#I'M LITERALLY JUST A NORMAL ASS PERSON MAN

[sirfrogsworth]

This bugged me so much that I actually watched Spider-Man last night.

To show you how cherry picked this nonsense is...

Doc Ock sees Spider-Man in the shadows. He only knows that the Tom Holland Spider-Man is in this universe.

And then Spidey walks forward to reveal, he is Tobey Spider-Man!

In the context of the scene, this lighting makes a lot of sense. Doc Ock can't really tell who it is until he steps into the light. You feel what the character feels when this reveal happens. It was an artistic decision that I think worked very effectively.

But if you cherry pick different scenes, you can find some really cool looking shots with more dynamic lighting.

The movie did not feel overly dark to me. There are far worse examples.

But then I looked at Spider-Man 3 from 2007. I found the scene used in the example. In the scene, there are news helicopters and spotlights that occasionally light up the characters.

This does not look nearly as bright as the Twitter photo. And that is because it was a promotional still that was most likely photoshopped and enhanced for marketing.

Here is the full image released as a "leak" to the press.

Photos are color graded much differently than movies. For a still frame, the dynamic range is pushed to the limits. You only have that single frame to convey your artistic vision. But for a movie, you want to use dynamic range over a period of time for impact. If you make everything have max contrast and brightness in every frame, your eyes are gonna get tired and the impact will be diminished.

And if you look at a few other shots from this same section of the movie, you can cherry-pick some pretty dark shots if you want.

There is a debate in the world of cinematography about "motivated" light. Especially when it comes to night scenes.

Do you shoot your movie with light that could not possibly exist?

Or do you try to "motivate" the light so there is a plausible source for where it comes from?

Or do you do a mixture?

Some people do not care if the light is unmotivated or unrealistic. But for lighting nerds like me, it can sometimes break the immersion. In fact, I was just watching Die Hard 4 the other night and this scene triggered my spidey-sense.

They are in the middle of a blackout. All lights are out. Where the heck is this bright ass light coming from? Even a full moon is not that fucking bright. The glare on the road is literally blowing out the film stock to pure white.

Most people don't care.

But some people care.

Directors and cinematographers tend to be lighting nerds like me. And many like to justify where the light is coming from. It's a big artistic choice and a lot of viewers do not agree with the decision to go more realistic. And so you get this "movies are too dark" discourse. Could a compromise be made? Is there a happy medium? Will this current fad just die out? Or will it evolve into something new that makes everyone a little happier?

Nope had a very novel solution to this lighting conundrum. They actually shot during the day and used infrared film along with normal film to compose a very visually legible day-for-night effect.

But that was very expensive and a lot of work to dial in. It wasn't a push button solution and the sky had to be replaced.

People have a lot of strong opinions about this. They want their personal viewing experience and tastes prioritized. But to fix the sound for people using small speakers, you have to make the experience worse for people with home theaters. To fix the darkness you have to do the same, but you also have to go against artistic intent.

Let's say I posted this photo I took and edited it to be dark and spooky.

This is what "hypothetical me" felt suited this photo best from my artistic instincts. And I edited it on a 32-inch, 4K, 1000 nit, perfectly calibrated monitor, in a dark environment. I kept the subject small in the frame because I wanted the darkness to envelop her.

But someone says, "Hey, I'm viewing this on a phone on a park bench on a sunny day. She is too small and the photo is too dark. I can't tell what is going on. You need to brighten this photo and crop it so I can see it better."

That hypothetical person has demanded hypothetical me change my artistic vision to suit their circumstances.

As an artist, that feels kinda bad.

Even if a consensus of people think I made a bad artistic choice and the majority of people will not see my photo as I created it, should I compromise my intent and change it?

What do I do?

Personally, I want as many people as possible to enjoy my photographic antics. I like to consider input and sometimes I do change my mind. But if people *demanded* I change a photo... I'd probably be pretty unhappy about that.

So you have a situation where there is artistic intent, displays with technical limitations, and varied viewing circumstances all crashing together and everyone wants their needs prioritized.

If you think you have a perfect solution to this or a way to please everyone, I assure you, you don't. I've been researching this for years. There is no compromise that will make everyone happy aside from making different versions of the content. But if you do that, some of those versions may go against the artist's wishes.

I think creating a new version would be easier for the sound. Streaming services already have multiple audio tracks for different languages and descriptive audio. I don't think it would be very hard to create a stereo mix for small speakers.

But the darkness issue is another matter. Every single device has a different screen with a different max brightness and a different dynamic range and a different way of tone mapping and a different array of settings you can change. And your viewing experience can change drastically depending on the size of the screen and the lighting of the room you are in.

The good news is, modern displays are all getting much brighter. If you are in a bright environment, your display will be able to compete with the light. And as more people watch content in HDR, both dark and bright details will be easier to see. Artists can create a dark scene that still has plenty of detail with that expanded dynamic range. But I'm afraid HDR is still pretty new and they are still figuring out the best practices for color grading and lighting and all that. There are movies that have flat color grades to make the VFX and HDR color grades easier, but contrast and saturation take a hit. Wicked is getting a lot of flak for that. But I do think movies will look better on more screens in more challenging settings in the next decade or so.

And there are some imperfect solutions you can employ in present day.

For audio...

Prime Video has a dialogue boost mode. There are headphones and soundbars and streaming devices that have the same in their settings. Though getting something with a center channel speaker will help more than anything.

There is also a dynamic range compression feature in audio receivers and other devices. That's usually called night mode or quiet mode. You might be able to find a phone app or computer app to do this. It will raise the volume of the quiet stuff and lower the volume of the loud stuff. People sensitive to volume changes and hard of hearing folks seem to find this mode helpful. (And people that want to watch porn at a low volume.)

For video...

VLC Player and Media Player Classic both have ways to adjust various brightness and contrast and color settings. You can almost apply your own color grade to what you watch.

There is a plugin for Media Player Classic called "MadVR" which has endless options you can tweak. It has a learning curve, but it is very powerful. Here is a setup guide.

Tweaking the actual video file works much better than adjusting the settings of your display. You can get a much more natural looking image. But if you use a streaming service this doesn't really help much due to their proprietary players. MadVR makes a hardware solution that would work, but it is very expensive.

Rtings.com has a great guide on how to calibrate a TV or Monitor. Depending on your display and how well it was calibrated by the manufacturer, this could help you see things better and also get a more accurate experience aligned with the artist's intent.

That said, movies are always crafted to be seen in a dark, quiet environment. They design movie theaters like that for a reason. If you want the best experience and you want to honor the artist's intent, matching that environment as close as you can is the way to go.

I know that isn't always possible. And I know I didn't even touch on people with disabilities and the complexity of improving their experiences. But this is as much as I can explain with my energy right now.

I honestly am not sure how I wrote this much. But I guess that Twitter post pissed me off enough to give me rage energy.

I have two posts 90% written that have been sitting in my drafts forever. One is about how megapixels are deceiving. And the other is about why people feel TV and movies are too dark.

I don't know when I will find the energy to finish them. But I do want to say this...

If something seems too dark, make sure you are in a dark room when watching it.

For a long time, I thought people just didn't have their screens adjusted properly. But then I saw a guy complaining about this on Twitter and he was watching on an old laptop with a dim screen in his kitchen next to a giant glass door in the middle of a sunny day.

Light competes with light.

The brighter thing will always win.

Make sure your screen is the brightest thing in the room. If you need some lights on, make sure they are behind the screen (bias lighting). The dimmer your screen, the darker your environment needs to be.

Bonus tip... if you are having trouble hearing the show, try a quieter room and make sure your speakers are close to you.

It's the same concept. A/C hum or fans or any ambient noise can hurt the fidelity of your sound.

Sound competes with sound.

Also, speakers have to work harder the farther away they are. If the speakers are underpowered, this can cause distortion. So if you move closer to your speakers, they can operate at a lower volume and work more efficiently.

Every movie/show is mastered in a super dark, super quiet room. The closer you can come to matching those conditions, the better your experience will be.

[kerosene-saint]

don't interact with me if you have Satanists in ur dni.

oh nooo I'm gonna kill ya because I'm a part of the satanic temple oh nooo I'm gonna go sacrifice a goat and cut off a baby's head /sarcastic

[mecha--maniac]

I have no one to talk to about AU stuff so I'm just concept doodling and going insane

[my-past-disgusts-me]

Stayed up way too late drawing a followup comic for what I posted on my art account. I looove these fucking idiots

[medicinemane]

It's amazing how quickly you can make someone turn on your company by making a stupid and insulting move

Force me to go through the front door and scan my card when I have backdoor business that never needed a card before (what? ...I was going to somehow... sneak in and... purchase things with a borrowed card? ...which I totally can't do from the front door after scanning it?)

Or like... twitterify your layout right after your users give you a bunch of money just cause they like you, and then refuse to walk it back

...or all the other things companies do that just kinda piss people off and then they refuse to acknowledge maybe it sucks and is stupid cause "hey, the customers didn't leave"... yeah... yet

[oflgtfol]

it is so utterly insane to me the way i've had this like fundamental shift in my personality since i started therapy, started medication, and graduated college. i used to be so shy and quiet and awkward. it used to take me years of everyday interaction to begin to feel any sense of real friendship with anyone, and the idea of public speaking or small talk with strangers etc was enough to have me trembling and shaking

and now like. i'm doing public speaking. i'm doing small talk with strangers. at michaels i'm actually having conversations with customers whenever the mood hits because i like actually enjoy talking to people now? even if it's just small talk it's just nice to like, have a nice friendly conversation? if i need to confront someone now, for whatever reason, whether it's to ask a question or to politely ask them not to do something, nowadays i can actually do it, instead of being the living epitome of the coward end of the "he asked for no pickles" meme. now I'M the person saying "he asked for no pickles." i'm the one that my more shy coworkers turn to when the time comes. I'M the person being shoved at the shy coworkers to chat them up and get them to be more outgoing. I'M the one guiding the conversation asking questions and keeping people talking trying to get them to open up. literally never imagined myself like this

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

can't wait to get home so i can fucking EAT

[suiana]

yandere! best friend who's not really a yandere but actually kinda is if you get what I'm saying. like, like!!!!

he'll say all of thesebout of pocket really weird and REALLY specific stuff that involve loving you but then when it actually comes to doing it he just laughs and says it's all a joke.

"best friend can i eat your ass as we merge our souls to forever be destined as one?"

"is this a joke???"

"obviously 😂☝️ now tell me about jim from work."

this man wouldn't hurt a single person and you know it. bro literally volunteers at homeless shelters and does social work. he loves kids and goes into things with an open mind. he's mindful of his words and would NEVER utter some diabolical line because... why would he???

yet when it comes to you, it's like all stop signs have been brutally removed from the ground and eaten because why is he telling you in DETAIL about how much he wants to live in your walls and watch you sleep??? he's even telling you how you look cute when you're sleepwalking??? you didn't even know you sleep walked???

you can't tell if it's just a #homie thing or what but he gets kinda freaky too and apparently best friends get freaky with each other?? like you two could be in the most BORING situation but all of a sudden you'll feel his hand on your knee, slowly rubbing over where your skin would be. then he'd turn to you with the most bombastic expression, licking his lips before going on with what he was doing before getting his freak up.

"we could get all hot and bothered best friend... just you and me... no one else..."

"BRO we're watching the NEWS"

"so? you're looking extra fine today best friend... mind if i get a taste?"

is he okay?

genuinely?

probably not but he's just your best friend so everything is fine! it's not like he'll ever act on his words... like i said, he's too nice to do that. plus! we all have that one super freaky friend! that... super freaky friend who constantly jokes about... watching you sleep and wanting to merge souls... yeah, the stuff he totally hasn't already done...

"best friend what would you do if i admitted to hiding in your closet while you slept?"

"erm..."

"you look really cute when you sleep, you know."

okay, maybe bro is lowkey kind of fucked up. so what? he's just the weird to your normal. it's fine. he beings drama to your life haha!

and as long as he doesn't commut any one of those heinous acts he constantly yaps and fantasizes about...

[scottiexmariee]

Social Media Headcanons

How I think the boys would be with various social media!

Masterlist

★ let's be real

★ Xav would follow you on everything.

★ he doesn't have an account? he's making one just to follow you and maybe Jeremiah if he's lucky

★ he would absolutely have your post notifications on too, would never admit that out loud though

★ don't worry he's definitely not checking to see who else likes your posts

★ interacts with 99% of your posts

★ would definitely attempt to post a "cute" candid pic of you, but in reality it's blurry as hell and completely mid

★ ^ "but I like that picture..."

★ I do think Xav would have a tiktok, but I think he'd be more of an observer than a poster

❄ aside from the Moments posts, I don't really see Zayne keeping up with a bunch of social media

❄ man is BUSY. I can't realistically imagine him doom scrolling through tiktok or twitter after a torturously long day at the hospital

❄ I REALLY feel like he would think tiktok is overstimulating or something

❄ but he would definitely sit with you like a good boy and watch some if you really wanted to show him something (bro is a closet softie, be fr)

❄ would definitely make occasional posts of you, like he does with the moment posts.

❄ probably dedicates his instagram to scenery pictures

❄ is definitely in your comments with his dry ass humor

♥ most definitely has every single type of social media

♥ twitter, instagram, tiktok, etc. all of it

♥ whether or not he runs the accounts? probably not most of them (ily Thomas)

♥ Raf is funny af, if you've seen the "sound was crisp 10/10" moment post you know what I'm talking about. I just know there'd be a GOLDMINE of similar posts on his personal twitter

♥ can totally see him being dramatic and sending you tiktoks of things he wants to do

♥ for exanple

♥ he sends you a video of a couple at the beach, holding hands and walking by the water

♥ after sending the tiktok, he'd say something like "must be nice"

♥ ^ "Rafayel do you want to go for a walk on the beach?"

♥ ^ "well, I was gunna work on a painting... buuut since you asked so nicely, be here in 10 cutie,"

♦ okay listen

♦ this man would be gassing you up in your instagram comments (personal hype man? oh yes, absolutely)

♦ man also has no problem showing you off, you're def getting posted. bro adores you. immediate hard launch, zero shits given

♦ sometimes he posts vague ass shit on moments that only you (and maybe the twins) would understand, so I definitely see that carrying over to other platforms

♦ imagine him cryptic posting on twitter

♦ ^ "the sky is a little darker than normal today" and he's literally just being petty because you forgot to send a good morning text

♦ as for tiktok, I can absolutely see you having to explain to him wtf a tiktok even is

♦ "Why not just post it on Moments? I don't understand why it needs a whole different platform."

♦ ^ he'd definitely make an account though, simply because you asked

♦ if he posts anything on tiktok at all, it would probably be him using an alloy ammo box as a grill or something (iykyk), or reposting things that you posted

BONUS: Luke & Kieran

-Let's be fr, Luke & Kieran would most definitely be shitposters

-They are funny as HELL

-Brainrot fyp on tiktok = Luke and Kieran

-Their social media would absolutely be chaos but I'm here for it

[radiance1]

Another link to this post. Meet the parents style.

So, Danny and Jason have been fake dating for a while now, and ended up marrying each other solely for tax benefits. Also, they got cool ass fucking friendship rings that they just couldn't not wear everywhere and being married is convenient so...

Anywho, so Jason has met Danny's parents but Danny hasn't met Jason's parents. Danny knows that he has some ties with the vigilantee scene due to being a Crime Lord-he still doesn't know what to think of his parents connecting the dots immediately when they only met him once while it took him more than that while living with the guy.

He thinks Jason may have been an ex-vigilantee at some point before turning to crime.

Then Danny gets blinded by rich people aura when he finds out that his bestfriend is the long thought dead child of Bruce Wayne. Frankly, he's insulted.

You mean to tell him that his could've been buying ice cream from that high class place all this time!? He shook (literally he grabbed and shook him) that point into Jason, he doesn't care that Jason never told him he was rich but he could've at least bought some high class ice cream once in a while.

Jason who was busy solidifying his power as a crime lord, avoiding his family and making sure not to leak his identity at all: I'm a literal crime lord, and the only thing you care about is me not buying you ice cream?

Danny: YES!!!!

Jason: Dork.

Right anyways, so Jason takes Danny along to meet Bruce and his fam but did say as soon as he started being uncomfortable they're leaving. The batfam is a bit blindsided by Danny, because they thought Jason was bringing his partner but its good to also get a feel for Danny's personality.

Danny and Jason did what's normal for them when Danny starts getting comfortable around the manor full of things that cost waaay more than his rent. Like half-heartedly insulting each other, being snarky, leaning on each other and other such things.

The batfam start thinking that there's more there than they know of. So they start watching a bit closer and ask a few round about questions that fly over Danny and Jason's heads. They just forget they're married often, unless it's regarding taxes.

All of this sends the wrong message when they walk into the same room and, being nosy, one of the batfam comes up to the door and uh. They hear the bed moving quite a lot.

So.

Meanwhile, Jason is trying to wrestle with Danny because this man does not pick a lane. He'll either be the human octopus (who is cold as hell) Jason has ever seen, he'll try to kick him off the bed in his sleep as if Jason personally offended him in some way, or he'll sleep in some wacky position that interrupts Jason's sleep. The last one is tied to the other two, however.

So, Jason has to frequently wrestle this man into a proper position where they both manage to get some sleep and it wouldn't have been so bad if Danny wasn't a goddamn sleep fighter. He would know, he had to nurse a bruised jaw for a few weeks.

Why do they sleep together? Listen, when you're in an apartment with not a lot of money, you gotta cut costs where you can alright?

[eggcats]

I'm only thinking this bc I just literally did this for my cats, but radioapple fic where Alastor is NOT a morning person.

Like even remotely. At all. (He stays up late for his radio broadcasts - you think he's out of bed before 10am unless he HAS to be? No.)

However. He's also the one who makes everyone their breakfast because he's the only competent chef at the hotel. (There's a reason before he showed up all Angel Dust ate was popsicles, Charlie is sweet but her attempts to cook could be considered lethal.)

So he drags his ass downstairs at like 6am to make everyone breakfast (and then utilizes his fire/shadows to keep the food warm for everyone to eat whenever they get up.) And then once he's done he goes back to bed for a few hours before eating his OWN breakfast. (A nice, tasteful raw venison, instead.)

But he absolutely doesn't bother getting even remotely dressed or even brushing his hair. Just big poofy and sleep mussed hair, rumpled pajamas, and he's yawning every few minutes. This man is half awake and is working on instinct at this point.

Lucifer had absolutely no idea about this until one day his insomnia gets the better of him, and he's also awake at 6am, and he hears someone in the kitchen, so he decides to explore.

And he doesn't even know how to react to soft fluffy Alastor calmly making everyone breakfast, seeing his cute little deer tail just casually out, his hair not even brushed, and wearing significantly less layers than normal.

(and if you really want to give him a heart attack, make Alastor not sleep in long full pajamas but instead just shorts and a slightly oversized t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder - make Lucifer come to terms with his long ass deer legs, his cute little hoofies, AND his collarbones. All at 6am.)

But to top it all off, Alastor is just too tired and half-asleep to even react to Lucifer showing up. All Alastor does is ask if he wants anything different for breakfast, coffee, or something. And Lucifer is too confused to do anything other than agree, and he's not sure how to handle the dude who, the day before, was at his throat calmly handing him a plate of breakfast and a coffee. What.

And then Alastor, in between yawns, is like I'm going back to bed. And just leaves.

"You're not eating any of this????!" - "Hah! No."

Lucifer is suspicious, so he discreetly follows Alastor back to his room, only to see him faceplant into his bed and fall back asleep. (That's kind of cute. Wait, what? No, it's not!)

(When he re-emerges at 11am, he's just as much of an asshole to Lucifer as he was the day before. 6am Alastor and 11am Alastor are two different people.)

Lucifer may decide to become a morning person just to keep seeing this version of Alastor. Who knows.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

could u pls write a fic about a plus sized reader noticing Spencer doesnt look at her alot so one morning she wears lingerie and a see through robe and she teases him until he just takes her on the couch?

༉‧₊˚. 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

— pairing: spencer reid x plus size!reader

— summary: listen, it wasn't that you didn't love the domestic life with spencer, but god, you just really missed being touched (and penelope has a solution).

— warnings: uhh this is almost 3k of pwp firstly, penelope being the best wingwoman to ever exist, lingerie, teasing, unprotected sex, couch sex, vaginal sex, sub!spencer reid, dom!reader, kind of switch spencer and reader at the end, riding, heavy petting, subspace if you squint, mentions of oral sex (m and f rec), the reader is lowkey a freak (and penelope instigates it), clothed sex, the reader is dressed and spencer isn't, i held myself back from including a mommy kink, but that's the best you're getting from me, a lack of foreplay (be considerate folks), consent kink, praise kink.

— wc: 2817

⋆ a/n: HEY SO i really let this get away from me in the sense of this was meant to kind of be dom!spencer but i blinked and all of a 2k was written of sub!spencer so yikes!! but i really enjoyed writing this, it's been literally forever since i've written pwp so... here ya go!! i'm trying to be more organized with uploading because i really want to clear out my drafts before starting any new projects.

masterlist | AO3

“Pen, have you ever seen those TikToks where it’s like ‘he has a whole woman in his bed yet he’s playing World of Warcraft’ or some shit like that?” You ask the phone that’s tucked under your chin.

You’re in the middle of putting up laundry, but a feeling of unrest bubbled beneath your skin.

Penelope laughs, “And let me guess, that’s how you feel right now?” 

You sigh, looking down at the shirt that refuses to turn inside out. You throw it back in the hamper with a huff before grabbing a pair of – Spencer’s – jeans.

“I just – I’m not with Spencer for just sex, you know that, but it’s been like… forever since I’ve gotten any.” You can’t even listen to yourself talk.

“We’ve been in this like… domestic bliss stage, and while I love waking up to breakfast in bed and giggly showers, I’m horny and every time he does something so normal – something that shouldn’t even be considered sexy – I have to hold myself back from jumping his bones.” 

Penelope lets out a rather unattractive chortle, but she continues. “Listen sister, while I love the Boy Genius as much as the next person, he’s kinda dense. With all those brains, he’s rather hard-headed when it comes to romance.”

“I know, I know, and those are one of the reasons why I love him! The denseness is cute, but I’m starting to think I sabotaged myself.” You look down longingly at the MIT t-shirt. Spencer was away at the office right now, so that means whatever conversation you were having with the colorful woman on the other end was completely inappropriate.

“You know what I think?” She starts. “Oh God.” You sigh fondly. “Oh, hush! Don’t even act like my ideas aren’t good! Anyway… If there’s one thing I’ve learned from being quite the seductress myself, is that at the end of the day a man is a man, and they can be reduced down to their most primal instincts.”

“What are you saying?” You inquire curiously with furrowed eyebrows. “I’m saying that you gotta work with what ya mama gave ya! Men are dumb, they see a tit or a nice ass and they lose all cognitive function. So what I’m saying is to put on some lingerie and act like a little minx! Guys love it when you tease them and act like you don’t know what you’re doing! It’s about the chase, my fellow curvaceous protege.”

“So you’re saying to… seduce him?”  

“That’s exactly what I’m saying – Oh! Good morning sir! Yes, sorry, I’ll call you back when I’ve got the answer to what you need… yes okay bye-bye!” And with that, you’re left listening to the silence. 

You laugh, shaking your head in exasperation before taking a seat on the bed.

Seduce him, huh? The notion almost seems ridiculous, but it really isn’t that far fetched. You’ve had sex with Spencer before, you know how his brain works, what gets him needy and what parts of you turn him on. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea.

You don’t really own any lingerie, because for one, the material that’s supposedly the back of your underwear gets swallowed by your ass, and two, Spencer’s never complained about your granny panties. But hey, it doesn’t hurt to look right?

Okay, seduce Spencer Reid is a go.

Taking one last scrutinizing look in the bathroom mirror, you leave quietly, walking into the kitchen and pouring yourself a glass of coffee. Liquid courage as they say.

The light pink sheer robe hangs off of your ample form, the fuzz on the edge of your sleeves getting in your way and irritating you. God, if this doesn’t work, a woman by the name of Penelope Garcia is going to find herself six feet underground.

Spencer sat on the couch slipping his feet into a pair of mismatched socks – you’ve stopped trying to organize them a while ago – tucking them into his converse. He’s off today, probably having plans with the bookstore and the park before offering to make the both of you dinner. It’s endearing to say the least, but food is not something you're hungry for.

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” You ask before taking a sip of your coffee. He hasn’t looked up, but you’re facing him now, your scantily clad body exposed by the thin satin of your white bra and underwear. A devil in disguise (you hope).

“Hmm, I was thinking about playing chess in the park for an hour or two before going to the bookstore. A new novel about quantum physics just came out, and even though it’ll probably be about stuff I already know, I’m always willing to look at it from a different perspec…” Spencer finally looked up, his sentence slurring a bit. “...tive.”

“Ah! That sounds exciting! I’ll text you what I want for dinner later if that’s okay? Or would you rather I go shopping with you?”

He blinks, his mouth hanging open intelligently, as though he’s still trying to process exactly what he’s seeing. “Yes. I mean no - I mean… I… what are you wearing?”

You spare a lazy look down, as though you had forgotten you even had the thing on.

“Oh this? It’s just really hot in the apartment today. So make sure you bring some sunscreen and a fan, yeah? Don’t want you getting a sunburn or having a heat stroke.”

“I - I’ve never seen that set before, is it new?” He stammers. You click your tongue as if you genuinely had to date the outfit back, when in reality the tags to the set itself sits pretty in the bathroom trash can. “I have no idea honestly, it looked comfortable though, so I just slipped it on. You don’t mind, right?”

“I… no. I don’t.”

You beam at him, “Perfect. Oh! Let me make you some coffee before you go, I know how hard it is for you to start your day without it.” 

You turn back around, and you could hear Spencer fruitlessly swallow a gasp. The back of your underwear might as well have been a piece of string, because your ass cheeks were basically eating the material. It was uncomfortable, but oh well, beauty is pain.

You smirk in victory, pulling out a medium sized thermos and pouring the rest of the liquid in it.

You didn’t hear him move, let alone walk behind you, but two large hands placed themselves respectively on your hips, the man tucking his face in the side of your neck. You shiver at the hot blow of air that escapes through his nose, and his grip on your skin turns a little tighter.

“What are you doing?” The question is mumbled, but you don’t miss it. “What does it look like? I’m making you coffee, silly.” He huffs. “No. I mean what are you doing to me?”

He presses forward, pushing his half hard cock between your cheeks. It was your turn to gasp, and you couldn’t help but put down the pot of coffee, pushing the now full thermos away to avoid any future hazards. 

You hold on to the edge of the counter, tilting your head further to the side to give the needy man more access. He takes the hint, peppering sweet, heated kisses on the sensitive skin of your throat. You shiver once more, sighing out a smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You know lying is useless, especially with the way your voice sounded so breathless. “You know you’re a terrible liar.” It was a playful dig, and his palms had begun to move, pushing on your full stomach to put more of your weight on him.

“Hm, but you don’t know every single thing I have in the closet, now do you?” You remark, yelping when he nipped at your earlobe. “Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong and you know it.” You do. “Do I?”

“This is terrible foreplay.” He jokes and you giggle. “I’d say I’m doing a pretty good job, don’t you think?” You push your hips back and add a bit of friction onto his cock. He groans and you feel your pussy pulse.

“You always do a good job.” Spencer murmurs.

You’re turned around so you can face him, and you wish you could take a picture to savor the look on his face. He’s beet red, cheeks and ears flushed a beautiful hue that leaves a twinge of pride pooling in your stomach.

He cups your face, drawing you in for a long awaited kiss. 

You sigh into him, hands twisting at the sleeves of his cardigan to pull him closer. He lets you in exchange of pushing you against the counter until your lower back is digging uncomfortably into the marble.

“Where do you wanna go?” He finally breathes. You stare at him as if you were in a daze before processing his question with a blink. “Couch?” You ask. “Whatever you want.” He says before joining your lips together once more.

He walks the both of you backwards slowly, and he takes advantage of when your mouth parts in a moan as he flicks his tongue against the top of your lip. He tastes like toothpaste and you might be a little crazy to think that it makes him way sexier than it should.

Your eyes flutter open and you push him away with hands on his chest gently.

“Do you trust me?” You gasp.

“Of course.”

“Good.” You say with a smirk.

You make sure he’s close enough to the edge of the couch when you push him on it, quickly clambering onto his lap and settling your hands on his shoulders; his fall naturally to your waist and you grin.

“Hi.” You whisper quietly. “Hey.” He responds back just as hushed. “You can grab my ass, you know.” You tease and his eyes widen just slightly. “I…” You guide his palms to hold the meat of your ass and he grips.

“God.” It tumbles from his lips in a whimper and you fucking melt. 

“Sorry I’ve been such a tease today, Spencie.” You say sweetly with a fake pout. “I just needed you so bad and you’ve been so, so sweet to me, my sweet boy. I didn’t want to ruin it by asking you to fuck me stupid.”

“You wouldn’t have ruined it.” He corrects with a whine. You had begun to grind down on him and he gripped you tightly, helping you rut against him. “No?” You question. He shakes his head quickly, his hair bouncing along with the swings.

“No. ‘Would’ve done anything you asked.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“So, if I asked you to let me suck your dick until I’ve sucked the soul out of you, would you have let me? How about if I asked you to eat my pussy for breakfast, huh? Would you have done it?”

“Yes, yes, God yes! I want to… I wanna do all those things so badly.” He groans, all but pawing at you now. 

“I bet you do,” You coo. “I guess I haven’t been the only one pent up. But that’s okay, because I’ve got you, yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

You smile, leaning in to give him a kiss before traveling downwards to his belt and wrangling it open. You popped open the buttons of his jeans, sliding back so you can tug them down his legs. 

“Up.” You command softly and he obliges. 

You’re faced with his hardened cock bulging from under his black underwear.

“Oh… is this for me?” You know you’re being mean when you drag your fingertips over the spot where precum has begun to pool, only putting slight pressure on it just to hear that sweet sound of his breath hitching.

“Yes – it’s all for you.” Spencer whines and throws his head back against the couch. “All for me? My goodness…” You trail off as you drag his underwear down his thighs. His cock springs up and bobbles against his clothed stomach.

“Can I –” He licks his lips, “Can I take my shirt off?”

“Of course, my love.” You were just about to ask him anyway.

As he rids himself of his top you get up for a split second to take his pants and underwear off fully. As you go to undress yourself, he stops you.

“W— wait… keep it on please.” 

“Oh? You wanna be nasty and pull my panties to the side, huh? Dirty dirty boy.” You tisk, but in reality you feel like you’re about to explode. “Is that okay?” You smile at his question. “More than okay.”

You climb back on top of him, doing exactly what you said and pulling the white satin to the side before gripping his dick, lining it up to your entrance. He holds you steady looking up at you with those big brown puppy dog eyes as you sink down.

The stretch stings because of the lack of foreplay, but you can’t find it within yourself to care as the pain shoots up your lower back and is already fraying at your pleasure filled nerves. 

“So… so good. God.” Spencer chokes. 

Your lips are rolled between your teeth, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You heave out a breath when he sinks down to the hilt, and he just rubs soothing circles on your hips. The feeling helps to guide you as you loosen up, and when you do, you give him an experimental clench.

He groans of course and you smirk lazily.

“‘Gonna ride you now, ‘kay?” You murmur as you lift your hips up before slamming down. Spencer practically shouts when he re-enters you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He’s a whimpering, cursing mess. “That feels good, baby?” You ask as you bounce. Spencer nods and fondness twists in your chest.

“You’re so tight. I think ‘m gonna pass out.” He says dramatically. You laugh, grabbing his hands and slipping them under your bra so they can cover your breasts. “Well, don’t pass out until we’ve cum, alright?”

He gives your breasts a reassuring squeeze. “Of course.” He huffs and you giggle again. The giggles die out though when you shift and his tip prods just right.

“Oh shit.” You curse but remain in the same place.

You ride him in abandon, the sound of skin meeting skin radiating out into the early morning air of the apartment. The sound is nasty and wet and it causes your head to swim. The buzz of mind numbing pleasure swims around in your gut, and you can almost grasp it.

“Spence I – I need more, can you…?” You moan out, your head tilting back. “Yeah, yeah, I got you, sweetheart.”

One hand leaves to rub furiously at your clit and your hips cant forward, sending you landing on his naked, sweat slicked chest. Your thighs burn and you rest for a moment, but Spencer doesn’t seem to match the same sentiment, because the other hand holds you by your hip in a grip that’s almost bruising. 

The fat is spilling through his fingers but he uses it as leverage as he now fucks up into you. You squeal, throwing your arms around his neck and tucking his face into yours. You mark him mindlessly, body trembling as you near your orgasm.

You can feel him twitch inside of you when he sets a pace, bringing you up and down in a way that indicates he’s nearing an end of his own.

“Together, okay?” You cry out, “‘Wanna cum together.”

“Okay, honey, okay.” 

He sets his feet on the floor and rubs harder at your sensitive bud, and the arousal that implodes inside of you is so blinding that you white out for a minute. Every one of your senses are overwhelmed, and you can hear him mewling into your ear before warmth paints your womb.

It’s silent in the apartment for a moment before you speak.

“I have to tell you a secret.” You whisper mindlessly, laying your cheek on a bony shoulder. “And what’s that?” He runs his fingers up and down your spine.

“This set is new.”

“I know honey, I saw the charge on my card.”

“What?!” You exclaim, pulling away from his body to search his hazy eyes with your wide ones.

“You forget I can see the bank statements.” Spencer says with a smile. “No, no. I – I didn’t mean to use your card.”

“You didn’t have to… I may have uh… may have slipped one into your wallet when you weren’t looking.” He admits sheepishly. You stare at a moment and then smile incredulously. “Did you… secretly sugar daddy me?”

“Oh God, please don’t call it that.” He says with a groan, leaning forward to bury his face in your chest.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever sugar daddy.” You tease, running your fingers through his sweaty locks.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader

F1IQ - Part Two

Y/n: You have issues Charles: Omg you noticed🥹❤️

Max: How tall are you? Yuki: Extremely. Thank you for asking

Lando, apologizing: . . .—-. - / … —.-. .-. -.- Y/n: What’s that? Lando: remorse code Y/n: I’m even angrier now

Lance: So girl what that mouth do Y/n: complain

Christian: Nice ass, sorry about the mental illness Toto: Thank you king

Y/n in drive to survive: If you’re ever losing an argument hit them with the “you just want me.” Max: I’m just saying you are in the wrong and you are yet still stubborn Y/n: you just want me Max: I do and now i need you to listen to me

Carlos: *wearing a turtle neck* Y/n: I heard in the internet that men who wear turtle neck are most likely to be a whore.

Y/n: Wtf people actually tell their crushes they like them???? Fernando: What the hell do you do? Y/n: i die? Lmao what kinda question…

Lewis: Bro. I am on my way

Lewis: Sorry for calling you bro you are my girlfriend and i love you

Y/n: I love you too brah

Daniel comforting max: Always here for you bro 🌹🌹🌹

Daniel: Those were flowers btw

Daniel: For our bromance

Y/n: Anyways see you in court

Lance: I get to see youu😍

Oscar: You're a reoccurring guest in my sleep

Y/n: are you in love with me

Oscar: i just see you when i sleep often

Y/n: because you are in love with me

Y/n: i am not normal about this man

Sebastian: You are not normal in general

Y/n: I need a relationship advice

Kimi: break up

Y/n: listen to me first

Y/n: You know you can open up to me anytime

Charles: Okay fine

Charles: Idrk how to explain it it's just i wish i was dead *Y/n liked this message*

Charles: Why the fuck did you like the message

Sebastian: Dinner is ready. Come down and eat.

Sebastian: bring down your lady friend

Y/n: ?? It's my friend charles. He's a boy

Sebastian: Gay. Christian thought it was a chick.

Y/n: well he has pretty face

Sebastian: Gay

Sebastian: Both of you come eat.

Lando: You heard a joke about gas lighter?

Carlos: no

Landos: yes you have

Carlos: No i haven't

Lando: You've literally heard it already

Carlos: I DONT KNOW

Lando: You're crazy

Y/n in drive to survive: Playing among us with a gay is really hard

Charles: Give me the code bitch

Y/n: Waitt

Y/n: SKSJHK

George: Omg what happened

Y/n: BITCH THAT'S THE CODE

Logan: You are really cute

Y/n: Thank youu, you too

Logan: So what do you like?

Y/n: murder

Y/n: Wait you like me??

Y/n: for my personality??

Yuki: i know I'm surprised too

Oscar: You are so annoying

Y/n: But you like me

Oscar: Doesn't make you less annoying

Y/n: So can we talk?

Lando: talk about what?

Y/n: about us

Lando: Why would you want to talk about United State

Lewis: that's it?

Lewis: You done bitching?

Y/n: That was just a warm up

George: THERE IS SO MANY SNACKS IN HERE

Y/n: WHAT SNACK

George: Like hot guys

George: NOT FOOD YOU FAT FUCK

Lance: How come you are abnormally nice to me lately

Y/n: what do you mean

Lance: You seem nicer than usual

Y/n: I'll punch you in the face if you want

Logan: What's up?

Y/n: about to have mental breakdown hbu?

Logan: in the middle of mental break down

Y/n: Why do we fight over stupid shit

Max: cause you say stupid shit

Y/n: baby are you flirting with me?

Logan: yes I'm trying

Logan: i dont even have an idea on what am i doing

[tiktaalic]

s1 dean: it's not gay to suck a dick or three or ten you're just making sure you're not gay

s2 dean: getting notes from my team that sometimes it is gay to suck a dick . i would like to formally announce that i never did that. and i never would.and also i'm masc. i'm masc. i'm literally masc.

s3 dean: too busy with dying to think about being gay i'm pretty sure.

s4 dean: really enjoying that cas is unaware of social norms so that dean can oscillate between preening when he teaches him how to be a man (+1 masculinity for being more of a man than cas +1 masculinity for being so much of a man that you can teach others how to do it) and. taking advantage of the no social norms thing to rationalize his OWN behavior with cas because he knows cas isn't going to call him on it not being normal which MAKES it normal because there is no one to refute that.

s5 dean: much of the same but there are now emotional stakes in play because they Are friends he is now Emotionally attached in a real way to this man he was engaging in one way gay chicken with.

s6 dean: mfw my brother tells me to be normal so i marry a woman. ratchets him all the way back to i have never liked a man and i never will.

s7 dean: very similar emotionally to endverse dean / s14 dean in my mind. kind of in the same place as s6 dean but crucially s6 dean was sad and wet and s7 dean is walled off and apathetic. attraction to men does not factor into his worldview.

s8 dean: he literally was in a foxhole with benny and got a spraytan and had a gay thing. this man begrudgingly puts one (1) rainbow ornament on his christmas tree after sending out christmas cards of him embracing another man while their gay ass dog sits at their feet. the sticking point HERE is "cas doesn't feel stuff like that".

s9 dean: We Cannot Get Into All That but. they literallyyyyyyyyy had to make cas sleep with a woman and get banished forever to sidestep The Implications. which are. dean winchester would fuck the gay angel given the FIRST opportunity. i'd probably fuck cas but my brother is dying so idrc about that rn. etc. this is a man who is conscious of his attraction to 1) men and 2) cas and WOULD act on it given the chance.

s10 dean: this is where it gets love triangle-y with crowley and cas. this is because dean DID fuck crowley and WANTS to fuck cas. textually. this is where he stands. moc dean has sex with men and doesnt care because hes normal. POST moc dean is like. the same sex attraction was a metaphor to show that i was evil and corrupted by the mark.

s11 dean: i'll be honest. i remember fuck all about season 11.

s12 dean: his mom is around which means he will not be out. this is also. iirc? where dabb gets his grubby little showrunning hands on things. which of course. means dabbification. which of COURSE. means destiel eating plain toast and raising a baby domestically. which. of course. translates to dean using cas as a girlfriend stand in. which. imo. is reflected in dean's mindset. like s12 dean is aware that cas is the most important person in his life, and he is not interested in deviating from that formula with a woman at all.

s13 dean: gay man realizing the love of his life is dead and he never said or did anything -> gay man whose love of his life comes back so he doesnt have to grapple with the consequences of never saying anything and they can jump back into pseudo relationship.

s14 dean: this is a gay man coparenting with a gay man and telling his father that he has a family. has accepted his fate as a life long ambiguous bachelor who lives with a man and sometimes sleeps in his bed nonsexually. very much dead inside staring down the barrel of throwing himself on a grenade does not have Time to push the boundaries of his relationship.

s15 dean: too many twists and turns to get into in the stinger of a post.

[obito-in-disguise]

You know the trend ‘you might think im crazy.’ And then the girlfriend fake pounces at their partner can you do that with the hashira?? 😂😂

Not gonna lie, I had to look this one up pimp 😔I need to go back to being on tiktok 12 hours of the day, no more productive hobbies✊🏼no more productive hobbies✊🏼

Let's get right into it!

| You might think I'm crazy trend with the hashiras |

Featuring; Shinazugawa Sanemi, Tomioka Giyuu, Iguro Obanai, Uzui Tengen, Gyomei Himejima, and Kyojuro Rengoku.

Shinazugawa Sanemi

Sanemi would get startled and smack you. The whole thing would blow up into a huge fight, not physical of course.

"It was a reflex, what were you expecting!"

"For you not to Floyd Mayweather my ass like a normal person!"

"I'm sorry!"

He would end up having to cuddle you throughout the rest of the evening as an apology. Holding ice to the spot where he smacked with a bit of guilt.

"No more stupid pranks ok?"

Tomioka Giyuu

Giyuu would full on flinch. Arms waving around and trying to protect his face simultaneously, eyes squeezed shut.

Afterwards you would both stare at each other with wide eyes, the room in complete silence.

His expression would slowly morph into one of anger, his usual scowl more intense, his ears flushed with embarrassment. He can't believe he let his guard down around you and this is what he gets, he makes a mental note to give you the silent treatment for the next hour as punishment.

"Oh my gosh yuu, I'm so s-"

"Delete that, now."

Iguro Obanai

Obanai 🤝🏼Giyuu 🤝🏼Flinching

Obanai would jerk back, eyes wide, clutching his pearls. He looks at you in amazement as you basically die of laughter, collapsing to the floor.

He wasn't necessarily scared but definitely worried for your sanity.

"...You are crazy"

"Omg you should've seen your face!"

Uzui Tengen

He would just grin and grab your hands. No flinching in sight whatsoever.

"boo you're no fun..."

"Yeah it's so lame that i don't flinch when you pretend to hit me. You must be the worst..."

Gyomei Himejima

Gyomei quite literally wouldn't see you coming. He'd just sit there, innocently waiting for you to do whatever you said you needed him for.

You feel terrible, setting your baby up for something like that, so you'd shut the whole thing down and give him a hug.

"What's wrong flower..."

"I'm sorry Gyo, I was gonna hit you..."

"what..."

Kyojuro Rengoku

He would just smile and tilt his head in confusion, no flinch in sight, not even a blink.

yeesh

You'd shiver a little, your man was a little unsettling.

"That's creepy Kyo..."

He'd just laugh loudly "I like this game! let's go again"

Brb, on my way to kidnap Gyomei and keep him in my pocket forever.

Enjoyed the story? check out more of my other Demon slayer fics and more stories! Requests are open! and don't forget to like, reblog or leave a comment pookie♡

[im-yn-suckers]

waking enhypen up by kissing them in the middle of the night

not the long ass title

pairing- enhypen ot7 (separate) x gf reader

warnings- kissing, cuddling, poor jungwon just wants to sleep, heeseung himself (fluffily [?] sitting on his lap). swearing lmk what i missed

really short because it was almost midnight where i live

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｈｅｅｓｅｕｎｇ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

he rubs his eyes and just honestly stares at you while you do whatever you want.

''y/n~ why'd u wake me up"

"because i just wanted a kiss"

he sat up and checked his phone.

1:34 am

he gave you your kiss

he leaned back against the headboard and pulled you onto his lap to hold you and peck your scalp lightly

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｊａｙ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

"baby, are you okay"

he's genuinely worried about you because this wasn't normal

"yeah, i just wanted a kiss"

he pulls you to his chest and kisses you. he holds it there for a few seconds and then pulls away only to peck you lips again

its literally 12:30 am right now and hes legit shocked

like, why are you interrupting hid beauty sleep?

he holds you to his chest and keeps you in his warm strong arms all night

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｊａｋｅ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

god- dont get me started

it is 2 am and when e sees you kissing his face

hes blushing. like crazy. im serious. its adorable

hes just staring at you with his puppy eyes and just smiles uncontrollably.

"what are you doing to me"

"i'm just kissing you, but since you wanted to be a bitch, i'm going to sleep"

''no baby!! come back!!! i liked it!!''

yeah, he's not going to let you go back to sleep

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｓｕｎｇｈｏｏｎ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

dont do it in the first place

that honestly depends on his mood

its was only 11:30 so it wasn't that late. i mean, for a person who is an old soul living in a mans body that is way too late to be awake

if he was in a bad mood, he wouldn't get mad but he wouldn't be exactly happy

"y/n, it's eleven thirty, why are you still awake?"

"i just wanted to kiss you"

"kiss me tomorrow

if he were in a good mood, he'd let you do whatever you want

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｓｕｎｏｏ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

don't try and convince me that this baby isn't going to kiss you back

like, he wakes up and sees your beautiful face at two in thr fucking morning, kissing him.

wow, what did he do to deserve you

"baby, i love you and all but, why are you awake? its 2 am"

"i just wanted to kiss you"

hes going to kiss you

let him, he will kiss you nose, cheeks, forehead, chin, lips, any exposed skin from your shoulders up he will at least peck

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｊｕｎｇｗｏｎ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

#justice for jungwon

its 3 am

he'd just groan and once you got the hint that he was exhausted you'd stop

only for him to bring you to his chest and out his nose in the crook of your neck

obv he likes it but hes the leader. he has 6 kids to feed, send to school, put clothes on their back, he cleans their rooms, he pays for them, hes their dad

#justice for jungwon pt2

︵‿︵‿୨♡ ｎｉｋｉ ♡୧‿︵‿︵

ok, he'd do the exact same as heeseung.

change my mind. i dare you

"whats up with you? its 4 am"

"damn, okay, i was trying to show you my love and shower you with affection and show you how much i love you and-"

you were cut off by his beautiful pink plump lips on yours

he smiled mid kiss and forced you head onto his chest (nicely)

just lay on top of him and he's happy, sleep touching him, even holding hands while sleeping.

his fluffy hair occasionally tickling you neck because did i mention that he would kiss the part where your shoulder and neck connected?

i dont think so

kiss him

an: j dhgkusdhgliua hdo im so tired