#I'M GONNA CRY I'M SO HAPPY RN
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BABY PUKEI WAS SPOTTED IN MHWILDS TRAILER AND I COULDN'T SPOT MYSELF EVEN THO IT MESSY IT BABY PUKEI
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#monster hunter#monster hunter wilds#pukei pukei#baby monster#I LOVE MONSTER HUNTER SO MUCH YALL#THIS WILDS TRAILER FED ME EVERYTHING#AND THEN I SAW FOLKS FOUND BABY PUKEI#I'M GONNA CRY I'M SO HAPPY RN#art#the shark's art
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I'M GONNA START BAWLING MY EYES OUT
image desc under cut
two screenshots from deviantart notifications. first reads "added Baja (fake) sticker page to their Collection perfects art styles." and the second reads "added Baja (fake) sticker page to their Collection super cute :3." the username is cut out in the screenshot.
#it feels weird when people enjoy your art#like#it's not even their character they just saw some random silly guy posted online and went “hell yeah” and EXPRESSED IT#i'm gonna cry i'm so happy rn#positivity#positive rant#text post#technically not a text post but the images are of text too so it counts for me
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personal growth is crazy because it seems like nothing has changed until you're crying because you don't want to die. you learn something about yourself that ten years ago would have actually killed you, and now you're thinking about what you can do to heal and make peace with it. nothing may have changed to you, but to the person you were however long ago, you are the "it gets better"
#guy who's very proud of how well he's handling things rn lol#anyways personal time:#but idk man i kinda remembered smthn from my past n#like. if it wasn't for how much effort i've put into my mental health n coping skills#n my support network now#idk id be in a much worse place.#so i'm gonna forgive myself for not really sleeping last night#n having a hard time with my bpd feelings n emotions#because fuck man! i'm doin really good actually!#growth doesn't have to be oh man i'm never ever sad anymore#it's just. idk i don't cry because i Wanna die anymore#sometimes i have an intrusive thought of suicide#and it makes me cry because i DONT wanna die. and i know those thoughts are not good or needed#but i'm not gonna beat myself up for having them. i'm just gonna be patient n gentle w myself#n give myself time#n everything will be okay(:#bc it is okay! it's in the past and i'm safe now. and i wanna make other people feel safe too#growth starts w baby steps. n that's why it's so hard to recognize in yourself a lot of the time#it goes slooooooowly. for me at least lol.#mine#despite everything i am happy because i know my life now is one i love (: and one im actively trying to better for myself
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Anyway on another note I cannot explain to you just how Severely disappointed I will be if bnha ends with a confession ending. I hate confession endings outside of romance manga 😀
+big ass rant in the tags
#they do NOT need that rn#this isn't even about me mainly shipping either of them with other characters like i LIKE izch it's just that they need COUNSELING#I hateeeee “getting together makes everything better” endings they need a friend they need a shoulder to cry on they do NOT need romance#if I was in their situation I would not be able to dedicate myself to a relationship#Girl saves my life and then dies right next to me giving me all of her blood#Childhood friend dies comes back to life and then I lose all of the powers that I didn't even originally have and it still feels like#I'm responsible for saving everyone and having the world on my shoulders#like. dude#at least leave it open ended if there's a confession#bnha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha#Erased spoilers. surprise. I was so happy when Kayo and Satoru didn't get together at the end. That's how much I hate romance endings.#If the romance felt like a subplot it would've been fine but romance has never even felt like that in bnha#Like if it was supposed to be obvious then I guess I'm stupid#subplots are still significant parts of the plot there has to be a good amount of time dedicated to a romance if you're gonna go with#a confession ending PLEASE#THE MAIN PROBLEM WITH CONFESSION AND MARRIAGE ENDINGS IN NON-ROMANCE MANGA IS THAT THEY ARE ALMOST NEVER DONE WELL#tag rant
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We won but at what cost
Real talk though: How did the other deathdrives know who Bravern was if he only just came into existence while falling out of the sky? I'm assuming he got all his knowledge from Knuth but how did they know about him?
#I'm so happy but so sad rn 😭#He became the blue hero in the end 😭😭#Bang Brave Bang Bravern#They somehow did a Pink Diamond reveal that was even gayer#And is his name actually 'Brave Bang' because if it is I'm gonna fucking cry ok
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DON'T TOUCH ME
#noragami spoilers#IM GONNA FICKGING CRY#MY BOYS 😭😭😭#YATO CALLED SEKKI OMFG#i'm so happy rn#GO FCK HIM UP BOYS#noragami#yato#yukine#noragami 105.2
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Girl help people are being so so nice and encouraging to me about my passion project again
#gonna cry the happiest tears tbh#that's hyperbole but i'm so happy rn all the same like i feel so good about writing forward knowing people are looking forward to it#my ramblings
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Reading Emily's saga from HTM to Necrosis (plus Instinct and finishing with Shades of Blue) to @bowersbubbles has been a very rewarding experience, getting real time feedback while I make her laugh, lose her shit, and cry while I swallow mucus by the mouthful since my nose has Issues.
Apologies to my much beloved roommate for having to vaguely hear me reading out loud into the 1 or even 2 AM.
#i really do care about Emily so much#she means the world to me and has helped me through the past couple of years#she's a little psychopath but she's MY little psychopath#i really can't wait for season 5 of stranger things so I can see how her story 'canonically' ends#but at the same time i'm terrified because it's more than likely that she might not get a happy ending#if henry dies i'm gonna be crying for both of them#but i created a scenario where she gets to live for thousands of years with people who love her#so i'll take it#and hey i'm the all powerful creation goddess who can do whatever I want#even if she has to die i'll write fics where she doesn't#aaaaand maybe some fics where she and henry win in the end#sorry i'm rly emotional rn finishing with shades of blue was a bad decision lol#i'm also a bit sick feeling since I absolutely swallowed a lot of mucus#also my right cheek is tingly for some reason#tl;dr emily ripley you will always be famous#fishgills speaks#fishgills ocs#beloved mutuals#stranger things oc#twilight oc
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I've never heard of emts working only at events? What's that like for you if you don't mind my asking?
Yeah, there are ambulance companies that staff certain events, but there's some event specific companies out there lmao. For me specifically, it's almost entirely college events, whether it's happening on a campus or not. It's not great, usually pretty boring, but it's better than being on an ambulance or in a hospital. We do get actual emergencies sometimes, but usually it's just getting drunk people to the tent or giving out water and bandaids lmao. Again, boring as fuck, but I chose this over working on a 911 rig, so that's on me 😔 if I'm being so real tho, other than my coworkers, the best part of the job is the food lmaoooo it's so good and all the food trucks/food booths give discounts or free food to us depending on the location and event. And there's almost always a ton of downtime, so I basically just get paid to sit there and vibe for the most part
#not snz#when i say i love my job i mean i love very specific parts of it lmao#idk if I've said it here before or not and this is gonna sound so bad coming from someone working in healthcare#but i don't like patients lmao#i love the book stuff and i love everything in theory and i know how everything works and I'm very enthusiastic about it#but man do i not like patients ahskaksk#there are exceptions obviously but those are few and far between#it's why i love being an emt at my fire station bc we don't reslond to medical calls#like I've done medical calls there for the public but very rarely bc people either approach us or we stumble upon them#so i really only do my emt things on the people i know and i love that#i love my coworkers so I'm always happy to make sure they're okay and help them out when they're not#but i feel nothing for the public and i didn't realize i genuinely couldn't care less about them until i started doing my clinicals#it's just awkward and I'm not invested in them i just like figuring out what's wrong with them and interact with them as little as possible#again there are exceptions and i do like some of the patients but generally I'm just trying to hand them off asap#so yeah i do like working events bc the alternative is being confined to a tiny box or trapped in a hospital#i like being outside and being able to walk around the place and do things if i want to#and obviously i adore my partner#and even on the rare occasions i work with someone else all day i love my other coworkers too#and i mean yeah this might be more boring than working on an emergency rig However#it pays so much better#like why do y'all think my medic partner works there lmao he's actually good with patients and prefers the ambulance#but the pay in the field is shit so he gets paid way more working events than he would at the three letter company#insane actually that he makes over ten dollars more an hour working chill events than he would being overworked on a rig#anyway i digress#I'm looking into pathology assistant school rn bc there's like no patient interaction there but i still get to be nosy#so that's perfect for me lmao#everyone keeps saying i missed my calling as a vet tho like i don't cry when a dog dies in a movie lmao i wouldn't survive#working with animals would be amazing but the only thing that really gets you money is being a vet#so that can be a hobby
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#plus I'm off my psych meds so the mania hits like a motherfuckin truck#my brother is out of the house rn so I get to pump my music loud which is great cause it's so much better through his speakers#and I'm making a grilled cheese sandwich so my life is pretty much perfect#and I'm L not R so I'm happy being alone with myself like this#not bogged down with her excessively social needs. I can just bop on my own#danced a lil too hard and now I'm slightly sweaty#also I accidentally burnt one side of my grilled cheese rip my soul I'm gonna cry#this would be the perfect mood to dump my boyfriend if I didn't know better than to make decisions when I'm manic#anyway. life is good rn. sure I'll be depressed again in a week or two but for now I'm living it up
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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!
#it won't be honestly#I do not think I will ever actually get to have that#I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing#so no one really wants anything real with me#especially JUST with me#and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh#and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1#but i still yearn for it#it's still an emotional need#and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met#it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met#but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness#some of us just don't get to be loved#some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us#i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay#I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog#(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn#and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it#but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can#like. even do#but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone#like emotionally or romantically or sexually#because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change#and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough#so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh#im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life
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Me when I find a cool ass AU and think it's just wholesome fun.
Finds out there's proshipping in it.
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God damnit dude.
#Hrrmdnjshshdhhdhs#not happy at all rn#like seriously when I found this AU I was like “HOLY SHIT!! BRO THIS IS SO FUCKIN COOL!!”#And then...#then that THING reared it's ugly ass head and I am just.#sobs#Btw the Au I found is called Malltale.#the whole idea of the AU seems so fuckin fun man!! like- the AUs being all set in a mall w/everyone in early 2000s outfits and stuff just-#IT SEEMED SO FUCKIN COOL AND TBEN#THEN THAT!!!#WABSKDNXKSNXKCNSKHSJD#I'm gonna go cry in the corner now.
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I'm so crazy right now, someone help me
#(☆) 。.゚— Victor Grantz#(♡) 。.゚— eli clark#LOOK AT MY BROTHER HE IS SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM LOOK LOOK#PATS HIS HEAD WIWIIWIWW#qnd and and#eli. eli uhm he. he was so sweet with Victor when he arrives to the manor...#everytime someone is new to the manor he is always the first one to look out for them no matter what#trying to make everyone feel comfortable and listen to them...#aough he is so sweet#eli is so nice and handsome I'm gonna die soon#but seeing him and Victor together it just AOIUGJHHGHGHHG#I'M CRYING SO HARD I'M CRYING SO HARD RN#Victor is so nervous around new people and just introvert in general#imagine Eli being so nice to him and then he tells Valentine about this guy who was nice to him ough#or Valentine telling Vic about Eli and he is just calm because he knows Eli is a cool guy#I THINK VIC IS LIKE. TOO SHY TO TALK TO HIM BUT STILL THINKS HE IS COOL AND HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TALK TO HIM HE JUST#I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN#maybe he would like to be close to him and be friends but he is too shy wiwiwi#valentine going to him with Eli like LOOK LOOK THIS IS MY BROTHER#AND MAKES THEM SHAKE HANDS#and Victor looks at Valentine like mmm mhmmmm 👀 he already knows man#maybe the first months Valentine talked about Eli he didn't pay much attention to it but he was happy he had a friend#also because outside the manor#even when Valentine is so kind to everyone and extrovert. he didn't any real friends since he was focused on college#(when he was in college) and then always busy at the train station#I have so many things in my mind oughh#I love how Eli looks when he smiles#ALSO. LOOK AT ANDY AND VIC AOUGHHH#I ALREADY REACH THE LIMIT DOR TAGS HELOME#🕳️ // blah blah
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GUESS WHO JUST MADE HIS FIRST HRT APPOINTMENT!!!!
#IT'S IN JUNE AND I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW#I'LL BE ABLE TO GO ON T THIS YEAR !!!!!#if everything works out obviously but i'm really optimistic#and the doctors i got recommended by my therapist are apparently really good and usually don't need more than one appointment to agree#so like !!!#i think as far as i know this is like the first appointment which i mainly made to calm my parents#and he's not allowed to actually prescribe me T but can then give me a proper recommendation to someone who can#now i could have gone to someone who could immediately prescribe it to me but yk i do wanna go the safe route#and while i am super excited about taking T it's not like an emergency situation yk?#it's fine for me to wait a bit especially since i'm currently stressed because of exams anyways#but yeah!!!! i did it! i made an appointment!!! i am incredibly happy rn!!!!#charlie rambles#i'm gonna go and cry tears of joy now :')
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ok very interesting quest in hsr
#theyre getting better at this writing shit#hsr spoilers#tho i think dh and jy was still kinda random lol i guess it made sense since it was a dream(?)...#i haven't seen enough people crying abt misha but to me. its sadge we can't see him on the train anymore :( but he got#his wish.... he talks abt always wanting to go on the express and traveling and he did it.... he made it!! so im happy for him :')#aven pisses me off lowkey ipc hater group. whatever tho#i like where they went w robin so now i'll just wait for sunday#also the boss design is so nice and cool and very reminscent of ena but fuck the gameplay oh my god i hated fighting sundays mecha body#so much .... i swear if robin's gonna need those materials i'll just be like . 🧍♀️#much to think about though. at the same time i actually have no idea what happened and need to read a plot summary#hsr#they also need to stop putting elements that i don't have built like genuinely besides gui.naifen and hime.ko i have 0 fire chars#and id rather not use ms train navigator bc she doesn't seem good against bosses#robin and sunday are intriguing and so is boothill.... neutral on fire.fly but i guess she's alright at least she improved from getting#murdered for shock value in 2.0#ramblings!#oh one more thing sunday apologist i dont think what he did was necessarily right i just want to chew on him like a toy#hoyo loves their characters falling out of giant robots#chicken wing boy pls be playable i'll pull he's so funky a bit in over his head but we love a biblical coded guy w savior complex#oops edit: also wtf is the state of the family rn we kinda just fought sunday fought sunday again for real this time and then he fell#and penacony went back to reality??? or what? maybe i'm not comprehending or maybe there's another part to this???????
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I've just realized the plot of My Reason To Die and I'm fucking sobbing tears.
(actual footage of me rn)
#magg thots vol. ii#my reason to die#why tf did i get so attached???#hello I don't wanna cry over two fictional characters and their fucking story#but the plot is so fucking good#author i hate you but love you at the same time#fuck#cha gyeol bro you didn't do all of that for her I'm crying rn 😭#if they don't get a happy ending I'm gonna kms
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