly then, he was like a party, a mega-party dude then. I remember Andrew Maxwell… Stuart Goldsmith: [laughing] Sorry, even your use of the phrase “mega party dude” firmly establishes you as a chocolate milk guy. David O’Doherty: I remember Maxwell, who’s a friend of mine – Andrew Maxwell is such a much more alpha character – brackets, shorter – than me, and he once said to John Oliver, “You lads, you’ve always got bags.” Because we had, as in a backpack or a satchel. And we probably had, like jokes, or like, books, and he was always like, “What’s in your bag?” Like there was something going on, just… we have effigies of you, and we have ceremonies that you’re not allowed to come to.

Before finding that clip, I'd spent an number of Tumblr posts speculating about whether "Chocolate Milk Gang" was a name they'd given themselves, or whether it was something they got called by the media. I never would have guessed that when I got my answer to who coined the term "Chocolate Milk Gang", that answer would be Glenn Wool. So technically, the name "Chocolate Milk Gang" has a Canadian origin. That's fun.

In that copy-paste of that my old post, I would like to draw your attention to this quote: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

I said at the time that it didn't matter, because I was so happy to have the central mystery answered that I could overlook one little confusing bit. But of course, I still tried for a while to look it up. I couldn't quite understand what DO'D was saying - it sounded to me like "favorait", or maybe "fav-o'rait"?

I Googled all these things, but it was hard when I didn't even know what type of place it was. I was picturing a sort of 7/11-style corner store, a place that was open late and sold milkshakes. But I didn't know for sure, so I was just Googling a word that I didn't know how to spell, with no definite context. Throwing in the word "Edinburgh" didn't help.

At some point I took to Google Maps, and then Google Earth. He said the went "over" to get milkshakes after Late 'n' Live, which suggested to me that it couldn't be far from the Gilded Balloon. They wouldn't travel all that far in the middle of the night when they'd just done a long comedy show. So I looked around the map to see if I could find anything by that name, but nothing came up. I eventually gave up on it.

However. However. Here's a shortened version of the clip I posted earlier, of John Oliver on the recent Russell Howard podcast episode, talking about Edinburgh. A clip of just the part that's relevant to this post, where he talks about the CMG days:

He said it! He said it! He didn't quite say the words "Chocolate Milk Gang" (though he came so close), but he did say the same word DO'D said, the name of the store. And John Oliver said it more clearly than DO'D did, I could be more sure I was hearing him correctly, so I was inspired to try Googling again.

I tried Googling potential spellings with the word "Edinburgh" for a while, but nothing came up. Then I realized something (and this part isn't going to make this post sound less Beautiful Mind-y): this is a tradition that started in 2002. The Gilded Balloon burned down in December 2002, and was rebuilt nearby. So in August 2002, when the CMG started, the Gilded Balloon was in a different place to where it is now. All that searching on Google Maps/Earth, I was looking in the wrong spot.

So I did some Googling to try to find the original address for the Gilded Balloon. My CMG research from the last year has led me to know a hell of a lot about the Gilded Balloon, because so much CMG history took place there, and I cannot emphasize enough how thorough I have been in my research. I know its layout and how the backstage looks quite well, since it was heavily featured in that Tim Minchin documentary (I even know more than I need to about how the dressing rooms look, by which I mean there were more shots than I needed of Tim Minchin with his clothes off). I know all about Karen Koren and Late 'n' Live and all these things. I know about the fire. But I couldn't find its original exact address.

I do, however, know it was originally in a place called Cowgate, which is a neighbourhood and/or street and/or square (this is why I've named the cow sacrificing event Cowgate, even though that occurred at the new location in 2003). And I found that the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started in something called Hastie's Close. So I went to that place on Google Earth, figuring the fire couldn't have spread all that far. I set the year to 2005, which was the closest year to 2002 for which Google Earth had archive data around that location. And I explored the area.

I didn't actually expect to find anything, really. But then, suddenly, it appeared before me:

Mystery solved! Another mystery solved! Look, to be honest, most of this post has just been to give context that tries to explain why the fuck I was so excited to find an Edinburgh diner that, as I now know because once I knew exactly what I was looking for I was able to Google the place, closed down years ago. It's exciting because it's the last little piece of the answer that I was so excited to find last year. I can finally fill in the blanks of the transcript of the Holy Grail audio clip. That's what David O'Doherty actually said: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to Favorit and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

It turns out that Favoirt is not a 7/11-style corner store, it's a diner that even had a license to sell alcohol late (according to its front window), but is the sort of place that appears to be more about the milkshakes than about being a bar. And it is, in fact, very near the original Gilded Balloon. Or at least, it's very near the place where the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started. I am so pleased to tie up this loose end.

Why does that matter? Look, I'm not quite sure, but it definitely seemed important. Look, why does anything matter? Anything at all?

Like I said, a lot to unpack in that podcast episode. I have now unpacked one tiny part of it, and it was the least important part. But I did unpack it. It's unpacked now. You're welcome.

...As I keep saying, there are worse things I could have gotten deeply obsessed with as a way to cope with the changing world in pandemic times. I could have gotten really into Jordan Peterson, like some ex-CMG members/hosts of podcasts about a box for things people like, that I could name. At least I didn't do that. I just occasionally spend two hours on Google Earth to find a long-closed diner in Edinburgh. I'm doing fine.

[taestarii]

𖧷 airlock - mingi

[marine biologist!mingi x reader]

synopsis - y/n gets left out of her dive, and has to clean the airlock with mingi instead.

genre! thriller, bits of romance

warning! themes and descriptions of drowning, mentions of attempted murder

a/n! - thank you so much to everyone that has given me support on my past stories! i'm thinking of making this a collection, like different idols as marine biologists, let me know if you would like to see that!

link to request page

They left without you.

"Fuck.“ You cursed under your breath. You thought you had finally gotten through to them, it wasn't as bad at it looked and you barely got hurt, one dive in a exploration was like nothing. You slammed your hand on the control panel before speaking into the intercom. "Daniel, you asshole.“ He laughed into the mic before responding. "I see you're not happy about this.“

"Of course I'm not! I should be down there right now. I'm fine.“ You hissed. "Sure you are. You're really okay after your tussle with Lijing?"

"Yes!"

Lijing is your shark. You've trained her and been by her since since she was a cub, but your recent experiment didn't go as planned when rushed you and instead of turning, went for the bite. Luckily, you got out with nothing but scratches, but everyone is convinced you need some sort of special treatment for your injury, like you're going to lose your leg or something.

"Her name means beautiful spirit for a reason, you're too quick to judge her.“ You could practically hear his eye roll. "You really think you've trained a shark? She bit you Y/n. You can't tame an aggressive animal."

"I hope her family swallows you.“ You said, switching off the intercom. "They left without you?" A voice rang out.

You turned around to be met with the face of Mingi, more specifically, your crush Mingi.

You and Mingi have been training together in the institution, learning here, and living here all of your life, ever since your father founded the institution long before your birth. All of the staff lived here alongside them, mostly because it was in the middle of the ocean.

"Uh yeah.. Daniel's still hung up on the incident with Lijing.“ Mingi's eyebrows raised in understanding. "Still can't believe they left without the head diver, but as long as you're hereee..“ He smiled. "You can clean the airlock with me!" You groaned. "Is that what you do when we leave for explorations?" He nodded. "We have to clean it out before you guys get back, which Daniel and his crew should be back in an hour thirty.“

"MY crew.“ You grumbled, walking with him to the airlock. Mingi typed in the code and pressed the button, the big metal door lifting with a hiss. You got to work in comfortable silence, a few minutes passing before Mingi decides the silence isn't comfortable anymore. "So.. what do you usually do on dives?" He asked, looking up at you. "Wear these giant clunky suits, sink to the bottom, walk around for a little and get pulled up at the end of our tanks.“ You summarized. He nodded in completely fake understanding, a small 'oh' leaving his lips. "You know, I've always.. admired you.“ He confessed bashfully, hiding his face. "What?"

He took a deep breath, preparing his next comment before the main door began sliding down with a metal-on-metal screech. "Wait, no!" You exclaimed, running to the door as it shut with a heavy bang. "It's okay, use the panel.“ Mingi pointed out, getting up to punch in the code. You let out a sigh short-lived relief.

"I-Its not clicking." He panicked, frantically pushing the buttons. "What do you mean it's not clicking?" You watched him push in the code, the panel staying the same solid gray color. "It's broken.“ You sank to your knees, defeated. "We can't get out of here and the diving team should be back in like 45 minutes." Mingi sighed, still trying to punch in the code. "Do you.. hear that?"

You both turned around to sight of running water raining down from the top of the room. "Fuck, the airlock is filling!"

Water pooled at bottom of the room filling up agonizingly slow, giving time to really let the panic sink in. "Could it be the dive team coming back?“ You shook your head, pointing to the overhead light. "If they were, it'd be flashing red. This is happening from the outside.“

Water was pouring into the airlock from all four corners now with a deafening volume. "Is someone trying to kill us?" You shrugged your shoulders. “Honestly, it's likely. And there nothing we can do.“ You said, plopping onto the water filled floor and hugging your knees. "Maybe we could get someone's attention by banging on the door, or we could-"

"No, Mingi!" You lifted your head to meet his eyes with your teary ones. "Anything you can think of, we can't do." Your lip quivered as you yelled. “We are 500 meters underwater, the panel is broken, the room is filling, and even if the divers came back right now, the water pressure would fucking kill us.“

You put your head back down and sobbed into your knees. Mingi took a seat next to you, not knowing how to comfort you when he felt just as helpless. "You remember when I said admired you?“ You lifted your head and sniffled. "Yeah?“

He smiled. "I meant it. Ever since we were younger you've always been brave, like the time you jumped into Lijing's tank unprotected when we were 16.“ You laughed, wiping half-dried tears from your cheeks. "I mean, you go out on dives to explore god knows what in the Midnight zone, and I'm just.. here.“ You face turned into a frown. “What are you talking about?"

"Who's the one that jumped into Lijing's tank to get me out? The one who stayed by my side everyday when I was hospitalized? Not to mention you also keep this whole place running.“ He smiled. "You mean it?"

"Yeah.“ You smiled back, turning your head to face your feet, red-hot blood rushing to your cheeks, the realization you're both standing now, the water up to your shoulders and steadily rising cooling you down. "I can't believe this is really where we die.“ You whispered, her tears mixing with the water. A pair of arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him. "Listen, It's okay." He whispered, himself crying as well as the water lifted them off their feet.

The ceiling was approaching, you both clinging to each other, taking your last few breaths before the cold water enveloped you. Your eyes started spotting, black speckles dancing in your vision before you slowly lost your consciousness.

-

"Y/n, wake up!" Foggy voices clouded your mind. Were you alive? There was a strange weight on your abdomen, a pair of hands switching between shaking you and pressing down on your chest. The world suddenly came back to you as you gained control over your body, sitting up and coughing out water. Mingi had both arms wrapped around your torso, sobbing into your shirt when his head shot up, red puffy eyes meeting yours. "Y/n!“

"Hi, Mingi.“ You smiled weakly. He practically jumped on you as you wrapped your arms around his head. "How did we get out..?" You asked, staring at the now drained airlock in front of you. "I saved your asses.“ You turned to face Wooyoung, who wore a smug grin on his face. "Man I really thought we lost you, I was doing CPR for about 10 minutes.“

"Thanks Woo.“ You groaned, standing up. "How did this even happen?" You coughed out. "Something malfunctioned, an accident I guess.“ He shrugged. Just as he finished talking, loud alarms blared from the upper levels. “Is that.. the control room?“ Your eyes widened. "Daniel!"

The three of you raced up the stairs to the S level, huffing as you reached the top, sirens getting louder. You reached the panel, frantically pulling up stats for Daniel's team. "The radars don't detect them.“ You said, pressing a few more buttons before you spoke into the microphone. "Daniel, can you hear me?"

You turned to face Mingi and Wooyoung.

"This wasn't an accident.“

-

link to the request page

link to spotify kpop playlist

[kawaiipsycho101]

Inspired by the wonderful cat!Shinji AU created by @jo-gakky

I'm taking a walk when I notice a cat hanging upside down in a tree. It doesn't seem to be particularly bothered by its current position, as if this was something they were regularly used to. Still, I want to be sure.

"You okay there, buddy?" I ask. The cat looks at me at me before calmy & gracefully untangling itself from the branch. I let out a sigh of relief. "Okay, then."

I get a closer look at the cat as it hops onto a fencepost. Gangly limbs, white paws, & a nub of a tail meaning the poor thing must've been in an accident at some point...at least, I hope it was an accident.

"Funny lookin' thing, ain'tchya?" The cat, who had been ignoring me whilst grooming itself, suddenly gets up & disappears into someone's backyard. "I meant unique! Unique!" I droop when it doesn't come back.

I see it again a few days later & take a few steps towards it while still keeping my distance.

“Hey," I wave, "I'm sorry about what I said earlier. That was rude of me. If it makes ya feel any better, I still think you're cute. I like unique lookin' cats. Anyway, we cool?"

The cat meows at me.

"I'm taking that as a yes."

Later that evening, I spot the cat around my backyard. Wasting no time, I grab some cat food.

"Hello again." Like before, I approach with caution. "I had some food lyin' around & thought you might like some." I set the small dish on the ground. "It's probably not as good as what you'd find in the wild, but I know it's gettin' cold out & I figure it's better than nothin', ya know?"

The cat just looks at me. With a tired sigh, I take a few steps back & sit down.

"Well, if you don't eat it, maybe the raccoons will, I don't care... Just don't want it to go to waste, ya know?"

We stare at each other for a while before I eventually go back inside. When I check the food dish the next morning, most of the kibble's been eaten. I refill it.

A few days later, I spot the cat eating out of the dish.

"Mind if I join you?" I sit down not too far from them when I'm ignored. "Thanks."

I watch them eat for a bit... Then I start talking.

"I miss seein' cats around here. My neighbor had a bunch & would feed the strays, but when she moved away, they just stopped comin' around. Of course, I had my own cat to worry about." I hug my knees to my chest. "Not anymore though, she passed away not too long ago. Had her for over twenty years... Since I was a little kid. She was a bitch & a psycho, & it took ten years for her to warm up to me...but she was a damn good cat. I miss her." I tilt my head back, so any potential tears can go right back into their ducts. "It's weird...not seein' her outside my room or on my bed when I wake up. It's..." I shake my head & stand back up, turning to head back inside. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be botherin' ya while you eat. I'll leave ya to it-"

Something jumps onto my back before clawing its way onto my shoulder. I'm not proud of the noises I make.

Next thing I know, a golden furry flank is pressed against my cheek as the little bastard purrs right in my ear.

"Look-ow!-sweetie, while I really appreciate the-shit!-lovin', I really need you to-fuck me, that smarts!- get down now."

By the time the cat's off of me, I've gained many scratches & while they hurt like a bitch, I can't help but laugh as it scampers away looking far too pleased with itself.

After that, it's always underfoot whenever I go on walks, leading me to christen them with the title, Lil' Shit, a badge they seem to wear with pride. I don't mind...much. I'm just happy to have a furry friend again.

A few weeks later, I wake up in the middle of the night with hunger pangs. I toss & turn, try to wait them out, but they won't go away. Resigned, I go to the kitchen for a granola bar.

What I find is a nearly six-foot-tall shirtless young man in sweatpants with cat ears & a tail that are most certainly attached to his body raiding my refrigerator. We stare at each other for a solid minute before I slump onto the lid of my garbage can.

"...Huh."

@jo-gakky

[imaginethezeldaverse]

Thinking about Yunobo and forced proximity…

Oh...you and me both, darling. If you could only hear the noise I made.

ANYWAY, here you go! I'm gonna borrow from my initial idea on this

It was just meant to be a simple retrieve. At your request, Yunobo had finally let you into one of the nearby newer digging site of YunoboCo - where large geode clusters were discovered. He was aware how much you enjoyed geodes (though to the Gorons it made for a pretty tasty morsel more than anything else), so giving you an opportunity to chip away at a few walls to take some home was the least he could do for his friend! He personally stood watch as you carefully tapped away here and there, small clusters breaking loose for you to stow away in the small satchel you brought with you. "Sheesh, I don't know how you do this all day," you huffed, wiping some sweat that beaded at your forehead, "All I've done is use this little mallet and I'm tired." Yunobo laughed softly at your plight, swiping at his cheek with his finger, "I guess it's a little different when you're a Goron like me, huh?" Your gaze back to him read a playful 'No Kidding' before you turned back to the wall. In your concentration you didn't hear the sound of rubble start to shake above you. Some sediment fell nearby, catching the attention of the Goron. As he walked closer, a loud crunch sounded just above you both. You tried to look up to inspect the noise, but were instantly shoved into the cave wall. The ceiling of the cavern came crumbling without warning, shaking the earth beneath your feet and all around you. When you finally found yourself brave enough to open up your eyes, you were face first with the jagged surface of the amethyst you had been picking at. You tried to push off from the wall, but a solid form held you firmly in place. "Ngh...I'm sorry I pushed you..." came a strained voice. You were barely able to turn, but with some careful wiggling you peered over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of Yunobo covering you. Just beyond him were large rocks, pressed heavily against him - thus the reason, you imagined, as to why you were crowded between him and the wall. His hands gripped firmly into the wall at either side of your head, arms planted and tense in order to keep the wreckage from reaching you in any capacity - the weight of debris and sharpened geode scraping at the rock of his back. He saved your life, you realized, the severity of your situation dawning on you. "Yuno," you whispered, trying to swallow your panic, "Th-Thank you, my god, I...are you okay?"

He exhaled harshly, making sure to hold steadfast to the rock in front of you both, "I-I'm fine...you're not hurt, are you?" His breath tickled your neck, a small shudder zipping down your spine. Yunobo was close - far closer than you'd ever expected to be near him today, and it was trickling deeper hues into your cheeks. You were grateful he couldn't see your face right now. "Sir! You in there?! Are you alright?! Jeez, this is a mess!" shouted a muffled voice. "I'm alive, Drak, get the guys so we can pull back this rubble, I got a Hylian under here with me!" You heard a few short curses before the far off voice yelled, "On it! Hey! Fellas! We got an emergency!" and his voice would trail out of your earshot. Yunobo leaned forward slowly, his lips finding your ear, "Hey...you doing okay? It might be a minute before we can move." Truthfully speaking you were struggling. Not because you were scared, nor because you were uncomfortable - in fact, you've probably never felt safer knowing you had Yunobo to keep you that way. No, it was the fact that you were pressed into the wall, your body caged so...intimately against the Goron champion. The presence of his biceps at your head, the knowledge that at current all you could was be pinned by him; your head was beginning to spin. Even through the steel of his chest plate you could feel his warmth. You held in your shudder, "I'm f-f-fine, just...fine!" The squeak in your tone concerned Yunobo. His head tilted, inadvertently pressing closer to your shoulder and the side of your face to try to gauge your feelings. He pushed through his physical endeavor to lend you some gentle reassurance. A low whisper, "I'll keep you safe, okay? I'm not gonna let these rocks hurt you." Your nails bit into your palms, the hints of gravel in his voice from his exertion was making your abdomen flutter. Your flushed cheeks were inevitable at this point, you couldn't stop your body from being hyperaware of your proximity. Closing your eyes, you desperately tried to keep your composure, "I know, Yuno," shifting your gaze over your shoulder once more, your eyes were low under the length of your lashes, "...Thank you." It was his turn to blush, as he took in the sight of you beneath him. Were you always this...pretty? The more he scrutinized you, the more he realized just how flush he was against your frame. His chest was fully on your back, arms closed around you, his face slotted so closely to your own. If anyone saw the two of you like this under any other circumstance, they would think... Th-They would think...!

"Heave!" came a loud shout. The gritty noises of bedrock being shifted sounded behind you, several voices bellowing in cloaked panic. One by one the weight lifted from Yunobo's back, his reactionary sigh of relief rolling down your back before he finally moved off of you on his own. You inhaled a breath you were unaware you were holding, your nerves alight from the countless minutes you spent sharing a tight space with the mining president. Yunobo took your hand gently, taking careful steps to pull you from the refuse. "Needless to say, we're shutting this one down for a while, fellas" said Yunobo, his voice holding a tinge of exasperation; when he looked at you, his eyebrows turned up in worry - his expression was nothing short of apologetic, "I can't have what happened today happen again."

"SIR!" the hoard of Gorons echoed before heading off to grab their equipment. You looked on at Yunobo, whose hand never left yours. When he finally met your eyes, his brow was furrowed in a mix of anger and upset, "I..." he began, frown deepening. A hand laid atop his own, stopping his train of thought. Your eyes held such softness, "Don't...I'm safe, Yuno. We're safe. That's all that matters." So many things he wanted to say right now. The Goron champion internally kicked himself for putting you in harm's way...but clearly you would hear none of it. In your smile was kindness, sympathy. You knew he meant you no harm. He had nothing to apologize for, as you would tell him. Sometimes he swore he didn't deserve a person like you. With a rough sigh, Yunobo took his hand from yours to hover it behind your back, a simple gesture to show you out. "C'mon...I'll walk ya home." Come nightfall, your mind raced endlessly. The adrenaline of the accident had long passed from your nerves - now all that was left was the physical memory. He was strong, effortlessly so in his display of holding an entire caves worth of rock from even laying a pebble on you. Your body committed the warmth of his chest to recollection; the sound of his voice, the feel of his mouth so close to some of the more sensitive areas on your neck and shoulders, it was all so visceral. It made your thoughts seep into more sensual corners, a desperate craving for this intimate connection under different circumstances. Little did you know, at his place in HQ, a certain Goron was imagining the welcoming warmth of your touch as well.

[dollestte]

A House In Nebraska: My Thoughts ౨ৎ

This song, by Ethel Cain, has undoubtedly been one of my favorites since early last year. Although it isn't exactly the most popular off the album it's on, Preacher's Daughter, it's definitely still the one I've listened to and liked the most. Now, with that being said, let's continue!

First off, I'd like to thank Hayden for giving me an opportunity to cry the most I ever have in one night, all to this song. If you're out there, you're amazing and I love you. Special mention goes to @ddepressedbookworm for introducing me to this impactful album. Okay, enough dilly-dallying, let's go.

The song starts with some, frankly, insane piano. It's dark and gloomy, setting the atmosphere for the rest of this seven-minute song. Hayden uses many past tenses in the lyrics, allowing us to visualize the impact of Ethel's lover leaving her.

These lines of the chorus, "Where the world was empty, save you and I/Where you came and I laughed and you left and I cried" really resonate with me. The fact that Ethel's misses her lover Willoughby Tucker (canon name) so much is just so insane to me because I've felt that before. Again, this song really hits me hard.

Skipping the next few verses of this very very slow song, we have the bridge/ending. I suggest you read the entire last two verses as I will NOT be quoting them here (it's too long). However, I will never fail to emphasise these lines "And you might never come back home, and I may never sleep at night/But God I just hope you're doing fine out there, I just pray that you're alright" I'm genuinely so hurt by this.

It's so awfully good because Willoughby isn't going to see Ethel again, but Ethel still hopes he's doing well. That is so painful, as a listener, to hear.

Overall, if you didn't want to read all that yapping, I rate the song a solid 98/100- the first time I heard it, I genuinely shed tears of pure anguish. I know a lot of people wouldn't do the same, but it's just my personal opinion, please respect that!

Once again, thank you for reading! I love all my devoted followers. Even if you're not my follower. Maybe I don't love you then.

Xoxo,

iz ౨ৎ

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Bisexual!Michael Masterlist

but then i hear u calling (there u are) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke N/R, 933

Summary: michael and luke have always been the closest. friendly kisses lasting no longer than 3 seconds are shared frequently between the duo- calum and ashton watching from a distance, almost admiring their friendship. until it wasn't a friendship anymore.

How You Get the Girl (ao3) - 1loulu5 michael/calum, michael/ofc T, 2k

Summary: “Wh… What does ‘castrate’ mean?” Michael sounded perplexed.

Calum laughed, “It means I’ll cut your balls off.”

“Oh-”

~~~

Michael calls Calum, his ex for the past 4 years, for relationship advice.

Not Just a Stupid Game (ao3) - coffeemuke michael/luke E, 2k

Summary: A game of truth or dare leads to Michael following through on a dare.

Paint Me - @daydadahlias (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/crystal E, 17k

Summary: “Holy shit, hold on a minute,” Calum says, “is that who we’re supposed to be drawing?”

“I can’t draw him,” Michael gawks, “I’m not a Goddamn renaissance painter.”

Or, the one where Luke is an art student practicing realism for a month and Ashton is the nude model in his portrait class.

Promise (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, sierra/luke, michael/crystal, calum/ofc M, 115k

Summary: Live music photographer Calum does one favour for a friend (filling in last minute for a show), and his life changes for good. Finding his muse, world-famous pop/rock sensation Ashton Irwin. He thinks once the shows are over, he can pack it in and forget all about it, but a Google search and a phone call set him up on a North American tour where he'll see the man every day... Too bad his Google search revealed the man of his every fantasy has a purity pact with God. So what's a..promiscuous young man to do? Repress it? Sure, that'll work.

Tangled in a Triangle (ao3) - orsumeuphoria michael/crystal/ashton E, 9k

Summary: “You ever have him like this, Crys?” Ashton asks. Crystal doesn’t say anything, but she must shake her head because Ashton continues, “Shame. I think you’d like it. He’s so pretty on his knees.” Michael keens. “C’mere.”

Crystal’s immaculate sneakers appear right behind Ashton’s boots.

The next command he gets isn’t spoken. Ashton only has to tap the base of his jaw for Michael to look up.

The image of both Ashton and Crystal towering over him, Ashton smiling softly and Crystal looking intrigued, is one he burns into his memory.

“Hi, dove,” Ashton murmurs softly, “Fucking missed you.”

The Blower's Daughter (ao3) - MyMy michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 13k (WIP)

Summary: “Did you need something else?” Michael inquires politely a little confused himself.

“I was wondering if I could get your number actually?” The stranger asks biting his lip into his mouth quickly.

“Oh sure!” Michael replies happily. He reaches around the register to the side facing the customer and feels around for the little stack of cards with the shop info on it and the logo embossed in solid black.

“Here this has the shop number right here.” Michael points to the tiny row of numbers on the card. “So if you need anything don’t be afraid to call, okay? We can do special orders as well so anything music related we’ll try our best to get it for you!”

The Gayest Thing I've Ever Done (ao3) - coffeemuke michael/luke, calum/ashton E, 1k

Summary: Band bonding crosses the line between normal and weird, and it's Luke's fault. But the boys don't seem to mind.

The Posse's Origin (ao3) - Jay_isnotokay calum/ashton, michael/ashton E, 6k

Summary: "...I've been apart of the princess posse for a few weeks now and I still don't how you two got 'initated' in the first place." Luke said.

"Alright, LuLu, have I got a story for you."

~

Or Luke wants to know how the posse started and, well, they tell him.

up to your mouth, feeling it out (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke, luke/ashton E, 9k

Summary: Ashton's the one who suggested it; after all, he would know how well Luke would do in the industry, since he spent most Friday nights with his best friend's lips around his cock. Luke, on the other hand, didn't know he would end up fluffing for a record-breaking pornstar who is like, really really hot, and definitely his type.

or, Luke is broke and has a talented mouth (and a tongue piercing).

your string of lights is still bright to me (ao3) - merlypops michael/calum E, 81k

Summary: Michael is struggling to be the father his daughters need. Until he meets Calum again.

[waywardxrhea]

Part Twenty-Five: Lagos

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence, (potentially smut later on).

installment list

Word count: 4.5k

The team finally gets a lead on what Rumlow may be up to so they fire up the jet and head to Lagos to stop him.

[With an Emma and Steve moment before]

After a couple more months of group training and continued snide comments from Sam and Natasha, Steve and Emma decide to do some training on their own in the mornings together before the team did their group exercises to avoid the distractions. One morning Steve wakes up and makes his way to Emma's room, knocking on the door gently when he gets there. From inside, Emma rolls over in her bed and calls, "Five more minutes?"

Steve chuckles as he cracks the door open. "Those five minutes could potentially cost you your life, Em. You said it yourself, you wanted to train more so you can be up to par with the rest of us."

Emma sighs but starts to get out of bed, asking, "Can I have a couple minutes to get ready?"

"That you can," Steve replies.

Emma smiles and rubs her eyes as she gets out of the covers. "Here, throw on a record or something while you wait," she offers, "it's my day to choose the music we train to anyways so you might as well choose something you like before my playlist is on."

"Fair enough," Steve replies as he grabs a vinyl from Emma's collection to put on her record player.

Emma grabs some athletic clothes to put on before she brushes her teeth. When she's ready, she grabs her tablet and tells Steve, "Let's go."

"You know, I like doing this in the mornings, just us," he tells her as they walk to the training area.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Steve says with a smile, "it reminds me of DC."

"Oh yes when you completely outran me every morning?" Emma teases with a smile.

"That was the time," Steve laughs. "Things were a bit more simple those days."

"You're telling me," Emma replies. Gaining a bit of confidence as they reach the training gym, Emma adds, "I really did miss one on one time with you, so I'm really glad we've started to do this."

Steve smiles as his mind races to find something to say back, but he only comes up with, "Me too." He mentally kicks himself for saying something so lame while Emma sets her tablet up to the speakers in the gym.

After Emma gets SAM to cue up her playlist she starts a warmup to the music. A few minutes later, she jogs in place while asking Steve, "Ready to get your ass kicked old man?"

"In your dreams, Baker," he replies with a laugh, "but I'll go easy on you today since I woke you up so early."

"Why thank you," Emma says with a sweet smile as they begin their workout. After a solid hour of weight training and cardio, Steve tells Emma it was time for combat. She leans against the wall, out of breath, and says, "Okay give me like two seconds to recover Mr. Super Soldier."

Slipping into Captain mode, Steve tells Emma, "Em, in a battle you won't have two seconds to recover before an enemy attacks again."

Emma takes in a deep breath and nods. "That's fair. Okay, I'm ready. What move are we working on today?"

"Taking someone down from behind. You've gotten good at defensive moves if someone already has you pinned, but you need more work on your offensive moves. I've noticed that in training and on the few missions we've been on, you rely on your drone a lot for offense. You won't always be able to use your tech so you need to know how to effectively get the jump on an opponent without it."

Emma nods. "Got it. Where do we start?"

Steve takes Emma through multiple exercises for a little while before she gets a grasp on them. "Okay, now that you've got those down, let's combine what you just learned with what you already know. Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Emma replies with a nod. Her body is exhausted from the training, but she knows she can't give up so close to the end of the session.

Emma and Steve square off for a few minutes, taking it easy before Steve kicks it up a notch. She dodges his punches skillfully and turns on the offensive moves she learned in return when he backs down. When Emma blanks on one of the new moves Steve taught her, he takes that as an opportunity to grab her arms from behind. Instinctively, she dives into a move Natasha taught her to get out of Steve's grasp. Emma plants her right foot between Steve's feet and spins her body into his, knocking him off his balance. While he's off his balance, Emma reaches down and takes a leg out from under him which knocks him to the floor.

Emma straddles Steve's body and pins his arms to the mat and smirks. "Gotcha." Both of their chests heave from the need for oxygen and their hearts race due to the closeness of their bodies. The way Steve looks into her eyes puts Emma in a slight trance and her grip on his arms loosens. At that moment, there was no one else in the world but them.

"That was great, but there's just one thing," Steve says, breathlessly. Emma scrunches her eyebrows and Steve takes the moment of confusion to effortlessly flip Emma to the mat and pin her himself. "You're distracted." When he says this, Steve gets impossibly close to Emma and it makes her heart skip a beat. The pair stare into each other's eyes, not sure what to say nor what to do with the tension building between them even though they both know what they want at that moment.

Emma tries to control her breathing, the room spinning a bit from the effort of the last hour and a half of work coupled with the fact that she and Steve were so close. Meanwhile, without thinking, Steve starts to lean in to close the gap between his and Emma's lips. Steve's lips are just about to meet Emma's when suddenly there's a voice in the gym. "Oh, I apologize. Am I interrupting something?" The voice belongs to Vision who had phased through the wall unannounced.

Steve lets go of Emma's wrists he had pinned to the ground and stands up, quickly telling Vision, "No, not interrupting anything. We were just finishing up our training for the morning."

Steve offers a hand to help Emma up and she takes it, getting up and walking over to where she had sat her water bottle earlier. While she gets her drink, Vision says, "Oh, well I just thought because of the undeniable chemistry you two have I may have been interrupting...a moment as some call it."

Emma almost chokes on her water as she hears this and Steve's cheeks ignite in a pink tint. "I-it wasn't like that," Steve says, scratching the back of his neck. "Just some training."

Vision looks between the two who were clearly flustered in regards to the situation and decides not to prod any further, saying instead, "Okay, whatever you say Captain Rogers. I just came in here to inform you that Miss Romanoff and Miss Hill were requesting your presence in the intelligence quarters of the compound."

"Thanks, Vision, I'll meet them down there as soon as possible," Steve replies with a nod.

After giving him the message, Vision leaves the room, through a door this time, leaving Steve and Emma alone once again. The room finally gets back to not spinning and Emma turns to face Steve. They share a look, neither sure what to say, but neither one breaking the silence. After a few more seconds of racking their brains trying to figure out what to say, Steve finally speaks. "Good work this morning, Em. I'll be sure to tell Nat how easily those defensive moves are coming to you without any assistance anymore."

Emma smiles. "Thanks. And thank you for training with me this morning. It was nice. Exhausting, but nice."

"Same time next week?" Steve asks.

"You'll know where to find me," Emma replies.

"Great," Steve nods before heading to the door. "I'll see you later."

"See ya," Emma tells him. Before Steve can get out the door, she calls out to him, "You really should watch your legs more in a fight, Rogers."

Steve laughs and nods in response, "I'll try and keep that in mind."

As Emma grabs her things from the other side of the gym, her mind races. Was her mind playing tricks on her or did Steve just try and kiss her? As she makes her way to her room to shower, she makes a mental note to tell Maria about what happened, hoping it wasn't too good to be true.

One morning after team training, everyone is taking a little bit of time to rest, but Emma and Steve sit in the living area trying to find any sort of breadcrumb trail that could lead them to a mission. Emma types away into the software on her computer following a hunch she has while listening to Steve with half an ear. After a few more keystrokes, she finds what she's looking for. "Son of a bitch..." she whispers to herself. She looks up with a smile on her face and says louder, "Steve, look!"

"Did you find something?" Steve asks, wandering over to stand behind her and look at her screen.

"Did I find something? Yes, yes I did. I found where Rumlow is going to be. This afternoon. Lagos, Nigeria."

Steve smiles as he leans over the couch back to see what she found. In the heat of the moment, he gently kisses the side of Emma's head and whispers, "You're amazing." Joy and relief flood his body knowing they now had a chance on taking down Rumlow.

Emma giggles and avoids looking at Steve so he wouldn't see the stupid smile on her face. She commands SAM to save the files and send them to Maria, Natasha, and Steve while seeing if there was anything else she could find. After a few more minutes of nothing, she says aloud to Steve who had gone to his laptop to look at the files, "I can't find anything else. We might have to fly in half-blind on this one."

"Half-blind is better than we've had in months. I'll get a team together. We head out in half an hour. Get your stuff ready to go," he tells her, shutting the laptop and hastily walking from the living area.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Sam and Natasha make smoothies for the team and watch the events of Emma finding a lead unfold in front of them. After seeing Steve kiss Emma's temple, Sam can't help but laugh at how awkward the both of them turn in the moments after. Natasha rolls her eyes and says to Sam, "I just wish they would kiss for real and get it over with already. It's getting painful to watch them not say anything about their feelings for each other."

"Tell me about it," Sam says. "Do you know how hard it is for me to not just force them to confess their very obvious crush on each other?"

"I bet. I just wonder though, how can they be so oblivious?" Nat asks before she takes a sip of her smoothie.

At that moment, Vision phases into the kitchen, causing Sam to jump at his sudden appearance. "Geez, Vision, I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to that."

"My apologies Mr. Wilson," Vision tells him. "If I may, though, on the subject of Captain Rogers and Miss Baker. Even with my limited knowledge of the complexities of human emotions, I can't help but think that the two of them may feel as though there is something holding them back from each other. That could be personal insecurity, past experiences, or anxiety about what happens if they do tell each other, among other things. So perhaps they would like to confess their feelings for one another but feel as though they can't."

The two nod in response, but before either can say something on the subject, Steve walks over to them and begins telling them about the new mission they're heading out on. "Copy that, Cap," Sam tells Steve and then goes to get his Falcon wings for the mission.

A few hours later Steve has a team put together in Nigeria to follow up on the lead Emma found. The team consists of Natasha, Wanda, Emma, Sam, and Steve. The girls all sit separately in a cafe while the guys stake out the area from some buildings a bit further away from their position. Emma sits at the cafe's bar while operating SAM via her glasses. From his position atop a building, Sam tells her, "You're not the only one with a drone today, Baker. Redwing is joining us. You and SAM can thank him later for all the help he's gonna provide."

Emma sighs and rolls her eyes. "I'll thank him if he outdoes SAM, Wilson." Sam had gotten Redwing after his pack and goggles were destroyed in their fight with Ant-Man and ever since, he's been trying to outdo Emma and SAM whenever he could.

Over the earpieces, Natasha quietly tells them, "How about we focus on this mission instead of drone capabilities?"

"Yes ma'am," they both respond at the same time.

Steve then asks over the headset, "All right, what do you guys see out there?"

"Standard beat cops," Wanda replies. "Small station and a quiet street, it's a good target."

"There's an ATM on the south corner, which means, Baker?" Steve asks her.

"Cameras," she replies quietly as she takes in the aerial view that SAM is getting for her. "All seems well setup from what I'm seeing. Except for the disadvantage of the roads being one way."

"And that means compromised escape routes," Wanda piggybacks on Emma's statement.

"Exactly, good job you two," Steve tells them. "What all of this also means though is that our guy doesn't care if he's seen and isn't afraid to make a mess on the way out. Emma, do you see that Range Rover up the block?"

Emma subtly turns her camera with the control tablet she has resting in her lap and replies, "Affirmative."

"It's cute," Wanda tells them as she spots it as well.

"It's also bulletproof which means private security," Natasha tells them. "And that means more guns which means more headaches for someone and that someone is probably gonna be us."

"You guys know I can move things with my mind, right?" Wanda asks as she sips her tea.

"Well looking over your shoulder has to become second nature," she tells Wanda. Nat then takes a small teasing jab at Emma, saying, "Not everyone has the luxury of being able to see from a bird's eye view all the time plus whatever's in front of her."

After this statement, Sam asks Natasha, "Has anyone ever told you you're a little paranoid?"

"Not directly to me, why?" Natasha asks.

Steve stops all of their banter by saying, "Eyes on the target folks, this is the best lead we've had on Rumlow in six months, I'm not about to lose him."

"Well if he sees any one of us coming I don't think that'll be a problem, the man kinda hates us," Sam tells him.

Steve looks out the window he's stationed at and sees an ambling garbage truck and tells Sam, "Wilson, you see that garbage truck? I need you to go tag it."

Sam sends Redwing off to the truck while teasing Emma, "See, Cap wanted Redwing for this job."

Steve sighs and says, "I need SAM for eyes in the sky while all of this goes down, Wilson. We aren't arguing about the drones right now, got it?" Emma laughs to herself and shakes her head at the conversation as she continues monitoring the streets from her place in the cafe.

Once Redwing makes his scans, Sam announces, "This thing is loaded for max weight and the driver's armed."

"It's a battering ram," Natasha mumbles.

"Go now," Steve directs in response. Sam activates his wings and jumps from the building he's perched on and Emma stands up from her seat at the bar to get ready for what was coming. "He isn't going for the police," Steve tells them as he starts to see more of the action unfolding on the streets.

From above, SAM captures the truck heading to a building nearby and Emma calls information out as she gets it. "The truck's heading towards the Building for Infectious Diseases. There's at least a dozen occupants inside the building right now and a guard in the post outside." The truck crashes into the entrance and Emma sees more trucks heading in, so she informs the team, "They have multiple other trucks moving in, we need to be quick, I think this is gonna be a firefight."

"Who can get there the quickest?" Natasha asks.

Before anyone can respond, Emma gathers more information and calls out, "Lots of men with lots of machine guns. They just shot canisters with gas into the building. Everyone, be careful. I'll have you guys' six from the air."

"Copy that, thank you, Emma," Steve tells her as he makes his way to the building with Sam. Emma captures the action as Steve takes on the men by himself, working flawlessly and efficiently. After taking them down, Steve updates everyone on the men, "Body armor, AR-15s, I make seven hostiles."

Sam flies in and takes a couple down before saying, "I make five."

Making her way to the building on foot, Emma is at a disadvantage for speed but captures Wanda's quick trip there and her takedown of some of the men with the help of Sam. "Make that four," Wanda calls out.

"I'm gonna have Redwing run the scans for now. Baker, you keep on watching our backs," Sam tells Emma as he starts tapping on his tablet.

"Copy that," Emma replies, knowing now was the time to be serious and not continue with their banter.

After another minute of making her way to the building, Emma comes to the site right as Wanda starts to take the gas out of the building with her powers. She also sees her lift Cap into the building so she sends SAM in after him to watch his back. "Steve, I've got SAM coming in after you," she tells him as she crouches behind some rubble for cover from the hostiles.

"Copy," he tells her as he fights some of the hostiles in the building.

Emma runs scans for the rest of the men in the building and informs Steve, "They're about to get their hands on what they came here for. We better hurry, it looks serious. Like...bioweapon serious."

"Let's deal with these guys first," Steve mumbles as he launches his shield to take one out.

"On it," Emma replies as she takes down the other guy with one of her blasters. Around her outside, a flurry of bullets fills the air. Sam protects Wanda with his wings while Emma continues to hide behind some of the large pieces of rock that had been destroyed by the truck earlier, still having to dodge the occasional chunk of debris flying her way.

After Steve and Emma deal with the men, he tells her, "Lead the way."

"They're already heading out the back," Emma tells him after conducting a scan of the building.

Steve nods and informs the team, "Rumlow is on his way out and he's got a biological weapon."

"On it," Natasha calls from the motorcycle she commandeered from a citizen near the cafe. Emma gets SAM out of the building just in time to watch Natasha take down a handful of men before being thrown into a truck.

She then sees Rumlow get his hands onto a heavy machine and take aim at Steve. "Cap, watch out!" Emma shouts just in time for Steve to put his shield up to protect himself. She captures the escape he makes running from the multiple grenades Rumlow shoots at him, finally ending with him flying out of the building and landing near where Emma is stationed. She quickly runs to Steve's side and helps him to his feet, asking, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," he replies with a slight strain in his voice from the pain he just endured. He quickly tells Sam where Rumlow went off to before switching off his coms for a minute.

"What can I do to help?" Emma asks him, switching her coms off as well.

"What I need you to do is stay safe okay?" Emma nods and Steve looks into her eyes and sternly says, "If you go hand to hand with these guys, just remember all our training. I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt, Em. Please be safe."

"I will," she tells him with a nod. Steve goes to grab his shield and before he heads off, Emma calls to him, "Remember to watch your legs!" A smile makes its way onto Steve's lips as he nods to her and sends her a two-finger salute before running off and keeping the men away from Emma.

As the action moves away from the building, Emma follows Sam with her drone to a bustling market. "Need a lift?" Natasha asks as she revs the engine of the motorcycle she's driving.

Emma nods and hops onto the back as Natasha speeds to the market. On the way there, she switches her earpiece back on. "I've got the four of them splitting up," Sam informs everyone as they all converge on the market.

"We need to split too," Natasha tells Emma as she expertly maneuvers herself and Emma off of the bike and over a multitude of taxis on the road.

"Got it," Emma replies as she darts off in the other direction, following one of the men SAM pinged as one of Rumlow's. When she gets closer to the man, she calls SAM to be closer to her in case she needs the aid of the blasters from the drone.

While Emma stays in the shadows of the market slowly following the guy, Sam calls out about the man he captured, "He doesn't have it."

Emma sees Natasha sprinting through the stalls nearby out of the corner of her eye and sees the man she's chasing up ahead about to cross right in front of her. She orders SAM to shoot a blaster in front of him to distract him to aid in Natasha's chase. Quickly after this though, a second hostile emerges from the rows of shops and points his gun at Nat. Emma sees this and sprints to the area, kicking the man's legs out from under him and knocking the gun from his hands. Before Emma can make any further attacks on the man though, he throws an elbow right at her temple and it makes her see stars.

Emma blinks hard trying to regain her senses as Natasha fights the two men by herself aided by SAM's automatic protection response to Emma being compromised. By the time Emma regains her senses, she sees Natasha and one of the men pointing their guns at each other in a standoff while the other man holds the vial with the bioweapon, threatening to drop it if Natasha doesn't drop her gun.

Neither man notices Emma evaluating the scene nor Redwing slowly flying into the area. Sam's voice crackles into Emma's ear, saying, "Baker, I've got the man with the vial. I'm gonna shoot him. Nat, you dive for that vial right when I do. Baker, make sure the other guy can't get her."

"Copy," Emma replies quietly as she reaches for the pistol she has secured to her leg.

Sam takes the shot at the man holding the vial and Nat makes a dive for it while Emma shoots the other man in the leg before he could get to Natasha. Jumping up with the vial in her hand, Nat says, "Payload secure. Thanks, Wilson."

"Don't thank me, thank Redwing," Sam replies with a smirk.

"I'm not thanking that thing," Nat replies. She then gives Emma a hand up off the ground, saying, "Emma never makes me thank SAM."

"Aw, they're just needing some validation," Emma teases as she gets to her feet.

"Very funny you two, let's just make fun of good ol' Sam and Redwing," Sam laughs.

Meanwhile in a different part of the market, Steve shows down with Rumlow, both fighting as hard as they can. Rumlow punches Steve into a shelf but he quickly gets back up and back into the fight before Rumlow could get an advantage over him.

"This is what you get for dropping a building on my face," Rumlow growls at Steve as they face off. He then extends a blade from his suit and drags it across the wall behind Steve after he dodges it. The two fight a bit more before Rumlow takes off his helmet revealing his disfigured face, saying, "I think I look pretty good all things considered."

"Who's your buyer?" Steve asks, ignoring his previous statement, holding him by the collar.

Rumlow disregards the question and instead says to Steve, "You know, he knew you. Your pal. Your Bucky."

"What did you say?" Steve asks in a low voice, freezing and letting his guard down at the mention of Bucky.

"He remembered you," Rumlow tells him. "I was there. He got all emotional until they put his brain back in a blender. He told me 'please tell Rogers that when you gotta go, you gotta go,' and you're coming with me."

By this point, Emma had gotten SAM back into the air and found Steve confronting Rumlow. She captures the moments when Rumlow pushes the button to ignite a suicide bomb that he intended to take himself and Steve out with but is instead encased in a forcefield of Wanda's making. Wanda lifts the explosion into the air and away from the market but can't hold it long enough to keep it from doing damage to the area around it. The explosion goes off midair and destroys a nearby building which immediately ignites panic in the citizens at the market.

Everyone covers their mouth in shock at what just happened, and no one besides Steve can come up with words for what they just witnessed. Even then, his words are strained in disbelief as he says, "We need fire and rescue ASAP. Sam, Emma, you two see what your drones can do in terms of helping out..."

"On your orders," Emma replies quietly as she flies SAM into the wreckage to see if she could save anyone that had been in the building.

link to the next part

a/n I once again overdid it with the music, so I’m just leaving a list of music here!

Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

Rise Above It - I Prevail

Get Through This - The Art of Dying

One More Time - I Prevail

One for the Money - Escape the Fate

Reaching - Jason Reeves

Give Your Heart a Break - Demi Lovato

You are Gold - The National Parks

Things I’ll Never Say - Avril Lavigne

You Have My Heart - Emily Sage