heeeeello party people!~ super bacteria uncle nina here using my silly tumblr to cope again ( my culture came back and it was...suuuuper fucking bad! like i knew it would be, lol! awesome! <3 thanks, god! )
but we're not thinking about, what were gonna think about is the time that ravenstan got a little Too tipsy topsy turvy on jerseyky boxwine,
( it's the cab sav one, fyi. i can't drink on all these Fucknut Antibiotics - they prescribed me the wrong one and i took it, if you can believe it; i luv doctors - can y'all believe i did this shit Sober? unREAL, brohs! )
and was on tiktok live, the dawn spawns of the world convinced him to do the 'White Boy Of The Month' filter bc he's too impressionable and what can i say;
The Man LOVES White Boys. ;) xxx
( helpsksdj )
so, he started doing it and was like 'nooooo, is /KYLE/ on this one?!?! You're Joking.' ( everyone said 'JK <3' because they all think they're jimmy valmer stand-up sit-down comedians, smh...but no, naught joking, Actually JK bc in my ncau-niverse, cd and the blondies gang are celebrities, so naturally they’re on A Lot of social filters )
so he was GOING to save The No.1 slot...for the no.1 slut ( if you will, ) my ginger gringo king, ceo of dark academic debauchery and bottom feeding ;), new jay's finest - literally - kyley b matthew broflovski; <33 ( buuuut! he's a reformed manhoe; so watchya mowtH! )
buuuuut x2 ( and i'd say it's a big butt, but it's not, it's ravenstan, so it's flatter than the sidewalk; luh you flat stanley ) Gaydhd Won Again and tipsy ravenstan got distracted by all the FINE ASS WHITE MEN and started getting philosophical about it ( that man put a lil too much #thot into those placings; he was born for it, soz )
had about two spots left ( the top and bottom spots; i am laughing ) figured that there was almost 'No Chance!' he would get jersey...
PUT /MATTHEW! GRAY! GUBLER!/ AT ONE ( Immaculate Taste, btw! he also put jacob elordi at number two because he is a fucking genius and that...really tells you Everything you need to know about my stan. like tall, could probably be a runway model, intellectual, kind of a jackass, stays fitted, accent or eccentric manner of speaking...yeah )
-- BUT HE WANTED TO BE CLEAR, HE HAD TO SPECIFY THAT HE WAS SPECIFICALLY REFERRING TO /DR. SPENCER REID/ OF CRIMINAL MINDS. WHEN I TELL YOU HE HAS NO IDEA WHO MGG IS BUT HE HAS SEEN EVERY EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS SEVERAL TIMES. IT’S LIKE...HIS /FAVORITE/ FKN SHOW. AND HE DOES HAVE A FAT CRUSH ON REID. YES, I DOES TRACK; I KNOW. )
and RIGHT when he was rolling for the very last spot ranking on the filter ( that's the BOTTOM, i repeat, THE B/O/T/T/O/M of the tierlist )
...hE GOT KYLE
FUCKING
BROFLOVSKI
and had to place him at /TEN/.
-- riiiiiiight as Kyle /FUCKING/ Broflovski came out of the kitchen in the dorky ass star of david apron that sheila got him for hannukah, with his hair up and everything, holding a fork so stan could taste...
...T-THE PASTA HE JUST MADE HIM FOR DINNER BECAUSE HE'S A SWEET BEAUTIFUL /ANGEL/....and i'm talking The Very First Bite Of EXTREMELY DELICIOUS KYLE Pasta that he put ZUCCHINI IN JUST FOR STAN BECAUSE HE IS ( what? ) AN ANGEL!! FROM hEAVEN!!!!! AND THE WHITE BOY OF THE /YEAR/: TAKE YA JERSEY SLANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE: HE'S MY WHITE BUOY UVF FOREVA!
...proceeded to Blow On It ;-;, s-so stan wouldn't burn his mouth... ( bc rav always gets too excited and burns his mouth; nooo :c </3 ) and asked him why his phone was blowing up w/ people tagging him in thirst traps of 'That Supa Nerdy Guy From That One Crime Show' and asking him if stan tweeted something about him cooking bc people keep telling him that he's 'Cooked'. SHKDLDHLKS HEEELP.
And....
*rawr xd home mid/hschooled ravenstan vc*
Scene. <3
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Hi!! I hope you're feeling better! So... I guess you are never gonna write that Pregnancy AU.... May I ask how that one would play out?
Hii!!
I am so sorry, but yeah, I don't think I'll ever have the time😅
So this is basically the plotline: Simón and Ámbar managed to have a short relationship in Season 2 before he found the handkerchief and everything went to hell. It wasn't a long relationship, mind you, but it was, like, two months or something like that, and in that time, they got intimate with each other (bc in this AU neither of them were virgins, so it was easier for them to just let their raging hormones go).
Anyway, eventually Simón found the handkerchief and they had an ugly break up just like in the show. Ámbar still took revenge on the Roller Team by joining the Sliders and stealing the choreography, she befriended Emilia during the month and a half in Cancún, and then everyone went back to Buenos Aires and Ámbar is now wearing full black, just like in the show.
Except, she's been feeling kind of weird lately and it only gets worse once she's back at her house. She thinks it might be stress or sadness because it's not even her house anymore and she's surrounded by annoying people and her godmother abandoned her. The flicker of an idea was in the back of her mind but she didn't want to believe that because why would she? Simón and her always used protection, so there was no way. (And her luck was already bad enough, so there was no way. Life couldn't hate her that much.)
But as time went by and her period didn't come and she was vomiting frequently, she just had to make sure. So she takes some tests some day that no one else is at the house, just for extra privacy, (I believe I wrote this in a oneshot? I don't remember) and... they're positive.
Ámbar doesn't take it well, for obvious reasons. She's extremely angry at Simón for not noticing that some condom broke because that was the only way this happened. She immediately thinks of getting an abortion bc why the hell would she have this baby? She's too young, Simón doesn't love her, no one loves her, Sharon abandoned her, she can't just further ruin her life, she can't.
Except then she remembers that she is adopted. She remembers that someone didn't want her and gave her away, and she just... can't do that to another person. This baby is not at fault for anything. Every child should be loved at least by their mother.
So, she decides to keep it. She is Ámbar Smith, she can do anything and triumph, so she will have this baby and do just that.
But, of course, that brings the problem that she has to tell Simón, because, even if they had a horrible falling out and she doubted he would want to be involved (hell, she didn't even know if she would want him to be involved) he deserved to know.
Keep in mind, this is not like in canon Season 3 where Simón had a magical change of heart and started flirting with Ámbar immediately at the beginning of the season. In here, things are strained between them. Simón had a lot of time to think in Cancún, so sure, he's not as angry with Ámbar as he originally was, he does feel a little bad for how he ended things with her, but he's not sorry he did end up things because Ámbar did a lot of bad stuff, and she was continuing to do bad stuff, with no apparent remorse, so he couldn't be with someone like that (no matter how much he still has feelings for her and sometimes longs for the old days in which they were together and happy.) He has noticed that Ámbar hasn't been feeling well lately, and against all reason, he's a little worried, but he's not going to ask; it's none of his business anymore.
So, Simón doesn't believe Ámbar at first when she tells him she's pregnant and the baby is his. After all, how could it be his? They used protection every time, and he tells her that, to which Ámbar replies that condoms are only 99% effective, they can break, but Simón, rightfully scared shitless at the possibility and also not trusting Ámbar one bit, doesn't believe they could be that unlucky and accuses her, instead, of sleeping with some other guy in Cancún and now trying to latch this baby onto him.
Ámbar is rightfully outraged and hurt, but mostly outraged, because "Why the fuck would I be telling you this if you weren't the father? Do you think I want you in my life after how you threw me away? If I could choose literally any other guy on the planet, I would!!" And "Lovely to know that you not only think of me as a liar but also as someone who just sleeps with anyone. Thank you very much, Simón. You know what? Think whatever you want. I'll take care of it on my own. Forget I said anything."
(Of course, that 'I'll take care of it' could very much mean 'I'll get rid of it', Simón has no idea she has decided to keep it, so there's that.)
Eventually, (and it doesn't take that long, really) Simón comes around because Ámbar's logic does make sense (Why would she tell him of all people when they broke up horribly? It had to be true) and also because, well, Ámbar looked sincere (he ignores the voices in his head calling him stupid for trusting her) and condoms aren't perfect, and he wants to believe that what they had really did mean something, and they created something beautiful together as proof of that, even if the magic of those days is dead now.
So he appeals to Ámbar, tries to tell her that he wants to be part of it, but Ámbar is shutting him out because she's mad as hell at him (and maybe she's mad at a lot of other things and projecting that onto him as well, but fuck him, he got her pregnant at 18)
Eventually, they have a deep conversation and decide to do this together, even if they're not together anymore. (I wrote a oneshot about this, it starts as a fight but it deescalates.) So, Simón supports her in every way that he can, goes to the doctor's appointments (if Ámbar lets him tag along), reads info on the internet, pretty much gives up on his music dreams because he needs a better job if he wants to help Ámbar take care of the baby, etc.
(When Ámbar finds out about this, she tells him to not drop everything for her, that she has money, that Luna already promised to give half the fortune to her to support the baby, but Simón is not convinced. He has to do something. He is half-responsible for that baby and Ámbar is already doing everything by carrying it to full term, how can he not contribute with something?)
Btw, telling both their families is a whole mess, but eventually, they all come around because they're good people. (Some relatives of Simón do say that he should marry her because it's the responsible thing to do, but they're old-fashioned, and Ámbar wouldn't want to marry him even if he asked. ......right?)
So, the pregnancy moves forward, making them share little moments together like the ultrasounds, feeling when the baby starts kicking, learning the gender (It's a girl!!), and both talking and singing to it because they learn that she can hear them and they want her to know her mommy's and daddy's voices. ("We'll probably make a lot of mistakes, little one, but we promise to do our best for you.")
Throughout all this, Ámbar mellows out because, she's a mother now, all those petty rivalries and revenge plans are not important anymore, her baby is, and she wants to be a good example for her, she doesn't want her to go through what she did.
And Simón was always soft, but he softens even more when Ámbar stops being hostile towards everyone and instead starts acting like the Ámbar he fell in love with. Plus, she looks absolutely radiant. Whoever came up with the term 'baby glow' was 100% correct-- She's never been more beautiful.
By the second semester, the attraction between the two is all alive and kicking again (and was it ever really gone?) and around month 5 they end up kissing because they just couldn't not to. But it's not as simple as that because now they have a baby to think about. They can't just try and date again, that already didn't work once, and they had enough problems and things to deal with now to add a blooming exes-to-lovers relationship to the mix.
So they don't get back together... yet. The feelings are there, the attraction is there-- Hell, they kiss sometimes because it feels right and as long as it's just some innocent kisses, there's no problem, right? (It does get heated sometimes- But is still just kisses!) They agree that it's just not the time to rekindle this thing between them. They should wait until the baby is born, see if after months of sleepless nights and changing diapers and stress taking care of it they still have feelings for each other, and if so, then it could be smart to try again.
Except-- FUCK THAT, because they love each other, Simón loves her, and Ámbar could die in the delivery, and then what? They were never together because of fear? Who cares if it might not work out, no one ever knew that for sure, and it was precisely because of their baby that they should try. She deserved a whole family instead of a fragmented one, didn't she?
Simón conveys all of this to Ámbar, speaks about hope and believing in love and about how in love with her he is and how much he loves their daughter already, and how he just doesn't want to wait to be with her and start their life together.
It's all so beautiful and emotional that Ámbar's eyes water and... Oh. Her water broke.
Oh Shit.
oH SHIT!
So, anyway, they rush to the hospital (don't worry, the baby was close enough to full-term that it's not really dangerous, it's fine) and Ámbar has the delivery (she curses everything and everyone while Simón tells her she's strong and she can do this!) and, eventually, their beautiful daughter is born.
They both cry. Well, and the baby too, of course, so that makes three.
In the end, it all works out; They're together, their daughter is (demanding, exhausting, overwhelming) healthy and beautiful and they love her so much, everyone dotes on her (Simón moved into the mansion for the time being, and Ámbar's whole family is there to help them raise their daughter, so it's not so hard), Simón and Ámbar's relationship seems to be working even with all the stress (they support each other, so that helps them bond), oh, and the Roller Band does get a record deal (BECAUSE THEY DESERVE IT, THEY BASICALLY HAD IT WITH VIDIA, YOU CAN NOT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THEM.)
*Cough* So, happy ending to everyone! Eventually, Ámbar finds the time to go to university (I'll let you choose what she studies), and once she graduates, Simón proposes to her, she says yes, and they live happily ever after with their lovely daughter <3 (And if there's another little one on the way after the honey moon, well... 🤫 Don't tell them yet, it's a surprise.)
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